And That's Why We Drink - E451 Labubu Covens and Immortal Butt Portals

Episode Date: September 28, 2025

It’s Episode 451 and is that Xiinön flying over the Sphinx with a frappuccino?! This week Em brings us the wild story of Ellen Sadler aka the Sleeping Girl of Turville. Then Christine covers the heartbreaking case of Blaze Nathan Bernstein and we have some choice words for anyone targeting queer folks for any reason. And, lastly, can anyone let Em know what savory means? ...and that’s why we drink! Photo Links:Blaze Nathan Bernstein Want to hear more from us? Subscribe to our bonus Yappy Hours on Patreon or Apple Podcasts! http://patreon.com/ATWWDPodcast___________________Cancel your unwanted subscriptions and reach your financial goals faster with Rocket Money. Go to http://RocketMoney.com/drink today. Grab Freaky Good Cider from Angry Orchard at http://angryorchard.com/halloween – and while you’re there, watch the new Jason vignette, “Sweet Revenge” and shop the collab merch! For a limited time get 40% off your first box PLUS get a free item in every box for life. Go to http://hungryroot.com/drinkand use code DRINK Go to http://quince.com/drink for free shipping on your order and 365-day returns. If you think you or someone you know might be struggling with OCD, please don’t wait to get help. Go to https://learn.nocd.com/ATTWDand book a free call with their team to learn more. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Emmy Award winner, Carrie Washington, returns as Dr. Virginia Edwards in Audubles' heart-pounding supernatural thriller The Prophecy Season 2, also starring Giancarlo Esposito, Dule Hill, Renzi Philees, and Ebony Obsidian. The Battle Between Good and Evil reaches new heights in this action-packed sequel that pits faith against fear and pushes the fate of humankind to the edge. Follow every twist and turn as Virginia and her miracle son, Joshua flee from Detroit, pursued by the sinister Luther Bell, played by Giancarlo Esposito, and his morning star. cult you know how i feel about a cult very intriguing with her estranged husband ryan and moses played by dula hill a devotee with a mysterious past virginia finds unlikely allies in samson and delilah together they uncover the truth about joshua's place in an ancient prophecy and each perilous step of their journey is guided by virginia's haunting visions while bell's forces closed in threatening to tear their world apart as natural disasters erupt virginia must

embrace her role as both mother and chosen protector, but will it be too late? Evil is rising and time is running out. Do not miss Kerry Washington in Audubles' new must listen to The Prophecy Season 2. Go to audible.com slash prophecy 2. That's the number 2 and start listening today. During the Volvo Fall Experience event, discover exceptional offers and thoughtful design that leaves plenty of room for autumn adventures. And see for yourself how Volvo's legendary safety brings peace of mind to every crisp morning commute. This September, Lisa 2026 X-E-90 plug-in hybrid from $599 bi-weekly at 3.99% during the Volvo Fall Experience event.

Conditions supply, visit your local Volvo retailer or go to explorevolvo.com. Over here, and that's why we drink, we talk about some silly stuff, but we also talk about obviously real heavy hitters. We talk about true crime. We also talk a lot about mental health. And one facet of mental health, I think, is incredibly overlooked is people that are dealing with OCD. One of the reasons I think it gets overlooked is because people think they have this idea of what it is or people will even make the joke of like, oh, sorry, that's my OCD. And they don't realize that it's actually a serious and highly misunderstood condition that causes people to get stuck in a cycle of stressful and wants of thoughts and repetitive physical behaviors.

They can be scary and disturbing and completely out of character. they create so much anxiety that people end up doing behaviors called compulsions to try to make that anxiety go away. And not every therapist understands OCD or is qualified to treat it effectively. OCD is highly treatable with a specialty type of therapy called ERP or exposure and responsive prevention. I know Christine has tried it. With no CD, you can do live virtual ERP therapy with licensed therapists who specialize in OCD. And they won't judge you no matter what your thoughts are about. So go check out NoCD and see if they can help. you. If you think you or someone you know might be struggling with OCD, please don't wait to go

get help. Go to an OCD.com and book a free call with their team to learn more. That's N-O-C-D.com to schedule a free call and learn more. So here's what's going on, everybody. Welcome to episode 451. I have a been on the edge of my seat for quite some time waiting to ask a very important question to Christine Christine are you there I marry you absolutely just kidding you asked me that like two years ago five years ago well the question is kiss specifically I never said anything about like locking this down but you did you gave me a tractor bracelet which I think I promptly lost or maybe it's maybe it's somewhere in the I did specify that'd be a wake a Vegas wedding to be fair that's

true so um that's already probably an old by now Probably annulled before it ever happened. But I'm still, we're still out on the makeout question. Anyway, the new one I have is please tell everybody. I have not heard anything, folks. I've been waiting until we were on the podcast to ask, how was Egypt? I went to Egypt. I'm actually shocked to you recognize me, Em.

I thought I'd get on here. You're a new woman. Thank you for understanding because I tried to pitch that joke to Blaze and he said, okay. And I said, okay, well, in the moment, Em, we'll say something funnier, like about my, like, You've changed. I'm a new person, right, yeah. And to be fair, I put him on the spot, and he was trying to eat lunch. So, but thank you for playing along.

You do, actually, your eye makeup is different today than usual. You're wearing lipstick, which is unfamiliar to me sometimes. Oh, you've got a really specific tip. It looks Egyptian, a very wing tip. I wore zero makeup while I was there. So when I got home, I was like, ooh, I can play, like, you know, dress up again. Yeah, got to get back in it. It was really cool.

It was just a beautiful experience. I went with a few, it was 12, no, 19 people total, but there were like 17, 16 women. And, yes. Immediately, this sounds like your worst nightmare. Why did you do this? That sounds like, if I told you I'm going on a random trip with 19 random people, you would go, I'll never do that. I got my own room, so I was like, okay, I can hide. But also, I don't know, M.

It's like, you know, I'm on this road here where I'm like, just to trust the universe. And I've always wanted to go to Egypt. I've had like a lifetime. I mean, look. Well, we've been hearing for years. We know. What happened? There she is, my little segment. And so. Beautiful.

Gosh, I just was so. So then when my friend Nicole, who does a psychic story, we were on her show before, when she was like, oh, I'm actually planning a trip to Egypt with some people. And I was like, I'm going. And this was like in January or something. And I just signed up right away without any questions. I had no clue what I was getting into. It was genuinely the most...

incredible experience in my life, not no shit, not being ironic. It was very life-changing. I came back and I was like, I am a new person, I feel. Wow. Cool. Yeah, it was really beautiful and cool. Can I ask what spiritually, mentally, emotionally, physically? Kind of all, well, physically not great. Well, physically, now you have the wing tip now on your eyes. I do. Okay, so physically all right, because I did also get mild food poisoning. And that kicked my crowns into gear a little bit. But, you know, that was only for one or two days. So I feel. like, and it was on the day of the hot air balloon, so I was like, cool timing, not into that. So you'll be in the sky? Just like. I skipped. I skipped. Yeah. Yeah. So you didn't

get to go on a hot air balloon ride. Actually, I got to not go on a hot air balloon ride. I see. So that was a privilege for me, I felt. Yeah. I see. Okay. And it was also wake up at 4 a.m. to go on the hot air balloon ride. And I said, I know. Yeah, you've been there. Yeah. So I've, I felt that I, it worked out exactly. And I, you know, there were some issues along the way, not issues, but just like, you know longer bus rides that we expected and like some just like discomfort like it's 104 degrees like there were things like that and I was like you know what I'm just going to go with it flow with it not complain just go and it was so perfect and beautiful and wonderful and I healed a lot of wounds that I've had we did a lot of meditating it was a very like spiritual group so we did a lot

of like meditating and journaling there everybody on the trip had a different like skills like one woman reads palms one woman um is like really really into astrology and can do your chart like you know super well so we're on the bus like just trading i mean i didn't have anything to offer comedic relief maybe but everyone else everyone needs a personality hire i'm telling you that's right thank you that's probably why nico got me got me on board yeah um no it was really cool and you know everybody oh this one woman's like really really um into she does a lot of like past life work and so on the on a especially long bus ride we did like a past life regression where she kind of talked us through it

and we journaled and it was just so fucking cool and I feel like I there were a lot of things that I kind of realized and I've decided to just really focus on myself and I've noticed that as I left the country and the continent and my cell phone, my beautiful cell phone carrier

you know and got an ESIM I was like oh I was getting a little anxious about like some family drama that's going on and some conflict in my life and I was getting antsy and then I went there and I was like I'm going to focus on myself and not you know harp on that and within a few days I started getting messages from people back home being like hey we're like working on this we're processing this and people were messaging me and I was like wait without my meddling you're all getting like you're all like healing and

improving without me involved that's fucking that's shocking to me the Gemini but it's also not shocking and it's also very exciting so I came home and I feel like everyone's kind of of, I don't know, I feel like things are just, I'm all about now, like, raising the frequency, right? I watch a lot of this, like, quantum physics shit. And I'm like, if we're all just making ourselves better, then the world will be better. So I'm clearly still on a manic high from my trip, but it was really lovely. That's fine. You're allowed to have, look, the way the world is, at least, welcome back to the USA, by the way.

Thank you. But any shot of dopamine you can get to your brain, just take it. Just ride that high. they was so interesting to look to see a totally different culture in a way where a lot of things are right in front of you like sexism and all that stuff is like right in front of you but then one of our guides brie made a really good point where she said the west has all this too it's just hidden differently or displayed differently and like we're more comfortable with it because it's not you know maybe right in our face like people with infants you know but asking for money that kind of thing and i was like like that's really well put you know um so yeah it feels like um i don't know it feels like a very lovely witchy retreat like a coven retreat um thank you i'm sure over the next um 10 years you'll all have to hear about it so much that you'll really want to kill me and you know i understand so that's fine i mean very few people are fortunate enough interested enough or able

to leave the country to do something that's significant that you've always wanted to do yeah it felt like very like miraculous like it just kind of appeared it the right timing the right i mean don't ask blaze i'm sure for him it was not the right timing for me to be gone 15 weeks but you know no 15 weeks 15 days um yeah so but but yeah it felt very like it was a huge privilege it was really really cool um once in a lifetime i literally we got to sit and this is not a joke between the paws of the sphinx at 3 a m just our group nobody's sick that's like like and i this is who i no, M. I saw a fucking UFO. And I didn't even mention it till now. You have changed. Shit is appearing and disappearing in front of me. And then Nicole goes, oh, that's because I

activated your psychic senses. And I went, oh, great. Okay, here we go. Did dare you elaborate on the UFO? I feel like, this has been your dream, your whole life. I mean, two dreams came true at once. It was. It was like, oh, but part of me was like, oh, exactly. This is how it was meant to happen, right? Like, I'm laying there, looking up at the sky with the Sphinx. I'll post a, I'll send a picture. And I'm, like, looking at the stars, just, like, trying to, you know, just be in the moment. And all of a sudden, I see, like, this little thing come out from behind a star and do, like, a little loop around the star and go back behind it. And I was like, what the fuck was that? Yeah. And it is straight. What color? What color? It was just kind of a

white. It was, like, white like the stars, but more glowy. I don't know if that makes. sense. Did you see like any aliens or like a Frappuccino fallout or any car keys? Something like dripped on me and I was like, it's sticky. Is that vanilla frappuccino? She like sky wrote like. I think Zedon just like put extra lipstick on that day and kissed the windshield for you so you could see her. Oh and I did and it meant a lot. Sorry I didn't take away from her actual story. No, that's way better. I wish I'd seen Zinon. Maybe it was her because then she zip to another star and I went, oh God. Okay. I am. am seeing this. Like I thought maybe I'm just kind of, you know, wanting to see it.

Then it zips to another star, but it like hides. That was the weird thing. It was like hiding behind other stars. That's the beginning of a horror movie. Yeah. Alone in the middle of pretty much nowhere at 3 a.m. Like the dawn of civilization. I'm like laying there and all of a sudden a fucking airship shows up and I'm like, oh, fancy that. And also you have to be, you have to be careful about who you even tell that to because of course you would see a UFO in an area next to pyramids who have already gotten a lot of flack for like alien you know what I mean I know and there was so much of that but I do believe you saw something for I know and I'm not trying to say oh the aliens then sent me a a blueprint of how they made the sphinx that is not what I'm saying big

fucking pyramid yeah I've just never seen anything so bizarre and I'm like of all very sacred places I guess it makes sense you would see something kind of supernatural but I mean in a world sorry but in a when you actively went on this like journey to like have a meditative experience. I mean, who knows what you tapped into? I think that's what it was too, because I was like trying to open myself to every, like, not everything, but, you know,

open myself to a lot of things, learning a lot. Apparently Nicole, quote-unquote, activated my whatever, I don't know, psychic powers. I have no idea. She probably didn't say that. But anyway, it was crazy. And then today I thought, you know, I'm really trusting myself and my higher self,

very dangerous. And I thought, I know, I haven't turned on in the fireplace in five years since we moved in. I've actually never turned them on. And I thought, why can't I figure that out? So I just go over there and I start figuring out how to turn on a fireplace. Mm-hmm. I figured it out.

It worked great. Did not see this coming, okay? I didn't either. Trust me. I was waiting for the next line to be, and the fire department's downstairs. And I had to draw my eyebrows on. I will say moonshine discovered fire. That was a downside to the whole experience.

But then I went downstairs and I was like, oh, right, we have one in the dining room, too. so I started kind of trying to figure that one out. And then I realized, wait, we don't have these gas fireplaces. And I was like, wait, we don't have like the key to turn the gas on. And I'm like, that's strange. So I'm kind of standing there and I'm like Googling something. I shit you not am. Something clangs.

I'm not going to show you my whole outfit. It's really just shorts and a tank top. Something clangs from out of my shorts and hits the ground. It's the metal fucking key for the gas knob. And I'm like, did that just fall out of my pants? It fell literally out of your ass. That's crazy. It fell out of my ass.

You were like a chicken and an egg, just hatched it. I was like, where's that key? And I was like, I don't even know if it has one. Like, honestly, I was like, I've never turned it on. I don't even know if it came with one. I don't know what it would look like. The other one upstairs was gold. And then something falls, it clangs to the ground.

And I go, what just fell out of my pants? And it was that fucking silver key. and I went that feels I mean that answers our question of like do things teleport or move I didn't even feel it on me like it's not like I felt it like it just I felt it fall out of my pants it was so fucking weird M that's I'm sorry if we were reading this off of a listener's episode I'd go ew I don't it's you so I'm trying to like keep it together but that's like I'm happy for you and like what a nice kind experience but also so fucking creepy yeah okay so this is what happened a lot on the

trip is that we started joking that nicole's butt was a portal because one time my had a little crystal so you literally manifested this shit your butt's a portal now i didn't meet to your butt is a portal okay so then the crystal i was holding fell onto her bus seat right and she's talking to someone else so she's leading forward and then i started doing that thing you know when there's like a fabric or cushion seat and you start like pressing down so the thing rolls toward you and it's this teeny tiny hirkemer diamond which i feel like maybe you told me about or somebody told me about there are these from herkimer new york and they're only from there there are these beautiful little crystals and it falls there and i'm like pressing it to try and get it to roll toward me and this is i'm doing

this for like 30 seconds being like this is so stupid uh and then suddenly she leans back and i'm like shit so i'm like Nicole i'm sorry my little herkimer diamond is under your butt and she goes oh shoot And before I can say, like, don't do that, she stands up. And I'm like, oh, no, now it's going to, like, fall. And I was like, oh, it's probably stuck to your butt because I don't see it on the seat. It's not there. So she sits back down. And she's like, let me tune in real quick.

I'm not even kidding with you. And I was like, okay, Nicole, you tune in. I think it's just stuck to your butt, but whatever. Yeah. So she's like, it's in the bag where you were trying to put it. I had this little bag and I was trying to pour all my crystals into it. Can you imagine having a that's a Raven skill where you never lose anything? unbelievable.

That's insane. Infuriating for everyone else. I'm at, like, she would be such a hero at a Super Bowl game, like on the TV. Like, you never lose her remote. And she makes a really good chili. So, like, yeah, in every way. Double hitter. I'm telling you.

So she sits there, okay, and she's like, it's in the bag. And I was like, no, I put all the crystals in a bag and this one fell out. Like, because it was so small, it got stuck to my palm. And I was like, this one fell out. And I put, like, the Fool's Gold and all the other. the pyrite all that in there she goes check the bag and i'm like finally i checked the bag and it's there and i go what the fuck i shit you not she stands up there is literally a fool's gold under her butt on the seat and i it took me like a few hours to be like wait pyrite is also called fools gold

like that felt like a prank but it was like the trippiest thing of like i was watching it trying to get it to like come back to my hand she sat down Stood up, it's gone, sat down again, and here's fools gold. And then the other one is like in my backpack, in a little pouch. Anyway, so that just happens now, I guess, to our butts. They just start. Don't put that on my butt. I'm totally so put that on my butt.

Because it's actually really convenient. I feel like life had to have been really hard for her at sleepovers because you know friends just went to test and just hide shit all the time and go, now where is it? Now where is it? Yeah, what am I thinking? What number am I thinking? I mean, could you text her right now and be like, where do you think this thing? where do you think this gas key came from this morning?

And if she doesn't say out of your fucking butt. I'm going to text her. I'll text her. This is your test, Nicole. Also, she listens to the podcast, and she's like, the whole time she kept going, sure, sure, sure. And she was like, damn it. And everyone's like, what?

She's like, that's what? That's what? That's what? And I was like, don't even worry about it, guys. It's, it's, it's, hello. I haven't responded to her nice voice memo either. I just haven't even talked. Or she's like, I had such a great trip.

I learned so much about you. No response. It's like, what came out of my butt today? Tell me. I lost something today and it reappeared. Or no, I didn't even lose it. I couldn't find it. I didn't even think we had one.

Like, yeah, I would. No one would. If I saw that, I'd go. How'd I know? Like, I've never used it. Clearly, that's an outdated thing that nobody has in their home anymore. So I'm not even going to look for it.

And my pants don't even have pockets. Like, I don't know. It's so fucking weird. Which begs the question, which ghost did it? Like, was it someone that just, like, lived in your house before? Was it like, whoever you? channeled when you were on your trip?

Is it like someone that always watches over you? Like there could be so many different. Is it just Nicole? Is it just Nicole? Showing up in my house. It would be. Or it could be someone who just really liked a fireplace. And finally you want to turn on the fires in your house.

And they're so excited. And they were like, take it, take it. Start turning on the fire. He was probably like, you just taught me about this. He certainly told the ghost, put that in her butt. Turn this one on for me too. Yeah. I'm so sorry.

I've talked so long. But thank you for asking. It was really great. I'm sure we went to, for 15 days straight, we went to like multiple sites a day. And a lot of very profound things happen. So I'm sure they'll pop up as I barge my way into the conversation. No, no. I look, not, again, not a lot of people get to go out of the country, let alone specifically Egypt.

So you're kind of our tour guide right now. Yay, I learned a lot. I was like the dork at the front with the tour guide Ahmed, who's now my favorite. And I was just like, like a huge nerd. I was, like, taking notes. Did you bring back merch? What was your favorite thing you ate? And what was your favorite souvenir?

Well, I guess it's the same question as merch. Merchant food. What did you get? Shockingly, my favorite food there. I famously, not famously. Don't fucking say a hamburger or something. My famous. They do make a lot of club sandwiches, which is weird for a place that doesn't eat pork.

But anyway. Interesting. Lental soup. I famously cannot stand soup, any type of soup. I don't like soup. I don't eat soup. This fucking lentil soup. I have not stopped thinking about it.

So good. Random. I don't think that would be something I ever would have thought I'd like so much. Lental soup was the favorite. Most of the rest of the food was like chicken and rice, you know, just kind of the standard. We went to a papyrus school and I bought this print that they make the papyrus out of the papyrus plant. We got to see how they do that. And then we bought this beautiful print.

We went to a, um, we went to a, um, I was waiting for a papyrus font situation there. That's why my face looked weird, but whatever. You know, they wrote it in hieroglyphs, but maybe on the bottom I can write in papyrus. Just translate it in papyrus. And then we went to a rug weaving place where they make these silk rugs. And of course, I spent far too much money on a rug for my downstairs. But I thought.

I think that's worth the money. Like you're making it yourself in Egypt? Are you fucking kidding me? I'm replacing it from overstock.com from seven years ago. So I figured it's about time for an. upgrade divided by seven and that's how much you there you know it's worth it's worth their career like a yearly you know carna payment yeah uh so that's that it was beautiful i bought some like

bracelets and things but not too much um i i have to ask the quite i imagine most people are wondering this pyramids you went you saw were you in one what did it look like how did you did you see king tut or any like any landmarks we would know about that you saw i we went to The Great Pyramid, and we got solo access. Shut the fuck up. Three in the morning we got to get in there. How did you do this? Is this just like a thing that you could pay for?

Like, it's like a VIP situation? I think maybe it's something that I don't know the ins and outs of on purpose. But you don't need to know. Sure. You're right. I think Ahmed just knows how to get us cool places. Cool. So I was like, don't question it, I guess.

I'll probably check with Nicole to make sure I could say all this. I mean, I don't think there's any. I mean, Ahmed's a popular name. Yeah, exactly. And it was all very approved by the government, which lets it down story. I have a feeling that really not many Egyptians are listening to the show. So I think we could probably skate past. No?

Yeah, I think so. I mean, shout out if you are. Your country's pretty cool. Hey, Ahmed, he might be. Sorry, landmarks. Oh, yeah, we went to the Great Pyramid. We went to, I think my favorite, there was like the temple, one of the chapels to ISIS. we went, and I had a very profound experience.

I just started, like, sobbing up? No, sobbing. Like, it was bizarre. I had this, like, full on... Do you feel comfortable to talk about that, or no? Yeah, it was... So, Isis is such a beautiful story because she and Osiris were, like, the first... I'm going to say this wrong, and please don't...

Please understand that I know that I'm saying it wrong if you're a historian, but Isis and Osiris, slightly awkward. They were brother and sister, also husband-wife. It was a long time ago. And Isis was born, this is according to our tour guide, with her son kind of inside her, but not like sort of like how women are born with ovaries, you know. Sure. And set the evil brother seeking to take the throne, killed Osiris.

And that was their other brother. And ISIS, out of deep grief, went to collect. collect all the pieces of her brother because Osiris had been dismembered into 14 pieces and spread across Egypt. And so she turned herself into a vulture and she collected all her pieces of her beloved brother and she made him whole again. And when she did that, the kind of dormant child inside her was fertilized and Horace was born. And he's a falcon god.

yeah and um he kind of was the one who brought the knowledge to uh the pharaohs and so isis spent her until he was 10 years old which is kind of the age that children um would go out and like follow their dad and go work and you know but until 10 they would stay with their mothers and so the story is that because she had turned herself into this vulture she was able to turn herself into a variety of different animals to protect him as he grew up because his uncle said was trying to kill him again for the throne. So she just transformed into all these different animals to keep her son safe. And then when he was 10 years old, he kind of went out on his own.

And I just, I had this like very, we did a meditation on like motherhood and the grief of motherhood. Yeah. It just was like a very, it just hit me very hard. And I think I just was thinking of like being a mother, my mother, my dad's mother, my mother's, like all the way back. And it was just a very, very profound thing. And I swear to God, I've never like.

I didn't, of course I didn't bring the tissues in there, so I had my mom's scarf that I was wearing, and I just was nodding all over it. She's not getting that back, yeah. I literally told her. I was like, I have to put that in vinegar or something. I'm going to a rug making class tomorrow. I'm going to make you a new scarf. I'll make you a new one. Anyway, so there were just like things like that that just like hit me. And then they were like, okay, let us take a big group picture. And then we all get on the bus. But every, half the people are like crying because they've had some experience. We're journaling. It was all very like cathartic and. It was very cool because when you're crying, it wasn't like, oh, what's wrong? You know, it's like everyone's kind of having their own experiences. So you don't feel like you need to. Like, everyone gets it. Yeah. And there's no pressure.

Like, you need to. It's a really, like, safe way to have that experience. Yeah, that's nice. It was cool. And I made a lot of very cool friends all over the world. So it was very. Sounds like you joined a covenant, my friend. I think I might have.

And if not, I'm going to pretend I did. because yeah uh if you're listening any of you don't don't deny it it's uh sorry it's much cooler this way you're part of it now just our rag tag team oh i did bring my labibu special people because leona said uh you cannot bring any of them i said can i bring a stuffed animal to do flat stanley in front of like the pyramids and she said my stuffed animals are safer with me and i said okay i can't argue with that and then she said you can take one of your stuffed animals and then pointed at my labo locks. And I went, cool, pretending it's yours and taking it with me. Excellent. To know that a four-year-old knows you well enough to know, like, you wouldn't

dare touch my shit. And she's, and she's right. I was like, oh, fuck. So I brought a Labibu. I said, Leona, what should I call it? And she said, uh, Leona. And I went, okay. Um, and so-Labobu is actually a great name. No. And so I was like, this is Leona Labubu. And like, I was embarrassed at first. And then about like halfway through the trip, people were like, oh my God, have you seen that little thing, that monster, like most people didn't even know what they were. And all of a sudden, like, people were like, can I have her for a little while and would like take pictures and like, that's cute. Anyway, it was very fun. And then we, we did like a little, uh, Labubu circle where we put him in the middle and we were like, La Boo Boo. And we were like to be like, this is our new

coven of Labibu. The irony of Leona thinking her items weren't safe when like for once you're in a circle full of psychics who could just tell you'll never lose it. Yeah. I'm elevating it to godlike status in front of the sacred pyramid. They're having like a weird seance with it. Yeah. Anyway, so other than that, everything's pretty normal. How are you, M? I'm so sorry to have talked so much.

No, I'm nothing. For opening that door for me. Nothing I did was as interesting as that, so please have the floor. Nothing interesting is going on over here. We're good. You have a beautiful wall art behind you. So I think I can tell you that you're in just the vibes, the lines. I know.

Well, it's nice to be back at a hotel. I haven't been in a hotel in months and months. So, um, right? I don't remember where I've been lately. I don't either. And I'm just telling you blankly. I have no idea. And it has AC, right?

It has AC, thank God. Uh, I asked Christine early on if anyone could, she could hear my AC. And honestly, if you said yes, I would have kept it out anyway. I would never have said yes, even if it was super loud. Thank you. Um, no, I am seeing friends tomorrow in Philly, um, which this is like our first. Oh, fun. I don't know if this is, I'm going to absolutely force that it becomes.

like an annual thing. But this is our first time where like a bunch of my childhood friends that all live in different areas have like tried to all do a get together somewhere. So we're going to Philly. And then because I'm trying to do my 50 states by 35, I'll be near Delaware, which is like the last one on the East Coast I need. And so of course my mom just decided that we're going to Delaware. So as soon as she found out I was on the East Coast, she decided I wasn't going home as soon is I'd like. So we are going to Delaware after I see my friends. And every what I tell that I'm going to Delaware, they all go, why? Because apparently they've gone and there's there's nothing much there. It's sort of like you go there if you like know someone there or you're

like in school there. If you know, if you're Joe Biden, I guess. Or if you're Joe Biden, I think like the only two famous people from there are like Joe Biden like Aubrey Plaza or something. Oh yeah. Which I did find an interview where she recommended. so I'm just going to do an arbitrary I guess but I I'm excited to go I'm excited to like check one off my list and I like that the town is the town

the state is the size of a town and so we're going to knock out like six cities in a weekend so I'm pretty excited about that two birds one scone you know so that's kind of all I'm doing the reason I drink this week is because I'm going to be gone this was my first time boarding hankies

and I'm my baby he's probably not doing good right now um he he's doing great what if he's like maybe he's having a party but as you know because you're the one who recommended this dog placed me because gg used to go there yes um they have they post like regular instagram videos and stuff like that so you can check on your dog at all times and they have like a live camera but so um in every video he has just looked so scared out of his mind no i know but i bet you like two days in he'll be like like the rock star of the group it does help that his best friend at the dog park also goes there for daycare during the day oh so he gets to have play dates so at least and also this is very

i'm sorry now i'm also stealing time here but um it's not stealing if it's our time that we're only using i mean well it's their time too but listen they've committed they hit me sorry for your time if you're like trying to like just wait for us to finish so you can press pause and go to the grocery store or something sorry if you're that one person who always comments what time we start our stories because you're like any second now. Although I highly appreciate that person also. We see you and we respect you. We acknowledge what's happening there.

We get it. But so he was apparently just like full on panicked every time I took him to doggy daycare. And I mean, it's like it's a nice place, but we are, I think like his fifth or sixth home. And so I just, I'm constantly terrified that he thinks that we're not coming back. And I guess he warms up after like an hour. and he's okay he's not totally panic-stricken but he still would as soon as I'm there he wants like get the fuck out of yeah Gigi's kind of that way um but I I didn't know this but I guess Cosmos sorry Cosmos's friend at the dog work I was like Cosmopolitan magazine no Cosmo odd parent

excuse me ha ha ha Cosmo is one of his best friends and I guess Cosmo's parents were dropping him off and saw Hank through the window and they're like oh my god is that Hank and then said hang in Cosmo our best friends. So then the dog park decided to put all the other dogs away and let Hank and Cosmo have a lone front time. And they got to. It's their play date. Their personal play date. And apparently that really helped Hank warm up and feel safe when he had like a buddy. So I'm so anxious when I prescribe, prescribe when I recommend, suggest places. Because I'm like, it was great for me. I just don't ever want anyone to feel like, you know. So I'm so happy. I'm so happy that they're just I love that place I know I I he's he they seem very lovely there I don't

think like anything bad is happening to him I think he's just scared yeah I mean yeah and so sorry I'm looking for my mouse that's why I keep ducking under the desk like not a real mouse sorry to clarify not a real mouth oh by the way another reason I drink is because oh she just walked away okay um another reason I drink is because we have a mouse in our backyard and that's a real one I'm a real one who has charged me. Charged you. Oh, no. Ran directly at me. And I just, I had a camera back there.

Obviously, I got video of me going, Okay, forget Egypt. That's what we should have immediately talked about, please. It was, it was horrifying. And I can't tell if it was a mouse or a rat. I know apparently there's a difference between them. It looked like a big ass fucking princess bride rat to me. Yeah, what are those called?

of unusual size. Yeah, something of a new... Rodents of unusual side. R-U-S? R-U-S, yeah. That's what is living in my backyard, by the way. Cool. And then the front yard is coyotes,

who are literally bigger than Hank. They're fucking wolves. And one of them just walked... It was like, like I owe money to the mob and now they're intimidating me. They're just like stalking in front just to give you a mess. The other day was literally just pacing our street, just up and down, walking, like, waiting for something.

And then, like, I'm on the neighbor's app and everyone. It's all people talk about on, like, next door and shit. Well, like, the coyotes have been successful. No. And so now Hank is only allowed in the backyard because there's tall gates, but that's where the rat is. I can't have anything. You know what I mean? Our corgis were attacked by a coyote once, and they were so stupid that the girl one,

ran after it into the woods and my stepmom goes she starts running with a tennis racket I'm like I don't know so then I start running I was like 13 and my someone goes go get them and so I'm running into the woods and I kind of hit towards coyotes literally go get the fucking coyote I'm like and then I'm running in the woods anyway but this is like the woods of Ohio you're in a major metropolis it's just so trippy well a lot of people think that like because I'm in L.A. that I wouldn't be near a bunch of of like wildlife but burbank is right next to a bunch of mountains and so they come they come down at night from the mountains looking for something to eat um and there's a really as we all know

because i've talked about this before there's a big skunk population so i think they usually eat eat the skunks um i see i see and sometimes they eat things that aren't the skunks and there's raccoons i mean but so Hank would absolutely not survive um he his favorite thing to do is run towards danger That's kind of exactly That's like my corgi It's like, where are your instincts, my friend? Yeah, there's a guy at the dog park who I don't know how else put it

But there's some mental health concerns there And there have been times where We've had to call the police Because he was a danger And only when he's a danger Does Hank run right towards him And I'm like, get the fuck away from him I'm like, it's doing

Yeah, he's a And there's only nothing we can do there's nothing the cops can do because he lives nearby and so every time they've shown up he's already like back in his house so they can't go in without a while it's a whole thing the dog park is a wild place i'll handle it i'll go rogue don't worry if i rub up on him and hug him while he's yep vigilancy justice yeah it's like fucking batman anyway i don't know how we got here i i'm i'm drinking because i had to say goodbye to my little puppy dog for 10 days we've never been away for 10 days from each other, where he wasn't at least

at home with a rover. This is his first time away for 10 days, which scares me. And there's a mouse, and then somehow equally as scary as one mouse, there's like hundreds of coyotes that are trying to kill my dog. At least they'll probably eat the mouse, if that gives you any condolences. As an hors d'oeuvre,

and a moose, as you said. Just eat that thing, just a one bite. And a mouse boosh. And a mouse boosh. Listen, you know I don't usually like your off-the-cuff puns, but that was a good one. All right, Chris. Christine. Well, do you drink anything today? You know, I brought multiple options. I brought my vitamin water.

I think you're the last person on Earth who still drinks vitamin water. I am. I'm pretty sure. And every time I go in there, I'm convinced they're not going to be in stock anymore. And they are. I'm like, any day now, they're going to get rid of these. And then I also brought this just in case. This is the 19 crimes bottle of wine. In case things go south. And I brought a bottle opener or wine key. So I didn't bring one. I just found one in my drawer because, of course, there was one in my drawer. You know, I got to say vitamin water at, at their peak, when they first came out, excuse me, they were incredible. Like, the packaging alone, do remember all the funny little quippy labels? What does that one say? Did they get rid of them?

Lame. It says, tropical energy for riding, the workday wave. That's rad, man. That's literally the dumbest one I've ever heard. They used to be funnier. They used to be like a paragraph and they were all quippy. And one of them was like, like, Jennifer Anderson. Yes.

Like they were like, it felt like a cards against humanity or something. Like they made no sense out of the time. I loved them back then. And we were in high school, so we were like, oh yeah. This is edgy. So edgy. Now there's liquid death, which is like, we'll decapitate you and your dog. And we're like, yay, that's hilarious.

It's like, I think the bar has just gotten really high. It's like the frogs slowly boiling. It's like the drinks have to get more fucked up. They have to get more aggressive and violent before. Well, speaking of aggressive and violent, I'm usually a firm loyalist to Arizona iced tea cans. I know that. And they recently came out with a straight out of Brooklyn chocolate egg cream, like basically, which if you don't know what an egg cream is, it's basically, it's like a sparkling chocolate

milk, which I'm not for. Not for me. I can't imagine that canned. Sorry, Arizona did this? They did it. Oh, no. Arizona iced tea made in Brooklyn. That's what they're promoting.

right now specifically made in Brooklyn chocolate egg creams in their cans and I'm like I get that you could you can you have a lot of power since you're only asking 99 cents of me but I won't do that I'll do a lot of things for 99 cents I won't do that but I won't do that I've been spending a lot of money recently but I kind of girl mathed it for myself where I don't really feel like I'm spending all that money because I use rocket money. Rocket money is a personal finance app. that helps find and cancel your unwanted subscriptions, monitors your spending, and helps lower your bills so you can grow your savings. So basically, Rocket Money went through all my subscriptions and said, you're paying for this, you're paying for this, you're paying for this, and I

went, I don't want any of that. Put that away. Get it out of here. Thank you so much. Rocket money shows you all your expenses in one place, including your subscriptions you forgot about. And if you see a subscription you no longer want, Rocket Money will help you cancel it. I did that with like three random online magazines I had subscribed to at some point. If you've got a goal, you'd like to save for, Rocket Money can analyze your accounts to find the best time each month to put extra money aside. Rocket Money has over 5 million users and has saved a total of $500 million in canceled subscriptions, saving members up to $740 a year when using all the apps premium features. You can cancel your unwanted subscriptions and reach your financial

goals faster with RocketMoney. Go to RocketMoney.com slash drink today. That's rocketmoney.com slash drink. Rocketmoney.com slash drink. this podcast is sponsored by the crisp refreshing angry orchard listen guys there's a litany of things that we shouldn't get angry about but let's be honest sometimes it's hard not to be my dog has become friends with the earwigs the bugs that pinch out in the yard and every time he goes outside now he carries them in now i get to pick up live pinching earwigs every time he comes back in from the bathroom that's what gets me angry right now but you know what you can do instead of being me and being angry you don't have to be angry. You just get an angry orchard. It feels chill and refreshed. You don't have to be pissed off. You just have a tasty orchard. And welcome to freaky season because Angry Orchard has partnered with Jason Universe this fall to bring some new sweet treats. Probably my favorite thing about Angry Orchard is that right now they have a new limited edition glow in the dark, hello, thriller pack. That includes four unique flavors including Blood Orange, inspired by The Jason. Nothing I love more than Apple flavors, blood orange flavors, and anything that glows in the dark. So on my behalf, please, please, please, go pick this up. Grab freaky good cider from Angry Orchard at Angry Orchard.com slash Halloween. And while you're there, watch the new Jason vignette, sweet revenge, and shop the collab merch. And please drink responsibly. Here's a story for you, Christine. And I think you'll like this one. She sounds

like, I'm going off the title here, because I did these notes like two weeks ago, three weeks ago. I know me too I'm like this is going to be an interesting one we're just like wow I couldn't tell you a single thing that happens but based off the title alone I feel like we can both relate to her this is the story of Ellen Sadler

aka the sleeping girl of Turval is this the chick that slept forever honestly I don't totally remember anymore I'm imagining so why else would you be called the sleeping girl I guess so right don't sleep So, again, we were supposed to do these notes a long time ago, and then something got in the way, and then you went to Egypt.

It was me. It turned into us not doing the notes that I prepped a long time ago, so now we're all going to learn together. So this is apparently in the 1850s. Travel back with me, will you? And Ellen Sadler lived in Turville. Ah, I'm in an asylum. Sorry, it didn't last very long. I mean, I have a tattoo and I'm not wearing pants.

So I think I was bound to really get in trouble. Okay. You really, well done. Really got me there. I should probably not be drinking wine. So I'm going to put that away for a bit. No, no, no, no, no, no. Bring it back.

No, maybe. We'll see. Ellen Sadler lived in Turville, which is in Buckinghamshire, Buckinghamshire, Buckinghamshire. Buckinghamshire. I don't ever know how the other people in the UK say this, but fuckinghamshire. Worcestershire. I'll never know that one either. You said it exactly probably right, and I still won't be able to repeat that to you.

We're Chester Shire. I have no clue. I'm so sorry. Anyway, in Terval, the population is 400, which is double, triple my high school. So yes, for everybody's, so everyone can get an idea, it's triple M's high school class. Does that help? That's literally how my brain handled it. So however, you need to think of 400, you do that.

Cool. She was the 10th of 12 kids. And her dad died when she was a baby, but her mom, Ann, got remarried to her stepdad named Thomas. So Thomas and Anne, Ellen loves with them. And in 1871, she is 11 years old. The family is very poor. And so Ellen was sent to live with a family and work as their nursemaid slash nanny, which they're two different words. I think they're the same thing.

At 11. I know. But also 1871, so I'm imagining just rules were different than. Right, it's like in dog years. She's like actually like 40 or something. During this time she, as a nursemaid slash nanny, during this time she began suffering from headaches and intense drowsiness. She actually, it got so bad that she couldn't do her job.

So her boss, the family she worked for it, they sent her back home to go have a doctor look at her. The doctor's name was Dr. Heyman. And Hayman discovered that she had, quote, glandular swellings. Okay. And an abscess on the back near the nape of her neck or the bottom of her head. Oh, that does not sound good. So, yeah, to me, that sounds like she swollen glands and then she has like a cyst of sorts. It's like a tumor or something or like a growth. Yeah. And obviously, in today's world, we would say biopsy. But, um, instead they just kind of took a whack at it and not a literal oh i was like hey that's not gonna help

although i have seen those videos of people who have like a weird like buildup of something in their hand and then people just whack it with a textbook until it goes away sorry have you not seen this no i mean i'm gonna google it later there's like there's like there's like some sort of like buildup like of liquid or pus or something in their hands and it looks like a giant cyst and then they just take how make their friend just like smack it as hard they can it's the fact that it's a textbook that tells me this is like not something you should be doing if you're it's maybe not a high schooler right yeah i feel like this is i feel like we're ignoring a bigger problem if you're just flattening desist

juveniles because they have textbooks on hand so yeah they also have tick tock which is how i found out about it there you go that's it yep um so anyway he took a mental whack at it of like what could this be because i certainly have never heard of a biopsy before so what what else is there um he decided that this is probably symptoms of a spinal disease and so he went to her to go stay in a hospital for a while but the family couldn't afford it so they're not having a lot of money um the friends oh their friends end up pulling some strings and get her into a hospital for 18 weeks which holy crap that 18 weeks the bill in the USA in 2025 would be out of control um think about how bored you would be back then you don't even have a tv let alone

like an iPad or TikTok. I feel like books just came out at that point. I mean, they just discovered books. It's like you just look at the wall and just keep doing it. But they, so she was there for 18 whole weeks in the hospital. But they deemed her incurable, which I guess after 18 weeks, if there's nothing you can do. Yeah. No?

So they ended up sending her home without a diagnosis. Two days after coming home, though, Ellen still wasn't feeling well. Later that day, she had either A or multiple seizures. Oh, no. I'm also unsure if it was her first time having one. I didn't see anything about that, but she at least had one seizure that was pretty intense. After this, she, this is a quote, she turned over on her left side with her hand under her head and the lower extremities drawn upwards,

a.k.a. she was in a field position, which I imagine after an intense seizure, you would also just want to ball up and cry, sleep, anything. And you get tired after human nature. And you get tired after seizures too. So she kind of curled into the field position. And once she was in this position, she fell asleep. And then no matter what her family or Dr. Heyman tried,

they could not wake her up. So remember she already had a nightmare. She already had her headache. she had intense drowsiness, then she goes into a hospital, none of that gets cured. So she comes home, still tired, has a seizure, and then falls asleep. Oh, my God. I would just assume she didn't make it. Yeah.

Like, oh, do you have the seizure and then now your body is. I mean, now you're unconscious and unable to be woken up. So she was unable to be woken up, and she remained literally in the same position. It's not like she was sleeping and kind of tossing and turning. She just stayed in the same fucking position. would you like to guess for how long? A week? I don't know.

Nine years. No, nine years. Nine years? What the fuck? At first. Yeah, I know. I was like, oh, this is going to be good. At first.

Nine years? Thank you. Get out of town. Which, like, at that point, make it ten. Hit the decade mark. You know what I'm saying? But, you know, I always disagree on that. I have different views of that because I feel like nine strikes harder than 10 because 10 I just

assume people are rounding up that's fair I guess I would mental games I whether or not she made it to 10 as her like family member I'd still call it 10 I'd be like you'd be like up to 30 or 30 by now you slip for five decades but half my life um so yeah nine years and at first everyone thought she was dead because duh um but I guess they kept waiting for her body to get cold and it wasn't getting colds for them to react and like host a few funeral or something, but she just kept just being warm. And she had the faintest, but an existing pulse and an existing breath. So she's basically, like, in a coma, but without any sort of life support.

In today's world, I think we would say Homegirl was in a fucking coma after a grand old future. Jesus Christ. And with that growth on her neck, like, oh, my God. Yeah. I think that would be a pretty easy diagnosis. This is like nightmare, nightmare, nightmare. So let's put that out there now.

They're aware of what this is, but back in the day, this was spooky. Right, yeah. It's like a medical marvel, right? She needed a fucking doctor. It's like Guinness Book of World's Records. Like, let's put sparkles on it and be like, look how crazy this is. Yeah, and it's like, ah. It did not take long for people to find out about her somehow being alive.

Like, I guess this whole town, there's only 400 people, but maybe she was the first coma, and they just didn't know these existed because books just came out, remember? Well, yeah, typically, like, if you go into a comic book just came out, and it's just the Bible. So it's like, what the fuck? They're like, well, Jesus and Lazarus and all that. But like, beyond that, we're not really sure what's going on. I do feel like probably even if you did know about comas, you probably wouldn't survive very long. So I imagine nine years, like, that's, yeah, that must be something different.

Nine years of every day going any day now, like, is she still here? Having to check her pulse every day to be like, is my baby still alive? I know. I can't even imagine. I'm telling this to a mother. I can't imagine. like Leona just falling asleep and never waking up but she's like still with us but is she you know what is she eating what's happening I'm like so I have so many questions I'm sure you're

gonna answer some of them but I have my own questions because I'm like what the hell okay so maybe I'm gonna answer them because I did these notes so long ago uh yeah you're like I've got the same questions Christine let's find out together and it may just might have answers and by just might I mean really I might but I might not and if you don't jack will cut this out and no one will ever hear it. That's right. It did not take long for people to find out about this, quote, medical marvel. She gained global attention with all sorts of people and doctors coming in to see her sleeping.

Even literally the Prince of Wales, who would one day be King Edward the 7th. He came and laid hands on her to heal her. Papers, so more than books were around, papers called Ellen Situation, one of the most incredible, inexplicable, physiological phenomenon that has ever been encountered. Extry, Xstery. Yeah. You just know they have like exclamation points in the headlines and shit. Yeah.

Well, oh, he missed her. Get this paper. This little girl, she's just sleeping and sleeping and sleeping. Luckiest girl alive. I don't know. Whoa. Who's that? I want him to come back more often.

I think that was also Juniper and the Small Zads. Oh. No wonder I didn't recognize it. I was like, who's this, gentlemen? Your cat just came over here to tell me all about something. Okay, Nicole just answered. She said, my butt portal question mark. So, like, kind of.

That's a what they, won't they kind of answer. Wait. It all makes sense. Our portals are connected. Okay, this is getting in. That's human centipede. I'm so sorry. I regret saying any of that.

Keep your butt away from my butt. I'm so scared over here. I'm going to say that her butt portal. Hold on. Cloned itself. Yeah, it has a, it's a communicable disease now. I've gotten it to. It's contagious.

I can't wait to hear her response to what happened. I did put pressure on. I said, M and I are recording, and I have a pop quiz for the psychic. So I feel like I put a lot of pressure. So she definitely just said, my portal, and then a laughing emoji. And I said, it's contagious. It fell out of my pants. And we'll see what happens.

It's like my butt, actually, my bun. Actually, my portal. You're a mortal portal, some might say. You know what? That's hot. Thank you. Can we kiss now? Okay.

It did not take long for people to find out. Literally, the Prince of Wales even came to do to come see her. People came in with all sorts of suggestions on how to wake her up. They did the classics trying to sneak pins in so they could poke her when they viewed her. Fucking sick. What's she like a museum exhibit? A zoo. I mean, she's a living...

I mean, not to be like, not to objectify a person, but this is a living human science experiment at this point for them. Yeah, I mean, they're treating it like one for sure. Yeah. They're just like, who, what is this about? I mean, I imagine a world where you'd never heard of a coma and all of a sudden this is happening. You would have to go see this. It's like sleeping beauty, but in real life, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I wonder if she was the inspo. Maybe. Although I think that came out way long, way before. 1871? Oh, yeah. Isn't it like a Grimm's fairy tale thing? well I don't know anyway

so people tried to wake her up in all sorts of ways I dare don't even want to think about what people if people were touching her I don't even want to know

but Ellen became a tourist attraction in town and her mother welcomed people to view her however it was in hopes that somebody could cure her and wake her up so they charge

I will find out I don't know oh wait here's your answer some people got really weird with it and they would ask Anne after viewing Ellen's body

if they could have strands of her hair as souvenirs. Goodbye. So they could bring it back to their family and say I saw essentially sleeping duty. What the fuck?

Anne was fine with it for a while until so many people wanted strares that Ellen was going fucking bald. What the fuck? Imagine waking up and now you're nine years older

and have no hair. I'm sure it grew back by then. People also started leaving money donations to help the family. Okay, well, that's nice. That's nice, but I also don't know if that's like their workaround of like charging her or being charged. Like, you know, if they're like, we take donations. Give what you can kind of thing. Yeah.

But maybe also I'm like just being like negative and everyone was just very generous. But people started leaving money for the family, which in hindsight was a considerable amount of money. probably enough that they could live off of it, in which case you wonder how much they were requesting of that? Well, they've got 12 kids. Yeah, and they were poor. And now they've got like, basically they've got, but the equivalent of having someone on life support.

Well, the Prince of Wales shows up. He better fucking make a donation, you know what I mean? If he's going to be, like, trying his own weird test of laying his hands on her. You know he tipped poorly for sure. I'm sure he did. I don't doubt that for a second. He was like, I'll give you a hug. I'll sign something.

Yuck. No one asked for that. Uh, so people left money donations. However, they were quite adamant that they were never asking people for donations. People were just doing it. They were saying that quite a lot. Oh, okay. Okay.

At one point, the local government got involved to make sure that Ellen was actually getting proper medical attention and nourishment and she wasn't being exploited and kept under in some way. Right, right, right, right, right. Because a few years before this, there was. a girl in the area named Sarah who allegedly refused to eat but was surviving despite not eating and it turned out that she was actually a victim of what is now Munchaus in my proxy and she died at the hands of her parents who were pretty much using her as a circus attraction using her to make one eat yeah which like couldn't you just feed her and then lie to people and say like look she's not eating it's like you could but that's not the mental illness part sure

And it's still fucked up, but it's like at least. Right. Yeah, I know. Yeah. So, because of what happened to Sarah, the local government was like, we're just checking that she's not another Sarah and you're not slowly killing your kid for money. But Anne was feeding Ellen multiple times a day. However, feeding someone who is unconscious and won't move is hard to do.

So Anne would basically give Ellen a liquid diet by pouring fluids into her mouth probably through a funnel. Or it was like a dropper, like an eyropper. and it was often these were the things that she was feeding her milk tea gruel or port wine whoa um yeah but eventually you know i'm just thinking because like i have to do liquid diets before i get a colonoscopy okay and they say nothing red and i'm always like because you know when they do the test they don't i'm like what about their You know, because, like, red wine? Yeah, what about what was Chardonnay?

And they said, it's not recommended. And I said, well, that leaves a little wiggle room, huh? Yeah, so it's not a full, though. It's a liquid, and it's not red. Not red. You tell me if I shouldn't drink Chardonnay colored things right now or else. I'll tell you that. That's right.

Or else. You know what else is that color? Water. Boom. It's like not, but sort of. It's with a tint of water color, yeah. Yeah. Uh, anyway, so her mom is feeding her basically with an eyedropper, liquid whenever she can.

Although, also remember, she's in the fetal position on her side. Like, I imagine, is she just holding her daughter's neck up? I mean, they would have to probably move her so because of bed sores and all that, you know? That's what I'm thinking, but I don't think we get an answer, like, information on that. Well, you keep finding out that we do, so maybe we do. I'll be amazed with you. Um, so her mom keeps feeding her, but eventually because she's not using her mouth, Ellen's jaw locks shut from

from not moving for years. Right, like atrophies, right? Yeah, so Ann then had to feed Ellen by using, apparently they had like a toy like a little kid teapot with a small enough spout support. Oh my God, that's so sad. Ellen, I guess, had one of her teeth had a chip in it and one of her front teeth. And so

when her jaw locked shut, it was almost like they were grateful that she had this hole because there was a chip in her tooth that they would use this toy teapot and pour it through the hole in her tooth. This poor mother, too, like, on top of having already 12 children and being impoverished and now you're trying to...

Oh, my gosh, this is horrifying. I can't imagine handling this alone, let alone 11 other children that need me. Jesus. Seriously. No wonder at 11 they're going to get jobs. She's like, I can't do this. And then I remember reacting,

and then I was like, wait, I just was saying that, like, in ancient Egypt, that was the same protocol. Like you're with your mom for 10 years and then you kind of go out and start working. Yeah. At least train under someone or someone else takes responsibility.

Yeah. So because of this liquid diet that she was on where hopefully Ellen is swallowing or else it's just dripping down her, I guess. Her weight... She probably can't swallow. It probably is just going down. Yeah.

Because of this, her weight plummet. So, plus with only minimal liquid as her whole diet, her bowels essentially stopped working over time. So she literally had very little solid waste for years, which I can't imagine. Then you wake up and you have to retrain yourself to use the bathroom. You'd have to retrain yourself to eat. Your digestive system probably shuts down.

Like, ooh. And Anne said that every few days, because I'm sure she was interviewed about like, how does she go to the bathroom? And if she's just lying there and you're not moving her for nine years, is that nine years of like pee that's just coming? out of her and she's just sitting in it. But I guess

a lot of her body shut down. But also every few days, apparently just a large amount of pee would essentially fall out of her, which I'm guessing her bladder just would get too full and it would just kind of fall out, which like I wonder if she was also experiencing like insane UTIs.

So sad, yeah. And UTIs can like make you septic, I think. Really sick. Really sick. So no wonder she's out. Oh, this is horrible. There's no end of it. A kidney infection, kidney stones. She's not getting antibiotics, obviously. Throughout the years, she remained unmoved the whole time.

And this is how reporters described how she looked. Okay. So she looked very emaciated and weak-looking with no muscle tone. All of her skin was very soft. Her pulse seemed faint, but from what they could hear or what they could feel, it was a very fast pulse. She had some color in her cheeks and lips, but not so pale. that she looked dead. That's a quote.

Her hair was matted because Anne was too afraid to brush it and hurt her neck. So just nine years of of her hair matting because that was after she made people stop taking strands of it. I guess it grew back and now it's matted.

And another quote is that the eyes are calmly closed as though in heavy sleep. I venture to raise one of the lids and touch the eye beneath but there was not even a quivering of the island. So she's... Don't fucking touch her eye, you fucking weirdo.

I think it was to see if she'd react if she's faking it. I don't care. Don't stick your dirty finger in her eye. That's literally so fucked up. So, but she, and she wasn't reacting is what they discovered, I guess. Her body was warm, but her arms, legs, and feet seemed to have lost circulation because they were ice cold and required hot packs. So that way her arms could, or her arms were fine, but everything else required

hot packs. But her actual, like, middle body was still warm. and had it been cold like everything else, it would have assumed she wasn't with us. Sure. All of her faculties, her fingers and toes, they moved totally fine. Nothing was in rigor.

And this is how life was for a long time, I guess, until 1880, nine years later, and 21-year-old Ellen wakes up from the deepest nap of her life. Shut the fuck up. You know that feeling of like, what year is it when you wake up from a nap? And it's like, girl, it's a...

I'm a decade later for sure um so sadly ellen woke up and didn't seem to know anything had happened or that any time had passed so she's a fucking nine-year-old and a 21-year-old body oh sweetheart i don't know if it's better or worse because if she's like i've been trapped in there for nine years like conscious that could be worse i guess sorry 11-year-old than a 21-year-old body but yeah but i i agree um i mean i can't imagine mentally being what a sixth grader and waking up as a woman. I mean, that's like... Yeah.

And she's incredibly frail. Her body probably hadn't progressed through normal, like, puberty, right? I mean, I imagine it's not... Yeah. That's a great point. She was unable to set up at first. She was incredibly frail.

Probably very scared. And of course, at 11, and something scary happens, and you look different all of a sudden and everyone around you looks older, she probably wanted her mom. And so when she asked her sisters for her mom, her mom had passed away five months earlier five months earlier so she's had to wake up and find out that she just missed her oh i was so i was already worried that she was not going to recognize her mom but

it was that her mom didn't even oh no so her mom never found out that she woke up either that's so sad dr hayman stayed in touch with her all these years stayed in touch with her after the fact too and even had a feeling that she before she woke up he had a feeling that she was going to wake up soon because he visited her three weeks before and remembers asking her to squeeze his hand apparently for like the thousandth time

that he's done this in nine years and it was the first time that she'd squeezed his hand so she was like coming too she was becoming sentient but slowly like three weeks before she actually woke up oh my god well I guess with 1871 medicine Like, I guess if you're coming back at all, it's a miracle.

So Ellen physically healed surprisingly well and surprisingly quickly. The only thing that really was a long-term side effect was that she had bad eyesight, which, like, we don't even know if that's what it came from. But I guess also if your eyes were closed for fucking nine years, maybe you just can't handle light. Well, and it's, I imagine parts of your body just shut down because you're not getting much energy and nutrients. Or your optic nerves just don't move the right way or something. I don't know. But she also moved slower than other people.

I think her muscles were just always a little stiff after that. But she was fine every other way. And a few years later, Ellen ended up marrying and having several kids. And she later passed away in her 50s, which is interesting. But I don't know if that's like because of the time. I don't know. What's the age? I don't know what the life expectancy was in 1871.

Well, it's confusing because I think when you say average, it usually counts for all the infant deaths, and so it really skews the number. So I'm not sure entirely what the actual... But I think that's not... I think 50s is probably not unusual for, like, not super unusual. Okay, sure, fair.

And as for what could have caused her sleeping, doctors never figured it out while she was alive. But, of course, sleeping disorders weren't even on the radar yet. maybe she was in a coma and somehow survived without modern medicine. And the biggest thing we know is that she always complained of being drowsy, had trouble staying awake, and then had a seizure on top of having headaches. So our best guess these days when people look back on her case, they assume she has had severe narcolepsy.

And maybe she also suffered from epilepsy and combined. They were just a one just made the other worse. So they think it was like a coma that it just sent her into a coma or not even a coma? I think the argument is split between either she had a coma that was brought on by a grand mal seizure or she had epilepsy and also incredible narcolepsy and together they just like made a wacky combo and just kept her asleep. I think she was a coma. I think she's had a coma from being in a... Yeah, I mean, that's remarkable. Like today people can't don't survive comas necessarily, right?

and, like, no life support, no, like, um, feeding tube. I mean, no catheter. I just amazing. No antibiotics. Yeah. I, it feels like she was more, I guess the people argued that it might just be severe narcolepsy because how else could she have survived? Right, right.

Without things like IVs and drips in modern medicine. Um, but her symptoms feel more like a coma. It just feels harder to believe that she could survive that on her own and just wake up one day. Yeah, but I mean, either one, like, without getting food and moving and, I mean, it's shocking she survived either way. Yeah. And the other heavily suspected theory is that she was just another case of Munchausen by proxy. Really? Well, remember, it's thought that they were getting a lot of donation money, and maybe Anne was just kind of drugging or subtly poisoning her to keep her asleep so that way they could get the donation money, which the family swore that they were getting a lot of donation money.

which the family swore that they never asked for any money but it's a big theory of like well she was always just barely alive and her mom was always by her side what I didn't say earlier is that the amount of money that they were getting daily was like incredible compared to what everyone else

was getting in the area and Anne also refused to let anyone including doctors be alone with her without her being in the room something as well which you probably will touch on, but she did wake up after her mother passed. Yep. So she refused Ellen being researched by nearby hospitals who wanted to help her.

And like their whole thing was, oh, we only want people to come see her to help her. And yeah, that goes against that. Like to say, like, say in the one room that she can control. She also refused treatment for Ellen when some doctors wanted to try crazy now, but back then it was normal to try electroshock therapy. She said no, which... Not even that crazy now. At this point, I don't even know if I blame her or not for saying no to that

because that, I can't imagine a world where I'd be fine with that, but I wasn't living in that time. Another reason people think that she could have been drugged or poisoned, as you just said, is because she was asleep until Anne died, and shortly after that she woke up. Okay, yeah, so we were going to get there. Good. And some say maybe Ellen was also in on it and was,

walking around when people weren't home, right? Like, that's what I hope, right? Like, that's what I hope because at least as fucked up as that is, at least it means like maybe she had a quality of life, but like, oof. Like, the best hope is that she had a great middle of the night life quality. And then her mom would say something like, oh, since you're staying up late, like, let's give you some medicine so you fall asleep and then just kind of kept putting her to sleep. And like, the Prince of Wales will be here in a few short hours. Wouldn't that be crazy if that was the story that was going on and she actually had no awareness that when she was asleep she was this like attraction and she just thought her mom was giving her like basically

melatonin and she'd wake up and had no idea this was going on i mean maybe that i don't know how i wish melatonin worked that fucking well that you could put a pin under my fingernail and rip my hair out and i'll wake up but i really don't think so yeah you would think she would wake up every now and then and wonder like why her hair's missing especially people are fucking poking her and touching her eyeball and shit. Yeah, I think she didn't know. I think her mom, I don't think she was conscious. I think she was either in a coma or her mom was drugging her. It would feel like the most reasonable, unfortunately reasonable. Yeah. And to your credit when you kept saying like, how would you survive a coma for that long? Like that makes me think even more like you could survive. You could survive your mom

poisoning you if she knew your dosage. But also people have survived crazy shit. So it's like maybe this really was just like a miraculous thing i don't know i don't want to like put all because i don't know enough to say did they have any proof though about the mother or is that all just like it's just all guess because i mean it's so wild yeah um but other reasons people think ellen might have been in on it is because she never had bed sores despite them saying they never moved her for nine years um and it sounds like she was always relatively clean from urine feces blood uh again without being moved for nine years, which maybe her body shut down beforehand,

but like imagine having like your period and not moving for nine years. Like there's gonna be... But again, I don't think she went through puberty probably at least a normal way if she was only 11. That's what I'm saying. I think her body probably shut down

before that happened. Oh, I see. Yeah, yeah. But her... But yeah, urine and feces. Like there would be signs of like maybe not being so clean. Maybe it's because she was emaciated. but what was I going to say at the time that they that this family was alive in the census she should have been listed as quote an invalid in the house and she wasn't so that's another reason that maybe she was awake and walking around was she listed as anything I think she was just listed as just a daughter but at the time she would have been listed as like an invalid is the word right right right it may be rumors that they were hearing in town but some swore at night they would see a girl sitting by the window and she

then again how many of them are there in that house there was fucking 12 kids so it could have been any girl I'm like gasp oh we're saying she's up and at them but people could also be saying oh she's dead and her ghost is walking around so that could be twisted into a million things also when feeding her fluids she somehow didn't drown if her throat wasn't swallowing and like they didn't know any like massage techniques to help that liquid get down you probably do drip drip feeding I guess so I don't know enough about it but that was an interesting point like is she At some point, did she ever swallow or did how they figure out how to feed her? Yeah, I don't think you can swallow. I mean, I don't know. What do I know? What the fuck? I also don't know.

But the last reasoning that she might have been involved in this is because she recovered a little too quickly, like, without her body having atrophied. Mm. Despite all this, though, Dr. Hayman at least swears he believes that she was either paralyzed or unconscious the whole time. And he also believes that the family never moved her from that one position. He believes they were telling the truth. When Anne died, the rest of the family was asked about their involvement with Ellen and if their mother could have been faking. And the stepdad got weirdly shady about it. He said, Thomas?

Thomas, yeah. Anytime they were like, could your wife have been causing this? He pretty much always just said, I don't know nothing. I don't know nothing. He's like, what's not over there? He pretty much, his excuse every time was, I was always at work. I don't know. Yeah, I mean, that's weird.

You should at least be like, obviously not. That's really insane. Yeah, you'd be like, she literally spends every weight in second taking care of her. Like, fuck you. Even though it was in the 1870s, Ellen in her family's house still stands. It has been nicknamed as Sleepy Cottage. Oh, my God. How charming.

How charming. And fun of fact, Sleepy Cottage was Tom's house in the movie. movie, Good Night Mr. Tom. What hell is that? It's a movie. And also, it was used in the, it was also used the BBC sitcom The Vicar of Dibbley. Stop acting like these are things I'm supposed to know. And don't tell me it's a TV show, because I already figured that out.

I will tell you as an American who's never heard of the Vicar of Dibley, it sounds like something AI created. Okay, wait, listen, there is a bit on my brother, my brother, me. I think they only did it like one time where Justin brought all these titles of British BBC or like British shows and then made his brother's guess which ones were real and which ones he made up. That's great. And they were like, they got them like all wrong, I think. Yeah. Because it's like, how could any of this be real? The dribbly, dibbley, whatever the fuck like is. And then he would read the description and it would be like even more insane. And it would be like,

that can't be real. Nope, it's been running for 32 years on the BBC. Well, my last bullet point, which apparently I wrote, I certainly, I think it's very silly. I'm so funny. Um, you are. I wrote in parentheses at the very bottom, imagine as a follower of the story for a decade, the day you hear she woke up, the town crier would have been very busy that day. You have been channeling him this whole episode and now is your time to shine. Here you, here you. No, what do you say? Extry, exter. Oi mista. I don't know. Oh, mister. Or a wooden nickel. I don't know who I would be more excited to be. If I got to be reincarnated in a, in a body in that location, the day that everyone found out,

do I want to be someone who's been following her case as if it's like the closest thing to pop culture I have finding out she woke up or do I want to be the town crier that gets to tell everyone now that you we want to be that no we know we know we both we want to be that yes there's imagine you like I don't know what the 1870s you think we're doing right now we're literally town criering stories that happened a hundred some years ago the 1870s equivalent of going holy shit like I yeah like tiger beat breaking news. I don't know where you would even post that. Who do you run to first? Do you go to the pub, the tavern, the square? Where do you go? For sure, the pub, right? The tavern. The pub and tavern,

they're going to give you the best reaction, right? I would imagine, because they're there for some socializing and some. And there, sorry, there was no PR marketing team back then. Like, like, the town crier had to sit with himself and himself alone and be like, how am I going to play this? Like, let's strategize this. Do I create an event and I tell everyone at once so I get the loudest gasps or do I just every person I stumble upon I'm just screaming it frantically at that. And do I start like low bar like tell my dad and mom and they're going to be like I don't care? Or do I go and like start really big and be like holy shit everybody gather around? Or do I save it and like and I go I know something you don't know. For the perfect

moment. One day you'll you'll be deserving of this information. I don't know. I don't know. God it says a lot of responsibility. So much power. I love that we both said power and responsibility in the same moment. What are we, fucking Spider-Man? Anyway, this is Ellen Sadler and the Sleeping Girl of Turville, a.k.a. the Sleeping Girl of Turvill. Whoa. It's like one of those stories that I didn't expect to be on the verge of a true crime.

Yeah. You know, it's been on my list for a while as like an unsolved mystery. And it's like, I'm sure you should have to solve a mystery. We might not even ever solve that because it's probably like, like it's one of these two things and like yeah there's probably no way to know which unfortunately but there's almost no reason to even try to figure out what happened because we all kind of know enough about what happened i do feel like a little bit bad don't mind me couldn't if i tried i do feel a little bit like i don't want to just shit on the mom because it's like i don't know

you know i don't have any proof i don't want to be like well um you know uh what do you call circumstantial and also like there are other people in the house right like that's a good point fucking stepdad was involved or something honestly could have been the stepdad I mean he was acting shady when he got asked about it he's like I'm at work all the time and she's like the second youngest right so like who knows I'm not I mean I'm not blaming them either I'm just saying like you know could have been a lot of number of people involved or could have just been a fucking Guinness Booker World Records situation could have been the doctor he was there

I don't know maybe not but it could be anyone you're right like we we truly don't know but either someone was responsible or it was or no one was responsible or god so that's it that's all I got for you wow good job M

what a fucking tail what type of red is that thank you so much for asking it's a cab teen crimes cab it is I had a feeling I just can smell it on you. It's a firm and full.

Good thing that it's a firm and full with a rich mouth feel. I love a rich mouth feel. Aromatics of dark berries, violets, and vanilla. So I'm thinking it smells. Huh. Rich mouthfeel. I don't know. Here's a question for you.

What does savory mean to you? What's the definition of savory? To me it means, I mean, I'm sure I'm probably not even correct. But to me, a savory means just not a sweet dish, not a dessert. Right? I think I don't know what savory means. And no matter who explains it to me, I can't figure it out. Savory versus sweet.

Those are the two. No, but then they're salty. No, no, no, but that's savory. Salty is savory. Yeah. So I think anything that's not like a sweet treat is savory. Because here's the thing. There are so many times where I say in front of Allison, like, we're eating something

and it tastes so good. I'm like, oh, it's so savory. She's like, this literally isn't savory. It's like the opposite. Yeah. Okay, so of savory means of food, parentheses, of food belonging to the category that is salty or spicy rather than sweet. So it's like any spice or saltiness that's not sugar, basically. I think in my mind, savory and hearty are the same thing.

Or rich. Because I feel like a creme brulee could be like a rich, but it's not savory. Because like you want to savor it. Yeah. You know what I mean? I know. It's kind of a misleading term. But so like I think like I had like chicken pot pie in front of Allison was like, oh, so.

savory and she's like that's it's not no that is that is savory is it well fuck you alison if you had a if you had a key lime pie that's not savory no i wouldn't i wouldn't call that savory no it's basically just a pro prober it's basically a flavor profile that's not dessert the second alison hears this i'm gonna i'm gonna hear it what does she think it means i don't know i don't know that's why i can't figure it every time she says it i'm then confused about i don't even know what she's saying so I can redefine it from my own head but it also has a culinary overlap with umami so if that that's what she says she says umami and i don't know what that is either that one is a little beyond my comprehension okay well it means savory idiot okay well it says it overlaps idiot so don't even

start truly in my mind i think i just think savory just means like a chicken pop pie and kind of nothing else. No, I mean, it does. A savory. Oh, but you're saying like, instead of like a rich thing, like a you're saying it like a hearty thing. Yeah, I think it's like hearty carbs, like fall autumnal meals. You're not wrong.

It's not the only thing that it means, but it is in the category. I'll never understand. It's kind of similar to wanton or wanton or whatever it is. I still don't totally, I don't really want to know at this point what the difference is. I just know that I'm wrong and I'm okay with that. You don't want to know. Want them. No. Yeah. That's right. Wow. Okay. Well, good thing I don't want to tell you. So now it's time for my story, which, although I did do the notes, like we said, a couple weeks ago, I did take it upon myself to prepare. So don't worry everyone. I'm not just at least one of us.

At least one of us. And thankfully, the true crime half. So, uh, good point. you know that really um annoying trait that a lot of partners do which i'm also guilty of where someone's trying to cook in the kitchen and the other one wants to talk to you but they are just in your way they're standing in front of every drawer you need i have unfortunately become that person when alison is cooking hungry root because i just have to watch i just want to see all that all what's going on earlier this week i had their chicken and bell pepper alfredo hungry root takes stress out of grocery shopping by filling your cart with personalized selections that get smarter with every order from smoothies and kids snacks, I call those M snacks, to sweets, salad kits, supplements,

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Hungryroot.com slash drink code drink. now that autumn is upon us folks uh you might be going on a cute little harvest festival date soon like christina and i did when we first met uh maybe you just want to feel cozy and look slamming in your own home all of that is possible with quince we have talked about how much we love quince i've i've told you christine's told you i recently just bought a cashmere i know a cashmere henley i've never really owned any cashmere because you look at me and you think cashmere's not what i would expect from you but at these prices is cashmere is kind of my vibe think 100% Mongolian cashmere for $50 and washable silk tops and skirts and perfectly tailored denim all the prices that feel too good to be true it's kind of the wardrobe upgrade that feels smart and stylish it's effortless you're going to look great they sell a knit blazer that looks really sharp a trench coat which i've only ever known people to buy those to like sell like a hundred watches uh at one time but you know what you might as well go to quince get yourself a nice look in trench coat. People are going to want your watches. You know what I'm saying? Keep it classic and cozy this fall with long lasting staples from Quince. Go to quince.com slash drink for free shipping on your order and 365 day returns. That's Q-U-I-N-C-E.com slash drink to get free shipping and 365-day returns. Quince.com slash drink. I want to start off with a correction I wrote for myself at the top of the notes several

weeks ago, which now has probably just made everyone angry and I haven't corrected it, but I'm going to do it now. I'm embarrassed about this. It was the podcast that I mentioned. It's called Stuff You Should Know, S-Y-S-K. And a lot of people were like, Christine, it's not things you should know or whatever the fuck I said. It's stuff you should know. And I talked about their podcast and how good it was. Like, please, please know that I meant stuff you should know. S-Y-S-K. I don't think that's anything to be embarrassed about. Well, I was just embarrassed because I gave them so much credit. And then I talked about a different show or like the wrong podcast and I mean I don't know if the other show even exists I don't know what I said but people were like oh like just pointing out it's because we have

a lot of overlap kind of like umami and whatever the fuck word we're the savory ones I'll tell you that oh well that's there's no doubt and Allison don't even start um don't please Allison I'm not in the mood I'm not now or when you hear this don't even mess with me not today so I was embarrassed about that because I, not embarrassed, but I was like, I should probably correct that. And now we're going to tell a story. This is a story. It's a sad one, of course. It's a story of Blaise Nathan Bernstein. Okay. Yes. Same name as my husband. Same first name. We'll get to that. Just after the new year in 2018, 19 year old, Blaze Bernstein was gearing up for the second half of his sophomore year of college. He was home for winter break soaking up the last days with

his family and friends in California. He lived in Orange County before it was time to fly back to Pennsylvania. He was super close with his family. He was the eldest of three children. He got along with his younger brother and sister. Their names were Jay and Bowie, which I think is so cute, Blaise Jay and Bowie. I feel like our very fun, like sibling names. They feel like they're in a band. I know. I know. They should be. And Blaze is with a Z, if anyone's wondering. But again, I love that. We'll get to that. So the siblings grew up together in Lake Forest, which is an affluent town in Orange County. It's about an hour south of L.A. Their parents, Gene and Gideon, were originally from L.A., but they moved south, as many people do, to kind of a quieter,

you know, well-to-do area because it's known for being safe and good for families and so on. So their family, despite kind of moving to this sort of what you might call like a sheltered, well-to-do area, they were not unfamiliar with the harsh reality of the world. because his Romanian-born grandmother, whom he was also really close with Leah Bernstein, is actually, to this day, a living survivor of the Holocaust. And that was a really important relationship to him growing up. There was a video somewhere of him doing a presentation on the Holocaust at, like, age 10 or something. Like, this was just a very important part of his life and what he wanted to share with the world.

So it was crucial to Gene and Gideon, his parents, and their entire extended family that the children would grow up in a place where they could be themselves and be confident in who they were. And Blaze himself as the eldest, he was named for his grandfathers, Nathan N. Chaim, but he was also named after 17th century French mathematician, physicist, and religious philosopher, Blaise Pascal. Oh, wow. And that is what I said the moment I met Blaze. He said, I'm Blaise.

And I said, I said, like, Blaze Pascal, and he was like, nobody ever says that. And then I imagine that's, I did. And I imagine that's when he fell in love with me, but I think it's probably not because I think it was probably a weird thing to say. I was holding a Bud Light platinum. And I said, I said, oh, like Blaise Haskell, and it gets worse because then he was like kind of trying to like, I guess, show off. And he said that his aunt one time had met Donald Trump. First of all, I said, who's Donald Trump? So that felt really good.

And I hope you say that forever, too. I wish I could. And honestly, I wish to go back to that day to that time when I didn't know. And he's like, you know, celebrity apprentice. And I was like, I don't watch it like that. Turns out Lisa Lampinelli, wonderful Lisa Lepin was on the show. I really just kind of said everything but probably what I was supposed to say. But it worked. And every time I introduced him to my family, they're like, oh, Blaise Pascal. And I'm like, please stop. But for Blades, it was also a family name. So I don't know. But I love that they took that. And then they were like, but we'll do a Z. Just make it a little more exciting. Sure. I mean, when I met Blaze, I don't know if I said it, but my first thought was, oh, like, fire. Everybody thinks it is. Yeah, which makes sense. I mean, that's a name, too, obviously, but I kind of love it. I was like, at first, like, I would get annoyed when people would think there was a Z in it. And now I'm like, no, that's kind of kick ass. No, I'm such a, the only reason I like my last name is because there's a Z in there. It's good. A Z is so,

you don't see Z is enough. It's a rare, it's like a rare Pokemon card. You're so right. I'm so glad you even said that. It didn't even occur to me, but that's so specially of a Z in your name. Thank you. It is. Hang on. Hang on. Hang on. Let me just do a little spin. Thank you. That, I needed that. I really did look like, almost like a spotlight came down to me. It's trying my imagination, but you really just twirled. Yeah. Okay, sorry, Blaze. So Blaze is named after Blaze Pascal, which drunk 22-year-old me was like, oh my God, like the mathematician. and Blaze was like, I don't know, maybe, yes.

Okay. So Blaze's family knew this kid was special. His mom said when he was born, she looked at him and was like, this is just a special human. He was indeed very special. He was described by many of his classmates as a Renaissance man. He was pretty much good at everything. He loved math, science, religion, philosophy, music, literature, food.

He was doing public speaking. He was trying to spread word about anti-Semitism. he was endlessly curious about the world and he flew under the radar but a lot of people who knew him well described him as practically a genius but also like a really loving person which I feel like is a hard kind of thing to find smart and loving I feel like you're either too smart that you're a little too sheltered socially or you're so social it's hard to find that balance I'll tell you I'm way too social I couldn't tell you about I couldn't you think about knowledge not me exactly i can say blaze pascal that's about where it ends um but yes so

he was very friendly very outgoing and he had a very sharp sense of humor um but he also was pretty introverted uh and never you know went out of his way to seek attention um he was not quite out for glory but he did struggle to make friends he was kind and goofy um but he was bullied every single day at school and just never felt like he could quite fit in. He wanted to get out of the public school system. So he auditioned for OSHA. And I'm thinking OSHA, like OSHA. Yeah, okay. I thought the same thing. I was wrong. You're wrong. We're all wrong. It's called the Orange County School of the Arts. And it's an elite school. Did you have an arts school? Because we had one called, and this is like funny because I feel like it's similar where it was called, it's called the SP.

Sorry, S-CPA Society for Creative and Performing Arts, but then there's like the SPCA, and so we'd always, I'd always mix them up in my head anyway. We never had an art school, but we had a, we had two private schools. I went to one of those. And on our building, it said, fine math and arts, but then- Fine. I know, but then the seniors one year replaced the F-F-N-F-N-F-N-FARTS, and moved over to art, so it said math and farts. I thought that's fine. Please, that's so good. no we had in our in our school if you were part of um what's it called like like the main organization where you try to make like community events and things like that um it was called sofa because it was the student organization of f a where i went to school oh sofa got it and so if you were like the president of sofa i don't know what if you're the king what if you're the sofa king i'm talking trust you don't think 17 year olds I know. I'm trying to fit in.

I know. But, oh, you're right on track, though. Anyway, so we didn't have an art school, but a lot of our acronyms because we, our school was FAA, like, we were on the tennis team. This is like, they were called like, this is fucked up now, but in high school is called the fat team. I know what you're going to say. There's so many fart, fat, I mean, like FAA already lends itself to a lot of. And of course, all the mean girls were on the basketball team. And, of course, they were called Fab. And I was like, shut up.

That's so annoying. I'm just sitting there on the Fat Girls team. Oh, that's so fucking annoying. I know. So, so FAA got a lot of play whether or not you liked it. But it was just easy. And we were 17 and it was easy to do. It writes itself.

Yeah. What about you? What was your school newspaper called? Did it have a fun name? No. Our mascot was the falcon. And so it was called the, the falcon flyer oh that's pretty cool falcons fly our arts thanks our um unlike penguins um

fun fact not everyone knows uh our our school had an arts magazine that i was uh not invited to join even when i applied and it was called ellipsis dot dot that feels like something i would have been i got bullied out of that like that's people teenagers are so mean sometimes senior year they let me write an article and then they changed like the spelling of some of the things in there and it was wrong and then everyone was like you spelled all these things wrong and I was like the editor of the newspaper did that you know our what was your yearbook called my year's paper what was your year called um okay we are my year didn't even have an year book what we didn't have one and then like a year later someone was like well just because everyone hated our class and our class hated ourselves we were like weird black sheep class that like when we graduated all the teachers said thank god oh my god i know and it's like looking back i'm like my brother has all these fond memories and i'm like we were not well liked at that school our whole class i don't know what it was we didn't even get a yearbook we did eventually but it was all misspelled it just had a bunch of photos like on pages they didn't

give a shit well i was going to say um i was on the yearbook team they call it the rostrum though i don't know the rostrum sounds like sounds like callostrum they needed to sound hoity toity so they call it the summit rostrum you could just call it the roster what assholes um roster is like a roster of students i think what is that what the book is i don't know am i didn't get a yearbook didn't i tell you that already okay sorry mine was called the talon and i were we oh that's good falcons and we had um i i i kind of well i like during the yearbook as like an elective but also because I'd gone to the school like my whole fucking life my last name was constantly misspelled in the yearbook and I was like yes I'm gonna make

sure that doesn't happen sick of that shit and then even when I was on the yearbook team so many pages of me my name that makes me feel so much better because after the whole thing of changing my spellings in my thing and I was like even I write my own article and they spelled my name wrong and spell it like fuck off like what is that it's you know your i and e and a c or an h or both Someone said, super badass. Someone called, mispronounced my last name, reading it this week, and it was Skulls. Hell yeah, brother. You know what I'm saying?

How would we never even come up with that? M. Skulls. And I went, that's absolutely me. How is not a single listener, probably somebody has, but how is not a single listener been like, hey, if you pronounce your name differently? I might as well, as long as I get to keep the Z. We're all good. That's cool.

Sheifer, I can't help you. No, trust me, I've tried. It's a lost cause. Okay. Wow. Okay. So he applies or auditions, I guess, or tries to get into this really preppy, not preppy, but like, really, what you call it? Performance arts. To do acting or like music or like, what's his, what's his thing? Well, you will see. So he, so it's called the Orange County School of the Arts. It describes itself as providing students in grades seven through 12 rigorous college preparatory academic program and pre-professional arts. training and probably math and farts too, but I don't know about that. Admission to OSHA is competitive. The school boasts famous alumni like actors Pedro Pascal, Justice Smith, and Dante

Basco. Holy crap. Plays had loved creative pursuit since he was little. He was always in the school plays. He was always putting on puppet shows. And so he wanted to pursue performing arts and creative writing at OSHA. And he made it in and he finally felt like he had found his place. He thrived there. He made friends. He finally felt like, oh, this is the kind of high school experience that I've wanted. He was a very good writer. He took advanced science classes. He competed in chemistry tournaments. And then on the weekend, nerd, he worked at the synagogue on the weekends. And then when he had time off, he went to national parks to enjoy nature. We're a good boy. I know. He wanted to do it all. And he was doing it all.

he had a lot of people who admired him and his teachers even said like he wouldn't even accept that like he would have been surprised by that because he just wasn't the type to be like looking for accolades so when he received an acceptance to an ivy league school nobody was surprised and he entered the university of pennsylvania as a pre-med student in the class this is crazy the class of 2020 his studies focused on math and science but he held on to his love for writing and he would actually, this actually goes exactly into our conversation. He was a contributor to Penn Appetit, which was their university food magazine, the student-run food magazine. Are you kidding me? I'm the first on that subscription list. I was going to say to get the magazine, sign me up to write op-eds, sign me up for all of them. They call the blurbs or derbs.

They better have. You and I could really get into this. We could really shake some things up at this place. Maybe for our YAPI hour, we just talk about what we would have in a food magazine. Let's make our own magazine. I mean, we do have the Xenon Gazette. Yeah, we'll make the Xenon Gazette, but like the foodie version. Yeah.

We could come up with things that Zinon would eat if she had a food magazine. Frappuccino's. It could spiral quickly. We could do. Yeah, it'll be good. It'll be good. So Blaze became a dedicated lover of all things food and food writing. There were photos of him, like, posing with, like, a chef hat and, like, a thing for the magazine.

It's, it's really cute. He found this kind of, like, side niche hobby that he didn't realize he would love so much. And so when he would go home, I mean, this is my dream. I'm holding out hope for Leona. He would show off all the new, like, recipes and culinary skills he had learned while he was away. And his parents would just sit there and be like, oh, my God. Like, our son is just serving us gourmet meals. Blaise's grandfather, Richard, said with admiration,

I wish I could write like he wrote. I wish I could cook like he cooked. He was just a very talented kid. Yeah. On Wednesday, January 3rd, 2018, the Bernstein's woke up to a usual day at home in California. Blaze would soon be returning to school after winter break. And the night before, Blaze's grandfather had actually brought up his name.

And Blaze didn't know until this point that he was named after Blaze Pascal. I guess he hadn't met me to scream in his face yet. I would have told him. That was, you know, you listed all these accolades about him. And the only problem, he doesn't know me. Yep. You know what? I feel I have one up finally.

And so that's powerful for me. So he was really kind of delighted about that. He didn't know. And so his parents said, you know, we're just really proud of you. And you're kind of like proving your own namesake, which is just really cool. And he himself couldn't wait to get back to school. Had a lot to look forward to. in the morning, which was Wednesday, Gene decided to let him sleep until his dentist appointment

while she went to yoga. But throughout the morning, she's reaching out to him by text saying like, hey, you're ready for this appointment? Are we going to meet there? And she thought, like, okay, maybe he'll just meet me when I arrive. But she got there and Blaze never showed. And that's when her heart started to sink because she called her husband, Gideon, and they both realized this is not right because it's not like him to ignore his phone. It's not like him to miss an appointment. And they both got immediately worried thinking like, well, where could he have gone or what could be wrong? And Gideon then asked Gene, do we know for a fact that Blaze stayed in the house last night? Like, what if he left? And that is when her stomach really dropped because

she hadn't even considered that like maybe he left last night. She hadn't checked in on him. She he had left the door closed and said he can sleep in. So that fact added a whole other level of panic. Like, oh, God, has he been gone? Yes, exactly. Like a whole night longer than they thought. So she's terrified. She's like, I don't even know where he could be.

So Gideon rushes home from work finds Blaz's room empty. But Blaz's glasses, wallet, and keys were there along with his luggage, which was packed and ready for school. Not good. Not good. his siblings had not heard from him his friends had not heard from him gideon tried to use find my find my friends on the app to see where blaze might be but his location was turned off and that was also very unusual the family cell phone carrier confirmed that no recent calls had been made from blaze's phone

and it was like he had just vanished and turned his phone off out of the blue that day when it got dark and blaze still wasn't home his parents called the local sheriff and at first they were dismissive right? Like, he's an adult teenager. He's home on school break. You know, he's probably out partying or with friends. But when the Bernstein's insisted that something was not right, the sheriff finally agreed to file a missing person's report. Bowie, meanwhile, texted all of Blaze's friends that she could think of. They were really close, he and his sister, so she kind of knew his circle. And everyone said, well, I heard from him yesterday, but nobody had heard from him since that night. Horrifying. Horrifying. The Bernstein's logged into

Blaz's computer, but there was no useful information. And then Bowie, great sister move, thought, why don't we check his Snapchat? That's right. That's a sister for you. Yeah. I know all of his passwords. I'll find it 30 seconds or less. Yep. Don't need face ID. I've got this. So they log into his Snapchat and he's often communicating with friends on there. And they didn't have his phone, right, but they had his password saved in the ICloud keychain. So they're able to log in from someone else's phone, and they knew that this was a little, like, risky because it's Snapchat, and there are snaps there, and they're like, well, if I click them, right, they usually self-delete some last. I mean, I haven't used Snapchat since literally, probably the time I was dating

Blaze, like 10, 12 years ago or whatever. Yeah, you know, I haven't touched Snapchat in years, and I have one friend who still sends me snaps all the time, and I'm like, girl, let it go. dude no but the young people use it now like my sister's on it oh my sister has been on that app for years every single day like she has like she and her friends have like hundreds if not no i thought so too and it was just that they hit it from us they were like you're too old no i see okay and they took it over um and now the youngans use it and i know this only because my sister's like and her friends are always on it and clearly from this case in this case um you know it's 2018 he's still using Snapchat or Snapchat with his friends. So they log in and they're able to see that there are these unread messages. But also, you know, if you take a screenshot, right, like the other person's notified. And if you view it, then they know you viewed it and it might disappear. So even if there were clues here, it's like a, it's like a, it feels like a live wire thing.

Like you really have to be so. careful because you can like miss something you know yeah so luckily one major clue had not been deleted yet blaze had sent his home address to someone at 10 p.m. the night before the night well that's immediately prime suspect number one to me correct bowie was surprised to not recognize the name at all the name was sam woodward and she said i love the sister i love this family she said, dad, you call him. I'll record the conversation. Bad a girl. Fucking yes. Yes. Thank you. And so that's what they did. Gideon called. Sam picked up. First of all, he didn't pick up. And then they messaged him like, please answer the phone.

And he did. Which I'm like, couldn't be me. If someone told me, if I don't answer the phone and then they say, please answer it. I go, actually, I'll less answer it. Send me a picture of the body you need me to identify. Because there's no other reason you need to call me for that intense. of a thing and I'm also not a good answer. I'm not going to answer ever, especially if you want me to. Sorry. It's just I have a contrary personality. I can't do it. So he finally picks up, thankfully. And he says, oh yeah, this is Sam. Yeah, I did hang out with Blaze last night. It turns out that Blaze and Sam were former high school classmates at OSHA. But the reason that his family didn't know about Sam is because he was a couple years older and he had actually left the art school and graduated from a different school in 2016 so they said well tell us about when you last saw him sam says he picked blaze up he sent him

his dress he picked plays up the night prior and they drove to barago park to meet another one of blaze's friends and they said okay which friend he said i don't know i don't know his name i don't know the guy so you hung out with him last night apparently yep yep so they arrive at the park and blaze gets out of the car but apparently sam has a weird feeling about the situation so he hung back while Blaze approached another man and the pair walked away. After a while, Sam says he did get out of the car to find Blaze, but now it was dark. He didn't see anyone.

He said he called out Blaze's name. No one answered. And Sam said he was scared, or maybe he thought that Blaze was pulling a prank, or maybe he had just ditched him. And when he was sure Blaze wasn't coming back, Sam was like, so I just drove home and assumed he would call me in the morning, but he didn't. So he just, truly just said, just ditched him and said, I'm sure he'll get back to him.

to me eventually. Hmm. Okay. Interesting. So Sam encouraged Gideon, the dad, to call back if he had any more questions. That's so nice. Yeah. And you said, you know, and you can hear the call.

And that's why I'm like, thank God for this sister. Thank God for this family. Because in the documentary I watched, and I think it was a 48-hour documentary, whatever you call it, episode. Mm-hmm. And the family's being interviewed and stuff. And they play this footage of the dad on the phone. and you can hear this guy say, I'm going, you know, I'm really worried about him.

It's like, are you? Are you? Yeah. Yeah. So, yeah. Yeah, okay. Because I feel like no matter, I mean, I don't remember what I was like in my 20s necessarily or how I would react to this. But I think I'd at least be, I'd be like, holy shit, he's not home.

I don't know. Like, how can I help versus like. Yeah. I'm so worried. Anyway. And be like, oh, call me back if you have any more questions. Like, yeah, I do have questions. Where the fuck is my son?

Like, what, what do you mean? Like, why did you abandon him in the woods with a shady random person you don't know in the name of? Correct. And who are you? Like, what the fuck? And how did, yeah, how does he know you? This is so shady. And so, right, so they have this conversation. They thankfully, they film the call, everything like that. And he said, oh, call me back. I really want to know what happened. Fucking asshole.

You know what happened, buddy. Yeah. The Bernstein's contacted the sheriff who searched the park for anything out of the ordinary. They didn't find anything. So detectives brought Sam into the sheriff's office to follow up. and he told them the same story that he had told Gideon. Now the officers are getting concerned because the neighborhood beside Brego Park

backed up to a pretty expansive wilderness area. And when I'm saying expansive, I mean speaking of like areas like L.A. where you think, oh, you're in a city, there are thousands of acres of trails, hills, canyons. You know, like the second you get out of these places, especially in California, like you're in wilderness once you kind of go out of your bubble.

There's more than one mouse. There's one. No. Are you sure? I don't know. My backyard's pretty scary. Me? Oh, my God.

Stuart Large? Stewart Large. Okay, so the officers became more concerned because of this, like, fact of all these trails and wilderness. And if he had gone there at night, even just with innocent reasons, he could be in trouble, he could have gotten hurt, he could be, someone else could have harmed him, he could be lost, who knows. So some people thought maybe he's.

lost in suffering from exposure of course there could be a wild animal i mean we were just talking about this mountain lions um some people suggested maybe he died by suicide but his family was like no we literally packed his bags as like last night like he's not that wasn't sure no he was an extremely happy person he was so excited about his future he really felt like he he actually spent the whole winter break like talking about all his goals and plans um and he sounds like he's like not that this isn't this isn't a sign of anything but i mean he sounded super active like you had a bunch of responsibilities that he was enjoying and i think a lot of times and that's part of it because the family said we didn't notice any psychological changes in him we didn't notice

her treating we didn't notice him like being gloomy or depressed you know nothing like that so of course if he is trapped somewhere or lost time is of the essence um so they launched these enormous searches where authorities and volunteers scour the area for blaze they use uh dogs helicopters drones people on Foot. Blaise's Synagogue congregation put up thousands of flyers. And the Bernstein's having come from L.A. and having worked in L.A., they had some celebrity contacts. And I just love how like savvy these people are because they're like, who can we get the word, how do we get the word out? So they get Kobe Bryant, Charlie Puth, Kareem Abdul-Jabbar to post about Blaise's case. Oh my God. Yeah. This is, they're trying to get the word out. It seemed impossible he wouldn't

be found with the extensive searching. But as days went by with no news, his family started to lose hope. And his mom, Gene, feared they may never find him and worse, not ever know what happened to him. This is where Blaz's best friend from childhood, Raya Rofsky, comes in. When her mom called her to tell her Blaze was missing and that he was last seen with someone named Sam Woodward, Raya gasped. Her mom said, do you know Sam Woodward? And she said, yes, he's crazy. that's a quote oh shit and she was beside herself like why the fuck is he with sam woodward

yeah why would he pick that if he if his best friend thinks that if his best friend thinks like what on earth was he doing that's how you know yeah and so according to raya when sam still went to osha before he left he was withdrawn he was serious he was like not a lighthearted person at all he didn't have a a core friend group and not only that he had a reputation as being sexist, homophobic, racist, just like a shithead. Yeah, okay. A bad dude. Yeah.

And Raya literally said she could not think of anyone more unlike Blaze. Huh. Like, let alone someone to hang out with one-on-one. Was he, like, doing, like, charity work? I don't know. Like, was he, like, a pity hangout? I mean, like, was there something that, like, they, had they re-met in, like, a different, like, in one of his clubs or something? And, like, maybe he was giving him another.

chance or i don't know you're on the right path here i think raya was able to crack the case wide open because ryan knew something crucial about blaze that not everyone else did oh blaze was gay you don't seem shocked well i i did the little as soon as you said she knew something he didn't oh oh oh oh oh oh oh you knew it okay hold on sorry you missed my little my little wrist moment oh i didn't see it wait do it again hold Oh, because the screen I can only see part of you And I was like, I didn't know what you're doing yet

Precisely Hey girl Where did she go? Oh, she's going to get glass. This story makes me just really upset So was he Was Sam Woodward Sam Woodward

Oh, no. Do you see what's happening? Do you see what's happening here? Why I got the wine? So Sam Woodward is a homophobe and tricked him, started flirting with him or something and tricked him on to like, let's go on a date. Ding fucking ding.

So that he could then assaults. Ding fucking ding. And kill a gay man because. I wish I could say like, oh, thank God. No, that's literally. it's a hate crime it's yeah it was what's i don't know what the right word there's a phrase for it maybe you'll get to but there's there's a phrase for it when like there are bigots with the plan to trick people on dating sites to then i mean it's the same thing that like horrible men would do to

trap a woman you know it's like oh come on the state with me and then all of a sudden like they're in a bad position you know violence yeah it's it's it's it's it's it's hate fueled it's um yeah not victim blaming at all but why did he think oh sam woodward's the guy for me if we guess what you'll find out and it's actually more disturbing because it feels like something any one of us might fall for yeah not even fall for but just like agree to oh shit i don't i know i know okay it's wait i think i know i'll wait you tell the story i think i know okay sure i don't want to like keep ruining why don't you say it and if it's if it's not that we can okay uh i I think that he said, I think I'm gay and I really need some help talking, talking about it to

somebody. Can you come help me? Not quite, sort of, a little bit, a little bit. Like he said, he, he, he did say something like, I'll make an exception for you. We'll get to it. But it's, it's almost even more, it's almost more innocent than that. Like, it's something, okay, we'll get to it. Okay. You'll understand when you hear it, because it's just. I've never seen you break out two glasses for the same bottle of wine so it's got to be bad well didn't you already pour wine earlier and no i just opened the bottle and then i realized they don't have a wine glass so i've just been staring at an open bottle for a while and it's why haven't you just been drinking it by the bottle i'm not going to judge you because i'm telling you terrible story i don't want

to be you know making light of it i figured i might as well you know be have a little bit of decorum um for once in my fucking life i guess one of us maybe i know earlier i range on this shirt and I just remembered I never changed it. It looks great. Hang on a second. Joey Construction is calling me. Please stand by. We have to step away and go get mine.

Answer the door. I really like Joey Construction. I do too. He's a really good guy. Joey Construction is hysterical. It sounds like Bob the Builder's like off-brand cousin. He, uh, well, I'm Joey Construction.

Is this a hammer or a wrench? I have no idea what his company or his last name is. But his wife, I guess, is big on doing surprises. Joanne Construction. Joanne Construction. But so when I told him, like, I need this all done by the time my girlfriend comes home, he was like, okay, well, tell me what things to email you to, and things that she doesn't have access to,

and we'll only work from there, and oh, make sure you take pictures of this because she'll want the before and after her. And I was like, Joey Construction. I was what the fuck is going on. it's not his first rodeo man i don't like the prices that he's giving me but joey construction also said i can do all of it under a week so joey construction gets whatever he wants just give joey what he wants i think he's trying to make me a long-term client which i know he probably does with everybody but i have we have a rapport that i think he's trying to hold on to hey that's important yeah and

sometimes i feel like i could sometimes i feel like you don't have that rapport even when the person's perfectly nice so I feel like that's a good thing to I don't know if I'm being swindled by the salesman of him though like he we were on the phone earlier and I I'm having well hang on I almost said I'm having money problems that's not true I'm having credit card I was like we are I'm having an issue with my credit card I I never got it activated in time and so I have to now go to a physical bank and activate so I was so he's just like on good faith doing this work and I haven't even paid him like an initial fee. Oh, well, that's a good fucking sign. And he even said, he was like, no, I really trust you. Like, you're like, like, one of my best clients. And I was, he was like,

you're, and I was like, I feel like you say that to everybody, Joey construction, but okay, I'll take it. But also, that probably means you're giving him all sorts of good work, you know? I certainly am. I was like, what do you think about this? What do you think about this? And I did tell him, I was like, I wanted to be like, witchy cottage. He was like, I know exactly what that means. Don't worry. Oh, what? I need to find me, I need to find me a Joey construction over here. Anytime you need construction in L.A., I've got one for you, so. All right. Anyway, sorry to interrupt, but I was worried that, like, the house fell down, so.

Sure. And it didn't? The, a wall did. Yeah. What? Well, he's putting in an arch, so he had to knock out the old one to reframe it. I was like, do you need to go handle that? On purpose. He took a big old hammer to it, so. Okay, okay, got it. And he's, like, just called to let you know. He was like, I let you know the wall is gone.

so good job i when when we're done recording i'll check my security camera and see what it looks like's over there construction oh my god you can send him a treat on the furbo okay so you were saying you had ranch on your outfit and you look great thank you so much oh wow good memory um i also said blaze was gay yes yes and then i needed to get the wine and then we discussed how this might play out and all the terrible ways in which it might and did play out. So let's get to it. He had come out to Raya and she was extremely supportive of him as his best friend and said, you love who you love. His family actually suspected he might have been gay for a long time, but his parents, they told him, you know, if you are, we will embrace you no matter what,

but they never pressured him to come out to them. And so at this point in time, he was out at college. So he was at UPenn. He was out about a sexuality, but he didn't seem ready to talk about it at home. And his parents were totally fine and respectful of that. They just kind of like sort of knew, you know, like it just wasn't an unsaid thing. And Gene was extremely proud of him. She literally didn't care. And it's like so heartbreaking because like so many people don't have that support at home. And then for somebody with endless support, even from their own grandparents who've gone through literal hell at like a concentration camp and then to have something horrible happened to you even though your parents like do everything in their power to care and protect it's just

so disturbing so his parents respected that he didn't want to talk about it jean was proud of him either way but now raya is like shit is this relevant because like that sam guy was crazy and she did not believe that sam and blaze would have randomly decided to hang out as friends she later said in an interview that she considered Sam might have reached out for a hookup, but what terrified her is, just as you mentioned, she could also imagine him organizing a meetup with an express intent to hurt Blaze, as a trap, basically, an act of homophobic and anti-Semiticate. Because remember, he's also a very proud Jewish man.

She hoped desperately that Blaze would be found unharmed, but she really, she's one of those people where she will just say what she's thinking, and she basically said, I thought he's dead. She was like, I heard Sam Woodward, I heard he went to see him and he hasn't been seen, and I thought he's dead. Yeah. On January 9th, seven days after Blaze vanished,

investigators decided to search Borego Park again. And they'd gone over what felt like every inch of ground and they didn't have any other leads. So they just looked one more time. It was cold out and there was heavy rainfall that was shifting the dirt. And for that reason, they were able to find Blaze's remains. which had been hastily buried under dirt and a large tree branch.

Hastily buried, though, I would have, had you framed the story earlier where that was the only information I had, I would have assumed, oh, this was a impulsive job and someone did, because I would think hastily buried, like, you didn't have a plan. It's like not premeditated. Yeah. I think just because of the fact that they're like 20 and he's just clearly not there. there with any humanity in him yeah i don't know i don't know um and he has some he has some excuses so we'll get to those uh the rain washed mud away to partial also i think people

overestimate how much of a hole they can dig i'm not that sounds like ironic but i or like a joke but i'm serious like i think people think like oh i can just dig a hole real quick and it's like no well it's a lot of work to dig it so easy they make it look so easy on a movie and also dogs can weirdly do it in five seconds fly exactly and it's like there's one of you and you've already murdered a person and now you're like it's dark out I need to fucking dig a hole like even if you think it's deep it's probably not deep it's probably shallow and the rain can probably wash it away you know Allison desperately wants one of those like free little libraries and on their first uh like on the how tos on their website of like how would you install this

they're like oh dig a two foot hole and I'm like I'm not fucking doing that Good luck with your free library. I also desperately wanted a little free library, and then my neighbors put one up, and I went, well, fuck me, I guess. Just kidding. I actually am very happy. Just those readers over there, those dirty readers. I'm actually just so happy they did. It's also the house with a rainbow flag, so I feel like, okay.

That's allowed. Of all people, like, you're allowed to do that. Anyway, they discover his remains. It's something they didn't expect. because they really had searched and searched, but the rain had really washed a lot of the land out, and they were able to spot his body. And next to his body, they found his phone.

They did an autopsy, which revealed that Blaze did not die of exposure or a wild animal attack. He had been stabbed over 24 times. Holy crap. Yeah. That is personal. I mean, it's just rage. It's just total hatred for somebody.

Correct. Wow. Correct. he was stabbed over two dozen times in the neck and body his hands were covered in defensive wound I mean it makes me sick like Raya the investigator searching for Blaze felt something was off about this Sam yeah no shit okay guys don't say like like Raya it's like she already knew she was like I know this fucking guy so they thought we get better get back to this guy and thankfully they had already kept taps on him because they were surveilling him and they watched

him carefully clean out hmm the interior of his car That's strange for a 22-year-old to be doing just for no reason. Yep. Then they executed a warrant at his house where he lived with his parents, and they discovered, wouldn't you know it, a bloody knife? There was also still blood in his car, even though he tried to clean it. The blood in the car and on the knife was confirmed to belong to Blaze, and Sam Woodward was arrested under suspicion of murder.

So in building their case against Sam, detectives discovered that Sam, was a member of the Adam Waffen, I don't know how to say this, Atomvaffen division. I don't even want to say it in German, it makes it sound worse. So I'm not, actually, let's take that back. Sure. Yeah, somehow it makes it, like, actually makes me want to throw up. It's like I was there.

I could just, the chills ran down my spine. I regret saying that out loud. It's called the AWD, and it's an international neo-Nazi terrorist organization. Sure. Right. None of us are surprised by this. Sam was an active and highly engaged member, who specifically enjoyed engaging in acts of online violence against queer people.

So he had really like that exact kind of crossroads. And also you're a Nazi. I mean, what's worse than a Jewish person to a Nazi, a gay one? Like, I mean, just... Exactly. He found, like, the crossroads. And he went to high school with this person, so he, like, knows of him, you know? And it's like...

That's so sick. And also, like, you would think because you went to school with him, you should, like... Like, he would be the one you have a shred of humanity for in some way, because you know what he's like. You know his day a day of day. he's not this monster you're probably like spewing hatred towards. Yeah, but he's going around saying that the Holocaust was wrong. Yeah.

And we can't have that. No, no. Okay. So in building their case against Sam, detectives discovered that he was this member of this AWD organization. He was very involved with it. And so when the case finally went to trial in 2024, the prosecution sought a first-degree murder charge against Sam Woodward

with the enhancement of a hate crime charge. If he were found guilty, Sam would face life with that. possibility of parole. Sam's defense team did not contest that Sam killed Blaze, because how could they? He had a bloody knife in his car. Instead, they tried to lessen the sentence. And doing that, they said, oh, this was not premeditated and it was not a hate crime.

Who the hell? Who's running this? Isn't that interest? Isn't that interest? What a fucking racket, right? Was one of his friends from that organization, the judge that day? Probably. Fucking, well, don't worry.

He didn't get away with that. so if that's if that's helpful but his lawyer certainly tried to lessen the charge um they claimed his lawyer claimed that he was not actually extremely dedicated to AWD or white supremacist Nazi ideology which is like good start mm-hmm good start they said Sam struggled to connect with other people and find community because of his autism and that made him vulnerable to AWD recruitment tactics Sam joined AWD seeking human connection and socialization and friendship. Aw. A former member of the group testified that no one at the meeting Sam attended

took the ideology very seriously. He claimed they mostly drank alcohol and socialized. But another former member testified that he attended meetings with Sam, and at these meetings, they created serious propaganda materials. To add to that, Sam was photographed at a meeting doing a Nazi salute alongside other members who are holding up a Nazi flag and other symbols. And the AWD itself, being this international organization, is directly responsible for several acts of violence in the U.S.

and members have been documented actively recruiting on college campuses and even among the U.S. military, because, of course, they value weapons training. Of course. Which is what Woffen means weapons. It's the AWD mission to this is literally their, what do you call it? What's a statement, a mission statement? their mission statement is to incite a race war great where's your mother yeah amen

literally where's your fucking mother she's probably in on it she probably is i don't know i got to talk to her and put her maybe she's not into it i don't know but she it's uh who knows how maybe she's incredibly involved in this and knows everything about it well she's gonna hear from me And I'm going to say, why did you do this? And that's about it. Yeah, truly. I mean, like, it's just. I'm going to send someone else who's better with confrontation.

Well, you know, in 2018, I mean, that was only two years into people being inciting or inciting things in ways that they have never had their experience before. Fair point. It was, it was two years into this situation. And the fact that the trial was in 2024, like four years after COVID. Like, I mean, it's just so nauseating how, like, prescient and, like, timely and everywhere this is. And his parents talked about it in the documentary, too. They said, like, what we've learned from this is that they're everywhere.

They're fucking everywhere. They're in the O.C. They're in the, they're on college campuses. They're everywhere. It's, it's horrifying. It's horrifying. And I, you know, all of us kind of sit in our own echo chambers. And so a lot of times in my mind, there's really, you know, we outnumber them.

But then there's times where I, I'm like, my God, like, it feels evenly matched all of a sudden. No, I know. It's scary. And especially when you think, like, oh, they're recruiting in these ways that we don't see. They're recruiting online. They're recruiting in places that we don't necessarily see college campuses, military

environments. I mean, the weapons training alone is scary, right? For people who are, like, you know. Even just, like, red pill content. Like, I mean, again, I think because I live in L.A. that I'm like in this like big blue bubble. But then all of a sudden I see there's all these people that like I follow on social media and all of a sudden they're posting like crazy shit and I'm like, whoa.

Well, they come out of the woodwork all of a sudden and you're like, uh-oh. I'm like, I thought you were fucking chill. Like how many times have I been in a room alone with you and like, what were you thinking? You know? Like it's so scary. And I also think like that points as well to things are shifting and people are getting warped perspectives and people are like you said, getting red pill. content and like changing their values or like yeah you know so even people that you might have

thought 10 years ago they would never have said something like that it's like maybe they've gotten in some rabbit hole and now oh yeah on style they're like in this totally other universe yeah 100% it's horrifying it's horrifying it's horrifying and I mean all this stuff like these hate crime things I just remember being in high school and Matthew shepherd and all these things were happening and I remember thinking like this will finally show people like how fucked up. Like we, I remember as high school kids, we were all just like whole, I mean, just like the horror

of it and it's like, eh, just keeps happening. Like, how much, man? Okay. Yeah. All right. So, their goal is to inside a race war. Cool, cool. It was difficult enough for the defense to try to sell AWD as this like, okay, so now think about this. This is sort of like,

hear me out, reminds me of the Cracker Barrel logo controversy. Okay. Because these lawyers are what do you say speak on that speak on go on speak on that um i will because i think i have to now um essentially what i'm trying to say is that the defense is trying to paint the awd as this like spineless society where

they're just actually drinking beer and they're not really strong enough or important enough or powerful enough to do anything like start a race war right But, of course, the people in the AWD are like, what the fuck? And the reason this reminds me of the cracker barrel thing is because everybody was like, how dare you, you're changing, like you're coming woke and all this shit. And then the literal president of the United States, not a joke, listen to the Beach 2 Sandy Cracker Barrel series about this. The president of the United States called the Cracker Barrel CEO and said, you have to change

the logo back. Literally happened. Hours later, Cracker Barrel announced they were changing the logo back. And then everybody on the right said, you spineless pieces of shit, the president tells you to do it and you just do it. And now everyone fucking hates Cracker Braille. So it's like this, like you can't win, but like it's with Nazis. Yeah. Well, you know what? It's almost as if Nazis just don't play fair. Almost as if. It's, it could be that they're just not nice. I don't know. alien theorists.

They're not called NICES, you know? Yes. They're not. They're not. They're not. Not. Not. Man, that's, um, yeah.

So it's like a challenge. Damn if you don't. Exactly. Is it a challenge because they're like, oh, no, no, no. These are just like little boys. They don't know what they're doing. But like the AWD, right? Mm-hmm.

The one guy comes on and goes, nah, we really want weapons and we want to inside a race war. So it's like, okay, which one fucking is it? Okay. So insane. So it would be a challenge as well to convince the jury that Sam didn't actively participate as an individual. Here's why. They had proof evidence that Sam traveled to Colorado to meet a man named James Mason. James Mason was an extremist writer and his writings are the basis for many of the AWD tenants.

He posed proudly for a photo with this man because he clearly admired him. And he also traveled to Texas to attend what is essentially an AWD retreat. What the fuck are they doing at this retreat? I don't want to know. I literally, honestly, I don't usually mean that when I say it, but I literally don't want to know. Because I think I have an idea. I think I have an idea, too. Right.

His computer was filled with anti-Semitic and homophobic content. The defense team tried to argue that, well, he was struggling with his own sexuality, which like you did. Oh, shut the fuck up. Shut the fuck up. This is the shit that, yes. Yes. I gotta say, I think you, me and Eva all combined have probably struggled with our sexuality at one point or not

and none of us have ever thought to do that. It's so damaging to propagate shit like that. Yeah, I mean, all it does is just tell people that queer people are violent. Like, closeted people are just gonna snap and stab somebody. Like, what are you talking about? Or open people, I mean, the propaganda this week about trans people is like a weird, we are responsible for most of the mass shootings?

What the fuck? Who's, like, who's, like, who's, decided that we're just going to say things now you know they're like are just so easily googleable yeah who decided words mean nothing because it wasn't me fucking well no i mean all it does is say like oh well they are queer so therefore they're violent and therefore they should be taken out before they hurt us and therefore like we should yeah we should be scared but it's just yeah it's it's horrible it's horrible so this is what they argued that sam grew up in a devoutly catholic household his mother testified that his father raised him to believe that homosexuality was a sin.

They claimed Sam's father used homophobic slurs. Again, like, a lot of dads do this shit, people. It doesn't make you stab somebody 24 times. Sorry. A lot of gay, out gay people, queer people, had shitty parents. Like, you can't just tell me, oh, you're just shitty, fucking join the club. I mean, again, all of us are queer. all of us are all of us on the of the trio of the geos trio none of us have this is not ever once crossed my

fucking mind i got other things to worry about like like your own safety like kissing a girl i'm like your livelihood and like my livelihood and like what like i'm too busy worrying about if people are ever going to hurt me than to think about hurting somebody like what are you talking about it's just absolute total i can't i'm an What do you call it assery? Sure. Dumbassery? Dumbassery?

Fuck assery? I mean, let's just start putting cuss words together. I don't know. You know, there is a limit to my empathy for people who are closeted and, like, are struggling. You can't just throw that out there like, oh, now they'll fucking accept it. Like, if, like, I feel for everyone that's going through that, but if it turns into, like, this inward hatred where you're now going to project it via violence. Obviously,

I'd have a problem with you. But it's also not happening, I don't think, nearly as much as these people are trying to. No, and that's, like, such a harmful trope that they always fucking pitch. Like, oh, well, like, because you were closeted, that's why you acted. It's like, no, fuck you. And like, you know what? Or because you're open and mad at everybody else for having a problem with it.

Like, it's, it's because you're gay and. It doesn't, like, exactly. Thank you. And, like, being queer does not obviously make you. you a good person. It makes you a better person. It doesn't make you a good person. It makes you funnier, certainly. Right. Like there are inherent good traits about you suddenly. But beyond that, like, no, it doesn't mean you're not a fucking bad person, a murderer, a liar. Like, it doesn't, a shitty parent. I know plenty of

queer people in. I know a lot of gay people who suck. But you know what? Who are terrible people and who hurt other people and who are, and it's not whatever. But, but, but, like, there's a lot of ways I could find accurate stereotypes in queer people and one of them is definitely not that they're murderers. I'll tell you that. Correct. There it is. That's like literally show me any sort of proof of that, really. You cannot. So right, they're claiming like, oh, well, and of course it's his mother saying, well, his dad didn't like gay people. And so she's trying to cover for him. Unfortunately for Sam's defense and fortunately for the rest of us, that did not align with the fact

that Sam actually kept track of his homophobic terror tactics in emails to himself. Okay. And? And it was called Sam's Diary of Hate. Shut, though. What is what the...

Why are they all of manifestos? I'm so over this. Literal manifestos. And also, like, emailing yourself, that is so, like, 1998. Yeah. Get a Google Doc, you fucking weirdo. Stop emailing yourself in like 2024 or whatever. Why you just like your live journal, you know?

You Snapchat yourself, you dumb shit. So he has a manifesto called his Diary of Hate, which isn't even creative. Not even good. No, no, no. And in these emails, he describes downloading dating apps to find queer men and then he would terrorize them. Which, like, by the way, I'm sorry. I'm not, I'm not done. Go on.

But like, this is a lot of problems. How do I say this concisely? Because all I want to do is ramble about this. a lot of the world's problems are just a lot of men out there are gay that don't believe that they are or maybe they believe that they're

but homophobia has caused so much actual violence in the way that if people were just open with themselves they wouldn't hurt people but instead they have these manifestes and they think that they're reacting normally like why don't you just kiss a fucking man

like there's nothing gay or them being so obsessed with gay men that like just kiss a boy like shut the fuck out Why are you killing people? Well, put, because when they say, like, oh, well, he was just closet gay. It's like, we don't even know that for a fact. But you're right.

Like, this is getting weird. Like, the obsession with targeting gay men. There's, I'm like, there's, there's nothing gayer than constantly thinking about gay men. Straight people think about gay people, way more than gay people think about gay people. Thank you. I'm literally never thinking. Thank you. Never thinking about people being gay.

It's only straight people who just want to hurt us, in which case, why are you so obsessed with us? Because you're up and gay. This is exactly right. Speaking of my friend Nicole, who did definitely guess about the Bub Portal, she's psychic and stuff. Go listen to a psychic story. But she and I went to a show recently, like a live show, and we went and used the bathroom afterward.

And this was a show where the audience was mainly women or girls. And so we saw the really long line and we just thought, let's just pop into the men's room. There's nobody in there. Mm-hmm. Well, I should have known better because we were in Indiana. And we walked out. Welcome to hell. And this man said to me, what the fuck are you doing? And he got so in our faces aggressive. And he started saying, you're a predator. My son is a child. Like, you're a predator. And I'm like, dude, I'm like drunk off two chardonnays. Fuck you. Like, what do you mean? A predator? God damn it. Why are you shouting at a woman? Like, Jesus, you're a fucking predator. Like, you're literally actively screaming at me, and you're terrifying the shit out of me. And you're peeing and washing my hands. Leave me alone.

And your poor child is like, I just am nine years old. And again, like, obsessed with queer people for what? Why are you so desperate to meet a queer person just to yell at them all the feelings to probably have it by yourself? And it's like we're not even queer. We just like went in there to use a bathroom. We were, I'm not saying we're not quit. But I'm like, we're not. Yeah, you're not a predator.

We're not making a statement. I'm not like in there to be like, look at me. Like, fuck off. This is why the Republican conferences, like, they have the highest grinder points or whatever it is. We're like, just secretly banging each other. Just stop being homophobic. That's literally that would solve so many crimes as if people just accepted that they can kiss

boys and no one's going to get mad about it. And you don't have to kiss who you want. You fucking stop it. It's like, let's, if you're wondering if you're queer, or if you're trying to hide it from yourself let's let me just tell you now you're the only one thinking about queer people this much well let's let's like once you're open so okay good point because eva and i talked about this at one point and i i don't want to throw her under the bus i will ask her to make sure this is okay but like just as a vague idea we were talking about deconstructing our past

in sure me catholicism her kind of uh the evangelical world it's far scarier in my opinion but grass is greener etc grass is less green i don't know And so she and I were talking about it and we talked about like how they would instill this fear of like if you have gay thoughts, impure thoughts. And it's like, of course that's ripe for someone like me who has OCD and is like, oh shit. Like I can't even think about certain things or else I will go to hell because God's always thinking my reading my thoughts. Like I mean, it really is such a fucking twisted, warped. You got to just not let that rule your life because then you end up being a shit. shithead Republican or a murderer.

Well, yeah, if you're told you're dirty your whole life and then all of a sudden we see, like people like me and people like you are like, I don't give a shit what some book says is dirty. Are like glorified and living their best lives. Like, yeah, you're going to feel resentful. Yeah, I get it. It's like, but if you're, if you're, if you don't want to because you think it's dirty and pure, that's your life. But if you're thinking you're overcoming it while still being obsessed with other people who

are openly happy, that's not my problem. And also like, I want to clarify, I don't think he ever said he had any, he never said he had any, like, gay. No, I don't think he did either. I, my thought is just like, he clearly has a manifesto of hate when he's done this before. It's like, why are you constantly like, he does this as a hobby, a past time. Yeah. So, like, your, your hobby behind the scenes when no one's looking is just thinking about gay people all the time. He's talking and thinking about gay men. Like, think about what that looks like. Like, that's, like, that's, there are straighter things to do than that. You know what I mean?

I've been thinking about gay men all the time. Way straighter. Like collecting guns. Sorry. I know this is like so like we're just beating a dead horse here, but I will beat the dead horse until it's six feet under. On! As if we're going to build a hole that dig a hole, build a hole.

As if we're going to be able to build a fucking six foot hole. We're going to dig a six foot hole, beat the horse until it's in there and then put my stupid little free little library on top of it. I was about to say, at least we'll have a place for your library. Anyway, sorry. I know we like, I know we drove that point home a long time ago, but it's a constant thought of mine. It's just like shitty people who are just so mad at gay people for seemingly no fucking reason,

it begs the question why you're thinking so often about this unless you're fighting it yourself, unless you're struggling with it yourself. Why are you thinking about it so much? Like, it's weird. It's fucking weird. Like you just don't. It's like when men think about like women all the time and they're like trying to like, And it's like, what are you doing?

Yeah. I've never thought about gay people as much as straight people who hate gay people. I'm just like, it's not, you're wasting your life. Right. Just because it's clearly emotionally charged for them, right? Because like they make that super clear. I'm emotionally charged. I'm, I've said my piece like 10,000 times.

We're done. I'm sorry. What happened next? Just get with the story. I think we knew. I mean, we knew we would get here. And also, I don't. give a fuck okay you know i came back i came back from egypt i don't care anymore you're like i'm a

whole new person i'm gonna say whatever the fuck i want i am i am gonna say whatever the fuck i want good for you republicans are all gay and i hate all of them certainly so are all demigrants fuck them all they're all anybody they're all gay fuck them all uh certainly i like i always say they're all gay like it's a fucking slur i'm like fuck them they're all gay and it's like Well, honestly, to me, that's a compliment to them, no. Every now and then I still call things gay derogatorily because I think it's hysterical. It's very funny. And you are allowed to say that I believe. Thank you. And I think that I'm allowed to give you that permission.

I think that could be the double entendre, though, is that a lot of men are gay. And, like, I mean it both ways. Like, they're gay. In the worst way. Yeah, use their own insults against them, you know. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, it's worth, no, no, you don't be, don't apologize because it's worth, it's so worth discussing because it just, it gets worse, okay? Okay. So he emails these men in this Sam's diary of hate. And in the emails, he describes downloading dating apps to find queer men and then he would terrorize them.

He sent photos to other men of gay men being harmed, tortured, and killed. Fucking sick. Sick. It was clear that Sam was actively used. using dating apps to target and terrorize members of the queer community. And in one email, he actually wrote to himself, again, pathetic. This is really hard for me to read in all seriousness. So forgive me, but here we go.

The email says, quote, they're terrified LMAO. One even said he was going to report me to the FBI. Go ahead and try, pal. This is too much fun. They think they're going to get hate-crimeed, and it scares the shit out of them, fucking priceless. Now, the curse words before scares the blank out of them and blank priceless were fucking removed during reporting

because apparently, oh, that's way too divisive. Oh, my God. But, yeah, so I'm just kind of pretending what I think would be there. But either way, it says it scares the blank out of them, blank and priceless. And it was through Tinder that salmon, Blaze first made contact with each other. Blaze told Sam he was attractive, and Sam replied,

You're not too bad looking yourself, Blaze. Sam asked Blaze if anyone was nearby. When Blaze said no, Sam said, I might make an exception for you. So they moved their conversation to Snapchat, where Blaze sent Sam his address. Sam picked Blaze up, and shortly afterward, he took Blaze to the park,

and that is where he stabbed him more than 25 times in the neck and legs. Sam took the stand and was asked whether he ever in his life questioned his sexuality or considered he might be gay. Of course he said, no. Mm-hmm. He's a confident straight man.

What? Okay. Bullshit. I mean, again, as we've established, all homophobes are probably gay. At least a little bit. Well, I mean, everyone's a little gay, right? But they're more gay.

If you're so obsessed, there's something wrong. Yeah, they're so, yeah, yeah. so why else would he have met up with Blaze that night if not with the intent to harm him in a final attempt at his own defense because none of this shit is working Sam testifies that he was actually smoking marijuana on a bench with Blaze and he started to fall asleep this is where I get fucking furious and I imagine Blaze's parents were ready to I mean throw down because he says oh he woke up to the feeling of someone's he blames Blaze for he says he was trying to sexually assault him

oh fucking great great he says I fell asleep on a bench and all of a sudden I felt someone's hand on my crotch and he realized

that he was his pants were being unbuckled bullshit shut the fuck up so like now it's self-defense now it's his fault exactly

so he went out hoping to find someone to hurt and then feigns self-defense when he gets busted yeah just like a classic. I mean, yeah, literally. I'm like, I'm trying to think of any other way to pitch it, but no, you're right. That's literally it. So, so stupid. It's like, I'm going to go walk into

a house of fire and then, oh, no, I got burned. It was not my fault at all. Whoops. But it's like, just, I don't know. I don't know. I don't even know how to compare the two. I'm just mad. I'm just so, so fucking stupid. It's just bullshit because it's like, we already know. I hate this man. This is a bad person. So he said all of a sudden, of course, the classic that the gay people are just going to um assault you sexually assault you because they just can help themselves right not only are we all uh violent predators who should be taken out before we try to hurt you but um we're also all promiscuous right that's how that goes well okay i i remember one of my youngest like arguments

i ever actually won with somebody it was a family member and um like an extended family member and they said something like well i wouldn't want a gay man teaching my son, like, I wouldn't want a gay and preschool teacher, a man to be teaching my son. And I went, why? And they were like, oh, well, in case, like, he does something to my son. And I was like, that if you were straight, you're not worried you would do something to your daughter? Or if it were a straight woman, she wouldn't do anything or, like, what kind of fucking logic is that? And I remember them, like, the person, this was why I remember it. The person went, huh. And I don't think I've ever, like, had a moment in my life where a person I was arguing

with just fucking shut down. That's a beautiful. I'm wrong no matter what. But, like, I just remember that moment of, like, I don't have a comeback. And I was like, there you have it. But, like, fuck off. Yeah, okay, actually. And that was after all the other shit didn't work, right?

So he's like, if that really happened, wouldn't you have said that right off the bat, you know? Mm-hmm. And then they don't believe women, right? because, anyway. Let's unpack everything. So let's talk about this. Jesus Christ. The poor people who just want to hear this fucking story.

They've left a long time ago. I wouldn't worry about them. A poor team who has to listen to this. Jack. Your dream. Sorry, Jack. So Megan, et cetera. Okay, so why else would he have been, right?

So, like, he claims, oh, well, yeah, I just went and I fell asleep. And then he put his hand on my crotch. then I realized he was taking photos of me on his phone and he said, I got you, like basically like trapping him. I got a sucker punch this guy right in the fucking teeth. I know, I know. Sam said Blaze was assaulting him and he planned to use the photos to make people believe he was gay.

I mean, again, get a grip. Sam said he then attacked Blaze in a state of terror and defense. He said that as he stabbed Blaze, this part I believe, the only true thing I believe. he experienced, quote, an anger like nothing I'd ever felt in my whole life. That I believe as well. That I believe. But also, I'm so sorry, but I mean, maybe I don't know what it's like, luckily to have to defend myself against an attacker. But I don't think I'd stick around for 24 stabs.

No. You know what I mean? I'd go, yeah. Get away from me. Hey, by the way, not if I were in something called the weapon Nazi group or whatever the fuck. the Nazi group where we have weapons training like please yeah I just like I'm waiting for I don't even know what I'm waiting for I'm waiting for this to be over because I know me too I know I'm just so upset the defense's overall tactic as we can probably gather was completely confused

so the defense argued that Sam was not that committed to AWD which obviously seemed untrue he's traveling to meet these people's like heroes right like the people who wrote he he goes out of his way to meet these people. Then the defense argues that he struggled with his own sexuality, which he denies on the stand, because he's not going to say he's gay, right? No, no, no, no. Exactly. Then they argue that he did not hate gay men, and then they're like, well, what about

his diary of hate? Yeah. Like, it's an impossible task. I don't like food. What about your diary full snacks? What are you talking about? Yeah, what about your diary of a foodie and how much I love food? What about your food magazine from high school?

yes exactly what about that black and white photo of you in a chef's hat huh i'm gonna put that on the fucking thing not even the forensics of the stab wounds on blaze's body aligned with sam's story of a self-defense attack on the bench right like because he's claiming oh i woke up i was all groggy because of the weed and then uh this guy attacks me and i stabbed him no none of that none of that what doesn't even mean he he drugged you with the devil's lettuce like you've first of all, never had any. And second of all, it's not how it works. Yeah.

I never even had any, and I know that it's not how it works. Exactly. I mean, you're right. Like, I think they were trying to go for the boom, maybe the boomer, like, and I say that not despairing, disparagingly. I mean, I do say in this case, disparagingly, not all boomers, okay? But, like, the idea of like, oh, well, it was weed. Oh, no.

Then we know something. Satanic panic. Yeah, exactly, exactly. I think that's what, it was like a Hail Mary, honestly, like a last-ditch effort. Good thing. Spoiler. it did not work. Okay, so after eight hours of deliberation,

the jury declared Sam Woodward guilty of murder in the first degree. And in the courtroom recording, you can hear his mom. You can hear Blaise's mom, Jean, exclaim, thank God. He was also found guilty of the hate crime enhancement, and he was sentenced to life in prison without the possibility of parole. When asked about the trial, Blaise's family was not, I love this, not interested, completely disinterested in confronting Sam. Good.

Gene said, this is the most powerful thing of all. Gene said, Sam was meaningless to her. I love that. Good for her. That's it. That's why we're saying. That's why Emma is saying, if you're obsessing over gay people, like, that's on, look inward.

I went to Egypt. I figured out I'm not the fucking cramble-a-crum of everybody's problems over here. Look inward. whatever my problem is is my problem nobody else is like this is crazy making and then she's like I don't give a shit about that piece of I I there is an episode of Law & Order SVU guest starring ludicrous and sorry that is really not where I expected that sentence to go and I see basically ludicrous is his son's half brother and he's like he's a bad guy that feels right and ice tea or ludicrous says to me like oh you're going to wish i was coming back to your family you're

going to wish that i you know that you didn't make an enemy out of me and ice tea was like oh no after you walk away i'll never think of you again yes and it's just like it's the you just shut it down it's just like all the power you thought you gained from this like you will never bother me every fallout boy lyric right like oh um like there is a song called i don't care and it's like I don't care what you think about me or I don't care hold on let me sing it I don't care what you think as long as it's about me so there's such a power of like I don't think about you you know yeah it's very much the like an egregious version of like when you ignore your sibling who's trying to piss you off like I imagine that feeling it's just like oh actually like you you don't

even there's no space for you. The second you engage or react then you're suddenly like feeding it yes oh my god um we should talk more okay we have so much in common i you know i think i could do it for a few years i don't know about you i'll think about it okay uh so jean said sam was meaningless to her love it love it love it love it that's part of this whole story i mean his grandmother who survived a concentration camp was still alive is still alive like think about she has to fucking watch this happen i can't even imagine the thought of like thinking Not only did I, well, I guess she didn't escape the Holocaust, she endured it. Oh, very fair, yeah.

But to know that, like, I survived just for two generations later this to still be happening. To move to Southern California in a safe, quiet neighborhood, my grandson goes to an Ivy League school. I mean, the literal Survivor's guilt of I survived the Holocaust and my grandson. This happens to him. Like, I mean, holy shit. The way they talk about him is just. just beautiful. And I imagine that if you've, I mean, I couldn't know, but I imagine if you've gone through that kind of a trauma, like, well, I don't know. I don't know. I'm not even going to

speak on it. I don't have any. It's, it's just so sad. It's just so sad. So Blaise's grandfather Richard said he didn't need to look Sam in the eye. No interest. When asked why, he said, I mean, these people are fucking kings and queens, okay? When asked why, he said, because he's a footnote in history. wow i love that fuck yeah and this is a neo nazi by the way like it's not like oh he's just a homophobe

like he's also a neo nazi and the psychology of it too is that like a lot of people who join those organizations are just desperate to be like the alpha or to be in charge of your life or to rule somebody or to make you feel small

and it's just like well no you can do all that and you still didn't do it perfect perfectly put i think i don't know people no people much stronger than you who literally endured like you said the holocaust feel much stronger than you literally don't even want to give you a fucking second glance don't even want to look you in the eye because you're that pathetic like there it is good luck so of course because he was such a special i was going to say kid but also man he was 20 when he died when his funeral was arranged

the attendees had to RSVP because the venue could only hold 1,200 people. Wow. I know. So many people. Talk about not a footnote in history. Hell yeah. That's 1,200 plus people

who were all going to remember him personally. Get this. They held a second funeral in a large public venue and that saw 3,000 people in attendance. Holy shit. And I really love this. again like I hate to keep saying like a power move but man this is just like they're doing everything

so meaningfully the students from OSHA the performing art school he was in performed the song most people are good and I'm like oh that just gives me chills the park where Blaze played as a child and then died became a memorial to his memory people began leaving painted stones dedicated to Blaze and his creative artistic spirit and then people began painting and sending stones to the park from all over the world. So it wasn't just local people. Yeah, people would mail these stones in to put a permanent memorial in the park. Every single person who met Blaze remembers him as someone larger than life.

In his college admissions essay, he wrote that every version of himself lives on in his writing. Sorry, this is hard to read. This is a quote from his college essay. Remember, he got into an Ivy League school. As I change, my words change. But even after days or months or years, I can still find a version of myself, a time traveler from the past, present, or future, sitting there in the text and waiting to speak to me. Hello, a 17-year-old wrote that? Ten out of ten.

Many people still seek inspiration, passion, and joy in Blaz's published pieces, and his memory persists as a force of good in the world. His mom said, Blaz's memory and spirit will live on in every kind deed done in his honor. and his loved ones basically just ask that people do acts of good and think about blaze, especially to protect and uplift people in marginalized communities. And it was really sweet in the documentary, his dad was, like, no matter where he was sitting and which interview he was in, he was always wearing, like, this, it was like a rainbow shirt or like something, like, you can just tell that they're just so passionate about this. And that's sad and special.

Gene said, Blaise's life mattered and he has a legacy to create good news to inspire people to be better, to be kinder, and to work on repairing the world because it's not too late and we can make it better. And to have parents who've lost their eldest son to such a violent and horrific hate crime to say it's not too late to fix the world, like that to me is a very powerful statement because sometimes I think it's too late and I've not gone through anything remotely like that, you know? Yeah, the level of, I don't know, compassion, patience, I don't know what the right word is, but I don't have it.

Compassion is a great word because it's like we can fix this for other people, hopefully. You know, and I think that we see it a lot with survivors, families, or not survivors, victims, families, or survivors of violent crime where they're like, how can we use this for good? which I just always am like this is why love always wins I know it's cliche and homophobes are always gay but it's like I almost don't want to give them that I'm like

I'll do it you wish you wish you were part of the club you piece of shit maybe that's why you say in the closet yeah you stay in the closet because you just know the other gays wouldn't like you yeah you're not cool enough yeah no it's just it's just like it sucks that I remember like it sucks that we probably all remember the Matthew Shepard thing and I mean at least it just was such a horrific thing and like of course

has been happening forever the dawn of humankind but just that the like the absolute I think it was also probably the timing right like we were what like freshman in high school or like eighth grade or something like we were I don't remember what year but I remember growing up hearing his name it was a very um it was like a very what's the word like a very uh a time where we were very uh vulnerable to an innocent time a time of innocence not innocence but like molding like it was a formative formative yes it was a very formative time and i remember the matthew shepherd and like at school we would we made these posters and like sort of like you i went to you i went to you this private school and I remember like even at my Catholic private school we were all like horrified and like even the fucking religion teachers you know because this was like such an extreme I mean of course every case like this deserves that much of respect and attention and horror but I just remember being like certainly this will make people realize and it's like cool

we're in we're past COVID I mean past COVID but we're five years post-cove there's still trials for the shit where we're just saying oh he's closeted that's why he stabbed him 25 times oh he assaulted him because he's gay like fuck off also I don't understand the argument of like oh well it's because he was closeted

so now do you want someone to have compassion for gay people all of a sudden when that was like your whole schick is that well you hate gay people because you're closeted it's like wait a so the only thing they wanted was to like make it so the only reason they did that is because they didn't want it to be

a hate crime because if it's a hate crime then the sentencing is so much worse So their whole thing was Yeah, yeah, yeah, he killed him But it's because he was gay And so it wasn't a hate crime Because he was gay

Didn't work Good Because also he said I'm not gay I love how like you hate gay people And so all of a sudden Like maybe being one of the sake of your life Like what the fuck is going on? Literally, I know, I know, I know, I know

It's so fucking predictable And also isn't that like pretty directly parallel to Matthew Shepard wasn't he also tricked into going on a date with somebody or was he or was he I think he was Lord okay yeah into like Lord that's the right word I'm not tricked into going on a date that's all I got Allison but I think he was so young I think he was I think he was like I think he was Lord into and you know like I don't know I have nothing else to say I'm just like it's you know we've said what we need to say 20 times.

20 times. I said 10, 10 times. We're in overwhelm, in a state of overwhelm. Oh, my God. He died in 1998. Why am I pretending like I was in high school? I was seven years old. But maybe that's why I found is so forth.

I still remember growing up hearing his name. Man. Yeah, that's rough. Man. So that's that. Really sick, really sickening. I know it's tough, and I'm sorry because I know that this is true crime and no true crime is ever going to be easy, breezy

mac and cheesy, but, you know, it's important we talk about the spectrum of them if we're going to talk about it at all. And I mean, it's also not that you did that's on purpose, but it is incredibly topical given the red-pilling alt-right neo-Nazi organizations that are quite abundant in 2025, if you could tell all of our World War II grandfathers that. Well, mine would be thrilled. Okay, so everyone but Christine's grandpa. If you told mine. Grandpas.

Sorry, plural. Christine, you come from such a tragic life. Can I tell you something? This is part of my Egypt thing. I'm like, what the fuck? My grandparents were Nazis. I'm not going to pretend like they weren't. I'm so sick of the shit.

I'm sick of everyone being like, our family was actually completely different because our family would never do that and we were just forced to do it fuck you you know what they would fucking hate though this is your own personal redemption is that a grandchild of nazis is friends with a grandchild of people who escape the holocaust okay so i'll do you one better no offense i feel that this is a power couple we're doing but multiple of my cousins have married black men Orthodox Jewish men Women

I'm talking girl cousins And I'm like Oh they're already They're turning in their graves so hard That nothing I can do Can they say like karma like comes in threes or something It's a or things come in threes It's like well for every

Bad thing you did We're just going to give you multiple grandkids Who are just going to do the exact opposite What you would have hoped for them It's such a power movement Now that I'm finally doing my like genealogy I'm like I don't like I want to know like nobody wants to know everyone wants to cover it up no I'm done with that I'm done with that shit and um hey here's me saying that I hope I hope everyone listens because I don't care okay you can come at me and say don't say that about your grandparents okay then you'd explain you explain why they're in a Nazi uniform in their wedding picture tell me I'd love to know you know what if anyone has a problem with

you rebuking your shitty grandparents, which I don't think you're going to find in our community. I mean, you're going to find it in my community. And I will say they're going to find me. And that's fine, because I have an alarm system. Use a promo code drink for simply saying, but seriously, I like when I said, like, I have texted M about it a bit, but like when actually at the Delta lounge when I was like leaving for Egypt, I was texting you about it. My extended family got involved in some family drama and tried to get involved and I'm like you know what I've actually am so done being scared of these people I don't give a shit I'm done being scared of them hey they were all Nazis what the fuck am I doing like hiding that from anybody yeah I think Nazis

are the last people that um that need they don't need protection exactly um if there is if they're as tough as they think they are they don't need anyone protecting thank you thank you closeted gay or not yeah and they're dead so like they're literally dead thankfully because who cares like what their reputation cancel culture they're dead it's fine and if like if you feel it reflects badly on you once again look in within right hey this is the last episode ever of and that's why we drink because we've peaked we've said we've said the wisest stupidest shit we've ever said all we've done is repeatedly for like three hours said homopopo people homophobes are gay Nazis are bad and that's kind of it remember when i went it's like when i it's

like when people study abroad for a semester and they come back like i went to egypt for two weeks and i'm like everybody i'm a changed woman listen up again christina's writing a dopamine high that i'm so jealous i would love a dopamine rush like that it's just so freeing you can do it i'm i know you know how to do it you just stop giving a fuck or i go to egypt you know what you really You really realize. What? Nothing fucking matters. You know, I've been saying that for so long.

I know. That's one of your cash phrases. What are they going to do? We're white people. Like, we're fucking in the most privileged position. I can fucking do what I want. And I'm going to tell you that my grandfathers were Nazis. And I think part of my life mission is to fucking call that out and get it out and

fucking work on that shit. Good for you. Sorry, if you have a problem with that, again, look within. I don't think anyone here is going to have a problem with that. I mean, maybe not here, but actually, I do am, actually. If there's a Nazi or Nazi sympathizer who listens to our show, you can just go right to hell. And I think you'd be surprised. Well, because sometimes we get comments where people are like, oh my God, these girls are so funny until I heard XYZ.

And I'm like, you are not listening very closely. Well, then, welcome. Thanks for finally tuning in after 30 minutes. Can you hear me now? Um, no, I remember in the beginning, someone being like, I really like the show, but I can't stand the gay one. Back when there was only one of us. And I went, well, I, you're going to hate the rest of it. You might as well stop listening now. I don't know what to tell you. Gay only evolves from there. Yeah, it only gets worse. It only gets worse. I only grow in power. Right. Gay is just like dipping a toe in, man. I'm only bisexual. I'm at the very little tippy edge of it.

no the the full gamut uh is in session at all moments with us so um it is how do we end this with a bedazzled gavel do you have one court adjourned i don't know how to clank how do is it a clank or a thud well think about i have a fun fact i'm gonna tell you i'm gonna tell you in yapia hour because the fun fact is how which i just learned how they made The Law and Order SVU, like, bum, boom, boom, and all that. Oh, hell yeah. Okay.

Have they made the song? So not the song, like the actual melody, but those sounds in the background, you are literally not in a fucking million years going to guess. You're not going to guess. It was on a podcast where you're supposed to figure out. It's called Lateral with Tom Scott, and you're supposed to, he has guess on, and they ask like a question that's like, you have to kind of laterally think to get the answer and it's like usually a couple comedians trying to figure out like what the answer is and

the way that this blew my mind um okay hell yeah i want to tell you in the yappia hour so if anyone gives a shit come join us i'll be there i don't know if anyone else i'll be there and it's contractually obligated to be there so if you want to join go to patreon.com slash ATWWD podcast and um we can't wait to talk to you. And for more scatterbrained but very valid views, tune in next week, I guess. Who knows what we'll talk about been? Very valid. Very valid. Very very frenetic, but very well-intentioned

also for the for the good people out there. Yeah, it's well-intention. And that's why we drink.