And That's Why We Drink - E344 A Neon Parrot Beacon and a Hootenanny of Birds with Pigtails

Episode Date: September 10, 2023

Welcome to episode 344, we're being so cognito right now... First and foremost, Em takes us on a journey back to their hometown Fredericksburg, Virginia and the wonderland that is the store, Possum-bilities. Then they take us on a deep dive into the folklore of La Lechuza aka the witch owl. On the true crime side, Christine covers Ireland's most notorious murderer, Malcolm MacArthur. And how dare Christine jar us by reaching deep into our brains to bring up the very specific girls with fishtail french braids from the Klutz books that we could never do... and that's why we drink!We cannot encourage you enough to check out Possum-bilities in Fredericksburg, VA! And how kind of them to offer our listeners a 20% off discount on all retail items (excluding art) if you mention the podcast, in honor of our (Christine's and Eva's) love of opossums! https://www.awesomepossumz.com/ Check out the link Em and Christine talked about detailing egg cleanses! https://www.popsugar.com/smart-living/how-to-do-egg-cleanse-huevo-limpia-ritual-48963277

you beat me to it emothy my next my first question was what the hell is this it's been sitting in your home for like over a month now i feel like or something i don't know whenever you left for sweden i mailed it just about the day after i think no even before that i don't really okay i sent it the day how long ago was it when you texted me that your sister would be picking up your mail because that's how long it's been how long uh so long that i have no memory of that conversation but i guess it doesn't mean much. I will say I walked into my home and I found this box. Franziska

crossed out the return address, wrote M, then wrote, read the label. If you open early, M will come and beat you up. No touch. Only open when recording with M. And I was like, whatever. I don't know what this is my it was my sister's handwriting i was like what the hell is going on that was definitely some artistic license on her end um i never said what a shock i didn't fully threaten a beat up that would be too much of like a like a flight and hotel that's that's a lot to get to what about a hotel oh flight

it would just it would take a lot to get there you know we have great news i'm sorry this is such a diversion but it's so important i have uh it's worth it for you to come beat me up because there is a new place usually uh there's a specific place you stay and where eva stays when you visit me right uh there's a new location opening up up next door to that building or nearby it. Uh-oh. What is it? It's called... Well, can you say?

What? Oh. I was going to say, can you tell us? Shut up! I need a clean take. I need a clean take. Introducing Jimmy Buffett's Margaritaville and Resort, coming to Newport, Kentucky, 2025. Just for you!

I'm pretty sure I'm going to be the very first person moving in. And by moving in, I mean I'm getting the penthouse. I'm never leaving. You just texted, shut up. I was so mad at first I was like what a fucking stupid thing to put in my neighborhood and now I'm like you know what I'm gonna embrace it and drink margaritas and have a great time that honestly feels like um I mean that that's a beacon's going to know where I'm staying when I visit you. So you might as well tell everybody. We might as well. It's clear.

Okay, I was talking. I can't breathe. I was bitching about it in the mountains of Austria because I was like, I cannot imagine. I'm in this beautiful scenery and I just found out my brother kept cackling and I'm like, what? And he's like, guess what's coming to Newport? And I was like, what? I I was like it must be something bad and he's like it's a Jimmy Buffett Margaritaville great it's something great at first I was all pissy about it I will say they they did a bad bad thing and they did uh kick out a lot of low-income housing that was like very uh important to the area but honestly which jimmy

buffett margaritaville probably hasn't or or i don't even want to put it on jimmy but you know or james i should call him but any big resort thing i'm sure is not without its uh moral and ethical problems so you know it's worth mentioning but at this point, what am I going to do? I mean, I guess I have to go drink a margarita. It's quite a development, literally. I think I'm the only person who will ever say this, but I will make a plan to visit you just to check out the Jimmy Buffett Resort. I think you might not be the only. I think it sounds like you might be the only, and then as it happens, people are going to be like, actually, Em was on to something. I'll have the nerve to be surprised why other people are trying to book out the very first

night there. Em, it's crazy. It has like 250 rooms. It says it's going to have multiple restaurants, not just Margaritaville, multiple restaurants. I don't know. It sounds crazy. I will say I was kind of bitching about it, as I said, in the beautiful mountainscape of Austria. will say i was kind of bitching about as i said um in the beautiful mountainscape of austria and my mother-in-law was like yeah i imagine like in the morning in your bedroom like you open the blinds or or no sorry at night you're like going to sleep and this there's just this flashing and it's like the parrot like beaconing the stupid neon parrot and i'm like oh my god that's my future there's gonna be fucking like neon parrot flashing in my face i have you did you ever go to a cheeseburger in paradise i don't even know what that is oh i mean another song so he had it he's really also like of the business acumen it seems oh for

sure he's all over it he had a restaurant chain for a long time called cheeseburger in paradise where they sold cheeseburgers and the whole place was paradise themed it was amazing and that's like a very easy one-to-one uh business idea i feel like it was like it was like a no-brainer and so and by the way it was delicious and so um i used to have one uh in my hometown and then i guess it didn't do so hot whoops it's because i left i was gonna say yeah you probably brought all the business away well so I wonder if they're gonna revive that and have a cheeseburger in paradise in that hotel I mean probably it's in multiple restaurants and I was like what possible multiple restaurants okay that makes sense all of his yeah yeah they also he has a I think a bar brand named margaritaville oh yeah that one that

one I know is for sure because that's like the main chain. I've been to those before. Jimmy Buffet. It's going to be something else. And it's like right on the river. So people are going to flock to it. Christine, if one of the restaurants is not a Jimmy Buffet buffet, I'll fucking lose my mind. If the breakfast at the Jimmy Buffet resort is not a buffet style, they've done it so wrong. If they don't call it the Jimmy Buffet, i'm through with this world i'm through then you know what then first of all he's failed at business

and life if he does not come up with that second of all we have succeeded and we're gonna move in next door and open up the jimmy buffet give me jimmy buffet i need to talk to him i need also why isn't there like get james on the horn why on bob's burgers isn't there like a person named jimmy buffet to like make fun of jimmy buffet like he lives on the island good you know i mean there's jimmy pesto but jimmy buffet is maybe maybe that'd be a copyright situation yeah maybe it's copyright Maybe he has copyrighted Jimmy Buffet. I'm about to. I know.

If he has one, I will. Should we look it up? The internet says, did you mean Jimmy Buffet? I did not. I want to. No, I just want to eat at his buffet. Okay, wow. Well, thank you for the update. I am buying flights in 2025.

I knew it. I knew it. So anyway, I'm so sorry. I knew that was a diversion, but it was worth having, but that's, uh, that's the context of, you're not going to, you are now going to beat me up cause you have a place to stay. Um, but you're not going to beat me up cause I didn't open the box. I didn't even, I'm very proud of you for listening.

Yeah. So, um, this was a purchase and I want to preface, uh, I did get Eva the exact same thing and I have already had special i feel so special you'll understand why you'll understand um but i have already had her open it on purpose because i needed her to open hers before you so you opening it during the show didn't ruin the surprise for her oh okay so even knows what's coming. Why don't you just open her up? Okay, let me get a, sorry, elevator music. I need a knife. A dusty, rusty nail to scrape it open.

I need a rusty. Either you have a dull butter knife, a rusty nail, or a fucking box cutter. Like the sharpest one. I need a rusty staple that I found in the trash i'll be right back elevator music please stand by we have to step away and go get mine answer the door we just i'm sorry wow there were as soon as my butt did it as soon as christine left we had a lot of technical difficulties okay no it was i threw myself back on the couch and i think what i did is i hit my mic and maybe a button on my bluetooth

keyboard and everything just went haywire um well we already thank god we already addressed that elevator like we're coming back from elevator music literally like what a perfect segue to just shut down the show by accident um so i actually was very quick in retrieving my tool uh because i wanted to prove you wrong about fishing for a dirty staple in the carpet um so instead i found uh obviously a corkscrew um from trader joe's a classic from christine i also have a lot of tools for my cricket that are sharp but i feel like that might be more of a danger zone so i left those alone um okay so i should so i had a guess actually as to what this was em and i'm assuming i'm wrong because you said you got evo one too um but what my assumption was that you

got me one of those creepy dolls that got sent to our business manager by mistake oh no so this is a let's just put this way. Take a guess after I tell you this. Okay. This is something I got from my hometown. Oh, I know exactly what it is. I'm so excited. I thought a haunted doll was living in this box for like the last three weeks. No, it's more haunted to me. Oh, it's so much better and so much more cursed. No, it's more haunted to me. Oh, it's so much better and so much more cursed. Oh my god! You guys, it's my very own trick-or-treating bag with opossums all over it.

It's a Ouija board possum bag. It's Sesame the possum. I know, it's Sesame. Inside the bag is worse stuff. What is inside the bag? Shut up. Okay. Wait.

First of all. Okay. This is stuff possum wearing flannel. Okay. Let me just explain real quick. We've received a text from Em that said they were at the, what is the possum store called? Possumbilities? I'm going to do a whole little spiel after you open your thing.

It's called Possumbilities, and it is a possum marsupial themed store in my hometown of Fredericksburg, Virginia. And Em went undercover, sort of, like just like incognito. I didn't have the heart to say I'm not a possum fan but i did say two people that are very dear to me are massive possum fans so i have a serious question how did my mouse get into this bag like my like computer mouse it's like you were meant for sleight of hand you tricked yourself but i sleight of hand myself like i impress myself i love that a mouse was in a bag of possums i know that. That's really weird. Oh my gosh. So it's a bottle opener.

Or no, a bottle holder. It's a bottle holder. And it looks like a possum hanging upside down. Hanging upside down possum. This is the funnest little gift box. Oh, there's surprise. More surprises. A y'all means all possum sticker they're very queer friendly they're very oh i love that

you know um oh here we go a ouija board that says ah with possum hands on the planchette come on the possum terror and these are amazing this store is kicking ass um also this reminds me so much of the new orleans store obviously they have like a connection right like don't they have like a partnership or something is it with sesame or yeah yeah yeah because uh because coco alley vegan is the sesame so uh apparently in the possum world all the possums know each other that's what i was told so apparently they're friends with sesame's owner i like how my mouse just wants to be part of it, you know. This one says transphobes ain't welcome in this here town with a hedgehog. I might give that to my brother.

That's delightful. This is probably my favorite that I'm going to put on my computer immediately. It says digging for, it's a raccoon. It says digging for trash and compliments. I might put that on my computer immediately. Possum socks with little baby possums. This is just great. That's my favorite, the bottle holder, because it looks, it's a hanging possum.

And it's like clearly crocheted, like hand crocheted. Like this is fucking gorgeous. Wait, I'm going to put my liquid death in it. And the possum in its flannel, the little plushie it got you, apparently on its back. It says some phrase on it, I think. It says anything is possumble, some phrase. You mean my new life advice to everyone?

Anything is possumble? So, okay, here's the story behind all of this oh god do you know i can't believe i spent money to ship all the pain of suffering you must be going through right now delightful to me the love honestly the sacrifice also look at this hold on i mean there she is i have such a like artists and creative people are the backbone of this country. And you can put that on Christine 2024. Okay. Here's the story. What?

Oh. What the fuck is this print? Oh, my Lord. It's a Harry Potter possum. So there are um uh sorry i'm trying to i'm trying to get through all my sorry i can explain better no you're you're unfortunately very fine and very good um so basically i go to this i go home to visit my family and I, I'm trying to get to the spot so I can explain more about that print that I gave you. So I go home.

I already knew there was this possum store. I've discussed it before. And I, I'm walking around downtown. I didn't, it didn't even occur to me. I was walking past it. I was trying to like meet someone for like lunch or i think i was getting a haircut and i walk past it and i'm like well i've talked about this place on the show and my my step-sibling actually worked there at some point and so i was like i'm gonna go in and just see what this is all about oh my god christine

has it perched like a parrot on her shoulder um Oh, sure. It even has a little tail that I could hook onto myself. So I go into this store. And immediately, I'm telling you, I've never seen something more possum themed. And there were prints. There were backpacks. I almost got you a whole backpack that just had a random possum just sitting on the backpack like i uh yeah there i mean there was just there was i can't even get there's so much even i tried to explain about the coco alley they're like probably similar situation where you walk in and it's like you lose your damn mind like you lose your mind i think so

i and i so i go in and within about a minute of being there all of a sudden two people come up to me and they go are you on schultz and i went yes you've caught me red-handed not me so they were from ohio and they came up all the way to fredericksburg, Virginia to see this store that I'd mentioned on the show. And they happened to run into me in the store. The one time you ever went, by the way. Like the one day you happened to be in town. I mean, that's weird timing. And so I was like, you really hit the jackpot

if I'm the reason that you came here and now I'm standing in front of you. And so they watched me shop for you and eva oh my god and as they asked for like a picture or they said they said something like oh like you know they're very kind and sweet but it was obvious that they recognized me and the storekeeper heard this like overheard and came over and went i'm so sorry but you know who are you which humbled but um no i really i it's a stupid joke but um no she asked who i was i was like oh i you know i have a podcast and then she goes oh my god are you from and that's why we drink and i went yeah

and then she said you're the reason so many people have been coming into this store. Shut up. See what you did, Em? You tried to be a hater, a possum hater. And did she, she probably didn't even know that you're not into the possums. She did not know. I mean, she, like, again, like, I feel so weird about it now because she was so helpful and so kind. And as soon as she found out that, like, you know, I'd already talked about the store on our podcast and, you know, I was in was in there like all she wanted to do was like show me everything she's like look at all these bags look at what we've got look at this look like local artists made this thing she was very lovely so queer friendly i mean as you know by the stickers they

had like queer stuff everywhere it was very much a safe haven and um she was very everyone but people who don't like possums or queer people well okay fair point fair point and so uh but anyway she was very lovely and she said like ever since you mentioned it on the show we've noticed like a boost at our store and we didn't know where it was coming from. And a bunch of people kept mentioning your podcast when they'd come in. And so all that to say that I, I asked if there was any way that she could like, you know, return some sort of favor to the listeners. And so if you do go to possibilities now and if you mention our podcast,

then you will get a 20% off discount on all the retail. So not on the art because she has a bunch of local artists i actually don't know their pronouns i shouldn't be assuming but they have a bunch of local artists and um and so they just said like i can't give you a discount on that because i don't want to take away from others but for retail 20 off if you mention and that's that's delightful em what a beautiful this is the best sponsor we've ever gotten and i didn't think it would be uh you're doing um me either and so and i got to take a picture with the possum so every by the way they have marsupial mondays they have um where where they they always have a different possum in there that's like being

uh taken care of or like we're burying the lead m sends us a fucking photo holding different possum in there that's like being taken care of or like we're burying the lead. Em sends us a fucking photo holding a possum. And Eva, I don't think I've like I've I laughed so loud and hard because like of all three of us, the first one of us to hold a possum was not going to be you. And then like, lo and behold, we get a photograph and it's Em holding a possum. And I'm like, Em is in a weird sort of purgatory right now where they don't know how to say, I don't really want to touch this thing's tail, but it's trying to be a good sport.

Luckily, it didn't even occur to me. But because this little creature was like being taken care of and like healed back to health or something or is, you know, I didn't have to hold the possum. I just got to take a picture next to the possum oh i thought you held it okay okay never mind i thought that's what was coming and i don't know if like maybe the storekeeper could tell or like that was just the rule that like i wouldn't you know hold the possum i took a picture with the possum it was very close to my ears and um and looks i i'm smiling for you to be yeah you are you are uh it's a hilarious photo i was trying to be a good sport it'll be on instagram for you guys i'll actually you are

like grinning in this photo i knew how ridiculous the whole thing was i did pet him while he was sleeping um but he's like sweet he was very sweet i i am not a possum person but that doesn't mean i can't see the character and the possum was a very lovely moral being um but i i took a bunch of pictures of the whole store so we can post that to instagram later um and lord oh i wanted to tell you about the prints that the print that i got you because i got a different print so there are a bunch of different um possums like local possums that they take care of and during i think marsupial mondays they bring a different one in every time for you to like pet and take a picture with um so there's sweet pea the possum there's pork chop which i got eva a picture of pork chop there's panda nugget margo oliver and

i think there might be someone else but the i want to see the picture i gave you is of panda the possum oh and i think panda is the one i got to meet i think that's panda in the picture with me and it's so special and they also in case you're interested in going here, folks, they also have things like possum yoga. I'm not kidding. Stop it. They had a sign that said, meet Vega the turkey vulture on a certain day. Yes. And then they have education and adoption events for hedgehogs.

Like, I swear. I mean, wow, you really did a good thing. And they have the coolest art upstairs. It was all like some of it was like critter related and some wasn't. But it's very worth going. And, you know, especially in Fredericksburg, we don't have a lot of like unique, like small stores and small businesses. Like we have some, but nothing like possibilities. Yeah, like support small businesses is the best way to do it.

yeah like support small businesses this is the best way to do it anyway i really went on a very long spiel but um i i did say i was like if you thought you were getting business now wait until i do a whole spiel where i have we do an open presence so i love her they're very very lovely people over there even the possums are lovely despite me not totally being if it's not a dog or a cat i'm usually not a fan but the possums they were very sweet um so please go check them out and you know they could use your business so i love christine's rocking that's i think that is would you have a name for that one no does it have a name no i thought the No. Does it have a name? No. I thought the pink flannel was a nice touch, though.

I thought that was very you. It reminds me of Warped Tour. Yeah, that's what I thought. I'm going to come up with a Warped Tour related name. We'll shop it. We'll shop it. Anyway, that's why i drink and maybe whatever okay that's definitely why i drink but also whatever happened to my haunted doll that you sent to our business manager my mistake you know that's very interesting because they never even told us they've still never even said anything have they not to me yeah i think they just kept it maybe they thought

it was a gift oh and now they're like afraid to say something is that why they haven't been speaking to us for months yeah i don't know where that haunted doll went i swear i bought it and wait okay to the wrong address the plot thickens sorry i'm like eating almond butter the plot thickens eva says i literally asked for it so even went to their office by the way this is like our account like basically our financial people eva says i walked around their entire office looking for it and couldn't find it she disappeared she her two legs worked a little too well she ran off oh my gosh now i'm afraid she's like walking across the country for me looking for me i relinquish i don't even remember but i'm i'm out i hope if

she's looking for me i was like i'm out well anyway anyway with that um very long intro sorry everybody but if you're in the area or apparently from Ohio, people from Ohio were able to show up. So I think other people could probably. That's crazy. That coincidence of coming there and meeting you on the one day you happen to go into that store. Isn't that wild? It was bizarre. But it's definitely I mean, it was definitely worth it.

It's not even like a small store like it is a two floor. I think it used to be like a house or something. And the whole thing is like possum themed. It's very wild. Anyway, please go check them out. And with that, I've got a story for you, Christine. This is a kind of an urban legend. It has some like actual roots to it, though.

So I don't really know where it fits. But this is the story of La Lechuza, which is the- That sounds so familiar. It sounds a lot to me like La Llorona, but it's- No, but I've heard of La Lechuza, I think. So they're also known sometimes as the witch owl. Is that sparkly? No, but I like it.

Okay, well. I'm immediately intrigued. Well, let's crack into it. Oh, I'm sorry. Are we getting back to that? I tried to make it a thing for so long. Maybe that's what it was. I finally stopped and then you were like, now I'll do it.

It's only when I happen to have a an unopened can next to me that seems to be you would sometimes be like let's get into it and i was like come on am well i'm bringing it back temporarily maybe permanently probably temporarily because i've been looking for some new uh merch slogans no i'm kidding here's one my bevragino pellegrino is back for another episode so i'm vetoing that immediately why i think you just don't like that you didn't create it that's all no sure let's go with that so lalechuza uh is from mexican folklore um she's also seen not just around mexico but in southern california the rio grande valley of texas um she kind of apparently is popping around in a bunch of different spots so um lechuza is a spanish word for owl it is one of the many words for owl maybe that's why i know it maybe i just

have too many bird books oh i just like literally what's the what's a group of owls a hootenanny that's hysterical um thank you i don't know a hootenanny didn't we talk about this already not about owls oh a parliament oh my god so regal oh my god wow so wise and so regal i feel like that's part of giving themselves a little too much credit oh because they're so wise right a hootenanny is hysterical we have to thank you let's make a petition so uh lechuza is one of the spanish words for owl but cultures all over have some sort of like owl themed omen to you know their culture um so owls are often seen as like a dark creature or a mysterious creature or some sort of threatening omen it's seen in the bible it's seen in aztec and mayan culture

it's seen in pre-incan civilizations it's seen in ancient greece and ancient rome it's seen in pre-Incan civilizations. It's seen in ancient Greece and ancient Rome. It's seen in China, Egypt, Argentina, Korea. I mean, there's... Wow. Everywhere seems to have something about owls. In Mexican lore, barn owls are often most associated with the devil and evil magic. Oh. And allegedly barn owls and cats, I assume it's probably just all owls, but especially barn owls and cats can actually be witches who have made deals with the devil. That's so sad for them.

But okay. Imagine just being a fucking cat and you're like, yo, what? Leave me alone. It's like, it's not my fault. So although Lechuza literally means owl, la lechuza is a specific known figure sometimes she's considered a cryptid or an urban legend but she does have a long history with indigenous roots so this is again where i like tread lightly because you know there's only i don't i don't know where it ends and where the other begins

but you know so in more of the lore side of things lalachuza is often a barn owl sometimes just a general owl i've heard that it's either a jet black owl or a pure white owl so it seems like there's quite a spectrum here is a bird i even saw in one source that sometimes it's even an eagle in rare occasions oh come on like i like how in rare occasions it's a rarer bird but okay um so uh often a barn owl has very pale feathers and huge dark eyes and she can be a hundred percent an owl or she can be a hybrid of an owl and a woman with an owl's body and a woman's face with long white hair oh spooky she's known to be very large uh sometimes she's seven feet tall with a 15 foot wingspan so she's a big girl jeez and sometimes she can be i keep i'm gonna say the

word sometimes probably the most in my life today because. Okay. You can say, wait, here, try this. Occasionally. Every now and then. Thank you. Thank you. I really, I was that kid who actually brought a thesaurus to class because I just would just lean into one word and ride that high.

I remember when people would figure out that you could do right click like synonyms on Microsoft Word. And I remember there was one girl who had to be called out because she would write she would like just right click and then find like the most obscure word. And our teacher would be like, half the time, that's not even like what you're saying. You're just picking the longest word. She pulled the Joey Tribbiani. Yeah, yeah, yeah. She's like, this sounds smart. He said something and a he was like writing

a letter and he was trying to say like my heart's very full and he said like i have a an over saturated aortic pump or something crazy yeah yeah yeah it was like that and our teacher was like i know you're not writing this i know that's not a word you know and she's like yes it is well uh so insert sometimes every now and then occasionally uh just based on different like regions versions of the story lalachusa can sometimes be um can be a full owl of any kind apparently it can be a hybrid between a man or a woman and an owl sometimes they actually say that lalachusa is actually a shapeshifter who switches between human during the day and an owl that would explain some of the mix-ups or the confusion i guess yeah i think i

mean that of what doesn't logically make full sense it's still it's like oh they can walk around during the day unassuming and then at night you know right yeah makes sense she's also known as the witch owl but it sounds like that is not the phrase of choice because it implies that you can spot this person because of their like witchy stereotype because oh though so lalachusa is known to be for the most part an older looking woman um and kind of just has some like whatever the trope of a witch features what's warts green skin i don't know i don't know cool i it they don't actually say she has green skin i'm going off of the wicked witch of the west um but they say that she by calling her a witch owl it implies that you can guess who lalachusa is in her human form because she looks like a witch but it's more it's not about her looks it's more about like

her witchy capabilities and her magical powers and her the gifts that she has so anyone could be la luchusa it doesn't matter if she looks like a witch or not but to say and to say witch owl implies that you could clock them when you can't i see i see but you don't even know nice exactly so even though she's often described as an older woman anyone could be love the choosa and just it doesn't have to be a stereotype of the witch anything is possible you mean possible oh my god wait a second m it's possible you're so right i'm so glad that you have now made that motto your life's work well anything for a small business my friends so instead it's more that um lalachusa sometimes isn't even an actual owl but can

this is just another theory is that it's lalachza is not an owl but can possess owls to do her bidding okay um so it's kind of in the territory of like familiars yeah yeah and it's kind of in the territory of like an astral travel or something because in this version lala chuza just kind of lays down and meditates um until she is able to spiritually take over the owl while her body her physical body lays somewhere that's very cool and so but it's like any owl right it's not like a familiar where she has like one owl it's like exactly she's got to find an owl it sounds like she can take over any owl but maybe she's like walking in the woods one day and sees one she likes and she's like that's the one i'm going to take over every time.

So then maybe it becomes her familiar. But I don't know. Like if I don't know how animal consent works in that way. I look, I'm digging too hard into it. But yeah, wow. I was just like, could the owl chill with this? I don't know. In many stories, Lelouch is known to be very vengeful, very dangerous. But different regions all have different backstories for her.

So she is often seen as a scorned woman turned bad. Some say she was wrongfully blamed for a crime in her town. And the way that her community responded was that they killed her child. Oh, what? So I don't know what crime she committed but apparently it was enough for them to want to hurt her kid and so because of that one of her you know trademarks now is that she goes after other people's children oh she's especially known to take children who are out late when they're not supposed to be or she can even try

to draw them out so she can take the child for herself one story is that lala chusa sold her soul to the devil for some magical power which she now uses to take control of the townspeople in another version she was actually a good magical healer but because witchcraft was so associated with devil worship she ended up being punished anyway even though she was a good person and because of that the town came together to try to kill her and now she comes back as an owl to get revenge in a different version her child was killed by a drunk driver um and so this I think there's probably some this feels like a more modern version. Yeah. Because I think in these areas where this is the story, people will say don't drive drunk or Lala Juzza will come find you.

I see. I mean, that's actually a very good like moral of the story. Like, I'll go with that version if it if it does any good, you know? Yeah. Yeah. They say that her kid was killed by a drunk driver and so now as an owl at night she flies between different bars and lurks outside waiting for drunk people so she can attack them or something like that okay um while the choose was also said to be

drawn to negative emotions especially anger so if you are in a negative headspace she is more likely to come find you she will apparently lurk between like houses to see if there's any like arguments going on in the house or if she hears yelling she will approach allegedly if she goes to a house and here's a couple fighting if the couple comes outside at all during their spat before they've made up she will pick them up and carry them back to her lair which like i don't even know what this lair looks like is it a nest whoa i like hate to make this a connection but i just can't help notice it the story of the staircase murder where the woman was where the the defense was that an owl right hacked her and it got the husband off on the charge i don't know it's just interesting um yeah weird interesting just a thought i don't know where to go from there but i want to think about

it harder but i also have a podcast to record so i can't be silent like the never-ending problem you know with my thoughts um something to chew on after we're done recording uh if you want to get her attention apparently whistling will summon her which it sounds like you just have to be a drunk driver an unattended child or a yeller. Or mad. Yeah. But also if you want to get her attention and none of those things work, you can whistle. That usually summons her, especially if it's at midnight and you whistle three times. Oh, interesting.

Whistling has been said to be an omen way before this, so it's not much of a surprise that whistling is involved many cultures believe that nighttime whistling summons spirits um i know in like mountainous areas a lot of people that have lore say like don't don't whistle in the woods um also different regions think that whistling can summon the devil it can lure ghosts to follow you home it can attract bad luck. Some people have said if you whistle at night, then like your house can burn down or you lose all your money or someone's going to get sick. Why doesn't anyone warn me about this? I mean, I can't really whistle, so I'm fine.

But nobody warned me of that. It's a gift that I don't know how to whistle because I'd get myself into some trouble. Me too. I'm like, thank goodness. I had a teacher in seventh grade that man could whistle like it was no one's business i still think about it he he would come to school covered in feathers and it looked like he lived in a lair of an owl i don't know how it's happening i didn't particularly like him which was so weird because he was like the popular

teacher because he was like 20 he was 23 he looked like a lax bro and he probably was five years before the popular teacher because i was like oh god they think they're so cool he knew he was cool he knew he was the favorite especially amongst like all like like the lax bro seventh graders like they all thought he was so cool and i did not really care for him at all but um man he could whistle man he could whistle i still think about like his whistles had like a vibrato to it and he could like he had a wide range he could whistle anything i was just amazed oh i still think about it it's like 20 years later um i can tell i'll never be a whistler like him so So some believe that whistling in some way is dangerous if you do it at night. And a lot of people think that whistling can be a general warning of like an impending disaster, which we covered this in the Haunted Mines episode where people would hear whistling right before a mine would collapse or explode.

Oh, that just gave me the creeps. And I don't whistle reminds me of interestingly like kind of going off that is right before an explosion or a bomb like the whistle sound like a firework or like a dropping bomb like that kind of like whistle sound yeah like that to me like makes me tense up like something's gonna go boom you know so i wonder if that has anything to do with like the lore of whistling i don't know no that's interesting because that is that does imply impending doom i mean right that's what the wily coyote sounded like falling off oh true yeah true yeah that's interesting i wonder if if people know that connection or if we're just

chew on again to chew on are we discovering a connection i like to think we're capable i like to think so um some people also believe that la luchosa can also control the weather or create warning or create or warn people of storms which again brings us to one of our very first rituals episodes may she rest in peace rituals um that we talked about weather witches and how witches were known to control the weather so it's interesting that this new witch owl has the same type of very interesting connection one story of lalachusa controlling not controlling the weather but warning of it uh this is like I guess it's not very modern it's not very modern now because it's 2023 but to me it feels very like up and coming

news but this is in the the 90s early 2000s uh because a nine-year-old was at home watching Spongebob which oh the first feels very modern to me too're old. I've never heard a more current storyline to a haunted story. An urban legend. Yeah. So nine-year-old is at home watching SpongeBob. Like you just referenced Wile E. Coyote. I'm on a roll.

Wow. So, uh, watching SpongeBob and they heard a noise outside and thought it was their dad coming home. So they go outside to like, a noise outside and thought it was their dad coming home. So they go outside to like, you know, see what's going on and goes outside and on their picnic table sees this owl staring at him. And for like a very long time, like several minutes long. And then the owl flies away.

This kid thought that maybe the bird was there as a warning. They told their grandma about it and their grandma freaked out and thought like, oh, that's La La Chuza. Yeah. And the kid was like, oh, maybe it was a warning because it didn't hurt me. Very soon after this, though, a storm came in and damaged everything but the house and the picnic table the owl was sitting on. Oh. and the picnic table the owl was sitting on oh so while being associated with whistling um just get back to that lalich is said to try and trick people by whistling first so that maybe they'll whistle back to her so which sounds very similar

to our least favorite thing in the world when When a spirit is mimicking someone's voice, you recognize. Horrible. Horrible. I hate it. Gives me chills. So if you ever hear someone whistling at night and the song doesn't finish, it might be a trap. If you think you need to be the one to finish the song. Because I can't whistle and I'll be like, forget it.

Yeah. Do you think the whistling has to sound like a whistle or do you think the effort of wanting to whistle is what summons her? How tone deaf can you be to participate? Yeah. Does it need to sound good? Am I safe? Or is it if I wanted to whistle and I'm just manifesting, I'm just putting in the gusto to try and whistle, am I now not safe? Is it just I wanted to whistle and I'm just manifesting my like I'm just putting in the gusto to try and whistle. Am I now I'm not safe.

Is it just the air. Do you need the high pitch or you just need someone wanting the high pitch. That's an excellent question. I'll talk to her later. So even if there's not any whistling nearby or like like we said earlier, unattended children or negative emotions. Lalitza can still attack people. It doesn't have to be one of those three things that happens. She will go after whoever she's feeling vengeful for.

Maybe if she's really child hungry. Oh, God. I mean, she's been known to try to go after babies that you know just by grabbing them up with her talons and i don't know what she does with people after she's grabbed them like is this just kind of like a game of catch and she's right like they go to the lair and then what like she's like cards like what happens yeah she will not only whistle to try to make people finish the whistle and thus accidentally summon her but she'll also make baby crying sounds so people leave their homes to investigate that's

bad that's not fair and if for some reason you hear the crying but you don't see her then maybe she wasn't there to hurt you but she was still there to forewarn you of imminent doom this reminds me of a banshee a little bit it's like yeah do we like her do we not like her is she mean or is she just warning us you know i don't know yeah is she a girl boss is she just lonely is she a girl boss or is she just lonely a memoir you could be a lonely girl boss. Yeah. True. All of the above. She's, yeah, I don't know. Again, something else to ask her later when we stop recording. Okay, great.

When you guys are playing cards in the lair. I'll whistle to her and she'll give me a free ride over to her lair. That's nice. So she will pretend to cry so that people will come out so she can grab them. But like i said if you only hear her and don't see her it might just be a like some sort of omen and if you dream of her that's another omen where she might be warning you about a death coming your way uh if la luchosa wants to be particularly aggressive with somebody she will literally fly after cars and then oh no even i

don't know if it's telepathically or magically but she will mess with people's cars so that way they have to pull over she will swoop in front of your car in owl form to make you swerve off the road but she will do what she can to make you be alone on a dark road at night. So if a bird has ever done this to you, it might be La Luchosa. Uh-oh. One night there were three women who were driving when a massive owl swooped in in front of their car, circled the car and did it again and kept swooping in front of their car until they finally pulled over. Oh, my. And the woman, which I feel like maybe the bird was just like into the light or something. I don't know.

But kept circling this car. Weird. They pull over and the car ended up stalling out. Basically, they just sat there and they did not get out of their car. I don't know if they'd heard the story or they were just afraid to get out of their car on a dark road. But only once the owl flew away did the car start itself again. And they were able to drive home. But like, what was the problem?

Like, what did it... I think maybe it was hoping they would get out of the car to investigate and then come back. But because they stayed inside, the bird gave up and the car started again. Yeah, I wonder if they were drunk driving. Because that seems to be one of her pet peeves. Interesting. Interesting. Another time there was a couple driving at night and their windshield wipers turned on by themselves.

One guy who'd heard the story said, oh, it must be La Luchusa. And as he said that, the couple drove by a big owl sitting on the road staring at them. Ew. If you don't get out of your car, she can't get you, just like those three women. But in other places, she might try to fight her way to you if she thinks that she can still get into an entrance. So she's been known to flap her wings and scratch at doors to get inside. So a lot of people have said if you see unknown scratches on your front door, that means La Lucho was there trying to get in. Ooh.

Which is like somehow a nicer story to me than like someone was breaking into your home. Exactly. Like it could be something so much worse scratching your door. This is why, like this is not a sponsor, but this is why ring doorbells are probably important. I was about to say, now that we have these video doorbells, man, I hope we catch that little chickadee. Yeah, if anyone has a ring doorbell with footage of an owl trying to break into your house, you might be onto something. Yeah. If there are windows, so she can't get through the front door, there have been times where she's tried to break in through windows and often does this apparently at nurseries to try to get babies.

Ew. She needs to get it together. I've also heard specifically that it is unbaptized babies. Oh, come on. I know. Always got to bring them in. Don't bring me into this. Don't bring Em into this.

I'd do anything. Or Leona, I guess. There are many stories of enormous owls breaking into closed windows to scratch up babies because they're trying to scoop up the baby and can't grab them and keep scratching so horrifying so how do you get rid of lalo chuzo if you see her and this is where i tell you your baby that's one don't drink don't yell don't whistle it sounds like we've already figured this out i feel pretty safe i can't whistle i don't have a baby i don't drink i i don't yell too often unless it's about like jersey shore it's not fair i'm pretty free from her i think we're okay um but unfortunately if you are trying to get rid of her this is where i warn you that apparently anything you do to her she does to you

and it actually sounds worse than that it sounds like anything you do to her she does to you and it actually sounds worse than that it sounds like anything you do to her is a reason for her to just kill you on site so cool there are accounts of people trying to shoot at her but she deflects bullets so fun fact she's bulletproof um right and then the people who shot at her died the next day like out of nowhere so sounds like she won yeah that sounds like a bad trade-off there's another story of a guy named mr contu who uh saw an owl following his daughter and he thought that she might be bewitched he really took a lot of leaps there with his the owl not his daughter right he thought his daughter might be bewitched because an owl was

following her oh okay okay so it sounds like this guy was just looking to shoot at something because he tried shooting at the owl after that he thought maybe the owl was bewitching his kid tried shooting at the owl to get this spell broken and he used a bullet which this is some dedication he carved a cross into the bullet okay how long was this owl following his daughter apparently long enough he could cry like carve a little cross and then to say fuck you witchcraft he ended up trying to shoot this owl. And he hit the owl in the wing and brought it home. No.

And then when he got home, he saw that the owl had two braids of human hair running down its back. And its beak was actually a human nose. First of all. I'm sorry. First of all, why do you have to catch an owl to be able to see that it doesn't have a fucking beak? That it has like braids, like pigtails? I mean, come on. This fucking owl has pigtails and he's like, sorry, I shot at it before I realized.

I can't do this. This is like one of those bad taxidermy accounts you see where like they just glue on some human hair it's like an etsy furby project yeah those creepy models i i mean i feel like i could be on the other side of like a football stadium and notice if a bird had a human nose and pigtails but he just had to be sure somebody drop picture of that please oh that's good i like it someone do a loose recreation like someone just like throw some pigtails onto a google image like stock photo of an owl and a human nose by the way it literally sounds like those like we love the moon guys what love the moon uh guys what what we love the moon that doesn't help that doesn't make it more understandable what are you talking about oh fine i'll say it in a language you understand those quiznos monkey things the quiznos monkey things but they were before quiznos decided to

to try to sell out to quiznos but they sing, they would play banjo and go, We like the moon because it's very close to us. Immediately I know so much more about what you're talking. Okay. I didn't know. And all I saw was you go, We love the moon. And I was like, that's a troll.

That's a troll. That's a crazed person in the middle of the night. Okay, I'm on board. Okay, anyway, this little birdie's got two braids. The two braids are crazy town. And a human nose, which begs the question. I mean, at this point, she's got a whole hairdo going on. Is her human nose, which begs the question. I mean, at this point, if she's got a whole hairdo going on, is her human nose, like, is there, like, a little ring in there? She's got a septum, like.

Is that why she can whistle so well? She just goes, like, hold someone's nostril. Also, like, who braided her hair? I want to know. Yeah, that's the magic. Who the fuck braided that hair? Because I doubt that her little talons could figure that out. I don't think any bird's wings could figure that out, which means it had to have been that girl.

She was probably following the girl home who did her damn hair. Oh, shit. They were having a slumber party. Okay. It makes a lot more sense now. She got shot by her dad, her friend's dad. Jesus. She gets shot by her dad, her friend's dad. Jesus.

So he shoots the bird down, hurts its wing, and drags it home, ties the owl to a tree out back. And then the next morning, the owl's gone. And so he's like, what the fuck happened? And the neighbors say that other owls helped free it, which I'm wondering, are those like her girlies? Like, is that the squad? And do they also have braids? Yeah, what? like are they the ones who do they have fingers to undo the rope and also braid her hair like tell me what's happening oh yeah like apparently just

a bunch of other birds you know who who i'm envisioning birdie from mcdonald's remember like ronald mcdonald's old like friend group wait so this is like a whole parliament i'm sorry a whole hootenanny of birds with noses and pigtails like what is what okay they saw what one of their homegirls was in trouble so they came came flying down together they set her free oh my god and then guess what the daughter died a few days later what the one that the bird was following and so horrible so after all this the dad didn't even do it so get this this is the most fucking like patriarchy thing i've ever heard in my life so this to recap this girl she found a bird they became best

friends she did the bird's bird. They became best friends. She did the bird's hair. They're like best friends now. Cute. They're hanging out together. Landmash. Probably gossiping on their way to Starby's. Bam.

Dad shoots the bird in the wing. Fucked up. Fucking holds it hostage. The bird escapes. The daughter dies. I'm assuming of a broken heart. also realistically in the in the culture and then in the world of this maybe the bird was an omen in some way to warn her like girl you're gonna die or this is a punishment now for him that he lost his child now and then the dad apparently after

this is so distraught that his daughter has died that he studies owls and magic and helps cure others that are cursed by lechuzas so explain to me how he was so fucking scared for his daughter that he whittled across into a bullet and shot a bird because he thought it was magical and then goes on to study magic and becomes this well-known healer that helps others cursed by lechuzas okay but it sounds almost like he's more not studying magic in like the good way it's like he's like i'm gonna just cure people of magic it sounds like he's saying this is like bad sorcery and i'll fix it with religion or something like doesn't it sound more like he's like anti-magic and he's just trying to squash it i see i don't know i mean i don't know i still hate it that he becomes a well-known healer specifically in this department oh okay um and then eventually

he ends up dying and we have there's no like cause there's no reason to this he just dies in this story and the story goes that a bunch of lachuzas got together and killed him because they were tired of him trying to kill them i mean how you okay serious question i feel like someone really took a leap with all this yes yeah you don't say um i just can't understand how an owl i i imagine when an owl would kill you like its talons but then also its beak but if it has a nose made of cartilage like that limits its attack capabilities in my mind and now it just has to whip you with its braids and like claw you i guess the talons probably hurt whips you know like hair whipping you can hurt man but also you right, because like if I ever headbutted someone with my nose,

I'd be the one in pain. Not bad news. Bad news for you. And also the story goes that he died because he must have been killed by a bunch of Lachuzas. It's like, wouldn't they have killed him the second he tried to shoot at one of them? Yeah.

And like held one of them hostage. Whatever. Whatever. So that's a fun little story for all of us. There's one story, too, where one man was driving when La La Chuza swooped too close to his truck and hit his windshield. And I guess this guy knew that it was La La Chuza on the hunt.

He runs the owl over and like as like in a horror movie backs up hits the bird again to make sure that she's really dead because he thinks it's lalachuza in hindsight could have just been an owl and wow that's animal cruelty um this is from a podcast called mexico unexplained so he hits hits the bird, reverses, hits it again, which if this were actually an evil human being trying to hurt you, that was the right move. If it's an owl, no. No.

Wrong. So, however, the owl apparently still gets up completely unharmed and flies away. the owl apparently still gets up completely unharmed and flies away but i guess as a like this was obviously la luchusa and not just a normal owl as the bird gets up and flies away the driver instantly suffers a heart attack and dies oh my god so wait how do we even know then how do we know the passenger a passenger on the car told the story. The passenger's like, I was just witnessing this whole thing. Yeah.

Talk about double trauma. Traumatic event. Oof. So in the 1970s, Lollachooza was said to actually try breaking into a woman's house when all the neighborhood dogs chased the bird away. a woman's house when all the neighborhood dogs chased the bird away and the next morning i guess as punishment for trying to chase off lalachuza every dog in the neighborhood was dead oh i mean wow these are like extreme reactions all these people and creatures are having well so then here are some ways that if you were actually to run into Lelouchuza, this is how you might be able to defeat her. This is just three different ways.

One of them is salt. They say that if you leave salt by your entrances, then she can't break into those entrances. Some people say cuss at it until it leaves, but that feels like you're asking for... You can't whistle, but you can cuss like yeah right and she's like damn the one thing i'm impervious to they got me uh like it's like swipe or no swiping he's got oh shucks damn it i mean dang it yeah um the other thing is a lot of people say that you can go to a curandero which which is a traditional healer in Mexico. And their practices have roots predating any colonization.

So it goes way back. They're also known to treat anything from physical to spiritual situations. And they can ward off bad spirits or break curses. They have some practices with eggs, right? Yeah. or break curses they they um have some practices with eggs right yeah yeah i've heard i've heard even like um i one of my friend family friends out here i'm friends with a whole family of uh like people that like all their grandmas say that like there's like something with eggs to like suck out bad spirits and bad energy and yeah so i and because one of them was talking about and i was like what that's crazy and then like and then like yeah everyone

showed up and they were like you're the crazy one for not doing that so i was like okay yeah so apparently eggs are a thing um i don't know if it's like the shell traps bad energy inside or something but people like will rub egg on themselves. Well, so I've heard of it almost as like a fortune telling or not fortune telling. Like a diagnosis almost. Oh, interesting. Yeah, I've heard of stories, I think on Spooked podcast, which is one of my favorites, by the way, you guys are so good. spooked podcast which is one of my favorites by the way you guys so good um they were telling a story where somebody told a story where they had a uh an egg like they had this performed on them

and then when they opened the egg there was like a dead mouse inside or something and the healer was like um you're in fucking trouble like crazy shit like that or like the egg was like black inside or just like creepy things like they have you bring the egg and then like they use it on you and they can tell anyway it's really fascinating stuff i'm looking it up right now so there's egg cleanses that relieve negative energy um a family's holistic healing and cleansing practice my grandmother called me to treat the unbroken egg in conjecture with a prayer yeah there's sorry there's too much to like get into it here but there's a whole thing on nursing here cleo.org it's called oomancy oomancy um or ovomancy divination by eggs um so you essentially can either read the shapes sort of like tea leaves but like the shape of of a yolk or an egg white

oh there's also okay so this is from popsugar.com but it's also uh latina brujas guide to an egg cleanse yes an egg cleanse is a pretty straightforward ritual that packs a lot of power. In Latinx culture, an egg cleansing is deeply rooted in respect for its ability to remove dark and dense energies. The process can be performed by a healer, spiritual practitioner, or even yourself, or apparently your grandma. You don't need to have superpowers to start incorporating these little cleansings. Oh my God.

Can I read this? Sorry. I feel like this relates to so, or like reverberates probably with so many of our listeners. I know we've had people write in about like egg cleanses and things and tell us in person. It says you've likely landed here because of some childhood nostalgia. You've recently recalled a past memory of your abuela or a family member who used to perform the egg limpia on you and all your primas you have no you had no clue what was happening or had any feeling that it was brujeria

or negative it was just a thing your family did which i'm like that feels like something in my family where i'm like oh that's just not the egg but something different like oh i don't know we just did that that also makes sense because the first time i ever heard about it with my own friends half of them were like i don't know why we did that. But then the other half were like, oh, it removes evil. And I was like, holy shit. OK. The other ones were like, oh, OK.

Like nobody ever asked what's happening. It is believed that the egg is a capsule that absorbs negative energy from the body and aura. This is why the egg is rubbed all over the body while performing actual rituals and worked over specific areas of ailment i think it's so so cool the egg is a vessel think of the egg as a divination tool the egg is going to energetically absorb all the unwanted energy and reveal if it was successful successful or not and then it goes on to i think show you how to do it yeah how do how do you prepare for an egg cleanse how to prepare wow okay so anyway everyone go listen or read that article if it's of interest that is really cool anyway so maybe that's something they also do i'm not too sure but i'll put the the link to that in the chat so we can add it to the show notes yeah yeah perfect um go to a curandero they help treat anything from physical to spiritual

they can help uh ward off spells you can also recite special prayers um and some have to actually be recited both forward and backwards um and different religions used or not different religions different regions use different prayers some are actually even closed practices that only that community knows about another way which is interesting is if you apparently tie seven knots in a rope and hang it on your door which apparently is a sign of respect and if you're ever face to face with her people People have also done the Catholic prayer, the 12 truths while tying a knot into a string. Oh, you do that every time you recite each truth. So it ends up being 12 knots for the 12 truths.

Okay. Here's a story. In 1908, there was a guy named Antonio who was farming in the Rio Grande Valley. And a new guy from Mexico was vomiting blood at work but only on Thursdays and Fridays which like I don't understand that it's called uh taco Tuesdays catching up with you you know um yeah I don't know if there's like some sort of like religious meaning behind Thursdays and Fridays but I like it's like coming up on the weekend i'm vomiting blood it's too bad so another guy named francisco he said oh this man must be under the spell of

someone from his old town so i francisco i am now going to do a ritual on you to heal you so on friday i guess the day that he's throwing up blood, the other guy, Francisco, goes to a farm and gets horse hair. The next day, he tied 12 knots into the hair while reciting a prayer between every two knots. So he tells a prayer, knot, knot, tells a prayer, knot, knot. And while doing this, he is walking towards a tree where he sees two owls sitting in it thinking i guess the lachusa might be involved okay once he gets to the base of the tree he

ties the last knot um in this hair and when he tied that last knot the owls drop out of the tree oh no so sorry to report this but francisco then takes a stick and beats them to death i'm sorry i'm sorry i'm sorry jesus christ i mean like they're already dropped out of a tree like i think they're probably struggling enough but didn't it already work yeah yeah francisco francisco then tells the man who was vomiting blood hey i've I've done half the ritual. Now your job is to go home, build a fire, take all the ash and move it to the side. So that way there's like a hole in the middle of the. So there's like an open center amongst the ash. OK.

Take all your clothes, put them in that little center, recover, re-scoop all the ash into the center and cover your clothes. Burn the clothes. Recover, re-scoop all the ash into the center and cover your clothes. Burn the clothes. After that, the man then is told he has to go all the way back to his hometown in Mexico and burn whatever clothes he had there. Because there couldn't be anything attached to him after this. Okay. The man does all this.

And after the ritual is complete, he never vomited blood at work again. First of all all maybe because he was afraid he'd have to do that whole fucking ritual again yeah he's like i didn't do i didn't vomit at all uh yeah i was just vomiting normal there was no blood i promise right like i can't imagine it's like i can't take more time off of work to go back to mexico to do part of this like i have to be here and i'm gonna throw up this is my new job and i'm going to be fired um please leave me alone also like maybe he never threw up blood again because he just after the weekend was like fucking fine like maybe i'm not saying the ritual did or didn't work i'm saying though like there are other way other reasons why maybe he never like perhaps yeah

it's like the old timey um stories of, oh, well, if you take this like this crazy chemical liquid for 14 days, you won't have a cold by the end. And it's like, yeah, because 14 days later, the cold is gone. Yeah, it's magic. No. And I'm not trying to also bash this ritual practice at all. I'm just salty that he beat two birds to death and I'm not happy about it. And I feel like I didn't need to go that way. You know, death um and i'm not happy about it and i feel like it didn't need to go that way you know that's what i'm saying i'm like it's it's not that the ritual dinner

didn't work i'm just saying there could be other circumstances for why it didn't happen again yeah perhaps um another story is that from the early 1900s a woman used to turn into an owl at night and fly around practicing witchcraft. And the neighbors wanted that to stop. So they were like, we're so tired of this. Why is that so funny? I don't know. So they got together to pray her down.

Oh, like from the sky where she's flying around, they got underneath her while she's like flying in a circle. And they literally, literally somehow in this story, prayed her down, like, like her, their prayers tugged her back down and like gravity defying oh it is like this that that song from wicked yes she like a witch so when she finally is tugged all the way back down to the ground she becomes human again their prayer is so powerful wow that's amazing the power of prayer you know what i mean tmp it works uh she becomes human again starts begging for mercy and says i have a kid i promise i'll never practice witchcraft again and so they

spare her and then apparently the epilogue is that her son ends up growing up to do witchcraft, which is hysterical to me. Oh. So that's another story. You might know if someone is Lelouchusa if an owl is hit in the wing or the leg or somewhere on their body. And the next day, a woman in town has the same injuries in the same spot. So that's how you know. That's how you know. Legend also says that owls gather in groups of seven no more than seven apparently seven is the max no more in the hootenanny there's no more room

seven per hootenanny um and they get together and i love this is so like girly energy apparently the legend goes that owls gather together in groups of up to seven to discuss important matters. Like, I love that. Just like gossip hour. That's called the parliament, though. Like, that one's not the hootenanny. Like, the hootenanny is after hours. Well, it depends on if they're talking about politics or if like they're a little fucked up, you know? Yeah, exactly. Hootenanny is for card game time. Yeah. If they're a little fucked up, that's a hootenanny. But if they're like talking about like the things are serious right now.

If they're a little fucked up, that's a hootenanny. But if they're like talking about like the kings. Things are serious right now. But anyway, apparently the more owls in a group, the more dangerous they are. Which truly does just sound like a mean girls squad. Like the more mean girls in a group of mean girls, the more dangerous it can be for you. Like for sure. And I'm threatened just thinking about it. You know, I feel threatened.

Think about a hootenanny of like seven 13 year olds. would not fucking get near them think about how many braids between them so many braids and they're all french braids and they're all fishtails they're all the cool ones from the klutz book that i never learned how to do the klutz book why did you just why did you first of all how dare you know know in your heart that we all know what you're talking about without any questions because you've deeply triggered me with your comments on mean girls i can't get over it klutz book truly how dare you that was that felt that felt so fucking violating to like a pole i'm sorry that was really bold of you to assume i wouldn't it's like you i didn't give you consent to reach into the folds of my brain like that sorry it was like a lot to throw at you

i'm sorry you just said klotz buck and all of us kind of went ah i'll warn you next time okay i'm sorry so um uh another story of is that a farmer once heard laughed this is from uh if the hootenanny of seven owls are how dangerous they are numbers right one farmer once was walking by a tree and heard laughter coming from the tree turned to look and saw a bunch of owls laughing out loud together and he took off probably again is that not mean girl energy like yeah you know it is like they're clearly laughing at you not with you and that's hurtful if i were at a starbucks right now and i saw three teenagers laughing and then i looked over and they looked at me and kept laughing i would literally just fall off the face of the earth literally my heart just sank into my stomach like i'm scared of that so owls are mean girls but like we kind of love that for them unless like you're the victim

you know right um i'll stay far away but good for you yeah exactly so uh if lovely chisels are actually owls that are possessed remember they're the one theory is that right someone is possessing them versus being a shapeshifter witches so it's in there and one of the thoughts is if you kill the owl being possessed you will also kill the witch at a remote location that's possessing it okay so that's one of the ways that's why everyone's killing all these fucking birds and like hitting them with their car and beating them with sticks it's because they want to murder people got it bingo you nailed it nailed it um so if you try to kill an owl and or if you do kill an owl and someone in your town dies mysteriously that same day they might have been a lalachuza and you didn't know interesting i feel so stupid by i think uh lalachuza i know how stupid that is

um in the 1950s, locals were trying to kill Lollachusa in their town and did it by using a child as bait. Oh, Lord. Um, and it came, when the owl swooped down, they tried to shoot at it, but it survived.

Oh, my God. And the next day, they went to the house of the woman they thought was Lollachusa, and she, in fact fact did have a bandaged leg so but like if you well it's just like classic like see it's the most like self-fulfilling prophecy or whatever that's called yeah it's like circular thinking and so i don't know but also if you were trying to kill lalachuza and you knew she was La La Chuza, why don't you just kill her since you're so cool with murdering for no reason?

Right, since it doesn't seem to matter. So despite stories of La La Chuza being evil, some say that she stemmed, most say she stemmed from indigenous people's spirituality. And some say in particular, it's indigenous people's spiritual partnerships with animals such as owls oh okay um and that's where the beginning of this all comes from so in this theory uh when the spanish colonized and enforced catholicism on mexico they also condemned indigenous spirituality um therefore uh relationships with animals became a bad thing. And the association between animals and spirituality ended up warping into something very dark. So once the associations were set in place that the devil is like in cahoots with nocturnal animals, then owls became omens and lalachusa became evil yeah um but keep in mind owls were seen as omens across multiple cultures even pre-colonization so some think that this theory isn't right because owls being bad has been a thing since before this um or owls being scary

and dark in some way has been a thing forever so it's unsure if lalachusa was good pre-colonization and then twisted into something else or if she was always ominous but some say that owls can be both good and bad and either way lalachusa is um someone many cultures and legends say to be on the lookout for so that is l luchosa whoa what a freaking doozy um it's a good one i swear you said the word i was like i feel like i've heard of that i did not know all of that for sure um that was news to me oh well i'm glad i could give you something to chew on you did i am um reeling a little bit that was uh that was quite a lot of chaos that just happened in the last hour um well i have to tell you um that i have probably one of the wildest stories i've ever covered i think i love when you have wild stories it is like

i just don't even know where i'll just begin i was gonna say i don't know where to begin so i'll just begin okay that's usually how it works oh yeah that's usually that usually does the trick so let's let's hope this is the story of malcolm mcarthur okay malcolm mcarthur's grandparents moved from scotland to county meath ire in 1906, and they had actually come from wealth. And when they moved, they purchased a 180 acre estate. kind of had a hard time inserting themselves into the new community. Nobody knew anything about them. This was kind of olden days where you couldn't just hop on Bumble BFF and make a pal. So it was a struggle to get acquainted with their neighbors. So Malcolm, who was born in 1946, grew up as a pretty lonely child. He did not have many friends. His family didn't have many friends and his parents were very busy.

So the estate's housekeeper spent a lot of time raising him. When his parents did, however, pay him notice, it was almost worse than when they ignored him because his father was very violent and beat Malcolm often and once so severely that he needed stitches. So although his grandparents had come from wealth, the family's wealth had dwindled over the generations. So even though he started in private school as like a young boy, as he got older, he had to be pulled out of these lavish private schools with children of lords and politicians and ended up going to just a local school near his home and even though he got along

with his classmates and they liked him fine enough he just wasn't very sociable and in photos that you can see he never seems to be standing like with a group of friends it's sort of like he's just kind of there it's a little bit sad like you can tell he's like with a group of friends it's sort of like he's just kind of there it's a little bit sad like you can tell he's like in the group or the club but he's kind of like not that's like them one of the worst feelings like you're you're physically next to people but just mentally totally on your own yeah and it's like it's not one of those classic bullying things like they did include him. He just wasn't really connecting. Connecting. Exactly.

So in the late 60s, 1960s here, he got an economics degree in California and inherited a small fortune when his father died in the early 70s. And they're not entirely sure how how much exactly. But the sources range from what today would be anywhere from $500,000 to a million dollars when his father died. So he immediately used this money to start living a flamboyant lifestyle. He was always flaunting expensive fashion and bold statement pieces. He would hang out at fancy bars and lavish restaurants. statement pieces he would hang out at fancy bars and lavish restaurants um he loved the dublin art scene where he'd spent time with painters and writers and like rubbing elbows uh he also decided he was kind of an expert in all these random subjects like astrophysics it reminds me

of like uh i don't know like i said leonardo dicaprio uhrio uh Leonardo da Vinci or what one of those guys who like just happened to know about inventions and art and like a like a renaissance man you know what I mean like he fancied himself a renaissance man like Leonardo DiCaprio um okay sure he decided he was like an expert on things like astrophysics like things he had not studied like he's like he's decided he's an expert he's decided like he just was like i have money now so that's me an astrophysicist i wonder if he thinks that's how it goes like oh maybe it's just once you have the money i guess you can just say whatever you want stop you you know and he spoke with such authority that

people actually did believe like the things he said so he was so confident that people were like oh okay um with the way he spoke dressed and spent money people some people actually thought he was like part of the aristocracy in ireland they just were like well it matches so So despite his, you know, fancy cravats and all this business and the way he spent money and spent his time, he still was not connecting with people. He was still not like that social butterfly. And one person who knew him actually said he was very aloof and withdrawn. He's not someone you can just go have a friendly chat with so it's like he was always there again but like just not connecting with people many people felt that talking to him was like trying to talk to a wall um he would only really talk to you if he thought the topic was interesting enough otherwise he would just avoid conversations altogether however he would still

go to all these parties and social gatherings and he would literally stand alone by a wall because he just wanted to be there, but he didn't want to participate in the conversations. So I'm like, I mean, to an extent I get that. It sounds almost like neurodivergent. Like you want to be in the circle, but you're just like, but the talking part's not for me. Like I can get that for sure. And if that's where it had stopped, that would be great. But unfortunately it gets so much worse. So eventually he meets a woman named Brenda Little and they become long-term partners and have a son together. And Brenda didn't realize it at first, but Malcolm was being extremely, as we could have guessed, irresponsible with his money.

You know, he got what was like $500,000 to a million dollars, but he's spending it like crazy. He's spending it without any plan and he doesn't have a job. So he, by the end of the 70s, basically within the decade, his funds were all drained. In 1982, he and Brenda moved with their seven-year-old son to Tenerife and Tenerife is a Spanish Island off the coast of Northwest Africa. For six weeks, Malcolm spent his time in this like Tenerife, by the way, is very touristy area.

A lot of people go down there for spring break, summer break, that kind of thing. Okay okay so he's there in this big tourist hub and he is becoming a more and more obsessed by the day over his finances and trying to come up with a way to restore his wealth and he becomes obsessed with this idea that like he his family had all this money they lost it and he wants to have the money back because he does not want to work. He sure he's never really had to. It's like, how do I make this stretch as long as possible?

Yeah. Or not even stretch. Like, how do I just get as much money so I don't have to stretch it? Do you know what I mean? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So instead of like sitting down and saying, well, I got an economics degree, I could probably use that to help.

He decided instead that it would be easier to rob a bank. Okay. Okay. All right. Let's see where this takes us. This is where all the mean girl owls in their braids just start laughing at him like, oh, my God. Who do you think you are, rob a bank? In your ascot, really?

That's so true. Oh my god. If anyone was wearing an ascot, every owl I think would laugh. Oh, you'd be mocked relentlessly. Wow. Painful. So not long after he and his partner and son moved to Tenerife, Malcolm tells Brenda, you know what? I have a trip to Switzerland I have to take care of.

So I'm going to hop over to Switzerland to sort out some of our finances. I'll be back soon. Instead, he hopped on a ferry and decided to drop back to Ireland and do some nefarious activities. Robbing a bank. Like robbing a bank. So he is like, I'm going to Switzerland. Bye, honey. And she's like, okay, bye.

And he hops on a ferry back to Ireland. This is July 8th, 1982. On this ferry, he is cooking up the world's wildest plot ever to rob a bank. So he stays in Dublin. He avoids all the places where he usually spends his time because he doesn't want to be recognized. Okay, that's a good start. Yeah, so far we're on the right pace. I mean, as someone who's never robbed a bank so far, it sounds like he's doing it right. You're right. Like step one, step one incognito i'm going to switzerland be incognito in ireland you've got it step one is complete um so right he doesn't

want anyone to see him because then they'll know he's there he wants people to think he's either in tennessee for switzerland so he becomes like again it seems slightly neurodivergent like hyper fixated he becomes hyper fixated on this new identity as like a robber like a bank robber a rogue rogue criminal um and so what he does is he grows out his beard and he gets these glasses as a disguise um and as part of it he would he started wearing these like giant heavy wool sweaters and it is like fucking middle of summer he is why is he doing sweat buckets to to create his new identity as like a rogue villain a criminal i feel like his his new identity is kind of fucking not kind to his own body it's like a wizard or something yeah it's like a long beard a fisherman on a boat or something in the winter

no it literally sounds like he's becoming a scandinavian fisherman is what it sounds like it's wild but yeah so he starts wearing these like crazy heavy sweaters thinking by the way he's going to be incognito. And it's like you look more obvious now than when you were just wearing a T-shirt. But OK, I guess now you're wearing a giant sweater and it's 90 degrees. So Malcolm spent a few weeks, literal weeks, plotting for this new venture of his. And his first step, this is now where you and i kind of think okay we're all on the same page of robbing a bank and he just takes a fucking hard left in the wrong direction

okay so despite spending weeks plotting this bank robbery the first thing he decides is oh shit well i need a car so he says you know i need to steal a car to pull off this robbery like a getaway car right so he could have just stolen a car off the street this is the 80s like you could hotwire something um but no that wasn't enough for malcolm He decided he wanted to steal a car and also murder its owner. Hmm. That's an elevated risk, as some might say. It seems unnecessary, right? Logic is on its way to taking a tumble. That's exactly right. It's about to fly the coop. It's like teetering on the edge of the coop. We could have done this in a more benign way, you know? For sure. Like if you were just like in this fantasy world of yours, we could have done it a little less violently.

But no, it gets very horrific now because 27 year old Bridie Gargan was a nurse at St. James Hospital in Dublin and happened to be from County Meath as well. On July 22nd, she was sitting in the park sunbathing just like after a really long shift of nursing, sat by her car, basking in the warm summer sun, eyes closed, had no idea that Malcolm had been stalking her from nearby and had decided to attack her and steal her car. Okay. Somebody, however, had taken notice of Malcolm. I mean, to be honest, it's hard not to when he's wearing, like, a giant sweater and stalking a woman through the park. Was it the hootenanny of owls?

Honestly, you know it was like we like they they didn't say anything but they're like oh we saw that coming a mile they whispered to each other they're like oh my god what's he about to do that's gonna be so embarrassing whatever he's about to do is like so humiliating he's gonna be so he thinks he's like so cool did you hear that his parents got divorced oh wait no sorry that's that's a bad memory of mine okay so anyway um so somebody had noticed him and it was a gardener named patty burn and he was watching malcolm because malcolm was moving really fucking strangely across the park in a giant sweater like weirdly slowly kind of like he was trying to be like a predator and he was wearing like heavy tweed uh

a hat yeah he's not being as incognito as he originally planned no he's being cognito out out cognito i don't know the word but he's being very cognito right now and so he also is wearing this like dramatic bow tie i mean like this man stands out like a sore thumb. So several people had taken notice of how out of place this guy looked. And so this Patty, this gardener is watching. And when Malcolm reaches Bridie, he pounces on her and drags her, shoves her in the backseat of her own car. and drags her, shoves her in the backseat of her own car. Patty, who's now witnessing this and it's too late to do anything,

watches in horror as Malcolm pulls out a hammer and begins attacking Bridie with it. Gross, awful, mean, terrible, disturbing. Oh my God. So the gardener jumps a wall, rushes mean, terrible, disturbing. Oh, my God. So the gardener jumps a wall, rushes to the car, and when he gets to the car, this fucking guy is sitting inside pretending to read a newspaper. Okay. That feels in its own way disturbing because it's like... It like i just saw you smash a woman's head in well it's also disturbing because it implies that he knows like it's like oh i have to look like i'm doing something normal to make up for whatever people might have just noticed like yes it feels like he knows he could have gotten caught if he's already paranoid about

looking like he could have just killed her and then drove the car away but like right now he's pretending he's like playing along yeah it's like he's like trying to add to his persona he's creating yeah it's like he read harriet the spy when he was five and was like i know how to do it and like completely missed it's like when leona tries to hide but she really just like puts like a that's the hand to her eye that's a pretty perfect it's like we can all see you yeah like we'll pretend as long as you're not murdering somebody but okay um yeah so he gets there like he literally has just watched this man pull out a hammer and beat this woman in the back of her own car. And he runs up to the car and Malcolm is sitting there pretending to read a newspaper with the bloody woman behind him in the backseat. Is he not also covered in blood?

So he's literally covered in blood. She is back there having just been bludgeoned with the hammer. So what he does is he tosses a few pieces of newspaper over her in an attempt to cover her up. Which, like, this is not to be insensitive, but, like, a newspaper is the thinnest material you could put on a bloody mess. Like, it's not even well thought out. Right. It's not like he's planned this. It's just kind of like oh this will do and it feels so callous and just like who gives a shit it feels like it was an afterthought of like oh i guess i have to cover you with something yes and like it

obviously like you said does not even work so now he has this like bloodied mess in the back seat and and unfortunately i hate to say this but brady is still alive and no oh my god barely barely and i want to before i get everyone's hopes up she died in the hospital a few days later of her injuries but at this point she is still slightly conscious and is trying to speak oh my god oh my god oh my god oh my god it's horrific like this story just turned so dramatically i like to be honest as i was researching this i was like somebody tell me he had a head injury or like an aneurysm like something is so 180 about this story i just can't wrap my mind around it so patty runs up he sees this is happening right like she's still alive malcolm pulls a gun out

on patty and tells him to back off so patty goes and tries to lunge for the gun but as he's outside in the heat and he's been working and he's been running over this fence he's all sweaty so he tries to grab it but he he has bad footing and he he does not manage to get the gun out of his hands so malcolm advances patty falls down into a ditch and malcolm takes off in the car and leaves him behind he didn't get shot no he did not get shot um he just got away at this point so he is in dublin traffic with this car and this is like um this is like stuff that if you wrote it in a book or movie people would be like that would never happen so he's driving through traffic and there's an ambulance passing by in like the kind of slow traffic they glance down and see the bloody mess in the back of his car oh my god and this is an ambulance and the crew in the ambulance also notices that because this is bridey's car there

is a saint joseph's hospital badge on the rear view mirror like a sort of like a parking pass okay and they think that malcolm is taking a patient to the hospital and they think he's a doctor and he plays along so they kind of like signal him turn on the lights and escort him to the hospital oh my god like it it's like if this were written in a script you'd be like that's so ridiculous yeah you know like how would you even see the saint joseph sticker or whatever but like they genuinely thought oh this must be somebody on the way to the hospital clearly there's been an emergency so they turn on the lights you know do the right thing lead him to the hospital and he fucking follows them there right i guess he's like he must be like i'm gonna follow the lead follow the lead like or right like now what right you're like you can't

just uh be like never mind i'll take my own route i'll take the scenic route he's like i gotta roll with the punches now and just kind of whatever however the story pans out whatever keeps me out of trouble yeah because see like as we've already mentioned basically or alluded to like he has not planned this even though he allegedly spent weeks planning it like there's no plan here he just attacked a couple people jumped in the car got escorted to the hospital by an ambulance. And as the ambulance pulls through, Malcolm veers and speeds away. Oh, well, I hope and pray that immediately they knew something bad was going on. Yeah, right.

They were like, hang on. Yeah. That does not seem correct. Then he just abandons. He dumps the car and he leaves Bridie in the backseat. Which like, I guess for him, originally I was going to say that's a stupid move. You should have just played along with this. But honestly, that might have been for his plan.

The best thing you could have done because it's like you're going to be distracted with this body. I have time to get away. True. It's like at least i and that's kind of what happened he basically decided to go back to square one and the part that like really i don't think i've ever said this grinds my gears about this story is like he decides that didn't work and like decides to go back to square one and not even necessarily need a car anymore and it's like okay so you just brutalized and

ultimately murdered this woman you know for what or yeah like and or maybe he was like he was gonna turn this into a well that was my practice and now i'm gonna have to go kill somebody else for their car and like yeah he didn't even right he didn't he was like actually on second thought this was too messy this was too hard for me and it was like i guess i don't need a car after all i could have skipped straight from step three to step five you know and it's like this just makes i mean not that obviously would be any better if he actually successfully robbed a bank because of this but like it's just something so like afterthought like like on second thought, that's not my plan anymore. So I'll just leave her here, you know? And so really, really fucked up. He, he left the car

with her inside it and headed for a bus station. He decided to catch a ride to Edenberry in County Offaly. And he was going to answer an ad in the newspaper by a man named donald dunn and this man's ad in the newspaper was for selling a shotgun so he stopped at the bus station to ask about bus times and the attendant uh was like this guy is acting very highfalutin he has a cravat he has like a very quote unquote what they called cultured accent and speech. And the bus attendant is like immediately. I know that this guy is not from here, does not fit in. Something is off. Right.

But he goes on his merry way and he stops at a pub where he shaves his beard off in the bathroom maybe that's when he decided the beard suddenly was not the disguise he thought it would be and then he took the bus to edendary meanwhile authorities find bridey's car in the back seat she is still alive oh my god the attack of course made headlines the next day and they put a photo of bridie as the front front picture it's it's horrible she fought for her life for four days in the hospital but ultimately succumbed to her injuries and now as i've already told you malcolm has become a murderer from like a half-assed plan on the ferry to rob a bank. And now he's wanted for someone's murder.

Like, it's just I'm telling you, there must have been a head injury. I don't know. So police pulled a fingerprint from the scene of the car, but because he had never been in trouble for anything before it was like at time a complete dead end they had no suspects they had no motive the fingerprint didn't match anyone on file and so they started searching for the killer on the roads thinking he was hitchhiking and maybe someone had spotted him but in the meantime he had hopped on this bus to pick up a shotgun in edendary so saturday july 24th he arrives in edendary and at 10 30 a.m he meets up with this man donald dunn who had put this ad out in the paper for a shotgun so they meet at the post office and then uh i guess i don't know for sure but my assumption

is malcolm asked to try out the gun like test it out so donald drives him out of town to a bog to demonstrate the gun and let malcolm try it out before buying well as soon as donald handed malcolm the gun malcolm turned it and shot him from three feet away directly in the head damn wow just execution style straight to the head kills him from three feet away wow he he barely i mean again this is like the same pattern over and over he just barely covers his body with a few brambles like he doesn't even i mean it's the time i mean it's very much like putting a newspaper over the other body. It's like it's like why even do it at all?

You know what I mean? Like their minimum effort to try to show some sort of humanity when you don't have it. Or not even humanity, but just like hiding like. Like hiding the body, you know what I mean? Like even if it wasn't like for moral reasons, but it was like, oh, I don't want anyone to stumble upon this body. Even that he doesn't give a shit. He yeah logistically it doesn't make sense at all no i'm like what is he doing so like he could barely be bothered to even put like a leaf on this guy so he takes donald's car now and the gun of course and flees the scene this is horrible once again that evening a family was picnicking by the bog when their seven-year-old son found the body of donal a seven-year-old a seven-year-old

on a family picnic out in nature like that day too so it was like still a bloody scene you know so police jump into action and at one point there are 300 police officers searching the area for a gun uh any sort of evidence that could be linked to this just like shocking crime of this local guy and in town witnesses pretty immediately came forward to describe the strange man they'd seen uh donal with right before he was shot in the head uh people were like yeah it was this weird dude with like these big sweaters on like he looked completely out of place and very sweaty presumably he had this strange accent and he talked all high and mighty and so police in dublin and awfully were like wait a second this sounds like a similar description so they are starting to maybe make a link between donal and bridey's murders and that is when they

pull a fingerprint from a discarded newspaper that witnesses had seen him reading in the town of Edenberry. And that matched the print from Bridie's car. So they knew this was the same guy. Okay. But they're like, why? Like, they're like, this guy in this one town and this young woman in this other town. One is beaten to death with a hammer one is shot in the head like who is this and why are they doing it like they just cannot figure out the motive they

cannot link the two victims yeah they're utterly confounded yeah so papers at this point are going wild for this story they're advertising huge rewards for information leading to the killer. And in the meantime, Malcolm was like, OK, I've done it. I've accomplished steps one through 15. Now it's time for step 16 to rob a bank. So on August 4th, he drives to the home of U.S. diplomat Harry Biling. So on August 4th, he drives to the home of U.S. diplomat Harry Beiling. And Malcolm told Harry Beiling that he'd been at a party at this guy's house months earlier, and he was back to photograph some of the lovely views he admired.

So Harry was like, my house does have nice views, doesn't it? Come on in. Okay. Literally lets him in. And Malcolm pulls a shotgun and says give me money oh my god so harry the diplomat says okay let me go grab my checkbook and malcolm says okay and the guy fucking runs yeah this guy okay the more you're the more you're telling the story the more i'm realizing this guy had like something is up like Like, I don't know if it's. It's like, yes, there's a disconnect.

Something's not clicking the way that maybe it would click for most people. I don't like, obviously they're trying to get away. I mean, also like from plan A of like, oh, go incognito. And then you start wearing a costume with an accent. Like that's. It's so odd it's yeah and it's not like what a person that you would think with like a college degree who you know is pretty well educated like it's not what you'd think they would concoct after weeks of planning

like but also like you were saying earlier the like for both um for with both previous murders to like not even thinking through like the cleanup like or the yeah it really does seem like it's not it doesn't feel just impulsive it feels like like something's missing like yeah true it's like because and i think what throws me oh sorry go ahead no i was gonna say the first thing if even in my fake hypothetical imagination if i were to commit a murder my first thought is how do i get away with it not how do i set up myself to murder somebody it's like exactly there's a weird way of thinking my first thought is how do i clean it up

so no one ever catches me and like for that to not be the first thought is kind of wild and it's weird because it kind of was the first thought because he immediately created an alibi for his future crime by saying i'm going to switzerland but then like didn't plan it was like his first thought was okay i'll pretend i'm in sw. And that's the end of his like planning for how to get away with it. It's like he just skipped 100 steps. And I think what weirds me out, too, is or like what throws me off is that he spent weeks in his hotel hiding out and planning this. And I'm like, weeks? Yeah, weeks to plan nothing?

If you told me five minutes, I'd hardly believe you. But weeks? Something about this is just so bizarre yeah so okay so now this other guy fucking run like just run out the house and like you know our wonderful researcher serger wrote i know this is not funny at all but it feels almost comical how trusting both of them are like this first diplomat guy just lets this man into his house yeah and then he's like okay let me just grab all my money for you and he's like sure go for it like there's a weird comedy of errors you know i know this is not how it is and in reality i know that but in a trope i would say that's like

a canadian crime of like oh yeah yeah sure of like oh like both people just yeah complimenting each other that like into yeah into the into the murder it's like that midwest like stereotype to like very midwestern yeah but also so i'm confused now so is he like just doing murder for sport at this point because like he could have just like said oh you have a lovely home and then when the guy goes to the bathroom just stolen his checkbook or something remember he could have just gotten into bridey's car and driven away but instead he walked right to her dragged her into the car yeah for no reason like if he had just gone up grabbed the keys but he

had a gun with him you know why didn't he not shoot it whatever so he basically walks up you could have gotten the keys hopped in the car and maybe genuinely gotten away with some of this but like why drag her into the car it doesn't make any sense so like what you're saying yeah that would make a lot more sense to say i'm photographing the view and then steal his checkbook but no he has to hold a gun to him and let him run away just crazy so uh he finally figures out this is taking a long time to get the checkbook i think he ran away i let him go uh he flees the scene and he decides to hitchhike to the home of his partner Brenda okay so gargoyles out his partner Brenda's so you know his his long-term partner Brenda mother of his child her best friend is the attorney general and so his name is there's another patty which

is why it's a little confusing okay patty connelly is the attorney general also happens to be a best friend of brenda so malcolm's like i'll go to his house so okay he'll understand he he hitchhikes to his house and he said oh hey buddy I just but like some things he sticks to he says I just got back from Switzerland like he's literally trying to like implant this weird alibi even now so he says I just returned from Switzerland and I really need a place to stay. And Patty was like, OK, sure. Come on in. Wild. So. This is like so batshit crazy.

So Malcolm then decides to set the stage, unfortunately. I mean, I think he said it a long time ago for his own undoing. And that is because Harry was still alive, the diplomat and could obviously identify him so malcolm's like man how do i deal with this uh with this issue i know i'm gonna call harry the diplomat real quick okay what he he picks up the phone and he calls harry he's like i'll explain i'll explain it don't worry so he calls harry and he says oh i'm so sorry you thought that was a robbery that was just a prank girl what i'm sorry it like cracks me up i basically tries to convince him it was all a practical joke that's i mean i can't you know who else does that is like an eight-year-old who gets in trouble and

they're like no no i was just kidding like yeah an eight-year-old also says it was my imaginary friend and he could have gone with that too you know at this point like yeah yeah oh my god he he genuinely um calls him and says oh that failed robbery that was just a practical joke uh and then he's like you know what i should also let the police know so he calls the police he's like trying to he's trying to like he's inviting himself to the interrogation room so he looks better he's like right like i mean yes he's like let me introduce myself look at my have you seen my ascot you know um so he basically calls the police and he's like oh i just called harry to let him know too but just so you're aware i tried to rob him earlier um oh did i tell you my name um yeah it's malcolm so anyway i tried to rob this guy earlier and uh it was all a big joke and it's a misunderstanding

you know i wonder i wonder the because it seems like up until now we haven't gotten we hadn't seen any indication that he knew he was making a lot of mistakes along the way. Right. And it's interesting that something in the last hour. Yes. All of a sudden he senses guilt or that he slipped up and he needs to own it. Yeah. It's weird because like other people have also witnessed him.

You know what I mean? It's not like this is the first guy to like like the patty guy had witnessed him yeah after he beat that woman so i don't understand like why he's suddenly so worried about getting recognized but like and honestly he walked right into his that trap on his own because now that he's given them the police's name oh he literally by the way said mal i'm malcolm mcarthur like gave his full first and last name a fucking lollipop like he like indeed like i mean because at this point he's they're gonna remember just you know he does such a he is maybe he just has a lot of anxiety because one of the things i do a lot with my anxiety is

i try to over correct and i end up looking worse yeah i know totally what you're saying yeah and so i feel like maybe he's like he's trying to be incognito and therefore he needs a fully different disguise of what he's used to and then it's like too much and so this time he's trying too hard to be incognito that he's adding so much yeah and so like maybe he's also um like in this case now he's like oh that didn't go the way i planned so let me beat anyone to the punch and and call and out myself so it doesn't look as bad yeah i'll explain it but all that yeah all that combined, I mean, him calling and saying his name and trying to talk about a prank is very much the verbal version of him trying to be incognito and have him disguised. But now he's sticking out.

And so, because now in the same 24 hours, he has outed himself to the police in a way, just like his disguises. They're going to remember that because it was so off. Oh, yeah. A hundred percent. You're right. It's like the weird stuff he's pushing in people's faces. And like he's it's interesting because in the same 24 hours, he has made this weird phone call that makes him stick out. And if they haven't called the police yet, that ambulance is super calling the police to be like something really weird happened today.

He doesn't he doesn't think that like those two things might land that's what it is it's like there's no bridges between the thoughts yeah or the plans or the like none of it connects in a way that makes sense to me and i don't know how it makes sense to him because it makes no sense at all. So he basically, like you said, is giving the police all like all they need to know. Like this guy is. He might as well have given his fucking description and been like, I'm covered in blood from earlier. But it was a prank, though. So it also looks different than what I usually look like. So it's a disguise, right?

Yeah. But there's some on my very real mustache. Like, exactly. It's like all of this, all of this. It's so outrageous. So anyway, he calls Harry and the police and tells them this is all a big joke. Haha, you've been punked. And of course, the police officer like does not buy this at all

and he hears that there's classical music playing in the background like because he's staying at this attorney general's house so harry beiling the uh diplomat that he had tried to rob and failed to also like why didn't you just take stuff from his house after the guy fled whatever also if you know an attorney general why don't you just go there first and then wait till he went to bed and take his money yeah because you know him and he will invite you in exactly so harry had told police uh yeah he was this like well-spoken, sharply dressed guy. And the officer is on the phone and he hears this classical music playing. And this guy's calling and saying, I'm Malcolm and I did a prank. And so he's like, OK, I am feeling very weird about all of this.

I'm going to call the detectives who are covering bridey's and donald's murders and check in with them and he said hey we had an unusual aggravated burglary here and the more i think about it the more i think the fella that did it is your man so they're immediately having these bridged connections that he doesn't seem to be expecting. Police start canvassing neighborhoods looking for a man they described as well-dressed and soft-spoken. They told people he was exactly the opposite of who they would suspect of murder. Can you imagine someone coming to your door and being like, do you know anyone who is really nice and normal and fancy? But likes a prank every now and then also like you you just said no you don't know a murderer but think about someone who would not be a murderer do you know that person i'd be like oh my god is everybody yeah anyway so they're like

it's who you don't think it is and people are like what the fuck we don't know who you're looking for what riddle is this yeah it's like a riddle so the man who gave malcolm a ride the guy hitchhiked with to patty connelly's recognized the description were like oh i drove him to that fancy attorney general guy's house uh earlier. So they go there and of course they find Patty and on the way they, I'm like, this is where last night I had had half an edible and I was reading this and I was like this, I need to highlight this because I have to reread it in the morning. And I reread it in the morning and I reread it in the morning and i was like nope says the exact same thing it is so bizarre i'm like what does this mean okay so they're on their way to patty connelly's house where they're gonna find him uh and on the way they they they intercept a taxi driver and they're like hey where are you heading and he says he's heading to

the attorney general's house to meet a guy named malcolm and they're like oh what do you why are you meeting him and he said i have a delivery for him i'm delivering him some hacksaw blades i'm sorry what that's all i got so what it's like but i don't even understand like did he door dash them from like a yellow cab like the taxi driver's like i'm on my way to deliver some hacksaws for a guy named malcolm i don't know how that works early door dash i guess that does sound like if i were high i wouldn't i'm not even and i would be like am i high what the hell am i reading yeah exactly i was like i feel like that doesn't make the words don't make the sentence i think they mean uh think they make and they do they do this guy was delivering

saw blades hacksaw blades and the police apparently knew what was going on before i did because they assumed he was going to be sawing off the shotgun that he had stolen from oh yeah because i was thinking he's going to start chopping limbs off of people i thought he was going to saw a human being yeah a human yeah no apparently they were a little calmer about it and realized he was probably just trying to mess with his shotgun that he stole. So anyway, they get there and they see Malcolm walking around inside the windows. And Patty is not home. So they kind of scout out the place. And as they're waiting, he arrives home to find a bunch of police sitting outside his house.

And they tell him what's going on and they storm the house and malcolm for what it's worth gave up easily he went quietly and uh patty who i can only assume had gone to the store to pick up like some sirloin steak to cook up for his special guests that night was left behind just like what the fuck just happened i let my best friend's husband stay with me and now he's being um carted off to prison for murder beyond so uh in case you needed uh more succinct words to put to that patty was later interviewed and said, it is very difficult to exaggerate how dumbfounded I was. She's like, I think I'm going to put that on a t-shirt. It is very difficult to exaggerate how dumbfounded I am. That's true. It's a great line. So Patty, the attorney general, So Patty, the attorney general, this is when he makes a bad PR move because he had planned a vacation for the following day and he hopped on the plane and went on his vacation.

And people were pissed because they were like, you just housed a murderer and this is really bad taste for you to just like hop on a trip the next day and not even care. It looks like you're fleeing. Yeah. It looks like you're just like, on a trip the next day and not even care yeah it looks like you're just like i'm out of here you know uh so in the end patty actually ended up resigning because the controversy was so bad and it essentially ruined his career on the way to the station malcolm was very chatty with police he seemed casual and calm um police were like he was actually pretty condescending to us uh in his questioning he admitted to both murders and seemed to have no remorse whatsoever okay so the case against him was obviously overwhelming uh they had fingerprints witnesses

both stolen cars both murder weapons and a signed confession so they were like well ding ding ding nailed it but they were also thinking if the court determined that malcolm's not violent and he wouldn't offend again he would probably only serve a few years because apparently some murderers at the time were only serving seven years of their sentence and then released on good behavior oh okay but uh either way the public was pissed uh a mob attacked malcolm at one end of his pre-trial court appearances and his defense team they were like you know what he has no chance whatsoever to get a fair trial and the fact that he has two murder charges make it hard to argue that he's not

violent so they were like you know what can we put in a plea deal we're gonna plead insanity and we're gonna argue that malcolm was in a dissociative state and unaware of any of the events that transpired that's their new angle however detectives then discovered a clear handwritten plot that malcolm had written to murder his own mother what the fuck okay so they were like well there goes that plea deal this also like really negates that he ever wanted to rob a bank it's like official that he just wanted to murder people whatever happened to the bank yeah he just wanted to murder people right like if there's no other explanation because why else are you robbing multiple people

like at gunpoint yeah like and then not taking the money like if i were robbing someone's house and they ran away from the house i'd be like well that's a much easier way to rob this and he just fucking left like he just wants to kill people you're right like there's no other reasoning behind it and he has not stolen anything successfully besides a car barely so he hasn't even stolen money so it's like three people are dead two people are dead and like a and a letter about his mom soon to be dead. But no dollars. He's taken zero dollars.

He just like stole another car because he messed up the first time. It's bananas. So the defense is like, you know what? That's not going to work. Basically, pleading insanity won't work because he just admitted that he's trying to murder his mother and it's written down so they're like okay you know what he clearly knows he wasn't dissociating because he's still planning to murder people uh so instead they this is shocking they secured a plea deal for malcolm where he would plead guilty to Bridie's murder.

But then they completely dropped charges for the murder of Donal for the three feet away execution style murder. Yes. Wow. They just completely they were like, OK, fine. If you plead guilty to Bridie's murder, then we won't charge you with the other one which do you imagine being that person's family yeah exactly i mean that's exactly how the story ends like that they just still don't have justice like it's it's baffling i mean i literally listed they have two stolen cars his fingerprints everywhere he admitted to it how can you get off how can you not be charged with something you've already said no i did that

and what's the reason again for why they don't want to charge him with it his defense was able to talk to the judge and say we want a plea deal and he said okay fine if he admits to brideie's murder, then we won't charge. Like it doesn't even make sense. It's not even a real reason. No, they would have easily slam dunk both murders. So it's very,

very odd. Very odd. The prosecutor filed something called no lay prosequi for the second murder charge, which is an official abandonment of action. And basically completely took him his name out of that case whatsoever the public was outraged so was donald's family as you can imagine um the evidence was like undeniable uh it didn't it made no sense basically

to drop the second murder charge um and at his sentencing the prosecution stood to read the evidence against malcolm but the judge wouldn't let them he was like nope we're dropping it so we're dropping this case so you cannot even talk about about it at all and just completely shut him down it made no sense and so a lot of rumors began to circulate about cover-ups secret deals uh like class privilege political controversy they've never proven anything but like people are pretty sure something very shady happened to be able to get the second murder just taken off the books so malcolm's guilty plea for bridey's murder did require a mandatory life sentence. And because the prosecution was not able to read the charges against this guy, read the evidence, the public was even more pissed.

And this controversy just lasted for a very long time. So he ended up serving 30 years in prison only. And he was released in 2012 at the age of 66. And for many years, he was silent. And no matter how many people asked why he did what he did, or for an apology, they got nothing. And it wasn't until 2020, when a writer named Mark O'Connell approached him on the street in Dublin and said, I'd like to write about you. And so they spoke for months. Malcolm told him everything about his life, the killings. And so we do now have at least some clarity. Malcolm insists that he did, in fact, feel remorse

for the killings, even though he never showed showed it and he says he thinks people want him to get emotional to prove that he feels guilty but he prefers to be dignified barf uh he yeah disgusto he also spoke about how important it was uh to be polite and well-mannered um somebody who just bashed a woman's face in with a hammer. Okay, you're going to be well-mannered and polite and dignified. So when Mark commented on that, Malcolm said, well, it confirms my knowledge of myself. I think of myself as a normal person.

People who know me well regard me as a very likable person. I have a high likability. Name three. Name one. name anybody who likes you he literally says m quote i have a high likability factor bitch where like what are you talking about name three okay that's what the owls would say i feel like i'm becoming an owl i feel like i'm a wannabe owl you know that's what like when he said oh people like me as an owl i'd go who we've become the owls i'm just cackling at your stupid puns and we're in our little hootenanny it would be there'd be seven at max of all of us going who who who who who that is so good um oh my god I've like cry laughed a lot today oh my god okay somebody better make some some fun drawings out of this episode because um

it is long tales mean girl bitch who bitch who who who so anyway he says i have a high likability factor and i like people i'm very good with people this sounds like donald trump honestly i like people i'm very good with people I am sympathetic and empathetic and all those things. I have always deplored language or behavior that is sexist or misogynistic, that is disrespectful or objectifying or crude. And then he says, and you can quote him on this, I don't think I've ever been unmannerly in my life. And then there was a pause and then he said apart from the criminal episode itself yes those were crimes i'm pretty great except for the multiple murders you're right that was a crime nobody's questioning whether it was a crime before you call me out that's a fair fight but yeah yeah

yeah yeah other than that i'm pretty good it was also a big prank prank and i thought it was hilarious but nobody else did even the police didn't laugh i don't understand it's so weird the judge was not amused so malcolm still to this day lives in dublin as a free man he uh seems to believe that his explanation his motive for the killings has been made clear to everyone and that his actions made total sense. He says he needed a money, a car and a weapon. So he killed for them. And of course, the victim's families are like still so shaken and rattled by this. And the fact that he's like, oh, I think it makes perfect sense why I killed them is like really, really awful for them to live with.

Fully delusional. Totally crazy. And Donald's family petitioned for charges to be brought back against Malcolm. And even though they got 10,000 signatures, it failed to inspire any movement on it. And he still has not been charged with Donald's murder to this day. Of course, they've never let the crimes go. Donald's murder to this day. Of course, they've never let the crimes go. And they said their pain just is never ending, especially once Malcolm was released in 2012. And they feel like they're never going to get justice. So at the time, the head of the Irish government, Taoiseach, which is like

sort of the prime minister or president, famously called the crimes now i think this is actually a good ender called the crimes and his name is charles hoffy hoffy hoffy he famously called the crimes quote grotesque unbelievable bizarre and unprecedented and the acronym gubu became notorious in ireland and it's become a word to signify scandals like especially in politics oh okay the word gooboo for i feel like that is the t-shirt that the owls wear it says gooboo and it stands for grotesque gooboo who yeah it stands for grotesque, unbelievable, bizarre, and unprecedented, which does sound like something the hootenanny would say. Yeah, for sure. Wow. So upon his release, Malcolm returned to Dublin and got back to the life he always enjoyed,

spending his time at bookstores, libraries, and and art shows and being a fancy man about town. And that is the story of Malcolm MacArthur. Wow. All done. Well done. But still psychotic. It's it's beyond really. I mean, I don't and I feel bad that i even watched a video to figure out how to pronounce that man's name i don't know it doesn't matter when someone has to come up with a new acronym to describe how fucked up your situation was like how dare somebody in today's world walking around right now go i feel like i was justified if every other person on earth doesn't agree with you yeah you're you're the common denominator babe like you're nobody is agreeing like you're you stand alone here it's so bizarre and then he's like i've

never been rude in my life you fucking bash someone's head in what are you talking about like imagine hearing that from someone who murdered your daughter your 27 year old daughter like like oh i've never been rude i'm such a dignified person go to the family the family members of the people you brutally murdered for no reason and by the way also for no fucking money and yeah tell them i've i didn't do anything wrong anyone could have done this what anyone anyone would have done this it's like are you serious and he's like oh no i feel bad go tell it to your mom who you fucking wrote a premeditated murder note about what are you

what are you talking about i guarantee you she doesn't fucking spend time alone in a room with you now and you wonder why this is this is why i read it and was like i genuinely don't know if somebody bashed him in the head by mistake like i cannot figure out what the fuck happened to this guy unless he's just always been a narcissist and was able to like pull it off long enough and then snap i don't know it's just shocking that there are people out there who murderers or not like that you just are just just awful morals no morals and like you're just like what everyone understands what are you talking about get it it says who says who what are you talking about anyway great story christine name three people you me and the birds the trees we speak for the trees um are we both high what's happening i feel like i am that that story made no

fucking real sense so i'm serious well thank you for that story. I do love when you bring a real humdinger to the plate. So thank you for the home run. You're so welcome. And I guess anyone who wants to hang out with us even further for some reason, you can hop over to Patreon and listen to us hang out during after hours. After hours. And we can talk more. But but unfortunately our time has come to an end here um i know don't let me go but um well we'll be back so hard we'll be back next sunday with some more bullshit for you and oh i love the sign off that's why we drink