And That's Why We Drink - Listener Stories: Vol. 24

Episode Date: January 1, 2019

Happy 2019, everyone! Or as Christine is singing, "2019... is here". We've got a fresh batch of spooky listener stories for your new year's listening pleasure and they include an FBI/Furby follow up, a real life horror movie intro, a haunted house plant, a reincarnation story, some demonic masks and sleep paralysis to the 90s George Lopez show. We also check off items from our 2018 vision board and receive a new, amazing tag-line from a listener, so now we're "basically Buzzfeed Unsolved but with more wine and screaming"... and that's why we drink!

2019 is here. I'm gonna hold on with my claws for dear life to that stupid song. Well, happy new year. Happy 2019. We did it. We haven't done it technically yet yeah you're recording this i'm manifesting a whole month it seems i'm vision boarding audio audio what do you what do you think is in the future for us in 2019 um so much travel that we're gonna want to punch each other in the face every day every day we're gonna be tired of each other yeah yeah i can't wait i can't wait to look at your face and want to vomit yep um i'm already there but hey and um what else i think um i think eventually in 2019 at some point we should arrange a trip where after we have had a break maybe before we like if there's ever a time we have a break we should then find time

to actually go travel together and like like a fun like a fun trip how fun would that be way fun no work like no yeah manifesting it right now okay also manifesting by the end of 2019 we'll have like a tv deal in the works oh you know what else i want that's a good one yeah let's put another vision plate yeah does anyone know about the vision plate i don't know if we ever told about this no but, but also we never totally finished it. I don't think. Did we? Well, actually, we both signed it.

We signed it. I mean, we didn't check off everything on the list. Yeah. So we have the vision plate in front of us. Okay. It's basically a disposable plate that M wrote because we couldn't find an actual poster board. So M wrote a vision. I wrote it on a Dixie plate.

Yeah. A Dixie plate. So it says live show. Check. The fact that when 2018 started, we hadn't done a live show and it wasn't even in the works. Live show check. A celebrity knows us. This was February of 2018.

And actually you wrote. What did I write? Oh, you wrote February 2017 to February 2018, forgetting that we were already at February 2018. Oh, yeah. I hadn't changed the date yet. You were in the wrong year. Wrong year. Well, February 18, live show check. Celebrities know us we've got lisa uh-huh at the very least we've always got lisa also you've been tagged in an instagram post with amy schumer

oh and josh peck and i josh peck told me to have a um he's like he said he subscribed to our podcast by the way and he wished me a great honeymoon so i feel like that's something i know and lisa talked about our show on his podcast oh very cool that's good um also m can quit that happened that definitely happened although we should have been more specific m can quit their job not this podcast right right please don't quit uh tv deal okay so that's gonna have to that's gonna have to travel over to 2019 that rollo over um be on a billboard we've been on the wilshire not the wilshire wilbur wilbur don't ruin it wilshire boulevard is is a street in la we've been on the uh big digital billboard outside the wilbur yes in boston yep a couple people have sent us pics which is so cool including blaze's brother's girlfriend who said she ran across in like 19 degree weather ran across traffic to get a photo for us so that was cute very cool and full-time

career damn wow we almost fucking nailed it what else do we need uh tv okay tv show well we're behind on that well it's okay we have other 2019 we have a lot going on right now that'll be top of the list of 2019 i love it okay so what, so what else? So this year we have, hopefully let's just roll over the TV deal situation. Yeah. Although we were on a YouTube TV show. That was cool. We had a deal that we would meet somewhere and record a YouTube show one time each. So yeah.

That was cool. Technically, yes. Happy half hour. Yes, for Brett Ehrlich. And then, oh, I know what I want to manifest. I'd love to manifest an international show. Not Canada, but like overseas. Rude. I want to manifest. No, we already have that, I know what I want to manifest. I'd love to manifest an international show. Not Canada, but, like, overseas. Oh, rude.

I want to manifest. No, we already have that, I mean. I want to manifest more Canada. Well, sure, but that's attainable. I want to manifest, like, Australia, UK, like, overseas. I want to manifest a sleepover in a haunted house with you. Oh, fuck yeah. Oh, yeah.

Let's manifest, manifest like an investigation that would be cool yeah i mean okay we can tie this into that trip we want to make i want to manifest a meeting zach baggles no you know how poorly that's gonna go right he would absolutely turn around and walk away i'm gonna cause a scene and a half um I'm not one to cause scenes, but wow, it would be rough for everyone. I want to manifest at least one snuggle fest with Gio. You can make it work. I know you can. I know you can make it happen.

Also know that my new place is doggy friendly. That's true. There's no reason to not bring. You should manifest a baby G visit. Okay. All right. All right. So thank you guys for listening to the first listeners episode

of 2019. Hooray! Only 11 more of these after this and we will be in 2020. And we will have a TV show and meet Zach, be best friends with Zach Baggetts. Yes, you got it. Great. So, until then, here is the first story of 2019.

This one is called Another Government Agency Furby Story and a Ghost. What is it with all the government Furbies? I'm so fucking amped. Thank you, Rachel. Also, I think we got a tweet. I don't know if you saw it. No. So there was a previous story in a listener's episode where we talked about how someone's uncle worked at um

was like a cia agent or worked for the fpi or something and he called fpi fbi sorry i'm just the furby patrol investigator you got it and um he in the story he apparently called everyone he knew just like get rid of every furby and then just hung up the phone and so we got a tweet from someone who said i can confirm that i am like married to a cop or my cop's a brother and he also called us no way and said make sure you throw out every furby well i hope that's not this story because then we're really spoiling it whoops all right wait can i add one thing too before we start rachel's story is we got an update from the last listener story as well i don't know if you saw this about the rudolph remember the note the bright red light

yeah the nose and and she was like oh and she had to pee and we were like well did she have to pee because i was like did you have to pee afterwards she said i can confirm that her pants were back up remember yeah well we knew that already i Okay. I'm just trying to give everyone. It's been a month. In the story. Yeah. She, uh, her pants, she was on the, she had to pee and then she saw this Rudolph. She didn't remember what happened. And then, um, next thing she knew she was still on the toilet. Her pants were back up.

And I said, well, did she ever pee or like what happened? And she said after that, when she woke up, she didn't have to pee. Oh, so something happened in between there. And then she no longer had to use the bathroom. Extra creepy. Extra creepy. Mm-hmm. All right.

Moving on to Rachel's story. Okay. It starts in all caps with Y'ALL. That's when you know it's good. I'm currently listening to the December Listeners episode. Oh, we just talked about that. Oh, weird. As soon as I heard about Furbies at government intelligence agencies, I knew I had to share

my experience. My dad worked for an intelligence agency, and when Furbies became popular, he came home one day and told us that someone in his office brought in a Furby, and it was confiscated because it started repeating top secret information. What? As far as I know, it is still in that building, probably in a vault somewhere. Holy crap. I never wanted a Furby because they are the spawn of

satan but my dad banned them from the house in case he talked in his sleep and it overheard something it wasn't supposed to know that's when you know you're a legit agent where you're like i don't even trust my own subconscious i don't even trust myself wow now for my fucking terrifying and super sad ghost story oh boy oh well that took a turn my that was a sharp left turn my brother has always been sensitive to the supernatural and while he never talks about them now he had a few terrifying experiences when he was a kid and here's one of them uh the year was 1996 and we were living in sandy utah um yes i grew up in mormon insert book of mormon musical quote here um yes i grew up mormon Insert Book of Mormon musical quote here.

Yes, I grew up Mormon. My brother was 10 and I was 7 and we were playing inside our split entry house. I ran downstairs and he was following me, but he stopped at the top of the stairs to the bottom floor. As soon as I got to the bottom of the stairs, he started screaming. I turned around and he was pointing at the corner next to me and i and kept screaming my mom came running to see what was wrong and he collapsed on the floor and on the floor and started full body sobbing oh my god when my mom asked what happened he said there was a girl covered in blood standing at the bottom of the stairs holy shit she said there was an accident and she can't find her parents my mom assumed it was something he was doing to mess with me and told him to go to his room. Not five minutes later, we heard tons of sirens outside and all went out to see what happened.

We could see a big intersection from our deck and we saw at least five ambulances, a medical evac helicopter, and a horrible accident. Oh my god. a medical evac helicopter and a horrible accident. Oh my God. Turns out a Mormon singing family gotten an accident and three of their kids died at the scene, including a 10 year old girl. When my brother saw this, saw the picture of the girl in the paper the next morning,

he said, that's her. That's the girl I saw yesterday. We had never even seen this family and didn't know anything about them until that day. After that, my brother wouldn't go to the bottom of the floor for at least a month and still won't talk about that day and trust me i've asked i still wonder if that little girl found her way and it makes me sad to think of

how scared she must have been anyway now i'll make it awkward to end give babies g and j lots of love for me and my emotional support cat ruth bader i'm sorry i'm sorry i'm sorry i'm still like i know we'll get there hang on i'm reeling give babies g and j lots of love from me and and my emotional support ruth bader ginsberg y'all get me through some really rough times and bad thoughts and i can't thank you enough for the laughs and gasps i am for sure team wine but still have a good milkshake too from rachel okay let's's, let's, let's break this down. I haven't breathed in two and a half minutes. So apparently this little girl could astral project in her last seconds of life.

Or no, the accident. Or it was a ghost. She could have wandered. Oh, she could have. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like as a spirit. Yeah. Or some shit.

I don't know. I see. My thought was that she might still be alive. And in her last seconds, like, somehow, like... Well, she was bloodied. Mmm. You're right. Or, I don't know. I just, I'm so over, I'm so, like, that really took, threw me for a loop.

Wow. That one was dark. Saying, I can't find my parents, and then there was a freaking accident down the road i'm very blown away by that story and i agree i really really really hope that she was able to move on and yes wow that's sad thank you kind of rachel wow that was what what a way to start 2019. Also like the brother, that's so traumatizing. I know. That's so, and you can't even explain it away later. Like there's no way to cope with like closure on that.

Yeah. It's like, oh, I saw this now and this is how I get to, this is my memory for the day. And there's no, for my life. Right. Right. And there's no way to like closure. You can't be like oh well the girl found her family like you have no fucking clue it's just right hanging there in your subconscious

for the rest of time right great well i hope he uh is able to see a therapist because wow that's rough yeah wow okay well right that took a turn i saw the furby subject and thought we were in for a barrel of laughs. A barrel? Nope. You were wrong. I wonder, you know how my favorite murder does? I don't know if you've listened to it in recent months, but like they started doing their mini-sodes where they say like, and now send, we also want to hear things in walls, and we also want to hear like creepy neighbors, or wait, your parents almost killed you.

I feel like ours is just paranormal true crime and uh furby government you're right conspiracy stories the children of cia troops uh reach out to us no but just furbies just oh right they've only been just the furby patrol agency investigators thank you yeah okay uh the fpi fpi so wow okay that was a roller coaster yes it was this is a story sent into us from kate hi kate hello i'm christine eva sweet baby babu and little juniper my name is kate and i don't think i've binged a podcast as quickly as yours safe to say you've become my favorite oh like milkshakes wine paranormal and true crime and a puppy uh yes please i'm team all of those things oh yay so are we the most

terrifying unexplainable experience of my life could go either paranormal or true crime but unfortunately i don't have the answer and never will why are these people doing these unsolved things to us i don't like it still gives me chills and makes my heart race thinking about it feel free to use my name long but okay too late we already did sorry long but worth it here we go i live in denver and my best friend rented a cabin airbnb for the weekend about two hours away in a town called leadville there were four of us her her boyfriend another friend of ours and myself they all drove up friday night i followed saturday morning because i had to work late friday i get there around noon and we head into town to do some touristy type things in the mountain town

we're out for the day and head back to the cabin around seven the cabin's very nice as most airbnbs are well decorated and furnished three floors including a loft five bedrooms and a basement converted into a separate apartment it was a few miles up a dirt road with gates you have to get out of the car to open and close there were a couple other houses around but still in the middle of nowhere with very limited cell service set up horror movie we get back make dinner watch a movie a scary one because of course no don't do this to yourself you gotta go watch up or some shit if you're in a scary place like that me too and i go downstairs to the separate apartment to go watch up or some shit if you're in a scary place like that me too and i go downstairs to the separate apartment to go to bed because i'm exhausted of course you're sleeping in the

separate apartment right i fall asleep watching a movie and i'm awoken by an extreme i'm awakened or awoke i'm awakened i think and i'm awakened by an extremely loud bang and my roommate screaming her head off fucking hell i'm sorry nothing good is about to happen nope i grab my phone and it's right around midnight i send her a facebook message you good homes lock the door and send a quick emoji holy shit let me send her a quick snap let me just text her a question mark oh my fucking god my bitmoji will ask what's what's up right right holy crap okay i send her a facebook message because it's quieted down and figure something had fallen and scared

her no bullshit i call bullshit right right you literally thought that there was a murderer i don't blame you right and you were like hey i'm gonna like stay down here tell me you're alive um i'm just gonna stay far away but i can hear her and her boyfriend talking, okay, through a vent in the floor, and the next thing she says makes my blood run cold. I didn't fucking touch that. Someone is in here. What? I hear them walk towards the stairs to me and knock on the door.

Hey, Kate, you decent? I'd be like, open the fucking door, Kate. Let me in. We need to check your doors and windows i'm all like what the fuck is happening she says i don't even want to tell you because you won't want to stay here well that's a good oh no uh kind of already don't so she goes upstairs and i look to her boyfriend he says so when you first got here besides the front door did you see an antique pickaxe hanging on the wall what i hadn't but they had well we just found it next to our bed

okay wow apparently they were going to bed and saw it propped up against the wall with the metal part up top i'll attach a photo but this is a very large tool and could easily be used as a weapon they both denied moving it upstairs so he carried it downstairs to see if there were two of them possibly and then they saw it was missing from the wall he dropped it at this point i have all my shit packed and i'm ready to bolt i've seen a lot of horror movies listen to too much true crime and i know better good girl we're all talking in the living room together they are trying to convince me to stay i'm trying to get them to leave okay i would be like i don't even have time to tell them to leave i'm gone yeah yeah you don't need to come with me homie bye i was convinced someone had been in the house while we were out for the day finally i asked her boyfriend to follow me

in his car down the dirt road to the main street my roommate says i don't want to be here alone what if they come back while you guys are gone and i just say that this is exactly the reason to leave right now whether someone is fucking with us as a joke or if it's meant to be malicious, this whole situation is fucked up. So can we pause for a second? So the fucking pickaxe had been downstairs. They all watched a scary movie, went to bed. And when they went upstairs to bed, the fucking pickaxe had been moved into their bedroom next to their bed. I literally would have left all of my items.

The only things I would have had are my car keys and my fucking phone. And the zillow app would have been fucking downloaded before i even hit the car the what app the zillow app i would have been looking for brand new apartments oh like the airbnb app i you're not like rent like purchasing a new home oh i i know i would get the fuck out of there that day the zillow you know what the zillow app is right to rent apartments oh yeah well they're on vacation they're at an air oh yeah well they're on vacation they're at an airbnb oh fuck they're at an airbnb i thought this was their apartment apartment no no i was like i'm not living there no they're in a cabin on a trip so there's literally less reason to stay than like there's no reason oh you're right you don't even have they're on vacation

yeah well yes the worst vacation yes but they don't it's not like oh all my stuff's here it's like i just have a duffel bag like go don't stay there anyway whatever which is even scarier because it's not their home so like who knows who has a key who knows who can get in or who had been hiding since the beginning uh-huh oh fuck off with that no thank you exactly okay i don't think i even would have screamed i would have been like okay yeah bye see you later okay so we need to uh it's all fucked up we need to leave and i realize i'm right and they realize i'm right and given it's about 12 30 now and we still need to clean the place up and whatnot no you don't leave leave leave finally we all walk out together a little after 1 a.m these people are people i know very well there is no reason for me to think one of us did it especially after

they all agreed we needed to leave remember it was a two-hour drive back to our house in denver the house was paid for the whole weekend and we had a whole day planned the next day we were all super freaked out but thankfully out of the house and heading home jump to the next morning after we get up and are moving around my roommate says so i found something else when they had gotten there friday night all of them had seen the axe on the wall and made a comment on how odd of a decoration it was they went to bed upstairs got up the next morning and before they went out for a walk my friend had taken a bunch of photos to post online of the cabin one in which you could see where the axe would have been hanging it was already gone so this means whatever had moved it had done so while they were in the house sleeping.

And where it gets weirder, she had her dog with her, and if someone had come into their room while they were sleeping, he would have had a fit and woken them up, meaning either someone had been moving around in the night or they had just hidden somewhere in the house while we were there. Oh, no. Basically, we have all decided that someone squats in the house when no one is there and got caught by surprise when they showed up and grabbed the axe for either protection or as a weapon we had only opened the door to the kids room twice it is completely possible someone was hiding in

there oh no regardless of what we think or what it could be something moved a very large heavy weapon in this cabin in the middle of nowhere. No fucking thanks. This is why I'll never go to a cabin in the woods again. Way too the hills have eyes for me. Thanks for reading. Hope you enjoyed it. Keep being amazing at what you guys do.

Cannot wait to see you guys here in April. If you have time, check out the Molly Brown House Cheeseman Park in the Stanley Hotel in Colorado. Thanks. Bye. Kate. And here's a picture of the axe. Oh, shit. It was hanging there and then it was not hanging there.

That's like a three and a half foot axe. It's not like a little thing. Jesus. Okay well I like how their like their theory is like oh yeah Squatter was doing it for protection not like oh someone could have been murdered. Absolutely. At least it's the most like calming

of all theories instead of like oh someone intentionally airbnb's this it's like truly what people were afraid of when airbnb started of like totally someone that's a murderer could just literally have you come into their home how do you trust a stranger jesus that's horrifying oh my goodness okay this is from Shania. Okay. I'm pretty sure I was possessed and I blame my mom and devil worshiping masks. Wait, I'm pretty sure what? I'm pretty sure I was possessed and I blame my mom and devil worshiping masks.

Okay. Just want to make sure I got the whole thing. Okay, good. So Shania says, Hey guys. And especially hello to Gio. My name is Shania. Yes. I'm named after Shania Twain. I was literally going to say like Shania Twain.

I bet she gets that every time. I love that. It's like every time Celine says her name, people are like, Celine Dion. And she's like, no, not really. Well, apparently this one's actually named after Shania Twain. I love it. I do too. Shania Twain's one of my favorite singers.

But she says she doesn't like country music, so never mind. Oops. I've recently discovered your podcast just this month and i've been binge listening to the whole to all of the old episodes while i study for my finals aka i'm not studying at all thank you you're welcome um i absolutely i absolutely love all of the paranormal stories and i figured i might as well share some of the stories that i've experienced this all starts with my mom when she was a teen, she started practicing witchcraft. She would regularly use a Ouija board to contact spirits and demons and she would get paid to read people's future. So many weird and unexplainable things happened to her. But that's another story for another time. Anyway, she met my dad and eventually

got pregnant with me. Only she didn't know until she was three months along yikes so much for telling people's futures um during this time she was still regularly practicing witchcraft and she was considering selling her soul to the devil what what i'm sorry i didn't know i thought we were on like a light path of witchcraft not a dark path of witchcraft yeah that turned sharply yeah as someone who like one of my parents practices witchcraft i did not expect devil worship to come into this that's actually not how i associate it okay good to know during this time she was still regularly practicing witchcraft and was considering selling herself to the devil how do you weigh the pros and cons of that like literally what i'm just considering it it's like it's maybe maybe something that my i'll vision board it and see what happens oh my god but

thankfully after my parents found out i was on the way she changed her mind and i you saved her you did and my dad convinced her to start practicing witchcraft can you imagine blaze being like christina like i love you it's just that like i'd rather your soul not be part of the eternal underworld but also thank god your mom like like a kid wasn't gonna stop her you know because like if you're someone who practices like like dark witchcraft i would imagine like selling a baby to the devil is like just as oh i say you know i see it did sound like a two for one deal right you don't have to even sell yourself sell your firstborn exactly it's already here and i hear your firstborn is like the most precious thing you can sell. Right. And I hear that her name is awesome.

I hear that it also represents country music. Uh-huh. Um, my mom believes that- Maybe the devil is like, mm, no thanks. Even the devil's like, mm, should I have a twain? I don't think so. Over it. My mom believes that, uh, by her being in contact with demons while pregnant, she opened

doors for me to be a target. God damn it. Hashtag thanks, mom. So fast forward to 10 years ago. My mom has had four kids now, one of which is my little sister, Faith. Like Faith Hill? I wonder.

Or like, okay, sorry, God. I know I did some- Yeah, that's ironic to practice dark witchcraft and then have a child named Faith. Uh-huh. At the age of three face started having an imaginary friend but we all believed this was actually a ghost or a demon great those are gonna be my fucking kids being like imaginary friend nah dude that's a demon nah i know better faith would ask my parents if stacy the friend's name could spend the night anytime stacy spent

the night my sister's toys would go off and would go off in the middle of the night and in the mornings um every drawer and cabinet in the house would be open. Yikes. Faith and I also shared a room, and our closet door would open up on its own. Fucking hell. Faith also regularly has night terrors, and my dad even saw Stacy, and he describes her as a little girl that eerily looks exactly like my other sister. Oh, no.

Anyways, one day, I got fed up with this Stacy, and I yelled at my sister that she wasn't real immediately my sister lost it and started screaming and crying she said don't say that you don't know what you've done now she's going to hurt you oh no yikes so obviously i was scared shitless can i hire okay instead of a like an au pair nanny nanny, I'm just going to hire a priest. Oh yeah. To live in my house. Probably for the best between the two of us. I'm just going to hire one to be on call at all times.

I had a really hard time falling asleep that night. Stacey had been around for a few years at this time, so I wouldn't sleep in the dark. Good call. I don't, I didn't use a nightlight, so I would always leave my TV on. That way there would be background noise as well. I don't remember falling asleep, but I must have because I vividly remember waking up and seeing the most fucking millennial thing i've ever heard in my life i vividly remember waking up in the middle of the night to see the intro of the george lopez show on tv i was like what show could it have been most iconic um i tried

i feel like in the demonic world like here we say like like, oh, 3 a.m. is like the witching hour. But like in hell, it's like, oh, and George Lopez plays. That's our cue. I bet you that's when they play. That's our entrance cue. Oh, where are we? George Lopez. Let's look for his name.

There it is. George Lopez. I wonder if he knows, like everyone knows him as the witching hour intro. Like, I mean, nobody does until we just said it. Didn't we just? And then everyone remembers that one night where they, like, woke up to, like, the George Lopez intro being way too loud. Being like, mute. Where's the mute button?

They're all jumping on trampolines. Oh, my God. I tried to sit up, but I quickly realized I could not move. Oh, it just got dark. Can you imagine sleep paralysis to George Lopez? No, no. this is trauma this is so bad oh my i immediately remember how we had a furby thing now it's sleep paralysis to george lopez these are the two categories that we will accept there is no in between no fucking in between almost instantly i felt the presence of someone standing right next to my bed fuck me it was george lopez it was george lopez the little girl at the end of my bed um i tried to move my head to see but it was no use i then heard

a little girl laugh good night goodbye forever the laugh grew louder until it sounded like she was right up in my ear oh god the little girl then whispered in my ear, you can't see me. All you have to do is turn your head, but you can't. You'll never see me. M. M. I'm so mad that Blaze works till 2 a.m. tonight because I am literally not going to sleep. As soon as she said the last word, my body shot up and i hit my nose

into my knee because i've been pushing so hard to get up oh my god i thought maybe it could have been a dream but i looked at the tv and sure enough george was still on i told you're like consciously aware of oh fucking hell this is terrible i told my parents about this and my dad a man who isn't one to be scared of ghosts, got so freaked out that he ended up calling a priest. Thanks, dad. Thanks, priest and dad. To come and inspect the house. Turns out that my dad had unknowingly brought home devil-worshipping masks from when he was deployed in Somalia.

Oh, my God. Oh, my goodness. So thanks, dad. So we've got a thanks, mommy and thanks, dad. We sold the masks and Stacey disappeared. Now, fast forward to this year. They sold them. Don't give them to somebody else.

You don't have to tell anyone where they came from. Just get rid of them. Why? I guess like what are you going to do? You can't burn it. That might like do something ritually. That's very true. Now fast forward to this year.

I now know that what I experienced was sleep paralysis. I'm not sure if i really experienced a ghost or a demon talking to me or if my consciousness made it all up but i was so terrified it like at that point doesn't even matter that's yeah it's like it happened enough for you it happened in your reality that's terrifying that being said i've lately been experiencing sleep paralysis regularly oh my god no every single time i see a dark shadow in the shape of an abnormally tall man move to the end of my bed. Hot man. Sometimes.

Shadow man. Sometimes I'm able to move my mouth and speak to him and sometimes I can't even blink. The first time it happened, I yelled, who the fuck are you and how'd you get in here? You need to leave. And he walked out of the room. The next few times I didn't say anything and tried to wake myself up. This happened three more times until I moved out of home. Until I moved out of my home. Now I live in an apartment apartment with my boyfriend we have a huge walk-in closet in our

room oh we have one now too and i fucking hate that thing i check our closet literally every night yeah with a flashlight we have a huge walk-in closet in our room and something about it feels off anyways one morning i woke up to my job my dog jumping on the bed i quickly fell back asleep but not without noticing that the closet door had been opened a sliver i figured out i figured my boyfriend had just forgotten to close it all the way before leaving for work and went back to sleep i'm not sure how much time had passed but i soon woke up and sure enough i was experiencing experiencing sleep paralysis again i couldn't move my head but i heard the creaking Oh, fuck. It's okay. it's okay it's okay it's okay my dog started barking and i opened my eyes only to see the dark figure fall onto me

i immediately had a splitting headache i mean like worst pain in the world type of headache my whole body was shaking so fast it was like my limbs were vibrating my vision was completely blurry and everything looked as if it was swirling into each other this lasted for about three seconds and then i shot up out of bed gasping for air because i couldn't breathe to this day i don't know what happened to me i've only told my mom about it and she believes that dark figure could have been me what huh i've only told my mom about it and she believes that dark figure could have been me. Oh my. Oh, like seeing, I don't know. I don't know what I'm going to guess.

I'm not sure. I'm not sure if she's right. Maybe I was astral projecting and my spirit animal was entering back into my body. Oh, so like it could have been, right, her reentering herself. Her spiritual self. Maybe it was a hallucination caused by sleep paralysis maybe i was possessed or maybe i was just having a seizure who knows the ironic thing is i work in a haunted house and i play a possessed girl for my character so maybe this will just help with

my method acting method acting anyways i'm really sorry for this being so unbelievably unbelievably long but to make up for it i'm going to attach some pictures of my super cute doggos thanks for being awesome and reading all this mess i love your podcast and can't wait to procrastinate even more by listening love shania holy crap and she's got three cute puppy dogs i cannot handle this and that i don't like that one fucking bit all of that was bananas well the crazy thing too when you're of sleep paralysis and your dog is freaking out. Yeah, that just confirms it. That's not.

I mean, when you can hear a dog barking or like George Lopez playing, like, you know, real time is happening around you. Or George Lopez playing. Jesus Christ. That's horrifying. OK. OK, this is from Katrina. Hi, Katrina. Oh, my God. The subject line. subject line tell me apparently i'm my own

grandmother oh that's surprisingly not the first time i've heard that i'm my own grandmother thoughts question mark hi eva and christine hi eva exclamation point and christine period oh and m period and allison period and blaise and geo oh and blaise period and geo exclamation point and juniper exclamation point great so we gotta clarify who's she's excited to talk to right i hear it okay so this is from okay kit is what she goes by all right i think i've got everyone covered hi you guys i just wanted to send you a quick email about a how much i adore you guys and b my fun reincarnation story i found out i love reincarnation stories i found out about you guys via my darling friend josh who told me you guys were basically buzzfeed unsolved with more wine and screaming oh i'm sorry one day if we ever

if we write our own reviews one day can we make sure to throw theirs in there and just say like from Josh if we write our own reviews I don't know if we ever like decide that we're gonna like pick reviews to like put on a poster oh testimonials yeah yeah yeah that's hilarious I blasted through every single episode you guys have put out ever since

Thanksgiving weekend when I was driving home from a lovely but exhausting time with my family both of you have such an awesome sense of humor, and I've literally woken up laughing when I fall asleep listening to That's What We Drink. Just wanted to say that you're both adorable, and Christine, congrats on your honeymoon. Thank you. All right, on to my story. So my grandma Celeste is an absolute legend in our family.

She was a wild child, 50s feminist who got married like five times and famously stole Elvis Presley's ring. Woo-hoo! She was immediately caught by a security guard who made her give it back unfortunately i've never known her since she died the same year i was born but my sister who's 13 years older than me says that we're practically twins apparently from the time i was little i would exhibit traits that my gran had one of the freakier stories is when my mom first met my grandmother, she and my dad walked into her kitchen where she was jamming out to Elvis Presley's You're the Devil in Disguise, which, hold on.

Foreshadowing. That's my favorite Elvis Presley song. Did I ever tell you about that? No. That's my favorite all time. Like when I was a kid, I used to listen to that over and over and over again. Sorry, side note. Yeah, it is foreshadowing.

When she, I mean, I don't know. I hope that this is not about the devil. sorry side note yeah it is foreshadowing when she i mean i don't know i hope that this is not about the devil i don't think it is when she saw my parents caught her she turned around to my and to my mom's face said i don't like you oh all right my flash forward 15 to 20 years and my mom walks in on me around four years old dancing to the same song on a commercial knowing all the words despite my mom positive i never heard that song before apparently she scared me when she called out to me because i jumped and said i don't like you mom oh okay good to know so the mom does not get a break in this story not at all other stories include me talking about feminism with my dad and telling him i would never lower myself to the level of a man something gran would apparently say anyone anytime anyone asked her about gender equality

my sister finding an old picture of my grandma significant because gran hated getting her picture taken just like me going to show me and seeing me sitting in the exact same position as she was in that picture and my aunt giving me gran's big beautiful reproduction of vincent van gogh's sunflowers because when i was little apparently i threw a massive fit when i saw in her house i tried pulling it off the wall only to bonk myself in the head like a moron when she asked me what possibly possessed ha get it because i'm a ghost grandma when she asked me what possibly possessed me to do that i got very red in the face and told her it was my painting. Most of these stories are fun, but I've got a sad one too.

My grandma sadly outlived my grandpa Glenn, her fifth husband, and according to my dad, the person she was happiest with, who used to call Gran his soulmate. The first time he held me, I was about two weeks old, and he apparently started sobbing once I was placed in his arms. and he apparently started sobbing once i was placed in his arms which was really weird because glenn was a world weary vet and not world weary vet and not prone to emotional outburst of any kind even with his own kids he used to tell my dad that he should have named me after my grandma since we had the same energy about us and he liked to spoil me rotten he sadly died when i was three years old so i don't remember him but i've still got the teddy bear he gave me when i was born sitting on my shelf next to my bed its name is mr glenn and it always gives me a good feeling when i hold it anyway that was quite a ramble i wanted to share the story ever since christine did an episode on reincarnation stories i hope you both are doing wonderful and i can't

wait to meet you when you come to seattle in february love with all my heart kit very nice well i remember because i said like, oh, surprisingly that doesn't like not the first time I've heard that because my youngest cousin is supposedly my grandpa reincarnated. And then I, I have a couple of friends that I met in college and they think that they, they and their mom switch roles every life yeah so like even though they're the kid right now they'll be the mom in the next life that's the one like when i shared that when i did the reincarnation story all the kids being like remember when i was the mommy yeah like yeah so wild that was still my favorite i fucking love covering that super cool oh it's just i'm so

fascinated by that endlessly so yeah also we accept reincarnation stories. We really accept anything. And Furby. No, we don't. I'm only from FBI Furby stories. What's the other one? George Lopez. George Lopez.

What if we find out that that's a thing? I think it is. George Lopez causes sleep paralysis. When the devil appears george lopez plays that's what i always say that's what that's what that's what grandma always told me um this one's from lily it's called haunted plant okay so we also accept stories of haunted house plants hi christine and emin of course geo i'm keeping it original with just the three love it i'm catching up on your podcast and that's why yep and i'm just

into 2018 oh there it is oh that was 20 episode 20 never mind 2018 2018 so hopefully the story is okay yeah so she's just starting in like this january's stories oh that that yeah no eva yet no eva yet no juniper juniper no Juniper. Juniper? No. I think we got Juniper and Eva right around the same time. Yep. Nope. Juniper was July. Oh, okay. Wait. No, you're right. I feel like when we met Eva, we had to keep Juniper in the other room, and we were, like, on the ground, like, on our stomachs, like, playing with the cat. Maybe. Yeah. I don't know. You're probably right. Eva, eva let us know um eva we hope you wrote that down 10 months ago when we yelled about you um i'm catching up on your podcast yeah and just got

to 2018 okay so this is a weird one buckle up i have a hard time believing stories so i will not be offended if you decide this is too crazy well apparently eva thought this was just fine apparently this person doesn't know us well enough to know that she's just into 2018 she doesn't know yet whatever the fuck you tell us i really can't talk to anyone i know or they'll tell me i'm just dreaming recently i kind of pulled an m oh lord that can mean many things that really could go anyway after graduating i moved to kentucky with only a year-long fellowship no real plans or money and no close friends or family i mean we all did that yeah on top of that i moved to one of the last dry really it is oh i moved to one of the last dry really it's called moist but i'm trying to avoid the word county in the u.s so like no alcohol yeah fuck that yeah we used because i

went to school on a dry campus but obviously everyone drinks and so we just called it a damp campus love it yeah that's a better word a dampest yeah that was me obviously yeah i saw the head i saw the head tilt um obviously no one obviously no one's self-aware you are though i know i know my strengths and my weaknesses you know the limit so about after a month of working alone no roommate and no bars to escape to still team milkshake i decided to take up the hobby of growing plants herbs etc meaning marijuana no well could be could be who knows um i had gathered a lot of plants and i wanted one of those tropical plants a mass cane plant plant. Okay. I was so excited, but when I got to Lowe's,

most of them had bad leaves or were clearly dying. It wasn't until I had to move them all to uncover a perfect mass cane plant. Thinking someone was trying to keep this plant for themselves, I decided I was still going to take it. Again, not much going on in my life. That is pulling an M, I think. That is. Being like, oh, finders keepers.

It's mine. I take it home, pot it in a plant, and keep it near the foot of my bed. That is when weird things started to happen in the middle of the night. It's probably the ghost of whoever the fuck you stole that plant from. Probably. In the middle of the night, it would almost be as if someone was yelling right in front of my ear wake up bitch get up wake up holy shit that's what my alarm clock says it's me uh the yelling would continue until i fully woke up like got up and turned on a plant turned on a plant i think

she meant to say light does it say turn on a plant it does is she okay is she just drowning in plants i think she's just pulling another m where she's just like having like mad mad lib disease mad lib disease i think what happened is she's bought so many plants that her she's so invested in her whole plant story she just is changing well i think her existence is just now she's just becoming a plant she's a plant okay uh one night i woke up to the yelling like but also let's let's rewind we're back real quick Her existence is just now. She's just becoming a plant. She's a plant. Okay. One night I woke up to the yelling. Like, but also let's rewind real quick. She, so she's waking up and someone is screaming, wake up, bitch, long enough for, until she's fully awake and walking around.

Like standing. That's horrifying. So like she has to like, first of all, I don't know how you turn on a plant, but it takes that long for the yelling to stop. And that seems like quite a task i think so you probably have to be pretty fucking awake for that one night i woke up to the yelling and saw someone standing at the end of my bed and then walked over to the mass cane plant knelt down and folded folded into themselves what i'm sorry okay i reread that and i did read it correctly okay one night I woke up into the yelling and saw someone standing at the end of my bed then they walked over to the mass cane plant

knelt down and folded themselves into it and faded into the plant what after seeing this woman I decided to move the plant not move your body to another apartment not move the the entire building into ashes on the ground okay i moved the plant to the living room at this point i was asking my long distance boyfriend to fall asleep on the phone with me to see if he ever heard the screaming but he never mentioned it after a couple days i convinced myself i was just being silly with the plant but it started back up again i also took up the hobby of knitting i know you don't have. I know you don't have to say, oh, you don't have to say anything. What? Like, she wrote, like, I also took up knitting, but you don't have to say that.

I mean, she just brought that up. Prestige, don't worry. I don't judge. When I would be knitting or reading on the ground, in front of my vision, it looked as if people would walk by. Oh, like when she's looking down in her peripherals, it looked like someone was walking around. Okay. This is the time to mention that the one bedroom apartment I lived in was a renovated garage. So I would know right away if someone was in my apartment.

I would constantly see people walking by me, though. Ugh. A couple of weeks later, late at night, it sounded as if someone was walking around my apartment building, dragging a shovel or some metal object behind them. I called my mom, and she said, it is just a branch. I like how your mom through the phone was like, oh, that's a branch. And you believed her.

It's all those fucking plants. You have branches. You brought the branches in here, man. I know my mom was being level headed. So I just stayed up all night in terror instead of contesting this. The next morning I went outside and saw nothing that could have been dragging around and even asked my upstairs neighbor and he said he heard it too the last

straw for me was when i would be talking to my boyfriend on the phone there uh there would be a third voice oh it would come over especially if i was talking about moving and it would say get out or leave oh no i asked my boyfriend if he heard it and he would say get out or leave. Oh, no. I asked my boyfriend if he heard it and he would say no. Oh, so it's just like whispering in her ear. She could just hear it. So a week later, I moved and left the plant in the apartment. I offered my haunted plant to my friend and she said no thanks.

And I do not blame her. I offered my haunted plant to my friend. Thanks for reading this long ass email. Hoping to see you on your tour when you're in Florida. Don't go grabbing other people's hidden plants, florida don't go grabbing other people's hidden plants lily don't go grabbing other people's plants she graduated from uh from tech this year what tech virginia tech oh my god good for her wow anyway thank you lily wowza get it lily oh like a plant maybe she should lilies. Maybe she should not touch a plant ever again. It sounds like it doesn't end well for her.

Wowza. That is, I do love that. It's like the plant that she consciously stole from. Right, right. I mean, it's almost like a karma ghost. It is. And it almost is like, I mean, honestly, who knows if it even was stolen. She just said maybe that's what someone was hiding.

But like maybe her own subconscious was like, you're bad things okay who's that from oh lily yes thank you lily okay do you want a sour patch no good thank you i had a bunch already okay okay this story is from valerie hi valerie it's called haunted night in vegas christine's bachelorette party that's right haunted indeed hey i'm christine eva sweet baby g and juniper my name is valerie and i'm finally caught up to the present on the podcast and it has been so cool hearing about your lives and how much can go right in just two years wow we agree a lot can go right it's we're and how much can go right in just two years wow we agree a lot can go right it's we're surprised how much can go right yeah a trillion percent luck i hope this

gives it's not i don't think it's luck i don't think it's like no you think it's luck no no okay i don't want to be negative you're so negative okay uh in just two years it gives me a lot of hope for the next two years for my own career it's not just luck it's if you put the right hard work and energy into the world i think valerie you'll be good don't worry uh let's crack into it i went to las vegas in mid october of this year and it was a wild ride the first four days are a story for a different podcast lol no i want to know why would you not just tell us now i was staying at the luxor parentheses the big pyramid thank you oh thank you with two friends sarah and james and it was our last night there i woke up at exactly 3 a.m of course and immediately felt like there was someone else in the hotel room besides my two friends i was in a bed with sarah and heard her breathing really heavily and it felt like something was moving around a lot

my first thought was for some reason oh my god this is great my first thought for some reason was that she had brought back the stripper whose number she had gotten the night before oh okay pretty nice uh like i said wild weekend i quickly dismissed this because there's no way she would have done that with james and me in the room i know for sure i was not suffering from sleep paralysis because my response was to roll over and try to ignore whatever was happening i was then facing james in the other bed and it looked like there was a dark figure kneeling over him and choking him oh yikes logically i rolled over the other way right right right because i had no idea what the fuck else to do my mistake by the window i saw a

figure moving that looked like a slim man i stared at him and even though it was dark and i couldn't see a face i knew he was staring back at me yeesh that's the worst fucking feeling that's horrifying at this point i was panicking that there was an intruder in the room the alive and human variety so i tapped sarah and asked if there was someone in our room she bolted straight up and said no i turned on the light and no one was there i checked the bathroom in the closet just to be sure and we were definitely alone none of us heard a door open or close so no one had been in either james was barely awake and brushed it off sarah however said that she felt like someone was with us too we convinced ourselves that we were most likely half awake and it was nothing so we could go back to sleep in the morning we talked about it further

and sarah confirmed again that she felt a presence in the room but brushed it off as sleep paralysis or something i agreed but told her that i could definitely move but maybe it was my imagination Right. mostly because i didn't want to sound crazy and i was still somewhat shaken by the experience right when james and i were talking he casually mentioned that right before it turned on the light he felt someone choking him oh that's worse because he she did not say anything holy fuck i almost blacked out on the spot yikes later that day i looked up some information about the hotel and found some sites suggesting that it was definitely haunted apparently there have been a decent number of deaths in the hotel and there have been reports that the pyramid section was haunted i even found trip advisor reviews from customers that got upgraded rooms because of reported haunting experiences oh well good to know for next time we go to the luxor she goes way to wait until our last night goes right it's actually a good point

yeah that's actually a good point yeah let's stay there next time okay you know the big pyramid oh right who really knows well that's all i got i am a skeptic by nature but i like to believe in the supernatural because i think it makes life a little more exciting that's me also i love you guys and your podcast so much i feel like you are distant friends oh that thought you meant of each other. I was like, yeah, me too. I mean, this table's pretty wide. I feel like you are distant friends and you care so much for your followers, even though there are so many of us now. We sure do.

We definitely feel the love even from across the country. Keep up the great work and stay spooky. Also, see you in Milwaukee. So excited. Valerie. All right. day spooky also see you in milwaukee so excited valerie all right i mean gross that you're kidding your buddy's getting choked your buddy boyfriend no friend friend she was in the bed with sarah and their other friend james had the other bud still spooky the thing that he was like

no there was nothing and they just went back to bed and the next day he's like weird i did feel like someone was choking me and she just saw fucking someone choking him no no thanks so spooky yeah and i think if i felt that at all if i were like awake enough to recognize it i would wonder if it was a real person or a ghost you don't know sometimes i imagine well it seemed like she really thought people were invading their room like super terrifying i like how she just rolled over she's like never mind i guess you don't like none of my business yeah my friend's getting choked to death i wonder i like i feel like i don't know how i would react right i feel like i'd be like who's there but maybe james was snoring too

loud and the ghost was over it just like fucking shut up for one second yeah could be all right well thank you guys for your stories if you want to submit your own personal true crime and paranormal stories you can email them to and that's why we drink at gmail.com yeah and put an interesting subject line yeah because i feel like that gets more of a draw. Yeah. Although, oh, wait, no. This is Eva's email number. And it says listener stories.

That's just hers, not. I don't think I read the subject of the second one. Did I? I lived the beginning of a cheesy backward slasher film. No, you did not. Oh, shit. That's a good one. Oh, well. good subject we love that uh I forgot to mention um the the one Kate from uh the the pickaxe one her subject was I lived the beginning of a cheesy backwoods slasher film so

that's like quite quite a story um yeah send us your stories we to read them. And I think we started 2019 off pretty strong. Yeah. Thank you, guys. Thank you. Except for the part where I yelled at you about the Elvis song. But I think I was just really confused. Oh. I mean, when are one of us confused?

Never. Always. Never. I don't know. All right. Well, thank you, guys. Thank you very much. We will talk to you in February.

And that's why we drink.