And That's Why We Drink - E45 Excessive Murder and Miss Vatican

Episode Date: December 10, 2017

Welcome to episode 45, sometimes referred to as Sister Act 17 or Lizzie McGuire Goes to South Korea! In this episode, Em covers the Silent Twins, June and Jennifer Gibbons, who spoke a secret language and couldn’t function without one another. As a result, Christine and Em invent their own secret language. Sort of.Meanwhile, Christine discusses Joyce McKinney, the absolute loony-toons “stalkist raper” who made headlines in the 70s for the Case of the Manacled Mormon. Let’s put it this way: she only gets weirder with age. Thanks for listening and check out our sponsors below! PS If PETA comes looking for us, tell them we’re not here right now.Use promo code WHYWEDRINK for $20 off your order of a personal song written by professional songwriters at www.songfinch.com.For $30 off your first week of Hello Fresh, use promo code Drink30.CanvasPeople.com takes your favorite photo memories and turns them into beautiful artwork for you to enjoy every day. Use promo code DRINK for a free 11x14 canvas (just pay shipping).

well we were recording through my laptop oh cool i mean it's like that thing where we said the blue cheese and the olives and then it deleted any meat i mean you know anyway let's try this again the point is we don't know what we're doing and i'm bad at math even though i pretend sometimes that i'm not i mean last week we said that we would do this where we just ranted and then we recorded and then we caught them up on the gist so we did that again we did do that you think 45 episodes then we would know how to just press record someday sup there's a lot of fires listen everything's on fire everything's on fire really it's 2017 realized it had a month left to get all this bullshit out of the way and it's like oh time to just set everything on fire just do a nice cleansing cleansing it's a 2018 detox burn it all to the ground. This clearly didn't go well. Yeah. Just turn it to ash.

A phoenix will rise. Yeah. Yeah. A phoenix. How's your wine, by the way? I brought Christine wine. Here's the thing. I was at work today and it was a stressful day because everything's on fire. And I was sitting there and I was thinking, oh, no, I don't have any wine left at home. So I literally just text Em and I go um do you happen to have wine at work that you can bring and I was like yeah okay I was like in a giant prop house we have a room literally called the alcohol room which makes me wonder why

Em doesn't bring wine more often but it's fine I'm glad it doesn't make you wonder why I don't invite you to my work anymore because I just probably for the best I don't invite you to my work anymore. Because I just, probably for the best, I don't show you that room because you'll never leave. And then I'll lose my job. So I watched, we have this creepy little like window in our door. So sometimes I watch when Em shows up and I was watching Em out the door. And I see Em's car pull up and I'm like, okay, there better be one coming. And I watch and Em gets out of the car and it's just kind of like walking toward the house.

And I'm like, I'm not holding anything. And then I see you turn around and I'm like, yep, yep, yep. There it is. You unlock the car and pulled something out. And lo and behold. You're correct. Two bottles of wine. You're right.

So really who won at the end of the day? I brought you two. Honestly, it wasn't our listeners because they have to. I thought it would be funny if I brought you fake wine. If I brought you an it wasn't our listeners because they have to i thought it would be funny if i brought you fake wine if i brought you an empty bottle why is that funny that's really fucking rude and then that's why i didn't do it thank you um but no everything really is on fire and when you say that that was a stressful part of your day you weren't kidding because no everyone here is freaking out like at my job uh we have a clock in clock out system

and that's just been going bananas because like people that I work with all live in the areas that are getting affected right now. So people have been like going in and out of work or not coming in at all and having to go rescue their pets and like having to pack bags. And half the people didn't even come into work today because either the traffic was so bad or they got evacuated and they're not in town or they just couldn't make it because there was some other panic that they had to deal with so like we can't even drive to like the starbucks down the road right now because all the roads are

blocked off and so they had people bring us food so no one had to leave the office yeah and everyone was like is anyone okay does anyone have like do you need a place to stay like everyone was offering up their homes i thought you were gonna say do you have a gluten allergy no i thought it was about no because he brought bagels so the answer is no is anyone vegan oh everyone is vegan oh okay it's very uh unifying because currently there's like a bunch of people that don't have homes right now it's really scary that are like even just at my job so we've been all kind of working together and making a phone tree of oh well if you can't find a place you can stay with me and if i can't find a place and i'll stay with you and it's really wild like in we're in burbank but a lot of people like live in the valley or live up north and

it's been empty like work has been empty and yesterday was a holiday party and they sent out an email like we're still gonna have it because technically we're open but we have to move it indoors so you don't breathe in fucking toxins all day right or all night and uh like half the people aren't gonna show up which i was like great open bar half the people aren't gonna show up like that's fine but it's really scary like so many people just couldn't come into work. I actually got evacuated from work. Oh my God. On Tuesday.

And it was, I've never been evacuated from a company before. And it felt kind of like a field trip, which is really fucked up to say. Cause I mean, obviously there's a lot of people dealing with issues right now, but I haven't like, it felt kind of like a snow day but it was just a fire day so it felt like snow day but hell yeah well totally because like when i was driving home from my quote snow day i was driving into flames like if you've seen the pictures on the news and twitter that's real like we are absolutely driving through things that look like scenes straight out of hell literally on fire like i'm and there's points where you're driving and like you think like oh i'm going the wrong way

for sure because i'm driving towards the flames and everything's getting yellow around me and my car's glowing like that's a volcano and i'm driving inside of it but you have to like pass it to get home yeah anyway guys end of days hashtag end of days um Hashtag end of days. All right. So with that aside, there's more I have to say. Oh, why do you drink? Well, I drink, A, because of that. B, also because of that.

That's really the only reason I have. Oh, what else do you have to say? I have to say that our Facebook Live is today at 3 p.m. Yes. We'll probably have a lot to say then, too. We'll probably have a lot to say that no one can hear, or you'll have a lot to say and we can't see. So, good luck. Good luck to future us. If our last Facebook Live is any indication, no one will know what's going on.

Okay, I want to read this to you. We got an email yesterday or today from someone named Taylor. Hi, Taylor. Taylor Mero. This is just like creepy as fuck. Okay? Okay. The subject is, I think your podcast is haunted, dot, dot, dot, question mark.

Probably. And I was like... Go on. Go on. I'm intrigued. Hey, fellow Geminis, which first of all. Thank you. Hey.

How you doing? Sup? My name is Taylor. First, I wanted to say that your podcast gives me life. Did she write that? Nope. I wrote that. Oh.

My head. I don't know. Someone's bound to. Which is why I continue to listen despite the creepy shit that's been happening lately let me do my best to explain because i'm as baffled as you guys will probably be i started binge listening to your podcast about a couple months ago thank you i had never had any paranormal experiences beforehand and typically explain things away before believing in the supernatural you guys were so hilarious and entertaining though i thank you so i started listening during my two-hour road trips to northern virginia oh hey

girl the first time something strange happened i was listening to a listener's episode about brutality against albino people in tanzania remember that oh yeah i was driving around 12 a.m on a back road first First of all. No. No. Don't do that. No, thank you. Ever. When a flash of white darted in front of my car. I slammed on my brakes and my car came to a screeching halt a few inches away from an albino deer. Shut the fuck up.

Listen. That's some wild shit. Its head was turned straight towards me and my headlights made its eyes appear glowing red it paused there for a good five seconds staring at me before darting into the woods my heart was pounding so fast at the time but eventually i ended up chalking it up to a coincidence there were a few other strange things that i can't really explain that happened during one of my late night road trips while listening emma had mentioned that a cold chill had filled a room as she said that freezing cold air started to blast from my vents for about 10 seconds while my heat was turned

all the way up a week later you guys were telling a story about how family was being haunted and a knife ended up going through a dad's hand for no reason don't panic i wasn't stabbed lol i didn't know where this was going but my pocket knife was sitting on my passenger seat i keep it with me for protection wherever i go after m said that the knife blade flipped open on its own nope i do not have a switch blade so it had to have been done manually nope thinking about that still freaks me out i decided at that moment to stop listening during those late night drives good call good call And instead began listening in the mornings at home because I'm a weirdo and love to start my day with such chipper stories. For a while, nothing seemed out of the ordinary.

Until a few nights ago. Jesus. Dot, dot, dot. We're already sorry. I will try to explain this as best I can, but it's difficult for me to even process. While I was sleeping, I think I experienced sleep paralysis. I remember in my dream hearing Em's voice.'re welcome how does that feel him uh saying something that was said on an earlier podcast it was about vulnerability when you are naked in the shower

and how you could have the feeling that you're in the presence of something purely hateful and evil been there uh basically i heard along the lines of the words in the presence of evil which woke Been there. This happened two more times when I felt the presence move to the foot of my bed and then to the left of me. This all happened in a matter of seconds, I think. Finally, I was able to pull myself out of the dream. I turned on my light to see nothing in my room, but I was sweating bullets and extremely nauseous. I tried to reason that it was just sleep paralysis because I had a terrifying experience a couple years before with it. It was when I was back at my parents' house recovering from surgery. Weirdly, it happened at a time that I came way too close to death

multiple times due to my illness. I assumed it was a side effect of my medication and trauma from surgery, but I will not know to this day. When I first experienced sleep paralysis, I saw my dog from my childhood come up the stairs and pause. I missed him so much.

He was my baby boy. Actually, come to think of it, he looked just like Gio as a puppy. Aw. Hi, handsome baby G. Anyways, this next part is pretty disturbing, so I'm sorry. When Bandit, my pupper who passed away at the age of 13 in that house, turned to me, he transformed into a large black dog with red eyes. Oh, fuck.

My mom was actually in bed with me and she said i started to make choking sounds like i was gasping and trying to yell i woke up sobbing and i was so thankful that i didn't experience sleep paralysis again for a long time i don't know what you guys think of this am i overreacting with things that should have an explanation am i right to be worded out my fiance thinks it's just random coincidences but i have a deep feeling there's something more i have never heard of haunted podcasts before but i wanted to let you guys know my experiences and see if you had some advice and yes i am crazy enough to keep listening lol love you guys stay spooky taylor well listen what the fuck i don't have just sorry just a lot

of apologies just so many apologies but the albino thing freaked me out yeah that freaked me out too and I've never even seen a fucking albino what are the odds that you're listening to someone talk about albinos and you see an albino at the same time and they are both relatively evil like the story we told and that thing with glowing red eyes well the story we told wasn't evil. What's happening to albinos? Oh, yeah. That's pretty fucking evil. But it wasn't like the albino person was evil.

Oh, the albino, they're the victim for sure. Yeah, okay. But then the- Evil resonates with either story. What's the evil with the albino deer? That it jumped down at glowing red eyes and looked like the devil. That's pretty evil. Am I the only one making these connections?

Yes. All right. Yeah, no, but it is creepy to be like hearing about just what are the odds it's really fucking weird anyway so that's that anyway that's all i have to say well we've taken up enough of our time so let's just do this story i want to hear it so guys this is the first story i'm doing that's not about ghosts. I'm sorry. What? It's, look. Wait. I'm so excited.

What is it? Tell me. This is a, I don't really know what you would call it. I guess a mystery. I guess a mystery. It has no genre. Is it? What do you think it is? I don't know.

What is it? What do you think? Tell me. So this was a story sent in by Olivia. Okay. And I just thought maybe people needed a break because I was getting to a point where all my ghost stories were either about... Exorcism? No, I felt like a majority of them were just like about hotels recently.

Oh yeah, they were a lot of restaurants and hotels. A lot of restaurants and hotels. And I was like, all right, I'm going to just step aside. Okay, this is the story of the Silent Twins. What's that? Do you know it? Okay, well, you don't. You just said that.

Wait, you mentioned it last week when I did Sabina Erickson and Ursula Erickson. Did I? You were like, are those the Silent Twins? Oh, maybe that was like a Freudian slip. Are these the ones that were in separate cells? Okay, just tell the story. Okay, so the twins are named june and jennifer gibbons my and that's not all listen i'm terrified so um they were born in 1963 in barbados but they grew up in wales and at a young age it became very clear that they um were

silent a lot. Like, they wouldn't speak to, like, even their own parents. Even as toddlers, like, they wouldn't babble to their parents. And they wouldn't babble to anyone. The only people that they talked to were themselves. Were they, like, autistic? No. Oh.

What the fuck? Because that's, like, a sign of autism. Oh, like, yeah. When you don't, like, communicate. No, that was a valid question. Thanks for laughing in my face. I was like, What the fuck? Because that's like a sign of autism. Oh, like, yeah. When you don't, like, communicate. No, that was a valid question. Thanks for laughing in my face. I was like, what the hell? Doctor, well, so they took them to the doctor thinking that that might be the case.

And the doctor was like, it looks like they're able to communicate with each other, but they're not talking to anyone else. Oh. Yeah. Like, they were voluntarily, even, like, too young to even be making any decision at all. They'd already decided amongst themselves that they only communicate with each other. Oh, no. So the doctor deemed them elective mutes, where like they were just like choosing to be mute unless it was to each other. Okay.

So they like understood what people were saying and they could actually talk but they were doing like that twin language right so nobody else knew what they were saying but they were definitely talking to each other and if anyone else even like tried to get their attention they would just go catatonic like they just like what we're just the fuck they would just freeze everything um later on which i shouldn't be quoting any of this yet, but eventually, um, they spoke later as, as adults. Um, June, June Gibbons said, we made a pact early on. We said we weren't going to speak to anybody. The fuck?

Um, she later confessed, um, cause this was in an interview um also i think the interview because i saw the transcript and it was on i think snapjudgment.com okay so i think you can get it from there but uh june said that they started their secret language as a game and then by the time they realized that they had gotten carried away with it they were unable to like break out like they were so used to it that they couldn't stop oh no so they would talk in their own language but apparently in hindsight that language was just sped up english just like really fast really really really fast english yeah well you don't talk like this yeah something like that like let's have a fake language ready hey i'm out what are you doing wow i none of us know what that said you guys that was secret language um so anyway they said

that they felt trapped and they couldn't get out of speaking that way that's terrifying um she said it went too far and although we longed to be normal we couldn't break out we tried to get back to the outside world but it was too late we were twins but our personalities clashed to make things worse it's like they actually kind of hated each other but they also didn't know how to talk to anybody but themselves so they were like forced to be friends but also hated each other they were like the only ones they had yeah but they also hated each other can't live with you can't live without you am i right or am i right so while growing up they um were the only black children in their area so they got bullied a lot um this was back in like the early 60s no they were born in the 60s this was like the 70s okay

um and so that just encouraged them to talk even less to people so if they even wanted to break out and try to make friends they were bullied so much that they're like we might as well just not even try for sure by age 11 not only were they only speaking to each other and nobody else but they'd begun walking in sync as well like very shining shit yeah um they would walk down streets and like they would like perfectly step in in sync as well like very shining shit yeah um they would walk down streets and like they would like perfectly step in in sync with each other um if anyone looked at them they would just freeze like they would just like go blank like zombie wouldn't move like stiff as a board what like if anyone tried to talk to them at all they would just stop everything and just

shut down ew that kind of just gave me chills that's so creepy like can you imagine if someone just walked by and all of a sudden you just just it reminds me of that jenna marbles video and she's like if a guy did you ever see this i don't know she was giving advice about like if guys ever bother girls at the club and she was like if you commit to it like if you're dead serious and don't break your don't break and don't laugh it will work every time if you just make an ugly fucking face and just freeze until they walk away like they will eventually walk away like if if you break or laugh at all then it's a joke and they like try to talk to you about it but if they're like come on let's go dance and you keep frozen and they're like no seriously come on and you keep frozen and

they're like hey that's not funny and you keep frozen eventually they're just gonna be like fuck you and walk away i imagine that's what these little girls are like where they're just like walking like in a little little step to step together and someone talks to them and they just make a frozen face and just kill the person goes away yeah jesus that's what i imagine creepy so uh they also refused to never leave their room so they were always in their room and they refused to speak to their parents or even their siblings wait so they refuse to leave their room yes okay you get me no one else does that's why word they refused okay i got it i got i got you so they only wanted to ever be in their room and they never left um they wanted if they wanted to watch tv they would leave a note for their parents so they can

write like they can clearly obviously speak oh my god they didn't even speak to their parents can you imagine like i don't know if you're a supportive parent or, like, you just gave up as a parent or you're just like, whatever, as a parent. But, like, you know, your kids have never spoken to you in their entire lives. They can clearly communicate and they just choose not to. But anyway, if they wanted to watch TV, they would slip the parents a note and they would bring the TV next to the staircase so the girls could sit in their room and look over the balcony and watch TV. And then if they, I guess it said at one point, they got so synchronized to each other's movements that if one fell off a horse, the other would just throw herself off the horse.

Like, they just could not do anything without each other. Oh, no. It's like when a twin has like a broken leg and the other one feels it yeah except this one all like grabs her own leg and breaks it so they're the same she's like i guess i gotta snap my fibula femur femur it's like um that episode of my strange addiction about their twins oh do you see that one? We watched that together. That's a juicy one.

That was a good one. That's a good one. Well, that's these girls in the past, apparently. Oh, right. But also those girls talked a lot. Oh, they just never shut the fuck up. Like us. So at 14, the twins were sent to therapists

because after 14 years, the parents were like, maybe you need to talk to somebody. I mean, you know, better late than never. None of the therapists could get either of them to talk. What? And so the way that they tried to handle it from here is like, okay, well, maybe they just need to learn to be individual from each other. So let's put them in different schools.

Right. So they put them in different boarding schools and it actually made them even worse. Oh, no. And they just did like that frozen catatonic silence like not moving stuff as a board for hours on end so eventually how that's insane how do you even keep that especially when you're not even near the person but like you just had an agreement that they just don't talk to people that gives me the creeps and in mind, when they do talk to each other, it's in another language. No. So, like, they still do twin babble at 14.

Wait, and it's sped up English? It's basically sped up English. That's how they later described it. But it probably sounds really creepy. Mm-hmm. Okay. Something like that. What the fuck?

I'm imagining. Just the thought of that is so creepy. So they came back from separate schools and they, because it like, I guess, fucked them up even more. They spent the next few years secluded in their room and never left. And they, but the parents knew that they were okay because they would hear them upstairs performing plays for one another. In their secret language? In their secret language and would write in their diaries. And apparently they wrote two to three thousand words a day wait so the parents read the diaries um no we'll find we'll get there oh so their mother used to not only get bring the tv to

the stairs but would have to slide food and mail under their door like they didn't even want to see people anymore listen my mom would be like fine fucking starve to death no but can you imagine for years imagine you're a parent your child goes upstairs with their twin and then close the door and then for years you don't even see them you just know they're okay because they're upstairs performing plays for each other yeah but that's how you know that they're okay then come get a fucking girl cheese like i'm not gonna slide it under your door get over yourself but still it's weird that know that they're okay. Then come get a fucking girl cheese. Like, I'm not going to slide it under your door. Get over yourself. But still, it's weird that as parents, they didn't even see them for years and just would hear people walking around upstairs.

I mean, it's definitely a different scenario than just like a bratty kid. It's like a totally different level. So, yeah, you're right. So the girls, later on, this was found out later on, but when the diaries were read, apparently, until this point, they thought that the twins loved each other because how would they know? Because they spent all their time together. But then in the diaries, they found out that they actually really had huge issues with each other and their relationship. And they couldn't break free from this twin connection. And this connection in general, not just the fact that they're twins.

Like this weird relationship they had so june wrote in her diary nobody suffers the way i do not with a sister with a husband yes with a wife yes with a child yes but this sister of mine a dark shadow robbing me of sunlight is my one and only torment robbing me of sunlight that's dark and like a fucking preteen and jennifer wrote we have become fatal enemies in each other's eyes we feel the irritating deadly rays come out of our bodies stinging each other's skin i say to myself can i get rid of my own shadow impossible or not impossible impossible or not possible it's the same fucking thing way to go jennifer listen jennifer without my shadow would i die without my shadow would i gain life be free or be left to die without my shadow which i identify with a face a misery deception murder and so there's a lot of problems happening here. So they, um, as you can tell, they wanted to be writers. And so listen, I'll hire them right away.

They write away. I'll hire them right away. I'll book them next. I can get it. God. Okay. I'll, uh, no double their salary double their salary no oh because they're twins just just go on so they started writing uh novels event because oh okay of course sure

so at this point they're now um they wrote they sent out for like a class like a writer's class but they would like send you books. So once again, they didn't have to leave the house. They just took a writer's workshop in their own room. In the mail, yeah. So they started writing novels, and it's where they started displaying really fucked up behavior. So they took their mail order class, and so each of them wrote a different novel. June wrote a book called Pepsi Cola Addict, which is something my mom used to be. It sounds like a song.

Which was about a high school teen who was seduced by a teacher. Oh, no. And then later sent to a reform program where a gay guard terrorized him. I mean, I'm sorry sorry that's not anything that the title suggests pepsi coal addict those guys you know i was promised a light-hearted bubbly i was promised a kendall jenner ad is what i was promised um and then jennifer wrote a book called disco mania listen which is about excessive murder that happened in a disco club so at least she was kind of on point with the title disco and mania may i ask a question i don't know

sure what is excessive murder good question we'll have to read disco mania you it just says excessive murder excessive murder excessive violence all taking place in a disco club Excessive murder, excessive violence all taking place in a disco club. Okay, that sounds like an actual movie, maybe. Yeah, like a really shitty 80s, like, straight to video. Yeah. So, then, so they're all about writing and they're, like, have all this, like, criminal kind of behavior. Yes.

And it's all going out in their books, at least. So, at least they have, like, a... Outlet. An outlet. Yes. And it's all going out in their books, at least. So at least they have like a... Outlet. An outlet. Then, somehow, someway, they decided that they were going to go outside.

Oh, no. And immediately started talking, by the way, talking. Normal. To two boys that were tourists. What? Because they were in Wales. So two American boys were visiting Wales. Wait, were they in Wales this whole time?

Yes. Oh. They were born in Barbados and lived in wales oh wait so they weren't speaking english wait what language were they speaking english oh okay and so um they started dating these boys i guess i okay there were different. What? Look. They, and then they started, I guess one of them was dating one of the boys and didn't really like him, but was dating the boy so that the twin could be dating the other boy and they would both have dates. Apparently they could only talk when they were hammered. Like, so they would get incredibly drunk and then go on dates with these boys so that they could actually talk. But they did say that that was the first time they ever felt relatively independent of each other, even though they were still together. Because they had another human to talk to.

I think. And also they said they were actually, like, dressing up and trying to look nice. And so they felt. They felt wanted by someone that wasn't the twin. Yeah. Anyway. All right. Go on.

Anyway. Anyway. They ended up losing their virginities oh at the same time yes really to the same boy no what do you mean are you making that up no wait what happened to the other boy although she didn't like one of them didn't like the boy she was only doing so she just like said see ya and then one time at a church all three of them got drunk then the boy took both their virginities while the others watched while the other one watched and then this is even grosser but like i had to read it so you have to hear it but apparently i guess the first one like said a couple things during it. Like nothing like crazy.

I just don't want to like repeat sex things. But like was like making certain comments during sex. And then when she when that one had lost her virginity and got up, the other one laid down and said the exact same things in the exact same order. Like so they were still copying each other. Oh, wait. Oh, so the girl said things during sex. were still copying each other oh wait oh so the girl said things during sex the girl said things during sex and then the twin said the same and then the twin laid down afterwards had sex with the same boy while the first one watched and said

the same things that the first one did listen and that's not healthy that is true no anyway that has really not much to do with the story but i had to learn that so everyone has to um so anyway the tourist boys stopped being tourists and went back to america they were like i can't be a tourist anymore they're like we've we've done all that we needed to our tourist duty has ended so they left and then i guess the twins now had more aggression than ever like i don't know why i guess because the two people that they ever finally spoke to are now gone we're like let's have sex bye and so now they're just back to each other woof so they had a lot of uh they decided instead of just writing about crime they were now going to start committing crime oh good that was the next obvious step m and christine 2.0 they stopped writing about crime no don't compare first of all i would never sleep with a boy second of all same am i right what no

you're drunk i'm just trying to make it sound like i'm not a murderer oh right okay that's a good way to do that so um they turned to petty crime uh and starting with like minimal like theft and then they started attacking each other so at one point um jennifer tried to strangle june with a telephone cord june tried to drown jennifer in a river and it's interesting to note that even though they hated each other apparently they would always like bounce back and apologize and just be friends again afterwards i mean they don't have a choice right they're like well the reason each other the reason that they turned to um like they decided that they were just going to start committing crimes and, like, being more aggressive physically.

Yeah. In one of their diaries, June wrote the reason why they are doing it now. And it was no friends, nothing else to do, nothing to fill the cold hour. Whoa. So they just started doing that instead. But they remained inseparable. And so I guess you're just able to forgive each other every time. Like, oh, sorry, I tried to kill you.

It was like, oh, ditto. They must just be like a symbiotic, like they cannot survive. They just can't function without each other. Yeah. So they were sent, I guess one of, they then later, wow, that was a lot of me trying to start a sentence and not knowing where I was going. It was really fun for me. Um, they started also committing arson.

Oh no. And they burnt down a building and I think they burnt down like three or four buildings, but here's the thing. They would burn down a building and then they would call the police and like say, oh, there's like an arsonist. Someone burnt down the, the, the house and ran away. And then when the cops got there because it was a small town the cops would see the two silent twins and be like

well we know it wasn't you because like the arsonist just called us and you don't talk so like they were calling cops and saying i'm the arsonist i just burnt this place down and then the cops would get there and see the silent twins that everyone knew in town was like well it's definitely not you because you don't talk so were they just awkwardly standing next to a burning building like yeah like shining status yeah basically but then they did that three or four times and the cops were like you're probably responsible why are these small children like out next to this burning fucking building i don't know so i mean come on so they were sent to a high security mental facility. Okay.

Where they spent 14 years. Oh. And during this time, the arson case blew up around Wales because there were two twins who have literally never spoken to another person, only talked to each other in a random language. language the first time that they are speaking to an adult is to call the cops to say we're arsonists and then just awkwardly stand there at their own crime and act like they didn't do it we don't even speak to our parents but 9-1-1 we just burnt down a fucking building oh but we didn't do it also oh but also like if we're standing in front of it really silently, it wasn't us. Four times in a row. I don't speak English unless it's really fast. So it wasn't me.

But you know what? We certainly can walk in harmony. That's for sure. So can you imagine seeing two little twins like burning a house down and then running in perfect motion? It's actually really scary in my brain like synchronized runners just like prancing away but then also not prancing away and just standing there and staring at the space until the cops show up i literally see the shining girls standing holding hands in front of the fucking burning like it's very alarming but that's also like imagine the cop who shows up at a burning house sees twins and then at the same

time both twins turn their faces to you. And they're just staring silently? And they just stare blankly. And all you know is they don't speak except to each other. I mean, it's... What do you do as the cop? You're just like, okay, go away. You're like, shoo. Shoo. Like, just kind of like the town fool. Just, okay, go away. Like, we don't want you here. You, like, take a tennis ball and you're like, what?

You just throw something shady. Go get it! It's over there. Jesus. I will pay you five dollars to leave the fucking promises literally where are your parents is what i would say and then they can't tell you they just keep blinking oh right they just speak really really fast um so but no but like they don't even do the babble to people right but also imagine like you know how like you'll be in certain areas and you'll think people are talking about you but you you can't really tell because either they're speaking another language or they're speaking too far away from you. Oh, yeah.

Imagine being that cop and seeing them stare at you and talk about you. In a creepy babble. And you don't know what they're saying, but they're just staring at you and clearly talking to each other. I think the creepy thing, too, is it's not a real language. Like it's a fucking made up language. That they learned before they even realized that language exists. Like it's not a real language like it's a fucking made-up language that they learned before they even realized that language existed like it's so creepy it's not like oh they're speaking french it's like no they're speaking a fucking made-up language yeah they should have thrown

some other twins into that county and been like here you try to decipher that so uh in the hospital because they went to the mental facility for 14 years and their story was blowing up. At the same time, the behavior in the hospital was crazy weird, too. Like the doctors have records saying that they would only take turns eating where on one day one of them would like stuff their faces with food while the other starved. What? And then the next day they would switch shifts. Were in the same room no oh no that was what i was afraid of and then the sisters were like they were placed in different cells at total opposite ends of the hospital but the nurses would find them in the same bizarre poses frozen like catatonic with like their legs

bent weird ways or like they're like doing like the like the exorcist kind of bend where like they're doing a back arch but they're on all fours oh the uh the wheel the where they're like their belly is the yoga pose trying to reach the stump the ceiling yeah yeah when they're on all fours and like trying to do like an arch i'm sorry so the nurse would be like the nurse would just walk by and like that one would be in a freaky fucking pose she'd be like that's weird and go to the other end of the hospital and the twin would be doing the exact same pose and if you went at different hours or if one was doing a different shift like a different position they would do it at the same time like they had nurses at different rooms no like i guess do like a page or a beep or something

when one would change and they'd be changing at the same time without being near each other. Here's the thing. If I had a twin and we were doing the same pose, it would always be corpse pose. Or child's pose. Or holding wine pose. Or that. It would just be like, what's the least amount of effort? Like the wheel pose that you're talking about?

What's it called? Wheel, I think something, wheel. That's fucking difficult to do. Well, they would both do it in sync at the exact same second away from each other. Psychotic. Like, that's insane. Yeah. So then, because the story was blowing up, an investigative journalist from the Sunday Times, her name was Marjorie, she was desperate to meet them. So she tried to interview them.

She actually ended up writing a biography about them in the 80s whoa um but so she reached out to them and requested to meet them and i guess the guards had to literally carry them to sit down because they did that catatonic thing where they just went stiff as hell and so they would literally just have to pick them up as like just like stiff people so even when they picked them up they didn't like move they know they would just like freeze every muscle oh so the guards had to pick them up and bring them to the table and then marjorie was trying to talk to them obviously they weren't talking and then she because she was an investigative journalist she talked to the family first like her parents yeah uh their parents and

went upstairs to their room and found all the diaries so the parents didn't actually know that they were doing like they were really into writing until the journalists found all the journals and she says that she was just scooping them into the trunk of her car just getting all of them and so she had read everything and neither of them were talking to her during this little um like questioning yeah and she just decided to just start talking about their writing and she was like you know i'm a writer and i think your writing is you know really good and i read some of your stuff and all of a sudden they just totally started talking to her like they were so excited and she says i think she quoted them as like anxious little animals like it's like just so like explosive and like talking over each other to

try and like get her opinion on their stories and so she slowly and by slowly i mean immediately gained their trust because she was giving them, like, advice about their writing and shit like that. Yeah. So she started visiting them a couple times. And she, Marjorie remembers it being, like, taking five hours to read a single page of their writing because it was, like, written really small and, like, really elegant cursive. So it was hard to decipher. And it was 2,000 to 3 three thousand words a day jesus so to read one page took up to five hours so to read a whole book was taking her like a month so it was it took a long time for her to get through all that but she

remembers them asking about every story and wanting every piece of advice they could get and so she became their friend and in 1993 she went back to talk to them again because they were about to get transferred to a different hospital yeah so she went to go talk to them about like what they like planned on doing or like if they ever wanted to hang out with her and jennifer like interrupts her and says marjorie Jennifer like interrupts her and says Marjorie before that I'm gonna have to die wait what and Marjorie was like why do you have to die and Jennifer was like because we decided what wait what do you mean exactly so during their transfer after Marjorie left they were then getting transferred to the next hospital and Jennifer slept in June's lap with her eyes wide open and by the time they got to the new hospital Jennifer was dead huh what so later they did an autopsy and they found they said it was a lethal inflammation

of the heart but there were no drugs poison nothing in her body it's a total mystery how she died but the fact that a couple hours before she was like well i'm gonna have to die and then said we decided and then she died on the way to that hospital like before the end of the day she was dead like she predicted what um and then when marjorie visited june next like when she visited her after jennifer had died june said i'm free at last liberated and at last jennifer has given up her life for me whoa holy shit on and then uh marjorie was like why on earth did that happen yeah and june was like well we decided between the two of us that one of us had to die so the other could have a normal life. And Jennifer said that she wanted to die. And so she died.

What? And that was the conversation they had right before they got into the before they talked to Marjorie the day of the transfer. So she's like, OK, I guess I'll inflame my heart now. She just died just on the fucking spot. Jeez. okay, I guess I'll inflame my heart now. She just died just on the fucking spot. Jeez.

And so on Jennifer's headstone on her grave is a poem that June wrote that says, we once were two, we two made one, we no more two, through life be one, rest in peace. What the fuck? Immediately after she died and when June was just, like, getting off the truck to get transferred into the next hospital, like, the second they claimed her to be dead, or deemed her dead, June, ever since then, has been a totally normal person, needs no psychiatric help, is, like, friends with people in her neighborhood and she lives in west

wales next to her parents like has like a great relationship with the parents and her siblings and and what the fuck and uh speaks normally speaks totally fine like we'll gladly talk about the whole situation so on snap judgment i think there's that website yeah there's a whole transcript where she describes everything that happened between her and her sister. And when Wallace ends up writing a biography about this for them in the 80s, June told her that one of them had to die in order for the other to live a normal life. June's admits and says out loud that Jennifer wanted to be a sacrifice so that June could lead an independent life. could lead an independent life and they ask her now like oh so you know you wanted to be a writer really badly are you like writing about any of this that happened and you know can we see anything any work you've done and she says ever since june died ever since jennifer died i don't need to write anymore it seems to me that as i get older i don't want to and i don't see the point in writing books now that i can communicate whoa and then they said well weren't you able to communicate

the whole time and she said yeah but i can talk now it's like she like like the spell broke the fuck also there's a bbc documentary called the silent twin without my shadow that was made in the 90s and that's the silent twins holy crap so i didn't mean to like step on toes if that was like more true crime than anything but like so it was a mysterious assisted suicide of sorts the only thing i'd ever heard about them was like their secret language and then when they were placed in like cells or psychiatric wards or whatever in separate places that they like could weirdly like communicate or have like the same like right like they would do the same poses or they would sleep the same way yep oh my god that is trippy as fuck so did she so oh my god was she like sad about her sister

or not really she was just like oh she did this for me she's like doesn't even think about it wow that is just she's like yeah she's dead i'm finally free bananas that is wild apparently they talked for a long time about which one would die and i guess jennifer said i'm weaker so i'll Yikes Listen I'm gonna tell you something It's about a lady named Joyce McKinney Yay This was sent to us by Chloe Hi Chloe

In an email The other names of the story are The Mormon Sex In Chains Case Slash Case of the story are the Mormon Sex in Chains case slash Case of the Manacled Mormon. Hmm. That's what they used to call me in high school. Take your pick. Which one? Take your pick.

Which one? Oh, Joyce. That was the one. But you can call me Joyce. You can call me mckinney they all do okay joyce mckinney she grew up in a small town in north carolina and moved to utah uh at some point in the 1970s to go to school she was a beauty queen in that she won this award called Miss Wyoming Dash World. Not to be confused with the very legitimate Miss Wyoming pageant.

Right. Okay. It's like the knockoff brand. Yeah. It's literally. It's like when Oreos are called like chocolate cream cookies. It's like. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Or like Cinnamon Toast Crunch crunch i think is called like cinnamon cinnamon squares cinnamon bread squares it's like no that's that's disgusting or like fruit loops is like rainbow circles it's like all right i can post circles yeah so she basically won miss wyoming World, which she was living in Utah. So she's not Tony the Tiger. She's like Timmy the Cat.

They're all right. They're discounted. God damn it. Yeah. god damn it yeah short answer yeah and so to this day articles call her miss white former miss wyoming she was never miss wyoming got it just to point that out um but she wasn't only beautiful she also had a self-proclaimed iq of 168 and they sold her in bulk at costco i feel like she's more of a sam's club i don't know right i think so but like

you know it's fine okay point being she self-proclaimed that she had an IQ of 168. Right. Me too. But like, right. Me too. Like, I also, I have a self-proclaimed IQ of like 204. I'm also a professional skateboarder. Yeah. Self-proclaimed. And a millionaire. Yeah. Self-proclaimed. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

All right. Moving on. I am self-proclaimed sober. Right. So. Bravo to you. Thank you. I worked really hard. So she joyce is in utah she for school she converts to mormonism and she begins studying for her doctorate in theater at brigham young university where she meets her classmate named kirk anderson okay so at this point she's 27 and he's 19 and they have like a brief courtship like a romantic involvement. They're together for a little while.

But Kirk was also Mormon. And so he deeply regretted having sex with her because of his religious belief, which was to wait until marriage. Okay. So he left her to become a Mormon missionary. So Joyce is horrified that Kirk has left. So Joyce is horrified that Kirk has left. So she moves to Los Angeles and starts acting so she can raise enough money to hire a private investigator to find Kirk wherever he's gone off to. All right.

The investigator finds out that Kirk is on a Mormon mission in England. So Joyce and her friend Keith may hop on a plane to go find him all right good start just hop on they hop on it they take a little trampoline and they just boop doink here i am so they go to england and they find Kirk. In England. In a church. Okay. Joyce approaches him on the front steps of the church, chloroforms him. Oh my. And drives him out to the English countryside where she has rented a house.

Of course. She handcuffs him to the bed, spread-eagled, and tells him she's rescuing him. Oh, shit. I will also add that it's probably not important, but I think it's important to add that the handcuffs were lined in mink. All right. So, Peeta's pissed, too. So, she's just making enemies left and right. She has burnt all of her bridges. Okay.

So she leaves Kirk chained to the bed for days and rapes him. The whole time she's trying to convince him to agree to marry her. Oh, my God. He finally agrees just so she'll stop assaulting him fair and so she like lets him go because he convinces her like oh yeah okay i love you i'll marry you the second she lets him go he pieces the fuck out contacts police tells him the whole story and they arrest joyce but this is the 70s the The tabloids went bananas. They were like, how could a woman rape a man?

Oh, my God. Jesus Christ. It was really bad. So it was, you know, he was a 605, 245 pound man. Right. Of course. So they're like, there's no way a woman could rape you. A Mormon man.

She was 112 pounds. They were like, there's no way she could kidnap and rape you. That's ridiculous. Right. Okay. ridiculous. Right. Okay. Yeah. Sure. So some of the headlines were the case of the manacled Mormon, the Mormon sex and chains case.

So like they made total light of this. And it's just awful because like he went forward and was like, this happened to me. And they were like, oh, this is like just hilarious. Yeah. Just turns this giant locker room joke. Totally. Totally. Like if you flip it on the other direction, it's like, yeah. Can you imagine? oh this is like just hilarious yeah just turns this giant locker room joke totally totally like if you flip it on the other direction it's like yeah can you imagine you know it's horrifying

um but it actually turns out that british law had no provision for a woman committing rape on a man they had no prior great legal precedent for that so there was like nothing they could do so instead of feeling horrified or ashamed or anything by the media coverage, Joyce actually thrived in it. Surprise. Yeah, right. So when police picked her up, she scrawled a note on a piece of paper that said, help me! And held it up to the back window of the police car as she was driving away. Oh, shit.

and held it up to the back window of the police car as she was driving away. Oh, shit. And then before she went to jail, she wrote two letters, one to her parents, one to the press, and then she explained that she put one in her vagina and one in her rectum. Oh, my God. She gave exclusive interviews to the Daily Express. She made a fortune selling her story. I think they gave her 40, pounds shit at the time like in the 70s 80s to like just explain what happened which is probably this poor guy is just getting like

berated yeah for what happened to him and she's just making millions oh yeah god damn it uh so she claimed to love him kirk so passionately that that, quote, if he had asked, I would have skied down Everest in the nude with a carnation up my nose. All right. I mean, I think we'd all like to find a love like that, you know? Oh, yeah. Especially with the origin that they had. God. Okay.

Does she ever get justice? Does she get justice? Do we get justice on her things get real weird okay real weird in a way that you don't expect them to get weird okay so mckinney uh told tabloids that her preparation for the kidnapping included reading books on deprogramming people who were in cults oh shit uh she said the mormon church was a cult remember she was also right had also joined the mormon church um she said the cult had convinced her true love kirk anderson to shirk her and run away to england uh despite the fact that she later denounced mormonism uh she was apparently like super dedicated to it for a while so she had converted to it while she was in school um

but she became obsessed with the osmond family which was like this i said donny osmond and all that i feel like probably it was a mormon like celebrity family of the 70s and there was like a ton of them so probably the osmonds yeah the osmond family so she said um her goal was to marry into their family and she has set her sights specifically on wayne osmond and she spent years just like obsessing let's look up way Wayne Osmond. All right, let's do it. Ew. Let me see. Let me see.

Let me see. Let me see. I don't get it. I'll find a picture of him from his yesteryears. Oh, that's probably fair. Let's give him a chance. It's the best I can do. Hot.

Obsess away, girl. It's so understandable pretty unpleasant whatever you know i will say he's one of those guys that age helped okay he became better looking as he got older i'll also say that like you know if miss wyoming dash world is into you i mean you gotta jump on it. You did something right. You know, he maybe didn't get Miss Wyoming. But you got Miss Wyoming Dash World. I mean, what else are you going to do?

I didn't get Miss Wyoming Dash World. I'll tell you that. Listen, most of us didn't. I got Miss Tanzania. And there's not even a Dash World. So you really won up the game. I got a whole country. Not there's not even a Dash World, so you really won up the game. I got a whole country. Not a whole country.

Hunt country? Allison? God damn it. Remember that time you asked if people in Tanzania speak click language and I was ready to kick your ass? How are you dating Allison? I'm like, because you deleted that part of the original episode. She didn't know about it until just now. Oh, no. I bring it up all the time.

Do you tell her? Oh, yeah. Damn it. I'm so lucky. Listen. Let's move on. So here's what happened. She made a shit ton of money from the tabloids.

And then she and her accomplice, Keith May, who brought her to England. They flee England, end up in Canada with fake passports, sneak into the U.S., dress up as nuns. As you do. Because they were trying to hide. Right. Apparently when they were... Good disguise, guys. I know, right? Like, that really blends in.

It's like if you're trying to blend in, like if you have a McDonald's employee or something. Literally put on some Crocs. no one will know put on some camo and just scream about america put like an american put like an eagle somewhere on your body wear some crocs like it's not hard okay i know it's really not but she um apparently when they ended up in canada they were wearing they described the outfit but it was like blue tinted sunglasses, like very specific. Just a really weird outfit. I mean all my

nuns have blue tinted sunglasses. Can you imagine a nun in aviators? Listen, I can and it's Sister Act. Is what it is. It's Whoopi, it's just Whoopi Goldberg. It's Sister Act 17. It's whoopi it's just whoopi goldberg sister act 17 it's whoopi goldberg in blue tinted sunglasses just singing and she also like is miss universe

almost oh right she's like dash miss universe dash church like miss vatican dash vatican dash kind of america if you believe it she's also wearing crocs so like she got it she's got it down and like they didn't so the fbi caught them it's the moral of the story right okay so they did not follow whoopi's example um they got caught because they had fucking fake passports and the fbi was like no that's it like we get that it's the 70s but you can't do that like nowadays you'd probably end up in fucking like yeah sing sing but then it was like no don't do that silly nun just fisk and silly nuns and then they just like this one joyful joyful the airport did they sing ave maria yes the airport erupted in song some small

some small children appeared in the background and then and then one boy going through puberty really hit a high note soprano and saved the whole church i mean it's crazy that they were able to continue and get a sequel too yeah with the church the church survived we digress so anyway here's what happened british authorities decided not to file extradition charges so the two keith and who the fuck is keith i don't know who keith is the pi yeah no no keith is just the friend just the guy just went doink on a plane with her. Yes. So they hired, she hired a PI to find this guy.

Oh, and then. And she and her friend Keith. They just buddy systemed. And his name is just Keith and he's just always there. Classic Keith. Classic Keith is. Maybe it's CK's silent twin. Oh my God, CK.

Do you speak a really fast language?'s like yes it's english it's scottish he doesn't speak scott i know jesus christ but keith might like keith might keith speaks scottish okay so here's what happened. She and Keith received suspended sentences. This is what she said when they caught them. She said, this isn't what I wanted. I just want a little house with Kirk to be able to have a hot dinner with him when he gets home from work. To stand by him. Why can't I have that?

It's like, because you're a fucking stalkist raper. Mm-hmm. Raper. Stalk stockist raper a stalker rapist listen i know i agree with you know what i mean kirk got out of town as he should and poor guy now has to like live in hiding because people are just harassing him bashing he's literally on a religious missionary trip and then suddenly is publicly humiliated after being raped. And now she's just going and being like, I just love him so much. Anyway, so she was charged with indecent assault of a man because under the then Sexual Offenses Act of 1956, because she was a woman, there was no crime of rape committed. Right. Because God forbid.

So it was indecent assault. So she didn't really get much time for that. Just like a slap on the wrist. Yeah. So years later, so that was in the 70s. In 1984, Kirk Anderson notices Joyce is parked outside of his workplace. Oh, shit. At this point, he's married with two kids.

And she's just, like, chilling in a fucking car outside his work. So he calls police. They show up, look through her car. They find a notebook of information that she's just logged his day-to-day activities. Oh, shit. His activities, his movements, like, his plans. Just logged all of it. They also open her trunk and find handcuffs and chains oh shit and when they question her she says oh i just wanted to talk to kirk to see how he's doing i mean she's and i'm assuming stalking laws weren't even a thing

in the 70s oh right especially if a woman is you 70s. Oh, right. Especially if a woman is, you know what I mean? Right. She's just a crazy ex. When things started to turn, at least, you know, it was typically like, oh, men are harassing women. But like, in the 80s being like, oh, this woman is obsessed with me. No one's going to legally do anything. You know what I mean? Could you get a restraining order at the time?

Probably not. No, it's also in a different country. So it's i don't know right or maybe they were in the u.s at this point i don't know so anyway she tells the whole story because again she just like loves the limelight she tells the whole story to this film director named errol morris who's this famous director he uh directed like holoca Holocaust film, just really intense documentaries. And he creates this Oscar-winning documentary about her. God damn it. It's called Tabloid, and it's about her life.

So she is interviewed in the documentary extensively, and here's something she said to explain what happened. She said,irk number one was the man i fell in love with and kirk number two was cult kirk oh god classic cult kirk classic cult kirk she claims that the uh devon hideaway so it was in devon in england um where she took him was kind of a honeymoon cottage where she intended to keep having sex with him until she missed her period to certify her pregnancy. Oh, my God.

At first, she says he was sexually impotent because he had been brainwashed by the Mormons. All right. Not because he just didn't want to have sex with you. Because you were fucking raping him. Yeah. She said, it's basically like the mormons were in my bedroom but the kirk number one somehow rematerialized and she actually starts to tear up when she describes how the three days of love making how beautiful it was and how it was

the melding of two souls jesus christ as to the charge of raping a man she smiles and says i think that's like putting a marshmallow in a parking meter what the fuck it doesn't make sense like uh oh yeah which by the way is not how yeah yeah that works thank you very much. Okay. So I read an article in Time written by Richard Corliss who wrote about the movie. And I thought the way he put it was just brilliant. So I'm just going to say it. He said, who wants to be the subject of a documentary? The same sort of person who goes on reality TV, an exhibitionist. Which is exactly what she is.

She just, like, wants fucking attention. Yes. Which is exactly what she is. She just, like, wants fucking attention. Yes. So, Joyce McKinney later sues Morris and the makers of the film, alleging that she was tricked into giving interviews. Oh, yeah, yeah. And that they slandered her and it was all a lie. She said, at this point, she was visually impaired and had a guide dog.

She said that producers broke into her home, threatened her dog would die if she didn't sign release papers. Like it's a silent twin who's just going to pass out in five minutes on a truck. I'm just going to enlarge my heart real quick. That dog's heart is going to inflame itself, I tell you. I mean mean that's insane so she said that they would threaten to kill the dog if she didn't sign papers and they were like what the actual fuck like she agreed to do this she interviewed with us like nobody forced her to sign anyway anyway so she did not win that lawsuit i'll tell you that

much oh good and they tried to settle with her and she's like i refuse to settle and they were like okay well then you lose like yeah all right you're not gonna get the money um so anyway things don't stop here because she's fucking batshit what happens more things happen so she turns up in tennessee about 13 years ago so it was probably like 2004 yeah um and she apparently hired a man to burglarize a house because she wanted to raise money to pay for an artificial leg for a three-legged horse. What the fuck?

Listen. She hired... That is downright bananas she's looney tunes i tell you what it gets weirder oh wow so in 2008 a couple years later she's back in the news even though she tried to be discreet by using her middle name which is bin. Uh-huh. So she's, instead of Joyce, she used Burnin McKinney. She was spotted in South Korea under her fake name because she was having her favorite dog, named Booger, by the way.

Cute. Cloned into five puppies. What the fuck? Okay, to be fair, though, if i had the money that i could clone geo you know there'd be at least 10 of them listen i talked about that at work all day but also it costs a hundred thousand dollars yowza and then i thought you know you're cloning your dog but it's still like not your dog like it's just a little weird like why not rescue a dog who needs a home why not clone the horse before it had three legs and then you've got a four-legged fucking horse you don't gotta rob anyone just like kill the first

one i mean now you got seven legs seven legs two horses one's gonna die but at least you just like tie them together yeah yeah they'll just do like that weird race that people do during team building days pita is gonna kick our ass listen all i have to say is i get why you would clone your dog like i get it but also like there are so many thousands of dogs that have to be euthanized like take a puppy who needs a home but but whatever we get it i'm not on a pedestal it's all the things you've done this one makes the most sense of all the things who's done joyce kinney oh yeah of all things she's done this is the one thing i agree with this is the one thing so she gets her dog cloned in south korea for a hundred thousand dollars and she's

like i didn't do that and they're like do you think the puppy's tummies have a print that says made in korea yes and actually i think it's a sticker like one of those little a little scratch and sniff no what the fuck oh no it's fucking late here's the thing she had all these fucking puppies cloned. Okay? Mm-hmm. Then she's like, I didn't do that. And they were like, yes, you did. We have. It's literally you. And she's like, that's not me.

And they were like, she's like, that's not my name. And they're like, yeah, it's your fucking middle name. Like, what do you mean? That's like me when I know I've done something wrong. And I'm like, no, I didn't. It's a little kid being like, it was my imaginary you're like i'm not fucking stupid when i was little i blamed my cousin on eating all the oreos like sneaking waking up in the morning and sneaking downstairs and stealing the oreos from the top shelf and eating all of them and i was like he did it and

they have a picture of me going he did it and i've got a bunch of fucking cookie all over my face like no i didn't that's the best one it's like it's like all right you're right okay dumbass yeah sure i believe you yeah so she's like i didn't i know that was i didn't clone a dog and they're like you're holding five puppies yeah it's like okay it's you and they literally look like your dog, by the way. And also, like, we see your face and you used your middle name. It's not sneaky. Yeah.

So she's like, oh, yeah. Okay. Oops. That was me. Whoopsies. Whatever the fuck. So then here's what happened now. She's now, Joyce Anderson is now a real estate agent.

She shies away from publicity, which. Why wouldn't you after so much time in front of the publicity? I feel like that has to be a lie. Like she's probably still planning her next move. For sure. She uses a wheelchair now for mobility. She lives in North Carolina. And Keith, Keith May, her co-conspirator died in 2004

but we know nothing about him he just was like casually there he was just like look if you're gonna go on this wild ride i might as well come with you and there was some like teen bop sensation movie about like two best friends it's like in the lizzie mcguire movie where he was the gordo he was the gordo you're like wait who's gordo like he was just there he was like he was just there like covering your tracks during every one of your fuck-ups yeah but you and then he died in 2002 he died 2004 close enough 2004 and then you just kind of never gave him the time you imagine a lizzie mcguire movie where she like cloned a bunch of puppies and then she was like, I didn't do that.

And then Gordo dies. Oh, that was definitely a movie. That was for sure exactly what happened. That was like Lizzie McGuire. That's what happened with the little cartoon versions of them. Goes to South Korea. I cannot handle this lady. I just, I know it wasn't like a murder, but I just thought this was so...

It's a true crime. Fucking bananas. It's a true crime. It is very much a crime. And Khloe sent it to me the other day, and I was like, she goes, oh, here's a link. And I was like, oh, what is this? And I clicked the link, and sometimes I'm like, oh, this is interesting, but it's just like one story. Like, I can't do a whole story.

But then I just keep reading, and I'm like, goes on and on bananas for years like she just does not stop being fucking batshit yep so she's just like cloning dogs and like robbing houses to save horses with three legs like it's just so nuts yeah we never heard more about that horse did we it was just that specific thing i just love how she just like got caught yeah hiring someone to burglarize a house so she could save a horse with three legs like that's so many steps to save a horse why can't you just be like hey i'm starting a charity to raise money for this horse exactly and the best part is that it said oh to burglarize our house to raise money i'm like exactly and the best part is that it said oh to

burglarize our house to raise money i'm like that's not what raising money is that's called stealing money so buying and stealing so like you're literally stealing and buying stealing money stealing and selling jesus christ get me out of this to buy a horse leg what's up i was trying to think of like a funny horse pun, but... Oh, I got some. Oh, yeah? Hay is for horses. That's my username.

Shh, don't tell anyone. Someone has to say hey to you first. Oh. Hey. No, I don't like it that way. I just like it as my username. What about... Hey, wanna hang out?

Nay. No? No? No? Stop. Stop here. Listen, tell them when to email us. Sometimes I'm trying to be very stable.

Get it. Were you the one who taught me about hold your horses? Yeah. I was? I think so. Teach me again. Teach me back. Okay.

You told me that when you say hold your horses, it means be stable. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like hold your horses in a stable. Hold your horses. You need to be stable. Yeah. I thought that was just. That was a horses in a stable. Hold your horses. You need to be stable. Yeah. I thought that was just. That was a pretty good mind blow for both of us. It's a good one.

It just happened again for me. It's just pretty wild. Like some horses, you know. I'm sorry. Just tell people where to find us on the internet. You can find us on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, ATWWD podcast. You can also email us. And that's where we drink at gmail.com

where you can send your listener stories. We put out a listeners episode on the first of every month. We have our website and that's why we drink.com. We have our shop and that's why we drink.bigcartel.com where we got a whole bunch of stuff. It's very exciting. We also have a Patreon atwwdpodcast.

You can follow us on our personal stuff. X Teen Schieffer. And V.M. Schultz. It's a good time. And that's why we drink. Clink. Is there another noise? That's it, right?

Roof! Oh, right.