And That's Why We Drink - E398 A Pink Panther Ghost and The Great Disappointment
Episode Date: September 22, 2024It's Episode 398 and we're racing to the grave in a coffin! This week Em brings us a local legend from Maine (perfectly timed for our Portland, Maine live show? We definitely meant to do that) with th...e tale of the Tomb of Colonel Jonathan Buck. Then Christine tells us the whackadoo story of the Branch Davidians and the Siege of Mount Carmel. And will we be relieved next week after our first live shows? You'll have to tune in to find out!The Pour Decisions Tour has officially kicked off! Make sure you get your tickets to see our brand new show at: andthatswhywedrink.com/live
Transcript
Discussion (0)
Christine, my friend, my enemy, my lover.
Mine rhymed.
What did you say?
I didn't even hear you.
Yeah, what else is new?
What did you say? My queen. Oh, you. Yeah, what else is new? What did you say?
My queen.
Oh, well yes, of course, my liege. Yes, obviously, yes.
How do you do...
Well...
Well, yeah, okay, well, nevermind, nevermind.
Okay, I don't really know. It's fine.
How do you do? How do you do, partner?
You know, hmm, same thing.
It's crunch time over here with this tour
and we are, really, I think you said it best the other day
that you and I are really tag teaming shifts
because I've been up in,
hey, I got this like creepy little fucking hair.
We're tag teaming shifts because I'm waking up when you're going to bed and back
and I mean where it's getting done as predicted, it always gets done.
But um, we are in our slap happy era.
I think it's outrageous.
I started on one of what M will probably has estimated will be about 15 pages of like things
for me to edit.
And I'm starting, I started on page one yesterday.
I'm on page one today.
It's okay, it's okay.
Got so invested in this one clip that I've,
I mean, I've added music, I've added angles.
That's exactly what I want.
I've lost my damn mind and I have not gotten
anywhere productive.
I've literally not left page one.
That's okay.
I look that's exactly where we were this time last time.
And the dream is that you just get unhinged.
I will handle the logistics.
Once I'm done with my part, I help you with your part.
And here's the thing, this is what I imagine
in a healthy marriage by the way,
just to audition once more for you to finally fall in love with me as predicted by Reddit.
Your queen is listening.
Your liege is listening.
My dream is to just do everything in the background
for you to be your silliest.
That's the dream.
Oh, that's my dream.
So be as silly as you want on page one.
I'll handle the rest when I can get to it.
Oh, OK.
Well, I'm liking the sound of that.
And because it's, you know, already 2 p.m.
when in Rome, I'm going to open this alcoholic beverage.
It's as you should.
It's a hard iced tea. We got the caffeine.
Oh, and I have my iced coffee here to got an iced coffee, got a hard iced tea.
I just need to keep myself awake for the next 16 days.
And we'll be fine. Everything will be great. Excellent. Well, hey, all right. I just chugged
a Xanax. So we're on the same page. Yum. I forgot how gross they taste, but I'm about to get really
refamiliar with a refamiliarized. I suppose. You're not supposed to taste it, really, I think.
When it goes down the hatch, it kind of, there's a linger.
I see.
You know what's the worst tasting?
Zoloft.
If you cut them in half. Really?
Horrid.
Yeah, I've had to raw dog a Xanax a couple times,
just because I didn't have water near me.
Oh my God, and you have to just chew it.
Oh my God.
Don't chew it.
You are not supposed to do that, my friend.
No, no. I'm not supposed to, but I have. Oh my God. Don't chew it. You are not supposed to do that, my friend. No, no.
Not supposed to, but I have.
That's not how that works.
Nope.
You used to spit.
It actually worked very well.
But.
Okay, well let's table that conversation for another day.
Folks, do not chew your Xanax, please.
Ever, please.
Thank you.
It was, there have been, I think one or two times
where it was necessary.
I was about to go on stage and I was like,
I forgot to take it.
That's what it is for.
I know, but then I feel lodged
and I do the thing, you know?
Right, and chewing it makes it feel so much better,
I'm sure.
At least I don't feel it in the throat.
I just, you know, no matter what, it's a bad experience.
But today I had some water, yay.
And other than that, I've got nothing going on.
There's really not much else in my system.
I had a piece of cheese.
So I guess there's cheese and Xanax is in my system.
That's a pretty great combo.
What are you, me?
Like since when do you even eat cheese?
I feel like you sound like me right now.
The baby bells.
We just have them in the fridge.
I know, I didn't know you liked them.
I've been thinking about it ever
since I saw you eating one the other day. And I was like, I didn't know I'm like baby bells. That's have them in the fridge. I know, I didn't know you liked them. I've been thinking about it ever since I saw you eating one the other day and I was like,
I didn't know I'm like baby bells.
It's such a delightful new fact about you.
Well, I like mozzarella.
That's like the, and they just have mozzarella ones.
Oh, so you don't like the gouda ones?
No.
Those are the main ones.
Well, that's great.
I know, I am a loyalist to mozzarella.
I know that makes me like the most bland person on earth, but I stand by her.
I'm not going to lie. Baby bells are not known to be very exotic or fanciful.
So I think you're OK to me.
It's like it's like a like a French cheese.
It's like it's the fanciest I'll get.
So other than string cheese, which is just baby bell, but long.
I see. Yeah, I do have to break it to you though
The ones you're eating are not the mozzarella ones because they was red, right?
Those are the those are the that one was a scrap from Allison's
Because I
Think you like the Gouda ones, which means I can start serving you Gouda. This is my new plan
That's a great theory. I really I really don't like the Gouda ones.
This is this is still the wrapper from last the last one that Allison left.
And yeah, that's I really I really don't like the Gouda ones.
But you can mean a little taste test in the future if you'd like to prove it.
That's fine by me.
Anyway, we're going to do a, that's fine by me. Anyway.
Patreon, we're gonna do a babybel taste test.
If we ever did a video where I ate any cheese
except mozzarella, it would really actually
be such a gross experience for me,
but everyone else might have fun, so that's fine.
No, because I watched you eat a block of cheese one time
and it was really unpleasant.
It was mozzarella, I'm telling you.
I really, I'm such a sucker for that.
I don't know what it is.
She really gets me going
What's your favorite cheese? Oh, I love a common bear. Oh, that's what I didn't see that coming. Okay, great good for you
Okay, well now we know our two favorite cheeses yay, how do we
Feel about not our current state our current mental load. How do you feel about not our current state, our current mental load?
How do you feel about, let's see, oh, ghosts in your house?
Any update from last week?
You know, there is, but the more I think about it, I worry it's just a side effect of my
lunacy.
I love that.
But I did see something this time, which never happens.
Well, not never.
It usually happens up here.
Remember when I'm sitting and I see somebody
and I always think the cat or a person
walks into the bathroom?
And then I'm like, there's nobody,
I always check and there's nobody there.
So I've seen that, but the other day my dad came over
and I was sitting across from him and he was,
I don't know, droning on and on about
his last will and testament or something.
And I was sitting there staring at him
and I glance up in the mirror above his head
and there's something just like going up the stairs.
See ya.
It was like a, I don't even know how to describe it
because it was so fast.
And then I kind of like, of course my dad is still going
on and on about this fucking will.
And I'm like, boring.
And I look above his head again
and I'm like trying to shift around.
Like did I, did something like reflect? Cause I sit there all the time. and I'm like trying to shift around. Like, did something like reflect?
Cause I sit there all the time.
So I'm like, that's weird.
I don't usually notice stuff going up that direction.
Moving all around, trying to see what,
if something reflected.
No, it was just a weird, like, it wasn't even an orb.
It was like pink.
Pink?
Yeah. And it was like a,
it almost looked like two legs. Oh?
It was very, it was very strange.
It was like very distinct and that's why I know I wasn't just kind of like imagining
it.
It was like, I definitely saw it, but it was very distinct and it just kind of went up
the stairs and vanished and I was like, oh no.
Was like the Pink Panther theme song playing?
Actually, yeah, because that is on Leona's playlist.
I'm not even kidding you.
I play that at least three times a week.
So maybe I have summoned him.
That's actually probably the best theory yet.
I think we're gonna have to at least lie to ourselves
when we go to bed, you know?
It's a great song.
Da da da da da.
Oh. Beautiful. You know what two theme songs should have a baby?
Pink Panther and Sex and the City.
I never watched that show.
But have you heard the theme song?
Probably but I don't know.
Oh, it's the Pink Panther basically.
Okay.
They're both like 90s New York City jazz sounding.
Like synth pop.
It's very, I think they would pair well together.
Okay.
Buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh.
That's, apologies for your pink ghost.
You know, but also I'm so glad that finally
there isn't a lady in white. It's a panther in pink.
It's just two legs. Two pink legs, yeah.
Just two pink gams.
I actually, you really freaked me out
with your little ghost story last time,
and now I keep getting paranoid that something
might have followed me home, which so far,
I haven't sensed anything.
Also, ever since the day we moved in,
nothing from the troll hole or our investigation
has set foot in this house,
because I just put it all in a storage unit.
And so nothing that's even attached to our ghost stuff has had a chance to come here.
And I am very aware that the day I bring something like a suitcase from Tor here,
if I sense anything in the house all of a sudden, I'll know exactly where it came from.
Yeah, it's like you're doing the scientific method
like we talked about last time.
You just bring the suitcase in with your hypothesis.
I was thinking more like Whole30,
where it's like you just bring one thing in at a time.
Oh, like an elimination diet, right?
Yeah, sure.
Yeah.
So we'll see exactly what item is haunted of ours eventually when they all end up here
I mean, I could probably tell you that most of them I would I would guess but
Well, the storage unit is probably fucking
Crazy with ghosts these days. Yeah, I'm waiting for the day
I wake up to a news article that it's like, you know burned it to the ground and Robert the doll is in there
You know, I mean Jesus
He is, so.
We're all scared.
Well, anyway, until then,
I've got a spooky story for you, Christine,
and hopefully it takes away some of your anxieties
and you can just, you can melt away,
melt right into the seat into relaxation
while I tell you a local legend.
Oh, fantastic.
Cheers.
Cheers. Let me here actually here's pretty perfect.
Let me cheers you with my Xanax bottle.
Just making sure I didn't give any personal information away.
No.
Great.
Okay.
Just making sure I didn't give them any personal information away. No great. Okay
This is the story of the tomb of Colonel Jonathan Buck
Well now you're making me realize that that goes with everything
It really actually can I go back and start editing our footage again? Cause I feel like I should add that
into the footage somewhere.
Just like tie that into pony somehow.
Now that it's in my head I can't stop.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
We'll just like somehow make a remix.
I don't know.
I love it.
Great.
It totally, cause it does.
It sounds sneaky, but it sounds silly,
but it sounds threatening.
And it's like familiar, you know?
Mm-hmm. mm-hmm.
It's soothing yet adventurous.
How is that possible?
That's just like me.
Oh, yeah, mm-hmm, well.
One or the other, never the same.
Never at the same time, I don't think.
Here is the tomb of Colonel Buck.
So, fun fact, the tomb that the cemetery,
nope, the cemetery that this tomb sits in is next to the
town's only traffic light. Oh, delightful. Which in 2024, hard to come by, didn't know that.
This is in Bucksport, Maine. And Colonel Buck, the guy who is under the tomb, he founded Buck's Port, Maine.
His name's Colonel Buck, Buck's Port.
He founded the town after living, being born and raised in Massachusetts his whole life.
He was born in 1719 and he died in 1798.
And his death year 1798, 1790s.
Let's just say that actually I'm realizing that there's a few different years
that were put there.
But his death year is kind of important later.
So 1790s he dies.
He lived in Massachusetts his whole life.
He gets married.
He has nine kids, Yowza.
Six survive.
And eventually he gets super frustrated
with the local politics of Massachusetts
and his little town and
he decides I don't know why this is like his way to I'm sure there's some sort of
context here but he decides to handle it by opening up his own ship business
shipping ship business yeah that's what I plan to do in November depending on
where things swing yeah like my usual backup plan I'm just swing. Yeah, that's like my usual backup plan. I'm just gonna start building a ship
It does sound like like a 3 a.m. Project to escape from reality
So sure does sure sure sounds like a fixation that I could get behind. Yeah, he's like these politics
They drive me mad. We have to build a boat. It's like, okay
So he he tries to have this business
Like, yeah, I know. So he he tries to have this business.
Lol, he gets denied very quickly by the town.
They're like, no, I don't totally know why, but something about permits.
So he's like, you know what?
Fuck you, Massachusetts.
I'm out of here.
And he heads to Maine,
which I feel like if you're that mad at Massachusetts,
you could probably move a little further, but I guess Maine is good enough.
And he and a team begin surveying new land. I like how he's starting from the fucking ground up. He's
like, you really did me so dirty, not letting me have my shipping business. I have to just start a
whole new fucking town and then we'll see how people feel about my ships. Wow. Yeah. He could
just like fucking walk next door and be like, anyway, this is named after me now. It's like
Why so we start surveying land in Maine and
There's a part that he I guess finds lovely enough probably quiet enough from people
No judges there at the moment and he moves his family there. He builds the very first general store
So I guess the fucking chip thing is out now. Yeah, he builds the first general store. He builds the very first general store. So I guess the fucking ship thing is out now.
He builds the first general store.
He builds the first sawmill.
He builds the first grist mills.
I don't even know what grist is.
And then I guess as an homage to his former
not so much shipping business,
he does actually build the town's first boat.
I guess you can build the town's first anything
when you're the only person there.
So.
Well, I think the reason that probably he waited
is because he had to make a sawmill first.
No.
I'm not joking.
I'm serious.
He had to build the general store
so he could go get hardware supplies for his boat.
Yes, I am totally.
I do know he was relatively near the river.
And so maybe that's why he decided he needed a boat,
in case he needed to like too fast escape again
when his own town betrayed him, I don't totally know.
But fun fact, the site of that first sawmill
is now its own landmark in Buck's Port,
within walking distance of the property
I'm talking about today, the cemetery.
So like it really, he did everything
within walking distance.
He probably- I love that.
He probably stood in a field and did a 360 spin
and went all of this, I guess is mine.
And this is as far as I'm willing to walk anyway.
Yeah, and I don't want to walk any further.
So don't make me.
Yeah, so he founds this land.
He officially names the town, Bucs Town, Bucs-ton.
I'm not gonna know, but it's spelled as if it's Bux-Town.
So Bux-Town. It's originally named Bux-Town Plantation. Yikes. But that's
because when they were surveying the land they ended up, I guess, divvying it up
into six different plots that they called Plantation. So he moved on to
Plantation number one and he named it Buxown plantation. I assume the other ones next to that are named after the other five surveyors who
probably all claimed a chunk. A few years later he ends up fighting in the Revolutionary War. He
comes out as a war hero. There was actually a part that something where during the Revolutionary War,
Buckstown Plantation actually gets totally destroyed.
And despite his severe gout ends up walking 200 miles to his kid's house,
to escape whatever part of the war.
He, he was-
Oh my God, he loves to walk this guy, huh?
You know, it sounds like he hated walking at first
because he was like, everything's going to be walking distance,
but now I'm wondering, is 200 miles walking distance?
I mean, it is for him.
Apparently so.
He's cursed to walk. With gout.
Yeah, the yikes. Ow.
I don't even have gout and I don't want to walk a mile.
200? Fuck that.
So he's a war hero.
And in honor of him, when the area slowly is able to rebuild, they rename it from Buckstown
Plantation to just Buckstown.
They're like, they just decided to shorten it.
When he dies in the 1790s, he is buried at his family's little cemetery that they got
going on.
And it has like a basic stone grave combo. There's
nothing really spectacular about his grave. He's just kind of buried there. But in 1817,
the town is renamed from Buckstown to Buck's Port, which is what it is today.
And this is after he's died, so he's unaware that it becomes Buck's Port. But the irony that he
would be rolling over in his grave for this, renamed it Bucksport one to keep like it in honor of him for Buck
but Bucksport instead of Bucs Town is because they started growing in shipping businesses.
Well that's what I was going to say like I thought he would have wanted to call it Bucksport
because of the boats.
Right but hey I guess he gave up on the boats and then only when he died did the shipping industry
start growing there.
Oh, he gave up on the boats?
He didn't make boats?
It sounds like it.
It sounds like he just kind of lived his life
with a sawmill and his one boat.
Oh, I thought he was making boats eventually.
Okay, he just died and never made a boat.
He just died and then the town decided,
hey, you know what, this area is pretty good for shipping.
Let's grow in that industry and rename ourselves Buxport.
And I have a feeling that he's just going, oh my God.
So I had to create an entire fucking town
because the last one didn't want my shipping business.
Then I die and then this town I created
now has a shipping business.
I feel the opposite.
I feel like he's pulling the strings from beyond.
He's like, you better get those boats in the fucking water,
man, I've been waiting generations for this. That's actually a good point.
Maybe this was all his long con into the afterlife.
It's the plan, yeah.
Well, so anyway, he died in the 1790s.
The town was renamed in the 1810s.
And then in the 1850s, this is almost 60 years after he's died,
his descendants still live in Buck's Port.
There are still people there with the last name Buck.
They know that they're related to him.
And I think they decided that they wanted to give him
a little more of an homage than just his kind of
at the time dinky little grave.
So they decide to give him this big monument
where he's buried.
And it's like this, basically like a massive pillar, like
a column. And it's only a few feet away from his original grave. So technically if you're
going to look at the pillar, you got to look like a couple feet away and that's actually
where he's buried. But the monument is what people care about these days. Because as soon as this tomb or this this pillar was erected people started
noticing something very weird about it. There is a mysterious leg-shaped stain
right in the middle of the stone and it really looks like it looks like a woman's
like knee to foot wearing a boot.
It looks exactly like that.
Do you have a picture for me?
Here you go.
It looks like a leg and a foot.
Okay, I see.
It looks like a stocking on a mantle.
It does, but it looks kind of like a creepy Whoville version
of a stocking on a mantle, Like a little bit like too pointy.
Well, you know every time you say Whoville, you got to do the song.
Nope, it's not time yet.
Don't even try me.
It's not too far away.
You don't want to wetten your whistle and practice a little bit?
I sure don't.
Okay.
Okay.
Well, it's a special time and it deserves its own special occasion.
Okay.
It's very secret.
You know what? I will sing you.
Let's hear it. Da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da We'll see. So there's, okay, so this is the grave now that people see there's this mysterious stain.
It looks like a leg kind of dangling in the middle of the monument.
And many people have tried even wiping the stain away, thinking that they're, you know,
cleaning up the grave.
But no matter what people do, the smudge always comes back and they can't figure out why.
What? So in the 1880s, this is far after he's passed away, but I think this is, oh, this is right
around the time where the monument was erected.
So it's kind of technically news.
In the 1880s, the Philadelphia Inquirer, even though we're in Maine, somehow picks up on
this.
I wonder if someone was visiting Maine
and then went back and wrote for their own paper on this.
But they cover the story of this mysterious stain
showing up on this monument in Maine.
And they use what I have to assume
is incredible artistic license
because before this article came out,
there is like no real documented anything about this.
I think they just decided,
hey, I guess I'm gonna write this whole story
about something in a whole other state
and maybe because it's several states away,
they'll never even know I wrote this.
And there's talk about the reporter
actually waiting around for updates on a different story
and he was just trying to come up with
interesting articles in the meantime.
Yeah, so maybe that's what was-
Oh, to live in a time where there's just
nothing happening ever. You're just so bored with the meantime. Yeah, so it's- Oh, to live in a time where there's just nothing happening ever.
You're just so bored with the news.
But you have to like sensationalize nothing.
Oh, I wish.
So this article comes out very, you know, not backed-
Flowery?
Very flowery, not backed by really any evidence at all about this mysterious leg shape stain
and how it got there. And so this begins the rumored past of the cursed Colonel Buck. The story
went that in his time, and again, remember he died like 60 plus years ago, so there's
nobody to even, he can't defend himself, right? It's the perfect crime. You just say whatever
you want about this person and no one can confirm or deny it
because half the people are dead.
That's perfect, you're right.
So the story goes that Buck was not only the founder,
but he was the town judge.
Apparently he actually was a justice of the peace
at the time, so that's not too far off.
But he was the town judge and during this time,
he ordered maybe many, but one in particular,
a woman to death for witchcraft.
Witchcraft he put her to death.
This is just the story.
This is not the story.
This is the story.
Okay.
We don't know because there's no one to track it.
I see.
So this is his version of this journalist version of events, but we have no proof of
this.
This is what he wrote in the lunch break room while he was waiting for updates on the actual story.
Understood, okay.
So he was a town judge,
he put this woman to death for witchcraft,
and during his time, when he ordered her to death,
moments before she died, she put a curse on him
for what he was up to.
And thus the witch's leg shaped stain has plagued his grave ever since.
So I'll get more into the detail in a second, but long story short, that was the Philadelphia
Inquirer and nobody really paid attention to the article.
One because nobody in Philadelphia gave a shit about something in Maine.
That was probably the main reason.
It just like didn't, they're like, oh, there's this cool little rumor,
what a fun little story, ha ha.
Anyway, eight months later though,
other news outlets, I guess, equally bored,
pick up this story and keep rewriting it.
It's literally like telephone, but in the news.
And so they pick up the first story
from the Philadelphia Inquirer,
and eventually the hometown newspaper of Colonel Buck
hears about this and writes their own version of the story.
Oh my God.
And this is the hometown,
not the hometown that he has set for himself in Maine.
This is not what's born Maine.
Right, the Massachusetts one.
The Massachusetts he so openly was upset by
then that he had to move away.
Oh boy.
And so I don't know if they also had animosity towards him.
I can't imagine why if 60 years have passed,
but anyway, there's still not a lot of fact checking
going on.
And I think this is when the story really took off
because not only was it his hometown paper,
but on the flip side,
there was a lot of people
from this town reading about a cursed man from their town.
I think it-
Right, right.
It's suddenly like local interests, yeah.
Yeah, it's like, oh my God, this guy used to live here.
He's like fucking cursed
and he's got this like haunted grave up in Maine.
So the paper was the Haverhill, Massachusetts?
I think that's right, yeah.
The paper was the Haverhill Gazette and people in Haverhill are now reading about it and they're like, holy shit. Mass. Hover Hill, Massachusetts. It's not. I think that's right. Yeah.
The paper was the Hover Hill Gazette and people, people in Hover Hill are now reading about
it and they're like, holy shit.
And that's when the story really takes off.
And this is when people start paying attention to all and every long a.
Sorry.
Haver Hill.
Yeah.
Haver Hill.
I think.
Oh, okay.
Great.
Okay.
So the paper was the Haver Hill Gazette and people in Haverhill,
which is where he's from, are now invested. And once people got invested in the article,
it really started to blow up and people were paying attention to any and every version
they could find out. People are making up their own versions. It's extensive, some of
the ways that this story has turned itself into its own.
Like each of them feel like a different local legend basically, but the bottom line is that
a man from Haverhill is cursed by a witch and every version that starts kind of pouring
out is a different way that he either killed the witch or a different thing the witch cursed
him with or so like for example the most
clean version of the story is that she's accused of being a witch and he has her hanged then there's
another version where she's accused of being a witch and he burns her at the stake then there's
a version where she's actually a woman he was sleeping with and got pregnant and then his wife
almost found out and when she threatened to tell his wife, he covered it up by sentencing her to death.
Then there's a version where he did this exact same thing,
but the mother is the woman who curses his grave.
So the mother is the witch and then he can.
So now he's always sentencing two people to death. I don't know.
I just really is just like telephone, man. I mean, OK.
I mean, back then, I guess with no social media, no direct wiring of- Fact checking.
Yeah, there's no- By the way,
journalists can kind of say whatever the fuck they want
in the newspaper, so your sources,
your primary sources are pretty flawed.
I mean, I think there was just,
there was no checks or balances to this.
It was just like, oh, I heard this story too.
And I took a reporting job and it's the 1880s.
How about I tell what I remember of it?
And then it just got totally fucked up again.
So another version is that he actually has the town
help him kill her by strapping her to her own front door
and setting the house on fire.
Okay, like I feel, okay, all right, everybody.
All right, everybody.
That's the kid at the playground
who just wanted the most attention and was like, no.
It's like, my dad helped set her on fire.
Exactly, my aunt knows him, yeah.
I swear to God, whoever made that up just wanted attention.
And also, like, don't you think that
would have at least made family history?
Like, don't you think the family
would at least remember this?
Yeah, well, there, speaking of the witch's family, there's another version
where she had a son. In some of the versions, he was the illegitimate child
of Colonel Buck and the witch and then they secretly raised this kid outside of
his other six kids. Of course. And then he got her pregnant for a second time and
didn't want to deal with the second illegitimate child so he only killed the
second illegitimate child. I mean it, it's out of control. A different
version is that the son of this accused witch, whether or not he is related to Colonel Buck,
he apparently was born with some like, some physical, I don't know what the right word
is here so I'm sorry if this isn't PC, but like deformities?
There's like something, there was a condition going on that people would be able to spot.
And basically, that's like a main part of the story that her son is like cast away from
society because ugh, someone who looks different. And he ends up witnessing his mom being burned to death.
Her leg falls off from the fire,
like she's being burned and her body is now falling apart.
He grabs her leg, trying to save her,
and then beats Colonel Buck with the leg.
Okay.
And then with the leg runs away, never to be seen again.
And some additional versions of the story
are that with the blood from her leg,
he painted her leg with her blood onto his grave,
even though he's alive, but on Colonel Buck's monument,
while Colonel Buck is alive, that doesn't exist.
The monument has not been built yet
It has not been built. It won't be built for another 60 70 80 years, but the monument exists and the
apparently the the gross son
Takes his mother's leg and paints with the blood all over the grave
I think the leg on it like what are you talking about people?
It makes I'm telling you the the stories range from fucking bizarre to bizarro.
Like, he would have at least painted
a middle finger or something.
Like, why would he paint?
Or like, fuck you, yeah.
Anyway, so when I tell you there's no rhyme or reason to it,
that's what I'm saying.
So anyhow, every version similarly describes
the woman threatening to either dance on his grave,
hence the leg appearing on the monument,
and or saying some version of this quote. Even the quotes were so fucked up. Like the way that I looked at, how many sources did I use for this?
15. I used 15 sources for this. I feel like every single one of them,
none of them were similar direct quotes. They were all kind of the same,
but the words had definitely been moved around and stuff like that.
So the none of this is even a direct quote, which is why I have to say
all the versions had something similar to this.
And this is what I will read to you. And while talk about flowery,
if someone made this up, which it sounds like they did,
cause I can't believe the story is true,
but someone took the time to write this as if they were a witch
cursing somebody. Let's remember that. Okay, but just imagine the idea that somebody,
like if this is real, that somebody actually spoke this way and like came up with this direct quote.
I think that's even wilder. Power move. It's even wilder because if this is the last thing
you're going to say, she really said, okay, if I'm about to die, I'm going to make my last words really fucking poetic.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Either way, worth the listen.
So here I go.
This is what I'm going to be her.
Jonathan Buck, listen to these words.
The last my tongue shall utter.
It is the spirit of the only true and living God which bids me speak them to you.
You will soon die
Over your grave they will erect a stone that all may know where the bones of the mighty Jonathan buck are crumbling to dust
But listen listen all ye people
Tell it to your children and your children's children
Upon that stone will appear the imprint of my foot and for all time long long after your accursed race has perished from the earth, the people will come far and near
and the unborn generations will say,
there lies the man who murdered a woman.
So long shall my curse be upon thee
and my sign upon thy tombstone.
Remember well, Jonathan Buck, remember well.
I just pictured the light guy at the gallows like,
okay, are you done?
Is that her?
I just imagined the reporter frantically writing
in his little notepad.
Yee, did he say thou or doth?
Hold on, behest, what?
And I mean, like you said,
if this really was something that a person said
as she was about to die,
I would never have the clarity to say something
that beautiful if that's the last thing
I'm ever gonna say, you know
So
Anyway, that's what she allegedly says maybe which like feels so on the nose by the way of like
My leg will appear on your tomb like okay. Why like for what?
Which I guess I'm trying to justify it
in this reporter's mind of how it could be believable.
Not everyone knew what was going on
in the world of witchcraft.
And if you did know, if you did understand
the symbolism to that, then you should go to be burnt
at the stake because you're a fucking witch.
Like, I don't know.
Like, so maybe he was banking on people
not even wanting to...
Wanting to question...
Question.
Okay.
So rumors say that ever since his death, that leg appears on his grave and it's a sign
that Buck shall always bear the mark of his actions
of murdering an innocent woman.
Even though maybe not so innocent
if the curse you put on him actually worked, but okay.
Ever since, the stain has always stayed
even when people try cleaning it off
and allegedly the monument has even been replaced twice,
and yet the stain still appears exactly as it does.
Okay, that's weird.
I was gonna say, it looks like maybe some lichen
or something, I'm gonna pull it up.
Okay, wow, okay, so yeah, I was gonna say,
it looks kinda like moss or lichen or something,
but has it actually been replaced?
Cause that's so expensive.
No.
Oh, I was like, cause then I might be convinced.
Okay.
No, the story goes that it's been replaced at least twice,
but apparently local stone cutters have said like,
we have not ever replaced that.
Again, they would know.
Like why is nobody asking them?
And also there would be in today's world where this is a... First of all, let's remember,
this town has one fucking traffic light.
Like, everybody knows what's going on
on every inch of this town.
Uh-huh.
Like, my dad lives in a town where I...
When we got a grocery store,
we had a parade for the grocery.
Like, it's a big deal when anything happens
when nothing's going on in your town.
Right.
So I feel like if stone cutters were making a new monument
to replace the haunted cursed one,
the town would have heard about it.
Over and over again, yeah, yeah.
There would be news, like, you know.
There would be a plaque or something.
Something, so, and they have said,
no, we never replaced it.
Anyway, the rumors go that it's been replaced, we've done everything we can, we never replaced it. Anyway, the the rumors go that it's been replaced.
We've done everything we can. We've cleaned it.
It always reappears.
As time has passed, the story constantly recycles itself.
And the monument is now known as one of the most common legends of Bucksport.
And realistically now, if we were to debunk it, which every source does.
So this isn't just me trying to be like a negative Nellie.
Every every source has been like,
let me not look like that first reporter
and actually like try to be unbiased here.
Nowadays people can leave comments and fact check things.
Exactly.
So now the story is most likely,
and by most likely, I mean probably 99.99% not true.
In fact, a plaque has been put up next to the monument
with facts to debunk the story.
Okay, because descendants are probably like,
can you stop calling grandpa Paul a murderer?
Like, what is wrong with you?
Like, why did that have to be the angle?
Why couldn't you have said he just had a foot fetish
or something, like something like not incriminating, you know?
I want you to remember that foot finish comment, Christine.
I assure you, I will never forget it.
So, and funny you say that too, for them to be like,
why would that be grandpa's legacy?
That man just wanted to build a fucking ship
and have no one complain.
He didn't wanna walk anymore.
Yeah.
And look what happened.
Honestly, if all your descendants
are gonna put up a monument
and it doesn't have a ship base,
maybe they actually, hmm, maybe we need to put up a new monument.
Wait a minute.
Maybe that man deserves to be buried in a ship.
Wait a minute.
Oh, first of all, a ton of fireworks just started. That was not intentional.
I wish that I could have turned up the mic for that.
You are a witch.
That was actually incredible.
You're the one that got away.
Oh, man!
My foot accurseth thou.
No.
I seriously have a point.
He hated to walk.
He hated to walk.
There's a foot on his grave.
Now that is true hell.
That's like someone putting a treadmill on my grave.
I'm like, oh my God.
You like couldn't think of anything worse.
Or if you just actually,
if someone sketched a room that had no air conditioning in it. Oh my God. The worst thing think of anything worse. Or if you just actually, if someone sketched a room
that had no air conditioning in it, oh my God.
The worst thing you could put on my mind.
What, like with an arrow that says like,
there's no central air in here.
It just shows, it's just a broken window unit, you know?
An unplugged window unit.
Yeah, I'm just thinking what could a foot mean?
And then I'm like, wait, he had gout too.
Mm-hmm. Interesting, actually that's a great point. I hadn't thought of that.
Thanks. Well done.
Well, so, yeah, like I said, there's a plaque where they literally try to state
reasons why the story is not true.
It's so sad.
And because you said, like, why would that be his legacy?
Literally on the plaque, it calls him.
It says, Colonel Buck was an honorable
industrious man. Like it's like, please leave him alone. He just wanted to make a living for his
family. It's like he literally was a random guy who would have never set this up. He's probably
rolling in his grave that this is his legacy. Like, I mean, if you're not someone who like is,
you know, famously interested in the paranormal or anything, all you want to do is build some
fucking boats
and like have some land for your family.
And like didn't believe in witchcraft.
None of that just had nothing to do with it.
Yeah, and all of a sudden now like you're known
for having this monument with this crazy story.
He has to be going like, what the fuck?
And all because his family just wanted to like honor him.
Yes.
And then it just went spiraled out of control.
It just happened to be like,
they probably just got like a cheap slab.
I don't know.
Like it was just like something funky about it.
For sure, for sure.
They must've messed something up.
So some of the reasons,
this is both reasons, the plaque lists
as to why the story can't be true.
And also this is a list of the reasons
that reporters have now written in today's world
about why it can't be true.
Is that Colonel Buck never,
he was a justice of the peace, but he never had the authority to try a person, let alone
kill them or execute them or put them to death. Colonel Buck was also born in 1719, which
even though it seems like forever away, it was long after the last witch was ever executed
in America. The last new in census is Maine, fun fact,
the last of the New England witches or the witch trials
was Salem in 1692.
So that was 20 years.
I believe there was one later, but not in New England.
Like I think it was, yeah, okay.
And so at least for New England,
the last witch trial was 20 years before he was born.
So, so he was not, this was not an era where it was normal
for him to be doing something like that
if he was even doing that.
Plus there is no record at all in US history
of anyone being executed for witchcraft in Maine.
So he certainly wasn't doing it.
And if he was, there would be a record of him being the first
especially in a town where not much is going on. He would have,
it would have been in the paper. And of the witches who were killed in New
England, none of them were burned alive. They were all either pressed or hanged.
Cool.
So the story of her being strapped to her own house and set on fire,
which sounds like the most insane thing in the entire world.
Kel Sopree is not actually true.
And the last important thing to note, because remember I said,
it's important to remember when he died is that, um,
the story goes that ever since he died, he's been cursed, but,
because the witch died and then years later he died. And the thought is, well,
we know now that he's dead, he's being cursed by this witch, but he died.
And then 60 years later was this monument erected and only then
Did a stain show up and therefore a story got created about this witch. Right, it's backwards. Yeah
Yeah
So it's not like he was cursed the moment he died
He was cursed 60 years later when people saw a foot on a monument and people were wondering what that was about
So yeah, yeah, that doesn't add up
Nobody ever knew him as an executioner of witches
in his life or 60 years after his death.
It was much later that the story got created.
It was generations after.
And when people say like, well, okay, well,
what the fuck is this stain then?
Most people, probably the same stone cutters
they asked about the last thing,
they all say that the stain is probably just a it's a very
common thing where there's additional iron and a piece of the slab and you
can't wipe it away but when it oxidizes it reappears on the surface. Oh okay that
explains it. So people this is like I like okay fine so then so then they
started realizing that they spotted another stain on the monument
in the shape of a sideways heart.
And people started spilling that rumor, spreading that rumor that, oh, there's a sideways heart.
That must mean that he's actually in, was in love with the witch or that he was in two
feet.
Oh yeah, see, I told you. Your super little foot fetish story. the witch or that he was in two feet.
Oh yeah, see I told you.
With your little, your super little foot fetish story.
I told you.
I mean, like, and I think about like a slab of concrete
or like marble countertops or something.
And I'm like, you could find anything
if you look hard enough in the little dots, you know, so.
Have I ever shown you, I have this thing in my shower.
I cannot believe I've never talked about this
on the podcast. There's this design in my shower I cannot believe I've never talked about this on the podcast
There's this design in my shower like right where you stand while I'm washing my hair at eye level
That looks to me like the devil like with horns like a goat a goat demon
And I used to like try and avoid looking at it
like it really used to freak me out and now I'm like I always say hi to him now, but I should I'm gonna send a
photo because like I never I've never taken a photo of it
and I cannot unsee it, you know what I mean?
But that also, I feel like is more detailed
than a sideways heart.
I feel like I could find that in a slab of marble
or something.
I'm sure, I think it only takes one person's safe.
That kind of looks like a sideways heart
and then everyone knows it.
But I like how as soon as they probably put this plaque up
being like, the foot thing is not real,
everyone was like, but have you seen the heart?
Like, there has to be something going on with this damn body.
But he's like, and this poor man buried underneath it all
is probably like, Jesus Christ, it's a slab of concrete.
Like, can everyone leave me alone?
Just tear it down, leave me alone. Yeah, he's probably like, thanks grandchildren, but honestly a slab of concrete. Like, can everyone leave me alone? Just tear it down, leave me alone.
Yeah, he's probably like, thanks grandchildren,
but honestly, you've done a lot more damage
than you planned to.
Can you just, can I just have my dinky little gravestone
again and everyone leave me alone?
Let's just take it then.
I'm surprised, you know, for the people who like,
if there's like a particularly famous gravestone,
people will leave things there.
I'm surprised people don't like leave shoes or something
or like witchcraft pieces. Like, I don't know, I feel like someone would leave
something there or like sneak in at night and do a Ouija board session next to it.
But I didn't see anything about that. In fact, I think there's a fence around it,
probably because people were doing that. So anyway, either way, this tomb has become a
tourist attraction. Besides, I would be more interested in the very first
and only traffic light, but some people are really into
this tour instead.
I know, you and I would be like across the street,
like, what are those people looking at?
I'd literally buy a sandwich and then sit out in the road
and watch it go from red to green and I'd go, woo!
Yeah, I would be so excited.
We'd be like, Eva, run through.
This is how I know something's going on
that a therapist needs to diagnose.
I'm like, the on that a therapist needs to diagnose.
The fact that I could become a stepdad into trains when it comes to the only traffic light around, I would really go nuts with that. I'm the sucker for the only something.
I would wear red, yellow, green. There'd be a theme, obviously. It would be a great time.
And because this became a tourist attraction and people wanted to see the stain for themselves,
the legend continued.
It has inspired books in town.
It has inspired souvenirs.
And this really teeters on favorite fun facts for me
in the same realm as like Dennis the Cat from,
I think it was the Idaho penitentiary.
As obsessed as I am with Dennis the Cat Day,
people have become so enamored with this witch-cursed monument
that Bucksport, Maine, every year,
they have this Halloween festival
where they change the town's name for one day,
and they change it from Bucksport to Ghostport.
And at Ghostport, they have an annual
Jonathan Bucks Race to the Grave coffin race.
And according to one newspaper, this is a quote from them
about, because obviously I looked it up,
I was like, what in the fuck
is a Race to the Grave coffin race?
The winner of the coffin race receives a check of $500
written to the charity or nonprofit of their choosing.
Motor, and I guess it's essentially a soapbox derby kind of thing
where you build a coffin and a person has to be in it
and you race to the monument, but you don't go downhill.
People just actually, it's kind of more like,
it's like if a soapbox derby and a chariot race had a baby.
So it's, someone has to be in the soapbox,
but someone, you're pushing it
instead of letting the downhill motion drag you.
It's not like a go-kart.
There's no like motor or anything.
It's just-
Well, because the next quote I'm gonna say
from this newspaper article is,
motorized coffins are not allowed.
Thus each coffin must have four men or women teams
pushing it down Main Street.
Each coffin must also have a Jonathan riding in the casket.
Shut the fuck up.
Here, you be the dead guy.
You sit in here.
All Jonathan's must wear a helmet during the coffin race
and all participants must be 16 or older, including Jonathan.
Oh my God, what the fuck?
So if you're ever in in Bucksport, Maine in October,
you just might be able to catch the Jonathan Buck race to the grave,
coffin race to the grave, coffin race.
I see your main shirt, Em. I see you're wearing a main shirt right now.
I am wearing a main shirt. I didn't even mean to do that.
Oh, I thought you did that intentionally.
No, that's just meant to be that maybe I need to be
a Jonathan in a coffin.
Would you want to be the Jonathan?
Obviously. Who wouldn't?
Oh, hmm. Do I want to run or not?
Hmm.
Also, that feels extra mean since he hated a wall.
But I guess it's like in honor of him,
he gets to sit down while everyone else has to run. That's true. That's true. I think it would be lovely if someone
built their coffin to also kind of give like a ship vibe. A ship? Yeah, absolutely. I bet people
do. Yeah. Especially if that's the town's whole thing. Anyway, I hope I would love to know who has
participated in this. Yes. If you have, can you send, like tag us in a photo
or like send us if you, if anybody has any.
I would love to know what your coffin looked like
because people like decorated
and make a whole thing of it.
And it's, I mean, I grew up in a town,
they don't do it anymore, which is like so sad.
It's kind of like a showing of like how times are changing.
But I grew up in a town where it was like a big deal
to be a part of the Soapbox Derby.
And so I think if someone told me there's a Soapbox Derby,
put their coffins, I would have lost my fucking mind.
It's like the goth Soapbox Derby.
Yeah, totally, totally.
So anyway, that is the tomb of Colonel Jonathan Buck.
Wow. Well, you know what?
Never a dull moment on this damn podcast.
I could not have begun to guess
what your topic was gonna be today.
And the fact that-
Or how it would end.
Or how it would end, certainly not.
And the fact that my foot fetish comment
got a hold that thought is just next level exciting for me.
You're really on your game today.
I was, you said, every time you said something,
I was like, well, hang on a second now. Oh
And then I started some fireworks
I don't even know how I did that but with your finger as soon as you pointed it's like you conjured them
You know cuz I don't get the cool
I don't get all the cool designs on my computer like you do with all the like fireworks and all stuff
So I have to conjure it myself by hand DIY, you know, yeah, you're like an old-school witch
It's like I had to do with with my fucking brain and my hands.
That's crazy.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And I'll put my leg on your grave too.
If you had to have a weird shape on your monument
that is said to haunt you for life.
Probably a butt or something, I don't know.
That's pretty good.
Like just something silly, I don't know.
What would you do?
I don't know, I'm you do? I don't know.
I'm trying to think of what would draw people in because I would, if I'm ever someone who
is buried, I don't think I will be.
If I were to be buried though, the only reason I would agree to that in advance is if I knew
people were going to be coming to my grave and throwing a party all the time.
I mean, you can still have a grave just because you're not buried.
No, but I need something to draw more people in so like I would need something to be
I know but what I'm saying is you don't have to physically be buried there
Like you can still have a month like a gravestone like a monument
That's true. Like if you're cremated
That's true. I don't know. I guess I hadn't thought about that way
But if I had to have something on a grave, I would like it to be something that draws people in.
So something weird, like, I don't know.
A pizza pie?
An unplugged air conditioner?
I don't know.
Yeah, something like, something with food or drinks
that way people wanna bring that to me
and then like all hang out there.
Like something fun.
Oh, fantastic.
Yeah, I would put probably a middle finger
just to make fun of, like just to be like
hee hee.
And that would get a lot of attention too, so it actually would work out very well.
I'm saying, I think I would have a great time if I put a middle finger on my coffin.
Okay, so, Amethy, I have a story for you today.
Talk about Whackadoo, okay?
This is a Whackadoo story, and this is one that I originally,
I've heard, I've known about for a long time,
but I heard about in depth on Sinisterhood,
and they did a, I believe it was a multi-parter,
but either way, it was very thorough.
And I'm gonna cover the Branch Davidians today.
Do you know this story?
Nope.
Okay, I used to hear it and be like,
this sounds so boring,
just because it's just words
that I don't understand.
But it's not.
Okay.
In the mid 1800s, a Baptist man named William Miller declared that he had done some calculations
using his calculator, aka the Bible.
And who needs an abacus when you've got a Bible?
Who needs math and reason?
Yep.
Okay.
No, no, no.
No, not I.
He had done his calculations using the Bible and he determined that the apocalypse would
happen one day between March 1843 and March 1844.
So he knew the exact year.
He was like, I know when it's happening, I got it.
My calculations are correct.
I like how in that way the Bible is also a farmer's almanac of like,
yeah, that's so true. Like oddly on point. Don't bear, don't, don't,
don't plant too many corn stalks this year.
I clearly don't read the farmer's almanac. I probably should. Um, so anyway,
he said that on that day when the apocalypse was to take place,
Jesus Christ would return to earth to, you know,
usher in the end of the world, as he does.
And because I guess it was the 1800s, I don't know,
William amassed a huge following,
many of whom gave away everything
in preparation for the rapture.
And they believed, you know, they follow this guy.
I mean, it's tale as old as time.
If they follow this guy, they'll ascend to heaven,
unlike all the sinners and non-believers, you know? Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.
But wouldn't you know it, Mark 1844 came and went.
Can you imagine every day that gets closer
to, like, his end of his time range?
He's like, fuck, fuck.
He's like, I'm kind of, hmm, look over there,
look over there.
Yeah, I mean, it's a beautiful thing to watch people
with a cult-like following where they make massive predictions. Just, like, stumble. I mean, it's a beautiful thing to watch people
with a cult-like following
where they make massive predictions.
Just like stumble.
I love to watch them fail.
I love to watch them fail.
Yeah, it's just a beautiful thing.
Cause it's like, we know you're going.
We all know, you know, except you, I guess.
Or do you think he believed it?
Like, I never understand if these people
like really think this is true
or they're just like trying to fuck with everyone.
I mean, I obviously don't know. I,
I always assume that they start out believing in things and then because
it like takes on a,
it'd be like because they have a following or something. It's some,
something like sets off their ego in a new way where it's like, well,
I've,
I've either been right up to now
or I've been cunning enough up until now
that other people believe it
and therefore maybe it is true.
Like there's some sort of confirmation bias.
Yeah, exactly.
Like even if I'm wrong,
why would I have all these followers
if I weren't like doing something right, you know,
or like if I weren't a genius or whatever, a prophet.
I also wonder if maybe their predictions early on
are things you can actually kind of predict.
And so I think every time they make a prediction,
it's just one step a little further
out of the realm of reality.
And then eventually even they're surprised
when their prediction isn't accurate
because all the other ones before were.
Like what?
I don't know, I feel like you could project to like, it's going to rain.
It's like, because you saw the forecast and no one else did.
Like I feel like they-
You read the farmer's almanac.
Yeah.
Like I feel like they pick something that's like kind of like,
there's at least a 50-50 chance you could be right.
And then as time goes on, it's like a 1% chance.
And like you're making bigger and bigger claims because-
I mean, I think that would be a smart thing to do.
I don't necessarily think that.
I mean, I don't know.
This guy for sure did not start small. He just said, I think that would be a smart thing to do. I don't necessarily think that, I mean, I don't know,
this guy for sure did not start small.
He just said, I figured out what day Jesus is coming
and everyone was like, okay.
That's true.
Yeah, I don't know.
So I don't know where that came from,
but it doesn't look like he built it up.
He just kind of jumped out.
And I mean, there's still people today.
There was someone, remember when the recent eclipse happened,
someone from my past who is heavily involved in religion was
like, are you nervous? Yeah. And I was like, no. I was like, why on earth would I care?
I'm nervous because I was gonna stare right at it. I knew I was. I knew I would
look at it. I can't help myself. Well, she said something like, I mean, the Bible,
it's like pretty accurate like on how like on the things that are, you know,
it's predicted and pretty important things. I was like on how like on the things that are you know, it's pretty important things
I was like, what about all the other eclipses and she was like, well, I don't know. I was like, okay
So lost to their damn minds. I tell you. Yeah, it's just it's so maybe he really thought he was onto something and I
Think your first theory is right that like he probably believed it to an extent and then when everyone started following him
It was either too late to turn back
or he just like confirmation bias his way into like,
well, I mean, look, I have all these followers.
Like I must be some sort of prophet if I have a following,
you know, and then like, you don't wanna give that up.
Yeah, I don't know what the thing is
that gives them like such an air.
Like I can't tell if they really,
I mean, you already said it,
but I really don't know if they believe it
or maybe they think if they.
I think it also depends.
I think there are some cults where cult leaders
are like in it just to fuck, like just to be a cult leader.
Yeah, exactly.
And I think sometimes it almost,
a narcissist tries to be some sort of prophet like character
and then it like spirals into,
no, you're just a clean old cult leader.
You know what cult would get me? And not a specific a specific cult but like if there was a cult leader out there
who if
You really wanted to swindle some people if you started from the beginning and said I don't know if I'm right like I think
This is gonna happen. I'm not sure because then you've already
Admitted defeat in case it doesn't work out and I would have I'd totally eat that up
I'd be like man this this person's like really just trying. Like I could see that, but I don't understand the people
who latch onto someone who's so bold with it so quickly about selfish things.
So you would give up your whole livelihood just for somebody who's like, I don't know.
No, I could see someone who is, I don't know, I guess the right way to say it is I would be
I don't know, I guess the right way to say it is, I would be much more easily swindled to believe someone,
not like join a cult immediately,
but if someone had some kind of reason behind it
and then it didn't work.
Like I think I'd see them as more human
instead of like someone I'm following into.
You don't want to, you don't want to,
they don't want you to see them as human.
I think that's why there's so few of them like that.
But I could see someone having an idea
and then me being open-minded to it
and then slowly getting sucked in.
Which is kind of, well, nevermind.
I was gonna conflate it to QAnon,
but that's kind of a messy analogy there.
But anyway.
Anyway, no, I don't, in this specific story,
I really do struggle with understanding
when someone just comes out really quick
with an outlandish idea versus like kind of a warm one
to kind of ease you in.
Because people like to feel secure.
People like to feel like someone knows something
and they can just like believe them and follow them
and like feel in control, like somebody's helping,
you know what I mean?
Like people like to have that security.
And so when he's saying like,
oh, don't worry if you join me,
like you'll make it into heaven.
And I know exactly the year, don't even worry.
They're like, okay, great.
And so yeah, March, 1844 comes and it goes.
And as Saoirse wrote here, notably lacking in apocalypse.
Yeah, what does it do?
Does it have like what he said afterwards to like counter it?
Oh, he sure did, oh, he sure did.
He said his math was off just a little.
Well, when there was no math involved, I guess that makes sense.
When it was a random calculation from not a calculator.
Well, he said that he had redone the math and he determined that the world actually
would end for real this time
in October of 1844.
He had done the math wrong the first time.
So when the world didn't end in October,
I know, shocking, most of William's followers gave up
and they were like, forget it.
And apparently their collective disillusionment
came to be known as the great disappointment.
Which like makes me laugh so much.
Can you imagine if that's your legacy?
You're a prophet and like your legacy
is the great disappointment.
It's so sad.
The great disappointment I feel like is something
I'd name myself when things don't go well.
I know, with the capital T G D baby.
At least it's like private and in my own head
and I get over it.
I can't imagine historically being known for that.
That's crazy. That's why you don't start a cult, you know, it's just like you're in danger of your ego getting
just blasted to pieces. Um, yeah. So anyway, a small sect of Williams followers were like,
we're not disappointed. We'll follow you. And so they continue to meet and reevaluate
Williams prophecies and just, I assume, do the long division in the Bible to figure out how the hell the world's going to end.
Meanwhile, there is a woman named Ellen G. White, and she herself was also considered
a prophet. It's around the same time, a couple of decades later. So she led a sect and then
founded the Seventh Day Adventist Church in 1863.
I see. Okay.
So the Seventh Day refers to the seventh day of the week, Saturday, which
seventh day Adventists recognize as the Sabbath, unlike other Christian denominations, which
of course we know observe Sunday as a Sabbath. And Advent refers to Christ's impending return
to earth. And so seventh day Adventists believe that no human can accurately predict the date
of Christ's second coming,
but that William was correct that there will be a second coming.
Just, he just doesn't know when.
So, Ellen was basically like, listen, this guy, his formula is not going to work.
There's no formula, but he is right that it's coming.
So you got to listen to him in some regards.
You know what I mean?
I wonder if they were like kind of frenemies
where like, he was like,
Ellen is stepping on my toes creating her own little,
her own little group of people.
It feels like condescending, right?
She's like, oh, he's sort of right.
It's like, hey Ellen.
It feels almost like an early,
like a team up collab where it's like,
I'm gonna create my thing over here,
but I'll give you a shout out
and people can still know of your version.
And then your version gets bigger,
like their version gets bigger
and you're like, well, fuck me.
Yeah.
My own followers are going over there.
Yeah.
So in 1844, we entered, in case you forgot,
we entered the final phase of judgment.
I don't know if you missed that or not, but we did.
Oh, thank God.
No, are we scared or are we excited about this?
It depends because during this time,
God is investigating the earth
and every person in existence.
So I would say you and I were screwed.
To tall order.
Yeah.
So we're screwed for sure.
Yeah, so God is investigating the earth in 1844
and he's like, yikes.
He was like, this is exactly the year I've always had it on my calendar for.
William was right, Ellen.
And he is investigating every person as well.
So not, this is a quote, not one person will experience a fate they did not choose.
Okay.
All right.
Okay.
Relax. Sure thing. Sure thing. When Christ finishes his
investigative work, he will raise all of his faithful believers, living and dead, and bring
them to paradise for 1000 years. Meanwhile, all of the sinners who didn't follow Christ will die.
And then- So wait, so nobody is in paradise yet?
Like as of 1844, not a single person has ever been in heaven.
No, because Jesus hasn't come back yet to take us there.
So they're all just like in purgatory or they're all ghosts just waiting.
So heaven had, it was population zero in the 1840s.
That's interesting.
But I think that's a lot of people's belief that we enter heaven even after death, that
we enter heaven when Christ returns, not yet.
I think that's a very-
I think, cause I always hear-
I mean, correct me if I'm wrong folks,
but I'm pretty sure that's a fundamental-
I feel like I always hear when someone dies,
it's like, oh, they went to go be with the Lord in heaven.
It's like, oh, well, so you are in heaven.
No, I mean- I don't know.
I don't know.
I do, I know for sure, for facts.
I have facts and I did a formula out of the farmer's
almanac and I know exactly what I'm doing.
Actually I have to subtract something
and then I'll be able to figure it out.
Don't you dare.
Okay.
Don't you dare challenge my math, my exquisite formula.
Okay, so anyway, anybody who followed Jesus
till they'll go to heaven for a thousand years,
but only a thousand years,
because when a thousand years pass,
the sinners will rise again.
Now this sounds like fun.
This is like finally the sinners get a chance
back in the spotlight.
Season finale material.
I do, so after a thousand years,
like was then what you just,
like what about the people who?
Oh, oh, oh, don't worry.
Okay, yeah.
When a thousand years pass,
the sinners will rise again to fight alongside Satan
in a battle against God.
So it's like a battle against good and evil
is gonna happen and everybody in heaven
is gonna be fighting on the side of God.
And we're, I say we're our sinner,
the sinners are gonna be fighting.
Wait, I know what side I'm fighting for.
Oh my God, I see that guy in the shower,
that devil thing.
I'm like, oh no, it's true.
He's preparing you.
Well, so that means, I mean, then I would take it as,
so for a thousand years,
heaven is actually like a military boot camp
to make sure that you.
Yeah, they're just like having you run obstacle courses.
That sounds terrible, bring me to hell, please.
That sounds like the opposite of heaven.
But I mean, I imagine.
Army training?
I don't think so.
If God wants his soldiers to be strong and mighty
in the Lord against Satan,
then wouldn't you spend every waking second
of a thousand years to make sure that you're prepared?
But here's what I'll say.
It's already written in prophecy that good will win
So then why are we even having the fucking battle? Okay. Okay. Well, welcome to religion, Amethy. I don't know
So if God says oh we win can't everyone just go great. Okay. Well, then why do we even have to do it?
Yeah, that sounds really hard. No, it sounds like a lot of work. Like the plot's already been solidified, yeah?
Also we have God on our side who can do everything.
So like, why don't you actually just decide for us
that we don't have to have this battle at all?
Why even go there, you know?
But it's just like for the drama.
Sounds like he wants the drama.
He just wants to watch a really good season finale.
I get it, it's okay.
He just wants to watch the world burn, don't we all?
Okay, so God will then cleanse the earth of Satan, sin,
and sinners with righteous fire, restoring earth to paradise. And now God will now live on
earth with his followers for eternity.
Couldn't he, since he is all powerful, couldn't he just do that right now and
then come live with us?
No, because that's not the prophecy.
So I guess he has to wait a little longer.
Did you not hear me and hear me say in a thousand years,
there will be a great battle
and then God will burn everybody to the ground
and then I guess like walk on our bones
and like live happily ever after.
I don't know, it seems very brutal.
He gets to go,
oh, the bones of people I created,
I'm so glad I'm walking all over them.
Those dirty centers that I created.
I mean, glad I'm walking all over them. Those dirty sinners that I created.
Oh.
I mean, so I guess, I mean, good luck being on earth
in a thousand years, everybody who wants to be in heaven.
I'm sure that'll end really well for you.
Anyway, so that's the plan, right?
That's what they believe.
So in 1918, a man named Victor T. Huteff
joined at the Seventh Day Adventist Church.
And within a few years of his conversion,
he began advocating for major reform.
He believed the...
So at first you're like, oh, okay, good.
He has a mind of reason, a voice of reason here, finally.
Well what he told everybody is that the Seventh-day Adventists needed to distill their beliefs
into an even purer Christian sect because they were accepting way too much sinful behavior
and they needed to shape up quick.
Oh my God, okay.
Cause Jesus is never gonna come
if they're acting so sinful, you know.
Right, even though like he could
because he can do anything.
Right, but he's not going to
cause he's petty like that, you know.
Okay, sure, I guess so.
And so at least we can understand that.
That's where we all connect.
I do know about pettiness.
I did inherit that from God.
That's where Satan and God kind of shake hands, and they're like, all right, we'll share this
one.
In the Venn diagram, just attitude is in the middle.
Attitude.
Yes, precisely.
So he, this guy, Victor, wrote all these teachings in a series of publications
that he named the shepherd's rod.
No homo.
And so, I couldn't help myself.
I'm so sorry.
I'm for sure going to burn in hell.
Okay.
The Seventh-day Adventist Church
ultimately rejected Victor and his teachings.
So in the mid 1930s, he and his roughly 30 followers
separated from the Seventh-day Adventists and moved
to Mount Carmel, which was a farm in Waco, Texas. So this sect came to be known as the
Davidian Seventh-day Adventists in reference to King David from the Bible. And so the Davidians
isolated themselves from society in order to avoid its temptations because their leader
was like, oh, you're all way too sinful.
If you want God to come, we got to just remove anything negative or tempting or sinful from
our lives.
So they grew their own food.
They made their own clothes.
They like relied very like hyper localized relied on each other in all things.
Their commune survived the Great Depression and then afterward like began to continue
growing.
And eventually they moved to a more rural property because Waco, suburban sprawl in
Waco was increasing and so they moved to a more rural property.
And in the late 50s when Victor passed away and I don't know, went to purgatory I guess,
question mark, I have no idea.
Not heaven because God forbid that's happened yet.
Yeah, it sure hasn't.
The sect splintered again, and this time another prophet stepped in
and formed the Branch Davidian Seventh-day Adventists.
Oh my God, everyone wants their own club.
I know, and I love that they're like,
oh, I wanna make a new separate club.
I'm gonna branch off, what should I call it?
I guess I'll call it the branch.
It just feels like, yeah, LOL, that's hysterical.
But it also feels like just Mean Girls
and a sorority being like, I'll make my own sorority
because everyone here does not just...
No one's listening to me.
They just don't get me. They just don't get me.
So, and I've applied for the E-board a million times
and no one's taking me on.
So I'll be the president of my own group
and they can just suffer without me.
Yeah, but you need to have some followers join you, right?
Because otherwise, what power do you even hold?
Right, right, right.
And so he did.
And so, this sect splintered again
into this Branch Davidian, right?
Seventh-day Adventist.
And right around this time, so that was in the late 1950s.
In 1959, so like right around then,
a boy named Vernon Wayne Howell was born in Houston, Texas in 1959 to a single mother who was just 14 years old. Vernon's grandparents took custody of him,
but his childhood was unhappy and he was bullied by his peers. He was sexually abused by older boys
and dyslexia made it nearly impossible for him to learn without access to accommodations. So,
you know, being the 50s, he left school.
He's going through it, yeah.
So when Vernon was 20 years old, he sought guidance in the Seventh-day Adventist Church,
but he was excommunicated because he was allegedly a bad influence on younger church members.
He was telling them, Heaven is real and can be achieved today.
How dare you. According to the Smithsonian, he was
expelled actually for attempting to marry the pastor's daughter who was a minor at the time.
Okay. It was in 1981 that Vernon found a home in Waco, Texas among the Branch Davidians. So this
is kind of where we like, where these two, I hate to say it, branches meet up
because Vernon is born right around the time
the Branch Davidians are formed.
As Vernon grows up, he's 20 years old now,
and he discovers the Branch Davidians and joins their ranks
because he's been kicked out of the Seventh-day Adventists.
Of course.
So there in the Branch Davidians,
he began a romantic and sexual relationship with the Branch Davidians leader and prophet Lois Rodin, who was several decades older than Vernon.
And she supported Vernon as her inheritor and the future leader of the Branch Davidians. So when Lois died, her son, George, tried to claim her role,
but Vernon was like, no, it's mine, she gave it to me.
And so his followers, Vernon's followers,
led a militia against George and shot him.
What is the, is this the royal family?
This feels like the Lion King of like-
It's out of control.
Like the son want, yeah, exactly.
So yeah, use that analogy if it's easier folks
to like picture it, but yeah, basically.
And so they-
Okay, imagine Scar saying, no Mufasa,
this is my property, that I'm the rightful heir
and that all the hyenas go after Mufasa.
I was screwing the mom lion,
so now I'm gonna shoo her son.
Yeah, I think it's probably not much like the Lion King
the more that I think about it, but you know, it's fine.
Anyway, they shot George and his supporters,
but George survived and Vernon somehow escaped
murder conviction when the trial ended with the hung jury.
So he like was victorious basically
and took over this this sect.
He took control of Mount Carmel, he took control of the residence, and he changed his own name to David Koresh to signify his role as leader and prophet.
David Koresh.
He's here!
I see what's happening here.
And he chose David for like Davidian.
That was what it was for King David.
Okay, I see.
Very, very good.
The Branch Davidians who followed David,
I think he should have been named Branch, but whatever.
If it really cared that much,
you should have just kind of ran with it.
Just kind of leaned into it, whatever.
The Branch Davidians who followed David,
because now his name's David, I guess,
believed he was God's vessel on earth.
They literally thought he was holy.
I mean, I don't wanna put victim blame on them.
I'm just saying, because he exuded this confidence
and changed his name to David and took over,
usurped the throne, if you will,
his followers literally thought that being near him
was being face-to-face with God himself.
Well, it sounds like this is a group of people
who think that, like, I mean, they're already following
prophecies and things like that, so if everything is happening
for a reason for them...
It's like another puzzle piece, exactly.
It's like built into their...
It's all connected.
Exactly, and it's built into their belief system already.
Exactly, it's not like a stretch, right?
Mm-hmm.
So, before long, David Koresh preached
that the Messiah was already here on earth and,
oh, awkward, it was him.
So weird, what are the odds?
I'm sorry, I forgot to have my mind blown
by anything he just said.
Oh my God, imagine that press conference.
You know what, I take back what I said earlier,
you know what cult would get me when the cult leader
actually says that somebody else is the prophet.
That would blow my mind.
Yeah.
When somebody else says, I'm actually not in charge here
and I'm not the Messiah and don't worship me.
That would suck me in, cause I'd be like,
that's the first I've ever heard of that.
I like how you just keep saying the opposite of a cult
is what would suck you in.
I know. I just want a group of friends maybe. That's, I don't know.
Okay. That's okay. I think you'd get sucked into...
Just about anything?
Yeah. We'll talk about it later. Anyway, so he says, you guys, I have the craziest thing to tell you.
The Messiah is already on earth. Can you believe that? And guess what?
And girl, he's in the mirror. Like I can't stop looking at him.
He's looking right at him.
And so, yeah, that was a dramatic separation
from the Seventh-day Adventists and Davidians
because that is not the kind of thing they were preaching.
And David ended up marrying the daughter
of one of his followers who was only 14.
And I wanna be clear,
and Saoirse made a good comment on this too,
that the term marriage is in quotations
because it implies legal consent.
There are phrases such as forced marriage or child marriage,
but unfortunately this was a legal marriage in Texas
with Rachel's parents' consent.
So this wasn't illegal, it was technically legal, but she's still a child.
So there's just a lot of layers there.
So David began separating families
in order to sleep with the married women
among his followers.
So he just started taking the wives.
And one branched of Vivien later said in an interview,
every single one of us was married to David.
Oy vey.
Jeez, okay, was there anyone he wasn't attracted to?
Damn.
One woman left in the middle of the night because David told her she'd have to separate
from her husband to be with David.
And she ended up running away and she left behind her young daughter, Heather Jones.
And once her mother was gone, Heather was completely isolated from her family.
David would not allow her to be near her father
and he physically abused her.
He would strike her with a paddle.
It's just a bad man.
And other, it sounds so dark and dystopian, right?
But then other women, because this is, you know,
all cult, you know, cult behavior.
Other women just wanted to be chosen by David, right?
They're like, oh no, he's God, that's special.
Well, even if someone doesn't treat you well,
if he's the literal Messiah and you're taken into heaven,
like, of course you're gonna pander to him.
You just think maybe you're wrong,
or you did something wrong.
And so Bible studies often went all night
and many women would stay up as late as they could,
hoping that it would be their turn to have sex with David.
Whoa.
He would like choose them that night, you know.
And one woman said in an interview that when David invited her into his bedroom, she thought, I'm going to be for the first time with God alone through David.
I mean, that's such an intoxicating.
Yes.
through David.
I mean, that's such an intoxicating...
Yes!
I mean, part of me wants to go like,
yuck, but then the other part of me is like,
I totally get if you're in that headspace that that's...
I mean, there's nothing more...
This is the most important moment
your life will ever know.
I know, and everybody who's seen The Vow
or any of these docuseries about cults,
hopefully knows that no one is immune to a cult. And even, there's no victim shaming here on my part.
I find David to be just sick in the head.
I don't know.
I'm sure there's a lot better words,
some more words that are apropos,
but we'll just leave it as sick in the head.
I mean, it's, it's, um, uh, we're not saying anything that everyone else who listens,
like everyone's probably on the same page as us, but it's, uh, yeah, it's,
it's really twisted and sad to see from like a third person perspective,
but I can also imagine being in that place where all you know is that this is
like the most important thing you could possibly
Do so like of course you're gonna crave it and then what happens you're gonna feel so blessed and like so
Yeah, yeah
Again tail as well as time
This woman also said the whole time we were having sex. It was a Bible study. He did it for me not for himself
She also defended David's marriage to a 14 year old girl
She also defended David's marriage to a 14-year-old girl,
stating that they all believed that a child became an adult
at 12 years old, so it was totally acceptable for David
to have sex with, aka rape, girls as young as 12 years old.
The Branch Davidians truly believed that David was a messiah
and David had become the leader of a doomsday cult.
So this is, as we kind of hinted up top,
and by hinted, I mean very explicitly stated, a cult who anticipates and prepares
for the impending apocalypse.
So the Seventh-day Adventist Church does not believe
in a metaphorical second coming of Christ,
according to their actual website,
quote, the Savior's coming will be literal,
personal, visible, and worldwide.
When he returns, the righteous dead will be resurrected,
and together with the righteous living will be glorified and taken to heaven, but the unrighteous
will die." So that's from their website. Okay, great. David and the branch Davidians also
believed that they would one day fight a literal holy war, like we were talking about, for God.
And David claimed it would be fought in Jerusalem.
He and his devout followers,
and this goes right against what you were just saying,
I mean, not right against, right?
Into?
Into what you were just saying, exactly.
He and his devout followers began stockpiling weapons
to prepare for the day they would have to battle Satan
and his armies.
Well, it's because they have to stay on earth.
They don't get that thousand year boot camp training
that everyone up in the sky gets.
They also made money turning semi-automatic weapons
into illegal automatic weapons,
as well as concocting homemade grenades.
So that's nice.
Oh, wow.
I just envision at your Bible study,
some of us are flipping the pages of the Bible
and some of us are like putting tape on grenades.
Like I just, I can't.
Just like mixing chemicals and shit.
Yeah, it's just.
Yeah, it's just like Walter White at a Bible study.
It's like, it's just.
Bad, it's bad.
Making bombs, yeah.
In February of 1993,
the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco and Firearms, ATF,
prepared to raid Mount Carmel following reports
of child abuse, rape of children as young as 10 years old,
and illegal weapons stockpiling.
The ATF believe that David Koresh kept all the weapons under lock and key, and so they
plan to catch the Branch Davidians by surprise and secure and confiscate the weapons.
So the morning of February 28, 1993, a reporter for a local news station received a tip about
the raid, so his team rushed him out Carmel to cover it as an exclusive story.
One member of the crew got lost on his way
and stopped and asked a mailman
for the directions to Mount Carmel.
The mailman asked why, and the crew member told him
that the ATF was going to raid the compound today.
We didn't have a singular conversation
about keeping this under wraps.
Hush, hush.
Hey, guess what?
Say, hey, no reason, just trying to go over there.
What happened?
The mailman was a Branch Davidian
who lived at Mount Carmel.
Mm-hmm, yep, well.
So he rushes home and he tips off David.
Great, good job, journalist.
According to an undercover ATF agent
who was living at Mount Carmel, imagine.
Bye.
Imagine you're living there undercover and you see somebody come and tell him that the ATF is who is living at Mount Carmel, imagine. Bye. Imagine you're living there undercover
and you see somebody come and tell him
that the ATF is about to break.
Honestly, thank God though,
because that guy could at least like-
Play along.
I mean, I don't think, I don't know if,
this is probably too far.
Yeah, this is like before cell phones.
But in today's world,
it would have worked out really well.
He could just like text like a threat level midnight. Abort mission, abort mission. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And so according to an undercover ATF agent
who was living at Mount Carmel,
David heard this news from this mailman,
dropped his Bible and said,
the time has come.
Oh, for God's sake. Okay.
I know. It is actually.
Well, by the time 76 ATF agents... Oh, yeah, you've got to believe that one guy undercover For God's sake. Okay. I know. It is actually. Well.
By the time 76 ATF agents, oh yeah, you've got to believe that one guy undercover was
like, shit, shit, shit, shit, they're coming.
Like, how do I get a fucking fax out real quick?
Yeah, how do I, like, where's my white flag that I can wave and nobody else will see it?
Seriously.
So by the time 76 ATF agents arrived at Mount Carmel, David had armed the branch Davidians and prepared them to give their lives in the line of duty.
So the ATF and the branch Davidians disagree on which side shot first, but upon the ATF's arrival, all we know is a firefight broke out.
The firefight lasted three hours of shooting until the ATF negotiated a ceasefire with David so that both sides
could safely collect their wounded and dead.
Several Branch Davidians and four federal agents had been killed and David had been
shot.
The ATF was forced to retreat and the failed raid kicked off a 51-day armed standoff at
Mount Carmel.
Holy shit.
Yeah.
It's just bonkers.
On February 29th, leap day, the-
Hey girl. Hey girl.
You know what?
If I were, that's what I would do.
If I were fucking profit, I'd be like,
it's gonna happen on leap day.
That way every few years, it's like, maybe.
You get a break. Yeah.
And then it's like, no, not this year.
That's actually genius, yeah.
Yeah, you just like space it out of it.
So on February 29th, the hostage rescue team, HRT,
responded to the scene and began negotiations with David.
David promised to release children in pairs.
Remember there are a lot of children living there too,
being abused and, ugh.
So David promised to release children in pairs
if the media would play pre-recorded messages on television that he made about his beliefs and his role as Messiah.
What now? Oh my god, did they do it?
So the FBI soon joined the ATF on scene and the negotiator agreed to David's demand.
They aired his recordings.
And in the first few days of the standoff, people were released from Mount Carmel most of whom were children
Okay, the children's parents did not like this because they genuinely genuinely believed
David was releasing their children to Satan like they were like what are you doing?
Well, they're like they're literally here with us to be safe from all these
naysayers that we were told are going to one day come for us.
And the first people you're relinquishing are our children.
And by the way, the one day is now.
Like he's like, the day has come.
It's happening now.
And he's like, anyway, you guys, I'll send the children back out into the fiery hellscape.
Like of course they're not going to like it.
And I don't think that was something that he planned, but what an interesting side effect
of the way that he has manipulated these people,
where they weirdly,
they think they're sacrificing themselves first
by saying, let me go and leave my minor children
with the sex abuser.
Precisely.
I can't imagine he thought it through that seamlessly
to have that be the effect,
but what an interesting
twist where it weirdly worked out in his favor. The strategy really turned into his favor. Yeah, 100%. And so, yeah, they genuinely believe David was releasing their children to Satan
and that their children could be killed because these people outside were Satan's army. And now
he's like letting these children go out to Satan's army. I mean, what are they thinking?
And so, as reassurance and encouragement
to release more children, the FBI sent videos
of the children playing together in the weeks
after their release to just show the parents like,
hey, we're not hurting them. Like, we're taking care of them.
We're not Satan. Like, your children are safer.
We're indoctrinating them like the woke left,
but they're physically safe.
But physically Satan hasn't arrived yet, so it's okay.
And so they also coordinated phone calls between the children and their parents, and that kind
of like reassured, you know, a lot of people.
On March 5th, so this would be five days later, David released nine-year-old Heather Jones.
She was the 23rd person and the 21st child
to leave the Mount Carmel house,
but she found no comfort among her rescuers.
She said in an interview that she had a small bag
full of her belongings, which was confiscated
in case it had weapons or explosives.
I mean, I wouldn't be surprised if,
I wouldn't trust him to not send children out
with explosives at this point.
With guns and shit.
Yeah.
So federal agents cut and tore apart her belongings in front of her while they laughed and made
jokes about what they might find inside.
And remember, her mom already ran away from this like terribly abusive situation.
And so she's alone.
She's been separated from her dad.
And she's been getting abused herself.
And now there's this.
And now she's like alone and confused and scared. And she only knows getting abused herself, and now there's this. And now she's alone and confused and scared,
and she only knows this encampment.
And her only belongings are getting ripped apart.
And these scary grown men that everyone inside
is calling Satan's army are suddenly tearing up her stuff.
And so she feels terrified and utterly alone.
And as the days turn to weeks, negotiations begin
to completely break down because negotiators
and the tactical teams are just like not working together to come up with the right strategies
to get David on their side and that's because the negotiators were focusing on de-escalation
and building trust with David and the branch Davidians whereas the tactical teams were like
come on like I mean it's like you see it play out on like Criminal Minds or SVU,
we're like, let us in, like, we're gonna...
And they're like, no, no, like,
we can talk him out of this, you know?
The way Olivia Benson has had to fight off
hordes of cops who are just not interested in empathy.
I know, and so that's exactly the kind of headbutting
they're having here.
And the tactical teams often undermine
the negotiator's progress,
because they're trying to. And the tactical teams often undermine the negotiators' progress because they're trying
to get somewhere slowly but surely,
and the tactical team is like ready
to fucking go in guns blazing.
At one point, they moved agents onto the property
in armored vehicles without telling the negotiation team
ahead of time.
And so David was on the phone telling the negotiators
to call off the agent's advance,
and the negotiators were like, what advance?
Like they didn't even know this was happening.
That's how like discombobulated, disconnected
these two teams were.
Yeah, I would argue one of the jobs
that needs the most communication is a job like that.
I would say so, yes.
And I think step one would be don't tell the mailman.
Literally, like ironically, the best communication skills
you can have is to not fucking say anything actually.
Just shut the fuck up.
Shut the fuck up and then yap away in the office
where everyone has their little plans.
Yap away in your fucking journal or something,
your live journal, don't do it now.
Don't do it to the mailman.
Don't write a blog, come on.
Don't write a blog like a normal person.
Jesus.
Yeah.
So when the negotiation team did convince David to release another adult from the house,
the tactical team used their armored vehicles to drive over and crush the Branch Davidians'
cars as an instigation tactic to get them riled up.
Jesus Christ.
Olivia Benson would absolutely not tolerate this.
I mean, this is unacceptable.
She would be like, are you fucking kidding?
like all all we want is for them to
Not think of us as Satan's playthings and you're just destroying all their shit and you're just like marching in and fucking
Flattening. Yes. Yeah, this is exactly what this totally like you have to think like what have they been told is going to happen and then
You're just proving them right.
Like you're not gaining trust at all.
I know they don't they just they don't care.
They just want to like overpower you know.
And so the cars were also riddled with bullets because the Branch Chavidians had been shooting
everywhere so the team just destroyed the important evidence because that could have
been used as like oh these bullets you know there's evidence here that the orange civilians were attacking us. And no,
they just drove over the cars for some fucking reason. So soon tanks arrived from Fort Hood,
which is the most heavy duty armored vehicles the US military had at the time. And the negotiators
felt that it was an unnecessary show of force that would only increase tensions. But of course,
you know, they were willing to go ahead
anyway because they wanted power over anything else. However, the branch Davidians did own
weapons also capable of puncturing armor, vehicles and buildings. So some team members believed maybe
they should have tanks because what if they have these automated guns that they can shoot through armor with, you know?
So it's kind of like a weird back and forth.
Like, maybe the tanks are necessary,
maybe they're just like aggressive show of power.
I don't know.
The tactical team began using sound tactics
to torment the Branch Davidians.
And by that I mean they would have these enormous speakers
on which they would play music.
Ugh.
The sound of rabbits being slaughtered.
Yeah okay. I didn't I didn't expect that but I knew it was gonna be bad.
Hours of a phone off the hook and beeping and Latin chants in reverse.
So torture.
For days they did this.
I mean, that's like, I mean, I-
I mean, what the fucking fuck?
Rabbits be, where do they get this audio, by the way?
Yeah, where did they pull that file from?
I don't like that, they have that.
Like you couldn't just do nails on a chalkboard
like all fucking day? Seriously, like a normal,
what is wrong with these people?
Yeah, that's, um...
I mean, that sounds like something Satan would do.
It sure does. No, you're so right.
So negotiations...
I would think that's evil.
And I'm not even in a fucking cult telling me that this is evil.
I do find that pretty evil, so yeah.
And, you know, this is where negotiations were.
And everyone was kind of like, what have we done?
Like, this is a mess, right?
So negotiations come to a halt.
I feel like there was somebody in that group
who was saying the whole time,
let's play rabbits being killed.
Let's play rabbits.
And everyone's like, shut up, weirdo.
Ron, stop it.
And then like three weeks in.
And he was like, no, I've got the USB right next,
like I've got the thumb drive right here.
Don't worry.
And then three weeks in, they're like, I don't know,
play Ron's tape.
We'll see what happens.
It just feels like they're just fucking giving up,
doing the weirdest, dumbest tactics now.
And so negotiations come to a screeching halt.
And the scene around Mount Carmel is just so, so bleak.
There's gun ownership activists there.
There's neo-Nazis.
Other sympathizers with the Davidians
began gathering at the perimeter sympathizers with the Davidians
began gathering at the perimeter
to support the branch Davidians.
Hundreds of members of the press
are like interviewing worried parents
because their adult children
were among the members inside the house.
So that now there's families whose kids are in the house.
I'm not children, but you know,
their adult children are in this, on this property.
And they're like, please don't shoot my family, you know, and so it's just all really messy.
And as a result of this, I guess, understandably, David refused to work with the negotiators anymore because he believed they had no true authority. And guess what? He was right, because it seems like the tactical team was able to overpower the negotiators every time.
On March 25th, the lead negotiator was told
he had to report elsewhere and was removed from the scene
and was never replaced.
So negotiating just stopped.
Even though it had been working,
like he had let quite a few people free.
That's wild.
Children, I mean, I'm glad they at least let the children
out before all this nonsense broke out, but
still.
So the agents shocked everyone when they agreed to allow a third party to enter the house.
And this was a defense lawyer that David's mother had hired and sent to the scene to
speak to her son.
She's like, I got my son a lawyer.
He's coming by.
Can he go inside?
And the FBI was like, sure.
I mean, I guess they in their mind, they're like, we've tried everything else. But also,
doesn't it feel like the first rule of a hostage negotiation is like, don't bring civilians
into the hostage situation?
Yeah, but remember, they said, nevermind. Hostage negotiators, go home. We're not doing
that anymore. It's fucking like, what do you call it?
The red tape is gone.
They're finally just-
We've gone rogue.
Like we're just fucking balls to the wall here.
And so the FBI was like, okay, well,
maybe we can reason with David and everyone else
if like we let this guy in and he has his lawyer there
and they have this advocate.
And so David told his lawyer that he needed more time
to write a new version of the book of revelations.
I'm sorry, like just one day.
Can you imagine like, that's some ADHD shit too.
I know, I'll get it done by tonight, I swear to God.
So like by the time the sun has risen,
the book of revelations will have been rewritten.
Oh my God, it's so fucking sick.
I mean, that's like when I remember that Renee
is an attorney and I'm like, I'm gonna tell her
that I'm gonna write the book of revelations.
Just to say, I told a lawyer that I'm gonna write
the book of revelations.
Also, like is he, so he's gonna,
what needs to be changed that he doesn't already like?
And by the way.
Oh, don't worry, he'll tell you, but go ahead.
Well, I'm just thinking like,
if you're the Messiah from a book
that has already been written,
for you to rewrite it implies that nothing in the book
before you even got there should be taken seriously.
So you must not be the Messiah.
Okay, so I just wanna make sure
that we're all on the same page here.
Okay.
Yeah, I mean, but think about Joseph Smith
and like how, you know, the angel came down
and was like, oh, here's a whole new book.
It's not like the old book and you're the star.
It's like, it's just, it's like,
they don't even use the logic of, you know.
We might as well write a book of,
at least one person would follow our book of revelations
if we said, oh, it's time to rewrite it.
Oh my gosh, let's do it.
I'm gonna rewrite it, okay.
So, this is not my version to be clear.
This is David's version.
His version outlined the end of the world,
the rapture and David's important role in it.
He's like, basically what he was saying is
I had to write myself into the Bible.
I wasn't in it first.
Now I wanna be in it.
I feel like he probably actually didn't touch,
especially cause he only had like five hours
before the sun was gonna rise.
He was probably like,
I actually don't need to put anything,
I don't need to edit anything,
except I am going to write my name in there a couple of times
and just says, David is the best.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Lylas David.
By the end of the 90s, just writing yearbook quotes.
But he literally probably put a little carrot
and wrote like the prophet David, but David Krush. Right, right, right.
Because he promised everybody that as soon as he finished writing,
don't even worry, the standoff will end. But David had already made similar promises in
previous weeks that he would release everyone when so some event would happen. And he had never
honored this promise, even when they did meet his demands.
And so they were like, we don't really believe you.
And there was...
So people are starting to doubt it, at least.
They're starting to doubt that he...
No, sorry, the FBI is like, we don't believe that as soon as you finish writing the book
of revelation, you're going to let everybody go.
Like, we just don't believe it.
But also does, again, speaking about ADHD,
this sounds like what people who are dating someone
with ADHD is to deal with, where it's like,
can you just do the laundry?
It's like, I have to write the book of Revelation first,
and then I promise I'll do the laundry.
I swear to God.
And then the next day you go into the laundry room
and you're like, what are these?
Oh, I bought like brand new washer dryer.
They work on like, I'm a cyclist now,
and they work on like solar power where I like churn my legs.
I mean, I feel like it's just so out of control.
Like he's like, oh, just one more thing.
Oh yeah, also that's not happening anymore.
Keep up.
I changed my mind.
I actually, I got really invested in something else.
So now the laundry and the book of revelations are not done,
but don't worry, this is so crucial.
In hand washing my laundry.
Do you know how many toxins are in Tide detergent?
It's like, OK, Christine, you need to get off the Internet.
If you have ADHD and you're
dating somebody, please just go give them a hug.
They probably deserve it.
OK, hold on, I'll be right back.
I'll do it later. I'll do it later.
Yeah, except you'll forget. It's OK.
Except I'll totally won't. I'll do it later. Yeah. You'll forget. It's okay. Except I'll totally won't.
I'll probably learn how to hand wash my laundry later
and then do two things and leave them sopping wet on the floor.
That's usually what happens.
And I'm like, oh, I didn't have time to dry them.
I'm sick. Okay, now they're moldy.
Anyway, so it's not a personal story,
and I don't know it from my own experience.
You learned about it in the book of revelations.
That's right.
Yeah, why don't we just transcribe this episode and make in the book of revelations. That's right. Yeah, why don't
we just transcribe this episode and make it the book of revelations? So of course the
FBI are like, I don't know if we believe you. And there's this enormous pressure on the
FBI at this point to end the siege. I mean, of course. And so on April 19th, 51 days into
the standoff, they finally received permission from the attorney general to use force.
They called David on the phone, they informed him that they were approaching the house to deploy
tear gas. They repeatedly stated, this is not an assault, and instructed David and the other adults
inside not to raise their weapons. The plan was to release tear gas in a slow and steady stream into the house to force everyone to evacuate.
So David hung up the phone and he handed out gas masks.
Love that he had that on on site.
Of course.
He's got his little bunker.
And also how creepy is it now that they're all wearing gas masks?
So the agents had information that led them to believe there was a bunker inside the house where the Branch Davidians could avoid the tear gas.
So they began repeatedly ramming one of the military tanks
into the side of the house,
basically just destroying the building
to get access to the inside.
In an interview, one of the people inside said
that the scene was utter chaos
and they were sure they were about to be killed.
I mean, tanks are like ramming into the building
at this point. Yeah, I mean, you are like ramming into the building at this point.
Yeah, I mean, you can't see because you're in a mask
and there's gas everywhere and cars are coming at you.
I mean, there's no way you don't die.
That's how my brain would operate.
Yeah, I would be in total panic mode.
And then, hey, what's that?
A fire, a fire breaks out.
It starts suddenly, it spreads quickly
and it engulfs the entire house.
Holy shit.
So as it is engulfing the house, federal agents, news crews, civilian onlookers, family members
waited for the remaining branch Davidians to flee. So over loudspeakers, the FBI instructed everyone
to exit the burning building with their hands in the air, promising that they would be escorted
to safety. But inside, some mothers followed orders
to move children deeper inside the house's bunker
because they thought they would be safe.
It's horrible.
It's horrible.
Did they end up burying them alive?
So they covered themselves and their children
in wet blankets and others who tried to escape
were blocked by debris caused by the tank
that had rammed into the side of the wall, the building.
And at the group home where the released children
were being housed, a care worker turned on the news.
And so all the children watched as their home
and their families that are inside
are burning to the ground.
It's just all so fucking bad.
And all at the same time too, it's like,
obviously I'm not saying like,
do you think they were scared?
Obviously they were scared. But do you think like in some way like this is exactly like, especially the kids who are probably born and raised in this world,
this is exactly what they've been prepared for their entire lives. So this is only, I guess, confirming everything
that they were told.
I think it is up until God is supposed to win this,
not Satan, and we're losing.
Right, that's a great point too.
We're supposed to walk on their bones,
not the other way around, you know?
Mm-hmm.
Yeah, I wonder if that shattered any,
if that disillusioned anybody when they were like,
hang on a second, we're not winning like you said we would. And we have the Messiah on our side. Mm-hmm. Yeah, I wonder if that shattered any, if that disillusioned anybody when they were like,
hang on a second, like, we're not winning
like you said we would.
And we have the Messiah on our side.
I don't even know if they had time.
I mean, the fact that they even went deeper
into the building shows they were still
like listening to their leader, you know?
Yeah.
And so it's just horrible.
One worker at the home where the children
were watching this on the news said,
oh, well, your parents must not love you enough
to have escaped a fire to be with you.
Hello?
Wow.
Go to jail?
That's absolutely, absolutely brutal.
Holy shit.
Fire trucks were not allowed to approach the scene
because there were these safety concerns
over exploding ammunition.
And so nothing could be done.
They just watched in horror as the house burned down.
Only nine people escaped,
and when the siege on Mount Carmel was finally done,
83 branch Davidians were dead, including 28 children.
Just burned to death.
It's horrible.
When the siege on Mount- And nine people survived.
Nine people escaped the blaze, yeah.
Wow.
So there's not-
That is in addition to the children
that had been released before, you know,
and some of the adults.
I would be, maybe you're gonna talk about this later.
I would be very curious what those nine people
have to say after the fact,
and if any of them broke free after that moment.
But also the fact that there's
over 80 people whose stories I would have also been
interested to hear after this that we just never get to know.
And the children that didn't even have a chance,
they were born into this.
They never, it just breaks my heart.
So over three decades later,
the fire at Mount Carmel remains a topic of bitter debate
and tremendous grief.
The FBI has released recordings
which, oh my stomach turns, the FBI has released recordings from within the house in which members
of the Branch Divinians discussed spreading fuel in strategic places hours before the fire started.
So they were planting some gasoline. Aerial footage of the incident shows three large
fires starting simultaneously in three distinct parts of the incident shows three large fires
starting simultaneously in three distinct parts
of the house.
So if you think about this, investigators ruled
that the fire was started deliberately by David
and several of his most loyal followers.
And for him then to say,
okay, now take your children and follow me,
it's like, you bastard.
Well, that's what I was gonna ask too,
which this might be, after that last sentence, maybe's what I was going to ask too, which this might be after that last
sentence, maybe not. I was going to say this feels like too complex of a
question, but do you think he was kind of doing what I think a lot of cult
leaders do when they realize like they're about to get busted is like just
fucking just end it and everything.
Like, do you think that was his plan?
And he was telling everybody, Oh, this is for our protection,
but really he was already sizing up
the amount of trouble he was in and realizing-
And it really tracks, it really tracks with Jim Jones.
It tracks with all sorts of cults, you know?
Just like, okay, time has come, they're closing in,
let's all die.
It's like, okay, time has come, they're closing in, let's all die, it's like, it tracks.
Some of the survivors, because you mentioned like,
oh, sorry, go ahead.
No, I was gonna say that then confirms our whole question
from the beginning of like,
did he really believe this or not?
Because he must have known on some level that he-
Well, I don't know, because maybe he believed
that they were going to heaven and God would say, you know,
it's like...
Right, right, right, yeah, you're right.
It's like, maybe he believed it, maybe he didn't.
It's like, there's no way to know.
Was he so screwed up that he was like,
had talked himself into believing it?
And maybe he was like, oh no, this is just God's plan.
Or was he like, well, fuck, they're onto me, so everyone's gonna die. Also, it's very curious was like, oh no, this is just God's plan. Or was he like, well, fuck, they're onto me,
so everyone's gonna die.
Also, it's very curious about like,
in the mind of a cult leader,
it's like, if you've already decided you're the Messiah
and everyone else believes it around you
and therefore you believe it,
and why wouldn't you wanna believe it
because you've got this ego
and you're hoping you're right,
then that means any thought you have
could have been ordained by God.
And so therefore any thought you're having is absolutely right.
So if your thought is now kill everyone, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I mean,
anything you do is, is prophesied. Yeah.
Anything you do or think is told by God.
I'm in the book of revelation. What more do you want? You know,
as he still has like ink on his hand from writing. I. Yeah, right, I know. He's still like just putting highlighter
in the fucking Bible.
And so some of the survivors,
I know you mentioned like,
curious what the survivors had to say.
Some of the survivors insisted the fire was caused
by their open flame kerosene lanterns
igniting the tear gas that the FBI released
into the building.
And so there's kind of this disagreement between some of the survivors and the kind of official
ruling.
The tragedy spurred outrage among right-wing groups.
Timothy McVeigh, an Army veteran who drove to Mount Carmel and sold pro-gun merchandise
during the siege, would later, as we probably know, kill 168
people in Oklahoma City with a homemade bomb on the two-year anniversary of the Mount Carmel
fire. So this has had incredibly long-lasting consequences. Regardless of how the fire started,
the attorney general serving at the time of the Waco siege, along with agents involved
in the siege later admitted to regretting how it was handled.
Well, that's big of ya, I guess.
It's considered by many to have been an avoidable tragedy,
largely caused by a total communication failure
between federal agencies.
And I'm pretty sure that this is one of the main reasons
this plot device is used so often in crime shows.
Like I really do, because it's one of the biggest,
most obvious examples of shit.
We could have really handled this better
if we had slowed down and not fucking overpowered everyone.
However, other people of course, and rightfully so,
believe that David Crush is the one responsible.
And for that I say, or to that I say also true.
Yeah, fair enough.
Two things can be true, I suppose.
So today, the Branch Davidian website insists
that the religious movement is in no way associated
with David Koresh or his actions,
but beyond that, I don't really know what they're up to.
So that is the story of the Branch Davidians
and the siege of Mount Carmel.
I'm so glad you covered it, because I've always heard the name David
Kresh, never knew a single thing.
I had always heard it too.
And I was like, I sort of know.
And then I was like, I don't know who that is.
Sounds boring.
Just some guy.
Yeah.
I never had any, um, I knew he was like a cult leader.
That was kind of as far as it got.
And I had no idea he was connected to the history
of the Seventh Amendment.
I, in my mind, I think I thought he was also maybe
a serial killer, because I really had never looked
into him at all.
And I knew he was in the true crime arena.
I just didn't know what that was about.
So good 101 history lesson there.
That was, thank you.
Yeah, of course.
And if you guys want to hear, you know,
more in depth, I don't, I'm pretty sure it's more in depth.
I'm trying to remember if it was one of their multi-parters,
but Sinisterhood did a very good job covering this as well.
And of course, Heather always has like the legal,
legalese to, you know, back, back up claims and facts
and stuff like that.
So definitely recommend that.
But yeah, that is, that's the story.
It's really a fucked up surprise.
Yeah, well, when it's not,
I have something to worry about, I guess.
I'm back to my beverage.
I'm apparently hearing a lawnmower or something.
Do you hear that?
No? I do.
I don't know who that is, but now I know that on Thursdays at 1, there's a lawnmower. Great.
Um, I'm glad... It's always Thursdays.
Hmm? It is always Thursdays, isn't it? That's so weird. I wonder why.
Well, sorry, it's so loud. I guess that's our cue that we should leave, huh?
Yeah, I guess we'll go to Yappy Hour because it's time to talk about something else. I don't know what to talk about
I
Guess I could tell more about my ghost stories in the house. I
would love to actually if you could
Do a close-up again of the
Hieroglyphics, let's look at the creepy printout. That's a great idea. Scyther it just say yes. Yes. Yes. Let's do that. Okay
Alright, well before the lawnmower gets over here again
Thank you everybody. I hope you drink some water today. I hope you took your medication
I hope that you bought tickets to our live show and I hope that you equally important as taking your medication
It's called habit stacking and I hope you pre-ordered our book because it comes out at the end of this month. So
Thank you everyone and we'll see you next week when we are,
I think it will be either...
Stop. Stop.
It will either be our last stressed out episode
or our first really fucking relieved episode.
And the day we're really relieved,
you're gonna hear about it, so don't worry.
I'm so, I like, I know that we're stressed, Christine,
but I am so excited about how... I'm so excited I like, I know that we're stressed, Christine, but I am so excited about how,
I'm so excited about the sigh of relief
that it like is really pushing me to get through this.
I think that I need to get past page one
and then I'll be more excited for the relief.
But I feel like there's no end in sight
because of my own doings and actions.
Been there.
And that's why we drink.