And That's Why We Drink - Listener Stories: Vol. 13

Episode Date: March 1, 2018

It's March (not February, despite what Christine may think) and you know what that means! More spooky, heartwarming, and all-out terrifying stories from none other than YOU GUYS! Plus, we read all the name of our Patreon donors out loud - that's right, ALL of them.

welcome to oh my gosh you know what i just realized what so this is our february listener episode which means that this is the first time this is our march oh first time what christine finish the sentence i was gonna say it's the first time we've done a second listener episode of the month like nope it's our second time although i will say last marches was quite rocky i don't remember it we were still texting people to desperately guys fun fact of our very first listeners episode back in February 2017, we knew that we wanted to do a listeners episode, but literally not a single person had emailed us a story. And so we were frantically texting our friends to send in any ghost story they could think

of on the spot. Like while we were recording. And then we were recording and pretending we didn't know who they were we were like wow thanks addie thanks for being a listener we read each other's friends so that we wouldn't like give away the fact that we knew them that's embarrassing maybe we're still doing that if we still did that oh my gosh oh my god we're not we we're not that creative we're not we don't have that many friends look how far we've come can you imagine if every single month we had to text like four to six people? We don't know this many people.

I don't know. High five. Good for us. Sorry I thought it was the wrong month. Well, I saved this file. Sorry how we started. I saved this file as February listener stories, so I don't know why. Precious.

My computer let me do that. Okay. Well, we're here with your stories no matter what month it is. Yes. Yes. Yes. That's the case okay let's let's just all totally forget everything we just said because i know christine's not going

to edit it out although we really should but now we all know something about ourselves what did we learn today we learned that we have six listeners episodes to get through good let's do those stories let's just episodes please let's just get to the meat of it okay who wants to start i'm not here i do okay great okay then do it i'm not saying do it i'm just saying don't not don't not do it and don't wait any longer to not do it um hurry up uh okay so this is from jessica her subject line which is why i'm reading it by the way oh. Oh, okay. Because it got me going. It was entitled, in caps, beep bop boop. Listen.

Just like Christine. It says listen, too. Yeah. Beep boop bop. And then for me, because she's got to pull on my heartstrings a little bit, she says, I'm Canadian and left-handed with a winky face. Come on. Jessica knows. Jessica, you had me for a second then you went away

nope she was just she was trying to entice you but she was really trying to win me and you know what job well done i was just in the way she oh oh oh also fun fact jessica this is the first time i'm reading your email jessica wrote i hope that worked in getting your attention oh well well that's weird well jessica how you doing wow so i feel like i could say a million things to you first off i love you both love your friendship love your dog and all around i'm just infatuated oh and then just just to twist my arm a little more let's crack into it come on jessica's like jessica's fighting for it she's like alice and who oh my god who okay

she's like flash cards with all her details written on it she actually has a poster of us like oh my on her ceiling or something that she drew herself yeah out of wine oh sure okay it says i have literally been living for your podcast over the last six weeks. Glad to do that for you, Jessica. You're welcome. I started off the new year seeing the numbers 1111 everywhere and feeling beyond in control and ready to take on the world. You go, girl. Hell yeah.

Then I had an instant pot fall on my head and it gave me a concussion. Wait. That happened to me, but with an iHome one time. Yes. And your brother with a clock. I got a black eye from it. Yes. Good times. What were you doing, but with an iHome one time. Yes, and your brother with a clock. I got a black eye from it. Yes. Good times.

What were you doing with that iPhone? iHome. I was looking to see if... You were holding it above you. Well, I was looking if there was a serial number on it. And I was lying down on my bed, and then I let go. The gist of this, though, is that she was all hyped up, ready to take on the world, and then God was like, no, no.

Here's a crock pot falling on your face. She said, thank goodness the doctor at the ER told me I had to rest with no screens, et cetera, except maybe light podcasts. Poor thing. I'm sorry. Light music or podcasts. Right. So, like, thank God she can listen to us.

Thank God she can listen to our music. Pass. The cranberry sauce. Wait we're we're having mashed potatoes oh turkey looks great thank you for loving me thank you for being there everyone's thanking the whole world thanking you for thanking us for thanking you kill the turkey that's our music jess you got a two in one you got to hit the 15 rewind button and listen to it over and over again that's what your doctor said so she said anyway she gets to listen to podcasts bring on the love affair with everything and that's why we drink very kind and then she said so many stories i can share my mom is from england

and as a teenager she babysat two little kids who shared a room the kids were still awake long after my mom tucked them in when she went back in to say it's time to go to sleep without skipping a beat they told her that it was just nana and granddad reading them their bedtime story and both of them were dead oh good uh while i was in college I was always afraid of my closet in the bedroom. I had reoccurring dreams of a young girl bound in the closet screaming, Jess, go to a fucking shrink. Oh, my God. And I just finished the anniversary episode.

I have three kids under six and have been prego. Girl, you were leading me on this whole time. Prego my ego listen jessica is shady just dropped you like a hot potato that was a that was a tease jess i have three kids under six and have been prego or with a baby on my boob okay for the last six and a half years and have felt a closeness of spirits in my life. Ooh. But it seemed to stop each time I was pregnant. That's interesting. That is interesting.

It's like... It's like we're here now. Yeah. Whoa. Let's read on. When my first child was born, a family friend named Connie, whom is very in tune,

came to visit and inform me that my son was a very old soul. Oh, man. We always felt that way, and everywhere he goes, people will say the same. Oh, man. We always felt that way. And everywhere he goes, people will say the same. He spoke at a very early age and was constantly talking about his father from about two and a half years old until about four years old. We always just went with it. But he was adamant that his father was not his dad, who's my husband.

Oh, man. That poor dad. He's like, come on. You're my firstborn son. He was super tall, the dad that he's my husband. Oh, man. That poor dad. He's like, come on. You're my firstborn son. He was super tall, the dad that he's talking about, was super tall and lived in a brown brick apartment building. Note, my son has never even been

in an apartment building and could explain details about this place. Whoa. Along the waterfront in our city here is an old locomotive. My son always says, there's my old locomotive. What?

Whoa. Even now, at almost six years old, he will say, that's my old locomotive my son always says there's my old locomotive what whoa even now at almost six years old he will say that's my old locomotive and explain details about it he used to talk about how his father taught him how to surf and all sorts of other things that i wish i could have recorded knowing what i now know from your podcast also first of all fucking crazy creepy i would be pissed if i just saw my locomotive somewhere else when it's clearly a vintage expensive ass car a locomotive is a train m oh it is what do you think it was i don't know where my head was limousine i wasn't even thinking of a car which is the weird part of that i wasn't thinking of anything just an old vehicle oh sure i mean i

guess it is an old vehicle. Choo-choo. I'm sorry. I'm just still heartbroken. A little over Jess. I know. She really dropped you hard. Sorry.

Sorry. She says, also, while I was a stay-at-home mom, I cleaned a giant old printing facility alone and felt like I was always being watched. It was never an ominous feeling, but I felt very uncomfortable because it was as if I was being judged. Oh. So like, your mom was just standing around the corner like, you missed a spot. Yeah, so it

felt like Christmas and you were home for the holidays? That's what it felt like? I contacted Connie and she said there was a grumpy old man named Harry and it was his business. I wasn't sure about that because it was my friend's family business which has been passed down from her grandfather to her father and now to her. Connie suggested that I just

talk to him and let him know that I was there to help take care of his business and that I would prefer if he left me alone while I did my work. No joke, I never felt anything again. I asked my friend who owns the business and she said that her grandfather co-owned it with Harry Haynes. No! The business is called Haynes called haynes what the fuck and no not haynes like the underwear she didn't say that but it's spelled differently so i'm just oh i got you before people say anything

if this makes it on the air somehow could you not read this last part um love you guys cheers and give geo a huge nuzzle for me jess oh thanks jess i was a little salty but thanks jess for nothing i'm into it thank you so much that's awesome although i do have questions for your child about his car train i'm gonna start calling if my my old vehicle is somewhere else yes all right okay i'm just gonna pick one oh my okay great this is the one i just randomly clicked on love it i mean we have them saved in a folder but i just randomly clicked on it cool um this is from julia okay hi julia the subject is the murder of my babysitter

ah fuck julia that's kind of why I felt that way. Hey, guys. The story that I have for you is mainly a crime story, but has some paranormal in it, too. Well, that's what we're here for, Julia. I mean, come on. Big J? Come on, Big J. Stupid.

She's going to be like, this is why. She'll be like, and that's why I fucking drink and never listen to this podcast. Sorry for all the mistakes. English is not my first language. Neither is. It's not Christine's either. is why she'll be like and that's why i fucking drink and never listen to this podcast sorry for all the mistakes english is not my first language neither is it's not christine's either if i've heard that excuse one time i've heard it a thousand times julia julia stop making excuses i'm not allowed to you're not allowed to when i was little i used to live in croatia during my time there i had this amazing babysitter who also happened to be our cleaning lady. Her name was Snisana.

It probably wasn't. It says pronounced Snisana. Okay. Her name was Snisana. She was the best babysitter you could imagine. We would play together, I would help her do her chores, and she would bring me toys, which used to be her daughter's. Although I didn't realize it at the time she was in an abusive relationship she would come to us with bruises and once she even had a bald spot after her husband had ripped out her hair shit my mom was close with her so she tried to help um herself knowing how terrible it is my dad is an abusive alcoholic throughout the five years she

worked at our house my mom managed to get her a great lawyer and help her as much as she could sadly at the end of those five years i was moving back to poland my home country from what my mom told me the divorce was going the right way snishana was really happy a year after we had moved we visited her back in croatia and i remember her saying that she was as happy as she could be the divorce ended and he wasn't allowed to be near her anymore what i didn't know was that this was the last time i would see her again two years after we had moved out my mom got a call from her friend she asked her what snishana's surname was and broke down hearing the answer the night before she was shot by her ex-husband while returning home from work after shooting her the man immediately killed himself with the same

gun apparently three months before he had started harass he had started harassing her again and here comes the paranormal stuff the night she was shot i was cleaning my room and the porcelain doll she gave me the day we were leaving fell from the shelf and shattered its head the same place snishana was shot in a few days four years will have passed from her death and i still have problems remembering she's actually dead. It's hard to me knowing she was my childhood friend. Love your podcast and can't wait for new stories. Peace out, Julia.

Oh, my God. Aw. Julia. That's very sad. That's super sad. I was really close with my babysitter, too. Really? Yeah.

Aw. That's super sad. That's tragic. Aw. Especially in an abusive relationship i will say it's nice that there is a a mix of both of our content there's a true crime and a paranormal that's a rare story to get that is very rare although i'm sorry that had to happen to someone you love me too all right you're up okay okay so this one is from alexandra. And it is titled, Help, I'm in the wrong universe.

Ditto, bitch. Let's all go. Let's all get out of here. Get the hell out of Dodge. I was supposed to be in the one where, like, pools are made of ice cream and, like, dogs can talk. Right, me too. Also, we don't, like, work and politics aren't a thing anyway i mean i feel like in another universe you and i were like god we want to live in a universe where we talk about ghosts

for a living there's another universe out there where we're like what's a ghost oh god i don't want to live in that world that's no that's no fun anyway we've made it about ourselves alexandra can't you tell i mean that's what we do that's the right universe it revolves around us so alexandra says listen oh my god listen so we will i'm listening my husband went to a college where they needed a sponsor his was a nice older woman that he had a good relationship with after he graduated and we first started dating he was attempting to get in touch with her but was having a hard time that's when he found her obituary oh i even remember him talking to his dad on the phone about the next day skip to three years later and it's my last winter break of college and we are taking a road trip from alabama to washington the route was through the southwest and up the west

coast um throughout all the weird towns late nights not knowing where the hell we were am i constantly being sick from a migraine and a stomach bug we made it to the washington coast in about a week and a half christmas day rolls around and we're chilling with the friends the friends oh you know those ones like you know ross and rachel i have so many of those uh we're staying with them when my husband gets a text he gets a weird look on his face glances to me and tells me it's his sponsor the dead one i suggest maybe it's her family or something reaching out he tells me that it would be weird because the text was in her way of texting he ended up calling and having a conversation like okay no big deal she's just back from the dead

i'm fully convinced that i'm in an alternate dimension or parallel universe probably something happened in the weird part of the u.s during a night on our trip and we or maybe just me ended up here what whatever it is i'm glad i ended up in the universe where you guys made such an awesome podcast me too keep drinking like the world is ending and give geo a good tummy rub for me cheers alexandra what that okay so he talked to her on the phone yeah so like shit my favorite kind of story which i have never covered because i would just get way too yeah invested in it is um glitches in the matrix that is my favorite subreddit whenever literally that's the subreddit i read whenever i'm trying to fall asleep and i

can't like reading makes me really really tired right so I'll just pick a subreddit but like my go-to one every time is which is in the matrix there was one I read um on reddit of this guy who he was he literally had a 10 year glitch in the matrix where he remembers everything like remembers his wife that he had the the kids that he made with that wife their house the town and everything and then all of a sudden woke up and he was 10 years younger no i never met any of them tried like facebooking her and she was a totally different person what like went to their town where like the whole house was and like literally found the house knew the entire like all the details of the house and had never actually been inside and there was a whole other family living there that freaks me the fuck out yeah those freak me out so much it freaks me out because like that's too many

people have experienced it for me it's not and it yeah and it freaks me out because like what if this is a glitch and like one day we wake up and we're like well that's the thing like what freaks me out is that it's out of your control and you have no there's no way of like controlling that like at least with a ghost you can be like oh i sage it or close my eyes or something yeah but like you could literally like definitely like no control and then like it's almost a reset button that you wished wouldn't get reset and you how are you supposed to go back yeah it's like well you don't even that's creepy anyway thank you alexandra thank you okay so this is from alia hi alia here we go the subject line is is it cheating if you get your steps in while you sleep no i say there's

no such thing as cheating when it comes to fitness i say why are you even having any fitness at all take shortcuts hi i'm christine and geo hi hi i just recently started listening to your podcast a few weeks ago i keep thinking i'm going to expand my podcast listen list but i always end up back with azwwd told you we're the gravity center of the universe yes i am recovering from a head injury what is all these people with head injuries i don don't know, and I don't like it. I'm really glad that we appeal to people with head injuries. They're like, I don't know why. If we ever do a live show, everyone's going to come all taped up. My doctor told me I need to be here.

Your voice is one of the only things that doesn't give me a headache. Well, that's nice. You're the only person to ever say that. No, yeah. So thank you. Listen. Okay. I have a strange story to share a couple of years ago i had an extremely long and vivid dream that i was walking around seattle i live in portland now but i used to live in seattle in the dream i visited all of my favorite

places and walked around the city for what seemed like hours when i woke up i felt a little disoriented my dreams are often very colorful and woke up i felt a little disoriented my dreams are often very colorful and complex but i felt really confused like i wasn't sure what was real so i look at my phone and it has it has one of those step counter things my phone then informs me that between midnight and when i woke up at 6 a.m i had walked 11 682 steps wow i wish my great angels were fucking taking me to the gym when i'm sleeping and i don't have to remember the pain i thought maybe i slept with my phone and moved it around but that wouldn't explain the number of steps it had been sitting in exactly the same spot as always on my nightstand guys this totally freaked me out i have never slept walked in my life

a fact that can be verified by my husband sleeping next to me. If my snoring wakes him up, I think my frantic jogging around the apartment in the dead of night would have woken him as well. Yes. My phone has never done anything like that before or since. So I still wonder to this day whether somehow the dream was real. Did I somehow figure out how to teleport to Seattle in the daytime and walk five miles? Friends and family assured me that Samsung step counter malfunction sometimes, but I just feel like it's too much of a coincidence to brush off.

Anyway, it's a mystery left unsolved. So far, I haven't met another person who had this happen to them. Has this ever happened to you? No, hell no. But it does sound like that story where someone,

someone wrote it in where they felt like the place was haunted and then all of a sudden they found a video of them walking around. Oh yeah, she woke up with a video of her feet. That sounds something like that. Attached is a screenshot of the step counter.

That is bananas. Out of 6,000. So you almost hit double. I like how your ghost was like, meh like less than 400 steps to go to go double double or nothing but i guess we'll just go to bed now that's enough but she burned 463 calories between midnight and when she woke up you know what maybe she wasn't doing any of the stepping maybe a ghost took her phone and was like i need my own fucking steps yeah it's like i like my fitness too i just wanted to like do a facebook live of uh yeah seattle um that is bananas i'm sorry that

this one really freaks me out for some reason like because astral projection and all that's very much like another out of control thing especially if she like remembers everything from walking around the neighborhood and like wakes up to all the steps on her phone that really freaks me out anyway too much thanks for providing the perfect place to share my story you guys rock and i'm looking forward to more great stories alia thanks alia hey listen that's just it's just what we do fresh um okay i've got i've got one more you've got one more. You've got one more. Oh, great. Great. This one is from Alyssa. Hi, Alyssa. Alyssa says, Hi, guys.

Hi. I love your podcast. Oh, my God. We love you. And always wanted to be featured on a listener story. Well, hey, girl. How you doing? We make dreams come true.

Anyways, I have always been terrified of ghosts and goblins and ghouls that's a little goblins really discriminatory of a lot of people there a lot of mythical creatures a lot of creatures that probably won't get you i chose not to associate with them due to the fact that i enjoy sleeping at night wow you're smarter than us wise but last february it felt like all the ghosts were ambushing me for not believing for so long what i'm from toronto canada why that you buried your lead i mean that's the thing should have started with that should have said i'm melissa from canada and let us know if you're pregnant up top because otherwise m's heart will break do i have a chance to become a canadian

member of the world that's right and in february i visited ottawa which is canada's capital don't talk to me like i don't know about canada's capital she's telling me the plebeian in the room i was with a few friends and we were on a budget so we stayed in a hostel oh it sounds like allison was on this fucking trip i'm gonna leave that in there allison loves a good hostel i do not the hostel was called the high ottawa jail okay well allison set this up clearly allison's clearly there right now this is gonna be me and allison's negotiation when i want to travel to canada she's like fine but a hostel we're staying in this jail slash hostel it happened to be the old jail that closed down in the 80s.

Little did I know that it was one of the most haunted places in the world. I'm scared for my own future now. God. The first night, I felt uncomfortable and uneasy because the place was really creepy. Just a side note, they used Ouija boards as decor. Ew. It's like Allison bought an Airbnb. You decorated it.

And this poor Canadian woman. And then Em shows up and we're like, surprise! You live here now. I was lying on my bottom bunk while the other three girls were asleep when I heard a jingling noise, almost like keys were being dragged against a set of bars or something. Ugh. I decided to... I'm sorry.

That noise you just made. That'll be actually... That's going into our new theme song. Oh, beautiful. I decided to brush it off and fell asleep with my flashlight on because, duh. Oh, wow. The next day, my phone stopped working. It would turn off and not work until I left the building, which was annoying to say the least.

Annoying or scary? It would die the moment I went to the bottom floor and wouldn't revive until I got up to another floor. Oh, weird. I was going to say it's probably the flashlight being on all night, but I guess if it turns on and off... Yeah, it's like only in the space that she needs it that it won't turn on.

That's just mean. Again, I brush this off and continue on. The night the girls said they wanted to play with a Ouija board in the room that used to be a solitary confinement space my reaction was in christine's voice nope i went back up to the room as i was feeling sick all of a sudden i was nauseous and throwing up which has never happened to me before as soon as i went outside for air i was fine since i was feeling so sick i went right to bed i woke up at 3 a.m

of course with my own oh my god with my iphone blaring some 1900 song that i did not have on my phone nor did i play before bed i'm sorry i got up to go to the bathroom and i started smelling heavy cigar smoke oh my god i decided to splash cold water in my face because maybe i was playing tricks on myself when i looked up into the mirror i saw a tall man behind me and i screamed no no i quickly exited the bathroom and crawled back into my bed i grabbed a pan from the kitchen in our room as a weapon good girl throughout the rest of the night i heard banging and jingling the next day we decided to do a tour of the old jail the tour got explained that it was haunted and confirmed all the things that i was experiencing great on the ride home i told my

friends about the figure i saw and they explained that while playing with the ouija board no they spoke to a man who had been wrongfully convicted when they asked him to reveal himself the board said ask friend m and they didn't realize they were talking about me at the time whole body is like covered in chills right now since this experience i've been spooked and have a firmer belief in the supernatural i hope you enjoyed this story there's more experiences i have to share until then hashtag team milkshake because i'm lactose intolerant and love living life on the edge thanks for reading xoxo alissa i like how she says i didn't tell them until the ride home i was like if i saw a fucking man in my mirror i would awake literally nobody would have slept that night nobody i'm dramatic enough to be like excuse

me you're gonna sleep not me so neither are you rough night at this hostel oh god and alison's not even gonna believe me i like i need you to go so that way when it happens you're there yeah but i'm the one using the ouija board so i'm the one causing all the problems you know if you ever get a ouija board that says ask friend you better not include me you better not by the way i'm waving at the room right now saying you better not you know what sucks is that she was like i don't want to do that yeah she was the one targeted oh and that's awful that really freaked me out that sucks that she was like she wasn't even in the room and she was the one who's like no thank you on the paranormal experience and then she had the fucking burn oh at three in the morning also the keys jingling on the bars is so creepy the thing

that's the creepiest though is that like they like the all the jingling still happened after she saw because usually when you have like that climatic experience where you see like a ghost all of a sudden there's no more activity stops right but just kept happening banging all night like it was shameless i would have been so pissed at my friend i don't know how they're still friends i would have i bet they're not oh my god i can't imagine lose them as friends by the way we're your friends now oh yeah all right i have a story from taylor hi taylor this is the subject line is story about the moon all right i like the moon for now who knows what the moon does in this story? Hey, guys.

So I've been listening to your podcast for a few months now. Even though I'm completely caught up, I still re-listen to episodes every day at work. That's so sweet. I'm always shocked when people aren't tired of us. I'm tired of us. Me too. You guys get me through my day. So this story is about my sister, Marissa.

I'll try my best to explain. Sister Marissa. Sister Marissa. I'll try my best to explain in a short story, but there's a lot that goes into it. My sister meant the world to me, and it was a really hard and devastating time when she passed away in a car accident a year and a half ago. Oh no. That's very sad. I still haven't fully recovered, but thinking of the last few months before her passing really gives me chills my friend peter was hitchhiking to california from pennsylvania

and his first stop was delaware delaware to visit me and my sister to say goodbye we sat on the beach and danced drank and just had a really good conversation we looked over to the beach and i swear the moon was sitting on top of the water it wasn't high up in the sky like usual but instead right in our face i mean it was ridiculous how huge it was i had never seen anything like it before in my life it was really something out of a movie we all joked around saying it was a sign that peter was on the right track going on his trip and that the moon was symbolic to his journey just a month or so later i was saying goodbye to marissa before i moved to philadelphia and we sat outside for a while talking.

We looked up to the sky and there the moon was again, huge and right on the water. I remember talking to her about how it was so weird the moon looked like that when Peter left and now again when I'm leaving. I remember thinking for selfish reasons that maybe it was a sign for me instead. Just a few weeks later, she passed away. a sign for me instead just a few weeks later she passed away the most spooky thing about it is that right after her funeral there it was again but now in a different place in the sky i know that it seems like a stretch but it's too spooky to ignore i remember talking to peter about it and telling him the moon didn't come down that night to say farewell to him it came down to say goodbye to marissa about three weeks ago peter passed away oh It's been a really tough time, but now I can't

help but wonder if the moon that very first night came down and kissed the water to say goodbye to them both. That was the last time they ever saw each other, and I just feel like it was the universe giving us all one last chance to sit in awe on the beach together. I know that they are both together now, and I'll be sure to look out for any other spooky stuff to come. Sorry for the really long email. Hopefully it wasn't too sad and emotional you guys are the best go team wine but don't worry i adore milkshakes too taylor oh that was sad at least they all of them bonded about the same thing during all of their final conversations that is crazy like all three of them together were talking about the moon yeah and then they saw it again and she was talking to marissa right and then it happened again she was talking to peter and it

was like all their closing conversations that's true i think it's amazing that she was like it didn't occur to me until later that like what it meant yeah because it wasn't like she was looking for that you know sometimes the world speaks for you wow thank you taylor thank you taylor and thank you guys for sending in all your stories we really appreciate it we've come a long way since having to text our friends five minutes before recording so thank you thank you for making that happen um we have just such a backlog of stories that we're getting through like we thank you everyone for sending in so many stories and giving us so much literal thousands um yes literal thousands just to put a little number on it just just one little four digit number with a comma somewhere in there just

a couple digits um we really are just so grateful that enough people listen to us and want us to talk about their stories and get them out there and and are willing to share with us and with everyone yeah so uh we are going to give everyone that donates a little shout out you guys have been you have no idea how helpful you're being and we say it every time and we're gonna keep saying it every time but thank you thank you thank you and you all deserve a shout out so that's what we're gonna fucking do we're gonna do now and also i want to add like some people have said oh can you make this out to my girlfriend or whoever if you go on your patreon account and change your name like your first name we read the first names change it to say whatever the hell you want

we'll read it out loud perfect it's It's up to you. All right. I'm not here for the glitz and glam. I'm here to just say your name. Oh, I'm only here for some glam. And that's why we compliment each other so well. So, to all the 25 donor, donator, patronator, patrons, whoever you are. To all of you golden saints out there. That's the word.

Creme de la creme we are going to say all your names with gratitude now boom beep boop bop pow elena ck tara brady emma v for victoria sarah jessica jenna del Colette, Riz, Anna and Priscilla, Lauren, Laura, Anna, Kimberly, Chris, Heather, Nicole, Kestrel, Amanda, Scott, Clinton, Jessica, Megan, Sabrina, Christian, Sierra, Heather, Ravioli, Ravioli Senpai.

I'm about it. Wait, say the whole name. Ravioli Senpai, Natalie, Mio, Monica, my aunt oh uh daniel elaine stephanie justin sarah ashley samantha hannah antonia chloe erin live tristan drea desiree amanda mr blaze tessa eric jennifer lisa lisa All right. Here we go. And for the $10. Of course I have to do this when I have a sore throat. Oh, I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. We can stop. You want us all just go home now? All right. Get off your high $25 horse. I'm about to read Team Geo. Thank you, guys.

Thank you, Team Geo. Here we go. Emily, Dana, Karen, Andrew, Julia, Michelle, John, Emma, Chelsea, about to read team geo thank you guys thank you team geo here we go emily dana karen andrew julia michelle john emma chelsea kelsey theron jesse stephanie the lost kitty tyler taylor jennifer meredith diana ash emma laura lauren mallory stephanie marilyn and doug joshua ashley madison tim asia griffin zell lisa m m hey keychain brooke rachel erin nicole evie abby jennifer kelly summer elizabeth alissa claire ally amber rebecca angelica selena robert mandy Andy, Tessa, Casey Lee, Renee, Amber, Siva Koi, Courtney, Kirsten, Molly, Vicky, Jen, Emily, Joe, Yifang, Chris, Brittany, T-Bones, Sarah, Alondra, Sophia, Sarah, Andrea, Amber, Nadia, Abby, Alexi, Tanya, Jojo, Kaya, Desiree, Chessie, Chloe

Kayla, Lynn, Haley Lyon, Skye, Sierra Lexi, Rin Adriana, Kelsey, Julia Jasmine, Becky, Michelle Liz, Brianna, Charissa Lillian, Amy, Ariane, Audrey Jen, White Collar Crimes Podcast

Susie, Summer Megan, Kendall, Jackie Jamie, Ankiara, Stephanie audrey jen white collar crimes podcast suzy summer megan kendall jackie jamie on kiara stephanie leah alissa ave emily spooky delight samantha hazel tau ashley britney courtney noelle lo sarah jenna lindsey erica laurie clara ricky anna cynthia carolina becca doll carolina oh sorry Cynthia, Carolina, Becca Dahl. Carolina. Oh, sorry. Cynthia, Carolina, Becca Dahl, Autumn, Carolyn, Kim, Anna, Rissa, Lissy, Sarah, Eve, Eduardo, Zoe, Corinne, Jordan, Kelsey, Sarah, Megan, Benny, Hillary, Alyssa, Amanda, Lily, Kelly, Danielle, Katrina, Stephanie, Katie, Stella, Kim, Meredith, Ruben, Sam, Cara, Brianna, Melanie, Jeremy, Karina, Jillian, Teresa, Cass, Cara, Jessica, Brittany, Katie, Sharla, Honor, Alexandra, Sydney, Charlotte, Ruth, Chelsea, Rachel, Dolores, Mary, Megan, Constance, Kat, Beth, Zara, Alicia, Devin, Laura, Michelle, Marissa, Anita, Lisa, Megan, Hector, Riley, Holly, Betsy, Jackie, Taylor, Jamie, Ava, Patty, Julia, Heather, Iris, Allison, Goforth, Aaron, Megan, Shannon, Batman. I mean, I mean, never going to get tired of that one. Nope. Beatrice, James, Kyle, Stephanie, Lindsay, Adi, Jessica, Jacqueline, Zephyr, Rachel, Jacqueline, Abby, Jackie, Leah, Callie, Jessica, Claire, Maddie, Marie, Amy, Hillary, Viviana,

Erin, Heather, Julia, David, Diane, Morgan, Amanda, Catherine, Sarah, Leslie, Taylor, Thank you. Emily, Teresa, Sarah, Caitlin, Wendy, Rose, Lauren, Jess, Aaron, Justin, Angela, Chloe, Caroline, Erica, Tuna, Alexander, Lita, Courtney, Haley, Nicole, Christina, Mia, Shannon, Tara, Adriana, Miranda, Jenny Lee, Morgan, Kayla, Emily, Libby, Carrie, Mish, Danielle, Brandy, Dawn, Haley, Kit, Kaden, Nicole, Sarah, Chelsea, Catherine, Shannon, Rosalie, Becky, Jack, Laura, Jackie, Danielle, Ina, Velvet, Elena, Alex, Ashley, Sydney, Carrie, Janie, Abby, Kayla, Tracy, Tammy, Justin, Raeann, Nicole, Rachel, Jordan, Nicole, Rachel, Jordan, Lisa, Rochelle, Allison, Colin, Erica, Lakshya, Carrie, Rachel, Beth, Angela, Lisa, Jessica, Judah, Kate, Sarah, Jordan, Wendy, Carrie-Anne, Ryan, Amber, Macy, Mana, Emma, Mary, Alexa, Erin from Canada. Hello. Fresh.

Crystal, Kirby, Anna, Serenity, Michelle,essica jay sierra lindsey mary caroline christy britney caleb andrea erin michelle jow ashley danielle elena molly erica willow julia mcf laura dobby kia erin tiana ashton linda mama bear elise marisol rachel cc johnny and renata how did you feel did you have a stroke did you black out at any point my throat fucking hurts to any of the people that we just listed if you have a better idea of how to efficiently say everyone's name by all means and we can't just pre-record it because people are added every week and yeah are deleted every week it's a good problem to have but also help us also is anyone still there no one i know all the sarahs left after the first sarah all right here are our wonderful wonderful wonderful five dollar reward patrons team sassy own it

repping my my clown school back in the day loves and laughs what up loves and laughs all right guys thank you to tiffany jody heather andrea tiffany maria ziggy callie dale amanda Ziggy, Callie, Dale, Amanda, Cheryl, Faith, Becky, Kayla, Danette, Hannah, Kirsten, Nicole, Aaliyah, and Jose, Lindsay, Abigail, Maggie, Anika, Lizzie, Allison, Andrea, Erin, Erica, Jelena, Christine, Vinicus, Vinicus? No, Vinicious. Vinicious, Raya, Megan, Ned, Shauna, Emily, Liz, Ashley, Jess, Amber, Rose, Christine, venetius raya megan ned shauna emily liz ashley jess amber rose christine danielle allison anthony andrea allison quincy kayla lindsey chrysia chrysia chrysor we mess this up every time trisor i think it's like chrysor chrysor i sound like i don't fucking know you sound like you're having another

chrysor laureline alphonses what's happening i don't know am i reading that right are my eyes going i think you're good alphonses sammy alice megan shelby jamie caitlin sarah linney jessica liz dd carly michelle dak Dakota, Bianca, Meg, Winter, Mariah, Eric, Julie, Jessica, Rachel,

Miranda, Crystal, Manda, Manda, Crystal, Quebec, Lori, and Drizzle,

Leslie, Benita, Sarah, Justine, Stephanie, Camille, Courtney, Megan,

Alyssa, Anjan, Dawn, Bella, Emma, Jordan, Kira, Goldie,

Danielle, Veronica, Kate, Rebecca, Julie, Emily, Emily, Shannon, Emma, Jordan, Kira, Goldie, Danielle, Veronica, Kate, Rebecca, Julie, Emily, Emily, Shannon, Brett, Sarah, Stacey, Jocelyn, Becca, Terry, Paula, Xavier, Lori, Judith, Shamblefest, Laura, Megan, Kaylin, Ashley, Amber, Amanda, Sumit, Bella, Alyssa, Justine Vanessa Melissa Sydney Alex Morgan Allie Allie Emma Joss Camille Sarah Mariah Stephanie Danny Brittany Danielle Hillbilly Horror Stories Eric Chelsea Coral Wynema Rebecca Jennifer and your brother Alex Schieffer hey hey all right team wine my peeps coming at you with your names yo luscious coming at you fellow luscious we've got jim ruth tempest jason erica lindsey db ashley it takes three brielle kelly darcy carol

nora heidi linda rachel sarah shauna wendy leanne jessica valerie maria amy ginny katherine lydia Thank you. Madeline, Val, Blanca, Amanda, Brenna, Nora, Alyssa, Elizabeth, Cindy, Veronica, Tessa, Selena, Melissa, That's KC Podcast, Annette, Laura Lee, Samantha, Lauren, Anna, Curly Top, Leslie, Katie, Gus, Xander, Tess, Rolly, Lisa, Chelsea, Rachel, Ozga, Jessica, Mimi, April, Nicole, Amy, Paige, Serena, Haley, Taylor, Emily, Aubrey,

Christiana, Robin, Mike, Lori, Ashley, Africa, Kathleen, Julia Marie,

Nick, Smackery, Shelby, my so-called whatever podcast, Heather, Jill Spahn, Andy C, Andy Du,

Brooke, Katie, Deviant Women podcast, Adrienne, Lexus, Athens Girl, Zoe, and Crystal is amazing. And that's me saying that. She is amazing. All right. Here are to my milkshake favorite, favorite luscious of them all.

We love you. My carbo loaders. My calorie intakers. You can keep going if you want. Well, let's start with your father bernhard and my stepmother elizabeth it hurts thank you also to ali emily whitney alexandra jennifer melissa madison ashley amanda madeline emma lauren i think it's mandolin mandolin emma lauren megan caitlin the flatwoods monster oh boy louis. Louie Leo, Maggie, Julia, Kimberly, Debbie, Allison, Elise, Madison, Molly, Rachel, Janet,

Matt, Abby, Sam, Natasha, Maria, Dogwood, Nightingale, Katie, Megan, Katie, Antonia, Sarah, Rachel, Sydney, Allison, Rachel, Sarah, Brianna, Mr. Norwalk. Noack. Fuck. Brianna, Mr. Norwalk. Noack. Fuck. Mr. Noack, Emily, Hallie, Regina, Justine, Kelly, Danny, Sierra, Bronwyn, Brittany, Angie,

Rui, Michael, Alex, Christy, Amanda, Kesha, Jessica, Bree, Jean Marie, Bangstrain Podcast, Aiel, Caroline, Laura, Bobby, at Wolfton, Sam, Carly, Shayla, Bonnie, Sam, Bianca, at Fiona K,

1990, Lisa, Jessica, Andrea, Sue, Toronto Lulu, Andy, Kirky's from Workies,

Patricia, Crime Crazy Podcast, Emily, Jerry, Derek, and Zach. Oh my gosh, you guys.

Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you. Thank you you you guys are all the best and also if anyone's still here which are you probably not aside from Zach who had to wait to be the last one luckily I know Zach so I can just text him thank you once a week that's fair that's fair he doesn't need to be here um but to everybody else if you really do have a suggestion for how we can say this in less than 16 minutes, that would be really appreciated.

16 minutes that took. That took 16 minutes. Fuck. Okay. So now when you guys, if you're even here, when you see that the listeners episodes take just as long as a normal episode, it's because we're just saying your names, which is a good thing. It's a good thing.

You guys, thank you so much. I can't believe we have this many people willing to support us. So. Thank you. You're the best. Thank you so, so much. All right. We'll peace out now peace out see you next month on the first which will be april 1st holy crap april fools see oh see on april fool's day or will be or will we drink woof