And That's Why We Drink - E61 A Human Lazy Susan and the Bloody Brunch

Episode Date: April 6, 2018

Listen. Are you ready for Em’s story? We're pretty sure you're not, but we’ll tell you anyway. It’s the Squirrel Cage Jail of Pottawattamie County in Council Bluffs, Iowa. Christine was SO ready, she kinda-sorta fell asleep during it, but only because wine. Once Christine wakes up, she covers the krazy story of Leonarda Cianciulli, who fed her favorite son some…questionable…tea cakes. Go to DAILY-HARVEST.COM and enter promo code DRINK to get three items FREE off your first box! Night Call is available now on Apple Podcasts and all other listening destinations. Drop them a line with your night call at 2-4-0-4-6-NIGHT and they'll offer their best advice on life, love, and the coming apocalypse. Visit Stamps.com/drink for a 4-week trial PLUS postage AND a digital scale without longterm commitments.

But how are you feeling? About what? Like, life. Um. I'm okay. Why do you drink? I drink because, you guys, guess what? We are going live for real this time.

For real. Yes. For real. Can everyone hear my heart palpitating? Can anyone hear me screaming into their eardrums? Because we set a live show the other day. We got a booking agent who's wonderful. His name's Andrew.

And he set up a show at the hollywood improv to see you know like to do like a test run and it sold out in less than 24 hours because you guys are fucking amazing and then he was like we gotta set a second show so we've never even mentioned this on the podcast because we didn't have a chance but now we have a second show june 17th in los angeles and then guess what guys what he's probably not gonna listen to this i don't think he listened to our podcast okay but then he said can you send me a list of like the other demographics of what cities listen to your podcast so i can like take a look oh man so guys if our shows sell out we can start expanding to other cities

and i know a lot of people have been like portland austin texas austin canada yeah yeah australia whatever you know so we are trying to do that but in order to do that we the ball is slowly rolling slowly right now yeah we're pushing it now. Yeah, we're pushing it. We need you to help get the ball rolling. We're pushing it. You're pushing it. Andrew is helping us greatly. We sold out one show.

If we sell out this other show in Los Angeles. Where is it? At the Hollywood Improv, June 17th at 730. We have a couple tickets left as of right now for the show in May, on May 20th. And Renata's coming to town tim and my little sister are coming to town so you know you better be there if you want to see drunk allison she'll be there uh yeah m is constantly having I've been in a... Oh, maybe that is why I drank this week.

Because I've been in a 24-hour panic attack. And a lot of people have messaged me saying... Is M okay? Is M okay? Tell M not to be too worried. And I'm like, I've told M that, and it doesn't work. It doesn't work. It's an irrational fear.

It's not irrational. It's not an irrational fear. True. But I just want you to know that it's going to be fucking dope. I just need everyone to laugh really hard. And just I need some affirmation from you guys. I think I have a fear of it being way silent up there. But I feel like it already sold out one show.

There's no way it's going to be silent. Like, that's insane. There's no talking me down from this. Okay. You're right. Em's on a gigantic bridge. I'm. Oh yeah.

We can't talk him off of it. And then I, uh, I get my first, uh, round of anti-anxiety medication next week. So hopefully the fear will be gone. Uh, I also, um, recommended my psychiatrist to Em. Yes. Actually, Christine set up the entire appointment for me. I was like, go to your car right now and get your health insurance card. We are figuring this out.

So as of April 4th, I should be in a much better place. You will be because my psychiatrist helped me through a lot. And she's great. And I think that you will really like her and she will helped me through a lot and she's great and I think that you will really like her and she will help you through a lot um speaking of things that are just distressing oh god nobody understood my whale sounds a lot of people had a lot to say about that here's the problem I didn't realize until yesterday that the issue was that I had edited it and then I had moved because I inserted an ad. So it moved a lot of the content.

So the whale sounds started like way earlier. Oh, my God. Because I was like, well, I just mentioned the whale sounds. Why does nobody get the whale sounds? But then I realized that like they started like three minutes before i ever it didn't occur to me either because i recorded the whole thing with you so i heard you say oh just put in whale sounds so then as i'm at work and i hear the whale sounds come up i'm like oh my god she fucking did it but i didn't notice that they didn't come on

guys there are whales everyone's like why is there a whistling noise it's whale sounds because like i said in the episode some people got it some people didn't i'm sorry i fucked it up sorry i'm sorry i don't know what else to tell you everyone's all upset about it okay so should we like put in whale sounds no i'm over the whale sounds because nobody appreciated them okay i will say a couple of my friends did appreciate it and knew what was going on. Thank you. Some people messaged me too and were like, that was CK was like, I can't believe you put in whale sounds is fucking brilliant. And I was like, someone gets it. And then 99% of people were like, what the fuck is that horrible?

Oh my God. And then I felt like a dummy. Um, also before we forget crime con, we still are going May 4th through May 6th. Nashville. Nashville, Tennessee. And if you use our promo code ATWWD, you would be helping us and you'd get to see us. And you get to see us. And you get a discount on your ticket.

And you get to see our moms. Yep. You're welcome. We'll both be there. Francisco, my little sister, will be there. Also, you will get a gift. We've had a couple people email saying they've used our code. If you email us, you will get a special gift for using our code.

And also, we finally fixed Google Play. It may or may not have been my fault, even though I kept just yelling at Google Play about it. But I fixed it. right they're all there so I've gotten a lot of emails being like it's finally back and I'm like oh what a surprise but it was me I fixed it sorry actually I was trying to think I will I'm gonna go back about five conversations ago to me and my nerves ready uh-huh can you not yawn that'd be nicer yes i'm ready um so i was thinking that if we wanted to do a little facebook post of uh things that i think one of my fears is i want to make sure that everyone has a good time so if you guys wanted to post like ideas of things that we should do in addition to you know telling you all a good story wait in nashville or just in general no like during our

live show oh well we have we have like a ton of like live show ideas is that what you mean yeah but i want like i want to see who's going and what they're hoping for because here's what i'm thinking t-shirt canon i mean duh duh duh second slip and slide where who cares i care parking lot no i don't i don't approve that slip and sides really hurt but i am i am serious about a t-shirt cannon i want to know what people okay but but but are we talking crime con are you talking la like la oh la show yes i keep forgetting that we're also doing a live show in nashville yeah we're also doing a live show in nashville yeah that's happening actually let's just make a t-shirt can a thing that we do everywhere i feel like that's a good idea but also like not uh we'll talk about later okay okay okay um go this story i'm so powerful um this story also i do want to say um last week i before i tell you

about my story last week uh i cleaned the studio and i found some very interesting things oh no this place oh no um a couple pictures which i did not take pictures of with my phone oh of you as a teenager oh what yeah what do you mean you had a lot of weird shit in here okay um i'm not posting them anywhere i'm just saying no one asks you oh you have my sassy the clown picture i'm allowed to have something just to hold you hold you true where did find that? It was in a plastic bag somewhere, and then I put them in a box. Ah, fuck. Do you know what I'm talking about? No.

By plastic bag, I mean like a trash bag. What the fuck are you talking? No. You had a lot of things stored in trash bags. You know what? I'm not judging you. I'm just letting you know where things were. Also, my favorite thing I found here was a Teletubby stuffed animal.

It's Lala, the yellow Teletubby. And if you tickle Lala's stomach, she coos and caws. Here's the thing. My stepdad thinks he's really funny and he mails me weird shit. And I put it in a bag for donations and then I'm like cleared out the trash bag of donations. And it's currently sitting right between us on a table. And my mom was like, oh, yeah, give it to Gio. And I was like, no, it's full sitting right between us on a table and my mom was like oh yeah give it to geo and i was like no it's full of fucking electronic wires i'm not giving it to geo that's a good point

but i was thinking there's no purpose for that in here but then i was like you know what this room is where we tell really spooky stories it is spooky it is like that's like a furby but yeah but so wait so where did you put the bag of all the donations where that was in? That was the only donation in that bag. No, there was a lot of shit in that bag. Like what? I mean, I don't know. Donations.

Anything that's not in here is in that box next to your van. All right. You know what? I'm cleaning the room and I need to just be. I just wanted to say that there's now a Teletubby in our room thank you for being thank you Tim thank you Tim Tim thank you for that fucking stupid Teletubby you got a Kroger where Kroger Kroger in the clearance aisle wow clearance indeed uh the last thing he bought me from the Kroger clearance aisle was um a spatula it says lots of matzah

and it's a Passover spatula maybe everyone should just start going to their neighborhood kroger and go to your clearance rack and then buy christine something they do have a good clearance rack and tim usually buys the passover theme which is weird because we're all catholic uh but like he buys they have a um passover Passover activity kit. Okay. And it just has all the plagues. All the plagues? Yeah, in sticker format.

Listen, he buys it all. What? That's awesome. It's great. And so he bought me the lots of matzah, which is my favorite spatula. And then he found a teletubby. It's fine. You know, my favorite Jewish trinket, tchotchke, if you will, if we're going full Yiddish here.

Dreidel. No, not dreidel. Trotsky. But it's not a dreidel. No. Okay. Is, you know, like Elf on the Shelf. Oh, my God.

Yes. Mench on a Bench. He's so good. I love him. Fuck Elf on a Shelf. I love a good Mench on a Bench. Mench on a Ben i love a good mention on a bench is the like i don't care what religion my children are but we're gonna do mention on a bench and not he just looks so jolly

man he's he's a good time he like knows what he's doing too he's a mensch he's a mensch on a different level he's like elf on a shelf also elves not really my style. But like whose style really are elves? Elvish? I don't know. Elven people? Hobbits? I'm not sure. I'm sorry for offending you, but Elf on a Shelf, when I was little, my mom, my great, my step grandmother bought one for my little sister and my mom and I were both like, we're not participating in this. And we felt kind of rude because my step-grandma from upstate new york was like no it's fun and it teaches them morals my mom was like i'm not gonna pretend this

creepy elf is like pooping on the shelf shelf what i the one that i have in my house is the one that i think my mom had since she was little so it's like it just looks like it's from the 60s around that long it looks like it's a new thing i don't think it is i googled elf on the shelf origin that's what i'm talking about this is the one show me oh oh no see i was right oh no it is from the 60s this is the one this is the exact one i'm talking about oh i don't like that one but it definitely looks old also this one's also a devil so that kind of defeats the purpose i think it's like a grampus kind of move yikes um yeah fuck elf on the shelf so mensch on a bench mensch on a bench is what are we what are we emma on a

what are we what are we m on a gem on a gem christine on a bean bean m m on m i don't like this game i can't think of anything that rhymes with my name m on a phlegm phlegm and christine on a spleen okay oh my god i don't know clean next christina clean next christine x christine x on a clean x is gonna teach you about how to blow your nose so you fucking are clean when you have a cold and have morals oh by the way let's talk hang on i'm not santa's gonna bring i'm not done santa is only gonna bring you toys if you clean your sinuses what are you gonna talk about now we have a co-worker right now who's sick oh and does that thing where like when you sneeze like it just like it just like goes everywhere oh god and i'm like not just cover your no not just cover your fucking face but like also why the fuck are you at work i just it bothers me so much and she's sick right now and

i'm just i'm a hypochondriac by heart so i'm telling myself i'm sick and i'm not christina x on a kleenex does not approve also do you what who what what the hell are you sure this person doesn't listen to the podcast i know person doesn't listen to the podcast? I know she doesn't listen to the podcast. Here's just a PSA, guys. If you're sick, don't go to work. At least don't go to work where I go to work because I don't want to catch the damn germs. I don't care if you need to pay the bills.

I don't want to get sick and I'm selfish. Oh, okay. You heard it here first. Yeah. It's all about me, guys. I'm a selfish asshole. Yes. Anyway, since it's all about me, lend me your ears.

God, just start talking. That's what everyone's been saying for the last 10 minutes, so I'll appease them. Okay. I've been holding off on this one because I wanted to use it on a day when I was down. Oh, my. And I am still about three or four days out of being on anti-anxiety medication. So I'm a little down. So...

Oh my, I'm sorry. Anyway, this is going to cheer me up purely because of the name. I'm sorry you're down. Thank you. But I'm not going to be down after this because I know the story is going to give me lots of chuckles because you're going to have a lot of good commentary. Am I right? I'm so ready. Get your wine ready. It is. Because this is this story is going to give me lots of chuckles because you're going to have a lot of good commentary. Am I right? I'm so ready.

Get your wine ready. It is. Because this is the story of the Squirrel Cage Jail in Pottawatomie County of Council Bluffs, Iowa. Literally nothing you said is real. I'm sorry. Hold on. I stopped breathing. Say it again.

The Squirrel Cage Jail. No, no, no, no, no, no. What? The Squirrel Cage Jail of Pottawatomie County in Council Bluffs, Iowa. Hold on. Did you have to practice saying that over and over again? Pottawatomie? Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's spelled exactly how it sounds. Pottawatomie County. Hippopotamus. What is happening? What is this? Explain explain yourself it's the story of the scroll cage too explain yourself now the scroll cage jail should i just say the whole thing every time

no uh please don't i don't think that my like my just brain complexion can handle it okay go on uh so the scroll cage jail uh was built in 1885 and was used until by the way that was the year that marty mcfly went back in time anyway so is it yes it's the actually the year of the whole third movie so you should be ready for that if you were to ever the whole 30 movie the whole third movie oh the whole 30 christine that's you not me you said the Whole30 movie. I was like, Freudian. I'm in that movie. I'm the tortured protagonist of that movie. Yeah, I mean, Christine X on a Kleenex. So it was built in 1885 and used until 1969. And in 1971

it was bought by the Council Bluffs Park Board, which sounds like something Leslie Knope developed. Ah, I was going to say Parks and Rec. For sure. The Council Bluffs Park Board, which sounds like something Leslie Knope developed. Ah, I was going to say Parks and Rec! For sure. The Council Bluffs Park Board so that it would be preserved and the next year it became a National Historic Landmark. Up until then, its official name was the Historic Pottawatomie County Squirrel

Cage Jail. Amazing. Can you imagine anything more haunted? I mean, I can't imagine anything more suited for my lifestyle i am very mad that it's not just haunted by squirrels well i mean i at this point i'm just assuming it is but i guess you're gonna ruin my actually chip and dale are the poltergeists of this story so just get ready for that oh oh chip and dale not the chip and dales no like chip and dale like our childhood oh i thought you meant chip and dale like our adult life half naked men oh just

half naked chipmunks actually wow i don't know how to feel about that one wears a uh like a detective outfit and the other wears a hawaiian shirt and nothing else why haven't they made like an adult chip and dales with that being the situation because it's highly upsetting to everyone well people wearing hawaiian shirts is pretty upsetting so here we go with the historic pottawatomie county squirrel cage jail of council bluffs iowa gee how many times did you say that i said it all day i said it all day. To practice it. I said it all day. You got to. So there's, this jail is very unique. If we can't tell already. Duh.

Because it is one of 18 jails to have a specific architectural design. One of 18 jails ever? Ever. Okay. And out of those 18, only three exist now. Oh. The others have been torn down over time. exist now oh the others have been torn down over time but there is a squirrel cage jail in missouri and indiana as well as this one um and this is in iowa this is in council bluffs

iowa of pottawatomie county oh sure it is um can you imagine if i'm not saying any of that right we're gonna get so many pissed off you're saying you saying so many hippopotami are gonna be just furious so uh there's only there have only been 18 of them uh but this one is the only one that was ever created that was three stories tall oh so every other one was just like a one floor squirrel cage jail they call it a squirrel cage jail okay i was gonna say please tell me what fuck you're talking about i went through the whole story and didn't explain that i would have yelled at you a lot so it's called a squirrel cage jail because the cells in there um is kind of messed up but it was called back then it was considered a human lazy susan which there are lazy humans named susan i'm sure

so i got thrown the first time i read that but like a lazy susan like like the like the plate in your kitchen or whatever okay but so okay imagine a cake is on a lazy Susan. Imagine cutting it up into 30 slices. And each of those slices, instead of being cake, is a jail cell. I'm sorry, what? I know. Hold on. You just really threw me for a loop. Okay.

So every slice of cake is a jail cell. Yes. Got it. So it's on a, essentially a merry-go-round. It's a jail, it's a several jail cells. I'm sorry, it's a what? A merry-go-round essentially a merry-go-round it's a jail it's a several jail cells i'm sorry it's a what a merry-go-round a merry-go-round what do you say merry-go-round okay i carousel say it say it again merry-go-round oh jesus okay let's not go there i'm sorry it's me zipper cooter by the way so um okay so a cake of jail cells yes okay got it yes um so it's on a it's a giant

lazy susan as the floor of i don't know how to do this right no you're doing great the floor is a lazy susan uh-huh and the floor is controlled by a hand crank that the officer uses. So he can crank the floor to spin so he can circle the cages around to get to whatever cage he wants facing him. But there are people in the cages, not squirrels. Yes. Why is it called a squirrel? Because since this is the only one that has three floors, looks like like each chunk built up on top of each other looks like like a cage for like a bird or a squirrel oh my so it looks like a giant bird

cage essentially well i don't think okay i'm not gonna ask any more questions no i would i mean i just don't understand why i've never heard of a squirrel cage me either but this was also in 1885 so i don't know what kind of pets they were keeping back then sugar bush this is actually the story of the sugar bush cell it would really upset me if sugar bush were in a prison i bet you there's a picture of sugar bush as a prisoner oh for sure cleaning up the highway okay so i get it so all these people were in these little prisons and then the hand crank turned around like a lazy season of jail cells yes wow so they could only open up one door at a time so if they wanted someone in the back that they couldn't get to they would hand crank it until

it spun to that particular cell so they could open up the door that is just so strange okay do you want to google a picture so you're on board with me because someone else is doing it right now i mean i feel like i get it but i'll google it um just squirrel what's it called squirrel cage squirrel cage jail oh my okay yep okay okay so it's it's it's it is truly oh this is upsetting it's like circular cages. It really looks like cages for animals and full-size for human. Okay. Okay. It's everything I dreamt it would be.

Except without squirrels or sugarbush. Except like... Or cake. Way less exciting. So actually it's nothing I wanted. It's all the good things were removed. So in 1881, it was designed by William Brown and Benjamin Ha. Whatever that means.

Ha? Ha-ha. How do you spell that? Like laugh with an H. Half? Benjamin Half? Ha-ha-ha-ha. I don't know if you do the throat thing.

Okay, so they designed it in 1881. It cost them $730 oh my it was 30 000 back then but i've inflated it to today's money which is almost three quarter of a million dollars okay um and they were quoted saying our unique jail has three floors of revolving pie-shaped cells inside of one cage nice the object of our invention is to produce a jail in which prisoners can be controlled without the necessity of personal contact between them and the jailer it is for maximum security with minimum jailer attention if a jailer can count on his hand then he can control the entire jail it was supposed to be like so the common denominator of people could control a mass group of people without even having to touch them what the fuck

so the cells fun fact you can like do tours at this place oh sure the cells fun fact i mean it's what's more fun uh and it looks exactly as it did in 1969 and if you go into the cells you can still see the inmates signatures and dates that they scratched into the walls oh creepy um like i said of the 18 jails only three remain and this is also the only three-story one that ever existed wow so the first superintendent that worked there his name was jm carter and he oversaw the building and also spent the longest time working there as a jailer also his family lived in the apartment above on the fourth floor so they lived on top of the squirrel cage oh yuck um and then other people after him also lived up there but they got good rent though yeah can you imagine probably what would zillow have to say it looks like a really

reduced rate but it's actually because maximum security prisoners are underneath you in a carousel cage but it's fine great schools are nearby just ignore the hand crank that sometimes turns oh my god how horrible um so in its early days it was originally supposed to just be a holding cell for like people on death row so they were never supposed to be there long term it was just like they're supposed to just be held there until they have their trial date or whatever right um and the last two men to ever be hanged in iowa stayed at the squirrel cage jail fun fact the last two men meant to ever be hanged in iowa yeah oh wow okay i said fun fact and then hated myself so not fun fact i wanted to just drop attention back to that statement

yeah i don't know what i was doing you're welcome um so okay so like i said the main point of this was just so that the jailer could spin all of the inmates around so that he could only had to access one at a time right and then there were three floors so i guess there were technically three entryways and he just managed all three floors um the so by the 1960s um which is right around the time that it started shutting down, since it was just like one giant metal turntable, essentially, it was starting to become frequently stuck. Oh. So because, I mean, it was so heavy and it was on a bunch of like gears to be able to spin. And for almost 100 years it was working, it was starting to like slow down be too heavy and

it was breaking so it was getting stuck a lot whoa so it just seemed to not be like like an effective like effective so that was one of the main reasons that they decided to stop um to like transfer everyone to a different jail wow but i mean it was also like a very cruel and unusual way to keep um to house prisoners. Because even though they were only supposed to be there originally for, like, a holding period, it turned into, like, actual sentences were there. So, ways that it was, like, really fucked up for them to be living there is that the confinement was super small. It was that, like, the cells were eight feet tall and seven feet long. So it was basically just standing in a box of your height.

Yuck. The walls were solid, so you couldn't see or communicate with the prisoners next to you. Bathing facilities were located outside of the circle, so every person had to individually bathe, and you would crank it to pull everyone out to go go shower the cots had no sheets only blankets there was no ventilation and the floor was made of iron so during the summer or winters it was either cold enough to freeze you or hot enough to like burn you literally burn you um holy shit also also the prisoners ran the risk of amputation because if

they're like sticking their arms out of the like sticking their arms out of the window and like the very rare chances that they're actually the door oh shit so they get turned and then they yeah like if they're if they're just like finally enjoying like getting to see something outside of solid walls oh no and they stick their arms out or anything like, finally enjoying, like, getting to see something outside of solid walls. Oh, no. And they stick their arms out or anything like that while they have, like, the open access cell where they can look out of the bars. If they keep their arms out and then all of a sudden the jailer downstairs wants to turn the cell, if they, like, fall asleep with their arm out, their arm would get cut off. How fucking awful. Did that happen?

Yeah. Oh, my God. That's why it became a risk oh my god how awful um also since there was only one exit for every 30 cells and like they had it had to be manually cranked by the jailer for each of them to leave it was like the exact opposite of a fire safety like a fire code that was oh like if there was a fire someone was gonna have to hand crank all 30 of them out just like one by one oh my god yeah um so yeah the single exit was not suitable in the event of a fire um the only good thing that came out of the life of these prisoners was apparently the cooking because since the superintendent lived upstairs his wife lived with him and his wife like in the early 1900s she's like

you know not really expected to do much except be domestic so she cooked a lot and she it's quoted her saying i cooked for them like i did for my family i would make roast soup stews good food and we didn't even get anything for it because we were only allowed to spend $2 a day to feed our prisoners. And that's supposed to cover three meals a day. Wow. So she was like, fuck that. I'm just going to cook for them. Seriously.

Good for her. So she was the real hero in this. What a gem. What's her name? I had it and then I deleted it because I didn't think you'd ask me. I think her name was Mary. Such a hero that you deleted her fucking name. An unmarked tale.

Typical M. I know. I know. So there were four people who died in the jail. Three of them were prisoners and one was a police officer. The three prisoners died of one of a heart attack two of a committed suicide of hanging himself oh no and the third was he was trying to write his name on the wall and fell my and that's how he died what so so he fell And then the cop died because there was a farmer's strike in 1932, and 84 people were arrested, and the cells couldn't hold that many people,

so he was afraid that the mob was going to attack him, so he was, like, armed more than normal and accidentally shot himself. Oh, no. So those are all the deaths. Oh, no. Okay, so let's just get into the good stuff now. Please. Okay. i'm now

just going to read a list of things that have happened at the squirrel cage jail of pot of wadamie county i'm on a hippopotamus in council bluffs iowa i cannot wait okay these are in no particular order i probably should have ordered them from least scary to scariest. Sorry. No, I just surprised me. Okay. Bring it on. Whale sounds? No, because obviously that didn't work the first time. And I listened to our audience.

What about wailing, moaning, eerie sounds? Yeah, but that's what everyone was like. Confused. Okay. No. Okay. Sorry. No more.

I tried. Put on your own ambient music. Actually. I fucking put on some Enya in the background on your shower radio and let it play. So, uh, starting off, uh, people would witness unexplained light coming up through the infirmary and they would hear unusual sounds as you walked towards that room to see what the light was. They would hear sounds happening in there until you walked in and nothing would be there. Um, there would be strange light also near the top of the second floor stairway

and also there's no electricity in this thing so if you're seeing light and you don't have a flashlight with you there's no reason to be seeing it um people often see a little girl dressed in entirely gray clothes sitting inside of a cell whose bars are locked so there's no way she could have gotten in or out of there and yet people will regularly see her that's so creepy they think she was the daughter of one of the superintendents who lived there so there's that she'll just sit behind locked bars and can't get out which is weird because she was never arrested. But it's just sad. Like, she's just stuck there. She, uh, people have also reported, uh, feeling great sadness in some of the cells. Obviously.

I wonder why. That's weird. Visitors will also say that they've felt an unseen presence tugging on their clothes like a child would. And then they'll hear a little girl giggle. So that also matches up. Feelings of depression will hit people who have never felt a sadness like that end quote oh my and bill foster is one of the superintendents slash jailers that lived there in the 1950s and he even opted to not live there on the fourth floor like jailers before him quote because of the strange goings on up there oh my he reported hearing people walking around on that floor when he wasn't

upstairs and he was the only one who lived there and he decided to sleep on the second floor that didn't even have a room he just was safer there he felt safer there oh no um there are also full body apparitions that show up on the fourth floor, which is where he said he would hear things. Oh, my God. So not just him, but now paranormal investigators will go up there, and they've seen full-body apparitions where the jailers used to live. And staff have also said, because it's a museum now, fun fact, the staff have said, whatever spirit is present, it's friendly,

and despite the occasional door that opens by itself or strange lights or peculiar noises no one has ever felt frightened or in any danger. I feel frightened and in danger and I'm not even there. The fact that they listed multiple things is what psychs me out. They're like nothing will frighten you. Nothing will frighten you except the occasional door slam or scream in your face or someone tugging on your clothes. Oh my god they're so full of it. So um like I said there's a bunch of odd balls of light that will float around. Cabinet doors will swing open into people. Oh. And uh most of their evidence has been gathered on just the third and fourth floors alone because the fourth floor is where people lived and the third floor is where most of the prisoners were neglected because the jailer didn't want to go up to the third floor how sad um so when it comes to these balls of

light a lot of orbs have also shown up around 25 to 30 one night were caught on film um that corresponded with electromagnetic spikes on emf readers and they also corresponded to abnormal temperature fluctuations on infrared interesting so as soon as they would see a spike they'd turn on the camera and then there would be these really weird orbs that popped up yeah and they weren't just orbs that would shoot across like the things that look like dust flakes yeah yeah they were bright blue balls that would move in a very unique distinct pattern or whatever yeah like almost like it was walking around the room. Ew.

Two investigators felt tugs on their clothes and didn't hear a little girl laugh, but heard a grown man breathe into their ear. Also, there's a lot of EVPs out there that they've caught, so electronic voice phenomenon. Right. They were saying, is anyone here? there's a lot of EVPs out there that they've caught. So electronic voice phenomenon. Right. Um,

they were saying, is anyone here? And there's an EVP of a woman saying I'm right here. Oh no. Um, they have a lot of EVPs of sarcastic laughter as if they're like laughing. Oh, there is a story of a couple investigators talking about signing the guest registry when they leave.

Oh, my God. And someone on EVP later, they listened back and heard someone say, I'll sign for you. Oh, my God. Ew. Another time, a group of investigators were asking someone to go upstairs and get the equipment that they had left up there. Right. And then they played back EVps later that said you can't it's ours now spooky there's another um my favorite the spirit box the one that's not just an evp it

gives you immediate actual immediate audio um crazy so someone said do you want carrie to leave yes or no and immediately the spirit box said yes get out oh my god and carrie was someone that was there carrie was one of the investigators no thank you why would you ask that so it said yes get out and then later carrie actually got a phone call on her cell phone oh no and when she looked at it like instead of there being a name there or like an if you don't have the name put in there'll be a random number um instead of a number being there it was the it was spelled out the words get out no it was like a missed call that went straight

to voicemail it just said get out and it was it only happened a couple minutes after on the spirit box that it said yes get out oh no no no no um also a picture from 2005 uh has shown a like the entity like it looks like a man on the fourth floor office it looks exactly like one of the jailers that worked there from the late 40s to the late 50s it looks exactly like him yuck and um this is probably one of my favorite ones is that the investigators were talking about the history right and one of the people asked like what else the property probably was used what like what else it had been in the past oh boy and then there's video and audio footage of a door swinging open and hitting them and the investigators reacting to it being like oh like i it door the door definitely just hit me yeah and they can't hear it but an evp when they were filming themselves caught later

remember they were talking about their history and what the property used to probably be they listened back to the audio later and an evp when the door hit them said backside of the church and they looked oh they looked up the property later and the jail was directly behind what is now the pottawatomie county annex which used to be an episcopal church until the 1970s fuck what the fuck you want to see the video yes i want to see what video let me see if it works oh my god back of the church oh it's so creepy so this isn't the evp because there were two different videos so this isn't the EVP, but I wanted to show you the... Oh, sorry. No, you're good.

So this is the footage of him getting hit. So the door behind him. Do you want to write that down? Yeah, now it's too dark for the camera to get up. Ah! So that was the door open. What the fuck? And then at this moment, the EVP is all...

And it just closed by itself, too. The time is 12.38. Did it hit? Did it hit? Did it hit? Did it hit? Did it hit? Did it hit?

Did it hit? Did it hit? Did it hit? Did it hit? Did it hit? Did it hit? What the fuck? And then at the same time, the EVP also picked up backside of a church.

What the fuck? So at the same time the evp also picked up backside of a church what the fuck so a couple times so that's there's that um a couple times people have also been shushed when they were being too loud and evp has told has said shut up you're too loud and another one has said shut up i'm trying to sleep how sad is it that you're trying to sleep when you're a ghost? You're like cranky. You've got nothing else to do but sleep in a jail. That's like, if there's such a thing, it's like very much proof that it's residual energy, not intelligent energy. Although it's intelligent enough that it can respond to you. Although it's like you're too loud, so I'm responding, right?

Like I said, people feel heavy, warm breath in their ear as if someone's right next to them. Hot. They'll hear a little girl singing upstairs. And there have been a few times where investigators will be on different floors and they will hear a little girl singing from a closet. No. But all on their own floor. So they'll be like, there's a little girl singing in my closet. And then on the walkie-talkie, they'll be like, no, it's coming from my closet. No. And they'll be like, no, I girl singing in my closet and then on the walkie-talkie they'll be like no it's coming from my closet no and they'll be like no i'm on

the third floor it's coming from my closet and they'll all open the door and no one's there no thank you um this was another cool one one investigator said that she felt someone's she as if someone was there she felt a hand grab the lid of her baseball cap and lift it up and down on her head and then started like annoying her so much with it like lifting it off and slamming it back on her head and people were seeing what's happening and she couldn't get it to stop until she put her hands on the hat to hold it down on her head and then she felt like the hand oh my god from the lid oh my god also uh one of the original jailers has been reported uh like has been interviewed right and he says the um strongest part of evidence for him is that people from all over the world will come to this jail and all of them for the most part will report

something about the little girl and always in the same area of the jail she's like the fact that people are coming from everywhere not knowing the story or only knowing a part of the story confirms it for him and at the end of one interview a manager named ryan was discussing the different deaths that prisoners had had right and at the end he says it's recorded he says that's really all the prisoner deaths we know about not really many of them and at the end of that there's an evp of him saying of a man saying as if which sounds like such like a sassy clarissa explains it all yeah Yeah, exactly. It sounds like such a... What? Like a clueless thing.

The fuck? But some sassy guy from the 1800s is like, as if. I mean, he was ahead of his time, clearly. But also that hints that there were more deaths than we know about. Wow, that's... Bananas. So there's also two ghost cats. Oh!

And these cats meow from different parts of the room and so you'll walk to one side of the room and because you think you're hearing a meow yeah and then when you get to that part of the room you'll hear a meow from behind you and they'll like fuck with you um so it's like one of those things in museums where you can talk into the corner yeah play across the other corner exactly but with cats but also with kitty cats and their ghosts okay got it go scouts easy um others will also say if they feel a cat like they assume it's pitch black and they're investigating so they can't really look but they assume like a stray cat lives there right because they'll be sitting there and feel a cat brushing against their leg oh boy but they know

later that it's not a cat because when they think about it it feels ice cold oh and sometimes the tail will wrap around their leg too tight oh oh god that's the creepy demon cats um one guy also said that he happened to sense that there was a cat there because his allergies started going off so he had like a really bad stuffy nose and itchy eyes and it stayed until he got out of the building and so he was convinced there was a real cat there but when he left all of a sudden someone else started feeling the cold cat running around next to him so apparently you can still get allergies from ghosts oh well that's kind of shitty so next time i have the flu i'm gonna be like no it's just i'm just allergic to the ghost whoops so next time are you allergic

to anything uh i'm allergic to aspartame like okay so next time you have a cold you're just allergic to like the ghost of aspartame no like um right like a like a diet coke you're allergic to diet coke any sort of artificial sweetener the ghost of diet coke makes my throat swell up neat it's real neat so like splenda and shit like that i'm allergic to dairy team milkshake what you know i am with all my throat clearing i mean you say that and then you drink milkshakes anyway so i mean i'm not afraid of a little danger you live on the edge i think i just might got it i would have like a hell's angels motorcycle team but with milkshakes and also i wouldn't want to be a hell's angel so everything except not that i just want a bike that has like a like this that secondary like part sure like a dog can sit in a sidecar a sidecar but i want to

sit in the sidecar with a dog and have someone else driving the motorcycle and i want to drink a milkshake okay so i'll drive okay so i just want a chauffeur actually to drive me and geo around while i drink so blaze will drive because i want to drink a martini okay done. So Blaze will drive and I will drink a martini. So we'll just have two side cars or we're all snuggling in one. Oh my God, that would be so fun. Heaven. Also, there have been a lot of loud noises

that sound like screams and stomps and door slamming. And also people will hear the sound of the cells turning even though they haven't turned since 1969. That's like the sound itself is haunting the place. Oh, it's so creepy. Also, chairs that are propping doors open will fly away as if someone's ripping the chair out from keeping the door open. And the University of Nebraska Omaha has a paranormal society, so why didn't I fucking go there for grad school?

Hell yeah, they do. And they captured a photo of a full-body apparition that some say is just a shadow, but upon brightening up the shadows of the picture, and you can get a better image, it looks very much like there's a person standing there and the people that were actually there that night and took the picture say it'll always be debated on whether it's real or not but i was there i know it was taken and i know who was

there and i know they didn't fake this oh my god yes oh my god do you have a photo of it okay so this is the picture oh my god it already looks creepy i haven't so that's the picture that they took okay okay now then enhanced oh no look at the hand that's a real hand holy shit wait wait so where's that in that main picture so that's behind the this thing it's standing here. So you can kind of see its hand right there. Where's the hand? Oh, no. And then it looks like that. Oh, no.

What do you Google this as? Or how do people find this? Okay, I typed in squirrel cage jail photo zoom. And then the word UNO for University of Nebraska Omaha. UNO. UNO squirrel cage of Nebraska Omaha. UNO. UNO Squirrel Cage Jail Photo Zoom. Sounds like a really fun time. So that's what we have on the Squirrel Cage Jail.

Holy shit! Of Council Bluffs, Iowa and Pottawatomie County. Pottawatomie, Pottawatomie. Walla Walla Bang Bang. Anyway. I want to apologize for falling asleep while recording good morning guys uh it may seem like one episode to you but it's been two days for us today is now friday i fell asleep i was wondering why your reactions were not as loud as normal to my squirrel cage story

and oh that's what it was i was trying to remember what you're saying so guys if we if we sounded a little down yesterday it's because it was like 11 o'clock at night i'm sorry now it's what four or five in the afternoon the next day oh my god i'm sorry guys i really just dropped the ball but i'm back i'm back and i'm awake to be fair Christine and I just had a lot of really good bonding that's true we I came over and hung out with Gio all day and then Christine came home from work and then we watched Bob's Burgers for about three hours and ate large sandwiches ate very large sandwiches it was a great time and now she's got her first cocktail

of the night going I mean it's after's after five. I'm feeling awake. Finally. So it's time to record. So anyway. Anyway. Let's go on. Actually, do we want to redo why we drank now that it's another day? I don't know.

Why do, why did, what, what, what did I say yesterday? I don't know. You were tired. You were sleeping. Oh, why do you drink? I feel like everyone's like, we just heard this a half an hour ago. Well, you know what? It's a new day for us, so it's going to be a new day for everyone. Deal with it.

We're in control of the show. Deal with it. I woke up at Allison's today and had a parking ticket for $73. Oh, fuck. Yay! Anyway. Because you had the day off, so you're not used to probably parking on a weekday. I'm used to

parking on that street and not getting in trouble and yet i did today so whoops well that sucks you drink because you got your notes done i got notes they went well notes from work not like podcast notes oh no yeah and i'm moving i'm hopefully knocking with moving on to my next script soon which is bob's burgers so yay okay yes now we've gotten that out of the way let's go i have a story that i'm so excited to tell you and i'm actually glad that we didn't do it yesterday because i really like this one and i would have not done it well i wouldn't have done it because i would have fallen asleep but i would not have done it justice all right so this So this was sent to me by, sent to us, I guess, by two people, Louisa and Allie.

Okay. Hi, guys. And Louisa actually sent, like, a bunch of links and stuff, which was helpful. And I looked into it and I was like, oh, my, this is startling. This is the story of Leonardo Cianciulli. Cool. startling this is the story of leonarda chanchuli cool so let's just dive into the to the early bird details okay this is a weird experience recording when it's daylight i'm so thrown i'm like i know we don't have any like creepy lighting and i never go first so i'm like i don't know what to do oh yeah i didn't warm you up this is just i haven't even had three sips of my drink yet.

Which is A. I bought this strawberry rhubarb soda from Trader Joe's. It's really good, and then I put gin in it. Also, last night before Christine fell asleep, we also ordered alcohol on Drizzly, and they sent us all the wrong stuff. Yeah. I ordered red wine, and they sent me white wine, and I was like, you drank it anyway i did and then they gave me ten dollars okay so i was like okay um tell me about this guy who sounds like he's not from america leonardo is a woman oh

my bad leonardo would be a man yes that is how that how that works. So Italian? Yes. Is this from Italy? Yes. Neat. Hence Italian. Wow. I'm so good at geography. That's what we do. We teach maps.

Oh, not English. Nope. Nope. Not English or Italian. Carry on. All right. Carry on. Leonardo.

So she was born in 1894 in montella italy um and as a young girl she attempted suicide twice yeah and had uh pretty bad issues throughout her childhood and young adulthood but that's pretty much all we know about her okay young life okay in 1917, at the age of 23, she married a guy named Raffaele Pansardi. Wow. Raffaele Pansardi. He was a registry office clerk. I don't know what the hell. It sounds really boring.

I don't know what that is. I mean, anytime you throw clerk into the mix, it sounds like something you didn't like. Office clerk. It's not like a job that he wanted to do when he was eight i yeah you know he's no like ice cream taste tester definitely a devolve from his dreams uh you know what that's really sad well i think it's about to get even sadder in a sad story i have a hunch that he's gonna wish he just stayed an office clerk so uh actually her parents did not approve of this marriage i mean i mean he's an office

i mean who would marriage to an office clerk it's not never again am i right no made that mistake been there done that moving on um so her parents had planned for her to marry another man, but she and Raphael... Raphael... Pensardi? Pensardi ran away. And then she later claimed that she thinks her mother cursed them at that moment. Okay. Good start.

Sure. What's the mom a witch? Maybe. I don't know. I mean, like... Wasn't everyone a witch if they were a woman in the 1800s that's the 1600s oh right i imagine i mean what's 200 years really it's only like as long as this country's been around right um my thought is because i feel like anyone could curse anyone like could like quote curse someone by just saying i curse you but unless you're a witch like there's no real effect i don't know about that because i believe that if you put i mean i'm also a new age la person but i feel like if you put the energy behind it i guess towards

somebody okay i don't know i'm sure that's like not the biggest detail we're gonna find also we've already gotten hung up on two really minor details like office clerk and right i can't wait until we actually find out who the killer is yeah yeah it's a big adventure it's a mystery so she thought that her mother had cursed them and they moved but they stayed married and they moved to his hometown but then six years later uh she chanchuli was arrested and imprisoned for fraud there's no details on that i don't know what that means okay i imagine maybe she took advantage of the office clerk thing and right. Yeah. I mean, skim from the top. I don't know. She stole a stapler. Oh my, I don't know. It's on that. What's like, if you like not from your current place of business, right? Sure. In a

previous place of business, what's the most wild thing you've done that you may or may not be proud of like what's the last thing i've done or like taken they're different both you don't want to say it do you no okay let's do this someone that you know wink wink did oh on the job just really so you already know this story do i i told it when we were playing a board game one time i covered all of that up with elevator music just fyi i mean honestly the craziest thing i've stolen is probably like white out or something what about you i've stolen hmm what have I stolen I mean I worked at a PI job so it was really tempting all the time to like get stuff off

their databases but I did not oh okay because they were like it's happened and you will get arrested I think the only thing I stole was my EMF detector from when I was ghost hunting that seems like something that would get you like cursed or haunted probably i mean it's in your house though so great that's why you left it here okay um no but i also like i stole it but also we stopped doing investigations so it wasn't going to go anywhere except in a storage closet anyway so i just took it that makes sense yeah i haven't really stolen much or done anything i'm gonna be honest if i did I wouldn't. If I did anything more than white out, which I don't know, may have happened, but I'm never going to say.

I mean, I would have. I would. I have too strong of a guilt complex. I would like stay up at night thinking about the stapler I stole. Also, why is there a handprint on the mirror that looks like child height? Oh, that's probably because I was on the floor, like organizing paperwork. Oh, I thought your brother was trying to fuck with us i think i was trying to get up and i had to use the mirror to hoist myself because i'm 95 okay anyway moving on moving on to the office clerk

she was uh not as smooth as we are and was arrested and imprisoned for fraud that's what happens leonarda come on okay uh when she got out of jail they moved to the town of lacedonia where their home was destroyed by an earthquake in 1930 so they lost everything they owned very sad their house everything so they moved one more time to a town called corregio where chanchuli opened a small shop and she was immediately accepted in the community she was loved by her neighbors she was really popular um and the only she just had a lot of misfortune happening in her life so throughout her marriage with pansardi chanchuli was pregnant 17 times she lost three of those babies to miscarriage oh and 10 more died as children fuck so so four remain out of 17 children's four survived so she it's amazing like that's a statistic to even have

17 kids but then for most of your children to not make it past childhood is really sad it's really sad and it's like not it's 1930s 40s it's not is it expected for people to not last that long i don't think it's expected for four out of your 17 children to survive into adulthood when you're in the 1940s but i don't know i don't know if like tuberculosis was going on or i don't know we obviously never know we don't know disease we should have lived in another country to learn history because i cannot tell you a single thing that happened except five years ago yeah okay anyway i'm sorry no you're fine i don't know but she obviously developed this like so she developed this like complex about being super protective of your of her children fair as you would um and she was also

extremely superstitious and again like she thought her mother had cursed her and like their house went down in an earthquake and she you you know, just things were not good. And a fortune teller had actually warned her that she would marry and have children, but that all of her children would die. So she's just like, oh, shit, this is what's happening. So like the same thing would happen to her that happened to her mom? No, no, sorry. A fortune teller told her that. Oh, before she had all these right i see children

die so she was like oh i'm cursed this is super you know because of her mom this is going to be the curse that happens yeah and she just thought like she was somehow and then she also was the only remaining child of several that passed away no wait i figured it out just honestly just erase that i was i was putting both worlds at one time oh yeah no no no so this so her mother's out of the picture yeah her mother the only thing of the mother of the mother storyline is that she like cursed them maybe that was not i just threw that in there because and then she only had four out of that then the next generation this leonardo main girl we're talking about four of her children four of her children survived she

was super protective of them yes got it and she was really superstitious caught up um and then a fortune teller had warned her that all of her children would die okay so as most of them did and they did and so she was like really superstitious and um she also saw a palm reader who told her in your right hand i see prison in your left hand a criminal asylum um and so she was just like i'm cursed anyway okay wow yeah what do you see in your right hand alcohol a gin and tonic um yeah so in 1939, John truly learned that her eldest son, Giuseppe. Okay.

Just let that one. Ignoring it. Soak it in. Was going to join the Italian army because world war two was, uh, blooming and thriving. It was blossoming into a beautiful young lady until a beautiful young war. Oh no. It was hitting puberty. I don know i'm gonna stop ovulating it was

now that i know what that means um yeah so giuseppe was her favorite child well he was also the first right well he's the oldest so i'm sure he was not the first the first to survive the first the oldest of the four remaining. Yeah. Right. Yeah. So he was her favorite because I guess back then you could just like have favorites. I don't know. And like be open about it.

Right. Yeah. But he was going to war. And so she was like, I have to protect him at all costs. Right. That's fair. Yeah. Yeah. Naturally, she decided that the only way to protect Giuseppe was by offering human sacrifices.

To whom I don't quite know the universe. But I mean... The mother goddess? I don't know. In her defense currently, because I don't know how horrible this gets, and I'm sure I won't agree to my point right now. Oh, please, just go ahead. Just really just like ruin my...

Have other people's opinion of me just totally get thwarted. Just go, go, go. just really just like ruin my have other people's opinion of me just totally get thwarted just go go go i will say that if i was incredibly superstitious and 13 17ths of my kin have all passed then you are really good at math then i know one fraction maybe but like i and then i'm like super protective i mean i i would and I'm and I'm superstitious as well. But like, wouldn't you just try to hide your son in the basement or something like and not let him go to the army? Like, I wouldn't. No, I mean, that's the logical thought process is just so it just jumps so far.

Like, yes, but depending on her level of superstition, I would have came up with that. It wasn't like someone said, like a fortune teller told her to. It was like she's like, that's the only thing that makes sense maybe she'd already tried everything i don't know whatever but nothing had happened to him yet i don't know why i'm trying to defend him let's just go i mean he's fine he's living life and she's just like fun fact that's not fun oh boy which i'm are my favorites on fun facts on fun facts we are all about on fun facts um my gammy um she is the remaining she's the only surviving child of her parents who had like three or four kids before her and they all passed before she was born so she used to always talk about how

her parents were crazy oh careful with her because they were like all of our and all of the kids before her passed away before they turned seven oh no but they were like they didn't all die at no like all like they had one and then before seven died then another before seven died then another i don't think then at seven died and then she was born and they were like okay i know you're never leaving the house for sure yeah but that's what i imagine would be more logical than like oh okay go to war but i'm just gonna like right yeah murder people to protect you it's just such a strange thing i don't know whatever you'll see how you feel in a moment um okay so she decided that the only way to get to keep giuseppe safe um while he was at war was to offer human sacrifices actually so she picked three of her friends as her victims her friends that's see that's more

irrational to me well i mean sure but like at least pick people you hate yeah anyway so this is um so she picked three yes the first one her name was Faustina Seti. She was so sad. She was labeled as a lifelong spinster. That's what the. So she was like 15. She was single, 15, single white female. No, she was an older woman. I mean, older.

Yeah. She would probably was like middle aged. Like our age. No. Okay. I'm just kidding. I'm fucking around. If her friend had had 17

pregnancies already she's definitely right she's at least 26 she's a millennial okay i get it uh so faustina was so chunchuli told her friend faustina that she knew of a guy in pola italy and that he was interested in meeting her and being with her. So Faustina was like, oh, that's great. And they were friends. So she's like, oh, sure. You know, like, I'll marry him. And then anything I could get my hands on, please.

It really is that sad. It's like she targeted her knowing she was desperate for a man. That's so sad. Because like, okay, anyway. Okay, so she told Faustina not to tell anybody about this until it went through, like the plan went through. And she's like, okay. And then she had her write letters and postcards to relatives and friends so that when she reached Pola, Italy, she could drop them in the mail and they would know that she was fine and that she had made it there safely.

On the day of her departure to Pola, Faustina came to visit Leonardo one last time and they celebrated with a glass of wine, but Leonardo had drugged the wine. And once Faustina was unconscious, she took an ax and hacked her to death before dragging her body into a closet where she cut the body into nine parts and collected her blood in a basin and then baked her into tea cakes.

Wow. So kind of like Sweeney Todd. Yeah. Okay. Yep. Okay. And then later this is, I'm going to read you the, because I can't, you can't make this shit up.

I'm going to read you in detail her statement of what she did with. The tea cakes? With the body. Oh, turn them into tea cakes. Yeah, but I'm going to read you the detail. I made them into tea cakes. The end. End quote. you the detail i made them into tea cakes the end end quote i threw the pieces of her body into a pot added seven kilos of caustic soda which i had bought to make soap and stirred the mixture until

the pieces dissolved in a thick dark mush that i poured into several buckets and emptied in a nearby septic tank as for the blood in the basin i waited until it had coagulated dried it in the oven ground it and mixed it with flour sugar chocolate milk and eggs as well as a bit of margarine kneading all the ingredients together i made lots of crunchy tea cakes and served them to the ladies who came to visit though giuseppe and i also ate them when he came over your face your your favorite son that you're doing all this for. She fed him. She fucking fed him. Her friends dried up blood. And then if he ever were to confront her, had he known, she would have had to be like, well, I'm doing this for you.

So eat up. Like, wow. And then she also received Faustina's life savings because. Because she had no one. Yeah. And she had also offered. Yeah. And she had also offered like to reward her for finding her husband and so she had access to her savings and stuff

um can i stop you real quick sure thing i just got a text from my girlfriend saying let me inside please oh my okay pause okay so this shit's about to just get weirder and crazier can't wait okay so she fed the bloody tea cakes to her son and her neighbors okay and got her life savings which was like a pretty solid amount of money do we know how much well i was afraid you'd ask me that because it was definitely in a different currency lira okay let's just ignore that 30 or 40 000 lira which i don't know what that translates to in 19 whatever got it leonardo decided that one human sacrifice was not enough god forbid because which does not make sense no it doesn't because giuseppe's just fine he's eating bloody tea cakes with her well i mean

i'll show it sounded like i was british he's eating bloody tea cakes they're literally bloody tea cakes well also my thought was like if you're gonna if we're putting our brains on a crazy path and we're thinking like she does it still doesn't make sense because when you just sacrifice one life for one that's what i'm saying an eye for an eye not three eyes for one eye she you know what i mean yes that's exactly because he's fine she's killed someone he's fine okay like she should i feel like you'd pull your jets cool your fucking jets in your oven because we don't need any more of that okay so next victim yeah her name was francesca okay soavi and um suave soavi okay suave his name was enrique suave Enrico Suave. Francesca Suave. So she was younger, I believe. And she was, I think, like young, like maybe 20 or something.

I'm not positive, but I think she was younger. And so Leonardo claimed to have found her a job. Or I'm sorry. Yeah. A job at a school for girls because she was looking for work. And so that she did the same thing where she convinced her she had this like opportunity and was like, but don't talk about it yet because we want to make sure it goes through. Had her write postcards to send to her friends, like saying, oh, I got this job just to make sure she was safe, blah, blah, blah.

Then when she came to visit the day before her departure or the day of her departure, she was again given drugged wine and then murdered with an ax. So this was on September 5th, 1940. Cool. And then Leonardo did the same thing with her body, made more tea cakes and fed them to her neighbors who were just like, wow, she's such a kind lady. Yeah. Can you imagine finding out?

You know, my neighbor that I've grown up with, well, I've grown up on a block of the same people my whole life. And very often they would come over and bring me things to eat. And now I'm wondering what was in them. Really bad, bad things. Organs, probably. Yeah, this whole time I thought it was just chocolate and peanut butter. It was probably also blood.

Bloody cookies, bloody donuts. Bloody tea cakes woof so oh god i just can't even imagine so and then she also got three thousand lira from her cool and then she had a third victim because that also was not enough so the final victim oh yeah spoiler alert she only gets away with this three times oh okay uh the third victim was named virginia cacioppo she was a soprano singer and uh leonardo claimed to have found her work um with a mysterious empresario in florence and like so that was like her least thought out plan she was probably just like oh yeah, I found mysterious guide needs a secretary. And she's like, OK.

And so as with the other two women, like she didn't tell her friends, her plans or family. She came over on September 30th, 1940 for a last visit. This pattern was the same. However, unlike the first two victims, after Virginia was axed to death And cut up She was melted to make soap She was melted to make soap Her body was melted

So other people rubbed her body on their bodies To clean themselves But with blood Yeah Not even blood because i think it was like her body parts like an ed gein soap bar yeah like an eyeball in the bar oh it's like when they put those insect in amber but it's like i was gonna say it's like how like i mean sometimes i may or may not have bought soap that has dinosaurs in them. Oh, sure. I have one of those. Yeah. But like maybe you do it and then like there's like a tooth in there.

Foul. Foul. A tooth is gross. It doesn't have to be a tooth. It'd be like a thumb. That's way less gross. I don't know what you want me to do. Not that.

Nothing. Nothing of the above I want you to do. Okay, cool. Don't get any messages from me that I'm not explicitly saying. So this is how she okay this is gross this is her describing how she made okay the body okay she ended up okay this is her quoting so virginia ended up in the pot like the other two her flesh was fat and white when it had melted i added a bottle of cologne and after a long time on the boil i was able to make some most acceptable

creamy soap. I gave bars to neighbors and acquaintances. The cakes, too, were better. That woman was really sweet. It's just so fucking disgusting. So disgusting. Okay, let's just move on. It's not even how you make soap.

I mean, you do use fat. I know, but cologne? A whole bottle? That's a potent soap. I mean, she made enough bars for all our neighbors oh fair i like how that's the thing i'm fucking i don't know why you're arguing about how much cologne is in the soap i know i know i know she didn't even put a dinosaur toy in it what the fuck is wrong with her i mean keep like a femur it was cheap soap and cheap cologne is what i mean i don't know a whole human was in it i don't know if that's And cheap cologne is what I mean. I don't know. A whole human was in it. I don't know if that's... Oh, cheap cologne.

Yeah. Right. She just bought some, like, Victoria's Secret body spray. No, she, like, went and got some, like, Jasmine... Like, Japanese cherry blossom or something from Bath & Body Works. Don't... Don't... Bath & Body Works.

Also, have you tried the blackberry cucumber la croix? No. Because if you drink it, it tastes exactly like sweet pea. Really? Yes. Sweet pea that Bath & Body works. Yes. Wow. Since we're on it. Anyway, keep going. We know. Stop emailing me about how to say La Croix.

Em refuses to say it the correct way. Yeah, that's the truth. It makes me mad, so we're not going to talk about it. Okay. Beep boop bop so uh here's what happened so she's like she was really sweet and we all ate her and washed our hands with her then uh the issue was that she was not as careful and um apparently uh virginia's sister-in-law was super nosy and so when she was like nose i'm going away what the fuck are you talking about all right she yeah her bar of soap had some nose remnants uh so her sister-in-law was like really nosy and was like oh she's going away what does that mean and fucking like stalked her to see what she was doing because she was, I mean, it was a good thing in the end.

But she saw her going into Leonardo's house and that was the last time anyone had seen her. So she reported this to the police and they opened up a case and arrested Leonardo really quickly. And at first she did not confess to the murder. She said she had nothing to do not confess to the murder she said she had nothing to do with it but then they um they said oh we think giuseppe has something to do with it

and the second they insinuated that they might question giuseppe her son about it she immediately confessed to the murders and said he had nothing to do with it it was all me because again she has to protect him at all costs right right so she provided detailed accounts of what she had done to save her son from any blame. And so those were obviously the ones I just mentioned. And she was tried for murder in 1946. She remained unrepentant. And she even corrected the official account while on the stand.

So someone said like, oh, you you know she did this and this and this she's like no actually this is what i did and she said i gave the copper ladle which i used to skim the fat off the kettles to my country which was so badly in need of metal during the last days of the war what a what a patriot she like apparently just thought herself a hero for giving her fucking human body ladle to the army jeez so she was found guilty obviously of her crimes and sentenced to 30 years in prison and three years in a criminal asylum just like right hand left hand the palm reader had predicted uh in 19 october of 1970 leonardo chanchuli died of cerebral apoplexy of a stroke in the women's criminal asylum in Pozzuoli.

That's probably not right. And they actually have a number of artifacts from the case, including the pot in which the victims were boiled on display at the criminological museum in Rome, which we should probably go to. Oh, OK. Yeah. Done. That's the story. OK, we'll go. About girl named leonardo who was i don't know the brady song it was a story but i got it you gotta do it really fast people in

a pot and ate them giuseppe's there too the brady bunch the bloody brunch blood the bloody brunch all right cool oh we got it we got it we're in we're on it we're in we're on our way to hell one way ticket on up down around all the way there that's a good story it was concise yeah that's why i'm glad well i don't you i'm just glad i fell asleep last night i mean i'm not but I'm glad that we didn't try to do this while I was right asleep because I would have not guys while I was recording I could literally see Christine asleep in front of me I kept closing one eye and then the other eye to just and then she would jolt up and then she would truly actually fall asleep for a good 20 seconds and I'd watch her blackout and then I'd watch her come to and then I'd watch her realize she had

blacked out but I just kept going with my story so if at the end of mine you just heard a lot of uh-huh it's because she was i assumed i couldn't tell because i was just going i was like okay if i close one eye at a time i will never know i'm sleeping for 20 minutes yeah i mean to be fair we were in lighting that was very cozy lighting. Yeah, I was just really tired. You were in your pajamas and in a blanket. I mean, you were asking to fall asleep. I was just really tired. Anyway, so we did it.

Guys, thank you for listening. Also, tickets, again, are available for the June show as of right now. Anyway, they are. So if you guys want to buy tickets, you better do that because the may show sold out already really quickly so june 17th 7 30 hollywood improv i will be on anti-anxiety meds also uh in the space between when we last recorded yesterday and now uh which they'll never know the passage of time because it's in the same episode but you'll never understand the passage of time like we do i tweeted out asking a lot of people about their advice for anti-anxiety uh techniques and ways to go about that in the most holistic way possible

and people were very very kind and i got a whole lot of responses and i read them all i'm gonna try them all so thank you m tried brave little toaster it did not work no because it's actually it the thing about the brave little toaster is you'd be brave to watch it that's it's anxiety inducing i thought if i watch it i would feel like a brave little toaster afterwards but then i was like well this is the opposite of what i want honestly i just remember being like the world is a scary fucking place after watching that yeah it was rough also i i used to like really like the electric blanket i thought he was so cool me too i fucking hate him now he's such a whiny bitch oh my god anyway i haven't seen that in a while i actually didn't like any single character in that

i like the movies we really like dissect our emperor's new groove brave little toaster the most obscure that's so raven is like on the TV show we always go to. Next up, Oliver and Company. Oh my God. I will say, though, Brave Little Toaster is just like, that had to be the inspiration for Toy Story. You think? It's just Toy Story, but instead of all the toys coming to life when you're not around, it's electronic appliances.

That movie scared me so much. Electric appliances. They didn't have like Siri or anything in them. Let's make a new one. Oh, where Siri comes to life. The brave little iPhone. The brave little Siri. The brave little like flip phone.

The brave little flip phone. Oh my God. Guys, send in your art now. The brave little flip phone. Trademark. Oh, but that is a brave phone, especially to be such a black sheep in today's world. That's what I'm saying.

And it just gets taunts by a bunch of Alexas. So careful. We have one of those in here. She's mean. Read the brave little phone. All right, guys. Where can the good people find us? They can find us at Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, at ATWWD Podcast. You can also find us at our patreon page atwwd

podcast please donate i know you do not know where money goes entirely you don't understand the passage of time you don't know where money goes like what do you know i'm telling you like because i always thought that like to donate to a patreon page meant like it was basically just going in people's pockets and that's not what's happening. It's the reason we're able to have live shows now. It's the reason we were able to find someone like Andrew to talk to. It's the reason that we're able to go to Nashville. It's the reason that we are going to be able to fly there, let alone just our tickets.

We're very, very grateful for all of you. You guys are helping us expand. So thank you and please keep donating. Also, we hope you enjoyed today's listener episode yes that also came out today we worked really hard on it it was i will say it was actually the first episode where christine and i had to do nothing up until editing but that's you'll originally find out why if you listen to it if you listen to it before this episode oh sure um because you're getting a double feature this month where you get both episodes on the same day. Right, right, right. If you listen to it, you know what was so odd about it.

If you are about to listen to it, you're about to see what's so odd about it. Happy April Fool's Day. We thought it would be funny if we... Wait, no, you can't tell them now. I'm not going to say anything. Oh, okay. We thought it would be funny if we did a little game changer for you guys. And it was very interesting to have Christine and me do just about nothing for a show.

It was very interesting to refer back to later. And I just want to clarify it was Blaze's idea because he's never going to say anything. It was his idea. It was Blaze's idea through and through. So thank you to the people who contributed to that episode, I will say. Thank you to the people who contributed to that episode i will say to those people and um i'm sure it threw a couple of you but it's because it's april fool's day so happy april fool's also happy pre-birthday to linda my mama oh and my stepmama ellen but also linda having uh birthdays this week so please tell them happy birthday and happy birthday

linda where else can we you find us we have our website and that's where we drink.com we have our merch page and that's where we drink dot big cartel.com um you can also follow us on our personals vm schultz and x teen schieffer and that's why we drink i was like why are you looking at me um also it's my stepdad tim's birthday next week too oh wow okay happy birthday to everyone in our families okay uh and all the uh aries oh yeah yeah it's the time of the aries we like the aries we do like the aries yeah so if you're an aries we approve okay and that's why we drink and that's what we drink bye