And That's Why We Drink - E37 Kyle Columbus and The Napoleon Complex but with Cannibalism

Episode Date: October 15, 2017

Thanks, Mr. Bagans. In episode 37, Em talks about a self-sabotaging building called the St. Augustine Lighthouse and Christine razzle-dazzles with the story Issei Sagawa, the creepy cannibal who roams free (and whines about it) to this day. And that's why we drink!

🎵 Welcome to the plunger fort! We're still here. It's been a month now. We haven't left, we've been sitting here for 30 days. Also, did you do that with the thumbtack? Do what? It's literally sitting up right there.

What? Did you do that? No! I'm not touching it. Ew! There's a thumbtack that's literally sitting up right there. What? Did you do that? No. I'm not touching it. Ew. There's a thumb back that's literally standing on its point. Who did that? It's really not me.

It's probably a ghost. Oh, God. It's a cellar girl. I know it's a girl, too. That's the creepy part. I'm sorry. What? I'm telling you this place is haunted.

Welcome to And That's Why We Drink. Em, you can't just tell me there's a cellar girl and then move on. Christine, what are you drinking? Okay. I'm just going to keep keep ignoring you now i'm so uncomfortable let's talk about wine it makes you feel better it does make me feel better i mean i know i already said this but i'm drinking the 2013 daring escape red from um first leap wines it is the best one you can't stop talking about it the best wine i've had in a very long time so please there she okay just to be fair christine is sitting right next to her boxed wine and hasn't touched it all night. She just keeps touching the empty bottle.

There's a full wine right next to her and she's touching the empty bottle more than the full one. I'm a psycho. It's so good. Anyway, what are you drinking? I just ran to Starbucks on my way here because i'm trying to make light of the situation that is our distance are you drinking a pumpkin spice frappuccino i'm not like a basic bitch i'm not a basic bitch in that regard okay also i hate the taste of pumpkin i do too i really don't like it i don't either i don't like pumpkin when it comes to like fall flavors i'm into i'm

like an apple cider kind of guy or like too. Or like cinnamon is a good one. I like the Christmas ones though. I like peppermint. I love a good Christmas taste. Oh, yes. All that shit. Oh, yes. The peppermint mocha is my favorite.

Okay, I don't like coffee though. Peppermint and chocolate. Thin Mints. Peppermint on chocolate. And Thin Mints. Thin Mints. Whenever I can throw a Thin Mint in. You know what?

The Christmas version of a Thin Mint is a chocolate mint Milano. Oh, those are? Because you get those in the tins. The Christmas tins. The best. I know. Let's not even get into it. Hey, Girl Scouts of America, do you want to sponsor us?

Or Pepperidge Farm because a Sausalito cookie is unmatched. I would be 1,000 pounds at my wedding. 1,000. I can eat a... I mean, I don't even know why I'm saying this. Like, it's a surprise because I tell myself everyone does this, but like a whole bag of Sausalito cookies is a serving size to me. I eat all eight of them in a minute.

Yeah. I would go to my dad's on the weekends. Like when, like my parents got divorced, I would go to my dad's and he'd be like, what do you want for the weekend? And I'd be like, Pepperidge Farm cookies. And he would buy like three bags and I'd be like, what do you want for the weekend? And I'd be like, Pepperidge Farm cookies. And he would buy like three bags. And I'd be like, this one's mine. We had a very different experience because I remember growing up, my father in his office, like he had a kitchen in his office because his house, his office was haunted.

We should talk about that because it was an old farmhouse. Oh, shit. But in the kitchen part, which used to be an actual kitchen in the farmhouse, but it was his employees only office. Sure. My dad used to get Sausalito Pepperidge Farm cookies.

I probably don't actually like these cookies but psychologically I crave them because I couldn't have them when I was little because he would put them on the highest

shelf and he wouldn't touch them. He wouldn't let anyone eat them. Those and the Edmunds donuts. Oh my dad bought those too.

Those are my two favorite snacks now and I really think it's just because they're not even that good. I wasn't allowed. I true. Like if I even thought about reaching my hand up and pretending to grab one, he would snap. He'd be like, those are mine. And I'd be like, and he's a child of four. So like he knows how to share and I'm the only child and people now blame me for not wanting to share food on the fact that I'm an only child. And I'm like, no, my dad just wouldn't share cookies with me. It's not that hard.

It was traumatizing. But there are a lot of kids who grew up with multiple siblings who learned to like hoard their food because they didn't want their siblings taking it. Because my mom was one of eight. And she said, like, if you didn't eat it immediately, everyone else would eat it. That's more like my mom's side, the culturally Jewish family where it's like, if you don't eat fast, you don't eat. So I guess I know I exactly. Okay. I mean, I know what he was doing then. The thing was, I gained a ton of weight when I was little. Cause when my parents got divorced, it was that like stereotypical thing of my dad was like the divorced dad who was like,

we can eat shit and watch movies and go mini golfing and then send you back to your mom's to do homework, you know? So we would go. And and my dad i distinctly remember had a peanut m&m like dispenser next to my bed that he installed because i love peanut m&ms and i would just like get to eat peanut m&ms all night in my bed after i brushed my teeth and i'm looking back like no wonder i was a fat kid divorce sounds fun it's it's a blast you do get two christmases so, so it's like... Trust me, I've seen a lot of divorces. It's like fine. Hi, Mom. Hey, Mom. And that's why she

drinks. That's why we all drink. I do want to say one thing. It's Brenda's birthday. Oh, happy birthday, Brenda. Brenda is a loyal listener and a good friend to the podcast, so we just want to give her a little shout-out. We don't usually do birthday shout outs because there's just there's so many of you requesting it which is not a bad thing it's a great thing we're not mad at you there's just

so many that if we if you do listen to the listeners episodes and you listen to us um thank all of our patreon donators ahead of time yeah it would every episode would sound like that with how many birthday requests we get. So also happy birthday. Everyone else who's having a birthday this October. My little sister's birthday is October, was October 9th. So happy belated to her. I will say anyone having a birthday right now specifically, congratulations, because that means you're a Libra and I fucking love Libras.

I do too. I was about to say all the best people in my life are Libras. Libras and Leos are my homies. Oh. Libras and Leos are my homies. Oh, Libras and Aquarius are my homies. And Aries. Aries. Okay. Well, we're Geminis.

I was going to be like, wow, we have the same interests, but we're both Geminis. It's definitely that. Geminis love the A's and the L's, and we hate the S's. Yes. Yes, we do. So we love Aries, Aquarius, Leo, Libra, and we do not get along with Scorpio or Sagittarius. Deirdre's a Sagittarius. Oh, interesting, because Deirdre is actually the person who suggested this week's story.

Oh, what a gem. Also, again, because I always fucking do this. Also, this week's episode is dedicated to another one of our $25 patrons. You want to know her name? Please tell me. It's Priscilla Hernandez. Love it. What a good name.

What a babe. What a babe. Priscilla, thank you for being a loyal listener and supporter. This episode is dedicated to you. We love you. We love you. Any other wise words before we get started? No, I don't have any read me a bedtime

story to my libras out there to all the l's a's and and no s's no except deirdre and geo oh and geo also fun fact about libras my grandma fun fact everyone's been divorced my family um but mine too oh my god but so everyone in my family says that when they find the right one, they're always a Libra. So my grandma was married and then remarried and found a Libra. And they're just like the happiest people on earth. Oh. My mom has married and then got divorced and then married and then got divorced and then married and then got divorced. Yes. And then she found a Libra. And now divorced and then married and then got divorced. Yes.

And then she found a Libra. And now they're engaged. So good luck, Tom. Both of my step parents are Aries. Okay. Well, Allison's a Libra. So. I swear to God, it's the Libras.

No pressure, Allison. Just. It's the Libras. Don't leave. Don't leave me. Oh my God. There's so much pressure. There's so many people listening to this right now. Everyone tell Allison to not leave me. Oh my God. There's so much pressure.

There's so many people listening to this right now. Everyone tell Allison to not leave me. Oh no, because now they're going to do it. She's going to leave now. That's what I did there. You just fucked up your relationship. Also, she just texted me and said, by the way, make sure to be funny in this episode.

Oh my God. This is like that time when I went on an improv show and invited Lisa Lampanelli and she texted me as I was walking up to the stage being like, don't fuck this up. And I was like, wait, fuck you. Like, don't fuck this up. You better be funny. I'm like, I'm such an asshole. We have really good friends.

Yeah, clearly. Okay. So this one I've been getting requested a bajillion times. Oh my God. A bajillion. So I'm just going to do it. I'm just going requested a bajillion times. Oh my God. A bajillion. So I'm just going to do it. I'm just going to cater to your needs. It's like we already do so much for you, but like final do.

Left and right. You're giving all of yourself to all these people. You're not wrong. Yeah. It's like we might as well do one more thing for you. Right. Like here's the straw. Fine.

Here's the last one. I'm just going to have a total breakdown right now. Halfway through. If you just actually travel five minutes into the future, just go five minutes further into this audio, and I'll probably be crying about that. The plunger will have, like, crumbled to the floor. It'll just be on the floor.

No, I'll have had a mental breakdown. I'll have snapped the plunger in half. Oh, no. Christine will be on the other side of the house. There will be a true crime story about death by plunger in half. Christine will be on the other side of the house. There will be a true crime story about death by plunger. Gio will be barking and you'll just hear sirens out the window.

You guys. Anyway, it's the St. Augustine Lighthouse. Oh, interesting. Yes. I've never heard of this. Really? It's like one of the more famous thing, like locations. Anything, actually. It's just like a really famous thing. Like as a lighthouse, it's probably the most haunted.

There's like the Mona Lisa and the Leaning Tower Pisa and then like this lighthouse. Actually, it's so funny you say that because this is called the Mona Lisa of haunted locations. No, I'm not kidding. I'm so psychic. Well, we know that. Shut the fuck up. Yeah. I feel really good about myself.

Let's just move on. Is that in Florida? Yes. Okay. In St. Augustine, Florida. the fuck up yeah i feel really good about myself let's just move on um is that in florida yes okay in saint augustine florida i think my celine's brother i think his middle name is augustine i think it's after the town in florida oh cool so in 1586 1586 i'm sorry the first was where we would have were we are you gonna ask me if we were born? The answer is no. Well, had God invented humans yet? No. Not at all. It was just that animals were doing the counting.

Okay. Got it. So in 1586, the first tower was made of wood and burned to the ground. Fun. I feel like that was just like its own history. I'm just trying to give you some history at all. Because there's really not like... Okay. So there's a whole page that Christineine's looking at right now all of these

are manifestations oh so the history is like a bullet so i'm trying to give you what i whatever i can okay so burn to the run yeah the end so that's quite a story that's a wrap 15 i'm sorry is that an empty bottle and an empty box of wine both next to each other at the same time? What the fuck is wrong with you? It's been a really long way down. It's just downwards. It's Thursday. I know. You haven't even made it to the end.

And then nickel everything, and then moving, and trying to clean this fucking house, and then getting almost robbed. It's just been a week. And then the hospital. And then in the fucking, oh, right, that too. That's quite a. You still have bruises, don't you? Oh, yeah. They're all over my arm.

Jesus Christ. Okay. Sorry, go on. So something burned to the ground a billion years ago. Oh, right. That too. That's quite a... You still have bruises, don't you? Oh, yeah. They're all over my arm. Jesus Christ. Okay. Sorry. Go on. So something burned to the ground a billion years ago. Oh, my God. Just... It was more like...

Me as a history teacher. Half a billion. But yeah, okay. So... And you would like read people's essays or like quizzes and be like, eh, close enough. I'd be like, eh, there's a person who did a thing. Columbus, 1892. Whatever.

It's close enough. Oh, Columbus? His name was a person who did a thing. Columbus, 1892. Whatever it's called. Columbus's name was not Kyle, but you know, whatever. Kyle Columbus. Classic Kevin Columbus. Classic Kyle. Classic Carl and Kevin Columbus. So in 1683, like a whole almost hundred years

later, the second wooden lookout tower was replaced with a sturdy well-made coquina shell structure coquina is like a sediment stone that is only found there oh and like two other places in the world oh shit so wait so originally this wasn't a lighthouse they were just like lookout towers do you know who's like making these like natives or is it like columbus the government i don't christ? Was there a government? Kyle Columbus, maybe?

I think it was Kyle or maybe it was Carl Columbus. I think it was the twins. It was a twin, Kyle and Carl Columbus. Yeah, the Columbus twins. This is me as a history teacher and you as my fucking substitute. I'm the TA. I'm like, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. The Columbus twins.

Oh, yeah, the Columbus twins. Kyle and Carl Columbus. Okay. Oh, yeah. The Columbus twins. They were there. Kyle and Carl Columbus. Okay. Oh, my God. It's actually very fortuitous. Isn't, like, Columbus Day tomorrow? Is it? Yeah.

Well, how would I fucking know? I'm only American. Kyle Columbus. Is tomorrow Columbus Day? Oh, no. Sorry. Last Monday was Columbus Day, though. Oh, happy fake American founding day.

Happy belated Carl and Kyle day. Slash indigenous people day. Yes. Hashtag political statement. Happy I'm sorry day from all of us current Americans. So much. So much to apologize for. So much.

Carl and Kyle. I'm sorry. So disappointed. I don't claim them. They're not mine. We have a lot to apologize for. So in 1820, we're really skipping through time. So Carl and Kyle are long dead at this point.

So Carl and Kyle got in their fucking DeLorean and hopped over to 1820. Or it could be Carl and Kyle III. Oh, very back to the future of you. I try. I thought you just might. So in 1820, the structure is finally converted into a real lighthouse. So, you know, it only took almost 300 years. No big deal.

It's fine. In 1876, the lighthouse, they built a spot. Because originally the light keepers, sounds like a housekeeper, a light keeper. Sure. They were living on the grounds near the lighthouse but now they were building a spot in the lighthouse

to be basically an apartment for where... Oh, so they would like live there. They lived in the lighthouse. Okay. That happened in 1876. Which I feel like

became a thing. I think so. Because I feel like in the Northeast too like most light keepers would live in the lighthouse. Light keeper. That's such a... Isners would live in the lighthouse. Light keeper. That's such a...

Isn't it lighthouse keeper? Light keeper? I don't know. Whatever. Same thing. On the Quidditch team, I was a keeper. Were you? I'm a keeper.

Yeah, you are. Allison. I applied to be on the Quidditch team and they rejected me because I said I wasn't athletic enough. So that's... Well, I wasn't athletic enough either. I was a keeper. I was goalie. I didn't have to do anything. Well, I wasn't athletic enough either. I was a keeper. I was goalie. I didn't have to do anything.

But the poor snitch, holy crap, you had to be on the track team and be able to run like 10 miles without stopping. I asked to be the keeper, and they were like, we actually have some people who are more qualified. I was like, fuck you. Our Quidditch team was so underrated, no one even knew we had a Quidditch team, so they were just desperate for people. There wasn't even really a tryout.

It was like, please, please be the keeper i went to like the nerdiest school of all time so they were like we have way too many they're like go try out for the basketball team maybe you'll make that go try out for football you fucking square we had like a little we had t-shirts that said undefeated since like 18 whatever no 1920 because we didn't have a football team so it was like american university football undefeated since 1922 or whatever year whatever year our school was founded because like we didn't have a fucking football team well we had a football team for i mean we're d3 so like to people with actual football teams we don't have oh we were d3 basketball and we were very proud of it we yeah

we were um we were d3 basketball and we were really good but i mean we were really good for d3 you know they would like try to make us go to the games by being like we have free pizza please come so sad but i couldn't make it on the quidditch team because it was too competitive like it's so sad i played for a semester it was not worth my time i realized how much they were running around and it was like i don't want to do that i was like this is i don't need this kind of negativity. No. I'd rather be surrounded by pizza eaters and hookah smokers and keep that out of my life. All right.

Where were we? We were talking about Quidditch, I think. Okay. So, light keepers. Sure, that. So, currently the lighthouse has been restored and is now open to the public. So, it's like 500 years old, basically. Holy crap.

Or it's like 450 or something like that uh also fun fact these days they have several tours they also have eight different paranormal investigation companies that work with them to do tours and investigations eight eight um but they have their own personal paranormal tour called the dark of the moon tour that sounds creepy the thing i like about it is that the only light provided on this tour because it's a night tour throughout the lighthouse in the in the middle of the dark the only light provided are glow sticks around your neck so you can see other people i was about to say it's the light of the moon that's the light of the moon i was gonna dark of the moon say it with you but glow sticks okay glad we didn't try anything in unison there would have been real bad so um fun fact children are often prone to accidents here

so in 1873 during construction of the tower the foreman um who lived on the grounds his children were playing around on the property and they were playing on a supply cart that i guess back then they had like tram carts that go from the lighthouse to the dock of the ocean yeah so the kids were riding the tram and uh the cart broke loose off the cables and they weren't able to jump out in time and the cart slid rapidly into the water plummeting so both of them ends up getting stuck in the water and it had turned upside down so like you couldn't they couldn't lift it what the fuck so two of his four kids survived the other two drowned and their friend also drowned wait that's really fucking

sad yeah holy shit so the two youngest survived and the two oldest drowned with their friend that is heartbreaking um wait the oldest drowned or the oldest the oldest drowned and the two oldest drowned with their friend that is heartbreaking um wait the oldest drowned or the oldest the oldest drowned and the two younger ones survived that's tragic uh so that's that for the history well that was fun so here are just all the ways that it's been haunted okay i'm ready the staff locks the door before they um the staff will lock the doors before they leave but when they come back the doors will be wide open when the staff locks the door before they, um, the staff will lock the doors before they leave. But when they come back, the doors will be wide open when the staff is coming into to work. Oh no.

The lighthouse staff will also report the chairs have been moved, overturned, or are now upside down. Um, various items in the gift shop will go missing or move on their own only to reappear in their own spot later after you're looking for it. We know about that. We know all about that. Mr.

Chatfield. Chatfield. I was like Mr. Charleston. Hey, close enough. It's the same thing. Me and history. Good enough. It's like Carl Kyle whatever. It's like Kyle Columbus. Kyle Chatfield. It's fine. Music boxes have been known to wind up and play by themselves.

Okay. That's my, Oh, remember Celine who submitted the stories? She had a music box that would play by itself. No, she didn't. She would. I remember one time we came home and she was in the backyard, like up the hill, sitting by herself in like a behind the bushes. And I was like, what are you doing up there? Cause we were next door neighbors. And she's like, I got home from school and she was home alone. And she said she was sitting got home from school and she was home alone. And she said she was sitting in a room and just her, she had like this old music box that like she never touched and it was on a shelf and it just started like going off and going off. And so she ran outside and then she got onto her back porch and she was like calling her

uncle David who lived up the street. And so she was calling him on the house phone and she saw two men walking down the back hill like through the brush we had these like weird ass like what the fuck big hills that were really creepy was it a break-in she has no idea but so she saw like two men walking back so she ran to the front porch and then her uncle david was like come over so she ran up the street windows house and like her parents came home and nothing was like wrong but she was hysterical like there were she said there were two men just like it was all like ivy like overgrown and she said they were just walking down the hill it was really steep in her backyard and what the fuck she was terrified and after that it was like hesitant to sleep over anyway sorry oh my god it's just one of my okay well everyone send prayers to celine like whatever everyone like just in your mind's eye go back to that time and give her good wishes

and maybe we're what saved her maybe let's make it about us we were those scary men walking through the ivy to protect her oh there it is okay more like our good wishes now are the ones that told her to get out of the house oh yes, yes. That's more like it. So one tour guide said that the creepiest thing was hearing the music boxes wind up on their own. Oh, that is creepy. And then hearing them play. So someone's like manually winding them. Oof. Some say the light keeper's quarters is always 10 degrees colder and they always feel really like frigid when they go in there.

And a tall man will appear before them and then disappear into mist. Shadow figures will walk around the tower. Misty hands and live human hands will come through the tower door as if pushing the door open or pulling it closed. So it'll show up as either an apparition or, like, a full-bodied figure. Like, they'll see, like, what looks like normal human hands, but they know they're the only people there. Oh no. One tour guide also saw furniture moving around by itself, like watched it moving around by itself. Oh my God.

One tour guide said, I've had a few arm hairs plugged off me. I know. Like, ow. Like at least take the eyebrow hairs to to make it look better on you. Yeah, at least to help us. Like personal hygiene. What's the word I'm thinking of? Like frame our face?

I don't know what the word is. Pluck your eyebrow hairs? Sure, whatever. Just be kinder. Don't pluck my arm hairs. That's that easy. It's not hard. Or get the stray hair that's on someone's chin that they're missing

or like you know how some people get like like one like i have a weird arm hair that like grows like back no it like grows like 10 times the length of any other arm hair and it like you'll pluck it and it'll come back right yeah the follicle has superpowers yes exactly like why doesn't the ghost say like oh you missed a spot missed a spot? Yeah, exactly. Instead, it's like, hee hee hee. Like, what if you're, like, shaving your legs? Like, can you help us there? Oh, yeah. Just, like, get that strip that I always miss. That's what I'm saying.

Could do it a lot of different ways to get my attention. Could be helpful. Nope. Okay, the tour guide said, I've had a few arm hairs plucked off me in the basement of the keeper's house. Rather recently, I had my ankle grabbed. That was pretty amusing since I was in the middle of my tour so it looked like i randomly tripped over air wouldn't that be nice for all the times i've tripped in my fucking life to just be like oh

it was a ghost not me being clumsy oh my god that's probably what he did he probably did trip and he was like no it was totally somebody i did it on purpose i was just the ghost oh my god i could use that for every time i would have used that excuse a thousand times. You shouldn't use that excuse. You were like, as a paranormal investigator, sometimes ghosts just grab me and I fall in my face. Okay, that's the reason. I actually am very graceful. You just wouldn't know it because the ghosts try to keep me down. I'm so graceful.

So another tour guide said one night the automated light system in the lighthouse was acting weird. So when he arrived, he went across the yard to the lighthouse and he heard a guy's footsteps behind him on the gravel. And so he turned around and the footsteps stopped and no one was there. And as he climbed the stairs to the top, he heard the footsteps again. And after checking the problem and fixing it, he booked it. But he heard a guy. And it's like an open room. He can definitely

see if someone's there or not and he could hear the footsteps pacing behind him while he was fixing the lights oh no so the guy like just totally followed him up there no no there have been disembodied conversations that people can't understand but had definitely heard um people can smell the cigars that the light keepers used to smoke on the premises before the property banned smoking on the show ghost hunters zach baggins zach baggins still hasn't uh blocked unblocked you has he i'm waiting for the day he uh they during their investigation they found unusual sounds voices and strange shadows moving up and down the lighthouse but apparently those are all common things that people catch anyway.

So to the people working there, they were like, well, yeah. Yeah, like you didn't need a TV show to tell us that. I was like, oh, thank you, Zach Baggins, for your ego. Thanks, Mr. Baggins. So, um. And your acid wash jeans. I'm just bitter. I'm sorry.

I'm just bitter. It's fine. It's not you. It's me. It's not. It's not Zach. It's not me. I'm not saying it's me.

I'm just also saying it's not you. So it's someone, but also not me. But like, don't get the wrong idea. I don't hate you, but I also don't like you. It's like, do you get it? Yeah. I got it. Okay, good.

I don't think anyone else has that. No, nobody gets it, but no. So one guard walked down the hallway in the middle of the night after hearing giggling of children and found dirty footprints of a child up and down the stairs. And then when he went up there, there was no one there. Can you imagine just being like, oh, is there a child in here? But yeah, can you imagine knowing that there's children ghosts and so you just don't know when they're ever going to be around?

It's creepy enough to have actual children running around giggling. Yeah, live human children are creepy enough. Don't make them running around giggling yeah human live human children are creepy enough don't make them dead and invisible and have dirty feet and that's also rude like that if you're the light keeper or the guard and you have to keep that place clean and i are seeing muddy shoes and there's no one to even like discipline yeah uh workers will also find oh locked doors standing wide open the next day they'll hear children's laughter on the stairwell. And tour guides will reportedly experience multiple incidences of being touched or grabbed by ghosts, just like that one guy who got grabbed and tripped. Oh, right, right. In 2009, a cell tower technician took a photo of his co-worker with the lighthouse in the background.

And when the picture developed, you can see a young girl in a long dress with long hair standing alone at the top observation deck oh no that's like out of a movie there's a guy known as the man in blue who apparently will follow you all the way up the stairs and all the way down the stairs which by the way is 219 stairs who the fuck is walking up and down those stairs but this is my kind of party because apparently they have breaks at every 50 step interval. Oh, okay. They have like places for you. I don't know if it's places for you to chill because it's a fucking lighthouse or it's

at least a wide platform for you to stand. Is there like a snack stand? See, if I were in charge of this lighthouse, every two steps there'd be a break and it'd be a nice sauna spa lounge they'd also have like like a little like wine bar your reward as you climb is that each break lounge gets better oh sure there's like a cocktail hour at the very top there's like a midnight bar oh for sure with like you really gotta you really gotta want it you gotta like work those calves to get there i'm just saying i'd be a really good fitness instructor yeah you would there's a gif of someone sitting like a their car is open like the trunk is open

and he's sitting on the on the back of the trunk right and he's just like and someone else is driving his car but he's sitting on the back of the open trunk and he's just holding out money and people behind him are running and it like, that's supposedly my motivation for running is someone just has to throw money at me. Be like, come get it. One time my mom told me this is really horrible and I'm sure she's changed her ways. But when I was like 12, she told me that,

remember how I just told you that I was eating peanut M&Ms at my dad's house all the time. And so she got really frustrated because I gained a lot of weight. She said, if I kept gaining weight, that she would start deducting money from you. No. What? She would start driving around the neighborhood and making me like chase the car to lose weight. Was Alex on the trunk handing you money? Cause I chase it.

No, I didn't get money out of it. She was just like, I would force you to chase the car around the neighborhood until you lost all the weight again. I was like, that seems really cruel for a 10-year-old, but okay. And when I'm starting to gain too much weight, my mom won't say that I'm gaining weight. She'll just recommend gyms. She's like, well, I know there's a really good gym. Have you been doing anything lately? And she knows it's a no. I heard about this great lighthouse gym where you climb 200 stairs.

Oh, man. I wish i would go to that gym i'm saying it'd be a good time yeah it would be um what else is happening besides me almost dropping the mic i have probably just like crazy shit so there's a guy known as the man in blue and apparently this is what i was saying he will follow you all the way up the stairs and all the way down the stairs. You can just hear him behind you. So, like, when you get to the top, does he just, like, leave you alone? Just hangs out, I guess. He's like, I'll wait for you to walk back down. Yeah, you let me know when you're ready.

I'll pop on down. Supposedly, this man's name is Joseph Andro. Okay. And he was one of the first keepers, or not really the first considering how old this place was, but he was a keeper there in the 1850s, and he died when he was painting the tower and fell off. Oh, my God.

And then there was another guy who hanged himself from the tower years later who was a keeper. What the fuck? Another keeper died there of tuberculosis in 1889 um a couple years before that another keeper's wife died on the property a lot of a lot of people so one of the uh like suspicions is that if you are working on the property either you or someone you care about will die either on the property or near the property that's really fucking true i mean that guy literally lost two of his children yeah oh so like if you're related to it or involved in

that environment at all someone you care about might get hurt i mean it sounds like a lot of people died yeah for for the like in ratio to the amount of people who actually work there yes that's true yeah so um one lighthouse keeper was so unnerved by the man in blue that he actually refused to live in the lighthouse any longer and just found another place nearby but kept working there i'm i guess the wages were that good oh so he worked there but lived somewhere else yeah okay so people connected to this lighthouse um have died like i said and like one example is of like the house quote thinking for itself or or the ghost being in charge, is that for no reason at all,

a scaffold collapsed and beams fell down, and a spike either flew or was thrown at a worker, sending him to the hospital. So even if you're on the property and not doing anything shady, the building will literally just collapse on you. The building's like, get away from me. It's like, why don't you understand that I need space leave me alone basically all over the property is an unfriendly atmosphere

and so many mishaps will will go on that the workers will ultimately just quit because they're like i'm tired of either having to clean up something that i just cleaned up and is now dirty or taking credit for things um that people are mad about like all these loud noises or people touching them or people walking too close to them and i'm all the way over there but yeah you know i'm still the one getting in trouble in the basement the same man in blue who's apparently a tall military man in uniform has been seen standing in the doorway and walking around the room as if he's on duty there's also pictures of him online people get good pictures on the property of like his ghost yeah oh shit um there is a spirit of a little kid who will giggle and play tricks on visitors which i don't fucking play i don't even like normal tricks

with alive people so don't be dead and do that m doesn't even play charades like exactly don't fucking don't giggle and think I'm going to giggle too. I'm not. M's not going to have a good time. Footsteps go up the stairs when nobody's there. One guest who was sleeping over, he woke up at 3 a.m. to see a young girl around 13 or 15, which is the same age as one of the older girls who drowned. And she was standing beside his bed in a long old-fashioned dress staring at him,

and she was soaking wet. Oh, my long old-fashioned dress staring at him and she was soaking wet oh my god that's like samara shit from the rain oh that just gave me chills people will see a shadow figure and then get so cold that they feel like they're in a freezer and in 1970 the lighthouse just caught on fire for no reason okay it's just like throwing spikes and setting itself on fire also there's a lot of videos online of people's investigations. I wanted to get a comprehensive list of all the EVPs and everything, but there's so many videos, I just wasn't going to be able to collect all of them in time. Yeah. But if you type in St. Augustine Lighthouse ghost pictures or EVPs, they're all good.

But there are two pictures I did want to show you. We'll tweet them. We can. Slash Instagram them. This is one of the men in uniform. Ew. Although he looks orange and not blue in that one. Yeah.

But I guess that's the photo. You can definitely see him in a hat and his military jacket and all that. He's walking. Then this is a picture of an orb that they found, but it literally looks like a whole body. That's an orb? Yeah, but it's an orb that has stretched out into a whole human form. Oh, it looks like a fucking woman to me. Yeah, that's what I thought.

It has hair. That's what I'm saying. I've never seen an orb with hair. And then this is my favorite one. This is security footage. Oh no. And they found a girl favorite one. This is security footage. Oh, no. And they found a girl in a dress standing outside the doorway. Holy shit.

Oh, no. This is from MySpace.com, by the way. Yeah, I know. Chris Millsaps sent it over to me. That's from the last episode, if you guys don't know the reference. Yep. Oh, my God. That is just standing there.

It looks like a lesbian porn. I'm saying. It looks like the beginning of something in a castle. But actually, for real, guys, look up St. Augustine ghosts. That's really, really, really, really, really creepy. Thanks. So, anyway, that's the lighthouse for you. All right.

That was quite a journey. Thank you. All right. Give me a little of that razzle dazzle. I'm going to razzle dazzle you, as I said, with a story suggested by your good friend and my new friend, Deirdre. The one and only.

It was also suggested to us by a Twitter user named Insanity Rises. Oh, it's probably Deirdre the one and only it was also suggested to us by um a twitter user named insanity rises oh it's probably deirdre it's deirdre's pen name no so our pal insanity rises on twitter and deirdre suggested this topic and i finally got around to it um this is the story of issei sagawa hmm um and i want to warn you guys, it's pretty gross. It's disturbing. So if you have like a weak stomach or like, you know, small children, maybe step away from this one or just. Unless you're me and I just have to deal with it. Just listen to it, but just know that I warned you so you can't yell at me.

Okay. Okay. Okay. know that I warned you so you can't yell at me. Okay? Okay. Okay. So a lot of this I just want to preface.

I got from an interview that Vice did with Sagawa himself. Okay. So it's very like firsthand information. And you don't know the story, right? Mm-hmm. Okay. It is a doozy to tell you that much. Okay. All right.

Issei Sagawa, also known as Pang, which is weird because i just never saw him references that anywhere else but apparently maybe that's what he calls himself wikipedia it's like he's also known as this so so he's known as pang on wikipedia just only on wikipedia.org yep okay so issei sagawa was born in kobe japan on april 26 1949. He was born into a wealthy family, but he was born prematurely. And he was reportedly born so small that he fit into his father's hand. He was also diagnosed with a disease of the small intestine called enteritis. But after several treatments, he recovered from that. So he actually described himself in that vice article I mentioned as, um,

weak from the moment he was born. He said his legs were so skinny. They looked like pencils. Um, he was actually only five feet tall as an adult. So he was, yeah, he was pretty small. Um, in his childhood, he admitted that he took part in bestiality with his dog. Okay. So that was, i didn't know how to transition into that because it was just nope just gonna do it just dive right in there is no easy way to start that conversation so he took part in bestiality with his dog and when he was in the first grade he developed cannibalistic urges after seeing a classmate's thigh and wanting to eat it all right it's first grade maybe that was a you know how we

all think like babies like little chubby thighs are just the cutest things in the world maybe that first grader just hadn't fully stretched out of his baby fat yet and he was just like that's a that's a he's like you're so cute i want to eat you a little chunky thigh do you know why when we see like um really cute puppies or kittens or babies why you want to like squish them why like you know um of mice and men when he like i mean i already know what you're talking about because i want to squish geo all the time do you know like why that happens psychologically it's really interesting um i read an article on it because i wanted to just like smash geo when he was a a baby. I was like, you're so cute.

I want to like squeeze you. No, I don't know. It's because your brain, it's like you get such a rush of like endorphins that your brain can't handle it. So it like tries to counteract it by getting like almost violent where like you can't control how like overwhelmed you are with like good feelings about it that your brain kind of tries to push back and so you just want to like squish it to like violently counteract how obsessively like crazed you are yeah oh isn't it crazy that's a fun fact that we all know now creepy anyway um So apparently that's not quite what was happening, I guess. Okay.

That's a whole other story. He just wanted to eat his classmate. I don't know. I don't know how to psychologically figure that one out. But basically, after that, he developed an obsession with Grace Kelly. And he also developed an obsession with white Western people in general especially tall white western people um and uh tall western women became the trigger for his cannibalistic fantasies okay me too yeah sure same um he explained advice that this obsession stemmed from an inferiority complex

because like i said he was um five feet tall he said he was always considered himself short and ugly uh and he said he wanted to gnaw on people's flesh as a form of sexual desire so he said it wasn't a real hunger like oh i'm hungry for food i want to eat a person it was more just like a sexual fetish as he called it and um it was to overcompensate or like for being being small and. Yeah, to make up for his own insecurities. I mean, that's just the Napoleon complex, but with cannibalism. But just like worse. Yeah. Yeah, exactly.

But he also never thought he was better than anyone. He just, he was just like, I'm worse than everyone else. So I want to eat people. Like he called himself ugly and short and was like, so that's why I want to eat people Like he called himself ugly And short and was like so that's why I want to eat Beautiful women that's pretty interesting because I would have imagined that you've got to be like a Narcissist or All right he's totally

Like no I'm short and ugly so I want to eat People all right like He wasn't even fucking around about like why Um so anyway Let's fast forward age 23 Mm-hmm Living in Tokyo he sees a tall german woman heading home he follows her back to her apartment and after she's asleep he breaks in

his plan was to tear off a piece of her flesh and walk away so he could eat it at home but she woke up and pushed him to the ground. Police charged him with attempted rape, but he wouldn't admit to why he was actually there. So four years later, when he was 27, Sagawa moved to France to pursue a PhD in literature at the Sorbonne. Almost every night while living there, he would bring a sex worker home and he would hold a gun to them.

But while they were turned around. So did they know there was a gun held to them no oh shit so he would hold a gun to their backs as they washed their vaginas in the bidet what this is what he described this is not on me guys i didn't i didn't know this is not shoot the messenger do not do not uh so he said as they would wash their vaginas in the bidet i mean again we're in france that's a thing there uh he would hold a gun to like up behind them and he said every single time he would freeze and he couldn't pull the trigger but he said it wasn't moral like his morals that stopped him it was his instinct because he knew

the world would fall apart as soon as he pulled the trigger whatever the fuck that means like his world would fall apart yes you know that's interesting i've i've had that conversation before of like if that exact one i'm just like whoa rewind the idea of like nothing stops people from doing anything except from your morals and your fear of the law yeah other than that there's really nothing stopping people from doing anything they want what about like really fucked up things what about like your fear of like going to hell or something like that is that that's different than morals isn't it because morals i feel like is more of like a societal thing yeah i don't know but you're right like it's like religion morals and and the law like they're currently

yeah like the law society yeah i just think that's interesting and it's kind of scary because it's like only those two things or three things are keeping everyone from maybe hurting you which actually is something he talked about. Cause he said, he's like, he's like, I think people just don't want to eat other people because they have the idea that it's taboo. And I'm like, I don't want to eat other people, but nice try. But he even says, he said several times, like, no, I think this is normal. Like most people want to eat other people as like a sexual thing. And I'm like, no, I think this is normal. Like most people want to eat other people as like a sexual thing. And I'm like, I think it's too late for me to attribute that to sexual gratification. What do you mean?

Like, I mean, I'm sure if I grew up thinking that that was normal, then yeah, I'd probably, I'd be more open-minded to it at the very least, not saying I would or wouldn't, but if I grew up in a world where it was like, it wasn't a no, no, no, then maybe I'd be like, okay, well, some people do it. Some people don't. I bet you wouldn't like, I still don't think I'd be able to, because I mean, this guy was born not in a family that was like, let's eat people, you know? And he just couldn't by the age of six, he couldn't stop himself. Yeah. It definitely is like a, is it nature or nurture? Cause even, cause even though it's not like his family encouraged him, but if you're telling yourself as young as six years old that this is something you want, then you're going to grow up kind

of normalizing it. Yeah. But is that nurture in the sense that other people are fostering that? Or is that just like it's part of you as you grow up? I don't know if he was... I feel like if he was born with it and at age zero, that was going to eventually become a trigger than its nature. But if at six years old, something just happened and no one ever told him, no, that's wrong. He nurtured himself into thinking it was normal.

But like how at six is anyone going to be like, by the way, don't eat. Like, I feel like a society in general tells you not to do like he knew it wasn't a thing you could do, you know. I feel like know i feel like but i feel like some people grow up with fetishes like some people have a foot fetish some people have a whatever fetish some people some people eat your face fetish you know and some people like have something fucking crazy like this that they sexualize and they're like no it's normal and it's like i like i want to be the i want to like i mean i don't even know the rest of the story and I know that's probably incredibly fucked up and I don't I'm going to erase this go on. No no you're fine I don't want to like condone anything that he's doing but I'd like to think I'm like usually an open minded person for people having like weird kinks and fetishes like and weird is not even the right word that I should be using but but like, there's a lot of different interests out there. Absolutely. There'd be no way for me to ever judge someone. So I don't want

to be a dick and judge him. But that's what I'm saying is like, I feel like this guy's using that as a reason for like, Oh, the things I'm doing are normal and fine. Yeah. Like, Oh, I can do this because it's just an innate thing. And it's like, Hmm, I gotcha. Because you know, it's like, okay, sure. I also, I mean, I probably erase this this too but like some people as we discussed i think some people are born with like a pedophilic like urge or tendency and it's like that doesn't mean you can go to child porn and like right right kidnap kids and rape them like even even if it's innate naturally born in you you still exactly better than to not do it. And like, sure, that is fucking awful. And it's not fair.

You have to live like that. But it's also like that doesn't mean you can automatically hurt other people. Yeah. I don't know. OK, I agree with you. But yeah, again, like I know the rest of the story. So it's like harder to. I don't know what's going on.

Be impartial. But yes. OK. OK. OK. So anyway, he would try and shoot sex workers, but he couldn't do it. But he said it wasn't his morals. It was just the inherent knowledge

that the second he did it, his world would collapse. Yeah, exactly. So apparently, at this point, he had this moment of realization that he decided he needed to carry out his ritual of killing a girl no matter what. Oh, no. Which he explained himself. This is his words.

So a little while into his studies, when he was 32 years old, Sagawa met a Dutch woman named Renee Hartevelt, who was one of his classmates at the Sorbonne. renee hartevelt who was one of his classmates at the sorbonne um he found all the french women he had met up to then um very beautiful but stuck up and out of his league in his words um but he said renee was different she was friendly she was warm she wanted to be friends with him and so they developed a bond um one night sagawa invited her to felt over for a hot pot party. It was just the two of them. She came over and she was washing her hands. And he said, when he saw her washing her hands, he was reminded of the sex workers washing themselves in the bidet and knew she was the next candidate for his ritual. Um, so every time she came over, so nothing happened that night, but every time she came

over from then on out, he would find himself pointing a gun at her like he did with the sex workers and he couldn't shoot. Can you imagine how many times she came over to hang out at his place and he's just like holding a gun to her back? And she, she didn't know, right? No idea. Like this happened many times where he just couldn't pull the trigger that's like finding out now that that's what i've been doing to you this whole time i was about to say

it's like one of us fucking like almost killing each other every time we came over that's so horrifying it's horrifying um so one day an employee from his father's company in Japan came to Paris. The employee took Sagawa out to dinner for Japanese food. Sagawa had a fever and spent the whole dinner thinking about how heart to belt was coming over the next day. He was worrying that if he got food poisoning from the raw fish they were eating, that he wouldn't be able to realize his fantasy. He spent all day obsessing and worrying over that point. And that's why the next day he decided to finally pull the trigger. Okay.

But the gun misfired and nothing happened. No. And he said he went hysterical. So he like held the gun, but it wasn't a thing where like she knew it misfired. He just pulled the trigger and nothing happened. So she didn't even recognize that a gun was still pointed at her. She had no idea. And she came. That's a guardian angel stepping the fuck in.

But she came back. Oh my. Well, yes. So two days later, she came over again. So basically he pulled the gun. Right. Like guardian angel, like nothing happened. And then two days later, he invited her over again.

Yeah. Because he said at that point he was hysterical and knew he had to do it. So he crept up from behind, holding his breath. He described this in a Vice article. He said he held his breath, crept up from behind, went right up to her, pulled the trigger directly into her neck, and she died instantly. went right up to her and pulled the trigger directly into her neck and she died instantly apparently he fainted from the shock of it because he had never actually killed anybody before then he woke up and continued with his plan um he said quote for a split second i thought about calling an ambulance but then i thought hang on don't be stupid you've been dreaming about this

for 32 years and now it's actually happening uh sagawa raped her corpse oh my god and then next as you can guess he tried to eat her he couldn't manage to bite into her skin because as he said human skin is much thicker than he expected so he left the apartment and bought a butcher knife. He spent the next two days eating various parts of her body and would store the rest in the fridge. This is a passage from the interview that I just couldn't even write in my own words. I just want to read it to you because it's just like so beyond not okay.

He said, this must sound rich coming from me, but the moment the girl became a corpse, I realized that I had lost an important friend He said, To this day, I still think, if only she had let me taste her just a little bit. If we had spent another evening having dinner and chatting about our families, I never would have been able to kill her. In other words, I can't project my fantasies onto somebody who is already personified in my mind. That's why my first candidates were all prostitutes. I had a lot of other female friends as well, but I would never have dreamed of eating them since I considered them human beings with their own individual personalities people tell me that i killed her because i loved her but why would i kill and eat someone whom i truly loved that's a lot of information that was long i know no it's just it's just like that's his

like so he explanation he only regrets it because he had already. He was like, he already cared for her. Yeah. He was like, well, I guess I realized once she was dead, like, oh, I kind of missed her. No, you spent every time she came over attempting to kill her. Yep. Whatever. That's gnarly.

It's fucked up. It's gnarly. A few days later, Sagawa was spotted carrying two suitcases into a park outside of Paris. The suitcases contained what was left of Rene Hartsfeld. Police apprehended Sagawa, and he was arrested. Upon his arrest, he claimed that he had eaten her in an attempt to absorb her energy. Oh, my God. So, police arrest him. Open and shut case, right?

Mm-hmm. Well, despite eyewitness accounts, evidence at his apartment of, like, her being dead and being eaten there, and his confession that, yes, I ate her. Hi, I'm right here admitting it. Hello. Police were unable to convict him. Why? How?

For what? For why? His wealthy father provided him a lawyer, and a judge found that he was legally insane and was therefore unable to stand trial for her murder. Soon after that, a Japanese author visited Sagawa in Paris and published an account of the murder in Sagawa's eyes. So it was like an account from his perspective. And that's called In the Fog. OK. an account from his perspective and that's called in the fog okay so sagawa became somewhat of a celebrity and because of that french authorities decided to have him deported back to japan

where he was committed to a hospital for psychiatric reasons but there the psychologist declared him sane and determined that his sole motivation for the murder was sexual perversion and because the charges in france had been dropped sagawa couldn't be legally detained so he checked himself out of the hospital on august 12th 1986 and has remained free ever since so he's free totally and it never been imprisoned hence the vice interview where he's just like oh hey so i just like wanted to eat this lady and he can just straight up admit it and no one can do anything now. The Vice article is horrifying. Horrifying.

Like, he explains how he ate her body and, like, what parts. How did he do it? He said the thighs were the best part. Well, that also could, I don't, not to, like, you know, split hairs here, but he also could think that it's the best because that's the part he's wanted to eat for the longest. That's true he also said that the first thing he um were her genitals oh he said she was on her period so it smelled really bad and that he swallowed them whole because it smelled too bad to eat to chew one night um he said that uh her heels tasted really bad he said that her tongue tasted great um he said that the farther up the body you go this the better tasting a body is and he said that um after a couple days

of sitting the body tastes sweeter and it's a much more pleasant taste than the first when it's raw and the when they're first weird killed so fucked she's 25 and he's just able to waltz around and admit it he doesn't care at all totally and he can totally get away with it oh yeah he's described how her to in an article in an interview how her the fat in her butt was like corn so he didn't want to eat it. So he cut all the way down to like the meat, to the muscle. It's like... Wow. That's a lot to take in. It's really...

That's why, yeah. Okay. Anyway. Oh, good. There's more. Okay. So these days, Sagawa, as I said, is free. He writes articles and books about the murder and also about famous women.

He recently... It was probably like five or six years ago now, he published a book called Extremely Intimate Fantasies of Beautiful Girls. He told Vice that being known as a murderer and living out in the open is the worst punishment one could get. Oh, great. I'm sorry. It's so rude of us to call you a murderer when you don't even have to serve time. Must be so hard to like live your life however you want. Honestly, I don't know how you do it. And he said he'd rather have been executed or locked up because at least when you're in jail, you get shelter and clothes. You know, that could be a situation that he's already experienced where he says he wants to do something because a certain thing, and then he actually would do it and be like,

well, this is not something I want. I think he should be thankful that he's not in jail, although the rest of us should be so mad. Of course he should be thankful. Yeah, what a fucking asshole. He also said you can't imagine how difficult it is to live under surveillance from society. It's like you ate your best friend.

I can't imagine how horrible that must be for you. You literally shot your best friend and then ate her body. 25 year old woman. Yeah, they're there. We'll try to be better to you now. Finally, the woman who was like trying to be friends with you. Asshole. So Sagawa asked his interviewer advice if they could call for young, beautiful women

who would willingly like to be eaten by him. Oh my. He says he still craves human flesh more than anything and is intent on tasting it again before he dies he says it would be worth it even if he was executed for it so that's great this guy's just on the streets like i don't care if they kill me i just want to eat human flesh jesus he didn't learn from the first time at all no he said it was the most amazing experience he's ever had and he wants to do it again.

Can you imagine being the interviewer in a room alone listening to this guy being like, oh yeah, I don't care if they kill me, I'll do anything I can to get my hands on human flesh. And he's staring you in the eyes. Oh, for sure. He also said his ideal way to go to die would be to drown in a woman's saliva. He said that he couldn't imagine a better way to pass away. I can. He even had a friend

who willingly let him drink her urine regularly. She would stand above him and pee into his mouth. And he said it was just the most delicious and wonderful thing he's ever experienced.

And he also said that when she had a baby, she would leave him containers of her pee to drink. But he said that once she had a baby, it tasted different because he could taste her motherhood in the urine. And so it was no longer delicious because she had turned from a sex object to an old matron. No,

just like a human. He said she had turned into like, turned from like a sexual object to an old matron. No, just like a human. He said she turned from a sexual object to an actual person who had a baby. And a story and a life. And do you want to know what his biggest regret is? Oh, yeah. That he didn't have grandchildren for his parents, but he said nothing else he regrets.

Hmm. What a stupid. stupid asshole. Stupid. It makes me so mad. So yeah, that's some cannibal fun for you. Cannibal fun. Thanks, Deirdre, and insanity rises. Thanks,

insanity rises. Pretty nutso. Deirdre. Geo. Shit. Deirdre, shut theirdre. Geo. Shit. Deirdre, shut the fuck up. Geo, sit. Sorry. Sorry, Deirdre. Deirdre, shut up.

Baby G. Aw. Speaking of baby G. I'm ready for it. I got it. Okay, give me the horoscope. I got the Geo horoscope. Gimme gimme. Because that story really kind of fucked me up. Oh, yeah, I imagine that one had to take you for a ride. Just, like, cleanse from that story. It's very, very fucking tragic.

Can you imagine being her family, too, and, like, he never... Oh, my God, and he's not even sorry. Nothing. He's not sorry. Oh, he also became a celebrity and an author and a reporter. Like, he just talks openly about how... That would suck the worst. Not even that he got away with it or that he's not sorry.

But the fact that he's now getting asked for paid interviews to openly no remorse at all. For sure. Just talk about your child or your sibling or your friend. He's a celebrity. And he also. Yeah, he has no remorse. He's basically a celebrity. And he complains that he gets that he has to be out in society.

Yeah. Oh, wow. I'm so sorry for you. Pissing me off. Anyway, so to cleanse our palates, I have a little geohoroscope. Baby G, are you ready? A geoscope? Is that what we call them?

A little baby geoscope. A geoscope. Are you ready? Listen up. Ready, Baby G? Baby, baby, baby. Scorpio horoscope. Still musing over the weekend's romantic escapades baby g don't rush to back to business mode today the moon and dreamy neptune

embrace in your fifth house of passion adding a sensual spin to your sunday agenda baby g an attraction could spark or you could be feeling especially amorous. With me, baby, baby? Nobody to sidle up to yet? Get glamorous for yourself, Scorpio. Aww. Spend extra time on your appearance, adding drama to your eye makeup, or popping by the salon to do something creative with your hair.

Aww. When you feel fabulous, you radiate magical energy that others will find irresistible. Baby G, you radiate magical energy that others can't resist. Gio, you are so irresistible. You're so good. Your eye makeup and your hair, it's just too much. Oh, he's smiling. Oh, he diddy diddy baby.

He's so good. Oh, guys. Baby handsome G. Thanks for sticking around. You're like almost 40 episodes in deep. So. So. Sucks for you guys.

We have to start thinking about planning Gio's birthday party. Oh, that's coming up. He's going to be two years old. Oh, my God. He's going to be two years old. He's so handsome. Such a good baby boy. Little baby boy.

Oh, my sweet baboo. He's going to be two years old. He's so handsome. Such a good baby boy. Little baby boy. Oh, my sweet Babu. He's going to be two. My sweet Babu will be two. Oh, my God. That's the theme of the party. That's definitely the theme of the party. And then next year will be baby jeans turning three. Oh, I can't handle myself.

Oh, my. Make it stop. Oh, my God. He's so cute. Christine, I love him so much. You do? That's weird. I didn't know that. Oh god he's so cute christine i love him so much you do that's weird i didn't know that oh he's my best friend anyway thanks guys for putting up with me yeah thanks for putting up with em um you can find us on the internet so oh is that your way of telling me i have to do it uh Patreon that you can donate.

Please donate. ATWWD Podcast. Yeah, I did it right. Yeah, you got it. We've got our email, and that's whywedrinkatgmail.com, where you can send in your listener stories. We do it once a month, on the first, every time. We have our website, and that's whywedrink.com. We have our merch store, and that's whywedrink.bigcartel.com.

We have, you can find us on Stitcher, iTunes, iHeartRadio, Spotify. All over the net. Thank you, thank you. Don't stop, won't stop. Don't stop, won't stop. Can't stop, won't stop. Thanks guys so much um we love you all uh sending your stories etc etc all right and that's why we drink and that's why you drink

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