And That's Why We Drink - E285 An Emergency Bag Escape Room and a Pantsless Recording

Episode Date: July 24, 2022

Welcome to episode 285, where Christine is changing diapers by lantern light! This week Em does a double feature rodent cryptid round up with the tales of the Afanc and the Lavellan. Then Christine covers the tragic and redemptive story of Lisa McVey. And are all cryptids queer? And that's why we drink!Don't forget to get tickets to our 2nd Annual Cryptids Unscripted Poetry Slam and Charity Auction! momenthouse.com/cryptidsunscripted

oh boy howdy hi christine hey em how are you i am good i feel like uh both of us are in high spirits today. What's that about? I don't know, but you seem happy. I seem happy. Seem. I don't know if you are. That's a key word. How are you doing? What's been going on? I haven't talked to you in a long, long time, it seems. I know. We'll see. Here's the thing that happened is that there was a thunderstorm. We were supposed to record a couple of days ago. And I frantically texted you from Blaze's phone, you and Eva, to let you know that I didn't have power and my phone wasn't working. And I was just sitting in the dark with my little lantern I bought off Amazon last year. And so we didn't get to record. So I do apologize for that.

We just sat in the dark instead. So it actually worked out very well for me. So because the power came on later that night and was like, maybe you should text them and see like if they want to record right now. And I was like, no, I'm sure M has already found better plans. I did. You want to know what my better plans? Yeah. Okay. I wanted to tell you

when we recorded last time it was going to be the reason why i drank but then you weren't we didn't record so now i have to tell you after the fact but i got to go to an early screening of thor okay i saw this on instagram and my feelings were so hurt because you didn't tell me about it but then i was like oh my god em was supposed to tell me this on the podcast weren't they it was gonna be why i drank that day what okay now i need to know because holy crap um it was i saw the cake pops that out of control like that was some hoboken shit right there you know what i'm saying that was some cake boss stuff uh uh okay so uh how do i start also today when we're recording this is actual uh like like open day opening day release day i what is wrong with me why can't i remember how to say it

it comes out today it comes out later tonight and so um i'm actually seeing it for a second time uh with other christine oh my gosh later tonight because i felt so bad because usually her ever since like 2015 she's been the person that i went to every marvel movie with and then i started dating allison and then christine got a job where she traveled a lot so it ended up working out that i had a new marvel buddy because christine was gone but now all three of us go to see them together on opening night. But I had to go to early screening. I'm sorry, Christine.

I've already seen this. I had to confess. I was like, I've already seen it. But it's so good. It's so worth seeing a second time. How did you get to go to this early screening? How cool. It was the same way I got into that Nicolas Cage thing.

Nicolas Cage thing. Nice. It was the same way I got into that Nicolas Cage thing. We have a very lovely PR people who their whole thing, I guess, is just finding events. And well, they've got other things going on, too. I was like, I don't know about that. The one thing that's currently super fun in my world is that I had said, you know, I see a bunch of like TikTokers and stuff. And like, of course, they have platforms like way bigger than mine. They have like millions of followers. But they go to like Marvel events. Like, how do I get in on that? So I think I just told... My favorite part is that they were like, oh, okay, sure, you can do that. And I was like,

what do I want to do? Now I need to come up with something. Well, so I did say I was like, anything Marvel, I don't care how lowbrow it is. I will do it wait, what do I want to do? Now I need to come up with something. Well, so I did say, I was like, anything Marvel. I don't care how lowbrow it is. I will do it. I will do it. I will do it. And this one just worked out very well. It wasn't like the big Chinese theater screening or anything.

It was someone on TikTok was doing a collab with Box Lunch or something. So they had this screening and only a certain amount of people were able to come so it was a very weird i have no idea how the strings got pulled but they got pulled and i ended up getting to go i'm very very lucky and it was very fun so the i was curious how the food was gonna be because i was like if this is a marvel movie i wonder what the budget is on like screening food because obviously by first that was the food not the movie obviously and they i love a good theme christine you know this i know this about you they delivered and it was so it was at this movie theater and they just had like a whole like floor of theaters like blocked out

cool and so they had roped off like the escalator and all that so it was just um private screen it was like yeah it was it felt very i felt very out of place everyone was either way more dressed up than i was or way underdressed compared to me so i have no idea where i fit in the crowd i feel like anytime i i've never understood this california cool aesthetic it's california cool i don't get it i don't get it either it really is so vague that i guess it means you could wear whatever the fuck you want i think so but i need some structure like what are we doing that formal not formal and so some people were in like three-piece suits and some people were just wearing thor shirts so i was like it's like i feel so out of place. And so you were wearing fish flops.

So you really nailed it. I told myself I was going to wear normal clothes, but with the Thor color palette. And that's what I went with. That's precious. Love that for you and the theme. So we wore dark red and I wore some like some like khakis or something because that's like the secondary color of his outfit. So anyway, i'm getting

really into unnecessary details but the food was amazing they had them all named uh i i stole one of the name name plates they were like we were gonna put that in the trash it's okay um it was like they had like the wings of the nine realms and i was like oh yeah i'm taking that um and then they had a whole bunch of different cake pops there was one that literally looked like chris hemsworth and it was very weird and precious so i ate a lot of those um they had uh themed drinks available they had themed mocktails available wow um and it was the only time i've ever eaten like real adult food in a movie theater like they were like oh take the wings of the nine realms with you to the theater.

It was very fun. That is so cool. And honestly, I just keep getting flashbacks to like us sitting in my tiny living room attached to the kitchen, attached to my bedroom, attached to the living room, attached to Los Angeles and sitting there and just thinking like what you would say like, oh, I'm going to the new Marvel movie. And I was like, oh, what's a Marvel movie? And now it's like now I'm was like oh what's a marvel movie and now it's like now i'm still like what's a marvel movie but you get to go to private

screenings with cake pops of one of the helmsworths that's so cool it was it really it was such it was very very fun i'm so proud of you that makes me so happy i'm sorry i didn't tell you earlier but i was like no i saw the post and i was like did I miss a text like is M mad at me or something and then I was like of course I'm like is M mad at me like okay usually it's me about to tell you something and then we end up not seeing each other and then I get mad and it's like why are you mad

I don't know I hope you didn't ruin your own day with that but no no of course not no no but I was like I'm gonna need to either because I wasn't gonna text you about it because I was like well I can't to need to either – because I wasn't going to text you about it. Because I was like, well, I can't just like text Em about this. I need to like hear it in person. So that's very exciting.

I'm very proud of you. And it looked like a lot of fun. It was very fun. And I – they had like a whole stage there where you could like use props and take pictures and stuff. So anyway, it was a delight. And if that's the only Marvel event I ever get invited to, I can now wash my hands from it and say it's been done. What's wrong with me? you could like use props and take pictures and stuff so anyway it was it was a delight and if that's the only marvel event i ever get invited to i can now wash my hands from it and say it's been done i'm getting like teary-eyed i'm like just so proud of you i don't know it's just oh

i i think i'm too excited to realize how sentimental it is but i it'll happen later after you've already gotten over it and then i'll be be like, why don't you care? I'll be like, what's a Marvel movie? I don't know. It's just all very confusing. But you just said the other thing that I was going to brag on for why I drank this week, which was I made a pit stop this weekend at your old apartment.

I know. And of course, it was very sweet. But I was like, well, obviously Em's there because they're doing some weird themed anniversary scavenger hunt or some shit i hope you realize like there couldn't be anything more m and christine than like having incidentally narrate or uh thrown yourself into the narrative of my anniversary because every okay you threw your anniversary into my narrative let's put it that way okay fair enough but we anniversary out of my narrative and for allison and i have every year at least that we're in la we always make a little drive on over to your old apartment and take a picture at the and the people who live there

who are these strange people they show up why do they always show up on july 4th what is going on um did you please wanted to know if you went to house of pies um we went to fred 62 instead oh i love fred 62 okay and i we got um shirts sweatshirts and hats from whoa party time well i don't know if i've told you this part but fred 62 is where i actually like the i've had like the moment of like oh i love you i had that with had that with the house in the front 62. So I was like, in case this store ever shuts down, I need all the merch now. So you are really throwing your anniversary

into everybody's narrative. Yeah, you get it. Cool. But I wish I had gone to House of Pies, but I was already full from the front 62. I get it. Anyway, that was two very big reasons why I drink this week.

But now I want to hear why you drink this week besides your thunderstorms and your broken house. Yeah, while you were doing cool private screenings, I was changing diapers by lantern light. Said Emily Dickinson or something. before you got on the same i was telling you i was like you know i had these like little lanterns on our balcony for like at nighttime if you want to sit out there and just turn the lantern on and i was like i'm never going to use these and then the power went out and i was like oh my god so i went and got these little lanterns and i was walking around with them and it was so wild but i was convinced that um i was convinced that the ghosts were going to see me like holding a lantern and be like, ah, back in my comfort zone and like show up in the dark. And of course, everything was like candlelight.

So it was very spooky. So I was just like avoiding any sort of dark hallways because I was like, I'm going to see a Victorian lady at the end of this hallway with my little lantern. I don't mean to sound all like Boy Scout-y here with the always be prepared, but I will say I, as a lover of neon lights and flashlights and anything to make things glow, I have a weird amount of flashlights ready to go if there's a power outage.

We have a whole camping section, which ironically we don't use very often, but we use it a lot if there's ever a power outage. We got so many lights ready to go. Yeah know blaze has all the flashlights and like emergency stuff i started posting pictures to instagram and he was like you need to keep your phone battery charged and so i was like oh right so i just left the room and did it in there because i was like i still want to post on instagram okay i think i think the next time i give you like a big haul of gifts i'm gonna to have a preparedness bag for you. Well, remember Eva gave me one of my favorite gifts of all time early on in our friendship, which was the earthquake emergency backpack?

And I still have that, but I don't think I should utilize those types of tools for your ordinary power outage. But here's what I'm going to do. Yes, tell me. for your ordinary power outage i feel like but here's what i'm gonna do yes i'm gonna do though okay i'm gonna it's gonna be packed full of fresh batteries and very bright like like tiktok ad like power flashlights you know what i mean yes and then uh there's also going to be a already charged external battery in there and there's stuff and fruit snacks and it's going to be locked and you are not allowed to know the code until the next time you have a power outage because otherwise i know you're going to rip that thing apart and use every single thing for the wrong

reason and then when you need it all it's going to be missing and or not and i'm gonna go i don't know where it went and blaze gonna be like you ate it i'm gonna be like no I don't know where I went. And Blaze is going to be like, you ate it. I'm going to be like, no, I didn't. Yeah, that's true. The only thing is my phone, every time the power goes out, just doesn't work. And I wonder if it's like, Blaze said it was probably like everybody in the area was, because like 75,000 houses lost power. So we were wondering like maybe everybody's suddenly on the cell network and that's why it's not working. Anyway, so I couldn't even reach you.

Here's a new plan. Here's a new plan. Okay, tell me. Okay. Do I have to do one of your escape rooms to get into this thing? Because I'm never going to survive. I'm not. It won't totally be an escape room. But next time I go to your place, I will have all the stuff I just listed already ready to go.

I'm going to hide it somewhere in your home. Oh. And then you just have to. I can't. Since you can't text me to be like, what's the code? It'll be unlocked and ready to go. But you just have to, I can't, since you can't text me to be like, what's the code? It'll be unlocked and ready to go. But you just have to find it now. Because if you have access to it right away, if I just hand it to you, you will open it

and rip it apart. But it'll be a fun game in the dark anyway to just try to find it. And you know what? As long as you put like some dangerous items like knives and power cords, Leona will find it and put it in her mouth. So if you put some staples and like some things that she's definitely not supposed to chew on she will lead me directly to it so i think that's a great idea i'll put a a bluetooth like squeaker in there and like then when i might find it i'll check the weather and whatever it is

and then whatever i don't hear from you for too long i'll just like press the squeaker on my end you just gotta follow the duke energy outage map at any time that like my little square is lit up but it's like wild because we hadn't lost power ever living in this house and then all of a sudden it's like cool nothing works um and oh wait there was one more thing i was gonna tell you oh yeah before like the other reason i drink which is a happy reason is that i went for my birthday blaze got me um tickets to see Death Cab for Cutie and the concert was last night I saw I saw you were so fun you brought your sister uh yeah so well no um she it was on her story yeah yeah she was there don't get me wrong she was actually supposed to babysit

and then um she was like no I'm going to the concert and I was like oh that's a cool fun change of pace um and she's like no Tim's got so my stepdad came over to babysit but I was like cool my babysitter just is like now joining me for this date night but anyway no it was very fun and like one of my brother's good friends um and one of my friends was going so we all went together as a little group and crashed each other state nights and then my sister showed up so it was good but i i got this shirt and it's actually of a band called the illuminati hotties and they opened for death cab and i was like and they're like we're from la and i was like me too but not really but sort of so fun illuminati hotties i

what a what a great name. I know. I was like, damn. And then they walked out and Liz and I were like, yeah, those are some Illuminati Hotties. I just love it. I just love the name so much. And so I bought a shirt. But anyway, it was a great time. And somebody recognized me. And I, of course, couldn't really hear their name. name so I was like so hello to whoever you are and sorry I hugged you I had already had a couple beers so it's like well uh and I was gonna say uh I haven't I haven't been recognized in a while but I did finally get to be starstruck on my end at that Thor thing because the the TikToker that was having the collab is one of the people I follow on TikTok. And I guess to a point where even I've shown some of his videos to Allison because Allison noticed them and was like, oh, yeah, I've seen their videos. So very sweet.

And the last thing I'll say about Thor is they're so like one of Thor's like sidekick is like not the right word but an additional uh superhero who's always in the Thor movies now her name is Valkyrie it's Tessa Thompson do you know who that is no but I probably maybe I'm just so bad at just trust me you would have a crush on her like the aesthetic is very I'm just gonna blindly believe you on that one well so in the in the last in the last and i say you'd have a crush on her because fucking everyone does um what's her name but tessa thompson type in valkyrie and just i recognize her for sure okay oh yeah so she was like very very queer coded in the last movie and the last like the last thor movie was like her debut movie. And everyone was like, that's a queer person.

Absolutely. And also people have also said that like Captain Marvel was very, very queer coded, which, you know, given her like probably lesbian lover in the movie was it's very queer coded. Check, check, check. Right. But so everyone has been saying like, Wendy like Valkyrie and Captain Marvel, like have a thing.

And then Tessa Thompson and brie larson started like actively flirting on twitter with each other it became a whole thing so everyone's like little gay brain broke um but so they heard our cries apparently that like valkyrie should be queer and in this movie she's like canonically queer now it's very nice i'm just so and there's a scene like i'm not giving any spoiler away it just was like a like a passing moment where like they just like had this big battle and then like she goes up to one of the women and just like grabs her hand and like gives her like a kiss and gives her intense eye contact while giving like the kiss on her hand i lost my goddamn mind

i was like that was like i like and it came right after a scene where we watched chris hemsworth uh and we saw like full his whole bottom his whole tushy was out and i i didn't even notice that but i did notice tessa thompson getting intense eye contact and kissing a girl on the hand and i lost my stupid little mind so i'm seeing again tonight very excited for tonight very excited that really that scene is all i'm going for but you know whatever oh my gosh i'm so this is just so exciting i don't know why but i'm just like jazzed i'm jazzed i my heart thing almost started happening i was just oh no oh no take it down a notch i mean to just pour just oh wow tessa thompson's so smoking and uh very glad that she's part of the Alphabet gang at this point.

I love it. I love it. OK, so here's my story for you, because we've talked and talked about Thor weirdly for like 20 minutes and then also Death Cab for Cutie and the Illuminati Hottie. So what a triad. There's a lot happening. And like also Victorian ghosts. So you can't forget them. You can't forget. Well, I have, I don't know if it's, it's not a surprise to you. It was a surprise to me because I didn't, I didn't see this coming. But if you recall the

last episode we recorded, we, I talked about the Tizzy Wizzy. Oh, do I recall? I recall. The little hedgehog cryptid who could, I suppose. Who's my new love interest, yes. Who's also canonically queer as far as I'm concerned. Somewhere on the alphabet and I just love him. And so I just, when I decided- That's actually what the T stands for. Sorry, M. Is it Tizzy Wizzy?

Yeah. I guess I'm a little Tizzy Wizzy. Unknown fact or a little known fact actually unknown because it's only me who knows it lesbian gay by tizzy and happy to fall under the tizzy umbrella if you will yeah um well so while i was researching tizzy whizzy i only found a few links because there wasn't too much there. But Google did say, I'm sorry, did you mean the Afonk? And I went, okay. Yes. So clicked around there. And as soon as I typed in Afonk, Google went, went i'm sorry did you mean the lavellan

what's going on these are all also letters in lgbt i'm like we're just like adding the whole uh so apparently a funk is asexual lavellan is lesbian because he was a trans yeah yeah we're getting there well i couldn't find a a b or a G or a plus sign, but I did find... Okay. But between those two, those were the two that kept coming up every time I typed in rodent cryptid and tizzy wizzy. And so I have a double feature for you today, which is the Afonk and the Lavellan. What on earth?

I've never heard of either of these things me either i like when google said i'm sorry is this what you meant i was like google i don't think you know what you i was gonna say google sometimes knows us better than we know ourselves but also like what these words don't make sense together but okay or these letters don't okay so i'm going to do my best to pronounce everything right. But one of them is Welsh and one of them is Scottish. Oh, boy. And it's just, I tried my best.

Even at one point tried to take like a phonetic crash course and like learn how to pronounce certain letters. But, oh, boy. Yeah. So sorry in advance to anyone who's Welsh or Scottish and just wants to rip their hair out. But we're going to start first with the afonk um who is also known as the adonk adane or abok and also all of those are spelled in a multiple variety situation of ways um like the adonk was spelt like four different ways on its own the abac was its own thing so really you could just say any a letter word and probably be on your way to be somewhere near it yeah yeah yeah so uh the is from north wales on the river conway uh and they are allegedly in this particular lake or pool which is called

okay so if it has two l's apparently that's like the sound okay so instead of i would i would have said is lynn year a funk which means basically the a funk lake but apparently it's Klinjur Afonk. Holy crap. So I'm glad I checked. And it translates to the Afonk Lake or the Afonk Pool, and it's named after the Afonk. So it must be, if people are guessing that's where the Afonk lives and they named that whole place after the Afonk, I guess they're pretty certain about it.

The Afonk could also allegedly be in two different places, where instead of Klin Afonk, it could be in Klin Lion or Klin Barfog. So those are the three main areas of water that it's suggested that the Afonk lives in. Okay. And it's basically like a Nessie type of water monster. Ooh. But instead of it looking like the Loch Ness monster where it's like a worm popping out every now and then,

it is said to either look like a crocodile, a platypus, or a beaver. Okay. So again, wide range yeah some think it is also a demon oh it's a lot of things didn't see that coming shockingly right i also you we should have that would have been the first thing we usually think is coming but a cryptid and a demon i don't think i've covered that since you so a funk is actually also the local welsh word now for beaver wait no way i don't know if it's the chicken or the egg situation like did the funk come first and get translated to beaver or was beaver first and then a funk but either way a funk now means beaver in welsh that's so weird the funk is known to attack anything or anyone in the water oh so if you go jumping around in that lake you might get attacked by the funk don't is what i'll tell you right yeah

just simply don't it's apparently strong enough quote, break the banks of the pool. And it is said to be the reason for floods in the area. Oh, OK. And especially in this one lake that they think the Afonk lives in, which is named after him. Yeah. It's because that area of water happens to have a lot of whirlpools in it and so they think that the affonk is the cause of anything getting dragged under the water but it could also just a naturalistic explanation can just be this is a

whirlpool you know and that doesn't make any sense you You're right. I don't know what I was talking about. It's also said that the Afonk is nearly impervious and nothing can pierce its flesh. Oh, okay. Can't be stabbed. Scary. And so here's one version of the story of the Afonk. Or in this version, it was known as the Adonk. a funk or in this version it was known as the a donk um so this version is that i guess this was like a 17th century story to the a donk it's been around for a while this these folklores of him and this particular story says that the a donk lives in a palace or he lives near a palace he's not like the king um he rules the nation under his iron fist

that can't be stabbed by the way that can't be stabbed he lives in a cave near a palace okay this palace has a very interesting name the palace of the sons of the king of the tortures uh apparently it this whole how do you spell tortures like torture with an s like torture like to harm somebody or like torch like a with a flame not torches oh no okay that's what i thought so he lives in a cave next to this palace with the crazy name. And so in this cave, the Adonk would every day kill the king's three sons. And then they'd be brought back to life and he would kill them again the next day. Okay. So right off the bat, I don't know if I need to tell you this, but this is not a very realistic story. Especially since the Adonk is at the center stage of it all right um so the the lore is that the

king's sons would go to the cave every day to try to kill him but they would always lose okay and the king asks to go with his sons one day to fight the adonk but they say no you can't because if you die you can't be brought back to life like we can well that's not very nice okay yeah i guess they genetically got that from their mom i don't know yeah that's not part from your side of the family dad so then the king goes on his own one day he doesn't tell anyone he just sneaks away and goes to see via donk for himself okay a stubborn man just like them all and he on his way to kill the creature uh he meets the queen of constantinople oh yeah that happens sometimes i bumped into her last week at ralph's but you know you never know where she'll turn up so apparently she was in disguise as a as a fair maiden oh sure okay you know how she is with her dress up classic and she said that by the way that's what the q is in lgbtq

you know you were on to something with queen to be be queer. I'm saying. Not queer, clear. I'm saying, to be queer. Okay, well, so she's dressed as a fair maiden, as all queens of Constantinople's are. You know that trope. Classic. And she basically tells the king, oh, you're not going to be able to fight the Adonk because he's invisible. Oh, my God. I like that she's just got like ran. She was into cryptids of her time. Yeah.

She's like trivia knowledge about this thing. It's like if someone if the king came over to you and said, I'm going to go fight Mothman and you were like, let me get my binder. Yeah. Let me open art. And that's why we drink email account because I have a lot of factoids for you. Let me let me open up last year's cryptid poetry slam and because i have a lot of factoids for you let me let me open up last year's cryptid poetry slam and i'll show you what you're missing out on

he's very sensual so be prepared for that that's what i'll say you wouldn't see it coming but before he wraps you up in his fuzzy wings disarms you you know okay so she says oh mr king you're not gonna be able to you're not gonna be able to fight him because he's invisible so this is gonna be really tough for you good luck and basically for good luck gives him this stone an adder adder stone a d d e r oh i don't isn't that a spider okay it doesn't matter adder accurate inaccurate is it oh adder oh it's a snake an adder snake look how scary this thing is freaky forget it honestly oh you guys see the creeps just looking at it. I saw it from California and I gotta be honest, I hated it. An adder stone is a type of stone usually glassy with a naturally occurring hole through it. Okay.

Well, I just keep on thinking about this. It doesn't look much better than the snake, honestly. Like, it looks... I beg to differ. I'd much rather hold that than the snake. Okay, fair point, fair point. Okay, Fair point. Fair point. Okay. Fair point.

So she gives him this stone, which apparently will help him see the, the Adonk, even though it's invisible. So it gives him the special power to see the Adonk. So then you're disarming the Adonk because he thinks, I'm invisible. You're not going to find me.

I sneak up on you. Yeah. And the king goes up to him and finds him in the cave and kills him because he can see the beast. So he kills the Adonk. And later he goes back to his three sons and says, oh, you don't have to go to the cave anymore. I killed him. Like, I did your job for you, basically. And the sons let him know, because apparently they've been withholding this information the whole time, that he was always destined. He was the prophecy to kill the Adon.

What? Okay. I feel like that second half was the king at a bar trying to brag. Just like adding to his hyperbole a little bit. He was like, I was meant for this. Yeah, yeah. They said it. I didn't say it.

They said it. I was always meant to kill that beast. You ask him. So basically he was always destined to be the one to get rid of the town monster, I guess. And his story has often been compared to King Arthur and Excalibur. Interesting tie-in one of the reasons why i said the a donk or the afonk uh is said to live in one of three areas one of the areas i guess it comes from this story is chlin bar fog um i'm probably nailing Lin and not Barfog, but whatever.

One of the reasons that that location is on the list of places the Adonk might live is because at this area, there is a rock there called the Stone of Arthur's Horse. Oh. And in this rock, there's a hoof print etched into it. And it's allegedly a hoof print belonging to King Arthur's horse as he was like dragging the Adonk out to the lake. Whoa. Or pulling him out from the lake or something like that. Whoa. What the hell? And so I think they combined the stories of like the Adonk and this like Excalibur adjacent story. And then King Arthur apparently himself is now involved with the Adonk in a separate story.

So is the horse? Yeah, right. That's a lot. A lot of characters. The horse sounds like he did the most work. Honestly, nobody gives credit to the horse. So that's just another location that has been thrown in as like a suggestion of where the Adonk might live. Wow.

Another version of the story. So the King's story is over. This is another popular version of the Adonk story, is that in Conway Valley, where the Adonk is said to be, that area used to have devastating floods, used to damage the crops, used to injure the cattle, and the townspeople said that the adonk was responsible for floods so they had to get rid of this monster and then they wouldn't have this problem anymore so they needed to take the adonk out and bring him to another lake which i don't

understand when you just in my like old timey brain wouldn't your first thought just be hunt and kill it like but i guess if it can't be pierced with anything maybe they thought they couldn't i don't know uh-huh that's a great point this is you and i arguing with our pitch forks like well what do we do with it let's put it in there like don't tell them though like put them in the neighbor's lake tell them that their crops are in trouble sorry so evil to move it to a different fucking lake. I really am just thinking about us having a talk, a chat with our pitchforks. Honestly, it reminds me of anytime there's a spider or something.

And I'm like, let's just carry him outside. You're like, kill it. Do you remember that horrid green thing that was in your... I'm so scared of it now, being in this room again. Neither of us had pitchforks, but I certainly had a shoe ready to go. And you had just hopes and dreams that it would fly away unharmed. To be fair, I did have that. I also had a big knife from the ice cream cake.

So I feel like... Because you're Hawkeye and you would just bullseye the bug i don't know just if things went south you know i was prepared if things went south and the bug got near you and you remembered to grab the knife you would have been the most dangerous being to be in that room neither of us would have walked out of there alive i think probably so just been stabbing the air oops so uh okay so they have their pitchforks and they're like what do we do oh yeah let's move him over to the lake got it to a different lake and so the men decided uh oh wait i think this is actually the oh no never mind i thought i i

thought i was on to something but my detective skills are not what they are i thought they were nice try we would be like relegated to the back of the fucking pitchfork squad we'd be like it'd be like you guys wait here you'd be lookout i thought you were gonna say i'd be delegated to the back of like a precinct because i like i'm clearly like not in modern detective benson so okay so they decide they're to take him to a different lake. And the men decide that all the blacksmiths in town are going to get together and create the strongest chains that they can wrap around the Odonk and pull him from their water and have their strongest oxen drag him by these chains to another lake. There's a fucking giant bug next to me. I'm not making this scene and honestly it's one of those giant mosquitoes and i'm not about it i don't like this

i don't like them i don't know where you stand but i'm okay with murder in this case don't somebody's gonna clip that line and just i said in this case oh m oh he's too high up okay give me a second okay did you get it i got him oh my god what's happening okay we're good it's fine just don't worry about it it's good oh my god i'm fine it's fine i liked your purple shorts thank you so much much. I just got them. I'm glad I was wearing pants. Sometimes I don't wear pants. So that would have been a fun site.

That would have been a Patreon exclusive. There have been a few times I actively didn't wear pants to recording because I was like, oh, only the top of me is going to get seen. And then I panic that like, that's going to be the day like the fire alarm goes off. Yep. Always. It's like the day that a giant mosquito arrives i have always at least worn underwear just to just be clear i have two so if anybody's scared

of that full command at any point we're not there yet i'm sure in a couple years we'll make it to that point of our podcast but we're not there yet oh oh yeah yeah yeah yeah we'll get there anyway sorry for the little tangent. You can go back to your story now. That was your own battle with the donk. I feel like you had your adder stone out. You were the prophecy. You were destined to kill that bug.

You said it, okay? And I feel like someone should make a statue. Also, I took that a little far. I went one step too far, I think. don't know i sounded i think i did a pretty brave job but but that's just me i don't know you you you were very brave very like thank you queen of constantinople over there oh my god that's so nice of you to say thank you you're welcome so uh where were we so they decided they're going to create very strong chains and they're going to get their strongest ox and they're going to drag the Adonk from one leg to the next.

Okay. And to get him out, this was their plan. So this is us with our pitchforks again. Oh no. Doing another breakdown of our plan. And so it's like, okay, we've got all the tools. We've got the oxen ready. We've got the chains ready.

But how do we get the Adonk out of the water to put the chains on him? Put the chains on. So they get this one fair maiden who is not the queen of Constantinople, by the way. A different fair maiden. Okay. And actually, I think she was a farmer's daughter. Oh, of course she was. Sure.

And they had her just go stand by the water and just call for the Adonk. Because as- Just like flirt it stand by the water and just call for the adonk because as just like flirt it out of the water literally one website said like just like any common man the adonk was weak to women or something it was awful so whatever who wrote ew okay i the queen who knows everything about him i guess so so the fair maiden uh calls out to him and apparently he just only needed to hear his name once came right out here i am then she started singing him a lullaby sure and he fell asleep with his head in her lap which that's really sweet

that's very sweet and makes the rest of it very sad but also can you imagine being someone who's just standing by the water and you don't know the size or the temperament of this creature you do you have heard your whole life that this thing is pretty bad and causes floods and all this stuff but you should go out there by yourself and call for him and let him crawl into your lap you're actually the bait basically 100 you're the bait um so he falls asleep in her lap while he's sleeping the men who were hiding nearby lock up all lock them up in these chains and attach them to the oxen and in the process of the a donk getting dragged by the a donk getting dragged by the oxen he wakes up from the movement and he freaks out and he crushes the

maiden oh literally because he was on her so when he started freaking out he killed her no he fights against the chains and apparently the oxen are holding on for dear life to not get dragged in the water by this thing as it tries to run away oh my god so now it's a real tug of war of like are the oxen gonna drag him to the lake or is the adonk gonna drag the oxen into the water with him when he's escaping this happened in oregon trail at one point like where the oxen had to pull the drunk out of the water for the river it had to pull me all the way to california at the very least. Just as difficult of a task, yes. Right, right, right. And so here's the thing, though.

So apparently the oxen were trying so hard and fighting so hard against the Adonk pulling on the chains. They strained so hard that one of the oxen's eyes popped out. Oh, what? And apparently the tears that came out of his eye socket allegedly created pool he god year each which means the pool of the oxen's eye so that's this fuck i like to think if we were tourists and went to go visit the pool of the ox's eye we'd have to read that on a plaque somewhere the like oh these are the tears of an ox's eye socket like hold on a minute we got to explain this story real quick so yeah wait what so apparently he

and then with one eye keeps chugging along and eventually the thing the oxen win and drag him into another lake and release the adonk only one eye casualty only one eye and then also dragging a monster with a missing eye clearly he uh survived and was seen again later because when the men who were there tried bragging about that experience someone said like oh well who was stronger were the men stronger were the ox stronger for like dragging the odonk away i again assume that these maybe they're talking to the king from the previous story oh my god these guys yeah and the king just bragged about how he was destined to kill the Adonk. And then these men were like, actually, we pulled him and we were stronger than Ox. We were stronger than Oxen. Yeah.

Well, this is where I tell you that apparently the Adonk at one time in his life spoke to people. Oh, sure. Wow. Because as the men were bragging that they were stronger than the oxen i guess the donk just like sticks his head through the window and has something to say because when asked about it the donk says quote the men uh he says had it not been for the oxen pulling the donk had never left the pool so So he was saying like, no, no, the ox are stronger than you. The oxen are stronger than you.

Yeah, no shit, everybody. Anyway, apparently he speaks and comes in with the real hard hitters and likes to call people out. And he's like, no, men, you were not stronger than the oxen. Nice try. Anyway, that's the story of the Adonk.

I'm just so wildly befuddled by this whole story thank you because i was trying to read old english to get through this and old so that's the adonk and then real quick i am going to also tell you about the lavellan okay which is a northern scottish folklore And it's also got several names, including the Lomalen, Lomalen. Lomalen, by the way, that's so interesting. Maybe that's why Google was like, did you mean Lomalen? Did you mean a funk? Because for a funk, it had a bunch of different weird ways of spelling it.

And one of them actually translated to beaver, which it said to look like. Lomalen has a bunch of names and one of them also is Scottish Gaelic for water shrew which is what it's said to look like. Oh. Huh. Wow that's weird. Yeah and they're both technically kind of like rodent adjacent like a beaver and a water shrew. Yeah. Kind of fall into a some similar category yeah so the livellon is a rodent or shrew like cryptid which does sound very tizzy wizzy does small but fast furry bright eyes and lives in marshes and deep parts of the river which the tizzy wizzy was said to be a rodent like small but fast furry bright eyes and live in underwater because they like to

swim right so i think the livellon so far sounds more like the tizzy wizzy versus the afonk but yeah at least sounds like just as friendly and not as mean as this other one right not just killing people and every story pulling eyes out and stuff so um one source though did call the lovellen a giant vampire shrew oh okay because there are rumors that it is a blood sucker with a venomous bite oh sure uh it's also known to be fatally poisonous from its toxic breath okay i spoke too soon about how friendly this thing was well i don't think this one actively kills anybody i think it's just it's like me in the morning its breath is so bad you kind of want to die you know that i can relate to yes if you're with them like them i'm just kidding i do have stinky breath in the morning i don't know what everybody does

i feel like mine is out of this world I really every morning I wake up and I go who if I don't brush my teeth right now I'm grossed out by myself so uh known to be known to be fatally poisonous from their toxic breath apparently their breath can injure livestock up to a hundred feet away oh my god it reminds me of that spongebob episode where he thinks he's ugly, but he just stinks. Yep, yep, yep. And like the whole movie theater leaves. I love that episode. So the Lavellan somewhere is just going,

I'm ugly and I'm proud. And he's just smelling like death. He's just like the squonk. But the squonk's not proud. He's just sad. He's just lonely all the time. So if you were to interact with a livellan, and you're within 100 feet away at the very least,

and this breath could get you, there are certain ways to cure yourself. And these were things that farmers allegedly did to their livestock to cure them if they were exposed. Okay. There's two ways. You first of all have to find, hunt, and kill a Lavellan. So good luck.

Oh. And boil its head. Oh. Boil it in water and then have the livestock, or you if you've been exposed, you have to drink the water that the boiled boiled head has been in don't do that the other thing is apparently in this folklore a lot of farmers uh over the years would preserve the skin of a lavellan once they had found and hunted one okay they would preserve the skin they would boil that in the water and then you'd have to drink the water oh god so its head or just its skin in general is what you would have to boil in water

and then drink it to cure yourself from its toxic breath that will kill you but then also poison yourself in the process yeah like drinking that animal fda approved no certainly not um so that was kind of the whole thing but here's reasons for why the livellan lore even exists like why why did farmers think that livellans were going after their livestock because of their breath like it really feels kind of like a ghost of like oh we can't see it but it's killing our livestock yeah so uh we think the livellan lore, since it was also deadly and in the water, the two main reasons for why the Lavellan lore exists is because parents at the time were trying to keep their kids from getting in water when they weren't around. And it would also explain random diseases of livestock that we didn't know about yet. diseases of livestock that we didn't know about yet. So it would just keep people.

And the other thing is it would just keep people away from water shrews in general, because apparently water shoes actually did have toxic saliva. So if they bit you, you actually could die from hitting. Oh my gosh. And so that the toxic saliva is probably where that, that idea of it having a venomous bite or having the fatal breath comes from oh geez in 1828 there was a book called the history of british animals and the

were actually not just uh likely to be water shrews but the closest current animal we know of uh is a stoat which basically looks like a ferret oh okay um they were and apparently stoats uh at the time which might have not been people might not have known the name of a stoat they probably just saw one and just said oh that's a livellan but it could have been a stoat because at the time stoats quote exuded some kind of foul matter that was toxic to animals oh so so stoats could have actually been killing the livestock oh my god okay so there was really like basis in that part yeah so uh but interesting because that means people might have actually been hunting stoats and then drinking their head water yike head what gross well fun fact there was a shrew-like creature similar to the vellon

millions of years ago that was called this is like the scientific name uh dino galerics conig swaldi sure sure sure sure sure sure dino or dino galerics translates to a terror shrew and apparently these shrews again they create they were millions of years ago but they are called the terror shrew because they really were giant-sized ancestors to today's hedgehog or today's moon rat which sounds like why hedgehog and tizzyizzy Wizzy, when I typed in Tizzy Wizzy, Google was like, did you mean Lavellin? That is so weird. Yep, yep, yep, yep. And so it used to be, there used to be a giant sized rat,

which makes me think of the R-O-U-S's from Princess Bride. Yes! The rats of unusual size. Oh my gosh. So it cannot be confirmed, but I'd like to think that the rats of unusual size were inspired by lovellens or these giant terror shrews and what also might have been inspired by these giant terror shrews is the 1959 horror movie the killer shrews and the monsters were

giant mutant shrews what i've never even heard of that Well, here's a fun fact for you, because I saved the link, and I'd like you to go look at 40 seconds. I would love nothing more. So there was this horror movie, The Killer Shrews, in 1959. And because at the time, and even today, I don't know how you would train shrews, and then also find them of massive size that they could act in a horror movie the way that they did it back in 1959 the shrews were actually dogs with masks on their face no and so the dog actors would just run around and not even attack anybody it was just they clearly took video of like a dog running around in the yard.

Oh my God. So I'm going to send you a link to it on YouTube. And if you go to four minutes and 20 seconds, I think there should be a scene of the dogs, the shrews running around and attacking in the woods where they're just running around and they're clearly dogs. Oh my God. Oh God, it's a horrible sound.

I think that was probably it. The scenes were not that long. Look at them running. I'm telling you. Oh my God. And like, so by the way, those are, I sent you the link that was called 1959, like the killer shrews, all the shrew scenes.

And in a, like an hour long movie, there's five minutes of screen time with these shrews. Half of them were apparently, if there were any closeups where you don't see its whole body, half of them were just hand puppets in the frame. Yeah. And then there was one where there was like a little hole in the fence and you just saw like teeth that were clearly just being manipulated by somebody. Yeah, so that was, those were hand puppets. And then the other half were dogs running around.

And that's just, it was just, that means there's only two and a half minutes of the shrews running around in this horror movie. Can we talk about how in the description it says spoilers? in this can we talk about how in the description it says spoilers so don't watch it if you feel like you need to keep you know the surprise the suspense spoilers the shrews show up yeah spoilers these are dogs big dogs but so anyway that was my fun fact for the day that there was this also because in the 1959 like a horror movie really all you had to do was see something that didn't look human and just call it in a lot of screaming yeah yeah i wonder whoever watched that in the 50s and actually lost sleep you know i wonder yeah i wonder if anybody like had a fear of shrews yeah after this film i can never see a shrew again i'll lose my mind yeah

i mean not that they look anything like shrews, but you know. It literally looks like, I don't know, like black labs with a mask. Like Halloween costumes on. Yeah. Anyway, but that is the funk and the Lavellan. That was such a wild, twisty, turny, fun story. It was funky. It was goofy. It was definitely funky.

And I feel like I got to hear you make some new sounds out of your mouth that I never heard. Thank you. Yeah. Yeah. I don't know where that came from, but I loved it. Thank you. So I have a story for you today. And, you know, last two episodes, I covered the Girl Scout murders. Yeah, those were rough. Those were very

rough um and this one i just want to warn you is rough too but uh we'll we'll get there we'll get there you know what they're all rough it's so hard for me to give a scale of like how bad any true crime story is um and it doesn't feel quite right but um this one's a little different so you'll see why i don't want to spoil spoilers not your everyday it's not your everyday lavellan situation not your you know what and what really is uh is what i want to ask you ask the queen she'll know ask the queen well m surprise i've been the queen this whole time what Don't you always wonder why I looked like such a fair maiden? Oh, you know,

I just chalked that up to good genes. I don't know. Yeah, you just thought I was the farmer's daughter, but really, I was the queen this whole time. Oh my God,

I'm scared to ask what that makes me. Anyway. I have no idea. I'm that stupid spotted snake, I bet. You pick another letter from that.

Yeah, you could be the adder snake. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'll stick with my stupid snake. I bet. You pick another letter from that. Yeah, you could be the adder snake. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'll stick with my tizzy whizzy T. I'm happy there. Okay, yeah, you can stay the T. I'm right next to you there with the little Q. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Okay, so I'm going to tell you today the story of Lisa McVeigh. Have you heard about this before? Mm-mm. Okay, I had heard of it, and I knew bare bones details, but I did not know the whole story. And it is a roller coaster. Okay. This is maybe one of my favorite stories. It's pretty, it's like a dark horse.

Like I didn't see this coming, but it's a great one. If you didn't see it coming, fucking none of us did. Well, Lisa McVeigh, let's get into it. She was born March 1967 in Tampa, Florida, and she goes through a freaking horrible, horrible time. So we're just going to start at the beginning. horrible time. So we're just going to start at the beginning. Lisa and her siblings suffered a childhood of physical abuse at the hands of their mother, who suffered from alcoholism and addiction and pretty frequently called Lisa unlovable. So good start. Great. Yeah. And that's just like the easiest part of this whole story. So yeah. It starts bad, but it just gets worse.

So at age 14, Lisa went to live with her grandmother and grandmother's boyfriend, whose name was Morris. And Morris pretty quickly began molesting Lisa to the full knowledge of her grandmother. Oh!

Oh! Yeah. Wow. to the full knowledge of her grandmother oh oh yeah wow who who kind of just condoned this and there's so many stories like that too it's yeah it's very dark and you know i want to also say there was um a movie i watched on uh discovery of course uh Discovery Plus, and it's called Believe Me, The Abduction of Lisa McVeigh. And it's really hard to watch because it's sort of a reenactment of the whole story. So it's really hard to watch. And I will say at the beginning, I was like, this feels a little bit like Hallmark-y, like really kind of, but I think they do a pretty good job of covering this so if you're interested in seeing it kind of act like you know more visually I would check that out but it's very tough to watch because basically she shows up at her grandma's house and her

grandma's like hey there's just some things you have to do to like keep you know to like earn your keep here basically like it's yeah really gross um really really horrific so so often her grandmother watched her grandmother knew about this uh did nothing and lisa also suffered frequent beatings in the household her grandmother's boyfriend morris pulled lisa out of school and forced her to work and bring in money so he wouldn't have to and uh so she started working at a local donut shop okay and she loved her job uh she actually called the donut shop her safe house uh the place to get away from everything so it's like work was her only place where she could feel like safe and herself um and just thinking like age 14 just the thought is just wild to me um

lisa's sister laurie recalls in an interview once visiting lisa and at bedtime finding a gun hidden under lisa's pillow and lisa had gotten this gun because she said, if Morris touches you, then I'm going to kill him. And she said that to her grandma? What's that? To her sister who was visiting. To her sister. Oh, okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

So her sister was visiting and was staying the night and was like, what the hell is this gun? And she was like, well, he does stuff and if he does it to you, I'm going to kill him. Okay. Got it. When she was 17, big yikes morris told her he wanted to have a baby with her oh oh my god yeah it's it's yep it's horrific um and feeling that she was trapped she felt like damaged goods that's a quote. She decided she did not want to live any longer. And so she at age 17 wrote a suicide note and then worked a double shift at the donut shop. And she

got on her bike and started to head home with this kind of feeling that she would be free really soon. And this is something that's actually common among people who um are planning to yeah suicide this like yeah feeling of like lightness or feeling this happy like happiness that uh they'll have peace soon there's a that's a maybe this is a good psa then because they're for if you see something say something if you notice something be you know don't trust your gut because they're it's apparently a like a a common experience so like if someone seems really depressed and uh really sad most of the time then all of a sudden they're having a few really good days and if they if you know that they've had history with ideation before. Their like last few days are like particularly happy, but it's because they have maybe a plan

or something like that. They see a way out maybe. That's definitely, that's a great PSA to have. And if you need more resources, you can go to the suicidepreventionlifeline.org or call 1-800-273-8255. Just always a good PSA to throw out there when we talk about this topic. Yes. So yes, thank you for saying that. So yes, she had this kind of sense of lightness that she was finally escaping this horrid,

hellish situation. She's on her way home 2 a.m this just and this is like i mean talk about a hallmark movie like i just feel like the creators of the who who made the um kind of reenactment film of this just like had no choice but to make it almost a hallmark movie because the story is not hallmark lifetime so lifetime i keep saying hallmark like it's a christmas film they feel that they feel the same to me for some reason. Yeah, they're both kind of that like cheesy, a little bit corny. Yeah. So on her way home at 2 a.m., Lisa notices, this is November 3rd, 1984,

notices that the street she was on was badly lit and there was a car stopped in the middle of a nearby church parking lot, which seemed odd. And this is the way she goes home regularly so like she again like psa if you're something if your body is like something's off or wrong you know trust your gut listen to it yeah yeah uh so little did she know lurking in the shadows was a serial killer what yeah i was really stumbled upon. That's a very interesting coincidence. Rageous. It's outrageous. Bobby Joe Long. Like, it sounds like it's made up, right? Because it's just like, what are the odds that this would happen, you know? But it's true. So Bobby Joe

Long, he had left behind a trail of bodies in Tampa leading up to that night, plus as many as 50 surviving female rape victims in Miami, Florida. So he was at large right now. He was very active, very evil. And this guy, Bobby Joe Long, he had been born in 1953, and he had married his high school girlfriend in 1974 but divorced later and it said that he developed a violent resentment and hatred toward women as part of this breakup and as he moved through tampa in the night unsolved murder cases piled up his mo was to target sex workers and other vulnerable young women whom he would lure into his car and then strangle elsewhere so it feels a little is that a was that bundy's move to drag them into the car right but he would

get them in the trunk or something yeah he would do uh like oh my arm is broken can you help me carry this into my car can you help me with groceries? Like that kind of like luring people who let their guard down. Right. Right. Yeah. And so he I mean, he did something similar. He lured people into his car basically by, you know, asking for whatever he if he was going to street corner and meeting up with sex workers, he would be like somebody come into my car. And then the person who got in the car ended up being one of his victims very scary um and the authorities were

trying to like nail this guy down but they could only link the crimes by the red carpet fibers they found on every victim which they assumed to be from the interior of the car oh so that was like the only thread they could find. Pun not intended there. I heard it. I heard it. All the cases. And there was no DNA evidence at the time that they could track. So investigators had very little to go on.

And the DNA method used in crime investigations, and we've talked about this before, but was discovered in 1984 uh the same year as lisa's abduction actually so this year that uh that the story takes place they did you know discover how to track dna trace dna but um as we've talked about before uh with the age-old forensic files this this uh method didn't become like popularized or like used regularly for a few years. So at first bodies were showing up every four to six weeks, but then escalated to every seven to ten days he would have another victim. And an investigator said it's a sign of personal deterioration when serial killers move this way. Quote, they increase their killings as their lives begin to fall apart. Oh, which is for some reason that I don't know why that shocks me, because I feel like that makes sense. So like, yeah, if you've got to like get I feel like serial killers, not I don't know.

But I would imagine that like if you're someone who's okay with hurting someone it would happen more often when you need an outlet right yeah yeah yeah I think it does make sense um yeah an outlet or a way to like feel not to be like pretending I'm a psychiatrist or something but like a way to feel control over a situation like if you're unraveling and then you like yeah yeah i mean i like i it's the first time i'm hearing it that way and for some reason it surprises me but it it really does make a lot of sense it makes total sense yeah and i don't think i've ever heard it put that way either but it's that's a really interesting i don't know assessment um so with no leads

investigators extended their search to miami where they looked into a series of unsolved rape cases. Like I said, as many as 50 unsolved rape cases from this guy alone in Miami long would respond to classified ads. So like furniture sales, that kind of thing. And ask whether any ask whether anyone this is has Ted bunny written all over it ask whether anyone else would be home to help him load up the furniture whoa and sometimes women would say sorry no there's nobody here to help you do that uh and so now he would know that the victim was home alone and didn't have a man around um and so he would gain entry to the house say oh that's fine i'll come pick it up anyway uh then rape the person rob them and investigators would compare the clothes of the rape victims to the bodies of the tampa murder victims and that's when they noticed this red carpet fiber damn matching to and you know what's wild is like what if getting out of florida that's where he left, right?

He got out of Florida and all of a sudden this was happening somewhere else. No. So it started or the rapes were in Miami and then Tampa was where the murders were taking place. Gotcha. Gotcha. Gotcha. Gotcha. At any point, he could have just gotten a new car and it would have they would have lost their one

isn't that freaky like it all he had to do was just do all of the stuff in different cars and they would have never been traced to each other that's so true that reminds me of the night stalker episode where like every little thing just went the wrong way for investigators where like yeah he would just happen to switch up his car or his appointment appointment at the dentist or whatever it may be guessing in a really really insidious way yes yes yes yes yes um so this is how they were kind of connecting all these cases um with the through line of miami to tamp the rape, the murder. And so evidence was finally coming together, but they still had no leads until Lisa. So as she biked down that road and felt like

something was off, Long yanked Lisa off her bike, put a gun to her left temple, and she screamed, but was told if she didn't stop she'd be killed he dragged her back to his car where she also saw a large hunting knife inside and he forced her to strip down and said to show him a good time yeah oh my god okay yeah this girl just cannot get a break and he said if he liked it uh he'd let her go oh my god yeah it's sick oh my god oh my god lisa remembers thinking god just don't let him kill me um just fucking terrifying um she said i had a new sense of wanting to survive. I had to reach down deep in my soul. I would do whatever it took to survive.

Uh, basically she was no longer a teenager willing to die. She was planning to fight for her life. Wow. I feel like that's, I mean, I know that's not the case for everybody, but there have been a lot of stories of people who, um, if they've survived in a, in a way where they had jumped off of something, a lot of them have reported back that after they had jumped, part of them was thinking, I didn't want. Wow. That's a frightening thought. I can't.

And I know that's not the case for everybody. And I know there's a lot of nuance. A lot of nuance. Of course. But I have heard that before of people like. Of survivors who say that. Right. Survivors like with an intent or with a plan and something gets in the way or they're in the middle of it and then realize, oh, never mind.

So interesting that I've never actually heard one of your stories bring that up. So it's just interesting. I feel like this does touch on a lot of things that don't usually come up um which is really interesting and like I mean again just like the the lifetime movie aspect of like oh I'm planning to take my own life and then like getting abducted that night like it's just so wild um so well it just gets worse before it gets better. But he bound Lisa's wrists and ankles and blindfolded her. And as he put the blindfold on, Lisa purposefully tensed her jaw as tight as she could so that when she relaxed, the blindfold would be a little bit loose on her face. Smart girl. So smart.

And so she would be able to see just a little crack out of her her blindfold. So on the road, Lisa kept track of everything possible. She had a slight view from her loose blindfold. So she counted red lights. She saw the word Magnum labeled on the dashboard of the car. She paid attention to smells and sounds. She could tell that the car needed an oil change by the way it rattled. She even mentally noted right and left turns, trying to figure out where she was being taken. Wow. Just like very brave. So brave and so smart.

And like, I say smart without trying to insult other people who wouldn't be able to. No, of course. I'm thinking if it were me, I would be in such a freeze mode. I wouldn't be able no of course right i'm thinking if if it were me i would be in such a freeze mode i wouldn't even think about that i wouldn't imagine that you would that anybody would be able to yeah have the wherewithal to like count left turns i'm just impressed that she even thought because i would have absolutely gone into like blank mode yeah yeah absolutely yeah so just wow same here. And so once they stopped, he had Lisa get dressed. He let her up a flight of stairs and she counted the number of stairs.

So smart. No. And so once inside his apartment, Lisa noticed it smelled very new with a fresh coat of paint and inside um this is again disturbing he put Lisa in the shower and bathed her like he was playing out a romantic love affair that's a quote um and afterward he became abrasive and demanding uh Lisa remembers my abductor something triggered him to be brutal and attack me. And I kept thinking, I got to get out of this some way. Somehow I have to get out of this. What a badass. According to investigation discovery report, Lisa had a tragic skill set gained from her lifelong abuse.

So you can kind of see that connection there as far as she was able to dissociate from her body and appear calm when obviously she wasn't. And she said, quote, I had to take all the abuse I had incurred when I was a child and just reach, this makes me want to cry, and just reach down one more time into the pit of my stomach and tap into those survival skills. Holy shit. Yeah. And so that's what she did. And throughout the night, as long repeatedly violated, assaulted and tormented her, Lisa focused on figuring him out in order to appease him. So she recognized her other abusers behavior in his behavior. And she knew kind of how to placate him. And she knew she had to remain collective, collected sorry uh or he would get upset and kill her and so she didn't want to freak out and like scare him into harming her and so she later said in an interview i figure i've been sexually abused for three years what's one more time but i'm also thinking if i make it out of this alive i will never let anyone do this to me again wow i mean wow i like i have no comment no comment lisa also gave him a false name

she said her name was carol and she told him this uh story that she had a sick father at home who depended on her as his sole living relative and caretaker it's not true but this is what she told him she so she's trying to basically like um get out yes get out for sure but like also kind of relate to his like maybe empathetic side or find out if there's a way to like connect with him um and so she told long her father wouldn't survive without her she needed to go give him his medicine and uh so this is she was just trying this angle basically eventually long ordered lisa to get some rest and she noticed that she was put on his bed which was a water bed so another thing to note and later long had the tv on and she heard a news report about a 17 year old being abducted off her bike so that was her wow so i think this is the moment

where for her it all started to feel real um so she burst into tears for the first time and uh kind of like she suspected uh long said long became agitated and said if she didn't calm down, he would be, quote, forced to kill her. So smart cookie once again. Lisa noticed the phrasing of this and realized he said he'd be forced to kill her, which which implied like maybe he didn't want to. This wasn't necessarily something he was looking forward to. Right. And so she thought, OK, there's a chance he doesn't want to do this. And so according to a psychologist regarding the case sometimes serial killers suddenly want to be nice

something inside them clicks and they kind of become like caretakers not in a real way but in like their mind they they see themselves yeah exactly they see themselves as like a merciful caretaker so lisa doubled down on appealing to his emotions she calmed down she talked about her father and she at one point convinced long to let her go to the bathroom alone with the door shut basically showing him how to treat her like a person and in the bathroom i mean this freaking girl i've like chills again she secretly wiped her hands everywhere she could to leave fingerprints. So fucking smart. I know.

I was like, damn, damn. So she put her fingers on the mirror, the walls under the toilet seat so that it wouldn't be cleaned. Like a place where like he probably wouldn't, you know, think to wipe off. Yeah. She wanted to tell police she had been there and um at least in the movie she made the point of even if i didn't make it out i was hoping that like i'd be the last victim and they would find these fingerprints and at least he would not be able to do this to anyone else so even more badass um she tossed her hair her hair clip with

with hair on it under the bed to a point where like um he wouldn't be able to notice it uh with the hopes that you know she could tell police later like check for my hair clip there yeah um and at one point long had lisa touch and feel his face as like this like sick sort of intimate moment like okay but lisa used the opportunity to kind of try and memorize his features because she couldn't really see him because of the blindfold so she noted that he had small ears was clean uh with a short mustache and had like pock marks like acne scars and eventually long asked her what am i gonna do with you now and acting along lisa told him she

knew he was a nice person he never meant to her. She said she promised to never tell anyone how they met and she could actually be his girlfriend and take care of him. Yeah. And Long said he couldn't, quote, keep her and put Lisa back in his car. And she was sure she was on her way to be killed. They stopped in an ATM and a gas station. And he told her, if you try to run, I'm going to kill the clerk inside the gas station. So she stayed in the car to protect the clerk at the gas station that she believed he would do it. And he probably would have. And so she still has this blindfold on. So she knows that they are getting on the interstate because of the sound of the wind and the rattling of the car.

So even though she's like preparing to be killed, she's still like noting every detail of where they're going. He took her out in the rear parking lot of an eyeglass store and he told her, I want you to stay there for five minutes. And he also said, tell your father he's the reason I didn't kill you and then he drove away and left whoa right like whoa what the fuck what the fuck so afraid this was some sort of test because she's still blindfolded like of course you would be still petrified probably stood there for an hour. Yeah, she stood there for a long time. I don't know how long.

But she stayed there, quote, like a good girl, according to her. And eventually she started to feel like a sitting duck waiting to be hunted. That's another quote. And so she started running. She ran until she couldn't anymore, afraid that, like, he would change his mind and come back to try and find her and kill her. And so when she finally got home, of course, her fucking nightmare is not over because Morris opens the door and immediately is like, where the fuck have you been? Began beating her, interrogating her, demanding to know why she was cheating on him. Oh my God. And like has no idea what he's like, how particularly trickering that is in this moment.

Right? Well, she's saying I've been abducted and they're like, bullshit. You were out. You know what I mean? So they knew what they were doing. And they absolutely don't believe her. They absolutely don't believe her. They think she's been out with like some quote boy.

believe her they absolutely don't believe her they think she's been out with like some quote boy uh and that's why the movie version is called believe me because she's like why won't anyone believe me and i think that might be like the hardest part for me watching this is just like when when the people are like okay likely story and it's like oh how just infuriating and like demoralizing could that be that you survived this horrible thing and then like nobody fucking believes you it's it's horrible it's hard to watch um so her grandmother calls the police station to cancel the missing persons report and they were like oh i'm glad she's home safe and you know like with this kind of trope of like runaway teens from troubled homes. And of course,

they're like, oh, yeah, she just ran away and she's home now. And they're like, OK, so she seems fine. And the grandma says on the phone, oh, she's telling some she's making up some stupid story about being kidnapped. And the police are like, well, if she's saying that, then we have to talk to her because like if she's making these claims as a minor, then we have to talk to her. And she's like, what? No, you don't need to talk to her. And they're like, we have to talk to her because like if she's making these claims as a minor then we have to talk to her and she's like what no you don't need to talk to her and they're like we have to talk to her so at this the grandmother makes me so mad it's like how could you whatever okay um at the station a female detective questioned lisa very dismissively like didn't believe her story also okay gross especially that it's a woman yeah yeah and like i don't know how much of the um movie version is you know dramatized but they're

just watching that conversation where they're like we're all girls here you can tell us what you were really doing what you were really up to like oh my god seeing a boy and you know it's like um it's very infuriating to watch and she said lisa was just too calm to be telling the truth about such a horrible story uh and lisa remembers no one's ever heard of fucking trauma before i guess not and uh lisa remembers hearing investigators outside the door laughing so that's the worst thing ever yeah i would just get up and leave at that point i'd be like i'm clearly not being taken seriously it's it's horrible and so she told them to bring in someone more intelligent good and then she shut down um she said she was calm when she was telling her story because she knew she had to catch long and it's like the same

thing she was doing when she was under you know his uh abduction like trying to remain calm to like to like control the situation and not you know yeah lose control and so yeah she said about his other victims who didn't escape and who had been killed she said i'm their voice now so she was like this is my job i need to do this this isn't like i don't have the space to freak out and have an emotional breakdown right now what a fucking woman oh my god i know i know it's unbelievable so a new detective who specialized in sex crimes arrived and showed Lisa a photo of his daughter and said, hey, I have a daughter, you know, around your age. There is nothing I wouldn't do to protect her. And now I'm going to do the same for you.

Like to be like, I want you to trust me. So finally she broke down. She started crying. She finally felt like somebody was listening. And she actually said someone she felt like someone cared for the not just like for the first time in this police station but the for the first time in her life um i'm so sad i know it's especially a man to be the one to listen and not like i'm not trying to be that person but one would assume you can feel safer to have these discussions and be believed by a woman or at least you should be like at least

like you have that bond but like for the woman to basically laugh at you and for the man to be like you can trust me when she's never been able to trust a man yeah like what a weird dynamic i know it's very interesting and i i think there's an element to it of like just a father figure because yeah um you know he's like i have a daughter you're around your age and like you know i want to take care of her and i'm going to take care of you and like thankfully he actually meant it this wasn't like uh you know another trap or anything like that um and so she started oh it's just very unexpected yeah it is it's um it's it's disturbing because you think once you get to the police station with your story and you're like, hey, I've been abducted.

Yeah. The very least they'll believe you. But yeah. Nope. And so she starts crying. She finally feels like someone's listening and caring for her. She tells the detective everything she knew and he was astounded like we were by her recall. And he was astounded like we were by her recall. And it was clear Lisa was after this guy. And he could tell she wanted revenge as she should. And so he was like, we're going to take this a step further. And in the movie, there's a while and I don't know, again, how much of this is dramatized or real.

But there's a while where they don't make the connection that her abductor is the same guy that they're hunting. So they're hunting the serial killer on the side. But like he doesn't leave his victims alive. So there's not there's not that connection made until later when he goes, wait a second, there's a possibility these could be the same guy. And everyone's like well no because he kills his victims and he's like i know but this might be just the one that got away um i mean especially if she's telling him like the guy even said he wanted to kill me but yeah like so there's that i don't know yeah he that yeah exactly so there was no doubt uh in this guy's mind that like there was a connection there.

And so what he did was he sent her clothes to D.C. to be analyzed and forensics found the same red carpet fibers on her clothes as the other victims. And he thought, bingo. Yeah, this is the same person. So desperate to catch this guy, 50 investigators all went out in one night searching everywhere they could. They decided to patrol the red light district and speak to some women there. And along came Long in his car, which Lisa had described so vividly. And even his face matched the description she'd given just from feeling his face. She'd never actually seen it. Right. And so they they tailed him home and surveyed his apartment for 72 hours while obtaining warrants and gathering evidence. And eventually they were able to arrest him at a Tampa movie theater. Wow. Yeah.

So in the investigation. Oh, sorry. In the interrogation, Long struck detectives as the, quote, typical Southern gentleman. Ew. Yeah, forget it. Like he's clearly playing some like trope to try and win people over. And he seemed to know that he was like pretty much nailed down for Lisa's abduction. But he didn't realize at the time that they had already connected him to all the other killings

and rapes. So he thought like, oh, this is just about Lisa. And so he was trying to like play up like, oh, you know, it's just a one time thing. But he didn't realize at the time they had him connected to all of these other crimes. So in an interview, Long smiled as if pleased with himself uh and said of his killings quote it was like a b c d i'd pull over they'd get in i'd drive a little ways stop pull a knife a gun whatever tie him up take him out and that would be it end quote ew yeah like he's sick, sick fuck. As far as Lisa's case, he sounded pragmatic and almost amused, which is so gross. And he said it was pretty easy to tell from the very minute that I grabbed Lisa that she wasn't like the others. And that's probably the reason she's still alive, walking and talking today. And I understand that she'd love to see me in the electric chair and I can't blame her.

Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Fucker. Oh, my God. So on September 24th, 1985, Long pled guilty to eight murders and Lisa's abduction and rape. He is suspected of many more rapes and killings. Yeah. and rape. He is suspected of many more rapes and killings. Bobby Joe Long was executed by lethal injection on May 29th, 2019. So quite recently. And Lisa, who was present at the

execution, said the following words. Let me hope that I can get through this. Okay. let me um hope that i can get through this okay bobby joe long hear me loud and clear hear my roaring hear my roaring voice may god have mercy on your soul long overdue and then she broke down into tears and thanked him saying the reason why i say thank you now is that i have forgiven you for what you have done to me had i not forgiven you i might as well be in my own prison without walls whoa oh chills oh my gosh uh bizarrely there was a group of about a dozen protesters at long's execution um but it was bizarre because they weren't protesting the death penalty as you know at these cases there are people understandably who are there to say like you know yeah no death penalty um which i understand but they were defending him as an individual and saying like he didn't do it or what he's innocent i wonder if it was that that

that mental the that episode you did about like people like you think he had fans oh i'm trying to get to you know i don't know that's a great point because i mean he was in prison long enough to probably develop some sort of relationships with people because he wasn't executed until 2019 and he went to prison in 1985 so yeah maybe he had like that's a great point maybe he had like made connections with people outside who were on his side or or thought he could be you know redeemed in some way right um wild so anyway there are these people protesting um and long's daughter was actually present and she was holding vigil and long's attorney said he was a loving father up until today and his family has been here to support him. They're devastated by this, which I feel like, of course, you're devastated.

Of course, you're devastated. I don't blame you for being devastated. But also like he was a loving father. When? When? In the middle of killing everyone? Yeah. Yikes.

I mean, listen, I don't know what it's like and i don't know how you would be able to reconcile your father finding out they did he did stuff like this so you know i guess i just don't know what that experience is like but sure he didn't seem like a very loving person from my perspective right right right right so the sister of another victim, her name was Tammy Caspi, knew Long's ex-wife and said, she asked me to tell everybody that she's very sorry for everybody's losses. Obviously, she has no part of that. She is a victim as well. her grandmother for permission to get lisa into trauma counseling and of course morris picked up the phone and was like no you can't put her in counseling my god and so in the movie version of this the detective talks to her and says like your dad said he doesn't want to like approve this and she just like breaks down and she's like he's not my dad and uh he finds this like obviously very odd and like again he works in sex crime so i'm sure he

has some sort of sense but so he presses her further and is like is like what's going on at home and this is when she kind of breaks down and it's like i need to tell you what my home life is like yeah so thankfully, Morris is arrested. Lisa did feel that her grandmother should have been held equally accountable as do I. Yeah. Me too. Lisa ended up living in a runaway center and then moving in with relatives who treated her well. And she said they were the only people who ever showed me love.

And after that, there was no holding me back. And it's like, it's just such a tragic story as far i mean you know obviously it's very redeeming but also it's just sad that like all she needed was just safety and love and like so many kids don't get that the bare minimum you know um it's obviously much bigger than that but But, you know, it's just scary. So she eventually married and she had a daughter of her own. She ended up getting a divorce, but she worked for Parks and Recreation. And at one point she called in an office break in and officers commented on how calm and in charge she was how her demeanor was like just very uh she's a good leader in that way under crisis um and so after this event she ultimately became a police officer who specialized in sex and child abuse cases wow i know this really i see now what you meant by like from beginning to end this feels like written yes it feels scripted almost because it's just so bonkers yeah so i don't think the people

who made the movie really had a choice because like they weren't even making up the story it was just like this is what happened what a full what a full circle yes what a redemption you know yeah um and she also this was very touching to me uh she became a school resource officer where she shares her story as a motivational speaker um aiming to teach children to notice danger and self-advocate which is just the coolest thing um and she said in a more recent interview i've been in the hillsbury i've been in the hillsborough county sheriff's office for 17 years and a school resource officer for seven years i'm at a middle school now they know i'm mama bear nobody messes with my kids and my kids know that oh i know so nisa lisa noland formerly mVeigh, now Lisa Noland, also says, I know not on my watch will I let any child get hurt.

And if they do, I'm going to be their voice and I'm going to be their advocate. I know. Honestly, it's just one of those stories where you're like, people like this, I think, were put on the planet to just really change people's lives and like make a make a difference she needs a hug she deserves like a thousand hugs a day she deserves just all happiness and light and love according to lisa's sister lisa is happy and vibrant she sticks up for herself and she sticks up for other women and recalling the fateful night of her escape lisa said in another interview when he released me and drove off i took off my blindfold and saw this amazing oak tree. I had wanted to die before and now I wanted to live.

I got a second chance at life. Whoa. So Lisa has a daughter and a granddaughter, which is really powerful. At the end of yet another interview, she smiles, proud of her role as provider and protector for other women and children. And she says, life's good oh yeah and um you know watching the uh the movie version of this they actually have lisa at the end um they do like a little like lisa mcveigh became a you know officer and sex crimes and blah blah and they have her standing there which is really really cool just to like see that she was she like basically approved this message of this

movie being made because i'm like i wanted to make sure this is something that like was telling her story well you know and so it was cool to see that she was like clearly involved um but they have the scene where she's under this oak tree and she takes a blindfold off and like, they also show her, you know, they put her in the car and they say like, um, and she says, you know, there's three red lights turn left here. steps the carpet was this color um in the bathroom she said like there were shoes that had uh like a little kangaroo on them like she just noticed all these little details um that and that was how they were able to nail this fucking bastard who had like dozens of more than that so many victims under his belt already um and she was able to bring him to justice. So it's just a really powerful story. I don't think I've, not just in your stories, I think in ever, I don't think I've ever been so impressed with somebody. No, true. And I think I wanted to bring a redemption story

this week after, you know, some of the horrible stuff we've talked about. Obviously, still very horrible, but still horrible. At least there's a win at the end silver lining yeah exactly exactly um and just you know at the end too they had little updates and it said um at the end of the movie it said she is still close with the officer who believed her i know that's very that's that part got me that's, that part got me. That's good. That really was just very validating and like happy. And then, um, yeah, she, she works in this, uh, in, you know, helping victims like her. And I guess what I bet, I bet you, she believes people. I bet you, she believes their stories. I bet she believes people. That's a, that's a great way to end it. I bet she believes people. So that is wow well done christine and thank you and you know what you're it's so wild like just the things it touched on like the you know psa about just like suicidal ideation and like that kind of stuff and it went

from that to an abduction to like trust your gut and being aware of everything around you if you can yeah exactly and then believing people and then believing a story and like abusers being gas gaslighting the police it's a whole thing is just like it it's a uh it's certainly a grabby story yes very grabbing and uh yeah so that's why it's probably one of my faves a a contender i didn't see coming wow good job christine well thank you so much um i'm glad we got through another disturbing tale i know well luckily the thunderstorm was able to keep us from having to discuss horrible things last time but for one more day yeah we're gonna keep doing it we're always brought back do you have any more storms coming up so actually yeah

like today and so i was actually going to mention that at the beginning is that like why i got an alert from our security system being like there is a severe thunderstorm warning in your area security system tells you the weather well no but i think it's because like we keep like people keep losing power so they were like just to be prepared in case your power goes out again and i was like no of all days so yeah i guess um we should probably wrap this bad boy up and do a little patreon aftermath so that when the lights go out it can be a patreon exclusive in case your zoom shuts down or something yeah oh my god yeah because the wi-fi goes down when the internet goes down oh gosh so we gotta we gotta hustle okay well hustle and bustle we got a boogie and that's why we drink