And That's Why We Drink - E74 A Polite Shadowman and a Phony Film School

Episode Date: July 1, 2018

#FORSHERMAN. I won't accept anything less. Em is at Linda's wedding all week, so we're presenting one of our favorite live recordings ever, coming straight from the Hollywood Improv. Em covers the Pantages Theater, and Christine covers Clara Phillips - AKA the Tiger Woman - purrrrrrr?

Hey guys, Christine here. So I just want to give you a quick update. So Linda is getting married this weekend, Em's mother. So congratulations to Linda. We've gotten a lot of great submissions for hashtags. I still like for Sherman the most. I don't really care what anyone else says. That is exactly what I'm going with for the rest of my life. But either way, thank you for all of your submissions. So anyway, point being, Em is currently at Linda's wedding in Virginia and truly right now is probably partying it up with Allison and dancing the night away with Linda and Tom. So I want to tell you guys know that Em had to leave a little bit early this week for the wedding and we weren't able to record a full episode so we do have our live uh Hollywood improv show our third show available that we're gonna play now for you guys and don't run away yet please

because I know a lot of people don't like listening to live episodes and I totally get that but I will say this one is really super duper fun. We came out to the song Pony. And that is going to be our new song now. Spoiler alert, if you ever come to our live show, that is that is the song. And also, we just had such a great time and had a blast. And I think you guys are going to really love the stories. They're really freaking intense and crazy and they're, you know, just as nuts as the episodes we record together. So I hope you guys stick around and listen to the show and I hope you guys really enjoy hearing Juniper right now. I'm pulling all the shades down on the window cause that's really fun for everyone. Um, that's all I really have to add. Uh uh it probably sounds like I just like hearing the sound of my

own voice which is entirely possible but hope you guys like what you hear um we are also releasing today a listener episode and this is honestly the most nutso one that ever came out of all time ever ever ever that is not an exaggeration Eva picked some banana stories for us this week. Also, my family's in town. So I've had a bottle of wine and it's probably 20 minutes until this episode is about to be released. So you guys, what a world we live in. Am I right? It is bonkers. I don't I need to stop talking. So I'm just gonna let you guys listen to this episode. Please do. It's a really fun time. Em and I had so much fun.

Little minor updates. We're coming to Nashville August 3rd and 4th. We're already sold out of VIP tickets. So get your tickets, your regular tickets before they sell out. We're also coming to D.C. in the fall. There are two other cities we're about to announce. So stay tuned. And we love you all very, very, very, very, very, very, very much. And cheers, Linda and Tom tom and we love you guys

we love linda tom and christine needs to slow down on the wine bye we've got do we have any empty tweeds Ladies and gentlemen, everyone in between, please welcome Christine Schieffer and Em Scholl. Thank you. Is that not the best walkout song of all time? We specifically requested Pony. We heard a comedian use it earlier and we were like, oh my god, why did we not think of that?

So we stole it. It's ours now. It was between that and Yeah. Yeah by Usher. Yeah. You know what this means. That's what. We might do a remix.

We'll see. Hi, guys. Oh my god, I'm so happy we're back. We did our first show here last month, and then we did a show in Irvine, and now we're back. And now it's our third show, so we're professionals. Right, Em? Uh-huh.

Yep. Yeah, yes, you can tell that. But we were as equally nervous upstairs. We were sprawled out on the couches, hyperventilating to be down here. In a good way, in a good way. Yeah, the employees love that, when we just sprawl around and hyperventilating to be down here. So yeah, in a good way, in a good way. Yeah, the employees love that when we just sprawl around and hyperventilate on their furniture.

Well, poor Eva had to deal with us like zen breathing, but not in a cute way. No, it wasn't cute. It really wasn't. Did anyone come to the first show here? Some people. So, okay, wait. So who's like first show of ours ever is this?

Wow. so okay wait so who's like first show of ours ever is this wow you got a better response oh my okay um all right that's a lot of people well you're in for a real weird night so uh why do you drink me yeah oh i thought we were asking everybody oh yeah one by one one by one raise your hand okay here here here here now i really racked my brain for this one at first i was like oh i'll probably tell you about um how i almost broke my foot trying to hang a curtain after um a couple glasses of wine and then i was like no that's pretty cliche And then I was like, no, that's pretty cliche. So then I was like, what if I tell you about how Gio ran into the road? Oh, that's a good one. Last night and the night before.

Wait, again? Twice. Oh. And I didn't notice because I was asleep on the couch. He somehow got out and just barked at the window until I noticed

and saw him running around the front yard. I could tell you about that, but I won't. Oh. Too late. That was quite a tease. Instead, I'm going to tell you about that, but I won't. Too late. That was quite a tease. Instead, I'm going to tell you this fun thing,

which is just the most tragic news of all. Blaze and I got a cat recently. His name's Juniper. We bought him a leash today. We put a harness on him. Did you take him outside? we walked him in the backyard and i immediately

thought oh no i am that person well hang on hang on here's the most psychopathic thing about oh tell me please is that she got a leash for a cat to take him outside when she already has an outdoor mesh cage for the cat, so he can already run outside without a leash, you're kind of going backwards and forwards at the same time. I want to give him options. Okay. We recently, what was the, we had a party.

Oh, yeah, Allison threw us a surprise party. Jesus. Yeah, thanks, Allison. No, we had a party. There was a bunch of people, and they're like, what's that thing in the corner? We were like, oh, that's where the cat goes outside. No, we had a party. There was a bunch of people, and they're like, what's that thing in the corner? We were like, oh, that's where the cat goes outside. It's Juniper's outdoor jungle gym.

Okay, I'm sorry. I just realized I was one of those people, and I had to have a moment of mourning for the times when I wasn't a cat person, and now I am, so it's too late for me. So why do you drink this week? I don't know if you can top that, though. That was pretty dark.

I drink because this morning I was in New York. Oh, boy. Well, this weekend... Boy, are your arms tired? I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. We've had four live shows, and that joke's been used twice already. And I regret sorry. We've had four live shows, and that joke's been used twice already. And I regret nothing.

This weekend I was in Massachusetts, Chicago, and New York. That's really awful. And I woke up today at 2.30 in the morning, California time, to get here. And I've been traveling for 10 hours. And I have a sore throat from traveling. So everyone should feel bad for me. I was like, you're guilting everybody. It's a little bit kind of awful.

Well, I just wanted to, those are all the reasons I drank. I didn't want to pick one. Oh yeah. Yeah. Well, anyway, so I, Eva has, I'm just going to spread the secret here. This is supposed to be a milkshake, but Eva has masked it. It's actually a smoothie to make me feel better. So it was actually,

she's like, I brought an In-N-Out cup to make it look like a milkshake. We were like, you're the best. To fool you all. We don't deserve you, Eva. Yes.

We don't. So here's movie magic. It's actually a smoothie. So. You never would have known. That being said, I have a ghost story. Oh, man. I got real nervous.

What did you think I was going to say? I don't know. I got real nervous. I'm done. Let's go home. Uh-oh. All right. Oh, that's the name of our show.

So who wants a ghost story? It's called And That's Why We Drink. Mm-hmm. Yep. We never say it, so sometimes. Okay. We'll say it a couple times, I'm sure, during the show. All right.

Here's my story, guys. Who has heard of the Pantages Theater? You should. I have. Congratulations. Thank you. I tried to find something relatively local. So it is 11 blocks north and 38 blocks east.

I think that's pretty local. That's like super specific. I Google mapped it and then counted the blocks. Okay, I was about to say, that's not like an increment measure on Google Maps, I don't think. 12 minutes away from here, so I thought that was pretty local. I don't know why you counted the blocks. That's pretty weird. I like to prove to people that I do some research.

Oh, you count things. Okay. Yeah. Got it. Also, this is going to be a fun game for everyone. I know you came here to see me really do this on a whim, so that's what you're going to get. Because I did these before this weekend when I had this big trip,

so I don't really remember much of the story. Oh, great. There are going to be a few times where even I'm like, whoa. Those are actually my favorite m stories when we're both surprised i don't believe it that is the fun did these notes okay what is christine can you believe it eva did them eva eva so all right let's crack into it oh man all right you're like reappropriating that phrase that you stopped using for a year i tell myself i'm never gonna use it but it's it's the cross i bear so all right there's a pretty picture of it start you out happy oh man it's so beautiful let you know what it looks like currently okay all right here's a

little fun fact slash history for you all right i'm repositioning don Don't mind me. Okay. I'll wait. There we go. Sorry. You get, like, the whole table? I'm sorry. I'm just... You really just took over. Sorry. I'll just stay out here.

So, it is considered one of the most beautiful theaters in the world. It is 110 feet wide. Just the lobby, by the way. 110 feet wide, 60 feet deep. Three grand chandeliers. Two 20-foot wide staircases, grand balconies, and an orchestra pit. That's really... I have that in my house.

That's so dramatic. Downstairs in the powder rooms and in the women's lounge. So several lounges, except just two, because apparently back then there were only two genders. So, oh God. But the women's one

was decorated with black leather walls. Again, in my house. So talk about a classy powder room. They just ripped me off. So it was actually the last theater that vaudeville and film producer Alexander Pantay just built for his 80 theater circuit.

So he had 80 of these guys. Jesus. Wait, what year was this? Did we already say that? Oh, I'm getting there. Sorry, I'm jumping ahead. This particular building, when he first built it, cost $1.25 million then, which was the 30s to answer oh there we go which brings us to our first and that's why we draw oh man so here

so in case you are not familiar with and that's why we draw earlier in the week when we're doing our notes we write out some very cryptic phrases that are going to be involved in our show and have people draw what they think we're talking about without any understanding of what's going on right so i wrote out christine's birthday and got some wild things back i am actually scared shitless about whatever's gonna happen you should because this is actually probably the funniest drawing i think we've ever gotten submitted oh god i'm so nervous so this is someone's interpretation of christine's god okay what the hell is happening here oh my god did somebody like fly a drone over my backyard last week this was what allison surprised us with in the backyard

with the cat with the cat box we told you oh my god this is bonkers what if i could just keep this as the backdrop for the rest of the show i would i mean everyone has some like great boobs look at that they're all just everyone's everyone's having a good time wowique. My birthdays are not that fun, but I mean... One can dream. One can dream, I guess. Thanks, Dominique. So the reason your birthday got mentioned is because the Pantages Theater was opened June 4th,

your birthday, 1930. Wow. It had 2,812 seats, and it used to show films and popular musical skits. Musical skits? Just skits. Not like a full show. Oh, okay.

Not like a full shebang. Just like a skit. Sure. I don't know why that's funny. It's not funny. I just don't know what it means. Me either. Oh, okay.

So there it is in the olden days. Oh, Clive Brooke. Yeah. Good. In 1929, we're still... Mickey Mouse! Wow. I didn't read this.

I'm going to be honest. Our stories have some crossover today. I don't know. You don't even know it, but we have some crossover. I don't even know how Mickey Mouse is involved in a serial killer, but I'm excited to find out. A serial killer? Oh, my.

I just assumed. I thought you meant yours. I was like, you're stealing my... That's my half. No, no, no. Okay. We'll find out to be determined. I'll forgive you. In 1929, the year before the market had crashed, and so plans for

ten more floors of office space above the theater were discontinued, but it was supposed to be even more massive and prestigious than it already was. Alexander Pantages was accused of assaulting one of the dancers. What a dick. Named Eunice Pringle.

Eunice Pringle! I'm sorry, that was really distracting. That's her name. Every time I see Eunice, I just think of She's the Man. I'm like see Eunice, I just think of she's the man. I'm like, Eunice! Wasn't that the name in Courage the Cowardly Dog? Oh, yeah, that was the...

The grandma. The grandma. Yeah. No, Eustace. You're right, Eustace. See, she knows. You know what? I don't know anything.

Sorry. I'm treading on your story. I'm sorry. No, you're only enhancing it. Eunice Pringles. So, wow. Okay. your story i'm sorry no i'm you're only enhancing it unis pringles so wow okay so william randolph hurst so in the la examiner he wrote alexander pantages as a cold foreigner because he had recently come from greece that is the funniest thing of this whole story cold foreigner what are like weird like

cold not cold like icy like okay so here's the thing what oh i don't know i just feel like i should reiterate cold like myself like yes because he was reporting on the fact that he assaulted someone and so he was reporting about him as like oh oh, he's not a nice guy. Okay, got it. And a foreigner. Got it, got it, got it. Just to throw it in there. And Eunice was written about as an innocent victim. Okay. Fair.

Fair. He ended up being convicted in 1931, and he appealed and then was found not guilty. Drink. Oh, shit. I really tried. I really did. I was really trying. It sounded very easily.

It escaped quite without any issue. Quite freely, yes. You're right. I really didn't put a hold on it. I'm sorry. Oh, I thought someone was raising their hand, like they had a question. They're like, I finally thought of why I drink this week. And I want to tell you. Okay.

So after he was found not guilty, they ended up looking at the evidence again and found out that Alexander Pantages actually was not guilty. And Eunice was hired by one of the big guys, Joseph Kennedy, who controlled RKO, was paid off by him to make a false claim against Alexander Pantages

because he had turned down Joseph's offer when he asked to buy out all the theaters. Whoa, I thought you were going to say his offer for sex, and I was like, this is becoming like an HBO special. But that's also pretty dramatic, I guess. I mean, that's a wild story we can roll with, but I don't have that in the notes, so... Pretend that that's the story. It's safe, but I don't have that in the notes.

Pretend that that's the story. It's just safe if I keep going on what's on the page. Okay, okay, okay. So his reputation was still shot, and his finances took a huge hit, and he wound up selling his theaters to RKO anyway the next year. Okay. So really he could have just sold them to begin with and have skipped all that. But he chose. But why not? The tough road.

Be dramatic. He's probably a Gemini. I'm sorry. I can't stop myself. I'm sorry. You're a Gemini. I know. The Pantages Theater became mainly a movie house,

and it only had occasional musicals at this point. And in 1949 it was acquired by RKO Pictures and became the RKO Pantages. RKO Pantages. My notes say to switch slides now. Oh okay. Gonna do that. Oh that's fun isn't it? That's fancy. So it became the theater for the Academy Awards for 11 years. Okay. It hosted celebrities such as Bob Hope, Fred Astaire, Jerry Lewis, Angela Lansbury, Shirley McClain, Dean Martin, Charlton Heston, John Wayne, Bette Davis, and Doris Day. So like Betty Davis.

Yes. Sorry. No, I was just going and didn't know. You're right. Even if you're wrong, I'm just going to say you're right. I think you're right. I'm not wrong. Eva, edit this out.

What if we just scripted all this to be like... A lot of people are staring me dead in the eyes when they drink, and that's the weird part. They're like, I know you did this. What's happening here? They're like, you've done this to me. Yeah, that's true. In 1953, it held the first ever televised Academy Awards. Oh.

And it was home to the Oscars, like I said, for 11 years, and only changed venues because the Oscars got so big they needed a different place. Okay. Oh, I lost where I was. Oh, here we are. In 1954, they ended up selling it out and in the 60s pacific theaters bought out pantages uh to be renovated into only a stage theater and in 1977 it closes a movie theater and is now only a stage theater okay so in 2000 it was fully restored and it cost 10 million

dollars to restore it that's's nice. And it was... Sorry, that's a lot of money. I mean, yeah. Yeah, it is. Not chump change. So it was spent to clean the entire place, like take everything, like all of the chandeliers and replace them or clean them.

Replacing authentic parts, rebuilding the stage for Broadway touring companies. And they actually built the original ten floors they were supposed to build back in the 30s. Oh, okay. So the stage play, Disney's Lion King, that play... I've heard of that.

You know, it's a little thing. It's like a little famous. It came to the Pantages and was so successful that that show alone got the theater to make all of their $10 million back. Holy crap. And a profit. We're in the wrong industry, man.

And that's all I have about the history, so let's just talk about ghosts. Let's do it. Let's, let's, let's. Let's just fold that part away. Just get rid of that part. No one ever needs to see it again. Oh, God. All right. Let's just fold that part away. Just get rid of that part. No one ever needs to say it again.

Alright. So, first ghost is of Howard Hughes. Oh, I know him. Do you? Because he was in my notes. Who was he? I'm just kidding. I'll just... I actually don't remember him being in your notes. I just know who he is.

Oh, good for you. I didn't know who he was. Oh. I was like, I didn't know there would be a pop quiz no i said it and felt mean i was like oh i should not do that we'll talk about this later i know so uh he was involved in rko pictures and he was very regularly at the building for decades long time yeah long long time so his ghost is probably one of the most prominent ones was very regularly at the building for decades. Long time. Yeah, long, long time. So his ghost is probably one of the most prominent ones that anyone sees. He's seen from the stage.

So, like, when you're on stage, you can see him in the seats. He's usually in the last row of the balcony. And there have been a few times where security has been trying to clean out all the seats at the end of the day to like have people leave and they've seen him up there and have had to walk up and say you have to leave and by the time they get up there he's already faded away there are also sightings of there are sightings of him walking up the aisle during performances

as if to exit through the back. Like he's not pleased with the show. Uh-oh. That's actually my nightmare. Can you imagine? Yeah, there could be a ghost doing that right now. There's that exit sign. Oh, I would just die.

There are also a lot of ushers who have said that they'll hold the door for him and then he'll just vanish right before he gets to the door. This guy just sounds rude. He's like, I've got another way to get out of here, but thanks. Thanks, but no thanks. There have been so many sightings of him that the historical marker in front of the building actually mentions his ghost, which I think is fun.

Yeah? Okay. Just me then. Actually, that was so fun. I can't even process how fun that was. No, it was! that was so fun i can't even process how fun that was no it was it was so fun it was so fun that no one reacted it was really yeah we all had a good time okay here's the next phrase oh boy 1930s gossip okay i'm ready i gotta give it some they did quite a good drawing uh oh

oh that's very she she and we know she she oh there's no one that knows class better than us Christine yes that is accurate so um that's really impressive yeah I could not

do that really at all thanks for clarifying for me i mean actually like my like my undercover name is angela i just angela threw this on the board this is beautiful so the staff uh regularly see women walking in the balcony or going to the ladies room in old fashioned clothing. And they disappear mid gossip with each other. Mid gossip. Which is just so mean to me. Yeah. Like as the eavesdropper.

You're like, what did Angela do? I need to know. Imagine you're in the bathroom and you hear, and then. Yeah. And I'm like, what? What? You're like, you will never believe what happened next. And then, you'll never know.

And I'm like, but I wanna. Oh, man. That's actually pretty evil. There are also women who will walk into the bathroom and in the corner of their eye, they will see women dressed in 1930s clothes looking at themselves in the mirror and putting on makeup. Oh, that's fun.

And then you turn around to check on them and they're gone. Just in the corner of your eye. It less threatening that way i think i would still be so scared yeah i was like i don't know i wonder if she's the one they're gossiping about oh man like that bitch in her makeup look at them that bitch in her always i'm telling you always reapplying her lip gloss. If anyone knows good ghost gossip, it's me. So. Yeah, Angela, we know.

Look how pretty that place is. It is very beautiful. So, back to Hughes. He has been seen in, quote, a smart suit. Mmm. Roaming where his old office was and he walks through a wall which used to be the

original doorway to his office creepy which follows like that blueprint kind of yeah i love that anyone know what i'm talking about yeah cool otherwise i was gonna skim by and you're all gonna be like what what is that cool moving along um staff have reported a gush of cold air whizzed right past them when they're in the office, even when the AC isn't on, and they'll feel like a breeze hit them on full blast. That's kind of nice, though. But is he bull rushing you? Is he like getting you? Or is he blowing in your face? Yeah, that's gross.

I really don't know where the icy wind comes from, but it's such a... Listen, Em, I'm really funny and you just kind of have to get used to it. And I know it's hard for you to sit there and listen to... It's really hard to live in your shadow. Yeah, it is. I know. I know. It must be really hard. Anyway, people get cold

sometimes. The staff... Oh, help me. help me okay go on the staff regularly smell cigar smoke which i looked everywhere and it says which hughes despised cigars like oh but like enough here's the thing apparently he hated them enough that in the afterlife, that's what he chose to smell like. That doesn't make any sense. I know. Well, okay, maybe. Hold on.

Because my... I have... No. Uh-uh. This isn't my story. Because my thought was like, okay, another ghost smokes cigars. Not like maybe a live person was smoking cigars. But if there's another ghost who likes cigars, maybe that would be the smell.

However, apparently he daily mentioned how much he hates cigars. And so now apparently they smell cigars all the time. And they think, oh, that must be him. But that's, like, the stupidest thing. Okay, but maybe I have a theory. All right. Let's hear it. Here we go.

Here's what happened. So I think what happened is he was like I hate this so much because he really loved it so much. You know? Alright. Like he was like oh fuck cigars but in his mind he was like I just want a cigar. Like a guilty pleasure. And you know how people are like super like

they stand up for something like they like are super outspoken about something they hate because like secretly they kind of love it. So I think that's what it is, and that's my theory. That's a fair theory. That's a fair theory. Wow, that was powerful. We are all moved now.

You're welcome, Matt. Anyway, supposedly you regularly smell cigar smoke coming from where his office used to be. And according to Christine's theory, which could be accurate. Yes, is the correct theory. You also hear unexplained banging noises, like someone is opening and closing desk drawers. Apparently you'll hear the clinking of the brass handles, and you'll actually hear someone shoving the drawers shut. You'll hear pens in the cup moving around, like he's still working which sounds like oh god he's like

that's awful um people will check the room because they're convinced that someone's in there shuffling things around but the room is empty and very cold it's back to the cold thing um after a break-in that happened in the 90s the upper balcony was damaged which was right next to his office and activity increased as if the ghosts were really mad or upset like really protective of the territory okay okay got it we're on board then i think that makes sense to me so the manager has said that the spirits got very angry at that point and activity on the second floor increased. And there is now regularly loud banging all over the building, loud yelling in your ear. I don't like me neither.

And one former employee says that they even heard a frustrated man's voice in the conference room, which used to be his office. OK, a voice that was clearly mad and upset i don't know what that's very sad like i don't it sounds like he's like still working really hard yeah he does not need to be and is like smoking too many cigars or not enough or i mean maybe he has who's to say guys it's not us this is why we do the live shows. We just want you to tell us what to do at this point. This is a cry for help. Also, apparently, someone has actually seen a figure of a shadow jump out at them as if to play peek-a-boo.

No, that's fucking ridiculous. To be like, ah, gotcha. No, that's fucking awful. No. Uh-uh. Imagine being like, oh, no that's fucking awful no uh uh imagine being like oh the room's empty no

no it's not and they're like I thought this would be fun and endearing like fuck you ghost that's not cute you're right you're right

no it's not it's just mean I'm already mad about it um where was I oh yeah here we are so in 1932 there was a woman who died on stage during a show.

What? So, Christine. Uh-oh. Good luck. Dun, dun, dun. Make it through this. This is, that's awful. Also, there's no more information than that,

which I feel like as a company you should have more information. If something happens to me tonight, somebody at least better write an article about it. At least post it on Instagram or something.

Just put it on BuzzFeed or something. They said potentially she was a singer with stage fright and she died on stage. Me too. Which becomes me,

not you all of a sudden. It's like, that's actually just the most upsetting thing i ever heard she's like i've staged but i'll overcome it and i'll get there i i believe in myself how awful that's the most awful thing i've ever heard it's just like even more embarrassing because it was a public like everyone saw like everyone saw you not succeed embarrass myself no everyone will see you die especially like horrible

all your friends and family are like oh you'll do great and they're like oh oh no this is exactly the opposite of what we told them it's really bad it makes me feel really sad for her yeah

and yet I can't stop laughing because it's just so absurd okay i'm sorry i just imagine the guilt we would give like like alice and her blaze or eva and they're like oh you're gonna do so good and then like our bodies are like i would haunt them forever they're like oh how dare you so just another angle i know if your eyes got bored, so... Give you a little look-see. I wanted to look like I did my research. Apparently.

It looks like that. It looks like this place. Yes. So, at night, the voice of a woman is heard singing in the auditorium. Is that her? Me thinks so. I guess. I'm sorry, I spoke too soon which is

ironic because like if she died of stage fright now she's killing it like oh whoops but she is you're an idiot But she is. You're an idiot. Oh, man. Oh, boy. But also that makes me think,

what if I die at a stage fright, which is possible? And then you're going to come up here. But then I thrive afterwards. I mean, I guess you're living out your dreams I don't know we'll see where life takes me and afterlife so the voice this is how they know that she's been singing in the auditorium

besides just like annoying people she her voice I imagine it's annoying I imagine it's very annoying yeah okay so apparently the voice has been picked up on mic many times. Oh, shit. On stage while other live people are singing.

How irritating is that? That's what I'm saying. That's got to be the most frustrating thing. Like, you had your moment. You didn't make it. It's my turn. That's like some podcaster coming up here and talking into a microphone while we're trying to do our stupid show. Yeah.

You get it. Yeah. That's rude. She also apparently, her voice carries over the monitor louder than other people's voices. So it's like everyone else is like, la, la, la. And she's like, else is like la la la and she's like la la la like just to make sure you know what's going on wow i identify with her so much though but can you hear me though oh my god i love her she's a gemini yes thank you um apparently she

with like without fail will always show up during um joseph and the technicolor dreamcoat everyone's got a jam that's hers that's fine oh my god um good and everyone in the audience heard everyone in the audience heard and Everyone in the audience heard. And then it also got caught on the monitor. They were like, who's that fucking voice? And it was her. Was she singing a song from that? Or was she singing a totally different music?

Can you imagine? She's singing like cats. And they're like, no. I hope she was singing pony. That I would, that's the only thing. She's before her time. Yeah. Yeah.

So one time a wardrobe lady actually had an experience with her where she was the last to leave the theater, always the worst person in these stories. Uh oh. And she walked towards an exit and the emergency lights all went out. Good. Like, she's in pitch black in a haunted theater. Fantastic. Awesome.

She, uh-huh. Mm. Woo-hoo. She walked towards the exit, like, stumbling around trying to find her way, and she bumped into what felt like an ice-cold person. Oh. And she couldn't find her way out,

so she's kind of grabbed onto this thing. She's like, okay. She's like, you'll do. I'll figure it out. Carry me to safety. So in the pitch black, she grabbed what felt like their elbow, and they walked her to the front,

and with a, quote, firm, cold hand on her lower back guided her through the building so it's like thanks what but no thanks i mean to be fair she grabbed this lady's elbow i mean she was she was like you're you're my ticket out of here lead me i mean i don't know yeah i feel like if i was reaching for something and realized it was cold and moving i'd be like i'll just stay lost i'll just stay lost i'll just sit here in the dark um so sorry i thought she was coming for me and i and this isn't about you you know christine was going to town on some nachos upstairs. Don't! Why? Why do you turn this on me? Well, I saw, because I was like, oh, I haven't eaten yet.

And then I was like, oh, Christine did. They were really good nachos. That's what it looked like. I did eat almost all of them in four minutes. We literally, okay, so Christine got her nachos, and then we looked at our clocks, and we were like, oh, we have to be down there in seven minutes. And literally, okay, so Christine got her nachos and then we looked at our clocks and we were like, oh, we have to be down there

in seven minutes and Christine was like, I got it. It was actually embarrassing because Em came out of the bathroom and was like, they're all gone.

They were very good. Oh, where were we? Oh yeah, she's still lost in the theater. Okay. I was just busy with nachos.

Yeah. Okay. I don't know why I felt the need to call you out. I don't know either, Em. I just felt embarrassed, and I was like, well, you're going down with me. That's really fair.

Like, we really can't do that to each other. That's friendship. We can destroy that. No, no. We're done. We're done now. Okay, I'm done. I'm saving everything for future, future, future stories.

So, yeah. So let's talk about someone else. It's not me. Yeah. So, yeah. So let's talk about someone else. It's not me. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So this girl is lost in the dark and grabbing a cold human. Corpses, right. Good. Yeah, probably.

Yep. So the cold hand guided her towards the door, and once you, like, push the door open, you know how the light comes in. She opens the door. You know how, like, things work. You know, like, physics and nature. I was trying to be, like, creative in my storytelling.

It didn't land. I thought it was very creative. She opened the door. The light flooded in and then she still felt the hand on her and looked over and no one was there.

And then before it totally faded away, she felt something, like, press on her back, like, scratch her to be like, oh, no, I'm still here. Ew, ew, ew.

Like, you're not thinking. You're not thinking wrong. I'm here, you just can't see me. And then went away. Creepo. What a creepo. I don't know, I feel like that would be me though. I'd be really helpful, but then I'd be like, oh no,

you're going to think about this one later. You'll never forget how helpful I was. You have to appreciate this. Where was I? Who knows? Anyone? Anyone want to take over? Hello? It works! Clink!

Yeah, I don't know what the hell that was. I don't know. I'm used to recording and I've already finished my drink, so then I have to clink with my finger. Clink, clink, clink. Oh, yeah. We were moving on to another spirit potential demon. You guys ready? Okay.

Imagine if they were like, no. What if it was just silent? It's like, can you get going on this? All right. Oh, I cleared my throat. I don't know if anyone wants a drink. Oh, yeah, drink. I'm sorry. Oh, I cleared my throat. I don't know if anyone wants a drink. Oh, yeah, drink. I'm sorry. Sorry, I'm a... I'm not sorry. Have a good time.

So a tall male apparition regularly walks down the hall into Hughes' old office. Many say he... You did it again. God. I have a sore throat. It sounds like you're just rubbing it in.

It's like I'm asking for it, really. I'm like... Did you hear that? God damn it, Em. Now you're starting to sound like Christine. Yeah, it's actually a little weird to hear my voice being thrown across the room. So others say he also looks very dashing. However, he's in a different suit. So they're like, looks very dashing however he's in

a different suit. So they're like maybe that's Alexander Pantages himself. Okay. Which is interesting that he's going

into someone else's office. I think that's funny. It's hilarious. Well just like fuck around. Yeah no it is. I mean when you've

got eternity you might as well like just go mess with people's stuff. That's why. Yeah. I imagine that's what all ghosts do. Put a stapler in some jello

i'm sorry i was like what do people do in each other's offices i see the connection now that's actually funny oh i'm glad you find it funny i know i was like that's funny but i don't know how you got there and then i was like oh now i see it that's hysterical it was a really like quick fire jump it wasn't you it was me i was like, that's funny, but I don't know how you got there. And then I was like, oh, now I see it. That's hysterical. It was a really quick-fire jump for me. It wasn't you, it was me. I was like, oh, good job. There it is. You should be the frontrunner in this comedy show.

Oh, yes. If you're not already. So, I don't know. What? I don't know. I haven't slept since 2.30. I don't want to call you out because you're sick. Just keep talking.

You're hilarious. We love you. I know. I know. I am. I know. So, yeah. You can hear the sounds of his bookshelves moving in the middle of the night, which I

have actually seen in real life. I've seen a bookshelf move by itself. What? And that is bananas. What do you mean? I mean, it literally looked like two grown men shoving it, but the two grown men weren't there.

Where were you? I was in Yorktown Beach. What happened? A bookshelf moved. Why? I don't know why. But I do know, here's the weird part about that. This was a house that, this was when I was doing investigations.

Oh, casual, you know. Investigations. And there was one house that we, previously the night before, were able to get into, and then we went the next night and we couldn't get into it, and we didn't know why the door wouldn't open this time with the key and the door felt stuck and then the next day we went in through another door and the bookshelf was in front of the door what like it didn't want us in there and this is a house that has been not lived in for like 50 years like so

it's not like i don't like that like no one no one did that. That's alive. Okay. I'm just saying. Oh, man. That's gross. So anyway, this bookshelf also moves. Got it. Per experience, I believe this part of the story with 100%. You can hear books and papers being shuffled. I said you can hear pens moving in the cup, but there have been times where pens

get thrown at people. That's what got you? Yeah, it's funny. Um, they've also heard, like, the cup fall and all the pens spill out, and they've heard a grown man say, ah, shit. That is for show me as a ghost, ah, shit. That is for show me as it goes. Ah, shit.

Oh, we're moving on? No, oh, I just really wanted you guys to get a real 360 look on this place, apparently. Oh, this is, oh, it's beautiful. Same place. I know, this is the right side. I mean, to be fair, it's very beautiful. It is. You guys, if you're listening at home, Google P the right side. I mean, to be fair, it's very beautiful. It is. You guys, if you're listening at home, Google Pantages Theater.

I just feel bad. We're going to be putting this on the air, I guess. Ow. This is how we figured. Did you just hit your tooth on the mic? No. I'm very new at this. You know what?

To be fair, though, I can't laugh at you because we were standing behind that door to get introduced. Oh, that's true. And the door fucking slammed into my face. That's true. Em's entire face got hit by a door. And I heard Christine and Eva both go, oh, and they were like, not help me. They were just like, oh, are you okay now? You're on your own.

That was karma. That thing hit me good, too. Yeah, it hit you right in the face. Okay, so we're even now. Okay. I mean, mine was like in front of a bunch of people. Like that girl with the stage fright. Oh, you're making your way.

God, my worst nightmares. There have been a lot of employees in the auditorium that were by themselves. Poor choice. And they heard soft, slow clapping from the balcony as if he's like what a dick i imagine he's doing that face to have like i he's like yeah i guess like that's really rude that's what we're gonna get at the end of this show we're gonna leave there's gonna be one why are? And they're not even alive. And it's Eva. And it's Eva.

I'm still here. Eva, clap for us at the end. Please. Drink. Oh, shit. I don't even notice it anymore. I'm trying not to say. What?

I was going la, la, la, because I was trying not to say the thing that makes people drink. Oh, yeah. You're all going to think that. Oh, my. I really don't know where I am. Oh. A voice has been picked up on the mic that was not the singer. It was a man laughing to himself.

Okay. Or not to himself. We only just got one voice. He could have been laughing at several people. But for all we know, he was like, just thought he was really funny, like I think about myself. So everyone in the audience also heard a laugh. So like people are hearing people not there singing. They're hearing people not there laughing.

And then when everyone goes home, the monitors will turn on by themselves and you can hear other voices of people that are not in the theater having conversations with each other jeez i bet it's those gossipy witches yeah for sure like now that we have the stage for sure let's talk about Becky again. Yes, that's correct. I like when you laugh. See? It's so fun.

You know, we got an email today and someone said that my laugh sounds like a dolphin. Yeah. The actual subject was regarding M's laugh. Regarding M's laugh.

And I was like, uh-oh. I hope I don't have to delete this before M sees it. Oh, my ego is really high. Well, no, I thought it was going to be mean. No, I went the other direction. I was like, I can't wait for a compliment. And then I opened the email and it was like, M sounds like a dolphin. And I was like, yeah.

It actually said, M sounds like Flipper. Yeah. M sounds like Flipper the dolphin. I was like, that checks out. You're not really wrong. I was like, oh, yeah, actually, kind of. So where were we? God, M.

I can't get my shit together. Oh, you'll like this one. I even printed this in color for you. You did? I did. Okay. Are you ready for a good one? Yeah.

So in 2013, the owner was reported to know of at least seven ghosts in the building one of them who is a dog that's a what what a wild assortment of reactions weird mix like oh some like cat calls going? Yeah. Although there is no hard evidence, everyone who has ever been there by themselves has heard a dog bark and has felt a tail, like, walk past them. Which is... Oh, I did gasp.

I gasped. I did. I did do it. I was like, we're... Geo? I don't know. I'm sorry. Oh, drink.

Sorry. It's a really easy game. Really, you can stop whenever. We get it. You're drunk. We're not trying to give you alcohol poisoning. And as of the 2000s, there are no longer allowed to be investigations because the theater owners know that there are spirits there.

They've had enough stories from enough people where they know for a fact that there are ghosts and they just don't want to disrespect them. So they've taken out investigations. So they just go off of people's stories now from when they're around. But most people who have worked there have experienced the dog at least once. And apparently when you're by yourself,

if you get scared, you can hear the dog panting next to you. Aww, baby! Sweet baby, baby! That counts as a geo-reference, I think. Sweet baby baby. Guys, this weekend I'm babysitting him. I'm going to have such a killer time. All right, all right.

You'll see it on the Instagram, I'm sure. God damn. Thank you for dog sitting my dog. I appreciate it. You're just so welcome. I call it Snuggle Fest 2018. It's actually, Emma's already created a hashtag. It's my nightmare, truly.

I always text Christine and I'm like, I can't wait for my VIP ticket to the Snuggle Fest. That's literally not an exaggeration. I get that text maybe three times a week. I also regularly text her. I'm like, Christine, he's my best friend. He's actually my best friend. And she's like, I asked if you wanted me to make you dinner when you come over.

It's six in the morning. I'm trying. Yeah, actually, it's truly a nightmare. You're welcome. Thank you. If I'm your nightmare, you've got quite a life. You've got such a good life. I have a great life.

Oh, when the theater seats... This is a funny one. When the theater seats need to be replaced, I guess one of the routines that they do is they'll put tape on each chair to know which ones need to be replaced. And in the middle of the night, they'll change the tape.

So you have to figure out what chair. So they have to go through and sit in 2,800 chairs to make sure. I can't decide what ghost I want to be. I want to be all of them. Another one of the seven ghosts is a little girl who sings show tunes in the hallways. Oh, my. The staff will regularly turn off lights,

and then the lights will come right back on as soon as they leave the door. So you have to just keep going back and forth um which sounds like a real dick move yeah it's really rude people have heard heavy footsteps in the hallways when they're alone they uh feel someone bump into them multiple times like they'll just be walking go oh sorry to nothing which i guess i do i was to say, that seems pretty standard. You just got hit by a door like 20 minutes ago. And I apologized, I think, to the door, too.

Yeah, probably. A lot of people have felt a child squeeze their hands. And they've also, this is the weird part, mothers have kept holding the hand because they looked down and saw a child and thought it was their own. Like waiting in line to go into a show. And then they see their kid over there and they're like,

Yuck. Yuck. Oh, music will play in empty rooms and when you stop to check or look at the speakers, nobody is in the control room. And a lot of the spirits will make sure that the building is being treated well and work is getting done. So that being said, here's your last.

And that's why we draw. Okay. Polite shadow man. Oh, I'm pumped for this. This is a wild one. Me after death. That's pretty good. What the fuck?

So... Oh, boy. Like I said, a lot of the spirits are very protective of the area, and they like to make sure that the work is actually getting done. So if the staff are not working, they will find a polite shadow man either watching them from the doorway or politely banging on the walls next to them

like if there's a wall here it'll bang right here so you go and like realize you should get off your phone which I assume is what they're doing that doesn't seem very polite no but also he will stand behind you

and tap on your shoulder and you'll turn around and see a shadow man tapping on your shoulder to be like, get to work. But apparently he's only ever there when you're not working, so it's kind of just like keep you in line. If you do your work, you never see him, so there's your reward. He has a nice straw hat, though. I would see him all the time if I was working there.

They also see the ghosts of multiple well-dressed men walking around the corners into dead ends, and people will follow the person, and nobody is there when they get to the dead end. The spirits will watch over construction in the building. In 2000, during a lot of the restoration, there was a painter that was restoring the theater auditorium, and Hughes was seen walking over the scaffolding and onto the restoration, there was a painter that was restoring the theater auditorium and Hughes was seen walking

over the scaffolding and onto the balcony and when the workman asked what he wanted, he just stared at him and then vanished. And then pointed at a picture of like, oh who's that guy? I saw him earlier and it was Hughes. Another worker that day complained

that a man in a hat climbed down from the balcony to the scaffolding and stopped at where he was working. And the man in the hat leaned over the painter's shoulder to inspect closely at his work. And later he overheard the painter, the one in the first story. He later overheard that another electrician was also complaining about a man who was leaning over him too closely to watch him work and he was also a man in a hat they all discovered that the man leaning over them very intensely was the same person and they all quit that day which was the smartest thing they could have ever done me too and another usher was cleaning out the theater after a matinee

looked at the seats and saw the same man in a hat that was about to leave. He went to the man, and the man then came back and sat down and waited for the usher to approach him. So, like, intelligently saw him coming. No. The usher got up to him and said, you need to leave the theater. The matinee is over. He blankly stared for what felt like an eternity, and when the usher looked down at him sitting in the seat,

realized he had no torso. Ah! Listen. He also had no legs, in case anyone's wondering if it was just the midsection. Well, I did. I thought he was just invisible in the middle. He had no legs.

No, he had nothing below his chest, and he was just floating in the seat staring at him. I don't like torso-related conversations. And he was also a man in a hat. So apparently the man in the hat is the creepiest one. But that is all the ghosts. Thank you, Em. Oh, man.

Good job, Em. Thank you. Hold on, let me finish this one. This is where our ad goes, usually. Mm-hmm. Because Christine has to finish her wine. Oh, someone said hello. Hello, fresh.

Okay, she did that, not us. It wasn't me. Oh, wait, do you need a picture? Okay. All right, tell me need a picture? Okay. All right. Tell me when I can show them. Oh, actually, here's the fun part. I actually don't know what Christine's doing, so...

No, don't hit me. Christine's story. Ooh, what a mystery. Are you guys ready for a... It could be anything. True crime story? That's so much fun. Okay, so this is the story of Clara Phillips,

a.k.a. the Tiger Woman. I know, it's mysterious. I really, if I knew you would do that, I don't know if I would have. I've never heard of her. Yeah, I know, but I don't know. I'm ready to be wowed. You're going to be wowed. So actually I'm going to take you back to the twenties. Well,

the roaring twenties as they are LA LA is at its prime. Um, actually in the twenties, LA finally reached, I'm sorry. Is there a fly? What's happening? There's just a bug. Are you dancing? Like, what's... It's just, like, really, like... Like, interpretive. There it is. It just... It really likes you. I really just want to smack you in the face,

because it's like... If you fucking touch me... I mean, I won't. But there were a couple times where I was like, I forgot people were watching. Yeah, I saw your hands going real close to my face.

I was just... I'm sorry. I swear to God, Em. We're in our 20s. I'm sorry. I swear to God. Roaring 20s. I'm there. I'm back at, I'm there. We're in the roaring 20s. I'm sorry.

Are you there? I'm there. I'm there. Okay, get there. The fly's there too. Yeah. I'm sure it is. I'm sure it is.

Take it away. Take it away. Here's the thing. We're in the 20s in Los Angeles. LA just reached one million residents. Wow. Big city life. Woohoo.

Cowabunga, dude. Wow, this is like rife for M one-liners today. Loving it. Oh, yeah. Loving it. I was on a plane for 10 hours today. I didn't really get to socialize so i'm feeling real extroverted and chatty suit of fed yep oh there it is again there's two of

them and i swear to god that looks like a geo hair where did that come from drink oh god all right also in the 1920s speaking of your story walt disney showed up he he showed up on the scene oh just in general did his jam uh you know how he did here okay actually i'm gonna be totally honest with you i got sucked into um walt disney's wikipedia article while i was researching this isn't it fascinating it is if you guys don't know anything about walt disney and his like the whole disney history i mean it is below your mind and i'm not like a disney person but like wow it was fascinating so i got real sucked up in that have you looked into like the um the like the underground tunnels yeah that's bananas you know that's the fun part when you

start hitting all the footnotes and you start going. Well, here's the thing. I also, I dated someone who worked at Disney. I can confirm all that. Like, because I would be like, is it true? And she's like, oh, yeah, that's really true. The secret passageways? Yeah, but like, okay, you apparently, do you know the, there's some X-rated stuff going on at Disney in the tunnels, which we're not going to talk about. What?

You can't just say there's X-rated stuff and we're not going to talk about it. I'm just going to say people in costumes, it gets weird. That's all I know. That's all I know. What? And that's why we drink. Jesus, that is why I drink. I mean, I'm out of wine, but...

No, I didn't bring a box. Your runner isn't here today. I thought maybe I'm out of wine, but... No, I didn't bring a box. Your runner isn't here today. I thought maybe I did. Eva? I'm sorry. No, because if I do that, Eva will literally get up and do it. So don't worry. Yeah, she's way too nice.

No, she's too nice to me. I'm ready for a little person to just run up here. Let me tell you about this. We're in the 1920s, and Walt Disney is there. Okay? Yeah. Okay. this we're in the 1920s and walt disney is there okay yeah okay so it's july of 1922 a 23 year old woman named peggy caffey hit the picture button oh i feel like a grandma hit the big purple button by the way for my birthday christine took me to nickelodeon studios and we were trying to she took me on a tour, and there was a bunch of children dancing, and she literally said,

What did I do? I don't remember. I was drinking wine. She was like, it was like a bring your family and friends thing to the studios, and so it was like on our birthday week, and she was like, do you want to see a bunch of statues of Rockers of Modern Life? And I was like, fuck yeah. There was a bunch of children dancing in the yard, and she literally goes, Blaze, is that the Bruno Mars?

Ah! Anyway, here's your fucking picture. You're a fucking demon. You're a literal demon. Love you. Look, this is Peggy, okay? God damn, you are a demon and a half. My throat hurts.

Carry on. Where to God? This is Peggy. She's 23, and she lives in Long Beach. We know where that is. Yep. You're not happy. I'm not happy with you, no. Okay.

So, okay, she's living in Long Beach. Suddenly, she hears from an old pal she hadn't heard from for a couple years named Clara Phillips. So she, Peggy and Clara, had been chorus girls together, and they had actually met two years before when they were playing in a pantages performance together. I know, right? Wow, a lot of full circles here with the Mickey Mouse and the... Can I just do this? How do I... Yeah. Remember, you go... I go, I have to count circles here with the Mickey Mouse. Can I just do this? How do I?

Yeah. Remember, you go, oh. I have to count? Wrong way. Wrong way. Shits. Remember, you have to say, shit. Shit.

There it goes. There you go. There really is like a, we actually had to do that. No, we literally test it out. We go, shit. You have to do it for like three I's of shit. Shit. There's a whole rhythm.

So that's Clara. Clara. That's her friend that she had met doing the Pantages show. So it's two years later and Peggy I think there's actually a photo. That's Clara in her performance outfit. Yeah, what a stunner.

Oh yeah. So Peggy and Clara had lost touch because Peggy gave up show business to get married and moved to Long Beach and uh Clara had kind of continued her show business thing um so it's two years later later Peggy is shopping in Los Angeles and she runs into Clara and her mother um they kind of get to talking and they're like oh it's been a while since I've seen you and about a week later Clara shows up at Peggy's house and she's like hey let's reconnect which by the way if that if someone does that just be like no thank you because that i mean even if it's like

through facebook messenger like firm pass are like no ships in the night right we've pat we've moved past that um so she shows up at her doorstep, and she's like, let's go shopping. So in case, I know you're all wondering, so they did go shopping, and they did go to Woolworths, and they did buy slippers. Wouldn't you?

I know you were wondering. So Peggy was like, well, I didn't notice anything too odd except that Clara was kind of quiet and meditative. So so she's like okay well we're done with our shopping trip let's move on the next day Clara shows up at her door again and this time she's like I have something to tell you so Clara little backstory when so Clara got married as a teenager to a man named armore phillips who became a successful oil stock salesman in the 20s so he was like a successful businessman sure and she married him

when she was i think 14 woof woof woof indeed um so at this wait what year is this again the 20s yeah is that like a is that a normal thing then? It's fine. This guy goes, yeah, yeah, that's fine. He's like, oh, I've been there. No, no, no. He's like, oh, it's cool. I was there. It's not my thing, but...

It's cool. It's fine. It's an NBD. All right. I'll rock it. It's cool. It's fine. So she was super jealous of her husband.

And so at this point, she's 23. And she's like, I think my husband has been seeing another woman. And Peggy's like, well, no, of her husband. And so at this point, she's 23. And she's like, I think my husband has been seeing another woman. And Peggy's like, well, no, of course not. Why would you think that? And she goes, well, I followed him around for several weeks. That'll do it. And he was with another 14-year-old.

And she's like, I realized he has been turning his attentions toward a seductive bank clerk named Alberta Meadows. And Alberta was a 21-year-old widow whose husband... I know! Well, look, if you're getting married at 14, I mean, that's... Seven years. Her husband had died when she was 19.

Oh, that's wrong. You gotta go... I'm sorry, it's counterintuitive. That's Alberta. What we're not gonna do is judge someone on their looks. Listen. I'm sure she has a great heart.

Oh, no. Oh, no? Oh, no. Well, okay, then you guys can judge. There's Alberta. Sorry. So, no? Oh, no. Well, okay, then you guys can judge. There's Alberta. Sorry. So, Alberta... Listen, Alberta...

She's 21, and she doesn't look 20. Like, when I was 21... No, I mean, she's aging poorly. I mean, to be fair, like, when I was 21, I didn't have a set of pearls like that. I mean, also, to be fair, in the 20s, like, they didn't have a set of pearls like that I mean also to be fair in the 20s like they didn't have

Neutrogena you know like she was doing her best with what she had right I think she looks beautiful let's move on so I feel like those like

girls in the 30s in the bathroom you're being that that fucking bitch in the bathroom to be fair it sounds like you're talking about them

cause where we left off I told you that they cross over these stories I To be fair, it sounds like you're talking about them. I told you that they cross over these stories. Yeah, because you were like, she says, I have something to tell you. The Pantages. They performed in the Pantages. I hear you. So here's what happened. Peggy was like, you're probably overanalyzing this. I don't think your husband's

cheating. And Claire was like, no. I know that he has been paying to fix up Alberta's car, and he's also no I know that he has been paying to fix up Alberta's car and he's also bought her a wristwatch as a gift but girls can't read time in the 20s oh gosh and she was apparently Alberta was like look at this beautiful watch I got I bought myself for my birthday and Claire was like my husband bought that for you so she was like real mad. So then she's like, but let's go shopping again. And so Peggy was like, all right. And Clara was kind of like, you know how there's like a pair of friends and one of them is kind of like, we're doing this.

Like the bossy, like, let's go, let's go, let's go. It's definitely not me. No, that's me. It's you. I'm like, Christine, I'm not telling you where we're going, but just be ready this day go so clara's like i'm on it we're going shopping clara led them to a hardware store where she bought a hammer for 15 cents okay but that's a deal yeah i know i would i would take you to a hardware store too if it was 15 cents I'd buy eight of those hammers apparently she asked the clerk

if he thought it was heavy enough to kill a woman and the clerk thinking it was a joke said yes it is if you hit her hard enough with it anything is possible if you believe what's that Disney quote?

Like, dream it and believe it or whatever the fuck? If you dream it, believe it? Yeah, exactly. Obviously, that's what was happening. So Clara bought the hammer for 15 cents. Then they did what you and I would do or any two pals would really do after a long day of shopping.

They went to a speakeasy in Long Beach and had a good time drinking bathtub gin for the rest of the afternoon. You're right. Clara was, okay, so as I said Clara was like dragging Peggy all over town. So finally she's like Peggy, get in the cab and we're going back to

LA. And Clara's like, okay, but my or Peggy's like, but my husband lives here and I want to go see him. And she was like, Peggy, get in the cab, and we're going back to L.A. And Peggy's like, but my husband lives here, and I want to go see him. And she was like, too bad, we're going back to L.A. She was like that friend. So she brought Peggy back to L.A. All right, I see what you're doing. I'm just kidding. So Clara brought Peggy back to L.A., and they incidentally ended up at 9th and Main Street outside the bank where Alberta worked, which I looked up on Google Maps, and incidentally, it's now a Nike store.

Just do it! Good one, man. He's full of one-liners i love it so they're waiting outside this bank where she works right and they've had several bathtub gin drinks which i can only imagine is quite a time i bet you can relate i mean listen in the beginning when we used to record until, in the beginning, when we used to record until 5 in the morning, who knew what was going to happen?

Who knew, really? My parents are really worried about me. Okay. So finally after... Okay, so they're waiting there for like an hour. They finally see Alberta leaving work, and Clara walks up to her. Oh, and they've met at a Christmas party or something because her husband worked with her. And she's like,, like, met at, like, a Christmas party or something because her husband, like, worked with her.

And she's like, oh, man, it's so good to see you, Alberta. Could you give me and my friend Peggy a ride to my sister's house in Montecito Heights? And Alberta's like, yeah, okay, I guess so. And so the two hop into Alberta's car. And when they reach the end of Montecito Drive, which, by the way, at that point, was like a winding dirt road, like, surrounded by woods,

which nowadays is like, that's not called Los Angeles. That's the exact opposite. It's literally the exact opposite. But so they were, like, in this, like, forested area of Los Angeles, and she's like, hey, do you mind, Alberta,

if we pull over and have a private chat? Yeah, drive into the city and we'll chat. Let's go to a coffee shop. And Alberta's like, okay, sure. So they got out of the car, and Clara asks Alberta if her husband, Armour, had paid for her new tires on her Ford car that they were driving in. And Alberta's like, no,

I bought those tires. And Clara's like, well, what about that watch you're wearing? Who paid for that? And Alberta's like, I paid for that, and I can show you the receipt. And instead of being like, sure, show me. Oh, thank you!

Who did that? I love you. Thank you to my new friend. Milkshake is coming next. No, I'm kidding. I'm kidding. Now I feel like an asshole. Thank you.

Thank you. Cheap joke. Give him a round of applause for real. Thank you. Wow, that was so nice. Thank you. That you. Cheap joke. Give him a round of applause for real. Thank you. Wow, that was so nice. Thank you. That was so kind. Okay. Whoa, this is going to make this a lot easier. Okay. Okay, so she's like,

well, who paid for that watch? She's like, I can show you a receipt. And instead of saying, oh, yeah, why don't you show me a receipt? She pulls that 15 cent hammer out of her coat and fucking hits her in the forehead with it. Like really hard. Like I feel like I said

Like hard enough that that hard man was that hard guy was correct. He was like, I gave her advice and she took it. I heard what I i said the hardware man not the hard man whoops you know what's can you are you surprised nobody's surprised so she hits her right in the fucking forehead yikes and i know it sounds like a 15 cent hammer doesn't seem but she hit her right in the forehead. Got her good.

Got her good. And so Alberta is still, like, conscious and starts running down the hill. And Peggy, who's, like, in the car, this poor girl. With her new tires on her Ford. No, Alberta's Ford. Oh, damn. I thought someone was going to, like, get her. Oh, I see what you're saying.

Peggy's in the backseat, like, I didn't sign up for this you just showed up and we performed at the pantages together so peggy's in the back seat and sees alberta running down the hill like covered in blood so she decides to run in the opposite direction which fair but in the article i read that she kind of wrote she was was like, well, I was looking for help, which, also fair. But again, we're in fucking, like, mystical world Los Angeles where there's no fucking houses for miles. Like, I don't know what world this is,

but, so she starts running. She can't find anybody who, like, lives in this part of town. So she kind of, like, turns and sees both of the women running back up the hill toward her it's like it's ridiculous it's alberta has like blood coming out of her head and uh clara is running behind her um so clara this is this is really awful i don't like don't

even know how to tell this in a not awful way, so I'm just going to say it in an awful way. So Clara catches up to Alberta and smashes her fucking head in with a hammer until the hammer breaks, and Alberta is dead. And then, because that's not enough, she rolls a fucking 50-pound boulder onto her chest to be like, well, this way she's really dead like somehow has the fucking like how are you that strong she just has the energy to roll a fucking

50 pound boulder onto her body and is like okay that'll do it the los angeles times article i read was like when peggy had finished vomiting on the side of the road and I was like oh no so when Peggy had finished vomiting on the side of the road Clara told her to get back in the car she told Peggy that if she I mean this is like mean girls times 800,000 like she's like get in the car she told Peggy that if she told anyone about this even her own husband she would kill her with a hammer too so poor Peggy's like also Peggy's like 22 or 23 and she's like I don't know what to do so she goes Clara like you're covered in blood because Clara was drenched in blood and Clara says that's what she said and it's creepy clara literally goes get your handkerchief out and

wipe my face off while she's driving the car that's the shit we'd make eva do yeah eva wipe this blood off my face she literally forced peggy to wet the blood off her face and then was like give me your gloves because peggy was wearing gloves and made her face and then was like, give me your gloves. Because Peggy was wearing gloves and made her give her her gloves so her hands would be covered. Because she had blood on her hands. And poor Peggy's like, okay, I guess. And so then Clara

fucking dropped Peggy off and drove Alberta's brand new Ford back to her own house, leaving Alberta's body behind. She got home. She's still like covered in blood even though she's wearing peggy's gloves um and she throws her arms around her husband armor and she says with her bloody hands that are hidden she's wrapped around her she's covered in blood she's just crazy so she's like give me your gloves so my hands aren't bloody and now she's hugging her husband yes so she grabs her

husband armor and she says quote darling i have killed the one you love most in this world now i'm going to cook you the best supper you ever had okay and what do you think it was was it was it his lover no but what do you think it was? Was it his lover? No, but what do you think the supper was? Was it steak? I don't know it. I'm just wondering. I assumed like it...

In a real... I'm like fantasizing like what could possibly... I mean, the classic answer would be like, oh, it's the body that she just killed. No, God, no. That's not what... I would imagine like... mean, the classic answer would be like, oh, it's the body that she just killed. No, God, no. That's not what, I would imagine like. No, no, she literally was like, I will cook you your favorite fucking meal.

Oh, she meant that part romantically? Yeah, she was like, I've done it. I've killed your love. I thought in the same deranged way. She's like, I killed her and now you're going to eat it. No? Okay, I need a therapist. Got it.

If you need a minute to catch up that's fine no i'm there okay no she just was like thought this was like the most romantic gesture of all time okay well i hope then she cooked him steak let's go with that because they didn't actually tell me and i was actually really annoyed because i looked at a lot of articles and everyone was like she cooked him the best meal ever and i was like well why the fuck aren't you if it's the best meal ever it's newsworthy yeah yeah you got about it you if you're gonna know that if you're gonna know how much of her hands are covered in blood you gotta tell me what she cooked so apparently she cooked him the best meal ever and then um meanwhile police obviously found the body of alberta and said she was so mangled it looked as though she had been attacked by a tiger so later woman when newspapers got this info they gave Clara Clara the nickname tiger woman oh no

and I decided someone was gonna draw this for me so let's see what they drew oh my very different than what the answer is. Monique drew this, and I was like, you are very talented. Oh, you're here? Oh, Monique is here. Wow, I forgot. I actually, I feel like I knew that because she wrote, like, see you later. And I was like, I got to remember she's there.

I know, but it was so good that i was like her highlighter is killing it i know her but this is from um from uh what married with children is that a character from peggy from married with children as tiger woman that's awesome i know i was like god damn people are people are talented and it's not me uh okay so tiger woman thank you thank you seriously thank you monique that's really a great drawing so our more her husband is like oh fuck and he panics. And he tells Clara, you gotta get out of here. So he drives her to Pomona. They abandon Alberta's car. Then they return to LA

and spend the night at a downtown hotel before Armour then puts Clara on a train to Arizona. So he's like, goodbye, get out of here. I'll cover for you. Oh. Yeah, I know, right? I know. I mean, she must have cooked a really good steak

that sounds like really the best dinner to just alter your mind he's like uh-uh so a few hours later he's like oh what have i done um and then he's like i've made a big mistake big mistake good one good one i love it i love it write that down eva um so they they drive okay they did drive to pomona we already went there we're in arizona now we're in arizona sure so they rate okay so he goes to the police and he's like my fucking wife murdered someone and they're like uh-oh okay so they raid the train that's what they said back then oh okay that's what i say too okay they raided the train and she was arrested and her child created a sensation people were literally sending like love letters and flowers and candy to her cell because she was like a beautiful white rich lady and they were like oh wow you know she's like a she was like a media yeah she was like a media sensation and people were in love with her um i have a photo

here she was oh that's her well that's her uh that's her um mug. I also love here that it says, Native Texas Housewife. I feel like that's quite a title. Quite a title. You've got to really live up to that. So that's her. But so here's a newspaper article that says, Convicted Hammer Slayer. Okay. Oh, yeah, she escapes. I'm not allowed to tell you about that yet

okay let's stay there listen i put the pictures in the order you told me no i think i messed up the order it's fine i mean we just got a little it's my fault okay so people were sending letters and flowers and she was smiling in all her photos and people were like her husband was always with her like no i support her to the end and then on the fucking stand claire has the gall to accuse peggy remember peggy of being the one to murder her friend and she's like no peggy bought the hammer and peggy was the one who killed uh alberta can you imagine how jaw drops like awful i know awful! Poor fucking Peggy is already traumatized by watching this girl

roll a boulder onto this other lady. And then she's like, no, she did it. Poor Peggy. So poor Peggy is like, I really don't have anything to do with it. Now this, poor Peggy is right. Now this is interesting. So there's like a jury.

The three women on the jury wanted to see her hang. Peggy? Yep. No, not Peggy. Peggy. Claire. Claire. I was like, what?

So nobody believed her story about Peggy. Sorry. No, everyone was like, you're so full of shit. So in the 1920s way that you say that. So the three women on the jury wanted to see her hang but supposedly her smile had softened the hearts of the male jurors and she was just so sweet and she batted her eyes yeah that's all it takes. Yeah, what an angel. So the women, the female jurors, compromised on second-degree murder.

So she was tried and found guilty of second-degree murder. And a few days later, I know I already kind of ruined this, but she... Let me guess. Sawed her way out of her jail jail cell and escaped i know right apparently not just a pretty face guys i know you all thought it but she apparently sawed her way out of her jail cell climbed to the roof and jumped to another building and then they found six hacksaws in her cell. Apparently,

apparently, the fact that she was like kind of wealthy and like white and pretty, like she had talked another, like a guard into kind of helping her with the escape. But still. I need a couple hacksaws. Shh. Just six. I only need six. You're not getting in trouble. I'm not getting in trouble. Shh. Just six. Don't. I only need six.

You're not getting in trouble. I'm not getting in trouble. Just, just, I'll pay you later. One hacksaw is not enough. So six hacksaws later, she fucking escapes, and she's on the lam. So, hold on. Let me rearrange those. Okay.

All right. okay all right within four months after a newspaper reporter tipped authorities to her whereabouts uh clara was found in honduras yeah that's where she'd escaped to and she was brought back in handcuffs uh she was in jail for 12 years and while behind bars, these are some fun things she did. Oh, I can't wait. Do you want to know all the things she did in 12 years? Oh, yeah. Here we go. One, she found religion. Wow. Two,

she trained to be a dental technician. Three, she learned to play the saxophone. Four, she wrote and directed a play called A Satire of Stage Life. And five, she organized a seven-piece orchestra. Wow.

Thank you, Clara, for your contributions to the arts. A renaissance woman, thank you, indeed. In a 1931 jailhouse interview... Okay, should I see what's next? I don't remember. I mean, it's a game of luck at this point. Oh, yeah, we can look at that. Okay. Okay.

So this happened a while ago. So she was in court. I listened. I listened to you. I don't know why you listened to me. That's your own damn fault. Okay. So I didn't know what to do for this, and that's why we draw.

So I did a court. What did I do? A courthouse. I don't even know. A courthouse chorus girl. And today, I was like, nobody sent me a fucking drawing for this. So I posted in our secret Facebook group. And I was like, send me fucking photos because I need a lot of help.

And I got two really great ones. And I love this. I like how they both show a little leg. Oh, there it is. Judge Hot Pants. So this is from Kiara and Valerie. Thank you. So that's that.

Oh, here we go. This is her missing on the lam. Sorry. It's like all of a sudden, like, I was, like, the prepared one today. And all of a sudden, you're, like, doing my eighth grade report. It's only because that one headline I didn't realize said that she escaped and that ruined. I know. It was a snowball effect.

It ruined the whole thing. I'm sorry. Oh, God. Go away. You're not supposed to see that yet. This is so fun, isn't it? Okay. Okay, guys.

So she's, anyway, she's a dental technician who's like religious now and has an orchestra of, or something. So she says, in a 1931 jailhouse interview, and I quote,

I don't know whether I killed Alberta Meadows or not, but if I did, I did it for mother love. I fought with Alberta on top of Montecito Drive to protect the only love I have ever known. I did what any mother in the world would do if she saw her baby being taken from her.

What are you doing? This is a dramatic reading. Do you want me to hold that? Anything for you? I don't know how to get this out. You just got to really want it, I think. There you go. Ah, Jesus.

All right. Thank you. Our more Elle Phillips is my baby. Wait, what? Her husband. Oh, okay. Yep. Our more Elle Phillips is my baby. He has been my only baby. Wait, what? Her husband. Oh, okay. Yep. Armour L.

Phillips is my baby. He has been my only baby. He is my very life, and when I realized he was being taken from me, I fought, fought, fought, so that I might always have him. I know this is like slam poetry. I fought, fought, fought. I fought, fought, fought, so that I might always have him forever.

Now bow. Thank you, thank you. Thank you. You really even scared me, huh? Wow, that was a wild ride. I feel really weird about that. So she was released in 1935, so after only 12 years.

And people in California were pissed off because she had been, basically she had been promised a guaranteed parole date because she agreed not to fight her extradition from Honduras. So they were like, okay, well, if you don't fight it, then we'll guarantee to parole you after 12 years. So nobody had a choice. She was paroled after only 12 years in 1935. And when she was released from prison,

hundreds of people gathered and shouted, tiger woman, tiger woman, which I don't know what that was supposed to do. Support? I mean, it sounds like... I'm sure she loved it. I mean, at the end, it at least paints a picture it paints a picture indeed um and it really plays into my and that's why we draw so at least i can just

when in doubt yeah there's the silver lining it took like 80 years and it's just all for me uh okay so So, ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-beep-boop-bop. Shit. Okay. So, she actually was supposed to be released earlier, believe it or not. But she had lost some time because she had been writing explicit love letters to a man named Thomas J. Price, who was a young convict working as an electrician. And she was writing him very sexual letters. So they were like, we're going to add years onto your time. Oh.

I know. So she got out after 12 years anyway and moved to San Diego to care for her mother. And three years later, she and Armore, her baby, baby, baby. Baby, baby, baby, baby. Got divorced. Oh. That was a good one so that ended incidentally

Armour her husband while she was you know becoming a dental technician and all this fun stuff she did in jail he also had a lively time

while she was in prison so at various times he faced charges for assault at a Christmas party traffic violations grand theft auto and running a bogus film school

hmm what does that remind you of what bogus bogus films in general i don't know i don't know what does it remind you doesn't doesn't oh that's a business school I was thinking of Trump I just thought phony school and I was like and then I totally neglected film

whoops here's what we got we got here's the funny thing here's the funny thing M I fucking sent you these photos earlier, so you knew this was coming.

Listen, I'm on propranolol right now. I'm blacked out. Em's like, I have a fun idea. It's not like I saw it two hours ago. I really, totally, I'm not here right now. Em's just blown up my spot. Okay, so the first one is a phony. These were supposed to be on two separate slides, Em.

But that's fine. A phony film school get it and then this one somebody said i didn't listen i wanted to give it a little bit of like a heads up like we're not political on this podcast i just thought it was a funny thing to be like oh and so you can't even see it what is i don't know oh it says it's the uh it says it says it's the best film school ever. Ask anyone. And I just thought... That was good. I know. I thought that was pretty clever.

So that was from Norma and Amber. So thank you, Trump Film School. So I loved that. Those are both really good. So that is the story of Clara. Crazy, crazy Clara. Let's see if I can put this back in. There you go.

Anyway, thank you guys so much for coming out to our third live show. We love you so much. It means so much that you're here. And that's why we date! Thank you. If you've got your tab all paved up, feel free to head on out towards our front bar restaurant area. You can hang out there. Once again, we'd be happy to hear your thoughts. Thank you so much for coming. Check us out online for up-to-date shows seven nights a week. Love to see you then.