And That's Why We Drink - E96 A Garden in the Rear and a Rejection from ISIS

Episode Date: December 2, 2018

This week, #ChristineGetsBelized so we've decided to release a live episode. In our first stop on our East Coast tour, Em covers DC's Octagon House and Christine covers Virginia's Selfie Killer. And that's why we drink! Please support the companies that support us! Visit prettylitter.com and use promo code DRINK for 20% off your first order. To get your FREE 11x14 Canvas People canvas text WWD to 484848. Go to fabfitfun.com and use promo code DRINK for $10 off your first box.

Christmas time is here. See, I'm home alone now. I miss it here, so I can sing all I want. Hey everybody, it's Christine. I'm currently in a pool and or taking portrait mode pics of some jaguars. I'm in Belize on my honeymoon with Blaze, aka Christine gets Belized or Blaze gets Belized. That's kind of fun. And for that reason, Em and I have decided to release a live episode today from our first DC show, which was a super duper blast and was the first show in our east coast tour so thank you guys for everybody who came out we picked a really fun one for you guys today um m covers the octagon house and i cover the selfie killer so you guys probably want to tune in and don't want to miss this one we have a lot of fun only a little bit of wine is spilled and you can find all the and

that's why we draw pics on instagram and if they're not there blame eminiva not me because again jaguars love you guys talk soon we will be back next week and we can't wait to sing more at you goodbye ladies gentlemen and everyone in between welcome welcome to the DC Improv. Now, are you ready for the and that's why we drink show to get started. So let's crack into the deep booth. Sorry. I feel like a kid that's about to give a presentation that he has no idea about. We just flew in from Los Angeles. And boy, are my arms tired.

Fun fact, he was a wanton. Listen, English is my first language. Is Tamra home? Whoops. Sassy with me. Sassy the clown. The clown is shy. Ooh, fight. Sweet, sweet, sweet. Finish your drink. And stop. Why? Hello DC!

How is everyone? Whoa! How is everyone? That was the first time we got to use our new intro song and I got too excited. I was like, wait, got too excited i was like wait wait and i was like no i'm going and i ran on she was like should we go so we can dance to pony and i was like no too late i wanted to have fun anyone hello everyone and thank you for joining me in almost my hometown yeah um i already see something happening that i'm just going to address right now.

My mother is here. This is her first show. Yeah. And she is going to try to become part of the show. She has a lot of feelings about it. So instead, before she starts shouting and heckling her own child, I'm going to give you five long seconds to just do whatever you want, Mom. Come on, Mama Linda.

Take it away. That was a full Charlie Brown. She had five seconds and only used one. I think she's trying to save them for later. Wow. That was beautiful, though. Hang on, this is a little tall. You talk.

Oh, okay. I thought you'd never ask. I used to live here, too, for four years in D.C. Yay. I don't know. That's not very exciting, I guess. Well, it's interesting that you just seem to follow me wherever I go. You were in D.C.

I was. And then Boston. I was. Now L.A. It was. It was just meant to be. I was. Now L.A. It was. It was just meant to be, whether or not we wanted it to be. So,

I think I, we should also recognize that today is Gia's birthday. It's a very special day. It's a holiday. I was going to say it's a holiday, but I guess, yeah. A howl-a-day.

It's a howl-a-day. So, Get it? Baby Babu. Sweet Bab Get it? Baby Babu. Sweet Babu. Sweet Baby Babu. Of legal drinking age today. He is three,

aka 21 in human years. Yes. He and his mama are now... Wine buddies. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. I only cried twice about it. His ears are ringing somewhere.

He's actually right now at Doggy Daycare. Blaze dropped him off and I told the Doggy Daycare. Blaze dropped him off and I told the Doggy Daycare we're bringing Gio for two days and it is his birthday. And they were like, we got it. We got it covered. So I'm following their Instagram. I'm very excited.

But I want him to be with his pals. So that being said, let's crack into it. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And the story is, who knows? The Octagon House featuring a biopic of Dolly Madison. Biopic. A biopic, yes.

And I tried to find something that was nearby, and I actually hadn't heard of the Octagon House, or I knew of it but didn't know actually any of the all the knockoff pentagon like you're not wrong we'll upstage you with three more sides so that being said dolly madison was actually her own story I wanted to cover and so you're actually kind of getting two stories in one tonight nice nice oh Nice. Nice. Oh, yeah. Nice. So, let's start with a nice old picture of it. Ooh, ah, thanks. Interact. Beautiful.

So, the Octagon House was built in 1800, and it cost $13,000 then, which means a quarter million dollars today. It has only six sides. So it's a hexagon. Well, apparently it was... Yeah, gasp. I was like, why? We didn't put geometry on the list.

Did anyone recently listen to our most recent episode? It was yesterday. Where I was just... Rhombus. Just the worst at geometry. We don't know shapes. I thought it was really fitting that then I would have a story called the octagon house and really just ruin my credibility even further.

Yeah. Math is not what we're here for. It only had six sides because back then, buildings that had eight angles were octagons. Fun fact. It was originally owned by Colonel John Taylor, who was a socialite amongst the area. And when he was looking to build a winter home, his personal friend George Washington, everyone's buddy, suggested to look for a winter home in D.C. So a few famous guests that have been there have been John Quincy Adams, General Lafayette, and George Washington himself has stayed there. And it served as a temporary White House for President Madison and his wife, Dolly.

A temporary White House. During the War of 1812. Cool. During that time, President Madison actually signed the peace treaty with Great Britain in the House, which ended the War of 1812. Ooh. Wow. The ghosts show up.

Okay. I know. You gotta get educated first. So, here's a spookier picture of the same house. So, Talo's daughters are said to have died in the home after quarrels with their father over his disapproval of their love interests. Oh, my. That's not good.

Classic dad. Classic. So he and his daughters, or I guess the first one who passed away, they were on the second floor landing, and they were fighting over the girl's relationship with a British officer who was stationed in the area. And when the daughter turned in anger to storm down the hall, as you do, she fell down the stairs.

And she died. Oh, woof. Okay. Another of his daughters. He had 15 children, by the way. What? I forgot to mention that. Fun fact.

Minor fucking detail. So the second of his daughters to die in the same vein i suppose um she actually eloped without telling him first oh no to someone he didn't like and when she returned home to reconcile with him because she knew he was pissed um they got into another argument also on the top floor oh don't do that and um they were on the third floor landing and apparently she either fell or threw herself off the railing because she didn't want to be alive if she couldn't be with him oh no sorry guys sorry it's just a fact of life at this point um also christine had to sleep next to me in the same bed last night and probably heard me

coughing that was fun time all night it was good bonding so germs germs germs so after uh both of them died there's actually uh he there was also a gambler at one point because then after there always is after they moved out the house actually became like a government boarding house. And a gambler, or someone who gambled in general, just stayed there. And he was known to cheat often. And one night he got caught cheating at a poker game. Oh, no. And he got shot at the table.

Oh, no. Oh, my. He tried to get up. This is where it gets kind of rough. Oh, no. He tried to get up by holding onto the bell gets kind of rough. Oh, no. He tried to get up by holding onto the bell rope nearby. Oh, no, no, no. And he kept falling, so he kept grabbing the rope so the bells kept ringing.

Oh, no. He's really alerting everyone. It's like a cartoon. Yeah. Yeah. And so, oh, and then he died, so. M knows a good punchline yikes and uh so then uh so the two dollars fell down the stairs and then he got the gambler got shot and then a servant girl also jumped to her death or was also thrown to her death this seems to be a trend in the house

um because this is really sad. She was being forced into sexual demands of a British officer. And then she was like, fuck that, and just jumped. And it wasn't good either way. So in 1855, after

Mrs. Taylor died, the building became a school for girls. And surprisingly, nothing creepy happened then i was i saw that in my notes i was like oh shit i was like like a boarding school the ghouls are there yeah no nothing happened um and then it became a boarding house where the gambler stayed and in 1899 the american institute of architects restored the building and made it their institute's headquarters fun fact fun fact uh the mansion honestly probably the most fun thing i've heard Architects restored the building and made it their institute's headquarters. Fun fact. Fun fact. So fun.

Honestly, probably the most fun thing I've heard all day. So fun. The mansion is open to the public as a museum and is also a landmark. Aw. So since everyone's been so patient, here are the ghosts. It starts right away with people hearing young girls screaming in empty rooms. Oh, good. Oh, good. So baby steps. Oh, it starts right away with people hearing young girls screaming in empty rooms. Oh, good. Oh, good.

So, baby steps. Oh, it's so fun. Oh, my God. I love it. Uh, people will hear a thud, and they will see the body of a woman underneath the stairs. Nah. As if she had been thrown. Nah.

And then she stares at you. Nah. And then she vanishes away yeah that being said we're gonna move on to our first and that's why we draw so for those of you who do not know what and that's why we draw is we yeah boo boo you i didn't say it oh i. Sorry. For those of you who don't know what, and that's why we draw is, we do our notes in advance and we pick out three out of context prompts and we put them out on social media and have people draw what they think we're talking about. And it's usually really not.

It's just a good way to make people laugh during really dark conversation. It's our awkwardness to force you into humor. Right. Right. So this is, it's kind of covered here, but if you can see from the monitors, it says a ghostly fire hazard. Cool. What could that mean?

Well, this is what one person thought. Or two people, actually. So. Oh, my God. Wait, read this for everybody. One of them is a ghost seance with a bunch of candles and the sprinklers are going off and it says, ugh, Linda hung her hot pink power suit

on the sprinklers again. Linda. The other one is probably also my mother and she's in fishnets and high red heels and she is just blatantly ignoring candles. Traipsing around. And just igniting things on fire. Take your pick

it's one of those her pink power suit by the way my mom is currently wearing a red jacket with faux fur off of it so she hasn't changed

oh that's good that's really wait who are these by these are by Abigail and Aurora oh man so congratulations sometimes people are here and sometimes they're not.

Usually we know if they did because they'll scream that we picked their picture. Unless you're ashamed. I mean, that's also probably. If you meant to draw Linda and I called you out, I get it. So the reason that ghostly fire hazard was a prompt is because one of the ghost stories that people often see is that one ghost shows themselves as a lit candle moving up the staircase on its own oh um and sometimes uh the candles on the stairs will just come towards you on their own they'll just lift themselves up ignite them on their own and just float to you i imagine really fast and that's

like the scariest part it's like you don't know what's going on. Dodge it. There's a negligent ghost out there who's just putting flames in random areas. And Linda is here with us tonight. So that's the stairs that apparently

several people fell down. The staircase is the center obviously of ghostly incidents since the mid-1800s, and guests have seen people in old-fashioned clothing standing on the stairs and then disappearing. People will feel their arms being grabbed and their backs rubbed when they go up the stairs. Rubbed, by the way. I did say that. Yuck. And a long list of witnesses have heard footsteps and female voices talking to each other from upper

floors and then no one's there um doors are found wide open and lights are found on after the superintendent and employees have locked up for the night and uh once the police have actually been called or the police called the staff in the middle of the night and said hey you have to come back all of the doors are wide open oh and then the staff came the middle of the night and said, hey, you have to come back. All of the doors are wide open. Oh, no. And then the staff came back. I would have been like, no. I made it out. Literally leave me out of it.

So anyway, they came back and went down to, I guess, the breaker switch or something like that. And they heard growls inside of their heads. What? Again, you should have just stayed home. There is a carpet at the bottom of the ground or the bottom of the ground jesus oh my whoo propranolol is kicking in no um so uh there is a carpet at the bottom of the stairs this guy right here oh yeah it looks like some shag um yeah they were real trendy in the 1800s they really saw the 1970s before anyone else so um the carpet itself will flip itself upside down or if you're walking on it it will fly itself

out from under you so again why is the carpet still on the ground why don't you just pick it up yeah that makes it yours and put it somewhere um apparently uh one manager has gone up to a room with a dusty floor and then found women's footprints walking through the dust. And then they heard a thud, and then it was a dead end of a wall. It's like the thud of them walking into the wall. Just not a graceful ghost. That's my ghost someday. Oops.

The chandeliers will swing wildly on their own. Good. Psychics say that two presences are tied to the original builder. So they're somehow related to Colonel John Talo. Okay. And so they think it's probably the daughters who fell off the railings and landed on the floor. And they think that Colonel Talo himself is there, hence the heavy boot-wearing footsteps. Okay.

All right, all right. All right, all right, all right. Hang on, hang on. Okay. Oh, this looks fancy. It looks about the same. It's all black and white. Yeah.

Looks dusty. True. So ghosts of slaves are said to also haunt the homes. Oh, my. Oh, my. Why wouldn't they they the sounds of bells ringing has also been linked from the guy from the guy pulling on the bells I was listening

for once thank you they also will ring at the same hours so they think that the bells are actually used by several different ghosts they think it's by the guy that was gambling and they also think it was from the slaves because the bells will now ring at the hours that the slaves used to get called i guess they used to ring the bells for them to come in a certain time and the

bells will ring then um the bells are also um uh they will ring on their own even when they aren't moving and there is a story of someone trying to hold the rope so that the bells will stop ringing, and the ringing continued even when the bells... Ew! That has actually been a reported occurrence since the 1870s. Whoa. So it's one of the oldest frequently...

Like, frequent experiences. That's just freaking annoying. They're just always ringing. That's seriously irritating. For like a hundred years. Yeah, truly. 150 years. And so apparitions have also been seen and felt in many places,

including on the spiral staircase, the second floor landing, the third floor landing, the fourth floor landing. Didn't know it was a fourth floor. Wow. Finding out with you guys. It's a big ass house.

And the garden area in the rear. Okay. in the rear and so the garden in the rear and so that's what i always say i'm sorry i'm sorry i take it back i'm sorry i take it back i'm sorry m don't be mad at me i sorry. So staff have seen people walk by and disappear. Often they have followed the spirits because they see someone walking by and it's like, oh, we're closing up. Someone shouldn't be here. So they follow the people thinking that they're lost. And then they lose them around a corner where a dead end meets them at the hallway.

So someone walked through the walls. Oh, ew. Sans thud, apparently. I was going to say. Wait. so that one person can't walk? Yeah. I mean, that's me, I guess. I mean, I guess some are less coordinated ghosts. That would be me, for sure.

A British shoulder, Lord. A British soldier has also been seen walking through the hallways, looking out of the window, or staring at you in the doorway. Cute. through the hallways, looking out of the window, or staring at you in the doorway. Cute. The ghost of the gambler is seen lying down on the ground shot with a bloody shirt and mouthing for help.

Oh, no. Oh, hello. And other people have seen a man lying in bed in the same room that the gambler actually lived in. And they're like, oh, maybe he's sleeping. Or maybe he's, like, dead in his bed. What the fuck? Maybe he, like, chose different locations.

What? To be dead? Apparently. Well, he doesn't move when he's just lying there, so they don't really know what's going on. He's sleeping, maybe. I don't know. So they also hear a clanking of swords in the halls.

They also hear a clanking of swords in the closets, which is, like, just doesn't actually make sense at all not really um and people have smelled food cooking in the kitchen and they hear a woman humming in the kitchen people have also seen horsemen running to carriages and then the horsemen the horses and the carriages all disappearing good horse ghosts here's here's your favorite part, ready? Great, I'm ready For years, there was a knocking on the walls Sometimes frantic and sometimes very faint

During a renovation, they found the skeleton of a young girl Behind the wall And her hands were in clenched fists against the wall Em, what the fuck? Why are you saying that this is my favorite part? What is the matter with you? I just knew I'd get a reaction. Your family's here and now I look like a crazy creep.

Damn it. So apparently during the French occupancy of the house, a soldier killed a slave girl and hid her body in the walls. Once she was given a proper burial, the thumping against the walls has never happened again. So that's one down. That's good, I guess. That they figured it out? I don't know.

I don't know. I don't know. People also regularly see the spirit of Dolly Madison, James Madison's wife, because they used to live there temporarily. When it was a temporary White House. When it was a temporary White House. I remember. So speaking of Dolly Madison, I keep wanting to say Doy park i do too every time you say it i'm like

that's weird that she lived there right wrong person here is our next and that's why we draw it says 1800s feminist okay okay i'm excited to see where this goes listen ladies of course i identify as a male feminist i wouldn't sell my daughter for less than three cows. Because I value women. Because I really value women. Aww, so nice. That's so nice of him. This is nice.

Everyone should find a man like that. This is a fucking great drawing. Who drew this? This is Amy. Thank you, Amy. Is Amy here? Oh, okay. Awkward.

That's fine. We should just hire Eva to go, woohoo, yeah, it's me! Every time. Like, just in case they're not here. So... This is great. This looks like a Disney movie. As a feminist, let's talk about Dolly Madison

a little bit and how she kicked some ass. Oh, I'm ready. I'm ready! Some political ass. So, her first husband was chosen by her father, so it didn't start hot. I mean, obviously. Her husband and son died on the same day from yellow fever. Her husband and son?

And son. Oh, no, that's sad. In the 1790s, she actually had a second son who did not die of yellow fever. And in the 1790s, she fought to keep her husband's property and for the sole custody of her remaining son wow and then she married james madison so like things are looking up she's like i guess that'll do she really did like quite a turnaround wow okay um so thomas jefferson became president and appointed james madison as secretary of state and madison and his wife moved to washington aka D.C. and at the time

it was quite a swamp and trash and I didn't mean I didn't mean the trash but I meant the swamp I meant the swamp there's a lot of mosquitoes I don't know I didn't mean it

wow to be fair Christine also lived here for four years. So she does have an opinion. For so long. Wow. There's just a lot of bugs. I'm sorry. There are.

Compared to LA where there's no mosquitoes. So we are, we're lucky. No mosquitoes. I tell you what. Yeah. Everyone should just move to LA. You're making a big mistake. So.

It's not. I didn't mean it. Guys, she didn't mean it. Stop. Don't be mad at me. She didn't mean it. Everyone's mad move to LA. You're making a big mistake. It's not. I didn't mean it. Guys, she didn't mean it. Stop. Don't be mad at me. Everyone's mad at me now. So moving on from the swamp, which is apparently still DC. I mean, that part I stand by.

I will not. Allegedly. Allegedly. Dolly Madison, she did not see it like other people might have as a swamp. Okay. And she saw the future potential of the area and so she was quite the social butterfly and she reached out to every single person she knew in washington city and she established a broad base of politicians wives she befriended them like a snake she did it she did it with intent what she befriended them like a snake. She did it with intent. What? She befriended them and had them all,

she convinced them all to support her husband when he decided to run for the presidency. Okay. Oh, so that was the purpose. Yeah, she wanted her husband to be president. She was like, I'll make it happen. Nice. The newspapers at the time had a field day

and considered her scandalous for knowing so many people. Are you serious? For starting a women's club? And they called her a slut. They did not. Are you serious? In the many newspapers. Dolly, of all people?

Miss Dolly. How dare you? They called her a slut for attention. That's really fucking rude. So, oops. Yikes. Damned if you do do damned if you don't truly so uh yes and many articles that was how she was referred to for wooing men into supporting her husband apparently listen i mean i think this guy wrote the article probably i mean he definitely got rejected by her he's like over my shoulder it's making me uncomfortable

we'll change it soon. Hang in there. So Dolly also invented, because of her ability to just decide her husband was going to be president. Her ability to decide. She was just like, I'm going to make it happen. Watch. Why the fuck not manifest? Call them vision boarding. I should have made it the 1800s vision board. That's what it's fucking called.

Tell you what. have made it the 1800s vision board tell you what uh so she invented the model of the power presidential couple where the wife actually helps campaign for office nice and she was the first woman to ever be coined first lady oh snaps for dolly yeah hell yeah hell yeah yeah oh i like the power that's fun so um congress was at the time was made up of two parties, the Federalists and the Republicans. I thought you were going to say two people. I was like, aye, aye, aye. Just her and James.

Just two people were there. They showed up. Okay, sorry, two parties. So at the time, they were the Federalists and the Republicans, and they were at each other's throats while Madison was in office, and Dolly, seeing a need for these two sides to come together, decided that there needed to be a less formal area

for them to talk out their feelings. And so every Wednesday night, Dolly had the public rooms of the Executive Mansion, which was the OG name for White House. Oh. So every Wednesday, she would have the public rooms available for anyone to come in, and it was kind of an informal party.

But every Wednesday night it was popping. Sure. They became so popular that they became known as squeezers because they tried to squeeze as many people into the room as possible. Here's the last and that's why we draw. And it's called the Ice Cream Democracy. Whoa. What is that? What could this mean?

I don't know, man. Oh. Well, that's Miss could this mean? I don't know, man. Oh. Well, that's Miss Dolly. Woo-hoo. So this is by Kate. It's an ice cream cone voting, and it says, when you vote, anything is popsicle. Oh. It's precious.

Sorry. Does that say vote geo? Yes, it does. Vote geo. Green for fro-yo party i mean no matter what this election is gonna go great it seems this is so freaking vote diversity oh thank you yay okay kate knows what she's doing kate so the ice cream is kate here eva yeah was Eva. I don't really believe you. That was Eva. Was it Eva?

I think so. What a gem. I heard... Wait, it's actually Katie. I heard someone go, yeah, and I was like, are you sure? I think that was Eva.

Eva's a gem. All right. Poor Eva. Oh, we talked about Eva. We told her what to do is what we did. We didn't talk about... We talked about her too,

but we also yelled at her. So anyway, so Dolly Madison held these squeezers We told her what to do. That's what we did. We didn't talk about it. We talked about her, too. Whoops. We also yelled at her. So, anyway. So, Dolly Madison held these squeezers where people could come and talk about their issues no matter what party they were a part of. And politicians from both sides attended and were able to open a very productive dialogue for the first time. And at these parties, Dolly offered guests a food that had just become a national sensation. Ice cream!

Oh my god! So inadvertently, she created the nation's first ice cream socials. Oh my god! While also encouraging politicians to work out their differences. Oh my god, we had so many of those in sixth grade, those little ice cream parties. Dolly, was it

on a Wednesday at a squeezer in the executive mansion? I mean, it was in the chemistry lab, but like sort of. So this picture is kind of tough, but Dolly is just an angel, if you can't tell already. Yeah, love her. Love her. She is probably best known, like not enough already. She's got something else under her belt. So she's probably best known for her courage during the War of 1812.

Okay. Because as the British troops entered Washington City, she actually single-handedly saved the portrait of George Washington that hung over the White House's dining room. Whoa. She's like, this isn't going anywhere. After the British burned down the White House, a peace treaty was signed,

and there was a major push to abandon Washington and the Capitol and return back to Philadelphia and she was like listen I did not start ice cream socials for fucking nothing so she didn't want people to give up on DC

and started throwing even more parties I mean Dolly was a rager yeah you guys might be might be a swamp but you know how to throw

a good fucking party I remember I lived here once You guys might be a swamp, but you know how to throw a good fucking party. I remember. I lived here once. So she started throwing more parties, and she had recently just moved into the Octagon House. There it is. Full circle. Where were we going?

We were going there. Full circle? I thought it was an octagon. Oh. I'm sorry. I don't know why I get a microphone while you talk. Me either. We'll have to get Eva to take that away from you. Yeah, probably.

So, where were we? I got distracted with the octagon dad joke. It was a good dad joke. So, she visited every single person again in the city, and she told them to come to the parties, and she kept people staying in the city, which brought in more people. And she not only was coined the First Lady, but she was the first First Lady to adopt a charitable cause, which was a girl's orphanage for victims of the War of 1812. Oh, my gosh. It just doesn't stop with her.

She's great. She was also the first private citizen to send a message via telegram. Oh, what? Are you serious? Yep. Well, that's cool. It doesn't end. And she was awarded, get this, this is the most feminist thing I've ever fucking heard. She was awarded an

honorary seat in Congress, and she is still the only private citizen to receive this privilege, which allowed her to watch congressional debates on the floor. Whoa. What a baller. When she returned to Washington, she was considered a founder

just like Washington, Jefferson, and Madison. Damn. Yeah, so everyone should aspire to be Dali. I fucking love her. Back to the ghosts, because I know we were like, what is this, a history lesson? A weird, awkward history lesson that's obviously she is very attached to the octagon house with all of her like keggers apparently yeah and she uh sorry i make myself laugh sometimes

and her spirit has been seen all over the place over the last several decades she's been seen near the fireplace and the main ballroom she has been seen spotted over the place over the last several decades. She's been seen near the fireplace and the main ballroom. She has been seen spotted walking through a closed door heading to the back garden. Her presence has been seen. You see her after you smell lilacs and lavender, which is apparently like her go-to scent. Okay, all right. It's a little potpourri. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And she's also been nice to children and waves at them when they come to visit. Oh, that's sweet. And others have heard her laughing. Aw. I don't know how we feel about that. That's a little in between. Yeah, I don't know if it's like a polite laugh or... Like a cackle, right?

People see her pacing the hallways and they hear glasses clinking. She's still partying guys so she's also seen in the white house and she has been seen in the rose garden where woodrow wilson's wife tried to remove the garden and dolly um was like no fuck off she's like i've done enough for this country yeah next and so she next she showed up as the workmen were about to pull out all of the roses. And they still won't say what she did, but they left the roses there and they're still there. Whoa. And no one's tried since.

Holy shit. So she also, after she returned to Washington, she moved into her own home after James had died. And it's now called the Cutts Madison House or the Dolly Madison House. And her spirit has also been seen there rocking in her rocking chair on the porch and smiling. Aw, what a babe. And that's the story of the Octagon House featuring Dolly Madison.

That was really good. Okay, this is the intermission. Hold on. I was going to say, that looks empty. What's everyone drinking? I'm drinking a milkshake, obviously, from Shake Shack. Chocolate, duh. What are you drinking, Christine? Red.

Red. Wine. How about this? Christine, what were you and Deirdre drinking with my mom until 4am last night? A whole lot of red. Wine. It was... Speaking of Dolly Madison having ragers, Linda was out to fight her for the title last night. My mom, oh, I wish I put the picture in. My mom was wearing a black onesie with an LED stick figure showing up on her body, so she looked like an LED stick figure.

She just showed up in the kitchen. And she went to bed when all of her teeth were purple. Mom? No. Look at the power now. No. The tables have fucking turned, my friends. You want the attention, I'll give it to your mom.

That being said, she's all in the back. Linda, you look beautiful and I love the onesie. Thank you for trying to save me. You're welcome. Swamp face. What the fuck did I do? All right, hold on. I have an axe to grind. I don't know.

What is happening? I don't know. The shake is getting to me. I think it spiked. Anyway, here's Christine's story because I don't know what it's called. Oh, this is yours. Oh, thanks. Hello. Welcome. I pressed the button. Oh, thanks. We're gonna have a talk later.

That's fine. That's fine. It's fine. Hey, guys. Hi. Hello. Oh, you guys are all so cute. Okay. Oh, thank you. Oh, my God. I thought you'd never say that. Thank you. Okay. We're here today to discuss my story. Welcome to my TED Talk. I'm very excited. Christine was saying I was really going to like this one. Well, now you're putting all the pressure on me. Oh, never mind. She said I was going to hate it.

Yeah. This is the story. Okay. To be fair, this takes place outside of dc in montgomery county virginia sorry it's kind of far out of dc somebody say woo right now oh my god oh my god thank you okay i was like well i think it's sort of dc it's like nearby i don't know what to do no Montgomery County Virginia

it's in Virginia it's in Virginia I'm proud I'm excited let's go sorry okay I wanted to do something for my ex

this is what happens when we record in a studio no one's like it's too far away then we just get the we just get the emails and Eva just doesn't tell us

they come okay sorry this is the story of Amanda Taylor, the selfie killer. Oh, that sounds way good. Right? Right now you want to hear it, huh, everybody? Sorry. Wait, can I banter real quick?

Go for it. I'm just forcing it upon you. No, go, go, please. Christine's father-daughter dance. I had a feeling this is where this was going to go. All right, go for it. Yeah. Christine's father-daughter dance. I had a feeling this is where this was going to go. All right, go for it. Yeah. Christine's father-daughter dance at her wedding was Let Me Take a Selfie.

And the only reason they picked that song was because somehow it ended up on both of their final ten lists. Okay, it's my dad's favorite song, and he's from Germany, and he only listens to Leonard Cohen or Let Me Take a Selfie. And so as a joke, we were like, let's send each other five songs that could be a potential for the father-daughter dance. And we both sent each other a list. His had like Macy Gray and like all Leonard Cohen. And I was like, mm-hmm. And then the fifth one was Let Me Take a Selfie.

And then mine was all a bunch of songs and then Let Me Take a Selfie. And we were like, well, I guess that's a sign from the fucking universe. And so we did kind of like, I made like a little mashup where it was like, my girl, and then it like fucking like record scratched into let me take a selfie. We had a great time. It was really good.

We had a great time. And Christine memorized every word of that song too. And it really, really went. And Jason was at the table. I kept on seeing him look at me when he was with that other girl. Yeah, it was really fun. It was amazing. But first, let me take a selfie.

So we had a great time anyway, so. Carry on, sorry. I made a steal your thunder. I did. So anyway, this is the story of the selfie killer. We're back in 2014. Amanda Taylor, way back when. Yes, way back when.

Woo, I was still in college you were in college oh we were in grad school I graduated in 2014 graduated college in 2014 oh god you're so young okay pretty sure

this is the stuff we delete Eva edit that out and people are like no we want to hear it and I'm like you don't fucking want to hear it it's not interesting it's just kind of rude and we just yell at each other yeah okay anyway thank you well you just did so i hope it was worth it okay we're back in 2014 amanda taylor 26 year old uh she's married to a man named rex taylor and they have two young children and both of them have a fascination with serial killers interesting i already like it yeah um i'm gonna send you a send i'm not gonna send you anything i show you a picture

oh there she is this is selfie serial killer or not serial killer selfie killer selfie killer yeah okay so uh this is her and rex they had a fascination i don't know if you can see it. They took a lot of photos where it was like pretending like she was murdering him. It's like very dark. Yeah, yeah. So they had this fascination with serial killers. And I watched this episode of like Dateline with a guy. What is funny about that?

No, ready. Are you ready? This guy goes, the friend of theirs goes, they like serial killers. I guess for some people it's a hobby. And then he like shudders and I'm like, oh yeah. For some people, for some people it's a career. Super. Yeah.

I was like, oh, this makes me feel bad. You should probably just like superimpose our faces there. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, haha, Patreon, you get these fun little postcards. Anyway. Yeah. faces there yeah like haha patreon you get these fun little postcards uh anyway yeah so basically but they were they were more extreme than us i can tell you that they would exchange letters with notorious convicted killers in jail and they would and the like the killers would write back a lot of the time and so there was this one killer and rapist named paul runge who would was rex's pen pal and they would like write back and forth constantly and they would like and then so rex actually changed his name from rex taylor to

rex runge to like take the guy's last name so were they gay no he just was like so infatuated with this guy like he just wanted to be him like he looked up to him so much that he was kind of like this is the guy i want to be yeah it was bad like they really really were infatuated with the idea of being a killer or a serial killer um so unfortunately rex himself had an opioid addiction and after a long struggle struggle he took his own life and devastated amanda blamed rex's father charlie for his death um because allegedly his father charlie was supplying him with the drugs so she was like well if he hadn't done that like rex would still be here um so soon after rex's death amanda became close with a friend named sean ball and although they

weren't romantic together it was kind of uh rumored that he was really infatuated with her and was just trying to impress her and she kind of realized that and was like, okay, I'm going to use this to my advantage basically. Got it. Yeah. So, um, to impress her,

uh, this new guy, Sean was like, well, little did you know, I'm a murderer. And she's like, cool.

Not a red flag. Yeah. Oh no. She's like, I had five non-negotiables. That wasn't one of them. So instead she's like, cool. And she's like, not a red flag. Yeah. Oh, no. She's like. I had five non-negotiables. That wasn't one of them. Instead, she's like, great. That makes me like you so much more.

Bad boy. Bad boy. So he claimed to be an ex-Special Forces Navy man. And he lied about having been involved in combat. He was like, I used to kill in combat. It's the best feeling in the world. He had never been in combat. He just like made all of this shit up and in reality he was like very shy very like introverted had no combat train oh yeah sort of maybe we're trying to find sympathy

where we get back to me in like 10 minutes so the guy is like uh has no combat training but he's like yeah i murdered so many people in the war she She's like, yeah, yeah, I'm into it. So they start hanging out, right? So my first, and that's why we draw, is called Made Up Murder. There it is, Made Up Murder. You can't really even see it. Okay, who is this by? Hold on.

Oh, shit, sorry. Something's happening. So this is by Jack. You can barely see it, and it was made on a post-it. So sorry, but I just love it. says it says kids i killed your dad and then the guy comes out and goes i'm right here megan it's a made-up murder because only a megan would make up a murder classic megan classic megan i just thought that was goofy. I also didn't get many submissions, so I was like, well, this one's fun. Well, Megan got mentioned, so.

It'll work. Hang on one second. I stare at him like, entertain them. He's like, do something. Do something. So, thank you, Jack. So anyway, Sean is trying to impress Amanda he's like

I want to be with you and she's like I mean I just like that you're a murderer so the two of them formulate a plan because she's still like devastated by the death

of her husband Rex so they get some firearms from Sean's relative's house buy ammunition magazines get just a shit ton of weapons get in the car

one afternoon in April of 2015 Amanda and Sean drive to house, buy ammunition, magazines, get just a shit ton of weapons, get in the car. One afternoon in April of 2015, Amanda and Sean drive to Aronto, Virginia? No. Okay. Nobody's wooing. What was it called? Thank you. Aronto? I-R-O-N-T-O? I don't know. Like Toronto? Without a T?

Sure. I don't... No, I think it's a very small town so they drive there and they stop at Amanda's father-in-law Charlie's house the one that she blamed

for Rex's murder and they get there intentionally so they wait in the car and at 3.27pm because March 27th was Amanda and Rex's shared birthday

yuck so 3.27 they sit in the car until 3.27 that's super intentional oh yeah it's crazy so they get they get out of the car 327 uh enter the house and amanda starts stabbing charlie meanwhile sean has a freaking tire iron oh and she's like well he she's like stabbing him and she's like

hey help me and he just fucking grabbed no he had the tire and just smacked him right in the head whoo yeah all right well i guess he not good not good i don't know so amanda stabbed 59 year old charlie taylor 31 times yikes yes and sean hit him with a tire and he passed away so that at that point she's like great great love it this is so good um this is not enough though so she takes her phone out and she's like hold on but first let me take a selfie and they fucking she like sits there with him in the background and you can't really see it because it's really blurred out but she's fucking holding her knife taking a selfie in front of the body. I remember putting this slide in when you emailed it to me and I was like what the

fuck is going on? I was like I'll find out. That's what's up. Wow that's awful. Yeah so basically she takes a selfie with the body of her father-in-law after she stabbed him 31 times. What did she do with the picture?

Oh, well, I thought you'd never ask. Oh. Let me tell you. Okay. So she takes this goddamn selfie. Then she posted on Instagram with the caption, brunette bomber. And I'm like, what the fuck? That's not even creative.

No, it's not clever. I feel like she sat there for three days like, hmm, what should I call it? And that's the best she came up with. It's like yikes brunette bomber okay but once again she's like nah that's not enough so she contacts a crime writer named natasha and she asks her to post a selfie on her blog she's like here i just murdered someone can you post a selfie on your blog it'll get you so much traffic and the woman is like hold on hold on i have a lot of questions so this woman was interviewed and she's like yeah i was immediately sick to my stomach and called the police and like didn't tell her right right didn't tell amanda just like called the police and was like okay cool tell me more about what you did like this lady's like a she's smart she's

like just tell me what happened what you did and then is like on the side calling the police yeah so um she calls the cops doesn't tell amanda meanwhile amanda is thrilled she's like this is the best weekend activity i could have planned she and her boyfriend no not even boyfriend right she and sean who's like the wannabe boyfriend get in the car start driving from Virginia toward North Carolina. And while they're driving, she has this like revolver in her lap. And she takes a photo and posts it with a caption saying, directed at the cops. And the caption basically says, if you come looking for me, I'm going to kill someone else. And I was like, what?

That doesn't really, it's not really the way to not get caught i don't know it's like you're only drawing attention to yourself yeah she's like well if you come looking for me i'm going to kill more people so my next little in this wardrobe is the worst way to hide from the cops is by posting on instagram whoops there it is worst way to hide from the cops okay here we Here we go. Let's see what happened. Okay. So this is a photo. It says, worst way to hide from the cops.

And then this person's like, hee hee, climbing into a car. Turns out it's a cop car. And then the caption is, I went to art school. I hope you like this. We never practice drawing cars. I was like. I like that they're like, like listen I went to art school but I learned a lot of things but

cop cars that wasn't one of them not that class and I also love that this person's like he he I'll hide in here and then they're like inside a cop car I just thought that

I just loved it I just loved it and this is Emily thank you Emily is Emily here Eva what the hell yes so thank you for that we also did post these like two days ago so we were it was our bad we were kind of behind it was our bad okay so anyway they're on

the run amanda is like hell yeah i want to keep this going let's kill more people seriously and sean is like um i don't think so i think we should lay low and like hide out and you know not get caught and amanda is like no like i did it once i'm gonna do it more before anything happens so she spots two young college-age girls on the side of the road oh boy oh boy yeah yep yep yep so she decides they're her next victims she says to sean okay get like take this revolver and i'm gonna bring the two back to like lure them back to the car oh and then you're gonna take care of them so she goes talks to the girls somehow gets them back to the car i mean she's like a 20 something year old girl like she probably just found a way to be like come over here i have to

show you some i don't know i don't know what she did but she somehow brought them back to the car and sean is like no I can't do this. Right. I can't, and then, actually, the quote he said was, I can't disappoint my mom anymore. Whew. The guilt finally set in. He's like, I've disappointed her kind of a lot today.

I've done a lot of bad, bad things. 24 hours, I have not been doing great with her, so. No. So she's fucking pissed right so they fucking drive away she's like okay you guys can go to those girls so they thank god they survived but it was like they must had a weird weird day um so she starts driving and she tells sean like you fucking disappointed me. Like I thought you loved me. I thought blah, blah,

blah. And they start driving. And then she pulls over on the parkway, walks around to the passenger side of the car and says, quote, Oh yeah. I want you to know before you die that I use you for your car and your guns. And I hope you die.

And then shoots him in the face. What? I know. Oh my God. I fucking know. Sho then shoots him in the face. What? I know. Oh, my God. I fucking know. Shoots him right in the face. And then she's like, okay, bye, and gets in the car, leaves him on the side of the fucking parkway, and drives away.

Wow. Yeah, so I guess she confronted him and then shot him and then fucking just rolled him onto the... Just like kicked him onto the and then like kicked him out like deuces I'm out right is it deuces or aces I always ask deuces thank you because sometimes I'll go aces

and my brother will go that's not the thing but germ you know English you know it's fine you know you know drink hey I didn't say it okay listen English really though isn't my first, so you guys wouldn't understand. So anyway, she's like, deuces. That's the right one, right?

Deuces. Deuces. Deuces. Leaves him on the side of the road. But before she drives away, she snaps a quick pic of him. Right. Because she's like, well, I need a photo. Because she's fucking crazy. Like a portfolio pic of him. Right. Because she's like, well, I need a photo. Because she's fucking crazy.

So she takes a portfolio. Yeah. She's just like, she needs her own little memorabilia. So she takes a photo of him on the side of the road. And then she calls her friend, Natasha, the crime reporter.

Again. Yeah. Excellent. Excellent idea. And every time she calls, by the way, she doesn't know this, and every time she calls by the way she doesn't know this but every time she calls natasha immediately calls the police and it's just like i'd be like holy shit what else what's coming my way she's like tell me more information and just like is immediately relaying it to the police but like this girl the police are the police have not realized that this has happened so she called

and was like apparently she murdered someone and then she gets another call from her being like hey so i just shot my boyfriend in the face and driving down the road so natasha's like cool hold on one second dials 911 and is like let me like play this put you on speaker real quick and so she's like relaying all this information to her um is this girl like obviously she's proud she's like oh yeah no she thinks this is like what is the reason is she like is this a game to her well no like she was pissed because he wouldn't kill those girls well okay i don't know what more explanation you need i don't either i don't know what more explanation you need. I don't either. I don't know. But so she is, so she calls Natasha and she's like, I need advice. Natasha's like, ah.

I just love that it's like a crime reporter. I'm like, wait, you think the crime, okay, it doesn't, no, listen, we're not going to get into it. But so she's like, I need some advice. And so Natasha is on the phone and she's a fucking badass. And she's like, okay, stay with me on the phone. Like she's trying to get as much information as possible. And she's basically saying like, oh, so she's telling the police where exactly she is.

She's like, oh, what part of the highway are you on? Et cetera, et cetera. Telling the police meanwhile. And she's like, okay, why don't you highway are you on? Et cetera, et cetera. Telling the police, meanwhile. And she's like, okay, why don't you just stay calm and stay in the car? And then Amanda sees the police. She's like, holy shit, the police are here. And Natasha's like, no, what?

Damn, that's crazy. That's crazy. What are the odds? So Amanda's like, holy holy shit the cops are here and natasha is like okay why don't you just stay in the car and amanda goes quote i'm gonna go out shooting and natasha's like please fucking don't do that don't fucking do that and she's like don't shoot everyone it's not gonna end well for you and she literally told her she oh by the way she was recording all the calls too which is oh good girl i know she's on fucking top of it so she's like recording the call and she's like listen if

you don't cooperate with police you're not ever gonna get home so like at least try you know at this point talking her out of it so she's like cool i'm gonna stay calm. Natasha, my advisor, has told me to stay calm. And the fucking police arrest her. Thank goodness. And this is her mugshot. There it is. Nope, just kidding.

The car. Hold on. Oh, god damn. There it is. So, she's like super peppy. She's like,

this is much. She's like, oh, this is my good lighting. She's like super peppy she's like this is she's like she's like oh this is my good lighting she's like she's like my bump it is in we're good we're good to go baby i know it's just really fucked up because she just fucking shot someone in the face and murdered her father-in-law and she's like she really actually like if you look her into her eyes she's so happy she's so happy she's like finally no she looks thrilled right so she just got arrested and she is in the like interrogation room and they're asking her um like can you describe what happened and she has no qualms she's like sure yeah i'll tell you what happened i started stabbing charlie with a knife sean got me for his birthday um and the cops it was amazing because like they have the

footage of the cops interrogating her on on the show on date i think it was dateline and um she's like the cops are like okay yeah tell us more and i'm like oh my god i'm sitting here going holy shit and they're just she's like i just stabbed him in the in the chest 30 times and they're like interesting okay and i'm like what the fuck like they're so calm i guess they're like trying to get more info out of her probably you have to take a class or something in the academy to be like act cool no matter what stab someone in the face just pretend like that's just normal like pretend they told you it's tuesday it's just yeah it's wild so she's fucking like she's like yeah i just stabbed him many many times um and the cops are just like okay cool cool cool and then she said i tried really hard to stab his

chest and then she goes you know it's amazing i only got one drop of blood on me. And they were like, okay. And she goes, but don't worry. There was a bottle of Febreze in the Jeep. So I sprayed that on the stain. And I was like, first of all, what the fuck? Second of all, hold on. Use for that. I was like, it's not a tie to go.

Tie to go. That's what I wrote. I said, get you some fucking tie to go. It doesn't smell. I mean, I guess she probably... Well, she's clearly not okay. Something's different in her brain. She's like, don't worry.

And they were like, we're not really worried about your stain, but thanks for calming us down. And then she learns a fun tidbit of information and that is that sean who she shot in the face is still alive yep yeah oh my god apparently she shot him and the bullet passed through his jaw and he passed out from the pain but he did not die oh my. And so the cop says to her, you know, capital murder is punishable by life in prison

or the death penalty. And she goes, are you ready for what she said? Yeah. She goes, um, right, I'd rather just do the death penalty.

Hmm, I've weighed my options. And they were like okay why and she goes I killed people I deserve to die too that would be the best for my children where are the kids the kids

listen yes she and Rex had two kids I know that was my first bullet and I think it got lost in the shuffle but yeah at this point she has two kids that was the most jarring part of it all surprise yeah no she had two kids wow oh my god I feel like I'm at a press conference I'm like hold on so the kids okay so the kids were they were young they were like both under the age of like seven I on. So the kids, okay, so the kids were, they were young. They were like both under the age of like seven, I think.

And they were kids with Rex, the first husband who took his own life. So they had two kids and then he passed away and then she met Sean. So the kids were under her care, but like clearly she was out doing other things. Clearly she was negligent they were with her mother yes they were with her mother okay and uh spoiler alert they still are so oh okay just saying probably for the best just saying um so then um she's like right so can we get the death penalty and they're okay, this is the first time this is happening. I don't know.

I don't know what to do with this. A lot of things in this case are firsts. Yes. Yeah, a lot of weird shit's going on here. And then the trial happens, and she immediately changes her mind. She's like, no, I'm not guilty. And they're like, you literally just asked for the fucking death penalty. I don't know.

you literally just ask for the fucking death penalty i don't know and um investigators actually now believe that she pled not guilty because she wanted the case to go to trial so she could get more media attention so it was like she was like i went to death penalty and then was like just kidding i didn't do it and then like brought all the cameras and you know shit in to like uh i hear you to make it media charged. So she just basically wanted attention. So she was charged guilty of first degree murder and she was sentenced to life in prison and the judge called her evil personified.

That's what I call you. I know. Love you. That's so cute happy anniversary happy friendiversary aww love you

mean it um Sean Ball the like the guy who was super into her and like was trying to impress her

he caught a plea deal he was charged guilty of first degree murder in exchange for a 60 year sentence which would be suspended after 41 years and the guy uh so He caught a plea deal. He was charged guilty of first-degree murder in exchange for a 60-year sentence, which would be suspended after 41 years. And the guy, so, oh, by the way, I forgot to tell you. What, there's pets, too?

No. No, I forgot to tell you this fun fact. It wasn't Dateline. It was a fun fact from a show called Crime Watch Daily with Chris Hansen. My favorite. The guy from, what's that pedophile show? It's a Catch a Predator. Yeah Daily with Chris Hansen. My favorite. The guy from, what's that pedophile show? It's a Catch a Predator.

Yeah, that's the one. And then Hansen versus Predator, the spinoff. That's the one. You know, someone emailed us recently and was like, oh, did you know? She was like, oh, by the way, I was the actress who played the bait on Hansen. Predator. And we were like, what?

And she was like, yeah, I was 18, but Chris Hansen said I looked 14, so they used me as the prey, like the bait. And we were like, holy shit. And then she was like, anyway, love your show. And I was like... She was like, by the way, this is a fake name. Okay, bye.

And we were like, what the fuck? What do we do with this information? Tell it here. Announce it. it announce it in a live show yeah that was a wild time we felt really special after that anyway so this is chris hansen's like crime show that he apparently has that i watched on youtube so because i'm like i'm reading this it's like sean told Chris Hansen and I'm like that's weird where did he come from right Sean told Chris Hansen that the thing he can't emphasize enough is the remorse he has for what he did and the guilt that he lives with and he's like fucking heartbroken like he's like in real bad shape like she's having a great time and she doesn't give a shit but like he got sucked

into her like world and was like trying to impress her and like made many, many bad decisions. But he was, he's also had a mother's guilt, right? Which is a powerful thing. So Chris Hansen, um, right. So he is in prison and then uh she's also in jail obviously but um

guys listen this is just not even close to over there's so much shit these people are fucking nuts okay are you ready okay i wrote chris hansen wasn't done and i'm like why did i write that it never is that's a weird thing to write and also like I don't know Chris Hansen wasn't like doing this I don't know it's weird okay so anyway the show interviewed Amanda in prison to get a better understanding of like what was going on in her head and like why she did what she did they asked her about the murder of her father-in-law and she said he was making me nervous while she was stabbing him so you know yeah okay i think you were making him nervous yeah i think he he was a little anxious about everyone was tense yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah so she's fucking stabbing him and

she goes oh he was making me nervous um so sean took a crowbar and hit him in the back of the head and they were like okay that fits with like the description of what happened and then she compared the murder to her first time on a rollercoaster saying that all the nerves and the feeling of freedom made her so happy and it was like she was pumped up she was excited this was

like the most exhilarating moment of her life and then she's like it's so weird I tried to jump up and like hug Sean but he didn't have the same reaction to it. I wonder why. I wonder fucking why. And then they asked her, well, like why? Like you did what you did and whatever.

Why did you take a selfie? And she said, I was so happy. I was so excited. I wanted to share this moment with the world. I'm like, I don't know. It's really, really, really nice. It's really nice. And then she freaking. OK, so then they were like well what about sean like he was there with you he helped you why on earth did you shoot him um and she said she was just annoyed

and then she said i didn't want to kill him kill him i just wanted to hurt him real bad. I just wanted to one of the kill him's. Like not both of the kill him's. I didn't want to kill him, kill him. I shot him in the throat because I wanted him to stop. Literally what? And then she started complaining about the arrest.

She said they barely gave her time to put the car in parker unbuckle her seatbelt before they arrested her that's honestly it's fucking rude it's just funny it's just I'm not saying I'm mad

I'm just saying I'll remember it's just funny. I'm not saying I'm mad. I'm just saying I'll remember. It's just funny. Sorority M is out to play. Love it. Mean it. So she's like, I just shot him in the throat because I wanted him to stop. It's fine. Then, so I'm not making this up.

Don't go home and be like, wow, she made this whole story up. Because this is so wild. She decides to contact somebody. Guess who she fucking contacts next? Natasha? That's a great guess. Oh. That's a great guess.

But no, she contacts isis what yeah same difference i guess i need advice she goes from like one to a thousand immediately i have an entire bullet on this page that just says i'm not kidding because i knew everyone would be like she's making this up um how does one call isis no no no she didn't call them she facebook messaged them oh duh right right like a normal person would just facebook message them so she so she listened she had to talk to she had to talk to isis so so she did she a lot of people she actually did she did literally contact isis okay because they

investigated and they were like okay she actually literally got a hold of isis okay great what the She actually literally got a hold of Isis. Okay, great. What the fucking hell is going on? And then, this is her quote about it. They acted like I was ready to put a backpack on and go blow something up. No, not yet. Can you imagine poor Natasha when she calls back

and she's like, I called Isis. Yeah. So I need your advice. They weren't happy to hear from me. And Natasha's like, Jesus Christ. So we took a selfie together and I want you to post it on your blog. Okay. So she's not at blowing things up yet.

Yes. Not yet. Not yet. So she gets in touch with ISIS members and they, they've rejected her. they've rejected her that's truly the worst rejection when isis doesn't want you they were like no thank you wow so she so they asked like they asked amanda like why did you reach out to the ISIS and she said is that what she said it makes sense compared to everything else she said quote I had this weird obsession with it for a minute with ISIS what are you talking about like just a second just a phase so she had a weird obsession with isis for a minute

so my next and that's what we draw was um you can't really see it but it says unhealthy obsession because i was like here's the thing i originally had it as like obsession with terrorism and i was like cool i can't put that on instagram so i tried really hard to come up with like oh um uh contacting terrorists like everything had the word terrorist. Listen, we're in D.C. I can't say this word anymore. So let's move on. Fair.

Let's move on. So this is an unhealthy obsession. And this is so cute. It's from Lynn. And it says, Klink, Kirsch, Woof, listen. Baby G, you're so handsome. And that's what you drink.

And by the end, and she's supposed to do her show. And by the end, and she's listening to our show, and by the end, she's so sleepy. She has like under eye bags because we just make people, you know, tired. Well, yeah, it's nighttime,

and then she listened to us all through the night. Yeah, it's really sweet. I thought it was so sweet. That was such a specific turn. That was like a 180 from terrorism. Every single unhealthy obsession prompt was like,

I listen to your show too much, and it makes me super tired and unhappy and scared, and was like oh oh good whoops but i thought this was the cutest representation of that so that's from lynn thank you lynn um it is super cute yeah um so wait you are oh my god yay finally oh that makes me so happy by the way you sent in so many good like cause she sent one in for like every prompt

and I was like well I can't just use three from the same persons but this one was really cute they were all really fucking cute but so thank you that's so sweet oh I feel like there's a celebrity here i'm so i'm so honored i'm so honored so anyway so unhealthy obsession hers is a little darker than this one but um nothing came of it because they literally were like no we're not interested thanks anyway thanks for applying um and then she's like i listen i wasn't trying to join isis

and they were like well what were you trying to do and she's like i don't know like i was just seeing what would happen just a powwow just yeah when to get to know them but she had this like obsession with them so i was like something was going on something was going on um so amanda herself will spend the rest of her life in prison and she says quote I have absolutely no remorse at all for killing Charlie Taylor I did I did exactly what I wanted to do so after all these years she's just like all these years three and a half years listen you know you know how it is um she appealed and she lost and And she told Chris Hansen. She told Chris Hansen that she plans to bring this to the Supreme Court.

Okay, cool girl. Do that. We'll see what happens. We're super proud of you. Can you imagine? Sorry. Can you imagine if she goes to the Supreme Court to appeal her case and they bring in a character witness that's a member of ISIS? Like, yeah, we weren't interested. Like, like, she goes to the Supreme Court to appeal her case, and, like, they bring in a character witness that's, like, a member of ISIS. Like, yeah, we weren't interested.

Like, yeah, she applied. It wasn't a good fit. We looked over her resume and weren't interested. Like, what the fuck is she doing? Anyway, it's really nuts. It's really nutso. So that is the story of Amanda, the selfie killer. Thank you.

Thank you. Thank you. And I know it wasn't necessarily so wonky DC, but it was close-ish. It wasn't really. I'm sorry. I don't know. I don't know geography.

Listen, I'm not from this country. That's not true. I also have a fun little horoscope for our friend Amanda because is she a Scorpio? She was born March 27th. Okay. I was like,

that explains it. She is a, an Aries, I believe. Right. March 27th. Aries. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Cool. Yeah. She's so great. She's so fun. Uh, okay. Yeah. So I have a fun little horoscope for our yeah, yeah. Cool. Yeah, she's so great. She's so fun.

Okay, yeah, so I have a fun little horoscope for our friend Amanda. Ready? Yeah. You're usually so on top of it. But you've got a surplus of emotions right now. And they've got to go somewhere. How about a cathartic movie or a session with a punching bag?

Make sure your warrior energy is in check. Feel free to use your tremendous physical strength today. She's listening. This is rough, but be sure that it's directed and focused towards something positive useful and healthy energy sent in negative directions will definitely backfire on you yeah someone doesn't read their freaking horoscope i'll tell you what so that is amanda's horoscope but since it's our baby g's birthday today i also wrote a

little geoscope a bottle for him yeah pour one out for your homies yeah don't tell anybody that i just spilled don't tell anybody please don't worry about it oh i spilled on my shoes oh it's okay just use um febreze. You're funny. Thanks, you're funny. We should have a podcast. Let's talk about it later. So I just want to take a minute and say if we could do a quick little cheers to Baby G because this is Bartow. I'll do a little cheers.

And I miss him so very much. Cheers. Thank you guys. Cheers. I love my Baby G. And I miss him so very much. Cheers. Thank you, guys. Cheers. I love my baby G. And I miss him very much. Little baby G. God damn it. Now I spilled on my leggings. Okay.

I did one quick little geoscope. Happy birthday, Scorpio. Aww. I know. You have to aww about Scorpios. They're like the only Scorpio after my heart I love them so much

somebody wrote us a very very mean email that was like how dare you talk about me this way and we were like I was like I'm sorry

but that's like a Scorpio thing to say Em was literally like yeah tell them this is exactly why I feel this way about Scorpio she caught me on a bad day she caught me on a bad day it was bad it was rough anyway I don't listen Em was literally like, yeah, tell them this is exactly why I feel this way about Scorpio.

She caught me on a bad day. She caught me on a bad day. It was rough. Anyway, I don't listen. I just follow along with the joke. I don't know what's going on. Happy birthday, Scorpio. Who?

Scorpios? Are there Scorpios here? Oh, hell yeah. Oh, they're only on this side of the room, though. This side's like, fuck no. I feel like they're all going to like charge, like attack. Yeah, they're on your side.

I've been talking shit about Scorpios for a year now. Oh, happy birthday, Scorpios. This is for all the Scorpios. This goes out to you. Happy birthday, Scorpio. The North Node,

listen, that's not a real thing, is it? Somebody made that up. Okay. The North node puts your desire to tell stories, travel, and learn at the top of your birthday wishes.

Start your website and pack your bags because you'll be off to learn new things. Jupiter enters your income sector on Thursday. Remember? Yeah, I remember Jupiter. And I was like? Yeah, I remember. Jupiter. And I was like, I'll name my cat Jupiter because it said to Geo's scope said... Jupiter is coming into your house.

Jupiter will enter your house. And I was like, LOL, that's my cat's name. And they were like, eh, Juniper. Yeah. Close enough. Jupiter enters your income sector on Thursday, giving you the financial means to make your dreams come true all year long. Geo's going to be rich.

Woo! So sugar daddy. Sugar daddy. Aw, sugar puppy. Approach your relationship to money with optimism, intelligence, and generosity. And watch the universe work its magic. Wow. All right.

Did you guys listen to that, Scorpios? Better be on top of it just approach your money with optimism that's what i always say what is geo doing for his birthday geo's at his special special daycare with all his little friends and i told them that they better post right right right right and blaze has been snapchatting you pictures all day. Yeah, because all I text him every five hours is... Did you sing to him? How was Gio's birthday? Have you sung to him?

Tell me you gave him his treats. Yeah. The best part is when we get back, he'll have two birthdays because we'll have to celebrate again. We will, yes. That is correct. And I already have a big old bone at PetSmart

I'm looking at for him, so... I'm so excited. I know. I'm sad we're not there, but glad we're celebrating with you guys. Thank you. Thank you for being here. Thank you guys so much, DC.

I can't believe we're in DC. It's so exciting. This is our first East Coast show. Yeah, that's right. Yes! And this is actually our first sample leg of a tour because we're actually doing a show every night this week, which is a first for us. Yes.

This is number one. We're very nervous. And after this, we have holidays, but then we're officially touring all the time, it seems. So... We're never sleeping again. Thank you guys for being our

very first test show of a test leg and especially my mom got to be here and I know Yeah, Linda! There she is!

Using her last three seconds. And also, I know a lot of people I went to school with are here which like doesn't freak me out

at all. Ha ha ha. Oh my God. See, yeah, and you. But I know a lot of people I went to school with are here which like doesn't freak me out at all oh shit ha ha ha oh my god but I know a lot of you have also listened to this show and you've heard

Deirdre on the show Deirdre's here yeah Deirdre's actually in an Amy Poehler-esque all pink juicy couture sweatsuit

to look like the mom from Mean Girls the cool mom I'm a cool mom she's a cool mom and she's she's actually

been our chauffeur today so she's been very helpful. To everyone that I knew before the show, I appreciate you guys supporting me now and knowing who I am I think. I don't know who I am anymore. I can't believe I'm on a stage talking to you guys but Christine, you're

my best friend and sorry to all my best friends who came to support me today but but when I moved to LA my whole life changed and you're the biggest reason for that so far and

I'm just very grateful so thank you everyone for coming out we're so happy you're here and we love you all and I'm so thankful that I get to be here with Em and meet their family and it's just so exciting and also quick moment tomorrow is election day please vote just do it vote vote vote whoever you're gonna vote for i don't care just do it um we do have another show tomorrow is anyone coming to that one too wow oh. Oh, my mom. Wow. Oh, Linda.

Shaka. Philly. Yeah. Philly. Oh, I can't wait for Philly. But no, I just... Everyone go vote and thank you so much for coming out.

We love you all. Thank you for being here. And that's why we... Dream!