And That's Why We Drink - E474 Amelia Bedelia Math and Iced Tea Pranks

Episode Date: March 15, 2026

Episode 474 is here and we’re dreaming about being in a hotel in a booming gold rush town. This week Em takes us to Nevada for Part 1 of the haunted Goldfield Hotel, aka the first place Ghost Adventures ever investigated! Then Christine cracks open our second book, A Haunted Road Atlas: Next Stop, to cover the case of Robert Lee Yates aka the Grocery Bag Killer more in depth. And will someone tell our left eyes how to wake up properly? …and that’s why we drink!Check out the link here for ways to purchase A Haunted Road Atlas & AHRA: Next Stop! https://www.andthatswhywedrink.com/booksCatch our bonus Yappy Hour intermissions on Apple Podcasts: https://apple.co/3L28lDw or subscribe on Patreon: http://patreon.com/ATWWDPodcast!___________________Join Chime at https://chime.com/DRINK for fee-free banking and a chance to earn up to $350 with qualifying direct deposits.Get 40% off select Lola Blankets products at https://Lolablankets.com by using code DRINK at checkout. Experience the world’s #1 blanket with Lola Blankets.Go to https://hellofresh.com/drink10fm to get 10 free meals plus a free Zwilling Knife ($144.99 value) on your third box; offer valid for new subscribers while supplies last.Save 20% off Honeylove by going to https://honeylove.com/DRINK . #honeylovepodIt’s time to own tomorrow with Joyrise. Our listeners get 15% off your first order when you use code DRINK at https://joyrise.com Get $10 off your first month's subscription and free shipping at https://nutrafol.com with promo code DRINK. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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BetMGM operates pursuant to an operating agreement with Eye Gaming Ontario. You just said you hate ice. Well, I didn't mean it that way, but I certainly mean it that way. I was like, what a way to start the podcast. Wow. Hot take. Yeah. Everyone, don't cancel me.

I fucking hate ice. It's time I take a stand. It's time I have an opinion, finally on something. Imagine all the people. Ah! Help! I'm trapped. We've made it to March.

How are you? doing this fine third month. We are experiencing. I just barely know what day it is, what time it is. You said March and I went, well, not yet. And then I looked at the calendar and went, what the fuck happened? March. March.

Today, well, yesterday was March 1st. And sadly, I still know that as Justin Bieber's birthday. So happy birthday. And that was what I first saw the calendar. I went, oh, it's Justin's birthday. And I didn't even say Bieber. I just as if it was, I just my pal. Yeah.

So I hope he's doing well. It didn't get invited to the party, kind of pissed off. That's weird. Yeah, maybe it got a lot. Maybe the part of full invitation got lost in the mail. The carrier pigeon flew a different direction. That must have been it. M, what do you drink and why?

I saw you have a little bevy. Yeah, I'm disappointed. It's not my straw bloom. I've been really going with these days, but it's just my usual tea. Although the last few times you've seen me try this tea, I've had a real problem with the lack of flavor. And today they really brought the flavor. So it's going to be a good thing.

a stroblam, but a traditional problem you've had. That's exactly right. So I had that. Can I see it? Can you see it? Yeah. It's just tea. I don't know if it's going to blow your mind. Oh, okay. Okay. Okay. And then I also have a second one just in case. That's like it's scared from the other side of the screen. You imagine if I just accidentally, just if I just snuck it around the computer and it was just the same stuff. I got two. See? It's just the weirdest prank ever. I'm not even going to tell you if it's true or not. It's just for me. Wow. Honestly, I like it better that way. Let me live in the magic. Whoa. That was when you mirrored your screen. You were like, watch.

But yeah, so I just got my tea today. And anyway, what do you drink? What are you drinking today? Oh, I'm just drinking my water. Thank you for asking. This is my, and that's why I drink up Christine thirsty little rat water with Scrappy. Love it. And, you know, I hate ice too.

M. You're not the only one with a, with a, I thought I was finally original about something. Hot take. So I got my, my little devil sticker. Um, I want to address something,

which is that I got my eyebrows. And I want to address this. Because thank you so much. I have to say that I'm on video, we're on video. And I got them done on Friday. And she said, you know,

for the first like eight, days, they're going to look pretty crazy. And I was like, oh, good thing I won't be seeing anyone. And then we like immediately got on YouTube. And I went, oh, right. Right. That's there. Yeah. Or you're far away enough. I guess I can't see the craziness that she's referring to. Yeah, I just blow out the lighting and it looks awesome. No, no, no. I actually, I'm very happy with it. I got them microbladed. Do you know what that is? Yeah. I've never had that before. Um, how did that go? Was it painful? It looks a little too. Yeah. Like, Kind of. Yeah.

Like a little bit. It was, I mean, it was numbed so it wasn't bad, but it was like a tattoo. Right. I mean, it is a tattoo. So it's like you, and I think the freakiest part is like, you know, when you're at the dentist and you like hear it, but you don't feel it. So like you could hear like like slicing with a little blade. So that part was creepy. Crazy.

Crazy. But I got to say the before and after he's fucking nuts. Like I looked at it and I actually told her. By the way, shout out. Her name's honor. And she owns. Brow OTR in over the Ryan Cincinnati. And she did such a great job.

I was really nervous. I'd never gotten anything done in my eyebrows before. And then I was like, why not start with tattooing them? And she did a really like patient. It took like two and a half hours. It was just a really weirdly relaxing and calming. And yeah, she was great. But she looked at them and she's like, that face.

And I was like, you're such a, she's just a delight. So if you're, if you're nervous or you want to get your eyebrows down, I would recommend it. I'm going to lean forward. But so these are like now on there for a long time. Like I think a year question mark, six months to a year. I don't know. But you just have to get like touchups done and you don't have to do anything.

But now for once my brows are even. So I'm going to look forward. Congratulations. Thank you so much. And so this is my year of, no, keep it up. No, I'm kidding. This is my year. This is my year of trying to feel like.

me again, I'm hibernating a little bit, but I'm also like, I just want to feel comfortable in my body, you know, so I'm trying some things. I just want to get my eyebrows done, you know, and like maybe get a haircut. We'll see. So how does it, do you still like to like tweez them? Yeah or no? Or like, so how'd that work? Nope. How does that work? So I, the, the eyebrows I already had are basically like in there. Oh, so she just basically did like a whole outline around the Yes, precisely. The parts you would tweez. Okay.

Precisely. So you just colored it in. So there's no strays. Right. And you kind of draw, and you draw in the little hairs and stuff, which is how it looks kind of like hair, but it's not. I see. I see. And it was really like, I kind of did it on a whim because I knew otherwise I'd never do it.

And I was like, I don't do, like, I don't really usually, it's not that I have a problem with it. I just never, I'm a very anxious person. Like, I barely go get my nails done because I get anxious. So it's like, but it was an undertaking. And I'm very, very thankful. And I want to also shout out. So Honor was like, oh, I've been on YouTube. My sister and I did a YouTube channel.

And I'm like, oh, interesting. And she shows me some of the videos. And I'm like, it's so weird. Like her sister looks so familiar. And then she opens. She goes, yeah, it's a children's channel. This is our biggest, this is one of our biggest videos. And she opens it.

And I go, I know this video. Leona and I watch five little ducks, this exact one all the time. And that was her sister. So fun little synchronicity. but the YouTube channel is called Pip and Pals, and they make really awesome little kids videos. So I wanted to give that a shout out because she said it's just been a kind of a grueling process

getting that off the ground. And I'm just really happy with the work of it. I feel a lot more confident, you know? Nice. I feel like more me. You like Mablest, darling. Thank you so much. And they'll fade like 30%, is what I was going to say.

Sorry. Like they fade a little bit. because they're a little like... And then you have to do it again? Well, so they put a lot on because 30% of it comes off in the first like week or so or two weeks. I see. A couple weeks. And so then it'll like look more natural right now.

It's a little intense if you know. My grandma got her eyebrows like tattooed on, but like like a permanent like a tattooed. Like the old school. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Like I think like laser hair removal and then tattooed. So she just never had to think about it. ever again. Yeah. I mean, it's, it's genius. If that is what works for you, man, like, do it, you know? Like, why wake up every day and her eyeliner tattooed on her. Oh, yeah.

She was like, why ever think about this again? She's, like, when I get to heaven, I'm going to be looking fine, no matter what happens in the next couple years. Yeah, no, I, uh, I, I don't see a downside to any permanent work getting done. just to just to free yourself from the mental labor. Yes, and the labor of having to, you know, when your camera flips and you're like, is that what I look like? You know, like when you rotate it, like my eyebrows would always go, won't and I'd go,

whoa, is that how everyone sees me? And so it was just this constant thought in my mind. And now I feel like I've gotten them a little evened. But yeah, I don't have, I've never had an opinion on your eyebrows that would scare you. I've never had like a, oh, wow, Christine in her eyebrows. But I have that, I know what you're talking about when I have that with my eye, because I have one squinty eye. Yes, me too. I have, it's very stupid, but only one of my eyelids is hooded and the other one is not. Yeah, remember we discuss this? Because I said it runs my family on one side and you should check to see if your other

family members have the same, like, do they? Did we talk about this? I think we did. Yeah. All I know is every time the camera flips, one of my eyes looks like it's like three inches lower on the rest of my face to me. And I'm just like, what the fuck is going on? And it's funny because I like, I obviously do not notice that ever. But I think I feel like I always like tilt my head one way and I'm like maybe that makes my eyes look even. I don't know. But anyway, it makes you look a little more like a dog in my opinion. Yeah, I don't know what's going on there.

But I, I certainly if I had to change one thing about my face, it would be like my eyes don't look. I as I know everyone's with looking at my face right now. I was probably looking at my eyes. But to me, they look so different. Especially when I just wake up, it's like my eyes like refuse to open. I get the sleepy eye on one side and it's like,

wake up. This eye literally takes two more minutes to open than this eye. Like when I wake up. That's my left too. It's like really aggravating. When I wake up and I'm like checking my phone, this eyes always closed. It always needs another minute.

And I think that's actually why my eyebrows were kind of fucked up too because I like my muscles of my eyebrows are like yeah I think gravity just like holding this one down I don't know what's going on but oh my god eyebrow workout well anyway I uh I appreciate you sharing your journey with us thank you and and I feel like I've commented before like oh people are rude about my eyebrows nobody's really been that rude someone said I have brow blindness but like I have to agree right like it was like I needed to be said what is It's like when you like don't see like you do too much on your face or whatever and you don't even recognize like, oh, silly you look. And it's hard because like it's kind of the, it's that same idea with the flipping the mirror where you're like, oh shit, I didn't notice.

I'm so used to it. I didn't notice like this one was way heavier or whatever. And so someone said like, girl, you've got brow blindness. And a few people commented. And nobody was ever really like mean about it. But it just kind of was at a certain point where I was like, I just want to like feel. I don't know. I don't try it.

Sure. Wonderful. You look great. Thank you. I appreciate it. I feel more put together, you know? More polished. Good, good.

I don't know what I need to update on myself currently, but I'll figure it out along the way. Is the tea bad? What? Is a tea bad or you're just saying you're disappointed? It's not a strawblum. Sorry, your tea. Huh? Your iced tea.

Sorry, your iced tea. I went off a different. I derailed literally. I was going to say, like five minutes. in the past. My train car went this way and I crashed into a tree and I wanted to know if you liked yourself to you or not. I do like it.

I don't know what's missing about it. I think I've drink it too many times and now like I think I've, I think I've, what's the word? Like my hyperfixation meal is slowly starting to decline. Like, you know, when you can feel the love fading when you like were obsessed or something for a little bit? Yeah. What is that called?

That's called. That's a, there's a name for that. diminishing returns. Sure. That's what I'm experiencing currently with this. I learned that in microeconomics, by the way. You're literally so smart.

Like, go to Harvard. I literally got a C in that class, so I'm not that smart. Well, I don't know if you've seen recently, but I've been buying myself math workbooks for fun. Yeah, what's that about? I'm actually... It's no different than like getting like a...

Huh? Then a what? then like a puzzle book like being like Sudoku or something it's like easy math problems you literally said you're going to hate yourself because you can't do it and at least I can do a puzzle book usually well I guess that's fair I um it isn't like fun the math is it is fun um but it's the I'm finding out that it's the instructions that always would stress me out I didn't know as a kid what was so why I was so bad at math and like what the situation was and I'm realizing and it's that I would always take the instructions to literally because I'm doing it even right now as a 30 year old. Like I I wonder if that's my thing. Because I take instructions very literally too. And that's something I've always, I've recently noticed.

Yeah. I'm fascinated now. Tell me more. Like the math itself is like very easy. But the instructions are like throwing me way the fuck off and I don't know why. And then like someone else will read the instructions and they're like, just do this. And I'm like, how did you know to do that? I feel like Amelia fucking Medelia.

I'm like just so. Yeah. That's how I always felt doing math and I always ended up in tears. It always was like a fight. One time my pre-calc, no, pre-algebra book went out the window into the side yard and got rained on and I had to pay for like a new textbook because my mom threw it out the window. Like I hated math and that was fifth grade too. Yeah, I think or sixth grade. Anyway, I'm proud of you.

That's awesome. So wait. Okay. So my question was, why did you do that and CPR? Are you like learning life skills or something or is this just like for fun? Like they just happen to be two skills you're learning. Okay, okay. I didn't know if there was like a bigger picture like you're preparing for something,

like a math or something, you know. I'd love that. No, I'm just trying to be in a class every day of the week. So I'm just in like a bunch of classes. Every day of the week? What other class? Can I ask what classes you're taking? Yeah, they're all almost over now because I've been doing them since like November,

I think or December or something. Oh my God. you must be so educated now. I don't know about that. The math one isn't like a class. You didn't take microeconomics? No, it's literally fourth grade math. But I just bought that for fun.

That's not like a class. But I was doing CPR in first aid, and I have another, I have one more class in that. Then I have, on Sundays I go to line dancing, gay line dancing. So everyone look out on that. On Mondays, I'm on a dodgy. ball team on Tuesday I do ASL on Wednesday I do guitar on Thursday. Jesus.

What are you a literal fifth grader? I feel like you're like yeah, extracurriculars are off the charts. I know, I know. Yeah, I'm just doing a bunch of stuff. Just try to like leave the house for more than just to like go to the dark park. So, um, good for you. Yeah. So anyway, I've,

what's your favorite? Probably ASL. That's the easiest for me. Oh, I love it. Yeah, I took a couple of classes, but I've always wanted to learn it. I'm in like a, I don't know if I would call it an intensive one, but it's for the next like several months. Whoa. And our teacher is actually deaf, which is very helpful.

It's a very immersive experience. But no, that's been, it's been nice. And then on days where I don't have activities, I have standing gates. I have like three standing gates every week with people to like go do something. Oh, fun. Yeah, just trying to keep my brain stretchy and be outside. And then I have like weekly goals. Like I at least once a week I have to ride my bike.

I have to go play bingo or trivia in town. I have to go to the local diner. Oh, my gosh. You're such a social butterfly. I'm trying. I have made a shocking amount of friends, though, which is very nice. I was going to say, I feel like that's probably the best part is you're meeting all these people probably. Yeah.

It's gotten a little actually overwhelming. because I don't know. I wanted to make friends, and I did. And now I'm like, okay, everyone back up. Well, now you've got to cut back some extracurriculars. Listen, like, you're going to have to cut them back to make room for all your plans now. I know. Well, then I'm forcing all these friends to also do the classes with me so that way we can,

I can kill two birds with one stone. Oh, right. That's actually way smarter. Yeah, so I have friends in line dancing and I have friends in ASL and I have friends in guitar. Oh, I see. Okay. It's a whole thing. I can't wait for you to have a birthday party and I want to be like,

Oh, how do you know, M? Oh, from, like, line dancing. Oh, how do you know, M? Oh, from our coding class. Oh, how do you know, M? Oh, from our fifth grade math. It's so funny. He said coding class. I literally just signed up for a coding class last night. I knew that was going to be on the list. I just, listen. I would have guessed ASL coding, like some sort of, like, weird sport, like, axe throwing or, like, um,

archery. My friend. Shooting. Archery. Yes. Yes. Because Doddfall ends in two more weeks, I think. And I'm trying to make it a thing where, like, I'm always in something.

I'm trying to, I'm trying to just move my body more, not for like any particular reason, but just because I'm 30. Yeah, I mean, it's good. Yeah. Or in my 30s. But so I'm just trying to move more. So I was like, I guess I'll do dodgeball. And very fun.

I got to play with the USA team in dodgeball. What? Isn't it so fun? Jeez. I know. I guess there's technically not an Olympic team, but there's a U.S. USA team, but then they're also playing, I think, in the LA Olympics coming up. I'm kind of confused about how it goes. But there's one girl on the team who's known as like the best

thrower in the country, like the best. Oh my God. And I did not catch a ball from her, but I did block a ball from her. Did it hurt? Um, a little bit. She literally, she looked. She threw it like, she throws like, like those cannon balls. What's like Miss Trenchable do? Oh my God. Yeah. Yeah. Not a javelin, but the ball one. Yeah. Shot put. Yeah.

And this is a foam ball. She threw it at like 100,000 miles an hour. But I did block it, which was very fun. If I didn't, my head would have fallen off, I think. But I got to play with them and I got to play against them. So I can say both, which is fun. Anyway. That's actually cool.

Yeah. I guess I drink because I've just been run around. You've been adding to your potentials, your list of potential answers for two truths and a lie. Yeah, and my weekly trivia, of course. Right, and that too, right, fair point. Yeah, there's a bingo hallout here that plays every Tuesday, and it's like a lot of seniors go. I don't think they really care for me being there.

I think it was like a senior's specific thing. They're intense. They're really intense. And I kind of have gotten a bunch of people at the dog park to all come with me to these things. And so now I think they don't like that the youths are. there, you know. Ah, you're like taken over, yeah. Yeah.

Sorry about that, but I want that cash price too. So anyway, that's why I drink. We talked a lot about my calendar, I guess. Sorry, everybody. But anyway, I got a story for you. Bring it on. I know I'm in the 1% but for people like you, I feel like I say in my dirty house.

And my stained sweatshirt. We're very happy to be sponsored by Chime. They are changing the way people bank, fee-free, smarter banking built for you, not like old school banks. I know we've all been there. Well, maybe not if you're youthful and young, but at least in my day, you'd have to pay an arm and a leg to use an ATM. You'd have to go into the bank.

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It takes just a few minutes to sign up. Head to chime.com slash drink. That's chime. com slash drink. Hey, you know what? Actually, that yawn really segues this nicely into what I have to say to you, Christine. I, as much as I want to be here, I got it to be honest. I want to be somewhere else right now.

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Ooh. Okay, this is a two-parter, and I don't know if I will elaborate on that. I think you have to find out next week why it's a two-parter. Oh, my gosh. Okay, okay. Depends on if you piss me off. Let's see.

Okay, challenge accepted. So this is the, I don't know what my fucking deal is. I'm not trying to do this. Everybody, I'm sure people's eyes are just going to roll into the back of their head when I say this. But apparently every story I cover these days is a gold rush mining location. Listen, I think I'm just putting those vibes in the air because it is my favorite genre,

I think. It's that cowboy Wild West like gold rush era. I just love it. I'm like, I'm actively trying to find different locations and then I'll be like, oh, here's a story I haven't covered. And then it goes back during the booming town of this gold mine. I'm like, oh my God. Well, it's great.

Okay. Well, here's the thing. My favorite number, as we all know, is 49, which is the year the gold rush started, which is why the 49ers are, I don't know. I'm just, like, really tied into this cold rush thing for some reason. So, I mean, I appreciate it. Okay? I don't know about anyone else.

I appreciate your enthusiasm. Hang on. You know, frankly, everyone else can go, fuck off. Thank you. You said that very intensely. intensely. Look how my palms literally burst into sweat when I said that. No,

I was going to say, I'm just drenched all of a sudden. You looked really like good with it with your eyebrows and everything. Like you were like, Oh, thanks. I need some practice to like stay in my body when I do that and not just go, cool, that didn't feel nice. I'm leaving.

Well, no, you killed it. So, um, okay, we're in 1902. And, uh, by the way, we're also in Nevada. I said 1949. I met 1849, I think, is what I said when I said 49ers. I'm not trying to say that Gold Rush was in 1949. Okay. Sorry. You said it to me and I didn't even notice. So we're in Nevada, not Nevada, right? Nevada. Yes. You're right. And we're in 1902 and the discovery of gold has led to the very, very quickly developed booming town of Goldfield, Nevada. Clever. And by the way, the title of this is the Goldfield Hotel.

Okay. I love a, you know, I love a hotel. So just another reason why this is repetitive because another hotel. I love it. A booming gold town. That's where I want to be, though. So gold seekers. What's that?

Oh, that's just where I want to be in a booming, in a gold, in a hotel in a booming gold rush town. That's where I want to be. I also want that, but also like with San Francisco. You know? Well, yeah. Yeah, I want that like... And like clean water. I want that like as a vibe, not as my life.

I see. I want to go to a themed hotel today. I think we did that. Which one was that? Congress Hotel. Congress. Yeah. I don't know if that was pretty.

I don't know the difference which team on the note. I think that was more just like this is old. I think it was like they just haven't changed anything in a hundred years. Yeah. I guess that's different. But I, yeah, no, I want to feel like I'm a cowboy, but I want to also have air conditioning. So there's like the real, please, it's got a- Not a sweaty cowboy. As much as I want to be a time traveler, I really have to, you know, reconcile with the fact that most places would be uncomfortable, wise.

So maybe time travel isn't for me, folks. So, okay, nice note-to- Whoa. That's quite a little. I'll change my mind tomorrow. Don't worry. Yeah, okay. I didn't mean it. So the gold seekers moved in very quickly. I mean, Taylor's oldest time at this point,

they found golds. Now a hotel needs to be built because everyone's there. But this town became literally booming way, way, way, way, way too quick. Within five years, the population went from like basically nobody to 30,000 people.

Like it was... Oh, Jesus. Big old town all of a sudden. And obviously, a need for a hotel came around, and it was designed. designed by this guy, George Holesworth, where fun fact, he designed multiple hotels throughout Nevada, and all of them are now weirdly on all of the Nevada most haunted lists. Oh, okay. He had something going there.

He did. There's something really spooky, ukey about him. Weird. So he built this hotel. He built it on what was the original site of like Nevada's first hotel, I guess. But then it burnt down at some point in the 1800. So fun fact, gold-filled hotels. He was like, mine now. Yeah. So like every other story, folks, I'm so sorry to do this to you again.

But this hotel was, quote, one of the most luxurious hotels west of the Mississippi. And it had all these elaborate amenities. And I don't know, at some point, I have to imagine that none of the bathroom. It had air conditioning. It actually did have heated steam. So we're in one direction. We've grown somewhere. Okay.

It had electricity, which, you know, I would have really appreciated. It had. in the lobby alone it had crystal chandeliers, leather furniture, and gold leaf ceilings. Ooh. Oh my. It was four stories. The entire hotel cost $300,000 to build, which today would be $11 million. Yikes.

Oy. That's a lot. Which I don't even know what a cheap hotel would cost today. I feel like that... Then I'm like, how much is a hotel building to make? I mean, that's probably many millions of dollars, right? And the property is fine more. I feel like even the worst, the worst crappiest motel still costs like a money.

right? I do too. Is 11 really that big of a deal? Many more than that. Yeah, probably not. Yeah, what the fuck? Who cares? I don't know anymore.

So, allegedly the hotel allegedly the hotel connected to the red light district through a bunch of underground tunnels in the hotel, although I'm unsure of that. It sounds like there's two camps historically where some people are like,

oh, there were underground tunnels here and they all led to the, you know, Red Light District. There's another camp that says, oh, they do, there are underground tunnels, but they didn't exist until many years later when the Red Light District was kind of dying down.

So I don't know. I don't know. Everyone had a different opinion on all of my sources. So, um, but it was very, very swanky here. They literally had chefs from Europe come move in, uh, to cook at the hotel.

The hotel had one of the very first Otis elevators in the country. And then this has to not be real. This cannot be real. But a lot of sources I read said that it's rumored that during opening day, there was a literal champagne waterfall going over the front steps. Like, just like it was the most like great Gatsby party where it was just pouring down alcohol because everyone's so much fun.

Well, maybe they made that thing where they put all the glasses out and then more champagne so everyone can take a glass, you know. I've always wanted to see one of those in real. life, but not touch it because I'm like, I'll touch the one glass where everything Jenga falls. And it's just shattered charts of glass everywhere. And it's going to be a disaster. And you don't even drink alcohol.

So it would even be worth it. Yeah, exactly. No thanks. But to see it would be an experience. I would love to take a picture of one in real time and be like, I can check this off my list. Agreed. But that's as far as I need to go.

And also apparently at the same party, President Teddy Roosevelt was there. So he had a blast, it sounds like. Nice. Shortly after the hotel opened, the hotel was then sold to a guy named George Wingfield. And this George guy was one of the most powerful men in the entire state. By 30, and this was in the 1900s. By 30, he was a multimillionaire. By the way, $1 million then was $36 million today, over $36 million today.

Oh, so he's like $11 million hotel, please. Yeah, he's like, I'll just, that's for breakfast. But if he was a multi-millionaire by then, that means he probably had at least $75 million today. Jesus Christ, dude. He owned most of the banks, mines and ranches and goldfield. He owned, I think, more banks in Nevada than anybody else did in the state. And he had his hands in everything.

He found ways to make his businesses continue to grow no matter what the business was. There's actually a former employee of his, I think it was an assistant of his, that was quoted saying George was not a mayor but he was more than the mayor he was kind of like a governor you might call it he had banks he had prostitutes and these prostitutes

would look for the miners where the gold he the prostitutes would learn from the miners where the gold mine was and the next day they would tell George where he could buy stock so he was also like using sex workers he had like a whole ring of oh my god

okay this is like a TV show yeah he had Ozark or some shit. Sex workers that were like double agents basically like getting intel from him so that that way he could have even more business later. Right, right, right, right, right. This is nothing like Ozark. I've seen Ozark.

I don't know why I'm saying. It's just like Ozark. It's like a show like that in my head. I believe you. I've also never seen it. So as far as you're telling me, you're right. It's exactly like Ozark. Shot for shot.

It is. That's right. So of course, all of his other purchases, with all of his other purchases, George built the Goldfield Hotel as soon as he could. He, or he bought it as soon as he could. Sorry, because he got sold to him. But like all of his other banks and like all his other ranches and everything, he saw this as just a delicious little opportunity,

swiped it up. And he bought it, I think, for what would be like $15 or $20 million today. Oh, wow. Okay. So it was worth 11 and then he paid, he went over price, like almost double. Maybe it had like proven. its value, you know. I mean, when you got champagne coming out of the floor and the richest guys there, he's going

to be like, I need this. When the floor is going to be sticky for the rest of eternity because you dump champagne all over it. That is such an excellent point. I cannot imagine the cleaning staff. Yes, thank you. And like, they didn't have. How nightmare.

They didn't have Fabuloso back then. I'm just going to say that. They had river water to clean it up. I'm done. They had a, they had river water, please. I mean, like, they also, there was carpet in there. Like, how are you cleaning this? Oh.

I can't even talk about it. It makes me want to throw up. I can't imagine. Let's stop talking about it. Besides being so successful. I think time traveling isn't for us. What's that? I think time traveling isn't for us.

I think you're right because the second I imagine myself in any other location, about 10 problems arise. And I'm like, uh, yeah. Immediate. Yeah. I think I can't do it. I think I want you so bad. And for all we know, I am the world's first time.

traveler just doesn't happen in this timeline yet you know but could be god i really want it to be true but i also there it would be one of those things where i take a long drag of a cigarette after every travel and i'd go down was rough too you know like what i don't know what i thought would happen it's it's it's not much but it's honest work um um besides being so successful george wingfield was known to also be um evil so he regularly oh oh regularly cheated on his wife. One of the women that he spent most of his time, he was evil in other reasons,

but especially in his marriage, she seemed to be incredibly unpaidful. And one of the women he spent most of his time with was this woman named Elizabeth, who, according to different sources, she may or may not have been a sex worker, and that's how they met, or he might have just been hooking up with her

at his own hotel. I don't know. But she eventually became pregnant. And that's where the sources are like, oh, well, maybe because she's a sex worker and it could have been anyone's baby, but it's also, like, guaranteed to be George's baby. So it sounds like she wasn't sleeping with anyone else. Um, yeah. So assuming it's George's baby. I mean, George assumed it was his

fucking baby. And well, especially if he's like, if he has like millions and millions of dollars, like he can afford to keep her somewhere and like pretty woman style, even if she is a sex worker, right? Yeah. I don't think that precludes them having a relationship. Yeah, exactly. Like a, like a monogamous relationship. Exactly. Well, George was terrified. that it was going to get out that he was cheating on his wife and had got another girl pregnant. I love when they realized that a little too late. He's like, what do you mean? I don't want anyone to know.

Well, apparently in the hotel, there's one room, room 109. And that is where he started having Elizabeth stay while she was pregnant. And it very quickly turned into kind of a hostage, definitely a hostage situation. Oh, no. Where it sounds like originally he was like, oh, let's just go stay here. No, don't go home. Let me just take care of you. You all have all the people like cater.

And then when she started kind of getting, I guess, mouthy about like, I have to go home. Like, I want to see my family. Eventually he changed her to a radiator. Yikes. In that room for the whole pregnancy. And it said that he gave her just enough food and water to keep her alive until the baby was born. This story. Jesus.

I am curious. I mean, I guess if you have enough money, you can pay off probably anybody. But I do wonder, like, the staff had to know what was going on. Well, anyway, we don't get any information. I mean, maybe that's who reported this eventually. Sure, yeah, yeah. What happened? And also, I'm just going to use previous experience.

Let's say that because given so many goddamn stories about gold mine hotels, I'm assuming there's also some nefarious acts going on here and he could have had. had guards or something. He could have found someone to help him out. Yeah. Anyway, she's chained to the radiator in that room. And once she gave birth, Wainfield allegedly had her strangled and then brought down through those tunnels to the mines and threw her down an abandoned shaft along with the baby. Why didn't he just kill them then?

Great. Why did he have to make her give? I mean, like not that I'm saying either. is good, obviously, but, like, why even, like, keep her hostage and then wait for her to give birth and then, like, it's just so strange. Like, why not just kill her? You're, and the baby. Like, I mean, you're a thousand percent. Killing her would kill the baby, right? Like, if she's pregnant. It's just so weird to me. Like, why would you? Yeah. No, you're asking questions that, um, every single source I've been looking at has been asking as well. Because it's like, okay, gotcha.

We're all aware that, like, this seems like not the world's best planning in terms of crime. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Especially like, yeah, because then you also could have just killed till the day you found out she was pregnant. And then- Exactly. It doesn't make it easier for you. Yeah. Anyway, Christine, you were onto something. So we don't know, by the way, if this story even really happened. That's just the rumor of what happened at this location.

It's like the big famous story here. But there is an argument that in the 80s, the hotel owner was trying to like engage interest in the host. hotel and ended up saying a bunch of stories about what happened here. And we don't know if this is one of those stories or if this predates her. We don't know. But it has it is a notorious. People treat it like it's real. Like all the other ones that people are kind of wishy-washy about, but this one seems to be pretty solidified in town.

Okay. Okay. Others say if this really did happen, then karma followed him pretty quickly because in 1932, most of his banks collapsed all at once, nearly destroyed. the entire state's economy. Yikes. So he was hated all over again for different reasons. That was a great depression. Yeah. Yeah. So I guess the karma hit everybody. Whoopsies. Yeah. In 1910, this is only eight years into my story, by the way. Eight years into this gold rush. Remember, very quickly, it went from nobody living there to 30,000 people. Eight years later, the mines were

coming up pretty empty. People started leaving. And the town of Goldfield was immediately suffering. and the population went down to only 5,000 people. So that's like 80% of people left within eight years of it even existing. Jesus. Basically 100% of people showed up, 80% of them left before 10 years hit in this town. So by 1920, the population was at 1,500. I think today it's at like 400. And then a fire destroyed a lot of what was left in the town.

and there was only 1,500 people there, so then even more people left. And the hotel basically stayed around until 1945, but it was in such a dilapidated area that it became a cheap motel through World War II. And then after 1945, the hotel was abandoned. And in the 80s, when this one woman picked it up, it was also added to the National Register of Historic Places,

and it was then purchased through the years by multiple people who all had the same plan to restore this hotel to its big grandeur, but every single time it's failed. And to this day, it's literally in a ghost town. Like, it's like what you imagine a ghost town. Like I'm kind of confused. If someone lives near this area, can you write in?

I want to look it up. Is this, like, is this like a tourist attraction because it's a ghost town? Or do people just walk through this area? of town and act like it's a normal part of your town. Because it looks literally like, like a, like pioneer town in California, if you've been there, or like, Bodie. Like it looks abandoned.

The whole town looks fucking abandoned. And I can't tell this is just like a little. The hotel? Goldfield Hotel. And next to it is like a high school, but the high school is like literally like beyond abandoned for the last 50 years. Like it looks like no one's ever. It looks like a movie set.

It looks like a movie set. Weird. Oh my God. It's very creepy. Creepy. So do people... I mean, it says people still live there, but I'm like, do you just live amongst the record? I don't know.

I don't know how else to put it, but what's going on over there, everybody? They have a Tesla cyber truck tour available. That's the opposite of what I thought you were... That's so... It was jarring already. That really just, like, black mirror. it. So weird.

This black mirror, yeah. A few years ago, the building was on sale again, and unfortunately, because the town keeps getting disappointed with people promising it's going to be restored. The town has very little faith that it will ever get back to its initial glory. Aw. But what did save the hotel from being, this is, oh, this is where, I need you to read between the lines and see why maybe you're going to go to part two. what did save the hotel from being completely obsolete, completely destroyed,

was that in 2004 something very important to you and me happened. Zach Began decided that he was going to try his hand at a documentary. And it was called the original Ghost Adventures. Do you know about this? I don't. You will. So in 2004, before Ghost Avengers was ever a TV show, much like Catfish on MTV,

I was about to say this is like Knieve from Catfish vibes of like making a documentary into a TV show. It started as one documentary with him and Nick and Aaron. I had no idea. And because he lives in Nevada, I guess he knew about this town. And so he decided that he was going to

investigate the Goldfield Hotel. And when that documentary came out, it brought so much interest from other paranormal enthusiasts that now the hotel in its own way has had its own research. of tourists purely because they want to keep investigating this building. So it is still abandoned and not a hotel, but it is a building that people like to explore. And in some ways, that's, in some ways, people are very excited that there's interest in the town,

but the building keeps like getting vandalized and investigated by people who like aren't being professional or respectful. Right. They're not like taking care of it. Right. So it's kind of, it's a half and half, a give and take that like, at least people now really care about this hotel, but not in the way that they used to. So as for the ghosts, not including the documentary, that is ghost adventures. The main ghost in this building is in room 109. It is Elizabeth. Maybe still stuck in that room.

People hear a woman crying in this room. They hear a baby crying in the mine shafts. Oh, my God. No, no, that's horrid. People say that they also hear crying uncontrollably in this room. And when that happens, it starts getting colder and colder. And no matter what you do, you cannot get the room warm. No.

In this room, cameras won't work. They will totally malfunction. Or if you take any pictures at all, they'll all come out weirdly blurry. Some people have gotten pictures of like weird shadows in the room when nothing is there. people have even seen Elizabeth here in a white dress she does not engage with people so hopefully that means that this is just residual and not like she's stuck there people also hear metal clanging in here

that's very similar to the sound of chains against a radiator yikes oh so that's it for Elizabeth people also have encountered George windfield hair people smell cigar smoke through the building and often find this is crazy they smell cigar smoke through the building and find literal piles of hot ashes on the floor as if he just walked by while smoking. Like hot piles of ashes, not like, oh, someone was smoking here three weeks ago.

That is so weird. Like, so he has an endless tobacco stash on the other side. And also this building is never catching on fire, even though it's like just rubble. Crazy. That's so weird. People sense a dark presence by the stairs. Some have seen a dark shadow standing there and they assume that it's. George, because who else is a dark entity here or has dark energy.

There's also prankster ghosts here that, um, allegedly it's like two or three little kids who run around and they sneak up on you and tap your back. And when you turn around, they vanish and you hear children laughing. Yuck. Yuck. Yuck.

Um, also poltergeist activity is reported in these parts of the hotel. Hopefully it's the kids and not something more malevolent, but. Please. Please. It sounds like things are getting moved around and thrown and, and, all that with and it's always accompanied by laughter i i really hope they're just laughing because they're having fun and not because like it's those little hooligans let's just tell ourselves that you're totally right i have to i have to um do i must there is a ghost there that i know

there is no context but he is called the stabber and he maybe was so alarming i don't like that he he may be a former dining room employee because he holds a large knife that's the fucking reason not like he's a bad guy with a knife just oh he's his staff um then why do we call him also could be something much more sense sure because he holds a fucking large knife and he's known to linger in the gold room which I guess was the original

dining hall but um he's also said to run at you and try to stab you. But like people will see a, see a guy run at them with a knife, try to stab them. And in the last moment, he will disappear, like right before he makes contact with you. And then they're like, oh, he must work in the kitchen. Like. Right. Really?

You don't think he's like just a serial killer? Okay, sure. Yeah. Like if I were, can you imagine if someone's just like holding you a gunpoint and you're like, oh, that's just the dog? It's like, what? He must be the butler. Yeah.

Well, so that's the stabber. So good luck if you're ever there. Nobody seems to have made contact with him. Like I watched a bunch of like ghost hunting YouTube videos and things like that. Nobody's ever. I don't know where the stab erin. Stab Aaron now. Stab Aaron.

Okay. I can't wait to eventually not today talk about that documentary because Zach was still fucking normal because it was like he didn't have a, brand yet. He didn't have his like affect. He was he I mean he was still like there were parts where he was still like a bit of a douche but he was also a 27 year old man but he was a 27 year old and he had frosted tips. It's hilarious. Oh, 2004. But he was just like and he had no muscles. He was just like a scryly little man who just wanted to go see a ghost. We just got sued. We finally got sued. That's what did it. He had no muscle. Aaron had a full head of hair.

It's very crazy. It's very crazy to look at. Okay, enough of that. So the, as for the other ghost stuff, footsteps, voices, knocks, shadow figures darting around, figures appear watching you from the windows.

There was a shadow of a man leaning against one of the walls in the hallway, and if you approach him, apparently he'll vanish, my favorite type of ghost. there are people who smell perfume. There's people who've gotten shoved, especially by the stairs. There are apparitions in the old elevator.

To try preserving it, like the hotel, the town has hosted tours there every now and then, but the locals refuse to be in the building alone or after dark because they have all had some sort of experience. And a lot of psychics have come in and claimed that this building's a portal. two spirits said to be former hotel guests are also in this building and we don't know a lot about them except that they were two staff members

who at separate times died by suicide but there's a woman who worked here who I guess hanged herself and now people see the spirit of a woman with burns on her neck there's also a man who jumped off the roof at one point and he's also seen walking through the hotel

both are said to just wander the halls, but then there was one source that said if you look at either of them in the eye, they'll scream at you. No, no, no, no, no. It's a firm no for me. And then this is very, very sad. There might be a third employee, or I don't even know about employee, but a third person there who died by suicide because in 2017, a man drove to this hotel, did die by suicide,

and he left a note saying that he wanted to be the next ghost to haunt the hotel. So. In 2017. Oh my God. What the fuck? So there could be terrible. Three people instead of three ghosts instead of two that kind of fall into that category. But I haven't heard of anyone seeing him. But apparently that is something that happened.

So, thanks. Jesus. That's dark. Yes, it is. Is that the first time we've had? Sorry, there is a lag. And I feel like it's making my commentary seem like. very abrupt and I'm sorry.

You're good. But I, have we ever had a hotel where somebody, or even any place where somebody planned to be a ghost there? I don't think so. I think that's the first time. I think that's a first. I think, yeah, I'm shocked that we have firsts anymore. Same. But yeah, no, it is, it's odd that there's, and it feels so modern because it's 2017.

It's like that it feels a little too real. But yeah. Yeah, but as a first, I think. So I did watch a few TV shows and a few YouTube episodes of people going here. The ghost hunters went here, not ghost adventures, Taps went here. Funny enough, the owner at the time, who did not believe in ghosts, he actually asked Taps to come to the hotel on its 100th anniversary to see if Taps could find anything. and they did see shadows moving at the end of the hallway

and they got some pretty creepy EVPs of something saying get out and where did the bitch go. Yikes. Oh! Later they also had, I guess, all the male investigators left and it was just a female investigator left. And she said, okay, well, all the boys are gone. It's just us now.

And she got a female voice saying, Can we go home? That's where the bitch went. that's what the bitch went um i mean well later on when she was alone she got female voices speaking to her one of them said can we go home now which like i love that she's like thank god that those men are fucking gone can we please get out of her i'm so sick of them um i love that in life and death women are just like oh finally um so a weird feeling, there's a weird feeling by the elevator that they have, um, that Taps has. And then they find out, after they had this weird feeling, they find out historically that I guess a man was allegedly thrown to his death exactly where they were standing. Oh. Um, yuck. And then an owner in the 1980s claimed to hear rattling in the basement. So when he went down there near the elevator shaft to see

what was rattling, he found human fucking remains. Oh, my God. this, however, could have been, again, the same owner in the 1980s who started all the other rumors. We are not sure, but anyway. So the tours were once offered. I don't think the tours exist anymore, or if they do, it's like an annual special that the town puts on. But Goldfield as a whole is the spooky ghost town, and there's many other spirits there. So in a lot of the YouTube videos I saw, even I think in the original Ghost Adventures documentary, they weren't going for just the hotel.

They were trying to see all of Goldfield. which helped because some of the videos were like two hours long and I only had to watch a chunk and I was like thank God but there were many YouTube videos of people going here my favorite was I just want to give them a shout out a YouTube show called Ghost Club Paranormal and they had a lot of direct responses from the spirit box they one investigator saw a person walk through a wall while she was there they talked to a little girl named Olivia who literally through the spirit box said, I'm only seven, what happened to me? And then when they turned the flashlights off, she said, I like the lights.

No. I don't know her story, but a lot of people have said that there's a little girl that runs around there. So I guess the people who own the building have just named her Olivia. And there's also a, they say non-human. I guess they're afraid to say the word demonic in the house. And so they just say a non-human entity is in the basement that happens to scare. Olivia. I guess they found that out through investigations. And

once this non-human thing was mentioned, the spirit box said, I scare people, run now. No. Someone who actually, well, I won't even say that part yet. I'll wait until next week. But once

in the base, once this Ghost Club paranormal, once they were in the basement, the spirit box said, I can scare you. They mean you harm. And then I assume talking about the equipment they got the spirit box asking about the lights they said can you move the location look to the right

join us and then moments later they heard one of their names bit get said and then they heard scurrying towards them and then they checked the obelisk and it said the investigators literally this is the crazy crazy part because they

heard one of their names was Mandy they heard the name Mandy and then scurrying and then looked at the ovalus and Mandy was exactly what had just been said. No. Horrifying. Horrifying. They also would feel things next to them

and the spirit box would say standing beside you. They brought balloons and lights for Olivia and she was very interactive. On a recorder, the EVP, they got EVPs of a voice responding to them, but mimicking their voice and that's happened with a few,

that happened with a few investigators where they would be talking and then they would play the digital recorder back. and it would sound like they continued speaking after that. No. It sounded like their fucking voice, but the last half of the sentence was not them.

It was somebody else pretending to be them. That's happened at the Sally House to some, remember those investigators? It wasn't, it wasn't Scott and Forrest and it wasn't people with the blinds and all that because those were crazy too. But the one that I'm thinking of is where they heard a person in their group like ask a question, I think,

on the recording, but then they were like, wait, she wasn't even in the room or like she wasn't, there was something very clearly where like you could see on the video or whatever that she wasn't speaking. But like on the recording, she like asked a question that nobody heard in the moment, which is like, what the fucking hell? And in these recorders, there was at least two or three teams I saw where this happened. And they're like they were the clearest EVPs I'd ever heard in my life.

It sounded as clear as me talking to you right now. But imagine, like, you'd then find out I'm not actually speaking. It's a ghost mimicking. Oh, my good. Oh, it was horrific. So, anyway, and then, of course, Ghost Adventures has been there, but I'm not going to talk about that today. Listen, I was going to say, we should do a whole commentary on that. And then I was like, wait a minute.

Wait a minute, silly goose. We just might. So we just might. Oh, my God. Remember when we got our Halloween live stream shut down because we were watching Ghost Adventures? Yeah, our day. And I was like, oh, well, restarting out. Now what do we do?

And we were like, why isn't it working? And then it was like, you have been copyright, like, band or whatever. And we were like, oh, I see, I see. Yeah. Good times. Horrible, horrible, horrible stuff. And also horrible of Patreon to shut us down like that. That was crazy.

No, that was YouTube. I was still mad because we were streaming through YouTube. And YouTube could be like, you are not allowed to do this. And I was like, fuck off. my apologies, Patreon. It was somebody, and I remember being mad in the moment. I didn't care who it was. I was just like, I just want to watch Ghost Adventures.

They're all in the fault. Anyway, that is part one of the Goldfield Hotel. Would you go there? Yeah. Would you go there? I'm a little creeped out. Oh. I think I'm creeped out about the thing in the basement.

Oh, duh. I think the second a place has a basement, it's certainly the last place I want to be in that house. I think I just don't like non-heaval. human. I certainly don't. And the fact that even the people who own it are scared to say demonic. They don't want to. Yeah, I don't like that gives me like, don't ask, don't tell vibes. Yeah. There's actually just a gay down there, just judging you. He's just still in the closet. Okay. Leave him alone. No, but it was, and I really, I, I don't know if anyone, we have no connection to them, but Ghost Club paranormal, if you ever want to watch a YouTube series, they were lovely. Yeah.

And I do. So I will be. Glose Club. And I always do GCP. GCP paranormal. Yep. And then you can watch Pipp and Pals when you're scared and you need a little kids show to. Exactly right.

What's it called? Sorry, Ghost Club paranormal. All right. I'm just going to type that in here so I don't forget. Ghost clip art. Sure, that works too. Wow. Good job, M.

Thank you. Where nowadays are you sourcing your stories? Because I feel like I really like. I really like. like them. I feel like you've been doing some fun ones from the Wild West and Gold Rush, but yeah, I don't, I usually I just type in a location like I, I typed in like France. I was like most haunted locations in France. Oh, interesting. Biggest paranormal cases in France. I just pick a location. Yeah. And then I don't know why Nevada, that when I didn't look up Nevada. That one stumbled.

Maybe that was a slid across my desk. Oh yeah, yeah. That's how I always say it. I'm like, it would Because I don't fucking know how I found most of my stories. So most of them, like, I tried to look up. Some of them are really hard because I want to do more international stories. But can somebody also please write below if you know how to do this? There are some places I want to cover things. And every source is in a totally different language. And I, the translation is too choppy when I, you know what I mean?

I mean, you can just use there are like plugins like, do you use Chrome? Yeah. There are like lots of Chrome plug-ins. like translation plugins and stuff if you ever want to. I mean, I, I'm not trying to like not cover other stories, but some of them have been really hard to find, I'm just like, I can't do it. So I would love to add a French class to your weekly rotation of extra courses. I'm already trying to become bilingual.

I don't know about tri-lingual just yet. Oh my God. Maybe we'll podcast in sign language. I'm getting, like, shockingly good at sign language. I, like, I was just telling Allison, I was like, I didn't realize how quickly I would start saying like full sentences in ASL and everything. How cool is that? I know.

Yeah. So is Al taking that too? Mm-mm. No, I, she just got back and I've been taking it for a while. Oh, gotcha. Okay. Okay.

Because Blaze and I wanted to take it for years and I'm like, we could have a secret language, not secret language, a secret language in front of like my parents or like Leona. No, it's a, yeah, that would be useful. And then Leona would figure it out in five seconds, I'm sure. Immediately learn it. Yeah, correct. No, I've just, I always wanted to do it.

And then every person I said it to, they're like, oh, I've always wanted to do it. And then I was like, well, come with me. And now it's like a whole class where, like, half the people are people I just shoved into the room with me. I love that everyone's taking it with you. That's nice. Yeah. Yeah. Anyway, tell me a horrible story, please.

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To it. Back to it. I think so, too. I'm going to read you a story that I'm going to say I'm going to read you a chapter but that's not quite how it's going because I actually well what happened was I wrote about this guy Robert Lee Yates the grocery bag killer in our second book. I've been working on notes for like two different stories that have been taking me a very long time and they're driving me nuts and so this week I thought I'm going to go back and research something I've already researched which is the grocery bag killer. I do not know how I've not covered this on the podcast because I know I say this a lot, but it is one of those where I'm like, I swear I've told this before. Like I swear I've told this before.

So if you recognize it, tell me. Yeah. And so I've looked it up every which way on the website. I can't find it. I even looked up like other podcasts we've been on to see if I brought it to another show. I just cannot figure out. But maybe I just remember writing it, which, wow, I was a shock. I mean, I've had that before where I was like, I know I've covered.

covered this and it was like, no, I just covered it in the book. Yeah, I researched it and covered it in writing. Yeah, exactly. So that could be what's happening. But if you recognize it, please tell me. And I apologize if anyone's familiar, but it's, it's a crazy story. And because it was in the book, it was pretty short. So I went back and did like a full research on it to find stuff that, you know, hadn't been mentioned in the book. But yeah, so shout out to that. This is the story of Robert Lee Yates, the grocery bag killer. And this is our Spokane, in our Spokane chapter. of book two. So Yates was born. Oh, and I'm also going to add, there were only two in this one, little asides from the two of us. Oh, okay. But I also like, I need you to have a couple more aside because I think there were parts in the book where we didn't know what to say.

And then I took, I found an old version of the, of my chapters where I had actually written an aside and then we removed it because it was like, not funny. It was like distasteful a little bit or like it just felt like, a little off. And so like going through, I'm like, man, I, we, I think this was when we really struggled to like add any sort of, um, certainly yours were the harder ones to have a sides for because like, even if we're just talking, at least like something gets brought up that like we can we can do a callback. Like I spill a drink and it's like, oh, now we can talk about that or like geo geobarks or like, yeah, exactly. When it's just dry text, it's like, oh, how do I, what do I say?

You're looking every word like something funny better come to me. any moment. So we'll see what we come up with today. Excellent. Let's go. This is the story of Robert Lee Yates. He was born in Spokane in 1952. Of course, had a traumatic family history.

So his grandmother had actually murdered his grandfather. And this was like a very much intergenerational story and also intergenerational trauma in the family. his grandmother had murdered his grandfather with an axe. Oh my. Jesus. And it was, yeah, very bloody, very, very dramatic. And this psychologist who was interviewed said that he believed this told a story, like began a story for Robert Leyates to be fearful of women in a way of like they have what you want,

but they're very dangerous. Sure, sure. Don't trust grandma. Yeah. Yeah, don't trust grandma. This is one of the spots where I'm like, we should have put an, we should have put an aside because it's just a weird quote. Women, he learned women are very dangerous.

They have what you want, but they're very dangerous people. I mean, it sounds like a Trump quote. Like, I don't even know what does. It barely makes sense. But apparently I wrote it in the book. He did great. Thank you. A forensic psychologist, the same one, actually also said in many ways, Yates's relationship

with his father, though, was completely normal. So there was that. Okay. And I mentioned that because usually it's thought that even one positive role model is sufficient to stop people from getting, as this psychiatrist said, seriously psychologically disturbed. So basically he's saying, usually if someone has a healthy relationship with at least one parent, they're like prevented from becoming like deeply psychologically traumatized or disturbed. But that is not the case here because this fella is deeply disturbed, whether he liked his dad or not, you know. So the stats did not work in his favor. Yeah, one time.

He's the exception to the rule. Yeah. So, yikes. At age six, there's a little bit more trauma that gets discussed briefly, and we don't know much about it, but it is worth mentioning because we are discussing how somebody becomes like this. At age six, Yates experienced a traumatic event when he was allegedly sexually assaulted by a neighbor boy.

And he never reported this to police or even his family. it's only like later years that we hear about this. So we don't really have any details. But if one can imagine that would definitely add to to the psychiatrically disturbed element of this guy. Oh, yeah. So we fast forward to 1975. Yates is 23 years old and he's hired as a corrections officer at the Washington State Penitentiary. And those who knew him thought he was a good guy, like a family man.

I mean, in the book, I even called him a pillar of the community. community. So you know what that means. I know what that means. They consider him an introvert. He spent a lot of time alone. He liked to be outside. He was just like a normal dude. In July 1975, he was doing one of his nice outdoorsy hikes, which people thought he just did to kind of clear his head and get a breath of fresh air. So he's out in the woods. He comes across two young college students having a picnic. And this is July. of 75. He's 23 years old. For some reason, seemingly an inexplicable rage takes over and he decides they have to die right now. So this is the like this is just out of it just hits them. This is the just hits him. Okay. Yeah. Isn't that weird? There's a lot of like questions surrounding the psychology of this, you know, and a lot of theories. He decides in that moment they just have to die. Like he just sees them. And some people theorize like maybe so it was a young. man and a young woman and they were college students and they were lifelong friends and they were

having a picnic and some people are like maybe he was enraged that like there was a couple a seemingly like a couple in front of him like maybe he was nobody knows maybe he was planning this for in his head for years and he was waiting for the right opportunity sure maybe she said something that made her made him feel like women aren't safe or something totally could be totally could be like something triggered and he doesn't even tell us what it is. So, he decides they have to die. And without further deliberation, he just walks right up to them and shoots them both in the head. Whoa, okay. Just like executed some right there at their picnic. So like also like like like publicly like he's like not afraid of they're in the woods. So it's kind of out out there like in Washington like kind of way

out there. But it's not it's it's in public. I mean it's outside. Yeah. It's like in public. You know, like I don't think he would. would know whether or not. Like you, like he has to wonder did anyone hear that, that shot? Well, you know what? He did also oftentimes go, uh, target shooting like target practice in the woods. So maybe he was already shooting his, you know, target practice. And then somehow these people disturbed his piece. They pissed him off. They just existed. And there's finally two people in the woods when he has a gun. Exactly. So we don't really know, but I don't think those shots themselves would have startled anyone because he was already out there kind of oftentimes doing target practice.

But yeah, he he shoots them in cold blood. Then he callously dumps their bodies by the water. He puts, he like puts them in this really humiliating, degrading pose. Like he puts her on top of him, you know, and like tries to make it like look kind of more vile. And he he dumps trash all over them to cover their bodies. Geez. It's just really starts very heavy. It's been suggested that Yates had secretly fantasized about doing something like this. And like you said, the opportunity presented itself and he just went for it. That's the only thing that kind of makes sense. In 1977, two years after his first murder, Yates enlisted as an army pilot. During his 18-year tenure in the armed forces, a disturbing pattern emerged. And wouldn't you know it, everywhere he went, everywhere he was stationed with the army, sex work. workers were being found murdered in increasing numbers. Wouldn't you know it?

Wouldn't you know it? Despite this climbing body count, Yates managed to avoid being linked to the crimes. You know, they weren't collecting necessarily DNA evidence. It was also the fact that he's moving around. Also the fact that their sex workers gets, you know, it's not maybe taken as seriously by law enforcement, especially back then. in April 1996 he is now 44 years old and a father of five children he's married has five kids and got away with that got away with all of them got away with these and more yes do we know

like by now um and you said in the 90s do you know how many there were that he's gotten away with Well, no, because we have about 15, I believe, confirmed victims. Okay. Wow. And it's theorized that there are more that we would just never be able to link or just don't know. Okay. Which is, I mean, if you think about like he murders two people, I mean, yeah, there is that cooling off period. There's like that period in between oftentimes for serial killers.

But still, like, who knows if he killed someone else in that time period and just dispose of them? in those two years, you know, I mean, especially if he's moving around. There's just no way to know. But 15 he was convicted of. So we do know that for sure. But it is believed that there are more than that. So he's now father of five. And the daughters, I remember watching an interview with them at one point as well with two of the daughters, Amber and Michelle, who are, of course, now adults.

And they are like, of course, deeply distressed by how this all happened. You know, their dad really was just like their dad, right? Like they talked a pillar of the community, exactly. They talked about a time where their dad got home and they were sitting in the van heading somewhere. And the one daughter, Michelle, turns around. She's in the middle row of seats in the minivan. And she's like, what is that stain? And it was blood, just a huge blood stain.

And her dad said, oh, oh, oh, I actually had to transport it to the vet. So that's what happened. And he told his kids he couldn't get all the blood out. And Michelle remembers just how, like, sickly the smell was and how strong and pungent the smell was. And they said the stain just stayed there. Like, it never went anywhere. And so, like, just having to, like, look back on your own childhood and be like, how much

of that was my dad literally, yeah, raping and murdering people or murdering people and putting them in the car. And it is it's a I don't know what the sombering reminder that I guess like if someone could do this they could then just go pick their kids up and be driving in a van with them right afterwards. Because you would you would hope you would hope if someone killed me

they would then spend the rest of their life in total complete panic wondering if they're going to get caught tomorrow. Like I would be a nervous beyond fucking wreck but the fact that someone can just like go get ice cream with their kids while covered in my blood. Like that's... And just be like, oh, it's dog blood. And then he's like, oh, by the way, the dog survived.

It's like, fuck you. You know. Yeah. Yeah. Like, you... It's really rough. And to have the daughters, like, have to reckon with that is just terrible. Mm-hmm.

So, like I said, he's now 44. The years, 1996. He has five kids. In April, Yates resigned from the army and returned to Spokane, which was very odd because he was only 18 months away from retiring with a full military pension and with a wife and five kids. It's like, why would you leave 18 months before you're 44? Like, why would you leave this great career? And looking back, investigators believe that his abrupt decision to leave the military was due to a murder that went kind of sideways that he committed during this time. Got cocky and it got messy. Is that what we're saying?

So what happened is that this is a little bit of, uh, of, theorizing and like we're not 100% sure but it has been theorized that uh he had picked up a sex worker outside fort rucker and this 19 year old uh sex worker was transgender and it's theorized that he discovered this unknowingly and either became enraged or just killed the person without without the usual like kind of cool cool headness that he did this with But either way, yeah, just kind of lost his shit and fell out of control and immediately dropped out of it. This is the theory because the timeline adds up, but he basically drops out of the military and they move back to Spokane. They're just, he's just like out of there with his whole family.

So after leaving the military, they go to Spokane and he, of course, continues his murder spree. It's believed that he killed two people in the area between 1995 and 1996, but these cases remain unproven. What we do know is that Yates seemed to consider sex workers the easiest targets. In 1997, he joined the Army National Guard with aspirations of becoming a helicopter pilot. And to make ends meet in the meantime, he took on a menial job at a factory. When he wasn't working, he would frequent this area called East Sprague, which is also called the track. And it's where a lot of sex workers and, you know, just kind of the, you know, just kind of the, the sort of strip of the town where people would hang out and do illicit activities.

So we have sex work. We have drugs. We have that kind of stuff. So Yates actually, not only did he just go pick women up as victims, he actually like ingratiated himself into the community. So he would befriend these groups of people and they would talk about this guy running around murdering women and he'd be like, I know, isn't that scary? like it's just sick you know he's like playing along and it's it's he he made them trust him you know

yeah that's i mean i i i just my same comment from earlier just it's horrifying that he can just be so cool-headed about this like you said yeah yeah so after inviting the women into his car which was a white corvette that he was very proud of uh okay he would yeah that comes back don't worry the Corvette becomes its own character in the show. He would solicit sex from them, at which point they presumably didn't know that they were in danger. Of course.

Afterward, he would just shoot them, like in point blank range without any fanfare. There's just something about it. He felt like that was... I wonder if it was like, was he ashamed and just getting rid of evidence that he had done this? No, we don't know. it almost feels more like he's getting something he wants and then like executing them as a power move.

Do you know what I mean? Sure. I still hate it. Well, really, I think it's awesome. No, yeah, I know. I know. No, I don't know. I don't know.

He's a conundrum. I'm surprised that there's not more of like a fanfare to it or like a, I don't know why. I think I'm just used to like, oh, and now I'm going to hold you hostage or now I'm going to do this or now I'm good. I think it's just that's how storytelling usually ends up, like, especially on like crime shows, SVU criminal minds. Like it's always like much more. And these people do shit like that. So it's not, I'm not saying it's like more dramatic than real life. I think just like some these people are just like cold blooded.

Like they don't care about anything but just actually. Yeah. Yeah. Certainly cold blooded. Because I, um, I can't. Not that I wish that he tortured them, but I feel like they're usually. there's an element of like a mind game to it after the fact or oh will you survive but he was really just like I'm done with you click I wonder if the mind game wasn't about that victim I wonder if it was more

just like the general like look at me getting away with this and I can just keep doing it and living a double life and getting having five kids and a corvette and a job and a bloody minivan I don't know yeah okay that's a good point I don't know I don't this is one of those where you're just like maybe it's that maybe it's this maybe he thought this it's just unclear No wonder we had trouble putting blurbs into the story. I know. It's maddening. And like the Corvette is the only thing that ended up really being like the it factor for us. Sure. I were like whatever is the least, the most removed from the horrors. Yeah. Exactly. Exactly. Exactly. So he would solicit sex from them, then execute them. And he would then type a plastic grocery bag over the woman's head. And that. that's why he's often called the grocery back killer.

Was it to keep things clean? Is that why? Yes. I was going to say it was not for like sadistic reasons. It wasn't like he's suffocating them. It's not like, you know, they're already dead. So it's not like he's doing it to hot so he doesn't have to look at their face. It really is just to keep his Corvette clean. So disgusting. I know. So I was very excited. I received a surprise package and it was the Joyrise Alcohol

Metabolizing Aid. this was a new product for me, but Blaze saw it on the counter and went, oh, you got those. And I was like, how do you know about this? And he was like, oh, I've seen that online. I've wanted to try that. Basically, it's a very cool product. It's easy to use. You can just keep it like in your, I put some in my handbag. I put some in my medicine cabinet. And it's one step. It's one step solution. After drinks, no complicated protocol, you can take them on the go, especially good for travel. You take it after you've been drinking before bed. and then the next morning you're like, wait a minute, me? Yeah, I'm going to the gym. Don't even worry about it. Waking up on time? Who could tell? Hang on. What's going on here? What happened? I mean, if these were

around during your bachelor party, they would have been in the goodie bags. I know. I'm mad. I'm mad. I'm they didn't exist. Well, it's time to own tomorrow with Joy Rise. Our listeners get 15% off your first order when you use the code drink at JoyRise.com. That's 15% off your first order at J-O-I-E-O-I-E. r-i-se dot com promo code drink at checkout. In the summer of 97, Yates picked up 20-year-old Heather Hernandez and brutally shot her in the head with a 22-calibur handgun before disposing of her body on the side of the road just with no, just like total lack of remorse, like she was just trash. The same year, he picked up 16-year-old Jennifer Joseph, who had moved to Spokane only a month earlier. he left her in a field just carelessly dumped like trash and you know one note too is like people not meant i mean maybe back then more so but people ask like well why are they still doing

it's like they have to they're desperate they're trying to survive what the fuck do you think like they're doing it for fun they're doing sex work for fun i mean good on you if you are but like not all if these people are terrified for their lives and there's a serial killer running around i mean they can't just like stop going to work right right right right Right. But you still have bills too. Exactly. And children and food and, ah, sorry. And there was a lot of drug use, right? Like heavy drug dependency. I mean, it's just like you get into these cycles and it's just terrible that they were so desperate. And then he just knew that he could keep it up, you know, despite their terror. So he picked up 16 year old Jennifer Joseph and also left her carelessly dumped like trash in a field.

In 1998, investigators finally received a crucial lead. because someone mentioned having spotted Jennifer getting into a white corvette before she was killed. Oh, okay. Soon after Yates in his white corvette was pulled over for speeding. You see, if you're going to be a murderer, you better fucking also never do petty crime. Like, why get caught up? Like, you're just, it just feels, it feels like if you think, again, this just proves that he must be, there must be something wrong in the head

because I would be such a nervous wreck I'd be like there's no way anyone's ever catching me doing anything because I'm terrified that at any moment it's all over. It's interesting you say that because they pulled him over and instead of ending the story there with his arrest like something out of a movie, the officer actually wrote Camero instead of Corvette

on the police report and Yates was able to move on with his day. Dumb luck. dumb luck so annoying in august 1998 and so it's unclear apparently the officer wrote c a m and then it was translated to someone else as being a camero and that's how it was put in the system is what i've heard but they were supposed to be on the lookout for a corvette and it didn't even cross they even cross their desk because they accidentally wrote camero this is where

i say in police training academy there better be a class where you you have to memorize every goddamn car. Yeah, right? Like, how would you even? I wouldn't know. I'd be like, I don't know she's like white and cute, you know, like I'd be like, what do you, she's old. I don't know, you know. I think that probably that information is also written like on, you know. Yeah, like, in the right light, she's like a really pretty green. But otherwise I like really don't care for it. I'm glad you're not in police academy. It's giving like legally blonde. But the police version. Yes, it is.

In August 1998, sex worker Christine Smith hopped into Yates' car around 1 a.m. and jokingly asked him, you're not the psycho killer, are you? Yates put her at ease explaining that he had five kids at home and would never do something like that. As she performed oral sex on this guy, she felt a glancing pain to her head. And she thought she had been stabbed, so she made a run for it and got three stitches when she made it to get some medical care. And she was she, was it stabbed? She had been stabbed.

Well, it wasn't until early 2000 that an x-ray for another injury revealed that she had bullet fragments in her head. She got fucking shot and didn't know and then survived forever. Got fucking shot and didn't know and then survived forever. How did that? There was a whole bullet in her head. Mm-hmm. Fragments of it anyway.

I don't understand gun science enough to know what that. she grazed? Like, did it, did it jam? Like, what does that fucking mean? I think she just felt this pain, this pressure, went to the hospital, said, this guy stabbed me. They saw the laceration and just thought, okay, we'll stitch it up for you. Really? Like, I think it just happened to be in a way that it didn't cause lasting damage. Well, like, is her skull, like, made of steel? How did it only go, like, you know, like, how did the bullet, like, I don't understand. Not that it's, you don't have to, educate me. I mean, I assume like however you get a laceration from stabbing like a cut. Maybe it was like that same. I don't know. I don't know. I don't

know. She's fucking lucky. I'll tell you that. I tell you what. Oh my God. She didn't realize for two years that she had been shot in the head until she got an X-ray and they were like, hey, sweetie, there's a bull in your head. And she's like what? She would win every like two truths and a lie for sure. Truly though. Truly though. She realized she had at this point, she realized, oh my God, I wasn't stabbed. I was shot in the head by the grocery back killer. And I'm just now realizing it. So just terribly traumatic.

By the time 1999 rolled around, though, almost three decades had passed since Yates' first known murder. He's been on, he's been doing this for three decades without getting caught. And he's even been pulled over in his corvette and still has not been caught. At this point, he has at least 13 victims to his name, most of whom were vulnerable young women. So whether he was just like getting way too cocky like you suggested or some people like claim that maybe there's this psychology of like wanting to get caught or just getting too close to the sun, whatever it is, he started getting sloppy. When a plastic bag found over one of the victim's heads revealed a fingerprint, they quickly got in the system and realized this is a guy named Robert Lee Yates. It's that guy with the Camaro. It's that guy with the Camaro.

So they bring him in for questioning. At this point, Yates is 47, and he couldn't account for his whereabouts on key dates, resulting in some suspicion from officers. Police knew they had their guy when during questioning they mentioned a white Camaro, and Yates responded, it's not a Camaro. It's a Corvette. I was literally about to make that joke when I... Okay. Well, and also, like, this is how... This is where...

M's aside was all yeah really really okay what was my aside wait what are you going to say I want to know I want to know it won't match for sure it probably not the same but I was I was just going to say like literally all he had to do was like shut the fuck up and like interesting let me read you your aside am aside sometimes the best thing you can do for yourself is to just shut the fuck up okay so you're like you're literally All you had to do was not be a cocky piece of shit and like just let them get the information wrong and not be so proud about your shitty car. Just shut the fuck up.

Exactly. Just shut the fuck up and you'll be fine. You could have gone away with it. And they were like, oh, a corvette you say. Stupid. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. So of course they submit the vehicle for forensic testing and they're finally able to link Yates to the crimes.

I mean, you think that they have a big blood stain in the minivan. Of course his corvette's going to have DNA in it, you know. So they're able to match him. Threads from his car actually matched these threads, fibers that they had found on Jennifer Joseph's body, the 16-year-old. They also found in his car a small mother-of-pearl button that matched Jennifer's cardigan or her sweater.

So he was keeping little trophies? No, it had actually just fallen off. Oh, okay. And he hadn't found it. And so it was like rolled underneath a seat. Okay. Yeah, yeah. Just getting sloppy, you know?

I guess so. They knew she'd been in that vehicle prior to her death. And of course, the real kicker came when they tested the blood and revealed a DNA match to Jennifer's blood. He was finally arrested on April 17, 2000, and a search of his home yielded evidence linking him to multiple murders. His DNA was matched to several victims between 96 and 98. And he was charged with a total of 13 murders along with the attempted murder of Christine Smith, the witness who had escaped his grasp. In October 2000, he surprised everyone by pleading. guilty to all counts.

And because of this, he avoided a trial and the death penalty. He did receive a life sentence without the possibility of parole, which totaled 408 years behind bars. Holy shit. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. In 2002, Yates was convicted of two additional murders, which is how we get to that 15 number. Because of these two, oh, I want to, I missed a whole section here.

in exchange for his plea, by the way, before we get to the two additional murders, he didn't get the death penalty in exchange for the plea, but he had to agree to reveal the location of his victim, Melody Murfin, because the police and her family had been desperate to find her. So the police had struck out, and finally, when he made this plea deal, he said, I'll show you where she is. So they follow him, and he leads them to her burial site outside his bedroom window in his backyard.

Oh, that's a rough one. What the fuck? Like where he and his wife would sleep there and he buried her underneath the window. That's a toughie. Yeah. That's gross. In 2002, Yates was convicted of two additional murders and now he received the death penalty. Like he didn't when he made the plea agreement and then they found two more murders and they're like, well, now you do.

So when they found those other two, he had to be like, oh. Damn it. Fuck. Yeah. 100%. 100%. However, they did abolish. Washington State abolished the death penalty in 2023 officially, and so his death sentence was commuted

to life in prison without the possibility of parole. In 2013, Yates's attorneys filed a habeas corpus petition in federal district court stating that actually he's mentally ill because, well, yeah, could have told you that first of all. Second of all, they said he suffers from a type of severe paraphylic disorder. And a paraphylic is like a sexual deviancy or like a, you know, a compulsion. called necrophilia. Oh, does he. Yeah, again, could have pinned that one out.

Yeah, like not shocking. Thank you. It's like this whole, the investigation could have been an email situation. Truly. But yes, they claim that this necrophilia predisposed, which none of his own fault, by the way, of course, because he can't control what diseases he has. They said that this disorder predisposes him to commit murder. Okay. Okay. It's considered a long shot that this will go anywhere. I can understand why. And apparently, the Pierce County prosecutor Mark Lindquist said, I don't think Mr. Yates helps his cause by relying on the fact that he's a necrophiliac. So I think we're okay. He's not really going to go anywhere. Yates is suspected of having taken many more lives than the 15 he was convicted of. But today, he serves his time in the Washington State Penitentiary, which is a suspect.

ironically, if you'll recall, the same facility where he once worked as a prison guard. Yeah. Wouldn't you know it? The irony. As you know, I watch a lot of, um, to catch a predator. That's right. I do know that about you. And the amount of people who are COs or work in the prison system in some way, they're like

extra terrified about getting arrested because now they're going to get put in with all the people they've been watching. And they, yeah. That's, it's like. A lot. And to catch a predator, like, you're a, you're gonna, you're, you know what you're in for. They don't treat those people too well in the prison system. Especially if on top of that, you also were like their correctional officer.

So I think they, for their safety, I think they get sent to a different prison than the one they were working at. But. Right, right, right. Not this guy. Not that guy. I'm going to send you a picture of what June and Per is doing right now. Sorry. It's like so distracting. He's a nuts. actually I'll just show you like this he's just

oh no I see baby G though that's part of the problem he's just harassing the dog he's just poking him in the head that Hank had a a dose of doggy catnip oh how is that

just rolling around like a tumbleweed just like a tumbleweed just rolling around you know the cats love that shit man He, I think he felt, um, I think he was neutral to it. I couldn't really tell where the craziness was, where it was responsible. Um, oh, look at little juniper. Just like rolling around like a tumbleweed and just like snacking Gio in the head. Oh, just a, Gio just wants to be left the hell alone.

He's just trying to sleep. That's a cute puppy though. I love that little puppy. I love this. He is a fluffy puppy. Oh, well, that's a great way to end it. We really should have always just ended on. have a puppy corner.

Yeah. I know. Well, thanks for letting me relive that with different commentary. Oh, you're so welcome, except the same commentary when you said it again. Yeah. There was a little redemption, though. I feel like I got a few more words in there this time. Oh, hell.

Yeah. And I feel like, even though that's like a shorter one, I feel like, I feel like it's a, I'm just still surprised I haven't covered it. Like, you haven't heard it, right? Like audio wise. Okay. And I mean, I literally had to read your cases so I could put asides in. And I don't. Okay.

I don't really remember. You could cover all 50 or whatever states we covered. I wouldn't remember. Yeah. Yeah. I think that's probably fair to say about both of us. Yeah. Which feels insensitive, but everyone, please remember, we've been like over 500 cases.

I can't remember all of them. It's one of those things where you get into and you're like, oh, yeah, I remember this. But it's like they all start to get blurred together when you're researching them. yeah especially when all 500 have one thing in common it's that people are dying it's like it's traumatic and terrible but also i cannot organize them in my head to know every single one separately right no no oh yeah well good telling it christine for a second time thank you so much you're welcome maybe someday i'll finish the other notes i'm working on because they're a doozy dude i feel the same way there's an alien one i keep trying to do for you and it's just so annoying to be honest i feel like half the

half the story will be me complaining about how annoying it is. I can't wait. I can't wait. When I get there. Okay. Well, what are you up to for the rest of the day? Listen, what a day is today? Monday?

Oh my God, we never record on a Monday. I don't know. I'm going to drink my deep peppy and chill. What are you up to? What do I have? I have a standing friend date that I got to go to. Oh, nice. And I've got the dog park and I've got Dodgeball.

Jesus. Okay, you're busy. make i make it work and then i have to finish my math book tonight because i have it i ordered another one so oh my word in heaven i'm trying to finish fourth grade so i can get to fifth grade so you know i was i was uh watching great british bake off with blaze last night and this guy he was such a goober it was season 13 and he was this poor guy he he threw an axe like they did you know when they go to their house like in a reality show whatever competition where they go to their house and they're like 35 year old so-and-so is a stay-at-home mom and

cooks for her children, whatever the fuck. So they have this guy Hassan and they're like, Hassan is a so-and-so-year-old scientist who lives in and he loves yoga and he's just like in his little room doing yoga and it's so dorky. And then they're like, and spending time with friends. And he's like playing with the axe throwing and he throws an axe and it fucking bounces and it flies like right over his head and he goes, what do you say? Wait, wait, wait, wait. I have to say it right.

He said, oh no, now I'm going to lose it. What did the British people say? They say, oh, my something. I have no idea. It wasn't oh, my heavens. But it was something very, like, British. Heavens to Betsy or something like that.

It was like, oh, my heavens. This axe is just like flying over his head. And I don't remember why I just told you that except for. I think it's because you can imagine me on one of those shows. it's like M. Schultz likes to do fourth grade math for fun. And then I can't get a right. And then I go, oh, my heavens. Oh, my heavens. Oh, my heavens. I need to ask, plays, what it was. It was something ridiculous. Anyway, all that to say, I will say also, spoiler alert, he was the first one kicked off. Oh, well. Because his cake went like this,

like the lumber jack cake I made you one time. It went like, it went just like a Zach's drawing. Exactly, right. Oh, my heavens. I'll think about what he said and come back with it next week. Well, okay, well, I'll see you next time. And that's why we drink.