And That's Why We Drink - E384 A Raccoon Bagel Infestation and a Birthday Shot in the Butt

Episode Date: June 16, 2024

Welcome to our birthday recap episode! We mean episode 384... we've got some sinister updates in the form of secret societies, allergy shots and toes holding toes. This week Em takes us on a wild ride of a story with the prison escape of Elias Henry Jones and Cedric Waters Hill. Then Christine covers the case of Inna Budnytska and the detective work of Ken Brennan. And let this be your sign not to put that last spritz of glitter on your project because as Renee's mom always says, you'll junk it up... and that's why we drink!We just announced our book tour! Check out if we're coming to your city to sign books: andthatswhywedrink.com/live

Hi! Hi! Welcome everybody to our birthday recap! How's your birthday? It was... You thought it was over, but it's still June and it will be for a long time. It's like people either know or they don't know and they're trapped.

They're about to find out. Let's talk about our birthdays, Christine. Tell me everything, because I know you're not gonna be able to top mine. So I feel like you should start. Yeah, and then I'll finale on top of yours. You know what I mean? What the hell does that mean?

Okay, Ms. Braggie. You build it up. Okay. You tell your tales. Yeah. I saw magical photos, but only like glimpses. I'll softball it to you. I'll do a soft launch and then you do,

apparently you will announce whatever the hell's going on on your end for your birthday. Okay. Oh, I will. So, whoo. Okay, we've been doing a lot. Alison really nailed it this year. Um, she, uh, I don't know, are you aware of Club 33?

No. Okay. Anything with the word club in it, unless it's um, Club Penguin, I'm not really familiar with most. So it's a, if you're a Disney person, it's a very, very big deal, apparently. Oh, I've heard of that.

Yes, yes, yes, the Disney thing. Yes, I know about that. Yes, so for those who don't know, Club 33 is like on the Disney lot. My understanding of it, if you're like a Disney adult with all the facts, I don't have them, so I'm so sorry if I'm gonna butcher this information to you, but to the layman, you and I, Christine.

Yes. The story goes that there's this, on one of the streets in Disneyland, there's this building that almost looks like it's part of the set of the facades, like the fake doors, and you wouldn't think there was anything real behind it, but there's, it's actually a secret door that leads to a secret private club.

Wow, this was meant for Em. But it's incredibly the rumors around her that it's this top tier exclusive space. You can only get in if you know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy and the only people who actually have access to this, there's a 20 year wait list, it's like $30,000 or something to even join.

It's like very ether rich. So I never had it. Is this in Anaheim as well as Florida or just Florida? It's in both of them. Okay, okay. To my knowledge. Allegedly. But I guess for people who want maybe more of the fun history on that,

it was a place that Walt Disney was creating. So that way he, I guess never had to fucking leave Disney. He would just have his own restaurant and private lounge right next to his own little apartment, or it was built alongside his apartment. I think they're right next to each other. And then he ended up dying before he ever got to go there But anyway, so it's now this like big super swanky thing that like it was never even on my list of things I would achieve of going to because we all know I love my secret clubs and my secret societies I have to like in the odd fellows, but you're not in club 33

Well, I I you me me, nobody we know will ever be able to afford access to this place. Not with that attitude. Now I want to do it. I've never even heard of it. I don't care about Disney. But now I'm like, you told me I can't. Here I come.

Give Christine a year. She'll be in Club 33. She'll be the president. Or she'll at least know the blood types of every member there. You know, I'll get to a point where I'll be like I have all this information and then you'll go now what and I'll go oh and then the crashing feeling that I always have after these rabbit holes which is okay but now what do I do with

this information and then I just feel depressed so yeah it'll be fun for a minute. The only time the first time I ever heard about it which I think it was the first time a few people in our, which I think it was the first time a few people in our age range heard about it was like Selena Gomez announced that she was part of it. And I think my understanding of the story is that like nobody knew about it until Selena Gomez like outed them. It was like, oh yeah, I'm part of this like this exclusive thing. So and then all of a sudden it became to friends of mine, it became this of like oh my god all these celebrities are part of this thing So anyway, Allison got me in Her and her wiles she figured it out and

She is somehow highly connected to someone who knows a guy knows a guy knows a guy knows a guy and So we got invited to go to have like a dinner there. Where there's, if you go, there's still a private section, which I think is where all the like, illuminati shit happens probably. Yeah, yeah, yeah, where they eat the rich. They eat like, I don't know.

Themselves. Yeah, they eat themselves, I don't know. They just eat dollar bills. But there's a a half of it is for guests who get invited who are not actually members and we got to do that which was so you get like a special glimpse into the finer things in life yeah I had no idea cuz Allison okay by the way horribly pitched did not pitch this well because she didn't know how to say it without like blowing the surprise

she didn't tell me we say it without like blowing the surprise She didn't tell me we were going to Disney which were not Disney like people so we've actually never been to Disney. So it was I Didn't even I had been once years ago It's never on my radar to go to Disney even though we live so kind of far Allison's never been and so we were driving towards Anaheim and I was like, I wonder what the hell's out here I was like not spary farm is out here. I was like, I wonder what the hell's out here. I was like, Knott's Berry Farm is out here. I was like, I don't know where we're going. So you were in for a surprise here. Yeah, I had no clue.

But the way she pitched it the day before was, I need you to wear fancy clothes and we're going to be walking all day. And I went, why the fuck? This sounds like the worst birthday of my life. Where are we going? Now it makes sense. So that was very fun.

And then on the way back, we went to medieval times, which is another thing that I did not foresee for my birthday, but we've driven past it. We've driven past it a million times. I've always been like, the hell's this medieval times thing? What the hell's this medieval time? So you ever went before? No, I never, I don't even, I didn't know anything about it. I just always thought- Oh, it's a big deal. You have to, we pass it on the way to Halloween stuff.

So at least once a year we have a conversation about medieval times. And I'm like, I know nothing about that place, but that looks really fun. It looks like a big old castle. So day one we did the club 33, day two we did medieval times. And then, and then she planned like a whole like dinner the Club 33, day two we did Medieval Times.

And then she planned a whole dinner with all my friends. How fun, where was the dinner? It was at one of my favorite restaurants in NoHo because they have a list, it's called a Kahuna Tiki. Oh yeah, I've heard of it, through you. They have a menu full of mocktails that are not cups of lime juice. I did. And bitters. I did see a picture Eva posted or somebody or you did, or somebody posted like,

um, of all the drinks that you were drinking. There was like a dozen in front of you. I was so impressed. There were 16 because- If you were a drinker, 16! If you were a drinker, man, you would have knocked everyone under the table drink them all under the whole reason we went was because I had always told Allison that I was always so jealous of everyone who has like that story from college where they racked up this huge bill and they Had one of everything or something be jealous But but yeah, I understand and I was like I always wanted to do that the only place I could do that as

Kahuna tiki because they actually have a list of mocktails that don't sound miserable. And so Alison created this game, which actually I highly suggest to anybody who has a friend group of separate friends and you don't know how to make them mingle. Tell me, tell me. She got one of every drink and Eva came. Eva sat next to me, so she got to witness it in real time.

I got to witness Eva try all 16 drinks and order other alcoholic ones for herself. So she had a great time. She had like 20 drinks, technically. So Allison got one of each and then we would pass each of the drinks around and everyone would like take their straw and like taste some of it and we did a taste test to see what the best one was.

But so it gave everyone a chance to be like, oh, I don't like this one. Or I don't like this one. And you could do a bracket, which ones are the best. Yeah. What was the best one? The one that is already my favorite. I never had to try any of the others, apparently.

So it's called The Pink Pussycat. I'm obsessed with her. Ooh. And it's some sort of play off of a pina colada. I was gonna say, let me guess, coconutty. Very yummy. It's very coconutty, pineappley, strawberryy. That sounds delightful, very tiki. Anyway, that was my birthday.

And now your mom is in town. My mom, she loves to make an appearance. Right when the dust settles, she says, ha ha ha, I've risen. So here she comes. She is showing up sometime today. And what she doesn't know is that she thinks she's coming to celebrate my birthday. But I didn't get to be with her for her birthday

or Mother's Day. And I'm not going to be with Tom for Father's Day. So we're celebrating them, where each day we're going to celebrate one of those and stuff. Wait, is Tom coming too? He always, wherever my mother follows. Oh, I see. So you're going to do Father's Day too, and Mother's Day, and her birthday.

How fun is that? Yeah, so she's coming to see the house, but we're going to surprise her. And let's make a deal also, another let's make a deal round up. Need me to fly out in my slip? No, I've seen enough of your skin. The world has seen enough you are totally right. Thank you It's about time you say it out loud. Especially almost televised that was crazy. Yeah

Yeah, you made sure we were not on television my friend you sat way in the back in a fully Innocuous t-shirt probably branded so that it would never get on TV on purpose. You know things would be different today but back then I was definitely too scared. So I got you were like I didn't know you were scared you made it seem like you were just like way over this and I was like whoa you're too cool for me this is like early in our friendship I thought you were like too I thought you were like oh I've done been there done that That's what I thought you were kind of the vibe. Oh, well, thank you.

No, I was just, I just didn't have a PEPRANOLAL prescription yet because you hadn't suggested it to me. Well, shit, I probably had some in that big purse they make you dump out and look through all the. Anyway, and then it was topped off with lovely presents, including two dozen chocolate covered strawberries, not even from past Em, but from past Christine. Yeah. It worked out very well.

So that was my birthday. Well, I felt bad because I had big plans to like look. So I'd been researching a bunch of places in Burbank and LA area that do chocolate covered strawberries. And I probably reached out to like 15 to 20 places. Either they like didn't look that good or they were like too fancy for you. Like they had weird shit, like truffle shit all over them.

And I was like, that's not the vibe. And so after all that, I just went to the classic edible arrangements and I was like, I hope that one doesn't think I'm phoning it in. I really did like try to find all. I appreciate, they're already gone, girl. It was two days ago.

I felt that because I was like, this doesn't seem very surprising. But I figured I'd go with a classic. I appreciate it. They were eating for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. And then the only other thing I've eaten since is Allison tried to make me my mom's recipe from my childhood of chicken pot pie.

But I realized as an adult, my stomach does not like it. So the chocolate covered strawberries have been healing me. Let's put it that way. That's what they're there for. How was your birthday? Well, you know, it was pretty depressing because it's so funny. I heard from so many people in my life, but I weirdly didn't hear from you, Em.

Hmm. That can't be right. I literally was counting down the minutes till midnight. I was like, you have no idea how much I'm gonna make a scene on the podcast. Let me see, did I? I could have sworn I texted you. You said bloop. Oh, I texted you just nothing about your birthday?

Oh my God, that's so embarrassing. Ha ha! Oh my God, oh my God. Ha ha, I win! I'm reading through the text right now. I win the friendship! Woo hoo now. I win the friendship. Woohoo. I never win the friendship.

Okay, but here's the thing. You texted me, but got me strawberries. I did not text you, but I sent you like six packages. Did they all get there? I don't know, Eva also, or somebody else. Maggie just asked if I got her package. I'm like, I don't think so. I didn't really get any mail.

I got mail from you and it was like, I thought it was a birthday thing. And then it was like a trophy from the Davey Awards or something. And I was like, oh, that's not it. Hmm. You didn't get any packages from me because some of them were perishable.

Okay, no, but I will have Blaze take a peek. Christine, I sent you a dozen bagels and lox from New York. What? And like many other things, but that one I thought- Are you sure they got delivered? Did it say that delivered? Yes. Oh boy. Oh boy.

I thought you were going to say you had the best birthday because I got you bagels and lox from New York. Motherfucker! I'm gonna cry because that would be the best, obviously. Incidentally, Blaze did get me bagels and lox for breakfast, but that was just one day. See? I knew you'd- I did know. Anyway, that was my only- It says it got there.

Oh boy. Uh oh. Oh boy. Someone's eating good today. A raccoon? I don't know. I'm sorry, Em, I didn't, I did not, I did not, that did not arrive. Oh no. And I know because I got two packages that I had ordered for myself yesterday, so I was like eyeing the porch all day. Your order, it's your address.

It says it got there. Oh, boy. I wonder if they, like, put it behind a bush or something. I don't know. Well, it's all blazes ago, looking around the perimeter of your home. Oh, I'm sure if he finds three dozen cats mewing behind a bush. Well, I think it's... I'm sorry. That sounds expensive.

I'm sorry. I didn't know that that was coming. I was just teasing you No, you're well. Hey now it now let's let's I don't know how to call it even because now apparently I haven't texted you Or sent you presents Jesus Christ. Well you did I believe you I just um They better give you your money back. I'll look around my house, but I I was pretty actively watching the porch yesterday around my house, but I was pretty actively watching the porch yesterday. Oh no, okay, yeah, we'll figure that out later. Okay, anyway, tell me about the rest of your birthday.

Okay, well, so after I didn't hear from my best friend, Em, all day and just waited around by the porch and the phone, nothing happened, then I had a quick doctor's appointment for this weird rash and they had scheduled me the day, I just said, oh, do you have any availability in the next few weeks? And they said, how about June 4th at 3 p.m.

And I went, well, fine. Sure. Yippee. Yippee. So I went in and they were like, oh, you got a rash for your birthday? I was like, ha ha ha, yeah. And then after the appointment, they were like, okay, we'll get you some prescriptions

to like see if this goes away, what have have you and then the nurse comes in and goes okay we're gonna give you a steroid shot so that this like tones down you know the inflammation and hopefully this will like kind of get your body back on a good baseline and I said okay and she goes so we're gonna do it here let me show you I have proof. Is it of, yeah, I wanna see. Yeah, I got a shot right in my ass. Oh, are we, is that, is today the day? Oh, oh my God. I got a shot in my fucking butt

for my birthday. Everyone tune in to YouTube. We're about to have the best views we ever have in our life. Yeah, that was literally your butt. Wow, okay. I got a shot in the butt. Happy birthday to all of us. And she goes, this is not even the worst. I have a needle phobia, okay. Happy birthday to all of us. I got a shot in the butt and she goes, this is not even the worst. I have a needle phobia, we know this.

It's my birthday. Did it hurt as much as you thought it would? Because I've never had a shot in the butt and I feel like I would tense up and thus it would be awful. It fucking hurt. Yeah. So she goes, this is gonna hurt. And I go, you're not supposed to say that, I think.

Oh, that's like the tetanus shot. They don't even try to sugar coat it. They don't even try to hide it. So it didn't actually hurt when she did it. I was afraid it was gonna hurt as she gave the shot, but it's intense. Okay, also fun fact, I thought I would be cute and wear a full romper.

I had to get fucking naked. You're so stupid. I know. I'm trying to figure out a way to access my butthole from, with a romper on. And then she's like, listen, it's fine, just take your clothes off. So I had to like drop my fucking outfit and I'm sitting there. They have to be used to that by now. They have to be used to it. Naked. Yeah, she did not care, but I was like, this is quite a day.

Um, and then she's like, now lean on one leg and then the other one's going to go back. And then I'm going to, she's like, do you want me to say go or do you know it's like can you just do it so she did it and I was like okay that wasn't so bad and then I like step back and I was like my ass anyway is it oh my god I just like really stung it's I think it's just cuz it's a steroid it like I don't know and then she goes oh and it'll make you really hungry but at least that means you can eat more birthday cake. I was like, yeah, I'm really craving a lox bagel, but I guess that's not in the carts for me today.

And then, I'm just teasing you, Em. I'm so sorry. I feel terrible about that. I wish. It's somewhere. You know, Maggie texted me, did you get a package for me? I said, no. So I don't know what is happening.

I think you've got a true thief because I'm not getting a good stuff I mean, I'm like kind of panicking. I sent you a lot of presents. Are you serious? Yeah Yeah I'm texting him because like Maggie I didn't get Maggie's I didn't get Anyone's maybe they're all delayed. No, you said it got delivered. Yeah, it got delivered Oh, no. I'm texting him because like Maggie, I didn't get Maggie's. I didn't get anyone's. Maybe they're all delayed. No, you said it got delivered.

Yeah, it got delivered. I mean, it's gone now. There's no way it's just still sitting. The wildest part is I got my new book about working on your shadow self. That's what arrived for me on my birthday that I ordered for myself, but that's it. Yeah. My biggest present, I bought myself. Isn't that the way to be?

I mean, then you don't just get disappointed. You know, you're like, well, I made me happy. I will say, I don't even wanna know how much Alison spent to get us into Clip 33 or to Disney at all, but. I do, text me now. I'm so curious. I wanna know all about the Secret Society. I mean, I will tell you, and for anyone who is a Disney person who, you know, doesn't

won't get the chance and wants to know what it's like, I will tell you it's a four course meal. But I guess the menu switches out a lot. So, you know, take this for what it is. It might, if you ever got in, the menu might be different. The first two courses, not worth it at all. Really? But the last two courses, worth it for sure. Intriguing. What were the first two?

The menu was too fancy. So maybe if you've got a different palette than me, if you're looking either pristine, it might be great. Yeah, I was going to say, I probably would've just eaten all yours. It was like things I've never had before. It was like caviar and like things that I don't even know if I'd like, so it was very intimidating. Really, it was?

Well, okay, so then they had, it was like, there was a beef tartare option, there was a... So they're really like leaning into the fancy. Like they're like, what you think is fancy, that's what we've got. Yeah, and it wasn't even, I, in my mind, if you have a secret private lounge in the middle of Disneyland,

like on one of the main streets, overlooking all of Disney, I would think this restaurant was gonna be out the wazoo Disney themed. Like they were at least gonna name the dishes after Disney things, or you look around and it's gonna be Disney. They probably already do that enough.

So this is like, oh, this is. A getaway. The pocket, yeah, the out, right, the getaway from all the Disney names and tchotchkes. And they're probably like, oh, we're not quirky here. We're very fancy. Yeah, but that was kind of, I wanted, I feel like if you're in Disney

and you finally get access to this main club, you want the whimsy. And you want the winzy somewhere. Well at the very least, you know what you want that Disney always promises you is fucking magic You know, so like I have you are I would have been like, oh Magic bring it on the food was great. But I will say the decor You if you didn't know you were in Disney you It looks nothing like Disney. Really, so they know how to make it. It looked just like a fancy restaurant, which I guess is, I don't know what I was expecting

because I never prepared for this day, but I thought there'd at least be like, even like those hidden Mickey's, like the Mickey Mouse symbol everywhere, nothing. It just looks like a restaurant. And I was like, huh, I feel like we Mickey Mouse symbol everywhere. Nothing, it just looks like a restaurant. And I was like, huh, I feel like we could have zhuzh'd this up.

I think I need to come in and help you decor wise. But I will say, they had some of the furniture, they had like stories to each of the items. So it looks like a fancy restaurant, but apparently if you talk to a person, they can tell you this painting was made by someone, someone, someone. This table was in this movie, which is like, that's pretty cool.

That's kind of cool. But you wouldn't know if you didn't ask. So I see. But they do have a signature drink where you get to take home the cup. That's what we did. That was very nice. Oh, that sounds nice. And I got a pin like, because Disney is all about their pins.

They are. They have like an exclusive Club 33 pin. Wow. OK, that's pretty cool. Now you can just brag about that. Yeah, I've got the pin, which by the way, it was $33. I did tell Alison. $33?

Well, for Club 33. But I will say the only, and by the way, that was beyond the cheapest thing. There was things in there for like, there were things in their merch cabinet for like 500 bucks, it was crazy. It was, it's, yeah, eat the rich. But what was I gonna say? What was I gonna say?

Oh, the only disappointing thing, which I have told Allison, the only way she failed is that she should have waited till next year when I was turning 33. Yeah, I was actually wondering that. Yeah. But that's funny. If you are entering your 33rd year.

That is how she pitched it to me as well. Oh, that's actually, I'm kind of with her because I feel like it's kind of cool that you finished 32. It just means you've already accomplished 32. This is the kickoff to 33. So you're like starting off hot at the coolest place in Anaheim. And then 24 hours later, we were in medieval time until the floor was dirt. Yeah, I mean, come on, you're just going up

and up and up in the world. I will tell you, the medieval times was crazy. I was, we were, there were a few times we both looked at each other like, oh, maybe this place isn't for us because like I just, I question the ethics of the horse training. Oh, it's, yeah, it's definitely a 90s thing.

I'm always surprised that it still exists. I mean, it was big in the 90s Uh trying to skew and block that from my vision the rest of medieval times was great I got to eat with my hands like a real knight like I was saying like a real human. Yeah, like I wore A jedi robe which looked kind of friar-ish Um, I was team yellow. Cool, that's Leon's favorite color. Great.

I, Alexander went to Medieval Times with his two friends in Las Vegas. They got really high and went to Medieval Times and hearing them tell that story. That sounds great. Oh, they had a great time. Yes, they had a very good time. Our night threw a rose to Allison.

Ooh la la. Were you jealous? I went, you go girl. That's right. And then I looked at the- You have like a beef roast in your hands. Like, yeah, get it girl. She wanted nothing to do with me.

Literally, this is how disgusting I was at Medieval times because I didn't have napkins or like silverware to use. Is that at one time, Allison just reached over and put a napkin to my face and just wiped my face for me. Like a toddler. I was like how bad does it look for you to have done that? Did you like spit on her napkin and rub your face? Well, they had corn on the cob so I was just like my face was getting shoved in the food. Oh yeah. It's hard to eat dangerously

in that scenario. How long did it take for the shot to heal for you? I mean it was fine right away. It like was sore, but I was like, it's, you know, get over it. It's fine, Christine. So I got over it. But, um, Oh, blaze just went around the entire perimeter of the house says there are no packages here. Um, nothing has arrived. Uh, and nothing was stolen cause I watched the doorbell camera. So I don't know where it went. I know your address. I didn't. I know. Yeah, I don't know.

I mean, maybe I need to ask my neighbors if it got dropped off at the wrong spot. They're not gonna tell you, this is like that friends episode with the cheesecake. Like they're just gonna see. Fuck, they're gonna have like, like scallion, like cream cheese on their face. I literally got you extra walks.

I'm sorry, Em. That sounds so expensive. Okay, I will. It was not as wild as you thought, but I thought, I looked at the best place. You are so sweet. I was not it was not as well as you thought, but I thought I looked at the best place. You are so sweet. I was like, where in New York is best known for like bagels and lox? And then they happen to be on Goldbelly.

Shout out Goldbelly. Yeah. And it was supposed to get there exactly. It said it will get here June 4th. And I went, sorry, here's Blaise walking around like with no shirt on, looking for in the bushes for a packet of bagels. And I also wanna add real quick that I had a really wonderful birthday. I just wanted to tell you about my shot in the butt,

cause that was the funniest part. I appreciate it. That was the funniest part. But Blaise was sick, but he did wake up with Leona and took her the entire day, did everything, which he usually does anyway. But just kinda was like, you just chill. You're not allowed to do anything. You're not allowed to do anything.

You're not allowed to go outside or, I mean, I was like- You just vibed? Go outside, but you know, I just vibed. And it was really fun. And then Leona came home and they went to get cupcakes and she picked the cupcakes for me. I'll show you them. I wonder if you can see what they are.

Blaze was like, she had to be sure to tell me that she picked them. Oh, they graduation cupcakes? They are graduation cupcakes because she liked the little hats. So we got some- You graduated from 32? That's right, 33.

And then just like she did for you, she sang me happy birthday on her new microphone, which was very exciting. And then they ordered sushi, a bunch of sushi for me, which is my favorite food, and then watched The Emperor's New Groove, which is my favorite movie. And it's been a double present

because Leona woke up this morning and said, can we watch that movie again? It's my favorite. And I went, yes! Welcome to the dark side, Leona. I know, and they got me a stuffed crocodile from the Newport Aquarium, and they got me a stuffed crocodile from the Newport Aquarium, and they got me a book I wanted and some kitchen stuff.

Yeah, it was really cute. It was like very low key, but again, Blaze was sick, and I also very adamantly said, I don't wanna do anything this year, like big. Like last year I did like a party at a bowling alley, and I was like, I don't wanna, I'm just tired. Like, I don't wanna do that. And my mom was trapped in Europe because her passport got stolen. She was supposed to watch Leona so that he and I could like, I don't want to, I'm just tired. Like I don't want to do that. And my mom was trapped in Europe

because her passport got stolen. She was supposed to watch Leona so that he and I could go get sushi and have like a dinner out. But you know, whoops, she was not here. So we just had sushi and watched the Emperor's New Groove. So it was very perfect, very chill, very low key. And then I got a shot in my butt and I thought,

wow, this is 33. Four? 33 is 33. 34? 33. I'm 32 now, so please don't be 34. I don't know. I'll stick with 33. It's a nice little like double number. Okay.

Fun fact. Now I can say it. We have, I guess, maybe add a couple months to this, but I met you when I was 22. And you were 23. And now we're 32 and 30. Oh my god, a decade? Remember how I'm always like, I've known Allison for 10 years. That means I've probably known her for fucking 20.

Yeah. Holy shit. I'm slowly creeping into the majority of your life. Yeah. Ditto. Likewise. It'll hurt most when I turn 34 and you turn 35, and then the podcast is 10 years old. That'll really rattle me.

That'll be tough. We're going to need to go into another exclusive club for that day, just to try and hide. OK, I'll send you two years. Allison, find another cool connection somewhere exclusive. Well, did everyone like our... I feel like I talked for most of that. Oh, and I didn't ask you, what was your favorite gift that you got?

What did you get yourself? What did you... Oh, I got myself a shadow work journal. Oh, the shadow work journal. No, I got a bunch of like fun little tarot stuff and I don't really, there was, Leona made me a lot of artwork and a nice card and then Blaze said, what do you want to write in the card? And the card said, I love her, she's my mommy and I love her because I love her. Happy birthday because I love her. And so that was in the cards. That was nice. That's so sweet. Yeah, it was just really like chill. I'm trying to think, oh, my mom got me this huge tomato plant.

I don't know, I'm old now. Like I get plants. My sister brought me this big gift basket that she surprised me with, with like coffees and candy and German candy, cause she went to Germany and my own little, my new little red plant that I'm going to take special care of, even though Juniper already bit it six times.

But yeah, it was really like, chill. I will say, Eva got me and Allison a house blessing from a witch. Oh my God, I was gonna look into that. I'm so glad Eva did it because I was like, I don't know enough about the air. Like, I don't know, I'm glad Eva did it because I was like, she would know better than I do

who to reach out to, but. Eva, can I tell Christine what you got me on air? Oh yeah, listen. I'm really contemplating if I should do it or not. I'd rather never hear about it again. I'm gonna mute you while you do that. I'm actually gonna get tissues. Okay, Eva says yes.

So, I don't know how this came to be, but in my personality, it's become this running. It came to be, but in my, in my personality, we, it's become this running. It's my fault. It's, it's become this running jokes. How it's came to be. You've just traumatized us all. Well, I don't know how it came to be though.

I know that I'm responsible, but I don't know the origin to it. As long as you know it was your doing. Um, but there's a running joke about the, like that meme with like the toes holding toes when then it got to a point where Intertwined. Yeah, and then I constantly say like Christine when are we going to be close enough? When are you gonna love me enough that we do that because other people are reaching a level of intimacy We've we've never seen between the two of us. We need to hold toes. I've been holding out It became this running joke. Blah blah blah

She still won't do it. That's crazy with me. But so Eva comes to my birthday party, comes to my birthday dinner, and she goes, I have a gift for you. And then I reach my hand to this bag. There are multiple Polaroids of her and her partner's toes interlaced. Sick. And I was like, Polaroids really makes them like that much more sinister and underground and they should go to jail.

By the way, like sounds like a like intense HR violation of a picture of toes for people. Oh by the way, that's the other text I got from Em on my birthday. It was actually the first text I woke up and I saw Em sent me a bunch of texts and I thought, oh Em wrote me my first birthday greeting and I opened it and it was a bunch of pictures. It was the pictures of Eva's toes. Of Eva's and Rachel's toes and I was like I think this is illegal. First of all, happy birthday to me. Thank you for sending that at three in the morning. I thought oh yay my first birthday wish and it's from my special friend Em. Nope, and then Eva says to make sure to say

it was Ray's idea, but I feel like that doesn't matter because you still, like it was also Em's idea. You are complicit, you are complicit. But if I did it with Em, I would still be fully responsible and should be in prison, so hence why I don't do it. And now Eva's like, oh, I didn't do it. Yeah, you literally are the only reason it happened because somebody else had to do it.

It was, I mean, it was, you know, I gotta say for commitment, no one committed to the bit for my birthday quite like Eva did. No, no, no. I mean, those pictures, but I sent them to Christine and Amelia. I was like, look what happened. And then I think-

Look what happened. It took me so long to figure it out because again, it was the first thing, 7.30 in the morning. I'm like, look what happened. And then I think- Look what happened. It took me so long to figure it out. Cause again, it was the first thing, 7.30 in the morning. I'm like, oh, my first birthday message. I'm like zooming in, like, what am I looking at? God damn it. And I did say if we had an HR department,

it would be in shambles because that is- On fire. That was crazy. That was crazy. It was, but it was easily the funniest thing. Cause that has been like this stupid point of conversation that I insert everywhere It was I mean well done. Is it like over now though?

You know, I don't want to find out what else can happen. So yeah, I think it's over so I don't know Let's just feels like it just kind of went out like fizzled out like It's I you know, is the magic still there is a magic gone now and no the magic's there I I just want this with you. I don't know why you want me no I Only because you hate it so much if you fought it We know I don't know how I'd feel I would be like ah you took the sail the wind out of my sail If I fought it or if I didn't fight it you mean Hmm. Oh, right. I don't if you didn't fight it if I didn't well too bad

It's never gonna happen so but I think it works out for you because Eva Cuz I wasn't there it's happened already. So like I don't know is it over like I'm going for the team I feel like now it's over Wow. I feel like you're trying to push a narrative. We'll see I was waking up on my birthday to these photos. I did nothing Don't act like I had anything to do with this Push the narrative. I was waking up on my birthday to these photos. I did nothing. Don't act like I had anything to do with this. All I have to say is even no one.

And you know what I'm gonna say? Every time you're like, Christine, why won't you do with me? I'm like, well, it sounds like you have a perfectly willing participant in Eva. So why don't you two go do it? Since you like her so much. The pictures are already a fine line.

For HR reasons? Yeah, agreed. Yeah, and then after that, I was like, now where do I put these? Do I put them on my fridge? Do I hide them? Hiding them feels even worse. Hiding them feels worse.

Cause if somebody like goes to your house and they're under your mattress, it's nothing. Like there's no good way of explaining yourself out of that one. I feel like I'm supposed to throw them in the trash, but then I also don't want Eva to feel like I don't appreciate the effort. I don't know where to stand anymore.

I do, please put them in the trash. Eva said they're a curse all around. That's an excellent point. Please trash them. Well, Eva seems like she's regretting this, which is hilarious. Oh, Eva says please trash them. Thank God.

I know, I'm saying I think, I feel a little bit like Eva is acting like she regrets this majorly. And that really is the only, in my mind, the only acceptable way to feel after doing this. So, and if you guys don't know what we're talking about and you're like, what's the big deal, just try to Google like toes intertwined,

toes holding hands. I don't know, it's- Toes holding toes? There's something like so sinister about it in a way that I can't quite put my finger on it or my toe on it. It's very upsetting. And that's why I just keep mentioning it

cause I'm like, there's a thing that will never happen. So let's just keep like, let's just keep bringing it up. And I, yeah. And I just- And then Eva said, I'll call that. I'll take that bet. Like, oh, it's never gonna happen.

Boom, here are pictures. And then she says, why did I do that? I said, girl, that one's on you. You only, you and your God know why you did that. Also she said, I still remember how it feels. It felt so gross. Eva seems more troubled by this than even I am, I have no why you did that. Also she said, I still remember how it feels. It felt so gross. Eva seems more troubled by this than even I am, which I never thought was possible to be honest.

Well, she's the one who had to endure, you know? Had to do nothing. Again, let me just clarify one more time, had to is not the proper verb. She's the one who endured. Yeah, she did. And therefore is the most traumatized. And I understand.

I also, I had to hold pictures of it and with and look At it with my eyes. That was what I endured use of the dirt you Explicitly many times I asked for you to do it with me not for my Employee to send me pictures Maybe that's what you maybe you should watch out what you say now because Eva's gonna feel like you're asking things of her that are not even She's gonna be like, Em really wanted this. And then we're gonna lose everything. Our careers, yeah.

Cancelled. I think Eva took one for the team for you, so I really think you should be saying thank you. That's what I think should be happening here. I'm not gonna say thank you for waking up at 7.30 in the morning to two pictures of Eva's toes intertwined with her partners. I'm not.

Well, I'm gonna say I respect you a lot more than I ever did, Eva. I didn't even bring it up. You had to be involved. That's how this works. So anyway, that was easily, easily the wildest, most unexpected gift. That was plot twist.

Yeah, that was a big plot twist, indeed. And you got graduation cupcakes. You probably are less- Did I actually win? I'm just kidding. I also got a needle in my butt and a raccoon infestation in my yard, because of the bagels.

Anyway, the other more important thing is that Eva and her partner Ray got us a witchy blessing for our house, which I'm very excited about. That actually doesn't feel anymore like it's the most important, but I guess that's fine. It's certainly spiritually the most important. It is. So anyway, that was our birthday.

Wow, hey, 35 minutes later, great. Who knew? And I did most of the talking. And I'm going to keep that energy and go into a story. Sorry I talk so much. I'm going to keep doing it. I do feel bad. I really thought we were going to go like a back and forth there. But whoops. Okay. Well, I'm not going to talk for too long. This is a short story. Whatever that means. Your employee gave you foot pics on Polaroids for your birthday, sorry. It's just kind of like still ruminating.

You got bare feet pictures on Polaroids, which is so intimate, from your employee on your birthday. As long as everybody knows, like, one, I did not ask for this. No. Two, I did not expect that. This was fully of Eva's free will. Okay, okay.

I bet, yeah, okay, fair, all right. Please don't make it look like I'm like some sort of creepazoid. I'm not. I'm bet, yeah, okay, fair, all right. Please don't make it look like I'm like some sort of creepazoid. I'm not. I'm just, listen, I didn't even bring it up. I was like, this is not my rodeo. It's one of those stories where, in a game of two truths and a lie,

based on how it's phrased, I definitely take the cake. It's one of those things where based on how it's phrased. You can be like, I went to club 33 for dinner one time. I got all these flip books, picks, and this all happened in the same weekend. Just kidding, those are all true. Anyway. Trust me, hey, I'm mortified, but Eva, you know,

I also, I feel for you girl, cause I don't know the experience of toes interleasing. Yeah, but you want to, don't you? So only with you and you just won't let it happen. So it's just never gonna happen. One day I'm gonna call your bluff and we'll see. I will run away, I promise. The second I know that it's possible,

I'll go, wait a minute, wait a minute, wait, wait, wait. Wow, so Eva took it farther than even you would? Now that's something. Dedication, I'm telling you. Okay, here is a story which sounds like it's meant for you to cover, but I promise it is for me to cover and you'll see why. This is the story of the prison escape

of Elias Henry Jones in Cedric Waters Hill. Ooh, okay. And everyone's gonna go, what, where's the ghosts? You'll see. Okay, so most information I just wanna give a shout out now is that most information I got for this was from Elias Henry Jones' own personal accounts. He wrote a book right after this happened

called The Road to Endor. So if you want to read that, go for it. I will say, yikes, it was from a quote, different time. And the way he talks about people that are not like him was crazy. So heads up. Does everyone read in the room? Okay, good.

So this is in 1917. This is World War I. Elias Henry Jones is a prisoner of war at a prison camp in the mountains of Turkey and like the remote mountains. He, this jail that he got sent to was for like high risk escape artists that like they knew would be able to flee

other prison camps. Like Houdini their way out? Yes, exactly. What an interesting like list to be on. I'd be so proud of myself. I'd be like, flee other prison camps. Houdini their way out? Yes, exactly. What an interesting list to be on. I'd be so proud of myself. I'd be like, yeah. Me too. I am pretty sneaky. I feel like, oh my God,

I made the Shawshank Redemption tier. Right? Ooh. So this camp is intentionally out in the middle of fucking Nobar. The prisoners of war had to yuck, and yikes, had to yuck and yikes, had to march 2000 miles, it seems,

to get to this location. I saw on one source hundreds and hundreds of miles, which is still bad. Someone else wrote 2000 and either way. I mean, a lot of people- 2000 was our version of events. We're like, yeah, it was like 3000, three, it was like a million or 3000.

Yeah. And so anyway, they ended up having to walk and they had to march all these miles. A lot of people didn't make it along the way. And it was in these high up mountains away from everything. And even if you did escape, you had to escape prison and the mountains. And then you got to locals who had a language barrier.

It was very impossible for people to get out of. On top of that, the prisoners were warned that if anyone tried to escape, other men would, other prisoners of war would be beaten, starved, and or killed because of what you did. Oh, shit, so it's like that guilt thing. It kept a lot of prisoners accountable. Oh, that's fucked up.

Kept them from encouraging a mutiny or other people leaving because they didn't want to be hurt then. Ironically, because this prison camp was so, everyone there was so scared to leave or they knew how trapped they were, there were very few escape attempts and security was actually kind of lax, ironically. So, OK, because they felt like they were like a little jaded by it.

They're like, oh, yeah, we're fine. Yeah. Yeah. It was it was shocking that they actually had some freedoms as prisoners of war because it had been so instilled in them to not leave. Oh, that's creepy. Yeah. It was like a real mindfuck. So over time, these prisoners of war earned quite a lot of trust from the guards compared to other prisoners of war at different camps.

They were allowed to go on walks. They were allowed to visit each other and like hang out with each other. They were allowed to send letters to and from their family. And that being said, even though they were allowed to send letters to and from their family. And that being said, even though they were allowed to send letters and get letters, any correspondence was read through first to make sure that it was A-okay.

And one day Elias gets a postcard from his aunt. And in the message from his aunt- She's like, wish you were here on the beach. What a dick. Thinking of you and it's a picture of like her with Santa or something. Yeah, I wish you were here. We're having the best time. So he gets a message from his aunt and she says, hey, I know that like you just got to, you know, find ways to kill time while you're there.

I can't imagine how bored you must be. Have you ever thought about just like using a Ouija board? This answers you. Yeah, I'm like, cause I know exactly where to get one. Well, so she called it spooking, which I guess meant like interacting with the spirits at all. Okay.

But so she said, oh yeah, there's, you know, I know you've heard about these Ouija boards and maybe you try to do one of those. And this is where I remind everyone World War One was like right around the beginning of the second wave of spiritualism because everyone had people dying either in the war. I think it was I mean, millions of people died in the war. And only a year after the war, the big influenza outbreak happened, so it killed even more millions of people. So this was a heightened time for everyone who was desperate to just make contact with somebody

for one last time, so spiritualism goes nuts. And this is where I remind you that Ouija boards have been around since 1890 something, so 1918. So not even that long, but like probably still in vogue. Yeah, they've been around for like almost 30 years now. Spiritualism sitting its big second wind. So I'm sure the Ouija board sales are going up. And I'm sure his aunt was like, I saw this nutty thing at the store that's going off the shelves. The New York coast did a whole piece. that's going off the shelves. The New York coast did a whole piece.

So she said, give it a whirl. And he and his cellmates, inmates, fellow inmates, they all decided, yeah, we got nothing else going on. Let's do that. And they made the most Christine Ouija board. There's a photo or video of me somewhere after you took way too long to come over. And I was like bored and I made a Ouija board. There's a photo or video of me somewhere after you took way too long to come over. And I was like bored and I made a Ouija board

on the back of one of our posters. And it just got so out of hand and you walked in and I had like an upside down wine glass that was still like dripping wine out of it. And I was like trying to summon the dead. And so I get it. So what they did was they took a piece of paper and wrote down all the letters and use a glass

as the plan check. It works, it actually works. I'm not kidding, that's what they did. Yeah, I know, it works. They knew. You made a jailhouse Ouija board. I sure did, Em, that's right. I think I even called it that, to be honest.

Well, so that's exactly what happened. Who needs toilet wine when you've got... When you can drink the toilet wine and then use that glass as a plan chart. Exactly. Both. There are spirits at the bottom of this glass. I'll talk to them very soon. So as Christine did, I did walk in on her writing down an alphabet and just dragging a wine glass all over a piece of paper hoping to catch something. There was like a crumpled one on the floor and you were like, what's that?

And I was like, I think I did the alphabet wrong on that one. So I threw it away. It was just such a mess. It was bananas. Yeah. So and Christine really actually, maybe it was working. I don't know. We talked to something that night and it was very mind blowing. So what these guys did is they wrote down the alphabet they did something different where they cut out the letters and put them in A circle so that way cool. I guess the wine glass had a drag for that's kind of smart

You'll do that on your third So they use a drinking glass and alias and this guy, Doc, that that he was with, they tried it first and nothing happened for a while. Someone suggested that they even like warm the glass over a candle for like the energy, maybe. And after that, it actually worked for a second, but it barely even spelled out one word. It only got to B and R. that one word, it only got to B and R. And one of the inmates said, maybe it's gonna spell brown. And I guess because that guy spoke for them or,

I don't know, the ghosts did not like that and immediately stopped using the planchette and then literally stopped doing it for weeks. Like stop moving. Nothing happened for weeks. These sounds like a pain in the ass ghost. So sensitive. It also sounds like, I mean,

this is like a skeptic's dream of like, yeah, oh, it didn't ever work ever for weeks and weeks and weeks. Interesting that it didn't work at all. So- And I'm like, what a bad attitude this ghost has. That's how far I've come from being a skeptic at all. Well, so then the inmates kind of just gave up. They were like, this thing does not work.

Maybe we just have to buy a real Ouija board and make it out of here. I don't know. But Elias said, this was actually a statement from him in his own account. He said, it grew monotonous even for prisoners of war. And I was like, I love that. So everyone gave up, but he knew this other inmate named

The Gatherer, which is amazing. Hello, okay, I don't like that. I know in prison that people get nicknames, but apparently a lot of times it's for some sort of street cred of something you've done. What the hell does gatherer mean? Well, that to me sounds more menacing than anything. I know, what are you gathering souls?

lives body count like very very yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, you know, I'm actually reading a book about I think they're well there is the book of the gatherer, but I'm reading a book that has the same concept and they're called gathers and they like Take they like take people's souls Well, maybe this guy knows something about that. I think I'm primed to be scared of that name, yeah. It's a very vague, creepy name. Yeah. So one of the prisoners, Gatherer,

What if he just gathered lavender and that's it? He's like, I'm just like trying to make a tea. He just gathered trinkets, he just likes his trinkets. Yeah, he, aw. He just gathered trinkets. He just likes his trinkets. Aww. Well, he went to Elias and he said he had actually made his own Ouija board after he saw everybody else make their Ouija board. And he wanted to try for himself when he was paper mache or something. Yeah. I'm wondering like what they would have.

Well, so he says, oh, I made a Ouija board too. Actually, don't tell anyone, but I made it in secret with one of the CEOs here, with one of the like officers. He wanted to craft with you? That's cute. Apparently, and they made it from a sheet of iron that I guess they got from the kitchen maybe, like a baking sheet or something.

And they glued the letters down so that way the letters wouldn't get pushed around when the glass moved. So that was his version of the Ouija board. And he said it actually worked. And maybe Elias should try that one with his friends. He did say though, he was like, I'm done with it. I don't want it. You take it.

I don't want this one. The gatherer said that? Yeah, so something must have happened with that Ouija board. Or maybe he had a breakup with his CEO. I don't know. They had a big fight. Yeah, that happens. He's like, I don't even want to think about him anymore.

Take this from me. It just reminds me of him and all the special memories we made. So he says, take this board. I want nothing to do with it. So Elias tries it, him and his friend Doc again. Elias and Doc use this new Ouija board. And when Doc says, who are you? Despite their eyes being closed, Elias had already memorized

the letters spots at this point, and he spells out the name Sally. And he does it intentionally. He later says that, uh... Oh, he was just fucking around. I see. Okay. He was just fucking around, and he said that he was trying to do it for morale, because everyone was so fucking miserable in jail that he just wanted to give them something to, like, look forward to.

So sad. Um, he also said everyone was desperate for it to work, because at a time when they were, you know, in prison and everyone around them is dying, they didn't know who was alive or not. They just wanted to be able to talk to someone outside of their walls. Oh yeah, to have like conversation, yeah. And so he really did think of it as,

I'm just trying to help just give you something interesting or make you have some sort of hope that there's more out there or. So here's Sally. So here's Sally. And the prisoners were actually stoked. It really did boost like lift spirits. And they spent the whole night talking to Sally.

At some point, Sally would tell them jokes. She would make fun of them a little bit. She even flirted with some of them. Oh, so this is all this guy, right? Yeah, this is all Elias just pretending to be Sam. He's flirting with all his friends to make them feel better. That's a homie.

He's like... That's like no homo, but you have beautiful eyes. I've just noticed, man. You're so muscular. That's crazy. So many muscles. You're so good at crafting. It's like, just adorable.

I saw you glue these letters down all for me So anyway, everyone's eaten up Sally Elias the eventually she leaves and Elias goes to bed she leaves he leaves And Elias plans the next day to like reveal that he did this. He was not trying to like, you know, pull the wool over or anything. Yeah. But so many people came to him the next day before he could admit it. And they said, like, we know that you were Sally, but like, man, you gave us a good time. Oh, they knew. OK, OK. And so even though he felt super guilty because he got so much praise from his friends that it like it really actually helped them.

He was like, okay, great. Well, I'm just gonna keep this joke running with whoever wants to pay attention to it and we'll do it that way. We'll just like challenge accepted, how long can we go? And either you can watch me prank other people or I can do it for you as like a gag, like whatever you want.

And it became this thing where some people still really believe that Sally was real and that he actually was talking to a spirit. And so for those people, he was like, OK, I'm just going to keep doing this just to keep you entertained. And although he was joking, other prisoners did fall for it, and they started even creating tests to see if Elias was fucking with them. Oh no, it's gone too far.

It went too far, but he had already committed to the bit. Yeah, I feel like this is a classic like sitcom, some sort of that's so Raven hijinks. Yes, definitely of like, oh no. I was just trying to make everybody have fun. So they would blindfold him. They would even move the board around on the table in different directions so he wouldn't know the layout. But here's the thing, Elias had already made indents

in certain areas of the board so he knew the layout. He took this bit really far, okay, okay. I think he was like this, I imagine this was, I didn't see this, but he said this, but I imagine he was also entertained by this in prison. Literally about to say the same thing. I think we're all realizing this was for him and his morale more than anyone else's.

I think he just wanted to stay stimulated in some way. It sounds like he's loving it. He was trying to beat them, trying to beat him. Beat Sally. But so he was beating them on all of their tests. One time the prisoners even inverted the board. So all the letters were on the opposite side, like they, and he basically had to imagine the board upside

down and he ended up like fooling them again. Wow. He almost got caught one time because they replaced the letters on the board with secret code. But then like, like out of a movie, one of the guys accidentally let it slip how the code worked. And so, Elias was able to figure it out.

Also like how smart is Sally, the ghost, that she knows this fucking code? It seems like really intense, okay. So he was able to fool them all every time, all of the prisoners were convinced, and Elias was now able to keep up his shtick without question. And he made up a regular characters

who told them of the outside world. One rule that he stood by, though, was that he would never pretend to be someone's dead loved one. Well, that's a good rule, I guess. He only made up fake people. The only exception was apparently he pretended to be this woman named Louise, who one of the soldiers like one time had like a random hookup with.

And I think it was just like poke fun at him of like, oh, I'm Louise and here, let me rag on you for a little bit. I don't know. I think it was like a bit that everyone was in on. I'm not too sure. And then there was like another, one of the sources I saw was that Louise was actually alive and a psychic.

And so maybe the bit was that he was pretending to actually communicate with her psychically through the board. That's kind of funny. So it'd be like, oh, I'm talking to her and she says that you were terrible. I really actually liked that. I imagine it's something like that.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. So while all this is happening, Elias is like known as like Mr. Ouija Board. There's another guy in prison named Cedric Waters Hill and he's hosting his own seance. This is like, just to let you know that like, for us, this sounds so silly of like, why are there so many like acts here spiritually?

But this was during the height of spiritualism, everyone was doing it. It didn't matter who you were. I bet the guards too were like so into watching it. Like, I'm gonna stay late on my lunch break and just like see what happens. Yeah, yeah. So yeah, this was like, I think just stay late on my lunch break and just, like, see what happens. Yeah, yeah. So, um, yeah, this was, like, I think just very common at the time.

Everyone was a spiritualist, or at least everyone knew someone who was. It was, like, normal. It wasn't as, like... Bananas, as we might think of it. So this guy was hosting his own seance, and apparently he also has some traction with the prisoners because people were saying, man, Cedric Waters Hill, his seance is items are flying around the room

and windows are shattering and he's able to like manifest shit like things like his is weird and creepy. He's like found his shtick, his deal. Totally. Yeah. And Elias even jokingly called Cedric his competitor in prison. It's like, of like, oh, I've got the Ouija board thing. He's got the seance thing.

They're like competing psychics across the street. And then they form an alliance, and the two of them meet up to talk about spirits, and it turns out that they just openly confess to each other that they're both frauds. Shut the fuck up. These two are entrepreneurs. Cedric had, I guess, like an inside man

who was moving all the stuff around when he was doing his thing. He had an accomplice. This is amazing. So the two of them now know each other's tricks, and they're like, you and I could build an empire. And eventually, this one guy that works at the prison, he's an interpreter or a translator. His name, I don't know why, but the inmates called him the pimple.

Okay. Maybe they told him it meant something else. Yeah, I don't know. I know that while he was the interpreter, he should know what the pimple means, right? I guess so. Yeah, true. I do know he was short. So I'm like, maybe because he was tiny. You're just a little pimple. Or like stout. Maybe it was like a inside joke,

like a translation didn't translate right and then it's caught on and stuff, I don't know. However it went, I saw that he was known as the pimple and I'm like, wow, even he couldn't escape it. Maybe everyone else thought they were saying something else and he was like, I have to just let them say it. I don't want to cause anymore. I don't want to ruffle feathers.

I just have to let it go. Anyway, so the pimple, he goes to Elias and he asks about these seances. He asks about Cedric Waters Hill. He asks about the Ouija board. And he, who's also a spiritualist, he says, Elias, I have some questions for you to ask the spirits for me,

which I love that like your captors are now coming to you for favors. They're like relying on you now. Yeah, this feels very Orange is the New Black. I'm loving it. Yeah, obviously. So Elias decides, this might actually benefit me if I get these guards to trust me.

Hell yes. So absolutely, Mr. Pimple, I will guards to trust me. Hell, yes. So absolutely, Mr. Pimple, I will help you. Mr. Pimple. And... So Elias holds a seance, he asks the pimples questions and gets answers and sends them back to him. The pimple asks more questions to the spirits and then even demands for something to move in the room

because he wants to know that these spirits are real some proof When he did this when he said like you need to move something right now Elias then goes oh you've angered the spirits by demanding something of them They're gonna you know, they don't like to be told what to do You're gonna regret that you're gonna regret that and apparently as he's that. And apparently, as he's saying this, Elias slipped something into the pimple's drink. So that way later he would get sick, which confirmed that the ghosts were mad at him. So that way it would-

So all this time he's had like roofies on him and he's like, man, I need this Ouija board to like trick the guards. And it's like, not really, you're literally roofing them, but okay. It was called, I think I'm saying it right, Calomel, Calomel, Calomel? But it was, it induces vomiting and some tummy problems

and apparently in high doses, it can cause mercury poisoning. Oh yeah, oh, despite frequently causing mercury poisoning in patients, yeah, Calomel, yeah. It just makes you super sick for the day, like food poisoning stuff. Gotcha. Frequently causing mercury poisoning in patients. Yeah, Calamel, yeah. It just makes you super sick for the day, like food poisoning stuff. Gotcha. And so I guess it was a way to really convince

even his captors, they're like, oh, not only are the ghosts my friends, not only do I understand them in a way you don't, but they will hurt you if you don't act right around them. You've got that pimple right under your thumb. Yeah. So the pimple gets sick and becomes extremely invested in these hands as being like, oh my God,

I was told that this ghost would hate me, and he's hooked. On top of this, one of the higher-ups above even the pimple, he's the commander. He's the, I don't know, above even the pimple, he's the commander. He's the I don't know what the scab. Let's call him that. The scab. Oh, it took me a second. I was like, scab. The zit. The zit, the big zit.

He even goes he's known, by the way, to like to be a spiritualist outside of work. And he believes that the prisoners ongoing He's known, by the way, to be a spiritualist outside of work. And he believes that the prisoners' ongoing Ouija communication is very dangerous, purely because since he's a believer in spirits communicating with you, he thinks that these spirits are either going to give them news about the war, or they're going

to be able to pass news on to other people from prison. He was worried that the prisoners were going to tell the ghosts and the ghosts would tell like other people on in the outside world. Or he was worried that the ghosts would be able to inform them on things they shouldn't know. So he comes up with this rule where he's like, prisoners are not allowed to include in any of their letters home things they learn in a sands because they didn't want civilians to learn, like, war strategy, I guess. Okay. That's... Wow, they're really, uh... They're really all in it, huh? They're really in it. Yeah, it's like, oh, I'm not allowed to tell people

what the ghosts said. Can you imagine, though, if, like... It's just, like, wild. But the aunt of all people wants to know what the ghosts said, because she's the one who suggested this to begin with. Yes, she's just curious. You gotta let her get an update at least. This gets Elias super jazzed because now he knows that the captors are taking this very seriously. He knows that they're nervous about what the prisoners are learning or able to pass along

to others. And one day one of the prisoners, this is just a totally random thing. One of the prisoners finds this like leather strap in the ground and he's like, what is this? And so he pulls on it and attached to it, it's like a whole holster of a gun in here. What? And this, which shockingly, nobody uses in the prison escape. This is not even like part of the...

So they've got roofies, or not roofies, but they've got fucking poison and they've got... I mean, and they've got them all. And they're not using any of it. And they're just like, anyway, we better find ghosts to help us out. Yeah. And so they find this gun

and there was a rumor that it belonged to one of the locals who had once lived there. But within a few days, I guess the news had circulated that people had found buried treasure. Well, sort of. And this leads to the pimple. He hears that the inmates are finding buried treasure and he goes to Elias and

says, do you know if the spirits can guide you to bury treasure? Because I would like you to help me find buried treasure. This guy. It turned out that there was a rumor that there was actually buried treasure in the area. So I guess this interpreter, this officer was like, if you help me, you know, maybe we can work something out. Um, so the interpreter wanted to find out if Elias could help him and ding, ding,

ding. This was the beginning of Elias' plan because the staff didn't know about the gun that the prisoners had just found. So Elias reburies it and then leads the interpreter to the gun to prove that he can in fact lure them to real treasure. Do you know that is so smart. Soon, the other officers now know

that Elias can help them find treasure. Oh God. This is crazy. Elias says, I will help you, but it has to be a secret because England might quote, execute me for financially aiding enemy forces. Oh yeah, he's like, I just gotta be so careful. You know what I mean?

I have to be so careful and like, nobody can know about this. Let's keep it real hot. Like I wanna help you, of course, of course. I wanna help you. Of course, me the prisoner wants to help my captors more than anything. Of course, not for myself. You know this. Just for you. You know this. Not for myself, just for you.

You know this about me. You know this. I've always said that. I've always said that and I always will. And I've never said anything else either. And we can all attest to that, right, Sally? And the commander of this whole group of officers, he's like, honestly, I totally agree. This needs to be kept secret

because I don't, first of all, I don't wanna look like a weirdo, obviously. But on top of that, on top of that, I don't want the higher ups to know that I'm working with a prisoner. They can't know that. A finding treasure on the side, yeah, no, no, no, they're not gonna like that.

Yeah, we both want this to be quiet, so no one's gonna know, no one's gonna know. And then Elias went, hee hee hee hee hee, okay. He went even further to say, and you know what? I'm not as strong on my own, but you know that medium in there, Cedric, who does all the seances, he should help too. I know he would really be good.

Notch. We don't have a lot of psychics here, a lot of mediums, but he is number one after me. And Doc was like, wait! So I think he should come with us. Yeah. What the fuck about me? When am I chopped liver? It's like, I was part of this origin story.

What the hell happened? So Elias convinces the staff to let him and Cedric get together, leaving prison property, to take them on a treasure hunt through the mountains. This is wild. This is just plain wild. They secretly hid clues for the other to dig up when the spirits told them something was nearby to keep the ruse going. And this they did it real smart, too. They did it super slow, where like they would do a treasure hunt and then go back to prison

and they would gain their trust until eventually they could take them on multiple treasure hunts. That's probably the hardest part. Like you've got to play a long game. Oh my gosh. This became their new scheme to use these treasure hunts to eventually escape. And these treasure hunts totally led by fucking spirits.

Wow. While on these trips, they even, I don't know if they smuggled the camera or something with them or the inmates. I don't know if the guards had cameras. I don't know how, but there's a camera involved. While on these trips, Cedric and Elias would take pictures secretly of the staff,

letting them outside and wandering around with them while they're unchained. So that way, if anything happened, they could use these pics to send them to the higher ups to say, our captors were complicit in our escape and no prisoners can be harmed because of our escape. Sorry, not our fault. By the way, like a camera back then,

wasn't it on giant tripods and it took like three hours to take a photo? They're like, they're taking secret photos. It's not like you can just hold your phone. It's not very secret. It had to be like the spirits say, look over there and stare for five hours. Yeah, the spirits totally said that

and there's gonna be a flash of lightning and then like the flash bulb goes off. Oh God. Or like you might as well bring your oil paints out while you're at it. Just paint it. There will be a mural when you turn around. That's the weirdest thing.

This didn't last very long because there actually was an inmate who found out what Elias and Cedric were up to. And he resented that they were gonna be able to escape. He knew their plan, he knew it was gonna work. Oh, what a narc. And instead of like joining them, he decided that he was also a medium. Oh, for God's sake.

And the spirits he was talking to said that Elias and Cedric were going to be able to escape. He is such a little monster. And then he told the staff, hey, look out because the ghosts are telling me that Elias and Cedric are gonna be able to leave. And then he went so staff, hey, look out, because the ghosts are telling me that Elias and Cedric are gonna be able to leave. And then he went so far as to say, even if Elias and Cedric,

because I guess this got back to Elias and Cedric, and they had to go to the staff, and they were like, no, we're not planning on escaping, no. Why would someone say that about us? So then the medium was like, oh yes, the non-medium he was like, oh, yes The the spirits are telling me now that even against their will the ghosts are going to trick them into escaping So it's like no matter what you can't trust what sides of criminal lives are saying So this freaked out the commander because he was worried that even if these two guys weren't actually trying to escape

The spirits would trick them into it And then he would have then he would have two prisoners disappearing under his command and he'd be in trouble So he stopped the treasure hunts. He was like no no no no that can't be now out of options because Imagine literally stepping foot in the free world multiple times and like how do you just run that last time you would have been fucking? Yeah, besides he needs to get involved. Oh So by the way, I don't know prison rules but shouldn't that third guy be dead now like shouldn't he have been I think The Gatherer should have done some gathering

I don't I don't know enough about about prison politics, but I feel like if someone hinders you from escaping when you were so close, that guy would be on my shit list. Especially if there's literal poison in your pocket and you can say, oh, the ghost did it. Easy. Anyway, so now the treasure hunts are no more. So now out of options, Elias and Cedric try one final plan that they're going to fake insanity in hopes that they would be sent home,

because I guess that happens sometimes. No, they're like, anyway, that's all out the window. So are you serious? Cedric says it would be impossible to convince the higher-ups that both of them were insane at the same time He was like that's an obvious scheme Elias. You just say that you you're insane and get sent home I'll I'll take one for the team and stay behind and Elias said fuck that we've both been pretending that we're mediums and talking To ghosts like we both look fucking insane. Yeah, you're coming with me

they had not told the staff yet like oh we are mentally not well. Instead, they use the medium thing. And they told the higher ups that we're listening to them, the spirits are telling us that we that the staff should write to their higher ups that we've lost our minds. Like almost getting them like by force to write letters saying that they are vouching that they got to go home Yeah, the spirits want you to vouch for us that we need to go home. Got you. Basically and

So these like the pimple and the commander they wrote letters really wrapped around this guy's finger, man They said that Cedric and Elias were mediums that were recently experiencing paranoid and violent delusions. They wrote that both men were, which this is things that I can't tell if it was like Elias and Cedric just told them to write or if... Right, like how much of this is coming from the guards versus like what they were told to write down? Well, like how much of it was the spirits just telling...

I think I'm totally guessing here, and you'll understand why in a second. I think what's happening is that Cedric and Elias went to the guards and said, this is what's happening to us, or they said, the spirits are telling us this is about to happen to us and we're about to lose our minds. And this is like our last cohesive thing we can say to you before we lose our minds. And so this is your warning to write letters now before it gets too bad. Because they had the guards write that they are totally losing it. They're super paranoid that their food's being poisoned.

They've stopped eating. They've stopped bathing. They've stopped sleeping. And then Cedric and Elias actually committed to it. So that way, when doctors came to visit them in the prison, it looked real. Why did anybody care about them? Like, if I were a prisoner, I'd be like, I'd be worried they would just kill me and be like, you're a pain in the ass. Yeah, I don't know. I don't know.

Everyone's bored. I guess know. I don't know. Everyone's bored, apparently, up here. I guess so. I have... So, yeah, so I think they were saying, the spirits are about to do this to us. Oh, and they probably have that threat of punishment. Like, you can't kill us

because the ghosts will then bring vengeance on you. Right, right, right. So they said the spirits want you to do this, and if you don't, then you're fucked. So they write these letters, the doctors come to check on them. And Elias and Cedric literally do stop bathing, eating, sleeping as much as they can. That way, when the doctors get there, they look sick. So that way it will play into the story that they really do need to go to a hospital.

And they get approved to go to a psychiatric hospital. And while on the way, Cedric and Elias decide that they really need to sell it. They like one one final thing to sell their condition. And they stage their own suicides. What? I feel like we're doing too much here because like we were already on our way. Out of prison. They like it's already happening, but I think they once really proved that they must be mentally unstable.

As Renee's mom always said when Renee was making a poster board and added far too much glitter, don't junk it up. You've done a fine job. One more sprit, one more sprinkle of glitter, you junked it up. Too much, too much, too much. Be patient. So in a brief moment where they were unattended,

they hang themselves with loose nooses because they know within seconds someone's going to come back to get them. So it works somehow, it was weirdly successful that, okay, now everyone's convinced that they have been fully driven to madness by being mediums. And-

And I think they're dead. Well no, they come, they save them in time. Oh, got it, got it, got it. They save them in time being like, oh, now you're clearly so... I see. So it was an attempt and then they were like, wow, you must really be off your rocker if you're trying to die by suicide. So you're really going through it.

You got to go home. But for, but there were some skeptics who were like, I don't know about this. This sounds really shady. And they happened to work at the hospital. And so they put Elias and Cedric through all these tests to interrogating them about spirituality, trying to test their cognitive, to make sure

that they were actually OK. I don't know what actually happened here. It sounds like it was really horrible and like inhumane treatments that like nearly killed them. I, this doesn't feel like a psychiatric hospital I'd like to be in. It was also in 1917. So like, we've heard enough about asylums and we, yeah, yeah, not sub not that. And they have foreigners who are prisoners of war. Right, right.

So I don't know, I don't know like the details of that, but it sounds like for the next six months, they were put through like all these trials. Six months to see if they were even telling the truth, how believable they were, if any of this was real. I mean, by that point, you probably would lose your mind. Like, holy shit. Yeah, they even said that.

They were like, it felt like we were actually, actually going through it now. It is going too far again. They're junking it up. But they kept up the shtick, and eventually doctors just had to give up, and they're like, there's no evidence that they're faking their mediumship or their illness.

Holy shit. And I guess they can go home. And so they ended up going home, and the irony is only like two or three weeks later, the war was over, and they would have gone home anyway. After all of this. Oh, it was like after this entire story, if you just didn't do anything for two more weeks, you would have been fine.

When he got home, he started writing down what happened all all of this, and like, fully admitting to everything. But he, he did say it made him unsure if there's any true mediums out there because he fooled for six months, like psychiatric, like professionals and like intense guards and all of his friends. People who knew him, like, yeah, that's pretty surprising. Because of this, he said that he was very worried by the way that all of his skeptical friends and all these skeptical men surrounding him,

how quickly they became gullible because they were just so desperate. Yeah, that's sad. And then when you talked about spiritualism and like the desperation to talk to your loved ones, that makes it a little icky. Yeah, he almost... It's interesting, because he was clearly doing this

to escape prison, and he accidentally became his own case study, because he ended up writing in his own accounts that he was very worried about the millions of people that were grieving around him, because there was a pandemic, there was the war, there was a genocide up where he was staying. So during a spiritualist movement, all that happening, he worried that they were all in danger of being taken advantage of.

And he would have never even thought of that had he not been the one taking advantage of people. Right, he's like, wait, this was a lot easier than I thought. And now he can probably, it's like Houdini, right? Like he can see through the tricks because he's done them. So he ends it up, this is a quote from his account saying, if this book saves one bereaved mother from preferring the unwholesome excitement of the seance and the trivial babble of a hired trickster to the healing power of moral and religious reflection on the truths that give to human

life, its stability and worth, then the miseries and sufferings through which we pass in our struggle for freedom will indeed have had a most ample reward. So he's like, turn to Jesus instead. He was like, just don't believe these people, folks. I've been there. So this is the, that's the prison escape

of Elias Henry Jones and such. The craziest thing, I can't believe I've never heard of that. Like that feels like such a grabby headline. Like these prisoners use a Ouija board to escape, you know. I know. How did you find this story? Well, our handy dandy, Saoirse. Yeah, finds the best stuff, the most random stuff.

Well, Em, good job, nice work. That was a delightful story. Here we go. I have a tale for you. Anyway, no time to dilly-dally. Here's something fucked up. Enough of that. I have a story today that I actually recommended Sershal look into because remember the case of the body in room 348 that I covered relatively recently

where that man died mysteriously and oh yeah yeah yeah and so this is spoilers for those who haven't heard the episode um so if you want to listen to it it was episode 381 but the private eye Ken Brennan who was the one that shined the laser through the bullet hole and was able to figure it out. Like he's this private eye, former, I think former NYPD, like he needs a show about him. You know what I mean? He's the real LUT. Yeah, there might be a show about this guy,

to be quite honest. So this PI, Ken Brennan, he's the one who solved that case. And I had mentioned there's another case connected to him that I want to cover soon. And that is this case. So this is the other kind of notorious case that Ken Brennan solved when nobody else could figure it out. So it's another mystery. Ooh, okay.

I know. And we get answers again. So it's kind of the best of both worlds. This was the original case I got coverage in Vanity Fair for Ken Brennan's involvement and he like Sherlock Holmes the shit out of it you know and that kind of put him on the map and Here we go. I'm gonna dive right into it. So we're in the year 2005 It's just after 8 a.m

And a power line worker is driving through an undeveloped suburb of the edge of Miami, Florida. As he passes by the empty lots that line this cul-de-sac, he spots what he pretty immediately realizes is a body on the side of the road. He pulls over and indeed he finds a young woman. She's curled up in the grass, naked. There are obvious signs somebody has beaten this woman severely. Her face is swollen, covered in lacerations. Her whole body is covered in violent bruises. He's staring at her in horror for a long moment, and then he realizes that she is still alive.

So, of course, he immediately calls for help. The woman is airlifted to Jackson Memorial Hospital. She is unconscious for a full 24 hours, barely clinging to life in critical condition. So, you know, as she's unconscious, all they can do is assess her body and they realize she has been raped repeatedly. She has suffered multiple brutal blows to her head

so intensely that they fractured the bones in her eye socket, like really, really aggressively, brutally attacked. And the case went to a detective named Alan Foot. Now, Alan Foot, and by the way, in the last case with this Ken Brennan, the guy's name was Detective Apple. So now we've got Detective Apple, Detective Foot. You know, I feel like they could have like one of those law offices of like Apple Foot and Pimple. Apple and Foot. Really? Detective Agency. Apple Foot actually doesn't sound like too bad of a

Detective name. Detective Apple Foot actually kind of works. Maybe that can be a character in our Trime Traveler. Wait, Trime Traveler? What's it called? Trime, or Trime Travels. Oh wait, our Crime Travels. Are we okay? No, our Crime Travelers. We're working on it. It's okay. So, Detective Alan Foote. Now, he, like I said, really doesn't have much to work with because this woman is unconscious. There's no way to identify said, really doesn't have much to work with because this woman is unconscious. There's no way to identify her.

She doesn't have any identifying documents on her, no wallet, nothing like that. So he drove to the neighborhood where she was found and he walked door to door asking whether anyone knew her or had witnessed anything unusual and nobody had seen anything. Now the scary part was they weren't sure if she was gonna survive, right?

So if she does not survive, this is kind of, I mean, sorry for the choice of words, but a dead end. There's really not much they can do. And so thank God she did ultimately regain consciousness. Her jaw was so swollen that she couldn't speak. Instead, she was able to communicate through writing. The first thing she wrote down was her name and her name was Ina Budnitska.

She then wrote a second name along with a phone number and both of those belonged to her attorney. Oh, wow. Okay. I was thinking like her mom or something. Okay. So of course, this is a little odd to detectives, right? They're thinking, yeah, maybe we should call your mom or like a sister or friend, anybody. And they're like, well, you know, maybe she's involved in something criminal.

Is that why she wants a lawyer right away? And here's the thing. It's nothing that dramatic or exciting. She actually was just trying to get ahold of anyone who could advocate for her. She was a Ukrainian employee who worked for a cruise line that operated out of Miami. And she had been injured on the ship where she worked. And so she was in the middle of this civil litigation against the cruise line. And she had this lawyer who was helping her through that. So basically the only person she knew locally was this attorney who was helping her. She was just

in town because that's where the port of the cruise ship was. She was actually from Ukraine. And so she's going through this legal suit. And while this is going on, she's staying at this hotel and just kind of waiting. And it's called the Airport Regency Hotel. And she's by the way, all of these like Ken Brennan stories are hotel themed. I'm noticing. Yeah, this man, he's really into like hotel. All of these Ken Brennan stories are hotel themed, I'm noticing.

Yeah, this man, he's really into hotel crimes. Yeah, I feel like that's his current phase anyway. I also, I feel so bad for this woman. I can't imagine being in town where you don't know the language. Maybe she knows the language, but she doesn't know anybody. And like, but she is already there for a crime and like a legal matter.

And now there's a whole double legal matter. Like I can't imagine having to juggle two things. It's like one on top of the other. Maybe you're the victim of. Because the first one, she was injured. And so she was in this hotel basically for the foreseeable future, just recovering from the injury. Like there was nothing she could do.

So she was already weak too from the first attack. And so that first accident, whatever it was, I don't know the details about that. But so she's stuck in this hotel, the airport Regency, recovering from this injury. She's alone in a foreign country, no family, no close friends. She later said the only person she really knew

to reach out to was the attorney handling her civil suit. So that was sort of a dead end. At first I thought, oh maybe this is some sinister you know thing she's involved with. No. So Ina then wrote down questions asking what had happened, who hurt her, and the detectives were like, huh you know that's actually what we were kind of hoping to ask you. You know, who hurt you? Who did this?

But, you know, it was like, I don't know. And they were like, well, we certainly don't know. So we're kind of at an impasse here. She did remember, so her memory was very foggy, but she did remember that the night before she was discovered in the empty neighborhood, she had gone out for dinner and drinks with a man named Peter, who was a Greek acquaintance that worked for the same cruise line and happened to be in town. So they went out to grab a drink. They left the bar together in a cab, dropped Peter off at home, and then Ina returned to

her hotel alone just before midnight. She then left at 3.30 in the morning to walk to a nearby gas station where she purchased a minutes card for her phone because Ina was very close with her mother and they talked on the phone as often as possible. But with the time difference, it was the middle of the night when Ina got back to her hotel from the gas station. It was 3.40 AM in Florida, but in Ukraine it was almost 11 a.m. So this was kind of their little routine that she would call at like 4 a.m. to talk to her mom.

And so investigators were able to confirm this timeline because despite the fact that it was only 2005 and this is like a random airport regency hotel, they had an extremely advanced security system for the time. And yeah, I feel like we never have that. It's always, oh, guess what? It's always, though, the camera's busted in the corner of the wall. Oops, we accidentally turned it off that day, but only that day.

It's always something like that. But no, they actually had a very advanced security system. And so they had these 16 high quality cameras with motion sensor activation. And it monitored the entire perimeter of the hotel's exterior and part of the lobby. But there were no cameras in hallways or elevators for guests' privacy. But basically anywhere else, any exit, any entry point, no matter where, was being watched with cameras just to make sure people could see who came in and out of this building. So additionally, two security guards stood on duty at night.

There was a fence surrounding the property and the back gate was locked as well as the back door to the hotel itself. So this is like a very, what do you call it? Locked down place. Like there are not people, not randoms getting in and out of here. And so it'd be nearly impossible for anyone to come and go without being seen. And Ena was very clearly on the

security footage, unmistakable. She left the hotel for dinner. She returned alone, not with that Peter guy. She left again for her phone card at 3.30 AM, returned around 3.40. and that was that. The mystery now became, wait a minute, who did this to you, but also how did you end up on the side of the road? Oh, she didn't have a rental car. There was no footage of this woman leaving the hotel after her short trip to the gas station.

Oh, what? Do you remember? Oh no, is this like a, what? I was gonna say, is this like a body in the suitcase situation? No. I feel like there's weirdly more than one of those stories. So now I'm like panicked that someone brought her in a way where she was not showing up.

All right, well, let's see. So there's no footage of her leaving the hotel after her short trip to the gas station. So Detective Foot is stumped. He interesting choice of words, Saoirse. Was that on purpose? I don't think so. He considered that she might have been like thrown over a balcony, lowered down by a rope, like maybe somehow got out of a window

and was unseen by cameras. But even then there were cameras like on the ground. So she should have been captured on one of them at some point in the night. So then he starts thinking, well, maybe someone at the hotel was involved, someone who could like tamper with the footage or disable the cameras.

And so security footage in the lobby showed that the night manager that night was George Perez, and he actually left the front desk for 15 minutes and got on an elevator with Ina at one point. Oh, okay. And investigators were already wary of George when they first spoke because he told them outright that he didn't trust police officers,

and they're like, well, that can't be right. Something's off. I don't blame him, but also like But also not moment. You know not the time right it's kind of like Your own sake let's say read the room. Yeah, read the room boo buddy these guys are not Yeah, they're not to be trifled with now. They were wondering if he was like nervous because he had something to hide I mean to be quite frank it doesn't sound like he was nervous at all. It sounds like he was pretty damn bold and he sounds like Oscar the Grouch.

He's like, I don't like it. I don't care what you think of me. Yeah. And so I don't know what they're talking about nervous, but anyway, they thought maybe there's something up with this guy. He doesn't trust us and that can't be right. So they look into him. He has master key card access to every room in the hotel.

And like I said, he's seen walking out of the lobby into the elevator with Ina. And so don't get me wrong, trusting cops, not trusting cops. This is fishy, I think. Like if I were a detective, I'd be like- Coincidental, like what are the odds? Yeah, like let's look into this guy.

So they talked to George, of course, and he said, well, Eno was tipsy when she returned to the hotel after dinner and he escorted her to her room to make sure she got there safely. And so Detective Foote was like, all right. And she remembered that too and said, no, that guy just left me at the room. Nothing happened.

So Detective Foote put a pin in that and also looked closely at this friend, Peter happened. So Detective Foot put a pin in that and also looked closely at this friend, Peter, that she had gotten drinks with because apparently Peter had a little bit of a background. He had been recently actually arrested in a domestic violence dispute. And it actually occurred with Ina. She was part of the dispute. So in fact, Ina and Peter had been at a nightclub together having drinks and I guess Peter wasn't feeling safe because of some of the people at the nightclub. He wanted to leave, Ina wanted to stay.

Peter tried to pull her outside by the arm. Don't do that to a drunk girl. From my experience as a drunk girl, that will send me fucking off the handle. Yeah, don't pull on me, don't grab me. Yeah. So he tried to pull her out by the arm. I mean, I don't know the circumstances. Sounds like he was in a bad spot. They start arguing. The club security guard happened to be a police officer. He intervened. Peter was arrested. And, you know, obviously it seemed like they had worked things out. Now they were going out again to get drinks

But Peter of course still had to be looked at just like George so both men agreed to put DNA samples forward and They wanted to compare, you know their DNA obviously to what was collected in the rape kit But neither were matches to her attacker Okay, so so now it's a third random person. We don't know anything about yet. Correct Okay back to square one. OK. So. So now it's a third random person we don't know anything about yet. Correct. OK. Back to square one.

So Detective Foot is um. Stumped. I was like, what's up? Any other word? Nope, can't come up with one. So while investigators tried to put together a timeline and figure out how the fuck Ina got out of the hotel, Ina unfortunately started experiencing the hotel. Ina unfortunately started

experiencing the symptoms of PTSD. She was having nightmares. She was getting like what you see on TV, those like fleeting memories kind of coming back. Like your trauma is like kind of starting to remind you it's there. And so she tried to think back and she talked to police and said she was trying to get to the bottom of the story, give them as much information as she could. She said she believed there had been multiple attackers, at least two men, possibly three. They were white. They spoke with accents that Ina said may have been Romanian, maybe Hispanic. And Ina herself hadn't a Ukrainian accent and wasn't fully fluent in English. So it was like hard to know if she would have picked up

on someone else's accent speaking in English, if she would have known how to pinpoint that or place that. Right. So they weren't super sure if they should trust that. And what city is this again? Miami, Florida. Okay. So yeah, they weren't sure how much of this was like,

real memory versus like kind of just foggy, filling in the blanks type stuff. And Ena said that someone had forced an alcoholic drink into her mouth. One of the attackers had a pillow over her face. They beat her, carried her downstairs and raped her in a vehicle And it was really hard for her because she's telling all this and then they're kind of coming back and going We're trying but like, you know, she's like working so hard to try and give them anything she can and it's just not leading anywhere

Very frustrating for them, but especially for her just not leading anywhere. Very frustrating for them, but especially for her. And she had said, oh, they carried me downstairs, but looking through the camera footage, they would have seen somebody carrying her downstairs and putting her inside a vehicle that was just not on the camera footage. Investigators even went to her room where she had been staying and they looked everywhere for a sign of struggle. I'm sure they were looking for those toothpaste holes in the walls from that other story. I know. I'm like, where's Brennan? I need this guy. He's not here yet, which is why things seem like they're not going anywhere. He needs to enter the picture. So they don't see anything weird in her room. It looks like everything is in

order. They look at the swipe history and the date of her hotel key. And they did notice that sometimes she took the elevator to her floor, but then there would be 10 to 15 minutes before she entered her hotel room. Interesting, where the hell was she going? Weird, right? So their first thought is, well, maybe she's a sex worker.

Maybe she was visiting other people on the floor before we were heading to her room. And they made the unfortunate mistake of asking Ina whether she exchanged sex for money while she's trying to fucking like solve her case. And she's like, no. And she found that very painful, very irrelevant. She says, no, I'm not a sex worker.

And hotel staff said, no, we know this woman. She stayed here for a while. She was not going to any other guests rooms. She says, no, I'm not a sex worker. And hotel staff said, no, we know this woman. She stayed here for a while. She was not going to any other guest rooms. She was very private, very quiet. She would sometimes chit chat with hotel staff and other employees because she didn't have anyone else to socialize with. But that's about it.

So everyone who spoke of Ina seemed to not paint her as a sex worker, seemed to not paint her as someone who was doing shady things and lying about it. And so they just could not get to the bottom of who on earth would do this and why. And Foot was stumped again. They had no leads, no motives. They couldn't explain how she- The toes were stubbed.

The toes were stubbed and they were not interconnected ever again, please God. They said we reached a dead end. It just didn't fit. So months passed, no new leads. Now this poor girl has like her civil suit with the cruise line. And that's like back burner now. Cause she's like suddenly dealing with such a bigger thing.

And so, Oh boy, Oh boy, imagine that hospital bill too. She better win that civil suit, man. Cause that's gonna be a pricey bill. So a month's passed, no new leads. Detective Foote said he wanted to have hope that like something new would come up, but it's just those chances were dwindling. So Ina and her attorney decided to file a civil lawsuit

against the hotel. They're already filing one against the cruise line. Let's go to the hotel. What's one more? What's one more? Yeah, what's one more? So all they knew is that someone was able to enter Ina's room without breaking in.

They must have somehow accessed a key card if it wasn't George, you know? So the guards and the security cameras, which usually captured all activity, somehow missed her being taken and abducted out of the hotel. So Ena and her lawyer are like, somebody dropped the ball, we're gonna get to the bottom of it and file this lawsuit.

So the hotel contacted their own law firm to defend it in the case, because they knew like this would be bad news if they lost it. And the law firm reached out to none other than private detective Ken Brennan. Oh, thank God. Da da da da.

I feel like he finally took a, I feel like he finally took a breath from his hotel scheme, that last one. He went, oh, I'm just, you know, maybe I just stretch, take a walk. You know, I've cracked the case. Let me reward myself with a fun little smoothie. It's a smoothie.

Ha ha ha. And before he could even get to the smoothie, the phone rings and he goes, oh, what now? It's that cliche of he sits back with his iced tea and he's like, ah, and then the phone rings and he's like, I'm on it, you know, at the end of the movie. Oh yeah, it's the Superman complex of like,

all right, let me unbutton my shirt and put the unitard back on. All right, let's go. I will say this one was first. So this was like his first big case that got him on the map. So the body in room 348 was later, but still. Yeah, so they hired him. They said they hoped Ken could uncover what really happened

and prove the hotel was not at fault. But because he's Ken and we love him, he's Kenuff. I've never seen that movie, but I like to pretend I have. Ken said, no, no, I'm not here to prove you innocent or guilty. I'm here to find the truth. And so they said, fine, you're here to find the truth. Get to the bottom of it. And go ahead, go gather that truth. And if it doesn't serve us fine, but hopefully it will. So he said, I'll find out what happened. I'm not going to shade things to assist your client, but I will find out what the truth is.

And of course he was very intrigued by this case because of the mystery of the whole, how did she get abducted? And he also believed that sexual cases are the worst type of crime because we love Ken. And yes, Ken, he says he is especially dedicated to solving sexual violence cases and catching sexual predators. So get it, Ken.

He assured Detective Foot that he wanted to work on the case as a partner and Detective Foot said, all right. So they teamed up and got to work. Ken quickly discovered that the computer clocks that recorded key swipe data ran 20 minutes ahead of the clock for the elevator cameras. And that explains the time gap between the clocks on different settings.

So already he's like, that's out the window, irrelevant, next clue. And the security cameras he he realizes, are motion activated. So what he says is, let's try to sneak, let's have our detectives try to sneak past them and see if there's any way to avoid being detected. So they tried everything. They tried different patterns.

They tried to walk slowly. I assume they tried to crawl and roll their way through, try to like get past these without setting them off, but it was impossible. They were so sensitive that the slightest motion would activate these cameras to record. And so that was another thing they thought, okay, so someone's not sneaking past the cameras. Like, there's no way to do it. He just gets on the ground. I would have never even, you know, I'm glad he does because I couldn't have.

I would just already have a headache. I think I'd be like, okay, it's time for my smoothie. And they'll be like, you haven't done anything. I'm like, well, I'm gonna sit down and have a smoothie anyway. Oh, I will tell you for my birthday, I bought a bicycle. What?

And I know. Who are you? Well, Allison is really into roller skating and I'm trying to find more ways to find quality time with her. And you have that beautiful area up there in Burbank. I know. Yeah, Burbank is very bikeable. It actually has a 74 on walkability skill.

And Allison's big on rollerblading or roller skating. Jesus, she'll kill me if I say blading one more time. Roller skating, I'm team rollerblading, whatever. And she has big plans to become a big old skater this year. So if she's going to be outside, I got to be outside. I thought about not getting a bike and just doing the much cheaper, going back to my skateboard roots from middle school,

but I don't think I have that ability anymore. Oh, my friend, I was like, thank Christ. I would have had to intervene, I think. And not that I don't trust you. I do think that you could probably do fine. It's just that one time you fall, we're too old now to be falling. Yeah, and I'm somehow, you fall, we're too old now to be falling.

Yeah, and I'm somehow, you know, knock on everything, I have never broken a bone. I don't need to start that now. Me neither, oh my God, is this already, oh no. I've broken my ass bone quite a lot from falling. Oh, I broke my tooth on a piece of popcorn, does that count? That counts, yeah, that's bad. I mean, it's a bone and it broke, right?

Yeah. Anyway, so shout out to me learning to ride a bike all over again. Well, I'm proud of you. That's exciting. I'll ride a bike with you. I'm not very good at it, but I can do it. Okay. You're going to have to when Leona learns how to tricycle. Oh, God, help me. She's been... She discovered scooters the other day, and I went, this is gonna end badly for everybody. All right, so they are realizing nobody is sneaking past these damn cameras and he's thinking now,

okay, maybe Ina was in a disguise. I love this guy. I know. That's so smart. I love Brennan. Ken Brennan. Can you just do a whole series where you just cover Ken Brennan stories?

And it's like, here's what I'll say. We love Ken Brennan unless he has done something cancelable and or in the past, future, present, until further notice with full understanding that I have not researched this person very thoroughly. So that being said. Yeah, with what we know, we love Ken. Go him. We've done this before. We're like, go XYZ. Okay. Not so hard on the praise for that one. Oops. Yeah. So he considered every, which I also love every single person in this footage, a potential suspect. He didn't care.

He's like women, men, anybody. So he only eliminates them when he's certain, certain, not just assuming, but certain there's no way they could have been physically feasibly involved. So if somebody left the hotel, for example, before Ina got back from the gas station and then they didn't come back, Ken was like, well, they're out. Okay. Cross them off because they couldn't have been in the hotel when she was abducted. So anyone who entered the hotel but didn't leave again during this big period of her attack whenever that was, were also ruled out because they were still in the hotel

and couldn't have abducted her outside of the hotel. He is a smart man. So he's doing a deduction, crossing them off. And I wrote here, apparently far too late in my notes, any ideas or theories at this point, M? You already gave yours. Oh, hmm. Yeah, well, I do love the idea of maybe they're in disguise.

Yeah, I mean, that was very creative. Because my, after watching Mariska every single day of my life, I do wonder if someone just like, in those 15 minutes where like you can't see her, but it takes her from the elevator to the room. You know, she's like, there's like a break in time. I'm wondering if somebody during one of those moments like walked up to her and like at

gunpoint said we're going outside, put these clothes on and maybe it was like a married couple. Yeah. Maybe it looked like a couple, so you wouldn't. Yeah, and that must be- Or suitcase. Hold that thought. So Ken began to suspect that Ina

may have been removed from the hotel in someone's luggage. See, I think Ken and Brendan and I could get a soda. He would be fed up if I, on the second soda, he'd be like, I don't really wanna try to stay anymore. But for the first 20 minutes, we would first 20 minutes we would be making so many fucking puns about his job and his name and he'd be like and Detective foot I was I would keep like doing like intentionally calling him Bren Kenan just to piss him off just to see what would Happen I'm a brime. I'm a crime traveler Ken Bren Bren You understand right Bren Kenan. Can you write the intro to the forward for our new book called Crime Travelers?

Anyway, yeah, he would be over us very fast, but it seems like you guys are on the same page. So maybe you'd be an asset. Maybe you'd be that fun, loving sidekick that he wants to get rid of, but deep down, he really doesn't. Like, and I would, in one episode only, I would be kicked out,

and he would realize how much he missed me. This is for sure part of our crime traveler series. Eva, can you write that down? Because this is... Detective Applefoot and Bren Kennan. Wait, Kennan Brennan? I've lost touch with reality. It remains to be seen whether he signs off

on giving us his life rights or whether we have to make him Bren Kennan and then pretend it's a different person. Either way, either way, he'll be there, whether or whether we have to make him Bren Kennan and then pretend it's a different person. Either way, either way he'll be there whether or not he wants to be there. Oh yeah, he has no choice in the matter. No, no. Detective Applefoot and Bren Kennan on the case and I'm Detective Applefoot.

Oh are you? Oh. Wait a minute. Maybe I'm not detective yet. I'm just like a junior detective. Yeah, you're just a lovable sidekick. You're the one who wants to drive the squad car, but you never get to, you know?

I do mention it often. I'm like, when do I get the flip-flop light on? Yeah, and then one day when he's like shit out of luck, guess who comes screeching down the alley with the flashing lights. It's my turn. There's Em, save the day. It's my moment.

And then guess what? Then I take my disguise off cause you thought it was me all along. I ripped my human face mask off and it was you all along. It was me? Because I was trying to see, isn't that a plot twist? You didn't see it coming. And then you're like,

but where has the real detective Applefoot been? I've been time traveling. Crime traveling. This whole time. One might say. Crime traveling. Okay, it's, okay. Well, someone else has to write this part

because it's too much. Let's like put maybe the peeling the face mask off on the back burner for now, but the rest I'm really loving. I do need that to come back at some point. I don't care how. Maybe we could do like an extra for the DVD that we could put it in there.

How does that sound? Oh, no, I figured it out. You know what it is? Cause you thought I was the silly one the whole time and you thought Bren Cannon was the big bad one. We both peel our faces off and we're actually each other and I was the smart one all along. What?

That's me and you're me? And then we do the Spider-Man pointing meme. Wait a minute, wait a minute. Okay, again, let's put that, I love it, Em. I think like let's put it in that box over there that we reserved for all our best ideas. And then we can try coming up with something new just for fun.

I don't know if I, if you, I think you're saying the box with all my best ideas patronizingly because I think it's padlocked. I think you don't let any of, if you, I think you're saying the box with all my best ideas, um, patronizingly, because I think it's padlocked. I think you don't let any of the ideas out of work. Well, it is shaped like a trash can, but don't, don't worry about that. That's just a coincidence. It's actually a special, special box for all your best ideas.

Full of lighter food. Yeah. Yeah. Just for later. Don't worry about it. Um, okay. So anyway, you and Ken realize, oh my gosh, someone has taken her. By the way, you realized it before Ken did, so whatever. But someone has taken her out.

It's been, see, you pulled the face off and I was the smart one all along. So you figured this out way before he did. And finally, after countless hours of looking at every effing camera, which honestly sounds a lot like what you do with our ghost footage when we go ghost hunting. So weirdly kind of the same job. You guys are- I have the skillset he needs. Yeah, I mean really freakishly similar,

it's starting to sound like. He finally settles on one particular man as a suspect. He's like, I think it's this motherfucker. So at 3.41, just as Ina is getting back from the gas station to call her mom, this mystery man, the suspect, engages her in conversation outside the elevator. And it's actually, I know we talked last week

or maybe the week before about how 911 calls really freak me out. It's the same with security footage. When you see somebody walk up and start chit chatting and you know what's gonna happen and the person just has no clue. Oh, it just, ooh, it turns my skin. Ooh. So they're standing outside the elevator.

There's footage of this online. This man walks up next to her, starts chit chatting, and they both get on the elevator together. Hmm. At 5.28 AM, this is one hour and 47 minutes later, that man comes back down to the lobby, pulling behind him a large suitcase on wheels. Now, I feel like we should probably mention

the elephant in the room, which is the fact that, thank God we said last time, now I don't know how I feel about fucking suitcases with wheels. You make a good point. But then you covered that train story where the woman put a child's body in a duffel. So I'm like, nobody's safe, I guess. Nobody's safe.

The second you have a bag that can fit any size person, that size person is not safe. You're 100% right. Outlawed. They should all be outlawed. They should all be unwields person. That size person is not safe. That's, you're 100% right. Outlawed. They should all be outlawed. They should all be unwields again. Unwield. Nevermind.

Yeah, that's Em's idea. Em's, vote Em, mayor of Burbank. Look, only I can have wheeled luggage. Everyone else must suffer. That's how it goes. That's for you. Drop all your wheeled luggage off at Em's address and it'll be collected.

I'll take care of it. They'll know what it means. Okay, so at 5.28 AM, which is an hour and 47 minutes after they get off the elevator or they get on the elevator the first time, he's down in the lobby, pulling behind him a suitcase on wheels. And as the man exits the elevator,

the suitcase gets stuck in that little divot to the point, and he's a big guy, he has to turn around and tug it with both hands over the lip on the floor. Oh, she's heavy. Okay. The suitcase, I mean, to be clear. Not the person, the suitcase.

I see where I did that. No, no, no, I didn't notice it for a minute either, but yeah, so she is presumably now inside the suitcase, this is why it is heavier than an average wheelie suitcase. It's getting stuck on items. So Ken is looking at this. He's going, whatever's in there. It's heavy.

Less than an hour later, the man returns to the hotel with no suitcase and goes back to his room. That's very mysterious. Look, I'm sitting here on my big old throne right here. Me and my big fat head who already, I saw this. Your giant head is balanced on top of all those wheeled suitcases, the mountain of wheeled suitcases

you've taken from the people of Burbank. You're just sitting atop your mountain of wheelie suitcases. Your big ass head. So Ken now does the math part, which probably wouldn't be you or me, but Ken's good at this. He measures the elevator doorway and he's able to use that footage

and those measurements to determine the height of the suitcase. He then measures the width of the carpet in the lobby and compares that to the suitcase. He's able to determine the luggage's width, width, yes, width as well. He is a Kenan stem. I'm so proud of him. I love that for him.

I actually wrote he's a Kenan stem. I don't, it must've been, must've been a moment I was having. By the dimensions he calculated, the suitcase would definitely be large enough to fit Ina inside. So, Ken's like, ding, ding, ding. I think this is our guy. I think this is our rapist and abductor that we're looking for.

And he was especially concerned by how calm this man seemed. Because if he really had raped Ina and beaten her nearly to death, put her in a suitcase, wheeled her through a hotel lobby, dumped her body, you'd think like he would enter the hotel being a little shaken up an hour later. But nah, he didn't seem even the slightest bit concerned. He wielded the suitcase through the hotel, out the door, relaxed, confidence. Ken, of course, his first thought being, not his first time. Nope. Not his first time. And you know how Ken feels about sex offenders.

He is not going to have it. He is not going to let this one rest. He is after this. Because he's Elliot Stabler. Yes. Well, yeah. And also I feel like I would have been able to tell early on that this wasn't this guy's first time.

If he didn't look fucking nervous as shit with this big suitcase If I had a body inside of a suitcase I you'd be seeing me on the camera stopping every five seconds to like catch my breath I'm saying I don't have a body in the suitcase Is that what you're wondering? Oh my god, there's a little understandable mistake, but I do not have a body in the suitcase. I Didn't do anything wrong, but also don't wonder where my luggage is. Also, I'm like totally gonna come back without it, but it's for a good reason, and it's not about the body.

Yeah, but I won't tell you that reason either. But I know, I would think immediately this can't be his first time because he seems way too cool. That's exactly what he thought. He was like, I'm convinced, he's a repeat offender. And that definitely comes into play, So we'll get to that. Ken presents his theory to the detectives.

And there was a bit of doubt at first because the man in the footage was alone and he was black. And Ina had described these white assailants repeatedly, like multiple white assailants. But again, like we have to remember Grain of Salt, Enid suffered very violent head trauma and she was trying so hard to fill in the blanks

that perhaps she had grabbed onto the wrong details. Perhaps she was remembering, you know, some other event or occurrence or some other people she had encountered. And her descriptions of her attackers changed several times over her telling. So they couldn't really rely on that. So this was a better bet.

Just rationally and with all the clues, all the facts in front of them. And like her memory, which was a little foggy. So even early on, Detective Foot had believed that Ina's memories, like, weren't really reliable. So he was doubtful enough to go ahead with Ken and say, all right, you know what, follow this lead. I think you're onto something. Now you got to find out who this guy is.

So Ken with the go ahead, he isolates and observes every single moment that this man appears on any of the hotel cameras while he's staying there that weekend. And as he's going through this footage, he realizes this man has had several conversations with one particular man who seems to be an acquaintance of his, if not a friend, perhaps an acquaintance, coworker, and this guy seemed to appear regularly

on tape with him and they're just chatting. So, you know, with no other clues to go on, Ken is looking through this footage. This is where Christine pushes Em out of the chair and says, my turn, my turn, because he's going through the footage and he sees that the man has a logo on his shirt that reads Mercury. Oh, immediately I would step out of the chair. I'd be like, Christine, you are, your turn.

This is my one skill I can bring. I don't even know what a rhombus is, but I do know how to track down a logo and a t-shirt. I need to track someone down. Here I'm going to send you the logo. I'm curious if you recognize it because I saw it and went, I know that logo, but I think that's only me.

Like, I don't think that this is not like a normal one I think people would look at and go, oh, I know what company that is. So it says Mercury. I mean, I think it says Mercury. I think because you primed mean, I think, I think it says Mercury. I think because you primed me, I think I know where, is it like a, like an internet or power company or something? Nope.

Like a utility company. I only know this because of my stepdad. It's Mercury Marine. They make boats and boat parts. Oh, no, I would have not known that. My stepdad is all about Mercury Marine. We have these frigging stickers all over our house. So this would be my one weird,

I feel like it's like a forced plot point. Like you had to have seen me somewhere else earlier in the episode, like being annoyed that my stepdad has so many stickers everywhere about boats. And then it would come back now where I'm like, I've seen that logo before, you know, some bullshit like that. I love when we write our scripts together. And then never write them. We just say them out loud and they're so nonsensical. Well, we wrote them. We just wrote them. Oh, we

did. Yeah. Somebody write that down. It's done. So Mercury Marine, he doesn't know this because Ken can't know everything. Sometimes I have to know one thing, he doesn't know this, because Ken can't know everything. Sometimes I have to know one thing that Ken doesn't know. And it's just this one time. So this Mercury Marine symbol, he sees that. And on the back of the shirt, it says Verado. So he searches these words, he finds that Verado is a type of boat engine

made by a boat manufacturer, Mercury Marine. So Ken contacts Mercury Marine directly and says, where would one acquire this t-shirt from this scary surveillance footage? Don't worry why I'm asking. And Mercury Marine told him, oh, those t-shirts specifically were distributed in a food court at a recent boat show that took place in Miami the same weekend of Ina's attack. Okay, well that's a very specific answer. Specific. But that also sounds like now our poor guy

has to go through more CCTV. Always, and that's the burden that he faces every day. He's like, okay, what footage am I watching today? Now how many people do I have to follow on? Yeah. Oh, your eyes. He needs to lay glasses if anyone does, you know. I guess you can just watch from, it can't be that hard.

You watch from the beginning of when that company gets there with the shirts and then when they leave and then just anyone who put their hand on a shirt. That's all you have to care about. Well. But that's still probably like a hundred people. Maybe. Or what if at the, okay, here, yes. I mean, yes, you're right.

Oh, but then it could be gifted to someone or like someone grabbed it for their boyfriend. Somebody trade sizes, who knows? So, but that's not even the angle they go, right? Because here's what happened. Ken contacted Human Resources for, because remember, they were given out at a food court. He contacts Human Resources for Center Plate, which is the business that provided food, the catering company that

provided food at the boat show. And, um... Oh, right. He has, right. I'm so stupid. He literally already has this guy on other footage. He can just show that footage to these people. So he describes the men to the people at the center plate who ran the food at this boat show. And center plate says, oh yeah, we recognize this guy. I mean, to be fair, he's like, I think a six foot tall black man who's like very large. So it's like, yeah, people noticed him. And so they said, oh yeah, we definitely, he was one of our employees that day. And when Ken starts canvassing other employees, he described the same

guy and other employees described him too. And what's even better is one of them said, oh yeah, that that's Mike Jones. Oh, ding ding ding. Ding ding ding. So upon returning to the original hotel evidence, P.I. Ken, can I call you that Ken? P.I. Ken? I prefer Detective Applefoot. My mistake. Noted that a man named Michael Lee Jones, Mike Jones, had checked into the airport Regency Hotel that weekend

that Ina's, that the boat show took place and that Ina was attacked. And did the room happen to be in that weird little hutch that was 15 minutes? No, so remember that was because the cameras were just delayed. So that 15 minutes is out the window. Irrelevant.

Okay, got it. So Detective Foote got in contact with Michael Jones. So now Ken is like, hey, Detective Foote, here's this information, reach out to this guy. I think he might be our guy. So Detective Foot reaches out, tells him he's investigating an incident that occurred in Miami during the weekend of a boat show he was working.

And Michael said, yeah, yeah, I was working at that boat show. I would love to meet up and be of assistance. So already Detective Foot is like, well, that's weird. I feel like he wouldn't just be so willing to come down to the station and answer questions if he was involved and he had his doubts. And then when he met him in person, he was only further convinced that this guy might be innocent because he seemed really calm, really collected.

And Detective Foote is asking him these questions, trying to trip him up. And finally, Detective Foote is like, you're being investigated in a violent rape. He said, look, I've got a girl who was raped that week. Did you have anything to do with it? And Michael seemed horrified. He said, of course, he had nothing to do with it. And Detective Foot really felt like he was telling the truth. And he asked whether Michael would provide a DNA sample to rule him out. And he's like, absolutely. Nicole Soule Oh, damn. Okay, damn, okay, well now what? So Michael agreed right away, Detective Foot was like, Ken, this is the wrong guy,

there's no way. The DNA comes back, it's a match. What? So he was just really gonna call on a bluff. He thought he was calling on a bluff. He thought he was just being smooth, I guess. But they got their guy. Okay, that's, all right.

I feel like I want an explanation as to why he thought he wasn't so fucked. Well, I don't know if I can give you one, except remember that this wasn't his first rodeo, so to speak, as far as committing these violent crimes. So he seems... Remember when we called him a little too calm walking through that hotel lobby with a body and a suitcase? I think he's just trying to play them how he knows to, to just be polite and accommodating

and friendly. Meanwhile, George is like, I don't trust the police. And they're like, this guy did it. So maybe he thinks he's doing something. And Detective Foot really believes him until Detective Foot put his foot right back into his mouth because it turns out, yeah, this is a perfect match. He should have waited. He should have waited to tell Ken, we've got the wrong guy. But he said, we've got the wrong guy. And then the lab was like, it's the right guy. So he's

arrested. Mike Jones is arrested. He's charged with kidnapping, rape, other felonies. And Michael claimed that Ina, of course, this is his excuse. She's a sex worker. It was consensual. And that is why his DNA was on her. But he adamantly denied having anything to do with the attack. He said she was perfectly fine when he left her hotel room. And prosecutors were like, well, shit, we don't have cameras to prove any of this.

She doesn't remember. Like, this is just such a, it's getting more complicated to try and pin it on this guy if he's lying. And he had been so compliant and calm. They were like, we're worried. It's not that they didn't believe her. Like, they knew that this was the attacker

and that she had been brutally beaten by this man. They weren't saying, oh no, she's really a sex worker. Like, no, no, that's they really did believe her. But they were worried that in court, it would be hard to convince a jury that this like calm, kind man was this violent, brutal attacker. So they were like, we need more than just. This kind of he said, she said situation. So ultimately, Michael agreed to a reduced sentence

and his case didn't even go before a jury because of that. So he pleaded guilty to sexual assault and it was only a two year prison sentence. That's it. That's it. He beat her almost to death and dumped her on the side of the road. So was he out now?

So there's a little bit of a footnote to this story. Nina was upset, but of course she's kind of unfamiliar with the US justice system. She doesn't know that this is just perfectly normal. No. She felt that there was nothing she could do. She wasn't a citizen. There wasn't much power she held here. But Ken was like, nah, nah, this guy's done it before. He's a serial rapist and I don't let serial rapists get two years and walk out. He's like, absolutely not. He said, he has surely hurt other women before

we are going to nail this guy. So ultimately Michael's DNA was entered into an FBI database, which revealed that, yes, he matched DNA collected in two other rape cases, which took place in New Orleans in 2003, Colorado Springs in 2005. And after that New Orleans attack, there was this composite sketch that had been drawn way back in 2003, and it was pretty spot on for what he looked like.

So Michael then went to trial for multiple assault charges in Colorado. He was sentenced to 24 years to life in prison. Then in 2015, he pleaded guilty to forcible rape in Louisiana and was sentenced to an additional 45 years in prison. And Ena said in an ABC News special that she is just happy that Michael cannot hurt anyone else

in the future. And that's the story of the woman in the suitcase, as some people call it. Or the story of... I was going to applaud your storytelling until you said that. Ina, yeah, Ina Budnitska. And I'm so glad that for, I mean, it's rare that we have a story where there's a survivor at the end, you know, or not, or that... Mm-hmm.

She survives, you know, or not, or that she survives, you know, and, and nobody's killed, but, um, well survived and survived and solved. That's so true. That's so true. Yeah. Diamond in the rough. So I'm well, good storytelling. I love a mystery and I love a solid mystery. And I love these like Sherlock type. I was like, literally search. I was like, well, you just covered that body in room 348, do you think it's too soon? I was like, no, I wanna do it tomorrow.

Give me another locked door mystery. I want my Agatha Christie fix. Yeah. I want more Ken cases, please. I feel like we need to have him on the show or something. We need to do a little mini- That'd be a fun Patreon thing. Wouldn't that be cool? Or him on the show or something. We need to do like a little mini That'd be a fun. What are like a YouTube? interview or something. Oh

That'd be fun unless he's canceled. Please remember my umbrella caveat because I don't really know much about this guy, but It would also be fun until he starts talking about every miss and then he's like this isn't fun. My job's not fun It's terrible and we'd be like right. We do know that. Yeah, sorry Yeah, sorry. Sorry for's not fun. It's terrible. And we'd be like, right, we do know that. Yeah. Sorry. Yeah, sorry. Sorry for who we are. Okay, well, great. Well, speaking of Patreon,

if you would like to hear us continue our ramblings, you can do so by going over to Patreon and we will be doing it after dark. Yeah, after dark, and for what it's worth, by the way, we have really been keeping them usually in the vein of true crime and paranormal. So, you know, it's not necessarily just... Sometimes it's just rambling, but there are a lot of...

We do like little quizzes and stuff like that. Personality quizzes, those are always disappointing. That's a crime. Yeah, and other than that, we've got our tour coming up, our fall tour, so please go check that out. Try to come to a city nearby you. And we've got our book coming out in September. Oh, and we're doing a Talk Shop Live, which is like a live signing where you can order

a signed book. That's happening June 22nd. So if you catch this the day it comes out, that will be Saturday, this coming Saturday. And so we're gonna do that online. It'll be really fun. We're gonna be giving out, I think, like some goodies and some,

answering questions from you guys about the book. So that'll be fun. And yeah, I hope everyone had fun. Happy birthday. Oh, and come see us live. Yeah, come see us live. Happy birthday and next time I see you. Oh, it's about time I heard it.

Thank you. Next time I see you, the three of us can all get together and build Eva's topatries, please. Oh, excellent, and I'll buy us bagels and make sure that they don't get lost on the way. Great, okay, sounds like we all got a plan. Ha ha ha. And.

That's. Why. We. Drink.