And That's Why We Drink - Listener Stories: Vol. 116

Episode Date: June 1, 2026

It’s June and Gemini season is officially here so happy birthday to us!! This month Eva has collected a batch of birthday related listener stories for us including a spooky deja vu experience, a birthday trip gone wrong, and a possession at one of our live shows?! And be on the lookout for limbs in various places they shouldn’t be… and that’s why we drink!Want to check out Allison’s new Etsy shop? See all things Forager’s Craft here: https://www.etsy.com/shop/ForagersCraftShop___________________Patio season is here—head to https://wayfair.com/m/outdoor now to get your outdoor space ready for less.Explore coverage at https://www.aspcapetinsurance.com/DRINK . The ASPCA® is not an insurer and is not engaged in the business of insurance.Elevate your summer wardrobe. Go to quince.com/drink for free shipping on your order and 365-day returns. Now available in Canada, too.Go to http://helixsleep.com/DRINK for 20% off Sitewide.Take Cheers Restore after your last drink or before going to bed and wake up feeling at least 50% better — or your money back. For a limited time our listeners are getting 20% off their entire order at https://CheersHealth.com/DRINK   #Cheers #ad Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

In Toronto, every arrival is a statement, and nothing says it better than this. Cadillac Optic was the number one selling luxury EV in Canada for 2025. Find your rhythm across a seamless 33-inch display and an immersive 19-speaker AKG surround audio system. This city demands agility, and Optic delivers with precision to make every drive extraordinary. Let's take the Cadillac. Find out more at Cadillac canada.ca. Luxury sales claim based on S&P Global Mobility Canadian New Vehicle Total Registrations for calendar year 2025 for the Cadillac definition of luxury. What you do you do?

Get it was faster they could after Jesse called for her help. It's been too long, cowboy. Toy Story 5 is only in theaters. So that's Lily Pat. Where are you? Some sort of old man toy? She thinks you're old because you're bald, Woody. From Disney and Pixar.

Toys are for play. Tech is for everything. It's Toys versus Tech. The screen just took over. All that's happening. It's happening. On June 19th. I want to talk to you, device.

A long, toys. Turn her off. Her off. I responded. I have plastic fingers. Disney and Pixar's Toy Story 5. Only in theaters June 19. I came back last night from an, I guess not impromptu, a planned camping trip.

Whoa. And you know what? That makes it worse because it was planned. And Allison forgot, first of all, pillows. She also forgot, I mean, typical, you know. I felt like I was sleeping directly on rocks all night long. It hurt so bad. And all I did in the wilderness was think about my Helix mattress.

It's really tragic when you're somewhere else. I've been there not on the floor. I was more at a hotel room. but I've been in that position. Thank God I had a pillow, though. Every time I rolled over, everyone else at their campsites heard me go, like I was in so much pain. Just gravel crushing underneath it.

Literally, all I wanted was to just be in my cloud that is a Helix mattress. My back needed it. Oh, your bat, yes. They offer 120-night sleep trial and limited lifetime warranty. So if you're like not feeling it, and we think you will. But if you're not, that's okay too. The happy with Helix Guarantee lets you rest easy with seamless returns and exchanges.

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Happy. Birthday to our! Okay. So I know we were going to do the whole song. I didn't know if we were doing. But last time we tried to do an ad lib one word alternating song, you know what happened. It went really bad. Disaster.

Disaster. Disaster all the way around. Happy birthday, my friend. Thank you. It's, well, it's, well, we'll see how it goes. I still have like two more days when this comes out. We'll see how many days. Two days left of your youth.

And you have three. That's right. How does it feel that for one singular solitary day will be the same age? I love it every time. It makes me laugh. Because it's the day you can't call me the cryptkeeper for one day of the year. For one, just one day. And that's your birthday gift, by the way. Happy birthday. Every year that's your birthday gift. I think it's your birthday gift that I don't get to call you a cryptkeeper. Well, you know, I've had to take the like glass half full look from day one about all this. So, you know. What if I said like cryptkeeper complimentary instead of like, oh, okay, you're right. It is my, wait. Oh, yeah. You're right. It's your birthday punishment. That's right. It's your birthday punishment. I'm as old as a cryptic. Yeah. Right, right, right, right. It's a very, um, at this point, it's just tradition. I don't even know if I enjoy it. It's just, it's what you do in this house. It's just how it works. I, uh, how, how does it feel to be coming up on

35? 35. Can you believe that? Isn't it crazy? We, we, started the podcast at 25. Wait, so are we going to be the same? So you are a year younger than me. Yeah. Why do I act like I don't know this every fucking year? Like, I'll be 34 for a day while you're still 34. Okay, we'll both be 34 that I turn to 35.

Okay, wow, I don't know how time or math works. No. So I do want a quantum level. So if that helps, but it's, you know, someone has to. Someone has to and it's sort of like everyone else seems to have this timeline figured out, this time. The rudimentary is not your privy. You don't need that.

Thank you so much. Like, I'm above that pay grade, if that makes sense. Does that make sense? My pay grade is above that work, you know? You couldn't have been more clear. Thank you so much. Yeah, it's Gemini season. Can you tell?

We are elevated. By the way, M today, or actually tomorrow, as we record this, there's going to be a Kazimi, which is a special time in astrology where the planets kind of align in kiss, smooch, it's sun and Gemini, Uranus and Gemini. It's a beautiful thing. It's going to fucking fire us up. So look out everybody. Yeah, we're going to be in high flying spirits.

It's the words, the banter, the communication. This is not an astrology podcast, but sometimes it's my birthday and I get to make it. Yeah, everyone shut up. It's our birthday. You can do whatever you want. I can you say shut up. And anyway, so it's an exciting time, M. It's going to light up a lot of our creativity and social butterfly centers, you know.

I love a butterfly center, except the real ones. I don't want to be anywhere near a real butterfly. Oh my God, I've got five, five chrysalis downstairs. Why? Because you have a child. Yep. Okay. You'll figure it out.

There's only one reason. Although I did make it my entire personality for like two days. I was like filming them, not my entire personality, but my entire fixation. I was like filming the chrysalis. And then I had to record my podcast with my brother. So I just take the camera back upstairs. On my way up, it fell. They escaped.

Oh. The Chrysalis escaped. On the way up, the camera fell. And now I have to spend $400 to her parents. So, yeah, it was not. Oh, and then I came downstairs and Blaze said, guess what? One of the caterpillars turned into a crissalus.

Didn't even catch it on camera, did you? That's crazy. That's crazy. Well, it was three days. Three days I spent with that fucking thing. In my kitchen. I'm going to tell them you called them that fucking thing. You know what?

I'll send them after you. And so you better fucking watch out. Do not. Oh my God. Nothing horrifies me more than a butterfly. I used to be so scared of them now. I'm just like kind of fascinated because they turn into goo in those little chrysalises. I mean, it's incredible. Nature is rock and roll. It's fucking rock and roll. Okay. It's sick. Nature is metal for sure. Twisted. It's metal. It's fucking sick as shit. I'm going to turn into goo. I'm going to fucking. Demolish my organs and then scare the shit out of you with all my beauty.

It's punk for sure. I mean I. Rock indeed. I am happy for you. It begs the question because of who we are. You've named them, I'm sure. I haven't. I know. Wow.

That's your assignment for today. Here's my problem. They're a little too alive, I think, for me to get too attached. Say that again. What do you mean? They're a little too, maybe alive. So they have to be inanimate objects. I got it.

It's safer that way. When I personify. Right. Because if they get hurt, you don't want to get attached. If one of them eats the other one, I don't know what they do in there, what they get up to. Well, that one's named like Hannibal Lecter. Yeah, right. So what if I call him Christine and all of a sudden I have an existential crisis?

You know what I'm trying to say? By the way, Leona has named everything in this house eight times. So like me naming something at this point is so absurd because whatever I name it will not even be allowed or last because I don't rule this house anymore. Do you have a favorite name that she's picked out for something? Yeah, so she calls herself pretty. You know what? And she stood by that, by the way. She has always said that.

She literally calls herself pretty and she's the mom. You know what? Now that's rock and roll. That's very cool. That's fucking badass. And then I'm, and by the way, she doesn't give a shit about this chrysalis. Like, I mean, she's like interested, but she's like, my mom's so fucking weird about this.

Like, she's clearly like, so. Like, your, like, your tattoo and everything and like how, like, they can be very. Well, yeah. Oh, it's a moth. It is a moth, but, you know, I was like, oh, a cocoon and a crisslet. That's about as far much. She's like, I already learned that at school. And I was like, oh, okay, you know more about this than I do.

Take up the pace. She's like, actually, I could teach you. And she's like, my name's Miss Pretty. And I think my name was like, it changes every time. Miss Agu or something. Hideoso, the terrible. Count vomitus. My name, I forgot, wait, Blaze's name and it was so tragic because it was Mother's Day, so he had to go along with it.

But she was the mom and her name was pretty. My name was Sparkles and his name was Honker. And she wrote him a card that's sad. Mommy loves you honker and left it. And I didn't know what was happening. She just kept saying, how do you spell Mommy? And I was like, oh, like cooking dinner. Like, oh, she's making me.

card. She's like, how do you spell loves? And I'm like, oh, you know. And then she wrote, she's like, how do you spell honker? I certainly hope you call Blaze Honker in your personal life now. I'm going to start. Mabuess Honker. It just was like, and then Blaine was just like so stoic. And was like, I don't know what to tell you. At least you both know it will change maybe five minutes later. So yeah, well, you know, that's so great because it's the only one that's really stuck, which is my favorite. It just makes me so happy. Yeah. So anyway, it's, I think yesterday I said, she said, what's your name? And I said, I'll be Corinne. And she said, I'll never remember that. And I said, but I'm your daughter. And she goes, I'll call you Chloe. And I went, what the fuck? Like,

I don't even get to name myself when we play school. She was like, I threw you a bone to play along and you didn't match my energy. You really didn't. I'm going to rescind that end of night. You got to read the room. And now I'm the boss again because I'm pretty. Remember. And I rule. She actually says, I actually I'm the boss of, um, she calls it the tri-state area. I forget what she calls it. Uh, Newport and, and Hamilton County. I don't know. She has a very specific way of sustaining her.

Miss Pity of the tri-state county. Yeah. Look out. Miss USA or whatever you're called. Um, do you know what Miss Pity is doing for your B day? You have any idea what's coming up next week? You know, not even a, not even a one. Okay.

Do you know what Honker is doing for you? So he better do a silly special because mommy loves him. Oh, God, I hate my life. It's terrible. Well, actually, one of my oldest friends is getting married the weekend of our birthdays, yours of my birthdays. She's getting married on 6-6-26, and it's very intentional. She's a Scorpio. It's her whole thing.

I'm so excited. It'll be really fun. Leon is a flower girl. So we're doing that that weekend. And then I will probably just like, I don't know, like last year we went to the Appalachian Festival. And I got really high and watched like a flute player, a Native American flute player. Oh, we remember. It's like it was yesterday.

I think about it almost weekly. So if that occurs again, good old Coney Island on my head over there. But we'll see. Very nice. What are you up to this? Oh, that was Mother's Day. Never mind. That wasn't my birthday.

Either they're always around the same time. Whatever. What are you up to this weekend? Or this week, your birthday? I don't know what's happening on the day of, and apparently either does Allison. Yikes. Is that good or bad? I wonder. Because if she were like, I have very specific plans, I'd also be a little afraid. No, I'm not worried at all.

She has to handle. Although we've recently, as many know with minimal detail that there's been a ban for quite some time on anyone. planning trips except me and recently the band has been lifted and alison has gotten real uh excited about she's flying a little close to the sun is that what you're saying what's that is she flying a little close to the sun with her newfound power she she she i don't want not in a negative way but in a i'm cautious way yes she's um because we a few times back at at the beginning of the relationship we did a lot of outdoor things that she planned and they didn't go well they were not they ended up I argue they were more like near death experiences they were they I say with love and she meant very well

however we certainly it was the closest to like having to come to terms with the end of my life um not hyperbole um it's not I can assure you it's not everyone and so I was like else I think for the rest of the relationship the planning is on me you tell me where you want go it'll we're going to have good time. We'll work together. We'll work together. Um, but I did hear she forgot pillows. But now this time around, um, we recently just went camping and she planned that. She also, she, she pretty much nailed it except she forgot pillows. Um, that was the worst one for sure, because that's a big one. Um, without a pillow. And I, I, I'm, you're, you know, I was going to say, uh, I already blinked. What was it talking about? Pillows. Sorry, I haven't had my drinks yet.

I went with you. So I'm just holding my hand and bring me back. I go with you. That's the problem. People look at me. Like, where was I? I was like, I don't know.

I went with you. What the hell do you want me to do? I didn't tether myself to anything in reality. Well, what I was going to, I was going to say, I sleep with like three to four pillows every single night in a very specific position. Yeah, you have to have like the,

yeah. And the fact that there was none. I mean, I thought I was in a coffin. It was horrible. You were, I think, sort of.

I mean, technically I was on the dirt coffin. If you died, you would have just slowly. Made your own coffin. Just kept it moving. No, I had a, we had a very good time. It was very, um, it was like in the middle of the week.

So that way it wouldn't be too crowded. And the weather was really nice. And we'd just sit up and had a fire. It was very sweet. So she nailed that and I was like, okay. That sounds lovely. And all I know, I don't know what's happening on the day of my birthday, but I know for my birthday, another trip is coming up that she's also playing some like.

A trip. I know. I don't, I don't. Maybe it'll be like a cozy cat. or something. Maybe. She's got to stop it with these, with these outdoor things because I love an outdoor. I still have a lot of trauma from the past.

I'm like, why don't you just take me to a nice museum? You know what I mean? Well, she's looking for some wood to make her beautiful jewelry, you know? She's out there working. I thought the same thing. Yeah. She's just, it's like when you use the business card. I'm like, uh-huh.

Expense it. And it's like, to what end? No, no, no. This is romance, M. As I, as I steal all. the scrapwood from the fire. Just a stick goes in the back pocket. No, I'm glad you said it because I thought it and I went, that's a sneaky little creative lady.

By the way, I know we talked about my heart glasses in the Zenny ad, which like not even an ad because, well, it wasn't an ad. This is not an ad because I just love them. But my heart glasses. But I also wore yesterday my heart glasses and the necklace Allison made me my like triangle necklace. And my therapist was like, oh my gosh, I just love all of this together. It's such a good energy. and I was like, well, that's very sweet of you. No, she's...

Can you tell the name, the website? Yeah, so we're all very proud of Allison over here. She has broken free from the corporate chains. I am so proud of her! And she is now making her own jewelry. We've already talked about before on the show, but just another shout out. It's called Forger's Craft, and you can find it on Etsy.

All of her stuff is like ethically sourced. Yes, on walks with M. Exactly. Exactly. From a very specific campground, I was just sleeping on. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Underneath M. Oh, my God. She should charge extra for those. That would be crazy. M used this as a pillow. I honestly, if she carved out a pillow with wood, I would have been like, at least my head of support.

Yeah. But no, it's a, everyone please go check out forage's craft. I'm so proud. I'm so proud. woman-owned, queer-owned. Yeah, hell yeah. And she posted this real yesterday that was like, proof that you're one YouTube video away from doing any job a man can do.

And I was like, and then it was like the woodworking tools. And I was like, ah, oh my God. She's such a badass bitch. A while ago, she would have been, what were they calling it, a girl boss? The girl, I almost said that. And I was like, ew, vomit. No, our garage has, originally the thought was, oh, that'll be like my studio. Nope, now it's a garage.

Sorry, act fast. You could look in there. You wouldn't know if a queer woman works in there or a big old sweaty man. Or like lumberjack. Yeah, it's a wood shop for sure. So I'm very proud of. That's amazing. Oh.

But yeah, that's all I got going on for my birthday. I know this is a long intro, but I will also say out of selfishness, there's another birthday to celebrate tomorrow. Hankies. Some, today's, my baby son's last day of being one. Our resident Gemini pet, our only Gemini pet, I think in this, in between the two of us. A boy, oh, toxic as fuck, dude, I love it. Don't worry.

I have a boy Scorpio, so I know, you know. God, what a nightmare they would be. If they met, I feel like it'd be either like enemies to lovers or lovers to enemies, and I don't know which one is. It's going to be a fucking tornado is what it is. Today I'm planning his puppy bee day that's going to be at the dog park. I mean. Very big day.

over here. What's the theme? If I told you, what'd you say? Is there a theme? Oh, yeah, his bark mitzvah. We've discussed. Oh, we've discussed this, sure. I'll show you some of the stuff that's already come in.

Also, everyone at the dog park is so nice. Everyone, like, just recycles their old stuff. So, like, this is, like, someone gave me, like, a table clock. Oh, to, like, do the birthday. Oh, that's cute. So this is his bandana tomorrow, nice Jewish boy. Oh, my word. Yep.

Of course. I remember. The classic NJB. And then, of course, you can't have a bark mitzvah without a yom. And a little talus. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. We're bringing Dradle, even though that's mainly like a Hanukkah thing.

You are out of your mind. We have paint your own dreidel. Oh, my God. You know what? And I'm very happy for him. He's technically 13. He's a man now. Wow, a little preteen boy.

And I also, I have pinned the tail on the hankies. So we cut out a big hank. And then I didn't I thought those just going to be like a party for like dog park people. But Allison's like inviting like our friends outside of the dog park to come to. Oh my God. One time in New York City I witnessed a dog's birthday party and like the amount of like pomp and circumstance and like people dressed up to the nines who attended this event. And I was like, this is living. This is, these people are living and I just get to witness it.

I have. My version of that is I'm wearing pants with his face. all over it tomorrow. And that's living, I'll tell you. That is living. Oh, my God. Anyway, so this is my first real birthday with him, because he turned one with us last time,

but we didn't know each other yet. So now he's getting all his favorite stuff. Wow. It's a big day. Special, boy. Yeah. Anyway, so I just needed to say it out loud because we woke up this morning, and I was like, oh, it's your last day as a one-year-old.

I love all this Gemini triple energy we've got now. I know. truly it's like oh just another person to like scream celebrate at we just can't stop ourselves it's never enough never could never will never should oh man well thank you for letting me um take a moment to talk about the beat boy forever and ever it's june it's time to go outside and it's time to sit outside and be comfortable though not like m when they go outside with allison and like sleep in the gravel you know wayfair is the perfect place to go get like something that fits your vibe it's not like they've just got one aesthetic. My kind of patio vibe is like boho, whatever. Or maybe it's like more like

chic hampton. I don't know anything about style. But you know what I mean. Like maybe you have a particular look. Eva as an example chimed in as we were discussing Wayfair and said, oh, I bought a gumball machine off Wayfair. And I was like, of course you did. And so, you know, they really do have a little something for everyone. Pretty much everything outside, speaking of summer that we have or that I've updated since we moved in is at least some. something of it is Wayfar. Part of my outdoor furniture is Wayfair. The little fire pet that we got from for a week. Oh, the fire pit. Yes. Wayfair really hooked me up. And they also have over 20 million five-star review. So you can hear from real customers before you buy. That was very helpful. So I was like,

am I just buying this off some like, you know, whoopsie-dazy internet website? And I don't even, I saw it my grandma. You know, that old whoopsie-dazy internet. People post pictures of what it's what it looks like in their space, which is always so helpful. They've even got grills. I mean, I guess that it's more exciting to have a fire pit, in my opinion. But if you're looking for a girl, they've got those too. Patio season is here and these deals won't last. So head to Wayfair.com right now to get your outdoor space ready for way less. That's W-A-Y-F-A-I-R.com.

Wayfair, every style, every home. Anyway, shall we get into some stories? Let's do it. I'll go first. Okay. By the way, the theme is birthday. Yes, that's right. Of course it is, because this isn't the end of us talking about ourselves.

I thought wrong. Okay. Thank you, Eva, by the way, for finding all these. Yes, thank you, Eva. And thank you, Megan, for putting a call out and whatever, whatever happened to make this happen. I know sometimes we ask for stories. And when we do that, it is for usually an upcoming episode on social. So you can see that there if we have a theme coming up.

Okay. So this is called birthday deja vu. It's our first birthday theme story for this month. Hi, M. and Christine. Heard you were calling for spooky birthday stories. So here's the one that happened to me a couple months. ago. Ever since I was little, I would get weird dreams months or years in advance of places and situations I've never been to and never been in. After waking, I would always think weird,

go about my business, and then the dream would happen later in real life. My dad gets the same dreams and the rest of my family has learned to just kind of go with it when one of us brings it up. About a year and some change ago, I had a dream I was in this open air market with green walls with my dad. He kept going deeper into the market and we ended up getting locked in overnight. There were more details, but these are the important ones. Fast forward to this past March, and I went on a trip for my birthday to a nerd convention and brought my parents along. Is that what you and Allison are going to do next? Is that what she's planning? You know what any day at this point. You're nerding out all day every day. Okay, brought my parents along. On one of the

days we were on this trip, we were down in a touristy area going through a bunch of little marketplaces. My dad veered my mom and I into this little warren of market fronts where they were getting ready to close. We went in a little bit before I stopped because I noticed that the market was the same one from my dream right down to the green walls. I mean, maybe that's exciting to you, but to me I would always be so fucking nervous about what is, what's coming up. But do you remember what happened in the dream? Her dad kept going further and further in. And then they got locked in. And then they got locked in.

Okay. Yeah. So she notices that it looks exactly the same, including the shade of green on the walls. I'm immediately like, we got to go. My dad's still going deeper into the market. I'm making sure I'm an eye shot of the entrance so we don't get locked in. And my mom calls for my dad and says, she had a dream. We got to go.

We got out and they locked the market up behind us with the same kind of gray I remembered from my dream. The only thing missing, though, was the baseball card shop I had seen. I wonder if we would have found it if we had stuck around. Kind of glad we didn't. I don't remember. Did we even talk about a baseball card shop? I don't think that was even brought up in here.

I think we forgot that in the story. But either way, I wonder if that was meant to be like a warning, like don't get locked in. Or I wonder if that was like just a weird thing that you accidentally got a glimpse of and then evaded. I wonder if I obviously I wouldn't know this. but I wonder if it had they been locked in, it would have been like so inconvenient and annoying to get out of there. And something in her brain went, when this happens, please get us out of here.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. This is so annoying. So true. Like, feature you like, please go save me from this. Yeah, true. Like, it could have just been something as like, like, hopefully they weren't in danger or anything. But it was just like.

Locked in your parents overnight in a shopping center. Forget it. Yeah, exactly. Or just the ripple effect would have been like, your day is going to be horrible if you don't. out of this. And it's your birthday. Please save yourself. Yeah. You're going to miss that thing earlier, you know. Yeah. That nerd convention. I, you know, love a nerd convention. Actually, I think RJ's taking me to a, essentially a nerd convention this weekend for, oh, fun.

So, have you been to one before? Like, what do you go to conventions? Not really. There's one, like, remember I went to that psychic convention in town that, like, yes, again, we remember that. That was fun. And then we talked about the pamphlet and then I think getting a yappy hour. And then we talked about the pamphlet for the furry convention that you're family member one too. But I don't usually go to many conventions. That was more I feel like a West Coast thing. Maybe.

I don't know. I hear they have like tattoo conventions that like a lot of people I know went last weekend. And one of my friends was like, I spent almost two grand on tattoos. And I was like, whoa. So that's a whole thing. A tattoo convention feels like a dangerous place. to be if you're, if you're, uh, hangar in for a tattoo. I must avoid. I must avoid. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Do you have an idea for a future tattoo? I have so much. I mean, 11,000. Yeah. What's the, what's the one?

I mean, I still don't have my hot stuff, you know? So that would be number one. I really want my hot stuff guy. Any other big pressing ones? Yeah, I really want a morning dove. And I really want to get my home, hallelujah tattoo. Oh my gosh. I need to get stars next to my little prince tattoo. I could go on forever. Well, I bet like at a tattoo convention, you could break it up so quickly. Oh, my God. I have like a little rubric and be like, okay, I need my ginkgo leaf. Who's going to do that? Yeah.

But eight o'clock can do the stars. My nine o'clock can do this. I love that. That actually sounds, I mean, it makes sense why. Maybe next year I'll go. Yeah. Okay. Because you're like, please, I shouldn't ever touch that.

I think it was last weekend. So it is like birthday season. You know, maybe maybe I'll do that for birthday next year. Once you're halfway through May until halfway through June. Celebrary. be excused. Anything's our day and everything's our day. I know better than to expect other people to feel that way, but my brain operates that way.

That's right. And as it should. All right. We've got another one from Meredith. He uses she, her pronouns. Thank you for normalizing pronouns. And the subject line is, I got sleep paralysis for my birthday. Wow.

Lucky. Lucky. Okay. Meredith says, hi Eva et al. Today is my 29th birthday and her birthday is April 29th. So this is your golden year. That's right. Happy B-Day.

Happy golden birthday. I'm a Taurus, so I don't believe in any of that bullshit. And then says, like, with a smiley face, like, probably the crowd should probably Okay, Torres. Yeah, I see you. Like, we're just being stubborn for nerds and because of the chorus. I see you, Taurus. And then, and then she says, but you didn't click on this for my astrology jokes.

Okay, listen, Taurus, you are, Tori season's over. Yeah. Have you gotten the memo? It's over. Get the memo. As I just said. season. It's Gemini time. As I just said, halfway through May is my time. Even though that's tour season, it's my time. Okay? Back up. Like a BTFU back the fuck up. You know what I'm saying?

BTFU. I do. Okay. This isn't paranormal really, but it was creepy as hell. And on my birthday, no less, very rude of the universe. Mm-hmm. Well, I spent all morning trying to do damage control from the problem co-worker. And about 2 p.m., I decided I deserved a nap. That's right. Right. So I walked from my office to my living room where one of my cats was being cute sleeping on the sofa and I snuggled up with her. I sat an alarm for one hour. But when it went off, June, who I guess is the cat, and you have a June, who's a cat? That's right. It's a great name. June was still sleeping next to me and it's still my birthday. So I was like just a few more minutes and fell back asleep. Apparently that was a mistake. My parents are coming at six to pick me up for dinner. And the next thing I knew, I heard their voices in the house. Oh. And of course, I thought, shit, I slept a whole two hours. And I tried to get up or say something, but nothing happened.

Ah. Then I felt that I couldn't actually see, but I felt my mom somehow on the sofa next to me. This is not a sofa two adults can lie on. But she felt someone lying next to her anyway. No, not no, no, no. She told me that they had just decided not to take me out for my birthday, which made me very sad, but also confused because, like, why are you in my house then? Yeah. And my mom's various limbs, ugh.

That alone needs to be. What a weird way to say that. Should a backspace and retype that one, Meredith. No, I love it. Fucking own it. My mom's various limbs seem to be in places that didn't make sense. I told you it needed to stay. I needed to stay.

I bet Meredith actually was like, this is the best way. This is the nicest way I can put it. Oh, submit this to a fucking story contest. I started to think this might be a dream, but I still couldn't move or speak or wake myself up. Then suddenly my parents were gone and I was still frozen except for my toes, fingers, and eyes. I was looking at June sleeping on the blanket in front of me, except her face was now on the back of her head. What the fuck? Hey, and you can't move. I'd be like, this is the exact moment I would like to move, please. Hey, my brain is now breaking in half.

I was now firmly convinced I was having sleep paralysis, although I didn't, that didn't make what I was seeing any less disturbing. Uh-uh. For what felt like, hours. I keep trying to move, get up, anything. And sometimes I would think I'd done it only to realize that it was too an illusion. Jesus. This is a nightmare. Your parents better take you to like the finest steakhouse for this dinner when you wake up. They better show up with champagne. After, I don't know, forever, I heard my parents' voices outside and this time I thought they might really be there. I heard them ring the doorbell and start getting more concerned when I didn't answer. I mean, imagine literally hearing the doorbell and you can't get up. And being frozen still.

how is this not waking your body up? I'm getting freaked out. I'd be like my soul is like barely attached to my body right now. It's on vacation. Yeah. Yeah. I was worried they would look in the front window and see me motionless on the couch and think I died. And the cat's face on the wrong side of his head. Everything's just like fucking bat bat shit crazy. If they saw both those things, I would hope that they would come try to save you for sure. They'd be in sleep paralysis. It's just such a nightmare. I, uh, oh my God. Hang on. My fingers panicked. And now I don't. don't know where I am. Oh my God. I was worried they would look in the front window and see me motionless on the couch and think I died. We're an anxious family. I tried to yell for them and

when they had the same non-result as always, I tried to just straight up scream, which would have been much less scary than seeing their daughter napping on the couch, I'm sure. Okay, I think they're being sarcastic. Yeah. Right. Okay. Okay. I couldn't do that either, the screaming. Yet I heard my own scream coming from what sounded like across the street. What? So now you're throwing your own voice even though you can't use your voice. No, your soul is still having a slumber party across the street and it needs to get the fuck home right now.

Or I wonder if you were trying to scream, but the soul that's barely attached from you is across the street and was trying to get your attention to be like, I'm saying. It's over there. Oh my God. Fucking bring it back. And then suddenly all the sounds stopped. My body felt normal and I cautiously moved my arms and legs. Everything worked and I couldn't hear any voices anymore so I checked my watch.

Only an hour since my alarm went off and the whole ordeal probably couldn't have been more than 10 minutes if that. June was where I'd left her looking totally unbothered with her face the right way this time. I like how she couldn't sense your peril at all. I see it or could and just ignored it, which is what my juniper would do. I think my other cat Wednesday noticed something was off though because as I finally managed to sit up, she jumped on the couch and came over to me. I was still in panic mode, but there was nothing to panic about anymore. And then I thought, you know who would love this story?

We were the first fucking people that came to mine. Oh, God, help me. And that's the end of the letter, too, by the way. What a tale she wove. Such a fucking tourist. I mean, really. I'm, wow. I really, I really am taken aback by this.

Like, I think I really hate, I really hate the idea of time stretching. like feeling like really long and I mean thank God it wasn't actually hours right but like that feeling of like something's lasting so long is dreadful to me and also like why I wonder did your did your parents show up or was that part of the dream too you know my my understanding is like now they're finally here they're here it's been just like two hours yeah okay wow I um yeah that sounds absolutely horrible have you ever heard the concept I don't even know what the right phrasing is but like it's like I'm it's somewhere on Reddit that like one day prisons will just be like mental prisons and you'll you could be sentenced for like what feels like a thousand years I mean I've seen

the black mirror episode of that okay so maybe that's a black mirror episode then scared the shit out of me for like I was literally petrified of that episode is scared you literally just you don't actually lose any time at all and maybe your sentence in real life it's like 10 minutes long yeah but you could be imprisoned for what feels like a thousand years feels like it's like like you're like hundreds of years. There, yeah, that was a blue mirror, a blue mirror, black moon. That was a blue moon, uh, black mirror. It's actually like the, like those blue light blue, blue, uh, whatever stupid.

I don't know. I've, let's, I'm moving on. Um, thank you so much. Um, sorry that that was your birthday. I hope you at least got a good dinner, like M said, you know. Like, please, can you imagine if then they're like, all right, Burger King? And I'm like, what? Actually, we're kind of like just thinking of you cooking for us.

Like, absolutely not. I was thinking leftover. Friday. What do you think? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You know what's so unfair about life is sometimes you drink responsibly and you follow all the rules and then you wake up in the morning and you still feel like crap. How do I know? I've been there. But there's an exciting sponsor called Cheers that we have today. I'm always a little skeptical when it comes to things like this. But here's how Cheers works. You take it after your last drink or before bed and then it works while you sleep. And their claim to fame is to feel 50% better or your money back. So you wake up feeling like that.

Like you drank roughly half the amount. And like if you're following the rules, you're trying to do a good job, make yourself, take care of yourself, but also have a good time. Cheers is going to help you do that. I think taking it right before bed is the way to go because then I don't need to remember anything during the evening, in the morning. Like, you know, just handle it and get some sleep. Yeah, we're not 16 anymore. So you can't just drink things out of a mysterious bathtub and wake up and feel fine. So, but with this, it feels like you only drink a little bit out of the bathtub.

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So, you know, Gio's in the room with me. So I have to say he loves a good WALK. But the other day, he stopped walking during the WALK. And he did that all day. It turns out he was just really hungry and we had forgotten to give him his special little lunch treat. And he was trying to kind of forcefully let us know. That is a moment to fear that something might be wrong. Yeah.

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This is a paid advertisement. Insurance is underwritten by either Independence American Insurance Company or United States Fire Insurance Company and produced by PTZ Insurance Agency Limited. The ASPCA is not an insurer and is not engaged in the business of insurance. Okay. Here's a story. This is sent it by Brenna.

She heard. It's called paranormal birthday story. Cool. Hi, Eva M. Christine. If you are feeling spicy, sweet baby G. Hankies, moonshine,

June, Leona Blaze, Allison, and petrified fruit. Do we get everybody? Just about. Just about. It's certainly a lot. It's a real cast.

Yeah, baby G. Hankies, Sunshine June. Yeah. I love your podcast. I've been a listener since 2020. And let me just say, I've been to your show,

caught up in a year, and got my friend hooked. We've been to see you twice. And at one of your shows, my friend actually got possessed. What? Speak on that. What do you mean? She did a total 180 from her usual cheerful self to sobbing and saying some incredibly weird things.

We're still not over it. Okay. Wow. Okay. We're sorry. I'm sorry about that. Oops. Should have made you sign something.

Did I? Yeah. Oops. Yeah. Don't suit me for that, I think. I saw your call for paranormal birthday stories and really wanted to share. My grandpa passed away in October about two years ago. It was incredibly hard time. He was my father figure and watching him struggle with dementia was heartbreaking. He was a quintessential handyman, always helping me with my car or fixing things around the house. A month after he passed, it was my birthday. I'm a Sagittarius, not a Scorpio M, so you're safe. I sure am.

I live in Illinois now, but I grew up in Michigan, and since my birthday is always in the week of Thanksgiving, it's a two-for trip home. The morning of my birthday, he came to visit me in a dream. It wasn't my first visit from the other side, but it was easily the best. We were back. We were back. in my childhood home and he looked younger, just like you guys have mentioned, appearing in the form they felt best in. We were working in his basement workshop like we used to. Everything was so vivid. At the end, as we walked up the stairs, it was a heavy, tearful goodbye. I woke up sobbing, but I knew deep down he was there to say happy birthday and let me know he's still looking out for me. As the great Lizzie McGuire once said, well, that's my life. I hope you enjoyed. I know I did. Love your hair. Hate your guys, Sabrina. Well, that's a, the endings today are top tier. They are like, I need everyone in addition to your pronouns. I want you to put your top three, your big three astrology, because I'm starting to sense some patterns here. Actually, that's incredible. Like at least whatever your Mercury is, like your, you're like communication style because it's, it's giving like some intensity and some like kind of catiness in like a fun way.

You really should for one of our like upcoming episodes, you really should cover like I would love to hear like an astrology 101 from you. I know it's not. Oh, well, thank you. I feel like I'm way too amateur for that. But, you know, I could at least research it. Yeah. I mean, I know it's not technically a crime, but it would be a crime if you're learning all this and don't get to talk about it. Oh, wow. You way to get. Trying to butter me up. Yeah. I would love to talk astrology. I mean, you may feel like you don't know what you're talking about, but it's, I know even less. So like I would. I did throw the word Kazimi out earlier. And I know I did that on. I was like, is that sushi? I did that. I know, right? I did that to Blaze yesterday. He went, what, never mind.

You know, that's typical honker. That's where we've, Honker! Classic Honker. You know Honker has a Pisces moon, which means he's psychic. Okay, we'll talk about another time. Well, okay, I don't know really what anything means, but when I hear Pisces, I immediately think like, like, very, like, in tune with their emotions.

And he's a very intelligent, an emotionally intelligent man. Well, he doesn't fucking talk, but he's so stoic, you know? He's like the Capricorn kind of override some of it. No, it's, everything's working in there for sure. I think he just, he is very wise about when to speak. Oh, that's so deep. But he's very emotionally in tune. Maybe we should do a totally astrology episode.

Maybe you should do your psychic half and I'll do the astrology. Okay, I'll just guess what you're going to say next. And I'll say it just to make it sound good. Thank you. Yeah. Okay. This next one is. Oh, well, fun.

It was sent to us at 222, which you know I love that. That's your lucky number. And this is Alexa. He uses she her pronouns. Thank you for normalizing pronouns. Bitch, is this your friend? Who did you just, who was Hillary Duff? What was that girl's name?

Brenna. I think this is Brenna's fucking friend. This is the one. I didn't read it. I didn't read it. Literally, there was one parentheses I didn't read. And I usually read the whole thing. It says she also wrote in about it after it happened.

but I didn't like know whether this. The subject is I got possessed by a ghost of your life show. Oh my God. I should have said it because it says she did we're still not over it. She also wrote in about it. But I didn't want to say it in case like, well, yeah. Why would you? And now I'm like, oh shit.

Okay. Yep. She wrote in about it. That feels like an Eva move. There's no way that we accidentally got both of their stories of here. I think Eva probably found it. I think because Eva knows us well enough to go, what happened. Yeah.

That will want to know. And that's a birthday gift. Well, happy birthday to us. Thank you, Eva. That was a gift. Okay. And we get to like play both friends. That's fun.

Oh my God. You get to be the possessed one. Remember when I said speak on that? Okay. Well then Alex was like, holy shit. You manifested it. Alex was like, we'll do. I'm like, is this your friend?

And I'm like, what the fuck? I don't know. You're like, is this your Lizzie McGuire friend? What? I will say, I don't see the word, the name Brenna anywhere. So there might be two people who've been possessed at a live show. Well, that would be wild. Let's see.

Let's read on. Well, yeah, it doesn't say who the name of the person, but yeah, I'm assuming this is the same friend. If not, this is bananas on it. This is going to be that. That's going to be, you guys have to link up at that point. Yeah. Oh, my God. Maybe there should be like a, like a, either like a discord or like a group.

Some sort of group therapy for everyone who's been possessed at our shows. Yeah, we will not be paying for it. Just to clarify. But I would like to hear the gossipiest bits. But we want to be there. Yeah. Okay. Okay. Here we go.

Hello. And that's why I drink. sorry for such a clickbaity headline, but it really is the most accurate way to describe my experience as I can think of nothing else to describe what happened. Can you read that headline again? Because I already forget it. I sure. I surely can. I again. I got possessed by a ghost at your live show. And we want answers. We want answers. I best friend and I both love your show. So we made a trip to Cincinnati for your live show. Oh, this happened in your home. I don't like that that was 10 minutes from where I am right now. This past April, and it was written in 2020.

So, April 2020. Cincinnati is a more exciting city than we thought it would be, and that's saying something as we were both raised in Michigan. Hey, what? Partheses derogatory. I don't know. No, fuck you. Anyway, we both ended up with our own spooky things happening, hers at the Airbnb, and mine at the show. But this story is about me.

okay girl and she can write in her own story if she wants but it definitely made our last night there especially creepy now onto the possession part we were having a great time laughing and being scared along with the rest of the crowd it was about the point in the show where you're showing a clip where m or christine was in a sort of trance it was probably you doing the asses method oh god yes it's so creepy it's hard to remember as this is where i began to fade out of being aware of what was going on around me whoa Alexa sounds like you fell asleep at our show actually Yeah. Well, it's kind of fucked up.

You wrote in to tell us that. Wow. Your many limbs weren't in the right place. And your cat's face was on the wrong side of its head. Okay. My friend and I looked at each other and we both had chills. And to me, it felt like the energy had shifted and my chills didn't go away. What happens next is a bit hard to describe, but I'll try my best.

The energy around me began feeling a bit heavy and it kept pressing at me like it needed to say or communicate something. And it needed me to do it. I've never been overly attuned to spirits So this was a first experience for me And I was completely caught off guard So this energy needed to communicate something But before I even had the chance to think about what was happening I thought, what do you need to say?

At that point, an overwhelming sense of grief and sadness washed over me And I basically blacked out Over and over in my mind My only thought was he's so sad Oh my God Was that Whaley House? in 2023 yeah that was like mr like one of the whaley's maybe maybe it yeah and that was the first time we ever did the estes method and uh that was where remember his daughter violet um died by suicide in the

house and he was only founder i think right yes yes he was because he had offered her like a peach or something she went out by the outhouse and shot herself yeah wow okay so that i mean that's immediately where my mind went because remember when i would the when we would the when we did the SS method you guys were asking questions like and they were saying like where is she like yeah the well or like outside check outside or oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh that's all i remember during the entirety of the time i blacked out was just thinking he's so sad i don't remember what happened the last bit of the show i came to during the singing of happy birthday to my mom to linda uh with my friend holding me close and rubbing my shoulder

and speaking firm affirmations and grounding me. Oh my God. Whoa. At least your friend clocked that. Like, I would have not even noticed that my friend was going through something if I was watching a show. I would have been like, you had too many white claws. I'd be like, oh, you have some weird tunnel vision going on right now. I'd be like, why aren't you laughing?

This is so funny. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'd be like, and also like, what a jarring way to wake up, Linda dancing. Wow. Which, by the way, thank you everyone for always being so complimentary. Oh, it's so fun. my mom very happy to get people singing happy birthday. Oh, it makes it so special, especially when it was in Cincinnati, like we sang to her.

I mean, she wasn't there, I guess, but. It was always an April show, whichever April show was closest to her birthday. Yeah. We never did that for Renata. She wouldn't have cared for that. Well, she has an August birthday. She's usually in Europe. And, like, I feel like we don't usually tour in August.

We're usually, like, finishing up something for the fall or, yeah. It's just the timing. I love you, mom. I swear to God, she's a Leo. So, like, she does want the attention. It's not that. We should have done one just on a random day and just. had it. We still can. We have some time before August rolls around. I don't remember what happened.

The last episode of the show, I woke up to singing happy birthday, Linda, with my friend holding me and grounding me. I was sobbing, not just a few tears, but like full-blown sobbing, and I was shaking, and I couldn't catch my breath. And I was getting the weirdest fucking looks from folks around me. I mean, you did look incredibly moved by the happy birthday song to other people. Or terrified of it, which like, or horrified. Both are. And I feel like, even if people are, looking at you. I think a lot of times, like, you can feel, I can't speak on this, but knowing our listeners and viewership, I think a lot of times it's like, oh, should I do something to help rather than like, what the hell is wrong with you? You know what I mean? Like, I think there's a different,

I'm hoping at least that you sense that it wasn't like a judgmental. No, I would, I would bet a million dollars. With our crowd. How do I help? Is she go okay? Yeah. Yeah. Um, I was absolutely shaken after this and I still can't describe exactly why or what happened. We, we were some of the last to leave the crowd as I was trying to calm down. But don't think for a moment that that will deter me from going to another show. We will, I was like, okay. You will not be allowed. I will not allow it. I don't want you to go through that again. We'll put you in a special viewing booth, okay? Yeah, a special booth. Or we'll just, we'll just send you a, like, a video of us just telling you what's going on. Yeah. We're both excitedly waiting for your next door. Thank you so much for the work of dedication.

So hopefully you came to our poor decision store. Yes. And hopefully didn't have another crisis, like terrible crisis. But I wonder, like, do you? You think it's the same fan. Now I'm really weirded out, M, because you're right. There's no. Oh, but it must be the same, right? It must be, but I mean, how would we, there's no evidence. There's no.

When did, when did the, when did, I'm sorry, I lost her name again. I mean, but when did she write in? I mean, I guess it doesn't really prove anything. I mean, I've been to see you twice. I got my friend hooked. We've been to see you twice. And at one of your shows, my friend actually got possessed, casual. Okay.

Well, if they do know each other, it at least implies they go back to another show. Oh, true. And this was written like in this May, like a week ago. So, okay, wow. Oh, wow. Okay, wow, wow, wow. I love this.

Eva, good job finding those. Yeah. Oh, my gosh. I wonder what Eva had to look on, like in the mail. Possessed at your live show. Possessed, yeah. How many do you think came up? Because I hope one.

I don't know. But if there was ever at least five or six, that should be a whole listener. We need a problem. a red alert if that's going on. 100%. And then Alexa signs it, yours and bagel bites. Oh, cute.

Oh, my God. Okay. So we just opened the Quinn's ad and I just ducked out of frame because I had to get something exciting, which are my slippers. Now, we've talked about these before because they're so affordable, but they're actually more comfortable than the name brand ones, which I will not be naming. But they're right here. But I've started like decorating them with a little like beady charm, like bead churings and stuff.

Make it your own. I love my slippers from Quinn's. but it's sort of like everything is starting to morph. You know, it's like, oh, they sell beautiful curtains at an affordable price that look and just and feel even nicer than the ones I would have bought. So why wouldn't I buy them there? It's just, we love Quince in this household. And I think in yours and I think in most people who discover it.

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Okay. So I believe I'm up. next. This is number five. And it's from, let me see here. I was shaking my, my ice tea, but it feels like I was drum rolling you in. Oh, it does sound like a drum roll. Ready? And number five, the person who wrote in is Lisa, she, her. And it says M, Christine, Eva, and Pets. I saw you are looking for birthday stories and I have a good one. And this, by the way, the title is Disney birthday gone wrong. Oh, I hope the haunted mansion is involved. No, that would be fun. You can use my first name. When I was five years old in 1980 for context, my dad took me to Florida for my birthday. The plan was to stay with his cousin who lived on the Gulf Coast for a few days,

then stay with my dad's friend, Dede in Orlando, and visit Disney World for two days. D.D. said her boyfriend lived only four miles from Disney. I'm already starting to feel this is a fucking true crime story, and I'm like not loving it already. Okay. Okay. We arrived at Dedy's boyfriend's house, and I was so excited. He was a lawyer and the house was really fancy. It even had these weird toilets with no seats, which I found out later were urinals. Good, good. Yeah, yeah. Could also be a bidet, but anyway, there was a lake out back with a little plane that landed on the water. Geez. Okay, money. The next, gee, no big deal. Happy birthday. The next morning, Dee Dee Dee was driving us to Disney in a big white Cadillac. One thing you should know about

Didi, I think I know a lot about Didi already. I'm learning. I've learned more than I think you know what you've said. Exactly. She speaks for herself. Her reputation precedes her. One thing you should know about Didi is that she was known at that time for her love of the devil's lettuce. Okay. I really like, I mean, I have yet to hear a bad thing about Didi. I mean, Didi sounds like a party. Okay.

One thing you should know, she was known at that time for love of the devil's lettuce. I'm pretty sure she did awake and bake that day because she couldn't find Disney World. Oh, no. Oh, no. What do you mean? Like, were you already there? And she, is it like, like, like. So they said they.

live four, that her boyfriend lived four miles from Disney World. And now she's going to drive Lisa to Disney World on her birthday and got lost, I guess, going to Disney World four miles away. So one of the most famous scenes of Jersey Shore is when Snooky is on the beach and she's drunk and she goes, where's the beach? She can't find the beach. And the guy points at the sand and he's like, this is, it's right here. This is the beach.

Where's the beach? Yeah. And she goes, you're going, where's the beach? Where's the beach? And then she gets arrested because she's like obviously so hammered. She doesn't know where she has. And she's a wander screaming in public. Yeah.

I mean, she, anyway, this is kind of reminded me of that where like she's like basically, you could see the castle and she's like, where's Disney? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. She's like, I can't find it. And like, I mean, I know it's 1980, but I think even then, like they had like Mickey Mouse like signs. I mean, maybe it's not as much as it is now. But I imagine they try to show you where it is.

Yeah. If you're only a couple miles away. But I don't know. Okay. So she did a wake and big that day. She couldn't find Disney. she stopped at a gas station for directions and pretended to get gas. But then after she got direction, she started driving off with the hose still in the gas tank.

Oh, Dee-D. What is happening? I don't think Didi was on the devil's lettuce. This feels like something. Something else. Something else is happening. I know people like to say devil's less, but I mean, sounds like maybe she's, anyway. Eventually, she dropped us off.

Okay. And we had a fun day. The next day, I was devastated to learn that we were driving home back to my dad's cousin's house. My dad insisted we were only ever going to Disney for one day, but I knew better. So basically the trip got cut short. And the dad was saying, like, I always said that. And she's like, no, you didn't. Like, we were supposed to be here longer, I guess.

It wasn't until I was 25 when my dad told me the real story. Oh, gosh. The day. The devil's snow or something. I know. I'm like, what could it mean? what could it possibly mean? Okay, the day of our Disney adventure,

I woke my dad up before Dedi and her boyfriend were awake. He went into the kitchen and looked in the cupboards for some cereal to feed me for breakfast. The kitchen cupboards had no food, but they were full of machine guns. What the fuck? What the fuck? Yeah, that wouldn't just let us.

That was not... There is something much harder for sure. There is something much bigger happening. I don't know what the fuck it is. They do say marijuana is a gateway drug. This is like, is this how Scarface started? I know. I'm like, if I, if I keep smoking, if I get to go downstairs and find like fucking

artillery in the in the cereal box, I mean, this is so upsetting. Okay. So, I mean, it is sad. And I think it's hard, like, especially as a kid. And I know parents, like, they don't always know how to handle things. But like, it's hard to hear that your dad is like that your parents were like, oh, we're leaving and that's it and you don't get to go back. And then they're the bad guy, but like, you just don't know what's really going on.

Yeah. Like that sucks. I know that feeling of like being like confused. Um, okay. So he went to the covers to look for cereal, Jesus, and found cupboards full of no food, but full of machine guns and heavy artillery. Just weapons of mass destruction.

I mean, this is literally Florida. Like this is a, and remember it's a rich lawyer's house. So like what is he up to with this money? You know, like this is sketchy as fuck. Okay. A few years later, Dedi's boyfriend was sent to prison for smuggling drugs. Least surprising thing I've ever heard. Right.

Didi had left him by then so she didn't get in trouble. In fact, she got her act together and got a degree in engineering and hopefully figured out how to use a gas tank. No, I'm just kidding. And figured out where Disney was. Yeah. And also found her way to Disney World. So that's the story of my Disney birthday gone wrong.

Wow. Okay. That is, Lisa, I'm so sorry that happened to you. I'm glad you got a good story out of it 20 years later though. Yeah. And good to know that D.D. is thriving. We love an underdog. love love a woman making her own way after getting wrapped up in something.

Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Wow. Well, you know, I say it all the time, but I like when we have listener stories that are true crime. I feel like it doesn't happen as often. It doesn't happen often. And like there's something, there's something kind of, especially when it's like it wraps up at the end, you know. Yeah.

It just feels very, I don't know. They're, well, I'll tell you. I'll tell you off camera. My mom has a similar similar story. What? Yeah, I know I'm leaving people hanging there. I was thinking, I was like, should I say it? And I'm like, I don't know how much I should say.

But she had a boyfriend who was into some stuff. Let's just say that. Oh, oh, yeah. I think all our moms did, at least back in the 80s. At least they tell, at least some of them do because my mother is like, oh, and she exaggerates. So I don't know how much of that is true. But yeah, there's some weird stories from back then. I'm like, people just kind of were like, oh, well.

Yeah. No, my, I think it's, I think it's one of my favorite stories of my mom. I mean, we've all heard that she has experienced a lot of ridiculousness in her life. She's lived a life. This one was, was a dozy. Maybe I'll talk about it on a, like a future Patreon or something. Yeah. Maybe we'll keep it for like the private feed.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, man. Well, okay, well, thank you so much. That was Lisa. Yeah, it was Lisa, yes. Okay. Now we've got our final for the B days. This is from, oh my God, Grace, who uses she, her pronouns.

Thank you for normalizing pronouns. And the subject line is short but sweet tale on how I cursed humanity. Grace, you're an icon. So you're the problem. I've been wondering if I'd ever run into you. Here we are. So Grace says, hello all, OG listener, first time writing. I went to your show in Burlington, Vermont and sat front row.

Do you remember that show? Wait, do I remember that show? Well, we've been to Burlington, Vermont a few times. Twice. So that one of them was the last show before COVID, right? Hmm. Okay. Because then we went, the next was supposed to be Seattle, and that was February and that was canceled.

And we went to Portland, Maine, and Burlington as our last two in 2020. Wow. Okay. Memory? What the hell happened? because I remember thinking, wow, I've finally gone to Maine. And then COVID hit. So I remember like thinking like, hey, at least I got to go to Maine before the world ends.

And Lisa was with us for those. Yes. Yes. And there was like a hot tub. It was a whole thing. I do remember the hot tub. It was good. I just remember already the air like things were getting weird about COVID.

And it was like very subtle. But like things were starting to get. People were chatting. But yeah. So, okay. So but then we went back to Burlington. And that was also the week we had our car or snowbank, right? Or was that something different?

No, that was later. That was New Hampshire. That was the next time we were there and we were driving through New Hampshire. I don't know anything. You shut up. You literally, for the last like two minutes, you seemed to just be a calendar, a human calendar. I mean, I remember very vividly the last place I vacationed before COVID. That was about it.

That's about the extended lander, my memory of that time. I, uh, I remember Burlington Vermont, but I don't remember the, I don't have a broken up in my head. Mm-hmm. I don't either. They went to our show in Burlington, Vermont, sat front row. Yes, this was the show where M gave us all a show with a hole in their pants. Oh, yeah. Yeah, I recall that.

I love that that is the takeaway from the whole night that I gave you an opportunity to say anything else. And you said nothing and then we just fill it in with the hole in the pants. I really, for those who weren't there, I remember that hole in my pants. It was pretty. We all do. That was a tragic one. I think, I'm pretty sure I was flashing everyone the whole night. and I just told people up front to just embrace what was happening.

It looks like they did. Yeah, you know, thank you. I feel safe. So I have so many crazy stories to tell you, but as my first submission, let me tell you how I curse all humanity. Way to bring it home, girl. Let's just start off like really low, like low ball it, you know, like just start off easy. Anything from yours downhill. Jesus.

Let's set the scene. Vermont girl born and raised to European immigrant parents traveling in February to escape Vermont. icy tundra to Florida, the Sunshine State. It's February 2020. Okay, well, luckily we have Christine here, who remembers every single day. It's February 2020, my birthday, to be exact. And I decide, let's sit through a three-hour presentation on a Disney timeshare so we can get discounted tickets for Animal Kingdom. What could go wrong?

Bad birthday idea, but it's okay. Logistically, you're making a lot of sense, but I don't think I could do that. Mm-mm. Well, nothing went wrong. The presentation was just hella boring. However, I wanted to celebrate 30, surrounded by zebras, elephants, and other creatures that wouldn't dare venture to Vermont. Aw. Fair reasoning.

My husband, two sons, and I absolutely had a blast. When I was on my bazillionth beer, because, hey, vacation and you only turn 30 once, I bet your two sons were like, mom's having a great fucking time. She's on beer bazillion. They were probably like, I can't wait till I can be on beer bazillion. 30th birthday yeah sounds like fun no judgment i i feel like if i at any age if i saw someone celebrating i was like they're having a time oh hell yeah good for them um we had an absolute blast when i was on my bazillionth beer a man stepped on my toe and i spilled my beer to say the least i was miffed i sat down to have some dessert where my boys reminded me that i hadn't made my wish yet a birthday wish i closed

my eyes and in white shrewd fashion opened my eyes and said we need a new plague What the fuck is wrong with you? Are you? Flas forward to a few weeks later and it's March 2020 and we get COVID. Girl, you better blame it on your bazillionth beer. I had just gone to Maine for the first time, you bitch. Why are you wishing for that? What was what the fuck is a matter with you?

A birthday wish? Do you not have any respect for a birthday wish? Because some guy stepped on your toe and you're like, we need a plague. You know what? That guy who stepped on your toe has no idea what butterfly effect he caused. You know what they say like the flap of a wing, the step of a toe? And all of a sudden there's a fucking pandemic. The magic of Disney really.

Wow. So March 2020 happens and then we get COVID. My bad. Sorry I wished so hard. Yeah, girl, you should be for sure. My bad. I could see like the hair being twirled when she says it. Oops.

Like what? Like manifesting is hard. Since then I've tried repeating wishing hard for other things, but it must have been the magic of Disney's Animal Kingdom. Actually, can you stop wishing for anything? Is really what I'd rather have happened? Like did you once wish for it to be reversed? I wonder.

Now that I wonder. Yeah. Interesting. I wonder like maybe stop wishing for things is the lesson here. Well, that, thanks for nothing, I guess, Grace. Hey, that was a cool six years ago. Can you believe that? You know what? And she's still paying for it. That's fucking amazing. Well, you know what? You went to a Disney timeshare presentation, and I think that was called Karmic retribution.

For sure. I think for some reason there's now an order. There's a balance to the order. Totally. You've been, everything's been rebalanced. And I'm sorry that you are kind of the catalyst and I'm not really going to forgive you. But that's okay. It's our birthday. So we're still going to have fun. And I'd just like say a happy birthday to everyone. Thank you for sending your birthday stories in, even if we didn't get to them. Eva, looked through them and we appreciate all of them. And if you ever want to follow what upcoming themes we have, if we have a call for them, sometimes we just decide on like a theme. You can check out our social media, ATWWD podcast.

And then the spot to submit is on our website, right? And that's why we drink.com. And maybe at a town near you will eventually be putting out request for what your big three is on top of your story submission. That's right, in a town near you. And also, maybe if you've been possessed at our show and you're like, oh, I wasn't going to write in about this because I thought maybe it was just a weird panic attack or something. Can you let us know? Because now I'm curious if there were like certain parts of the show. Like what if it was the same scene, you know, and like other people were getting?

I'm needing to understand this from sort of a bird's eye view. I mean, I would, yeah, I would love to know if there, do we need to arrange? like a group, not a group therapy, but like, should we, should we be getting these people in touch with each other? So that way they at least, the fact that your eyeball pokes exactly through the whole of that water bottle. Mike was like you're a goddamn professor or something. Like I'm the peanut, Mr. Pina. Anyway, tell, tell Miss Pertie that your new name is Mr. Pema.

She's not going to allow it that I'm going to try. Anyway, no, thank you, everybody. and I hope anyone else who has a June B day is having a happy birthday. Happy birthday. Dare we just try. Oh, yeah. Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday to you.

Happy. I know. Birthday. Dear. The most beautiful, pretty and sparkles and. and I forget all our name. Honker. No, it's not their birthday.

It's our birthday. Happy birthday. To us. And that's where we drink. And this we drink.