And That's Why We Drink - Listener Stories: Vol. 104

Episode Date: June 1, 2025

Happy Birthday month to us!! To celebrate we’ve got a batch of super scary listener stories about Massachusetts featuring several haunted college stories, a Febreeze scented ghost, and what may be one of the scariest sleep paralysis demons we’ve ever heard of. Buckle up because it’s a doozy! Thanks to Patron Kristine (she/her) for submitting this month’s topic. And if you need us you can catch us counting all the campus stairs and quitting jobs when they get scary… and that’s why we drink! Photo Links:Phone Call from a Ghost Book___________________Work on your financial goals through Chime today. Open an account in 2 minutes at chime.com/DRINK. For a limited time only, get 35% off plus an additional 50% off your first order when you head to http://smalls.com and use code DRINK. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Just go to this exclusive website address right now to try ZipRecruiter for free at ziprecruiter.com slash drink. Again, that's ziprecruiter.com slash drink. ZipRecruiter, the smartest way to hire. Truck Month is on at Chevrolet. Get 0% financing for up to 72 months on a 2025 Silverado 1500 Custom Blackout or Custom Trail Boss. With Custom Trail Bosses available, class exclusive Duramax 3.0L Diesel Engine and Z71 Off-Road Package with a 2-inch factory suspension lift,

you get both on-road confidence and off-road capability. Dirt road ahead? Let's go! Truck Month is awesome! Ask your Chevrolet dealer for details. Happy birth month to both of us. Wow. It's a special month just for us. Another 12 episodes everyone endured just to get to our birthday. Oh, you poor sweet things.

I can't believe how much you all went through to get here to this special occasion. It means a lot. It means a lot. It doesn't mean a lot. It means a bit. Oh, well, the effort was seen by some kind of. I have very high standards this birthday around. I know. This is your 3-4? Is that how you older turn it? It's the big 3-4, isn't it?

The special 3-4. But what are you doing for your three four? Blaze did something really awesome. He booked us a little cabin and his mom and aunt Lisa are coming down and my brother's flying in. We're gonna go to like a little cabin. He's bad at, he can't, for the life of him, I swear to God on anyone's life, he cannot keep a secret or like keep something to himself,

which we kind of discovered when Leona barged in here yesterday and started screaming about my secret birthday present. So he literally blurted it out. It's like when he came home with the engagement ring, he was still in his scrubs holding Indian food and he had planned this whole hiking trip to propose and he just freaked out and handed me the ring.

He can't, which you did make a good point. It's like a good thing I guess. Certainly for kids. I mean I think it's especially for kids like when like if she goes to like someone's house you know that she's like that keeping a secret. Yes I think also for Blaze because I'm like what are you hiding? Just kidding. He doesn't hide anything because he knows he's bad at it. Unless he's really that good at it and that could be a novel idea. Somebody write that down because I'm gonna write a book about that I'm pretty sure we talked about oh, I'm going every like horror author has covered that at some point like a Sneaky quiet person who has a secret life. Okay. Well, um, you know what sometimes

Maybe not sometimes things need to be redone in a fresh way, you know Yes, you're right. Sorry. Carry on. Okay. Oh yeah, so we're going to a cabin. I'm really excited. And he cleaned my office, which was very nice. That is very nice. Is it completely clean yet or is there still a little bit? It looks pretty damn good. We went in there. Oh, oh my god. Okay, this is going to be the reason I drink in a couple days when we record, so I'm not going to tell the whole thing. But went in there. Oh, oh my god. Okay, this is gonna be the reason I drink in a couple days when we record, so I'm not gonna tell the whole thing. But Leona literally was like,

let's go look for a ghost. And I went, sorry, what? No, there's like a whole thing that I will tell you. Tell everybody in the main episode, because I want it to be in the main episode. But there's a whole journey happening over here that I was not prepared for. Remember when I was like, careful what you wish for, and I said, Leona never talks about ghosts. Well, things have shifted. The tides have turned, as of like today. Is it Harry or is it someone else? I don't know.

She calls him Boo Boo. I swear to God. What is this, an A24 movie? That's horrific. No, she calls him boo boo. I swear to God. What is this an eight twenty four movie? That's horrific. I know. Again, write it down. It could be a novel. I'm telling you, I'm living a horror story right now. So that's good. Yeah.

So happy birthday to me. And Amethy, what do you have planned for your birthday? I got nothing. I this is like my first birthday. I got no plans We have a cabin in Kentucky somewhere if you want to come come ride my stepdad's boat around the way. Oh, thank you so much No, I Allison was gonna come for my birthday, but then it just like, when it comes to like money right now. Were you gonna go to somewhere cool or am I making, oh that was your anniversary. I keep thinking of anniversary.

That's for our anniversary, yeah. Cause I get July 4th, June 4th, June 3rd, anyway. Well yeah, we were thinking about clumping everything together, like my birthday and our anniversary. Just so it's one flight for her. I still don't know if we're gonna do that. My birthday and our anniversary just so it's one flight for her. I still don't know if we're gonna do that. It's the the end of June early July is quite a Big old tumbleweed in my head right now about plants, but for my actual birthday

Yeah, I guess the opposite of what that means, you know tumbleweed usually means nothing I know But I actually do feel like I know what you mean. It's kind of like a sand tornado. Maybe yes. Yes Yes, yeah, you just can't see through. Yeah, it's like chaotic Uh, so yeah, my only birthday plan currently is to Maybe go to the dog park. I think he's the reason I do drink at the beginning of this month Is because mr. Pink guy over here round two, I can't take him to the dog park. He's got pink eyes. So like that means the next week is going to be hell on wheels

because he can't get his energy out. Oh, God. So I'm like really not loving it. But we go to the. That's him, by the way. Hi. Hi. We go to the vet right after this, and it's the first time he's taking his puppy, Trazodone. So I'm very very excited to see what that does to him. Yeah that's supposed to be very helpful with with anxious dogs. So he well the doctor said don't bring him here again unless he's on Trazodone. Oh okay wow this

is doctor's orders. Got it. Yeah yeah this is Mr. Mr. Gwinnishu's orders. So, Mr. Gwinnishu's I fruit up So anyway, we're seeing Mr. Gwinnishu's and so you're a real parent now for your birthday It's like this is you you get it now. This is the first birthday. Well, that's not true I've had a couple really fun birthdays since I had leona, but this is the first one that's like Like a trip like a whole thing. I mean, it's probably my first birthday. That's been a whole like a trip, like a whole thing. I mean, it's probably my first birthday that's been a whole trip in my life. But it's the first one where like Leona's part of it.

Like it's like a family event, you know, cause she's old enough to participate. And we're getting those floaty things for the back of the boat where you like sit in it and then you ride around. Oh, and we're going magnet fishing. She'll go nuts for all that. Do you know what magnet fishing is?

I do know what magnet fishing is and I've never done it and it looks really fun. You know what's not fun though is this deranged pink eyed dog trying to get on the table. He's like fishing? Look at how bad his eye is, it's so sad. Let me see baby. Pinky show your eyes. Look at me buddy. And where'd you get that shirt? Is that our shirt? Yeah. I want that one. Look at his eye. Pinkies come over here. I can't see it. I know. Look. Oh, buddy. It's like he's like it's half closed. He like can't open it. It's like so sad. Oh my gosh, poor baby. Have you put a warm compress on it? Yeah

But no his whole he just keeps doing this every time I look at him his face looks like this. But no, his whole, he just keeps doing this every time I look at him, his face looks like this. Nobody! He like has our little lazy eye, our little drunk eye. Yeah. Yeah. So anyway, hang on, I'm gonna take him outside because otherwise he's gonna just try to climb on the table.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Please stand by, we have to step away. I'm sorry. You are fine. I didn't know what was happening. I couldn't hear you, but I kept hearing you say, Jesus Christ. I had to play dirty on that one. I had to grab him by the collar and drag him, which was not very fun.

Oh no. Yeah, he didn't want to go out. No, he kept... He knew what toys I was using to lure him, and then he would grab them and then run back inside. Got it. He got them. He read between the lines, okay.

Yeah, he is not happy right now, but he'll be fine in an hour when he takes some Tresodone. Okay, anyway. Anyway, where are we? That's why I drink, because he's just gonna be like that for the next week, because I can't take him to the dog park, so. Yeah, that blows, sorry about that.

Well, I hope you get to go for your birthday. Thank you, I hope I get to go as well, just to have a break for a second. Anyway, we have six stories this time. Yeah. And I want to say we are excited because this is the

first one we get to say it was a topic sent in by a patron, Christine, not me, she, her, who submitted the topic of Massachusetts. And so that's that's kind of a fun little twist. We did have a Patreon She Her, who submitted the topic of Massachusetts. And so that's kind of a fun little twist. We did have a Patreon selection today. Yeah, I like the idea of giving people a chance

to submit something interesting in Massachusetts. I feel like there's gotta be a lot of stuff there. I mean, Salem. Yeah, true, true. Our old apartments. Our old apartments, yes. Those, the most haunted things in the world. Did you ever have a ghost at your old place?

One time you literally made this face at me and you went Back then and you were like you don't want to know and I was like what? I do remember feeling I can't remember if it was yours or one of our other friend's apartments But I remember feeling something really fucking weird in one of the and then you like left and were like anyway You have a ghost in your house by which I feel like you do still to this day. I just, I, well, I get weird vibes. I never went to yours, did I? No, and also you, I got the exact same feeling

at my place too, I really thought there was something. I mean, it was a basement to those old ass buildings. So I never like saw or felt anything really, but I was like a little scared. Like I would like, I didn't wanna know. There are some rooms that I just, I just get a weird scared like I would like I didn't want to know you know There are some rooms that I just I just get a weird weird vibe from I remember getting it from someone's apartment in Boston I think it was mine Anyway, glad you're not there anymore now. You're in a new house with a new ghost. Yep

boo-boo I don't even want to say his name three times because I feel like I actually feel like we have to stop we must stop Do you want to do the honors? Oh, I would love to this is number one. This is Called you mass is haunted af Okay, is you mass? I know you musta Is it I know like you mess Amherst? Oh, that's right listen it Is it? I know like UMass Amherst. Oh, that's right. Listen, they're making it too complicated.

It says it has six different, okay, forget it. I'm over it. Okay, Ali. At least one of the six. One of those probably, or a satellite campus. Who the hell knows? Ali, I'm sorry I'm yelling at you. Ali uses they, them pronouns.

Thank you, Ali, for submitting this. It's called UMass's Haunted AF and it goes as follows. Dear Christine M. Eva, Associated Significant Others. That's really good for like the longevity of the show, right? Like 20 years we'll all be mixed up. Who knows? Who knows? Me and Blaze, you know. You never know. That's exactly what I was picturing too. Just like swap them around, you know? Yeah. Spice things up. Dear Christine M. Eva, associated significant others, babies, both fur and human and petrified citrus. So I went to college at University of Massachusetts,

Dartmouth, well, I could have waited literally five seconds, but no. I went to college at University of Massachusetts, Dartmouth, and that campus is haunted as fuck. There's a lot of urban legends such as the school was built by a Satanist. To be fair, all the benches around the school say 666. I'll include a picture.

Why? The original buildings form a pentagram and there's a rumor there are 666 external steps on campus, but I never counted. The way I would have wandered around counting these fucking steps. That would have been my first Saturday on campus. You and I would have wandered around counting these fucking steps. That would have been my first Saturday on campus. You and I would have met in the middle, like.

You know how beyond pissed I'd be if I lost count? Can you imagine we both run into each other going 642? And then we, wait, shit, I was counting, you messed me up. And then we have to start all over. You have to like scratch them off as you go or something. Cause what if you think like, what if someone says like, oh, did you get that random corridor? And you're like, I don't know, I don't remember.

You really got to leave a little, I don't know what though. Like I don't want you to litter, but yeah, you got to leave a mark on it somehow. I feel like here's what you do. This is easy. You get 666 friends and then you make each of them stand on a step.

And then you walk around campus and see if you can find any other steps. Fill everybody and everybody has a number, but you have to remember, oh no, but then everyone, then you have to count all the people. No, no, no, you give everyone a number first. Okay. Make each of them pick a stair. And then when all 666 say we're on a step,

if you walk around and see another empty step, you know there's- I see. Or if those people say, I can't find any more steps, then you know that there's less than six steps. What if 436 is in the bathroom again? Well, okay. Then we've got a problem. Look, I'll think about it.

We need a new friend is what that means. Okay, sorry, Ali. Let's see. I can't believe you never counted the stairs, Ali, first of all. Em and I already have a huge plan with all our six hundred and sixty four friends. 100 percent. There are corridors that lead into walls, staircases that just go up into the

ceiling and everything is just sad gray. We made the news. Oh, my God. For a missing student known as Neo Maximus. And again, because one of the Boston Marathon bombers attended here. What in the fuck? That's a lot. This is bad vibe. Talk about going into a room with bad vibes.

I feel like I would go onto that campus and go, you don't want to know. And then just walk away. Yeah, you would and then you would just fucking walk away and leave everyone. Well guess what? My freshman dorm was really bad, it says. For whatever reason, my suite was always empty. I never saw anyone in the bathrooms or in the hallway. What the fuck, so you were alone in there?

That's like, you'd think that'd be good. Was that an abandoned building that you accidentally got access to? Sounds like you were alone. Maybe they just ran out of rooms and they were like, go in there and find a bed. That's so weird. I never saw anyone in the bathrooms or in the hallways once I got to my third floor room.

I had a roommate, but after a few weeks, she met a guy and basically moved in with him. I had a wardrobe that used to rattle at night. There was a mirror attached to the inside of one of the doors. I hate mirrors, and always have, so I kept that door closed all the time. One night, desperate to stop the rattling, I opened the doors and it did stop. I tried closing just the door with the mirror on it and it would start again. Since I know I was the only one on my floor, I usually didn't lock my door at night. Incredibly stupid, I know, but sometimes if my cousin was on campus late,

she'd come over and crash. Listen, we've all been there. I get it. I'm sure I didn't lock my door as often as I should have. My door started opening in the night. Uh-oh. At first I assume, it's not the cousin, I guess, I'm assuming here.

At first I assume maybe the wind had blown it open, but it was incredibly heavy metal door. It also didn't open the wind had blown it open, but it was an incredibly heavy metal door. It also didn't open and shut. It was made so that it automatically shut unless, oh, ew, so it was like being held open. Yeah, forget it. No thanks.

I saw a shadow standing in the doorway staring at my bed. After a while of, and then it's like, hey cuz, I'm drunk. Can you help me? I just threw up in my hair. Mr. Quidditches, I fruit up. Mr. Quidditches, I'm drunk. Can you help me? I just threw up in my hair. Mr. Gluttershoot's a fruit up. Mr. Gluttershoot's is me. It's actually just Hank at the door being like, help me. Yeah, who knew it was just my sleep paralysis demon

was Hank throwing up on Mr. Gluttershoot. After a while of pretending to be asleep, the door slowly closed, oh God. Oh my gosh. This happened every time I didn't lock my door at night. The worst building on campus is the art building. The walls leak even when there is no rain or snow. I have I know of no What? Like they're crying? Oh, and it's blood. Wait, what?

I know of no students who will be in there alone at night. I couldn't even sit in there with friends. It was so creepy. One night I was sitting outside of it studying under one of the lights because of a bad roommate situation. I could see a shadow standing at the door, very obviously watching me and my friend. I assumed it was a student or janitor, but my friend after about 10 minutes insisted we move.

When I asked why, she shook her head. And only after we couldn't see the door anymore did she say it was because of the shadow person watching from the doorway. Okay, Leona, relax. Right? It's just my friend. It's just Mr. Boo Boo. It's just Mr. Boo Boo. That's horrible. We said it again. We promised we wouldn't say it again. We both fucking said it again and we gave him a title. I mean, what are we thinking? She was a very scientific minded person and I had never heard her mention even believing in anything paranormal before. This sounds like Leona all over again.

Okay, this is the last two paragraphs here. The scariest single incident happened when I was living in the campus apartments. One night I had a series of bad dreams. I was getting hurt, my animals were getting hurt and I woke up feeling sick. I left my room to go to the bathroom and the whole time all I could think about was that scene from the Lord of

The Rings when the ringwraiths are stabbing the empty beds the hobbits are supposed to be sleeping in that's my nightmare What I don't know what that is I'm I must have seen it at some point, but I do remember as a kid being so scared that someone would stick a knife up my mattress Well, it's not officially I what is today for me? Oh, OK. It was like one of my childhood fears. I must have heard it in like a campfire story or something. I don't know. I think you saw it in Nightmare on Elm Street, maybe because that was like

a thing that happens. Oh, I mean, I've certainly never seen that film, but I've probably seen like the clip or the concept of it or something because it like is still to this day one of my weird like middle of the night that's like when i'm if i ever um like this yes i'm it's always at my exposed wrists or like if i sleep like this on your neck i know my neck yeah i have to cover my neck too yeah yeah anyway okay i was freaked out and spent okay so the knife thing so So, okay, terrible dreams, wakes up, goes to the bathroom. They are thinking, they're thinking, hey, you remember that time

those ringwraiths stabbed all the beds? I was freaked out and spent 10 minutes just sitting there in the comforting light of the bathroom. Eventually I tucked myself into going back to bed. As soon as I got back into my bed, my door started to slam. No. This wasn't completely unusual as it frequently rattled since it was loose in its frame and I slept with the window open. Again, I never locked my door started to slam. No. This wasn't completely unusual as it frequently rattled since it was loose in its frame

and I slept with the window open. Again, I never locked my door. This time not stupid as our apartment door was locked and I knew and liked all my roommates. This wasn't the rattling though, this sounded like something huge pounding on the door. Something told me to get up and lock my door so I did. As soon as it was locked,

I saw the handle start to move and rattle. Shut up. I quickly got into bed and then the banging resumed. I spent the rest of the night trying not to be afraid because I know fear gives power. Yeah, that's the ultimate like, catch-22. Like, don't be afraid, that'll make it worse. Like, what? I'm just like, I'm not... As like tears are streaming down my face, I'm like, I'm not afraid of you!

I'm not scared at all! I tried to write it off, but the next day the roommate I was with, or I was the least close with, I'm not scared at all. I tried to write it off, but the next day, the roommate I was with, or I was the least close with, came to visit me at work. She asked if I was okay, because when she had gone to bed the night before, she looked down the hallway, and the hallway outside my room had been black. Not dark, but black.

The kitchen light had been on, and she said it was almost like something was sucking the light out of the room. And she wanted her prayer group to come over. I said sure I like this ring them on down, please I'll make cookies come on. I said sure I'm not religious and she knew which is why she asked for permission But I still went home for the weekend. So hopefully whatever it was would lose track of me. Thankfully I have not had problems since the end That's so weird that you didn't have problems after that, because I would think that's the beginning of the end, not the end of it.

It feels like the beginning of the like final act, like or the second act, like, oh, the prayer group came over and now everything's like. But maybe that's too too. Maybe that's too story like maybe. Maybe you've escaped unscathed. Maybe, but also like, who the hell is that prayer group? Cause they need to like be on a hotline. Cause maybe they are, maybe they're like the UMass,

maybe that's why they thrive at UMass Dartmouth. Like because it was just the spot where all the cleansings need to happen. The strongest religious groups are at Dartmouth because you need them. Well with a 666 stairs, somebody has to be religious. I feel like as like someone in their prayer group, someone's scared of being on those stairs.

Or like, what if you had every stair before you graduate? What does it mean? Do you unlock something? I don't know. That feels like my OCD would immediately latch onto that though. Catch me counting the stairs again. We've got 666 stairs and also being ripped apart

from the inside through my mattress. Okay, got it. All right. With a big, big blade. mattress. OK, got it. All right. Big, big blade. Oh, right. Sorry. Big, big right. Yeah, I heard I heard some big news that when I was ill, Juniper and Moonshine took over the ad, the Smalls advertisement campaign. Is that correct, Em? That is I they sent me a text and they said, don't even worry about doing the ads, I got it.

Okay, well apparently they have a lot to say and I can confirm because they're obsessed with this stuff. We got the Smalls box in the other day and if you haven't heard of it, Smalls cat food is protein packed recipes made with preservative free ingredients you'd find in your fridge and it's delivered right to your door.

And that's why cats.com named Smalls their best overall cat food. And I think Juniper was on the jury of that as well because he really won't leave me alone now, just like Gio. It's like, what have I done to myself? 88% of cat owners reported overall health improvements, which is obviously a big deal. And the team at Smalls is so confident

that your cat will love their product that you can try it risk-free. And that means they'll refund you if your cat won't eat their food. That's like such a ringing endorsement. For a limited time only because you are an in that's why we drink listener, you can get 35% off Smalls plus an additional 50% off your first order by using my code drink, our code drink. Sorry.

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So let's see. This next one is from Tori, who's a she her pronouns. Thank you for normalizing pronouns. And the subject line, I told you Salem, Salem Febreze ghost. Febreze, okay. Love that. Okay Says hello. I'm Christine and Eva I wanted to write it and tell you all about a spooky thing that happened to me while in Salem I was born and raised in Massachusetts

So that meant multiple elementary school field trips to Salem plus I know but I also imagine like being Someone from Massachusetts. It's like me going to the White House. That sounds dope, but as someone who had to go every year, I'm like, please fucking never make me go again. It's like how everyone in Southern California gets on their senior trip to go to Disney with the whole class and stuff. And I was always like, that's crazy.

And I'm like, that sounds like a pain in the ass. I actually, I'm jealous of my mom because she had that where she got to graduate and then had a Disney day. But Disney shut down for the high school back. Oh, and she was in Florida, right? So like that's the world. That's crazy. That's so cool. That would be the dream trip.

I'm using part by themselves. That was. Yeah, that's the dream. I just found pictures of it recently and I was like, were you in Disney alone? What happened? That's so not fair. But I have to go to the fucking White House one more time. I know, right. And they don't shut that shit down for me Can they shut the Salem down for us? Cuz that would be my dream just not shut it down

But just like keep it incredibly open but get everyone else out there. What about you? What was your like big thing every year and Cincinnati? Trying to remember what we did. We did a lot of random shit like the gem trip We drove to North Carolina and like panned for gold Sounds cool. Normal that was pretty cool. And then we had we would go to serpent mound which was my favorite which are like the effigy mounds made by the the tribes up here and Those were always just so cool to me and

I mean we went to DC in eighth grade because it's only like an eight hour drive. Philly in eighth grade. Oh, cool. Yeah, we didn't go to Philly. I think that was a little too far for my Catholic school to be bringing a bunch of kids in uniform, clad uniforms to Philly.

We were the like beta testing year. Like we were the first one where they ever tried it with. And so any mistakes that they made on our trip officially don't happen anymore. But I guess now every year when you are an eighth grader, as a congrats, you're about to go into high school, they were trusting you with responsibility. That's the whole moral of it.

It's like, we're going to take you on a big overnight group trip. To Philly? To a town. Ours was was oh, oh, I see um And I remember like people like snuck out of the hotel rooms and alcohol and everyone was like 13 We were children grade. We were such a bit. I was well, I mean at least I was such a baby I remember we were like telling ghost stories and eating twizzlers and we got in trouble for being up too late

Like that's what I was doing I remember throwing like playing baseball in our hotel room and like just hearing the thought of the baseball hit the wall. And I remember my math teacher walked over and she had on it was just like one of those moments where you were like seeing a teacher out of school, but she's also in her bathrobe and she had this silk bathrobe and matching eye mask and it was all leopard print, like faux fur. And we were just like, What did she miss Hannigan?

I mean we were stunned we were like are we seeing this? Are we all seeing this? So it was a highlight of the trip for sure. Beautiful. Well it was because the toilet flooded so that was the problem but anyway. Anyway Tori went to Salem. Oh right sorry can we go back to that? Yeah. Many multiple elementary school field trips to Salem, plus I perform in a monthly shadow cast

of Rocky Horror Picture Show in the Witch City Mall. Oh my God, that's so cool. What? That's awesome. I am no stranger to Salem, but this was my first personal paranormal experience. This past weekend was my birthday, happy birthday, and my long distance girlfriend

was visiting from Cincinnati. And when I finally figured out what I wanted to do, I booked us a room at the haunted Hawthorne Hotel. Isn't that where we stayed? That is where I booked us. Am I your girlfriend? Yeah, hang on a second. I'm confused, Tori.

Who's Tori, Christine? You wanna tell us? Okay. I always wanted to spend the night at this hotel and hope that something spooky would happen Who's Tori? Who's Tori, Christine? You wanna tell us? That's what I'm here for in this. Okay. I always wanted to spend the night at this hotel and hope that something spooky would happen while we were there. Rumor has it that three and six

are the most haunted floors. Yeah, we stayed. I remember being on three? I think we were on three or two. I remember climbing a bunch of fucking stairs with our tour equipment. Well, I do remember that too, and I remember going, oopsie,

and then everyone was like, classic Christine, booking a haunted place with no elevator. Yeah. It seems to be your favorite thing to do. There was one creepy thing that happened while we were there, and it was somebody knocked on my door, like really loudly.

And I assumed it was you or Eva. So I went and like whipped open the door and there was nobody there. And I remember like immediately texting and being like, where is everyone? Like right now. And Eva was upstairs, you were out. That was like, I remember that being like, where is everyone? Like right now. And Evo was upstairs, you were out. That was a like, I remember that being like very jarring, but that was the only thing. I slept with the bathroom light on. I was really freaked out. I slept with all the lights on. Yeah, yeah, you did

too. Anytime you tell me we're staying in a hotel that's haunted, I know I'm sleeping with all the lights on. Oh no, well, okay. I didn't realize I caused you so much turmoil. I fell asleep eventually. Okay. With enough TikTok, anything's possible. Oh didn't realize I caused you so much turmoil. I fell asleep eventually. Okay. With enough TikTok, anything's possible. Oh, yeah, that's what they say. So rumor has it three and six are the most haunted floors. We ended up on five. However, we were across the hall

from one of the most haunted room numbers, just one floor down, so I'll take it. So they were like caddy corner. Oh, I see. So they're like proximity-wise pretty close. Yeah. While my girlfriend was in the shower before checkout, I went down to the lobby to get her a cup of coffee.

And as soon as I opened our hotel room door, I was hit with a very nice but strong smell. I saw the maid's cart to my left and figured they had just febreezed the hallway or something. When I get in the elevator, there wasn't an elevator when we were there. This has to be a different hotel. Why'd you be like a completely fucking different hotel?

That's embarrassing. Or there was always an elevator. Or there was an elevator, which actually is probably worse. That would be worse on me. That would be worse on me, because I have a feeling that's what happened here. That would make, I'm really not happy. Oh no, this is not where we stayed.

We stayed at, because this is like a bigger hotel. We stayed at like a small house. Was it the, It's that haunted building. Oh, that one? Shut up. In Salem?

Type in that haunted building in Salem into a house. I did. The Joshua Ward house? Yeah, that's what I said. I told you it worked. Fun fact, no elevator there, everyone. Fun fact, no elevator, but they did have really cool decor and somebody knocked on the door really loud while I was in there. And they have an excellent bathroom light that stays on all night. That's exactly true and you

know what? That's just priceless. So okay we're at a different one. Sorry we're at a different fucking hotel. Hawthorne hotel with an elevator. When I get in the elevator the smell is just as strong as it was outside and I finally figured out what the smell was. It was apples. I like the smell of apples. Oh, that's specific. When I got off the elevator, I got the coffee and it took less than a minute. When I got inside the elevator again, the smell was gone.

When I got off at our floor, the smell was totally gone too. It was too strong of a scent and too short of a trip for it to have dissipated that quickly. On the land where the Hawthorne Hotel was built once was an apple orchard of... The apple orchard of Bridget Bishop. Sounds like an old Massachusetts name. That Bridget Bishop was... She was famous. Was the first person to be tried for the crime of witchcraft

and was found guilty and hanged on June 10th, 1962 Oh my god, 1962 that has to be 1662 1692 actually 1692. Yeah, I was like, hang on. That was when my mom was born. Hang on. Oh my god Yeah, that's when everything changed So it's 1692, okay Apparently smelling apples throughout the hotel is something common that happens and once I figured out that I was smelling apples in the elevator So it's 1692. Okay. 1692. Apparently smelling apples throughout the hotel is something common that happens. And once I figured out that I was smelling apples in the elevator, I was shook.

When we left our room, my girlfriend checked the maid's cart and neither of the Fabbri's scents were apple. I'm glad that you checked because I would have been skeptical. Hope you have the best day. Stay spooky and come visit Salem again because we've already got that. Love to. I would love to. That's creepy.

The apple set is so specific too. Like when you smell something apple scented, you know it's apple. And it makes me, this is like me overthinking it, but in my mind I'm like, if you're from 1692, or 1962, and like maybe the, like, your perfume would just be like a bunch of fruit rubbed on you probably, right? That's true too.

So maybe she just rolled around in apples back in the day. I don't know. Maybe. Or maybe the land was the site of an apple orchard. Oh damn, maybe that one too. That would have been a place where we have a machine called the Ovilus. Okay, I was literally hoping you'd bring that up. No, you say it. You say it fast. We have this fucking thing that talks in this creepy Microsoft... It goes like,

Hello, Dictionary Mode. And it talks in this creepy Microsoft Sam voice. But it spits out these words and it has this dictionary. But for some reason, every time we use it, it goes like, Apple, Orchard. It always says Apple in Orchard. Always. Always. And if we had not looked up this hotel, we probably would have assumed this is where we stayed, and we would have probably made some big story about it. But it's not where we stayed. And

You know what's wild is we if we brought that machine to the Hawthorne Hotel and it said Apple Orchard, we would have been like, oh, this thing's broken again. Oh, yeah, it's broken. Right. We wouldn't have even known. We would have been like, oh, man. And then we wouldn't have known we got a real ghost anyway okay thank you anyway this is from Lauren Sheher it's called haunted book no wonder M hates to read that's the whole subject i'm gonna sit with that and see where we go from here yeah maybe i've had some Maybe I've had some new insight. You're probably onto something. I'm gonna hear you out. I'm gonna hear you out. Hello, friends.

I apologize for the lack of quirky intro, but I'm writing on my phone while desperately avoiding work. Nailed it. That's great. Picture it. Fall River, Massachusetts. This is nothing to do with Lizzie Borden. She's not the only ghost up in this place, although arguably the most interesting.

Many, many, many years ago, two adorable preteen girls were excitedly scouring the Scholastic Book Order form from school for all the dream, for any books on ghosts. Oh my gosh. See, that's where I would have thrived in the book world. Big time. Well, here you go, success. They found one and ordered it immediately.

So I'm assuming that this is Lauren talking about herself as a preteen. They found one and ordered it immediately. And by immediately, I mean, they waited the eternity that it took for these book orders to come into school. I hated that wait. When finally they received their book titled Phone Call from a Ghost, they sat together in a dimly lit room and took turns reading the chapters of true ghost stories aloud. When spooky time was over, they went to bed. Later that night, one of them, me, couldn't sleep and grabbed the book for something to occupy her time. She thumbed through the pages and noticed that chapter 10 was in there twice. She didn't remember it being like that, but she woke her pal up for confirmation. Her friend sleepily

confirmed that she didn't believe it was like that and then drifted back off to sleep. I dismissed it as a printing mistake. Those books were cheap after all and went back to sleep. The next day, this girl took her book home and decided to reread chapter 10 to see what it was about. Because it was in there twice, maybe it was twice as interesting, she joked to herself. I'm always cracking myself up like that.

It's hysterical. Like, I love your commentary on your... I love it. But when she got to the page, Chapter 10 wasn't in there at all. Eww. So it was there twice and then zero? Yeah. I hate that.

So wait, you conjured up a story and then just copy and pasted it? That's kind of like lazy thinking, isn't it? You know, conjured up a story. What if you created a story that doesn't exist anymore in there? Or do you think it was a story that someone else wrote? Oh, I assumed that in my mind, I would think that I had come up with a completely fake story and then it was like reappearing as if I was dreaming it. Like it. Oh. Like almost like I was creating lorem ipsum. Like

it was just a bunch of additional text for no reason in this book. Oh, I see. Like in your sleep? I guess so. I would have I would have tripped myself up and thought I was coming up with it in my own head. But so for the first one it was that the chapter 10 was in there two times, right? It was in there twice and then it was zero, but I would have thought in my own head like I clearly came up with the extra chapters. But why would it skip from 9 to 11? I don't know. Do you know what I mean? Like to have a whole chapter missing is also very weird. To see it twice is weird, double printed, and then to see it not at all?

I'm telling you, I would sit there for hours and I'm so confused. This is like mind-boggling I no matter what happens. I would still I would wonder about every scenario that could have happened me, too Yeah, my brain hurts. Honestly, it says what the actual fuck chapter 10 was not in there at all She immediately called her pal to come over because they lived in the same building and explained what happened. She threw the book at her and demanded she look and the lack of chapter that had once been doubled. Her face, sorry, her friend's face turned white. Chapter 10 was back.

It was now there only once and chapter 13 was now in there twice, but it had moved to before chapter 10. This is like that coloring book that changes from like no lines to like blank to colored. You know what I mean? Oh, where you, yeah. Where like it jumps around the pages totally to like switch themselves.

Oh my gosh. That's, I would honestly burn the book. I would be like- My head is like, I can't. And the fact that it's a book about ghosts A phone call from a ghost is so fun. Like I would this is a kid as a kid. This is my dream though Like a haunted book. This is my dream. I would read every day if this happened to me No, I I totally get now why the um subject line was defending me not wanting to read

I would never touch that book again. No, I get it, I get it. I would gift it to my worst enemy. Okay, well, apparently she, as in me, it says, shouted, you take it, and threw it at her friend. Good, good. Her worst enemy, I mean her friend. She said, I clearly cannot handle this book, so her pal reluctantly took the book and hid it at the bottom of her closet.

That would be me. I would be like, I'll take it, and then I would get scared and hide in my closet I feel like that I feel like wherever it is like let's say you put it in that closet for the rest of time like you Hear banging on that. Yeah, something weird would happen like scratching noises or something I hate this the next day when getting dressed is not even over yet The next day when getting dressed the girl me opened her drawer to get a pair of socks and the book So I don't I don't even want get a pair of socks and the book was laying

on the top of her sock drawer. The girl was furious and thought her friend was playing a cruel joke on her and snuck downstairs and slipped the book into her room when she wasn't there. She stormed upstairs with the book in her hand and was about to yell at her friend, but her friend saw the book in her hand and was visibly shocked. She ran to her closet and found it wasn't there. The girls had enough. Something about this book just felt wrong. Yeah. Yeah girl. Which is insane because it came from a weekly book order from school, Catholic school nonetheless. They tried ripping out the pages. They would come back. Eventually the book had to be burned and the activity stopped.

Like come on. Okay, listen to this. Recently I looked it up and can get a copy on Amazon. I'm tempted to buy it and see what happens, but also eek! And then of course linked it. Thanks for being you. Much love Lauren. And it says does this submission look like spam? And I'm gonna say report now. Yeah. Report the whole thing. Okay, I got the book. I'm gonna it's oh and the pictures so creepy I actually do remember this book from back in the day. I mean, that's a that's a great thing that they just mentioned at the End there of like it was Bye. I love you Where are you going the trampoline park have fun

Where are you going the trampoline park have fun You can give me one hug, but I really got a record okay Take your shoes off, baby have to take your shoes off you don't want to be dirty in the bed that's really a good point I can't argue with that okay daddy's gonna love having to put the shoes back on. That'll be really fun. Come on. Come in. You got to commit to the bit girl. Here, I'll give you a... Hi, Leona.

Hi, Leona. How are you? You're going to go to the trampoline park. You're going to jump around? Yeah. Are you going to jump really, really high? Yeah. Are you going to jump...

How far are you going to jump, you think? Really far? Yeah. Wow. I'm so jealous of you. Are you going to go with daddy? Yeah. What are you...

Are you going to have... Hmm. Are you going to eat something later, too? Are you going to have lunch or dinner later? What are you going to have, hmm, are you going to eat something later too? Are you going to have lunch or dinner later? What are you going to eat? I want to have snacks at the trampoline park. What kind of snacks? You got chips or candy? They got goldfish and peanut butter crackers and animal crackers. I yawned.

Wow, peanut butter crackers are some of my favorites. I hope you eat some of those. They don't have cotton candy? Popcorn? Gummies. Gummies. I love gummies. You can have some gummy bears maybe?

They don't have gummies. Only gum Mmm. I love gummies. You gonna have some gummy bears maybe? I don't have gummies. Only gummies. I see. I see. I see. Well, I hope you have fun. Goodbye. Goodbye.

Bye. Peace. Daddy's coming. She's in trouble. She told Blaze she was going potty. Maybe she can't keep a secret. She left her shoes down there too. Because she can't get into bed without shoes, Blaze. The sigh was crazy.

The sigh is the normal language we speak nowadays. We've stopped saying everything okay, because the answer is usually no. Okay, sorry. Blaze is like, are you okay in there? And then he's like, where are you? And then I heard him coming up the stairs and I went, bye. Got to go. Got a blast. Sorry. OK, so I sent you this picture, a phone call from a ghost. Yeah, it's I remember this picture. I remember seeing that book and also weirdly not wanting it.

Like, I was scared of it. I remember being genuinely scared of it. So if you're listening it has a skeletal grandma, like a skeleton of a grandma with like a pond, what are these called? A shawl? A shawl. And she's like dialing a rotary phone. It's like grandma like hung out by the phone for too long and is now dead. Yeah, it's sort of Bates Motel vibes, you know. You know, there's something to be said. I hope if anyone out there is listening and knows about where I could find information on this, there's got to be a study done on

why in the 80s and 90s, the children's books were like not afraid to terrify you. Well, because I think even before that, they were even more traumatizing, right? Like, before that it was like- It's like spillover from like, shrewpita or something. Right, exactly. Like before that it was like, hey, all your fingers will be cut off if you if you snore at night. And it was like spillover from like true Peter or right exactly like before that it was like hey All your fingers will be cut off if you if you snore at night, and it's like well What the fuck it feels like they're like let's make it more kid-friendly and then they came up with this shit I wonder what the shift was then because I feel like if you saw this book today in a store nobody would buy it Oh children would want it. I'm looking here in the

reviews oh My gosh, okay. Johnny says I know these types of books are for kids, but it was creepy and I'm looking here in the reviews. Oh my gosh. Okay. Johnny says I know these types of books are for kids But it was creepy and I'm an adult Mm-hmm So, okay. I mean listen people say they still like it, but I don't think we need to test it out No, I'm happy. I'm very excited that you guys burned it. Thank you I feel like witchcraft wise maybe that's not the right thing to do, but it seemed to work for you guys in that moment. Yeah, and you kind of called it in the beginning, so it feels like you were all on the same page about what to do.

I had a hunch. Well, thank you for that. The next story we have is from Adeline who uses any pronouns a triple threat. Hey, hey! And the, I love this, the subject line is Frankenstein's furry tried to kill me. What I can't even begin to tell you what could that mean? What could that possibly mean? Adeline says, Hey, Eva, Christine M and everyone I've been a listener since the very beginning and my dad actually

introduced me to you guys. Can you imagine someone's dad listening to us? That's crazy. From the beginning? No. Well, hi, Adeline's dad. Oh, hi, Mr. Adeline. Mr. A. You may not want to hear this. Great. Great way to start this. But that means I was 12 when I started listening to you. Forget it. You said you don't want to hear it. You were correct the first time. By the way, I got recognized last time I was home and someone said, I've been listening to you since I was 10. And I literally cried the next day.

That's the kid who buys this fucking book with dead grandma on the front. Like they have issues. Every time I get recognized by someone who is obviously younger than us, I'm like, what are you about to say to me? I'm like, I am about to feel so old. My hair is about to turn gray in front of your very eyes. But they said I've been listening since I was 10 I was like I'm geriatric. This is crazy.

I am an elderly person. I'm a senior citizen. Uh anyway like I like to know that our show spans all ages. Yeah I mean listen I know something's wrong I said something's wrong with them obviously but something's wrong with all of us. So they're just coming here early. Well, Adeline says, yeah, they've been listening since they were 12, yikes. I've always appreciated how funny you guys are.

Yeah, say more things like that, Adeline. And how open- When you were 10. And how open you are talking about mental health and gender identity queerness. The podcast has definitely been a huge safe space for me. I'm 19 now. Oh my god. Wow.

It's like half your life. Oh my god. But I'm so proud all of a sudden. I'm like, oh, we've been with you this whole time. Very sweet. Some context for the story is I work at a raw dairy and farm store in rural Massachusetts. I love that. Holy shit.

Okay. My regular shift is weekend mornings milking cows and the bottling the milk for sale. I love that. This is usually six a.m. to two p.m. But every once in a while I pick up an evening shift. Those shifts don't include bottling. So they are much shorter and usually go from five to seven or eight. Okay, good context. Thank you. So one particular night I was... sorry. I was... It's like the ghosts still want me to tell the story.

So one particular night I was covering someone and working a night shift and I had gotten to work around five and started my regular chores of sanitizing all the equipment and so forth. It was a night in late fall so the sun was going down about the time I was heading out to bring the cows down for the milking. I wasn't a fan of that. Same. Yeah, me too.

I've done all sorts of labor like that. We've all been there. I wasn't a fan of that as it meant all my cleanup chores, I had to do all my cleanup chores and my walk back out to close the cows into their segment of the pasture would be completely in the dark. No. And lucky for me, that night the pasture would be completely in the dark. No. And lucky for me,

that night the pasture was all the way at the end of the road across another street. So fast forward through the milking, I let the last cow out of the milk parlor. Love that it's called a milk parlor. Hello, I love this. That's where I should be every time I'm chugging my cup of cow moo juice, you know what I'm saying? First of all, I banned that phrase many, many years ago. And secondly, you can call it whatever the hell you want, as long as you stop saying moo juice. I'm just saying, if I ever had a bar and chocolate milk was on the menu,

it would be called the milk parlor. Or an ice cream place, called the milk parlor. That's great. I mean, it's pretty good. I let the last cow out of the milk parlor and follow them and follow them up to say good night. That's precious. Once I secured the pasture gate, I walked down the farm road by myself. Of course, the headlamp I brought had died and the phone.

My phone flashlight wasn't doing anything in that messy New England night. So I was basically walking blind back to the barn. I'm always a little on edge walking at night, but it's open fields and my boss lives right on the land if I have an emergency. So I'm not technically alone, but the farm store was closed at this point and I was really the only person there. So you are technically alone. So technically, technically you're not alone, but technically you're really fucking alone. Very alone.

Anyway, I'm walking, usually listening to your podcast in my headphones. Well, duh, that's half the problem. You're 12 and you're listening to our show, walking through the dark after a day of child labor. What are you, a child bride? Yeah. What's happening? But this time I had a bad feeling

and I took my headphones off and just started listening to my surroundings. Fuck me, okay. I felt like I could feel someone behind me. I picked up some speed, started moving quicker and all of a sudden I hear hear someone behind me. Oh fuck So is this it? I can't all right. I ran when I tell you I don't run. I mean that but I ran like hell I'm pretty sure I was actually listening to the goat man episode before I turned my headphones off

And I was not about to play with that thing No, so I get back to the barn and I have to finish cleaning up I felt a little better being inside so I start to relax a bit and I finished cleaning the better being inside, so I start to relax a bit. And I finished cleaning the milking parlour. So I turn off the lights first mistake and head to the washroom to clean the rest of the equipment. My headphones are back on. And then that's why we drink is playing. But then I hear a moo. And I'm thinking, what the fuck did I really leave a cow out in the pasture? Is that what I ran away from? So I go back out to check and the light switches are sort of far from the door. So I decided to use my phone flashlight. I look everywhere and anywhere that the cows could get into.

And I checked the gate to make sure that she didn't escape the property. But I see nothing. What? I'm like, OK, weird. But I went to check. But I went to finish washing up. And as I step out of the washroom to go back and recount the cows and that far away as fuck pasture, I hear another moo.

No! I'm like kind of terrified that this feels like, like humans can lick too. Agreed! This feels like a man is mooing. After talking about Scholastic Book Fair, knives coming through the mattress, I feel like I'm in that child state of like,

this campfire tale is not gonna end in a cute way. Like I'm gonna have nightmares tonight This time it sounded like a person imitating a cow. Yep. Forget it. This is actually so bad. So bad I use my flashlight again and check my surroundings bolt for the light switch as I was and as I was reaching my hand out I hear a scream and felt someone grabbed my wrist Know how you ever listened to our dumb podcast ever again. I would have thrown our podcast into the trash.

It simply must be your goodbye letter to us. Goodbye. I literally almost shit my pants, I was so startled. I ran back into the washroom, grabbed my keys, ran to the car and drove my ass to the other street to count the cows. You're still working? Wait, you didn't know who grabbed you?

It just- No, just felt someone grab her wrist and she bolted. What the fuck? I get there, park and see all the cows are where they need to be. Then before I head back to my car, I see a fucking man. Like a shadow figure dude just chilling in the middle of the pasture, which you really can't get into any other way besides the gate unless you're crawling under or somehow over the pretty tall and very strong electric fence.

Oh, okay. This really seriously, I know we already said horror movie tropes. We've covered them. This is a good horror movie trope. This guy crawls under the electric fence. Yeah, yeah. Write that down, Eva. And honestly, before the electric fence sentence, I was thinking like, maybe this guy is like

just moving at cows. You know, like when you see like a horse or like you're like, nay, nay. Oh, yeah. Fuck. You know, like if you were to see an animal, like maybe you would like approach it. Like if you saw a cat in the street, go, kitty. You know, like that. Maybe someone like saw the cows was going like, oh, is a cow. I don't know. I'm trying to come up with something.

Yeah. And then I was like, oh, I grabbed your arm because I thought you were a cow. Yeah. All of a sudden, it's not. And then I crawled under the electric fence. And also, yeah, electric fence is really what sealed it for me, because like, you know, no one cares that much about moving out of a cow. Yeah. Why are you doing this? I've seen enough horror movies to know that I shouldn't have said anything, but I've also seen enough horror movies to know that people are idiots.

So I said something like an idiot. I said, hello, boss, is that you? No answer, but it moves closer to me. No, woo, woo, woo, woo. Would you have said something? Just truly no. I wouldn't be fucking working there anymore. I mean, you'd be gone.

The amount of times that Homie has said, oh, I'm gonna go clean more equipment, fuck that. I'm literally leaving, I'm gone. I literally heard, I voluntarily picked up shifts and I was like, couldn't be me. I don't voluntarily pick up any shifts. The second that I was running and I felt someone behind me,

there's no going into the other barn and cleaning for hours. The second I hear a person mooing, I'm not counting the cows, I'm saying, see you later. See you never. Also, Christine, you have such wild OCDs sometimes, so like you wouldn't have forgotten a cow. You would have, if you heard a moo, you'd go, I know I counted every cow 100 times.

That is a man. Yeah, there's no, that is no cow. That is no, there's certainly no cow. Am I wrong? I feel like you'd be like, unless I miscounted 300 times. But then you know me, because also I leave my social security card on the floor of the bar and I really would not be good at counting the cows. One day someone is gonna chase you

and it's gonna be because they're trying to hand you back your social security card. That has happened. Oh my God. But it was my debit card. It was in an ATM and someone started chasing me down and I got so scared and they said, good, bad luck.

That's some. Debit card. And some bad good luck. Okay, so this thing is moving closer to them. No. I lock my doors. That's when I leave. I would have said something, I think.

Had to hit a three point turn to get out of there, which wasn't very satisfying, but I did get turned around and was able to actually leave. I checked my rear view mirror, and as I got off the road, nothing was there. So I went home and felt safe but I wasn't what that night was the first and only time I've ever had sleep paralysis no that's I'm telling you sometimes the sleep paralysis shit it's no coincidence I don't think I really don't sleeping on my back of course I wake

up and everything is dark I try to check my phone to see the time but I can't move I try to close my eyes but that wasn't working either. I couldn't move at all and felt like I couldn't breathe. And there was this weight on my chest that I started to see something out of the corner of my eye and it was getting closer. It was this awful deformed half man, half animal, less, less than a centaur way and more in a Frankenstein's furry way. It was slimy and wet and had long fingers.

What in the fuck? Bitch, there's no way. This was scary, you don't have to tell me why. I know it was scary. This was scary because. This was scary because. In this paper, in this essay, I will prove it. In conclusion, therefore. This was scary because when I was little,

I used to have nightmares that the hat man would put his long spindly fingers in my ears and pierce my braid. Hey, I'm really scared. Hey, this is my birthday. Why is everyone bullying us? On my birthday week, you send this to me? I'm so scared.

I don't like the in the ear. I was already not happy. And now we didn't like it. Thank you though for making it worse. We didn't want more of it. The furry zombie guy grabbed my face and his hand covered my whole head. I felt him lift me up and start shouting. I don't remember what he was saying, but I started to cry. Now? I've been crying since he started the story. I don't remember how long it went on or what else happened, but the next morning I woke up halfway down the stairs and I've never walked in my sleep before.

You woke up like standing in the stairs? Oh my god. I swear to god. What in the actual? You need an exorcism. No, like for real, for real an exorcism. Yeah. I also have a story about another job I worked at a night shift sat alone where I'm fairly

certain someone was low key stalking me, but that's a story for another time. Oh my God. I still don't even know if that was a person or a fucking demon in the field. It feels like a demon if they came. I'm not demon, but you know what I mean, like an entity. Adeline, you move that story on over to Reddit, please. I don't need that over here. Yeah, get that out of here.

I need to cleanse my own ears that are unpierced by the hat man, by the way. Unpierced and they'll stay that way. Your virgin, get your story away from him's virgin ears. Please, please. Please. The end, thanks please. Please. The end. Thanks, Ellen. Money is really confusing and hard and it doesn't matter how much or how little you have. I mean, it does matter. Don't get me wrong, but it also doesn't matter how much or little you have. It's always confusing.

It's always confused me since today. I got my very first nickel. Oh, oh well as as grandma said, money is hard. Well, luckily we have Chime, and Chime understands that every dollar and nickel counts. That's why when you set up Direct Deposit through Chime, you get access to fee-free features like free overdraft coverage, getting paid up to two days early with Direct Deposit,

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I'll give you more when you appreciate it. That's what I'll say. Work on your financial goals through Chime today. Open an account in two minutes at chime.com slash drink. That's chime.com slash drink. Chime. Feels like progress. Chime is a financial technology company, not a bank.

Banking services and debit card provided by the Bancorp Bank NA or Stride Bank NA. Members FDIC, spot me eligibility requirements and overdraft limits apply. Timing depends on submission of payment file. Fees apply at out of network ATMs, bank ranking, and number of ATMs. According to US News and World Report 2023. Chime checking account required. Okay, this is the last one I'm going to read, and then there's one more after this. This one is from Elise Sheher, and it's called Haunted College Dorm.

Great. Hi, ATWWD family. I hope this email finds all of you well and hope that this story makes it into the March Listener Stories. Almost. I don't know why that's so funny to me because it's like from two years ago. Oh, it's not almost. Almost. I hope this story makes it into the March listeners stories after your open call for haunted dorms. I go to Mount Holyoke

College in Massachusetts, a historic women's college that is a part of the seven siblings. The college. What the fuck is that? What is that? Do you know? No, I don't know. Oh, oh, oh. You just like I said, what the fuck is that? But I don't think you heard me and you looked so placid and calm that I was was like am I just being an idiot? No, I think I just I was seven sisters I guess that's like sounds religious. Oh a group of Was that the name of the other prayer group college? Honestly, that would be such a good show though, like calling the Seven Sisters to like exercise your demons.

Okay, it says the Seven Sisters are a group of seven private liberal arts colleges that are historically women's colleges. So Barnard, Bryn Mawr, Mount Holyoke Smith, Wellesley, Vassar, and Radcliffe. Wow, so many of those sent me emails to apply when I needed to go to college. Wow not a single one sent me one so that's weird. Hmm I've never heard all of them come together like that but okay good to No. Oh. Not all of them. Some of them. Sorry. I know, but the fact that there's others.

No, not Barnard. Nope. The next one, Bryn Mawr. Bryn Mawr did. Bryn Mawr? Uh huh. Mount Holyoke? No. Smith? Yes. Wellesley? Yes. Vassar? Yes. And then it says Radcliffe became no Harvard College at Harvard She also reached out actually no not that I know of but yeah a few of them actually they I remember those Popping up in my email and being like wow they want me to go to college But it was probably like they just sent an email to every 17 year old yeah Well, I sent me apparently but that's fine. Don't worry about it. Whoopsies. Anyway. I'll recover eventually. Um, I got an email from Ball State University and Texas A&M. Really?

Yeah, they get excited if you come here we'll give you a laptop. Wow. Almost convinced me. My friend Siana obviously fell for that trap because she went to A&M. So I feel like I've asked you this before because I'm like, I almost went there for literally just a laptop. I'm sure she almost went there for literally just a laptop Okay, here we go, why did they let 17 year olds make decisions like that like, you know, it's like a life whatever, okay Let's see, so we're in March of 23 when this was supposed to be happening, but it's now instead. Okay

One of the seven sisters, siblings. The college was founded in 1837 and has a lot of really cool history. Our college has one building and room that is supposedly haunted so much so that no one on campus is allowed to live in it. A few of the college's presidents have spent the night in it to prove that it is not haunted.

You're already losing the battle, my friend. If you have to sleep somewhere to prove it's not haunted, you're not gonna win. Also, that makes me wonder, who is determining the housing situation? Oh, good point, because if it's too haunted and the president says, no, it's not, please use all this real estate, it's so expensive.

You would think the president would go to the housing department and be like, put people in that fucking building, I'll sleep in there to prove it. But it sounds like the housing people are freaked out more than even the students. That's exactly kind of what it says. It says, the presidents have spent the night in it to prove it is not haunted, but the room is still not available for students. Hashtag sus. So yeah, so they

clearly maybe met up with something they didn't like. That story aside, it is actually one of the newer buildings on campus that I have a story about. During my time living on campus, I was an RA, and wow, let me just say, people be wild. Yeah, I'm certain of it. As such, I lived in a very tiny single-person room. With the way the building was set up, all of the RAs had the same room on different floors with all of us positioned directly under or over the other staff members, with exception to our captain who had a slightly larger room in the stairwell. The building, Ham, which we fondly called Ham and Cheese,

was built in the 60s and certainly looks it. It is not a very popular building to be in because it is far from campus and the rooms are pretty small. It is never included in campus stories, which is why I was shocked beyond belief that the building was hella haunted. I made the mistake of having two mirrors facing each other in my room. One was a small desk mirror, the other a floor-length one, I made the mistake of having two mirrors facing each other in my room. Whoopsies. Yep. One was a small desk mirror, the other a floor-length one, and my pagan bestie believes this was

the start of my problems. It started with small things going missing, a hair tie, my ID card, my lucky socks, and then started to get more frustrating, with things spontaneously falling over in my dorm. I always blamed it on a draft or a door closing, but one day it got so wild that I could no longer dismiss the occurrences as being a coincidence. The day in question went something like this. One, my floor-length mirror falls flat on its face shattering. It's like it's like they were even saying you don't want this smoke. The feng shui is so bad we'll help you. You're gonna hate this so let us do you a favor and get rid of these mirrors. We're gonna close this portal real quick. Yeah. Two, my potted plant across the room flies off its shelf spilling dirt everywhere and shattering the pot.

My wax melter full of freaking hot wax falls on my face while positioned towards the back of my desk. That's the probably most violent ghost I've heard of. That's really scary. Yeah, I feel like they're not usually, they're usually trying to get your attention, not like trying to burn you. It says ask Megan for the pics. I sent them once while trying to provide guidance

for Christina about how to get wax off her sofa. As someone who got them out of my nostrils. My face, right? Oh my God. My favorite amethyst crystal gets thrown off my nightstand and shatters on the floor. So everything's like shattering. I hate that. And splashing.

I don't like this. I almost feel like the mirrors, like if it was an open portal, maybe so many spirits were coming through, they'll like it almost knock the mirror on its side. And now the portal is closed with all of them out here. So now they're- Oh my God, they got trapped in there, and now they're just- So now they're almost just kinda like pinball, ping ping ping ping ping ping,

and like knocking everything over, cause they're trying to find a new portal to get back through. Oh, pardon me, I just splashed wax all over your face. Yeah, yeah. Jeez. After this very unfortunate day, RIP my crystal and plant, comma, my face is fine. Well, that's good. I had my pagan friend come and smudge the room lock all my windows and mirrors and perform a banishing ritual

Luckily my problem stopped but our co-workers did not One of our co-workers was accustomed to having people coming in and out of her room to cry Yeah, as an RA that feels right and Ghosts were no exception One night she woke up. Oh because I bet you they were RA's rooms for like decades, you know? So who knows how many. One night she woke up to the sound of muffled sobs

coming from the corner of her room. She groggily turned on her lamp and found a shadowed figure curled up in her chair weeping. In the dim light of her- What the fuck? I know, yeah, no. No, don't sign me up for this. In the dim light of her lamp, she thought it was one of her residents and said,

you can't just come in here to cry. I that's a great boundary. OK, you can't just come in here to cry without being let in. What the hell? The figure looked up at her and proceeded to shoo her away. But maybe it was like the original R.A RA being like, get out of my fucking room. Yeah, like what are you doing here? Disgruntled she deadass literally just rolled over and went back to sleep, which we still

tease her about to this day saying, fine, just close the door on your way out. Sixth floor RA is on duty tonight if you need something. Wait, it was a ghost, right? Spoiler alert, her door was locked the night before and it was not a parentheses living Resident okay good. Yeah, so basically woke up the next day and was like wait a minute the doors locked so like nobody could have Exited and locked the door behind them you know What okay other folks in the building experience there things moving on their own and objects going missing But her story steals a creepy cake after that we literally smudged every

Hallway and all our rooms with a smoke-free option of course we were still RAs after all Of course love you guys bunches see ya in Boston in April that means we just saw you hugs and lemons Elise she her Thanks, Elise Wow what I like they were saying Worst obviously RAs so we can't use a smoke option. I'm like, fuck my job. Get this thing out of here. Literally. Yeah. But all of these stories are about us acting insane on campus by counting all the stairs and then quitting every job. The moment it turned scary. Like that. Like, why would I, anyway,

everyone who has written in is a better person than me, I guess. Um, well, I don't know about that. It seems like they're having a tough time and we're just chilling. So well, our final story this month is from Miranda. He uses sheer pronouns. Thank you for your amazing pronouns. And the subject line is a haunted bathtub and a possessed team.

And here's the thing. I can't get we've seen a lot of hotels. I can never take a bath in a hotel because I always for some reason there's something really eerie about a bathtub that's not that's in a hotel. I just think of all the I think of all the naked people before me. And things of the naked people or people dying in them. Right. Yeah. I think of people dying in them. And like, I just feel like there's just like I'm just lying

where maybe like a body was. I don of people dying in them. And like, I just feel like there's just like I'm just lying where maybe like a body was. I don't know. Bleach. If I could be guaranteed, you never know. I don't know if I saw the bleach, maybe I saw it. I get it. So it's still a mental thing. You're not comfortable. Yeah. It's just like a weird block. I just can't do it. I'm sure you're not the only one. It really freaks me out.

So as soon as you say a haunted bathtub, I'm like, oh, confirmed. Great. You're like, I don't like those. So this is what Miranda says. Hello to everyone. When I was in seventh grade, my family was renting a house in the small town of Hampton. Hamden. Hamden. Hamden. Oh, Hampton. Instead of Hampton.

I see. Massachusetts. The house we were living in was super old, built in the 1860s, and located directly across the street from a Revolutionary War era cemetery. The oldest grave there dates back to 1736. Maybe that's where my love of spooky things and history really took off, but then again, I was always kind of a weirdo. Anyway, my story isn't about the definitely haunted creepy ass cemetery it's about the definitely haunted creepy ass house I lived in

across the street. Christine can you stop writing into our own email? I can't I picked this topic remember? It's exhausting. Christine with a K. I know the the house seemed pretty normal at first and I didn't feel anything negative about it. Yeah it old, but I had gotten used to the old houses in New England and the downstairs was fully renovated. But upstairs, it seemed like they gave up. Christine, this is your house. Oh, yeah, I know where you're going. So it's like kind of falling apart. It seemed like they gave up by the time they got to the top floors. Yeah, the kids rooms. Yeah, with drawings and dirt everywhere. Well, I guess that's where they put my brother and me. The floors upstairs were like original oak wood floors with one inch gaps that gathered crumbs and dust

and died as well for the last 160 years. Yep, that sounds like my room. It's been there, been there, been there. The cellar was the first spot in the house that gave me a horrible sinking feeling that had my heart racing and body filling with dread. Eww. It's an old root cellar with dirt floors.

Now it's your current house, Christine. Yeah, and my mom's house. It still fits. She also has the cellar. It really spans a lot. Yeah. I feel like this person is from Ohio and I just like maybe they didn't mean to out themselves. Maybe they wrote the wrong name, the wrong state.

Yeah. Yeah. It's an old cellar with dirt floors with this creepy-ass stereotypical stairs from horror movies and a single light bulb hanging by a chain. Yep. I mean, that is like every basement that I've lived in, but I feel like that's pretty normal, right? I mean, it's not normal. I mean, it's normal enough.

Sure. I had a fully finished basement. Oh, I did. I've never had that. I've literally never lived in a home with that. Uh, I think I only went down a few times and each time I ran back up those stairs so quickly feeling like I was being chased by some invisible demon. And when I did go there to get something my mom asked for I would loudly sing whatever song was in my head the entire time. Thinking of the sound the sounds of Fergalicious would scare the ghost.

I would do that, though. Like it's like, da da da, like hum to yourself. Yeah. But the creepiest part of the house was the upstairs bathroom. It was small, but had a huge deep claw bathtub. And at first I thought, hell, yeah, I love baths. Not can't can't be me. I was ready to light some candles, pour some bubbles in and relax while reciting monologues from sappy romance movies. For Galicious.

In For Galicious. But I only took a bath there one time. And it was the most uncomfortable and eerie experience of my life. Eww! No matter how hot I ran the water, the tub felt ice cold under me. And maybe that's how these old tubs are. I don't know. But something about it told me I shouldn't be there.

No, they're meant to hold heat. We have one of these old ass claw tubs up there, which by the way, my friend Nicole, who's psychic, came over and I didn't even show her through the house because I was like, it's too messy, but she was like, there's a spot up way in your third floor, is there like a bathroom up there with like an old claw foot tub? And I was like, who wants to know? And she goes, I just get the feeling someone hides back, tucks away back there. And I went- Oh, right next to Leona. Please.

Maybe it's Boo Boo. Yeah, honestly, that's where she made me go ghost hunting today. I'm gonna post it on TikTok because she literally walked around waiting. Maybe the ghost isn't here. And I was filming it like, are we really doing this? But the cloth tub, but no, they're supposed to hold heat.

They're not supposed to be cold under you. Well, something about it told me I shouldn't be there. And I felt watched the entire time. That's the other thing. I feel like I'm being watched and I'm naked. Like I'm like, it's not gonna work. No, it's not gonna work. I was constantly looking around

expecting to see someone in the corner, but I never saw anyone. I just felt it. And then you feel so vulnerable. I don't think it was malevolent, but as someone that loves horror and creepy shit, I am a wimp and one glance of a shadow out of the corner of my eye and I nope out of there and it just felt like it was watching like it was curious.

I never took another bath and when I had to walk past the bathroom to get to the stairs, my heart would start racing uncontrollably and my eyes were glued to the floor, fearing that if I looked I would see something. Unfortunately, my little sister really loved that bathroom. Oh no. This crazy, possibly demonic sister of mine would disappear and we would search everywhere for her just to find her sitting in the floor of that bathroom, talking and playing with her toys as if someone was there. Forget. Okay, forget it. So if Leona starts bringing her toys into that room, I know something's not good.

She was always in that bathroom talking to her friends, and she would call them her friends, two little kids, both a little older than her. She said they played with her and they were nice. Everyone else just assumed she had imaginary friends, but I knew damn well that wasn't true. I'm so afraid. Does it have their names?

Because if you say boo-boo, I'm going to burn my house down. OK, at some point, if it comes, if it shows up, I'll let you know. I don't know why I got so scared for a second. I was like, if you say that and Leonis at the trampoline park and blazes of trampoline park, I'm going to start crying. Well, sorry. No, so far, no. Although I'm the most terrified of like whatever that stomping in your house is.

In my house? Yeah, like the one that even like Blaze was freaked out. Like it sounds like a whole ass person's walking around. I mean, I think it's Juniper. I really do still think it's Juniper, because especially once we found out that he's almost fully deaf, I think he just walks really loud now that he's older. I don't know, but it is very, it does happen though sometimes when it's not the cat,

but I think a lot of times when we hear pounding, we look over and it's Juniper. So it's one of those things where it's like, it could be explained, but like sometimes it couldn't be. I don't know. I was even more convinced when my family had a little late Ouija board party. Cool.

A family friend had come over who was super into tarot and spiritual stuff and she brought a Ouija board. I swear, Christine, it's like all your personalities are in the story. I'm like so annoying. I know. Most annoying person ever. And we were all really excited to try, even my mom who definitely has zero interest in spirits.

When we first started, I was convinced it was fake, and I thought for sure our friend was moving the planchette on her own. But as we talked to more spirits, I became a believer in spirit boards. We talked to family members who had passed, asking questions that only me or my mom or sisters knew the answers to. It was really fun and exciting and even a little emotional. But overall, we had a great time until the kids spoke to us. One of the ghosts from the bathroom came through and started telling us about themselves.

They were young, 8 or 9, and had a little sister who was there with them. I can't remember their names because honestly I think my brain has blocked it out, and eventually they told us something that had me wanting to run away from the house. They both died in the bathroom upstairs. Oh no. From what we surmise, their mother had drowned them in the bathtub. Oh my fucking God.

Later research done by my mother seems to corroborate this. Shit, I was hoping like, at least it's just a story. Fuck me. You'd think that would be the end. Well, yeah, I was hoping like at least it's just a story. Fuck me. You'd think that would be the end. Well, yeah, I'd hope so. The family friend that came over also brought her teenage daughter with her and the girl hadn't really participated,

just sat on the couch and watched us mostly. But after we talked to that kid, she got really, really weird. When she went full trance mode for a solid 10 minutes, she's speaking in mumbles, rocking back and forth and saying something in a language we couldn't figure out. No. She can go.

Who invited her anyway? I was an absolute mess screaming and crying and begging to leave that house, but everyone seemed chill for some reason and told me to calm down. Like, okay, sorry, I didn't realize that getting possessed was a normal thing to happen It's probably cause the teenager maybe that's just something that she did. I don't know I don't know if the parents are like it's fine. I'm like she does this all the time

Just has it as an attitude problem. I don't know Anyway, we stopped the session right away and everyone was going off to bed while I was just sitting there freaking out Oh, no, you poor thing. And you know how they tried to console me? They had the teenage girl, who I saw basically possessed by a possible child ghost, sleep in the room with me to keep me safe. Nooo, that's diabolical. I did not sleep at all that night and I kept looking down at that demon vessel. Sleeping on the floor.

That's another name for teenagers. Yep, demon vessel. While I survived and we moved out for unrelated reasons a few months later, I've been dying to write this for a while now and just finally got the courage to. Much love, Miranda. We didn't bully you too much to do it next time because wow, what a story. Oi. A demon vessel. that's pretty good. I feel like that a demon vessel would be a competitor to Immortal Portal. I was just thinking that's album two or 20. It's gotta be yeah. Season 28 on Discovery Plus. Season 28. Um, Wowza, Massachusetts. I don't want to go back

Wowza, Massachusetts. I don't want to go back, actually. I do. I want to stay at the Hawthorne Hotel, Apple Orchard. Yeah, that one's certainly the most tame. It's like, oh, I smell apples. OK. Yeah, like at the very least, it seems like harmless enough, you know, like on a day or a day. I'd say there. Yeah. Yeah.

That cow pasture, I got to be honest, I'm not going actually. I'm so fascinated by that, though. I want to know, like, was it a Wendigo? Was it like a shadow figure? Was it a criminal? Was it a creeper? I'm so I'm just like, call the police. If nobody's there. I'm so I'll call me back. I'm just like, I'm, I'm out. I'm, I have a new job now. You I mean, you're correct. You are correct. I don't deny you're correct. I just know that I wouldn't be as wise. Imagine going to your next job at the interview and they're like, why are you leaving your last job? And it's like, there was a ghost? I don't know what to tell you.

What? Yeah, I got, this ghost was mooing a lot. Like what? You had to be there. You had to be there. It was so scary. Well, thank you everyone for submitting your stories and happy birthday to all my other Geminis out there. And I hope you have a good birthday, Christine. And now we just got to wait 12 more episodes until we get to do it all over again.

Oh, man. That's okay. We still have Halloween and Christmas and all that good stuff. I do love that we're halfway to Halloween. We've always got... That's true. We're halfway to Christmas. Halfway to Christmas, yeah. There's always a reason. We're like 75% of the way to Halloween. I know. I'm so excited. That's exciting. I don't think that math is right, but whatever.

I think we know we're gonna make Hankies for his first Halloween. What? I think he's gonna be Hankenstein. No! Ah! That's cute. we're gonna make Hankies for his first Halloween. What? I think he's gonna be Hankinstein. No, ah! That's cute. We've always thought like witch and like familiar, like that's easy.

But like if he has to have a true costume, I think he's gonna be. Hankinstein is so cute with his, and he's gonna go all like crazy, jumping up and down with little bolts in his head. Oh, he's so cute. You're gonna be so sweet. And he's like a dog that lets you put things on him,

which is nice, so. Oh! Yeah, anyway., Joe is too. What's Joe going to be? Blessings annoyed, annoyed. No, I don't know yet, because it depends on Leona. I usually try to make them do a couple's costume. I that's beautiful. When she was a dino rancher, he was a triceratops, that kind of thing.

Precious. Yeah. Precious. Well, happy birthday, Christine. Happy birthday, Em. Have a good time at the dog park if you make it. More like at the vet with Mr. Gwittish's. Yeah, good luck with that. Okay, and? That's. Why.

We. Drink.