And That's Why We Drink - Listener Stories: Vol. 54

Episode Date: April 1, 2021

Does this melodious voice sound familiar? Maybe even like it was cursed by a witch in order to achieve paranormal radio stardom? That's right, we have the one and only Terry Carnation from Dark Air as our first, best (and only) guest. He's known by many names and we've heard the moniker Rainn Wilson floating around too but we firmly believe that identity theft is real, so we're hoping the latter isn't a fraudulent imposter. Happy April Fools Day! Don't forget to store your souls (NOT sperm) in a crystal pendant and wear it non-stop in case you expire in the Venice canals and have to be fished out by a gondolier (or Em's bare hands)... and that's why we drink!Make sure to listen to Terry's triumphant return to radio in Dark Air, premiering April 1st, 2021! You can also hear Terry on Radio Rental and explore his collection of spooky stories on VHS - both are available on all your favorite listening platforms! Please consider supporting the companies that support us! Right now, you can get $75 off your first order at Burrow.com/DRINKTo help you welcome the new season in style, Rothy’s is doing something they’ve never done before. Through May 9th 2021, you can get $20 off your first purchase of $100 or more at Rothys.com/DRINK Explore your creativity at Skillshare.com/DRINK and get a free trial of Premium Membership!Go to HelloFresh.com/drink12 and use code drink12 for 12 free meals, includingfree shipping!Go to Curology.com/DRINK for a free 30-day trial, just pay for shipping and handling!

hello and welcome to and that's why we drink i'm m schultz and i'm christine schieffer april fools what if that was the special april fools we planned this whole time can you imagine that's the thing we've been hyping up like oh you have no idea how crazy it'll be worth the wait uh anyway happy april fools to everybody this is uh and that's why we drink listeners episode unlike any other so this april fools uh we decided that we were going to play a prank on you because you've been expecting a listeners episode this whole time psych it's not a listeners episode. This is actually an interview with someone

that is very, very special to us. You have heard us talk about him for a very long time. He goes by many names. One of them happens to be Terry Carnation of the brand new show Dark Air that is out today. He also goes by some other names. We've heard. Rainn Wilson kind of dropped around.

There's a lot of mystere behind Terry's background, his history. Is he Terry? Is he Rainn? Identity theft is not a joke. So I don't know who's who at this point. We'll let you decide. How about that? We'll let you decide the true identity of our

guest today so please uh kick back and relax as we get to talk to one of our paranormal heroes heroes in general here right heroes cross the board and i think you all will agree and on top of that if you are listening on april fool's day we are also doing an instagram live with terry carnation today so please go check that out and watch us have a second try at talking to him without me mentioning sperm. You'll know what I'm talking about later on in this episode. You can find us at ATWWD podcast on Instagram. Hello, Terry. Can you hear us? M. Yes, Wow, Terry, it was great to finally see you in person, not just over the airwaves. Drink me in. Yeah, I'm going to take a minute and drink him in.

M, you can go ahead. Well, welcome everyone to a very special episode of And That's Why We Drink. And today we have the most special guest we've ever had. My heart is palpitating. You are one of our heroes pause you right here let me pause you right here the most special guest you've ever had let me tell you you are the so to me how many guests have we had we've had zero and also though but to be fair to be fair our we have a paranormal podcast you You're the inspiration for it. We grew up listening to you.

I since I was seven, I wanted to be a paranormal investigator, which I did in college because of you. So we have M's palpitating. I mean, the reason we're saying we never had a guest before we had to wait for like the ultimate pinnacle guest experience one and done. We got it in the books. For those of you who don't know just not to take over but just so everyone else knows who the heck this is first of all you should know

because we have talked about him for what four years now on this podcast this is hopefully you recognize his sultry voice uh you know him as the host of the paranormal call-in show dark air which is coming back as of today so please go check it out after this interview but welcome legendary radio personality Terry Carnation thank you so much for sitting down with us that was the warmest kindest most interesting introduction I've ever received thank you most interesting we've waited our whole lives to be able to say it so um thank you so much curious about something you reveal so much about yourself, but especially you reveal your actual bedroom. I did.

Well, the pandemic. There's only so much space in an apartment. So this is what I've got. But it's clean. And that's a first also. It is very clean. What a well-made bed. Thank you.

I worked hard. I knew it would be in your line of sight. This is why I record in a corner, because nobody needs to see any other aspect of my home, because it's certainly not clean or organized. Well, you two are a pair of paranormal investigators. I'm just going to get lumped in as another investigator. Forget true crime. Thank you so much. get lumped in as another investigator. Forget true crime. Thank you so much. And we've, we have a lot of questions I've, I've waited my whole life to ask you. I know Christine's the same. We are both a big part of the carnation nation. So for many years,

you hosted a very successful show, dark air, again, a paranormal advice show. Everyone should go check out. And last we heard you abruptly left the airwaves, which was a devastating blow to us, obviously, as my heart palpitates for you. But we both grew up with dark air. Again, my parents were big fans also. We listened to you on road trips. And now you have this triumphant return to radio. So what's brought you back? Why now?

Well, thank you for asking. This has been a long and arduous road. Essentially, as you know, this was in quite a few of the newspapers. Well, it was in three or four of the regional newspapers in Southern California southern california the alhambra times uh namely uh monrovia gazette a few a few other places but essentially uh my wife passed away zelon tragic zelon very sorry for your loss thank you it was devastating to me. We were very, very close. And she died under quite dubious circumstances involving, well, it involved a trip mental health issues. And this is not something I would ever mock or make fun of. They are very real. And I had a somewhat of a nervous breakdown. And it was part grief. It was part an addiction to ayahuasca.

Happens to the best of us. Yeah. Yes, a little ayahuasca ceremony in the mountains of Peru turned sour. All of a sudden, months later, you find yourself living in a cave, feasting on dead bats. I know it all too well. But I've decided to come back. I feel like I'm ready.

My therapist, Dr. Norman Kes back i feel like i'm ready my therapist dr norman kesden feels that i'm ready um and uh we are premiering we are today today today i and thank you for being so open about that we did have questions about you know some of the the darker parts of most recent years for you but do you without uh know, I don't want to step on any toes that are asking anything too personal, but do you think the, your wife's passing has affected you professionally since you're in such a paranormal space? Do you think it's altered your opinion of the afterlife in any way? Well, that's a fascinating question. Yes. As you know, my catchphrase is I am open to all possibilities.

Yes, I have it on a poster, actually. You can't see it. It's on. It's right in front of them, which is why you can't see it right now. I actually replaced it. I replaced it with this thing so I wouldn't look like too much of a super fan. So, but please go on. Yeah, you decided to hang a hang a rug over it. Anything, anything would do in a pinch, so. Yes, well, I am open to all possibilities, as the two of you are open to all possibilities. And am I open to the possibility of an afterlife?

Yes, I am. I've certainly personally had some interactions of a spectral nature. And I've attempted to make contact with her on the other side. Now, was this during the ayahuasca or was that a separate incident? Just so we're clear for the audience. There was some overlap. Okay.

There was some intersection. There was some crossover if there was a Venn diagram. But for the most part, a most part separate, most part separate. Sure. But yes, I am very open to the possibility of afterlife. I am certain in the world of the spirits and spirit world and that they can make contact with us and we can make contact with them. I think it is but a thin veil you're speaking our language but a thin veil between the two worlds now i'd like to know i see you're wearing a beautiful crystal there on a pendant does that have any special meaning for you uh yes well uh as a matter of fact it contains my soul

oh does it i see yes you're just bearing it all if if i were to um pass on let's say uh god forbid by the way aneurysm or hitting but hit by a freight train or you know or all the usual ways yeah hit in the back of the head with a person by a person with a shovel yes or uh my dentist's drill slips and pierces my brain. That's how I hope to go. Or botched plastic surgery or tumbling down the stairs in Venice and into the lagoon itself where my corpse is found floating by a gondolier three to four days later. Electrocuted, perhaps, by my toaster oven which is has been known to be a bit faulty

so many ways to potentially for me to potentially die what i would ask the two of you is as this pendant contains my essence and by essence i don't mean sperm that's's fine. It could have. I would have been fine with that. I am very pleased that you clarified that, though. Thank you. Yes. It contains my soul. I would ask you to break it open and allow my soul to be free just as my body has been broken. So must this pendant, this medallion be broken to set my essence free. Again, not speaking about-

I see. I mean, that will probably require one of us to climb into the venice canal and m since i'm over in kentucky now and you're on the west coast i think maybe that should fall to you i would happily i would happily help your essence to uh be released into into the atmosphere the the cosmos you would do you would fish my body out of the venice canals terry i'm a very big fan of yours yes i would you what would you use just my bare hands and will sheer will um and we definitely facetime me though i will say m would definitely put it on tiktok or something so i hope that you're prepared for a little bit of, I do hope you, I love clocks.

All right. Do I, do I have your permission to film the experience so everyone can be a part of the ceremony with me? I don't see why not. Perfect. I'm down. I'll make it happen no matter how it has to happen.

So it's just an homage to your radio rental days. Just put it on a VHS. We can keep it in memoriam. I do have a question about your radio rental days. Just put it on a VHS. We can keep it in memoriam. I do have a question about your radio rental days. I know that, so we've already gotten to listen to the episode that aired today and we found out that you did have this dark time in your life, which we've already touched on, but was radio rental part of that? Are we going to get to hear any more about radio rental during dark era? Is this a completely new chapter of life? I was running one of the few video stores in the United States, location undisclosed, and came upon some magnificent stories among those VHS tapes and some interesting young

podcaster people. And we recorded those stories. People were sending in stories from around the nation and uh we had a we had a delightful time together making radio rental and well i hope for many more episodes in the future i um i still pop over to the store uh with malachi and um and we And we get our VHS on. That's what they say. Of the scary stories, we also, on our podcast, we share listener stories. People will submit their own personal spooky experiences.

I wanted to ask, do you happen to have an experience yourself that you like to tell people? If you wanted to share a personal paranormal story. Well, as a matter of fact i do have one when i was a child we're going way back now i'm buckled up this is the 1960s whoa oh my gosh okay i'm ready we uh my parents moved into a house at the top of a hill an old old Victorian, in a small town, a location undisclosed. It's not important now. I wouldn't want people making pilgrimages to said house. Oh, and they would, yeah.

Right, right. The house was haunted, and what would happen is every night we would be awakened by this sound. What is that sound, you might ask? Well, I'll tell you. Every morning we would look around and notice that the furniture was in different locations than when we had been to bed. Interesting.

Something about this spirit did not like the location of our furniture. Interesting. did not like the location of our furniture. Interesting. So my father, Terrence Carnation Sr., he took a piece of chalk and he drew little circles around the legs of all of the furniture pieces in the house. Huh, okay.

That same night, that same night, am any relation to Eric Stoltz? No, but I am very curious as to why you asked that uh just your last name is so similar no uh and also no relationship to the uh charles schultz the peanuts what about carnal schultz from hogan's Heroes. Fictional. Well, in that case, absolutely. So that morning, sure enough, the furniture had all been moved. In some cases, only three or four inches. In some cases, three or four feet. Wow.

So my father, Terrence Carnation, Sr. I was quite young. I have only the vaguest recollection of the furniture moving. And he created a ceremony to rid the house of spirits. And he stayed up late at night. He burned some sage. He read some prayers. He drew a pentagram with some candles. He attempted a pentagram with some candles. He attempted to contact the spirits. He's like, oh, spirit world, leave our furniture alone. Leave us alone. However, that morning I woke up. He had fallen asleep downstairs in his reading chair. That morning I woke up and I heard a voice. Oh my gosh. My father had fallen

asleep and had been placed in the refrigerator. I opened the refrigerator and there he was. Wow. Oh my God. I got nothing. I guess my question is with the sound. Okay, you know what? I'm going to come clean. I made up the part about the refrigerator

it just needed a better ending it was a good button though it's a good button do you want us to edit your admission out in post or do you want us to keep this part in no we can keep it it's fine it's a twist for sure I'm a natural born storyteller

that indeed you had us on the edge of our seats. The ceremony worked and never again did we hear those gruesome haunting sounds. Those sounds were haunting. Our stereo console,

our dinette set, our easy chair, my crib, the loom yes obviously kiln we're all in the exact same place wow that's incredible yeah sounds like a work not as good an ending though it's okay I just wanted to do. Look, it worked. Is that your first interest into the paranormal? Or how did you even get into?

For a living, right? Yeah. What got you into this whole space? Well, that began an odyssey for me of realizing that there are stories underneath stories. That there is a reality under our reality and someone needed to explore it and it might as well be me. And you. You got it, Wes.

And us, but one day we hope to reach your success. That's not going to happen. I know, I know. You've got to have something to strive for. Exactly. Yeah. You're on a vision board and you're at the very top because we know we just may not make it. Yeah.

Em covered it up with a different rug, but it is there. I assure you it's in there somewhere. I wanted to ask, you mentioned Malachi and we're huge animal lovers and that's why we drink. So we also know that Malachi has a little bit of a rowdy personality um we wanted to know if there was any any sort of uh cute beginning to that story what was your meet cute uh how how the two of you found each other oh how did i find malachi or how did malachi find me well i'm a big believer in uh pet rescue so i went down to the local humane society looking for a friend um zelon had passed on and it was one of the first recommendations made by

my therapist dr norman kesden and uh i went looking for some cats and um and there was this adorable little pussy and um he was exceptional or she i'm not quite sure just just adorable and then all of a sudden from behind me a fierce feline entity plunged itself lodging itself under my skull oh my gosh claws digging into my forehead and you said that's the one that's the one and that's what i said that's the one yep and i mean have you not so uh give any spoilers here but i do know in uh dark air the episode today we do find out that one of your colleagues is a pet psychic do you know if she might be able to help with aiding Malachi and some of his behavior? Yes. KSB Radio, where Dark Air makes its home, features a show by Veronica the Pet Psychic.

And she has never spoken to, communicated with, channeled Malachi. But if he keeps tipping over his letterbox, well. He's going to have an appointment set up. Exactly. Thank you. Yes. I wanted to ask there, I did notice some tension between you and Veronica. Yeah, forgive us if this is a little too forward, but we are a hard-hitting, much like the Alhambra Gazette, we are a hard hitting news

source. Yeah. Nothing like the Monrovia Gazette. We're on top of it and we know they're going to ask eventually, so we might as well beat them to the punch. Well, I do remember also during Radio Rental, you were starting to be open more to new relationships. You had a few dating profiles open and now there seems to be an interested suture, sutress. I mean, do you want to make a comment on that? Or I feel like I sense a budding romance happening here. Well, I'm not ready. That's okay.

I'm not ready. I'm not ready, Christine. I'm not ready for that. Yes, I have dabbled. I've dipped my toes into the dating pool here and there. But the wound, she is too fresh. Understood. Also, Veronica is a cuckoo bird.

Oh, yeah. You heard it here first, folks. So, no thank you. What would romance look like for Terry Carnation? What would romance look like? It would look like dinner and a moonlit walk at the beach. And she stumbles over a rock that we couldn't see because the moon was not very strong.

Perhaps twists her ankle. I need to help her back to the car. By this time, she's become very sweaty. Me having to kind of hoist her and prop her up back up the rocks to where we parked her. We can't remember where we parked the car. Was it over here? I can't remember. Was it over here? I can't remember.

Was it over there? All these rocks look alike. Oh, where did the moon go? There's clouds in front of the moon. Damn you! Moon! Now, are you carrying her at this point, or are you dragging? I'm foisting her. I'm foisting. Foisting. Well, it's not...

Like a fireman throw? A fireman carry something understood like that but then all of that oh no i think a spirit overtook your your wi-fi there for a moment you you froze in mid mid foisting we can see you now but i i kind of want to end it on just the fireman hoist and I'll try it with my girlfriend and let you know how it goes. Wonderful. Yeah.

Let me know how it goes because what I'm saying is that the, the connection, the, Oh, I'm getting an alert. My internet connection is unstable. So are we. So that's okay.

Yeah, we get that. It's not the first time we've heard that word. It's not the first time we've heard that word. It's not the only unstable thing going on here, is it? All the shared moisture, the physicality, pieces itself into a release of tension. Right there on the gravel next to the car.

Okay. What does romance look like for Terry Carnation? There's so many possibilities. It's very moist. It sounds... There's definitely a lot of moisture involved. A lot of physicality. I'm into it. I appreciate it.

Thank you. That's sometimes something a lot of people don't like to open up about. I appreciate the the sound relationship advice i'll have to go watch my girlfriend almost break her ankle on some rocks and then take it from there to see what happens yeah um so i don't know i'm speculating m i'm speculating i don't know what romance looks like hopefully the wound is fresh the wound is fresh hopefully we find out in the future before you go, we do have to ask,

I mean, you're an award-winning celebrity radio personality with over 20 years in the business, millions of listens per day. And now that Dark Air is back, it's already a hit with listeners. And as broadcasters ourselves, we have to ask, we would love some advice on how you've been able to create and maintain this

empire i know we'll never fully reach it but what's the terry carnation formula to success that we can at least attempt ourselves it's it's it's a secret it's a secret it froze again it froze again i guess the world doesn't want us to know the answer to that i'm so sorry i keep that's okay i'm so sorry i i was saying that number one have i frozen no you're good you're still there a connection with my listeners i thought you could say wi-fi i was like okay yeah let's write that down first a good good Wi-Fi connection. Perhaps it is a four-fold process, and a strong Wi-Fi signal is... Oh, no. Oh, there he is.

Oh, no. There you go. You're here. You're here now. We see you. There's a ghost or something. Should I go out and come in again as they say uh sure sure no i think you're i think it's fine now no no i think yeah uh we can start the

question over i love that we're getting the miming though that is it actually was perfect timing because we said what's the secret and he the secret is, and then everything just froze. Oh, whoa. Now we see two of you. This is the coolest. Whenever you did, we can see you again. And it looks very interesting. Let's try this again.

What is the secret? Should I ask the question again? Certainly. Okay. Are you, do you, are you, you're good? Your connection again? Certainly. Okay. You're good. Your connection seems pretty stable. Excellent.

Perfect. I'm fine. I'm fine. Here I am. Well, you are an award-winning celebrity radio personality, 20 years in the business, millions of listens per day, and now Dark Air is already a hit with listeners. I'm very excited that you're finally back. And as broadcasters ourselves, we have to ask,

what is your secret to creating and maintaining this empire? Which we know we will never achieve, but we can at least try. What is the secret formula to Terry Carnation levels of success? Excellent question once again. And I will say that it is, it is threefold. Number one, a connection with the listener. To me,

my listeners are my family. Nay, closer than my family. I don't actually like my family very much. My listeners are the family I never had. Oh, yes. Beautiful.

It's great. All 27 million of them. Wow. We share a very close, intimate, non-sexual relationship. Number two, a relationship with the sponsors of the show. We know how important that is. Who sponsors the Why We Drink show? A few people.

Do you have a regular one we do we have uh third love bras rothy shoes hello fresh stamps third love third love bras yes it's so important to support one's breasts with the very best in bra technology third bra, whether you have two or three breasts, even one, we have a bra for every occasion. Put yourself into it, you know, make those ads sing. Your sponsor will thank you and you'll draw more sponsors like flies on peanut butter. Do we have permission to use that spot for our next? Okay, great.

I'd have to just not do one for a week and i also think third love will officially stay with us forever if we have a terry carnation quote to our ad you're welcome perfect well third yes thirdly i had a witch cast a spell on my voice and it's made it extra hypnotic it worked i'll tell you that wow it worked i never even thought about doing that m it makes sense because you've lulled truly lulled me to sleep my whole life so i'll give you her whatsapp that would be excellent yeah we never even thought about hiring a witch to cast a spell never that's maybe that's the key well one last question before you go i hope do you mind one

last question last question please uh sorry christine also for like totally taking charge are you even involved in this listen i'm the fly on the peanut butter i'm just watching all of this unfold i'm watching m's heart palpitate this is beautiful i i really didn't mean to totally uh take over the questions i know this is your moment m uh okay so our listeners know i'm a huge reader i'm a huge book lover and yeah m's definitely the reader of the group i love books but you wrote one that i would put above all else um an excellent think piece i'd like to say uh called the haunting of emily's hair oh i gotta know as a fan this has nothing to do with the interview what was so haunting about emily's hair that you were inspired

to write a book yeah this question has haunted us because we had a little book a mini book club trying to figure out really what was so haunting that uh it inspired i've been asking horror novel i've been asking for years i don't know the answer well it's based on a true story um it started as a novel i've adapted it into a same name um in subsequent episodes of dark air you'll see um that uh there is actually some very real interest in said screenplay by the hollywood establishment oh my god incredible uh first of all i'll say that ridley scott's cousin's secretary read it and loved it. No way. Great taste. Wow. So Emily's hair. It should really be the haunting by Emily's hair. I see.

Because Emily's hair, well, it has a life of its own. Oh, God. Oh, my God. Her enemies come to rue the day they crossed Emily and or her hair. It is haunting indeed. Yeah. I read that thing over and over.

It's I've broken the spine. I need a new copy. I know you can't see it, but it's underneath M's rug over there in the corner. It's a promise. I didn't know any copies just still exist. I it's, I it's actually signed.

I I'm pretty. Yeah. I don't know if you knew you did that. Maybe during the ayahuasca phase, but I, I hold on to that thing near and dear so it might be a it might be fraudulent I'm not really sure we've never had it professionally it's it's definitely a draft I don't know if it was the final copy you just maybe it never actually got published it was published in local kinkos self-published and I

only ran off about three dozen mimeographed copies. Maybe it was a fan fiction that you found on the internet. That makes sense because I was at a Kinko's and saw it in the printer and just kind of grabbed it. And I was like, what is this? And then you sharpied Terry Carnation on the front and forgot that you'd signed it yourself. You may have forgotten. Maybe you thought it was a receipt or something and signed it by accident. I have maybe the only copy left.

So maybe I'll hold on to it and glass case display it for you. Here's a thought for all your listeners. Fan fiction featuring Terry Carnation and the hosts of This Is Why We Like Drinking. Look, please, please make that. That would be excellent. It was built for fan fiction, even novels just fan fiction well thank you so much for taking the time to answer our questions i i hope you realize by now we just love everything you do we're so excited to listen to dark air you're very kind you're very kind please let people know where they can find you and check out everything you've been a part of uh you can find me at 3715 coenga place apartment 2b

uh that's upstairs uh right around the corner over the dumpsters perfect um oh the show yeah the show dark air with terry carnation my return to the radio airwaves can be found wherever good podcasts are found, whether it's on an Apple or in a Spotify or wherever you'd like to find it, just go ahead and find it and follow and subscribe them and listen to them.

Perfect. Excellent. We also have an Instagram live with you today, so hopefully people will check that out and Wonderful. I hope you know about that and it'll be wonderful i hope you know about that it'll be really awkward otherwise i'm not so sure but hopefully hopefully you choose to attend uh well it's fun i don't know this maybe we'll just do it i don't know what that is that is it similar to uh to a telegraph uh i would say close yes and not at all both yes and no is this donald trump's new uh social media network that's his new venture uh it could very well be it's hard to tell these days you know

well thank you so much and we look forward to talking to you it was an honor and we love dark air love radio rental big fans and uh hope we get to chat with you again soon. That would be wunderbar. Say hello to Malachi. Will do. Thank you so much for having me on your wonderful show. Thank you. Bye.

Thanks, Terry.