And That's Why We Drink - Listener Stories: Vol. 21

Episode Date: October 1, 2018

OK, we're seeing a trend here. We're definitely on a friendly ghost kick after a certain doll who shan't be named. This month we read listeners' stories that are fluffier than Gio's butt curtain and feature a financially generous ghost as well as a bitchy sorority ghost who steals your homework... and that's why we drink!

hello welcome to our listeners episode number 17 i think no way yeah wait aren't we way beyond that probably oh we yeah we just hit 20 recently didn't't we? Yeah. Yikes, I'm in the past. Hello, welcome to something. We are somewhere in... 21? Is that what you said? Yeah. 21. 21? I said two.

I saw your fingers. Eva held up the number two and then said, yeah, 21. I was like, I don't know what's happening. We can legally drink beer. Yes. Hooray. And also next week will be lucky number 22. So I'll be like, hey, hey, hey.

What was that sound? Did you hear that? I think Blaze dropped a beer bottle. Please don't worry. He's 21 like us. Okay, cool. It's fine. Okay.

Hello, world. Thank you for listening for the 21st time. Or the second or the 17th. Who knows? This segment of and that's why we drink this is very exciting because eva has select hand selected hand curated our stories she's been doing it for a while and fucking nailing it but this time she also figured out an order system like truly every episode since she started has just been like too much like i just can't even handle the stories and now this time she's like nope put them in this order also first this is um october the october one so happy halloween everyone

halloween our next episode our next listener will be like the day after halloween so like yeah woof this is getting into spooky territory and it's gonna be the next one that you hear will be us a week before we are regularly touring and i'm hyperventilating every night um all right well i guess we should go first eva says all right do what eva says time to crack into it are they all one pagers no this one's this one's a twofer god i love eva really i don't know okay eva you're fucking killing me right now you have literally okay we are recording this the same time that we are record that we just recorded our most recent um episode and also three hours after we made eva

show up to my house so that's good so i literally an hour ago covered casper the friendly ghost and the very first email i pick up the title is casper the financially generous ghost wait stop are you serious right now so apparently wait you didn't know your story either eve listen this is why we hired her she's clairvoyant and she didn't even know it she knows holy fuck that is what and she printed them out it's not like she picked them and she printed them out in big ass font because she knew my shitty eyes were not gonna be able to read them holy shit oh we're gonna blame eva in a good way anyway who who sent this it's their fault this is katie it's katie knew you're blind that's all well i'm just very stoked because apparently it's a casper

theme and it's a friendly ghost theme and i'm down with it even just like yep i was like wow i was like not sure if i was acing this job but proof that i am holy shit all right this is bananas so it's bananas katie says hello i'm christine eva juniper and precious baby boy geo i like how he gets all the qualifiers he deserves it he knows what's up um here's a short light-hearted ghost story for you all recently my boyfriend and i were visiting his parents and having dinner together for some reason that i can't recall we all began to discuss ghosts you don't need a reason i know never um after explaining how i caught the ghost that lives in my apartment on camera which is another story for another email my boyfriend's parents told us about an incident they experienced a few years ago where they met the generous ghost residing with with them in their home oh because they were preparing to

have guests over anita my boyfriend's mom was looking for her beloved snowflake serving plate sounds beloved i love it um i love it it's beloved i love it i know i heard it after tearing up the china cabinet and everywhere else that the plate could have been or it could have been put away she asked gary her husband if he had moved it he said no and also began to look for the plate the two gave up the search after a while and moved on a few weeks later anita walked through the kitchen to see the snowflake plates sitting out in the open on the counter get out of here she shouted to gary asking where he finally found it he came into the room confused by the question he hadn't thought about it let alone found it and the plate since they looked together or he hadn't thought about let alone found the plate since they looked together a couple weeks prior oh shit i need

a joke that it must be a ghost playing a trick on them well if it's a ghost gary said then maybe he can find me some money shit i gotta use that line and i are one gary the next day gary came home from work and opened the refrigerator for a snack you will never believe what he found a brand new one dollar bill one dollar a fresh well maybe he's from the 30s like the great depression dollars apparently next day's apple core a fresh one dollar bill was just sitting on the shelf inside the fridge he calls to anita and calls her out on her funny joke but honestly she had no idea what he was talking about the fuck now every time i'm in gary and anita's home i always mention that i'm a broke young adult hoping that the cash might give the ghost might give me some cash too bonus story one day before the plate and money incident occurred anita google searched the house's address to learn about its history

in the 1950s the man who lived in the house hosted carnivals for the neighborhood in his backyard is this me or is this me i was gonna say i used to do that when i was little he would eventually die in the house so we have this carny to thank for the dollar that appeared in the fridge money and food are my two favorite things and carnivals because of the ghost thing i think i'm this ghost in the future you dude casper the financial this is you yeah uh as a girl who loves true crime paranormal activity and all of the conspiracy theories in between, this podcast is so much fun to listen to. Thank you all for keeping me company while I traveled throughout Europe and Africa this

summer. What a babe. And that's why we drink often help me forget about my loneliness. Oh, honey. Please give Gio and Juniper belly rubs and kisses for me with love, Katie. Oh, my God. Katie and Casper. I just love them so much. Katie Katie the friendly listener uh I love her and I love that story that's a good one I also

love that Eva nailed it that was good even knowing that was really wild that she I bet Eva she printed this out before we did our stories Eva didn't really care who was gonna read that until I said I'm gonna well totally because she organized them while we were talking she was like ah i know who's gonna read the casper one now but just even the fact of having a casper story out like we've never done that before nailed it um and i loved it like the carnival thing my friend selena and i used to host like the wolper carnival and we would like weirdly force neighbors again we you wouldn't have had to live in kind of the inner city and it was like not a place where people would just kind of like hang out but we would like weirdly force neighbors again we you wouldn't have had to have lived in kind of the inner city and it was like not a place where people would just kind of like hang out but we

were like we're gonna have a carnival and what was your biggest turnout um like three strangers showed up and my mom was like please don't let them into our home and so we had to stop rad yeah and we uh yeah it was not pretty and not good. Um, but we tried. We just wanted to host a carnival. Okay. I mean, look, you're now best friends with a professional clown. So like, if you want to ever try it again, let's go.

Listen, if we had been. This fucking podcast is a carnival. You know what? You're doing it. It's, it's a, what is a, what are those carnivals called where they're actually like really, really. Freak shows? Yes.

I'm like where they're kind of fucked up yep that's the one you know um in my fredericksburg county fair they still have a freak show oh woof yuck but they don't call it that anymore actually i think they got rid of it in the last couple years but i remember when we first moved to fredericksburg i would go to the county fair and there was absolutely a freak show section in there um they were all animals not humans so at least it was like nobody's feelings were they were like let's move away from humans i do remember there being a bearded woman but she was very confident about it so like i don't whatever she was getting paid to be herself even back then like the beard i feel like that was like a very also there's a lot of bearded women in the world it's not like that no exactly now it's not a

freak show i mean quote unquote it's never a freak show but well the um the freak show was mainly animals so it was like there was a two-headed cow who like he came every year and he was pretty cute like i was gonna say both of his faces were really cute what a babe don't make a hamburger out of him um they didn't they just but i feel like that's like darwin of like, hey, I learned real quick. You're not going to make a hamburger out of me if I have two heads. Right. He like spliced his neck together so he could really make sure he survived. To survive. Yeah.

There was. I know science. It's fine. Yeah, of course. Right place. They also had a two headed cat, which was also very cute. They had a two headed cow and a two headed cat. Yeah.

And they had a cat with six legs. Woof. That was wild. But this was, like, back when I was in, like, kindergarten or first grade. Because I remember even then being like, where the hell am I? I was like, this is a weird tent I walked into. Like, preschool has taught me this is, like, probably not cool. Yeah.

But then I, now they've changed it. Now the only thing they have that's, like, amazing for your eyes is they always have these two horses that are, like, I think they have giantism. Because they're, Allison saw them. I had her come with me to the fair last year. And they are literally, they're, like, the size of a room. Like, they're as tall as this room. It's like, if that horse kicked you, your whole chest would explode chest would explode horse even tried to hug you you'd probably be dead well that's why imagine the butt curtain i'm already scared of horses to begin with um yeah yeah i was

telling you actually about the uh recently i think i was telling you like how in key west yeah we were talking about florida and i was talking about key west and how my friend selene uh her mom and stepped out have a house down there. And I went to visit and we went to Ernest Hemingway's house, which was super cool and also super haunted. But they're all six toed cats. And so like he like had six toed cats and they kind of just like repopulated. And so the whole property and they're like these super cuddly, like friendly cats. So you walk around the property and you're just kind of like taking pictures you sit on a bench and they just kind of like lay down

next to you six little toe beans they all have six toe beans it is wild and so precious and they're all super just like chill and friendly and they just kind of lounge around and like don't bother anybody and like down with it if you just hang out long enough they kind of come and just lay next to you and they all have little six toes and they said it's just a genetic thing and they've kept it in the family like that and i just thought that was super sweet but you can tell because they walk and you're like something is wrong about this cat and they just have like an extra toe but they're super sweet anyway my turn yes sorry that went wait i think oh i turned okay yeah you said to turn from the top okay cool listen i need eva to direct everything that i do i'm very confused about life eva is our life coordinator

yeah okay this subject is i met a witch and she told she told me to quit my job so i did this is my journal entry eva where did you find Speaking of which, there's a happy baby Geo. Buddy. That's a baby bug. You heard me talk about six-toed cats and you got jealous. He was like, there was a witch in here? Go sit with Eva. Baby Geo.

Come here. Go sit with Eva. Sweet baboo. Geo. Hi, baby. He came right for Funko. Like creating a tornado with his tail. Oh, what a happy baby bug.

Geo. Are you whining? Is that why Daddy with his tail. Oh, what a happy baby bug. Gio, are you whining? Is that why Daddy let you in here? It's a baby baby. You're such a drama queen. Look at those happy ears. Gio. Gio, go sit with Eva. She made an entire Come on. Gio! Yeah.

Come here. Yay! So fun! You're so talented, Gio. Oh oh he's so good oh my god what a drama queen oh happy on sweet bud oh okay anyway a witch a witch made a declaration and everyone followed suit is what i heard no and then geo walked in and everybody didn't care anymore okay so i'm in a witch she'll make my job okay cool exactly how my life has gone so far this is from alexis hi alexis who was your story from again did we say katie katie okay so this is from alexis um hey podcast legends all right well wow fanning myself i have myself on just grew five feet we just climbed onto a mountain pedestal okay my name is lexi and i've been obsessed an obsessed

listener for about a year now and wanted to thank you both and eva and geo for your amazing geo just showed up for that i'm sure man. For your amazing podcast and stellar selves because I absolutely adore you. That is very precious. Thank you, Lexi. We adore you, too. Anyway, I'm emailing you guys now because I also quit my job last weekend. All right. August 12th.

Conveniently. Also, my birthday. Happy birthday. Virgo. No. No. Cancer. Cancer.

Yeah. I'm hitting the cusp. Not quite. 12th? Oh, I thought 21st. switched around yeah 12 um for very similar reasons to you guys i thought i would email in because i feel like you would appreciate the story of why i decided to quit oh yes i'm sure i will let's hear it at the end of july i went on an rv vacation to the northeast leaving my job at my local wisconsin gas station behind. I know you're paying attention to Eva, Em, but like pay attention to me for five seconds.

I watched them sit very well for a photo. So I was just like inherently proud. He's extremely like obsessed with himself. So people sit very still if you're taking photos. Look at him. He knows he gets like, he gets love if he like is good for photos. Sorry, you were saying you were at Wisconsin. I was distracted and then you were distracted.

So I was like, well, now I have no choice but to join you. Okay. At the end of July, I went on an RV vacation to the Northeast, leaving my job at my local Wisconsin gas station behind. I've been working third shift under a really awful manager and plan to quit in december after we received our christmas bonus it's been quite a stressful summer because i had been juggling the gas station job a giant nope not a giant oh a grant i received a giant named grant oh wow that's rough a grant i received to research the history of women at the world's fairs in San Francisco. Wow. We got some themes going here. Amazing. Yeah.

Right. An online math class and heading the research department of a developing art studio. Okay. Yeah. Otherwise she, in other words, she had a lot of time on her hands and wasn't doing very much. Her planner was wide open.

What a lazy bum. She's like, I quit for the same reasons as you i'm like really right yeah uh because you're a legend really i don't think so alexis but nice try needless to say i was ready for this vacation my favorite place we went to and the one relevant to this story was salem massachusetts i just stopped breathing while we were there i really struggled to let go of all the many things i knew I should be doing. But thankfully, my lovely boyfriend pressed me to relax. One of the things we did while in Salem was go to the Crow Haven Corner Witch Walk.

I don't, I, I want to. What is that? I want to be there. What is that and how do I get involved? Give me to that right now. Get me a plane ticket to Salem. Eva. Eva.

Eva. Crow Haven Corner is, according to to them the oldest witchcraft shop in salem and it was just a gem of a place they gave us free lemonade okay okay two things i love hold on just happened in one sentence eva reserve a day check check check check they gave us free lemonade that gives you an idea of how they operate i mean i mean they operate exactly the way i need them to when we went on the witch walk the the practicing witch, who is also our tour guide, said if we wanted to stick around afterwards, she would give us a personal blessing on a free crystal.

Christine, but we actually literally need, we can expense this now. Are you ready for the next line? If it's free, I am interested. Also, we are too. Alexis, do you want to be our best friend? We are too. So I stayed afterwards expecting the usual gimmicks, of course, but man, was I surprised. She gave each of my boyfriend's siblings a different blessing and each of them, including

him, were shook to say the least. When she got to me, she said something along the lines of, you are trying to do too much. Focus on the things that are important and get those things done. If you remember the beginning of the story, I was being slowly buried under so many commitments and it was in this moment I decided to quit my menial and difficult gas station job and focus on my last year at college and the new business agape studio which will be launching mid-october i mean if a witch in salem gives you lemonade and tells you to quit your job you've listened to the witch if she gives you lemonade take her advice i mean i mean hansel and gretel didn't do so hot with that but i will i love it um

i remember getting dinner and just completely freaking out with the others who all said she pegged their biggest issues to a tee it was spooky but also really empowering last year i studied abroad in greece with five other girls and we all fell immediately in love one of the girls tiana recommended this podcast to me oh thanks tiana it was an arts can you imagine in greece someone like recommending her that's just you like, there's so many other things to talk about in Greece? I'm just like, Greece is my favorite place in the world. And the fact that someone talked about us in Greece is just, like, so beyond my comprehension. They were like, hey, have you ever heard of these legends?

These podcast legends. Oh, my God. It was an art school, and all of us had unique talents and skills. So we decided to put those into a multidiscipline art studio where people could order custom painted portraits including pets looking at you baby g oh happy baby he knew why he was in here he literally came waltzing in here no other time tonight except for when he was like i sense my name's gonna get said a lot already asleep on eba's lap resumes and business cards and professionally research and design family trees i realized much like christine in this episode that i wouldn't be able to devote my whole self to this fledgling business

if i still worked somewhere else so thanks to the lovely witch okay not me right the other witch okay so thanks to the she's got really thrown nailed it so thanks to the lovely witch who made me realize that also it's really cool because i get to look at bunches of old headstones researching dead relatives thanks done find a grave.com anyways i'm so sorry this ended up being a dickinson novel but man i had to share because i got so excited when i heard your news retrograde really got us this time that's for sure oh my god wait can retrograde really got us this time be a shirt retrograde really got us this time man okay but wait i demand that be on a shirt even write that down even actually write

that down so later i can text you and be like what was that shirt i was busy giving geo like a two-handed head massage sorry thanks again for everything that you do i hope you guys are incredibly happy with your new highfalutin producer jobs i know i am lexi ps though i adore strawberry milkshakes the four bottles in my fridge say I'm team wine. Lexi! That was well written. God, we have so many gems writing us today. Retrograde really got us this time.

That's a sentence I could say a whole lot and never get sick of it. Just hearing you say that and seeing Gio get a head massage is just exactly the image that I equate it to. Is that the image you think the witch would have had for us when we were overworked? Completely. You need to think of your dog and talk about retrograde. Handing us a glass of lemonade and being like, retrograde really gets you this time. Here's free lemonade and blessings. Retrograde gets us all, you know, every now and then. All right.

Your turn. This is from Abby. Hi, Abby. Oh, and it's called Episode 76 of Vendaya Grum, where I saw a first ghost. Where I saw my first ghost. Okay. We did Vendaya Grum. I don't know why we said that, but we did say that.

It was involved in something at some point. It was a thing of the bar and the... Oh, because it was a... We made a stupid... It was like a cellar. There was a rum cellar. Yes. We made a stupid joke.

And you made a better pun than I did. That sounds about right. And I bowed down to you. Correct. For once. For always, please. Hello, Em and Christine. I just listened to this episode because I listened to them out of order, unwise.

Wow. You are probably so confused all the time. Get it together. I just randomly picked this episode after about a month of not listening. Are you trying to insult us left and right? Eva, are you trying to insult us? Eva, did you want me to read this out loud, broadcast it and have my feelings hurt all at once? Um, here's some lemonade. To my surprise, it was about the Pirate's House in Savannah, Georgia. Yes, that's the one I remember. Yeah, the the the rum seller my dad actually owned the pirate's house shut up years ago and i have so many awesome stories from there okay she's picking picking up the ball again okay we'll take it i saw my first

ghost there and i was actually touched by something i was upstairs in the old jazz bar one afternoon and my cousin had left the room to go downstairs behind the bar upstairs there was a shit ton of mirrors no and i saw this big white mask just fly in front of me and the only reason i saw it was because of the mirrors absolutely not great when i turned around there was nothing behind me that makes me wonder when there aren't mirrors near me by the way like correct exactly what the fuck is going on behind me i only saw it because there were eight million reflections yeah but otherwise i wouldn't have known. Fuck. When I turned around, there was nothing behind me.

It scared the shit out of me. There was also a pianist who used to play there, and her name was Emma Kelly. The piano she used to play is still up there. At least it was when my dad owned it. And there was a myth saying that if you played the piano right, all the keys worked. But if you went up there and just started hitting random keys the piano would not play it was like don't fuck with me it's like do it right or don't do it at all oh it sounds like my piano teacher would be like just fucking hate my grandma was really good at playing the piano and she tested this theory and it actually worked the piano would not work when she sat down just hit random keys but when she actually played a song it worked

perfectly one time i was sitting at the end of the bar down in the main dining room and there was no Piano would not work when she sat down and just hit random keys, but when she actually played a song, it worked perfectly. One time I was sitting at the end of the bar down in the main dining room and there was no one sitting next to me. It was a slow afternoon and I felt something dig into the top of my shoulder blade. And when I turned around, nothing was there or even close to me. Ew. The back dining room used to creep me out. I would never go back there alone at night and I used to charge people $5 a tour of the tunnels. That's right. Entrepreneur.

Amazing. I really wish my dad could find some of the creepy pictures he had taken down there. I really enjoyed this episode. I also attached a photo I took on a tour about four years ago. A tour she paid or sold? Yeah. Oh, she made someone pay for it? Oh, he was getting the photo.

I also attached a photo I took on a tour about four years ago of the Pirate's House. I don't know about y'all, but I see a little boy's face in the window. I also attached a photo I took on a tour about four years ago of the Pirate's House. I don't know about y'all, but I see a little boy's face in the window. I put it side by side to a picture I snapped right before. No, I just love Gio. He's so annoyed. Is that a happy belly? He's so high maintenance.

Ooh. I don't like that. It's in the bottom left corner of the first picture. Okay. There's definitely something there for sure. It looks like R-O-B-E. Nope.

No, it doesn't. Robert? No, it doesn't. Ha ha ha ha ha. It kind of looks like Robert to me. It looks like someone that we often see. I mean, come on. Like, let's be real.

I'm not looking at either of those in that direction. Do you want me to take him? Nope. my goodness okay well that is creepy i love when people who are very personally associated with the stories that we talk about when they write in because it's cool to get that account it is it's like oh my dad and it's kind of an honor that they like actually listen to us and i love when they're just like yeah completely it's like you could have turned this off it's like thanks for telling a story on this topic that like is part of my entire family history yeah exactly oh you're welcome why am i think why am i why are you thinking me right you know right yeah no i totally get that um and i always get nervous when people are like

oh i'm somehow affiliated with the thing you told i'm like right great i probably offended you and everyone you know sorry well anyway thank you abby that was really really cool i love that she charges people five dollars for a tour that's called an entrepreneur yes yes um okay that's called a business major a bit correct that's called a witch in salem who gives you lemonade and then makes you that's an entrepreneur it takes the crystal that girl got her mba in business oh i love it so much um okay this is from zoe hi zoe this is called listener story my parents knew the kansas city butcher and oh this doesn't get better in the rest of this after it just gets worse after the comment gets worse and the hat man in my bedroom let's let's all form a

prayer circle let's all sing let's just pass holy water great the entire time hi y'all one of my friends recently turned me on to your podcast and i'm bouncing back and forth between new episodes and old episodes i love everything about your show and can't decide between team milkshake and team wine. Apology. I mean, whatever you want. Is that your subliminal message? Milkshake. I mean, I just feel like me drinking a lot of wine is enough of a subliminal message. Your subliminal message is the sound of you pouring multiple glasses every recording. Exactly, exactly.

Anyway, I was talking to said friend the other day and remembered something my mom had told me in high school. Back once upon a time when my parents were still married and living in Kansas City, Kansas, not Missouri, but close enough, they would go down to the Westport Flea Market on weekends to browse the stalls and get lunch at the restaurant inside. One stall they often frequented was Bob's Bizarre Bazaar. Love it. Bob's Bizarre Bazaar. It sounds like a place I absolutely want to go. It sounds like something I invented on The Sims. oh i love it i do like it a lot my mom told me they picked up a number of things

at the stall including an old wooden ouija board great remember that it comes back later yeah we will uh remember the ouija board i just mentioned yeah right okay yeah i'll try not to forget the name of the stall should sound familiar to anyone up on their midwest serial killers it was owned by none other than the kansas city butcher himself robert oh great i'm glad i'm like oh i invented that in my head nope nope sorry robert burdella for those of you who don't know robert burdell okay woof robert burdell kidnapped tortured killed etc yeah oh remember from yep i remember zach it's the one from the museum yep i remember yep yep yep yep yep he had a whole room about this scenario case yep okay sorry robert burdell kidnapped tortured

killed etc young gay men in kansas city in the 1980s he was also intensely fascinated by the occult and filled his stall with oddities and curios from around the world his mo was to drug kidnap and restrain young men and was only caught because one of his victims escaped christine please do an episode on this all right i will say we saw the room at the zach baggins museum where they had like they actually had items from the torture chamber the bed sheets they had the bed the bed sheets that still have not been washed and the last victim's fecal matter is still on the mattress and i was extremely disturbed by that room and i think that was one of the moments where i thought like maybe i'm gonna let this one not like let it slide

let it be for a while because there's like his actual weapons and pictures and it's just personal it's not like anything it's just it was too much it was a weapons and pictures and it's just personal it's not like anything it's just it was too much it was a lot for me and i think for now i'm not gonna cover it anytime soon but i'm i'm very fascinated with it i'm not saying you know i don't just when you're in a room with all the actual things it makes you can feel the energy and you're like oh shit i never want to be near this again i wanted to step back for a while so i i'm very fascinated by it not to say like it's not interesting to me. It's just like maybe I don't want to research it.

Right, right, right. ASAP. Thanks, Zach Bagel Bites. For really fucking us up. Not, I mean, in so many ways. Okay. Sorry. I love you, Zach.

Please love me back. Okay. It's all I've ever wanted since the beginning of Twitter. How many times do I have to ask? Okay. So anyway, that's what it says. I didn't say that, but also, so anyway. When I was in junior high, I honestly don't know how this came up, but my mom mentioned

to me that she and my dad used to hang out and chat with Bob Berdella. Oh, fuck. With Bob Berdella on weekends at his stall. Like, I periodically forget that this was a thing and then remember it and just kind hang out and chat with bob or dell oh fuck with bob or dell on weekends at his stall like i period periodically forget that this was a thing and then remember and just kind of freak out because what the actual hell my parents were friends with a serial killer so remember that ouija board i mentioned earlier no yeah we do it was a super old school wooden one like the planchette was wood and everything and it was honestly aesthetically very pretty.

But also like, why did my parents even buy that? But wait, there's more. My parents not only bought this thing, they hung it in their bathroom. This is me. That's like such a grandma move to be like, I don't know what it's for, but it must be a great wall hanging. But it's so aesthetic. It's made of pine. Let's put it on the wall.

It's a weird clock. Someone didn't finish making their clock so here i am a wee child bopping around this house staring at a ouija board on a regular basis while i'm in the bathroom and what happens but i start seeing shit the big thing was the hat man uh here we go i have a theory about this but i'm gonna come back to this so the hat man if you're unfamiliar are we unfamiliar no we're not nope uh somewhere fedoras or oh zach baggins nope okay zach baggins is the hat man i imagine that they're friends but is zach hat the bagel bites man maybe bagel bites man where's fedora i don't know i'm just saying okay uh somewhere bowlers somewhere fedoras or trilbies the hat

man for me manifested my bedroom the best place mostly it was as a feeling of not wanting to be in that room while it was dark out because whenever i was in there at night i felt like i was being watched even if the curtains were closed and they were always closed i hated sleeping in there so much i would actively sleep in the living room when i slept at my dad's house i feel like i literally wrote this entire path mom are you listening it reminds me of your story because my mom to this day is like you are 26 years old why do you come home and sleep on the couch you don't need to avoid your bedroom but i'm like i have been avoiding that room for 22 years it has traumatized me and she has the nerve to be like you know what it's because you moved your bed in high school to that other spot in the room you just need to move it back and

everything will be fine i was like explain the first 15 years before that just move your spongebob toys to the other side of the room and everything will be fine um oh no nope not gonna happen but no i know exactly what you're talking about because that is the only room i ever grew up in that's i have the exact same experience yeah mine's movie story when my dad's girlfriend moved in though i was informed that I had to sleep in my room and that there was nothing to be afraid of. Well, there we go. Yep. That was incorrect. I believe you.

Me too. One night, I woke up in the middle of the night to find that the paper lantern that hung over my bed as my only source of light had gone out. I usually left this on because I read before bed and would intentionally fall asleep with it on so it wouldn't be so creepy in my room unfortunately either someone had turned it off before they went to sleep or the light bulb had burned out on this particular night and my room was pitch freaking black there was a little bit of ambient light filtering through the curtains from the parking lot behind the house oh god that's the worst kind of parking lot light okay so then freddy krueger steps out. Yeah, exactly. But just enough that I could make out the shapes of my furniture from it.

As I'm laying there trying to go back to sleep, I start getting the feeling of being watched. Like all the hairs on my neck and arms stand on end, I turn my head to look at the rest of my room and freeze. Oh, God. Between me and one of the windows is a dark figure that seems to get darker as I watched. Like I said earlier, the figure that formed was tall and appeared to be wearing a top hat sometimes i think i remember having red eyes and staring at me but i'm not sure if that's actually what happened or if it's stories i've read since coloring my memory either way i was very aware that this thing was staring at me and i was frozen i stared back for

a while afraid to take my eyes off it that's true like are you like do you stare to make sure it doesn't come at you or do you close your eyes to like look away yeah god that's just terrifying okay before my instinct to hide kicked in and i pulled my blanket up over my head and curled into a ball slowly the feeling of being watched receded and i went back to sleep when i woke up i tried to tell my dad and his girlfriend what happened but they wouldn't listen they told me it was just a dream after that though i made them get me a nightlight so there was at least a small amount of light in my bedroom at all times i got one at my mom's house too even though nothing there ever scared me anyway i mentioned earlier that i had a theory about the hat man or at least my encounter

bob bradella died oh god here we go bob bradella died in 1992 in his prison cell i mentioned his fascination with the occult and it seemed to me that someone like that probably had some kind of connection with the things he sold i almost wonder if some part of him didn't latch onto that ouija board and decided to take up scaring the bejesus out of small psych psychically sensitive children living not far from where he used to hunt. Woof. Oh, used to hunt. That house has since been torn down, and gods alone know where that Ouija board went,

but that presence is still hovering around the land there. I went back a couple of years ago, sort of a closure kind of thing, and it still feels creepy. I feel bad for anyone who picked up that Ouija board or decides to build on that land. Hopefully no one else experiences what I did, but I doubt that's the kind of thing that only happens once. Thanks much for reading my story all the best zoe oh god thanks zoe what the frick that's a wild ride i hope you're okay thank you zoe

all right last but not least is jaylen jay. Jalen says, or the title of the subject is, Witches in Haunted Sorority House. Okay. Promising. Did you give this to me because I was in a sorority? Is there a reason behind this? I mean, I was going to say. Wait, what? The voice.

Oh. Duh, Em. What do you think? I thought it was because I was literally in a sorority. I mean, well, that's part of the voice, right? That's true. Yeah, I mean, it's literally all connected. That's where it came from.

Like, why do you think I don't have a sorority voice and was never in a sorority? Okay, valid, valid, valid. Because it's not part of that life like you are. Okay. I just love that the girly one in the group is like, what the fuck is wrong with you? I don't have any of that. I'm Christine and sweet baby geo okay i'm eva if he is bothering you please just like kick him off he's being so dramatic every time she just kind of

like moves away he just shoves his body into her like pet me more oh what a demon no but i believe it okay seriously if he bothers you just like kick him off truly okay it's such a like dramatic child he's a queen he's just a queen he's such a fucking queen like you ever wonder if he's gay yeah all the time i bet he's gay but also they took out all his like genitals so i'm like i don't know if he even has like um a sexual drive for anything maybe he's gay. But also they took out all his like genitals. So I'm like, I don't know if he even has like a sexual drive for anything. Maybe he's just maybe he's asexual, but he's got a little a little sass. Oh, yeah. I mean, I completely think so. I don't think he'd be opposed to a little drag racing.

You know what I mean? Completely not. I mean, look at that butt curtain. He's kind of just hoping for the culture to find him. So he's just waiting for someone to pick up on it. I'll be the new next, the next new thing. You just wait world. He's like, I'll wait.

Okay. I'm Christine and sweet baby G I've been binge listening to the podcast the past few weeks and decided to submit my story. I drink because I ran into people I've been actively advising from high school while drunk and made a complete fool of myself and lost my Fitbit in the process. Wait, hold on. How do you lose your, okay. How do you lose your Fitbit? Okay. Cause I lost my Apple watch. I lost my Apple watch at my last alterations appointment at my wedding dress. Cause somehow it just got like flung off my body. Beautiful. But I was in a contained athletic whip of the rest. You must've have done i'm just wondering how you lose a fitbit in a exchange with people well she did it drunk so oh i love it anything is

possible when you're drunk just so much remember that time you lost your social security card and your insurance card and your license and your credit card all in one sitting in different places of the bar because i do remember when you found them yeah Yeah. I was like, Christine, what's this? Christine, what's that over there? Actually, you were like, Blaze, what's this? And he's like, yep, that's Christine's social security. And I was like, what about that shiny thing over there? Is that Christine's too?

And then he was like, Christine, how did you lose your social security card over here? I'm so embarrassed right now. Okay, let's change the subject. So anyway, that's how you lose a Fitbit. Okay, I regret challenging anybody. what's her name not christine i want to make fun of her now uh their name is jaylen their name jaylen i want to make i don't know i don't know about the i want to make fun of them instead of me well too late um anyway for a little background context my alma mater has a very interesting past it has been

rumored that the college started as a school for witches and was called second salem at one time jaylen shit eva's on this like witch shit this month i love it he was fucking on fucking amazing second salem well can you imagine if you went to a fucking i'm actually a little mad that's literally this world's hog well i was gonna say i'm mad that like we didn't come up with that for this room like this is second salem i mean this could be this could be third you know but it doesn't have this could be this is like the safety school this is safety salem it's not very safe it's not safe we're just your social security card isn't fucking safe it's the least least safe. It's all the Salem's. However, back when it began, it was a teaching school.

So obviously educated women equals witches. I mean, a thousand percent. Like the second you have any sort of empowerment. I mean, me and Gio are in a room with two witches right now. There are some. Thank you. We're very grateful for that. There are some weird coincidences that reinforce this, such as the campus being in the direct middle of three cemeteries in town. Oh, oh perfect street lights turning on and off when you walk past the haunted

water tower where they supposedly drowned the witches rest in peace and a mysterious book in the library that is rumored to tell you how you die where is this harry potter where is this book i don't know but i want it's like a magic eight ball where there's multiple options and you like choose your own adventure or is it like is it a blank book and if you stare at it long enough like a mirror you just find out like right it's like tom riddle like yeah i was gonna say i want that and then i was like i actually want the op i don't want to know i don't want that yeah i don't know no i don't think i don't even know a version of that that i want no i just want to like i know about that i would want to know like how many steaks do i get to eat left how many how many do i have i mean you ordered six

for my wedding night so we'll see imagine if it said zero okay oh no that's dark m don't make me think about that my sorority house has also has some cool history as it was once a part of the underground railroad wow haunted amazing our house is haunted yeah um i was like call that please our house is haunted by one of our founding advisors mary that's actually really cool she doesn't really do anything too mean unless she thinks you're doing anything immoral oh my gosh she doesn't say well don't worry she doesn't do anything too mean unless you're being immoral she doesn't like swearing or sex in the house. Oh, my God.

So we're fucked. Can you imagine if a ghost stops you from having sex? What does it have to do? We're swearing? I mean, Jesus. Oh, we are. Fizzucked. We're basically in big, big, big trouble with Mary.

If you do, you have to say, sorry, Mary. Imagine while you're having sex if you go, sorry, Mary. Oh, no. I'm fucking sorry, Mary. My Catholic self is just like, Mother Mary. Imagine why you're having sex if you go, sorry, Mary. Oh, no. I'm fucking sorry, Mary. My Catholic self is just like, Mother Mary. No. You have to say, sorry, Mary, immediately. Otherwise, all of your stuff will go missing.

Oh, that's just really passive. With nobody else. Fine. That's fine. You want to have sex? You clearly don't want pants, so I'll just hide them. I'll just hide them. No pants for you. Oh, my God. don't want pants so i'll just hide them i'll just hide them no pants for you oh my god um uh with unlike mary as the sorority bitchy sorority girl excuse me it's mary thank you marie with two accents over the y you also don't need pants

um with nobody else in the house i hit my knees on the table while on my way to the bathroom and cursed very loudly and didn't think of it tis pissed oh when i returned my notebook that i was just doing homework and was missing luckily i q magic oh i can't i can't give you my homework professor because my ghost stole it because this professor's like you've tried everything in the book you don't understand i had to pee and i swore i said i said what the fuck you said your grandma died enough times that now you're saying her ghost got you okay luckily i had other stuff i could do until mary decided to return it to me after i apologized she'll also turn lights on and off whenever she pleases just to remind us that she's still around we have motion sensor lights which we've checked

multiple times and they are not faulty not too exciting but a little proof that not all ghosts are scary what is with this theme today i literally did a whole thing today it's actually well you know what i think happened is that you fucking traumatized everybody last week and eva was like hey should we talk about uh people who were affected by harold and you were like no i was like so she's like great why don't we swing the pendulum the opposite direction the exact opposite you and I both said yep let's also do that separately and then uh this happened this episode was born anyway thank you Jalen thank you Jalen and thank you Eva for picking stories that were like just top-notch highly entertaining and also grade a not about demons in my home great look we're all

trying to avoid that at all costs at this point because none of us know what's gonna happen and to be fair like we recognize that a bunch of people were fucking traumatized by what happened i apologize again no no no and i'm just saying we're not saying that didn't happen we're just saying we're trying to make things happy again we're not saying it didn't happen we're just saying we're trying to make things happy again we're not saying it didn't happen we're just saying we want to ignore it and christine's saying it's not my fault so blame okay oh my the subject of this one a story fluffier than geo's first someone's calling you out baby geo's like i'm sorry i was actually in the middle of a massage from Eva. Look at him. He is ridiculous. He's like drooling off the side of the couch.

I went to go pet his face and my hand got a whole bunch of drool on it. He's a little comatose. He's in a comfy comatose spot right now. Hey, I'm Christina and the handsomest boy that's you that's buddy boy i like how he knows like i know i know he knows i feel like just how he knows the word w-a-l-k he also knows the word handsome he's like oh if you say it yes you're talking about me he just like closes his eyes like yeah that's me is that so funny is this on my eyes he just went his eyes shifted from one

side of the other i've never seen an eye roll that big since i was 13 it was actually pretty wild how his eyes did that i am pretty shocked by that um i've been listening to your podcast okay this is from shannon hi shannon i've been listening to your podcast since the beginning of the summer and i was like oh the beginning of the summer. And I was like, oh, the beginning of time. Oh, we all had different thoughts. The land before time. Nope. Just since the beginning of summer.

Thank you, Shannon. And it's the best thing to listen to at the gym. I wouldn't know. So you want to go sweat and work out and exert energy and listen to us. That's a lot of triple torture. That's called a lot i love love love you guys oh and i wanted to share a quick but heartwarming ghost story yeah warming i mean we all did this out of fear we all did this out of clearly eva was like he

was like frantically nodding like yes yes we were all out of fear he's like thank god just say it just add one more he's got the crazy eyes like i, I don't care. She did look at us like, yep. She was like, haha. Oh my god. Okay. Heartwarming ghost story. My grandmother on my... I like how none of these are like...

I mean, there's that one murder. She slipped one in the cracks. But the rest just like appeased to the Christine side. But then the rest are just like, good ghost. Okay. My grandmother on my mother's side has had alzheimer's for almost two decades and has been in the late stages for years she hasn't known my name a while and doesn't speak coherent sentences anymore sometimes she'll nod or say yes or no but she

doesn't really know what she's saying this is important i promise about two years ago one of her siblings ellen died very unexpectedly she got sick on a wednesday and died that sunday it was obviously very sudden and her family was having a rough time due to my grandmother's condition no one was sure if they should tell her about ellen's death oh that's sad how do you even yeah that's true how do you how do you approach that right because you don't want to like really upset them but it's... One, she may not understand. And two, if she did, it would be unnecessary to give her that grief at this point in her life. A day or two after Ellen's death, my aunt was visiting my grandmother in her nursing home when she suddenly said,

Ellen came to see me yesterday. My aunt immediately sat up and took her phone out and began texting ellen's daughter what she was saying my grandmother still looking at my aunt finished her thought and said she said she was very sad to leave but she's very happy where she is now cowabunga dude holy fuck the fact that she has barely spoken a full sentence in years makes the story feel all the more real plus she hasn't spoken like that since yikes wow although i love the idea of heaven as much as the next person this is one of the only things that makes me truly believe thank you for

the awesome podcast and i can't wait to hear and hear the next show s ps i wish you both the best and christine the patience for being a newlywed wig face that's really beautiful and my dad's mother has severe alzheimer's and doesn't remember his name and he's been like through all like over the last 10 years has been just through so much struggle of like at the beginning she like remembered him and then like he'd call and she'd like pretend to know who she was talking to yeah no my my gammy just hit that mark um a couple weeks ago where she's always known who we were and then like a couple weeks ago my mom talked to her and apparently that was the first time my gammy didn't know who she was yeah so like it's on its way yeah so like i think everyone knows someone who's affected by that yeah yeah it's very common it's very hard but to not be but to not be speaking and then just have a full sentence about someone

you knew from your past and it's just amazing they were like we don't know how to broach the subject and then she's like hey i'll talk about it she's like i'll handle it for you she's like listen i know more about it than you do so it's fine that's pretty awesome that's a crazy story like because you got two two gifts and like you know where one person is and one of them was able to actually say goodbye. It's comforted in that way. Yeah. I love that.

I really liked that story. Super cool. Oh, Eva's so good at this. Okay. Okay. Uh, thank you for listening to our listener story. Number two, two, one or seven or whatever the fuck we are. Um, thank you guys.

It's, it's October 1st. So got to get married in 12 days. Help me Lord. Thank you. Uh, also Shannon, thank you for helping me send me patients cause I need it. I'm sure.

Um, that's all I got. You do. We're going to, I don't know what day October 1st is. Who the hell knows? It'll be up. Oh,

you'll, you'll catch it. Another episode. If you're listening to this, you, you know, an October 1st is. Yeah. So another episode will be up oh you'll you'll catch it another if you're listening to this you you know in october 1st is yeah so another episode will be up soon anyway within the next seven days and that's why we drink