And That's Why We Drink - Listener Stories: Vol. 68

Episode Date: June 1, 2022

It's birthday season, we're feeling ghoulish and we're here for some feral chaos! This month for our birthdays Eva went all out with a wild and irreverent theme: armchairs. We're just kidding but step aside, Geminis, Scorpios have the floor today and are cursing this birthday month. Also, should we put out some new meatball themed merch and call it "gabaghoul"? Lastly, please do send us all your armchair themed scary stories... and that's why we drink!

I know we just started birthday happy birthday happy happy birthday to you go and it's your birthday happy for you can stop me whenever because i'm going to say now m now m happy birthday christine happy birthday christine happy birthday happy birthday happy birthday to m schultz only oh oh okay i'll take it it's. Um, I am very sad, but I think y'all it's, I, we both don't be surprised. I can't process that. I'm having a birthday. I have, Oh my God. Here we go. You could say, here we go. All you want. You only get like, as soon as this comes out, you only get like two more days of going, Oh my God. So I'm excited for you to be done with that. And you're excited to be done with me you

causing a ruckus uh how are you besides being just wired on caffeine right now listen em and I recorded rituals earlier and I was telling Eva like he should have seen me I was really I like my I was under caffeinated my hair was soaking wet I had no makeup I was just like uh I was like stumbling over my words it was a disaster not a disaster but makeup. I was just like, uh, I was like stumbling over my words. It was a disaster. Not a disaster, but it was, I was kind of a mess. And then, um, we started this zoom like an hour later and I'm just, I'm, I'm ready to rumble.

I came in with a very aggressive attitude. I sneezed and I told him I was allergic to their bullshit for like no reason. I just felt like saying it. I didn't even do anything. Usually it's warranted, but that was just out of nowhere. But you know what? I'll let it slide because it's your birthday too and you're acting like a 31-year-old. Yeah, thank you.

Thank you. I'm very excited. It's birthday season. It's June. Happy Gemini season, everyone. We're sorry, but this is just your life right now. You have to deal with it. Eva turned the tables on us and selected some stories, texted us last night and said that she made an extremely chaotic choice. And I don't,

I'm really on board. I don't know what it is, but I'm really on board. And she called it a Christine move, a Christine choice. And I feel like that's a scary thing. Oh, I do love it. I also think that's a scary thing. Usually when anything is described as you, it usually means complete, utter, feral chaos. OK, say the thing you told me on the phone yesterday because i can't stop thinking about it i can't and there's something i want to tell you after you say it oh god okay well i i don't know if this is like becoming a thing like with the kids but it just

happens to be that my um tiktok algorithm has sent me a lot of videos recently where people are referring to themselves as ghouls when they're like acting chaotic. And I was like, oh, that is absolutely something they all probably learned from Christine at some point. Like, I can't think of another person to describe better as a ghoul than you. Okay, well, the other night before you told me this, I was laying in bed and i was thinking really deep thoughts and all of a sudden i thought to myself gaba ghoul what is wrong with you that's an italian ghoul and i said i need to remember to tell em that and then last night on the phone you told me this ghoul ghoulish story and i said oh boy i gotta bring that to the table um gaba ghoul

that's the only thought that's the table. Gabagool. That's the only thought. That's the beginning and the end of the thought is gabagool. Well, that's like, I would really hope if you're Italian and you are hosting a Halloween dinner, please have gabagool at your table, whatever that would mean. You got to credit it to me, though, because I invented it. Oh, Christine's famous Italian authentic gabagool at your table whatever whatever that would mean to me though because I invented it oh Christine's famous Italian authentic gabagool I'm very excited about it um if you can't tell and I'm feeling ghoulish I'm feeling excited we have to try and guess the theme that Eva has chosen so you all can guess along with us well

before we do that I want to give you a shout out to your little tie-dye shirt of ours oh yeah which you can go get on our merch site because we have new merch which is really not new merch by the time this comes out but whatever it's very fun and it's like this one's called the poltergeist tie-dye I mean we've really like we've really like come to we feel've really like fulfilled our mission in the merch space. Next season we'll put out a shirt with a bunch of meatballs on it and call it the Gabagool or something. The Gabagool! Also, I am going to fully embrace the birthday spirit and annoy everyone by holding off for a second.

I want to know what you're doing for your birthday, Christine. Oh, you know, I'm not 100% sure because we are traveling that week for our book stuff. And today, Blaze said he had to go pick up some bourbon for his collection. Ah, bullshit. I said, you can go do that. You have half an hour. And he was like, no. And I was like, no, go. Go do it.

I'll watch the baby. And he was like, I was trying to do birthday stuff and it's not enough time. And I was like, wow, May 19th. And he's already doing my birthday stuff. This is a record. So I don't know what he's doing, but he's doing something. Um, and so I think it'll probably just be a small thing, but I might try to have people over the following week. I don't know. I don't know him. I don't know. I like, I like, I like here. Like it might be a small thing as he's starting May 19th or probably in the middle of something. Sometimes he just gets anxious,

I think. And it's like, Oh, I should probably, uh, well also we're leaving town for a while. Oh, right.

And I think he doesn't really get the chance to run personal errands when he's the solo caretaker of the baby. So we got to squeeze them in. Um, what about you? I mean, I don't know. I'm not, I'm just, I'm just vibing, I guess. Also like, no offense, but 31 doesn't have the same oomph as like a 30th birthday. No, but also 30th was during pandemic and I was hella pregnant. So like, Oh, okay. Redo, redo. Yeah. I feel like I get a little re like, I'm not going to steal your thunder by any means,

but I think you couldn't, if you wanted to. I know. And I've tried and I've tried and I've tried and it just won't happen. But, um, for my birthday, I don't know, but Alison's also panicking. I wonder if her and Blaze are in like therapy together at some point. They have a Slack channel together. I'm sure of it. Probably.

channel together. I'm sure of it. Probably. I know Allison is, uh, uh, panic stricken about my birthday and it is 100% my fault because she and everyone is aware of me making birthdays, like big events, especially if it's a milestone birthday. So I did tell her, I was like, Hey, 31, you do not have to care as much. So 30, this is the last time you're going to have to really worry for a little bit. Pressure is on. I don't think the pressure is on anymore. I think it was in the beginning. But Allison has this, whenever she says the phrase, I think you're going to like it. I know it sounds so stupid.

But whenever she says that, I'm confident she's nailed it. And there have been times where she has not said that sentence. And I'm not saying she didn't nail it. but I am saying I almost died a few times. So there, but in the times where she has said, I think you're going to like it. I know she's confident in it and I don't have to worry anymore. And so I, I don't have to worry. But did she say that? Yeah, she said it this year.

Oh, okay. Okay. Okay. I didn't know if we were still waiting for that phrase. Um, she said it last year too. And she nailed last year, but there have been other times where I mean she's so sweet and tries to surprise me and she knows surprises are big to me but then like it's just like planning is not her strong suit and so every now and then it backfires horribly and those have been the times where she

didn't say the sentence so I feel like either she says the sentence in advance and manifests a good outcome or she actually is confident in what's happened and she says it to like lock it in. Or maybe it's on you. Like maybe she says a phrase and you're like, oh hell yeah, I'm into it. Whatever it is. And it's just, you go in with a positive winning attitude. No, never have. Certainly not that. That couldn't be you. No, no. But I, I, anytime she, cause she also says it in a way that she can't you can't fake it like she you could tell when she says it that whether or not she means it and whenever she said it she has always nailed it out like knocked it out of the park and she did that this time so I'm excited for wherever it is I know there's a party um which she she told people I think

originally she wanted it to be a surprise party but then she didn't tell anybody that it's no longer a surprise and I'm aware of it so I've tried to talk to my friends and I'm like oh are you coming to the party and they're like what are you talking about what party so um she's having a party for me and then well I guess I'll take this moment to say I was really trying to make it to the party it's not I had not, I had a hunch because of Boston and all that. So I'm also, your birthday is so close to mine. I just expected it to be a no, but I had a hunch you might be trying to shove yourself in a box again. I was, I was, I really was, but, um, but alas, uh, we'll celebrate in Boston, I guess. Well, if this is easier for you, I'm also having,

um, another party in Virginia with my Fredericksburg friends because my mom wanted to throw me a party. Oh, man. So you have two tries. Well, my family's all out of town, so I'm cool. Glad you're having a good time. I'll be having a blast. But if you would like to see me on the East Coast, I will be at my mom's house if you want to make a surprise appearance there. I'll put myself in another box.

I'll figure it out. Thank you. Well, hey, if you show up in a box, maybe a cake, I'll put myself in another box. I'll figure it out. Thank you. Well, I, Hey, if you show up on a box, I'll be maybe a cake, like a little,

like a little stripper at this time. That'd be fine. Hello. Fully or not fully clothed, whatever you want a body. I'm body positive. So, um, yeah,

a cake. It should be a cake. Definitely. It must be a cake. That's the only really rule. Yeah. Yeah. Well,

anyway, now that we've all thought about christine jumping out of a stripper cake for me it's about time to move on to our stories i suppose i guess so i i think you go first right usually sure yes i think so it's uh and you did say that we're having to guess the chaotic theme or is the theme just chaos well no well no eva said um she made an extremely chaotic choice regarding the theme and I don't know what it is unless she told you but I don't think she told us I think Eva likes the power of not telling us sometimes she said maybe it's too subtle and I was like we'll figure

it out even if we don't figure something out we'll confidently have an answer by the end whether or not it's right well we have stuck to our guns with like cheese is the theme and she's like what is cheese within one story and I'm like yeah but it seems like it fit but but it felt right with the it was in the air right yeah well okay I'm gonna start this story and before I do let me just say if this is your first episode your first listeners episode with us we put this out on the first of every month and you can submit your own personal true crime and paranormal stories to us on our website. And we, well, Eva picks obviously a theme, and then we read a sampling, a smattering, if you will. A smattering, and they're not always this self-absorbed, where we talk 11 minutes about ourselves at the beginning, occasionally, but usually not. This is

a special episode. Honestly, because, well, June is always a chaotic month for us in general. I'm shocked we made it under 15 minutes of talking about ourselves, especially me talking about me. I am shocked. And we're actually still barreling toward 15 minutes. So I guess we should probably put an end to it before we jinx it and suddenly are at 16. I feel like you're stifling my 30-year-old crisis, but I understand. Okay. This is from Corinne

who uses she, her pronouns. Thank you for normalizing pronouns, Corinne. And Corinne's subject is armature ghost hunting led to a grumpy old ghost. Armature? Armature.

Are you sure it's not amateur? If it is, it's spelled wrong. Oh. It must be amateur, I think. I assume. I'd like to think armature is like arm-specific furniture. Yeah. Oh, I thought it was like armchair slash amateur.

Okay, if the theme is fucking armchairs. Wait, what if the theme is spelling errors? Because I will figure that out in.5 seconds. I'm on it right now. Okay, well, we'll find out really quick if this is, like, set in a furniture store. Okay. Hey, Eva, Em, Christine, and all fur babies, and Leona. Aw.

I'm Corin, an avid listener, as I, sorry, as I gave up armchairs. If that's the theme, I'm going to scream. If we figured out the first word, word, which, by the way, isn't a word. Okay. Just a heads up. Corinne, sorry. I know I'm literally putting you on blast so hard right now, but I just feel like this is really a good segue. Corinne has simply passed away.

Corinne is not screaming, crying, throwing up. Corinne will never recover. Sorry, Korn. Sorry. I think I just have the giggles. I think I need a second because it's not going to stop. Oh my God. Oh my God. Eva had to know this would happen. Shit. We lost him. Oh no. It's unnecessarily funny i'm crying for no reason i just feel like that would be a really chaotic choice of evas it would be if that is what it is i'm going to scream actually it's gonna be like something like not armchairs not even a little bit oh shit okay let's try again hey eva m christine and all

fur babies and leona i'm corin an avid listener as i work in a kitchen at a senior home so your banter and stories keep me entertained oh i'm a scorpio okay well goodbye corin that was this has been a great story it's time to go that's That's been fun. Wrap it up. I'm a Scorpio. Sorry, M. Is that what Eva did? Did she pick all Scorpios for our Gemini episode? I almost guarantee. Eva, I wish she picked fucking armchairs.

I think that's the theme. That's my new guess. Okay. I'm sticking with armature. I think armature is a better guess. I'm a Scorpio, so I listen to... Armature is not anything. Armature.

Okay. Arm-based furniture. I need to get it together because it's not even funny. No one else is laughing. It's only me. I know other people are not interested. I don't, it's, I can't be stopped. I'm a Scorpio.

So I listen to episodes in no true order. So I'm on an episode, whatever I decide, but nonetheless, I absolutely love the both of you and the podcast. I've got plenty of haunted stories I could tell, but let's start with the time my brother and I upset a grumpy old ghost in our house. I've always been into spooky things and always been a little sensitive to ghosties haunting around so it only made sense after hours of watching bagel bites and other various ghost shows and tons of unsolved mysteries that my brother and I start ghost hunting in our house my brother had

gotten a ghost hunting kit for Chris for Christmas for Christian I that's what I thought it was ghost hunting kit for Chris for Christmas. I shared, I, that's what I thought it was. I was like, and you used it. Okay. Um, my brother had gotten a ghost hunting kit for Christmas, which was a shared gift and it had an EMF reader and some other things that I can't quite remember, but we headed down to our finished basement and asked some questions, got some spikes, got spooked and decided we would use these lasers that had come in a spy kit to set up and see if anything would trigger them. We tested them out like good little ghost hunters using ourselves and other various objects to make sure they worked. And once they were in place, we grabbed the part that would tell us what sensor

was going off, turn the lights off and bolted upstairs for some dinner. While enjoying whatever my mom had fixed, our little device went off a few times, and it was different lasers. Now, we had no pets, and all the family was upstairs. So explain why these lasers were going off. We were losing it. We had to finish eating so we could go back and ask whoever this was some questions in the dark, and we got more spikes and no true answers, but alas, it was time to take our hyped up selves to bed. As me and my brother were in my bathroom going over the plans for the next day and writing all of our evidence down in our journal,

which I imagine is what you and Zandy used to do together on your little adventures. He didn't participate. I just did it myself. You just followed him around with a notebook and said, so this happened today. Yeah, yeah,

yeah, precisely. Nobody listened to me. It's fine. As me and my brother were in my bathroom going over the plans for the day and writing all of our evidence down in our journal, my mirrored medicine cabinet was open. And now here's where it gets wild. We were upstairs still talking about the ghost that had set our alarms off and how we knew it was an old man. Don't ask how just intuition. And that if he was there, we wanted more proof. Well, after that,

my said asthma medicine, which had not taken, which I had not taken yet flew out of my medicine cabinet and flew right between my brother and I and landed in my bedroom. Oh, that's a far jump. Okay. So to recap, they all of a sudden have this like gut feeling an old man is there and then their medicine just goes flying. Yes. The medicine. Yeah, of course, of all of them. We looked at each other shocked and said, did you see what I just saw? We both said yes. And after much determination to recreate and

debunk how this bottle flew out of my cabinet, we were stumped. We shook the cabinet, banged on all the walls. Okay, classic bagel bites move. And we even asked him nicely to do it again. After banging on the walls, we asked him nicely. That's like plan B. And nothing happened. The bottle wouldn't budge. Off to bed, we went,

except we decided to camp out in the living room and watch some daddy bagel bites oh yeah i don't like that the combination of the names is out of control if that's a theme eva i'm going to quit the show corin said i have a serious crush on this demon provoking everything bagels you would corin uh so around 3 a.m or so we were jamming out to some 2000s music uh and trying to see how many doritos we can fit into our mouth or something of the sorts. And my brother glances in our kitchen but doesn't say anything. So me being nosy, I glanced into the kitchen and what I saw was a man in a plaid shirt.

No. Overalls and a white beard. And he was there but also a little too see-through to be an intruder. Ugh. I didn't say anything for a while, but my brother finally says, I saw a man in the kitchen. Ugh. I said, me too.

Describe him so I know if we saw the same thing. Sure enough, he describes a man with a plaid shirt and overalls with a white beard. After slowly letting out a breath, I said, yep, we saw the same thing. And now this grumpy old man who we can only assume was the ghost that was irritated that we had been hunting him earlier and softly provoking him for hours had thrown the pill bottle at us to tell us to go to bed and then after seeing us still up making a ruckus showed himself to us uh and yeah now i'm going to bed i was gonna say at this point I would be like never sleeping

again, but yeah, no thanks. Especially cause you have the thought of like, is it a ghost or is it an intruder? Which one am I more scared of? I was gonna say, which one's worse? I mean, I guess an intruder definitely, but it's still like probably just as scary to see a random man or not being able to like differentiate. And it's like, how scared am I supposed to be? We did go to bed after about another hour of calming ourselves down. It's like, how scared am I supposed to be? We did go to bed after about another hour of calming ourselves down. And after that, we were always careful to not ghost hunt too late as to disturb him. Anyway, that's it. I've got plenty other ghosties to talk about, but that's it for another or that's for another day. Live, laugh, lemon and team vegan milkshake xoxo a scorpio wow what corin you really fulfilled the scorpio chaos

you know like i feel like that was definitely what we expected from you for my scorpio i also i it feels um i feel like that's almost a comparative compared to some other stories we've gotten. I feel like that's a safe ghost story to have of like, Oh, we just saw him one time and then never again. And that was it. And he just wanted us to go to bed and avenge his murder or something.

Yeah. He was just a babysitter for the night. That's fine. Um, I hope that's as far as it went. I would hate to get an update and find out that that man just kept showing up. Yeah.

I feel like, um, if you did what he said or what he wanted you to do and just kind of left him alone i'm hoping that was the end of that relationship me too oh well thank you corin now i have a story from renny she her thank you renny and the subject is family demon story i'm'm just going to crack into this bad boy. No introductions needed. Oh, okay. This story is passed down from my grandma, whose side of the family comes from no-nonsense Kansas Midwest cowboys.

When my great-great-grandma was in her 20s, she lived in a home that had a lot of funky paranormal activity. It started off small. There would be the smell of cigar smoke, even though no one in the house ever smoked. The rocking chair in the corner of the parlor would frequently rock on its own. Ew. That's such a specific sound. Yeah, I hate that. Now, the sound could have been excused if they weren't alone in the house. The poor friend immediately screamed and ran out of the house and apparently refused to visit again.

Parentheses, fake friend. No, I wouldn't say that, Rennie, because I think Em would never come over to my house again. 100%. I feel like it's been a fun run. It's nice. I guess maybe we'd just end our friendship there. We've had a nice run.

Certainly inside that building, we would have no physical friendship would ever happen again. And I wouldn't blame you, honestly. If it was just a sound, I guess, just like how you said the the perk of having a baby and three animals and a husband who's probably an old house in an old house uh it's easy to probably hear a sound like that and just hope geo knocked over a bucket of marbles you know how he is with his marbles and then the real fear is did he eat any of them because he loves rocks or the baby you know yeah then you get into more real life problems i guess so ghost marvels are probably safer but but no if you're if you're alone in a house and you hear that sound it could

even just be an intruder and i still wouldn't come back i'd be like an intruder with his many marbles that he carries around in his pocket you don't know what he's up to could have been could have been the tooth fairy with an extra large sack that day you know she just spilled teeth all over your hallway rolling around i don't know i don't know what i'm thinking about it's time for you to talk again so i stop one time in one of the rooms she heard the sharp crack of a whip with no explanation behind it my that would be where i absolutely don't come back the tooth fairy is fucking on it today yeah the tooth fairy is having quite an evening that's a a bell snickle or a pranthus situation yeah it is all of these incidents heightened up

to one singular event one night she woke up in the middle of her sleep to something choking her oh my god absolutely not uh parentheses whack yeah in, she could physically feel the hands around her neck, but the room was empty. And then she says, okay, inserting my opinion here, but I don't know what would be worse seeing what's choking you or not seeing it. Very good point. That is a very good point. That's, I don't know which I would pick because also if it stopped, if you can't see it and it stopped choking you, you still have to live in fear that it could choke you all over again. You wouldn't see it coming. True. But if you do see it, then, you know, you still have to live in fear that it could choke you all over again. You wouldn't see it coming. True.

But if you do see it, then you know it's like a real person trying to murder you. Okay. That's also true. But I don't know. I mean, both of them are not good. Her immediate thought as a God-fearing woman was to pray. And as soon as she finished praying, the hands let go. After this incident, everything paranormal stopped happening.

My family has always called this a demon because the general belief is that ghosts don't exist, but demons do. I don't know. Religious stuff. Anyway, yeah, I've heard that too, that theory in like some branches of Christianity that paranormal stuff is all bad. Like there's no like good part of paranormal. Yeah, that's what I've heard too. I've heard that. part of paranormal yeah that's what i've heard that anyway sorry not sorry about this story being long but another time i might submit my personal story about seeing a shadow man

leaning over my mf bed as a child love love love listening to y'all especially when doing engineering homework also i fucking knew it and also save this for last but i'm a scorpio ha ha ha ha ha i was supposed to be born on ha Halloween, but I decided to curse this world a little bit early. The end. There's no ending. There's no goodbye. Much like she came, she went with nothing but a curse upon us.

And as mysteriously as she arrived, she disappeared. Eva, I fucking knew it. And just to confirm, the next one is Ashley, who uses she, her pronouns and decided to insert that she's a Scorpio. In the pronouns? Yep. It's the most fucking Scorpio thing I've ever seen in my life.

Yes, it is. Ashley, she, her, Scorpio. No one asked, Ashley. Eva is cackling. I can feel it in my bones. She's cursing this beautiful month that we have. Our sacred, sacred month. That was a chaotic call.

You really did a real 180 to the birthday month situation. And I honestly, next time, Eva, for this, I demand an armchair theme next month. That's right. We're going to one up you here. Good luck. No, but also if you find an arm, if anyone has an armchair story,

I swear to God, I would lose my mind to read about it. Can you imagine? I'm just saying. All right. Ashley, the Scorpio, uh,

we're in it now. Their subject line is the time, a scary, invisible man yelled in my ear and I almost peed in my pants. Oh God. You know, the only way that title could have been better. Um,

as if she did pee her pants in an armchair. Oh, no. Yes. Also, uh, Oh, I got something in my eye.

That's the Scorpio curse. I think they're after me. Yeah. They've been after you. So this says, hello, Leona, Lemon, Eva, Gio, M, Christine. You're at the end. And all other members of the That's Why We Drink family. I'm an avid listener, and you all have kept my company and entertained me on numerous

mornings getting ready with car drives and lunch breaks and slow days at the office. I started with episode one and listened to each one in order. Now. Okay. Okay. Scorpio. I see what's up. Okay.

I'm finally caught up and I really appreciate you guys sharing so much of your lives with your listeners. I feel like I know both of you personally now, and it has the, it has been awesome hearing all your stories as well as your friendship and love for one another grow. It has actually devolved since. Yeah. Um um doesn't like me much anymore honestly like is even a strong word yeah um where are we i got overwhelmed with how much i loathe you

i feel like i know your friendship and oh and and the love for. OK, yeah. Quickly, get over it. Get over it. Let's crack into it. I'm Native American and Hispanic, and I have relatives on both sides of my family who are or were medicine women, healers and psychics. Cool. I have had many paranormal experiences throughout my life, and I will tell you about one of those now.

My mother lives in a farmhouse that was built by her grandparents on quote Indian land in Cherokee County, Oklahoma. This is a land that was allotted to them by the government after the removal of my ancestors, the Cherokee people known as the Trail of Tears. Yep. Yep. Many of my family members have had strange experiences on this property throughout the decades. One weekend I was there visiting my family and my little sister was telling me about how she had recently felt something was messing with her. She would frequently hear noises coming from her closet where there was nothing in it that could possibly be making these sounds. So I went to her room and asked whoever or whatever was there to leave. And I said it was in her space and

not welcome there we went about the day with nothing else happening and this is until 3 a.m when i was sound asleep in another bedroom i was jarred awake by a man leaning over the bed and yelling into my right ear loudly and angrily no oh oh ew goose cam oh and so hang on so she went into the room and asked whoever it was to leave and then later she hears someone scream no into her like that it took him like four hours to manifest the word no maybe he was like look 3 a.m is the spookiest hour i'll be able to say something then but right now i'm it'll be punchier at that point, you know? Punchier, exactly. I shot up in bed and grabbed my phone.

I turned on the flashlight. I thought it was going to say my gun, and I was like, oh, man. My phone, yeah. I don't know why I thought... Ashley! I thought, like, oh, I jumped out of bed, there was an intruder, I grabbed my gun. I don't know why I grabbed my phone surprised me, but I would have done exactly the same thing, so... Well, she grabbed her phone and she turned on the flashlight and shined it around the room there was there was no one there i had

literally felt his breath on my neck oh and the anger in the room was palpable i was so afraid all i could do was lie there shaking and it took what seemed like an eternity for me to eventually fall back to sleep needless to to say, I tossed and turned for the next few hours until I finally decided to get up for the day. I was so confused. I felt like whoever this was absolutely hated me and wanted me gone. At breakfast, I shared what had happened with my family and it wasn't until my little sister suggested it that I realized this was probably the same thing I asked to leave the day before. Now it made sense and I asked it to leave and it had said no. Oh, gross.

Oh, my God. It's really gross. I'm sorry, Ashley. This is scary. And I feel like part of it. That's a rough one. Part of it, I sometimes imagine what a situation like this would be like. um a situation like this would be like um and i just i feel like part of the horrible terror of it is that you'd be laying in bed terrified knowing that's

exactly what it wanted yeah do you know what i mean like you can't like it's probably like pleased that it scared the shit out of you and like you just have to lay there like i don't know it just sounds well actually i did say earlier the the subject line was, uh, Ashley, almost Peter pants. Oh yeah, for sure. I would have, Oh my God. I would have, I would have, there's there's cause that's a full, a full fight or flight situation. I would have frozen. Yep. He'd my pants. Not almost definitely. Uh, and I would have never, I wouldn't have even known who to go to or who to talk to, or I would have lost at least a week of sleep. I'd have to sleep somewhere else. I don't know what I would do.

I don't know. Oi, Ashley. I hope that, uh, the fella doesn't come knocking around again. Is that the end? Yeah,

it's the end. Oh, okay. Um, thank you, Ashley. She, her Scorpio.

Yeah. That part. I also love that these Scorpios aren't saying goodbye. They're just like gone. They love the Irish exit. They're just like, fucking peace. You'll figure it out. Good job. When I've got nothing left to say.

You'll figure it out when I'm gone and you're wondering what happens next. Also, I just opened our group chat because I saw Eva had texted us. She said I... next um also i just opened our group chat because i saw eva had texted us um she said uh i she said oh i'm omg i literally just wrote hot ghoul summer on our merch oh wait am i supposed to be saying this i don't know well you just did so well i just did so too late uh like i don't think i'm revealing any like industry secrets but um i love that hot cool summer that's me in my hoodie like a deranged

ghoul i so far i like to think uh renny and corin and ashley have all also earned the title of hot cool summer just they are they take the yeah they take first place i'm just the runner up um and shouting gabagool as i try to keep up if any of them are italian they're the true okay so this is from hayley she her comma team wine see she's trying to get get me before she sticks the knife in and says i'm a scorpio just kidding i don't have a problem with scorpios really i think i kind of match the energy in some ways. Um, M's not so, so keen, but that's okay. I can be swayed sometimes, but it's very rare. It's mostly geo-shaped Scorpios can win M over. If you have a butt curtain, you're in. Well, there you go. That's something to look

out for. Something to work toward. Personal story submission, urgent wanton wanton news. Oh, my God. Okay. Urgent wanton wanton news. This is Em's nightmare. I'm so mad Eva didn't make you read this. But okay. I'm so – Eva knew if I had to read it. I would have had to try like ten times in a row. Yeah, we'd never leave.

That's a good point. So urgent wanton wanton news and baptized by a murder suspect. Okay. Oh, wow. Talk about a whole lot of information. Hi there, I'm Christine Eva, sweet baby G, Lemon and Kremit. Oh. Kremit doesn't get enough love on this show.

The unsung hero. The person behind the scenes pulling all the strings, Kremit. The puppet master, Kremit. No, it's so cursed. This is the most cursed birthday episode of all time. I'm a longtime listener and Scorpio, but I also used to be a baker at Cheesecake Factory in Thousand Oaks. Okay. Okay.

You're fine. All right. So if you have a butt curtain or you bake cheesecake at the Cheesecake Factory, you're in the inner circle. That's about it. Yeah. And she says, so I feel like that's a net positive. 100%.

You know what you're doing here, Haley. Apologies for the length. I have two points to share. I hope this gets to you in time for your Brooklyn live show. LOL.

Because I have discovered something incredible. Wait, this might have been the same person. We heard from her in person. You told us, okay, so at the Brooklyn show, someone passed out, and I hope they're fine now. But it gave us an opportunity while we were waiting for them to feel better and all that.

We did a Q&A. We stopped our show and did a Q&A. Yeah. And this has to be the same person. Otherwise, there's two people that were at the Brooklyn show who really wanted to tell me about this. No, it's definitely because I'm pretty sure I saw the DM or an email somewhere too. I'm pretty sure this is definitely the same. And she said, I remember she raised her hand and said, what are you doing for dinner?

And we were like, totally like, uh, I don't know. I think I said, I was like, usually we get out at like midnight and then I eat Postmates and then we wake up for the airport or something. Yeah. And I felt bad because I feel like I was like, uh, I don't know. I was like totally taken aback. But that wasn't even the point. It wasn't like she was like, which, by the way, now I'm a little mad because if I knew she worked at Cheesecake Factory or used to, I'd be like, well, I'm coming to your house for cheesecake. But anyway, so I live very close to the show venue and my go to Chinese food spot in the area is called

Mr. Wanton. The website spells wanton correctly. However, when you send the link via iMessage, the thumbnail says wanton. Uh-huh. Yep. See? She says it has to be a sign. Please order some wanton wantons while you're in town if you're able.

The vegetables wanton hot sesame sauce is divine. Now I'm very hungry. And that 100 is the same person because their response or their response oh she they she they oh no she her damn okay i was like i don't know what you're reading wanton wanton i'm confused here i just felt so aligned with this person i was like obviously must be that maybe um no but she said um because i said oh we get postmates and she was like that's great that's that's awesome because then you can get this delivered to you oh and we didn't well i didn't

order anything i went to bed but no we i ended up going out afterwards with my cousin oh yeah you're out a bunch of uh listeners who follow me on instagram are very thirsty for my baby cousin. Um, back off. It scares me. Y'all were hungry. Not about that. Not about that matchmaking situation. Um, also he is in a committed relationship,

so sorry. That too. That too. But also seeing people thirsty over my cousin, I was like, yuck. Oh, uh,

my cousin lived with us in high school and he came to my school and everybody had a crush on him. And it was just my nightmare oh uh my cousin lived with us in high school and he came to my school and everybody had a crush on him and it was just my nightmare like my nightmare I gotta say he like my cousin is a little cutie pie he's very sweet he's got like the loveliest little eyes he also I'm sure this works for people he's got like a chiseled jaw he's like very weirdly like you know picture perfect but uh I still think of him as like my little baby cousin. So to see so many people DMing me about hooking him up, I was like, okay, got to go. It's not the vibe. It's not the vibe ends here for, um, I do wish I had gotten to the,

gotten the wanton wantons, but, um, I had the baby at the hotel and I just went home. I think I went to sleep. Um, I'm so glad we're good good we're going to talk about this on the show though like this is well done Eva well done of all people like Haley was persistent like not in like an overly persistent way but like I'm pretty sure like somehow managed to get this information to us without interrupting without like getting you know across like literally there just happened to be a q a and she was like this is my fucking moment i need to tell you this piece of information i'm just so impressed i like how all the things she could have said to us she was like this is it you've got to get these she's chosen her yeah this is like the the thing to the torch she wants to carry on okay sorry secondly i

was shocked when you covered the josh guillem story. I think that's how you say his name in episode 188 because my dad went to the college where it took place. St. John's is a tiny school no one has ever really heard of. So I excitedly called him to gush over the fact that it had earned mention in my favorite podcast. I wanted to get the details right. So referred to the website Christine used. I remember this behind the pine curtain.com and in doing so notice that i recognize the name of one of the suspects oh my god do you remember this story at all um no okay so it was a kid who was in college and um was like by all accounts you know active and bright and whatever and like fucking vanished and uh people have created this behind the pine curtain and there's been quite a bit of um controversy with the catholic church that works on campus oh and the i believe the priest one of them there were several instances of like molestation and one of the theories is like that josh was writing a story about this um oh yeah i don't remember this at all oh you don't yeah it was um it was it's a wild

story it's uh it it's it's a lot but anyway so she says i recognized the name of one of the suspects father dan ward was among the accused for j Josh's disappearance and also apparently has had six credible sexual misconduct allegations made against him. Shit. He also happens to be the priest who married my parents, my aunt and uncle and baptized me and all my cousins. Oh, my God. Oh, even if he's not the suspect, he's still not good news. Right?

He baptized my cousin's new baby girl just this last winter. And my dad has kept in contact with him regularly. Not sure he will anymore though. Well, I certainly hope not. Yeah. My dad also confirmed that some of the priests at the Abbey there were a little creepy toward the college students.

He said he even saw one of them who's since been ousted from St. John's walking around the dorms at 2 a.m. one night oh anywho this is the most scandalized my grandma has been in a long time maybe one day I'll compile a list of all the synchronicities I've experienced while listening to you two it's bonkers thanks for being awesome can't wait to see you live love Haley wow that went from like try these wantons to like hey by the way i was baptized by a six-time predator yeah guess who i know oh my gosh okay well thank you both times for your wanton suggestion i will at the very least text my apparently weirdly hot cousin and tell him to go eat the wontons for me i hope everyone's happy

with that solution we'll take it um also by the way if you do come to the virginia party christine he's coming so oh fun well you're acting like i'm somehow suddenly on this bandwagon i'm i've never been creepy about your cousin no no i'm just saying oh fun fact he's gonna be the party i was like em i'm not i didn't have I've done no such thing regarding your cousin. I'm a married woman, a mother, and a Christian at that. No, I don't know. That's me. That's what I always say. This is me just reminding you again, like, oh, if you can come to the party.

The party. Okay. I'll text you about it later. Oh, the party. Okay, I'll text you about it later. The next story is from May, who is she they? There we go. Thank you for normally. You felt it coming in your bones. Well, I also can feel something coming that May might be a Scorpio.

Oh. And the subject line is a late cousin and a girl that loves soup. All right, Christine, which one are you? Well, hopefully not the late cousin. A girl that loves soup. Here's the thing. I don't like soup. So I'm really, I'm really kerfuffled over here. I love a good soup.

Um, okay. Hello. It sounds like the name of one of our episodes, a late cousin and a girl that loves soup. Doesn't that sound like one of our episodes a late cousin and a girl that loves soup doesn't that sound like one of our one thousand percent one thousand percent hello m christine little baby geo and everyone else reading slash listening i'm sure that you guys get plenty of stories every day but i needed to share mine i just started listening to the podcast about a month ago and i'm already on episode 92 nice and am loving every minute first i'm team milkshake for a couple of reasons but the biggest is that i'm not old enough to drink wine oh well i hope you're enjoying your milkshakes

because they're gonna those are gonna be tasty no matter what age you're at that's true they're still good even when you're in your 30s i had a milkshake last night and it was divine so i would love a milkshake i also think i might love canada and geo as much as m if not if not then just a bit less oh i got like teary-eyed about that geo love for some reason i feel like um the other unsung hero yes where is he he's a little baby he's just deep in oh he's so sweet he's my little bugaboo little baby last time i saw him he was he had a he had a little white whisker yeah he sometimes gets little gray hairs oh he's a little oldie wait how old is he now six he's six yeah what a cutie pie okay uh i also think i love canada geo as much

as that i also dislike most scorpios except for a select few. Myself included. Is that what it says next? I'm just guessing. I was afraid it was going to say that too. Um, uh, I also just like Scorpio move to be like, but I'm not like other Scorpio. Every Scorpio sucks except me. The one on the pedestal in the spotlight. Um, most be, uh, Oh be oh i dislike most scorpios except for select few most being cats and dogs i freaked out how much i had in common with m maybe that's another reason why i love the podcast so much and fellow at least half baby yep that's true you know uh i have a couple of true crime stories that have happened in my family and around where I live,

but those are stories for another day. My friend Jack and I are very sensitive to paranormal activity and both have ghosts that follow us around. I'm not sure what my ghost is called, but seeing as they have contacted me several times and made a lot of commotion whenever someone in my family mentioned my late cousin Colby, we assume that it's them. I love Colby being like, I'm going to make a commotion whenever anyone says my name. Also Colby, badass name because it's C-O-L-B-I-E. You know, you know Colby was a goddamn blast.

What a fun name. I like it. Still is apparently in the afterlife. If Colby is just showing up whenever family's here. Just make him a commotion. You're like, you who? I'm still here it's me the uh the more recent experience with colby was just the other week i was sick so i took out my charged crystals lit a couple candles and turned on your podcast everything is still fuzzy from that day but i think it was a listener's episode you start talking about someone being visited by a dead relative. When I noticed that a candle was flickering like crazy, I checked for any reason that it could be flickering and found

that there wasn't any. So I did the most reasonable thing and told it to stop flickering. If someone was there with me, it looked like a fake light with how still it suddenly stood for the next few minutes. I asked questions like if they were trapped here, and got intelligible answers every time. Right before the candle burnt out, I said goodbye and told them to say something about who they were in my blessed tarot cards to be sure I wasn't talking to a demon or something. Ooh. Good call. Good call. I gave it a second of shuffling before I picked out the Ace of Cups, the Hanged Man, and the Page of Wands.

The Ace of Cups represents family. of shuffling before i picked out the ace of cups the hanged man and the page of wands the ace of cups represents family the page of wands represents youth and colby sadly was miscarried because they suffocated from the umbilical cord stop damn he's also been around me and even as i writing this, I can feel someone tugging on my sleeve, even though I'm entirely alone. I've even had an imaginary friend when I was little of a little boy named Dean, only to find out recently that Dean is Colby's middle name.

No, that's bad-ass. I told you Colby was a blast. Wow. Maybe just from the other side, I guess Colby didn't get to be over here with us, but on the other side, like,

you know colby is a whirlwind of fun that's awesome that's so awesome that you still get to have a relationship with your cousin that is really sweet and i love that like he picked the tugging yeah and the tugging on the shirt oh that's so sweet it's getting my heart. I love good, good ghost stories. I know. Well, since you said Colby acts up whenever he's mentioned. Yeah. Let Colby know we say hello because sounds like he's a blast in the glass. A riot, yeah. Sounds like a good time.

And I'm sorry for your family's loss too. That's very tragic. Yes. As for my friend, we call her call her ghost soup girl okay sharp left turn whoa the first time she was contacted was not with my friend specifically but with her parents right after they found out she was going to be born and she's adopted that night my mom woke up very suddenly causing her dad to wake up as well they both heard that my mom woke up with her dad that night her mom woke up very suddenly okay you said my mom and i was like

our is our mom sleeping oh sorry let me just repeat that wait who is this i'm so confused so as for so that was may's story but may also has a friend jack who has a story about ghosts got it and apparently jack's ghost is called ghost soup girl and so soup girl ghost soup girl oh boy okay this is okay so the which is part of the so the title was um a late cousin and a girl that loves soup right which by the way now in hindsight i'm realizing a late cousin meant a cousin who has passed not like what did you think it meant like late to things oh no that's why I was like, well, I'm certainly hoping I'm not the late. Oh, I was like, I'm late to everything. Why is that such a big deal? Okay. I was like,

nope. Okay. Hey, I'm glad we figured that out while we're at it. No. Okay. Sorry. Uh, okay. As for Jack, whose ghost is called go soup girl the first time that she contacted uh jack's family was through jack's parents right after they found out that um jack was going to be born so the night that jack's mom woke up very suddenly it caused her dad to wake up as well and they both heard the voice of a young girl say i need soup and it sounded like it was coming which like you said that was such a straight face honestly i've woken up also thinking i need soup so you have and i'm like shut up go back to sleep it sounded like it was coming from the attic and so they went to check and they didn't find anything years later when jack was about five her parents would hear her talking in her room and they didn't find anything. Years later, when Jack was about five, her parents would

hear her talking in her room and they assumed she was playing with her dolls or something. But when they went to check on her, they would find Jack staring at the corner of her room, talking to what seemed like no one. And when they asked her who she was talking to, she pointed to where she was staring and said, the pretty girl in the corner. She likes chicken noodle soup, just like me. on forget it come on yikes and when they asked what the girl's name was she said that she didn't know and the girl wouldn't tell her so to this day she has still she still has contact with soup girl wait really jack and soup girl are still friends that's adorable and i hope they go on many soup dates together shut the fuck up the ghost leaves jack small gifts in

the morning usually red skittles or m&ms and she likes and she likes to sit in her hammock at night and watch over her okay first of all where is homie getting red Skittles or M&Ms? Like from beyond? I don't want to eat those. Some magic Skittles. I want to eat all of them. Or is she going through your pantry and finding only the red ones and sneaking them upstairs to Jack? Are they like magic Skittles or are they just pantry Skittles? And also, why doesn't she bring Jack soup?

Like that's what they bond over. Maybe that's too hard to carry. Does she know she's called Soup Girl? Like does Jack ever go, Soup Girl? Soup Girl. Cut it out cut it out super what are you doing stealing my m&ms when you eat soup do you invite soup girl to eat with you like what happens there will she feel left out if you don't um also like if her name she wouldn't give you her name that just freaks me out for some reason yeah i don't love it i'm like why why it seems like after so many years though if if soup girl was going to do something wrong or bad it it would have happened maybe those red skittles or m&ms

i don't know are full of soup or something i don't know what something chaotic um some kids in my school wanted to talk to wow there's just so many twists and turns of the story some kids in my school wanted to talk to a demon with a ouija board and didn't say goodbye. So I guess that's another reason I drink. Just like just through that story. Anyway, thank you guys for making a fantastic podcast that I can't put down. Where I am right now, Christina is about to get married. But from what I can tell from the ads, congratulations on your baby. Oh, that's so nice. I can't wait to get fully caught up on the podcast. I feel like,

I feel like may accidentally saw a spoiler from season seven and she's currently on season four and she's like, um, what? There's a baby. Hang on a second. Thanks for told me. Thanks for making my days brighter with dark topics.

And sorry for this essay of a story from May, a Scorpio, and Jack, an Aquarius. So May is a Scorpio. May is a Scorpio. Who doesn't like Scorpio? But that's like the most Scorpio thing I ever heard. I feel like every single letter so far has had a Scorpio doing something quintessentially Scorpian. Like doing something so exactlyentially Scorpio. Like doing something. So exactly what we would expect.

Yeah. It's sort of like every Megan we meet who's like, but I'm not like the other Megans. And I'm like, but I feel like we've just gotten like six, six different versions of Megans telling me that they're not like every other. Exactly. Exactly.

Megans and Scorpios are the same thing. Just like how science and green are the same thing. Megans and Scorpios are the same thing. Just like how science and green are the same thing. Megans and Scorpios are the same thing. And I will die on that hill. Probably from a Scorpio named Megan. We all know the cause of death. Yes. Okay.

So I have the last story here. This is from Lynn. She, they as well. Thank you, Lynn. And the subject is tarot talk and reasonable resources so we got a little alliteration going love it um and this is what it says hiya hopefully you're all doing well firstly happy early birthdays it's may as i'm writing this oh wow now that is the kind of attention we are seeking. A little bit about myself.

I'm an eclectic witch who prefers to stick to crystals, pendulums, and tarot. I have a few fun experiences with ghosts and medium type things, but that can be for another email. I've got ADHD inattentive type and am unfortunately a November Scorpio. I just wanted to write in about tarot as that's my primary form of practice. It can be intimidating and honestly you guys seemed intimidated slash overwhelmed as well so yeah i don't read frequently and i never remember the card names but there are plenty of resources that i used and it works out quite well for me most people i have read for have said that my readings are very accurate even if i'm terrified every time i do a reading and then hit a bunch of random keys which again scorpio

all that's more Gemini energy. I think that's true. I think that's actually tend to relate to Scorpios a little bit. I'm like, okay, it kind of meshes, you know, up until the Scorpio part, everything that Lynn said, uh, was like a perfect bumble BFF profile, by the way, of like, listen, there's a, there's a little witch, there's a little ADHD. It's a whole bag of stuff over here. It's just a bag of surprises, you know? I don't read, she says. So far, Lynn and I could vibe for sure.

I feel it working out already. Okay, let's see. Generally, I use tarot.com and labyrinthos. So that's labyrinth with O-S dot C-O. When I read for people, I ask for them to pick three or more numbers and we'll pick out those cards from the deck. That's interesting. So if they choose card five, I count the fifth card from the top.

To me, it helps imbue whatever energy they give into that number of card. From there, I will use intuition and card meanings together. I look at the websites and rather than read every single detail, I will glaze over the paragraphs and whatever meanings draws me in the most are the ones that i compile i will also use whatever is being illustrated on the card in conjunction to that if my gut tells me to do so i have a deck inspired by van gogh and sometimes if there is a particular element of the design that i'm fixating on that will be included for example is it called van gogh tarot no okay next probably yes and it probably does rhyme i really wanted to insert that in there and i had a show tarot i had to shove it in so you mean does it say like van

go tarot with like ogh at the end oh yes yeah. For example, there is, this is a quote. There is a spiral along the upper coast of this lighthouse, which may obscure the vision of X, Y, Z. Perhaps in your love life, this is occurring too. I'll take whatever resource calls depending on the card. So if out of the three picked one card is asking me to use the guide that came with the deck, I will use the guide that came with the deck. I tend to use pendulums in order to get to know my deck as well. I only had one. However, I got another one recently. So did I, by the guide that came with the deck. I tend to use pendulums in order to get to know my deck as well. I only had one. However, I got another one recently. So did I, by the way, and I plan to do the same routine.

I will leave my deck out on a windowsill to cleanse her. Oh, her. My new deck and old deck are both very feminine in feel. Then I will use a pendulum to ask which names they prefer. That's so nice. That's lovely. My old deck is Marina. And for some reason, the name marzi pops

into mind for the new deck intuitively so i will ask do you like the name marzi i may do a spread for purpose opinions etc each deck may have a personality and i will treat them as individuals rather than taking whichever deck seems fun for a reading mostly because marina is very blunt and the meanings that draw me in tend to be incredibly upfront she has no mercy and then there's a smiley face with like the little tear okay i tend not to do spreads either as they overwhelm me and i tend because we've talked about that remember how like spreads overwhelmed us oh yeah oh yeah i tend not to do spreads either as they overwhelm me and i tend to feel restricted in meaning when it comes to them unless i need something fast i find that people think that you need to follow a certain practice or a certain spread or a certain

X, Y, or Z when it comes to tarot, but just follow whatever your intuition tells you is best. Tarot is incredibly personal and each deck is different. It may be easiest to go into tarot without a strict set of guidelines just to get a feel for how your intuition works. I always and forever will be terrified when I pull cards and honestly that ain't gonna change anytime soon it's natural from a scorpio sun aries moon taurus rising yes i have co-star a end of email literally did any of them say goodbye no well actually hayley said love hayley okay well that hayley's also like got a belly full of wontons or something. So yeah, true. Haley feels like a one of a kind situation. Well, I guess actually, um, I'm scrolling through

here and Corin said XOXO a Scorpio. Okay. Okay. So we've got a mixed bag. Yeah. So they're kind of, wow. All over the place. Wow. Eva was right. This is the most chaotic thing I've ever heard. You know, Eva, well done. Well done. You did pull it in a new direction. I really did. I really thought for a second it was going to be armchairs. I don't, we never did crack the case on what armature means. was that is that what it was then she just spelled amateur wrong oh damn so sorry about all of my hysterical laughing wait what did you think she was trying to say i never figured it out i really just landed on armchair and just ran with it she just spelled amateur with a ure instead of an eUR. Oh, wow. Okay. I think armchair is still in the running for us. Oh, that should be next month.

Are we doing next birthday year, or are we doing next month? Because nobody's going to remember that next year. I don't know. One day in the middle of the night when Eva remembers, oh yeah, armchairs, then that can be the month.

That'll be the month. Okay. It would be fun to be a surprise anyway. That's true.'ll, you know, in a couple months, all of a sudden I'll be like, shut the fuck up. Is this about armchairs? Um, anyway, we should do it during Scorpio season. Eva, you have until November, November 1st. Wow. Okay. So that was a real wild ride. I do feel like, I feel like all of June is going to have kind of a wild energy. So I feel like this set the precedent really high for us. Yes, it did. Um, we're, and to be fair, when we're recording this, we have not reached Gemini season. So I feel like Eva did kind of find a loophole there. Jet set us there in advance.

She made us read this today instead of like during our birthday season you know so like i guess i'll let it slide yeah well i'll take it i think it was great and i hope whenever uh i mean we haven't even gone to our book signing set so i hope that those go well um we are about to we are about to tomorrow or two days from now, finish our tour. Wow. So when this comes out, so many things will have already been completed. And then it's our birthdays. And then I'm sure we'll find some other wackadoodle adventures over the summer. So wackadoodle adventures indeed.

Well, happy birthday, Christine. Happy birthday, boo. I'm so excited to see you soon and record our actual birthday episode. I'm so excited. That comes out June 5th. Yes. Oh, so hey, my birthday, your birthday, birthday episode. Bada bing, bada boom. One, two, three. Here we go. And that's why we drink.