And That's Why We Drink - E464 Cats at Holidays Parties and Movie Magic Milkshakes

Episode Date: December 28, 2025

Happy Holidays, Boozers and Shakers! It's episode 464 and, boy, are our arms tired! No, seriously, we're so sorry for the impromptu live show but we needed a little holiday downtime this week. In the meantime, please enjoy our second ever live show at the Hollywood Improv, where we do some cute nervous breathing exercises. First Em dishes on the ghosts of the iconic Hollywood Pantages Theater and then Christine covers the case of Clara Phillips aka the Tiger Woman. And everyone please tell us, one-by-one, why you drink... and that's why we drink! Cancel your unwanted subscriptions and reach your financial goals faster with Rocket Money. Go to http://RocketMoney.com/drink today. Go to http://Quince.com/drink  for free shipping on your order and 365-day returns. If you think you or someone you know might be struggling with OCD, please don’t wait to get help. Go to https://learn.nocd.com/ATTWD and book a free call with their team to learn more Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

You know, I love a cheesy holiday movie, okay? But who is going to be putting these together if we don't have something like ZipRecruiter? Because to make these holiday favorites, it takes a team of talented people from actors to editors. My favorite holiday movie being The Grinch from 1956, it took a lot of, you know, like really obviously talented people to make that happen. And when it comes to building a team that makes those things possible, whether it's for the entertainment industry or a wide range of other industries, you need to hire the right people. And the best way to do that is with ZipRecruiter. Right now, you can try it for free at ZipRecruiter.com slash drink. As you know, the best production of all this show was also made possible thanks to ZipRecruiter

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We heard a comedian use it earlier, and we were like, oh my good, why did we not think of that? Yeah. It's ours now. It was between that and yeah. Yeah, by Usher. Yeah. So.

You know what this means. That's what. We might do a remix. We'll see. Hi, guys. Hi. Oh my God, I'm so happy. We're back.

We did our first show here last month. then we did a show in Irvine and now we're back and now it's our third show so we're professionals right now uh-huh yep yeah yes you can tell that um but we were as equally nervous upstairs we were like sprawled out on the couch as like hyperventilating to be down here so yeah in a good way in a good way yeah the employees love that when we just sprawl around and hyperventilate on their furniture well poor eva had to deal with us like zen breathing but not in a cute way No, it wasn't cute. It really wasn't. Did anyone come to the first show here?

Oh, people. So, okay, wait, so who's, like, first show of ours ever, is this? Wow. You got a better response to me. Oh, my, okay. All right. That's a lot of people. Well, you're in for a real weird night.

So, why do you drink? Me? Yeah. Oh, I thought we were asking everybody. Oh, yeah, one by one. One by one, raise your hand. Okay, here, here, here, here. Now, I really racked my brain for this one.

At first, I was like, oh, I'll probably tell you about how I almost broke my foot trying to hang a curtain after a couple glasses of wine. And then I was like, no, that's pretty cliche. So then I was like, what if I tell you about how Gio ran into the road? Oh, that's a good one. Last night and the night before. Wait, again? Twice.

Oh. And I didn't notice because I was asleep on the couch. He somehow got out and just barked at the window until I noticed and saw I'm running around the front yard. I could tell you about that, but I won't. Oh. Too late. That was quite a tease. Instead, I'm going to tell you this fun thing, which is just the most tragic news of all.

So, Blase and I got, so we got a cat recently. His name's Juniper, and we bought him a leash today. we put a harness on him and we walked him in the backyard and i immediately thought oh no i am that person well hang on hang on here's the most psychopathic thing about oh tell me please is that she got a leash for a cat to take him outside when she already has an outdoor mesh cage for the cat so he can already run outside without a leash you're kind of going backwards and forwards at the same I want to give him options. Okay.

We recently, what was the, we had a party. Oh yeah, Allison threw us a surprise party. Jesus. Yeah, thanks Allison. No, we had a party. There was a bunch of people and they're like, what's that thing in the corner? We were like, oh, that's where the cat goes outside. It's Juniper's outdoor jungle gym.

Okay, I'm sorry. I just realized I was one of those people and I had to like have a moment of mourning for the times when I wasn't like a cat person. And now I am, so it's too late for me. So why do you drink this week? I don't know if you can top that, though. That was pretty dark. Oh, I drink because this morning I was in New York. Oh, boy.

Well, this weekend. Boy, are your arms tired? I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. We've had four live shows, and that joke's been used twice already. And I regret nothing. This weekend, I was in Massachusetts, Chicago, and New York. That's really awful. And I woke up today at 2.30 in the morning this, in California time, to get here.

And I've been traveling for 10 hours. And I have a sore throat from traveling. So everyone should feel bad for me. I was like, you're gilting everybody. It's a little bit kind of awful. Well, I just wanted to, those are all the reasons I drank. I didn't want to pick one. Oh, yeah.

Yeah. Anyway, so I, Eva has, I'm just going to spread the secret here. This is supposed to be a milkshake, but Eva has masked it. It's actually a smoothie to make me feel better. So it was actually, she's like, I brought in an out cup to make it look like a milkshake. We were like, you are the bet. To fool you all. We don't deserve you, Eva.

Yes. We don't. So here's movie magic. It's actually a smoothie. So. You never would have known. That being said. I have a ghost story.

Oh, man. I got real nervous. I was going to say. I don't know. I got real nervous. I'm done. Let's go home. Uh-oh.

During the holidays, I have been going through my emails and I've been trying to clear it out and especially get rid of those like subscription plans that I get emails about all the time and I ignore. But then I realize, uh-oh, I think those are paid subscriptions and I'm being warned that more money has been taken out of my account. How do I clear these out? How do I, like, sign in to all? of them and clear them out and make sure I'm not paying for those unwanted subscriptions anymore. Luckily, we have Rocket Money. It made things so much easier for me. Rocket Money is a personal finance app that helps find and cancel your unwanted subscriptions, monitors your

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Let's hope this works because we didn't try it first. Yay! Okay. So we have a drinking game. Yeah, you guys. We have a drinking game. I actually love that this is mostly new people who haven't participated.

Yeah, I asked who has been here before because I didn't know if you guys knew the rules yet. All right, so basically. Write this down, this is important. Basically, you're just going to get really drunk. So, sorry. Anytime Christine gasps. It's not going to happen.

Anytime I clear my throat, my sore, poor, poor throat. Listen, beep, boop up. Any reference to Sweet Baby G. Too late, I already did that like 8. And any reference to sweating profusely, which we should have started doing a half an hour ago. I sort of feel like slightly targeted by these, but it's right. I do this every time, so you do drink twice. Oh, okay. I didn't even make this game, but I'll pretend like I came up with it.

Just say hello. I'm a professional. Okay. So you have to drink twice if we say hello. Oh, thank God. Okay. I always get super nervous that people would be like, hello? Yeah, the last time I said hello, and there was quite a pause. And I was like, read it on, at least read it. We were like, they probably bought tickets to the wrong show. They're like, hi, hello. Okay, English isn't my first language, but I really isn't.

So I don't know why we're, like, commenting. Attacking you? Yeah. Because it's easy. Sassy the clown, talk about easy targets. Anytime we tell Eva what to do. Yeah, Eva, write that town. Which we've already done.

I think we already fired her three times today. We did. We did, and then we rehired her. But she bounces back. She's good. She does. It's good. It's all good.

All right. Oh, that's the name of our show. It's called and that's why we drink. Yep. We never say it, so sometimes. Okay. We'll say it a couple times, I'm sure, during the show. All right.

Here's my story, guys. Who has heard of the Pantages Theater? You should. I have. congratulations thank you it I tried to find something relatively local so it is 11 blocks north and 38 blocks east I think that's pretty local that's like super specific I Google Matted and then counted the blocks okay I was about say that's not like an increment measure on Google Maps I don't think it's 12 minutes away from here so I thought that was pretty I don't know why you

counted the blocks that's pretty weird I like to prove to people that I do some research relatively oh you count things okay yeah got also this is going to be a fun game for everyone. I know you came here to see me really do this on a whim, so that's what you're going to get, because I did these before this weekend when I had this big trip, so I don't really remember much of the story. So great. There are going to be a few times where even I'm like, whoa! Those are actually my favorite M stories when we're both surprised together. I don't believe it. That is the fun. Who did these notes? Okay. What is, Christine, can you believe it? Eva did him. Eva did them. Eva did them. So, all right, let's crack into it. Oh, man. All right.

You're like reappropriating that phrase that you stopped using for a year. I tell myself I'm never going to use it, but it's the cross I bear, so. All right, there's a pretty picture of it. Start you out happy. Oh, man, it's so beautiful. Let you know what it looks like currently. Okay. All right.

Here's a little fun fact slash history for you. Mm-hmm. All right. I'm repositioning. Don't mind me. Okay. I'll wait. There we go.

Sorry. You get like the whole table? I'm sorry I'm just you really just took over sorry I'll just stay out here so

it is considered one of the most beautiful theaters in the world is 110 feet wide just the lobby by the way 110 feet wide 60 feet deep three grand grand

grand not cranned three grand chandeliers two 20 foot wide staircases grand balconies and an orchestra pit so like I have that in my house so like it's so dramatic

downstairs in the powder rooms and in the women's lounge so several lounds except just two because apparently back then there were only two genders so oh god but the women's one was decorated with black leather walls again

in my house so talk about a classy powder room they just ripped me off so it was actually the last theater that vaudeville and film producer Alexander Pantage just built for his 80-feater circuit. So he had 80 of these guys.

Jesus. Wait, what year was this? Did we already say that? Mm-mm. Oh, I'm getting there. Sorry, I'm jumping ahead. This particular building, when he first built it, cost $1.25 million then, which was the 30s to answer your question. Oh, there we go.

So the reason your birthday got mentioned is because the Pantage of Cedar was opened June 4th, your birthday, 1930. Wow. It had 2,812 seats, and it used to show films and popular musical skits. Musical skits. Just skits. Not like a full show. Not like a full shebang, just like a skit.

Sure. I don't know why that's funny. It's not funny. I just don't know what it means. Me either. Oh, okay. So there it is in the olden days. Oh, Clive Brooke, yeah.

Good. In 1929. Mickey Mouse! Wow. I didn't read this. I'm going to be honest, our stories have some crossover today, M. I don't know, you don't even know it, but we have some crossover. I don't even know how Mickey Mouse is involved in a serial killer, but I'm excited to find out.

A serial killer? Oh, my. I thought you meant yours. I was like, you're stealing weight. That's my half. No, no, no. Okay. We'll find out to be determined.

I'll forgive you. In 1929, the year before the market had crashed, and so plans. for 10 more floors of office space above the theater were discontinued, but it was supposed to be even more massive and prestigious than it already was. Alexander Pantagius was accused of assaulting one of the dancers.

What a dick. Named Eunice Pringle. Eunice Pringle! I'm sorry, that was really distracting. That's her name. Every time I see Eunice, I just think of she's the man. I'm like, Eunice!

Wasn't that the name encouraged a cowardly dog. Oh yeah, that was the... The grandma. Yeah. No, Eustis. You're right. Eustace. See, she knows. You know what, I don't know anything. Sorry, I'm treading on your story. I'm sorry.

No, I'm... You're only enhancing it. Eunice Pringles. So, wow. Okay. So, William Randolph Hearst. Hmm. So, in the L.A. Examiner, he wrote Alexander Pantages as a cold foreigner, because he had recently come from

Greece. That is the funniest thing of this whole story. I'm sorry, a cold foreigner. What are like weird? Well, like cold, not cold, like, icy, like. Okay, so here's the thing.

What? Oh, I don't know. I just feel like I should reiterate. Cold, like, like, like, like, yes, because he was reporting on the fact that he assaulted someone, and so he was reporting about him as like, oh, he's not a nice guy. Okay, got it.

And a foreigner. Just to throw it in there. and Eunice was written about as an innocent victim Okay, fair, fair He ended up being convicted in 1931 and he appealed And then was found not guilty Drink oh shit I really try I really did I was really trying

It sounded very easily it escaped quite Without any issue Really yes you're right I really didn't put a hold on it I'm sorry Oh I thought someone was raising their hand Like they had a question They're like, I finally thought of why I drink this week, and I want to tell you.

Okay, so after he was found not guilty, they ended up looking at the evidence again and found out that Alexander Pantagis was actually not guilty. And Eunice was hired by one of the big guys, Joseph Kennedy, who controlled RKO, was paid off by him to make a false claim against Alexander Pantagius, because he had turned down Joseph's offer

when he asked to buy out all the theaters. Whoa, I thought you could say his offer for sex, and I was like, this is becoming like an HBO special. But that's also pretty dramatic, I guess. I mean, that's a wild story we can roll with, but I don't have that in the notes, so. I think pretend that that's the story. It's just safe if I keep going on what's on the page.

Okay, okay, okay. So his reputation was still shot, and his finances took a huge hit, and he wound up selling his theaters to archaer, anyway the next year. Okay. So really he could have just sold them to begin with and have skipped all that.

But he chose. But why not? The tough road. Be dramatic. He's probably a Gemini. I'm sorry. I can't stop myself. You're a Gemini.

So the Pantages Theater became mainly a movie house and it only had occasional musicals at this point. And in 1949, it was acquired by Archaeo pictures and became the Archeo Panages. my notes say to switch slides now going to do that oh that's fun isn't it that's fancy so it became the theater for the

Academy Awards for 11 years okay um it hosted celebrities such as Bob Hope Fred Astaire Jerry Lewis Angela Lansberry Shirley MacLean Dean Martin Charlton Heston John Wayne Bet Davis and Doris Day so like Betty Davis yes sorry no I was just going And you're right. Even if you're wrong, I'm just going to say you're right. I think you're right. I'm not wrong. Eva, edit this out.

So, and what if we just scripted all this to be like? A lot of people are staring me dead in the eyes when they drink, and that's the weird part. They're like, I know, I know you did this, what's happening here. They're like, you've done this to me. Yeah, yeah, that's true. In 1953, it held the first ever televised Academy Award. And it was home to the Oscars, like I said, for 11 years and only changed venues because the Oscars got so big they needed a different place. Okay.

Oh, I lost where it was. Oh, here we are. In 1954, they ended up selling it out. And in the 60s, Pacific theaters bought out Pantages to be renovated into only a stage theater. And in 1977, it closes a movie theater and is now only a stage theater. okay so in 2000 it was fully restored and it cost 10 million dollars to restore it that's nice and it was sorry it's a lot of money i mean yeah yeah it is not chump change so it was spent to clean the entire place like take everything like all the chandeliers and replace them or clean

them um replacing authentic parts rebuilding the stage for broadway touring companies um and they actually They built the original 10 floors that they were supposed to build back in the 30s. Oh, okay. So the stage play, the Disney's Lion King, that play came to, you know, it's a little thing. It's like a little famous. It came to the Pantages and was so successful

that that show alone got the theater to make all of their $10 million back. Holy crap. And a profit. We're in the wrong industry, man. And that's all I have about the history. So let's just talk about ghosts. Let's do it.

Let's let's let's just fold that part away. Just get rid of that part. No one ever needs to say it again. All right. So, first ghost is of Howard Hughes. Oh, I know him. Do you? Because he was in my notes.

Who was he? I'm just kidding. I'll just like. I actually don't remember him being in your notes. I just know who he is. Oh, good for you. I didn't know who he was. I was like, I didn't know there would be a pop quiz.

I said it and felt mean. I was like, oh, I should not do that. We'll talk about this later. I know. So he was involved in RKO pictures, and he was very regularly at the building for decades. Long time. Yeah, long, long time.

So his ghost is probably one of the most prominent ones that anyone sees. He's seen from the stage. So, like, when you're on stage, you can see him in the seats. He's usually in the last row of the balcony. And there have been a few times where security has been trying to clean out all the seats at the end of the day to, like, have people leave. And they've seen him up there and have had to walk up and say, you have to leave. And by the time they get up there, he's already faded away.

That's spooky. There are also sightings of there are sightings of him walking up the aisle during performances as if to exit through the back like he's like not pleased with the show. Uh-oh, that's actually my nightmare. Can you imagine? There could be a ghost doing that right now.

There's that exit sign. Oh, I would just oh, I would just die. There are also a lot of ushers who have said that they'll hold the door for him and then he'll just vanish right before he gets to the door. How this guy just sounds rude. He's like, I've got another way to get out of here, but thanks. Thanks, but no thanks. There have been so many sightings of him that the historical marker in front of the building actually mentions his ghost, which I think is fun.

No? Okay. Just me then. Actually, that was so fun. I can't even process how fun that was. No, he was. It was so fun. It was so fun that no one reacted.

It was really, we all had a great. We all had a good time. Okay. So the staff regularly see women walking in the balcony or going to the ladies' room in old-fashioned clothing, and they disappear mid-gossip with each other. Mid-gossip. Which is just so mean to me, like as the eavesdropper. You're like, what did Angela do? I need to know.

Imagine you're in the bathroom and you hear, and then, poof. And I'm like, what? What? You're like, you will never believe what happened next. And then you'll never know. And I'm like, but I want to. Oh, man. That's actually pretty evil.

There are also women who will walk into the bathroom and in the corner of their eye, they will see women dressed in 1930s clothes looking at themselves in the mirror and putting on makeup. Oh, that's fun. And then you turn around to check on them and they're gone.

It's just in the corner of your eye. It's less threatening that way, I think. I would still be so scared. Yeah, I was like, I don't know. I wonder if she's the one they're gossiping about. Oh, man. Like that bitch in her makeup. Look at them.

That bitch in her makeup. Always. I'm telling you. Always reapplying her lip-box. If anyone knows good ghost gossip, it's me. Yeah, Angela, we know. Look how pretty that place is. It is very beautiful.

So back to Hughes. He has been seen in quote, a smart suit. Roaming where his old office was, and he walks through a wall, which used to be the original doorway to his office. Oh, creepy. Which follows like that blueprint kind of theory. Yeah, I love that.

Anyone know what I'm talking about? Yeah. Cool. Otherwise, I was going to skim by, and you're all going to be like, what? What is that? Cool, moving along. Staff have reported a gush of cold air

whizz right past them when they're in the office, even when the AC isn't on, and they'll feel like a breeze hit them on full blast. That's kind of nice, though. But is he bullrushing you? Is he, like, getting you? Or is he blowing in your face?

Yeah, that's gross. I really don't know where the icy wind comes from, but it's such a... Listen, M, I'm really funny, and you just kind of have to get used to it. And I know it's hard for you to sit there and, like, listen to it. It's really hard to live in your shadow. Yeah, it is. I know. I know.

It must be really hard. Anyway, people get cold sometimes. the staff Oh, help me Okay, go on The staff regularly smell cigar smoke Which

I looked everywhere And it says Which Hughes despised cigars Like, but like enough Here's the thing Apparently He hated them enough That's what he chose to smell like

That doesn't make any sense I know Well, okay, maybe Hold on Because my here I have no This isn't my story because my

thought was like okay another ghost smoke cigars not like maybe a live person was smoking cigars but like if there's another ghost who likes cigars

maybe that would be the smell however apparently he daily mentioned how much he hates cigars and so now apparently they smell cigars a lot of time and they think oh that must be him

but that's like the stupidest thing but maybe I have a theory all right let's hear it here we go here's what happened so I think what happened is he was like, I hate this so much because he really loved it so much. You know?

All right. Like he was like, oh, fuck cigars. But in his mind he was like, I just want a cigar. Yeah. And you know how people are like super like, they stand up for something. Like they like are super outspoken about something they hate

because like secretly they kind of love it. Yeah. So I think that's what it is. And that's my theory. That's a fair theory. That's a fair theory. Oh. Wow, that was powerful.

We are all moved now. You're welcome, Matt. Anyway, supposedly you regularly smell cigar smoke coming from where his office used to be. And according to Christine's theory, which could be accurate. Is the correct theory. Oh.

You also hear unexplained banging noises, like someone is opening and closing desk drawers. Apparently you'll hear like the clinking of the brass handles and you'll actually hear like someone shoving the drawer shut. you'll hear like pens in the cup moving around. Like he's still working, which sounds like true hell. He's like, that's awful. People will check the room because they're convinced that someone's in there

shuffling things around, but the room is empty and very cold. So back to the cold thing. After a break-in that happened in the 90s, the upper balcony was damaged, which was right next to his office, and activity increased as if the ghosts were really mad or upset. like really protective of the territory okay okay got it we're on board then i think that makes sense to me so the manager has said that the spirits got very angry at that point and activity on the second floor increased and there is now regularly loud banging all over the building

loud yelling in your ear idea which i don't like me neither um and one former employee says that they even heard a frustrated man's voice in the conference room which used to be his office, but a voice that was clearly mad and upset. I don't know what that's very sad. It sounds like he's like still working really hard and he does not need to be. And he's like smoking

too many cigars. Or not enough or I mean maybe he has Who's to say? Guys, it's not us. This is why we do the live shows. We just want you to tell us what to do at this point. So this is a cry for help. Also

apparently someone has actually seen a figure of a shadow, jump out at them, as if to, like, play peekaboo, like, to... No, that's fucking ridiculous. To be like, ah, gotcha. No, that's fucking awful. No, uh-uh. Imagine me like, oh, the room's empty.

No, no, it's not. And they're like, I thought this would be fun and endearing. Like, fuck you, ghost. That's not cute. You're right, you're right. No, it's not. It's just mean. I'm already mad about it. Um, where was I?

Oh yeah, here we are. So in 1932, there was a woman who died on stage during a show. Oh, what? So, Christine. Uh-oh. Good luck. Dun, don't do you make it through this. This is, that's awful.

Also, there's no more information than that, which I feel like as a company, you should have more information. If something happens to me tonight, somebody at least better write, like, an article about it. Like, at least post it on Instagram or something. Buzzfeed or something. They said potentially she was a singer with stage fright and she died on stage, which becomes me, not you, all of a sudden. It's like, that's actually just the most upsetting thing I ever heard. She's like, I'm stage bright, but I'll overcome it.

I'll get there. I believe in myself. How awful. That's the most awful thing I ever heard. It's just like even more embarrassing because it was a public. Like everyone saw. Like everyone saw you not succeed. You're like, what if everyone sees me embarrass myself?

No, everyone will see you die. Especially like horrible. All your friends and family are like, oh, you'll do great. And they're like, oh, oh, no. This is exactly the opposite of what we told them. It's really bad. It makes me feel really sad for her. Yeah.

And yet I can't stop laughing because it's just so absurd. Okay, I'm sorry. I just imagine the guilt. would give like Allison or Blaze or Eva and they're like oh you're going to do so good and then like our bodies are like I would haunt them forever they're like oh how dare you so just another angle I don't know if your eyes got bored so give you a little give you a little look see I wanted to look like I did my research it looks like it looks like that it looks like this yes um so at night the voice of a woman is heard singing in the auditorium is that her

me thinks so i guess i'm sorry i spoke too soon which is ironic because like if she died of stage friday now she's killing it like oh you're an idiot oh man oh boy but also that makes me think like what if I die at stage right which is possible

and like and then you're going to come up here but then I thrive afterwards I mean I guess you're living out your after life I don't know we'll see where life takes me

and afterlife so the voice this is how they know that she's been singing in the auditor him besides just like annoying people she her voice i imagine it's annoying i imagine it's very annoying you guys yeah okay so apparently the voice has been picked up on mic many times oh shit on stage while other live people are singing how irritating is that that's got to be the most frustrating thing like i'm trying you had your moment you didn't make it it's my turn that's like Some podcasts are coming up here and talking into a microphone while we're trying to do our stupid show.

Yeah. You get it. Yeah. That's rude. She also apparently, her voice carries over the monitor louder than other people's voices. So it's like, everyone else is like, la, la, la. And she's like, la, la, la. Just to make sure you know what's going on.

Wow, I identify with her so much, though. But can you hear me, though? Oh, my God. I love her. She's a Gemini. Yes, thank you. Apparently, she, like, without fail, will always show up during Joseph and the Technicolor Dreamcoat. Everyone's got a jam.

That's hers. That's fine. Oh, my God. That's so good. And everyone in the audience heard, everyone in the audience heard. And then it also got caught on the monitor. They were like, who's that fucking voice? And it was her.

Was she singing a song from that? Or was she singing like a totally different? Can you imagine she's singing like cats? And they're like, no. I hope she was singing pony. That I would, that's the only thing. She's before her time. Yeah.

Yeah. So, one time a wardrobe lady actually had an experience with her, where she was the last to leave the theater, always the worst person in these stories. Uh-oh. And she walked towards an exit, and the emergency lights all went out. Good. Like, she's in pitch black in a haunted theater. Fantastic. Awesome.

She, uh-huh. Woo-hoo. She walked towards the exit, like, stumbling around, trying to find her way. and she bumped into what felt like an ice-cold person. Oh. And she couldn't find her way out, so she's kind of grabbed onto this thing. She's like, okay.

She's like, you'll do. I'll figure it out. Carry me to safety. So in the pitch black, she grabbed what felt like their elbow, and they walked her to the front, and with a, quote, firm, cold hand on her lower back,

guided her through the building. So it's like, Thanks. What? But no, thanks. I mean, to be fair, she grabbed this lady's elbow.

I mean, she was. She was like, you're my ticket out of here. Lead me. I mean, I don't know. Yeah, I feel like if I was reaching for something and realized it was cold and moving, I'd be like, mm-mm.

I'll just stay lost. I'll just stay lost. I'll just sit here in the dark. So, sorry, I thought she was coming for me. And this isn't about you. You know, Christine was going to town on some nachos upstairs. Don't! Why? Why do you turn this on me? Because I was like, oh, I haven't eaten yet.

And then I was like, oh, Christine did. They were really good nachos. That's what it looked like. I did eat almost all of them in four minutes. We literally, okay, so Christine got her nachos, and then we looked at our clocks and we were like, oh, we have to be down there in seven minutes. And Christine was like, I got it.

It was actually embarrassing because M came out of the bathroom and was like, Where are they? They're all gone. They were very good. Oh, where were we? Oh, yeah. She's still lost in the theater. Okay.

I was just busy with nachos. Yeah. Okay. I don't know why I felt the need to call you out. I don't know either M. I just felt embarrassed and I was like, well, you're going down with me. That's really fair. Like, we really can't do that to each other.

That's friendship. We can destroy that. No, no, we're done. We're done now. Okay, I'm done. I'm saving everything for... You know too much. You know too much.

Future. Future stories. So, yeah. So let's talk about someone else. That's not me. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So this girl is lost in the dark and grabbing a cold human. Corpspses.

Right. Good. Yeah, probably. Yep. So the cold hand guided her towards the door and once you, like, push the door up, you know how the light comes in. She opened the door. You know how, like, things work.

You know, like, physics and nature. I was trying to be, like, creative in my storytelling. It didn't, like, I thought it was very creative. She opened the door, the light flooded in, and then she still felt the hand on her and looked over, and no one was there. And then before it totally faded away,

she felt something like pressed on her back, like scratch her to be like, oh, no, I'm still here. Ew, ew, ew! Like, you're not thinking wrong. I'm here, you just can't see me, aha, and then went away. What a creepo? What a creepo?

Yeah. Well, I don't know. I feel like that would be me, though. You'd be like, ha-ha. I'd be really helpful, but then I'd be like, Oh, no, you're going to think about this one later. You'll never forget how helpful I was. You have to appreciate this.

Where was I? Who knows? Anyone want to take over? Hello? It works. Clink. Yeah, I don't know what the hell that was. I don't know.

I'm used to recording and I've already finished my drink, so then I have to, like, clink with my finger. All right. Clink, clink, clink. Oh, yeah. we were moving on to another another spirit potential demon. You guys ready?

Okay. Imagine if they're like, no. What if it was just silent? It's like, can you get like going on this? All right. Oh, I cleared my throat. I don't know if anyone wants to drink. Oh, yeah, drink.

I'm sorry. Sorry, I'm a... I'm not sorry. Have a good time. So a tall male apparition regularly walks down the hall into Hughes's old office. Many say he...

You did it again. God. I have a sore throat, okay? It sounds like you're just rubbing it in, but... It's like I'm asking for it, really. I'm like, mm-hmm. Do you hear her? God damn it, Ann. Now you're starting to sound like Christine.

Yeah, it's actually a little weird to hear my voice being thrown across the room. So others say he also looks very dashing, however he's in a different suit. Oh. So they're like, maybe that's... Alexander Pantages himself. Okay.

Which is interesting that he's going into someone else's office. I think that's funny. It's hilarious. Well, just like fuck around. Yeah, no, it is. I mean, when you've got eternity, you might as well, like, just go mess with people's stuff. That's why.

Yeah. I imagine that's what all ghosts do. Put a stapler in some jello. I'm sorry. I was like, what do people do in each other's offices? I see the connection now. That's actually funny. Oh, I'm glad you find it funny.

I know, I was like, that's funny, but I don't know how you got there. And then I was like, oh, now I see it. That's hysterical. It was a really, like, quick-fire jump for me. It wasn't you. It was me. I was like, oh, good job. There it is.

You should be the frontrunner in this comedy show. Oh, yes. If you're not already, I mean, yeah. So, um. I don't know. What? I don't know. I haven't slept since 2.30.

I don't want to call you out because you're so. sick, just keep talking. You're hilarious, and we love you. I know, I know, I am. I know. So, yeah, you can hear the sounds of his bookshelves moving in the middle of the night, which I have actually seen in real life. I've seen a bookshelf move by itself.

What? And that is bananas. I mean, it literally looked like two grown men shoving it, but the two grown men were there. Where were you? I was in. Yorktown Beach. What happened? A bookshelf moved.

Why? I don't know why. But I do know, here's the weird part about that. This was a house that, this was when I was doing investigations. Oh, casual, you know. Investigations. And there was one house that we, previously the night before, were able to get into, and then we went the next night and we couldn't get into it.

And we didn't know why the door went open this time with the key. And the door felt stuck. and then the next day we went in through another door and the bookshelf was in front of the door. What? Like it didn't want us in there. And this is a house that has been not lived in for like 50 years. So it's not like...

I don't like that. Like no one did that. That's alive. Okay. I'm just saying. Oh, man. That's gross. So anyway, this bookshelf also moves.

Got it. Per experience, I believe this part of the source. story with 100%. You can hear books and papers being shuffled. I said you can hear pens moving in the cup, but there have been times where pens get thrown at people. That's what got you?

Yeah, it's funny. They've also heard the cup fall and all the pens spill out, and they've heard a grown man say, oh, shit. That is for show me as a good. Oh shit Oh, we're moving on No, oh, I just really wanted you guys

To get a real 360 look on this place apparently Oh, this is, oh, it's beautiful Same place, I know, this is the right side I mean, to be fair, it's very beautiful It is You guys, if you're listening at home, Google, Pantagius Theater I just feel bad, we're gonna be putting this on the air, I guess This is how we figure

Did you just hit your tooth on the mic? No. I'm very new at this. You know what, to be fair, though, I can't laugh at you because we were standing behind that door to get introduced and the door fucking slammed into my face. That's true. Entire face got hit by a door.

And I heard Christine and Eva both go, oh, and they're not help me. They're just like, whoa, are you okay now? You're on your own. That thing hit me good, too. Yeah, it hit you right in the face. So we're even now. Okay.

I mean, mine was, like, in front of a bunch of people. Like that girl with the stage fright. Oh, you're making your way. So. God, my worst nightmares. There have been a lot of employees in the auditorium that were by themselves, poor choice. And they heard soft, slow clapping from the balcony, as if he's like, what a dick. I imagine he's doing that face to have like, hmm, I.

He's like, yeah, I guess. like, keep it up. That's really rude. That's where we're going to get at the end of this show. Oh my God. When we leave, there's going to be one person.

Why are we here? They're not even alive. And it's Eva. It's Eva. I'm still here. Eva, clap for us at the end. Please. Drink.

Oh, shit. I don't even notice it anymore. I'm trying not to say. What? Oh, I was going, la la, la, because I was trying not to say the thing that makes people drink. Oh, yeah. You're all going to think.

Oh, my, I really don't know where I am. Oh, a voice has been picked up on the mic that was not the singer. It was a man laughing to himself. Okay. Or not to himself. We only just got one voice. He could have been laughing at several people, but for all we know, he was, like, just thought he was really funny, like, I think, about myself.

So everyone in the audience, also heard a laugh. So like people are hearing people not there singing. They are hearing people not there laughing. And then when everyone goes home, the monitors will turn on by themselves and

you can hear other voices of people that are not in the theater having conversations with each other. I bet it's those gossipy witches. Yeah. For sure. They're like now that we have the stage. For sure. Let's talk about Becky.

again. Yes, that's correct. I like when you laugh. See? It's so fun. You know, we got an email today and someone said that my laugh sounds like a dolphin.

Yeah. The actual subject was regarding M's laugh. Regarding M's laugh. Well, I was like, uh-oh. I hope I don't have to delete this before I'm seeing it. Oh, my ego was really high. Well, no, I thought it was going to be mean.

No, I went the other direction. I was like, oh. I was like, I can't wait for a compliment. And then I opened the email and it was like, M sounds like a dolphin. And I was like, yeah. It actually said, M sounds like flipper. Yeah.

Yep. I was like, oh. I was like, that checks out. You're not really wrong. I was like, oh, yeah, actually kind of. So where were we? God, Em. I can't get my shit together.

Oh, I even put this in color for you. You did. I did. Okay. Are you ready for a good one? Yeah. So in 2013, the owner was reported to know of at least seven ghosts in the building, one of them, who is a dog. That's a, what a wild assortment of reaction.

A weird mix. Like, oh, ooh. Some, like, cat calls going on. Yeah. Although there is no hard evidence, everyone who has ever been there by themselves has heard a dog bark and has felt a tail, like, walk past them, which is... Oh, I did gasped. I did. I did. I did do it. I was like, we're... Geo? I don't know. Oh, drink. Sorry.

It's really easy game. Really, you could stop whenever. We get it. You're drunk. We're not trying to give you alcohol poisoning. And as of the 2000s, there are no longer allowed to be investigations because the theater owners know that there are spirits there. They've had enough stories from enough people where they know for a fact that they're a ghost and they just don't want to disrespect them. So they've

taken out investigations. So they just go off of people's stories now from when they're around. But most people who have worked there have experienced the dog at least once. And apparently when you're by yourself, if you get scared you can hear the dog panting next to you. Oh, baby!

Sweet baby baby, baby. So that counts as a geo reference, I think. Sweet baby baby baby. Guys, this weekend I'm babysitting him. I'm going to have such a killer time. All right. You'll see it on the Instagram, I'm sure. So, you know what? Thank you for dog sitting my dog. I appreciate it.

You're just so welcome. I call it Snuggle Fest 2018. I know. It's actually, Emma's already created a hashtag. It's my nightmare, really. I always text Christine, and I'm like, I can't wait for my VIP ticket to the Snuggle Fest. That's literally not an exaggeration. I get that text, maybe three times a week. I also regularly text her. I'm like, Christine, he's my best friend.

He's actually my best friend. And she's like, I asked if you wanted me to make you dinner when you come over. It's six in the morning. I'm trying. Yeah, actually, it's truly a nightmare. You're welcome. Thank you. If I'm your nightmare, you've got quite a life.

You've got such a good life. I have a great life. Oh, when the theater seats, this is a funny one. When the theater seats need to be replaced, I guess one of the routines that they do is they'll put tape on each chair to know which ones need to be replaced and in the middle of the night they'll change the tape

so you have to like figure out what chair so they have to go through and sit in 2,800 chairs to make sure I can't decide what ghost I want to be I want to be all of them another one of the seven ghosts is a little girl who sing show tunes in the hallways

oh my the staff will regularly turn off lights and then the lights will come right back on as soon as they leave the door. It's like I have to just keep going back and forth. Which sounds like a real dick move. Yeah, it's really rude. People have heard heavy footsteps in the hallways when they're

alone. They feel someone bump into them multiple times. They'll just be walking, go, oh, sorry to nothing. Which I guess I do. I was going to say that seems pretty standard. You just got hit by a door like 20 minutes ago. And I apologize, I think, to the door too.

A lot of people have felt a child squeezed their hands and they've also this is the weird part mothers have kept holding the hand because they looked down and saw a child and thought it was their own like waiting in line to go into a show

and then they see their kid over there and they're like yuck yuck oh music will play in empty rooms and when you stop to check or look at the speakers. Nobody is in the control room. And a lot of the spirits will make sure that the building is being treated well and work is getting done. So, oh boy. Like I said, a lot of the spirits are very protective of the area and they like to make sure that the work

is actually getting done. So if the staff are not working, they will find a polite shadow man, either watching them from the doorway or politely banging on the walls next to them. Like if there's a wall here, it'll bang right here so you go, ugh, and, like, realize you should get off your phone, which I assume is what they're doing. That doesn't seem very polite. No, but also he will stand behind you and tap on your shoulder,

and you'll turn around and see a shadow man tapping on your shoulder to be like, get to work, but apparently he's only ever there when you're not working, so it's kind of just, like, keep you in line. If you do your work, you never see him, so there's your reward. He has a nice straw hat,

I would see him all the time if I was working. they also see the ghosts of multiple well-dressed men walking around the corners into dead ends and people will follow the person and nobody is there when they get to the dead end the spirits will watch over construction in the building in 2000 during a lot of the restoration there was a painter that was restoring the theater auditorium and hughes was seen walking over the scaffolding and onto the balcony and when the workman asked what he wanted he just stared at him and then vanished, and then pointed at a picture of like,

oh, who's that guy? I saw him earlier, and it was Hughes. Ooh. Another worker that day complained that a man in a hat climbed down from the balcony to the scaffolding and stopped at where he was working. And the man in the hat leaned over the painter's shoulder to inspect closely at his work.

And later he overheard the painter, the one in the first story, he later overheard that another electrician was also complaining about. out a man who was leaning over him too closely to watch him work, and he was also a man in a hat. They all discovered that the man leaning over them very intensely was the same person, and they all quit that day,

which was the smartest thing they could have ever done. Me too. And another usher was cleaning out the theater after a matinee, looked at the seats, and saw the same man in a hat that was about to leave. He went to the man, and the man then came back and sat down and waited for the usher to approach him so like intelligently saw him coming no uh the usher got up to him and said uh you need to leave the theater the matinees over he blankly stared for what felt like in eternity and when the usher looked down at him sitting in the seat realized he had no torso listen he also had no legs in case

he was wondering if it was just the midsection well i did i thought he was just invisible in the middle No, he had nothing below his chest and he was just floating in the seat staring at him. I don't like torso-related conversations. And he was also a man in a hat. So apparently the man in the hat is the creepiest one. But that is all the ghosts. Thank you, Ed.

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it's quince.com slash drink now that the holidays are coming to a close or i guess are officially closed. You know, it's a good time to check back in on our mental health and make sure we're doing well. And thankfully, we have partnered with no CD. For people who might be struggling with OCD, OCD is so much more than the stereotypes. It's a serious and highly misunderstood condition that causes people to get stuck in a cycle of stressful, unwanted thoughts and repetitive physical behaviors. It comes with intrusive thoughts and compulsions. And OCD can be debilitating because there are, you know, there are a lot of misconceptions and just on top of the symptoms themselves, there's a lot of shame about those symptoms, a lot of people suffer in silence, and not every

therapist understands OCD or is qualified to treat it effectively, which can make it difficult to find the right help. But OCD is highly treatable with a specialized type of therapy called ERP or exposure and response prevention. And with an OCD, you can do live virtual ERP therapy with licensed therapists who specialize in OCD. And no CD therapy, are highly trained and they really understand OCD. So they're not going to judge you no matter what your thoughts are about. And OCD is covered. Their therapy is covered by insurance for over 155 million Americans. So there's a good chance that you might be one of those people. And if you think that you might be going through that, you know, no CD is there for you. I know

Christine has used it in the past. She said that it's been really helpful. So give it a shot. If you think you or someone you know might be struggling with OCD, please don't wait to get help. Just go to nocd.com and book a free call with their team to learn more. That's nocd.com to schedule a free call and learn more. Ooh, what a mystery. Are you guys ready for a true crime story? That's so much fun. Okay, so this is the story of Clara Phillips,

aka the tiger woman. I know, it's mysterious. I really, if I knew you would do that, I don't know if I would have. I've never heard of her, so. Yeah, I know, but I don't. I'm ready to be wowed. You're going to be wowed. So actually, I'm going to take you back to the 20s.

Well. The roaring 20s. As they are. L.A. L.A. is at its prime. Actually, in the 20s, L.A. finally reached. I'm sorry, is there a fly? What's happening?

There's this bug. Are you dancing? Like, what's? It's just, like, really like... Interpretive. There it is. It just, it really likes you. I really just want to smack you in the face

because it's like... If you fucking touch you. I mean, I won't. But there were a couple times where I was like, I forgot people were watching. Yeah, I saw your hands going real close to my face. I'm sorry. I swear to God in.

Roaring 20s. I'm there. I'm back at, I'm there. We're in the roaring 20s. I'm sorry. Are you there? I'm there. Okay, get there.

The fly's there, too. Yeah. I'm sure it is. I'm sure it is. Take it away, take it away. Here's the thing. We're in the 20s in Los Angeles. LA just reached one million residents.

Wow. Big city life. Calabunga, dude. Wow, this is like rife for M1-liners today. Loving it. Oh, yeah. Loving it. I was on a plane for 10 hours a day.

I didn't really get to socialize, so. I'm feeling real extroverted and chatty. Hi on Sudafed. Yep. Oh, there it is again. There's two of them. And I swear to God. That looks like a geo hair.

Where did that come from? Drink. Oh, God. All right. Also, in the 1920s, speaking of your story, Walt Disney showed up. Mm-hmm.

He showed up on the scene. Oh, just in general. Did his jam. You know how he did. Okay, actually, I'm going to be totally honest with you. I got sucked into a Walt Disney's Wikipedia article while I was researching this. Isn't it fascinating? It is. If you guys don't anything about Walt Disney and his like the whole Disney history, I mean it is. And I'm not like a Disney person, but like wow, it was fascinating.

So I got real sucked up in that. Have you looked into like the, um, the, like the underground tunnels and all that? That's bananas. You know, that's the fun part when you start hitting all the footnotes and you start Well, here's the thing. I also, I dated someone who worked at Disney, I can confirm all that. Like, because I would be like, is it true? And she's like, oh, yeah, that's really true. The secret passageways?

Yeah, but like, okay, you apparently, do you know the, there's some X-rated stuff going on at Disney in the tunnels, which we're not going to talk about. What? You can't just say there's X-rated stuff, and we're not going to talk about it. I'm just going to say people in costumes, it gets weird. That's all I. I know. That's all I know.

What? And that's why we drink. Jesus, that is why I drink. I mean, I'm out of wine, but. No, I didn't bring a box. Your runner isn't here today. I thought maybe I did. Eva?

I'm sorry. No, because if I do that, Eva, we'll literally get up and do it. Yeah, she's way too nice. She would actually do it. She would actually, I'm like ready for like a little person just run up here. Let me tell you about this. We're in the 1920s and well, it doesn't. needs there. Okay? Yeah. Okay. So it's July of 1922. A 23 year old woman named Peggy

Kathy hit the picture button. Oh. I feel like a grandma, hit the big purple button. By the way, for my birthday, Christine took me to Nickelodeon Studios and we were trying to, she took me on a tour and there was a bunch of children dancing and she literally said. What did I do? I don't remember. I was drinking wine. It was like a bring your family and friends thing to the studios And so it was like on our birthday week And she was like, do you want to like see a bunch of statues of Rockers Mar and life? And I was like, fuck yeah There was a bunch of children dancing in the yard

And she literally goes, blaze, is that the Bruno Mars? Ah! Anyway, here's your fucking picture. You're a fucking demon. You're a literal demon. Love you. Look, this is Peggy, okay? God damn.

You are a demon and a half. Bro hurts. Carry on. Where to God. This is Peggy. She's 23, and she lives. lives in Long Beach. We know where that is.

Yep. I'm not happy with you. No. So, okay, she's living in Long Beach. Suddenly, she hears from an old pal she hadn't heard from for a couple years named Clara Phillips. So she, Peggy and Clara had been chorus girls together, and they had actually met two years before when they were playing in a pantagious performance together.

I know, right? Wow, a lot of full circles here with the Mickey Mouse and the... Can I just do this? How do we... Yeah. Remember, you go... I go, I have to count... Wrong way.

Long way. Shits. Remember you have to say shit. Shit. There it goes. There really is like a... We actually had to do that. No, we literally test it out.

We go, shit. You have to do it for like three eyes of shit. There's a whole rhythm. So that's Clara. Clara, that's her friend that she had met at doing the Pantages show. Uh-huh. So it's two years later, and Peggy, I think there's actually a photo. Oh, yeah, there's them in their, like, that's Clara in her performance outfit.

Yeah, what a stunna. Oh, yeah. So the two, okay, so Peggy and Clara had lost touch because Peggy gave up show business to get married and moved to Long Beach, and Clara had kind of continued her show business thing. So it's two years later. Peggy is shopping in Los Angeles, and she runs into Clara and her mother. They kind of get to talking, and they're like, oh, it's been a while since I've seen you. And about a week later, Clara shows up at Peggy's house.

And she's like, hey, let's reconnect. Which, by the way, if someone does that, just be like, no, thank you. Because that, I mean, even if it's, like, through Facebook messenger. It's, like, firm pass. Uh-uh. Our, like, two ships in the night. We're done now. Right, we've moved past that.

So she shows up at her doorstep, and she's like, let's go shopping. So in case I know you're all wondering So they did go shopping And they did go to Woolworths And they did buy slippers I know you're wondering So Peggy was like well I didn't notice anything too odd Except that Clara was kind of quiet and like meditative

And so she's like Okay well we're done with our shopping trip let's move on The next day Claire shows up at her door again And this time she's like I have something to tell you So Clara, a little backstory. So Clara got married as a teenager to a man named Armour Phillips, who became a successful oil stock salesman in the 20s,

so he was like a successful businessman. Sure. And she married him when she was, I think, 14. Woof! Woof! Woof indeed. Wait, what year is again in the 20s? Yeah.

Is that like a normal thing then? It's fine. This guy goes, yeah, yeah, that's fine. He's like, oh, I've been there. No, no, no. He's like, oh, it's cool. I was there. It's not my thing, but... It's cool. It's fine. It's an NBD. All right. I'll rock it.

It's cool. It's fine. So she was like super jealous of her husband. And so at this point, she's 23. And she's like, I think my husband has been seeing another woman. And Peggy's like, well, no, of course not. Like, why would you think that? And she goes, well, I followed him around for several weeks. That'll do it.

And he was with another 14-year-old. And she's like, I realized he has been turning his attentions toward a seductive bank clerk named Alberta Meadows. And Alberta was a 21-year-old widow whose husband, I know. Well, look, if you're getting married, a 14, I mean, that's seven years. Her husband had died when she was 19. Oh, that's wrong. You got to go. I'm sorry, it's a counterintuitive.

That's Alberta. What we're not going to do is judge someone on their looks. Listen. I'm sure she has a great heart. Oh, no. Oh, no? Well, okay, then you guys can judge. There's Alberta.

Sorry. So, Alberta. Listen, Alberta. She's 21, and she doesn't look 20. Like when I was 21... I mean, she's aging poorly. I mean, to be fair, like, when I was 21, I didn't have a set of pearls like that.

I mean, also, to be fair, in the 20s, like, they didn't have Neutrigina, you know? Like, she was doing her best with what she had. Right. I think she looks beautiful. Let's move on. So... I feel like those, like, girls in the 30s in the bathroom.

You're being that fucking bitch in the bathroom. To be fair, it sounds like you're talking about them. Because where we left off... I told you that they crossed up. over these stories I told you. Yeah, because you were like, she says, I have something to tell you. The Pantages. They performed in the Pantages. I hear you. So here's what happened. Peggy was like, you're probably over analyzing this. I don't think your husband's cheating. And Claire was like, no, I know that he has been paying to fix up Alberta's car. And he's also bought her a wristwatch

as a gift. But girls can't read time in the 20s. Oh, gosh. And she was, apparently, Alberta was like, look at this beautiful watch I got. I bought myself for my birthday. And Claire was like, my husband bought that for you. So she was like real mad. So then she's like, but let's go shopping again. And so Peggy was like, all right. And Clara was kind of like, you know how there's like a pair of friends

and one of them's kind of like, we're doing this, like the bossy like, let's go, let's go, let's go. It's definitely not me. No, that's me. It's you. I'm like Christine, I'm not telling you where we're going, but just be ready on this day. Go. So Clara's like, I'm on it, we're going shopping. Clara led them to a hardware store

where she bought a hammer for 15 cents. Okay, but that's a deal. Yeah, I know. I would take you to a hardware store too if shit was 15 cents. I know, I'd buy eight of those hammers. Apparently, she asked the clerk if he thought it was heavy enough to kill a woman. and the clerk thinking it was a joke said yes it is if you hit her hard enough with it

anything is possible if you believe what's that disney quote like dream it and believe it or whatever the fuck if you dream it believe it yeah exactly obviously that's what was happening so clara bought the hammer for 15 cents then they did what um you and i would do or any two pals would really do after a long day of shopping. They went to a speakeasy in Long Beach and had a good time drinking bathtub gin for the rest of the afternoon. You're right.

Clara was, okay, so as I said, Clara was like dragging Peggy all over town. So finally she's like, Peggy, get in the cab, and we're going back to L.A. And Claire's like, okay, but Peggy's like, but my husband lives here and I want to go see him. And she was like, too bad, we're going back to L.A. She was like, that friend, you know.

So she brought Peggy back to L.A. All right, I see what you're doing. I'm just kidding. So Clara brought Peggy back to L.A. And they incidentally ended up at 9th and Main Street outside the bank where Alberta worked. Which I looked up on Google Maps, and incidentally, it's now a Nike store. Just did! Good one, man.

He's full of one-liner, so love it. So, they're waiting outside this bank where she works, right? And they've had several bathtub gin drinks, which I can only imagine is quite a time. I bet you can relate. I mean. Listen, in the beginning, when we used to record until 5 in the morning, who knew what was going to happen?

Who knew, really? My parents are really worried about me. Okay. So finally after, okay, so they're waiting there for like an hour. They finally see Alberta leaving work and Clara walks up to her. Oh, and they've like met at like a Christmas party or something because her has been like worked with her. And she's like, oh man, it's so good to see you, Alberta. Could you give me and my friend Peggy a ride to my sister's house in Montecito Heights?

And Alberta's like, yeah, okay, I guess so. And so the two will hop into Alberta's car. and when they reached the end of Montecito Drive, which by the way, at that point was like a winding dirt road like surrounded by woods, which nowadays is like, that's not called Los Angeles. That's the exact opposite.

It's literally the exact opposite. But so they were like in this like forested area of Los Angeles. And she's like, hey, do you mind Alberta if we pull over and have a private chat? Yeah, drive into the city and we'll chat. Let's go to a coffee shop. And Alberta's like, okay, sure. So they got out of the car, and Clara asks Alberta, if her husband, Armour,

had paid for her new tires on her Ford car that they were driving in. And Alberta's like, no, I bought those tires. And Clara was like, well, what about that watch you're wearing? Who paid for that? And Alberta's like, I paid for that, and I can show you the receipt. and instead of being like, sure, show me, oh, thank you. Who did that? I love you. Thank you to my new friend.

Milkshake is coming next. No, I'm kidding. I'm kidding. Now I feel like it an asshole. Thank you. Cheap joke. Give him a round of applause for real. Thank you. Wow, that was so nice.

Thank you. That was so kind. Okay, whoa, this is going to make this a lot easier. Okay. Okay, so she's like, well, who paid for that watch? She's like, I can show you a receipt. And instead of saying, oh, yeah, why don't you show me a receipt, she pulls that 15-cent hammer out of her coat and fucking hits her in the forehead with it.

Like, really hard. Like, I feel like I said. Like hard enough that that hard man was. That hard guy was correct. He was like, I gave her advice, and she took it. I heard what I said, the hardware man. Not the hard man. Whoops.

You know, what's, can you, are you surprised? Nobody's surprised. So, she hits her right in the fucking forehead. Yikes. And I know it sounds like a 15-cent hammer. It doesn't seem. But she hit her right in the forehead. Got her good.

Got her good. And so Alberta is still. like conscious and starts running down the hill and Peggy who's like in the car this poor girl. With her new tires on her Ford. No, Alberta's Ford. Oh, damn. I thought someone was going like get her. Oh, I see what you're saying.

Peggy's in the backseat like I didn't sign up for this. You just showed up and we performed at the Pantages together. So Peggy's in the back seat and see Alberta running down the hill like covered in blood. So she decides to run in the opposite direction, which fair. But in the article I read that she kind of wrote,

she was like, well, I was looking for help, which also fair. But again, we're in fucking, like, mystical world, Los Angeles where there's no fucking houses for miles. Like, I don't know what world this is. But so she starts running. She can't find anybody who, like, lives in this part of town. So she kind of, like, turns and sees both of the women, like, running back up the hill toward her.

it's like it's ridiculous it's Alberta has like blood coming out of her head and Clara is running behind her so Clara this is this is really awful I don't even know how to tell this in a not awful way so I'm just going to say it in an awful way so Clara Clara catches up to Alberta and smashes her fucking head in with a hammer

until the hammer breaks and Alberta is dead and then, because that's not enough, she rolls a fucking 50-pound boulder onto her chest to be like, well, this way, she's really dead. Like, somehow has the fucking, like... How are you that strong? I don't know!

She just has the energy to roll a fucking 50-pound boulder onto her body and is like, okay. That'll do it. The Los Angeles Times article I read was like, when Peggy had finished vomiting on the side of the road. And I was like, oh, no! So when Peggy had finished vomiting on the side of the road, Clara told her to get back in the car.

She told Peggy that if she, I mean, this is like Mean Girls times 800,000. She's like, get in the car. She told Peggy that if she told anyone about this, even her own husband, she would kill her with a hammer too. So poor Peggy's like, also Peggy's like 22 or 23 and she's like, I don't know what to do. So she goes, Clara, like you're covered in blood. because Clara was drenched in blood and Clara says that's what she said and it's creepy

Clara literally goes get your handkerchief out and wipe my face off while she's driving the car that's some shit we'd make Eva do yeah Eva wipe this blood off my face she literally forced Peggy to wet the blood off her face and then was like give me your gloves because Peggy was wearing gloves and made her give her her gloves so her hands would be covered because she had blood on her hands and poor Peggy is like okay I guess and so then

Clara fucking drop Peggy off and drove Alberta's brand new Ford back to her own house leaving Alberta's body behind she got home she's still like covered in blood even though she's wearing Peggy's gloves and she throws her arms around her husband armor and she says

With her bloody hands that are hidden are wrapped around her husband right now? She's covered in blood. She's just crazy. So she's like, give me your gloves so my hands aren't bloody. And now she's hugging her husband? Yes. So she grabs her husband armor and she says, quote, Darling, I have killed the one you love most in this world.

Now I'm going to cook you the best supper you ever had. Okay. And what do you think it was? Was it his lover? No, but what do you think the supper was? Was it steak? I don't know it, I'm just wondering. I assumed, like, in a real...

I'm like fantasizing, like, what could it possibly? The classic answer would be like, oh, it's the body that she just killed. No, God, no. That's not, I would imagine, like... No, no, she literally was like, I will cookie your favorite fucking meal. Oh, she meant that part romantically? Yeah, she was like... I've done it.

I've killed you. I thought in the same deranged way. She's like, I killed her and now you're going to eat it. No? Okay. I need a therapist. Got it. If you need a minute to catch up, that's fine.

No, I'm there. Okay. No, she just was like, thought this was like the most romantic gesture of all time. Okay, well, I hope then she cooked him steak. Let's go with that because they didn't actually tell me and I was actually really annoyed because I looked at a lot of articles. And everyone was like, she cooked him the best meal ever. And I was like, well, why the fuck?

If it's the best meal ever, it's newsworthy. You should write about it. If you're going to know that, if you're going to know how much of her hands are covered in blood, you've got to tell me what she cooked. So apparently, she cooked him the best meal over. And then meanwhile, police obviously found the body of Alberta and said she was so mangled. It looked as though she had been attacked by a tiger. So later, when newspapers got this info, they gave Clara, Clara, the nickname, Tiger Woman.

Oh, no. So Armour, her husband, is like, oh, fuck. And he panics. And he tells Clara, you got to get out of here. So he drives her to Pomona. They abandoned Alberta's car. Then they return to L.A. and spend the night at a downtown hotel before Armour

then puts Clara on a train to Arizona. So he's like, goodbye, get out of here. I'll cover for you. Oh. Yeah, I know, right? I know what, I mean, she must have cooked a really good steak. That sounds like really the best dinner To just alter your mind

He's like uh-uh So a few hours later he's like Oh, what have I done? And then he's like I've made a big mistake Big mistake Good one am I love it I love it write that down Eva

So they They drive Okay they did drive to Pomona We already went there We're in Arizona now are in Arizona, sure. So they Ray, okay, so he goes to the police and he's like, my fucking wife murdered

someone and they were like, uh-oh, okay so they raided the train. That's what they said back then. Oh, okay. That's what I say too. Oh, okay. Oops. They raided the train and she was arrested and her child

created a sensation. People were literally sending like love letters and flowers and candy to herself because she was like a beautiful white rich lady and they were like oh wow you know she's like a rich white lady yeah she was like a media sensation and people were in love with her

but so here's a newspaper article that says convicted hammer slayer okay oh yeah she escapes I'm not allowed to tell you about that yet okay let's stay there listen I put the pictures in the order you told me to put the pictures

in I know I think I messed up the order It's fine. I mean, we just got a little sneaky. It's my fault. Okay, so people were sending letters and flowers, and she was smiling in all her photos, and people were, like, her husband was always with her, like, no, I support her to the end.

And then on the fucking stand, Clara had the gall to accuse Peggy. Remember Peggy? Of being the one to murder her friend, and she's like, no Peggy bought the hammer. And Peggy was the one who killed Alberta. Can you imagine how jaw dropped? How awful.

I know, poor, poor fucking Peggy is already like traumatized by watching this girl roll a boulder onto this other lady and then she's like, no, she did it. Poor Peggy. So poor Peggy is like, I really don't have anything to do with it. Now this, poor Peggy is right. Now this is interesting.

So there were, there's like a jury. The three women on the jury wanted to see her hang. Peggy? Yep, they, no, not Peggy, Peggy, Claire, Claire, I was like, what? So nobody believed her story about Peggy, sorry, yeah, no, no, everyone was like, you're so full of shit, so in the 1920s way that you say that. So the three women on the jury wanted to see her hang, but supposedly her smile had softened the hearts of the male jurors. She was just so sweet.

She batted her eyes. Yeah. yeah what an angel um so the women the female jurors compromised on second degree murder uh so she was tried and found guilty of second degree murder and a few days later i know i already kind of ruined this but she uh let me guess sawed her way out of her jail jail cell and escaped i know right apparently Not just a pretty face, guys. I know you all thought it, but she apparently sawed her way out of her jail cell, climbed to the roof, and jumped to another building, and then they found six hacksaws in her cell.

Apparently, apparently, the fact that she was, like, kind of wealthy and, like, white and pretty, like she had talked another, like a guard into kind of helping her with the escape, but still. I need a couple of hacksaws. Just six. I only need six. You're not getting in trouble? I'm not going to get in trouble. Just, just, I'll pay you later.

One hacksaw is not enough. So six hacksawes later, she fucking escapes, and she's on the lamb. So, hold that. Let me rearrange those. Okay. All right. Within four months after a newspaper reporter tipped authorities to her whereabouts,

Clara was found in Honduras Yeah, that's where she'd escaped to And she was brought back in handcuffs She was in jail for 12 years And wall behind bars These are some fun things she did Oh, I can't wait Do you want to know all the things she did in 12 years?

Oh, yeah, huh? Oh, yeah, here we go. One, she found religion. Wow. Two, she trained to be a dental technician. Three, she learned to play the saxophone. Four, she wrote and directed a play called A Satire of Stage Life. And five, she organized a seven-piece orchestra.

Wow. Thank you, Claire, for your contributions to the arts. A Renaissance woman, thank you, indeed. Oh, here we go. This is her missing on the lamb. Sorry. It's like all of a sudden, like, I was, like, the prepared one today. And all of a sudden, you're, like, doing my eighth grade reports.

It's only because that one headline I didn't realize said that she, She escaped and that ruined. I know, it was a snowball effect. It ruined the whole thing. I'm sorry. Oh, God, go away. You're not supposed to see that yet. This is so fun, isn't it?

Okay. Okay, guys, so she's, anyway, she's a dental technician who's, like, religious now and has an orchestra of or something. So she says in a 1931 jailhouse interview, and I quote, I don't know whether I killed Alberta Meadows or not, but if I did, I did it for Mother Love

I fought with Alberta on top of Montecito Drive to protect the only love I have ever known. I did what any mother in the world would do if she saw her baby being taken from her. What are you doing? This is a dramatic reading. Oh. Do you want me to hold that?

I don't know how to get this out. You just got to really want it, I think. There you go. Oh, Jesus. All right. Thank you. Armour El Phillips is my baby. Wait, what?

Her husband? Oh, okay. Yep. Armour Al Phillips is my baby. He has been my only baby. He is my very life. And when I realized he was being taken from me, I fought, fought, fought, fought.

So that I might always have him. I know this is like slam poetry. I fought, but, but. I fought, fought, fought. Hodge so that I might always have him forever. Now bow. Thank you. Thank you.

Thank you. Really even scared me, huh? Wow, that was a wild ride. I feel really weird about that. So she was released in 1935, so after only 12 years. And people in California were pissed off because she had been, basically she had been promised a guaranteed parole date because she agreed not to fight her extradition from Honduras. So they were like, okay, well, if you don't fight it, then we'll guarantee to parole you after

12 years. So nobody had a choice. She was paroled after only 12 years in 1935. And when she was released from prison, hundreds of people gathered and shouted Tiger Woman, Tiger Woman, which I don't know what that was supposed to like do. Support. I mean, it sounds like, I'm sure she loved it. I mean, at the end, at least paints a picture.

It paints a picture indeed. And it really plays into my end, and that's why we draw. So at least I can just... When in doubt. There's the silver lining. It took like 80 years. And it's just all for me. Okay, so...

Bav-bub-bub-bap. Shit. Okay. So she actually was supposed to be released earlier, believe it or not. but she had lost some time because she had been writing explicit love letters to a man named Thomas J. Price who was a young convict working as an electrician and she was writing him very sexual letters so they were like we're going to add years under your time oh I know

so she got out after 12 years anyway and moved to San Diego to care for her mother and three years later she and Armour her baby baby baby baby baby baby got divorced Oh. That was a good one. So that ended. Incidentally, Armour, her husband, while she was becoming a dental technician and all this fun stuff she did in jail,

he also had a lively time while she was in prison. So at various times, he faced charges for assaulted a Christmas party, traffic violations, grand theft auto, and running up. bogus film school hmm who does that remind you of what

bogus bogus film school in general I don't know I don't know what does it remind you of it doesn't oh that's a business school I was thinking of Trump I just thought phony school and I was like and then I totally neglected film so that is the story of Clara

crazy crazy Clara let's see if I can put this back in there you go anyway thank you guys so much for coming out to our third live show we love you so much it means so much that you're here and that's we we do you're