And That's Why We Drink - Listener Stories: Vol. 102

Episode Date: April 1, 2025

Happy April Fools Day! Today Eva has collected a batch of wild, spooky, and trick filled stories for us. Including a fire station ghost, an accidental haunting, a clown in a basement, and some ghostly school kids just to name a few. And will someone jump in clogs and clack their heels for us? …and that’s why we drink! For a list of resources or ways to help those affected by the fires in Los Angeles visit: bit.ly/atwwdfirehelp ! The Pour Decisions Tour is back on the road! Get your tickets today at andthatswhywedrink.com/live ! ______________________ Take the online quiz and introduce Ollie to your pet. Visit https://ollie.com/DRINK today for 60% off your first box of meals! #toknowthemistolovethem Stop putting off those doctor appointments and go to Zocdoc.com/DRINK to find and instantly book a top-rated doctor today. Right now, And That’s Why We Drink listeners can save 30% on their first order! Just head to http://cornbreadhemp.com/DRINK and use code DRINK at checkout. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Conditions apply. Details at fizz.ca. Hi, everyone. Em's Brothers in Town. No, I'm just kidding. I would get a little bit of a Hi everyone. Em's brother's in town. No, I'm just kidding. I would give him the same treat actually if he were in town.

Em and Allison are fostering a puppy or not a puppy, a dog. He's a puppy. He looks like a dog. He's a puppy. And Em's, he makes a lot of mouth sounds. So Em's been trying to troubleshoot with like frozen treats and other tchotchkes, which I've been there for sure. This is, yeah, this is not our first foster. This is our longest foster. You're saying, but it's our last.

And I was like, uh-oh. Mentally I'm there just because I, our tiny house cannot handle an energetic cattle dog puppy. It's a lot. And then Allison left town and you're like, oh, good. So I need to start a running habit or something. There was no agreement we were fostering this dog. Allison kind of very subtly gauged my interest in how cute a puppy was. And then the next morning, Allison went missing. And I had the nerve to think, aw, I had the nerve to think she must've left to like go surprise me and get me a little sweet treat or something when I wake up.

Nope. She showed up and she went, we have a visitor. And I went, what does that mean? Wait a minute. She just like went away and came back with the dog. She's very good at bringing dogs home without talking to me. What she needs to do is just say

that she found it on the side of the road. And I feel like this foster business is not the way to do it. Like she needs to, I mean, she needs to, yes, foster a dog, but then say to you, oh no, look at this poor baby. This lost dog whose family we should not search for because we found the family right here.

Yeah. Oh boy. So the dog just appeared and I was like, I don't know if I totally wanted this. I certainly didn't commit. Like the last dog we fostered was like a two week stay only. Is that the Great Dane one? That was, no, that one we were just dog sitting.

We're always either between dog sitting or dog fostering. Dog fostering was the, he was like a, he was also a gray dog Elmo yeah of course that was a good dog but and then we fostered another one for a while and then that didn't work out but yeah this this one half surprised me and it really surprised me when the dog was supposed to be gone by the time I got back from this leg of tour and and said Allison's gone and now I have to watch this dog alone for weeks. One of them went, but it was Alison, not the dog.

Wow. The one who can feed herself left. Right. The one who doesn't need to be distracted with toys to not make mouth sounds that ruin the podcast. Yeah, that's so funny. Yeah. And this, so this dog is, I mean, for me, it's early.

I'm having to wake up and do like multiple half hour long walks and like hours at the dog park just to keep him from like tearing this place apart. Yeah, I'm very fortunate that all my pets are very lazy. That's the, I kept, I mean, the only non-negotiable I had about like one day getting a dog is that it has mellow energy. It's literally the only thing. And Allison only finds the high maintenance ones.

Well, I mean, I think that's probably because those are the ones that are being fostered because people are like, that's too much. So you're probably only gonna get the ones that are, you know. And the thing is he's not super high energy. He's just high energy for us. That's it.

We're lazy. You know what I mean? Oh, high energy in relation to you. I see it, yeah. Yeah, because he has puppy energy, which will go away. And he's like not that bad, but it would be like an incredible help if he had a yard or something instead of like the, I mean, we have to just take him out

so often just to get, let him move. And I just feel bad that we've cooped him up in here. But other than that, he's a very lovely dog. I don't mind watching him except for the amount I have to move. Yeah, that part's not ideal. Other than that, he's a great dog. Wow. But we're making him eat. Right now, I fed him basically a big ice block full of fruit, so he'll leave us alone while we record. Yeah, sometimes Em does that to me too, and I'm like,

blump, blump. And you know what? You fucking love it. I love it. I'll never give it up. Welcome to our show. I was gonna say, that's why I drink. Why do you drink at the first of this month? First of all, I'm so- April Fool. I drink, you fool, because I thought-

actually, it is a fool in a good way, because I told you before we recorded, I thought we were doing a regular episode today. And I was like, oh man, we're gonna have this like four hour commitment. And then, you know, not that I wasn't so thrilled and delighted to be doing that with you, it's just that when I found out it was a listener episode

and Eva did all the work and I just have to like read it, I was like, oh hell yeah, that's awesome. Thank you Eva. Thank you Eva. So no, we're doing a listener episode, but so I had planned all these reasons to drink and that was my only downside is like, oh, well usually on the listener listener episode we don't even like say

that but I'm excited because I'm gonna tell you this because it's a one-time only this is what I'm drinking today it's an allen dudler Wow well I don't know anything about what that could mean is it a soft drink a hard drink thank you so much for asking it is a sparkling apple juice. Yeah. And it's all the rage over in my Austrian home. It's it's a very like Bavarian Austrian mountain. It's like when you go up the mountain, you know how when sometimes you go up a mountain with your whole family and you just send your Birkenstocks, you just like that's what it feels like I've been doing with this fucking dog.

So you finally get it. Yeah. It's like I go up doing with this fucking dog. Thank you. You finally get it. Yeah. It's like I go up this mountain with Hans Peton, his shoes, and he wore wooden clogs the whole way to the top of the mountain. And then at the top they were like, oh, there's this little cafe and everyone gets an adudla and it's like, oh, I feel better now. So that's kind of... Oh.

Yeah. It's just like everyone gets a little sparkling apple juice and we're like, hee-hee. And then we go down back and like, you know. I gotta be honest, that sounds delicious. It's really good. It's really good. And it says original on it. So are there other sparkling fruits that you could have?

You know what, that's a great, it does feel like this logo is from still 1925. So I'm not entirely sure if anything has changed. But the font of the word original only looks like it's from 2015. It's like Arial. Yeah, it's like out of a PowerPoint. I will say though, like I bought this at Jungle Gym,

so it is the original German, you know, can. So, and it's, whoa, and it has all sorts of fun things on here. But, you know, maybe this is like, imagine it. This may not, I'm not even saying it's an Austrian drink. I don't know where it's from, maybe Switzerland. But I just know that it's a big deal over there. Oh, here we go. Oh, oh, it's a natural alpine herb soft drink Okay, maybe I'm wrong about it being apple juice. Maybe that's something alpine and so maybe that's where my brain goes wrong Okay, so I'm wrong although

Okay, yeah, no, it's like more of just like a, okay. It's like no apples. No apples in it, nope. Oh, okay. Yeah, no apples. My bad, my bad, my bad. Thank God, oh my God. But like, it's just, to me, I'm like,

oh, it's just sparkling apple juice, because I've just, I think that's probably what my parents told me when I was a kid, to make me drink it. Oh, well, now you've been drinking like sassafras or something this whole time. No, I feel like it's probably something like that. And now I'm going to taste and go, what, what is, what was I on?

Like, who do I think I am? However, I will say sparkling apple juice is like a huge deal over there. So that like I can still rock it in Germany, it sounds like. And Austria anywhere on a mountain or not. Like, doesn't matter. Bring your clogs or don't. I I would like to do one of those things in the clogs where I jump and click my heels I would love I'm drinking a an alpine one of you to do that for someone to do that for me That would be really good. I'd really love it if we both jumped at the same time and we we clicked each other's heels. Oh

My god, I can't believe I thought this was that I mean it does kind of taste like apple juice Like if you've been convinced since childhood. Yeah, like it feels to me, I'm like, oh, it's just sparkling apple juice. And I'm like, like if you've been indoctrinated since birth. It's like perception is reality. So what does it taste like now that you've got a new awareness? I mean, it literally to me tastes like apples. So I don't know what it could be, but it says it's like an herbal. Which sounds gross, but it's pretty good.

There's a lot of sugar in it. So I'm trying to think what apples also taste like, and maybe it's one of those things. But I don't know what apples feel like they taste like their own thing. Well, what's an apple? Herb is as is apple and alpine herb. I don't think so, though. When I hear alpine, I assume it tastes like the smell of a pine tree that you get like at a Christmas candle. Oh.

It's kind of like that, but the more springy, like more spring, like a pine tree that you get like at a Christmas candle? Oh, it's kind of like that but more springy, like more springy. Like a spring tree? Yeah. Well, that'd be solve the case detective. Okay, so it's tree flavored. Got it. Indeed. I like how I could have Googled this 10 minutes ago and like ended our suffering. And actually everyone else's.

Okay, oh wait, hold on. I'm so sorry. It is from Austria. Are we both wrong? It's called Austria's most popular herbal lemonade. What, the lemons? I'm so sorry, this is getting out of control. Citrus is not what I expect when I hear herbal.

Same, question mark, I don't know. Lemonade, is it a joke? Are ostriches, is that their humor? It does sound like something Uncle Hans Pisa would say. It sounds like something Renata would say. And then laugh and we'd all go, I don't get it. Okay, so let's see. Lemon balm, sage, gentian, gentian, elderflower and cone flower.

So we were just wrong on all accounts both times. Well, I don't know. Cone flower feels. Yeah. No, yes. You're right. We're like a pine cone. I thought it was going to be a pine cone. And then I was like, that's not a pine cone, Christine. You're really baking. You're really stretching it. It's it's a flower. So

I thought maybe you were on something with your tree. Oh, wait. Speaking of which, there is a, on our last little excursion, where did we go? Portland? Seattle and Portland. Seattle and Portland. Portland, Seattle was last. There was a canned mocktail I tried and it was lovely.

And it was called Ro root elixirs. And it was, they had a strawberry lavender one, which was just like, it was pretty much like just strawberry. It tastes like strawberry puree and lavender. But there was another one that I tried. It was like a ginger beer and something herbal. Where did they sell it? I don't know. I just walked into a store and they were selling it.

But I thought like, oh, this would be really oh, is grapefruit and jalapeno was one of them. And then there was something else. But I guess they're supposed to be mixers, but you can also drink them as mocktails. Oh, I see. And so. I got to tell you, I there's the there was one that was herbal that I'm trying to remember it was, and I don't usually like herbal things, but it rocked my world,

and I put it in a pineapple juice situation. If you could try it though, I feel like I wouldn't have even tried. If I ever knew that this was made of sage and elderflower, I mean, what kind of, no wonder my mom told me it was apple juice. It makes so much sense now that she just tricked me. Here baby, have some coneflower.

Literally, I mean, honestly, she did that with a lot of other things. So probably she made me eat fucking ostrich one time. So it's like, who knows anymore. Maybe she was just trying to prevent you from being the weird kid being like, I like cone flour drinks. Yeah, you know what?

Too late. I like cone flour now guys, okay? Can I just please tell you this, the origin of the drink. The drink was invented in 1957 by Erwin Klein as a wedding gift for his wife Ingrid. Is that not the most Austrian thing you've ever heard? They just need to like sing down the hills or something. Yeah, and they are. Look at them.

The hills are alive. Beautiful. Yeah, so it's a tangy thirst quencher with alpine herbs, which is I think what I said at the start of the episode. And I'm pretty sure that's what I said, so. Do you imagine if this was an ad and it lasted 16 minutes? Honestly, yeah, I can because it feels like what we do.

So I'm sorry. Anyway, my whole point was we weren't gonna do a whole intro because I thought, oh, well, we're just doing a Lister episode And then I just forced it anyway. And I'm so sorry, everybody. It was the way of the April fool. I mean, all we did was just talk about. Oh, that's right, it's a fool. Yeah, okay. That was foolish to thank Apple for 30 years. I thought it was foolish that I was drinking Spark of the Apple. And then it turns out I wasn't even drinking that at all.

So it's like all of it's just layers of foolishness. Well, anyway, welcome to our listeners episode where we put out spooky stories at the first of every month. They are submitted by you and you can submit yours at our website and that's what we drink.com. What would you like to do? Would you want me or? How about you go first? Because I have yet to open the link. Great. Okay. So here we go. Oh, just kidding. I have four of them open. I have it open in four different tabs. Okay. Anyway, go ahead.

It's too late. I've already selected one. I'm so over myself. I'm so glad I picked this one because this is from a guy named Moosey. Oh, okay. Cute. I love Moosey. He hem pronouns. Thank you for normalizing pronouns. And the subject line is queer and called out and a fire station ghost. Queer and called out and a fire station ghost. Queer and called out and a fire station ghost.

It's like tigers and lions and bears on mine. It is oh my. Lions and tigers, yeah, okay, so here we go. Hello ghouls and fools. Fools. Wait a minute, oh, you typed in fools in the Gmail. I was gonna say. I went, what are the odds?

Oh wait. I have me a feeling we're all gonna find the word fool in each of these emails. Listening to the latest listener episode and y'all called me out so hard, listening in my car and you reminded my gay ass that I needed to take my meds, needed to eat something and needed to drink water.

So on behalf of Moosey, everybody, make sure you take your meds, eat something and drink some water today. Or some elderflower and coneflower, if that is more your speed. Sip a coneflower, whatever you need. That's what we do sometimes. Call it Apple for 30 years.

Say it publicly. Say it aloud, say it in your head, say it to your therapist, you know? Say it to your adoring fans and see what happens. I'm a firefighter and the main station that I'm at is spooky at night. Imagine giving advice to a firefighter and they're like, wow, you really called me out.

Thank you. I will never feel so butch in my life. I feel so important right now. Like, wow, I did do that. I did save a firefighter's life today. For a firefighter to listen to me, I must be like so macho. To even listen to the podcast let

alone like listen to our advice is like the wildest thing I've ever heard. Yeah what's going on Moosey? I feel like- Well I did say queer so I'm like maybe they're queer and they're like oh I'm not like other firefighters they don't like your show. I'm a cool firefighter. Yeah. Cool firefighter. I'm a firefighter and the main station I'm at is spooky at night. The veterans told me it was haunted but I thought they were just trolling the rookie until I was alone in the bay checking the doors. The other guys were sleeping in the bunk room and I heard someone walking around the upper floor.

I went upstairs and the toilets flushed. Ah! And the steel door to the office slammed shut. When I went back downstairs, it was foggy in the bay and the cords in the outlets, the cords of the outlets that charge the ambulance lights all shot out of the ambu-ly at the same time first of all I lost total track of the story when I realized you call them ambu-ly I saw your I saw M's forehead crease and I want something

bigs about to happen and it did I was like first of all am I gonna say right second of all are you playing a joke? Am I the fool? Is that a joke? Or is that really what they're called? No, it's ambulances. It's, it's just a joke. Okay, but it's fun. I mean, now I'm like, is it is it apple juice? I don't know. I was like, I can't trust me. No, don't certainly don't trust me. It's like when people follow me and go, where are we? I'm like, why would you think I know that? I don't know. The following the Ambuli, yeah.

Ambuli, the Ambuli. That's embarrassing. Okay, so let's get back on track. Okay, went upstairs, the toilet's flushed, the steel door slammed shut. Went back downstairs, it was foggy inside, yikes. But also you're in a fire station. Is it smoke?

Wait a minute, yeah. Hang on now. Don't you have tools for that? I love that the internet's like, hey, the plural of ambulances, ambulances, and here's a picture of one in case you're really confused. Like it literally gave me a drawing of an ambulance. I feel like this, this is what you're asking?

It's called an ambulance dummy. I also didn't know that you needed outlets to charge the lights. Yeah, that's pretty wild. That feels kind of like outdated technology. You know how I always say it's 2025, why is nothing, why is anything corded? Why do we have cords on anything?

It drives me crazy. It's 2025, don't we have better technology for our ambulance eye at least? At the very least, I always assumed there was like a brick battery in there and you just switch out the batteries after like six months or something. I never thought, oh, let me plug in just the lights.

And if you forget, then like nobody sees the ambulance. Well, not if you forget if a ghost fucking unplugged them. Oh, right. Like that feels dangerous. Yeah. OK, that's where we are. So he said that the the the cords all shot out at the same time. So they got yanked out, I think. Yeah. I quickly plugged them back in and nope, back to the bunk room,

but I did not sleep that night. Of course you didn't. I wouldn't. No. In the morning, I got a cup of coffee and my captain commented on how tired I looked. And when I told him what happened, he said, oh yeah, you met Richard.

Richard? You little bastard. And he walked away with no further explanation. Dick was a career firefighter. Oh, I like how we're now calling him. I love it. I love it. Which he was kind of being a dick. He was like, no one needs to see the ambulance coming. Wait, you're so right. Dick was a career firefighter who after he retired still volunteered and died of a heart attack at the age of 75 in the station. He likes to prank the new rookies that come in and make them work hard to pay their dues. Sounds like an old tradition kind of guy. Snickety, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

We have a few other spirits from folks that passed away in ambulances. Oh, not ambulite? Oh, wait, wait, yeah, commit to the bit at least. But wait, hang on, I just realized, maybe in the olden days, you had to hand crank the lights. And now Dick is like,

Oh, technology. Plug them in, are you kidding me? Hand crank them like I used to do back in the old days. That's a great point. Yeah, he's like, what are lights? I have never seen those before. What's a light bulb? It's like, we used to just kind of feel around.

Yeah, we used to just run there. Why do you need this big car? Okay. We didn't even have an ambulance. I walked uphill both ways and pulled the fire out with my spit. I love Dick. He would fuck. He would piss me off. So he would, he would have a good time making me do like manual labor or like unplugging, plugging stuff back in. I just, oh boy. He seems like the kind of guy who would tell you for 30 years that a drink is apple flavored

when it's warm in. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, and then just love the look on my face, yeah. We have a few other spirits from folks that passed away in ambulances and other walk-ins, but good old Dick is the only one that regularly shows up. I'm the only gay out firefighter in my county. Okay, rock on.

Hell yeah, I knew you were the cool one. But the guys are all really chill about it and surprisingly there's a huge emphasis on mental health here. It's you were the cool one. But the guys are all really chill about it. And surprisingly, there's a huge emphasis on mental health here. It's cool to see these veteran macho men discuss the importance of working through the trauma and stress of some of these calls that we have. Wow.

Yeah, they know better than anyone probably, you know, deep down. That's awesome. Thanks for being advocates for mental health and a safe space for so many of us. Misfit toys. Oh, from Moosey. Hi, Moosey.

I feel like Moosey is Hi, Moosey. I feel like Moosey is the name that you got like you earned at the station. Yeah, after you plugged in all those ambulance lights. Maybe you're like the final test like final boss is like you have to deal with Richard for a night by yourself. They're like, yeah, yeah, stay in the house overnight. We'll flush the toilet a few times. And you'll get a bad night of

sleep. But other than that, you know, it's not too bad. No, no. Wow, that's awesome. And other than that, it's not too bad. No, no, no. Wow, that's awesome. And I'm again, just totally flattered by the idea of a firefighter listening to our show. Totally. There's probably a few out there who are like,

what about me? You too. The fact that you listen to it also is mind boggling to me. Anyone doing a macho job, I'm just like. Yeah, yeah. Anything that feels like you're saving lives or not feels like, anything where you're literally

saving people's lives, which I guess is macho. I don't know. I feel like it's kind of like the feminism just flooding out of our bodies, leaving us. No, but I feel that same way if a fucking college professor listened, I'd be like, I don't feel qualified for that. Or even if, so to me, it's not even necessarily macho. This one feels like, oh, listened, I'd be like, I don't feel qualified for that. Or like even if, like, so to me it's not even necessarily much, this one feels like, oh, wow,

I totally didn't expect that. But even when people are like, oh, I'm like a neurosurgeon, not that anyone has ever said that about listening to our podcast, but I'd be like, oh, I'm certainly not in that echelon, you know, even gender aside, it's like, that feels like not my pay grade. Like you're way smarter than me. I have run into, I'll tell you, this one blew my mind.

I have run into a doctor or a surgeon who has, um, who is our show and said that they listen to us while they operate on people. I was like, leave lasting scars on those patients. I got to be honest. I was like, sound like you sound like you don't laugh to our show, because if you did, you wouldn't have a steady hand. We should never say something funny again, just in case. That would be really bad.

Also imagine like waking up out of surgery and you like hear, like subconsciously you're like, why do I hate those two people? That's what, maybe that's what I'll tell myself. Well, we got a one-star view. Like maybe they were patients of that one surgeon and they just like are traumatized. I have a question for you.

Yeah. Cause I like how the doctor's listening to whatever they want to listen to. Yeah. But when I got my last surgery, the anesthesiologist told me that they were gonna play whatever music makes me feel calm when I'm sleeping. Oh.

Which I don't know, maybe that's a lie and then once I'm out, they just switch it over to a podcast. They play your podcast. They just play like my podcast. But if you had to like go under and they were like what music would like would you want to fall asleep to? What would your music be? Wow yeah nobody's ever asked me that. Probably like some some glass animals. They're very like pretty mellow but sometimes poppy and like know, it's like one of those where I know the words to most of the songs.

What about you? Did you give them an answer? I said lo-fi. Oh, yeah, that's good too, because that really, you know, you're not going to get like some some spike in your heart rate or something. Well, the irony is I should have played something that was really going to fuck with my heart because I was trying to get them to set off an episode. Oh, wait a minute. Maybe they asked so that you said lo-fi and they're like put it on hi-fi. Yeah. You know, put it on hi-fi. Yeah. You know, put it on the extreme. But it should have played like metal or something.

I sure could go for some Perpranolol. Oh wait, I don't have to look very far because I have a prescription thanks to the doctor I found on Sock Doc. I mean, we say it every time, but it's like, it's honestly a comically perfect sponsorship fit because it's like oh you can find professionals to work with you for all your many ailments, which we obviously have like a

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which has definitely happened to me. That's how I got my propranolol. By the end of the day, I went, oh my gosh, I guess I can just go have this. It seemed a little too good to be true. Stop putting off those doctor appointments and go to zockdoc.com slash drink to find an instantly book a top rated doctor today.

That's Z-O-C-D-O-C dot com slash drink. Zocdoc.com slash drink. You know when things are just out of control and you feel totally spiraled or you're just like ungrounded something that helps me are cornbread hemp's CBD gummies. I'm not kidding I have these on my nightstand and on Blaze's nightstand. Sometimes if one of us is feeling extra on edge, the other one will say, hello, my darling, I have a little CBD gummy for you. And thankfully they really, really do help. Cornbread Hemp's CBD gummies are made to help you feel better,

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That's cornbreadhemp.com slash drink and use code drink at checkout. That's cornbreadhemp.com slash drink and use code drink. Here we go. So this is called I accidentally maybe kind of sort of haunted my mother-in-law's house. I don't think you did it. I don't think it was you. This is from Kayla and it says, hello, ATWWD friends, long time listener, first time caller. I've been listening since 2017. Wow.

Oh my God. And it's been so exciting to be here since the beginning and grow with you. My name is Kayla, she, her, and I am a Scorpio. Sorry, not sorry. Well, I think it's the best sign ever. I know how you guys feel. I actually do like Scorpios.

I've had to admit that in recent years, but Em does not approve of it. So. You know, he couldn't even just years, but Em does not approve of it. So. You know, he couldn't even just back me up on that. That's crazy. Couldn't just go, me too. You know what? It's like I did and then I felt,

oh, maybe the like public facing look would be better if we had both sides. Okay, sure. In case someone felt like, oh, but then with Megan, I can't even bring myself to pretend you know It's like that you don't even bother to pretend with that one Okay, for a Scorpio. I can give you like you're fine. I You know anytime someone comes up to me by the way anytime someone comes up to me and genuinely apologizes

I was like do you think I'm that serious about no yeah, really don't please, don't feel really actually hurt by any of this nonsense, I hope. I just astrologically hate you, that's all. It's not real. It's not real. It's just as real as astrology. Maybe it is incredibly real, but I don't know. We'll see. And maybe it's apple juice,

and nobody knows the reality, right? It's like we all, you know. The world's all fake, so. It's all fake, that's right, nothing's real. Here we go. Well, I think it's the best I've ever, I know how you guys feel, but before you write me off completely,

just know I was also an OG emo kid, obsessed with Billy Talent, oh, my favorite. That's that, that's that. That's what they played during your surgery, I hope. Because there's literally a song that my brother and I still are like, I cannot believe we would just blast this. And it goes like, it literally says like, I'm going to drive over my dad

in my car or something like the lyrics are ridiculously emo. Like it's like nobody understands me. I'm going to blow up the house. And it's like, what the fuck? I was just relisting to some like of the songs that we used to sing as a kid. And I was just blown. There was one that like the main bridge of the song was screaming multiple times, fuck me in the backseat.

And it was just a bunch of children just screaming it on the school bus together. And the bus driver was like, OK. I remember the bus that was always on the bus. It was like fucking feral. We were just like, listen to the most the music that like was just on the radio with like, or the most like, uh, not appropriate music and just learn every single word.

It was, it was our song on the tennis team. If we won, we could play that song on the way back. And so, and so we would, we would just scream for like two hours. We would just play it on repeat. Fuck me in the backseat. I was like, I just can't believe that that was allowed. I don't even know what song that is.

For sure by Medic Droid. I can't get out of here. OK. Oh, right. Of course. OK, so Billy Tallot, good stuff. I think we can find some common ground. Very diplomatic. I now we can find some common ground. Wow, very diplomatic. I now work as an archeologist. Oh my God, specializing in human skeletal remains.

Like see, this is what I'm saying. Like these people are way too above my pay grade. Like you shouldn't be listening to my advice. It's not good. Absolutely. I now work as an archeologist and Screech, you should email me to my car radio whenever Christine or Em says, we should ask me to my car radio whenever Christina M says,

we should ask an archaeologist. We probably say that a lot. Okay, perfect. Well, let's see, I'm under the impression that if I say it loud enough to the car, you'll hear me and somehow divine my information to ask, it's happening right now. You did it.

You manifested it. You manifested it and somehow divine my information to ask all your, I mean, certainly I don't remember any of my questions anymore, so it's like bad timing, but it's okay. Um, today I drink a gin and tonic because I have to get something off my chest. But before I tell you that story, I have to tell you another shorter one.

A, so that you know this isn't the first time I've done this, and B, so you understand that nothing like the second time happened the first time. I've also used pseudonyms for everyone, so name drop away. Okay. When my younger brother Phil and I were in high school, we moved with our parents into an, first time. I've also used pseudonyms for everyone, so name drop away. Okay. When my younger brother Phil and I were in high school, we moved with our parents into it. Imagine having a younger brother being like, I get to make up your name.

I'm going to call you Phil. Yeah, not the name I'd pick. I'm so sorry. I know I'm very ADHD brain today, but I just have like hilarious. I made up names for everyone. Anyway, my brother Phil was like wonderful. I would have been like, anyway, my brother, ugly asshole. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, stupid poopy face, yeah.

When my younger brother Phil and I were in high school, we moved with our parents into a new house. The woman who had formerly owned the house had passed away in the hospital. Our mother loves the paranormal and introduced me to the movie Poltergeist way too young. So Phil, our dad and I thought it would be hilarious to play a prank on our mom and tell her

the previous owner had died in the house, not the hospital. Nice, okay, great. Yeah, love that. It totally freaked her out. Phil and I, however, decided to take it further over the course of a few years. Oh gosh, Phil had learned some ventriloquism techniques. And I would- Oh my God.

Are you the Fox sisters? What's happening? Is that why you have to use pseudonyms? Phil? Phil Fox? That's very funny. This is crazy okay Phil had learned some ventriloquism techniques as you do I guess and I would summon the ghost of the former owner Helen Helen can you hear me? Are you with us right now? And this creaky nails on a chalkboard disembodied groan would happen courtesy of Phil, of course.

This poor mom, we also developed some methods of knocking or cracking our knuckles just like the Fox sisters. There we go. Are you kidding? Literally it says just like the Fox sisters? A la the Fox sisters. Well, okay, so yes, this is the Fox sisters. It says, a la the Fox sisters. Well, okay. So yes, this is the Fox sisters.

It has to be. To make noises, to add to the groaning. We kept this up until I moved out and we had to come clean since Phil couldn't do all his ventriloquism anymore. From college, yeah. It's like we're going to FaceTime. That would be amazing. We're going to FaceTime summon.

Yeah. Hold on. Oh my God. Phil and I both live in different states now, but when we're together at our parents' house, FaceTime summon. Yeah. Hold on. Oh my God. Phil and I both live in different states now, but when we're together at our parents' house, we still tease our mom with, Helen, are you with us right now? That's like such a good family joke though. I mean that like, genius. Wait till she's a little drunk, you know? Oh my God. And by the way, she is for sure going to get you back somehow. I don't't know how but like you better watch out like that has to be one of the best. I mean

Well done. That's a great family joke. And also like a bonding between siblings like 100% you did a great. Hits all the spots It's so good. Wow. So it says now for why drink my then boyfriend now husband Nick and I were living in an apartment for Nick's birthday He wanted to throw a house party. His mother Anne told us we were welcome to use her house while she was out of town since it had more space than our apartment. There's some background information here. The movie Psycho scarred Anne. She has a shower curtain that is only solid on the bottom two-thirds. Yeah that movie scared the shit out of me too. The top third of the shower curtain is mesh so she can

see out of it. I used to think I would see aliens, so I would like keep the shower curtain open. Sick. I don't know what I think I'd see, but I do know that I'm terrified. I just look at the feeling. Yeah, I just I just put my butt out to the curtain and I just look at the wall and I just hope no one's coming. Oh, really? I'm just like eyes through you the whole time. And Geo's always staring at me like, what?

And I'm like, I don't know what? Oh, God. Let's see. So she has this shower curtain, so Norman Bates can't sneak up on her. Good. Number two is Anne's house faces a street. The house is angled in such a way that when there's traffic going in one direction on the street at night, the headlights will reflect off the siding of the neighbor's house through the bathroom window, off the bathroom mirror

and into the shower, where the mesh portent of the shower curtain can make some really weird distorted shadows. Okay, good insight. Three, Nick grew up in this house and does not recall anything weird ever happening. As Nick's party began to wind down, all of us were pretty inebriated. One of the other guest brothers had volunteered to come over at the end of the party and drive people home. Ann's house also has two guest bedrooms, so no one had to drive themselves anywhere. After everyone that was staying at the house with us had gone to bed, Nick and I were still up, chatting on the couch and cleaning up the red Solo cups that had been left all over the kitchen and living room.

Suddenly, one of our friends, Scott, appeared in the doorway, and he was sheet white with huge eyes. I asked, dude, what's wrong? And he replied, I know I've been drinking, but I'm totally serious right now. I don't think I imagined it. I was washing my hands in the bathroom and I saw a bunch of shadows moving behind me. Good. Rather than explain what happens when a car drives past the house,

I thought I'd take this opportunity to tease him a little. What the fuck are you doing? This is evil. It says parentheses, such a Scorpio. So honestly, I'm like, you're making your point. OK, I get it now. I don't get why people don't like Scorpio's anyway. Here are all the evil things I've done people psychologically

Psychologically scar them. Oh my god. I thought I'd take this opportunity to seize him a little such a Scorpio Oh, yeah, Am's house is haunted. You didn't know that Scott goes no I said, oh, yeah the guy that owned the house before and hanged himself in the shower. What is wrong with you? Scorpio. God, okay. That's definitely what you saw. Nick was very seriously nodding behind me.

So the boyfriend who grew up in this house, helping me sell the story. And Nick also probably a Scorpio, just saying. Or like, what's one of the like passive signs that's just like, sure, I'll go for it. Like a- Or how about an areas where you just fan the flames? You're like, oops, I fucked this up.

I don't know. We'll see. Let's see. The next morning as we are hungoverly eating frozen waffles, Scott asks, were you serious last night about the house being haunted? I burst out laughing and said, no, absolutely not. I was totally messing with you and told him about the car had lights reflecting off the neighbor's house and bathroom mirror. And that was the end of that. Except it wasn't. Is the house getting back at you now?

I hope that you are getting punished, but it sounds like Anne might be, because it says since that night, Anne has told us about waking up to all the counter drawers and cabinets in her kitchen being open. Oh my God. Hearing someone walk across the floor, hearing a man's voice talking in different rooms. Okay. And by the way, like her husband grew up in this house, so like, this woman has probably lived there for decades.

And like, you wouldn't just suddenly say, oh, the doors are just opening by themselves. Like, that's scary. That's like new activity. It's almost like the Scorpio summoned something. Wow, it's almost like the Scorpio summoned something again, which I guess you did sort of say in the first paragraph. As I previously mentioned, Nick and I now live in a different state.

When we go home, we'll stay with Anne. We've also heard the footsteps and voices that we've never been able to make out what they were saying. One night while we were there, we all woke up to a loud chiming noise. The three of us walked to the kitchen where we found the refrigerator chiming because the door was wide open. The ref, stop.

Actually, now I'm scared. The refrigerator was completely empty. Oh, oh my God. The food that had been inside was now stacked neatly on the counters. Ah! Yeah, I can't. Since then, since then, Ann has reported that the drinking glasses

and dishes have also been taken out of their cabinets and stacked elsewhere in the house, but never broken. Always just, I know this is not cute. Oh, I just also hate that like you can have a peaceful home for decades and then you have one house party and it's all just like. Like, I almost wonder, wonder, did someone die by suicide and now they're pissed that everything was cool until you mocked them and now all of a sudden, ugh.

Or is it like you opened a space by saying, oh, this place is haunted and it's like, now it is. Yeah, who knows? Oh my God, yeah, that's terrible. I'm sorry, that fridge. First of all, nothing's scarier than a fridge being empty, but also to be empty, because, paralogically, what? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

It's like, yeah, yeah, no, nothing good. None of this had ever happened prior to my quote, little joke. It was only afterwards that all of this started happening in Ann's house. Ann says it doesn't happen frequently enough to really bother her, but she's totally mystified about why it started happening so suddenly after living in the house for almost 40 years. Oh my god. Since it's been pretty harmless, she's admitted she's amused by her roommate, as she calls it. It's been nearly 13 years since I made up the story to tease Scott,

and Nick and I still haven't told her about it. Oh my God. Okay, that's the evil. That's the evil. That's evil. That's evil. And that's the story about how while drunk one night I made up a story to prank and also drunk friend and accidentally maybe kind of sort of somehow summoned something that now haunts

my mother-in-law's house. The end. Okay. Your mother-in-law must hate you for sure. No, I love that the mother-in-law like has no clue though. She's like, that's so weird. Oh my God. No wonder you haven't told her.

I guess I don't blame you. I don't know. I, yeah. Oh my God. Well, whoopsies. It was an accident. I mean, I guess it was an accident. It was, but see, this is what a joke sometimes goes too far.

My friend. It's like the perfect beginning to like a 90s thriller movie. It's like, did you know this place is haunted? And then it is now everyone's running away. And then it's like, I don't know. Whatever you just said. I was like, what was gonna happen there?

Who the fuck am I now? Okay, we have, great. Whatever this is, the subject line is clown. However, please hold because I have to fix this dog toy. He's eating only the plastic and none of the food in it. Oh, good. So I froze all that stuff, like in the nooks and crannies of the spinner thing. He learned if you just throw it on the ground that- This is a smart dog.

He's too smart. I'm loving this dog. He was just like, if I frisbee across the room, then it will fall and all the ice cubes in it will shatter. And then I won't eat the food that you cut up and froze. I'm just gonna eat the plastic around it. So proud of him right now. Like it hurts.

I'm just gonna take it away from him. No! Please stand by, we have to step away. Didn't occur to me that when he frisbees the ice everywhere, the ice melts everywhere. Uh-oh, and makes little puddles. And then also he broke the plastic part I thought he was breaking and so now it won't ever be a spinner again. So. Well, yeah, that's what happens when you have a dog like that because they just

can't use normal toys because they break them. He's not allowed to have any stuffed animals, any rope toys, like even like the toughy things, like he just rips them up in five seconds. Like it's just. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And there's only so many bones you can get them. Oh, yeah. Yeah, I feel you on that. And those bully sticks smell so bad. I know. And now he's abandoned ship with all of the frozen fruit all over the floor.

So cool. Um, well, I just wanted on record. I didn't sign up for this. OK, noted. OK, sorry, everyone. Here is this is from Q, who uses he, him pronouns. Thank you for those. And the subject line is the clown that snuck around in our basement.

Oh, I. Oh, OK. I was going to say clown was going to be worse. And then you said it out loud and I went, wait, actually, no, I prefer cloud. This is bad. This is bad. Yeah. Hello. I really hope Eva picks this. OK. Well, Q, I have news for you. Before I dive in, I just want to say that I listen to the show at work and I both love and hate how funny you two are.

Surgeon. Yeah. Sorry. Thought I'd add that in there just in case. Cue the brain surgeon who probably listens to metal. It's always dead silent in our office so I have to hold in my laughter which is not easy. Anyway, this is hands down the scariest experience of my life. It happened in 2017 when I was 14 years old. My brothers and I were upstairs playing on the Xbox in the living room. There are five of us and we all shared the basement as our bedroom. That sounds like a that sounds like a lost boys island. Yeah, it feels like a it feels like a movie. Yeah.

The basement had a sliding glass door that led to a small backyard which made it easy to come and go. You know what after one overactive or one hyperactive dog, I can imagine a mom having five sons and just being like, slap a door on the- Go to the basement with a door out to the yard. Yeah, we're just going to open the doggy door. I mean, kid door and let you run out. I bet she locks the basement door when she goes to bed. She's like, just stay down there. I don't care. I won't ever look. You'll find your way out if you need to. The game we were playing was only four players.

So when it was my turn to sit out, I decided to go downstairs and grab something. I can't remember what it was, but as I got to the basement, something in the dark caught my eye. The curtains on the sliding glass door were slightly open and the porch light revealed something outside that sent a chill down my spine a red balloon

Tied to a rock Tied to a rock. What the fuck? It was just sitting there almost like it was watching me At the time I thought and this was oh, yeah at the time the whole killer clowns That's where my brain went to because the year was what? 2016 was the main clown year, but this was the whole killer clowns. That's where my brain went too. Because the year was what? What year was it? 2016 was the main clown year, but this was the spill off of that probably.

This is when creepy clowns were terrorizing people outside their homes. I never thought something like that could happen to me. I panicked and ran upstairs as fast as I could, yelling for my brothers. I told them what I saw and asked if any of them had done it. They all swore it wasn't them and decided to come down with me to check it out. When we got back to the basement I realized there were

things were much worse than I thought. What? As I looked closer I noticed that the sliding glass door was slightly cracked open. Okay well I was like how did they open the curtains? They must have opened the fucking door. I hadn't gotten there. But I was also like, maybe they're outdoor curtains? I don't know. Oh, man. No. That's what I realized. Whoever put the balloon outside had been inside our house. Good night.

We froze. Oh my God. We froze in fear and ran back upstairs to tell our dad. He looked completely shocked, denied any involvement, and decided to come down with us to investigate. Having him there made us feel safer since he's a big strong guy. Oh my God. We started searching the basement for clues. When I opened the furnace room, I saw something that made my heart drop. And the corner was a black balloon with a clown mask taped to it staring at us. What in the ever loving fuck is going on here? For sure.

So in the basement confirming our worst fears that someone had been inside our house to set this up. This is horrible. At that point, we all became hysterical. Yeah, forget your strong dad. We're all in the car and never coming back. I got a cheap way to fix all this. Light a match. Yeah. Set the house ablaze. I don't want to be part of any of this anymore. At that point, we're all hysterical. We weren't sure if this person was still in our house and my dad ran upstairs, grabbed his shotgun and started yelling in the basement, demanding whoever was there to come out.

There was one place left to check, the storage closet. Why, okay, okay. Our storage closet had a small crawl space. And while we mostly used it for storing random items, it was the perfect hiding spot. This is an I'm so glad I'm not a dad. I'm so glad I'm not a dad. I'm so glad I'm not a dad. Even, like you don't even have to pretend to like be like,

I'll go in the storage closet. But you know, as a dad, you're like, well, shit, I guess it's my job. I know, I know. Excuse me, like how about the two people here who are not men living in the same house? And I'm the more mask one. Okay, but yeah, right.

Cause I've been on Ghostsons with you and I'm always the one going in the crawl space. So I don't know what you're pulling at home, but I swear to God, I feel like. I certainly appear, if someone's looking through our window and thinking, who do I have to take? They're looking at me first. That's true, you are six feet tall.

Yes, this is true. Although, and my response is always freeze. Luckily, Alison does this fight. So she's, she'll throw a punch in there. Mine is fawn, I'd be like, oh my God, what a cute mask. Girl, what's your number? I wanna follow you. Looking so voluminous and red today.

My backup is Fawn, for sure. Woof-a-doo. Fight has never been in my vocabulary. Certainly not. But Allison, I think she'd throw up. She'd at least get one good punch in there before you got She the best case scenario because if she's not the target and then she just swoops in with a see Allison You're our sleeper agent. You gotta show up

Okay, so our storage closet has a small crawl space It was the perfect hiding spot my dad took a deep breath open the closet and checked the crawl to our relief it was empty. We went back upstairs, tried to decide if we should call the police. Yes. Yes. My brother was adamant we should, but as we debated we heard faint music playing. I'm just like so I can't with people are fucking awful. What's happening? At first we thought it was coming from the neighbors. The sound seemed to grow distant as we placed our ears against the walls to listen, but eventually we realized it was coming from below us. No.

And it was creepy circus music. And if no, no, and it hadn't even started yet until now. Terror. And you're discussing the police. Terror set in once again and we began, we begged our dad to call the police, but he just stood there calm as could be and that's when it hit me. I turned to him and asked, is this a prank? Yep. And he smiled and nodded. You motherfucking.

Turns out he had been behind the entire thing. He set up the balloons. I like how he like loaded the shotgun for his own prank. I hope he didn't load the shotgun. Let's be clear. They never said he loaded it. Let's be clear because that feels like way too dangerous if a kid gets their hands on it. But he set up the balloons, placed the clown mask and even hid a Bluetooth speaker above the door to play creepy music. Okay. The fact that he's like, no, let's not call the police and then hits play on Spotify or whatever. Yeah. He's like, don't look at my phone though. Diabolical dude, diabolical.

Even though it was all a sick joke, it remains the scariest moment of my life. And to this day, I always make sure to lock the doors and close the curtains. You know what, lesson learned. That's the most dad thing we've ever said. Hey, it taught you to lock your door. Character development, rub some dirt in it.

Yikes. Thanks for listening to my story. Keep up the great work. And by the way, anytime you tell us to drink some water, you thirsty little rats. I always stop when I'm doing a drink out of my water bottle. Oh, my gosh. Drink some water, you thirsty little rats. OK, I cannot. That was the craziest thing.

If if my parents do it to me, like the it would be like relief and like just fucking fury all at once. I'd be like, thank God it was you. I'm going to kill you now, you know? Like, oh boy. But I was also thinking saying you're gonna call the police is the only real way to figure out who did it.

Because like if one of the brothers did it, they'd be like, don't call the police, it was me, you know? I was expecting one of the brothers to fess up, but the fact that it was the dad is wild. It makes sense when the dad was like, no, we don't call the police, it was me, you know. I was expecting one of the brothers to fess up, but the fact that it was the dad is wild. It makes sense when the dad was like, no, we shouldn't call the police. Yeah, yeah, I was like, that's wrong answer, but wow, wow, wow, okay, this clown that snuck in.

Okay, I'm really excited about this one, because it's called, because it has my name in it. Great, okay, I'm glad you're reading it then. And I'm glad to admit that. This is from Christina, she, her, and it's called Christine's Birthday Ghost Twin Likes to Harass My Husband. Okay, well maybe I don't like it anymore. Oh, okay. We'll see. Christine's Birthday Ghost Twin Likes to Harass My Husband. Hello Eva, Geo, I'm Christine and the whole ATWD family. I'm Christina, she, her, long time listener and Patreon here.

I submitted this story a couple years ago, but have since learned Christine and I share a birthday, so it has extra freaky goose cam factor for her perhaps. I'm haunted. Yes, you read that correctly. This feels like the beginning of a YA novel. Like, I'm haunted. It sure does.

Like this is the first sentence of your college application this time. Yes, oh my God, it's so good. Yes, yes, yes, yes. If you're not in college yet, you should go and use that as your essay. All the females in my family seem to be various levels of sensitive.

And while the majority try to ignore it, I usually don't. As a night shift nurse, this can make working in a hospital a little creepy though, but probably really interesting. I'm saying. I have a million stories of the various spirits that are both attached to me and also that I've experienced places.

But I want to tell you about the little girl named Sarah. Uh-oh. Why? Sarah, why? It's okay, you don't have to. You don't have to do that. You don't have to. Sarah has made herself known to me

as long as I can remember. I don't even know if she has or ever had a name, but that's the name that felt right to me. Forget it. And what I've always called her. When I experience spirits, I don't even know if she has or ever had a name, but that's the name that felt right to me. Forget it. And what I've always called her. When I experienced spirits, I don't always see them, but always can tell rough age, sex, and intention. That's probably good.

Some give more info and some very little. Sarah though is special. Of course she is. She's always special. They're all special. Every one of them. They're special, oh boy. She appears as a little girl,

roughly around six to eight years old. I have always felt she was a bit of a mirror of me, and that's about the age I can first recall seeing her as well. Coincidence? My first encounter with her was during a storm in the middle of the night. I saw a light coming down the hall

and thought it was my mom with a candle coming to check on me. Yes, my mom actually did carry one of those old fashioned style candles at night. Like father time. What era was your mom born in? When everyone was dying from rats biting them? Is this like a consumption era situation? Is her name Ebenezer Scrooge? I feel like, doesn't she worry about her nightcap

to catch a flame? Um. Is she like an ironic whimsy bitch or is this like real? This does feel like that vibe that went around where people were like, ooh, like Victorian like house dress vibes. And it's like, that seemed like a lot of energy to put into like being at home and being lazy. But they do sound like battery dress vibes. And it's like, that's a lot of energy to put into like being at home and being lazy.

But they do sell like battery operated ones. Maybe it's just like a battery operated one. Sure. I have this in my window, but like I don't walk around with it. I should, honestly, that would be really fun. I feel like it's a real lit one and she took it off the wall sconce.

I so hope. Oh, literally lit a torch and then kept walking. Do you live by chance in a cave? Is that part of this? I'm sorry if we make fun of you. I'm really not. I have these candles all over my house. I just have never thought to walk around like father time and I think I might start. I feel like your name is Vaughn Count Dracula or something. Your mother at the very least is like related to Nosferatu or something is going on. Um, sorry, by the way, we've got a visitor.

Oh, excellent. Can I please see? He's a baby. Oh, but he's licking his wee-wee. Isn't that nice? Everything he does is to piss us off, I promise you. It's just to make, like, we just want to see the cute dog and he won't even let us see the cute dog. He wasn't doing that until I put the camera on him. Yeah.

It's like he's shy. Puppy, yeah, that is, I am, I wouldn't use the word shy at this point. Hello, puppy. Hey, there you go. Goodness, goodness, you're cute. Oh, you're a puppy. Oh, you're a puppy.

Oh, you're a big puppy. Yeah. It's a bigger dog than Gio ever was as a puppy, for sure. He's 10 months. From photos, I thought he was smaller than that. No, his favorite thing to do is piss me off. He does look like a little cousin of Gio, though, for sure. He does. I know he's probably part cattle dog, but we don't know anything else.

He does have a little... He has those spots. They're thinking his ears. Give me your ears. He looks a little Chihuahua. I was gonna say those look like Chihuahua ears for sure. Do you mind? Was that a slur in your language? Oh my god, look at that! I said Chihuahua and he was like, how the fuck? Are you a Chihuahua? He's like, do I look like a Chihuahua? Are you a Chihuahua?

Okay. Is this crinkle stuck? He has the attitude of one. I will say like, wow, he is I can see already the pappiness is like intense. Yeah, it's delicious. I don't think I realized like how puppy it was. OK, well, now he wants to just sit here with us. Oh, my God. You OK? OK, but tell everyone what his name is, because you haven't even told everyone. His name is Hank. I mean he actually okay So the second I did like the name Elmo like that one felt like your dog more the name

But Hank also does kind of he's Too smart for his okay. Here he comes again. Would you like to set for your dating profile? Can you sit? Can you show I can I date you please you're the cutest thing I've ever seen in my whole darn life. That's very nice. Your little paw on my chest. Oh, hey, no, see? This is the problem. Can you just look right here? There you go. You're the cutest baby. You're the cutest baby. Hi.

You're a good little baby. So, hey, if anyone else in the area... Hey, this is a good way to shout out Hank, right? This is the PSA. Does anyone like to walk a lot and go outside a lot because Hank is waiting for you? Hey, uh, don't do that here. Eat this put that in your mouth. This is uh, this is a great ad for Hank though. He It he is really smart. He just he there's no room for him to move around. So he just gets mouthy on everything

He is really smart. He just, there's no room for him to move around. So he just gets mouthy on everything. He's just a puppy and needs like, yeah, has a lot of excess energy. I will give Alison a shout out though for training him. I mean, he knows like way more than I thought a dog could know. She would be so good as training.

Yeah, like that does not surprise me. She runs a tight ship over here. And now that there's a dog, she runs this dog training situation. Like, oh, oh. I was gonna say, when it comes to training him, she is like the Navy. She doesn't fuck around. She um.

Yeah, she's very good at that kind of thing. I feel like she's very like um. Their whole family is really weird, like weirdly good at training dogs. But so he knows sit, wait, leave it, down, off, paw, other paw, twirl, rollover. Good boy. He knows right here so he stays on one side of you when he walks. He knows to not lunge at other dogs. Well see he's a perfect dog everybody. Does anyone want a dog? When he if you exercise him enough or if you have a yard, he is a perfect dog. And you're looking for someone to take him, right? To adopt him?

Yeah, he is adoptable. Okay, that's why I keep saying, hey everybody, this is an advertisement. I'm not... No, no, no, no. Someone put the dating game theme music behind this. Yeah! Well, we can actually post a video of all the smart things he can do because Alison did a whole things he can do because Allison did like a whole

Everything he can learn. You literally could just post a photo and like the whole world will be clamoring to meet Hank. He's so cute He's very cute. Although I already posted about him and said he is adoptable Please adopt him and everyone DMed me going congratulations on your dog and I'm like, oh, I definitely didn't see your post maybe I don't know, but he he means well He's just he just has puppy energy and we just can't keep up with it. So if you have a yard you we have a perfect dog for you. If you have puppy energy reach out because I certainly don't either. He's also very good with other dogs. Uh bigger dogs scare him, but like he doesn't do anything about it. He just hides. Um, but then anything he likes to feel like he's in charge. I think um, so. What a cutie. But all smaller dogs I take him to the dog park and he just hides but then anything he likes to feel like he's in charge i think um so but all smaller dogs i take him to the dog park and he just like goes nuts with small dogs so geo loves

smaller dogs too i think that dog is german shepherd too with the coloring yeah there's something going on there but and then he's he's very snuggly when he's tired he's like all he wants to do is lie on your lap and like roll up on you and stuff he's very sweet it's just when um he oh his biggest fear for some reason is when you're sitting down on your laptop. Hates it. That's Leona's biggest fear, by the way. So there you go. You have a fucking toddler. She's like, look at me, look at me, look at me. Like literally the second you look at something else, she's like, and you're like, oh my fucking God, quiet for 30 minutes. She, uh, uh, he just hates, hates when I'm sitting still.

Gio literally will come up and just be like, what's happening? And it's like, get away, get away. I mean, he's thankfully over that now, but like as a puppy, god, um, yeah, that's- I'm sure it'll go away, but right now I think he thinks like, you must be so bored just sitting there, let me entertain you. What do you want to do? Yeah. I'm like, get the hell away from me. but he doesn't like even if you eat food or something He doesn't beg or anything. Like he's like a really perfect dog. He's just higher energy than I am. That's it

Yeah, anyway, if you would like a dog in the California area, we have one We have one waiting for you. Please take him We're gonna have to make a whole podcast dating like a whole podcast about like just the rounds of the speed dating that Hank's gonna Have to do to pick his new forever family I know we already had a listener reach out and say that they were interested in him But then I never heard back from them. So okay. Well Sorry, I know you were in the middle of a story, but he started chewing on everything. Oh Right. It was about Ebenezer Scrooge. Hold on

How can I forget? Thank God my dog can't talk because if he could, he would just be asking for food every single day. And we recently have been feeding him Ollie. He loves it. Like he actually, I know I've told you this before, I mean, he has moved his dinner somehow. He's like psychologically manipulated us

and moving his dinner from six o'clock to 1 p.m. every day. Oh my god. One day we went, how did we get here? Anyway, all that to say he doesn't talk technically, but I can tell what he's saying and he's always hungry. So if your dogs are also psychologically manipulating you it's probably because of Ollie, which delivers clean fresh nutrition in five drool worthy ways. You don't need to be a veterinarian nutritionist to know that real, minimally processed food is the best choice for your dog's health. And Ollie is made in US kitchens

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Okay, I love this because it says yes, my mom. LLIE.com slash drink and enter code drink to get 60% off your first box. OK, I love this because it says, yes, my mom. Also, by the way, I feel like Christina was like, yeah, you're in the middle of bullying my mother extensively. And like, yes, I was. And I do. I am my bad. Yes. It says my mom actually carried one of those old fashioned style candles at night and would sit in candlelight. OK, you're probably right. It probably is a fucking candle. And then she says, I didn't realize how weird or cool

that is until I was older. And like, certainly weird. And then you started lighting your own candelabras. Yeah, and your dorm room was like, your dorm, your RA was like, can you not light a candle and walk through the hallways? I sat up in bed and instead of my mom entering my doorway, it was a little girl.

No. A girl I could quite literally see through and that I didn't know. I freaked out and dove under the covers in fright. I could feel her standing next to my bed. You know that feeling you get when someone is watching you. It eventually went away and I fell asleep, but that was the start of my hauntings.

Oh God. We moved a few years later and Sarah followed, showing that she wasn't attached to our previous home. She was mischievous and loved to play jokes on us. By this time, my mom also had experiences involving the little girl. Well, yeah, you're like, she's walking around with a candle. The girl's probably like, mama?

I'm sorry, I'm so sorry. Well, I thought she was alive. That was how electricity worked. She's like, finally, something I recognize. It's like Dick with his ambulance lights. He's like, finally, somebody old school I can relate to. Okay. Although she, my mom hadn't seen her like I did that first time.

Mostly we would hear her. Oh God. You would randomly hear laughing and crying without being able to pinpoint where it's coming from. Lights would flicker and burn out and items would move to new places on their own. One time she pulled the agitator out of the washing machine and placed it on top of the closed lid.

That one really pissed my mom off as she had a hell of a time getting it back in. I'm sure. That's weird. To place it on top means also it didn't just fall out or something, you know? It's like it was removed intentionally. Sarah's wily. Sarah's like having was removed intentionally. Sarah's wily.

Sarah's like having some pranks. She's a little prankster. One time I had a friend sleeping over and a self-portrait I drew and was framed on the wall levitated itself over the bed and dropped on top of me in the middle of the night. Oh my God. This was a good six feet away

from where the painting had been hanging. Levitating is a firm no for me, dog. That's a no. That's a no. That's a no. Or throwing itself across the room? No. The glass shattered on my face. Oh my God.

And I received a small cut on my chin. My friend slept through it, but my mom heard me screaming, quote unquote, and ran to my room where she found me sitting up in bed, but no noise coming from my mouth. I feel like an exorcist. So like a psychic scream that her mom heard her. Oh, I hate that.

Yeah. Oh yeah, I should mention my mom and I have a weird connection like that. Okay, well, thank you. And I also now have the same with my own daughters. Oh, that's really nice. That's nice. Maybe one day you'll hear them screaming in your head.

Yeah, and then you'll be like, oh no Not again. That's begotten Soon after when my mom was at a tattoo shop watching a family member got a tattoo the artist randomly looks at my mom and says Tell your daughter the girl didn't mean to hurt her. She was just saying hi. Oh Well, can you tell her bye for me shit? I don't know Wow Because guess what that artist was also a medium. She also said the girl was attached to me I don't know when or why I started referring to her as Sarah, but it felt right. And a different medium confirmed that she liked the name Sarah.

The girl liked the name Sarah. I'm gonna start calling her anything else then. Yeah, I don't know about that. The second medium- Get away. Yeah, the sec- What's Sarah backward? Aris? The second medium- Harris.

Harris, oh yeah. The second medium told me it felt like the girl was my twin sister. I am not a twin, but my mom had me when she was a teen and prenatal care and testing wasn't as good. We think it's possible she was a disappearing twin in utero and never got the chance to grow and be born. Well, she did say she reminds you of her reflection, you know, like it felt like a reflection of

me. She appears as a child because that's when I first acknowledged her and it fits her demeanor. Since Christine and I share a birthday, Christine, you have a ghost birthday twin, yay! Hey, I'm so glad it's you. I'm so glad it's you. I'm like thank God that you and Christine were both born 24 hours after me.

Fast forward to me dating my non-ghost believing husband. He absolutely did not believe in anything paranormal and his world was about to be rocked. When I first started spending nights at his apartment, he would complain to me about lights constantly burning out and the water being turned off by itself or turned it on by itself sorry. He went as far as having the maintenance person come and inspect the wiring because he was convinced it was a simple explanation.

Spoiler the wiring was fine. It always is. It escalated to items being moved around the apartment, TVs turning on and other random things. He still wasn't buying the whole ghost explanation though. The more he denied it, the more she messed with him. We eventually got married, had three children, and Sarah became the ghost auntie who made herself known to them early on." Wow. I was like, I don't think so. I hope in only good ways until candles are floating everywhere or something. Very good point. And like picture frames are shattering on their faces. Yeah. Yeah I I'm not super stoked right away. I would like to see how that turns out.

Yeah, like let's let's hold some boundaries first. We would never discuss paranormal things around the kids because we didn't want to scare them or imprint ideas. So everything they experienced was very organic until they were much older. When our oldest daughter was a toddler, I would often hear her at night playing with another child in her room. Sarah didn't understand that our daughter needed sleep and sometimes woke her up, and this led to a pretty cranky toddler. Frustrated, I once stepped into the room when my daughter had obviously just been woken up and said out loud, can you just please leave her alone?

The next night I was laying in bed and felt a cold breeze up my body and a pressure push down on me, accompanied by a little girl's voice screaming next to my ear. Both of my sisters were actually visiting and spending the night and reported that the same thing happened to them. It was like a little child's tantrum. She didn't visit again for years, for several years. Damn, she felt cut out.

She fucking had an axe to grind. Oh my god. What's the thing? What's the one? What's the one that Lisa always says? Axe Battle axe she's a fucking bet. She's like you don't mess with me. Yeah. Yeah, I don't think so My son also experienced her when he was around age three or four He came running into my room in the middle of the night and was shaking He told me the girl who's dead tried getting into

my bed. Bye. He didn't know about Sarah and it freaked him out. The next day in his room he told me the dead girl watches me outside the window. I looked outside and said I didn't see anyone and he replied that's because you don't have the eye anymore. Forget it. This is a three-year-old. What the fuck? You don't have the eye anymore. I. Yeah, I don't think so. I think it'd be a fun experiment to just take holy water and just kind of spritz it in the corners of the house, just so you can see what happens. It's like what happened to you.

Like she's outside the window, it looks like. Watching from outside. And watch the windows with the holy water. Watch the windows. OK, there you have it. Yeah. Now on to how she continues to harass harass my husband I shouldn't find it as funny as I do but it is over the years he finally accepted that ghost exists he couldn't deny after all the experiences he's had near me as I tend to draw in any spirits passing by or residing in an area along with Sarah of course Sarah seems have made her personal mission to continue to prank my husband when he least expects it multiple times times she's knocked things over near him, or off the wall to get his reaction. We even have video of this. Imagine a sister-in-law who likes to give you crap, but she's a child and a ghost. My favorite was one night when he woke up to beg me to ask her to stop. Our bedroom door doesn't latch so we would put a basket of laundry in front of it to keep it closed at night. It had some heft, so didn't move easily either.

He told me she wouldn't leave the door alone and proceeded to show me how he was closing the door, pushing the basket in front, waiting a minute, and sure enough, the door and basket were both pushed open. I forget that. We could clearly hear a little girl laughing when he did it that time, and he said, "'Now she's laughing at me!'

I rolled over and went back to sleep. He was not amused at my lack of urgency. She did warn him of a passer thrower though, which tells me, I don't like that, which tells me her pranks are truly and good fun. Passer throughers are what I call spirits who aren't attached to the location and usually are a one-time haunt

and we don't see them again. This instance, I was at work and my husband was home alone. I got a call from him mid-shift and he was freaking out telling me someone kept opening and closing doors he could hear footsteps and things moving and it didn't sound or feel like any of the residual ghosts that belong to our 100 year old house. I'm like sorry dude I'm at work what do you want from me? He said he was going to try to nap. He got woken up from his nap by Sarah yelling in his ear, who is that? Several times. He said she sounded freaked out and being woken up by a ghost yelling freaked him out.

Our dog was also, yeah, you don't say. Everyone's pointing fingers at everyone else. Who's driving the bus? It's like the Scooby Doo. Our dog was even acting weird and watching the steps like she was waiting for someone to walk up them The video recorded our dog doing this and sent it to me when the audio was turned all the way up I could hear a male whispering. That was not my husband The voice clearly said Sarah like whoever was passing through was acknowledging her Like a man what well that spirit never showed again and my husband felt better with Sarah's presence after realizing she does have his back. Who is that? Thanks for finally showing up in time.

Yeah, now I'm a grandmother. My granddaughter has pointed out people in her house and asked her mom about them. She's two and a half and nothing is creepier than getting night vision security camera video from your daughter of your grandchild pointing at a corner asking, what is that? Okay, so yeah. So the daughter also feels Sarah around. Yeah.

Last line here. She doesn't make herself as known as she once did. My daughter also has other ghosts in her own home, including a Spanish speaking ghost who likes to watch TV and pace in the attic. If my granddaughter suddenly speaks Spanish, we'll know where she picked it up. Never a dull moment. And that's why I drink." Wow, Christina. Jesus Christ.

What a fucking tail you weave there. I really, I know this is like such a subtle one, but I really didn't like the hearing a man's voice go, Sarah. Yeah, what the fuck? It's like, oh, so she's not alone. Well, no, that was the guy passing through or whatever. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, sorry.

No, yeah, I think that was when the girl was like, who's here, who's here? And then he woke up and was like, someone's slamming all the doors and it's a passer througher. In my mind, I thought they heard another, I think I heard it wrong. I thought there was another voice of a man now,

like Sarah's not by herself. Oh, there was like a second. Well, they were saying like Sarah warned them that somebody was passing through the house, like someone else, and it was a man, if that makes sense. Yes, I'm out. As much as sense as that could make. Uh, hmm.

And I'm curious to see like what else your kids deal with. I am too. It seems like this is like very hereditary also with all these things. Do you have anything spooky going on with Leona these days? She hasn't said much. No, not really.

She hasn't commented on the woman again or anything? No, and I had a tarot reading recently and I kind of jokingly was like, yeah, I have a three-year-old but she's never said anything creepy. And the woman was like, yeah, I think a three year old, but she's never said anything creepy. And the woman was like, yeah, I think it's more like some people. She said, I feel like I'm picking up that your daughter, she's like, I don't know your husband. I feel like she's more like your husband's brain is how it works. And I went,

well, that's probably a good thing for her. So no complaints there. Sure. All right. This one is from Haley who uses she her pronouns. Thank you for not using pronouns. And the subject line is some ghost school children were messing with me at work. Oh, my God, these kids are so annoying. I know Haley says I have a story that is not the most exciting or scary, but certainly made my heart race at the moment. For the background, I have always believed in the paranormal after experiencing unexplainable things in the house I lived in for the majority of my childhood,

so I have never been skeptical of spiritual presences. After I graduated high school, I got a seasonal job in Virginia City and it's at the 4th Ward School. The 4th Ward School was built in 1876 after the Great Fire of 1875 burnt a significant part of the town. The school operated until 1936 and was only opened again as a museum 50 years later in 1986. Geez. Yikes. So a lot of history. Yeah, I I worked there during the summer of 21.

Fun fact, this is where I started listening to the podcast. Oh Good selection of yeah And I often worked weekends when all other staff were not required to be there what why are you torturing yourself like this? I'm gonna be alone. They found out you listen to this podcast about ghosts and they're like, okay I guess it's your job to stay late then I to this podcast about ghosts and they're like, okay, I guess it's your job to stay late then. I worked a nine to five shift alone in a four story building that was almost 150 years old. I had multiple concrete, paranormal experiences in addition to a constant feeling of being watched and followed. The most significant and scariest experience I had was one day when I was completely

alone in the building with no staff and no customers. My desk was positioned directly in front of a gift shop and hosted a wide variety of things for tourists to purchase, including books and items and games for kids. Books were positioned on bookshelves and tchotchkes for kiddos were in baskets on the wall. On this slow day I was reading my book and when I heard a loud bang behind me that was a sharp, startling contrast to the complete silence before, and it made me jump out of my chair immediately. I looked back at the gift shop and I noticed one of the books was on the floor across the

room from the bookshelf, so it had thrown itself. I was shaken by this because I knew that the books could not fall that far naturally, but I gathered my courage and put the book back on its place on the shelf. I sat down at the desk and had just gotten my heart rate back under control when I heard another bang behind me. Jesus, these are good pranksters though. They wait just the right amount of time for you to feel safe again.

Well, I think you figured it out. I think that's Eva's theme is pranking for April Fools. Yes, I think I hit on that at one point. Oh, when the Scorpio kept saying she was tricking everyone and I was like, oh, I see. We're just being tricky here. I thought we were just gonna go find the word fool and everything, but I think you're right, those pranks.

Yeah, pranks seem to be like the more solid theme. This time when I turned around, I saw one of the tchotchkes was on the floor also across the room. Which tchotchke? Yeah, great question. What book? I need to know.

Items do not fall out of baskets. Thank you for telling me that Haley. Thank you. No, I think she's telling herself. So I knew that this was a spirit messing with me. Presumably a child spirit playing pranks given that I worked in a school museum. There you go. I once again put the item back in its place, but cleaned it off first because it was dusty and part of my job

and part of my job was to maintain the cleanliness of the museum. I went back to the desk, now thoroughly freaked out and tried to immerse myself back in my book. Once again, I heard an item fall behind me. I turned around and it was the same item that I had just replaced in the basket. No, that's fuckery. So it threw itself out twice? Yeah. The same damn item that I had just cleaned and put back,

but this time when I went to pick it. Oh yeah, so it was dusty. Okay, sorry, go ahead. So it was dusty and cleaned it. You cleaned it, put it back, it's thrown out, but this time when I bent up and picked up the item, I saw a small dusty fingerprint on it. No!

I got full body chills when I saw this and I simply put the item back and told the spirit that I would respect their presence as long as they respected mine. What the fuck? I told them that I had a job to do and I would appreciate it if they would stop messing with the gift shop because I had to clean it up. If I were a little kid and an adult who's just sitting there reading Harry Potter was like, I have a job to do. And I'd be like, I'm gonna fuck with you. Oh yeah, I'll give you a job to do. I then sat back down and no other items flew across the room for the rest of the day. I will never forget this experience as I feel it provided some validity to the general uneasiness I always

felt in that building. If you got this far, thank you for reading my story. I recommend looking up a photo of the fourth Ward School Museum in Virginia City because it really is a beautiful, elegant building, but very creepy to be alone in. I grew up in a small town about 20 minutes from Virginia City and I've had several paranormal experiences plus our favorite people, ZB and Ghost of Entrace crew have been there multiple times in different buildings. Of course. To yell at the children.

To yell at the children. To yell at the children. Oh, well, terrifying. I picture because it really is beautiful. In like the most haunted way. Yeah, to be there alone would be a firm pass. OK, bye. Look at this room. This room has literal old timey desks all lined up in the dark

with like a it's like an old school that imagine in the dark with like a Oh fuck that It's like an old school house Imagine in the dark with like the potbelly stove and everything like that would scare the absolute shit out of me Haley with love you have to leave you have to resign Haley it seems like maybe you're actually the only one who can handle this properly like the fact that you went back to read a book three times like I would have not I would have given up on that book a long time ago I don't know how you do it Oh my god

Wow okay well well well we're on our last story and it's from Windsor who wrote she her but I think accidentally wrote sure her which makes me laugh sure her or maybe that's their pronouns I don't know so she her let's see Windsor what a cool name the title by the way of this email is worst sleepover ever. Hello to all my name is Windsor she her okay so it was a typo and I've been listening since episode two and haven't stopped since that's so cool it's funny because I began y'all's podcast as a sophomore in college in 2017 and now I'm in grad school still teheing with you guys anyways I listened to the December listener stories recently one of them reminded me of a nightmarish sleepover experience I had and then forgot about. So please imagine a sleepover birthday party circa 2009ish

where everyone plays pranks on the person who goes to bed first, you all sleep in the living room with your sleeping bags, mine was High School Musical, and you watch a PG-13 rom-com. This is like my dream life. Dream. I know. What movie? Mine's 13 going on 30. That's my gut impulse to watch a PG-13 rom-com. This is like my dream dream. I know what movie mine's 13 going on 30. That's my impulse to sleep over. My would be a Lizzie McGuire movie. That's good. Yeah, it was my friend's 12th birthday.

We were truly having the time of our lives. I remember painting our toenails, doing face masks with cucumber and of course, telling scary stories. I love like you always say, I love girlhood. I love girl. I love girlhood. I love girlhood. I love girlhood. We did that. We don't need to put fucking masks on balloons and shit. We just like scare ourselves silly while getting facials and cucumber masks. You know, it's like, why not? Um, you can do it all, you know? We did the whole lights off, sit in a circle and hold a flashlight to your face to tell our creepy story saying, I basically retold the Stephen King story of Cujo, but said the

rabid dog lived in my neighborhood. Wait, that's genius. You're just like repurposing. That's a good one. And it attacked people, LOL. But guess what? It's like, did you know that that was written about? That's hilarious.

But like Rover over there. But I love that like the kids don't even know, like they wouldn't even know the real, like Kuja. So they're like, wow. I love it. This makes me laugh. Windsor, I like that you knew the story of Kuja though. You're like, I got this one. Yeah, and don't worry everybody, I'm on it.

Yeah, I'm the scary girl in the group. But guess what? Everyone was scared. Anyway, after the first person fell asleep and we put whipped cream on her face, it was finally safe for me to go to sleep as well. I'm not sure how long I was asleep for, but I woke up to my friend, the birthday girl, screaming, not like, oh, my God, I'm having so much fun screaming, but a true fear induced.

Thank you. I like the clarification. Yeah, it's needed. She was crying and screaming for her mom and telling all of us to get up and hurry and hide. I was half asleep, but gathered my sleeping bag and ran to the kitchen. All six of us stood in the kitchen trying to figure out what was going on. The birthday girl in a now hushed tone.

But there was a man in a hoodie looking at us from the front door. Oh, I beg to differ by her. I was hoping this was a ghost thing. And now it's even so much worse. Her front door had side paneling that were windows. So y'all get the visual. Now, I mean, imagine a bunch of girls and you, like one of them wakes up and sees a man.

I mean, this is a horror movie. Now the B-Day girl was known to be dramatic. She would always have crying fits and screaming matches at her sleepovers. So we all kind of thought she was spooked and like made up seeing someone. Her we all kind of thought she was spooked and like made up seeing someone her mom did get up because she heard the screaming and the b-day girl wouldn't calm down and insisted someone was outside her mom finally said okay y'all just all come sleep in my

room so we all shuffled in the room with our sleeping bags and fell asleep flash forward to the morning why isn't mom freaked out more i don't know don't know. We are up and the B-Day girl is still talking about this man and the mom trying to prove a point finally goes outside the front door. Y'all. There was three empty beer cans and a few cigarettes on the ground right next to the front door. Ew, like he was just hanging in there. And he left them there to be like, yeah, I was here.

Like, what the fuck? Oh. The B-Day girl did in fact see a guy peeping in and watching us and he was there for a while considering he drank three beers and spoke several cigarettes. Yuck, I literally got goosebumps typing this. Needless to say, I wasn't allowed to slash didn't want to sleep over at her house.

That's probably why the mom was like, can we not make this a thing at the end of the morning? So much more sense. Yeah. Yeah. But I mean, what do you do? I don't know. I'm not sure if this was long or short, but either way, sorry. I love that. I just apologize no matter what. Love you guys. Met y'all in New Orleans for the book signing.

We're coming back. And guess what? I'm going to see y'all again for this upcoming leg of the tour back in Nola. Kisses from fellow Pisces Windsor. Wow. Very cool. What in the fucking fuck, dude? What a fun prank.

What a silly little thing. Was it bad outside actually? Yeah, he was wearing a clown mask. Oh God. I guess you're right that if you're the mom, you're like, let's not talk about it because it's like, what do you do? And also, it's also like now you're responsible for all these kids, right? So it's like, you kind of have to do something.

But I guess if you really don't believe that it was the real, you're like, I'm not gonna do it. I'm not gonna do it. I'm not gonna do it. I'm not gonna do it. I'm not gonna do it. I'm not gonna do it. I'm not gonna do it. I'm not gonna do it. I'm not gonna do it, let's not talk about it. Cause it's like, what do you do? And also like now you're responsible for all these kids, right? So it's like, you kind of have to do something.

But I guess if you really don't believe that it was real and then you just had a nightmare. What would I've done? I would have fucking batten down the hatches, sat everyone safely somewhere and like, tell me exactly what happened. And then probably call the police. I mean, lock the doors first.

Make sure that I mean, thank God for ring doorbells now, you know, I was going to say that nowadays. Yeah, definitely ring doorbell would have been the thing to do. But I bet this fucking guy, I hope that ruined his plans. The ring, the invention of the ring doorbell, I hope ruined a lot of people's plans because this is so fucking crazy. I try. I hope that he was just like a guy who was like drunk or something and just like but he was carrying around Three cans of beer and also like he had to know there was a sleepover happening like well

He looked in and saw a bunch of little girls. Yeah, but I mean I feel I feel like he knew they were there Also part of me is like did he would he have broken in if the girls weren't there or do you think he was there? I cuz of the girls there because he heard he knew I think it's probably somebody that knew somebody like I think they'd heard there was a sleepover happening and they probably went there and to fucking creep I don't know that's just my gut inclination because how else do you accidentally end up with a pack of with a six pack and no other plans on the front porch of a 12 year old slumber party you know it's just like, yeah feels too

I don't know. I don't know where they were living either because maybe they lived on like a Close to a main street or something and someone just and you could just like wander around. Yeah, that's true I don't know. Sure. Wow creepy. Creepy. Not good. Not good. Lock your doors people Well, that's a nice reminder for the end of this. Happy April, everybody. Can you imagine being the mom, though, and going, see, I'll show you, nothing's there. And then opening the door. Like, what did she do, slam the door?

Like, I don't know. See, I told you as she's kicking the cans away. And calling the police. Oh boy, well, that was a good one. That was a long one, but a good one. I'm actually gonna go see my friend that I haven't seen in ages. She invited me to see a movie today. Nice. a long one, but a good one. I'm actually gonna go see my friend that I haven't seen in ages. She invited me to see a movie today.

Nice. I'm like, okay, sure. Nice. Well, have fun. What are you up to? Walking the dog? Literally my entire day is just this dog. It's exhausting.

Well, welcome to the parenthood of the dogs. It is fucking exhausting. This is why- There's so much work. I mean, but a puppy is so much work, like so much work. I think if we got him a little later in life, he would be the perfect dog. He just, I just, he needs like puppy Adderall or something.

I just want to just, I want to dim his light, Christine. Just a little bit. Oh man, do you want to put a bushel over it? What is wrong with you and you're bushing him? I, he's just a full blast and I am NOT I just want to take a nap all day long. He is 110% yeah We don't have room for that. It took me four days to even recover from this fucking trip. We just did Yeah, this is I like I know I'm not fit for this life. I so I mean it's honestly I'm very

Impressed that you're even making that call like when I I got Gio, I absolutely wasn't fit for it. And I just like fucking did it anyway. And it was horrible. So I applaud you for having like the insight to know that maybe this isn't the best match because I think that's a hard thing to admit to oneself sometimes. I have no problem admitting it. I mean, you don't like adopt the dog and like, you know, but. Well, this is probably a little different, but. I always thought if I'd be watching a dog, like for an extended period of time,

I would have somebody here helping me and. Yeah, no. Oh, well, whatever. I hope I hope Alison's happy. I hope she's enjoying the peace and quiet. She's having a good vacation. Where she's. I don't know. She's hanging out with a newborn, so maybe not.

Maybe there's a lot of crime. Oh, God. Okay. Well, it sounds like both of you are for some reason planting very difficult obstacles in your path to having a relaxing day. But I wish you Godspeed. I'll be at the movies eating Raisin X. I wish you a happy movie.

Thank you. Okay, bye. Oh, my God. It's like you're entering Todd like parent hit. I'm like, oh, I'm an empty nest. It's you're me and I'm you right now. Yeah. Oh, wow. Oh my god, it's like you're entering Todd parenthood. I'm like, oh, I'm an empty nest. It's you're me and I'm you right now. Yeah, oh wow, okay.

All right, well, we'll see everybody later. Write your stories in and see you in May. Bye, and? Oh, oh, oh, that's. Why? Me? Drink.