And That's Why We Drink - E459 Radioactive Acorns and Chicken Tricks

Episode Date: November 23, 2025

PASS the cran… berry? Because it’s Episode 459 and we’re remixing the Thanksgiving song this year. This week Em covers the Kecksburg Incident aka Pennsylvania’s Roswell, a classic UFO story. Then Christine covers the fascinating case of Lawrence Joseph Bader aka John “Fritz” Johnson. And who can settle the debate about what end of the acorn is the tushy? Happy Thanksgiving week! …and that’s why we drink! Photo Links:The Kecksburg UFO replicaCloseup of UFO replica symbolsLawrence Joseph Bader Catch our bonus Yappy Hour intermissions on Apple Podcasts: https://apple.co/3L28lDw or subscribe on Patreon: http://patreon.com/ATWWDPodcast!___________________For 55% off your order + FREE shipping, head to http://NurtureLife.com/DRINK and use code DRINK. Go to http://quince.com/drink for free shipping on your order and 365-day returns. Find your scent soulmate today and get up to 60% off at http://MicroPerfumes.com/DRINK Stop putting off those doctors appointments and go to http://Zocdoc.com/DRINK to find and instantly book a top-rated doctor today. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

This podcast is sponsored by Squarespace. We have been using Squarespace since we started the podcast. Like since we, before we launched it, which is wild. Yeah. Yeah. So we've been using it longer than the podcast has been around because we were building out our website. And it was so easy. For two people who've never built a website, it was just kind of a plug and chug situation. They made it so user-friendly.

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but nice things to say we love zip recruiter please please go use it if you're even wondering please go use it four out of five employers uh who posts on supercruiter get a quality candidate within the first day you know that's how we found eva and right now you can try it for free at zip Recruiter.com slash drink. Again, that ZipRecruiter.com slash drink. ZipRecruiter, the smartest way to hire. Christine, it is almost January, which for me is doctor season. No. Say it ain't so. It ain't so. So I guess it is so. And unfortunately, I've got a lot of things I got to do. I got to check my hearing. Got to check my eyeballs. Got to check my, what else. I have a lot of doctors coming up. And I don't know where to look. Oh, wait. Yes, I do. I have to go to Zoc Doc.

No, it's really amazing. Zoc Doc is a free app and website where you can search and compare high quality in network doctors and click to instantly book an appointment. They have, we've been using this for, I think, like 10 years or something, like 9, like a really long time. And nowadays it's so much more robust even than it was then. You don't have to call anybody on the phone. You can see more than 100,000 doctors on the app across every specialty from mental health to dental health, et cetera. And you can filter them by insurance, see their ratings and reviews and their openings. So you don't even have to call the office.

Just click it. And then within 24 to 72 hours, you've got an appointment. Stop putting off those doctor's appointments and go to Zocdoc.com slash drink to find and instantly book a top-rated doctor today. That's Z-O-C-D-O-C.com slash drink. Zock.com slash drink. pass the crayon wait are we doing it by syllable or word i forget that that would mean i say bear and then you say so you don't want to find that is what i'm hearing okay oh my god wait we should try

that after the normal version we should try the remix okay okay that's insane sorry you really caught me off cart it was like bearer Okay, ask the cranberry sauce where having mashed potatoes. Ooh, the turkey looks great. Thank you for loving me. Thank you for being there. Everyone's. Haven?

Thank you. Thank you. The. Everyone's thanking. The. Usually I'm the one who gets in trouble for forgetting this. Everyone's thinking, you. For thank you for thinking us.

Thank you. Hilled the dark gate. Now let's do it syllable by syllable. I think we're ready. Halfway through, I thought, I'm so impressed that I didn't even have to prepare and practice this song. Incredible. You got pretty far. Everyone's thanking you for thanking us for thanking you.

Everyone's thinking the whole world's thanking you. I forgot about that. For thanking us. for thanking you. Cale the turkey. Lynn. I love it. We should add Lynn to the end of that show.

You should just be doing Lynn the whole time. That was at least a creed. Listen, last year or the year before we forgot. So listen. So I hope that was twice as good for everybody. Take it or leave it, people. You either get this or you get nothing. We'll try again next week.

No, next week because this is the beginning of the Thanksgiving bookends. Oh, because it's in the middle. right sure sure yeah so the next okay yeah next time it'll be fucking flawless this was just the dress rehearsal syllable by syllable it'll be out of control it's next year next week i can't wait i can't wait um yeah wow that was beautiful um are you at home yes you are i just looked at your background i am no beautiful uh hotel art today unfortunately not today no luckily uh luckily i finally get to be here for a second but um yeah everything's uh going all right over here i guess Although, I'm going to just jump in.

The reason I drink right now is because our AC is, our heat is broken. Oh, you have heat. Remember when I lived in a house that only had heat in L.A. and not AC? Yeah. It was really, like, so backwards. Yeah. Yeah.

Well, you had to live there too half your life because of the recording. That was incredible. It was a breathtaking time. Well, the, usually I never even used the heat. But, of course, this was the one week where it's been frigid and storming the whole time. and it's been like yesterday it got down to like 50 i think which for us is you know winter and um it's just the one time i need the heat and it's been like at max 65 degrees in here and so i've just been cold cold cold so um until the h-pack people get here i just bought like a space heater

and my place is my god are they put oh wait is the heat broken or is the heat just non-existent like is there it is existent but it is broken sorry gotcha gotcha gotcha gotcha but so i got to space heater to keep the house warm i just picture you and hank huddled under a shared blanket we both slept on the couch last night together next to the space heater um but the space heater worked well and now it's too fucking hot but i don't want to like let the cold air in because i don't know how long it'll take to like re to reneutralize the room so i'm kind of a little sweaty um can you like turn it off i did turn it off oh okay but it's just i'm kind of i'm kind of waiting for the cold to seat back in and then I'll be too cold and then I'll have to wait

forever for the heat to fix it. It's just a dance I'm doing over here all by myself. Yeah, yeah, it's too bad we can't be cold-blooded like those iguanas or whatever. You're telling me. Why do you drink this week? Hey, have you ever seen about those iguanas that fall out of trees? Did one hit you in the head? No. Although that would explain a lot. Have you heard about that? No, I thought that was your entry into why you drink this week. No, but that is a great question.

I wish I could say yes, but no, apparently in Florida, when it gets too cold, these, I think their iguanas will, like, freeze, and not freeze, like, but their body, because they're cold, they'll fall out of a tree, and people will, like, pick them up, and they're, like, stunned, and so they think they're dead, and then they bring them into their house for some reason. I mean, I say that judgmentally, as if I wouldn't do the exact same thing, and then they come alive in the warm. Those things are also fucking huge. They're the size of, like, in my mind, like, what an alligator is the size of, like a geosize in my head.

Like a baby alligator, yeah. They're huge. But imagine just, like, thudding out of the trees. I mean, that's a big nightmare. Florida's insane. If one of those fell and hit you in the head, you could die for sure. I mean, really, I shouldn't even joke about it. You're right.

It's probably dangerous. Florida man killed when iguana falls. Yeah, exactly. Like. Oh, yoy, yoy. Well, anyway. um my before i ask you i was going to say the good reason i drank up and the reason i drank up until five minutes ago and i was way too fucking hot was going to be because it finally rains and i had my

moment it's been like i got to have my stormy little cup of tea next to the window and watch the rain and shiver frigidly wear my cozy clothes finally um anyway that was what i was going to say but what i really want to get to is like can you how how was your trip have i seen you since your trip oh hawaii it was great i'm like what trip Yes, it was lovely. My friend got married. It was awesome. We went on a rum safari. Oh, yeah, I did see you. You did say rum safari last time. Well, I talk about it a lot because I think it's just the coolest thing to do at a wedding. And then I, we got to throw tortillas at the pigs.

Nope. We didn't talk about this. What now? Yeah, so there was a rum safari in the jungle and then we got to throw tortillas at the pigs because that's... Do they like that? They loved it. They loved the stuff. And then we got to pet a horse. It was just like a really magical. and then, you know, my friend got married to her, her, the love of her life, and it was so beautiful. I cried the entire time, which usually, yeah, I've like not been a huge cry lately, but weddings, man, they get me every time, especially a gay wedding. I'm like, oh, I love it. And then I said, I love love and they were like, you're not allowed to say that. Anything about that. And I was like, did you just wear a big rainbow dress? I really. I was like, I'm at a gay wedding. I love love. Yeah, it was great. Did you, um, was I going to say, say.

Oh my gosh. What's wrong with me? Where in Hawaii did you go? Kawhi. Oh, and I saw my friend, Gina. And she's such a kook. She's so funny. She made me, I forgot it.

I'll show, oh, can we do? Okay, this is, I swear we don't script this. Sometimes people get annoyed, but I'm serious. I want to show for our intermission the gift that Gina gave me, which is this, like, wild resin graveyard situation with live animals in it. are no longer alive. Aguanas. She made a plaster cat.

She put resin all over an iguana and then it came back alive now. No, she made me this. She's like, she's just such a funny character. She's a character. You know when you just know someone, you're like, wow. Yeah. You're just fascinating. And I met her in Egypt.

And then, sorry, I forgot to add that. And then she's like, oh, I live on Kauai. And I was like, hang on a minute. I'm going there in November. So we hung out for lunch. And she showed me her, like she built her own bed. Like this is a kind of, like it's, yeah, she's just wild. She's just wild.

And so she does stained glass and she also does resin work. And she's also a chocolatier. She went to culinary school. That's all you had to say. I know. And I should have led with that. And she's just so funny. So we hung out and she made me this like crazy light up crystal graveyard thing.

And it has dead animals, well, dead insects in it. It's so scary. I'm going to show it to you. in the, yeah, yeah. But so it was great. It was a great trip. It was very, oh, and then I showed. Oh, and then she dropped me off at a yellow convertible at the welcome dinner.

And my friend was like, was that your Uber? And I was like, oh, no, that's my friend Gina. And she's like, your friend Gina. And I was like, oh, yeah, I forgot to tell you. This is like the bride. She's like, where were you? I was like, oh, my friend Gina and I were hanging out. Here's the skull.

Yeah, here's the skull she gave me. Anyway, it was like a very goofy but fun time. Thank you. Oh, I was going to say, I just. remember one of the reasons I imagine you were crying is because there's like a childhood friend getting married too right so how long have you known ever since first grade when I put her when I bullied her because well actually that's okay this is why I drink because this got brought up 70,000 times 17,001 here it comes when we were in first grade now I don't remember this and this is actually

quite an admission and I feel like if my therapist ever listens to an episode this is the one she should listened to because it really does crack open like a whole other side of myself that I've never explored the year was 1997 oh it just occurred to me at the wedding as people were telling the story that was also the year my parents got divorced so let's write that down and I was clearly having a moment okay I was going through it I didn't even barely speak English I had a pretty thick accent again the fucking English I know listen it's important context and I'm I'm sitting there with my little accent i don't really know anyone i'm just always observing right i'm like always just you know hyper vigilant and for some reason one afternoon everyone goes to recess and i hide in the

coat room and then everyone goes out to recess and i stay behind and i switch everyone's backpacks we all had like name tags in our cubbies and i switch everybody's backpack in the entire grade and it's like 65 kids i take alissa evans's backpack and I think to myself this girl she had it coming and I walk into the boys bathroom had she done anything where she really deserved it to be coming? She did she would brag

about how tall she was all the time and I was like get the fuck out of here with this you're not special by the way it's very funny because now she's like five foot three so like she's very short but but five foot three in first grade is incredible I mean she was really tall

and she was older than me and I thought like what is her deal and so then I took her back I mean, literally, we had no beef. There's no discernible reason. This is a humbler real fast. I wanted a humbler, and I took her backtrack, and I put it in the trash can of the boy's bathroom. Like, what an insane thing to do.

And so I put it in the trash can. And then I write a bunch, oh, my gosh, there was my friend Olivia at the time. I wrote her a note and pretended to be a boy in school, and I said, I love you. I did that too, and I was gay, dude. Okay, well, yeah, again, therapist, write that down, please. I think you were having your first bi awakening with Olivia. It could very well be. She was very pretty.

Our friendship didn't last long. I wonder why. Because she liked someone else, I think. Uh-huh. Actually, do you know what? We also had a club. It was called the ghost or the scary ghost club or something. Okay, we have a lot to talk about it.

It's fine. We'll talk about another time. I forgot about that. So then I put every, okay, so I fuck with everyone. And then I sneak back out and I so vividly remember. It was like a, it was like total dissociation that I went outside. And I remember being behind the building. building and thinking to myself, well, too late now. And I just like, and because I was so not to be

like dramatic, invisible, I like snuck around the corner and just kind of like hung out on the swing for the rest of recess. Nobody clock that I was missing. And chaos. Chaos ensued. The entire grade erupted in like, where is my backpack? And I mean, I switched like girls and boys. I feel like you looked like Regina George standing in the middle of a hallway and everyone's just chaos around her but she's standing kind of like that's kind of what it felt like and I was like whoa I've tasted power and I just felt like oh my god this is the beginning of a serial killer or something and so I was like kind of like immediately regretting it because I was like this could go really bad and like people are really upset and I don't know what I thought would happen I don't think I was thinking it through but I just thought this would be a funny prank and then it like wasn't funny and the way Alyssa tells it now is that she um everyone finally found their backpack for Alyssa and she missed the bus and so she missed dance class and she had to have somebody come pick her up and they finally found her backpack in the boys bathroom so of course a few days you know the next day they have this big all grade meeting oh no like because of you

yes and so they sit us all down and they say we know who did this we already know who did it I want everyone to close their eyes and the person who did it we need you to raise your hand you won't get in trouble if you admit it right now. Everyone closes their eyes. And I'm like, bullshit. You have no fucking clue. You're bluffing. They were fully bluffing.

They never figured out it was me. They were basically like, she doesn't even speak English. How could she be, that's not her. Well, also like another defense you could have used is, well, I don't speak English so I don't understand what you just fucking told me. I would have raised my hand, you know? No clue. Yeah.

Sorry about that love note I wrote in English. I don't know. Yeah. So that's what happened. Oh, the craziest part is that just kind of went away. Like it just, we moved on. Nobody ever talked about it again. Nobody ever figured out was me. I guess a student. Like I wasn't like causing any other trouble. That was the one thing I ever did like in school that was like really chaotic and could have gotten me in big trouble. And I got, I think I just like quit while I was ahead. You know, I was like, well, I did it. And then I've tasted power. Time to wrap it up. Yeah. Time to wrap it up. Right. At least I have control and like some of these men, you know, in the government. They're like, let me keep going. Get it together. So then Alyssa and I become like best friends. We are ride the bus together for many years, ironically, because my mom gets divorced and moves to the same neighborhood where Alyssa lives. So we're on the same bus. And it's all great and hunky dory. And then we're like 17 or 18. My dad takes Alyssa and me to Skyline Chili. And we're just having dinner. And we're talking about what kind of backpacks we used in elementary school. And Alyssa goes, oh my God. Do you remember in first grade the time that that that somebody like switched all our backpacks and I'm like no not really I literally didn't remember and she's like you don't remember that somebody took my backpack and like put it in the trash of the boys bathroom and my eyes start going wide and I'm like oh my god and I said I don't know how to tell you this but that was me um and she was so shocked she was like why I was like

because you thought you were so cool it really I mean it really was like 10 years later that this finally came out and I didn't even remember it's crazy it's crazy like what is going on if you could have gone back in time and just told yourself like don't worry the the growing stops like she she won't be tall forever one day you'll be filming her wedding on you don't have to do this yeah and you'll realize oh she's actually shorter than everyone here and it'll be so fulfilling you know the second you got taller than her she should just stole in your suitcase or something I know She's, you owe her. I do.

No, trust me, I've spent the rest of our friendship trying to make up for it. And it really was like one of those moments where I went, that sounds so familiar. But, you know, I was so good that I put my own back. I switched my own backpack. Like, I'm not stupid. Like, I wasn't just going to stand there and pretend like I'm the only one whose backpack didn't get switched. Like, I put more, the thing is I remember planning this, which is also insane.

Because I remember the day before being like, tomorrow's the day. The insane thing, too, is that your final act of all of it was to even make yourself forget. So that way, like, there was no. That's how good I was masking is I was like, I would never do something like that. Yeah. That's criminal mastermind right there. I mean, it really, yeah. So anyway, that's how Alyssa and I met.

Great. You know what? You ended up at her wedding, so everything turned out fine. I was like one of the only guests at her wedding. I felt like I pretty much nailed the whole, you know, redeeming myself thing. Perfect. That's why I trick. Great reason.

a drink. I bet that's why I listen drinks, too. You know what? Everyone kept bringing it up, so I think she got plenty of, plenty of entertainment out of it. Yeah. Perfect. Well, also, if anyone wants to weigh it on, like, maybe on a, like, a therapeutic, psychological level, please, please feel free. I think it's pretty self-exploitory. I think you just... Do you? Yeah, I think you just needed some control for a second. To let off some... Yeah, okay, that's, that makes sense.

Yeah. You were six. Who cares? I was so good at it. That's interesting. That's scary. That's scary. That's what's scary. me. And then I'm, like, looking at Leona, who's literally a duplicate of me, and I'm like, uh-oh. Well, the second you get a call from the school, and they're like, everyone's backpacks are all crazy. I'd be like, crazy. That does mean you speak German, right? Yeah. Okay, just wanted to make sure that I didn't just like, no, very good. Very, very apropos, yes. Throw another language out under the bus for some reason. Hey, Leona really won't eat anything

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slash drink to get free shipping and 365-day returns. Quins.com slash drink. Okay, well, I have a story for you. I know that I want to give you a thank you because we're recording an hour late because I was trying to finish up some notes. And even though you gave me that hour,

I have to regretfully tell you that I still didn't do nearly as much research as I would have liked because every time I thought, oh, this is the last documentary. There was like five more that showed up. And I was like, what the fuck? And you have to weigh the like pros and cons because you're like, okay, well, obviously more I know the better, but then I can get inundated with so much info that you're like,

well, what do I include? What do I leave out? Yeah. Well, thank you for justifying that because I do feel like there's got to be, I'm sure one documentary I didn't watch had like some completely different plot twist and I didn't get to see that one. So I hope I do this justice. I did quite a lot of research,

but I don't know if I'm going to miss a big plot hole. Usually I don't rest until I've watched and gathered everything. And this time, I was trying to just do my notes and then I was going to watch stuff. And it's just timing. It didn't work out, I guess. But anyway, so I'm a little nervous to cover this. Hopefully, hopefully people in the area are. You got it.

Oh, that's not me snapping at you to like hurry up. That's me clapping. Yeah, yeah. I got you. Okay. And the lecture is not like, okay, speed it up now. All right then, hurry up. Are you paying attention?

Yeah. Okay, so I guess this is my attempt at the Kexburg incident, which is a UFO moment. I've heard about it, but I don't know any. I don't know any. I don't remember. I don't remember. I promise. I just, I say that to say, oh, M.G, I'm excited for a UFO story because you know.

Actually, yesterday was thinking, God, I keep learning stuff about aliens and hearing stuff about aliens. are everywhere in my in my like it might be the algo you know just my life algo and so i think you're just kind of confirming that for me well thank you well i one of the things that i'm most frustrated about is that i constantly want to give you UFO stories because i know you enjoy them but and i cannot be satiated but after like 500 episodes there's only so many left with really good meat to them so i want to do those justice and this happens to be one of them and then i just like couldn't even there was

the what did fucking Lindsay Lowland say the limit does not exist when it comes to like I was like

didn't a mathematician say that what did Lindsay Lohan say played by Lindsay Lohan said a lot of things no I just

I'm just frustrated because like I finally got a really good one and then like I just kept there kept being more and I'm like well there's nothing

I can do at some point so listen what I tell myself in those scenarios is hey I can always do a deeper dive for some other YouTube Patreon or another episode.

Who knows? We can do what you want. We can always revisit. This is your world. We're just living in it. You know, and I've always said that. And Lindsay Lohan has always said that. She's always backed me mathematically. Oh, that's beautiful. So Kexburg is in Pennsylvania. Actually, the Kexburg incident has also been called by a few

of these articles and documentaries as Pennsylvania's Roswell. Oh, okay. Which, by the way, I'm aware I've never covered Roswell because that one horrifies me. Talk about having a lot of meat to it. Oh, horrifies. I was going to say, I know some creepy stuff happened there. But yeah, as far as research is concerned, yeah.

Yeah, that'll be a big one. Big one. That'll be like a three-parter situation. Multi-part, yeah. Because then there's all this stuff during when, like. And the government gets involved. And then Jen Z got involved. I hate when John Z gets involved.

Oh, yeah. Just kidding. They were all like, we're going to Roswell. And it's like COVID. And anyway. literally like they I feel like I was right when COVID it was like right yes I think it got canceled because of COVID or something like it was almost like it got started during COVID and then they were like wait a second we can't really do that and then the day it was supposed to happen only a few

people showed up or something it's like they had no follow through for those who don't know there was like a massive group of people like thousands and thousands of people and think about how TikTok was like taking off so it was like the first like big TikTok jenzy movement this whole group of people were like we're going to go storm area 51 we're tired of them not to telling us what's in there and they were like they can't get all of us yeah yeah they can't get all of us I mean that's the most genzy thing I ever heard and just try and I feel like it happened in like March 2020 and I think with COVID they were like we'll postpone and then the the fire died tragic tragic maybe you can reignite it for us maybe the government created COVID so they

wouldn't fucking start area 51 finally a theory that makes sense thank you okay so kexburgh incident is in Keksburg, Pennsylvania, and this was in 1965. This was in December. Ketsburg, by the way, is 30 miles south of Pittsburgh. Okay. And it was a small little area. The population wasn't even a thousand people. So around 4.45 p.m., all of a sudden, multiple reports start coming in the area of a fireball in the sky. Fireball in the sky. I can have a close. I just need a butterfly to fly past the screen or something. Really, really pixelated graphics. They said that they saw a fireball in the sky.

They said it looked from where they were standing as to up in the sky as about a football size object, which I would say that's like pretty fucking big, right? If it's a football size in the sky. If it looks full size to you, right, then it's pretty fucking large. Like a plane looks like a football size maybe to me. in this guy, not even. Like if it's, like, pretty low, yeah. So, yeah, it was a football-sized object on fire with smoke trailing behind it.

And many people also reported that not only was there this fireball, but there was a lot of falling debris in the area. Not only people in Pennsylvania saw this, this is the strangest part. And, like, weirdly not fucking elaborated on at all is that people in different states apparently saw this. in different chunks. Like there were reports through like Ohio, Indiana, Virginia, Canada. Oh. Like multiple reports where like if you line it all up, it sounds like you all saw the same thing,

but as it was passing through their areas. Oh, okay. That's what I'm understanding. If I'm getting that wrong, somebody tell me, because it was shocking to me how little that was talking about. Like Ohio and Pennsylvania makes sense, I guess, like if it were going in a certain direction. One of them was in Indiana.

Indiana. Indiana was one of them? That's also on the line. The only thing that throws me off is Canada. But I guess maybe if you came from the north and swooped into Indiana, I don't know. I have no idea. All I know is that, hang on, my stepdad intersect me. Oh, shit. He said something about getting me a hover disk for Christmas. What? Okay. You better respond to that right away and say 100 emoji. Check it out and tell me what you think. Everybody is going to watch me look at this hover disk. Say Christine would also like one.

too. Oh, it's literally a big ass drone or something. It looks like a lawnmower, but a backpack. I don't want this. What is this? I don't. I'm just going to write. But tell me what you say to say no, thank you. I think I'm just going to write. That's hard. Oh. Oh. I'm like, you have to be really thoughtful about that. And you're like, no. Well, the irony, I literally, I just sent him, I know I'm like literally in my 30s talking to a man in his 60s, but I sent him a Christmas list. Because I just wanted to make sure. He's like, how about this instead? Yeah, I was like, did you not just see the everything else I said?

Like a mug and like a sweatshirt I saw. Like it was like nothing big. I was like, hey, in case you need any ideas. A new HVAC system. A fucking hover disc lawnmower backpack. I mean, to be fair, that does scream M. It does sound. Yeah.

But I was like, the mug is fine, you know. Actually, let's just stick to the mug. Yeah. Yeah, I was like, because I also know my mom, bless her, she tries really hard. but a lot of times she'll send me things that like 17 year old me would have loved and I'm like, I think maybe we need some inspo. Let me just send some inspo your way.

Anyway, sorry everyone, watching the Christmas planning happening. Seriously, I'm into it. But yeah, so I thought that was really odd that there were reports from all these places that if you line them up time-wise, it sounds like they were all seeing the same thing flying through their area at according times.

Interesting. at their respective times. Anyway. And even pilots from the sky saw something fiery in the sky but couldn't tell what it was. Some people on the ground reported seeing just a glowing object

with wisps of colorful light flying above them. Some people saw something glowing really, really brightly where they couldn't even look at it. There were reports of an object that was slowly descending from the sky, almost as if it was attempting a controlled landing. Okay, because I was going to say you wouldn't think it would be a slow,

low descent if it were like just a meteor crashing to earth but what do I know I think you know a lot remember that fucking sentence you just said thank you that's what I wanted to hear um this is one quote this is two quotes from two different people that saw something that day we saw this thing coming over the top of the trees it just glided right across the sky like across the horizon another person said you knew what an airplane looked like you knew what a helicopter looked like and that didn't look like anything we had ever seen before. And at the angle it was coming in, you knew that it was going to hit the ground.

Which is terrifying. That's the scariest thing. Yeah. To see something like, and you're like, that's crash. I've had dreams about that, like helicopters crashing and stuff. Yeah. Freaks me out. Well, I mean, a fireball of coming towards you and like it's getting bigger and bigger

and you know it's going to fall. And you can't do anything. You can't like even warn anyone, you know? And to me, for some reason, the eriest part is that other people said it looked like it was trying to control its landing. Yes. So it's almost like, let's pretend it was a UFO and they were aliens inside. It was almost like they were trying to do like an emergency landing of our own spacecraft.

And now I'm empathetic towards the fucking aliens. I know. Put on your seatbelt. Yeah. So anyway, a lot of people in Kexburg, Pennsylvania, despite all these other places making reports, in Kexburg, they started reporting to see something crash land in the woods. There were apparently reports of a sonic boom. which not everybody heard

which makes you think it wasn't a sonic room. I don't know if that's quick. That's what we would call a sonic boom as that day's like yellow journalism. So sometimes when I sneeze too loud, I call it a sonic bird. Right, exactly. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

It's just called colorful language. Yeah, a lot of people also were reporting fires in grass nearby them, almost as if one of two things was happening that maybe it had already begun crashing and was bouncing across the field and leaving like this big fiery spot on the ground. or that it was falling apart in pieces

and the flaming debris Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So everyone in town was seeing this thing or at least nobody who knew somebody who was seeing this thing. People start running towards the woods to see what the object was and a lot of them even said

that they knew the moment this thing officially landed because they all felt a big vibrational thump on the ground. A sonic boom, perhaps. Sonic boom from inside the Earth's crest. Some of the people were able to actually describe

what crashed into the ground. and I say only some people, bear with me. So, okay, everyone hears this thing. They feel the boom. They run towards it. And the first group of people who get there are able to describe what they see. And they call it basically this giant metallic acorn.

Whoa. With, it's got some sort of symbols on it. A lot of websites were calling it hieroglyphics. That felt a little yucky, but I'm just going to go with symbols as the phrase. apparently the acorn had no seams on it which we've heard a lot about with spacecrafts it had no wings it had no like there was nothing on it that made you think this thing should be able to fly and it was glowing so brightly that it looked like someone was welding oh weird

like a bright blue electric lightning and they're glowing and then you think like oh the metal's like this like liquidy metal that doesn't need seams and it's like ooh what kind of alchemy you know what that's exactly what they said What kind of alchemy is going on here? There was a volunteer fireman that night named James, and he's like, I'm so glad I volunteered to be a fireman. This is so kick ass. It's like, of all the things are going to happen in Kexperg, Pennsylvania in 1965, this is the moment.

I've never thought I want to be a volunteer fireman. I know that probably comes as a shock to everyone, but I will say this is the first time I've ever thought, maybe that is for me. Certainly, the second that someone else voluntarily gets a position where they get to see something cool, I'm like, well, now that must be my. Well, I think I would have to do that too. Well, so James, he volunteered that night. And I think, I feel like I got conflicting stuff.

But mainly what I was hearing is that he volunteered that night and he was responding to what he thought was multiple reports of somebody saying that like a plane had crashed in the sky. Oh, shit. Yeah, that's scary. Nobody knew what it was. They just saw something flying out of the sky covered in flames. And it's metal and you're like, oh, it's some sort of aircraft. Yeah. Yeah.

So a lot of people, maybe people. thought it was a UFO, but enough people thought that it was just a plane crash, and now the fire department has to come save people. So that was kind of the way that it was first introduced to him, but this is a quote that he was able to give about what he saw. He was one of the first

people who was there. This is a long one, but worth it. The object looked exactly like a fresh acorn that you would pick off of a tree. There were no wings, there were no motors, there were no propellers. There was no identification whatsoever that could identify it as an aircraft,

that I would know. There was a bumper on the bottom part of it, and on the bumper there is what I call, it looked to me like ancient Egyptian hieroglyphics. It had markings like stars, shapes, figures, and circles, and lines, and what it was, I don't know. To this day, I've never seen anything like it. So we're all standing around this thing,

wondering what the heck it could be, and finally, here come two men down through the woods. And they took one look at the object and immediately told us to leave. we are in charge we're taking command were they men in black you know per chance in the black of night yeah yeah yeah hold that thought also okay uh we are in charge we're taking command get out of here is what they said oh my god so we left there and by the time we got back down here to the fire hall this place was wall to wall military also like wow they must have been really they must have had some gravitas to just walk in and go we're in charge of

get out and everyone's like okay bye yeah true you know like you'd think someone would go head well who are you you know but it's like whoa no apparently they're in charge so i did see one source say that after all the military was there and then after all the military left there were people kind of still snooping around trying to see if they could that would be me again yeah um i don't know if they really found anything but i would absolutely do that i'd be like you better restrain me if you don't want me to know about this i would take your hoverboard backpack and fly over there just like a little drone just to take a few pictures you know what that was perfect timing for him to send something like seriously he's like he's like feeling the UFO vibes in case you ever need to iron man through the sky

and find a UFO and then all of a sudden you're the UFO you know what I mean that's pretty cool that's pretty cool I just pulled up a picture of it just because I'm like yeah I know it's wild it literally literally but like not a metal one it looks like yellow or is that just what they is it in is it look like it's a recent picture yeah okay so it's like a monument or something okay gotcha, gotcha. And also remember it was like apparently huge. Right. The shape of it is wild, though.

Yeah, you're right. It literally looks like an acorn. They were, some were also calling like a bell-shaped craft, and everyone was like, it's an acorn. It's literally an acorn. I mean, and the bigger part is on the bottom. So, like, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Like an upside right, right side up? Acorn? It's sort of an upside-down acorn because usually they hang from the top. I was going to say, what makes it upside down? But I guess you're right. Well, they hang from the stem. it's sort of like where the stem would be is the other side. Right, but I would almost assume that's right side up because it's like it's a little

tushy is sitting on the ground. Listeners, weigh in. Wouldn't that be its head? Hmm, I don't know. Listeners, which one's the head and which one's the tushy on an acorn? Let me know. We're not scientists, okay? Sheesh.

Anyway, what a lot of people said is even more jarring than the actual UFO incident or seeing something fall out of the fucking sky and fire. what was more jarring to a lot of people was just how quickly the military appeared like it was eerie how fast they showed up well you got Canada reporting sightings you got Ohio Indiana so it's probably been crashing for a while

or slowly descending on fire for a while so I guess they probably had like a couple hours to get people I don't know a couple hours maybe not I don't know and I wonder how many how many phone calls until the military shows up in like 10 minutes or less because right like who what's the

secret line where it's like there's no questions just be at these coordinates you know it's like hey actually this is getting out of sorts and how do they even track it with i guess that's just crazy especially if it's a UFO and like not our technology so how would they be able to find it so quickly they've got eyes on it like radar on it or something well hold that thought god damn it christine what can i say you should i really think like if there was such a thing as like um like ghost centers but like for alien like aliens. Oh, I thought you were going to say, I don't know what I thought you were going to say. Well, I think.

But for geniuses, that's what I thought you were going to say. Right, right, right. I think you should be like an active UFO investigator because the way that you're just whip and the shit out is crazy. Listen, it's just like it makes sense to me. You know, I'm like, I get it. It's just a gift. God gave it to me.

That's what I can do about it. Yeah. I'm a victim here. I'm just a pleadingian. So, yeah, the military showed up really quickly. Within an hour, local police, state police and the U.S. Army were, in Kexburg, roping off the woods and setting up roadblocks. Reporters tried asking officials what was going on because, of course, if everyone's there,

the reporters were there too. And actually one reporter, I forget his name, I think it was John Murphy, he claims that he was one of the first people to be on the scene before the military got there and he was able to get pictures of this thing. And then they were later confiscated. Of course they were. But he did later end up, it inspired him to like make his own radio document. drama about I think it was

fuck I forget what it was called but he ends up doing like a whole series where it was inspired by these events okay so yeah the local please state police US army all show up they're like sealing off the area reporters are trying to ask the officials

what's going on they're left with only more questions authorities say that military engineers and scientists were on the way which like the fact that authorities are saying that to the public is crazy Yep Some locals actually claim

that they were told the area was only sealed off just in case of radioactivity which does admit that something odds going on

like if you're going to say something radioactive might be here you're telling the public that something is going on Although you could pitch

it as like this is a foreign invasion type thing or like a terrorism type angle sure not that that's like less scary

right but I don't know yeah I don't know all I know is that they were some people were told to back off because it might be radioactive and I would it would work though it would work though we'd all be like oh fuck I don't care what it is get me away uh other radioactive acorn I mean really others claim that the military and then men in trench coats essentially told them nothing to see here and then told them that they needed to leave which is kind of what this firefighter said but if you're telling everybody if as you're sealing off

the area something radioactive might be here military engineers and scientists are on the way and then also another group of people are like nothing to see here it's like what yeah immediate immediate gigantic blaring siren redflex like right especially for this one kid named john hayes because john haze he happened to live in a farmhouse with his family which overlooked the woods pretty perfectly and the military somehow fucking knew this i don't know how i don't know if they had maybe just a general map of the area or what but he remembers and his parents remember someone knocking on the door and it's the military don't answer the door ever i'm telling you it's never a good thing the military they moved into their house for the night and used it as their home base while they started an investigation

isn't that literally in the fucking constitution i'm pretty sure you know that you can that the army yeah right like that the army can just fucking move in and i remember in fifth grade learning not going, hey, does anybody else find that a little problematic? And everyone's like, I'd give my house to the army. And I was like, congratulations. I hope a fucking flying acorn lands in your backyard then. Well, John Hayes' family said that. I wonder, honestly, if it was an alien investigation, I think I'd be too fucking nosy.

You'd be like, move in, quick. Oh, yeah. If they were just not investigating me and investigating the flaming acorn, I'd probably be like, I'll just sit over here while you do your work, gentlemen. However, we are now outwardly publicly admitting that if anyone ever wants to investigate us, they just have to knock on the door and say that we think there was an alien. and can we come in? I mean, honestly, if they hadn't picked up on that by now,

their sources aren't that good. So, yeah. Well, it worked for John Hayes' family. I don't know if they wanted them there, but they seemed to be fine with it. Basically, they just all moved in. And remember, wall-to-wall military. So this is actually a quote from John.

I think he was like 10 when this happened. He said, the first thing they did was tell my parents to send the kids. The first thing they did was tell my parents to send us kids to bed. Well, naturally, I was excited. First of all, I'd be like, fuck you. You don't get to tell my kids to go to bed. They'd be like, they'd move out in five.

So they'd move out in five seconds. They'd be like, this is not the, we're going to put a tent outside. The military would move in and then move out when I asked too many questions. I go, what are you doing? What are you doing? It'd be like, can I offer you lemonade? And they're like, no, again. No.

John says, well, naturally, I was excited by all the goings on. And our bathroom was downstairs. So I made quite a few trips to the bathroom. You're like brushing your teeth really slowly. One, yeah, one stroke at a time. There were a lot of men in uniforms, and there were some men in suits. And it was clear that the men in suits were in charge of everything. They were over the top.

They were over top of the military, and they had a lot of clout. I couldn't see down into the hollow where they were at, but I did see six guys in radiation suits. Take a box down there, and I didn't see them bring it out. Yeah, chesting fur. Oh, my God, that's so freaky. his mom i think it was his mom um yeah yes i think his mom she was quoted saying the military was coming in and out of the house all evening and they were making a lot of phone calls and they were on their phone and they were standing around in groups talking i have no idea who they telephoned but no calls turned up

on my bill god you oh that's so gross why is it so freaky that they preemptively like canceled all the calls or they have some, like, thing to turn off the billing. Ew. And also, it sounds like it's that easy to just not charge people. Seriously. Also, what is the code I'm just asking for a friend? Just kidding. As if anyone has a landline.

But still, fascinating. And also, the fact that, oh, don't you wish at that point that you'd gotten the bonus landline phone for upstairs and you're like, I just want to pick it off the receiver and listen. My dream is that they forgot to, like, pull one of the landlines out of the wall, and we just still get free calls for the rest of the time. Oh, that's good. Yeah.

just be like there's one thing before you leave yeah you can you can use our house and everyone for alien investigations but we get free phone calls for the rest of our lives it's just like there are numbers now just like CIA yeah well so john also uh was later uh quoted saying i know i'll probably never get a straight answer but i know they went down in to the hollow where they saw this thing they went down in with an empty truck and they came out with something on the back of it uh was it a giant acorn well in fact many people ended up reporting seeing the military leaving town with a flatbed truck carrying something the size of a car under a tarp the investigation or military search or whatever you want

to call it was over by 1 a.m so they were only there for five hours whoa they are speedy and by the next day the newspapers were obviously calling this a UFO crash landing obviously because it is I mean even the reporters were fucking there being like this is crazy yeah it's actually unknown for sure what would have happened once the UFO was taken like where it would have gone next but one former Air Force member came out saying that he knows

the UFO was taken from that area to Lockbourne Air Force Base and then to Wright Patterson Air Force Base and he knows that's where my mommy worked he knows that because he claims he was the one responsible for guarding it while it was at one of the bases

sometimes I'm like mom look around and she's like okay and I'm like look for alien clues she's probably made this far by knowing to keep her eyes shut she's fair fair enough being on a green card for so many years i think probably gave her a little bit of that hypervigilance yeah i know nothing yeah nothing nothing nothing as for what this thing could have been if it exists if it existed at all um some think it could have been a test rocket but both the coast guard and the air force say that they didn't launch any rockets which i love it's what radioactive for fun right right um so the army the air force and the coast guard have

all been involved in this at this point, which is wild. They're all blaming each other. Like, no, it's just the Coast Guard. No, it's just the Navy. Like, okay. And but you're right. Like, interesting that they said it was radioactive. Now they're saying, well, maybe it was our own test rocket, but then someone's saying,

no, it wasn't a test rocket at all. Soil analysis did suggest that something odd was going on over there, but it was nothing crash site worthy. Like there was, it was nothing that people would. What about like the burn marks and stuff in the other places? It just looked like a normal burn mark or something? I guess so. It was nothing to, like, write home about it, I guess.

Okay. Trajectory analysis of this thing flying in the sky suggests that nothing that was on our radars could have crashed here. Anything that was in the sky that night, even if it crashed landed, it couldn't have landed in Taksburg, Pennsylvania. Oh, okay. Okay, like physics-wise. Mm-hmm.

Okay, okay. Others think that this could have been some sort of re-entry vehicle into our atmosphere um because those happen to be this i'm i'm taking it i'm not saying the direct quote but what i got out of the quote is that uh it might have been this exact type of reentry vehicle because those happen to be nuclear so if it did crash land it would explain why the military moves so fast to get it out of a town okay fair enough um and also it might have been radioactive it could have exploded we don't know so that's a good guess is like maybe it was something that we know could hurt everybody, but also if it was one of our reentry vehicles, and that's something

that would have been on our radars, and we just determined that nothing on our radars would have crashed. Right. A lot of people thought that it could have been a Russian probe called the Cosmos 96, because that day, I know. Sounds so, like, futuristic for the time. For 65, yeah, for 1965. The Cosmos 96. Wow. It's like the Cosmo 3,000, you know? Yeah. One day when the year 3,000 hits, all of our stuff is not going to be cool anymore. Oh, it's so sad.

I wonder what the cool year and the year 3,000 will be. It's got to be 10,000 at that point. It's got to be five at least. Yeah, five or 10. Well, so a lot of people thought it might be this Russian probe, the Cosmos 96, because that actually is a satellite that reentered the atmosphere that day. Okay. However, it reentered at three in the morning, not five at night.

Oh, okay. okay, okay. Plus, there's no way, as it was reentering our atmosphere, it would not have landed in Pennsylvania. Yeah, that's the part that I'm kind of caught up, or caught up by, caught off, caught up, forget it. Hmm? Okay. Forget it. Forget it. Um, okay, so they determined, hey, it's not this Russian satellite. However, for some reason, this part, I'm very confused on how this came to be. Um, NASA later then tried to push. that it actually was a Russian satellite, even though they already proved that that's not true.

And then they also said, they also gave, they said later, well, you know, there's more information about it that we haven't told anybody, but the documents have been misplaced. So how convenient. So, yeah, we're NASA. We messed up and lost all the paperwork. Okay, sure.

I believe that. That feels like you sent someone to the moon. NASA should at least have, NASA should at least have, a like a one pager with bullets on like every day every day of the calendar year and it just says yes or no if there was a fucking UFO that day right because then and then just save that well it'll say no every day right because like that's just what they have to say so they should remind themselves you're supposed to say no you'd think someone has the cliff notes of like oh yeah that was a bad day this was a good day oops um so anyway after

lawsuits to NASA to release the actual documents and conduct a research on the missing ones, they ended up providing new information, but according to one investigator named Leslie Keene, there was no smoking gun. So even though they gave us more information, they really didn't give us more information. Hey, that sounds familiar. Hmm, what do you mean? What do you mean? What do I mean? Like, hmm, it's almost as if before today, other people have told government organizations to release the files. And then they said, well, it's real, but then it's not, but then it's real, but then it's missing.

Oh, and now we can't find it. Actually, we don't know what's going on. NASA says no. Anyway, yes, so release the files. That's the main moral of this story. And I'm talking the Kexburg files, okay, people. So they ended up, yeah, giving more information, but the information was the only new information they really gave was that they confirmed that NASA did

quote play a role in the recovery and examination of space object debris so it does confirm that they collected something while they were there but it doesn't say what to any real degree but it's from space but it's from space um this whole lawsuit debacle this is like i'm really just to save time not even getting into the drama of this but it's very interesting um this whole lawsuit debacle was sponsored by the The Fee Network. I thought you were going to say, like, sponsored by Crest. And I was like, whoa.

And that's why we drink promo code drink. I wish. So one of the reasons a lot of people don't believe, like, the files ended up saying, oh, NASA picked up space debris. They're like, oh, this might have been a publicity stunt. Like, Sci-Fi Network was like, we want to make this as interesting as possible, sort of. Maybe. Wait, but what year was this? 2000, from 2003, the SIFI, SIFI Network.

came out with a one of the documentaries i was trying to watch and didn't get enough time to do um it's called the new roswell kexberg exposed and while doing i think during that time they had an investigator working with them named leslie keen and was she was trying to get more information and she basically ended up using like the freedom of FOIA i don't know freedom of information act yes yeah i was like what yes good job christine uh They were trying to use that to help in their lawsuit to get more of the documents release. And I guess sci-fi, the network decided that they were going to help pay for, I think, for lawyers or something. So this was like later.

I thought this was like back in the 60s. I'm like, they had the sci-fi network back in that. Okay. So I think this all came out when sci-fi was trying to come out with a documentary. And then they were trying to get more information. Gotcha. At least around the time, I think the documentary had already come out and they were still like just in the middle of this, you know, hullabaloo of trying to get more information

in case they wanted to, I don't know, make another one. I'm a little confused about the timeline here, but I know that from 2003 and 2007 is when all that went out. Okay. Also, I want to say Leslie Keene, I knew she was familiar. She wrote the book Surviving Death, which I have read. It's really interesting. But she's not investigator. She's a journalist. Like, she's not a police investigator or anything like that. No, but she is called in a lot of stores as an investigative reporter. Yeah, yeah, exactly, yeah, yeah. Okay, cool.

Thank you. Yeah, yeah, yeah, no, just confirming. But anyway, it was Leslie Keene and the Siffy Network versus NASA, I guess. Yeah, good luck. And they ended up getting information, but who knows if it was all the information or just some of the information. Or they just, like, did something to appease them and, yeah, cobbled to me together. And then even if they gave them anything that was helpful, people still said, well, this could be

publicity stunt for sci-fi and closely keen. Anyway, all that to say most people think that this was a natural experience, a.k.a. it was a meteor. Okay, okay. Which would explain the small fires that broke apart, that broke apart

and slowly fell onto the ground. Others say that it couldn't be a meteor because meteors, as you mentioned, don't move the way that this thing was moving in the sky. It was slowing... Just like a left turn out of Canada. Yeah, I guess. Not really. Slowing down as it fell. Some people were saying it was gliding in the air um right side butt side up right side down and despite all this

uh you know the arguments against this a lot of skeptics including the pentagon and project blue book themselves they the skeptics including the pentagon yeah you have to hope they're skeptics uh i don't have to hope someone yeah if anyone while it's officially deemed a meteor many locals and witnesses uh remain convinced it was a UFO it's still discussed in the town today apparently I like to imagine that there's somebody with like a Bumble profile in that area who's like, you tell me what you think happened at Kexper. Yeah, yeah.

You'll get along if dot, dot, dot, dot. I haven't been on a dating app in two decades or something. But yeah, you will get along if you think Keksberg was something like that. Radioactive alien material. Well, like many locals, there's one UFO researcher named Stan Gordon and he is very hesitant to believe what the government has to say about it.

This is a long quote, but a good quote, to end on of what Stan thinks happened here. Tell me what Stan thinks. Within several miles of the crash site, multiple witnesses tell us that this object was coming in at a very, very slow speed of descent. Meteors do not make controlled turns. They do not come in at a slow speed like this,

and they, in fact, do not glide in, which this thing apparently did. There is no entry at all for the day, there is no entry at all for that day in the December log of all activities for the radar squadron. That tells us somebody apparently wanted to keep all the information associated with this involvement in that site away from public information. See?

The report indicated that there was quite a lot of interest by government agencies as to what the object might have been. There were memos there and requests for information from Houston Space Center, from no rad, from the Air Force Command Post, the Pentagon, even the chairman of the Office of Emergency Planning requested information. See, and then they're like, it's just a rock. And then Stan says, either we're dealing with some highly advanced space probe or the possibility exists that we may indeed be dealing with an extraterrestrial spacecraft.

So even he's like, come on, if you all want this so bad, you obviously. Seriously. So New Year's Eve, 1990, Unsolved Mysteries puts out an episode of this. Oh, yes. This event is what garnered this case to have UFO real fame outside of the town. And for the episode, Unsolved Mysteries actually built a life-sized replica of the acorn-shaped UFO. Oh, okay, okay. And they use it in the show for the re-dramatization.

But when they were done with filming, they gifted it to the town. That is so fun. And so you can go see what is now called the Space Acorn. And there's also a UFO store in Kexburg for tourists. So. Well, well, well, that's about four hours from me. So let's get started on that drive. Well, you can figure out a plan to go in the summer because every summer the fire department,

the volunteer fire department, puts out an annual UFO. festival. I love that the fire department's like, even we understand that this is like we were the first ones there and we're going to keep this. We saw what we saw. Apparently there's a parade. There's a firework show. They hold a conference with UFO speakers. Wow. And so that was all I could get on Kexburg instant. But if you would like to watch some of the documentaries or watch some of the things that I either got to watch or will be watching, there's Unsolved Mysteries. I think it was season three episode one. Then there's the Siffy documentary. New Roswell, Kexberg, exposed. Then there's a documentary called Kexberg, The Untold Story, Secrets of UFOs, America's Other Roswell, and then Discovery Channel and History Channel both have their own series too. There's UFO hunters, ancient aliens, and Nazi UFO conspiracy. Cool.

Because one of the theories is that this thing might have actually been one of the Nazi UFOs called The Bell, or DiGlock. Digluck. Yeah. Here, here, here, I got something for you. We started at Nazi UFO conspiracy. What are you going to say? I was going to sing you a song, but I think maybe I'm not going to do that anymore.

I was going to sing you a nice Christmas song about bells, because that means the bell, yeah. And so I was like, oh, I have songs about Christmas bells. And then I was like, well, you have to now. Well, I don't know anymore how it goes. Oh, but that's magical. That's very convenient, Christy. I just accidentally forgot about how it goes. Do you want me to sing in Flemish, though?

Because it could do that again. I've heard too much of that from you, the Flemish song. I still have a somewhere. There's, like, video of you doing that, isn't there? I, Marique, Marique. Yes, there is. Yeah. Oh, my gosh.

Well done. You sang the whole thing. It was like a six-minute song or something. It was not correct either, I'm sure. Oh. I'm sure it just sounds. I mean, listen, it was my attempt at it, but I'm sure it sounded like gibberish. I wouldn't know.

It sounded great. Thank you so much. Well, anyway, that's another topic. I'll be covering at some point the say it again the gluca yeah it's hard because this has an omel out but apparently that is a whole Nazi something UFO where apparently it has to do with time travel

which is like the irony because couldn't we use that and go back and get rid of the Nazis anyway um oh I see maybe it's the glauque glauco I thought gluck I meant now I just want to make sure I'm not like blotching my own native tongue All I know is in the U.S. of A, baby. That's called The Bell. Uh-huh.

Okay. Well, maybe I'm saying. I'm going on. Anyway, a lot of people thought that that might be what this was. My computer's like, I know you're trying to talk about UFOs. And I'm like, just tell me how to say bell in German. Anyway, that is the Kexberg incident. That's, oh, it is glocker.

Sorry, de glockered, not glocker. I don't know what I was saying. I feel like when I do cover it, I'll just have to like bleep out my mouth and you just say, di gloca every time i have to say it that was good that you literally said it more correctly than i said it the first time because i thought that's why i was saying it gluckian is like the diminutive of like the like you know when you say like you know when you add like a little twist to the end of a word to make it like kind of cutesy like blotchen like people call me like my dad would always call me christinechen like it yeah so gluckian so you add anyway that's why i said it like that it's like is it like

in Spanish when you put Ito at the end of something? Yes, that was what I was trying to think of the Spanish Ito, yes, exactly. That's my attempt to walk myself out of saying a very obvious German word incorrectly. Again, I wouldn't know. So if I'm the only one currently here and I would have been impressed either way. I appreciate that always and forever. Thank you. Yeah. Anyway, what the fuck, dude? Okay, so I have a question because I can't stop thinking about these hieroglyphic symbols on the side. Is this something that anybody has recreated? Like, is this something where they're like, oh, I remember what some of them looked like, you know? Not what I saw.

I just kind of saw, I read the description about just having like stars and circles and lines, which doesn't look like, that doesn't sound like hieroglyphics to me. That just sounds like fucking shapes. But I guess, but like look at the reenact, the recreation of it has all these symbols on it. And I wonder if they made those up or if it was like an attempt to like copy a certain. Yeah, I don't know. Because they do have these like really wild looking. symbols on it and I'm like I don't know where they came up with that if they don't know what it actually looked like you know I bet it was in that one fucking documentary I didn't have time to

look like okay fair enough I should not be on the spot I just can't get over it I mean what do do you think do you have an opinion because I do I mean I think it was something fucking weird for every it seems space themed organization in our government to be curious about it and then magically have files that they can't release or have been misplaced and then they're also telling people nothing to see here and I mean it certainly certainly actually let me use your landline real quick to call the government to call the president okay yeah and also um also how cool is that to know that your phone might have called the president yeah but you can't prove it because they didn't bill you for it yeah you know what that's exactly right I'm sending you this picture because

look at these creepy symbols on it I do think um I think it was, like, the little kid, John Hayes or something, he did say, if there was nothing, if it was nothing, why don't you just, like, let everyone see what it was? Seriously, if it's just a big rock and then it's not radioactive. Like, if it was a meteor, like, wouldn't the, like, you have had the local press come out and take pictures of, like, a meteor shower? And, like, you all got to, like, take a picture with a fucking meteor. Especially if you're the government and you're so relieved, it's not a crashed alien and you're like, shit, thank God we don't have to cover this up, you know? Oh, wow. These are very interesting.

Isn't that weird? They're, like, so, so detailed. these symbols yeah i don't know what that's about i do i really got it handed to unsolved mysteries to let them have the egg one what else are they going to do with it fucking fly it to l.a on fire part of me wonders like what what is it made of because if it was made in the 90s for like an episode of something it might just be a styrofoam and i'm so impressed with how no i was about to say it's guaranteed something like that like they must have like spackled over it just to keep right just like spray it with a bunch of like

whatever Gina put all over my dead bugs. Oh, poor Gina. I'm like looking at pictures. I mean, it's really, and if you look at it sideways, somebody made like a drawing of it sideways. It does look like a saucer, like almost like a UFO saucer when it's sideways because it's like the bump with the,

you know, it looks sort of that shape. Yeah. It looks like the, it's so weird. Part of it's like a little too tall and one part's not wide enough, but it looks like a squished in some way. UFO. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And nobody's telling me about the symbols, which is just going to drive me nuts, but, um, I know, right? Maybe I'll watch Siffy. By the way, we say that if you're new here,

first of all, while you've been through an episode today, but second of all, you can explain him. It's just, it's the sci-fi network, but, uh, my dad always called it Siffy. So it's now lovingly called Siffy over here. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, from day one and was like, oh, I don't want to correct him. I didn't have the heart. Or I just don't have the heart. Or I just Maybe he knew and he just played it off so confidently that now I'm the confused one. I think probably that's not the case. I don't know. I don't know which one it is, but I don't want to find out at this point.

Most grown adult men who pronounce Siffy, whatever. I don't know. Listen, I'm no scientist. You know that. I don't know. I know nothing. So it was metallic, though, right? And you said it had no seams.

But then they made the recreation out of like what literally looks like. With clay. Like foam or clay. It's weird. Yeah. I do wonder how much of that is just like, back in the day, a pixelated camera in the 90s wouldn't have even clocked half that detail maybe.

Or maybe if we're serious about maybe it's now weatherproof, maybe this is a new coating of something else. They're like, let's paint it yellow. Yeah. No, they did say it was like a metallic gold acorn. Oh, okay. Well, so then actually in some lighting, I think it might be then they use, you're probably right that they just use certain like camera or lighting because like look at this picture.

And this is like kind of a saturated, but it looks like shiny gold almost, which Yeah, it looks like a brushed bronze or something. Yes, that's right. Brushed bronze, my least favorite of the sink finishes. Interesting. I don't know. What's the one where it's the brushed and it's like kind of black but also metal? I hate that one.

I thought that was brushed bronze maybe. I don't like it. I don't either. Brushed copper, perhaps. I like copper. I just don't like, like don't pretend that it's old or something. It's just so weird to me. I'm like, come on.

Like, I was so. excited when I moved in my house and some stuff here is so old. It's like a house from 1860s. And then like 99% of it is just junk from home goods that was like glued to the wall to look old-timey. And I'm like, come on. Well, that's what I can't stand. I really can't stand the farmhouse look, which is why like this. A rustic boho chic thing. Well, it's like you're, it's obviously not a farm baby. It's really annoying. I find it annoying. I'm like, if you're going to go antique, like don't fake it. I don't know. You can find it. actual old shit for really cheap i don't know like they like for example in my bathroom there's like this

like toilet paper holder and it's like this bronze plaque and it says like paper company 1860 something and i was like that's so cool like i wonder if this is a thing and i google it and it's like immediately on lows or wayfair and i'm like okay so it's just some junky thing there's only sorry a motorcycle decided to go at lightning speed um the one thing that i don't care if it's tacky, I don't care, I don't care. I don't care. I, even though it's fake, I don't care. It just does something to a room to me. I fucking love an exposed beam. Oh, I love an exposed beam. I don't even care if it's a fake beam. But you can't even really fake that. Well, okay, yeah, you can. They do some pretty incredible fake beams these days. Yeah, but see, I feel like

that's at least like an aesthetic choice rather than like, I'm pretending like this is an antique like a, like a, yeah, I'm from a time. I mean, again, like as if I have any, like my room is literally has dirty cheese it's all over the floor i'm not saying i have any better taste than anyone i just i am exposed beams are incredible and everything else can go you know what i love is an exposed brick oh don't even fucking start with me on an exposed brick oh don't even that was the thing you know what i don't miss though or miss i've never had exposed brick the one thing i don't ever wish is having to nail something in oh i've been there i purchased these things that you hook into the, onto the brick and they like kind of clasp on.

They don't, they don't work as well as I'd hoped. I mean, I guess, like, it's just a, you just got to get some masonry stuff, I guess, but I don't really want to have to do that. I'm not, yeah, no, I've tried to put stuff in the brick and it did not go well. I, I've had to drill into concrete and it is not fun. Not fun. So. I agree.

I think you're right to not want to touch that. Thank you. Christine, now that it's 2026, she's on the way. I want to have like a signature little smell you know what I'm saying oh I love I've always wanted that the idea of getting a scent is so stressful because it can be really expensive for a whole bottle and what if you hate it and it's just it's not worth it half the time I know and then you don't really know and if you wear it a couple days and you're like yeah I'm over it's like oh good I have 140 dollars of it left no it's we've been there um that's why we're so excited to talk

about micro perfumes oh my gosh I went okay let me tell you about it first for just a few bucks you can test drive the real deal. They have Dior, Tom Ford, Creed. For example, I got this Lancombe perfume that I had smelled actually on someone when I was in Egypt and they were like, oh, it's this perfume. And I was like, what? I'm not going to go buy that. It's so expensive. But then I ordered like a little vial to try it on myself. And now I'm like considering that as my, as my little scent du jour, if you will. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Microperfumes lets you sample luxury fragrances and pocket-sized vials. And you get high-end experience. So you can smell as classy and swanky as you want, and you don't have to even worry about the price.

So why commit blind to a $200 bottle? Find your scent soulmate today and get up to 60% off at microperfumes.com slash drink. That's microperfumes.com slash drink for up to 60% off, microperfumes, real scents, no regrets. Hello, everyone. We're back. This is one of my favorite stories, and weirdly enough, doesn't contain a murder. Oh, thank God. Wow. Finally, some banter in this place. Happy Thanksgiving. this is a good one for banter okay this is the story of laurence joseph bader and i hadn't heard of the story and it's one of those where i thought well surely i've heard of every like completely insane

mystery case you know from but no this one i've never heard of uh i hope i'm not the only one because it felt like totally obscure to me but i listened to an episode of by the way trying to redeem myself again stuff you should know not things you should know which is what i called the podcast last time really embarrassing everybody corrected me and said they did not say you owe them an apology but I felt that I owed them an apology sure so stuff you should know

did a really good episode I also watched an episode of scary interesting on YouTube and then read some very colorful journalism from the 60s about this colorful journalism tells me that did they say a bad word or something in there

you know it's just like when they say things about like people like racist things not racist but like I don't know that that's relevant I don't know that like how she looks or how he it just feels like what we do like how all of our parents are just randomly like overly describe people where it's not we did oh my god have you see those TikTok of course you have but they're like my mom talking about anyone I went to high school with like you know the one with the huge notes and it's like why like you can just say their name you don't need to like give them a derogatory description why are we describing them at all ways they'd be so embarrassed by like exactly like why are we described them by their insecurities who's the one covered in moles it's like why don't you know that freckly girl it's like what the fuck you couldn't say the one with the lovely eyes exactly or like the beautiful freckles you know no yeah no no no they couldn't

beat that so laurence joseph pater uh he was born in akron ohio this is of course an ohio story uh in 1926 and he came from a pretty well-to-do family um one of his uncles was an akron city councilman And so he grew up, like, not really wanting for anything. He did a stint in the Navy and then did, like, a semester at college, but neither of these felt fulfilling enough for him. And he actually became known as the guy who tried many get rich quick schemes. Love that. Love that.

Yeah. So I was in stuff you should know, they were like, they were like, if you're known for your get rich quick schemes one semester into college, like you must be really into them. And the other guy goes, oh, or they could be looking at his soon. suit covered in dollar signs. Like maybe he walked around with a dollar sign suit. That's the only other way. It screams, get rich quick. I'm on board with the first area that he's either really good or really bad at this.

Yes, exactly. It just feels like maybe not the best descriptor of a you'd want to get. Right. But, you know, that was just his vibe. He was like, I can get money from my dad. I don't really need to spend time in college. And I'd rather just find an easy way to make this work. Neither of these plans really worked out, and he eventually became a cookware salesman for the

Reynolds Metals Company. He made a pretty good salary. I think in today's money, it's like 120k a year. Dang. I know. And he married a woman named Mary Lou, and by 1957 they had three children with a fourth on the way. He was known as a pretty quiet guy, pretty reserved, but he did have some outgoing sensibilities, especially with his friends. He had one party trick where he would eat an entire roast chicken bones and all oh my fucking god oh yeah wow okay see i am i am locked in now because uh you you mentioned the bone i really just want to watch a meat a skeleton that's kind of i don't care about the chicken part apparently people do because i'm like like you eating all is you just are you also like vamping are you like and watch this you know i mean it's like a whole chicken

like the chicken part i'm unimprice i could also eat a whole rosemary chicken and half no he just like bites it like eats it is what i'm saying like he takes the roast chicken with the bones inside it and just will like like like so he eats like a fucking wolf eat like yeah like like a dog yeah like a wolf like it's a whole thing i mean i do what if that if that party trick video i mean also a party trick where you you must just pay me to watch that well i was thinking like the caloric intake and the way that the bones are going to rip you from the inside out no You know, you know, and they get all mushy. I do need to see it at least once.

I would like to, I'd like to go to a party and at least watch three bites in. So you're the problem is what you're saying, because I really want none of this. I want none of this to exist ever. I need to see it with my own eyes. And not because I don't believe it, but purely just for the visual. Yeah, I get it. So beside the chicken trick, he was pretty reserved. He had.

The chicken. No, okay. Sorry. he was pretty chill uh he had some friends and he was like kind of a nice guy but he he wasn't anything like any eccentric or or boisterous kind of person um he also had a bit of growing financial stress irs liens had been placed against him for unpaid taxes he apparently didn't pay his taxes for like five years and he had recently received notices related to his debt which was about $2,400 and in today's money is about $24,000 and so it's a significant amount of debt but not like

extreme, you know, like to the point that we've seen some of these big, like, family annihilator cases and things like that. Right, right. In other words, nothing in his behavior in early March, 1957, suggested he planned any extreme action or planned to disappear in any way. And yet, let's go to March 15th, 1957. Uh-oh. Larry tells his wife, Mary Lou, that he has an IRS meeting in Cleveland the next morning, and he says afterwards, I'm going to go fishing at Lake Erie. And she says, please don't. I am pregnant with our fourth child. I would really like you to come home after work.

And this guy says, maybe I will, maybe I won't. Oh, okay. Had the same reaction went, cool, guy. Okay, well then just don't come home at all. Yeah, go fuck yourself, I guess. So maybe I will, maybe I won't. And then he pieces out and guess what? He will.

He goes to the IRS meeting. He gets out several thousand dollars in cash, which was the plan. and it's not like he did that on a whim. And then he rents a 14-foot aluminum boat and purchases fishing gear, including a life jacket and extra oars. He's getting this boat ready to go into the water. It's in Rocky River near Cleveland.

And the clerk says, hey, I don't know if you should be going out. There's going to be a storm coming through. And the clerk said, he remembered forever what Larry said in response. He said, you never know. unless you try this guy really is all about the risk

isn't he with his get rich quick has eaten skeletons he's just like well let's find out along the way also he's like trying to do these witty one liners and I'm like I feel like that doesn't even make sense he's waiting for a slogan to appear you know what he's waiting for it to click

and I think he should try some more because this one didn't really work but so he takes the boat to Rocky River and he launches the boat he's actually spotted by Coast Guard and they're like, hey, it's going to be really bad weather. You better get out of here. And he's like, I'm fine. And just keeps going on his way. Um, lo and behold, there's a giant storm and high winds, rough waters. Larry never made it back with the boat. And they come back with like a bigger boat or something? I feel like that'd be part of his lore. He's,

he comes back with no boat. He does not appear. Um, he doesn't come home. And his wife is a of course, immediately worried. So the Coast Guard goes out, does a search. Wouldn't you know it? They find a boat washed up near Cleveland's Perkins Beach. In the boat, they find the life jackets, which is interesting because he rented them, clearly didn't use them. And one ore, and the boat itself didn't appear severely damaged, just like dinged up a little.

But Larry and his suitcase, which contained the cash, who was missing? The suitcase is what's interesting because if the suitcase weren't involved, I would have said, this guy clearly thought, what's the big deal? I'm just going to go take a dip real quick and then get back on the boat. Right, right. The suitcase is interesting. So the suitcase is interesting. And I also think, like, another devil's advocate sort of point has been made like, well,

he probably didn't want to leave it in the car. It had several thousand dollars of cash. And I was like, okay, fair. But I feel like, why would you go? I mean, why would you bring it at all? Well, because he was up in Cleveland. And so he's like, oh, I want to go fishing while I'm on the lake. oh wow he was there right yeah so like i guess you know but it just feels a little odd that the

the guy and the suitcase are missing but everything else appears to be my only justification at this point is like maybe he was about to put it somewhere else and it fell off the bone he went diving for it oh that's interesting and then he just like couldn't get back yeah so i mean they couldn't find him and so they they searched for several days the Coast Guard did, but they never found a body or any further evidence. So he was declared dead, legally dead. And that was May of 1957. He had left behind a pregnant wife and three young children. But within three or so days, the timeline varies, a few days of Larry's disappearance, a man calling himself John Johnson walks into the round table bar in Omaha,

Nebraska, holding a bartending manual and asking for a job. He claims his name is John Johnson on all his paperwork, leases, and official records, but socially he introduces himself as Fritz. Without question, I already know why this is your favorite fucking story, because it's so catch me if you can. Yeah, yes, it is. Okay, I never, I didn't put that together, but you're totally right. Yes, yes, you can't make this shit up. You know what I mean? You love an identity switch up. I do. I find it fascinating. And a successful one. Like, one where you somehow were able to, like, get paperwork and shit like that handled? I mean, what?

Like, it's like, it's like, it's like those guys at the glowing acorn that are like, we're in charge, get out. And everyone's like, okay, you know. It's like, okay, John Johnson, Fritz, whatever you want. Like, I'll walk in there and say, I'm in charge, but like, no one would believe me, you know? Because you'd go, if you don't mind. Um, excuse me. Sorry, can anyone hear me?

Yeah. Uh, so he is friendly, sociable, loud, boisterous, eccentric, and he quickly becomes the talk of Omaha wouldn't that be a dream um pretty soon he becomes like basically a local celebrity he develops this like not even no variety like really just kind of fame in town um as this eccentric guy he actually had an active tumor behind his eye at the time which required surgery and so they actually had to remove his eye i literally what i think just like a people who have any sort of eye adjacent surgery are unsung heroes that need a lot more applause well apparently it worked because he got an eye patch and people were like we're so into

this i if someone ever has an eye anything the respect goes sky high for me have you ever seen that creator who like shows her different eyes that she puts in yeah sure have yeah i just i'll never i'll never be comfortable comfortable with my own eyeballs so the second that anyone's like oh yeah someone had to touch them medically I'm like well medically well then I guess we're done here like you went well apparently it was true and he really did it wasn't just like an eye patch accessory like he actually did have um his eye removed and so he wore this eye patch and of course this only added to his eccentricity in town um he also sported a neatly maintained pencil mustache um which was sometimes described as curled at the ends so you can just picture this guy like pirate adjacent

you know like mustachioed man named Fritz like he's just a goofball and he wears these like bright colored jackets colorful bow ties like he's just this character I do think he's kind of doing the identity thing wrong aren't you supposed to make like no big big flary attentions oh you mean you're not supposed to become a local radio personality mm-hmm that's what I meant yeah well apparently he got the wrong rule book because he was described by folks as theatrical showman-like or even my favorite vaudeville ready really good stuff perfect really good stuff he took a bartending job at the roundtable bar and he performed small tricks to the clientele he would spin bottles he would flick ice he would like deliver these spontaneous toasts for no reason um like some people some sources said that he'd go to places like a car dealership was having like a ribbon cutting ceremony and he would like give an impromptu speech even though he had nothing to do with the car dealership like he's just giving Michael Scott yes okay he's giving like I'm the center of attention

right and everyone's like huh you know who you's really forcing the narrative nobody's asking the the the stuff you should know folks made a really good point that he was not like nobody looked down on him for like nobody looked at him like in the Michael Scott like this guy you know not nobody I wouldn't say that but like in general he wasn't considered a creep he wasn't considered like a freak like he was just like oh he's that's that's that quirky guy and like we're into it i don't know if it's pretty privileged is popular privilege i guess it's like if you have enough confidence and enough people backing you already saying that like you're vouched for then you can really get away with a lot you can rock anything a lot yeah exactly and so i mean

this guy is just like really um involved in his community i guess to the point that he's giving like speeches at car dealerships um but he's also like a really conscientious uh customer and that kind of thing he tips like 200% on all his bar tabs and bills he writes okay so some of the weird I want to I wrote down some of the weird idiosyncrasies he had the eccentricities so for example he wrote checks using the season instead of the date so he instead of saying August 5th he would write late summer does it feel legal I know this is the 1950s for you and again it's the privilege of this is how I do it, and everyone just has to kind of deal with it. And I feel like people thought this was a fun little quirk, but then it's like,

okay, but like how annoying is that, like if you work at the bank, right? Yeah. Another thing he did is he would take the tips he received to the bank. He would get them in like a glass milk jug. And when he wrote like the deposit slip, he would write one quart of tips. Now that's good. And then make the teller count it when he left. like it's kind of rude i mean it's rude but i mean like if you want to stick out

that's maybe yeah clearly i mean that maybe that's part of why he's so remembered because he's known as like that fucking guy so weird like he really does so many things that are like ha you know there's one person in town who's like why do we give this guy so much praise like does anybody else see what i see he gave you a court of money and he's asking you to count it now and makes you count it. Yeah. It's just weird. And so people were like obviously clocking all this behavior and we're like, that's Fritz for you. He was very, very involved in the community. Like I said, he joined the Knights of Columbus. He participated in civic groups, charity activity, social events. He was very into volunteering. And his name Fritz became like kind of synonymous with his like quirky

behavior. So people would know Fritz in all the different social circles. He often had people a lot of ladies over to his home and at his home he had no furniture he only had cushions and beanbags like it's a very bohemian vibe i guess back then he's clear i keep way to make fun of him but he's clearly doing something right he's got a he's got he's sticking to a vibe i guess he at the very least the confidence is exuding you know uh yeah it's some sort of power yes exactly he actually uh on that note also drove a hearse as his vehicle okay and I mean, the hearse and the beanbags are, I, I'm on board. It feels very M-coded to me.

Yeah. He had me. The chicken thing would really nail the coffin down. I would. Yeah, who would nail the coffin down. You know what I'm saying? The back of the hearse, yeah. So he had this hearse, and he had like a little lounge seating area in the back of the hearse, you know, for when the ladies came over.

I did it? Yeah, yeah, yeah. And he actually got the car registered as a hunting vehicle. This guy's really cool. I'm turning. I'm turning. I'm turning. I know. Okay. And so when people ask like, oh, where are you from? What's your backstory? He told like slightly contradicting stories, but he usually claimed he'd grown up in an orphanage, but he never explained where it was. He also said he was one of like 24 kids named John Johnson or something like that. And people were like, okay. So the orphanage was a cult. I know, right? It sounds like it. Or just a really lazy. We're all just going to call you John Johnson. But then as for Fritz, he claimed that this was a cult. was from a comic called Cats and Jammer comic and or he also occasionally told a story

that in his time in the Navy that his haircut, he looked German and so people nicknamed him Fritz. And so nobody really knew where the name came from, but it stuck. And so that's what he used. One of the most notable stunts that he pulled at this point is volunteering for a charity event that required, have you ever heard of something called a publicity roost? Like you like sororities and stuff so i don't know if this is a normal thing but it sounds insane to me i don't know what that is that's good because if you did i would be worried but it's basically where you live in a small box on top of a pole for several days no but you know i'd do it i know you're sick okay so basically he immediately volunteered they needed someone to live in a small box for a few

days and he said sure i'll do it so they hoist him up there into this enclosure and he stayed there throughout the whole fundraiser. I think it was for polio, I believe. He waved to onlookers. He joked with photographers. He was like interacting with the crowds. Again, like vamping. Friends used a police system to send supplies up to him, including newspapers, cigarettes, notes, sandwiches. I don't even want to know about the whole bathroom situation, but that's my first thought. Have I, sorry, finish your point, but I have a note to add to this. Great. So the last thing I have to say is, according to multiple newspaper reports, his friends also use the pulley to send up martinis.

Okay, go. Okay, so very cool. Yeah. I, Allison and I went to a mini golf place in, I think, Newport, or Newport, California, or at least on the way from... I was like, Kentucky? No, no, no. It was either in Newport or it was along the way back from Newport.

And there's one hole that has what looks like a cartoonish, like, tree house on the, on the hole. and it's just like overlooking you this big tree house up in the air and it has like you wouldn't even notice but there's this little plaque that says like a world Guinness record was broken of like somebody living up there for a while and I looked him up in a parent's no that'd be crazy no but no I looked it up and I guess it was like during an actor strike and he was an actor and he was hoping that it would like garner attention or like some sort of protest for him and nobody really cared it seems

It was so sad. Although the town was really invested in this and like a bunch of local restaurants started like scheduling out which days each of the restaurants would go deliver him food in like in solidarity or something. And so every night he had like a different restaurant like do a police system and bring food up for him. Oh, see? It's a thing. Yeah.

I also don't know the bathroom situation. But he lived up there without coming down for like over a year. A year? It was crazy. Yeah. Fritz could never. He was up there for like a few days. Okay. But I love that. It's called a publicity roost. I never heard that phrase before. I haven't either. And I love that they were seeking volunteers for it.

Yeah. Yeah. It's wild. I mean, I would also volunteer. I know you would. I know you would. You're like free sandwiches. Yeah. Yeah. So they were setting martinis up through a police, via a police system, which I adore. And of course, this stunt contributed to his local notoriety. When he came down from the, publicity roost he got into a convertible with a bunch of models and they all like put their arms over him as they drove away like he's like a showman he's vaudeville ready as they say i feel like he's doing a lot of what like like what major collabs would do these days to try to promote something but he's doing all of them back to back but no one's asking what they want it's like what a collab like what these brands would want to pull off but like he's just like doing it on a whim on his own yeah yeah like marketers could never nowadays

he also developed a strong affinity for archery and as part of this whole archery situation he said it was because he had a bad back and it was like good exercise for his back but he became skilled very quickly he practiced intensely and at night a lot of the time and he ended up competing in tournaments gained statewide attention and even won the nebraska state indoor archery championship damn i know so this win generated press coverage focused on the novelty of a man with one eye being like an expert archer right you know that is incredible it is incredible he has no depth perception that's incredible right i know and so they they got really into it and the yeoman archery company said we want to sponsor you

and so now he's like a sponsored archery expert and is like going on tours and all this stuff it has now switched from cash me if you can to forest gump okay where he like becomes like the ping pong master all of a sudden you know yeah so we're on to something here with what with my own affinity with to the story i'm i'm i'm seeing the pattern he's just like fulfilling every pop culture movie from the 90s it's uh-huh uh-huh what's next does he sink in a ship called the titanic i don't know he already sank on a ship oh my god he did oh m g i feel like all the movies from the 90s were just written about different chapters of his life at the school and he had a makeover Like every other 90s movie. I don't know. I feel like there's a million. Yeah, pretty woman.

He took his glasses off while walking down the steps and everyone realized he was beautiful, just in time for prom. Thank God. He's hot now. That eye patch really does it. People were really into it. He got a lot of ladies. You know what? Good for him.

Listen, I'd be into a guy with an eyepatch for sure. With this amount of lore, I'd be interested in him. For real. Like, you want to be him. I know it. I feel it. um i just i can't get over it and and as part of this whole archery deal he would of course do trick shots like popping balloons shooting behind his back doing like timed shots and like vamping with the crowd

as he did archery like he's just a showman he even signed autographs for people in this like elaborate way where he just wrote fritz or fritz johnson and he gave like really lively speeches at the archery events and occasionally entertained audiences by hmm eating an entire chicken bones and all You got to go back to your roots. You can't not. If that's a skill you have, you have to use it. And the words of Hannah Montana, you'll always find your way back home. As Lindsay Lowen once said.

So, of course, as I already alluded, he became somewhat of a local radio station personality at K-B-O-N radio. And he would deliver sports segments, local event updates. He was described as having a warm, innovative. animated voice his his voice was very recognizable um and they knew him as like the guy with the eye patch he'd often rib his friends who were getting married and like said things like oh that's a big mistake you know marriages for losers whatever he would make commentary about like people getting married but then he met a woman named nancy and in 1959 they were married and had a child together and he kind of ate his words and was like you're right but i hadn't met nancy yet you know neighbors

remembered him as an affectionate, helpful, and very involved father and husband, and no one really questioned him because they didn't have reason to. In early 1960, Fritz traveled to Chicago for a major sports expo as a representative of yeoman archery. He performed demonstrations in a bright jacket and bow tie, interacting with crowds and exhibitors, but one man had come up from Akron, Ohio. And stop short when he saw what basically looked like the ghost of his former acquaintance, Larry Bader, who for all intents and purposes had died in a tragic boating accident three years earlier, never had a mustache, and Shirley didn't wear an eye patch.

You know, the fun had to end somewhere. And if you're playing with fire, that obviously. And you are playing with fire. Really, I mean, pushing. You got to, again, you got to keep a low profile if you're going second identity. like you can't be pushing the envelope something was going to happen people were going to talk you're too fucking weird people you're too weird and the newspapers don't have anything better to talk about you know 100% he called larry's niece because the guy was like okay i'm sure this is larry but i feel like

i need his family to like confirm so his niece drives up from akron and is like uh that's my uncle yeah and she multiple reports say she approached him and said some variation of excuse me sir aren't you my uncle larry which is a wild thing to say and he said and he said oh no i think you have me mistaken with someone else and she's like nope i'm pretty confident you're larry so she calls some male relatives and asked fritz to get on the phone and he's like i mean sure i'll talk to them i guess just to kind of put this aside he gets on the phone and his brother and cousin are like larry like we would recognize your voice anywhere and they contacted the police Fritz agreed to get fingerprints taken

because he really was like, what are you guys talking about? I think I know where we're going now. I think you do too. He got his fingerprints taken. He agreed to it. He went in and he got them compared with this other fellow Larry Bader's fingerprints

because they were both in the Navy. Fritz basically intimated that this was all being misunderstanding, but when they checked the fingerprints, of course, they were a match. it was officially declared that Fritz Johnson and Larry Bader were the same man. And when he found out, he reportedly said something like, well, that answers that. Well, I've done weirder things. Yeah, he was like, huh?

I guess. And it's weird because, like, it wasn't that he denied it at this point. He was like, well, if the fingerprints say it, I guess that's my identity. Like, he didn't deny it. You know what I mean? Well, so what I was thinking, or is there, is there, do you know what I was thinking? Yes, but please go ahead, because I'd like he to bring it up, if you don't mind. Okay, so my guess is that he did fall off that chip and on his way down hit his head.

So that is a major theory. Okay. Because he does seem to not know what's going on here. And remember the eye? Yeah. The brain tumor? Yeah. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Okay. So there are a couple theories here, right? Like, did he take advantage of that and pretend like he didn't remember? Was it like, because he knew he had the tumor he could blame? know. And also if he knew he had the tumor, maybe he thought he was leaving his family before something terminal happened. Like maybe he thought like I'm, right. Maybe I'm saving them by them not having to see me suffer. And then it. Right. I don't know. I don't know. Some theories are that he went to die by suicide on this boat trip. And then, you know, it went awry. He was

injured. He didn't know. He went into a fugue state. And, you know, and these things weirdly do happen these like dissociative fugues where you literally don't remember your own biographical history and your brain as a coping mechanism like invents a story and on that note I should mention that his former boss was fritz something or other oh so maybe he just kind of remembered the name and they think maybe he just pulled that from somewhere in his mind and was like oh yeah that's me fritz and just went with it. And he had some of it, right, like the Navy and all that, but then he genuinely appeared baffled by this whole situation, which was kind of bizarre. So he insisted he had no memory of his Ohio life, but he took this fingerprint test really seriously and was like,

well, I guess if that's what it says, he also denied knowing his wife, Mary Lou, or any of his children. He met with them and he even enjoyed their company, like they spent a couple days together in Chicago, but Mary Lou basically claimed, like, he doesn't know who we are. She's like, he does not have any history of a relationship with us, which must be so scary. So messed up. Yeah. And especially, like, confusing for the kids when, like, your dad isn't excited to see you and, like.

I will say the youngest, the old, sorry, the oldest was six when he disappeared. Okay. So he would remember probably some, but, you know, really little. So most of them didn't even remember him very well. Okay. It's almost a blessing. It's like at least you're not totally heartbroken. I don't know.

Yeah, it must be like a sick feeling, though, to be like, did my dad, like, leave on purpose? Oh, sure. Yeah. And Mary Lou had already kind of grieved and moved on, and she was actually engaged to a new man. But now that they found her husband, she was a good Catholic and said,

well, I can't, I'm not getting divorced. So we're still married. This feels like, this whole episode has just been a big ad for that new Elizabeth Olson movie. Have you seen about it? No, I'm so out of touch. Oh, so she dies and she was married twice, but I guess in this movie, when you go to the afterworld, you get to pick, like, the partner that you want to spend eternity with,

like almost like an actual, like, marriage, like, committing forever. And so the, her first husband who died early versus the guy that she ended up marrying and Is it like a drama or? comedy i'm sorry i think it's a like a rom-com how fun but uh and one of them is miles teller i forget who the other one is i'm getting more and more excited but no she's she has to the whole movie is her basically her two husbands from different periods in her life having to compete with each other of like who is she going to want to spend eternity with because she only gets to pick one okay well that would suck for like most of america most of everybody because i feel like everyone

gets divorced and remarried well anyway no this feels a little like that where she's like well what do I do I've got my husband came back from the dead and I'm engaged and yeah well it gets worse because not only did she have to now well she didn't have to but she chose to not press charges and stay in the marriage because she didn't want to go against her belief system but also the government said hey we want all that money back not the government well the government did but also the insurance um the life insurance company said we want our money back also the government said we want all those payments back we sent monthly which was like 200 some bucks a month which today's like two grand you know part of her part of her was thinking like why couldn't you have just stayed hidden

oh she actually did say she said she wished she initially said she wish she had never been discovered like she wish he could have just lived his life out where he was and not not ruined not ruined but like really just upset everybody's life because now the sudden the other new husband is like god damn it i know he's like i was so close yeah but so remember he was already he was remarried to nancy and had a child with her and now suddenly that marriage is no longer legal yeah and she's kind of like freaked out obviously and is like what is going on and and she's all worried about his ex and his kids and she's like well not his ex his wife it's all so confusing um even the boat rental folks reached out and said you owe us money for that damaged boat

which made me laugh so heartless he can't catch a break um yeah so it really shattered her life and a lot of people's upset a lot of people's um stability now as for the aftermath of all this um like i said his marriage to nancy was invalidated mary lew did not press charges um which she could have pressed charges for bigamy or abandonment um but she did not he lost his uh sponsorship from yeoman archery He withdrew from public life He moved out into a separate place from Nancy He had very limited contact with both families

Even though he was still married to Mary Lou But he picked up a job and lived at the YMCA And would just send the monthly payments Both Nancy... This poor guy I know Nancy and Mary Lou National newspapers covered the story extensively What a spectacle, right?

just a total spectacle, come back from the dead with a mustache and an eye patch. Like what in the world? Of course, his attorney argued that his tumor was what caused this kind of dissociative, they called it something different. They called it like a modern day schizophrenia, but in reality it was like dissociative identity disorder and or a tumor impacting his memory and creating like this identity crisis. So the new.

newspapers were all over it and as part of one of the articles that covered it, he was quoted as saying he was still baffled and confused. He had no clue about his past in Ohio and maybe God would end up having to sort this out. Well, famous last words because he died within a year. Wow. Yeah. The cancer from his eye had spread to his liver and he died at only 39 years old. But what a life he lived. I know. Well, lives he lived he fit a lot in 39 years oh my god he sure did he sure did uh lots of kids lots of names uh lots of stories stunts you know um and he maintained until his death that he had no memory of his life as larry um they actually held two services one for larry oh wow and one

for fritz memorial was in omaha and obviously the other one was in akron um um Just really incredible stuff. He never acknowledged recovering any memory. And if it were a dissociative fugue state, those can actually last months, even years. And so, you know, maybe if he had had five extra years, it would have come back to him. Because typically with those situations, within a few months or years, when you're faced with your original family or memories, they come back. Like, they tend to resurface. but he claimed he had zero memory of any of it until his dying day but again it was only a year later maybe it would have come back to him eventually um he's either a really good actor or right you know which is possible or he really had forgotten somehow um but his case does continue to be cited in lots of discussions whether it's amnesia dissociative fugue mistaken identity double lives whether it's a crime story or a psychology story um

He underwent evaluation at the Mayo Clinic, and doctors have confirmed he did have a tumor removed behind his left eye. He did have radiation treatments, optic nerve damage. They stated amnesia was medically possible. However, they emphasized there is, of course, no way to determine whether his amnesia was genuine or fabricated. And so the findings are inconclusive, and nobody knows. That's the end. Honestly, though, I see why this is one of your favorites. and also please bring back more true crime that we can just banter because that was like

I know isn't it wild and like fun crime I don't even know if what yeah I don't even know where the crime was but I guess it's a mystery yeah it's a mystery exactly and like somebody commented recently like that I never do serial killers anymore and I guess I never really thought about it it's not intentional I think I just covered all the really big ones early like not early but like you know I did ed keen Jeffrey Dahmer John Wingasey like I've done all this and I feel like they're so pop culture now that I feel like I just tend to gravitate toward the lesser known ones, but I do, I almost do a serial killer today. And then I was like, no, I want to do this. So to that person, sorry.

Well, also, like I said, with my, my cases, like, sometimes there's ones that, like, are just, there's a lot of meat to them. So it just takes a long time to do. Like, I, there's some I'm still waiting for you to cover, but I do know that they're huge cases. And so I'm like, I don't. What are they? Just as a refresher for my memory. Well, some of them are also, like, I don't know what you're, if you have updated boundaries. But, like, there's, like, the Albert Fish one who, like, ate children or some shit like that. Like, I don't know, like, where you stand on those. So I just, if they don't show up, then I just, they just don't show up, you know.

I mean, I never know you're going to cover before we get here. So it's always a mystery to me, yeah. Yeah. Albert Fish, good point. Yeah. I guess, I know, I'm like, I've covered all the serial clothes. It's like, no. Well, you've covered all the ones that, like, don't necessarily have children as the victims.

And I know that was one of our. Yeah, fair enough. Well, it's covered all the ones that are, like, no. net like current Netflix specials sure no when we first started though it was like you know anything that had to do with like kids as the main victims yeah like we didn't want to touch yeah I've definitely kind of given up on that because I feel like there are so many cases that cross that boundary and I've kind of yeah I think when I especially when I was pregnant I got really like in my head about it and I think I've kind of relaxed on that but I do make sure to announce it

early so people who are still understandably not into it at all can piece out yeah yeah yeah this was such a nice moment like a lighter easy breezy you know throw these in every now and then because that was fun yeah isn't that weird well so my my my here my thoughts like either so here the theories either he had some sort of brain tumor or something that impacted his memory but then why it was just a weird timing right with this boat accident and then like the storm and then he disappeared with a suitcase of cash like it just lines up very you know perfectly and then also obviously like you mentioned the theory of maybe he sustained a head injury on the boat or in the boat accident and went overboard something like that i mean i really liked your point of like maybe the briefcase was at risk or whatever and he like went after it who knows but there was also such a bad storm that the coast guard was like he would not have survived this like if he were out on the water i don't know his story was already so wild that maybe another wild point is that he did survive a storm, you know? It's like, that's what I thought, because I'm like, well, surely it wouldn't be this.

And I'm like, but surely this man wouldn't exist at all. And yet here he is, I'm just living on top of a telephone pole with a martini. I don't know. I think another reason why you like this story so much is because he does remind me of all the the good chaos that you bring to a table. Oh, oh, thank you. That's so nice. I do feel it's a character.

And you would oddly survive a storm like that. I would, like, accidentally go fishing in the world's worst storm and then, like, end up in Omaha somehow. You would do a lot of, like, well, let's see, we're probably fines. And then, like, and then against all odds or what. I'm like, don't worry, Coast Guard. I'm okay. You know, like, it's even just. I don't want to bother you.

Don't worry about rescuing. But you with that fucking hammering your curtains into the walls. Oh, yeah. Now imagine my exposed brick trying to hammer shit into that. It's really not pretty. Like, you would just find a way to just. make it work every time just like surf the lake erie wave during a hurricane with your hammer and my briefcase of cash hi i'm fritz i mean it's just like out of control but then but then you think well he's

under financial strain um of like 20 some grand right and he has a fourth child on the way like these are stressors yeah and he he'd always been into like the get rich quick and like skip the labor and the waiting and you know so maybe he was like fuck it i'll start new you know maybe and like maybe he just knew that he could always point to the brain tumor and say, well, I have no memory of this. And maybe he really was just good at pretending. Who knows? I mean, it's great. It's wild. Like, I could see him knowing that he can swindle people. Yeah. And if he wanted to get away and he felt freaked out or like, or he felt maybe suffocated in some way, like, or he felt just terrified of like what time he had left because he was sick. I guess he just being like one last

hurrah. Yeah. They're going to lose me anyway, so I'll just beat them to the punch. And I'm just going to go do something fucking wild. I mean, he was dead within five years of that boat accident. And, you know, it makes me wonder, too, when his personality shifted so dramatically, like, people who had known him before said, like, that, he did not behave this way when I knew him. Like, he didn't, he did the chicken thing.

But, like, he was really chill and reserved. And now he's, like, wearing bow ties and, like, on the radio. And, you know, of course, like, he's. you said aren't you supposed to be under the radar but then my counterpoint to that is depending on this guy's actual personality like some people cannot help but put themselves in the spotlight like we see these people who are like either sociopaths or whatever they are but they're just like I can't resist the spotlight so I'm not saying that's him I'm just saying I think it's possible that somebody would just like say fuck it I want to be I want to ride high while I can and

be this and maybe he was like maybe if it were a brain situation or just like a fugue state of stress or whatever maybe it was like oh he'd always wanted to be this larger than life character and maybe he knew someone maybe his boss fritz maybe maybe somebody like resonated he had like a head injury and it just made him act impulsively or it changed his behavior exactly because they say that i mean that happens too when people have head injuries right he literally was just getting up and just making speeches that nobody expected him to be prepared for i mean he might have just been like kind of just reacting to things and not knowing i think he maybe have had just picked yeah had like changed his personality in a way and maybe it was just parts of him came out that weren't there before

and um the chicken stayed though the chicken never i mean and that you know there's nothing worse about the story than that for me he always had that hankering he was like chicken with bones please imagine like when they're doing the pulley system and they're like can we get you a sandwich And she's like, actually, I'll just take an entire Kirkland brand roast chicken. Extra cartilage. And don't worry about coming back to retrieve the skeleton. Imagine having to. Oh, there won't be any remnants of it.

I'm fucking sick, dude. I know. I don't mean to keep harping on that. But like that you started there and it just only got more insane. I know. It's just like, what in the world? And so, yeah, anyway, it's just a baffling story because every time I convince myself of one theory, I'm like, but what about? this you know and so it's like i don't know i don't know i don't think anyone knows and the fact that

his own wife was like he doesn't know who i am like i believe her you know i put this on par with um one of my other favorite stories that you've recently covered uh which was the the guy who shot himself in the crotch or the their guy the guy who got shot in the crotch and then nobody knew how he died through the hotel room yeah oh my god that was that was one of the wild of stories ever. I really like these wild mysteries that just make no sense. Because it feels like if you saw this in a movie or that in a movie, you'd be like, there's no way that would ever happen. Yeah, like as a TV producer, if someone was pitching it to me, I'd be like, that's not realistic enough. That's ridiculous. Yeah. It feels like stranger than fiction, which is

incidentally one of my top three favorite movies of all time. So I'm starting to really pick up the pattern here. Which this could have also been based off of it. Could have also very well. Yeah, it's just really and it's sad too just because like his his it really disrupted so many people's lives like Nancy and Mary Lou and the kids but like it's just like on purpose or not on purpose like was he just like going fishing like you said because he just felt like it or yeah it sounds truly with him fortunately and unfortunately anything is possible yeah I know exactly that's so true it's like weirder things have clearly happened to this guy so I can't even think of every time I think of a weird thing. I'm like, no, that's not a weirdest.

Yes. And that's just what you've reported. I'm sure there's other things where he's still like a local legend for something else. I kept adding things and I was like, another one, another one. And there are more. Oh, I know what I was going to say. The last thing, as I was going through the notes this time, it didn't occur to me until, until today, until I was going through the story with you. But the fact that he didn't write dates and he never counted his money. I'm like, maybe he had a, maybe he had like a brain, an issue with numbers. Yeah. Like if he's not counting his money and he's not writing the date and people are like,

that's fine. Like maybe it was really something he couldn't grasp. Numbers. You're totally right. Wow. That's a good point. And he's also tipping 200%. Yeah, he can't.

He's got some don't on. I think there's something up with the numbers too. I think he wasn't faking it. I don't know that he was faking either. I feel like there was there was an element of like, and it's very rare. But again, like this guy is clearly one of a one in a million. so he really is I mean yeah the the chances are low but not zero you know right exactly um to write like autumn of the year is what he would write yeah I think he just I think I think it was

and the bank actually had instructions to call him on the first of every new season because they were like we need to tell him when the new season begins you know what I really think there was like a number if he had a head injury then I love how accessible they were to people who need help that was my other thought because I'm like why would they accept this and I'm like but maybe it was like he literally couldn't do it. And they were like, okay, that's fine, you know? Like maybe that's why. Interesting.

That's literally just completely my conjecture, just to point out that that occurred to me today. So I don't want to claim that as fact. No, I think he had a head injury. That's what it feels like, doesn't it? Because, and you know what, maybe he did go out there to die by suicide. Maybe he really was, like, stressed and whatever and was like, I'm leaving. I don't know. Maybe he was too cocky and thought he could go.

fishing and skip the storm. I think he was either, I think he went out there to maybe hurt himself. Or, or I think he was just. Why would he like take the money? Or I think he was a daredevil and I think it fell into the water and he went to go find it and hit his head on the boat or something. I don't know. It's one of those two where either way that the head in, I don't know.

I don't know anymore. But then it's like, oh, and he had a tumor too. And it's like, well, shit. And did he know about the tumor before? don't know. I'm not sure. That was the other thing. That would make me think then this was an attempt. Yeah. If he didn't know about the tumor, I think he's just kind of, he made stupid decisions. And I think you're right. He didn't want to leave the money in the car, so he went on the boat. And I think it was an accidental hit on his head.

Yeah, something like that, right? It's only one of those two branches in my head. I can't imagine another scenario. Yeah. Yeah. Because on a stormy, on a stormy tide like that, Like you're gonna, if you're rocking around on that boat, you can hit your head on anything. You could fall in and you hit your head on the side of the boat. You could. Yeah, but then what was the intention of even getting on the boat? Like, was it like just to have a good time or was it like to escape or? Maybe, I don't know.

Maybe he was trying to skip. I have no idea. I have no fucking clue. I hate that we'll never know. And then he ends up in Omaha, Nebraska of all things. Yeah, not what I saw coming. Yeah. So just really baffling all around.

Great story. next week i'll be back with something really upsetting and horrendous so enjoy it well at us you know what these pallet cleansers are lovely though yeah it was refreshing to have a um nonviolent crime for once yeah yeah yeah well i hope everyone is uh making safe treks towards their thanksgiving destinations um are you going to seattle or sorry am i supposed to say that okay yeah i go over here yeah yeah okay good are you taking hankies or is he staying i forget he's getting aborted Oh, he's getting boarded. Okay. Because Thanksgiving is nowhere and you're as long as Christmas is. Right. Is he coming to Christmas though, right? To meet the fam or not really?

Tentatively. I don't, I don't totally know what the plan is yet. It seems like our whole holiday schedule is getting kind of thrown around in different directions. So I really don't know what's happening with Christmas yet. But Thanksgiving is a... I mean, I don't either with my own Christmas. And I have a child, so don't worry. Well, we might have Christmas. We might have a short Christmas. We might be postponing Christmas for like a month. and doing like a late Christmas like it's it's all up in the air right now so well you got to get your hoverboard so I know I told them I said make get me three um get me three and get one for Hank but no for right now it Hank is not coming to Thanksgiving there's just little kids and other dogs and my my aunt has some chronic illnesses and that are yeah not suitable for a dog who likes to jump on people yeah um so anyway it's uh he is not welcome and that's fine by me

Well, I'll be across the coast in Connecticut, so I'll wave to you from afar. Well, Connecticut Thanksgiving sounds very... It's really nice. Very nice. Also, very pilgrimy. Yeah, sorry, that part's... Yeah, that part's not great. But beautiful.

It seems beautiful. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. No, there's a lot of nice stuff over there in the fall. It's really pretty, so... I'm very jealous. You're actually going to see, like, changing leaves and stuff. Oh, I've had that for two months. Don't worry.

It's already snowed for several days. Send me a red leaf sometime. I'm over and... Leona collects them, so she'll send you an entire envelope or Ziploc bag. Don't worry. I tell her I want a tree amount of leaves. Okay, good. We have at least three times that downstairs, so.

Hank would like the trunk part. Aw. Hey, does he want a piece of mango slice from a, not mango slice, mango tree slice from a encased in resin from a certain friend called Gina? No, but you know what I got really jazzed about? It's a late birthday present, very late birthday present for me. but I've been telling Allison since we got here, she is desperate to have a tree in the yard.

I don't fucking love one. I remember that. But she offered me a healthy compromise and I get to pick the tree. And the tree that I picked... Lemon? No, it's called a fruit punch tree. Oh, you would.

It's a bunch of stone fruit all on the same tree. It's like plums and nectarines and shit all in the same tree. Fruit punch tree. I've never heard of such a thing. Fruit punch tree. Wow. That's crazy. I've never heard of such a thing.

Peaches, nectarines, apricots, cherries, and plums. Holy shit, you're going to make so much jam. I literally, other than apricots, every single one of those is one of my favorite fruits. Apricots can rot. They can apricot. What, really? I don't like apricot jam. Apricosa.

That's it in German. Oh. Hmm. Ugh, everyone would make it marmalade. I can't stand apricot. I can't stand it. The skunks can have that one. I like it plain, but not in marmalade.

That's fair. thank you i won't send you any so thanks you're going to send me a whole box of just apricots is it apricot or apricot i say africots but anyway me and my fruit punch tree uh wave happy holidays to you uh thank you i will wave back and hopefully snag a few on my way so and that's why we drink