And That's Why We Drink - Listener Stories: Vol. 25

Episode Date: February 1, 2019

Happy February, creeps and peeps (thank you, Margaret)! We’re in the month of love and we’ve got some spooky, glitchy, and mothman related stories for you. We’re also terrified of a ghost who drinks Jager and, you guys, we’ve got another 3am George Lopez story and we don’t know what to do about it. We think he might be a sleep demon. Thanks, kind of, we’re terrified… and that’s why we drink!Please consider supporting the companies that support us! Start your free wedding website and get $50 off your registry on Zola, go to zola.com/wedrink

hello welcome to the month of love february oh welcome to the second month of 2019 wow we're really doing it folks we're really doing it thank you for the second listeners episode of 2019 we are after this a sixth way done with the year getting in it on it on top of it through it around it around it amongst it amongst it we're everywhere in betwither in betwixt in betwixt oh um i we haven't done one of these in so long i don't really remember how we can jump into these. Can you tell that we're really rusty? No? Good.

Way rusty. We actually haven't been in front of our personal microphones in weeks and weeks. I keep shifting my face to look at you. I don't remember how this works. I forget that half of you is usually blocked. It's nice to not see your face anymore. I know. Oh, there's a baby olive.

God damn it. These dogs are everywhere. Puppy doblers. It's like a plague of puppies it's called a zoo oh um okay someone's tickling my toes he's betwixt my toes she i'm sorry i did not mean to misgender the dog damn it of all people i'm so sorry gender conformist i'm an idiot i'm an idiot i'm an idiot you should take lesson from me. I should look in the mirror is what I should do. Oh my. Anyway, welcome to a listener's episode where you have submitted your personal paranormal and true crime stories.

And we will read six of them. We always read six. So if you would like to... Because of 666. Oh. Not really, but now it is. Oh, okay. I was like, well, maybe.

Thank you guys to everyone who has submitted. If we haven't gotten to your story, that does not mean we haven't read it. Don't worry. We only do six at a time. We're saving them all. You do the math. There's a whole lot out there. We're saving the good ones.

If you would like to potentially be in the next circle of six, if you will, for the March listeners episode, then please submit your paranormal and true crime personal stories to and that's where we drink at gmail.com. That is right. And then little Eva shall read them. Oh, little Eva with a big heart. We love our little Eva. Also, if you want to be in next month's listeners stories, you will be in Eva's birth month.

That's right. So we got a little Pisces on our hands. A little Pisces. Oh, bye, Olive. Can she get out? She's got it. she knows how doors work i think well geo doesn't so i never know oh there she goes with the little cute little booty oh there's her face back she said bye you be good girl that's so nice that's so nice oh she's just

she just wanted a front row ticket oh she's gone okay she did not want it anymore all right so i guess we're just gonna get right right into this, aren't we? Okay. Let's jump right in. This is one whole email called The Firestarter. Oh, boy. By Katie. Okay.

Hi, Katie. Hello, Katie. Katie says, hi, I'm Christine, Eva, Juniper, and Gio. Hi. Oh, hello. Sorry. Sorry, Olive. I am writing this email while listening to your podcast and i got inspired to tell you all my story i have always been sensitive

and renata is calling in a different podcast place sorry also loving that picture of her she this is when she learned what snapchat filters were um it's on do not disturb but the only person that can break through it is my mother and she somehow happens to know every single time that i put on do not that's amazing i think it's you and my mom are the only people and my brother that can call through i just call you incessantly until you pick up until the gods allow it it works sometimes i have always been sensitive and have seen slash felt energies my entire life, but for the most part have never felt like I was in danger.

Well, that's good. Except for one particular instance that I'm going to tell you about today. That's not good. I'm going to start the story by saying when this took place, I was 13 and I was being, oh, very introspective. I see Katie is. I was 13 and I was being a bit of a Megan. Well, that's very noble of you to admit i appreciate

you looking in the mirror many don't thank you uh being a bit of a megan and making fun of a boy i was in school with at the time named jay he was okay jay sounds like he was in our little posse he was very into cults ghosts and other paranormal stuff and she says i was too but i was 13 and trying to be cool oh i hear you trying to reject the great we know uh he said he had said something earlier in the day about him trying to reach out to a spirit the story takes place after school at my friend anna's house i had always felt energy in her house and we all had seen or heard some weird shit there so i thought it would be a perfect location for making fun of jay and his ghosts oh no it's okay we're not judging you this was in the past

um in my attempt to mock jay i was saying something like ghost come here use my body to connect etc then that's when things got weird oh so karma wow shocking we were in anna's living room i was sitting on a chair and next to the chair was a lit candle on a side table. And on the other side of the table was another chair where Anna was sitting. Above us was a ceiling fan with a long cord that you could pull to change the ceiling fan speed. I was saying those things to the spirit and the string on her curtain ceiling or on her ceiling fan. Sorry. The string on her ceiling fan began to move in circles but the fan was not on me being the megan that i was said oh there they are and the strings started

moving faster and making larger circles and i got pretty freaked out at this point and told me not to say anything else and i didn't listen oh megan instead i said do something to scare us and the exact moment i finished the sentence the candle on the table burst into a huge flame and shattered, starting a fire in the living room. What? Oh, wait. Shattered? Oh, like in a glass? Yeah.

Oh, no. We immediately put out the fire, but there were some burn marks on the floor and chair I was sitting in. Hannah was pissed and did not let me back into her house. She was. I don't blame her. Did not let me back into her house for a couple of weeks, but I guess that's an understandable reaction. We were literally just having a conversation about, like,

children that we may or may not welcome into our homes one day. Truly honest to God. Someone like that, maybe. Megan's? Megan's. So, yeah, good times. I had a bunch of stories about ghosts and other paranormal activities, but those can wait for another day.

Love your podcast. I've been listening since 2017. Team Alcohol. Wow. Stay Golden. Katie. Hi,ie and katie actually is the manager at zany's wait what yep katie in her in her uh signature business manager zany's wait that means maybe we'll see you when we're there we'll see you oh by the way guys i know this is oh wait the zany's in chicago illinois oh yikes never mind wrong zany's um zany chicago zany's is cool though either way yes we love zany's uh by the way guys speaking of tour stuff um we just released a bunch of shows ohio we're coming for you ohio pittsburgh um and a

couple others are coming soon so just stay tuned yes and buy tickets because they go fast they go way fast faster than we ever anticipated nope thank you everyone thank you for that we are ever grateful ever forever grateful okay this is from sydney hi sydney hello sydney okay this is called a sweet glitch in the matrix you know we love no i love a good glitch in the matrix. Love a good glitch. Howdy, y'all. Howdy. First, howdy.

God, we're so good at this. We're so Southern. We're so, like, good at both talking simultaneously. Howdy, y'all. First off, thank you for making such an amazing podcast. My boyfriend. You're welcome. Yep, there it is.

My boyfriend and I are always laughing and are doing that weird side eye to each other when shit gets crazy in the stories you cover i thought they were gonna be like we do that side eye when you guys like won't say something stupid talking i heard it too i think that's what she was beginning to type and then realize she needed to change her game up about your stories not you yeah sure sure sure okay here we go one morning i woke up super sick and i needed to go to the store to get medicine and some soup. My boyfriend had some fish to return at the pet store. What? It's just average, your average errand.

Return at the pet store. So I dropped him off while I went to do that. There's some Valentine's Day candy out already and I saw a bag of Reese's in the aisle. So I thought to myself, oh, hell yeah. And I bought a bag to treat myself. I head back to the pet store parking lot, and I'm sitting in the car, and my boyfriend's still not done in there, so I thought I'd kick back and eat my treats. I was actually, oh, great, I was actually listening to your podcast while this was happening.

Well, you manifested that. You did. We had no, no, you had no chance. No. I was Snapchatting my friend at this time, and I sent her a video of me eating one of the six Reese's inside of the package. I don't know why I did. That sounded like some shit we would do. I was Snapchatting my friend at this time and I sent her a video of me eating one of the six Reese's inside of the package. I don't know why I did. That sounds like some shit we would do. I know.

Watch me eat this chocolate. There wasn't enough audience participation in my enjoyment of this. I don't know why I did, but I'm glad I sent her the video. Also, when I got done with the video, I saw a family of five praying in the parking lot. Hmm. That's weird. Praying on the parking lot. I don't know.

And a swarm of birds went above my car. Everything just felt weird. I don't like this. I then reached toward the bag and it was sealed. What? And I know some bags kind of reseal themselves, but this was not the case. This baby was closed.

Oh my God. I'm sitting there with the taste of Reese's in my mouth. Oh my God. Wondering what the hell is going on. I looked for the wrapper to determine if i really ate it or not and the wrapper was gone right or maybe there was like a second one you pretended you weren't gonna buy but then you did buy it and now you're eating that one bought two because it was a one buy one like no one will know buy one get one okay but we're assuming she only got one right it seems like that's all there's there i started to panic and tear up because i was told at a young age that i oh no that i would possibly could possibly be schizophrenic and i thought it

came true that's horrific just so much stress to put on someone that's terrible and scary i get out of the car and search and arguably scarier than oh yeah a glitch yeah yeah yeah i get out of the car and search everywhere for the rapper it was gone i then called my friend and asked her if she saw me eat the reeses and she replied with yeah dude what's going on are you on something what i was breathing heavily and crying lol i just hung up because yeah i would have like if her boyfriend was like still in the store i would have the second he got in there blown in his face and been like what do you smell yeah yeah what do you smell check my my molars yeah because if that's the case then i just assume it was a ghost fucking with you and resealing it

instead of like oh we went back in time or into another reality or like switched right right switch timelines i just hung up because yeah i felt crazy eventually my boyfriend comes back to the car and we drive home i'm still crying lol when i walked in his mom saw i was upset and asked what happened i told her the situation and she was skeptical so she observed the package she agreed it was very much sealed and looked untouched she opened it to count how many were in there there were five instead of six what part of me just really wants to think like okay maybe it was just like re-adhesed maybe there was like some extra glue on the that's on the bag and she did say like i i know that could happen but then she also said like i don't know they all looked at it and it was actually so creepy

especially i like to imagine that the addition of the family praying in the front is like ew i like to think there's there's a connection with all of it. The birds. Yeah. The weird feeling. Who knows? My boyfriend thinks aliens came and zapped the Reese's from my body. Well, if I were an alien and I wanted to get a taste of earth, I would absolutely start with the Reese's product. Absolutely. But it's also weird that the wrapper went missing. Like the one she just ate went missing.

Anyway, I wonder if the calories count. Oh my God. That's the ultimate question, isn't it? I wonder if the calories count. Oh my God. That's the ultimate question, isn't it? I wonder if the calories count since I technically still ate it? Question mark, question mark. I would love to hear your thoughts on that. Well, you've just heard way too many. Welcome.

I'm sorry. We did not. Welcome. Stop talking throughout it. I would love to hear your thoughts on this. You guys are amazing. Much love, Sid. P.S.

Hey, Gio. Love you. Oh my God. This is spooky. That's bananas. Someday I'll have to tell my potential glitch story that I don't think is good enough for... I don't think I know about this. I have not told it.

Because I'm always trying to make sense of it in my head. Okay, well I can't wait for that day. Okay. I'll share it on another day when we're not doing listener stories. I know I've experienced some glitches, but I feel like they were so... But the benign ones are the best if you really literally there's no way to explain it i guess that's true and also like it really does prove that like it's happening around you so many people just look for you know a reason for there to be an excuse or i mean i'm

of the belief i know maybe not you but i'm of the belief that like 99.9999% of the time things can be explained by a weird coincidence or a misfire, misfiring memory, or I'm of the belief of 90% of the time. Oh, okay. I'm of a much bigger fraction. Yeah, I'm not quite, but the one I have is just, I still don't get it. And I've, Oh, are we going to tell it? No, I just, anyway, it doesn't matter. I'm going to demand it out of you eventually. It's not that great. Okay. The next one is from Brianna.

Brianna? Brianna. Brianna. And this is a Mothman sighting. Oh, my God. And it started with, to the best friends I've never met. That's precious. I'm a longtime listener and first time writer. Just wanted to take a sec to tell you thanks for always keeping me company

when i'm feeling a little lonely and keeping me awake on long commutes to campus i'm writing in about an occurrence that happened actually to my dad my family and i are big-time campers and this story often gets told beside a campfire on a woody old picnic table in the middle of the fucking woods in the dark the fucking woods my dad lived in a very rural very poor rancho i'm talking dirt roads no plumbing little electricity in san luis potosi mexico cool um until he was about middle school age one night my dad was walking from his own home to his grandparents home which is maybe a two block trip about a block from his grandparents house my dad notices a dark figure perched in the Ugh. Ugh.

Oh, boy. eyes closed oh boy fast forward to 2002 and my parents are watching the mothman prophecies together when my dad is literally frozen with fear and pleads with my mom to turn off the movie my mom surely a little relieved turns it off with my dad when my dad looks at her and says i've seen that thing in the movie before thanks for reading brianna hashtag team milkshake what the fuck so it begins and ends it ends and begins abruptly abruptly i like it a lot i think i do too i love those concise ones i think the freakiest thing is that when your dad is scared like everyone's fucking scared oh for sure it's like you always think there's no way he's gonna be scared that's not that means someone's shaken right yikes um okay so excited about this this is from stephanie hi stephanie and it says ghosts who drink jaeger and break bottles oh perfect

just for me just for you hey i'm christine and geo i'm so happy to have discovered your podcast i've always been interested in the paranormal and all things weird your telling of stories and banter make it even better thanks so much now i've had a few ghostly encounters but i'll tell you about two of the funniest and creepiest experiences love it here's one of them i'm originally from northern jersey where i hope you're coming to esby park where i grew up in an old house built in the 1920s oh wait no they're originally from there never Yikes. Maybe you're making a hometown appearance. Won't you fly back to your parents' house for us? Okay.

I'm originally from northern Jersey, where I grew up in an old house built in the 1920s. While growing up, we experienced all of your typical hauntings, you know, voices, footsteps, black shadows, things moving. There was never any negative energy. Rather, it seemed like the spirits just wanted to make their presence known. These things didn't happen all the time, but enough for it to become a normal part of my childhood. So when I was in college and still living at my family's house, I had a bottle of Jäger. Please don't... Listen, I'm German. I don't fucking judge.

Yeah, we're not judging at all. I had a bottle of Jäger. Please don't judge the liquor of choice... liquor choice of college me. It's better than, like, Smirnoff Ice, so don't worry. Now I'm team wine all the way. I left the bottle sitting on the desk in my bedroom when i went to grab the bottle the next day to bring it to a friend's house it was nowhere to be found nobody else had been inside my bedroom either like i mentioned before these weird happenings in my house were normal so i shrugged it off and left

without the bottle later that night oh god i came home to find the bottle of jaeger sitting in the middle of my bed what i don't like that again nobody had put it there i guess the ghost had fomo for not being part of the party who knows but out of all the things to go missing in my house and reappear the bottle of jaeger was definitely the weirdest and funniest one terrifying the fact that it comes back in the middle i hate that i hate when things show up in the middle of things so like intentional it's very yes it feels so intentional it's very much like there's a purpose you must see this i want you to know that i'm consciously moved it's very yes it feels so intentional it's very much like there's a purpose you must see this i want you to know that i'm consciously moved it's not like oh it shifted 10 feet or it moved

or knocked over by accident it's like to like the different room it's like no it was placed here hey recognize that i'm recognizing you and i'm in your bed and also i know where you sleep and also stop drinking and also i know what you drink yep yep i know what you sleep. And also stop drinking. And also I know what you drink. Yep. Yep. I know what you drink. Yep. Last summer. Nope. Okay. Another story.

My husband is in the military in a station at Camp Lejeune. Lejeune? In Jacksonville, North Carolina. Lejeune. I don't know. Lejeune? Who knows? Probably not.

How's it spelled? L-E-J-E-U-N-E. J-E-U-N-E? Yeah. That is Jeune in French. Yeah, but I feel like maybe in north carolina they don't say it that way sure lejeune i would say lejeune okay i don't know rumor has it that while building the military base the graves of slaves had been moved oh christ like who thought that was a good idea

right right yeah military base housing is known for its crazy hauntings i've heard numerous stories that can attest to this for other reasons, we lived in a house out in town. Yet this didn't prevent us from having our own creepy experiences. Our house was newly built and I'm often living alone while my husband is away for work. While alone, I never experienced any paranormal activity. However, whenever my husband and other men were in the house, weird things happened. Uh-oh. I always say that, too, when men are in the house.

Shit goes down. Ha-ha. So much jaeger while people were in the kitchen bottles sitting on counters or cabinets would fall and break these bottles were nowhere near the edge making it impossible for them to fall on their own now for the creepiest part one time i was having a conversation with my husband he kept looking into another room that was out of my eyesight he had a confused look on his face so i kept asking him what he was looking at my husband said there was a figure appearing around the corner no looking at him no oh he said it was difficult to make out its appearance but it had long black hair and his face was blackened around the eyes

get get me out of here get out we haven't spoken much about this incident since then i've got chills just sitting here writing the story we no longer live in that house but i still wonder about the origin of that figure i hope you guys enjoyed these stories i've got chills just sitting here writing the story. We no longer live in that house, but I still wonder about the origin of that figure. I hope you guys enjoyed these stories. I've got many more to share. You guys keep on doing you. Sending good vibes. Stephanie. Love it.

Hate it, but love it. Love your... Thanks, kind of. Love your story. Hate your story. Love your hair. Hate your guts. Yeah.

Thank you. Thanks. That's not good. I can't imagine why you don't talk about this with your husband i think the figure peering around the corner and then the jaeger bottle in the middle of the bed is just the worst the creepiest part also probably because it's so real for you i mean that could happen any second just a box of red wine just sit on your bed i thought you meant because i'm gonna be home alone tonight like oh just someone peering around the corner i was like fuck and their name isn't geo yeah i was like yeah maybe because

a cat lives here so this one is from alex and it is called another weird george lopez story which scares me because it makes me think when i hear george lopez i now think sleep paralysis i mean that was solidified the instant we made that connection i mean that was what they were hoping for back when they were just producing the show right like i need this to be powerful at 3 a.m in a few decades from now we want this right to be our lasting legacy so uh alex says hi all hey hope you all are doing well and sweet baby g is as handsome as ever oh he is don't worry he's so sweet um i love your last listeners episode and laughed so hard at my office cubicle when y'all talked about the george lopez story i also have a kind of weird paranormal-esque story that

also happened at the weird 3 a.m ish time while watching america's favorite nighttime show are you serious is this a thing i'm telling you george lopez is a sleep demon so wild to me okay so way back in 2009 i had the swine flu lol oh my god i did too uh i was oh nine oh nine okay uh swine flu by the way is the fucking worst yeah i can't imagine i was basically quarantined in my room for two weeks and my mom being not so traditionally motherly stuck a tv in my room and slipped food under the door with rubber gloves every day look i don't blame her oh Oh, yeah. My mom. I could love you as as the day is long, but I am not getting this one. My mom just kept saying, you'll be fine.

Get over it. And I did eventually. So technically, she's right. Technically, she wasn't lying. Anyways, I've had a constant I had a constant TV stream going at all times to keep entertained. At one point in the middle of the night, I distinctly remember watching George Lopez and starting to feel really terrible. Uh-oh.

Uh-oh. Not a ringing endorsement. Nope. My fever began to peak up to 105. Oh, no. And I remember slowly fading out to the TV show in the background during the George Lopez intro song. Can you imagine that's the last thing you hear before you die?

Lasting legacy, my butt. Maybe this was a hallucination, maybe something paranormal, or even possibly some type of guardian angel experience, but I remember everything fading to a strange bright white. Holy shit, this person's really actually dying. Uh-oh. I felt like I could barely open my eyes, but definitely still felt like I was in bed. A sort of tunnel was approaching me. Oh, no.

And I heard someone say, it's not quite time yet. Uh-oh. And it was George Lucas. Come back. Come back to the sounds of, oh, no. And I heard someone say, it's not quite time yet. Uh-oh. And it was George Lopez. Come back. Come back to the sounds of, oh, yeah. I then bolted awake, if you can call it that, and I felt like I needed to catch my breath. My mom was in my room checking my temperature, and it was back to 99 degrees. Whoa.

I think that the freakiest thing, though, was that when I looked at the TV on the screen, it seemed as if george lopez intro is at the exact same place like no time had passed at all even though this was a distinguished one to two minutes i've only told a few people the story because i don't want people thinking i'm crazy but i figured you all may think this is interesting or maybe you can possibly offer some insight we have none we're not good at that but when people are like i need advice we're like we are not doctors. We need tears. But we all need help.

I mean, we need a lot. There, we can agree. We need more than you guys, probably. On another non-spooky but still George Lopez note, where the hell is this going? Oh, come on. This is ultimate spooky. I attended his comedy show in college and passed out during it. Oh, my God. You are allergic to George Lopez.

We've solved it. There's your medical advice. We are advisors. I am your counsel. You are a doctor. I felt weird and dizzy and got up to use the restroom next thing i knew i was in an ambulance and as they were taking my vitals a man rushed to the ambulance door he apparently worked for george lopez and had heard what had happened to me this is like eva running into a hospital oh boy what is happening he explained that he couldn't give me a refund for the show but george felt bad so he signed an autograph for me.

I now proudly own a portrait of George Lopez that says, feel better, amigo. Shut the fuck up. Yay. Also, go Hokies. Oh, okay. This is the best story I've ever heard. Also, don't keep that in your room because you never know what can happen. If you look at it, you might pass out, homie.

You never know. Thank you all for being such an escape for me at my office job. I'm currently figuring out my life, navigating student loan payments and wedding planning wow christine can you relate to any of that wow that hurts me deep deep down it's stressful to say the least and listening to you all every week definitely eases lots of anxiety lastly random weird note for christine and blaze but i was listening to the podcast with my mom and telling her about y'all and apparently she may know blaze's family oh probably blaze is it n? Tell me it's Nancy. Her name is Karina, and she went to Ram High School in Connecticut. Oh, boy.

I don't know anything about that. Wait, who is her name? The mom. I mean, that's where Blaze went to high school. Her name is Karina and went to Ram High School. Oh, well, Blaze is... Yeah, that's where Blaze went to high school, and his dad coaches baseball there. Oh, wow.

Well, now everyone knows where Blaze's dad is. Small world. Have a wonderful week, you beautiful people. Alex. Thanks, Alex. Thank you, Alex. coaches baseball there oh wow so well now everyone knows where blaze's dad is small world have a wonderful week you beautiful people alex thanks alex thank you alex wowza oh my that was quite a loop quite a uh horrific george lopez loop we've got one last one i think yes this is the last one it is called we've got a seventh one we said six a whole lot earlier but we've we're bringing you a bonus love you i'm but this is number six so oh shit really yeah okay remember you went first It is called. We've got a seventh one. We said six a whole lot earlier, but we've, we're bringing you a bonus. Love you. I'm, but this is number six.

So. Oh shit. Really? Yeah. Okay. Remember you went first. You're right. You're right.

I'm just an idiot. You're not an idiot. I'm just one big idiot. Okay. We should have just pretended it was. No. People would have tweeted us. It's six.

Nevermind. Six, six, six. Remember the lion, the witch and the Ouija. All right. L-O-L-O-L-O hello hello hello hello hello creeps and peeps wait a minute wait this has too much creativity for one minute we're two lines in two years into this podcast we never thought to call people that creeps and peeps wait stealing it eva trademark trademark that we trademarked it before they could patent it well in the time that you were listening

to this we actually called a whole bunch of lawyers and that's trademarked so we did creeps and peeps we called 11 lawyers 11 11 you believe it how many creeps and peeps by the way margaret how many did you call creeps peeps and lawyers creeps peeps and lawyers um okay thank you margaret for that thank you for your intellectual property yes thank you we have stolen it uh hello creeps and peeps there are too many names at this point and i'd hate for anyone to feel improperly greeted oh that's so conscientious other names for your consideration oh god there's more eva god what is happening what are their names for your consideration the brew crew the boo coo crew the brews and booze brews and booze the brew crew

the boo crew the boozers and shakers that's already a thing that's what most people call themselves in the group or perhaps the pod squad i think that's also it that's a generic umbrella term i think but i still like it twitter like a an actual hashtag account oh that like reviews podcast boo crew boo crew is good i don't hate that boo crew is good i'm digging creeps and peeps though i think creeps and peeps is it just caught me first i've heard it before all the others it's just like gets right to I don't hate that. Boo Crew is good. I'm digging Creeps and Peeps, though. I think Creeps and Peeps is just... It just caught me first. I've heard it before all the others.

It's just like, gets right to the punch, you know? Yeah. I'm sure you could do something using beverage and entourage as well. You're not wrong. Beverage and entourage. I love your show and everything you do. Your stories make me laugh during the day and maintain my insomnia at night. Oh, you're welcome.

It turns out I'll be visiting Seattle the same week as you in February. Yay! Oh, hollaary yay so i can't wait to see you all and we'll be airing this right before then yeehaw now for the stories i went to college in southern oregon and these are a few about my stories about my crazy roommate so my ex-roommate is a witch but not a very good one oh okay let me rephrase she's very good but oh so she's not good at being a witch okay okay she's very good but doesn't think things through i hear you before i get into the story i have to tell you who the characters are in this fine tale oh my the roommate responsible not to be confused with a responsible a responsible roommate i hear you which she is not explain that to me uh she is not responsible she's not she's responsible for what's about

to happen but she's not a responsible human okay sorry the roommate sorry english is not my first language there it is the roommate responsible not to be confused with their responsible roommate me the gay trademark says that look she knew the trademark i think it's a they but yeah me uh the gay trademark roommate i'd like that they found the tm symbol right love love it it's a they but yeah me uh the gay trademark roommate i'd like that they found the tm symbol right love love it it's all that matters actually all four of us are gay but oh no they're not the gay one the other one i thought it was saying me the gay roommate but it's saying me comma the gay the gay roommate actually all four of us are gay but he's capital g trademark i hear you god this is so hard to relay if you're not looking at it.

It's so beautifully written. Me, comma, the gay. The household gay, if you will. The capital G gay. Right. And then, so they're all gay, but there's like the king gay. Right. The gay supreme.

He's the one who called 11 lawyers. I hear you. Yeah. Okay. I mean, he knew about the trademark sign. Right. Exactly. And the innocent roommate is the next one.

So let's crack into it. Two years ago, the roommate responsible had a job interview with this skeezy guy who made a lot of inappropriate comments to her. Fucking fantastic. She tried reporting him for sexual harassment, but the company was so small and he was so high up that nothing came out of it. Shocker. So she decided to hex him. Oh, at first I thought it said sexed him, and I was like, that's not the right way to go about this. I was like, that's backwards.

That's the wrong way. That's the wrong way. Wrong direction. Hex him. She recruited all of our roommates because the capital gay roommate and I had some experience in magic and the innocent roommate completed the circle. So he was roped in. We went back into the backyard and she made a poppet and caught a little bit of twine on fire. Ooh.

We were supposed to wait for the fire to go out, but it was taking too long. So I took some water and poured it on the burning twine and the flame shot up a few feet in the air and then went out. Oh, Lord. She buried the poppet and closed the circle and we went back in the house the next day the innocent roommate got really sick he kept vomiting and collapsed on the floor uh-oh going from the bathroom to the couch so we took him to the hospital and they said it was a really bad flu swine flu perhaps oh nine that's just me oh nine the next day during class i started feeling sick i vomited for about 20 minutes and then fell asleep for 14 hours the roommate responsible vomited blood that's the swine flu woof swine 09 am i right no nine baby am i right okay vomiting blood awesome uh vomiting blood um and then was fine nothing happened to the gay trademark roommate he thinks it's because he's cuban and somehow his

experience in santeria protected him oh okay anyhow we're all feeling like shit so the roommate responsible thinks she messed up the hex and goes in the backyard to dig up the poppet only it's not there she goes to the spot it's the only loose soil in the yard she digs about a foot deeper than we buried it but she cannot find it this prompts her to start digging up our yard and eventually we stop her because this is a rental she fills all the holes and comes back inside so the gay roommate can perform a cleansing that ends with us kicking a coconut around like a soccer ball.

All right. What is happening here? It's just, it's one, it's like an episode of Rugrats or something, except there's a lot of bloody vomit. It's like a really advanced adult episode. It's like Rugrats All Grown Up. All Grown Up.

Oh, nine? Oh, nine. Oh, nine. Swine, oh, nine, baby. Swine, oh, nineine oh nine h1n1 the gay roommate is kicking around soccer coconut ball soccer ball whatever okay for some reason unknown to be or her therapist the roommate responsible didn't learn her lesson a few months later the roommate responsible decided to contact the dead sister of a friend only discover

it wasn't her ghost oh when it started answering simple questions incorrectly good bye no thank you bye forever after that the power to random rooms would turn off and on separate from the rest of the house gotcha you could put a knife in a drawer and close it but when you left the room you'd hear clattering and return to find all the knives on the floor oh goodbye with the door closed drawer still closed you would see tall shadow people in the backyard out of the corner of your eye. But when you looked out there, there was only darkness. Everyone who came into the house commented on the creepy energy and how it felt disturbing and wrong. We threw excellent Halloween parties because of this.

Oh, well, I'm glad once a year you're really succeeding. Priorities. Worth it. Worth it. But that was the only good thing to come out of it needless to say i moved out i probably should have moved out when she told me about a ouija board experience that ended with her ipod skipping to this song highway to hell every time she tried to play something lord almighty throw it away throw it burn it throw the whole music anthology away for some reason we

became next door neighbors in the same apartment complex across town after that no but i never told her that every few weeks i'd do a cleansing and ward against anything in her apartment that might find its way into mine it's smart i wonder like who's doing stuff in apartments next to me yeah i mean you can't it doesn't hurt to protect yourself i mean there is that that um i was gonna be like you know the old saying it's not an old saying though but if you do think about it like there is someone out there who is living next to a serial killer or someone out there who is passing them on the street playing with some dark stuff yeah i mean there's someone it could be you it could be you never know and um they said

uh they do a cleansing because when in doubt sage it out right right when in doubt thank you finally this has like very literal use here oh truly there are plenty of other weird stories i could tell about that roommate alone but i think i'll leave it at that thank you for reading my story give geo 100 kisses for me i wish i had tea milkshake but seeing as i'm currently drunk on boxed wine as i type this i don't think i have a choice your fellow baby margaret oh baby little baby we love our babies um thank you margaret uh p.s after today's 120 episode i drew you as the ghostbusters well now you didn't have to do that forwarded the picture and said i'd like you eva said you should look at the picture together at the same time okay so let's open it that's art remember when you asked somebody to do that listen i requested and and i margaret delivered margaret delivered wow eva is looking

like just a badass eva looks like she's about to protect us all from eva looks like everything fuck you guys i'll handle it which is basically how she is anyway it is she's like i'll stand in the background but like you know i'm about to actually just do all the work right like yeah it's like i'll let you feel like you're like the center of attention but i'll run the show so good thank you margaret we should post this it with their permission we should post me winking i'm like just trying to just swoon the shit out of these fucking charmer aren't you yeah that's what i don't know what i'm doing you're just hanging out i'm just standing crookedly oh sounds about right you're trying to act not drunk yeah i'm trying to stay sober um

cool so thank you margaret this is amazing thank you so so much and hopefully we can post this maybe we'll have eva ask for permission yeah yeah on instagram cool um thanks guys that was a trip and i'm kind of upset that i have to be here alone now so good fantastic um thank you to everyone who sent in their stories like i said in the beginning if you have any personal true crime or paranormal stories and want to write them into us and potentially be in one of our listener stories that we put on on the first of every month, you can send them to us at and that's why we drink at gmail.com. Yay. Yay.

Eva will read them for us. Happy February to everyone. Happy February. We will see you in March. Bye. Bye.