And That's Why We Drink - E57 Harry Potter and the Chamber of Zombies and an Em-vis Impersonator

Episode Date: March 4, 2018

It’s episode 57! Em’s story - the urban legend of Russia’s 1940s sleep experiment - is bananas. In Christine’s words, “What the actual hell, Em.” Meanwhile, Christine discusses the ~timely~ case of the David and Louise Turpin, who held their 13 kids hostage for years in a California “house of horrors.” If we needed an excuse to drink, that would be it. Come meet us at CrimeCon 2018 this May in Nashville, TN! Get a surprise gift from us when using promo code “ATWWD”! https://www.crimecon.com/Please consider supporting the companies that support us! Visit Stamps.com/drink for a 4-week trial PLUS postage AND a digital scale without longterm commitments. Try Ora Organic with 15% off your first order using the code DRINK at www.ora.organic. Our listeners can post jobs on ZipRecruiter for free by visiting ZipRecruiter.com/drink!

Sorry, I'm picking up on my fake nails. Those are your nails? They're fake! I know. Heinous. I know. Are there more? Can you just do it now? That's all gone. Okay. Sorry. No, I just hate nails. Especially in the cold right now where they're so brittle.

I have to push them down with my teeth to make sure they're still there. You better hope Allison never gets, well, Allison wouldn't get acrylics but i can't i really like like oh wow what a torture that would be oh my oh my well they're gone now okay good how you doing besides the fact it's just making me think of that texas chainsaw massacre scene where he's scratching the walls so hard that his nails literally fall off of his finger okay all right well that's why we're in the same place i'm just saying this is why i don't Texas Chainsaw Massacre scene where he's scratching the walls so hard that his nails literally fall off of his fingers.

Okay. All right. Well, that's why. Now we're in the same place. I'm just saying, this is why I don't watch these fucking movies, because they ruin things like nails. Probably. Oh, that sounded real classy. i was waiting for that i saw you do it like ninja fast you're like this is the moment don't mess it up i like stared you right in the eye you forced me into a moment

with you that was what i typically do with others i force them into moments with me yep but uh let's crack into it i'm still not drinking so la croix it is la croix it is which one is this this time oh my favorite pomplemousse oh that's not my favorite did you know that deirdre wrote her acceptance not her acceptance letter yeah well her college letter her college essay she went to uva and she got in because she wrote an essay about the word pomplamoose and how it's her favorite word. Blaze, literally, I texted him earlier and he goes, I said, can you pick up some La Croix from the store? And he goes, what flavor? And I said, pomplamoose.

And then he just sends a question mark. And he goes, was that text meant for me? Yeah, it means grapefruit in French. And he was like, oh, like oh wow well don't i feel like a boob hey why are you saying that and b duh everyone knows that i thought for a second this was my number one go-to tangerine i think because you know i love a good orange flavor tangerine's pretty good too lime is second best always i like this one and i like the peach pear one i like all these except the one we drank last week.

That was the crayon. You don't like that? That I did not like. You drank two of them. I was thirsty. Actually, I was just desperate. Well, all right. My dad listened to a recent episode.

He didn't listen to the episode. He only listened to the first 10 minutes to see if I've moved anywhere or like that's nice got a new job um and he called me and was like i thought he goes first of all it's pronounced la croix second of all are they your sponsor or what you didn't tell me this and i'm like no they're not it's like no they're not and he goes well you make it sound like they are and i was like well they really fucking should be they should be france are you listening france pamplemousse. That's nice of your father to actually listen to the show. My father barely even knows that we have a fucking show. He only calls me and asks me about the show when he thinks he has sage business advice for us.

Oh, sure, yes. And he's like, as a business owner, put it on the cloud. Put it on the cloud. And I'm like, okay, dad. And he's like, so what's your game plan what's your game plan for this and i was like to keep going and he was like all right sounds like a good game plan i'm like you thought you're a sports commentator what is your fucking deal what if we had a sports commentator for the podcast we do his name's gary schultz oh okay great anyway so anyway so anyway

your father's supportive mine thinks he kind of is you know he's very proud of us he just doesn't know what he's proud of that's kind of a dad thing i feel like that is a dad i can't wait to be a fucking parent i'm gonna be so proud of my kids and they'll be like do you even know what's going on and i'll be like no i don't but you're alive and that's all that matters to me in the legal system and aunt christine is toasting to you oh with you're gonna be such the classic drunk aunt i'm so excited cannot wait cannot wait either you'll just show up unexpected with boxes of wine you'll be like drink these with me and they'll be like i'm five and you'll be like we all start

sometime like me too i don't condone underage drinking disclaimer allison's really living the dream right now if like her college roommate slash best friend is gonna be like the pseudo aunt to her child one day how weird is that huh you know yes ah that's just that's just that's just good stuff that's comedy gold i think i think it's a sitcom in the making, really. Allison, are you listening? Hello? She does listen to us all the time. You know what's really cute about Allison?

That she'll absolutely not want this broadcasted, but here we are. I have a show. Ha ha ha. She falls asleep to our show. Also kind of a sicko. I'm sorry. Are we boring? Hold on.

No, she likes the sounds of our voice. We're soothing. Yeah, but as we talk about murder and the paranormal so she's also kind of looney tunes yeah i mean whatever i'm dating her it's not like that's a surprise did we think i would find a sane one a normal person why are you drinking um i don't know because i can't drink still and I feel like it's been long enough. Are you in the phase where you're like used to this now? Yeah, yeah. I'm definitely, I'm on day 17. Have you forgotten your love of wine?

No, never. You can still taste it. It's waiting for me. No, I'm fine. I'm just like over it a little bit. What about you? Why are you drinking? I don't know why I'm drinking either. Oh, I'm drinking because I'm nervous for this weekend to meet your friends.

Oh, yeah. Allison's and my college roomies are coming to town. Which it's not just like I'm nervous to meet my friends' friends, like your friends, but I'm meeting my girlfriend's friends. Yeah, that's true. And I've yet to meet any of my girlfriend's friends oh interesting you realize that get ready i know she moved here to my town with my friends and now i'm like oh man now i gotta switch it up so luckily you're friends with them too i know so you'll have a support system and you can like warn me ahead of time like how to swindle into their hearts i to swindle into their hearts yes yeah yep i don't want to just take the heart itself no you don't want to like

i want to do it on a spiritual level you want to do it on a like a slightly illegal level oh yeah oh a thousand black market love a good illegal swindle well all swindles are illegal oh right so black market just a theft in general actually i'd like to commit yeah i love a good theft don't we all yeah all right got any updates for me i see that little finger wagging on your keep glancing over i'm like what do you got to say well i want to dedicate this episode to one of our 25 patrons okay named tristan love tristan tristan how you doing tristan recommended a paranormal story how do you know it's that tristan i don't know because i don't know i'm just assumed well because i i just recently saved one in our in our file from someone named tristan maybe it's you

putting it in maybe it's not maybe it is maybe it isn't you know my first boyfriend's name was tristan no way actually my second boyfriend's name was chosen oh my gosh it was in high school it was a weird time what a special place he holds in your heart he was on the football team wow so that makes me cool right yes he also went to public school so like pretty badass he's also a great guy i just i just want to put that out there we're all very impressed i don't know i don't want people thinking i dated a bad boy you know tristan are you on the football team not anymore no no this tristan oh damn it we're talking about our tristan now i just assume all tristans are the

same person oh maybe did i date you in high school? Oh, my God. It's your first boyfriend. Oh, hey, buddy. Second boyfriend. Second boyfriend. Tristan, you live in Georgia. Congratulations. Thank you for supporting our podcast. All right. All right.

I'll take it. Anyway, that's all the news I have except that I'm going to say it every time. Come to CrimeCon in May. May 4th to May 6th, Nashville. That's right. Nashville, Tennessee. We'll be there. And our promo code is ATWWD.

Use it. You'll get a discount. Use it. Don't lose it. And come meet us. And booze it. Booze it up with me. Christine will not be on Whole30 anymore. Thank God. Can you imagine? No. Don't even put that on my head. Also,

someone did ask if Gio coming i'm just gonna say no now no because it's just we're not allowed that would be quite and also it's too hard to travel with him sorry we will have a geo related surprise for anybody who comes to meet us wink wink nudge nudge at wwd is our promo code all right let's go let me get my i forgot to get my laptop it is over here okay do you like that sound that i made as an 80 year old who's actually in a 25 year old body you know now that i know even though i'm a 25 year old and 80 year old body now that you now that i know you uh dated a football player i'm just too blinded by how cool you are listen to hear anything you and my girlfriend and my mother are the only three people who say that to me just kidding allison doesn't um your mother does yeah my mom thinks

i'm so cool guys oh god sometimes i ask allison if she thinks i'm cool and she's like no no like all right that's fair i'm like oh today though i will say one of my co-workers alison maybe you can answer for everyone else actually everyone else go ask alison because when i ask she doesn't take it seriously oh tell me today one of my co-workers asked me what is alison like how does she feel dating a celebrity which one hysterical to al Allison I'd like to know. My sister called me and said, all my friends are so impressed that my sister is famous. Your sister is such a dynamo. I almost cried in my car. I was like, this is the sweetest thing anyone has ever said to me.

Your sister recently started following me on Instagram and I was like a little starstruck. Oh my. Yeah, she's way cooler than me. She's so cool. She'll always be cooler than me. I like that she just doesn't give a shit. No. She's like, I'm here to be myself.

I'm ready to rock and roll. I like dragons. It's fine. She's so cool. Also, it helps that her name starts with a Z. It actually starts with an F. Well, her nickname. Oh, that's true.

Like on her social media. Yeah, yeah. She just developed that nickname. I wonder if it will stick. It sticking with me all right it's friends stick king oh my god apparently her uh her uh color guard coach i think listens to us oh my so hi hello you better make Christine's sister the number one star guard. Flag twirler. She's never going to be the, nope, that's mean. Let's just say she gets her athletic genes from me.

By the way, guys, I did 23andMe. Let's talk about that real quick. I thought you did, you told me you did a long time ago. I did do it a long time ago. And I also like didn't really understand how crucial it can be like no surprise nothing great's coming for me in my DNA but like I recently re-looked at it now that I kind of care more about the stats and all that like my medical health and all that and it says that I am predisposed to being underweight and having extreme athleticism um did you not see my tweet that i posted like two weeks ago which one i said 23 and me there's been a mistake

you yes i did see that okay so we basically got the same results but mine was predisposed to being overweight so i don't know i want to swap yeah sure yeah what the fuck 23 me are they just trying to make everyone feel better about themselves i don't know but a lot of relatives quote of mine have reached out to me and they don't even look like creepy i know i uh accidentally signed blaze up for that and he's so mad because he keeps getting these emails from strangers anyway i just wanted to let everyone know that my DNA is actually betraying me. Or I'm betraying my DNA. Maybe that's it. Yeah, it's like

your muscle composition is that of elite athletes or something? Yes. Yep. Yep. So absurd. That's the one. I'm like, what muscles? I tweeted that at 23andMe and they were like, not every one of our things is 100% reliable. It's like, okay, but is any of it? It was a joke, 23andMe.

Actually, you know, when 23andMe becomes our sponsor, we're going to have to scrap this episode. What? All of a sudden, we're going to be like, wow, it was so right. I am an athlete. Look at me. An athlete milkshake chugger. Oh, man. Olympics, here we come.

Oh, God. What? Barbara Streisand. 23andMe became our sponsor? We're athletes now, Em. We have a new life ahead of us. Oh, God. What? Barbara Streisand. 23andMe became our sponsor? We're athletes now, Em. We have a new life ahead of us. Oh, man. Allison, what's it like to date an athlete?

Apparently, Barbara Streisand just had her dog cloned. Not surprised. Obviously tagged me in that post. Thanks, Jamie, for tagging me in that. I mean, back in high school, I remember following the first cloned sheep or something like that. Dolly, yeah. So it's about time that celebrities start doing this. Why do you think Dolly wasn't a llama?

See, my thought went to Dolly Parton. So we're different people people we could clone her too oh we oughta i'm pretty sure all dollies are the same just like all tristans are the same that is a fact are you also a robot now yeah i'm actually the clone of me oh my god 23 me is really confusing i'm ready to tell you a story okay i'm ready to hear because i need to stop talking um this one is a doozy you said you were excited now i'm excited yeah that's usually how vibes work so oh thanks you're welcome um okay so this is an urban legend oh man is it no would you like to guess is it cropsy no oh although i don't understand

the hype of that one i'm gonna have to look into it more because i'm not vibing with crops i guess it's more of a true crime one anyway um i don't know all right it involves my people the russians why are they your people because i'm russian no you're not yeah i am how are you talking go look at my 23me i am no really i am russian i swear to god i'm literally all of like the like the jewish lands i'm russia like eastern europe basically russia austria poland and then i'm also german schultz yeah okay okay i'm just all of the whitest countries that exist um well on my dad's side were a lot of irish folk but i have no uk blood in me just all germans i have no like uk area blood in me oh no i'm very like potato famine i thought you were russian now

i'm confused you're like i'm 100 russian i never said 100 i just said i'm i'm also irish you said you were 100 jewish countries and then you said i'm pretty much the potato famine i'm just i'm i am very jewish hey there's your brother oh jesus that scared me like looking over your shoulder at my shoulder look at him he's just waving oh he did the nod. The cool nod. He's too cool for me. God, he's like the Fonz.

All right. Tell me. What is the urban legend from Russia? Well, also like. Wait, it's not DLF Pass. No, it's not an urban legend. No. Okay.

No. But also the Russians, my blood people. We all know my real people are the Canadians. Right. That's why I was confused first. No, the Canadians would never do something like this. Uh-oh. So, this is in the 1940s, and the Russians were conducting a lot of experiments.

Oh, boy. Oh, boy. Oh, boy. Oh, boy. That were controversial. Oh, my. So, this is the Russian sleep experiment. What? Do you know about it no it's code name according to our government says google um it is called orange soda what

so that's the name of the that's the code name of this experiment keenan and kill i thought i thought about doing a who loves orange soda and then the answer being the russians but then you don't seem i didn't want to get all like radical so yeah that's pretty radical the most radical i've ever been so anyway just scoot into my mic get real ready with our la croix listen pamplemousse pamplemousse is ready la croix de la pamplemousse pamplemousse is ready everyone has stopped listening to us especially the parisians the parisians my people i'm a hundred percent parisian i'm russian and french and i'm also the potato famine so uh they the the russians sure they those people those ones um so they had the this was around world war ii area they were conducting controversial

experiments including sleep studies and they needed test subjects so at a time like this who better to peel from than prisoners of war and just political prisoners in general that were deemed enemies of the state that way nobody felt bad apparently on doing these things sure so these prisoners who became their inmates and subjects agreed to do this stuff because they were promised freedom if they complied with the study. No, that's fucked up. Wow. You're right.

Finally. For once in our friendship. I've been waiting for this moment. We all know you're always right. You just let me look like I can take the cake. So the study was to keep these subjects awake. It was a sleep experiment. So it was actually an anti-sleep experiment

because they were not sleeping. Very misleading. Because if I was told I'm part of a sleep study, I'd be like, where do I sign? Sign me the fuck up. So apparently this quote sleep quote study was to keep them awake for 30 days straight. Oh no.

What is, why? I guess you're gonna tell me i'm not gonna tell you why that's just it's just i'm imagining it was like they wanted to see if they could stay awake longer so like soldiers could fight longer be on longer shifts or some shit like that oh no so the researchers used five subjects oh Oh, my God. We don't know, like, where they're from or anything. We don't know, like, how they became prisoners. Just, like, I don't know if they're off the battlefield or since they're political prisoners. Oh, sure. Like, I don't know how they became, how they got into their hands.

They were put into airtight sealed rooms and they were monitored for their oxygen intake because the study was that they were going to be kept awake in a chamber where it was being flooded with experimental gas-based stimulants. For God's sake. To keep them awake. So they were in airtight sealed rooms and they were being monitored mainly for the oxygen intake um than anything else just to see if they'd even stay alive because the gas was really toxic especially in such high concentrations and it was falling for 30 days straight oh my god um the only other way that they were being observed um closed circuit cameras didn't exist yet sure so they only relied on microphones um and the wiring like flooded into like some sort of system that they could listen to on their end

and um thick glass porthole windows oh how like they'd like look literally look in like put their face in to see what's going on how creepy is that so the chamber had a five month stock of books cots dried food and running water oh okay so they i mean they needed to like keep themselves like alive by necessity so um it gave them something to do okay and they had enough to keep them all satiated for five months i thought it was 30 days yeah they still had like a five month stock oh oh i see what you're saying um that way they can never say like i'm hungry although we all know i probably eat five months worth of food in 30 days so you were like i finished my dinner my co-worker literally brought me pizza today for lunch that

she had at a party yesterday and they were like we're just getting rid of these extra pies of pizza unless you know someone who'll eat them and she grabbed like two pies and was like i know someone and brought it to work today she goes i know so and then looks at the camera yeah with a jim halpert smile so so first five days they were eating a lot of pizza no i ate all of it today oh whoops um everything was fine but enough i mean they were obviously really fucking tired imagine being awake for five days let alone six times that i can't so the subjects hardly complain though because they thought that it might deter the researchers from letting them be free afterwards that's so fucked up sorry i've got like a nose hair don't you like that do

you need a tweezer i might in a little bit if it keeps bothering me so they didn't really complain that much um but you could tell they were tired and their conversations and activities were monitored the entire time and over wait so they were all in the same room yeah they were all in the same room like living together i didn't know that i think it was just i don't think that was supposed to be part of the experiment i think it was just close quarters called for one airtight sealed chamber like how many of those you're really gonna fund holy shit so wait did they have a bathroom yeah they had running water they had like a toilet oh wow okay it was like basically imagine not only having to stay awake for 30 days straight but also having four fucking dorm mates you're in a dorm right um so and no booze hidden under the mattress yeah maybe they fermented the

toilet water and made like what's it it called? Hooch? Hooch. God. Em, you're so cool. I can't stand it. I dated a football player, okay? So over time, the conversations, because they were monitoring them talking and interacting with each other, over time, their conversations got progressively darker. Oh. And they started opening up more about increasingly traumatic incidents oh my god um from

their past like things that they'd had to go through and like they were getting really emotional with each other and so psychologically they were losing it oh boy they started to complain about um their lives and how it they like ended up where they were like in this experiment like how they ended up where they were in this experiment, how they got to this point. And so they would bitch and moan about that nonstop. And then they started breaking down and crying. And then they also started to demonstrate severe paranoia 24-7. So they didn't trust each other. They started sitting separately and away from each other.

They stopped talking to each other. So they went from incredibly emotional to not speaking and feeling feeling like everyone was against them this is like a scary episode of big brother yeah this is actually um this is how they like practice you oh this is the reality show it's russia's reality show is what you're saying so they stopped talking to each other and they also began taking turns whispering into the microphones oh they began taking turns doing that yeah and like looking in the windows and shouting into the windows but when they would whisper into the microphones they would whisper like dark secrets about the other people trying to gain favoritism from the researchers so they're like okay your turn go whisper something about it's

like the bitchy seventh grader but five of them and they all have microphones oh it's like she's been wearing that for the last three days can you believe do you smell her she smells like a dead fucking body god what a nightmare she smells like she's trapped in a chamber full of gas and hasn't slept and hasn't slept in five days holy shit um i love how she thinks she can just get away with it so obviously i'm gonna whisper about it into this secret microphone are you listening tap tap tap so this was so that reaction of them like totally just like throwing each other under the bus and talking shit about each other they thought that was initially thought to be a reaction to the gas of like the severe paranoia paranoia and trying to like get the other ones out of the chamber.

I forgot about the gas. Who could forget? Christian is the answer. So day nine comes out of 30. It's like the whole 30. Oh, my God. It's Russian. No wonder it's so familiar to me.

There it is. No wonder I'm so. They weren't drinking either. This is why i'm whispering into this microphone oh i'm gonna start whispering all your secrets oh yeah you have a microphone that you whisper into yep don't you dare tell a dirty dark secret of mine all your secrets are gonna go i pretty much tell them all i'm gonna go put my head in a porthole and talk about you um okay so anyway j9 everything's been going as is then one of them just starts

screaming non-stop oh god like just like one long bellow for like three hours straight and like only stopping to like take a breath can i ask a dumb question how are they keeping them awake like because the gas that they're pumping in is like a stimulant to keep them up oh shit so like they can't sleep even if they wanted to right there that's the experiment is like if can they can they live off of this oh i thought they were just gonna like slap them every time they fell asleep or something no but that's actually it's probably a more humane way to do this i was thinking um but yeah in case that wasn't clear because i i said something in the beginning but we all know i love my weird mumbling thing that i do where words don't make

sense you know how like everyone made all this fucking noise about my zip recruiter nonsense i just sometimes forget the r guys okay it's not, so do we know what the stimulant is or no? It was not English. It was Russian? I just might have been. Actually, it was orange soda. So they just pumped liquid. Honestly, if you breathe enough of that in with that bubbly effervescent thing going on that soda has, if you just breathe that in, that basically wakes you up real quick.

Like all that high fructose corn syrup in your brain it's literally just orange just gaseous orange soda yeah or is it gaseous don't do this to me zipper cooter um so one of them started screaming non-stop for three hours straight and just running around the chamber screening good um until so he just screams screams screams until he's totally loses his voice and he can basically only like squeak every now and then like whatever sound like no sounds coming out of his mouth wonderful it was later discovered that he had torn his own vocal cords and he just kept screaming through the pain oh god while this happened the other subjects didn't even react to it they never seemed to even notice in the beginning not once did any of them react it was as if they were totally blocked off to him doing this um they just kept whispering into the

microphones oh my god this is so creepy the same day on on that same day that the subject started screaming a second subject started screaming just as loudly oh good so more than one of them the other while he was screaming the other subjects took the books that were in in their little room tore out the pages smeared each of them with their own feces good and then stuck them calmly over the observation porthole windows oh my god oh my god can you imagine working there being like listen this is my first day on the job i don't know what to do once the last window was covered at the exact same moment that the feces covered page was put on the window the screaming stopped and so did the whispering and there was no nothing but silence on the microphones for the next three days

what so they they didn't even just all sound ceased they didn't even go in there to remove the papers they just like let it be well they didn't want to go in there people were just screaming for no reason and scared of each other like this is so scary what the fuck so they can't see anything they only have the mics to rely on and now it's just silent what in the world so the researchers checked the mics um it made no sense to them how literally not a single sound not even like a crumple or a throat clear it like no sound was coming from a room of five people for three days what's the difference between our podcast and i was gonna say it we recorded maybe two hours and you get a hundred

clips of me going so the oxygen consumption in the chamber showed that all five of them were still alive whoa um and it even showed actually that they were inhaling and taking in enough oxygen to show that they were all under either severe stress or they were just taking in heavy, heavy levels of oxygen, which is a sign of intense exercise. Oh my God. But they're not doing anything that would even make them pant. Like if you're're doing extreme when i don't know about you when i'm fucking exercising i'm going i think you can remember that we're both elite athletes right i'm sorry so actually we make no sound just like them we just but i'm that person in the gym who's just like praying to god by the end so the fact that they're making no sound and under this kind

of duress is interesting. That's scary. Yeah, that's really scary. So by day 14, the researchers talk through the intercom and say, like, they don't know what's going on. Like, the oxygen levels say they're alive, but literally not a single sound. Like, it just, they might as well not even be in there. Oh, my God. So the researchers intercom through the chamber and say, quote, we are opening the chamber to test the microphone.

Step away from the door and lie flat on are opening the chamber to test the microphone step away from the door and lie flat on the floor or you will be shot oh my god compliance will earn you immediate freedom it's like if you just lie down we'll just let you go oh boy oh boy oh boy oh boy one voice in an eerily calm manner says we no longer want to be freed and keep up that is the sound that's the first thing they've heard in three days i just got goosebumps so he says we no longer want to be freed oh no um the next day they so after that that three days go by that's the first thing they hear and then after that no other sound is made for another 24 hours so the next day oh right they don't have to test the mics anymore because yeah right it's like oh the microphones work they don't need to go in there okay um so the next day after

no other responses they decide to open the door and go in there and see what the fuck's going on okay so the vents in the chamber sucked out all the gas and filled the room with fresh air. And immediately, as soon as the fresh air is being pumped in, every single one of them, all their voices start screaming and they're begging for the gas to be turned back on. Oh, no. The guards come in anyway and see that four of the five subjects are still alive. So one of them has died. Oh, shit. The stock of food that they had, and it's like enough to keep them going forever and ever looks like it's barely been touched since

they went into the chamber what since the 14 days started this is now 15 days oh my god so over two weeks ago and it looks like the food's barely been touched and yet they've been surviving also if i had nothing to do but have five months of free food next to me i would just be eating and eating and eating i would be so fat maybe like if you can't sleep but you can eat i'd be like well that's one of my two favorite things so um anyway so there's one that's not alive and the food looks like it hasn't been touched so the dead test subject you ready oh god no okay tell me he had chunks of meat from his thighs and chest no ripped out of him no no and stuffed into the drain in the center of the floor out of him no no and stuffed into the drain in the center of the floor so that the chamber like it so they stuffed his own chest and thigh meat oh no which is a word that they use not me oh my god

put it into the drain so it blocked the drain for several days so it allowed bloody water to flood the chamber for the last like four days the other subjects also had large chunks of muscle and skin ripped off of them muscle and skin ripped off of them vomit they all also had exposed bone on their fingertips oh god suggesting that their body their bodily wounds were one self-inflicted and two by their own hands, not by their teeth. They didn't, like, bite their muscle out. They literally digged and digged, dug. They dug into their own bodies.

Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Until, literally, you could see the bone on their fingertips. Oh, my God. And their muscle and skin had been removed. Oh, my God. The abdominal organs below the rib cage had also been removed what and what they had been taken out it like although the important okay let's just start at one place so above the rib cage let's

just stay there please please let's stay there while the important organs remain such as the heart and lungs most of the muscles on the ribs had been ripped off exposing the lungs through the rib cage so you could see through their ribs and see their lungs i'm gonna throw up now let's go down to the abdominal organs do we have to although they were still attached to their bodies oh fucking hell they had been taken out and laid on the floor fanning out around them so there's standing there with all their organs still pumping but lying on the floor next to them how are they still alive good question their digestive tracts for example digestive tracts for example could be seen working so like you could see them you could see their digestive tracts digesting their own

flesh that they had peeled off their bodies. So did they eat the flesh? They were eating their own flesh. Oh, I did not know that. Oh, God, oh, God, oh, God. They just stood there and kept screaming to be left in the chamber and to turn the gas back on. I don't know if it's more traumatic to open the door and see that or like, be in the guard being like nope i would i i signed on for a graveyard shift seriously in the break room i was told that all i had to do was listen to a microphone while i put sudoku i was just supposed to listen to my true crime podcast and all of a sudden i'm living one oh fuck so the subjects so okay then the guards are like you have to be hospitalized so the subjects ended up putting up quite a fight to be removed. Can you imagine fighting these people with their organs hanging out?

It's like The Walking Dead, literally. Truly, yeah. So two of the guards died during this fight. Oh my god. One had his throat ripped out. The other had his testicles ripped off. Emma, come on. And an artery in his leg had been bitten so bad that it's

severed okay so these are literally fucking zombies why are you telling me this because we have a podcast and a fan base and i have to keep talking apparently oh what did we do why are we doing this i don't know sometimes i don't know sometimes i'm driving here and i'm like why am i doing this one of the four subjects that's still alive because there was five and then that one right died like a normal fucking human by the way but then they ripped his fucking flesh out uh one of the four remaining subjects died during this, during this like battle to be removed from the chamber. It sounds like a Harry Potter thing. It's the chamber of secrets,

the chamber of zombies, the chamber of Russian zombies. Uh, one of the four subjects died when his spleen ruptured and he bled out. Fantastic. But also when your spleen, I guarantee you one of those fucking cops just stepped on it by accident. It was just lying there on the ground. He he's like i thought this was a welcome mat the medical researchers attempted

to sedate these subjects and they were injected with more than three times the average dose oh god and even on that amount these quote people um still were able to break a doctor's ribs and arms before passing out holy crap didn't they think of pumping sedatives into the room right you know like they already had that method going for them uh the surviving test subjects were moved to a hospital and they were still begging for the gas to be pumped through their lungs the most injured of the three was taken to have his organs placed back in his body and he was apparently immune to the sedative that they were giving him to prepare him for surgery so he died on the table before they could perform surgery and they later found out that his blood had tripled the normal level of oxygen oh no another one of the subjects

was um one of the ones that was screaming until he damaged his vocal cords so since he can't talk anymore he wasn't able to object to the surgery but he was also immune to the anesthetic so they did the surgery without sedative or painkiller this is my nightmare he did not react for the entire six hour procedure of putting his organs back in and covering them with whatever leftover skin they could find my god he didn't even react one nurse he did react one nurse stated that she even saw his mouth curl into a smile several times i'm gonna punch you when the surgery ended the subject attempted to talk to the surgeon but couldn't use his voice

and so the surgeon gave him a pen no to like what are you trying to say and this was after the surgery so he like he's done with the procedure the guy's just lying there they give him a pen and he writes keep cutting what what is going on the surgeon said it was impossible to operate on the last one because the patient laughed hysterically the entire time. I don't know. Why? The researchers asked why. Good, me too. They had injured themselves and why they wanted to be given the gas again.

And individually, all three of them just said i must remain awake all three subjects restraints were put back on them and they were put back into the chamber i'm sorry of zombies what the chamber of orange soda so this is oh that clarifies right thank you um this is because this research experiment, especially during World War II, a lot of the experiments that were kind of controversial were funded through the military. So since their, quote, military benefactors still wanted results and the 30 days hadn't finished, they demanded that they get put back. Oh, my God. They're like, they're like intestines back in off

you go yep oh my god that's toodaloo look it was a tough time all right i mean i can the 40s were rough yeah i remember i mean the depression just happened i mean there was a world a world war a war of the there was two of them at one point i I think. Oh my god, no way. Separate times, I think. That's what I heard. So in preparation for being sealed back into the chamber, the subjects were also connected to EEG monitors, so they could at least read their brainwaves, and then had strong restraints put onto each of them. So they just sat there for the next 15 days. No!

That was the idea. put onto each of them so they just sat there for the next 15 days that was the idea that was the idea so their eegs were normal most of the time but sometimes it would flatline unexpectedly in quote as if they were repeatedly suffering brain death before returning to normal oh and then they'd go back to normal that's so creepy watching the eeg for one of them that particular subject's brain waves immediately changed to that of deep sleep so like he finally fell asleep because apparently when they were putting them back since they hadn't been inhaling this gas for long enough the effects were wearing off and so they were starting to like fall asleep because they hadn't slept for fucking 15 days yeah and so as before like they could pump all

the gas back in one of them started falling asleep and the eeg monitor read it so he fell into deep sleep and then flatlined and his heart stopped immediately and he died holy shit so do you think their bodies were like we can't fall asleep it was almost like they can't function with sleep all of a sudden yeah oh my god surviving subject saw this and knew that the gas hadn't come on yet and began screaming and fighting against the restraints and even though they were really strong and like really tight on him he was still nearly breaking free freaking out that he wasn't getting the gas pumped into his lungs so scared the now armed researchers um one of them pulled his gun and like shut the chamber like shut down the chamber while he was still in there so it's just the two of them in there pulled a gun pointed it at him and said

what are you i must know because like this guy was like acting like a maniac and like able to rip away like leather restraints he said what are you he's like what the fuck are you hello you made him this way so apparently he then stops fighting oh god oh god oh god stares at him does the same creepy smile that the other one did while in surgery and says have have you forgotten so easily? We are you. We are the madness that lurks within you all begging to be free at every moment in your deepest animal mind. We are what you hide from in your beds at night.

We are what you sedate into silence and paralysis. When you go to the nocturnal Haven, where we cannot tread. Look at my freaking arm right now. I regret not closing the blinds. Or the door that's wide open behind you. I regret meeting you and becoming your friend. The researcher freaked out and shot him in the head.

Because as soon as he said that, he went back into trying to attack the guy. So shot him. And as he shot him, the guy laughed, and then said, so nearly guy laughed and then said so nearly free and then died and what the fuck is this real it's so scary so oh my god that's the urban legend of the russian sleep experiment so this is a creepy pasta and it's one of the most popular creepypastas right up there with Slenderman.

So it's not real? It's a creepypasta. Who knows? Oh, my God. Who knows? Creepypasta's not real. Who knows? Now I'm scared.

So someone whose name I really fucked up. I forgot the name. I'm sorry. But someone has identified what makes a creepypasta viral, like what makes one go viral. And it has been suggested that the seven main things that make a creepypasta story go viral is that they have these seven things. Unexplained phenomenon, first person narratives, unexplained phenomenon first person narratives monsters supernatural beings cliffhangers murder creepy images creepy videos so her the person who did this her thought was that the perfect formula for a viral creepypasta is that exactly four of those seven no more no less

gives your story the best chance of going viral so this story for example um is a creepy pasta with a total of at the time that she did this study over 64 000 chairs whoa um and it used one unexplained phenomenon to murder three monsters slash supernatural beings and for a series of creepy images of because if you look it up online the pictures are fucking wild there's pictures yes but they're creepy pictures that are black and white so it like suggests like authenticity from a long time ago that they're not real the photos if you don't if you don't believe in it then no what wait tell me it's a creepy pasta who the fuck knows it's an urban legend so i'm no, but I also want to give our listeners, like...

Oh, I see. A nightmare. I thought you were saying they were made black and white on purpose. No. Oh. So, I will say this. At the time, the experimental setup was not the setup of a legitimate experiment back then.

The chamber in which the subjects were housed was not easily observable because it just had those windows. Wait, so it actually happened? I'm saying if this... Chances are, no. Okay. Chances are, no. Who the fuck knows?

But chances are, no. But reasons why it would not be logical is because the experimental setup was not legitimate. Oh, I see. Um, the chamber was not easy to observe. There were no control groups and medically speaking, that is not what fucking happening happens in human physiology.

Um, for example, blood loss would have killed all of those people very fucking fast and you would have at least heard them ripping their skin off. cannot believe you had me thinking these people were walking around without organs also literature on sleep deprivation studies shows that chemical stimulants lose effectiveness over not over time they don't get stronger they uh you become immune to them yeah so even if the only thing that this stimulant gas did was keep them awake over time it would have wore down right okay um so i will say this the guinness record holder of most days without sleep um was originally a student at a high school named randy gardner he wanted to be um in the guinness world records book randy this is not the way to do it so he went without

sleep for 11 days and he suffered bouts of dizziness memory loss slurred speech hallucinations and paranoia but his uh record was never legitimate because he was so tired he forgot to fucking like end it like like clock stopping no and also he before he ever did this he never filled out the right paperwork for a submission to the guinness world records so they didn't even actually bring anyone to watch him do this he just was like he literally just did it and thought he could report it to the guinness world records and they'd be like oh okay randy come on so the official title holder who actually also beat him um her name was maureen she lives in england and she stayed awake for 17 days oh 18 days and 17 hours jesus during a rocking chair marathon which is the sleepiest opportunity i'm sorry i have many questions it's like why okay first of all what

the fuck's a rocking chair marathon and how do I join? Second, like, that's like asking me to get on a cozy couch when it's a little chilly out with a perfect heavy comforter, maybe my gravity blanket and some hot tea and then stay awake for 18 days. Impossible. That's insane. So that's like two feats in one. She still holds the record for sleep deprivation to this day and will continue to do so until time because Guinness has actually retired that record.

Wow. Because it's dangerous? Yeah, in fear of people hurting themselves. Or, you know, like ripping their skin off with their fingers. Or that. So, I just wanted to give those fun facts. God, you just really freaked me out. Thanks.

I can't believe you didn't tell me until afterward it was a creepypasta. You had me going there. I wanted you to care. I wanted you to care about the art of storytelling. You had me there. You writer on Nickelodeon, you. This is like now the No Sleep podcast. We've done it.

Oh my god. I'm just gonna drink my pamplemousse. Le quoi? While you tell me about a good old... How do you say murder in French? Morte. I don't know. Well, no.

M-O-R-T. That's death. Like, because Voldemort is face of death. Oh, interesting. But I think it's similar. Let's see. Murder in French. Google tells me

all right close enough okay okay well this is not a fake story okay but it's a timely story i love a good timely story oh wait maybe i don't we'll find out it's happening right now shit um i am going to cover the case of the turpin family in paris california all right not to be confused with our parisian friends do not confuse them paris p-r-r-i-s i'm ready the lesser known paris you don't know the story you might when you hear it i think i do because i've definitely seen the name turpin it's like it's like currently yeah i think it's one of those things where i've kind of blocked it out but i do know what's happening all right so it's an ongoing case because it broke so recently but i'm just gonna tell you what i've dug up so

far just shoot me the facts in the early morning hours hours of January 14th, 2018, so about a month and a half ago. Okay. 911 dispatchers received a call from a 17-year-old girl asking for help. She had climbed out of her bedroom window and called 911 with a defunct phone that she had found in her house that could only be used in emergencies. Because it was, you know, how like legally all phones are required to be able to call 9-1-1 which by the way guys good safety tip if you have a phone that doesn't work anymore keep it charged in case you need to use it in emergencies just saying so she was able to call 9-1-1 she told police that her parents were holding her and her siblings hostage and that they needed help.

When police got to her, she showed them photos of conditions in the home, so they believed her. Then deputies of the Riverside County Sheriff's Department converged on the house where they found 12 other children and adults between the ages of 2 and 29. Fuck. Being held prisoner in their own home by their parents, David and Louise Turpin. Some of them were shackled to their beds with chains and padlocks. Jesus. Also, like, how many kids is that? 13.

Yowza. We'll get into it. Oh, we, oh yeah. We'll crack into it. I sure hope so. The parents were arrested, obviously obviously and are currently in custody awaiting trial uh they've pleaded not guilty to the dozens of charges against them which include 12 counts of torture 12 counts of false imprisonment seven counts of abuse on a dependent adult and six

counts of child abuse shit and then david turpin was individually charged with a lewd act on a child under 14 years old by force. Oh, fuck. Okay. So I'm invested and pissed. It is bananas. It's a wild ride. So everything I'm going to talk about from now on, I want to preface with allegedly because the trial hasn't happened. They pleaded not guilty. So they're presumed innocent by the law.

So this is all allegedly but this is basically what happened um okay so this is a really extreme and bizarre case because the abuse was being done to multiple children by two parents which is rare because usually child abuse is typical when there's one child and the fact that as far as authorities can tell no one has ever reported the family to the police or child services in the past um so i'm going to start from the beginning david allen probably a good place to start david allen turpin uh was born october 17 1961 and louise anna turpin was born October 17, 1961 and Louise Anna Turpin

was born May 24, 1968 they were married in 1985 in Parisburg, Virginia don't do this to Virginia what is with all the Paris P-E-A-R-I-S look I don't claim to be a part of that part of Virginia

Parisburg yeah so they were married when David was Look, I don't claim to be a part of that part of Virginia. Parisburg. Yeah, so they were married when David was 23 and she was 16. Okay, flag one. Yeah, they eloped and pissed off her father, who was a pastor named Wayne. Also not surprised. Yeah. According to his parents, David Turpin is a computer engineer who graduated from Virginia Tech.

Don't do that to Virginia Tech. His 1979 high school yearbook listed him as the treasurer of the Bible Club, co-captain of the chess club, and a member of the science club and a cappella choir. Just for fun facts. Oh, love a good fun fact. Louise Turpin's occupation is listed in court documents as homemaker. That's all the fun facts she gets apparently okay um the couple are adherents of the quiverful movement there it is i was wondering if they were quiverful and pentecostalism so you know what quiverful is i do okay so i don't think everybody does because i didn't know about it until i listened to my friend's podcast dude that's fucked up which my friend nicole and her friend aaron did an

episode on the quiverful christian movement um and it's just like it blew my mind and then i saw some people post in their private facebook group like oh i, I grew up in a Quiverful household. So it was fascinating. Low-key culty. Yeah. So basically, for those of you who don't know, Quiverful is a movement of conservative Christian couples that sees children as a blessing from God and encourages procreation while abstaining from all forms of birth control. So they basically live by the slogan, be fruitful and multiply.

They believe that... Well, because they're building God's army. Basically, yeah. So that's why they want to procreate as much as they can. They believe that the devil deceives Christian couples into using birth control so that children that God otherwise willed to create are prevented from being born. And they maintain that God himself opens and closes the womb of a woman on a case by case basis. Jesus Christ. Okay.

No, he is nothing. He stays. Oh, right. It's just the devil. No, God does the womb. Jesus keeps his hands off, you know. Jesus has other things to worry about. But God himself is opening and closing it up. He's the OBGYN, apparently. He's like things to worry about but god himself is opening and closing the obgyn apparently he's like i thought about it too yeah it doesn't work does it he's the obgyn

this is not gonna work nope uh yeah he's like the gatekeeper though apparently he just opens and closes it by will whatever i don't really know what that means but uh obviously the most famous case that embraces this ideology is the duggar family of 19 kids and counting um they've said they're not formally quiverful christians but their ideology kind of mirrors the principles of it they also are yeah so yes i actually regularly keep up with um counting. I know. You told me this. I do. It kind of weirds me out, but I'm just going to let it go. I'm going to let you and your weird hobbies go.

Thank you. Look, it's them and the Kardashians. So I've got like one on each. What's wrong with you? I've got one on each spectrum. No, they're all just reality shows. I know, but like I've got like the polar opposites. Oh, God. I'm somewhere in between the insanity of both.

Oh, my God. No. The insanity. There's no normal in between the insanity of both oh my god no the insanity there's no normal in between there it's just like it's just a blur the full spectrum just a blur of chaos a big circle yes oh my god anyway so the turpins homeschooled their children um and their homeschooling involved memorizing the bible i mean i went to Catholic school, so it's not far off, but let's move on. Louise Turpin's half-brother, Billy, told several news organizations that his sister... Wait, I just accidentally clicked on Fort Worth, Texas. What's happening?

Okay. Do you hear my stomach? Yeah, I do hear it. It's so weird. I'm sorry. I don't know what's going on. Christine made me spaghetti with pasta. Spaghetti with pasta. Jesus, what's wrong? Am I having a stroke? Spaghetti with pasta sauce. Christine made me a stroke. Louise Turpin's half-brother, Billy Lambert, told several news organizations that she had aspired to have a reality tv show focusing on their large family well it's already happened so sorry well she thought they were like

her role models or something yeah okay okay um who's like well no this is like the one that like it becomes abusive as shit right yes okay so that's why i like oh yes okay i understand what you're saying yes Yes. Um, I thought you were saying that Duggar family was not, I'm like, no, just compared yourself to them moments ago. Okay. So as far as,

um, investigators and media can tell the couple, um, lived, owned property or had lived in, um, Fort Worth, Texas for a while.

And while they were living there, they lived there, I think for 19 a while and while they were living there they lived there i think for 19 years and while they were living in texas one of the girls actually escaped the first time um she tried to run away but the police brought her home and no further investigation was done uh they moved out in 2010 because they had trashed the house so bad it was unlivable um and after they moved out neighbors visited the property uh and the landlord to like look around this is upsetting they found feces throughout the home beds with ropes tied to them several dead cats and dogs in a trailer and large piles of garbage around the property um one of the neighbors found two chihuahuas on the property who had survived by eating dirty diapers for like weeks shit and um

the dirty diapers were just piled up in the back of the ford one ford f-150 and the chihuahuas had survived just eating them and so they were rescued but there were other dead cats and dogs that the family just left there in the trailer you know what's weird and horrible to me is if i were a dog in that trailer and surrounded by dead dogs it's like you can't even explain to them what's happening or what's going on that's why it's so fucking tragic it really upsets me yeah so they just left them there psycho so um they went into the house and saw that the living room had been fashioned into a makeshift classroom that was covered in feces and excrement they noticed that everything had locks on it the closet the toy chest the refrigerator

and there were no beds, just mattresses. So they moved out and moved to California. And the neighbors never notified authorities. They just had it cleaned up. Even with all the dead cats and dogs, I'd be like, something really wrong is happening. You'd be like, these are parents of multiple children. Yeah, exactly. Like a dozen children live in this house with shackles on the walls yeah but okay um so in california so they moved to california um and neighbors always

thought like some they were strange but never really knew i mean never obviously knew what was going on in the house um they were really discreet and kept to themselves one of the neighbors saw that three of the turpin kids putting up christmas decorations one year um and she said uh this is what she said we said oh the decorations look so nice and they froze like when young children want to divert a threat they think they can pretend to be invisible that was the last time the family ever put out christmas lights so like they couldn't even neighbors were like they're just strange kids like they won't talk to us um so over time the abuse of the children escalated the children were only allowed one shower a year and were only allowed to eat one meal a day they would be punished for washing their hands too much and if they washed their hands above the wrist, they'd be accused of playing in the water.

And their punishment would include being physically abused, sometimes strangled. And they were often punished for weeks or months at a time. They were initially hogtied with ropes to their beds. But when one escaped, they began to use chains and padlocks. And they often refused to let the children out to use the bathroom so the kids were obviously severely malnourished the 29 year old weighed 82 pounds fuck but the parents would sometimes set out food like they would make pies and then just set them in front of the kids while they were chained up for them to look at

but not eat um the house was also filled with toys in their original packaging so that the kids could see them but not play with them that's just like another level of like so fucking mean fucking torture um a neighbor back in texas said that that one Christmas they had bought the kids eight new children's bicycles, but left them outside and they were never touched until they just got bleached in the sun, brand new kids bikes, and they just never got touched. So none of the children had ever been to a dentist. They hadn't been to a doctor in more than four years. Um, they kept a strict schedule of sleeping

all day and being awake all night to limit their interaction with the public keep in mind this is like now like this just got discovered it's just crazy to think that your neighbor could be like this could still be fucking happening yeah exactly one of the older boys took classes at a nearby community college but his mom like chaperoned him there and back and like waited for him outside so he couldn't tell anyone anything yeah yeah how do you think he even convinced her to like i mean i i don't know i guess at that point you're kind of just under their control you know like weird i don't know but like but it's like imagine like smart remember like they would just take her places and yeah but i imagine like in the middle of always being hogtied like how do you say like hey i know i can't eat that pie in front of me but can you pay for me to go to a

college classroom like i mean it was probably like something they thought was a good idea like i don't know if it was his idea i see he's like the older son to go yeah gotcha i can see them being like get a job or something i don't know um one of the only things the kids were allowed to do was read and write um authorities found hundreds of journals in the house and they're now being combed through for evidence can you imagine being one of the people who like reads through all these journals that's got to be such a bad job that's twisted um but there were no reports the whole time that they lived in california either the only interactions that police ever had with the family

were in 2001 when the family dog bit the four-year-old daughter and the girl was hospitalized and the dog was put down and then in 2003 their pigs got out and ate the neighbor's dog food but the family just replaced the dog food and the trash can and then police didn't notice anything else awry um so this is another weird one david and louise renewed their vows three times all with the same elvis impersonator in las vegas hmm uh kent ripley who was the elvis impersonator spoke out because they brought all 13 children along to the last two vow renewals um and there's like photos and stuff and he's just horrified that he didn't detect anything and said they were like charming and nice.

And he thought like, oh, they're just a little strange, but they all seem to love each other and the kids were happy and the parents were in love. So he was like, I didn't notice anything. The real question is like, when are you going to tell me that I'm going to be wearing an Elvis costume when I marry you and Blaze? I saw your eyes kind of glaze over for a minute, and you just disappeared there. I was like, oh, let me think about this one. Like, what am I going to do?

Interesting. Blaze, did you know that I'm actually going to be an Elvis impersonator at your wedding? That's cool. See, that's all it takes. So you're down with that? Yeah, why not? See? Elvis is the king of pop. Yep, so am I.

King of rock and roll or something like that. I think Michael Jackson is the king of pop. My Missouri grandmother loves Elvis. Well, then maybe she'll finally love me. Maybe she'll want to come now. Maybe she'll want to come now. Featurings. Starring.

Blazing Elvis. Envis. come now featuring starring blaze melvis emvis no wow i hate that oh i do too and this nope saying it again doesn't help oh lord that's not happening i'm just telling you right now okay we'll talk about it okay we'll talk about it so um that's a new one so there are photos of him of like the parents getting married with elvis and then all 13 kids and all the girls are wearing the same like purple dress with white shoes okay it's really creepy um this and they're all really pale that was the other thing they're like white pale like they're so practically see-through because they never go outside in the daytime um so the 17 year old girl and another sibling had actually been planning their escape for two years

um and she and another sibling left the house the morning of january 14th but one turned back and went home out of fear the younger one but the older girl kept going and called 9-1-1 with the cell phone found inside the house um so when david and louise were finally arrested police were shocked to learn that seven of the 13 children were actually adults the oldest being 29 because they looked so thin and frail like i said she was 80 something pounds despite being 18 or 29 years old um and they look like if you look at them they look like they're young teenagers but they're adults so when they looked into the family's address they noticed

that their house was listed as the sandcastle day school weird all right a private k through 12 school and that david turpin was listed as a principal when they picked when they got all 13 children out of the house they hospitalized them and they were so malnourished, they were at risk of shock. The six minors, who were ages 2 to 17, were transported to the Riverside County Regional Medical Center from the Sheriff's Department, where they were admitted to the pediatric unit for treatment. And then the seven adult children are being treated at the Corona Regional Medical Center. They were described as small and clearly malnourished, but stable, relieved, and very friendly. And as of late February, so like now,

the seven adult children remain at the medical center and the six younger siblings have been split to be cared for between two foster homes. The 17-year-old, when asked if there was medication or pills in the home, didn't know what medication or pills were. They didn't know what a toothbrush was.

And they had to be taught by nurses how to brush their teeth. So sad. David Turpin, oh, they're also being introduced to Harry Potter movies. That's very anti-Quiverful, by the way. I imagine so.

Wow. I imagine so. David Turpin, 56, has also been charged with one count of a lewd act on a child by force. And the alleged victim is one of the Turpin's daughters, but they haven't released any more information beyond that. So that'll come out in the coming weeks, I imagine. any more information beyond that so that'll come out in the coming weeks i imagine um on february 23rd 28 yeah 2018 so last week guys five days ago uh the riverside county district attorney filed an additional three charges of child abuse against the couple and one felony assault charge against louise individually and then they a riverside judge also barred the parents from contacting the children for the next three years, including by phone or electronically.

They can't be within 100 yards of their children or attempt to get their addresses. And if convicted, David and his wife face up to 94 years to life in prison. Should have rounded it to 100. I know. They are being held on bail of 12 million dollars each and are due back in court uh in march and their house has become a tourist attraction which is kind of fucked up like people are peering through the windows and are taking selfies in front of it oh no it's like so fucking twisted um one neighbor said that she was outside and these people were like can you

take a photo of us and they like posed in front of the house so fucking anyway i mean like we're wanting to talk though because we'll go to like a whole bunch of like we'll go to alcatraz and yeah that's true but it's like that's been made into it yeah we're not like seeking it i get no i totally get what you're saying yeah there's a fine line between those i think i think also enough time has passed that it's not raw it's more like history now it's not yeah it's not like a breaking news story where it's like it's like a fucked up history but it's a history yeah this is not yet history it's literally happening yeah yeah and the neighbors have to like deal with it too. Yeah.

Yeah. It's your brother. Oh, delivering tea? Oh man, thanks. All right. He just brought me sweet tea. He bowed too. Oh, I saw the bow.

I liked it. I also like your hair. It's growing out. Why are you complimenting him so much? I like him more than you. I mean. I liked it. I also like your hair. It's growing out. Why are you complimenting him so much? I like him more than you. I mean, I know that. I do like your hair that length.

Are you cutting it again soon or no? No. Good call. No, I am not. Can you get out of my face? All right, we're done with you.

Why is it so dark in here? We were trying to make a, make a mood lighting. It's working. Thank you. Get out of here. Thank you for my glass of sweet tea. Such a gent. Listen.

Ah, he did a wink and a point. Why did he do that? If he winks one more time, I swear to God. I love it. He's like Lurch from The Addams Family, but like happy and bubbly. I don't even. He's like. I've never seen that show.

Stop it. I know. I just cut you off in that by saying I've never seen the show. He's like Lurch before Lurch looked dead. Good. Just give. Lurch is the butler. Oh, I thought Lurch was the big thing with hair all over it.

That's cousin it. Oh, I thought that was the clown the clown there's no clown i just mean it oh shut up no i'm not kidding i thought it is also it is a stephen king i know that named pennywise oh pennywise ew what a fucking cousin it is a literally just a giant it has all the hair animated hair yes and then there's the thing which is just the hand that's cut off at the wrist that runs around. It's like their pet. That's so creepy. Fun fact about the Addams Family, the whole set was actually bright pink instead of black and white. But because it was a black and white camera, they needed to pick up on different shades of gray.

Wait, are you serious? Yeah, Google it right now. It's worth it. Wait, so they made it pink it was pink because the camera was only picking up black and white but they wanted multiple shades of gray so it's all multiple shades of pink holy crap yep fiction in fact from m's almanac why why are you doing that let's just talk about the tarpons again did you hear that what'd you say blaze approves oh my god that's all i've ever happening here today

why can't everybody just shut up what is going on m should tell all the jokes blaze quote bla I'm going to have to talk to you later. He should have finished the sentence with, at the wedding. No, Em should do all the singing. No, no. If you want to be Elvis. What if I juggle as Elvis with a red nose while I'm also marrying you guys and telling all the jokes? I think it'd be quite a sight.

I think even I want to see that actually i can't say no okay so let's get back to this fucked up shit okay so the case has moved people around the world to donate about 570 000 to support and keep in mind it's been like a month to support the children's medical expenses education etc um some of the donation oh and offers of adoption have also come in from all over the world that's good which is really sweet that's really heartwarming that's at least comforting the neighborhood has put to like the neighborhood that they lived in um a lot of people were just upset that they didn't notice anything worse was happening i'd

feel like shit too yeah i'd be like i can't believe that happened so close to me i didn't know right so a lot of them feel really guilty but they put together 13 large duffel bags with toiletries hand crocheted blankets toys and all the necessities um and they're hoping to give the bags to the children as soon as they're released from Child Protective Services. That's awesome. And the president and CEO of the Corona Chamber of Commerce has also done a lot to help them. He said that one of the things the hospital has said is that the kids would like to have an iPad or something to, like, learn more about the world. Yeah, I mean, can you imagine having to learn the whole—you don't even know what a toothbrush is.

Someone hands you an iPad? What are you going to do with that? I know. Oh my God. So he took that request to his Rotary Club, and in one minute, 13 people stood up and said they were buying iPads for the kids. One minute, wow. Yeah. So he said he was even approached last Thursday by a homeless man who pulled $2.38 from his pocket

to give to the kids. God, that's so heartwarming. I know. And apparently he said, I want to give this to the kids. And he said, no, you need that. And then the kid, the homeless man said, I want those kids to know people all over the world are praying for them. Oh, God, that is just, if that doesn't get you in the heart nothing well i know um so last thing

i want to say is that there's a great time magazine article or a piece by ma julienne who was held in captivity by her father for 18 years and she wrote about this case and it's basically like how this happened yeah for so long and she said people are shocked that it happened for so long but she knows it can because it happened to her and she is now a psychotherapist and she is she explains how people were able to overlook it or miss it from a psychological perspective and she also wrote a memoir called the only girl in the world that is now on my bucket list of books to read but um yeah so that's the case of the Turpin family, and it's ongoing, and let's hope some justices served.

Yes. Yes. Served cold. Yes, indeedy. All right. Good one. Thanks. I mean, horrible.

Yeah. Okay. Everyone send your good vibes to all of them, please. Yes, please. Do you have a geoscope? No. It's kind of needed. I'll pull one up real quick.

All right, so I found a geoscope. Ready? A new creative project of some kind, perhaps involving modern technology, could set your career in a new direction, Scorpio. This may be the break you've been hoping for, and you're apt to be very excited about it. Any new enterprise begun today is going to have its ups and downs, but all signs indicate that it will succeed. Consider the project carefully before making a decision.

Then if it feels right, go for it. This is Gio's campaign initiative to move in with me he's like i think it'll work i think i can do it no it's his instagram profile oh there it is oh he's so handsome and so sweet oh my god he's not moving away from me don't say that do you know how sweet he was when i was trying to get my notes done he literally just plopped right down next to me and didn't leave for a very long time. Such a good boy. He went to the vet today,

and he got three shots that made him sleepy, and he had an orange bandage on his paw. And that's why he drinks. Yes. Aw, BBG. But he's beginning a new enterprise with technology. Apparently. Just saying.

He's quite the entrepreneur. Yeah, the vet was very impressed. Quite the internet conglomerate. That really is something in la i would say when i take my dog to the vet like oh he has a new technological enterprise it's okay it's it's really bustling it's climbing up there his star sign said it so that is the la that's the la part my dog star signs telling me that he's got like a technology advancement coming that part's more like a technology advancement coming this way. That part's more like Silicon Valley. It's kind of like a fusion. Yeah.

Anyway. Well, that was fun. Oh, the plane wanted to come by. It's mine. Maybe that's Geo's technological advancement. Oh, his own little launch pad. All right. All right.

Well, thank you guys for listening. Sorry for just probably ruining your appetite with those. You can find us on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram at ATWWD Podcast. You can also find our website at andthatswhywedrink.com. You can find our

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And that's why we drink. We did it.