And That's Why We Drink - E9 The Wandering Cowboy and the Pregnancy Pact, but for Boys

Episode Date: April 2, 2017

In episode 9, Em tells Christine about the Sallie House, botched surgeries, hoofprints, Gateway to Hell and all. Meanwhile, Christine tells the story of the indestructible Michael Malloy, which includes a lot of drinking, snapping, and rat poison. Basically, this episode is a spin-off of Newsies. And that’s why we drink!

hey m oh hey did you not see me here i'm still thinking that's on pepper i'm trying to figure out the other the next line m was just rapping for me i was and i forgot a line this is a perfect segue though because we just started our own patreon page and uh btw there's a lot of cool uh rewards for all the tiers and one of them is going to be a blooper reel a blooper reel each week you get if if you donate you get access to a blooper reel and uh m's beautiful wrapping may or may not make an appearance yeah i was just wrapping salt and peppa to her and i didn't know she was recording it so apparently that's something you guys get to enjoy you're welcome if you donate to us you want to explain what a patron oh yeah and also our website so wow jesus christ so we created a website and it took me about like

48 hours of work so it's i literally have not been doing anything else in my life. So please look at it. If only to like, make me feel better about how many views we get. So we built, okay. So we made a website. It's announced why we drink.com. Um,

go check it out. It's pretty cool. There's some little bias of us and some other fun stuff. And then on the support page, uh, links to our Patreon where you can help, uh, you know,

contribute to our podcast and help us kind of offset some of the costs of audio equipment and merchandise which we're working on yeah hint hint so take a look oh and i don't want to like you know ruin the surprise but geo is sort of involved in the patreon i haven't even told em this wait he is how there's a prize you'll have to go what's the prize well maybe if you looked at the patreon page like our listeners my wi-fi doesn't work in this apartment so i can't here i'll give you my password all right everybody plug your ears wait really i'm just kidding oh well i will but i'm not gonna say it on air oh no i do want your password is it geo is geo involved no i don't even know No. You're wrong. What is it?

All right, we're back after a commercial break. Casper mattresses are amazing. They are. Hey, guess what? The password didn't work. Okay, pause. All right, Em doesn't know what capital letters mean. Yeah, I fucked up.

All right, we're back. And Audible is cool. This was just a horrible joke. You can listen to books about ghosts. Speaking of ghosts. Yeah. What the? That was so smooth.

Your segues are incredible today. I've been practicing. I haven't seen Em. She went on a vacation. I did. I went to Nashville. It was the first time we're seeing each other since. Yeah, so I'm just like really nervous. To look at my face? Nashville. It was the first time we're seeing each other. So I'm just like really nervous to look at my face. Yeah. That's the first time a girl has said that in so long. You're welcome. Thanks. Um, yeah, no,

I went to Nashville and actually that is a pretty smooth segue because I wanted to say something about going to Nashville. Oh, so, uh, first of all, I want to thank all of my friends who were there who have been listening to us because they drove from Virginia to Tennessee and it took like almost 10 hours. And I guess the whole time they were driving, they were listening to us. That's so sweet. And then the bridesmaids that I hadn't met in the bridal party were all like really excited to tell me how they, like what they thought of it and all that. Oh my God. So we went on a it wasn't

really i guess it was a pub crawl it was like a tour slash pub crawl and uh the tour guide was really into ghost she actually was talking about certain hauntings at different places which wasn't really i don't think that was part of supposed to be part of the tour but she talked about it anyway and every time she asked if anyone believed in ghosts, everyone in the party just stared at me, expecting me to be like, by the way. And it was also very LA too, because she kept bringing up different shooting locations for the show Nashville. And I happened to work on Nashville. And so every time she brought the show up, everyone looked at me too. Basically, everyone was expecting me to interject and just take the stage. You're just so relevant.

I'm topical. You're so topical. But so at the end, at the last pub, she ended up standing next to us and she found out that I used to be a paranormal investigator. Right. And we were swapping stories and she ended up like talking to me about how she listens to podcasts and I was like, I have a podcast.

And so, her name is Christy. Hey, Christy. And she said that she was going to check us out and start throwing our name out

on other tours. That's so sweet. We should make business cards so we can just like... Just throw them to people in Nashville. Hand them. Yeah. Also, wait, I have one more thing like just throw them to people in Nashville.

Yeah. Also, wait, I have one more thing I have to say about people in Nashville. So we've been getting a lot of fans and I have been either professionally or not professionally adding them on our social media. And someone, her name is, I'm going to mess it up. Brianna? Brianna. Bri Brianna Brianna anyway she lives in Nashville and she's a fan of ours and I snapchatted her she added me on snapchat and so I added her back and I took a picture and I was like hey I don't know you but I have no idea what we should do while

we're in Nashville so could you give me some options that's so cute and she actually helped out helped out a lot. We went to a couple of places she talked about. So if she's listening, thank you for the, thank you for the help while I was in Tennessee. That is beyond. How was your weekend while I was gone? It was just really awful. I'm without you. I know. I just have to say something real quick. So I just told him this, but my, so, you know, March madness, I don't know if anybody like pays any attention i guess some people really care and some people don't care at all i'm one of those people i don't usually care but like my boyfriend's family does a bracket or like a league every year so i i was like i'll just throw a bracket in and somehow i don't know what's

happening but his dad called this morning and was like um what is happening with christine's bracket and we were like what do you mean and we looked at it and i guess i'm in the hundredth percentile of all brackets on espn like i was in 99.9 now i'm at 100 and i just looked and my boyfriend texted me like look at your bracket and i guess so there are 13 million brackets out there on espn this year and i'm ranked 1827 and i guess the prize is like a trip to Hawaii. So I'm like, oh, shit. Oh, cool. So I suddenly care about basketball.

So that's fun for me. That's awesome. But I just mostly I just really enjoy that his family, his dad works at ESPN. So they're like super into all this. And like, I always come in and I'm like, I don't know what I'm doing. And then I beat everybody. You know, you are every like sports fanatics nightmare because they would kill to be in your bracket right now. You're like that girlfriend that plays video games once with their boyfriend and wins.

Yeah. Yeah. Well that's, yeah. So I, anyway, I just thought that was a weird, fun fact that'll probably never happen again. So I want to like relish this a hundred percentile moment. You're such an athlete. Wow. I just don't even know what i'm doing so anyway that's all uh boring sports aside this is not a sports podcast thank god can you imagine i would rather run off a cliff well are we gonna talk about why we drink we can do that after the fact i'm just drinking because of this like i'm just suddenly have anxiety about basketball so uh i'm drinking for a couple reasons but i mean i always am i was gonna say what else is new no i'm currently getting over a cold that i developed in nashville sad um i'm oh by the way i would like to give a shout out to the real

wild woman of nash the MVP, my mother. Yeah, Linda. At the pub crawl. She was the only one who ended up toppling over and she broke her finger. What? How? I know. That sounds awfully painful.

Everyone else could hold their liquor except poor Linda. Linda parties hard. She actually really wasn't that drunk. She just fell. Oh, one time my mom fell off a porch backwards and into the bushes and everyone thought she had died, but she was fine. Jesus. But she was on the chair and then I guess the wood like broke underneath her.

So she just went like completely toppling backwards off into the front yard, like off of our patio thing. Yeah. My mom and I have an affinity for being really clumsy. Yeah. Like we can just be standing and find a way to get a concussion. I'm not kidding. We were both, when we were in Nashville, we were talking about different ways that we've

both broken our ass bone multiple times. That was a good conversation we had together. My mom's broken her nose like three times. Ew. It's just, we're really good at falling. It's gonna hurt. Anyway, here are my facts for you. Okay. in her nose like three times oh it's just we're really good at falling it's gonna hurt anyway here are my um facts for you okay i'm gonna tell you the milkshake one because it's less interesting

than the alcohol one um you're not supposed to tell people who are listening that what you're about to say is not interesting it's interesting i just think we're gonna have a better conversation about your fact because i'm pretty sure the fact is about you oh probably uh actually it is kind of interesting i was being too negative nearly half of the milkshakes that are bought are in the early morning by people who are commuting to work are you serious yeah what the hell i would have literally never guessed no i've never met anyone who's like you know what i need a good milkshake for breakfast i'm so tired i just need well because i would think that's like heavy and you're already... Yes. You know you're going to have a sugar crash and it will

be like nine in the morning. Exactly. It just seems like so much dairy. I agree with you. I'm not... Wow. I'm just... That's shocking. I just can't believe 50% of milkshakes that are purchased are that early on. Maybe it's like the frappes, like the coffee frappes that count as a milkshake because oh maybe i don't know that's crazy though ready for your alcohol fact man starring you so ready it's not actually one i'm just gonna go with alcohol today okay i i'm down with that this was the title of an actual news article uh a woman you me that's it presumably a woman chugged an entire 200 bottle of cognac rather than give it to airport security oh my god so a line she just went glug glug glug and what a hero well it's funny you say that because the picture i'm looking at says, not all heroes wear capes. Yes! So, you know, you're not wrong. What a fucking hero.

I don't even know what cognac tastes like, but I can guarantee you I wouldn't do that. No, I don't know how she did that. But if it's a $200 bottle, I guess you... Can you imagine what that plane ride was like? But like... Oh, I was going to say they can... Oh, yeah. True.

She was hammered. She's fizzucked. She's probably vomiting cognac on everyone true also you're right because i was gonna say oh can't they ship it for you but it's but like it's liquid it's it's more than the alcohol you can't like mail alcohol oh yeah it's alcohol i was just thinking liquid it's like it's glass but you could protect it with bubble wrap oh wait it's literal cognac but that is crazy what the fuck anyway airport security was like damn it we thought we had a 200 bottle of cognac but that is crazy what the fuck anyway airport security was like damn it we

thought we had a 200 bottle of cognac on our hands one time i was going to visit my family for thanksgiving and i thought oh if i bring them some cool props from the studio then you know that would maybe they'll finally love me maybe didn't work did it it didn't because tsa took them away so now they have all these cool movie props no they just throw it in a bucket and then i guess put it in the trash but it was like a it was like a giant jug of fake blood i can't even imagine what they thought wrong with you they just saw a giant jug of blood what is wrong what is wrong with you trying to travel with that i don't know but i'd like to think i gave him a good story probably yeah um that's funny are you sure you really didn't one time

tell me something interesting so i can be like wow that's funny that's so interesting um what are you drinking oh oh i'm drinking uh a robert mondavi cabernet and actually you were right i was wrong you know more about me than i know about myself i know because i feel like duh casually i don't even know what you're talking about but i believe i went on this wine safari last weekend and there were zebras and giraffes and it was basically and water buffalo and it was basically the only thing that i've ever like and wine and like you just carried a glass of wine around it was like a vineyard so you like did the tour it was a hike and then at the end they like gave

you wine so it was like zebras and water buffalo it was so freaking cool so anyway uh i was drinking all the wines and i'm like god this red wine is so good what is it and they're like it's a cabernet then over the week i was like you know what i had this revelation that cabernets are my favorite not sure oh or straws but you said one day that calves were my favorite and i was like you're wrong but um alas i know i know i know what are you drinking i remembered this time because i literally just held it up in your face actually you know why because i bought it for you today you did you did buy me my milkshake um no i was in a bit of a time crunch so i texted

christine and asked her to buy it for me so it's just chocolate but it's very good house of pies baby it tastes free oh good well that venmo you got uh says i mean it's still currently free i haven't been that that is true you have not so currently tastes really good i'll just like take i'll just siphon money from our Patreon page into my own bank account. Yeah, guys, if you want to buy me a milkshake, you just. Oh yeah. There's two teams, team wine and team milkshake. So Em and I are going to see who.

So wait, what is this about? So there's, there's multiple levels of how they can donate. Right. So there are tiers of like where you can donate and the lowest level, there's a $2 team wine and a $ dollar team milkshake and if you can pick which one you're on so you're either fueling one of our bad habits uh-huh and uh then you get like a monthly shout out on the podcast if you donate and then the five dollar one yeah it's the sassy the clown level god damn it christine i thought we were a team um all right anyway can we talk about things

that are haunted god yes this is nobody needs anymore whatever's happening although i do have to pause for another um casper slash audible slash shit what's another one uh oh nature bars nature box nature box nature blue apron blueapron.com because i have to get some wine bye okay and we're back uh folks after that blue apron commercial okay um okay i want everyone to know that uh i haven't even told the story yet and christine's lips are purple oh fuck it's just because the air is really dry right yeah of course also geo is currently sleeping right next to me and he's so cute he actually looks like a little angel he's a little baby bunny okay so this is the story of the sally house someone i was gonna send you because someone requested that wait really yeah

a couple days ago shit let me look who it is you don't ever update me well they just sent it and i responded today and i wrote it on the list like m is it on the board no because oh interesting there's only a to-do list on the board now wait erase all of our shit oil change god christine i can't trust you with anything okay wait at rp memoirs requested the sally house oh and said it freaks him out and so i didn't know what he's in for a treat and i'm excited because i've never heard of it okay well me either um so the sally house is located in atchison kansas if i'm saying that right uh it's 508 North 2nd Street, in case anyone in Kansas listens to us, which last I checked was not many. Partly four people.

By the way, if anyone listening to us knows anyone in South Dakota, can you kick their ass and tell them to start listening to us? We have no listeners in South Dakota. Literally nobody. Like, we even have Alaska, Hawaii now. North Dakota, too. The Dakotas really are just on our hands all right well anyway that's just something that needed to be addressed

so that house is in kansas and it was originally constructed in the 1860s for the finney family the patriarch of that family his name was michael finney and he was a doctor and he ran the practice in his home so the lower half of the house was his operation room and his exam room and just the practice in general and then upstairs they lived in the house so one day this little girl comes in who's around six and she gets rushed in by her mom with severe stomach pains and dr finney says that she has appendicitis and needs emergency surgery or else it'll rupture and she'll die so he really does not have much time to waste and uh realizes that she's like really about to die and cannot wait for the anesthetic to kick in no y. So he begins performing the surgery on her while she's still awake.

There's another version of this where she saw the medical tools and freaked out. And so he never got to give her any anesthetic. And so just like, just perform the surgery without it. There was another version where he kind of gave her anesthetic and it was starting to work but he didn't wait long enough it was very so either way it's just awful no matter what he performed an appendix removal on her while she was that's my biggest fear in life so i don't know if she bled out on the table or if he did it wrong but it was basically a botched surgery oh god and she died on the table. I'm, like, cringing. Can you imagine

if you time-traveled into the 1800s and then needed immediate surgery? You would be fucked. And, like, you had a toothache, like, you're, you know, you're done for.

Free cocaine, though. That is true. Yeah. I'm not condoning that I do cocaine. I'm just saying I like the option. You just gotta consider

the pros and cons. Anyway. Okay, so... After that, after the girl died, Like the option. You just got to consider the pros and cons. Anyway. Okay. So after that, after the girl died, oh, we don't know her name, but we, as far as I know, some say that her name was Sally. Some say that they just named her Sally. Oh. Hence the Sally house.

Okay. Um, hence the Sally house. Okay. Uh, the doctor and all the family lived in the house, uh, ancestor after ancestor until about the 1940s. And then the house was sold to multiple families. Although many of them did not stay in the house for very long because of weird activity. Um, many people were waking up with cuts and bruises and some were even found with burnt finger marks in their skin.

And, uh, one thing to take note of is that most of the people that got hurt in this house were all men. And so there's a rumor that it, it's Sally's ghost trying to fight off the doctor. And so she's fighting off whatever grown man she sees. Heartbreaking. trying to fight off the doctor and so she's fighting off whatever grown man she sees heartbreaking so the family that's worth focusing on is tony and deborah pickman who moved into the house in the early 90s uh it started out as little pranks around the house um so there were which to me it sounds more poltergeisty than pranky uh there were pictures that would be found hanging

upside down oh that's creepy which to me says poltergeist that's creepy and get the fuck out yeah uh lights would dim and brighten on their own appliances would turn off and on by themselves um one night the a couple the couple came home uh and found all their kids toys arranged in a circle oh my god and i was like fuck that um okay so in 1993 the pickmans bought the ghost a doll uh what i guess because is that a thing it said that she played a lot with the with the son that the couple had. And so I guess as a gift for being kind or for not hurting him, uh, they bought her, her own doll, her own baby doll. Okay. So they wrapped it and put it in a box and left it on the floor and it didn't get touched

for weeks. And then one day the mom goes in there and the doll is lying next to the box, but the box has been untouched. Ew. Yeah. Yeah. goes in there and the doll is lying next to the box but the box has been untouched ew yeah um also it started to get worse after that which i can't imagine why when you're like actively encouraging it and enabling it right and giving it gifts um their dogs started to growl at nothing, especially in the nursery. Random fires would break out in the house. What? And then they would extinguish themselves.

Ew, that's so creepy. I know. Also, where the operating room was downstairs, it would always be cold. And objects would visibly move in front of you. cold and objects would visibly move in front of you and the husband often would like you would move and you would see that there were scratches on him that came out of nowhere um but again it never attacked the baby or the wife it was just always directed at the husband so i guess the entity got worse um or just got more violent uh, so the husband was originally getting attacked, but now the little scratches were turning into long claw marks and, um, they would appear on

his stomach, on his chest and on his shoulders. Uh, and they looked like, I guess, animal claws, like demon kind of claws. Um, he also started getting possessed. Oh my God. Where after he would take deep sleeps, he would wake up in the middle of his deep sleep, look at his wife and say things to her in a voice that wasn't his and then would fall back asleep. And when he woke up, he wouldn't remember anything he did. So one of the times he fell asleep on the couch and then walked over to his wife and said, he is mine.

And a voice that wasn't my god i just got chills and uh so that's where that was like i guess that was a turning point for them that they were like all right we need to get investigated which once again why don't you fucking move literally the second any toys were moved around the second i go into anywhere and multiple objects are in a circle where I didn't leave them, I'm out. Are the pictures upside down? Yeah. If I ever saw a picture upside down. It gives me hives just to even think about it.

Well, that makes me think of Amityville when the crucifix on the wall turned upside down. That's exactly what I thought of. Literally, that could not be more of a sign. It sounds demonic. Yes. So the family starts making reports and the house is investigated several times. Among those who investigated are several TV networks. So the first one in the early 90s, there was a TV show called Sightings.

Sightings. Yeah, Sightings. And then the A&E channel, the Travel channel, the history channel, the discovery channel, and the sci-fi channel, which my father and stepmother lovingly call Siffy. And Paramount Pictures, which actually created a TV movie called Heartland Ghost. Heartland Ghost. called heartland ghost heartland ghost uh and then numerous psychics came in including barbara connor and peter james were both pretty famous in the medium world and then there were also segments on kq2 news and i think missouri and the channel two four the channel two christ the channel four news in kansas. So it's been well documented. Yeah.

And I guess Paramount Pictures, when they did the TV movie version, they came in and stayed a night just so they could take pictures of the whole house and everything so they could get it right in the movie. Damn. So all of the investigators that went in there and all the TV shows that took pictures and stuff, they all walked away having some sort of paranormal evidence. So there were, they said there was a little girl and a grown woman, which in other rumors of other versions of the story say that there was also a grown woman. And apparently the grown woman was much more evil and violent than the little girl. So some say that the little girl is just warning you when the evil old woman is there oh my god some say that there isn't an old woman and sally is just a poltergeist i really want to close my blinds i'm so creeped out why i

don't know something about this really okay okay we'll just call it Rosa's name. Maybe she'll throw a record or something. So all the investigators walked away with either audio recordings or photographs or EVPs of contact with someone. They also used a Ouija board, a.k.a. my arch nemesis. We'll never touch. My best friend. Wine's your best friend. Shut up. They used all of those things in the technical paranormal world, but then mediums also came in and used things like crystals and pendants and stones. And basically any way you could contact something in this house has been tried and has gotten results.

So my other question is for skeptics out there why don't you go spend a night don't be a little bitch about it yeah yeah so the cool thing about this house being so heavily active is because it's given its frequent amount of activity a lot of investigators will go there as a practice house for investigations. Oh. And they'll use a kind of, it's kind of been deemed a paranormal lab where they can test out. Shit. They can test out equipment and if it works there, there's a chance it will work somewhere else.

Wow. Also, I couldn't find any information on this. So if anyone wants to tweet out to me and lay down some knowledge um the living room there's a video that i saw that i really liked on youtube when i was researching this where someone did a whole house tour and when they were walking through the living room uh they said and here we are in the room known as the gateway to hell i know what which sounds super interesting to me but i looked it up and couldn't find anything about gateway to hell posted the youtube which sounds super interesting to me but i looked it up and couldn't find anything about gateway to hell posted the youtube video um i'm pretty sure it was on the sally house

website or no the the city that this is in atchison kansas has its own website just for all the haunted shit in there oh my god i think they posted a video if you type in like sally house tour on youtube i'm sure you'll find it. It was only like a minute long, but they walked past it and said, here's the gateway to hell. And I was like, out of all of my research, how did I not find anything about that? Seems slightly important. So anyway, there was, there was another, um, like a Reddit user. Cause I tried looking it up, you know, in Reddit because someone's bound to have written about it.

Yeah. up you know and read it because someone's bound to have written about it yeah they said something about at one point investigators went down to the basement and found a false wall and broke it down with a medium there holy shit and the medium said that it when you open it up it was just like a giant black hole and he felt like a hundred spirits hit him in the face and one of them said he was beelzebub which is like that's not okay Prince of Darkness. That reminds me of the jail story where the guy opened the jail cell. Yeah. And he unlocked the lock on it. Yeah.

So something like that. That was the close. And so it was basically a paranormal lab where they would try out a whole bunch of cool stuff. The devices, I'm guessing, I don't really have to read this. I can just kind of mention them. I'm guessing I don't really have to read this I can just kind of mention them but the devices that they used were basically to check electromagnetic fields

and temperature drops and they were taking pictures I think they just left cameras running in every area one of the things that the husband reported was that he always knew when he was about to get attacked because he could feel the temperature drop in the room so they made sure the husband came with them when they did

all these investigations and when the temperature dropped they would film him and they got like they showed the back his back and you could see like a normal back and then if you kind of do like a time lapse all of a sudden scratches would just show up on his back. Which I thought was super cool. And they would go away like overnight. That's so creepy. Also, a very creepy thing about this was throughout the house in the middle of the night, if you woke up, you would see horseshoe like print. Like horseshoe prints, like someone was walking around the house.

And it would be like, I guess the... Like like someone was walking around the house and it would be like i guess like a horse was walking around well like in theory like the devil or something i was like hooved feet i thought you meant like i don't know i haven't met the devil yet so i'm not too sure what he is all right i'm literally doing this kind of cross i don't like this conversation but it's it's like there's like something with hooving feet are walking around i can't believe that was a horse but okay clippity-clop i thought maybe like because they lived in the 1860s they had a horse oh yeah like a cowboy just fucking wanders through at night like oh i can't i can't handle you okay

all right i'm being you in the episode of uh the hinter kaifik murders where you kept being like horses like hey because you're like syndrome is coming out because you were uncomfortable my palms are sweating like crazy and i just can't deal so i'm trying to like lighten the mood with my really unfunny humor you're like literally she's looking around like something with a hoof is gonna come out i'm sweating like a madman. Okay, let me just finish my story, Christine. Okay, so beyond the scratches in his back, they also found a bunch of burn marks on him, a bunch of cuts on him. And the people that were with him also all got burns and cuts on them just from being there.

I can't believe he agreed to go back and do this i think he was like look i just want someone to i just want someone to know that this is going on so he was like i've been scratched and burned before i can do it again if it means you'll figure it out yeah the here are some of the regular things that happened in this house while the uh while the pickman lived there uh voices inside the house oh i'm sorry inside the fucking walls um banging on the other side of the walls to be like help me get out uh flying objects things disappearing and then turning up in weird places full-bodied apparitions male and female um weird they've been seen they've been photographed and if you try to follow them they'll like run into

the walls or disappear in front of you phantom furniture which i think that means furniture that just goes a like a mirage like yeah like you try to sit on it and it's not there like a wingback chair and then it goes away like you just look at and you're like i didn't buy that anyway apparently furniture's haunted too y'all okay sounds of strange animals and human voices coming from nowhere strange animals ew i don't know unexplained fires that pop up and then suddenly self-extinguish um witness accounts uh include a surprisingly large amount of EVPs, which is electronic voice phenomena, which I will get to in a second. So they got a lot of EVPs recorded of strange voices from men, women, and children, sometimes individually, sometimes all at once. And then there were also strange smells emanating from different areas of the house. strange smells emanating from different areas of the house also cameras videos and equipment like investigative equipment in general would all just stop working even if their batteries were brand

new um which is a very regular thing um uh what else oh and visitors would experience moving objects in front of them as well as being scratched or bruised and mysterious uh fluctuation changes from like 100 degrees to 30. um one group of investigators all went in and within 20 minutes had to leave because one of them all of a sudden got really angry and had this episode where he wasn't acting like himself and everyone around him got crazy anxiety and chest pains and they could hear growls coming from the floor. What the fuck? Then someone who decided to stay watched the curtains catch on fire. And then when he turned around to point at them to be like, guys, the curtains are on fucking fire.

They were back to normal. So the last thing I'm going to tell you is when I saw that they got a lot of EVPs of Sally or whatever spirits were there, I was like, oh, well, I kind of want to know what they probably said. Sure. I just saved a couple of them. Oh, my God, Em. All right, calm down. This is the last thing I got to say. I'm freaking out.

They're not really as bad as I think you're thinking they are. Okay. I just grabbed a couple because some of them didn't make too much sense. One was like talking about someone named Tommy, which I didn't, just didn't seem very relevant. Sorry, Tommy. Whoops. But so some of the EVPs they picked up of a little girl voice during investigations was a girl saying, nice to be safe. Another was no tomorrow.

One said, I know you. One said maggots in a growl. One said good night. Another time there was a gargle and they played it backwards and said maggots again. And then this one's kind of fucked up. You could play it forwards or backwards and it will say the same thing and the evp said god picked the wrong time emily the sally house this story for some reason is fucking you up like my arm look at my arm i'm like freaking out i don't know why i think it's

because we didn't meet last week so you you you maybe you lost your you lost your spine on this i had a false sense of security i know i well and also like my biggest fear like one of those deep-seated like since childhood fears is like waking up during surgery or something like that's my true biggest fear is like the anesthesia not working or like you wake up and you can't move or like or like the surgeons don't know you're awake it's like my biggest fear so hearing that and then the little girl who died oh like i would fucking haunt him too yeah i would jeez you know at least she got a couple movie deals out of it that's so creepy okay the So anyway. So, Rance was his name?

Well, his name was RP Memoirs. Okay, RP Memoirs. Let me know how I did. And by her, she means me because I'm the one who checks the Twitter account, so I'll tell her. Yeah, we get it. Christine, you do everything for us. I... Well-deserved, I might deserved.

I might add. No, I'm just, everyone really needs to go give Christina a shout out. Cause she really does. No, no, no. She does everything for us. Like she does the social media. She just made a website. I just come to the party and crack some jokes.

Um, you literally made her, you came up with the idea for the podcast. You made our logo. You're not wrong. I'm the reason we have a podcast. Exactly. Now you do the dirty work. Exactly. Without you, nothing would happen.

Okay. Okay. Okay, okay, okay. Here we go. Are you ready? I'm ready. Are you ready? I'm ready to listen.

Okay. So I feel like the last couple episodes, or the last couple stories I did were... Were fucking dark. You're right. Were like really messed up. So I decided to kind of lighten the last couple stories I did were... Were fucking dark? Right. Were, like, really messed up. So I decided to kind of lighten the mood, and I'm doing one... With a happy murder. Yes.

Well... I'm going to lighten the mood with a different kind of killing. I mean, someone always dies, right? So I guess, well, the abductions, nobody died, but they were still just as creepy. Okay, what are you going to do today? So in honor of St. Paddy's Day, which I know is over even now and we're recording and we'll definitely be way over wow blaze told me to use that as a segue thanks blaze you try it's okay well it's it's currently already like past saint patrick's day that's right like a whole week so basically if this comes on may it's only

two weeks after when when it comes out it'll be two weeks after saint patty's but so blaze actually suggested this to me um and it's actually a crazy story uh okay so i'm going to do the story of michael malloy do you know it good mike his his other names are mike the durable or iron mike nope i have not heard of this good because this guy is about to be your hero really oh i always knew my hero would be a murderer he's not a murderer oh that's the twist wait then what the this podcast is about true crime yeah he gets murdered oh okay now we're just ruining the whole point of the story. Okay. Oh, guess what, guys?

We got our first Patreon supporter. Woo! I know we just started recording and announced that we have it, but Jory... Jory. Jory. Jory? Jory? Horry.

No, that's fucked up. Emily! Don't talk to her that way i just really get like the that i'm sorry girl thank you for supporting us this is your first shout out and you're the only one she's gonna hear what i just said and be like fuck that she's like removing her donation how much how much can i ask her does that like like enough like good like something what i don't know what are you saying i'm very i'm just what are you asking her how much did she donate oh five dollars a month baby holy crap that means our blooper reel is

going out next week wow wow thank you i know she's i'm literally losing my mind over it i started yelling when i got the email so thank you jory we are so so so excited we need we need to find a way to thank them oh i thought you said we need money i was like yes oh wow we're very wealthy we're 20 somethings in los angeles we need money uh trying to make it in the arts i know with the master's degrees that we have quote the dream which we haven't paid off yet the dream slash the nightmare okay so student loans okay please tell me all about your murderer who isn't actually a murderer people this is emily's hero his name is i still don't know why his name you'll find out his name is michael malloy and okay picture this 1932 new york probably smells bad i don't know sure but

they're in a speakeasy. Oh, okay. Which is pretty cool. Right. So there are these three 20-something dudes. They're hanging out and drinking. Their names are Francis Pasqua, Daniel Kreisberg, and Tony Marino. And Tony Marino is the one who owned the speakeasy. So they were all hanging out in this bar.

And Tony Marino is telling his friends, my speakeasy is losing money. I'm going to go bankrupt. I don't know what to do. I need to find a way to make some cash. And they're drinking, and one of his friends, Francis Pasqua, notices this Irish guy who's sitting next to them named Michael Malloy, and they know him pretty well because he always comes to the bar. He's a regular, and by that, I mean, he showed up literally every morning and would end up passing out on the floor hours later

he was there he's Irish he's Irish he's a drunk he's there every single day uh without fail so no one knew really anything about him except that he's from Ireland um he had no friends or family he didn't even have a definitive birth date but he looks to be around 60 he didn't even do anything for a living um sometimes he would like sweep alleys or take out garbage for like uh you know some extra money but instead of money he was usually paid in alcohol which i don't know something you would like to fit in your wallet yes thank you i i'm glad we both went there If only paychecks came in bottles. They do. Now that Patreon is... I'm just kidding.

Please help us. SOS. This is a cry for help. Anyway. So... So his friend Francis Pasqua kind of like looked over at this guy who was there as usual. And this guy, Francis Pasqua, was an undertaker by trade. And so he looked at Michael Malloy and he was like, I have an idea.

And the thing with Michael Malloy was that he was a regular at the bar, but he never paid for anything because he didn't have a job and he didn't have any money. And so basically he was drinking on credit and he never paid his tap back so he was basically just losing money for the bar so this francis pasqua suggested that they take out a life insurance policy on michael malloy and they were like he's gonna kill himself anyway the rate he's going we might as well like cash out on it um fucked up but smart yeah exactly so it's kind of like i guess that makes sense but also like you are an entrepreneur right yeah yeah but also like a murderer like in the 30s that that deserves an mba yeah i'll give you a couple snaps for that uh so yeah an mba yeah that's right uh anyway sorry i thought you said nba like basketball and i'm like you deserve one basketball i was like that makes sense m uh anyway we've determined

i don't know anything about basketball okay so they were like so basically what he said to his friends was let's take out an insurance policy and then he said quote i could take care of the rest apparently pasco had done this before. The year before, he had befriended a homeless woman named Mabel, and he convinced her to take out a $2,000 life insurance policy with him as a beneficiary. I know. And then on a freezing cold night, he force-fed her alcohol, stripped off her clothing, doused her sheets and mattress with ice water, pushed bed beneath an open window and she died obviously oh so the medical examiner listed the cause of death as bronchial pneumonia so he collected the money because he was like oh she was my friend i was on the life insurance policy and he collected two thousand dollars so he was like oh we got this this is an

easy one yeah so they all got on board with his plan. And I mean, basically, this guy didn't know anybody. And he was an alcoholic, basically drinking himself to death. What they did was Pasquot paid an acquaintance of his to accompany him to the life insurance meetings. And they made up a person named Nicholas Mallory. So he brought his friend and his friend said, Oh, I'm Nicholas Mallory. And I want to set up a life insurance policy where this guy francis pasquale gets my money if i die so they went to three different companies and they ended up getting um a three thousand total three thousand five hundred and seventy six dollars in policies which today is fifty four thousand on this fake nicholas mellory and the plan was that once michael melloy died everyone in the bar would identify this guy as Nicholas Mallory, and then he would get the money for it. So the press ended up calling this group. It was like this group who had this plan. Like a whole group of people wanted to do this to him.

Yeah, and it kept growing. That's the crazy thing. There were three, and then they started adding people. So anyway. So mean. It's horrible. It really is.

How is this guy my hero you'll find out so so this group the press ended up calling them later the murder trust um i know like the pregnancy pact but for boys but the boy version so edward so there was okay you know how we talked about how all these old timey criminals have these ridiculous names. I love it. I know. So there was- Tell me.

Edward Tinier Smith, who actually had an artificial ear made of wax. And then I just put a bunch of question marks. Wait, is it tinier or tiny ear? They called him tin ear, even though- Oh, tin ear, because it's made of tin. No, it was made of wax. The fuck? I know, but they called him tin ear.

I don't know. You couldn't just call him wax ear? Exactly. Although that sounds kind of him Wax Ear? Exactly. Although that sounds kind of gross, like wax. A Tin Ear also sounds pretty fucking gross, Christine. And then the other one was named Tough Tony Bastone. Oh, I want to be him. He sounds like he had a West Side Story.

He sounds like he's like the bad guy in Newsies. Yeah. And then John McNally, who didn't get a nickname. Oh, well, he probably wasn't worth it no so anyway in december of 1932 they all gathered together and they were like let's start this plot tonight so the newsies guys went be a fun musical i'm gonna write it okay trademark don't steal it my idea okay so anyway so they decided to start their plot um it's december of 1932 and molloy showed up at the bar surprise surprise, surprise. And Tony Marino, who owned the bar, was like, oh, I'm going to give you just like an open-ended tab.

And obviously Michael Malloy was pumped. So they basically started feeding him all these shots. And they were like, oh, if we give him an open tab, he will drink and drink and drink. They had a quote later from a witness who said, quote, Malloy had been a hard drinker all his life. And he drank on and on. And that Marino poured so many shots that his arm was tired. Oh, fuck. Yeah, he was like, I just keep pouring shots and shots.

But somehow he was totally steady. He was fine. After I don't know how many shots, but several hours of him just taking shots. Jesus. Yeah. He dragged a sleeve across his mouth thanked the host marino for his hospitality and said he'd be back soon and he was back the next morning so far this guy sounds like your hero maybe i'm projecting i think you might be he probably is my

hero uh so he came back for three days in a row where they like just pounded him with alcohol and they were like he has to like have a limit to die eventually he has to die and i guess okay this i found a smithsonian article and they said uh molly came back for three days quote pausing only long enough to eat a complimentary sardine sandwich i'm like wow that's again he is my hero. This just sounds like one giant frat house initiation. Eat these sardines, man. He has to die eventually. Eat the sardines. Apparently on the fourth day he came in and yelled, quote, boy, ain't I got a thirst? Yeah, sir.

You just might. Maybe so. I think you're onto something, guys. That's quite a hunch so they were pissed and they were like i wrote they wanted him to die at asap so tough tony suggested they shoot him in the head sounds like tough tony classic tough tony classic tough tony uh and then they decided to come up with a more subtle way of killing him by exchanging his whiskey and gin with shots of wood alcohol, a.k.a. antifreeze. Fuck. So apparently at the time, there was a lot of tainted alcohol that had gone around.

And by 1929, more than 50,000 people in the U.S. had died from alcohol tainted with this early antifreeze. It was wood alcohol. And if you drink a drink with just four percent wood alcohol in it you would go blind holy crap instead of tainting his booze with antifreeze they gave him literal shots of antifreeze oh if he survives this i'm not gonna know what you want me to do so they went to a nearby paint shop bought several pints of wood alcohol and started they gave him a few shots of whiskey to get him like loosened up and then they started replacingints of wood alcohol, and started, they gave him a few shots of whiskey to get him, like, loosened up, and then they started replacing it with wood alcohol.

Or just weaning it into the whiskey until it's nothing but wood alcohol. Exactly. So when he was drunk enough, they just started feeding him wood alcohol. And I guess he downed several shots. He kept asking for more, displayed no physical symptoms other than those of inebriation. He sounds like the cat from it's always sunny that like was born in a gasoline puddle right just survived every type of i'm immune to any yeah exactly any form of alcohol so basically he just drank literally everything they gave him and

then asked for more and they were like enough like we've fed you all our anti-freeze then they tried turpentine then they tried horse limit then they tried horse liniment i don't know what that is i looked it up i guess it's this like powerful thing they use on horses when they have joint pain and it's supposed to like ease joint pain now they use it on people to like kill them no no it's just like a cream and you put it on to like ease muscle pain and oh oh it's like a topic that you put you right okay it's like you put it on your skin but it's from horses so it's like really strong so they just like gave him shots of that um and then finally they gave him rat poison and this this is like real okay so night after night this whole thing happened over and over again and he

was drinking shots of wood alcohol it's like he had had so much alcohol in his irish life that it was burning away any of the chemicals that could have killed him his blood was just like coursing with it like his blood was just bourbon and it was like just burning all the bacteria away um so yeah he came back night after night and then one night he came back and they were just like pounding him with with literal antifreeze and he finally crumpled to the floor so they were all just like holy shit i think we did it high fives all around good job guys so they like felt his uh neck for a pulse um they like his breath was slow and labored and they were like okay we just gotta wait out his death and then finally there was i guess a long jagged

breath and they thought it was like the death rattle and they were like he's done but then he began to snore and they were like he's sleeping and i guess they like went home and several hours later they came back and he had woken up and he Went back to drinking? He rubbed his eyes and said, quote, give me, give me some of the old regular malad. This guy's super bad. I can't do an Irish accent. Give me some of the

Malad? Malad? Malad? No. Just say it in German. Bye. Okay. So apparently he was like, give me more of that anti-freeze yeah okay so they were like pissed now because they were losing money because they're literally buying

like rat poison and anti-freeze and trying to pound him with alcohol and he's not dying maybe it's god's way of saying don't kill someone what you're doing okay so marina was like shit i'm literally gonna go bankrupt and then one of the guys was like, okay, I have an idea. Like, we know this guy really likes seafood. So the idea was to drop oysters in denatured alcohol, let them soak for several days, and then while he was drinking, feed him the oysters. So basically the guy was like, oh, anyone who does this, it will kill them. Because this guy, Pasquale, had done this before to people where he'd fed, well, which I guess this was a thing back then. He like fed them oysters soaked in denatured alcohol and it killed them.

Sure. Um, so Malloy ate each single one and washed them down with wood alcohol. This, this sounds like that one night everyone has in high school where they just somehow were just magically drinking everything in sight and made it out alive. I didn't drink in high school, but I'm sure I had those in college. I surrounded myself with a lot of people who drank a lot of things. You just witnessed it all as a third party. Yeah, but I was the sober one who was like, holy shit, am I really seeing this?

And I couldn't get like another sober opinion. Like a miraculous. Everyone else just has to trust that i'm telling them the truth about what happened you're the voice of reason they're like i really drank that i'm like i'm not kidding you drank so much wood alcohol and anti-freeze like i can't believe you're alive oh and oysters soaked in d might they just give them like paint thinner or something i mean they basically did they literally drano yeah no bleach anti-freeze it's like fuck i don't even know it will literally four percent of that in a glass of wine would make you go blind

like you're done for and they were giving him shots of it like for days and rat poison shots i mean he was not dying basically he drank or he ate all these oysters um soaked in denatured alcohol and then washed them down with uh antifreeze and they were pissed so they after okay this is literally what happened they're playing pinochle which is i guess what they played back then it's like a card game or something right yeah um and i couldn't ask anyone though anymore because anyone who ever played that game is dead now yeah they're all it's like if you remember playing with a hoop and a stick you're probably dead your name is tough tony and you uh had a hoop and stick as your entertainment god anyway um so they were playing pinochle and waiting and at the end when

he after he ate all the oysters he just licked his fingers and belched and then went home and they were like god like this guy will not die so at this point they had so many people on board that the amount of money it was only 54 000 in today's dollars so the amount of people they had they were like it's not even worth like murdering this guy for the money but they had such like a pride thing about it and they were like he has to go which is so like at this point you have been given so many opportunities to walk away from something so morally wrong exactly if i ever thought about murdering someone and then had a second chance to not do it and i could be like oh i'm glad i like got out of that before it got really bad i'm like thank god the universe like stepped in and gave me

a sign and they were like no the universe has given them like 10 days of signs so far it's not even the money that they're in for they were just like this this guy's gotta go one of the guys named murphy decided to let a tin of sardines rot for several days then he mixed in some shrapnel like pieces of metal sharp pieces of metal slathered the concoction between pieces of bread and served michael malloy the sandwich they thought he would eat the sandwich the metal would tear through his organs and kill him right he asked for the sandwich, the metal would tear through his organs and kill him. Right. He asked for the sandwich and asked if they had any more sandwiches.

Now he's becoming my hero. I know, I told you. Just put anything on bread and I'll eat it. I told you. So then Marino, or no, I'm sorry. Marino recalled Pasqua, the Undertaker's success with that Mabel, the homeless woman, and was like, oh my God, why don't we freeze him to death? So what they did was that night, it was a negative 14 degree low that night in New York City, Fahrenheit. They decided to ice Malloy down and leave him outside overnight. So they tossed him in the back of their car,

drove to a nearby park, lugged him through heaps of snow, dropped him on a park bench, took off his clothes and dumped bottles of water on his chest and head. Then Marino went back to his bar the next morning, opened up and found Malloy in the basement, half frozen. He had trekked the half mile back to the bar and somehow persuaded one of the

guys to let him inside he when he finally woke up he complained of a quote we chill i don't know why this guy's like this did you ever see that it was i think it's from american horror story but there's a gif of emma roberts in a red dress and she turns around she's like i bet you thought you'd seen the last of me that is him yeah every day she's like reincarnate of michael muller right so anyway okay so that was december now we're nearing february so two months later he's been doing this every day every single day they've depleted all of their finances probably in alcohol alcohol wood alcohol rat poison so in february another insurance payment was due because they're still paying the premiums on this insurance because they thought he'd be dead already. And John McNally decided, let's run him over with a car. Good.

I would at this point. Yeah, like why not? He'll probably live. I would just start placing bets and doing ridiculous, horrible things to him and just see which one gets him. That would have been like the NBA version. Think of the money they could have made on people just like betting on watching this man not die. They probably could have become millionaires. So what happened?

So John McNally goes, let's run him over with a car. They had a friend named Harry Green who was a cab driver. And he's like, okay, I'll run him over if you give me $150. Okay. Okay. Harry sounds like a cheapskate yeah he sounds like a real winner so they all got into the cab with maloy on their laps drunk like drunk out of his mind obviously and then they drove a few blocks away stopped they dragged him out of the car put him in the road and started they just like drove at him and i guess two times he leapt out of the way the car hammered out of his mind uh on the third attempt they decided to drive toward him at 50 miles per hour and hit him dead on fuck yeah so

they hit him then i guess they said they heard two th like, of when he hit the car and then rolled up the top. Right. Then he was in the road, so they backed over him. Uh-huh. For good measure. There was a car coming toward them, so they, like, left the scene, and they were like, we gotta get out of here. So they left, and they were like, thank God, we finally did it. Right.

So Joseph Murphy, who was the guy who said, like, uh nicholas melleri's brother the fake guy that they invented who was gonna call and be like oh no my brother's dead right uh he called every morgan hospital in the area attempting to locate his missing quote-unquote sibling uh nobody no hospitals no morgues had any information about like a fatal accident or uh you know an unidentified person and they were like that's weird five days later uh francis pasqua decided to find another drunk to kill good and play off as uh this guy but right before they were able to like pull that plan off uh michael malloy, uh, limped into the. Oh my God. Looking only slightly worse than usual.

He, he's the drunk Superman. Really? He'd been in the hospital for several weeks with broken bones. He had broken many bones in his body. I think he was there for three weeks and then probably felt none of the pain. He said he woke up and just wanted to go back to the bar. So he woke up and just basically like wandered back to the bar and was like,

Hey, I'm back. And they were like, what the fuck? They were his. Actually, they said his greeting when he walked in the bar was, I sure am dying for a drink.

Oh my God. Um, okay. How did he die one day? Alright. Let's, like, take a chill pill. Oh, do you have the answer? Well, if you're gonna ask me the question...

You might as well be prepared, right? Sorry. Alright. So he said, I sure am dying for a drink. And they said, he told this story to everybody in the bar. He said, he recalled the taste of whiskey, the cold slap of night air the glare of rushing lights then blackness and next thing he knew he woke up in a warm bed at

fordham hospital what the fuck and he only wanted to get back to the bar and they were like god damn it this guy won't die so on february 21st so this this is seven months after they had first convened and decided to kill him, Michael Malloy finally died. How? In a tenement near 186th Street, less than a mile from the speakeasy. What they did, they were so desperate, they ran a rubber tube from a gaslight fixture to his mouth, desperate they ran a rubber tube from a gaslight fixture to his mouth wrapped towels around it what tightly around his face and just literally pumped gas and within the hour he was dead like gasoline just total gas like from gas from a gas light so like shit yeah so they just pumped

gas into his body oh my through even at that point i think god was like let's find out how he dies like like even i don't know anymore this game has to end um so they had a friend named dr frank manzella uh-huh who filed a phony death certificate uh citing lobar pneumonia as the cause of his death so they were like oh okay finally he's dead we'll at least get our money right so they only received 800 because the insurance companies were like well we need to see the body what's going on so one company gave them 800 murphy and marino each spent their share on a new suit wow i hope it was worth it that was must have been uh so then pasco went to prudential and he was was like, I'd like to collect my money.

My mom works for Prudential. Hey, Lena. Way to crack the case, guys. Shout out. So he arrived at Prudential and was like, I'd like to have the money for the policy. And the agent was like, well, when can I see the body? And he said, oh, we've already buried him. And the agent was like, well, when can I see the body?

And he said, oh, we've already buried him. And somehow they reported this to the police because they were like, something is sketchy about this. And while they were investigating, the whole town, obviously, like you said earlier, was spreading rumors about this guy who wouldn't die. And people had heard about it because they had involved so many people. And so everyone was like, Oh, have you heard about this guy who won't die? And they've frozen him in the cold and they fed him antifreeze. Like he's a miracle. Uh, so the police were like,

we got to check this out. So what they did was they, um, heard about Mike, the durable, which is what they called him. Uh, and they had the body exhumed and forensically examined.

And they found out that he had indeed been murdered. And then four of the men, so the original four who were part of this gang, were tried and convicted of first-degree murder. And one reporter wrote, perhaps the grinning ghost of Mike Malloy was present in the Bronx County Courthouse. And they were convicted of first-degree murder and were sent to the electric chair. Shit. At Sing Sing. And then the article that I read from Smithsonian, I can't take credit for this, but they wrote, they were sent to the electric chair at Sing Sing, which killed them all on the very first try.

Good. At least something killed someone on the first try. So poignant. That's a great story. Crazy, right? Yeah. I don't know why more people don't know about him. I know.

And it's all documented. And it's like, what the fuck? He had to have had like pica or something where like you just. Yeah. Like your body just like doesn't. Yeah. React. Okay.

And then finally they were like, we'll pump literal fumes into your system from a gas lamp. Mob mentality is a real thing. Yeah. Money is a fucking dangerous thing too. So that's the story of Mike Malloy. Wow. Happy St. Patty's Day two weeks late. Yep. Thank you all for your support. Thank you for checking out our website and our patreon we are so happy that you guys are on board

with us and we can't wait to share our next stories with you what else oh the next listeners episode will be may 1st yeah april 1st may 1st may 1st may 1st sorry i'm yeah it's april now and uh that's why saint patrick say this was a little overdue for a story i don't know do you know what time it is in the world no all right may 1st will be our next listeners episode thank you to everyone who wrote in stories for the april episode um please email your stories to us at and that's why we drink at gmail.com please go look at our website because christine tried very hard because i need some validation thanks please go tweet christine that she did a good job thanks guys and i guess that's it for this one. Yeah. Yeah.

One day we'll learn how to end these. Yeah. All right. It's not today. Okay. And that's why we drink. See you later.