And That's Why We Drink - Listener Stories: Vol. 5

Episode Date: July 2, 2017

Thanks for scaring the pants off us in our fifth listener's episode, guys. The stories this month are bananas. And that's why we drink.

i'm not starting we're here for listeners stories episode five wow five i know does that means five months yeah oh we're so old elderly yeah we're five months older five whole months older um also we were just talking about how the first listeners episode we ever had we had like three emails maybe uh-huh like that's right we had nothing and now all of a sudden it's literally in like there's buckets of stories in our email we're just going through we're struggling we're trying to figure out a system of how to get through all these like how do we just read faster or do we do more listeners episodes like how do we don't know how to it's spiraling out of control we have so many stories how many do we have

hundreds not hundreds but like getting there like soon we'll be there which i like they're all so good and i respond to all of them god bless you this is why christine quit her fucking job so you guys could each get a personal note back but i love all of them like it's my favorite time of the day to read all of them but i i i do apologize i promise we're reading them all like in the in the email, but we can't. We only do four in episodes, so it's like we're bound to have to skip some at some point. Yeah. So we're trying.

We're trying. We're trying. In other news, my mother just called me. What? Yeah. Em? We were just trying to call my mom, and it's past midnight, and she wasn't picking up, and now she just called.

She's going to think you're dead. Am I in trouble? Do you want to find out? Don't stop calling her. She left a voicemail. Okay, let's listen to the voicemail. Hi, Amy. It's Mom calling.

Tom and I are leaving rent and all I can think of is Aideen and Mindel singing her songs and you running around the house saying 524,628 minutes. Just trying. Whatever that song was.

Or the other song, Lighting a Candle. How does that go? Light my candle. Light my candle. You were so great in singing her songs. We just got on 395. We're heading home from D.C. It's 1240. If you are awake, give us a call.

I love you. And I'm so, so glad the world is different. Because I was, like, sad and crying. Because back when I, back in the 80s when this movie came out of the show, Monica, who I did not know was gay at that time,

had a bunch of gay guy friends. And so many of them died from AIDS. Oh my god! It was really, really sad, and the show kind of hit a home on that. So, I'd love to talk to you, and I'm happy that there was no big,

horrible, deadly disease that hits lesbians. But I love you. Give me a a totally great chance what a weird turn that was not that's not what i expected at all all i was thinking about was dino benzel and how he used to sing 500 628 i sing it the right way let's remember that well i used to take singing lessons when i was younger and I just sang right. So. My mother didn't just drunk text me. She drunk drew me. What is

that? I don't know. A leg? What does it say? I didn't read the message. We would like to have Christina and Gio's phone number. They are more attentive. They are more attentive. And we would like to contact them directly. What the fuck? what's wrong with my mother and she drunk drew like she used like the the finger like a talon or something she drew

something really weird and illegible it looks like a talon that's my favorite thing you can give her your number if you'd like is she gonna call me i don't know i'd really honestly it's my number what is it elevator music and we're back to listener episode five is anyone there no if you listen carefully you can barely hear my pulse m's heart rate has skyrocketed uh i don't know how much you're gonna end up putting in into the final episode but my mother just very very heavily drunk well i called she drunk responded and we've been on the phone with her for the last 20 minutes of her telling us way too much about herself wow it was also the first time her and

christina have ever spoken. So welcome to your newfound friendship. I am at a loss for words. I think Christine expected their first meetup to be a little more... Civilized? Civilized, a thousand percent. A thousand percent. But it was a... But this, I couldn't have asked for a better first meetup.

What you got, what you got is the real deal. Let's take a sharp left turn away from my mom, please. You want to talk about? Something. Death? Anything. Yeah, I would much rather talk about death. Great.

Me first? You first. You go first. I feel like I need a breath and a glass of wine. Fuck. I don't know what the hell you need. I can grind up some Klonopin into your milkshake if you want. Trust me.

I think the thing is, I think the reason I don't drink is because I want alcohol so badly. I just want it so badly that I know it would only take a turn for the worse. Like you need it so badly? I need it. It's like my kryptonite. Right. I would rather just not know how badly I need it. A hundred percent.

Makes sense. All right. So this is from Kim. Hey, Kim. Hey, I'm a Christine. Love the podcast and love that y'all mentioned your friend living in Tanzania since I lived in Tanzania briefly a few years ago. Wait, that's the friend I'm visiting tomorrow in San Diego.

Oh yeah. I get to meet one of Christine's friends. And she lived in Tanzania. Lived or living? She's back officially? She's like traveling the US. Oh, must be nice. She's back officially? She's back. She's like traveling the U.S. Oh, must be nice. She's coming to L.A. for a week.

One of the craziest things I learned while living there was about the albino massacres on the mainland. What the fuck? Albinism or Zuru Zuru in Swahili. Look at that. We're all having a class together. We always speak so much Swahili on this podcast. Zuru means ghost.

Oh, that's sad. So albinos in Swahili are called ghost ghost that's so sad albinism is more common in tanzania than in other parts of the world and in other in the early 2000s mass killings of albinos occurred traditional medicine is still a large part of tanzanian culture and the unique is desirable so you can probably tell where this is going oh i can and i don't like it the white skin of albinos is definitely unique and they were basically harvested for their white body parts oh my gosh and healing spells oh my god however these body parts fetch a high price of 75 grand for a full albino body and that's

75 000 dollars dollars usd which is already really expensive in the u.s let alone east africa For a full albino body. What? $75,000 USD. Which is already really expensive in the US, let alone East Africa. Holy crap. Fuck. The best parts are the genitals. Of course. But sometimes the only thing people can get away with is just chopping off an albino's arm and then running away with it. What?

Their bodies will sometimes be dug up by witch doctors oh my god i'm holy shit this is a weird turn of events i hope this isn't still happening i mean it said early 2000s that's not very long ago true shit here's some of the things albinism can supposedly cure oh boy having sex with an albino can cure aids so albinos are often raped fuck me that wouldn't happen why the fuck why did i choose this story body parts are worn as talismans body parts are used as ingredients and potions to heal illness like a cure-all which we know cure-alls cure nothing um their body parts are also believed to just bring general good luck but some people have killed albinos because they thought of them to be cursed so there's a lot of mixed messages going

around i can understand apparently the woman who bears an albino child can be ostracized because it is believed that the albino was the product of infidelity oh my god not a cure but apparently there is a registry for albinos in tanzania which is kind of fucked up kind of more like definitely this is still going on which is super sad and while i was on the mainland an albino man broke into my room to ask me for money what to support the albino cause what like literally this hulking dude climbed up the fire escape of my temporary dorm room at a university in tanzania and just waltzed into my room at night hell no that alone is its own fucking scary that's a true crime that's fucking terrifying the only way i got him to leave was to tell was to let him tell me

the story of albino murders in tanzania and how he sought refuge in kenya and of course i felt horrible that this happened to him but at the same time get out of my room bro for real talking with some of my friends i lived with in zanzibar the one woman who was blonde recollected being told to be nervous about her blonde hair and she had a few people grabbing at her hair which is really fucking creepy thank god i'm a brunette lastly since over 200 people have been killed for being albinos and that number is likely higher since infanticide is common the united nations has stepped in to stop this and it has gotten better since the 2000s but albinos still face persecution motherfucker that's so sad on the flip side she wrote and that's why i drank in swahili oh naquamba niqua mimi kunyawa that's amazing

anyway wow that was a roller coaster it was definitely something i don't ever want to have to read about again we know so much swahili i feel like oh yeah we're basically globetrotters basically why don't you tell us a story okay see if it takes us somewhere new all right here we go ready yeah hi guys big fan of the podcast i wanted to submit my ghost story who's this this is r hey r hey r all righty hey arnold ah all for you just for you are when i was in the first grade i was a serious dreamer a voracious reader and basically a total dork to my classmates wonderful me too stewart mancus i didn't have a lot of friends at my school so i spent a lot of time

alone on the playground ditto one day a boy came up to me and asked if i wanted to play his name was milo and we became inseparable oh milo not cute name i just have a hedgehog name milo that's right i'm like that's how you knew the name oh milo that's a good name i mean you have a hedgehog named milo he a sweetheart. He's an itty bitty baby. He was in a different class, but I could always count on him waiting for me when I got out for recess. Summer came and the next year he never showed up. I kind of assumed he had moved or gone to another school and forgot about him. Fast forward a few years. I'm now in middle school with a pretty good circle of friends.

Kids that had also been in my first grade class. It's a small town. We were talking about people we knew and wondering what happened to them and i brought up milo i didn't know his last name but thought maybe one of them would know as i described him and told them about my time with him they got weird and quiet when i asked what was wrong one of them finally told me we never hung out with you because you were weird you were always running around alone and talking to yourself shut the fuck up it turns out what it turns out that for almost a whole year i had been the weird girl because milo to the best of my knowledge wasn't visible to anyone else what the fuck i've never looked into deaths around the area and honestly i've been scared to ask i never got a

bad feeling and always wondered if he was a ghost or a guardian angel. Anyway, thanks for the show. Have fun scaring everyone. Best, R. What the fuck? That one freaked me out. Christine! Yo! They were like, you were talking to yourself for a year.

Can you imagine, like, your whole life growing up and then sitting with all of your peers and then just, like, confidently talking about that experience and they're like, look, we thought we never had to cross this bridge, but I guess we're gonna have to talk to you about how fucking crazy you were. Like, that person doesn't exist. That's wild. Isn't that wild? It's also, I wonder what their...

Ugh, I just got chills. I know, this one creeped me out. Christine. I know, that was a good one. That one got me good. That was a good one. That one got me to the core. Whoa, Milo.

Thank you, R. All right, let's see how this one goes. What's next a good one that one got me to the core whoa milo thank you r all right let's see how this one goes what's next this one's name is not r but this one's name is j whoa hey oh okay okay oh and i got a winky face emoji from her thank you girl wait unless your name's not unless you're not a girl it's a girl however you identify she's a patreon supporter you know too much about things that i don't know anything about listen we could probably talk about each of our patreon donors like donators like their uh trading cards be like oh well did you know that this one this one this one what if we made creepy trading cards that would be where they're we found the

line we found the line we finally did it we finally found a line on appropriate we've been trying to push it for so long we found it and i think you're wiggling your toe over the wood right now okay my name is jay um and i live in canada in case you're interested yeah jay i'm fucking interested we're interested can you imagine the day that i get to take geo to canada i will never come what are you gonna like that sounds like you're gonna abduct him and move to you can come he's just gonna go to canada with me what is wrong with you keep reading um when i was six my mother was temporarily separated from my stepfather my two-year-old brother and i moved in with her into an older

home in an italian neighborhood we rented the top floor of a small, tall house. In order to enter our apartment, we would unlock the front door, access the shared foyer, go up the stairs, and unlock a secondary door that led into another area. The landlords were an odd... Oh, not odd. Older couple. They were an older couple. Very quiet, reclusive...

Oh, and odd i was gonna say all right we sound pretty odd uh as strange as they were my mother shrugged it off it's not like we had to associate with them that much but because she had two small children she installed a deadbolt and chain just to be safe smart lady smart mom as a smart mom smart mama smart mama um our living space was quite small and the bedroom only could fit a twin bed in my brother's toddler bed i wound up on the sofa bed in the living room in the opposite end of the apartment i didn't mind it because we had beautiful large bay windows in the room and i liked looking at the skies i slept we lived in that house for a year during that time my mother grew more and more convinced there was something wrong with the place strange noises at night lights turning on and off all the classic things and then i started having

violent nightmares at first my mother thought i was going through a stage but nothing seemed to help then one night i woke up with a i woke up with a start and began vomiting large amounts of Frank blood. What the fuck is Frank blood? Maybe. Frank rank blood. Or dark blood? Frank blood. Let's just go with blood.

Okay, anyway. Imagine if it was large amounts of Frank's blood. Who's Frank? And another character enters. Okay. She ate him. Okay, large amounts of blood, which is horrible. Okay, yeah. Let's talk about that for a second let's talk about it wow oh okay you're probably good conversation in a very ill place oh yeah uh my mom rushed me to the er where they discovered

i had somehow sliced open the lining of my trachea and I needed to have that carterized ASAP. How do you just not, how do you just fall asleep and wake up with your trachea slit? That is from the inside. You like swallow a razor blade? I don't know. That's horrifying. I don't even, I don't even know what to do with that. Oh my god, my throat hurts just thinking about it. Let me tell you, I have never forgotten the horror of being strapped to the gurney as medical staff stuck silver nitrate sticks down my throat to basically burn the flesh back together to stop the bleeding oh my god oh my god oh my god oh my god traumatizing for a six-year-old scratch that for everyone. Listen. Yeah. Holy shit. Jay, are you okay?

Jay, do you need a friend? I want to like send you flowers or something. Holy shit, Jay. This is stressing me out. Do you have a Patreon? Like what? What will help you? Our Patreon is now dedicated to Jay.

Holy shit. That's like, I don't even, I have so many questions, but I want to know none of the answers. I know. It like hurts my throat to even think about. Imagine the fear of going to sleep again. That is a good point. Who knows what the fuck you would wake up to next?

You wake up with a, how? No. I wouldn't fall asleep again. I feel like we're probably triggering her again. Yeah, Jay, you can sign out if you want. I get it. I'm sorry, Jay. Wow.

Holy crap. Wild. Okay. That makes me want. I get it. I'm sorry, Jay. Wow. Holy crap. Wild. Okay. That makes me want to go to church. The doctor. I want to pray for her. Okay. It's true.

The doctor wasn't sure what caused the rupture, or maybe he did have a theory, but my mom has denied that he ever gave one. As far as my mother was concerned, this was a bad omen. Uh, yeah. one as far as my mother was concerned this was a bad omen oh yeah ultimately what pushed my mom over was what happened the following what did you rupture two necks wait something else happened that pushed her over the edge yeah okay it was a hot summer night we live by a lake so summers can be incredibly horrifically humid apparently this was no exception we didn't even have ac that's hell that is hell that's how

humid summer mom was awoken that night to the sound of heavy steady footsteps going up the stairs to the second floor apartment this was disconcerting for my mother because it was the middle of the night and she couldn't place those footsteps where she was hearing regardless she expected them to stop once they reached our heavily locked door and said without a pause the steps continued right into our apartment no and took a sharp left turn a sharp left into the living room where i was sleeping my mom felt like she couldn't move she tried to get up to call out but for some reason was unable to do anything so like paralysis she claims the whole apartment went silent and what felt like hours in reality it might have

only been 10 minutes suddenly the footsteps started again this time the steps were heading towards the kitchen on the other end of the apartment in order to get there whoever was there would have to pass by the open door of my mother's room oh my god she had a perfect view in the hallway yet when the steps passed her door, no one was there. Oh my god. The steps continued forward without slowing and eventually faded away. As soon as the sound had ceased, my mother was able to move again. She jumped out of bed and ran to see if I was okay. I was still asleep but freezing cold to the touch. I remember my mother shaking me awake

in a panic repeatedly saying we need to leave good girl oh my god that night she packed a small bag of essentials and took my brother and i to one of our friends houses we crashed on the basement floor for a few weeks until we found another place to live i never stepped foot back in that house uh my mom went back only once she came to pack up our clothes and small pieces she arranged for the for the furniture almost said funeral i was like who died she arranged for the funeral she arranged for the furniture to be donated and had been ready to battle with the landlords about breaking the lease instead she found that they didn't put up any fight no anger no confusion no questions oh that's they fucking knew that's why since then

i've had odd things happen to me and seen people and things other people claim they can't see admittedly i'm still quite skeptical of everything including things i thought i saw heard experienced i constantly assume i'm just sleep deprived and overworked while i may be a skeptic my mother steadfastly insists i'm far more sensitive to the spiritual world and she's still traumatized about that supposed midnight visit years ago don't get me wrong i believe in the supernatural but i tend to approach the world with heavy skepticism and lots of science i just like to jump to conclusions or i just don't like to jump to i like to jump to conclusions m's like wait that's my opinion it was a ghost

uh that being said there is definitely events i have not been able to explain away thankfully to jump to conclusions. I like to jump to conclusions. Em's like, wait, that's my opinion. It was a ghost. That being said, there is definitely events I have not been able to explain away. Thankfully, nothing malevolent has ever happened. All events seem to be more benign. Thank you, Mrs. Omnipresence. Overall, I love the paranormal, but my real passion is true crime.

Hey, Christine. Hey, hey, hey. Because of the way I see it, the living are so much more terrifying and fucked up than the dead for the most part anyway at least unless it's a demon true fair i don't mess with that me neither anymore i don't need that nonsense in my life thank you em and christine for being ridiculously cool informative entertaining and relatable keeping awesome looking forward to future episodes thanks jay that's a great fucking story dude her fucking trachea was ripped open how can you be a like with if you have if you can justify everything

with science please justify that rupture in your throat because that's terrifying that makes me feel like an idiot because i'm like i believe everything but i've never had any sort of experience like that. I know. Okay. Okay. Okay. I have one more story for you. Okay. This is from James. Hi, James.

Hi, James. When I was in high school, I was obsessed with the paranormal. One night, my dad and stepmother went out, leaving me alone in our brand new house. So naturally, I decided to get a tape recorder and see if i could get some evp electronic voice phenomena perfect i turned out all the lights lit candles and walked around asking random questions this sounds like me in high school oh my god it's uh what is it um the hardy boys yeah yeah yeah um i was adamant that i would get something but after two hours, it was about midnight, and I had a lot of tape to go through in the hopes I'd get something. Now, I was a stupid 16-year-old.

We all were. Weren't we all? If you're investigating your own home, probably would be a good idea to not do it in the dark with only candlelight to light your way. Can you imagine? I'm just picturing myself walking around with a candle in my house. I feel like it looked cooler

in the 1800s when they had, like, that brass copper handle to, like, carry it around when you're, like, in your weird onesie pajama with the hat that matched. Yeah, with the finger...

Yeah. ...handle. But nowadays, it's, like, you might as well use a Zippo and get the same effect. Like, why are you holding a Glade scented candle? Yeah, exactly. Like, oh, is that, like you holding a Glade scented candle? Yeah, exactly.

Like, oh, is that, like, sponsored by Febreze or something? Oh, okay. So far, you've got a great story, James. It's great. I wasn't... Okay. Whoa. If you're investigating your own home, probably would be a good idea to not do it in the dark

with only candlelight to light your way. Basically, I fell down a flight of stairs. With candle oh no oh no i wasn't seriously hurt but i felt embarrassed i would too james and decided to call my investigation to an end the end the worst part of that for me would have been as I'm falling, I wouldn't even have time to think about getting hurt because I'd be thinking, one, the place is about to catch on fire. For sure. Two, if it doesn't catch on fire, there's still melted fucking wax all the way down these stairs and my parents might come home any minute.

I'm a fizzucked. This is a brand new house and I've left a trail of wax. Of glade scented wax. My mom was like, here's the new place. Spotless. we'll be back in 20 minutes and then i just pour hot melted wax everywhere there's like fresh cotton scented and it's it's either brand new wood or brand new carpet it's not good either way either way it's horrible so fortunately so good luck james he did not injure himself luckily all he had to worry

about was feeling embarrassed that's true and he was. So at least it wasn't in front of like a group, you know. Okay, let's see. I went to bed and when I got up the next day, I went through the tedious process of going through my recording of the previous night. Oh my God, I'm ready. My hopes were dashed as I neared the end of the tape where every question was responded with nothing but silence. I cringed as I eventually heard the distinct sound of me. He just heard like you woke up to you oh when when james have yeah he would have so so embarrassing i cringed as i eventually heard the distinct sound of me yelping oh no followed by the crashes of me

toppling down the stairs but then an excited chill went up my spine as I heard the voice of what sounded like a little girl saying, Are you okay? Aww. Isn't that crazy? That's crazy and adorable. I had kept the tape recorder for years, but unfortunately it was stolen by an old roommate. What? Bitch.

What the fuck? I would find her. Or him. Or they. they they where are you bitch no matter what you're a little bitch that's the second time i've said that word on this podcast christine is out to play whoa whoa whoa we all know that if i fell down the stairs geo would literally look at me and then go back to sleep and be like i don't even care what you know how dogs are supposed to come to you when you're crying. I've been like sobbing in front of him and he just looks at me and like

walks out of the room. Cause I'm too loud. Have you seen the video of that guy falling in front of his dog to see what would happen? Oh, I didn't watch it. Cause I thought it would upset me. He was walking his like dachshund or something and he's walking down the

street in his neighborhood and he pretends he like has a heart attack and falls over and then keeps filming to see what the dog does. And the dog just keeps walking at the exact same pace down the street in his neighborhood and he pretends he like has a heart attack and falls over and then keeps filming to see what the dog does and the dog just keeps walking at the exact same pace down the street like just like you'll get over it that's a thousand percent what g would he doesn't feel like shit he would be like honestly you're keeping me from my walk so if you could hurry this up that'd be great i have literally fallen like hurt myself and he's like can you i'm trying to sleep he's an emotional support animal too i know stop being so fucking loud okay so this girl is the most adorable ghost i've ever heard of i know that's a that's a i don't want to take away from that story that's an awesome story

what a sweetheart oh there's more okay oh it'd be creepier if the girl said, are you okay? And then someone else said, hope not. Like I pushed him. Yeah. Someone else was like guilty. Or if they were like, follow us at ATWWD podcast. What the fuck? What? So that someone was like you dead?

Yeah. It was me dead in the future, but coming back to the past to be in someone's story that they would tell in our present. Oh, sure. You know how it works. Sure. That makes so makes so much sense right that's why he's listening obviously um let's see he says and that's why i drink yep yes yes understood i love your podcast and have added it to my favorites list keep up the amazing work oh thank you what's his name james james and then he said another story he says i have another story that's pretty personal oh no i just got it from my dad today

oh no it involves me when i was very little and i figured i'd share it it's up to you guys if you want to read it on your show or not some of it i personally remember but other parts my dad filled in for me from what i had told him oh my and it involves one of the most personally traumatic parts of my life so i kind of have spent most of the day working up even writing this since i don't talk about it much oh okay i know i i emailed him to be like are you sure you're okay if we share this okay so okay when i was five i saw my mom die oh my god i know i remember her trying to wake me up to go to school and and I just didn't want to. I think I was in pre-K or something.

I suddenly heard a loud thud and jumped out of bed to see her laying there on the floor in front of the door. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. I know. For some reason, the thing that still stands out to me in my memory of that day was a blue tool bag laying beside her. I tried waking her up and didn't get any response. I tried waking her up and didn't get any response. In my childlike mind, I forced myself to cry and had my tears drop on her because in Beauty and the Beast, that's how Belle got the beast to wake up.

Oh my god. Oh my god. That's so sad. This is horrible. Oh my god. I would have done the same shit though. I know. Oh my god.

James. Oh my God. For me, the next part is fuzzy, but my dad told me I had told him that the next, I had told him that day when he picked me up at the hospital that I had heard a man's voice very harshly tell me to stop crying, to get dressed and to go next door to get help. I did as the man said and knocked on my neighbor's door. I told him my mom was on the floor, not waking up. My neighbor called an ambulance, which took me and my mom to the hospital where she died. Oh, my God.

I'm not sure if the voice I heard was God, a guardian angel, or a helpful ghost, but whatever it was, even though we were too late to save my mom, I'm thankful for it's telling me what to do in that situation. Because I don't know how long I would have been there trying to wake her up, not fully understanding what was going on otherwise. Oh, my God. I'm sorry. I just shared the most heartbreaking story ever on this podcast i yeah i like i just but it needed to be heard i think i don't even i don't i don't even i know so that is what happened i do wonder if it was a guardian angel. I bet it was. It's something. It was something there to help him.

To be like. Get through it. Get dressed. Put on some clothes. Go next door. Get help. Wow. You know, like, how does that.

He was like a pre-K. Right. You don't just formulate that. A little baby. Yeah. Wow. And he says he remembers a man's voice that. A little baby. Yeah. Wow. And he says he remembers a man's voice telling him what to do. I don't even...

James. James. This one's for you, man. We love you, James. Thank you for... You realize that's his first time telling the story to someone. Because he learned about it today. Well, he knew some of it.

Well, he says he's starting a youtube soon so james when you start a youtube page you should tell us let us know we want to see it we want to talk about it jesus you're the best sorry that i i always do this what did you do christine i don't know him i think that it's important though that we still tell the ones that are hard because even like you said in the last episode even we even though we joke about it sometimes even we need a reality check of like holy shit this is real there's real people behind every story how do we how do we get out of this um i know that i ended that on a dark note so i'm just do you want me to tell you one more story just to...

A little, yeah. Okay. Because I don't know how to get out of this. I don't either. It's very sad. I don't know. Godspeed, James. I hope he has an amazing life.

Oh, he will. I hope he's having an amazing life. He is, and he will. I'm going to tell Lindsay's story. Okay. This is the best. Hello, Christine M. and Gio. He's so handsome.

In parentheses. Listen, he is so handsome. That doesn't even need to be in the parentheses. You can just say, hi, Christine M. and handsome. I'm pretty sure we're all mocking you. Baby Gio. After sliding into M's DMs on twitter promising my story oh promising my story i think that did happen i believe her i'm finally delivering i grew up in rural northwest iowa and

from a young age i've been sensitive to the paranormal perfect as a true kid of the 80s i got holiday barbies and would display them on the top shelf in my bedroom one night i woke up to one of them falling on the floor, landing face down, and when I glanced over, there was a little girl standing on my desk. No. Under the shelf. No. Looking apologetic.

Okay. When I woke up in the morning, the Barbie box was standing upright, as if someone had picked it up and righted it during the night. No. Side note, these were always pushed against the wall on the shelf, so there is no way they could have fallen over on their own. Interesting fact, I was an only child at this point. This girl would visit fairly often,

sometimes sitting at the end of my bed and leaving a visible dent in the bedding. Fuck that. Fuck that. Fuck that. Em's having a connection. Fuck that. I literally, I have like, look at. Em's freaking out.

I have like goosebumps all all i needed to hear was the indent in the bed because i've had that exact experience and i'm like that's one thing i hope to never see again oh the the chills just keep coming don't they oh man oh man oh man that's only the first paragraph leaving a visible also why she's standing on the desk that's because she was trying to reach the bear. Oh, I thought she was just like Samara-ing. A gorilla? What are you?

Just like full Heisman stance. Hulking out over there. I didn't know what she was doing. I didn't connect it with getting the doll. She was trying to get the Barbies. I know now. I didn't get it then. I thought she was just like, she woke up and saw a little girl staring at her

while standing on the desk. Okay, that's a lot creepier. I was this is now the ring out of context it for sure sounds like samara from the ring at least she was just trying to play with toys that i can get she was looking apologetic she just wanted a barbie years later when we were moving to a bigger city we were looking at houses and one in particular gave me an eerie feeling when it came time to go and check out the attached garage i flat out refused to cross the threshold after we all piled into the car my dad confided that the real estate agent told him the previous owner had killed themselves in the garage no

which is why the windows had been painted over so no one would see him after he hung himself oh no when we eventually found a house and I started, and I entered high school, I made friends with a bunch of self-proclaimed Wiccans who let me borrow some of their spell books so I could copy down the rights. If they were real Wiccans, they would tell you to never do anything with their stuff without a Wiccan nearby in case you ruin it. Sure, I'm just gonna take your word for it. I would not want to mess with a spell book if i didn't know exactly how to do every motion of the spell fair point keep in mind this was during the oh this is the best keep in mind this was during the age of dial-up modems and ask jeeves so don't

judge too late so weird that she's bringing up ask jeeves because i had two different conversations about ask jeeves today we also just brought that up in a recent episode. Didn't we? Yeah. Ask Jeeves is getting real popular again. He's coming back. It's like retro, you know? Yeah, he's doing the whole thing. Urban Outfitters is gonna sell Ask Jeeves shirts. I was literally thinking that exact thing. I was like, I wonder what they would put Ask Jeeves on.

I was like, maybe a fanny pack. For sure, a fanny pack. Basically, we're doing big fucking things for Urban Outfitters right now, and they're not appreciating it. Well, they owe us a lot of money is really what it boils down to. They're about to when Ask Jeeves comes back. And I remember you said something about Ask Jeeves, and then we talked about the paperclip from Microsoft Word. I feel like it's all going to come back.

He's a cool dude. You know what would be cool? Oh, tell me, Em. What would be if they took all of the retro earliest editions of technology and just like did like a modge podge cover on a notebook or something like they had like the paperclip they had ass jeeves they had um like organ trail oh they had um remember the original um aim yes the old not not just like the when everyone could download it but like when you had there were like six month trial cds of AIM they would mail you a cd and you would have to yeah

and he was like in the little the AOL Illuminati eye thing yeah and my mom was like that's a virus I'll lose my green card don't put that in the computer my dad thought it was a virus too oh my gosh whatever I still did it I feel like our parents have this like fear of viruses uh probably because we all lime wired the shit out of their computers that's true probably because we downloaded so many viruses i like i wonder why i could ask myself like why were they so afraid of viruses and it's like oh because my generation was the first one to put viruses on all their shit so like the reason it's honestly our fault that malware exists is because we downloaded so many fucking viruses did you ever use emule it was like limewire but even shadier i my mom literally broke my computer and like i downloaded it and my computer basically went

goodbye and went i was like okay we're not gonna tell my mom i don't have a computer anymore that's the thing my mom told me that if i downloaded limewire that she would be kicked out of the country and i'd be an orphan so she like i'm not even i'm not exact like she literally was like you will have no parents like she used to scare the shit out of us so instead of getting limewire like my friend would get it and then i'd make her like burn me cds right because i was always the worst because limewire one song kids these days don't realize how kids these days kids these days don't appreciate how easy music comes to them because if we had a limewire one song sometimes it would take like 16 hours you'd have to like put your computer on overnight yeah and it wasn't a computer they didn't stay awake you had to regularly like every 15 minutes shake the mouse to keep it on so you

didn't sleep that night. And then once you burnt it, then you could finally play the song and you would hear that it was garbage and horrible. And there'd be someone talking over it. Yeah, there'd be someone being like, Introducing my production, duction, duction, duction. Like, on top of the music. Okay.

What was I gonna do? Oh, tell a quick story about Lindsay, but we keep finding ways to ignore her story entirely. I'm X-ing everything hang on so she made friends with wickens right as you do how do we do this how do we do this i don't know keep in mind this was during oh right during the age of dial-up modems all right okay right so don't judge anyway being the idiot teenager i was i started messing around with shit i didn't understand and i immediately wished that i hadn't to this day i maintain that i somehow managed to open up some sort of i don't want to say portal but some sort of gateway for

malevolent spirits no this includes waking up to a bride sobbing in the middle of my floor What? No. No. No. No. What the fuck? Oh, okay. He sounds the coolest so far.

Oh, maybe not. frequently oh never mind john needs to read the room and know when to go you spoke too soon john would appear at random some nights i would wake up feeling watched then look over at my picture window by the way i had to google what a picture window was what's the picture window oh you don't know either okay i thought i was what's the picture it's like a window that doesn't really open. It's just like there. Just so you can look at the picture of nature? Well, it's like an actual window. It just doesn't open, I think.

Okay. It's just like a window in the wall. Sure, whatever. But you can't necessarily open it. I've never known that. I don't know. I think that's what it means. Okay.

Some nights I would wake up feeling watched, then look over at my picture window and notice a shadow in front of my desk whenever he was aware that i was watching he would immediately okay this is the worst part oh my god he would immediately stomp over and stop right next to my head and breathe heavily down at me what the absolute fuck the air would get really cold and i would start to cry and say prayers, even though I'm an atheist. Okay, yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. We get it. In an attempt to get him to leave, eventually he would walk away and disappear. There were a few occasions when I would be showering and feel him in there, waiting outside the shower curtain for me to come out. One day, after I had closed the curtain behind me, I actually saw him in the mirror moving it back open no and ran out of the room screaming naked yes i don't blame her in a towel i've had that shit happen to me too i felt i literally i know in my heart that there was something in the shower with me and it's just like an extra casing of vulnerability that's because you're full-blown naked like what do you what do you cover when there's also nothing in the bathroom with you but there's definitely something in the bath and it's

an enclosed space it's an enclosed space and i could feel pure evil anger like almost didn't even care that i was naked it just hated me and knew that this is where i was alone uncomfortable yeah oh my god well and then she gets out to be like whatever it's nothing and then sees it in the mirror like oh my god holy shit lindsey um after i moved away to start college i didn't notice his presence at the house which led me to believe that he had been targeting me specifically that being said the first night my boyfriend now husband slept over in my room he asked me the next morning if my dad did that normally when i asked him what the hell he was talking about he told me that throughout the night he'd heard a man's heavy footsteps going up and down the stairs outside my room my dad had been fast asleep the whole night uh again sorry this email was so freaking long i loved your podcast wish you guys didn't live so far away

because you sound like just the kind of people i'd love to drink wine and milkshakes and talk crime and ghost stories with in person. Stay thirsty and tell Gio he's handsome for me. Oh, he is so handsome. Em, you've done that enough tonight. Itty bitty baby Gio. Lindsay. Ugh. I like that the boyfriend was aware.

That happened when I was with my last ex. Yeah. Where I, like, I always thought I was crazy. And then, because in my room there's always been something that specifically targets me, I think, because it knows that I'm the most sensitive. Like it knows my mom just does not have time for it, so it leaves her alone. But I'm very aware of it and have been since I moved into that room when I was four. Right. my ex was over which was for years right would every night like i kind of got used to it so i started falling asleep and i just by the time she was in my life i was like all right i'm gonna

fall asleep and just ignore it and hopefully when i wake up it's gone yeah and she wasn't used to it so she would wake up she'd wake me up in the middle of the night and be like there's literally someone walking in your room oh my god oh my god oh my god oh my god and i'd be like i know that's why i fucking went to sleep so i could ignore it until the until morning are you serious oh yeah we saw a lot of shit in that room like and i always thought i was crazy but thank god there was someone else there at some point to be like i saw it too and that's why there was one night where there was like we were lying in bed and there was this, and so I, the way that my room is set up is my bed is in, when I move, when we moved in, my bedroom had an attached bath to it. Yeah.

Because I was an only child and there were two beds with, two bedrooms with attached baths. So I just got one of them. Hashtag spoiled. I know. I know. I'm totally kidding. No, but I was. And so, but because we had a bathroom right down the hall

and I was so little, I didn't really need a bathroom. They like made it like additional closet space and storage for me. Right. So then as I got older, I was like, that's an off room. That's exactly the size of my bed. So if I put my bed in there, then I have a giant room. I love that. More room for activities. So I put like a couch in there with a tv and it's like essentially it was my bedroom but there was no bed in there because it's where the bathroom it wasn't like a sleeping space right right it was like a hangout space that's so cool and um and so my bed is in a spot that there's there's nothing there's no room to walk around or anything it's just my bed is in there and then the only way to get out is to like shuffle over to the foot of the bed and get out through the doorway right but my it's just like

a mattress room essentially right so we were lying in there and the only access i'm already freaked out i don't know the only oh it's because you feel trapped and enclosed yes um but the only access to get out of that room is the doorway into the actual room and then you have to walk through the room to get out of the into the hallway right and every night we would either see a shadow standing over us we would hear heavy like boot footsteps walk walk because i had hardwood floors in my room hashtag spoiled hashtag um and you so you could hear like heavy footsteps clonking like back and forth through the room so like if me or my at the time girlfriend like had to like pee in the middle of the night you couldn't get up and walk through the room to get to the hallway because you could hear footsteps like

almost trapping us in the room oh i'd be screwed and so one night we were lying there and all of a sudden we saw like this giant like bright fluorescent blue like a white blue electric essentially it was like a lightning bolt like that went through the entire room and it went like pop pop pop and it like showed up three times and then it was gone yeah and i was like did you fucking see that and she's like i saw yeah we both saw it and can describe it the exact same way. What the fuck? And because we're in that room, there's no window. The only window we have,

it's like totally like there's a blackout curtain in front of it. It was the middle of the night. You can't see into the other room, uh, through the windows because those blinds were down. Like it was a pitch black room and we saw like bright electric lightning. It was totally silent, but it absolutely made itself known and we're

like and then was gone what what what was it i don't know what the what the hell but this is a whole roundabout story to say thank god her boyfriend witnessed it so she doesn't feel like she's crazy totally because i spent what almost 20 years in that room wondering if i was crazy and then i finally had someone spending the night almost every night for three years being like no i see that shit like what is going on that is real to have like just the i'm imagining your room and to have a bed inside that closet that scares the crap out of me i don't know and my mom will still i so i'll still go home and i'll sleep on the couch downstairs and my mom has the nerve to be like why like are you do you not like your bed in that room do you not like your bed in in that little closet space like why don't you just move it out

into the main room and i'm like because then i'm in the room with the guy that walks around and flashes lightning at me i'm not gonna go in there that's a fair point that's a fair she doesn't seem to get it so i feel like my mother would be the same way like stop wasting space i'm like honestly why don't you go start sleeping in my room and find out for yourself? You'll sleep on the couch, too. Yikes. You know, I feel like we're always like, these are the best episodes. And then we do them and we're like, whoa.

This really, this one was the best one so far, I think. This one really got me good. Yeah. I think this is the longest one, too. Good luck editing. Thank you. Even once I edit it, I have a feeling it's going to be the longest one. Yeah.

So, sorry, y'all. If you're still here, you're the best. You're the best around. Whoa. That was supposed to be an 80s song, but it didn't work out well. That sounded pretty good to me. Anyway, thank you guys. I'm sorry for Christine having to edit this. Oh, I thought you were going to say you're sorry for me. Oh, I'm sorry for good to me. Anyway, thank you guys. I'm sorry for Christine having to edit this.

Oh, I thought you were going to say you're sorry for me. Oh, I'm sorry for you knowing me. And then, well, I think that's all so far. So the next episode will be August 1st. What? The next listeners episode will be August 1st. Oh, I thought you meant the next episode episode. Oh, maybe if we decide we don't like you anymore.

We need a break. This is honestly too much for us. The next listeners episode will be if we decide we don't like you anymore we need a break this is honestly too much for us the next listeners episode will be in august yuck that's weird we only have five more until the new year yeah until the year of my wedding that's what we're gonna call it oh shit you realize that means we only have 15 more listeners episodes until you get married you're giving me so much anxiety okay cue the tears okay okay we're gonna i have to go to work tomorrow oh shit it's 11 30 okay bye guys bye and and that's why we're drinking maybe sure bye linda bye mom