And That's Why We Drink - E307 Secret Krampus and Creepy Cake

Episode Date: December 25, 2022

Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays! Episode 307 is our official holiday episode where Em is bringing us a smorgasbord of creepy Christmas lore with Frau Perchta (Krampus's gal pal), Mari Lwyd, and Hans Trapp (a Christmas Scarecrow). Then Christine covers the brutal and tragic case of the murders of Ed and Minnie Maurin right before their own holiday party. And tune in for Christine's AP Music Theory class confessions... and that's why we drink!We're going back on tour! If you need last minute holiday gift ideas, get that special someone tickets to a show near you! andthatswhywedrink.com/live

Christmas, Christmas, shh, I'm talking to myself, Christmas, Christmas, Christmas, hold on, Christmas time is, oh, I went into minor key. Christmas time is here. There we go. Now up an octave. That's the creepy one. Christmas time is here. That's how you sound like multiple children at once.

That's the Dolby surround sound my dad thought he purchased from Radio Shack. In 2002, yeah. Good times, good times. Hi, Em. Hi. I'm so glad you warmed up before you sang. Yeah. That part wasn't part of it. That was just the warm up exercises. Oh, you just again. Yeah. Just warming your instrument. Yeah. Yeah. You know what the most embarrassing moment of my life is, which is now why I drink. Oh, it's when in high school I took a class called AP Music Theory and I was just so bad at it. But like it's when in high school, I took a class called AP music theory. And I was just so

bad at it. But like, it was an easy class in the mornings. And our teacher would always bring us Starbucks, lemon, iced lemon pound cake. So I Yeah, so I signed up. But then we had the AP exam. And I don't even know why I took it. Like I didn't need it for anything. But my mom made me take all my AP exams. So I went in. And there were six of us in the class and my best friend was in the class. And then a couple of weeks before finals, before the AP test, she, I found out she and my boyfriend were sleeping together in the parking lot of the high school. And so she and I didn't speak anymore. And so we still sat next to each other in every class. And then at the AP exam, the test was that you had to read a bunch of notes on a piece of paper and sing them, like sing the notes, like sing the song.

And I cannot sing to save my life, as we all know. And I certainly can't just never hear a song and then look at sheet music and sing it. And so I was like, I'll go last because that means nobody else has to like hear me you know but it turns out when I went in everybody else had to stay in the room until everybody had completed the singing test so she was sitting there right like two feet from me and I had to just I made up an entire song I just went do do do do do do do do like I just made up an entire song and then it ended my teacher just kind of stared at me and was like, well, I guess that's it. Have a nice life y'all. And I never saw my friend, that friend again. So that was a very mortifying experience. I made up the notes. I, I got like a

two on the test. It was a terrible day. There's a lot to unpack with that anyway how are you i almost want us to sit in the silence of that but i'm i won't i won't allow it we can't sit in silence that's the one thing we're really bad at i there were so many spaces for commentary and i was like i'm just gonna let it i'm just gonna ride out i'm gonna let it simmer and play out as it needs to because that just casually throwing in the affairs, you know. And the worst. Oh, my God. She was also dating the other guy in our class.

So so he was pissed at her because she was sleeping with another dude. And I was pissed at her because she was sleeping with my boyfriend. And so he and I were both in the class with her. And then there were like two other people who were just collateral damage it was bad the two of you should have just gotten together and like written a song for music theory about how she's terrible i did think about that but i think that would have been a great way to put her on he was still pining for her though you know like still madly in love with her i i didn't even know people were sleeping together that's how ignorant i was i was like i don't think i was i know in high school i remember i went to like i mean i

guess my high school did have its own like sets of drama but i never really thought about maybe it's because i was like queer and closeted yeah maybe i was desperately in denial and hoping nobody else was thinking about that stuff. But I, yeah, sex was just never. It wasn't even like something I really thought about until later in college. I thought about it in high school, but it was always followed with, well, I can't do that. So I, without outing myself. So I guess it's just not in the cards for me.

And so since it wasn't in the cards for me, I just hoped nobody else was getting laid. So I didn't feel like behind. I didn't think anyone was, I was so naive. Like I just was like, Oh, we don't do that. Cause everyone's parents are at home. Like, where are you doing that? Well, it turns out in the back of his Chevy Impala in the parking lot. So, you know, you know, it's, I, there was a very small, I went, I went to a school with like just over 100 people like in all four grades. And so we all knew each other pretty intimately and not even in a sexual way. We just knew way too much about each other. If you had all known each other in a sexual way, I'd be extremely concerned. But thank you for clarifying.

I said the word intimate and I'm sure someone like had took that buzzword and ran with it. But but so and we'd all known each other since we were like six so like we knew way too much i still know way too much about all those people school was too it was like everybody had known each other since kindergarten and like the boy i kissed in kindergarten i just couldn't live it down for the rest of my for the rest of my fucking life i was there till 18 and still people still remembered spanish class when i was six years old and I kissed him and I'm like, I cannot escape this. It's its own version of of high school drama when everyone in high school has known you since you were basically a baby. And everyone's parents know you and everybody, you know, and they all know your parents, what they do, their middle names, your personal address, like where they can find your parents at work.

If they've dated and oh, my God, it was just like a mess. and it was such a small space so like even the parents had history with each other and everyone knew it it was so it's but anyway back to sex um when it comes to because we all knew so much about each other we all knew who had had sex and who hadn't it wasn't like a secret anyone was able to keep because sure you're there's a very large chance the person you slept with also went to school and was telling people yeah and uh but i remember in every grade maybe there only being like two or three people and they were known as like the kids who've had sex and they were like it was like a big deal like i remember it being a big deal and i knew who well i thought i knew i guess i didn't know because my boyfriend was having sex. And since I wasn't, I just assumed he wasn't either. But hey, that was pretty fucking sheltered.

But yeah, I don't know. I feel like it just wasn't a thing. And then I found out it was a thing and it shattered my whole worldview. Anyway, it was, I don't remember why we were talking about, oh, because of my embarrassing choir exam. Which did not involve sex. Well, sort of, because she was sleeping with him

and i had no idea you getting laid well no i mean i would say 99.9 of my stories don't involve me getting laid that i'd say a hundred of mine okay i would say i was gonna say a hundred but then i was like i need to leave some element of mystere but uh it didn't really i think you didn't you saw through it i think the closest thing i have was in college with the celery kisses that was up until like i was probably like the only spontaneous like hot night of like of like oh my god i'm just randomly making out with people that was the only time it's ever happened in my entire life i've never randomly made out with anyone since that night or before that night i miss it anyway you missed that one night

i do i think of it fondly i'm like wow i totally get why other people made out more than once randomly in their life um i'm taking my zoloft so you can keep talking for a second okay well i added um i have my little gargoyles which i've talked about in the past but i added two new characters to the the team if you'd like to meet them i would love to can you explain one more time they're 3d printed and you use them to follow along my crime stories is that right yes i use them as characters so i have a visual i can remember the family trees because sometimes your stories get a little complicated they do and so i have these little gargoyles they're not i don't i, I guess technically they are 3D printed, but I got them from like a little tchotchke shop.

Cute. Oh my God. The rogue eyebrow just went on him. Oh, really? Yeah. Look, he has a rogue eyebrow. Um, but so there, there's four very different ones, but I also, I just went to the toy store, um, in, uh, Austin.

There's in Austin, Texas, they have a really good toy store. And it's known to have every sort of tchotchke you could ever imagine. And I was like, well, that's why I'm there. What a dream. I need things to put on my shelf and then never touch again. And so I found these two little guys. First of all, I found, you know those toys where you back it up on its wheels and then you let it go oh yeah right my favorite i found i found one that is a gravestone and it moves it's got little wheels oh it has the wheels oh i love that it's just a tombstone zipping around

the neighborhood you mean ripping around ripping around the neighborhood that's good so i've got that and then to pair it nicely i have two little friends that also you back up and let go and they fly away i love those leona has a car uh where you press his little head down the little race car driver yeah press his head down and then it zooms away it's so cute you could so she could just press it and it'll zoom i love those toys that's fun well so the two that i got with this little thing they're grim reapers that are like but they're like racing to the they're called racing reapers it says it right on the tin but one like they're literally like they're numbered like race cars and one is is lucky number, unlucky number 13, and one is 666.

Oh, that's cute, actually. That's so clever. And they race over to you. Not to me, I hope. Well, in spirit. But so now I've got these two to add to my gargoyles. So now we're allowed to have six key players in your stories. I love it. Without me getting confused.

Okay, good. Because I don't think mine today has that many but i know in the future they will so well one day if you ever cover uh i've you know i know this it's a it would be a rough one and a long one but if you ever did cover uh the duggar family crisis you're gonna need more a lot more than six more race and reapers i totally understand why you haven't covered that recently i think was sinister hood or someone just covered it and i went oh i bet that was a long story i went that's unless especially as someone who like knows way too much about that family i'm like i wouldn't even know how to condense that yeah yeah i understand that oh well someday someday

it's a it's a personal request but if you also if you never ever do it i understand because i can't imagine how overwhelming like a family of 50 would be for you so yeah yeah you might have to tag team that one at least you would know what's going on though like i feel like if i were to cover a family like that and you had never heard of them we'd be in bigger trouble like at least with this you could help me explain and follow along easily intel you know easily anything about the family dynamics uh i would be able to help alongside so one day maybe but also understandable if never um do you like my christmas lights i freaking love your christmas lights i didn't even think to decorate well eva texted at 102 and i went oh shit we have to record. So I had to just, I had just gotten out of the

shower. I'm not exactly prepared. Um, so maybe I'll find myself a Christmas background while we, while you start your story. So I have just like how last time you had a bit of a variety show with, um, you had multiple stories. I love a variety show. I do had multiple stories i love a variety show i do too and i decided i'm gonna do one today so um just like um how in the past i think it was our first christmas episode no maybe it wasn't our first christmas episode together but if you look through our episode guide on our website shout out um you if you look through our christmas dates you'll see that at some point I covered multiple Christmas lore characters. Oh, there's your background. Speaking of Christmas lore, that is Krampus with Christine and Zandy. Yeah, let me get the audio over here, the video. Okay, here's my background.

It's looking good. He's got his tongue, creepy tongue out he's got alexander by the hair he's uh not having a good time disturbed is what he is it that's a classic that's a classic background yeah i thought it was festive you know i love the curved the tongue the tongue really lets you know you're about to get a lashing and yeah also i just want to shout out uh to jess and uh eva and everybody who helped but um jess who does our newsletters and does she helped with our secret santa this year which is actually eva came up with the new name which is secret krampus and so uh it's christmas today so i figure i give a shout out to everybody who participated i signed up my mom signed up so

it was a it's it's it's fun it's fun next year if you missed it next year we'll do it again i'm snapping for their as thanks all their hard work snaps to them um oh yes so back to my story yeah yeah yeah you can talk now uh so uh at least a few years ago now it was back when you lived in your house here um i covered multiple stories of like christmas spooky lore from other places yes and uh i am coming back with more of that i think i actually brought some of these up in like a quick passing in that episode but i'm going to more so deep dive on them now so good um so i'm gonna do three i have a fourth i don't know if i'm gonna be able to get through it but um so let's just worry about three for now but uh the first one we're talking about frau perchta

what have you heard of frau perchta no maybe you did in that episode but honestly i think i barely mentioned her last time so she's getting her own real segment now i'm scared already so i feel like maybe i just blocked it out you know i feel like there's something about the name frau i know it means like mrs or something yeah it does still i i feel like it sounds scary in this context of like christmas lore like i feel like she's going to come after me. She is. Oh. I knew it.

They all have very like similar Santa Claus vibes of like if you're good, you get rewarded. And if you're naughty. Scary. At least Santa doesn't kill you. Yeah, that's true. That is a plus for the Western, you know, Western tradition, the U.S. tradition. We've done good for ourselves with Santa. But then again, he was created by the Coca-Cola company.

So maybe they they couldn't really through PR drink our soda or else this man will find you and they could have. They just didn't have the balls to do it. You know, back then they probably could have gotten away with it for sure. Yeah. Yeah. So Frau Perchta is amas figure mainly in south germany and it's also in like austrian folklore um she's also sometimes known as bertha or birchta or birchdoll okay um and i'm by the way i'm also reading additional notes off my phone because i found more about her and didn't get to add it to the notes so I'm kind of doing a back and forth thing um but she's very similar to Bell's Nicola Krampus because she's

part of the scarier winter rituals uh one article actually called her Krampus's gal pal which oh I love it I I gotta say I wish that was just I wish they rewrote the narrative and that was her only name from now on. So she's also, oh yeah, Frau means Mrs. So she's also just Mrs. Perchta, but a lot of people have shortened it to Perchta. Okay. And in the 13th century is when we start hearing about her and she just kind of showed up out of nowhere. Her name also means shining one, which is interesting because i feel like we don't really that doesn't offer us any context like shining one doesn't um like when i when i read more

notes about her it's like oh shining one doesn't really add to anything like give insight into her yeah i see okay i feel like well i guess krampus and bell snickle don't either so what am i talking about i think bell snickle did didn't it have some fucking weird ass meaning? I don't remember. I certainly won't be able to translate it on the fly right now. Yeah, it's too bad. I think Belsnickel was last year's episode. So a year has passed.

Oh, it means furry St. Nicholas. Oh, so. Well, that would make sense. What's Krampus mean? It means claw. oh spooky I hate that yeah I feel like also he's done enough that he's just he should at least be called tongue if we're going with like body parts like I feel like he's got a he's known for his creepy tongue he's not known for his claws no his creepy tongue definitely uh's not known for his claws. No, his creepy tongue definitely takes the cake. The cake.

The cake. So to speak. The creepy cake. So it's possible that she, or she's, the best we know is that she symbolizes an ancient Christian holiday called Epiphany, which is on January 6th. And basically Epiphany is at the end of the 12 days of christmas and perchda represents both epiphany and the 12th night of christmas so yes um their og names 12th night is eve of pert and epiphany is day of pert and she's said to be like the

spokeswoman for both i suppose the mascot for both the boss babe she's on two holidays i got none so i don't really get any room to talk for some reason perchda uh eventually became a figure for both of them but they're just kind of they combine themselves over time but the 12th night or the final night of christmas is really like her official domain and what people think of her as. And you'll notice that because the number 12 shows up a bit in her storyline. So Santa shows up on the 25th with presents, but Perch just shows up 10 days later to basically knock you the fuck sideways. And a lot of traditions surrounding her come from older, from times older than her existence.

So a lot of the stories you'll hear about her, even though she's from the 13th century, traditions around her are from even older than the 13th century. So I think it's a lot of people have just kind of added on over time to this. She's kind of a combination of traditions. Many of her stories have been adapted from other folk tales too so people have uh taken inspiration from irish changeling myths to the wild hunt to other christmas scottish lore um so it seems like people will just kind of say anything about her and just whatever sticks sticks um which yikes not fair to, but okay. She's said to be old and ugly. I actually have a quote here.

I know, as if life wasn't already hard. Seriously? This is from burrowsofthedead.com. I'm just going to read the quote because I never had time to take the info and, you know, do my own thing. So on this website, it describes her as she's often depicted with a beaked nose made of iron uh she's dressed in rags perhaps carrying a cane and generally resembles a decrepit old crone but this old crone packs a mighty wallop and carries a long knife under her skirt she's also known Which I'm about to talk about.

She is known. Sometimes as the spinning room lady. Or spinstubenfrau. What the fuck? So she. First of all. The main goal of her. Is to punish people for quote moral failings.

Of her opinion. To her discretion. She hates laziness and she like slovenly people i can't even say the word uh or nosy gossips so i'm already out two for two we're both out i we should expect her at any moment i'm scared i told you i was scared of her before i even knew who she was you could smell smell it on her. You were like, something's wrong. I'm in danger. Well, so she shows up on the 12th night and she will punish the lazy, rude, messy, the gossips, the, you know, and anything that makes you seem unbecoming, I suppose, which I love that she is

straight up in like rags with a knife under her skirt. Who is she to fucking criticize me and my behavior yeah it's always the etiquette police that are the grossest people at the table so seriously back off lady so one of her other nicknames is the belly slitter oh god oh i did not see that coming she has a knife she has a knife right under that skirt at any moment. She could use it. She's going to fucking disembowel people. So basically what happens with Miss Belly Slitter. Sorry, Mrs. Frow Belly Slitter. That's Mrs. to you. Frow to you.

Frow Belly Slitter. You will be asleep. She'll come into your room, much like Santa, I guess. But then it changes very quickly because she will cut open your stomach. She will remove your entrails. I knew it. And she will cut open your stomach she will remove your entrails i knew it and she will stuff you with do you want to guess candy garbage oh that's fucking rude that is so fucking rude where does she get this garbage like your own garbage i'll tell you so the garbage is i mean it really is anything could be dust or soot or hay or straw or broken glass. It's really whatever she can find in your dirty home on the dirty floor.

Because you're so fucking lazy. Yes. It's basically like the, like quite an embellished, like tough love mom of like, well, this is to remind you to clean your room where i wouldn't stuff you full of garbage i'm getting real fucking pissed off at this woman get out of my house triggered i am uh yeah but basically yeah she will use whatever filth of your own that is really next level cruelty like your i will stuff you fully your own filth if you don't clean your room like what a scary scary thing i feel like i always did hear about kids having like some sort of threat of like if you don't clean up your room then i'm gonna take all the stuff

off the floor that you're not respecting and throw it away or something just put it in a trash bag yeah and it's like okay well she's kind of doing the same thing but she's just stuffing it inside of your own cavity you're also dead you also don't get to keep your small intestines sorry um also on top of that you could be a liar in which case she does something else if you're a liar oh you want to take a guess screwed now too yeah she if you're alive she takes her little beak and she pokes she pulls your tongue out she does pull your tongue out but she pulls it she pulls it out to do something to it. What do you think she does? Feed it to Krampus.

No, you get to keep your tongue, but she's going to do something to your tongue. Oh, she's going to staple it to your forehead. I have no idea. She's going to put it in your tummy with all the trash. She is going to scrape it with shards of glass. It's already gone. You already took it like you can scrape it with whatever you want also like the shards of glass i thought those were my belly now so you go back in the belly well yeah what if i'm guilty of all of the above then what yeah exactly what goes first my tongue or my my intestines great point great question

so here's the thing this is why i also looked up on my phone because i i felt like i needed more explanation here um and i didn't get to it yesterday but she's also known i said she's known as the spinning room lady yeah and it's because she's involved in spinning like flax and wool into thread yarn all that good stuff and she's very particular about her spinning. And so I wanted to know why she gave a shit about spinning. Yeah. And here is a quote. This is from the same website. Legend has it that you'd better get all your flack spun by the 12th night or January 6th. For when the Christmas season was over, it would be time to set up the bright, the big upright lo loom at which time you must have enough thread to

warp it and start your weaving so that was apparently very important to her so out of respect you better have all your shit together before 12th night or by 12th night okay and um so basically she spinning was like other than you being slovenly and rude and a liar or something above all else you better fucking have your etiquette right on spinning uh how you do it how you do it when you do it knowing when not to do it including on at night you should never do it at night you should never do it on sundays or other holy days especially ember days in early December don't you even think about it which is weird because don't have it done by a certain time in early December but also like you need it by 12th night which is in January it's a very slim window yeah I was like that

sounds like enough like that's the time you would want to do it she wants you to fail yeah it's like she's saying don't do it 365 days ever but also also it better get done. Yeah. And also she does itching with that knife under her little creepy little beak. She's just ready. She's like scraping it along the wall, just like letting you know she wants. Yeah. She's coming in. There's allegedly one story of Perchta catching, interestingly, 12 women all together spinning at night in one's home. How dare dare you i like that they're having like

a little spin party i think that's so fun for them they just all brought their yarns and perched up look through the window i guess invasive creepy she busts on in because she's like ah you're spinning at night and you're not supposed to do that and so she by busting it i mean she knocks on the door and when and when they open the door though that's when she busts in and not just her but somehow she also can clone herself and 12 of her oh my god walk into this house oh my god one for each perpetrator and also day of you know days after christmas or days of christmas the 12 of her tell each of these other 12 women you have to bring me a bucket of water i need 12 buckets of water and i need it now so i don't know where they were going to find 12

buckets in this woman's house and then also easy access to water in the 13th century yeah uh but i guess they were able to do it in some way, but the women knew what was happening. They knew of Perchta. They knew she was pissed at them, and they knew the water was probably to boil them alive. Oh. For their sins of spinning at night. Oh, jeez. So the way that they escape is when they bring her buckets of water they couldn't

find they say oh we couldn't find buckets but we found these these woven baskets and so the water kept draining out of the baskets they're like we spun them ourselves at midnight i mean at two in the afternoon uh and so basically i guess in her frustration or yelling or doing, I don't know how, but that was part of the plan that helped them get away. Oh, wow. That's ingenious. Another instance of breaking her rules of spinning, Perchta would use a loom. Let's say she walked into your house and saw that you were fucked up in some way. house and saw that you fucked up in some way she would use either her own loom or your loom to spin your intestines out of your body and turn it and turn it into thread so that's another

punishment uh if these crimes weren't enough um she here's the thing i know i made it sound like spinning was the worst thing you could do but the one thing i can get behind on this with this girl is that her least favorite thing about a person is if they can't eat and i was like whoa whoa whoa plot twist i was like you know what i understand there she was like if you better eat because well she keeps taking out everyone's intestines how am i supposed to fucking eat i guess maybe that's her other that's another like twisted version of what parents say of like oh you should be so lucky that you can eat you get food you better eat your vegetables or she'll pull your intestines out like oh if you're not a pretty cloak lena some parents were like oh if you're not appreciative of your food then you just don't get to have any maybe that's that was her thought of like if you're

not going to eat then i'll just take your stomach away yeah since you don't want to eat same thing easily the same thing um but she hated if people didn't eat and like basically gorge themselves because remember she symbolized a day that was a big feast and so if you're not eating then you're disrespecting her okay so she loves gluttony but she does not like sloth laziness i just feel like she's picking and choosing you know it feels toxic like you're not gonna win you can't win it felt toxic before but also like now i'm just mad because she's making it confusing like at least commit you know i feel like she's probably the queen of gaslighting in some way of like oh so you're just gonna sit there and eat oh you're just gonna sit there and eat like oh you're just gonna clean and not eat your food it's like wait you told me to

fucking clean up yeah it's like i don't know what to do you took my intestines lady i wonder what she thinks about ruining the kitchen for the day because you planned on making because you made so much food that you plan on gorging does it cancel out like a great dirty kitchen but full belly man this lady you can't win with her uh well so allegedly on january 6th or her day they do say if you gorge yourself then she can't slice your stomach open which i feel like is backwards because i feel like you've just plumped yourself up. Perfect for slicing. Yeah. But if you have a big meal on Twelfth Night, apparently then she won't come scrape your tongue with glass or cut you open.

But if you have an empty stomach, she will cut it and open it and fill it with herself with either trash or I guess whatever else she can find. Oh, okay. Lovely. But just like how she punishes offenders, she will reward those that she likes. So

there's a good side to her. You just have to see it, everybody. You just have to be a goody two shoes. Imagine if you were bringing her to your friend circle and it's like, guys, I know some of it looks bad, but there's something to it. Once you really get to know her. She has a sparkle, I promise. She just hasn't shown. Once you really get to know her. She has a sparkle.

I promise. She just hasn't shown her true colors yet. She's shy. She's shy. Just ignore the knife that she's dragging across the wall. She's just shy. It's dragging behind her from under her skirt. But like, let it go.

Don't worry about it. She's eccentric. You're reading into the wrong things about her. She's quirky. She deserves a chance. Just one chance. Why don't you ever like any of my friends wow we did that very we did it very well a little too real i i guess so i'm just trying to think of one of your friends i don't like i know thank god that's not a real problem otherwise this would have been really awkward we're both we're both actually just taking back and forth turns about eva yeah uh okay so she does reward people that she likes but um for example she will leave gifts for people

who spin the right way but again like you said small window so i don't know if it's timely but also if you keep your stuff very organized if you do it really well done um fun fact also she does not like to travel alone she has her own little posse of herself that's funny but no oh i genuinely thought you meant she just clones herself so she has a posse i'm like how sad that's hysterical no that would be actually never mind the best way this could have gone, though. But no, maybe. I mean, I guess on really lonely days, she could. Oh, poor thing. It includes her group.

This is why people said in the beginning that she has, some people have taken inspiration from the Wild Hunt, where beasts are involved. Some people have said that her posse includes um krampus like monsters okay um but the thing that she's also known for is she has basically an army of unbaptized ghosts of children oh no and these unbaptized children are floating around as spirits with her awaiting redemption well that's fucking dark jesus if you're nice to the children then she will reward you so there's a story of like a farmer who saw perched with her kids one of them was like naked i guess and it was snowing so he felt really bad

for the little kid and he said oh you poor zoda zoda washer that was the name that he said, oh, you poor Zodawasher. That was the name that he said. It's something in another language. Oh, you poor. Insert word here. But apparently it translates to the word ragged little mite. And so somehow Perchta saw that as complimentary, though. Maybe it's like one of those nicknames that makes like, makes no sense, but it's, like, endearing in that language.

But he says, oh, you poor, basically, oh, you poor thing. But the name that he used, which in our language translates to ragged little mite, Perchta was still grateful that the farmer took time to acknowledge her child and give him a name which basically meant it was akin to baptism or redeeming the child because he had a name uh of a mite which is like a fucking bug that a microscopic bug wow that's charming and uh well perched uh i mean i guess i don't know why i'm confused because her logic hasn't been sound this whole time good point good point but she said oh you redeemed one of my my kids and now i'm going to reward you and you will find good fortune soon and pretty soon someone like a wealthy man helped him out and supported his whole family wow um

there's another story of perch and her kids showing up uh on a cart and the cart broke down so a guy walked over and tried to fix the wheel for them and parchta gives him uh splinters that turned to gold so oh like split little little pieces of wood that's kind of nice but he she didn't give him splinters like no no no she okay she she gave him i maybe a treasure chest of splinters that's nice uh also purchase is said to sometimes appear on 12th night uh if you she's like will appear at your house on 12th night this isn't supposed to happen every time but you may be uh what's that like those those lawyer commercials you may be uh you may be entitled to compensation yeah to compensation for your vaginal mesh surgery. And then I freak out every time and I'm like, no, every, I've never ever become comfortable

with the phrase vaginal mesh for the amount of times that I've heard it on my television. Same, same. Every time it makes me go, it's bad. Just like, why is it mesh? Stop saying it. Um, but anyway, yeah. so you may be entitled to compensation if if perch depicts your house on the 12th night that's great thanks uh and basically she will come up to your house with her several several ghost children and she will ask if she can stay the night there okay um and if you say yes you will be rewarded if you say yes, you will be rewarded. If you say no, then she will blind you through the keyhole. Whoa. So really, you don't have a choice is what I'm telling you.

Also, you know she wants people to say no just so she can do that a few times. I know. If you say yes, she's probably like, shit. Really? Are you sure? Look at all these babies. It's like they're all going to cry. I'm going to make them all cry.

They're all going to cry. One of them is like a dust mite or something. But thanks for letting us in. Also, we all have knives under our skirts. Do you want us inside of your home? Ah, babies with knives. Oh, no. Anyway, that is my, I don't know if it's much of a deep dive.

I would call that somewhere in between a medium dive and whatever I did the last time which was like give offer a sentence of information so i like this one this was uh i had never ever ever heard of this creature person whatever she is well just make sure that you keep your place clean and also i won't you better eat you better eat though that part i can do that i part I can commit to. The rest of it, not so much. Another person is, or this one isn't actually a person. This is a horse ghost. Oh. This one is, it's spelled Mary or Marie L-W-Y-D. And it is pronounced Molly Lloyd.

Molly Lloyd. Well, like mare, like Lloyd. Um, well, like mayor, like a horse. You are ahead of me there. Yes. Great. Good for me.

You know what I think is so funny? Um, RJ, his fiance, her name is mayor and she's a horse girl. And I'm like, Oh my gosh, what a perfect,

I mean, like that's perfect. Yeah. It's like, it'd be really awkward if like you were like really obsessed with like zebras or some other, some other horse like thing. Yeah. Oh, yeah it's like it'd be really awkward if like you were like really obsessed with like zebras or some other yeah some other horse-like thing yeah oh a horse-like creature not penguins that would be funny too i was like we're naming animals cool i can do that her name was penguin and she was a horse girl um okay so marie lloyd marie lloyd i think i'm saying it right but so

in the darkest months of the year it said that a white horse will appear and her name is marie lloyd marie lloyd i think i'm saying it right but so in the darkest months of the year it said that a white horse will appear and her name is marie lloyd and uh she said to be very tall and intimidating which i think speaks for all horses to be clear greed she also has a horse's skull for a head which you could also say about most horses it's just covered in flesh i would agree i feel like that's pretty much a given sometimes i remind myself that i have a skull inside of my head and i'm like it scares me yeah me too it's my it's like especially if you just took an edible and you're like you start thinking about your bones oh don't do that honestly i really i can't i know i know an edible would be great sometimes and then other times i have to really

thought and it's over you're like oh gosh i'm spiraling yeah i i already spiral without any additional things in my system i i thought about my body i was sitting next to you the other day when i was looking at my arm and i was like one day this is going to deteriorate i think about that all the time I'm like which part of my body will first decompose I mean yeah I'm like eventually I know it's so gross but like let's say I got buried let's say let's just say or what if I who knows what's gonna happen to my body I might not I my body might just be sitting somewhere for a while I hope not but it could and then I wonder like maggots are gonna be in my eyeballs and I just think about it for way too long and then I think, like, maggots are going to be in my eyeballs.

And I just think about it for way too long. And then I think, oh, my God. And then I have to rub my eyeballs. But then I feel like I'm squishing the maggots. I know. I don't need an edible. I don't need that. Don't trust me.

I don't need an edible. You're good. Remember that time you and Eva ate maggots? Okay, stop talking about that. You're such a, I don't even want to take an edible around you because you're gonna ruin it for me i would not i i really it when i know someone is like more like a like something could happen i will be so nervous for you i won't push me into the spiral okay i appreciate that since i know that you're not taking anything in the moment it is it is a time to bring it i did take my zoloft so we're in the clear okay good um by the way the

maggots were against their will just so we're clear it wasn't like a fun little no it wasn't a fun little cricket that was covered in chili or something it was just like a little traumatizing but it's fine we're getting over it slowly and then m always brings it back up i'm sorry it's just like you're the only person i know i wish i could tell you oh my god that happened to my other friend but but i when it happens to somebody else, I will tell you first. Thank you so much. You've at least earned that. I can't wait for somebody else to join me in this hell.

Okay. Where were we? Oh, okay. So the horse has for a head just its skull. The head is also draped with ribbonsbons which i love that it's trying to decorate precious she has a white cloak kind of a shapeless body um her eye sockets this i think is actually like so camp um she for her eye sockets has christmas like baubles like shiny ornaments trinkets in her eyes i love that she really She really said, we're going to be festive.

And that's how we're going to handle this. We're going to slay. Get it? Yes, I do get it. And I'm OK with it, too. Oh, good. That's what I was worried about. You know, I'd like to think that Molly Lloyd would be very close with Rudolph because she's

got ornaments for eyes. He's got a red nose. They're unique. The island of misfit animals. I love that. I would live there. I would move there in a heartbeat. I think I would too.

Yes. Now I'm thinking more about having to pet a skull. Never mind. A little scritch. A little scritch. So the earliest written mention we have of marie lloyd is in 1800 but the story is significantly much older than that a lot of people think that this story actually has aspects of ancient pagan roots um one translation marie lloyd means gray mare as you said. And in a lot of European and especially just Celtic and British myths, white horses are common in their stories because they can bring you to the other world, as we mentioned last week.

Or wait, we'll mention that next week. Spoiler alert. We recorded next week's yesterday. Spoiler alert. We talk about the other world a little bit. weeks yesterday spoiler alert we talk about the other world a little bit um but because it's the other world is uh known to be like fairy fey she um spaces so a lot of people think that that implies that this story is pre-christian um there's another translation though that's more from like a christian aspect where the name translates to Gray Mary.

So realistically, the story is probably just transformed over time, like all other folklore. And, you know, we don't totally know the truth to it. And today's tradition, though, you can see Marie Lloyd between Christmas and Twelfth Night. And this actually sounds kind of fun because, you know how like someone will dress up as santa in your town someone will dress up as marie lloyd and they'll have to take their eyeballs out and put ornaments in their head but other than that everything's normal that the ribbons are gorgeous it's a good look uh so they'll wear a white cloak they'll decorate themselves in christmas lights and ornaments and trinkets and all that

good stuff so and then they will hold a stick over their heads probably under the cloak with a horse a horse skull so it looks like they're the horse oh i hope that's not a real skull but you know other than that i like to think they have spirit halloween and other places where they can just grab a quick skull 1800 they probably had access to real horse skulls i hope now they're not as easily accessible you know yeah i hope now maybe it's just like a like a mask like a two dollar spencer's mask or something let's hope um they'll also have uh with them an ostler which is basically the their guide for the rest of the night because since they're covering up their face,

they need like a horse wrangler. A handler. A handler. And so they'll walk through the town. Marley Lloyd will go to people's doors and sing, I think it's called wassails. Oh yeah, you wassail. Have you not heard that?

Here we go, a wassailing among the leaves of green. No? No, but that was very in tune, and I feel bad that you didn't get the grade you deserved in your music theory class. Clearly my whole life has just become like a makeup session for that. For someone who always claims that you can't keep a tune. That was very nice. Here's the thing. I'm trying to come up with the right word for it. I'm not tone deaf because I can hear when my tone is off. Like I know that it off i just can't i just have a hard time hitting the right tone does that make sense i guess it's not like i sing and i'm like oh wow i sound great like i know when i'm off the right tone so i'm not tone deaf like i know that it's off you're just pitchy are you

pitchy i'm pitchy but i'm also just not a good singer. So I don't know. Oh, okay. Well, hey, you know how to wassail or whatever. Here we go, a wassailing. So I don't know if it's pronounced wassail. I think it's wassail, but maybe that's just how they sing this song. Wassail sounds like waffle. So I'm into that. It's wassail. It's wassail.

I just looked it up. Well, so basically it's more or less it's caroling. It's our version of caroling um and so uh molly lloyd will go from door to door will sing wassels um and another uh thing that molly lloyd does i think it's pronounced pinco it's pC-O. Whoa. And basically she'll show up at your house doing her version of Christmas carols. And then sometimes we'll also do Pwinco, which is a rhyming contest between Maddie Lloyd and you at the front door. Oh, the pressure's on. Open mic. front door oh the pressure's on open so and i guess it's like dealer's choice because you can

either freestyle your own like decide what you're rhyming or you can try to do like reciting contests of like previous oh i love this okay well just another spoiler alert i told a limerick on next episode which you didn't come out which you fucking freestyled by the way and it was great thank you i love a limerick. I'm very quickly becoming musically intimidated by you. I would not go that far. Don't worry. It's going to stop real soon.

Any day now. But so far, I haven't seen it. So a question. As someone with debilitating don't come in my home anxiety, if someone knocked on your door and just demanded a rhyming contest, would you be interested in that or no? Here's the thing. I would not answer the door. So I would never find out. I feel like through in today's world, through your ring doorbell, you would do a rhyming contest so you didn't have to get off the couch. I would, but I also don't like to be on the phone. And the ring doorbell is one of those exact same in my mind scenarios. So

maybe after my hypnotherapy session which i also talk about next week um maybe then i'll know how to do a rhyming session apparently i say nothing next week christine just handles it oh no wait i talked about the other world yeah like we talked a lot uh about our intro next week is quite something uh we started talking about like capitalism we went off the rails really quickly anyway uh i don't know what would you do if someone knocked on your door and asked you to rhyme i i think i also would be too scared to answer the door i think i would have probably awkwardly i think in today's world i think with like tiktok and things like that there'd be like my algorithm

would be flooded with like ways to prep your rhyming game. Yeah. Yeah. Or like you would see, you would see like people having rhyming parties preparing. Just like imagine looking at the people and you see a horse skull. Like why would anyone answer the door? I'd be like, please leave me alone. Or what if it's a horse skull you know is coming just to do nothing but rhyme and sing to you? Then I would be standing behind the door like a loon and just be waiting and then i would participate if i knew it was happening i would here's my bigger more realistic fear what if the person dressed as maddie lloyd is really invested in staying in character and it's like they don't get the hint that like no you go to the next door like okay we've had our fun we're not participating

because i feel like you could be like come on out and like when leave i'd be like i know you're in there yeah it's time to go yeah please move on what's the thing that horses do when they're like it's like a fake thing when they go like oh they is that a winnie or no i don't i think that's a yeah that's a winnie yeah i don't know what that is a slobber i don't know also how realistic is uh this this costume looking are there flies around its eyes and ass the whole time because that would be very annoying i looked up horse sounds horse noises a knicker a knicker that's what that is the thing I did a scream oh I know what that sounds like I do that all the time we do that all the time um I'm not gonna click it because it says with audio so I don't think I need to I don't think

I need that we can guess we've heard a horse before yeah a whinny a knicker cool I don't know a scream a nay that's the one that we usually roll with i love that does that mean every animal has several words for all of its sounds that's a great question i don't know maybe not every animal what's the one when dogs are too tired to do a full bark but they just go like what's that no i call that a boof because that's my favorite i love when they buff they're so sleepy they're so sleepy but they want to look so scary they're like i protect you buff anyway okay well if that wasn't the name for it before it is now it is now so if you let molly

lloyd uh here's the thing the contest the rhyming contest if she wins she can enter your home oh well that immediately makes it okay well if i knew that i don't think i would participate please leave me alone also you can just i think just let her inside if you know like what's coming because if she comes into your home she will bring good luck for you in the new year oh okay i i'm still stuck on the like cutting my belly open thing i think i was just like a little apprehensive but that girl does not come in well i guess she does wait until she no she doesn't wait till she's invited all the time because she'll just if i don't think she has to wait to she'd be waiting a long time to get invited time period of december and i know one of them is at

the door i don't think i'm taking my chances you know great point you would definitely need a ring doorbell back then yeah yeah yeah for sure back then before you knew it was just a solid piece of wood between you and this thing and you're just not even a peephole not even a peephole well so uh that's where I get confused for this too because if if the whole point of the rhyming contest is for you to lose to then earn good luck yeah I'm like I'll just i just veto even trying and give me good luck just come on in yeah just because apparently what i forfeit what she'll do is she'll just like wander around your house and be like oh good good luck to you within the new year and then leaves wow um and also she doesn't just go to houses she'll go go to pubs. And if you buy her a beer, she will sing to you for good luck.

Now this I am 110% on board with. I think so. I think she probably also has more fun that way. I would imagine so. Yes. Also, is it actual like human beer? I mean, I guess like if we're talking about like the tradition of it all is like, oh, someone to buy them a beer and they'll sing for you. But in the actual folklore, I wonder what the horse got. Like got like you know they have like cat wine now and dog beer i don't think that they really pandered to pet parents back then so i imagine it was just a normal beer it's probably just anything in the trough like yeah mud yeah um so she may look scary but know that she is harmless and mainly just mischievous because if she does go into your house she maybe tries to take things from your house just to like as a prank or what a funny prank just stealing shit from my house it gets funnier because if she likes you she'll chase you um with the horse skull this

is nightmare fuel there are a lot of welsh people that have been interviewed and remember as children their christmas memories of being chased by the maury lloyd uh who was snapping the horse jaws oh my god so anyway i guess we all sit on santa's laps at the mall whilst children get chased by a horse snapping horse skull is terrifying and then i know we're coming up so i'm just going to do one last one and this is the i had i had some others i didn't know how long it was going to take but i should have known i'm talking a lot no i should have known we'd have room to speak a lot about about a lot of things so let's just do one more this is uh hans trap and this story is shorter than the other two so hans trap is a figure in rural france

and shows up at around 1480 he was a knight named hans von trotha and he was given a castle fortress uh that many thought he was many thought he was given this castle unfairly and so because of this there was a protest against him getting this castle and the people protesting happened to be a group of monks and hans uh basically the the protest didn't do much and hans later wanted revenge on them for even trying to stand up to him so he does well two things technically he builds a dam but by building a dam he cuts off their water so he had the dam end right at the castle so he had water and the rest of the town didn't have any the second thing he did with this dam is he built it in a certain way that diverted the water so that even though they couldn't get any water, eventually the town would flood. And so he eventually breaks the dam and lets the whole city flood underneath him.

Oh, yeah. So when Hans floods the town, the Pope excommunicates him and banishes him. Okay. So when Hans floods the town, the Pope excommunicates him and banishes him. Okay. So he dies in 1503 in his castle and his spirit is said to still lurk the castle and the surrounding forest. What's going on? Sorry. I see you smiling.

What's the situation? I'm sorry, I've done something stupid. What's the situation? What'd you do? You spilled? No, I just, I earlier today. Oh God, I'm so embarrassed. Earlier today.

I saw your creepy little face. I'm morphing in a weird way. I usually get at hiding my expressions. Earlier today. Just say it. Signed Leona up for like the little gym, like one of those like cute little gym things, you know? And I signed her up for a class and i sent it to blaze and this was like a few hours ago and i just saw a text come in and like i'm on do not disturb

you know so that but only blaze's texts come through just in case and he just said babe don't be mad so of course i was like i'll read it and it says the gym you picked is in florence south carolina not florence kentucky so oops, let's keep, keep the membership open. So Alison and I can go next week. You guys can go with the, with the baby there. Anyway, sorry. I just like, I saw babe, don't be mad. And I was like, I should probably open this text because I don't know what it says. Um, don't be mad, but I let a horse skull into the house because I couldn't finish my rhymes and it likes you and it's coming your way if you hear a snapping sound that's what's if you hear a winning uh a neighing or whatever yeah anyway okay so i'll deal with that later

but i just i was so nervous and then i opened it and saw that i like started laughing because i was like wow i'm such an i like how he says don't be mad and i'm like i did it like it's my own fault yeah what are you doing to this poor man where he has to prep you about something like that he just i just feel stupid that's all um anyway okay sorry go ahead well basically he haunts his own castle and the surrounding forest so uh he's now known uh he's this six foot like over six feet tall apparition they say he wears a big black coat he has loud black boots and we say loud because he even his name has been changed from hans von trotha to his nickname hans trap for trappen which meant to make noise while walking so his his boots were so significantly loud that they had to change his whole name for this ghost story his boots were meant for talking

now that's the truth i'm sorry don't be mad but i've got a really good pun that i'm about to use i just feel blade's already mad because he knew i said something stupid and i did and he does everyone deserves to be mad at me for that i apologize well this apparition is also known to have a gray beard a pointed hat and he carries a rod uh hans spirit speaks german rides on horseback i wonder if he knows the maldiloid and he is seen near christmas which is why i'm covering it i don't even know why i said that okay uh so this rod that he holds take one guess at what he does with it i I don't know. He pokes your eyes out.

No, something more obvious about if you're naughty on the naughty list. You get beat up. That's the truth. So he beats bad children and particularly bad children. He won't just beat them. That's not enough. He will kidnap and eat them. What the fuck?

Why? How come there are so how come every like country has their own version of a monster will slaughter you if you are not slaughter you i mean it's disturbing it's like sick stop it for once i feel like that's the only win we have as the us of a i don't know of any of our i mean i guess we had the boogeyman but but that was still pretty vague. And also not everyone talked about it. And like, I feel like they, at the most, it would be like, they'll get you. Yeah, that was it. Cut your stomach open and eat you alive.

Maybe that's the difference between our nation and theirs is that like, we are, we fear the vague. We fear the mystere. Because like, if the boogeyman is going to gonna get us it's like that torture where like your own imagination is the scariest weapon you could use on someone great point um like just he could be worse than any of these characters or he could just grab your little feet and tickle you and that's terrible too which is also pretty bad i'd rather you just eat me you know i'd rather you just slice me in half um oh yeah like it's it's interesting i feel like i can't think of any characters we have i guess the tooth fairy sounds fucked up to other countries of like oh she steals but your teeth are

already out of your head so like she brings pliers yeah exactly you're giving them as a gift it's different oh i don't know i don't like it though i't know. But apparently this one will kidnap and eat you. There's one version of this story that says that God actually cursed Hans to turn into an almost lifeless scarecrow to punish him for eating a boy that was out in the farm. Oh no. That creeps me out. The scarecrow. and uh that creeps me out the scarecrow like i especially because one of my go-to horror movies growing up was jeepers creepers especially jeepers creepers 2 when the monster is at first on like a scarecrow cross um and then all of a sudden gets you yeah and that's like already that's like an easily built-in fear to instill in children because they're a lifeless human figure out

yeah they're already nowhere so you don't have to like imagine it it's in front of you yeah you can just look out the window and be like see that if you're bad he comes to life exactly he's real yeah oh god no wonder we all have fucking generational trauma in our dna i think every i don't know a person who isn't scared of scarecrows at least at night when it's just kind of they're just like up there i get why crows are fucking scared it should just be called a scare just like up there oh i get why crows are fucking scared it should just be called a scare human though you know scare human scare babies crows aren't the only ones afraid scare innocent children okay so every year in this town of france called wissemberg uh they host a parade on the fourth sunday of advent and at the parade, Hans is seen on horseback asking kids if they've been good.

And I guess the implication is that all the happy children with their families at the parade go, yes, we've been good. Don't beat us with the stick. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. Fun fact, apparently, so he's riding on horseback through this parade. And from what I've seen,

there are also scenarios or also the you know some of the parades they've chosen to have behind the horse he is dragging a cage with children in it like little little children actors and they are begging people on the street to be freed from hans gross and we're supposed to find that charming and endearing. Okay. Sure. And that's how I, that's where I leave you. That was, those are my three Christmas tales for you. Wow. A cage of children. What a way to end.

A cage of children. Yeah. Not a cute look. I still, there's a, there was one, what was it? In college there was a Greek life event that I went to where like it was like a a fundraiser where like people would recruit it wasn't my sorority but they would pick people um they would pick like a friend of theirs or something and they would basically put them in

jail which like now is like so cringy but would put them in jail in like the student union and that person had to like get enough people to donate to them to pay for them to get out and the money would be donated back to the cause oh yikes so the bail quote unquote the bail yeah and uh i i know well now it's so cringy i was like i also was one of the people who was in there at one point and like said like oh but also i had a friend who i was like just give me five dollars and then i can leave but it was like basically it was supposed to like bring people together because like you had to know somebody and then they had to know people to come out to

the event so that they could then donate and but like now when i think about the storyline i'm like like i now i feel really gross about it but yeah it's a little cringe but oh it's very trust me i hate like 90 of my who i was before my uh mid-20s but uh no so i that was my first thought of like it's supposed to be fun that they're in cages and asking to be freed and then i was like ew i feel like that's very similar to what that yeah so if you're listening out there and you do something like that as like a fun donation thing maybe maybe don't do it anymore maybe it's maybe it's outdated folks maybe a little bit for a lot of reasons but yeah i i wonder what the situation is for uh the parade do they still do the parade i bet it would be i bet all the kids want to be in the cage like i would want to be i would want to be in the cage because

it's like you're one of the like the cool you're like a chosen one you're part of the parade not and especially in the state of the world where there are children in actual cages it's like yeah yeah now now not so much but i could see as a as a little kid being like oh my gosh i want to be on the float. I get to go to school the next day and say I was one of the kids on the float. Totally. But so if you are from Wissenberg, France, let us know. Let us know if that still happens.

I'm curious. If you were one of the kids, let us know. I would like to know if that was actually true or not. Or maybe that's, you know, who's to say? I'm looking forward to a response eventually maybe i'll just get it from youtube after we record so yeah we'll find it one way or another well thank you m that was very festive i appreciate it does everyone feel happy and safe now jolly what do you think okay well i also have a christmas story for you today of course it's just a terrible one

about a double homicide well i i don't know why every time i'm surprised because you make it do do make it sound like i'm about to have a fun time with you and then you go actually it's about slaughtering but except my story isn't folklore mine is real except mine this has actually happened yeah yeah, yeah, which is terrible. I love that I get to, I just, I do, I'm very lucky that between the two of us, I get to be the one that gets to hide behind the allegedly at every second of this show. That kind of part sucks a little bit. I do feel for you.

That's rough. Yeah, but you're the one who has to engage with it. So, you know, I just got to tell it to you that's true it is probably so much more fun for you to have commentary to my stories with me i'm like oh god how do i make this funny like yeah which like by the way i just don't i just sit there and go oh my god the whole time because it's terrible yeah well that's what the tangents are for you know love a good tangent that's it really is our saving grace. Saving grace, for sure. Okay, so this is the And That's Why I Drink Christmas episode 2022. I watched a TV show called Ice Cold Killers.

And of course, it was on Discovery+. And the episode I watched was called Christmas Terror. And most of the information I got was from that show. So forgive me. It wasn't until I realized two days ago that we were recording our Christmas episode today that I figured I would find a Christmas adjacent story. So I apologize, but most of the information is from that. So if you end up watching it, it's probably going to sound real familiar. Okay.

And I did go and find a little more detail, but most of it's from that episode. So let's get into it. This is the story of Ed and Minnie Marin. We're back in 1985, and Ed and Minnie are an older couple who have been married for 24 years. They own a farm in Lewis County, Washington, and they're very, very friendly with the locals. If anyone needed gas or had a flat tire, they would help them let them in. Just, you know, the equivalent of light up a room for an elderly couple. Sure, of course.

Just beloved by the community. I love it. Every year they had a big Christmas party. It was on December 19th that year. And friends and family always came to the Christmas party. It was a big deal in town and December 19th the invitation was around noon so the party started early and went late. So around noon friends and family start showing up but weirdly enough the front door was locked and nobody was home. The curtains were pulled closed. The cars were gone out of the

driveway. It didn't make any sense. And this was weird. They had this annual party. They never missed the party. It just didn't make sense that neither of them would be home. So hours later, finally, the family manages to get into the house and there is nobody there. But instead, they see papers strewn everywhere. And these papers are actually bank statements. And they are spread all over the house through different rooms, including the bathroom. So they're just everywhere. Weird. Okay.

Which was not like them. Sure. So the daughter's, I mean, it's like me to strewn my papers everywhere. I was going to say, Frau would be pissed. Frau would be like, give me those bank statements. You know where these are going. Yes. Frau would be not having it.

So she should not go in my bathroom because there's just stuff everywhere. Don't say it out loud. She might listen to the podcast. Oh, well, she's already, listen, if she does, I'm screwed because I've said a lot of things about her today that I don't think she'd approve of she's finalizing her list as we speak because it's not christmas for us yet so ah well if you don't hear from me ever again that's probably what happened i'll let the i'll alert the authorities thank you uh and speaking of authorities the daughters decided to call the sheriff because they weren't sure what else to do sure they came and took a look around and they found minnie's purse under the couch which i feel like is always a big red flag because it means

you know she left without it which is unlike most people they wouldn't leave without their bag and money is there a tell that you would have you think if if you went missing is there something that people i feel like it's it's easily for a lot of people now their phone it's just like oh definitely phone and definitely either glasses or contacts but i guess i wear contacts regularly so for you it'd be glasses i think right and phone oh yeah i can't i i'm i don't know what the what the actual definition of legally blind is but like i can't see like last time i measured it was like five inches from my eyes i can't see anything so that feels pretty pretty bad you're not leaving without them basically no i need my glasses and i can't wear contacts so i have i if i don't have and i only have one pair so if these are yeah exactly something something's wrong or you're

just you just can't see and you're out there walking into poles. Or I decided to have a very adventurous day. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, interesting. Yeah, I think that's a great question. I forget my wallet all the time and I forget my keys and I forget all sorts of shit. So I'm actually really bad in this scenario. I'm not like a very reliable person to track down because sometimes I wear contacts. Sometimes I wear glasses sometimes I

forget my social security card on the floor of the bar you know it's like I can't be traced properly because I don't have built-in routine so I apologize for that um if I go missing it's probably gonna be hard to find me good to know I'll start prepping now it's probably a dangerous thing to say on a true crime show yeah yeah yeahboard. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Start the string. You're going to need a lot of string. Yeah. To make that. Yeah.

Okay. So the bed was unmade. Mine's always unmade. So that's definitely not a tell for me. If mine's made, we're, no, something's wrong. Oh, right. If mine is made, then yeah, there's a problem. But their bed was unmade and Ed's clothes were next to the bed and his watch was

on the nightstand which was unusual because he wore that every day so just all big red flags now night falls it's freezing search parties start to form and detectives canvas the neighborhood for any witnesses unfortunately they really didn't have much luck they did find a shoe print on a stool uh and on the bathtub where the bank statements had been thrown around oh shoe print on the stool of the bathtub no sorry a stool and on the bathtub so they found two separate footprints and neither of the footprints it's like a shoe print neither of them matched ed or mini okay so they thought maybe this was a stranger who took advantage of their hospitality gave them some sort of story like oh i'm out of gas i need help or and they let them in can i use your phone who knows so that was kind of the running theory but they also had to look at

the family so the first person they really uh pinpoint is the grandson whose name is mike and they interrogate him thinking he might have something to do with this because he was so close with his grandparents and they thought maybe he knew about their finances and knew about their routine and took advantage of it and they actually interview Mike in this episode of Ice Cold Killers and he's like it's really hard for him obviously yeah because he's saying like they thought i did something but i was just really close with them and i spent every weekend with them on the farm and so it must have been a very tough time especially someone so close

like you're already doing your own grieving yes you're already upset yeah like you don't have the mental emotion i think even if i weren't in the middle of a heavy grief, I wouldn't be able to process being the center of a suspect. Defending yourself. Yeah. Even though you don't even know what happened to them. Yeah. So it must have been just a shitty place to be. He unfortunately had a reputation for partying and being irresponsible. And so they they, you know, that on him. And they were looking at him. They didn't really have any hard evidence, but they were looking at him. And that's when they received a call from the bank teller at Ed's and Minnie's bank. The bank teller says something really weird happened the other day. And I heard that you were looking for clues and they said okay what happened she said i got a call from ed requesting cash and he he said he would be coming in to request some cash from his account and he requested eight thousand five hundred dollars in one hundred

dollar bills that's a very specific number yeah and also so is it actually ed or is this someone who's calling in and pretending to be ed so she said ed called and said he would be arriving an hour later ed did arrive alone what at the bank oh shit okay and it was very weird that he didn't have his wife with him because actually minnie was known to handle most of the finances and so it was odd to see him there without her but he went in and he asked for this $8,500 in $100 bills and the teller asked about Mrs. Morin, Minnie, and Ed said oh she's out in the car because she's not feeling well. The teller was like all right that's odd but okay and he said he needed the money the 8500 because they were going up north and the kids were going to help them buy a car today and keep in

mind this is the day of their christmas party so as police and the family are hearing this they're like that makes no fucking sense because they were supposed to be hosting this party nobody had any plans to buy a car nobody had any plans to buy a car. Nobody had any plans to leave town. It doesn't make any sense. Unfortunately, the cash hadn't arrived from the main branch yet. So she told him he would have to wait for a bit for the money to come in. So he went back to wait in his car, which she noticed this bank teller was parked really far away, even though the parking lot was mostly empty and it was freezing cold out. What year was this?

85. Okay. Did they have video cameras? Is that why he was parked far away or something? I don't know, actually. That didn't come into play, so I don't think so. But yeah, it was just an odd, odd thing. And the cash arrived soon after and the teller was like, okay, well, I'll go out to let him know. so she walks outside to go get him and she sees a second person in the car isn't sure who it is walks about halfway from the door to the car and ed like rushes out of the car and is like oh it's fine you know i'll meet you halfway like doesn't want her near the car oh yeah oh i have goose cam so spooky so he goes inside with her and she tries to convince him to take a cashier's check she's like you don't really

want this in all cash do you and he insists that he wants 8500 in 100 bills so she puts it in an envelope and gives it to him and that is the end of her story. Now the police tell this to the family. And like I said, they're thinking, well, we had no plans to help them buy a car. This is not, you know, this is the day of the Christmas party. None of this adds up and it wasn't true. So it feels like he's being taken hostage or something, something like that. And so it's very alarming, big red flags. Uh, they, they take the house apart again looking for fingerprints and uh all the fingerprints they could find were of the family couldn't find anything suspicious and uh they continued with their search party they searched the area um they were building out kind of a

suspect list of maybe somebody outside of the family who could have known their finances. And the farm that they owned was actually selling Christmas trees at the time. And the kids, some of the employees seemed shady to the kids. The kids were like, there are a couple people who are working at the Christmas tree farm that we didn't necessarily trust or that acted a bit odd. the Christmas tree farm that we didn't necessarily trust or that acted a bit odd. And they would, you know, come and work on the property and come and go. And so they said maybe they had maybe one of the employees had something to do with it. There was specifically one guy who stood out. He was a drifter who had trouble with the law and the family kind of knew about this. He had motive in that he knew how much money they were making off Christmas trees. A lot of it was cash. And so they thought, well, maybe he took

advantage of the family business and wanted the money. So investigators now have to track down this guy, which is not an easy feat because he, like I was considered a drifter so he was already out of the picture one of the neighbors meanwhile told them something interesting she had also had a strange encounter the day of the christmas party or shortly before so she said that a man had stopped by her house shortly before the murders and asked her for gas and she was like she felt on edge about it she did not feel like this was a normal interaction she didn't recognize the guy and uh she said she didn't have gas but she noticed he kept staring at the marin's house while they were talking oh yeah gross so he got in his car and left and just drove in the other direction.

And she's like, I thought you were out of gas. Like, this is, the whole thing was just off. You know, he said there was a problem with the car. He was out of gas. And then he got in it and drove away. He was staring at the maroon's house the whole time. And her description of the guy sounded like this drifter guy that worked at the Christmas tree farm. Then they received their biggest tip so far when an employee of the local mall saw what they thought to be Ed and Minnie's car in the mall parking lot.

Oh, OK. So the car that he was also he had just come from the bank from. Yes. Yes. bank from yes yes so they see the car parked in the mall parking lot and police show up and the windows are frosted over because it's been so cold so the detective who had to take his hand and like rub the frost away to look inside wow how cinematic and right yeah i love that in the show it was so funny they were like describing how he warmed the frost with his hand. I was like, whoa. Wow. This guy's planning his next great detective novel, you know, in his retirement. So he rubs over the windows to get a peek inside. And when he looks in, he finds he sees a blanket on the front seat covered in blood.

Oh, shit. Yeah. It's bad. Oh, that's not good. Okay. When they take a closer look at the car, they see a crack in the windshield. The dashboard has been damaged and the entire car just has blood all over it. There's no body.

So they're hoping maybe this is someone else's blood. I mean, the chances are slim, but they're just thinking, you know, maybe they're still out there somewhere. Yeah. But, you know, all signs point to this is probably one of their blood. Yeah. Someone said. So five days after the disappearance, the morning of Christmas Eve, a man on a logging road calls police. He's out for his Christmas Eve walk.

Okay. That's precious. I know. And he looks over and he sees what he thinks is a mannequin no yeah and oh god okay and of course as i think my favorite murder popularized it's never a mannequin i think is what their one of their quotes was it's never a mannequin so he thinks he sees a mannequin and he calls police and they arrive and they find the body of a woman uh it is mini marin nearby they find a second body and that's

the body of her husband ed marin using blood trails and tire tracks they tried to build out the crime scene and what could have happened so on the road they found two large pools of blood and then two trails of blood from the pools of blood that led to the body so essentially they'd been shot inside the car they figured because of the amount of blood inside the car and then dragged out and ultimately taken you know off the road yeah very disturbing and they found a receipt for the $8,500 withdrawal inside the car with blood spatter on it so this I thought was interesting they were able to determine that a sawed-off shotgun was used to kill them and that's because they realized a full-size shotgun wouldn't have fit in the car and so so they basically said, well, they were killed with a shotgun, but it must have been sawed off because there's no way they would have fit a full shotgun in this car.

Yeah, that makes sense. Yeah. So they did not actually release that information to the public with the hopes that somebody could reveal that down the line and they could pin it on that person. So once again, they turned to the public and said you know does somebody know anything did anyone see something in the mall parking lot and actually a couple witnesses came forward saying they saw the car in the mall parking lot with a man who walked away with something wrapped in a white cloth which they presumed was the gun uh-huh yeah and the mall actually sold guns so it wasn't

actually that weird to see someone carrying a gun, which is why people didn't necessarily report it at the time. But once they heard about the car and the murders, they said a couple people came forward and told this story. They said it was a white male in his 20s or 30s with curly hair, wearing a stocking cap, green army jacket, blue jeans, and boots. He had a scruffy beard and piercings and evil looking eyes. And multiple people commented on the eyes, which creeps me out. He must have been scary. Clearly something had to be going on. I feel like if a lot of people are saying something about the eyes, you can just tell in someone's face if something's off a lot of people are saying something about the eyes.

You can just tell in someone's face if something's off a lot of times. If they're malevolent. Yeah. Yeah. Gross. I don't like it. I don't like it. So when they heard this description, they realized this matched the description of the drifter from the Christmas tree farm.

So they finally tracked this guy down. They find him. He was cooperative. He passed a polygraph. It's not the guy. It's not the fucking guy. from the christmas tree farm so they finally tracked this guy down they find him he was cooperative he passed a polygraph it's not the guy it's not a fucking drifter after all that i honestly didn't see that coming i thought this was going to be like a one and done i know it seems like it would be because of the way that the story is told i guess but i really thought it was him and then uh yeah he apparently was like what the fuck like i had nothing to do with this which also is very like i just was looking for gas i was

just asking for gas i just need a i just need a need a what's like a tree christmas tree christmas tree i just need a job is what i was trying to say he's like i was just trying to find some work um so he's not the right guy so now they're back to square one and they release a composite sketch to the media of course now thousands of tips are pouring in a lot of them are dead ends but one tip actually stood out and it was a woman who thought she recognized the man and she said i think i know who that is it's pete casey so they look up this guy pete casey and they find out that he was once married to the Marin's niece. So it's just like a strange crossover.

So Eddie and Minnie's... So a nephew-in-law. Yeah. So it was once their nephew-in-law. Yeah. I don't know if you need your gargoyles for that, but just FYI. I just... For some reason, niece and nephew is...

Once the family tree starts diagonaling again i have to start really thinking about it it's incredibly confusing to me too i don't like i don't know why it's so confusing you've explained like you've explained removed and all that so many times and i just cannot wrap my head around it so i feel like if it's not part of like your industry jargon you and you don't talk about it a lot it just always escapes you like like a like a wicker basket full of water just oh just like that stokes out like you know i know i look i know a thing or two about wicker baskets and drainings and okay so they look at this p casey guy he was married to their niece and they're like hmm and what's more, he had a criminal history.

And they thought, well, maybe this is our guy. It's worth looking into. Also, I mean, yeah, because he would have known, like, oh, they throw really good parties. They might have money. People would be looking for them eventually. Yep. I don't know. But I would also think, like, oh, the only time I definitely shouldn't do it is during the Christmas party.

It's the day of the Christmas party. Yeah. That's weird. That's weird. Maybe he didn't know. It's the day of the Christmas party. Yeah, that's weird. That's weird. Maybe he didn't know what day it was because he wasn't invited. Oh, sure. You never know. You never know.

The best part about this is that the cops know he won't talk to them because he's had a history with the law. He's like not going to be cooperative. So they decide to pretend to be the mafia. Huh. That's an angle I haven't heard of yet but okay so they they develop a ruse uh where undercover cops tell him the mafia needs guys like you and they basically like play to his ego and make him think he's being recruited by the fucking mafia like it's such a facepalm moment. Because he fucking falls for it. I hope he like wherever he is in the world. If he's sitting in a jail cell right now.

He's just I can't believe I fall for that. I hope he feels embarrassed. I hope the other inmates laugh at him. They're like you fucking heard what? Seriously? You really felt that? What a fool. So of course he immediately agrees to start working for the mafia.

And they're like, cool. Great. God. And they're hoping he'll brag about the murder and give them some intel. So they go as far as to have him deliver packages and make him think he's, like, doing tasks for the mafia to build trust. God. And after slowly building his trust, they finally ask him to let them know what he's done in the past. They want to know that they can trust him.

They're like, we need to know that you've done things to deserve to be in the mafia. And he starts to provide info about a double homicide. And he says, I killed Ed and Minnie Marin. And he fully confesses to being involved. And they're like, well like well shit we've got our guy so they ask for more information they ask him for details but as he starts telling the details they realize these aren't right no way yes way yes way oh my god he gave the wrong murder weapon he didn't know where the bodies were he says he's the one who walked into the bank and robbed them or whatever.

He's basically trying to make himself look like a killer, but he's lying. Like he got all the details wrong. He's just trying to show off. So now I know there's just a guy out there in the world who was just like happily going to join the mob. Just like faking it. Yeah. Till you make it. He was just like, oh, cool.

Yeah. I guess this is like my new adventure. Man. You know, they say to like put yourself in a good light during a job interview but like this is really taking it too far you know that's incredibly crazy yeah it's incredibly nuts like what are you thinking and imagine finding out after that they were cops and you were like whoa i'm a fucking idiot you? I hadn't even thought about that. I hadn't even thought about that. He was like, I was bragging about something I didn't even do. Oh, God.

Oh, my God. I hope he learned his lesson. I feel like even if he hadn't technically done anything illegal, I feel like, or I don't know if he had, but it sounds like he technically didn't. I would still, at the police department, have him on file of like, this guy wants to be in the mob and put a little flag on that we'll fake brag about homicide yeah yeah put a flag on that just in case good to know about it yeah agreed so also side note imagine being the cops who are like we

just wasted so much fucking time getting this guy to deliver packages to nobody to like like we bought him whiskey. We sat in a strip club. We were this is at least what the reenactments showed. Like, oh, we were trying to like butter him up. And it was just all for nothing. What a waste of time. What a waste of time. And also like imagine being the family that now find out like this whole plan was for nothing and the killer is still just running around.

And it just took like weeks of this to get him to confess to something he didn't do. It just must be so frustrating. So talk about going back to square one. So the family at this point, I imagine, like you said, very frustrated, puts up a $10,000 reward for any information. But nearly two decades go by now with no answers so basically this two decades yep basically this mafia thing was like their last real attempt and then they didn't have any other leads and so almost two decades go by with no answers so at this point we fast forward to 2002 and minnie son, Dennis, hires two private investigators to help the sheriff's department reopen the murder case because they're thinking maybe these PIs will be able to invest more time and energy into this.

Sure. So the PIs work closely with investigators. They start looking back at all the early information. And that's when a former Lewis Countyis county resident named jason shriver comes forward and he says he witnessed something the day of the murders he was 17 years old and he has been too afraid to come forward until now oh shit okay so they interview him apparently he was on his on the way to get his wisdom teeth taken out oh god which i'm glad it was on the way there not the way back because i feel like they wouldn't have believed him if

yeah it's like you're tripping balls yeah yeah okay nice likely story bro but he was on his way with his mom to get his wisdom teeth out they were driving down highway 12 early in the morning when they noticed the marin's car driving very slowly down the road. So Jason and his mother passed them. And when he looked over as they were passing, he saw Mr. Marin driving with Mrs. Marin directly behind him. And then he sees two men in the passenger and back seats. And they are two men that he recognizes. Oh, okay.

Who are they? He says they are Rick Reifife and greg rife two brothers and when he sees them he waves because he recognizes everybody and he says i saw them we went onward and they waved back and then we went on our way okay after the murders the two brothers went and found 17 year old jason and threatened him with his life oh shit they said we know you saw us and if you tell anybody anything the same thing that happened to them will happen to you oh my god he said we'll kill your mom your dad and we'll kill you and so as a 17 year old kid he couldn't do anything yeah there's nothing he could do so he kept their secret and they drove by his house every single day

to keep the threat alive wow yep that's so i don't blame him i mean i i get it but i he well i don't blame him i wouldn't know it's too either especially at 17 I wouldn't have done anything it's terrible he's like I was just waving to be friendly now now you're suddenly implicated in this yeah so they circled his house every single day to just like let the threat sink in he said he lived in fear he wouldn't even head out to his own barn without a shotgun like he was just living in fear I. I mean, which I imagine, which I can only imagine. I can also imagine why it took him until he was like an adult to say something, because hopefully those people are gone now. Yes.

So that's a great point. And I'm going to get to that, actually. So two years later, the brothers actually skipped town and they ended up settling in Alaska. But people back home obviously are still living with this unknown in this case. It's been almost 20 years. And meanwhile, Jason reads an article about the family, the Marin family hiring PIs to help solve the case. And that's when he was like, okay, now's my time. They're still looking into this case. I got to come forward and tell them what I know. He said it was because now his mother had passed away. So he wasn't taking care of her anymore.

And he he said that their threat basically hung over him because he knew that they could target his mother. And now that she had passed away, he thought, well, I don't have to protect her anymore. I'm going to go forward and tell the police what I saw. Wow. Okay. So he asked for forgiveness from the Marin's kids for waiting for so long to give this information. And they said, you did exactly. That was really sweet.

The son of Dennis, the son minnie yeah cried in the interview and said you did exactly what i would have done to protect your family so they don't blame him for a second for keeping that to himself for so long they were like we would have probably just grateful that something happened oh my god well that's i'm glad that at least they're okay yeah yeah so i think he probably lived with a lot of guilt over that. But they said we would have done the exact same thing. So weirdly enough, the Reif brothers actually had been on the original suspect list because a witness even saw them spending money after the murders. Money that they didn't have. Oh.

So they just never had enough to pin them down and pin this on them. But now they had an eyewitness in jason yeah so the uh at the time of the murders the rife brothers actually lived only a mile away from the marines house and they were known to be prone to violence and now they had tried to disappear in alaska and investigators said well we need more to kind of track them down and take them in to custody. Okay. So they find an associate of the brothers named Dale Burris, and he had been too afraid also to share something that he'd done for Rick Reif before the killings. Oh shit. Rick had asked him to purchase a shotgun from a sporting goods store in Lewis County and then give it to

Rick. And so weeks later rick came back and returned it to him and it was now a sawed off shotgun and investigators were like well we've never revealed that information publicly so this is probably a solid lead yeah also yikes i can't imagine being told like hey go buy this gun and then give it to me and also like what do you do now you're afraid like oh this guy could hurt me if i don't like for sure obviously he's implying he will hurt other people so why wouldn't he be afraid of this guy of these brothers like people were so so afraid of them um because they were scary people also like i i go back on what i said earlier about

how like oh you can just tell when someone's creepy with their malevolent eyes. And now like, I totally take that back now. I feel like such an asshole. This is why I don't say things until I know the answers. Wait, no, that was the guy at the car. Oh, right, right, right, right, right. Okay. That was him.

Cause they just said, oh, we saw a dude walking from the car in the mall parking lot, holding something under a white sheet. Right, right, right. At first I thought it was the guy from earlier who was just looking for a job. No, no, the the description matched i don't know about the malevolent eyes but the curly hair and all that matched the drifter guy so they thought maybe it's him was not him but

they thought it's has got to be another curly haired guy with creepy eyes and so that's this guy yeah uh-huh i've been sitting on that for the last couple minutes being like oh man i feel really guilty about that no no that was i mean, they saw the guy who had just come from the murder scene. At least today it is real and right. Yeah. He was basically dumping the car filled with blood and walking away. So, yeah. God.

Yeah. So Dale hid the gun in his parents' house because he had a feeling that it was used to kill the Marines. And eventually his stepdad found the gun, was like, what the fuck is this? And he's like, we can't, like, this is dangerous. It's so-and-so's. I think it was used in a killing. So his stepdad threw it off a bridge into the lake. Holy shit.

So police were like, oh shit, well, let's go look in the lake. They dredged it multiple times but could never find the gun. So they were like, shit, we don't have never find the gun so they were like shit we don't have the murder weapon but they were able to convince dale to testify in court so now they have another witness here who's who's going to testify against the brothers but they still felt like they needed more witnesses so they took the black and white photos they had of the two brothers and they had them developed into color pictures. And when those were released, more people are suddenly starting to recognize them as the men they saw walking away from the Marin's car

in the mall parking lot. So now there are multiple witnesses saying, oh yeah, that's the guy with the creepy eyes that I saw walking away from the parking lot. So pretty wildly like twist of fate, the day investigators finally got their warrant, Greg Reif died of complications from drug use and diabetes. Oh, shit. So he died that day.

And the Marines always felt like he had escaped justice. I was going to say, I was like, that doesn't even feel good. How frustrating is that? Yeah. But detectives still had Rick to look for. So they traveled to the town of get this king salmon alaska sounds delicious sounds wonderful to search for rick so rick said lol never heard of them don't know anything about it and they were like we don't believe you we don't believe you and during the

interview they're sitting in his house and his phone starts ringing and he says i gotta take this and he's like yeah 12 chicken wings he's literally ordering chicken wings in the middle of this police interview and now they're getting pissed off they're like this guy doesn't even take this seriously like clearly if this were a real person who had nothing to do with the murders he'd be like concerned or at least have some reason to try and, you know, convince us that he's not the one who did it. But no, this guy just instead says, I never heard of it. LOL. Okay. I'm ordering chicken wings now. And they're like this fucking guy. And they noticed, go ahead. All I was going to say is that they noticed that he was very cold emotionless had no concern

whatsoever and he had he had very dead eyes boy there it is the eyes well also i yeah it's i feel like by trying not by trying to act like you don't care is just so much worse because like now you just look like a heartless maniacal person like now you look like someone who would do this normal to not care even if you didn't do it like you'd still be concerned if i found out someone died and i was a suspect first of all i'd at least show fear that i was like something put under the under the light and then i'd also be like um well like is everyone okay or like oh this guy like oh no i don't know what's going on but to not show any curiosity at the very least is so odd just cold dead eyes like you just told on

yourself yeah i feel like he just walked right into that and i guess he didn't seem to care because they just arrested him and charged him with two counts of first degree homicide plus burglary robbery and kidnapping and now this is where I tell you exactly what actually happened. So they finally got the true story of what happened at the trial. So what happened was brothers Greg and Rick were driving down the road past the Marin's house, chatting about needing money for drugs. They just glanced over, saw Ed and Minnie's house, and said, well, that's as good a place as any to steal from.

So Rick went and asked the neighbor for gas while casing the house. Remember how the neighbor said, oh, some dude was here like asking me for gas. Yeah. And was like staring at the Marin's house. So that was Rick. He was casing the house. Rick and Greg then went into Ed and Minnie's house on the morning of the 19th controlled them with the sawed-off shotgun while demanding cash and when they were like we don't

have cash they were like well then call the bank and tell them you're coming in to get cash and that like freaks me out too because it means that there were a couple chances where he could have like alerted somebody but he didn't want to hurt his wife yeah well the whole time i mean even when the second you told me that he was like going to get cash and there was someone in the car i was like oh he has to protect his wife he feels like he can't isn't that horrible like he like you said he's being held hostage and like he can't even do anything about it oh just sick it's terrible so they get them into the car they stayed in there with mrs marin while he went in to get the cash at some point they moved minnie to the

front seat and police believe that they shot her while the car was driving down the road and then shot ed in the back jesus christ killed both of them in the car dragged them out and then abandoned the car in the mall parking lot where several witnesses saw them walking away with their dead eyes away from the vehicle. Oh, man. So Rick Reif, he was found guilty on all counts and was sentenced to 103 years in prison for the murders. Man. Yeah. That's terrible.

How many years? 300? 103. 103. Okay. Yeah. yeah that's terrible how many years 300 300 103 103 okay yeah i mean i guess that's good but is it i would still feel like that wasn't enough considering that he still got to live his life for all these for two decades and his brother got didn't have to go to jail because he died it's all really fucked up and like at the very least they said you know a weight was lifted off their shoulders now that they've solved the murder of their parents. It's like you can only just be grateful for what you've got. There's only so much.

Yeah, there's only so much. And so, you know, they're thankful for that. But every time the holidays roll around and the Christmas party, you know, time, they just it must just be extra hard. So anyway, that's why I decided to tell everyone on christmas you're welcome thank you so much i really so welcome i didn't feel happy enough or sad enough or anything i just needed to feel so there was a little too much joy thank you yeah i'm glad you said it because i felt it okay good oh boy well yeah, I at least appreciate that it's a story that has an answer to the end. I like the mysteries selfishly, so I always think I'm going to be the one that solves it for some reason.

But I really, at least to know that the family can sleep with an answer. At least we know who did it. It just feels still cruel and random. It does, especially because it just ended up being they happen to be driving by it's like it's just a reminder that like you never know you just keep your eyes out when you were saying oh would you open the door for this horse skeleton i'm like i don't think so i don't think i'm ever you're the worst person to ask that question too because i don't think i'm ever opening the door ever again fair point good enough uh yeah i don't know i i feel like um it's just also since it is the holidays it's a good reminder that you know there are i don't know i feel like the holidays is a good

time to remind people that people are in town people like not so good people with not so good morals are aware that people are not in their homes or they're traveling and they're technically tourists. And so they might feel they might not know their way around as often. So just keep your eyes out, your eyes peeled, lock your doors, have security systems up if you're able to have those or do whatever you need. But the holidays can be a scary time for people. Yeah. And especially you know people are buying expensive things and keeping them in their cars or in their shopping bags or you know basements garages just be just keep an eye out and not to scare you but you know if you get in the car lock the door right away don't sit there with your car

unlocked you never know just saying you never know you never know you never know and that's our christmas message and that's our Christmas message. And that's why we drink. Yeah, that is why we drink. Great point. Well, if you are still interested in hearing from us and not hanging out with your family on this holiday, or maybe you're a divorced kid like me and you were in the middle of driving between your parents' homes.

Great point. And you've got something to do you know maybe tune into uh patreon we've got an after chat for you and uh merry christmas hopefully everyone is uh having a good time and yeah it's not too stressful for everybody this year we love you all very much and uh we hope you are looking forward to our chaotic episode next week that comes out in the new year and that's why we drink