And That's Why We Drink - Listener Stories: Vol. 74

Episode Date: December 1, 2022

Happy unhinged Honda-days! Christine is channeling multiple demons to bring us another rendition of "Christmastime is here" but we're all about helping you celebrate any and all holidays you partake in! We've got some wild, spooky "home for the holidays" themed stories because 'tis the season for chill-inducing caroling trips, heartwarming haunted Christmas lights and a rock collector turned under-the-bed bone collector who's holidays have been haunted ever since. Merry Chremit to all! ...and that's why we drink!

Christmas time shit hold on hold on take two oh my god Christmas no hold on take two

I'll do it I got it shut up shut up shut up okay Christmas time is here there okay the weird thing about nailed it

the weird thing about i don't know if it's your pitch or your harmony i don't know what the right word is but you really do sound like multiple children in unison that's the demon that's that live inside me where all of them kind of rally together and sing in chorus. I don't know how one voice sounds like a unison. Oh, Lord. Oh, well, happy Thanksgiving, Christmas, Hanukkah. Christmas, Hanukkah. Happy holidays from us to you.

It's December. Happy Toyota-thon. Happy Hanukkah days. Whatever you practice privately you know whatever we acknowledge all of the above yes and we respect and give time off for all of the above especially happy honda days if eva texted us and went listen it's gonna be a big day over here at the eva gross family house um for toyota-thon i'm really to need to take the day off. My girlfriend Rachel and I have actually converted and we're now celebrating Toyotathon.

We're actually trucks. We're actually truck people now. Oh, we're actual trucks. Oh, we're literal trucks. We're literal trucks now. They morphed into... Honk, honk. I need time off.

And I'd say, okay, go for it. My girlfriend's actually a Toyota Camry now. Oh, I see. Oh, I knew we weren't allowed to ask that when we were, you know, it's like a private question to ask somebody. So I'm glad we finally know the deets. Anyway. OK.

I feel so unhinged today. i don't know what is going on did you tell it's earlier than oh it's not earlier than we usually it's like fully not all right the holidays the honda days excuse me the honda days are here i'm uh i've i have something to crack into it. I'm drinking something you're going to absolutely hate. What is it? Like sardine juice or something? You might be able to guess. It's close. So I got it at Trader Joe's. It's organic, sparkling lemon and strawberry apple cider vinegar beverage. Wow. That took my breath away. It sounds so awful. I, from across the country, I took my breath away. It sounds so awful.

I, from across the country, just got heartburn for you. Oh, thank you. Thank you. I just cracked into it. I never had it, so we'll find out. I'm going to gag, because if you don't, I'm going to judge you more. The internet, the blog that I follow about Trader Joe's products said this was worth buying. Does it smell like apple cider vinegar? A little bit, yeah.

But so does kombucha, you know? Oh, you would be a kombucha bitch. Whoa! Kombucha bitches! I was going to say kombucha bitcha. Never mind. It didn't land. Kombucha bitches assemble!

What's happening today? It's really good. Does it really taste good? it's actually quite good yeah it's i'm happy for you vinegary than kombucha i would say anyway this is where we read stories you send in it's a listener's episode it's not about us okay okay okay it's about you and your and your family and your partner and however you celebrate and maybe if you turn into trucks every now and then that's okay it's okay with us um all right wow i guess there's no recovering so let's just start again your turn okay here is uh our first story i was told that

this is a home for the holidays themed themed episode, my friends. Yep. And Home for the Holidays is, when I hear that, I'm just triggered by the concept of Hallmark movies. Oh, the best. I hear Home for the Holidays and I think like a rugged man and he's a farmer in a small town. He's a Christmas tree farmer, to be clear. He is. He is. And he's got like, he's a christmas tree farmer to be clear he is he is and he's got like he's obviously a widower um obviously that doesn't stop him from going to every game for his son

and they just kind of live it out actually daughter because he needs to be really emotional right and the writer room the writer's room changed that up um and then yeah big hot shot lawyer comes into town she's got to sign some last minute papers. Her heel gets stuck in the mud at the Christmas tree farm. And she doesn't know what to do. She hates this town. Oh my gosh, it stinks. And he's the one that emotionally saves her because he has a daughter. And then at some point she falls in love with the town and him and herself all over again.

How will I do my lawyery duties? Which is why when the big city calls, she's got to reconcile with what she really wants in life. That's exactly right. The rubber meets the road. And that was the first story of our listeners episode. So here's the next one. The end.

Okay. It's called Home for the Holidays, ghost story by Kayla, who uses she her pronouns thank you for normalizing pronouns kayla uh and the story goes i love it when they say hi to eva first hey eva and all the in that's why we drink crew great happy holidays when m said back home for the holiday stories oh i did this okay oh good for you sometimes i look at my mess and I go, oh, I did cause this. Oh, that's mine?

Oh, my mistake. I was confused. I thought someone else caused this. I wasn't planning on having responsibility today. I'm so sorry. When Em said back home for the holiday stories, I had to write this one in. So first, a little backstory. I have a little brother we'll call Alan, and we grew up in a turn-of-the-century farmhouse

that my parents bought when I was seven months old. Alan is four years younger than me, and when he was old enough to sleep in a bed, we got bunk beds. I took the top bunk, and Alan had the bottom bunk. If you're the top bunk, that means you reign supreme. I don't know if you needed to re-hear that, but top bunk was... I always had top bunk, but you don't have siblings, but it's just oldest gets top bunk that means you reign supreme i don't know if you needed to rehear that but yeah i mean i always had top bunk but like you don't have siblings but like as a it's just older oldest gets top bunk you know oh oh i guess so you don't you can trust that they won't roll no it's just

because you get to choose because you're older oh you know you get the authority to decide i actually had a bunk bed growing up and i had both bunks. Yeah, you would. You would. I'm not surprised by that at all. The second one was for all my dollies. Oh my God. Nice. Okay. So I took the top bunk. Alan had the bottom bunk.

My parents' room at the time was upstairs and our room was off of the dining room, which was connected to the front living room. So they're on a different floor than their parents. The living room and dining room were hardwood floors and our room was carpeted. I promise all of this matters. Thank you for letting us know. I love when they say that, because then I'm like, well, I would hope so. Because like, what if it didn't matter? Sometimes we have gotten some stories where the information goes on. Wait, what about that? What about the carpet? What happened to the carpet? It will be relevant, but we're also on the last sentence i'm getting scared

no no uh i appreciate the the extra calming sentence here if i promise it makes as soon as we started sharing the bunk beds alan would fall out of his every night uh-huh see that's why he had me say told you need a railing in there. I would go wake up my parents so they could put him back in bed because even as a toddler, this kid was huge. Alan is listening somewhere right now going, oh my God. He's 6'5 now. Oh, shit. Stop growing. so my dad installed a bed guard on the side of his bed and it was about a foot tall and alan would still roll himself over the railing and fall to the floor and then stay completely asleep

i respect his commitment to the nap you know eventually i'd stop waking my parents up and start shaking him till he woke up and i'd put him back in bed however this came with consequences because when i'd wake him up he'd start crying and tell me the old man that walks the floor made him fall out of bed oh no oh no no that's the end of the uh christmas cheer you've been listening to no i told him it was a dream and put him back to bed every night this went on for almost a year until we finished adding onto the house aha renovations and i got my own room and left alan our old bedroom by himself bye yeah you were like peace out alan have a good time with that weird guy have a good time on the floor i went on with my life and pretty much forgot all about this happening fast forward to my first year of college wow really time traveling and i came

home for christmas and found that i was now allergic to our family dog oh no which is one of the uh one of the saddest developments of my life because of this i couldn't sleep well at night so i slept in the recliner in the living room my brother had a cold coincidentally and was sleeping in the second recliner closest to the front door now like i mentioned earlier alan is six five and at this time a linebacker on the high school football team what a scary scary looking what a scary person to find in the dark in a recliner like in the middle of the night i feel like i know but also like the number one person you want when you're walking down a street. Fair point. I was sleeping and something woke me up around 2 a.m. And it sounded like someone walking on hardwood floors in work boots.

This was weird, though, because my parents had carpeted the living room. Oh, no. Residual hauntings, my friends. Oh, no. I laid there for a minute trying to go back to sleep when I heard a noise over by Alan. I glance over and see him standing by the recliner looking down at where he had been sleeping. Huh? Ugh.

Now we both have sleepwalking disorders, so I figured he was sleepwalking. Again, like you said, scary fucking shadow to see sleepwalking in the middle of the night. I call out, Alan, lay back down. You're sleepwalking. He doesn't respond, so I call out louder, Alan. And then the recliner sits up and my brother sits up and says, what do you want? I'm sleeping. He's in the recliner.

Truly? Absolutely not. I hate it. I hate it. I hate it. Wow. The goose can hit both my arms at the same time this time. Does it usually go in waves?

It's usually one arm at a time for some reason, but this time it hit me in both elbows, got me in the knees, a little on the thighs. It's all over the place. Oh, my God. Okay. Wow. Let's recover. I'm still looking at this man who is just as big as my brother, standing by my brother, looking down at him him and i start screaming because i instantly think it's an intruder sure oh and so scary that she can see this thing but he can't yeah he's like what do you want and there's a person oh that's terrible yeah my dad had a touch lamp by my chair and without taking my eyes off the man i hit the

lamp and turn on the light the man instantly disappeared i started sputtering that there was a man right there and pointing towards the door alan turns and looks where i'm pointing looks back to me and says way too calmly you mean the guy i told you about every night when we were kids yeah he's still here oh my god then rolls over and goes back to sleep this guy's so jaded he has he has had to deal with this his whole life. This poor kid. He's like, please don't give me information that's not new. This poor kid.

Also, it'd be one thing if I knew that there was a ghost every night near me that used to fuck with me as a little kid. But now you're a 6'5 linebacker. Yeah. And you're just so used to a man standing and staring at you while you sleep. Like just watching you sleep. Woo. Forget it.

Uh, we've had a few more crazy experiences in that house, including my brother having such an intense nightmare of someone strangling him that he punched a hole through his wall. Oh God. I never feel alone there. Even when I am, Alan actually became a minister and he's blessed the house a few times.

Yeah, of course. Of course he became a minister. He was like, I have no choice. I know one way out of this. He's like basketball. Oh, wait, no. Football or football or ministry. Jesus Christ.

Football or Jesus Christ. It always feels better for a few months after he blesses the house, but then goes back to feeling icky. Ooh. for a few months after he blesses the house but then goes back to feeling icky oh i have a few more crazy stories about houses i lived in when in college while i was in college and i will have to write in later about them i love you all and have a great and safe holiday season uh you're the first podcast i ever listened to and you continue to be one of my absolute favorites i love that i got to listen to your friendship grow. Aww. It's from Kayla.

That's so nice, Kayla. Wow, that's horrible. Thanks a lot. Thanks, Kayla. For the nightmares. It's freaking heinous. You know, thanks for the memories song. We just have to change it up.

Thanks for the night. Yeah, I'll work on it. Oh, that was spooky. Okay, this is from Michaaela she her and the subject is a december ghost story like father like son i love when they have a little subtitle you know i know it's like i i don't know what it does to me but it does something also speaking of sons giovanni came in to sit and he's just driving me absolutely nuts i actually woke up to record this episode from a dream that i was having about geo no really that's cute i probably know let's look at him he's like we were in san francisco and i was holding him like

a little baby uh what i was holding oh that's not the weirdest dream you've ever heard of no but it's still weird i was holding him like a little baby and he was like his little pushy was in my lap and i was holding his back up and i was just we were i was giving him a little kiss he was giving me a little kiss i was giving him a little kiss he's giving me a little kiss and we were just out by the water in san francisco and we were in the back of a truck and he was driving around but the wind but the wind was making his hairs look so majestic yeah he does love to get like a little his mane flows in the wind you know it's a good dream anyway then i woke up to deal with you sorry i know i'm realizing now how terrible that must have been it was not a bad experience but it certainly i would have preferred to stay there okay hello eva i'm christine and all the babies i'm a longtime listener and first-time submitter

and neighbor in the north canada in case that wasn't clear my home sweet home god this is a singing episode i was excited to share my story when i heard you were looking for december themed suggestions i think it might also fit the theme and hometown stories as they happen in my hometown of yellow night yellow knife northwest territories okay and in my dad's hometown of winnipeg manitoba it starts off a little sad but it gets better with time as all things do oh that's very wise when i was nine my dad passed away of a sudden heart attack 10 days before Christmas. Oh, my God. Oh, shit.

And 19 days before his next birthday, which was close to New Year's. Christmas was definitely always an exciting time for us and a great opportunity for friends and family to come together with all the festivities and events. You could imagine it came as quite of a shock and hit us hard that year. He was a pilot and worked long and busy hours as he loved what he did. Okay, now I'm getting emotional. A few days after his death, my mom was saying how she had begged him to fix the Christmas lights in our backyard for weeks before he passed. And in a classic dad way, he always confirmed that he would get to them soon. Uh-huh.

Yeah, well. Also in a very me way, in a very em way. a very i was gonna say i guess i'm a dad i guess we're dads now poor allison has to tell me something weeks in advance before it just becomes a real problem yeah if i remember correctly she had asked him again the day before he passed and he told her he would do it tomorrow as we got home from the hospital the night after he died my mom was quite surprised to see all the lights in our backyard turned on and brightly reflecting on the Oh! That's moving. He's passed away in the hospital.

He's like, wait, before I go, one more thing I have to go do. I have to run home and fix the lights. I promised. Oh, man. I really am trying to keep us together. That night, I was laying in my bed trying to sleep when I suddenly felt the instinct to turn around and face my doorway. In it, I was surprised to see my dad's glowing figure leaning in the doorway and softly smiling to me. I was a bit frightened until I saw him turn away as if he was walking down to my mom's room.

I chased after him down the hallway only to realize he was gone by the time I had gotten up. I believe it was his way to say goodbye to all of us that night. He had started at my brother's room, then mine, and then went to go see my mom. Oh my God. That's also so,

well, first of all, I really, that's very sweet. I, I think it's even cooler that you got you can like almost confirm part of the story of like oh i watched him walk to your room because now it's like two perspectives of the same thing because i don't i think that's just like extra cool though like you got your own goodbye and you got to see him on his way to say goodbye to other people okay well get this years, I was speaking with my mom

and she confirmed that that night she had a dream where he visited her to let her know he'd be gone for a little while but that they would meet again. So that same night where she saw him walking to her mom's room, her mom saw him the same night. Wow. Mm-hmm. Oh, shit.

I was definitely shaken by the experience but knew he was with me still through different experiences with psychics and healers i've confirmed my suspicions and know that he is part of my spirit guides there have been moments where i've felt his presence strongly and it's always been very comforting to tie in the second hometown story years later i was helping my mom drive across country from yellow knife back to her hometown of ottawa where i had set up after university it's quite the trek and i decided to introduce her to my new favorite podcast atwwd oh well i i'm glad that i we got a mention and thanks for letting us insert ourselves into your story yeah listening to the stories i got curious and asked her if she had Yeah. alone. She was taking a bath when she heard the doorbell ring. Their home was in a new development and pretty out there and away from the regular city. She explained there weren't many houses

built there yet and was surprised to think there would be visitors. For some reason, against better judgment, she decided to get out and dressed to sneak towards the door. She was curious but didn't want anyone to know that someone was home in case it was a weirdo. Fair enough. That is exactly the move. Thank God for ring doorbell. That's all I have to say. Yeah. There was a way to peer out a window from a side room to see who would be at the front door. She snuck through the house and managed to sneak a peek

to see an older man with a hat waiting at the front door. She was a bit freaked out and felt vulnerable, naked and wet in her bathrobe. Yeah. So she went back upstairs and waited for the man to leave. He eventually did. When my dad got back home, she explained what had happened and who he and who she had seen. My dad asked her more questions on the man's appearance and what he was wearing. She described the hat and his dress and my dad got a weird look on his face. After a

moment, he looked at her and confirmed i think that was my dad my grandfather had died of a heart attack before my parents had met my mom and i joked that he probably just wanted to check out my dad's new girlfriend and check in on that my family does the same thing by the way my grandpa my my mom prefaces everything with well he was a dirty old man so he probably is really here for this this and this he was a weirdo all along see yeah little did he know he caught her at an awkward moment haha so like father like son i suppose thank you for listening and i hope you enjoyed the stories and will enjoy the holidays to come i love listening to your podcast and always look forward to hearing stories when i have to leave for long drives. It's the best part of the trip.

Take care, Michaela. What a beautiful story. I also really liked her dad leaning in the doorway. That's exactly what happened to me with my grandpa. I know. I saw you nodding. I was like, this is very familiar. Well, I.

Weren't you the same age or about or you were seven seven um but i wonder what he did i've always wondered for myself like what happened to my grandpa after i like closed my eyes i went back to sleep like does he just fade away does he jump into the sky does he walk away like who knows yeah but it's interesting because i so i don't remember him walking to my mom's room or anything to say goodbye but i do remember seeing i don't actually remember him walking i remember waking up and seeing him in the hallway i remember waking up and seeing him leaning against the doorway and then i remember waking up again and seeing him in my bedroom like every time i closed my eyes and opened them it was a new yeah closer but i wonder how he actually traveled through the hallway to my room it's cool that i almost

feel like i got confirmation of like oh he was able to walk yeah yeah yeah wow i mean wow that's still so stinking cool i really do like that she got to confirm for her mom like i straight up saw him walk into your room girl and then the mom the mom was like, oh, I saw him that night, too. Yeah. Oh, man. That's great. Oy, oy, oy. Home for the holidays is going real good.

Oh, boy. The next one, already a personal fave because they've got the double pronouns. This is from Jess, who uses she, they. Love it. A she, they. And the subject line is a real zuzy um a christmas elf a criminal and a ghost go to the movies what wait what sorry okay hold on start christmas elf uh-huh which like are we talking like will ferrell elf or like elf on the shelf i don't keep our elf all of are horrific. I don't want any of them.

So many versions of elves. A Christmas elf, a criminal, and a ghost. Go to the movies. All right. Okay. I'll see how this goes. I'm ready. Oh, this is a lovely little introduction.

Hello to friends of all shapes and sizes. That's nice. That's nice. You could be an elf. You could not be an elf. You could be a truck. You could be an elf. You could not be an elf. You could be a truck. You could be an elf. I've been listening since episode 16 and have wanted to write in for a while. And finally, at my partner's urging, I am ready to tell you one of my stories. My life has been full of fun stories as my parents were both in law enforcement they literally met in jail okay well not everyone can say that

i need a story about that story please i need their meet cute in jail that'll be january's listener topic january jail january stories okay um in jail uh they literally met in jail and with the women on my mom's side of the family being very sensitive to all things paranormal. Since the holiday season is upon us, I figured this is the perfect story to send in. Picture this. I've never heard someone actually say that in a sentence. I'm immediately about to picture whatever you're going to say. Okay.

Picture this. It's 2015. Before everything went to shit and I'm newly in college. Aw. it's 2015 before everything went to shit and i'm newly in college oh i have always been theatrical and promptly surrounded myself with others from the theater department when the preface is scary i know uh that december sorry i thought that was the punchline the scary part it's a horror story picture this christine goes ah that december my and I, who were part of a local student church organization, were invited to participate in a caroling event where we drove around an assisted living

community on a hayride and sang with the old people. Oh, that's really cute. That sounds like a Hallmark movie. That's how it ends, actually. Our story we wrote. The other hall of the hayride. Is the hayride is the hayride inside the no it's probably just like an outdoor community thing i don't know sorry i'm picturing

like a nursing home but i think it's probably like oh out like everybody has different never mind it doesn't matter jess should have written picture this picture this i'm trying to picture it too carefully i need to just let go of the details okay okay remember how i said i'm super theatrical it's more than you pictured well picture this okay i i decided to go all out and dress as an elf in order to see the old people smile even more or scream or scream and then we get another it's important to the story i promise oh my gosh things went well and afterwards all of us six in total decided that we wanted to go see the krampus movie yeah i love how you started a church organization then you're like let's go to a movie about satanist lucifer okay oh that's who's in my that's who's singing the choral verse in my body.

I always wanted to know all the names in your throat. And apparently it's just, I'll swallow you. She's demons. Wow, my throat cannot keep it together. You're being particularly funny today, Christy. So unhinged today. I don't know what's going on. It's making my Christy. I'm so unhinged today. I don't know what's going on. It's making my ADHD thrive, though.

I'm so sorry. At every turn, there's a new stimulus. I'm like, what is happening? Okay, so they left church to go see Krampus. Right, as you should. Picture that. Okay. Being in a relatively small town, the closest theater that was showing the flick.

Flick. What is going on with your vernacular? I am loving this. Their flick. Okay. Being in a relatively small town, the closest theater that was showing the flick was an hour drive away and had a late showing that we could just barely make. showing that was that we could just barely make we piled in a suburban and we were off and about 30 minutes out of town the driver's car started acting up oh lights were flashing it was making a horrendous sound and we ended up having to pull over on the side of the highway oh my god it was around 10 p.m and it was pitch black outside and we got out and did the usual i'm looking under the hood and have no idea what I'm looking at. And then sent the, hey, mom, I'm stranded text with a picture under the hood asking for help. It was freezing, so we had all gotten back in the car in an effort to stay warm.

As we began calling all the people we knew in the area, asking for a jump or at least a lift for most of us to go home without much luck at all. for most of us to go home without much luck at all. As we were trying to make a game plan, out of nowhere, a car came pulling up behind us and parked about 30 feet away with their brights on. Ooh, this could be really good or so, so bad. I am already not loving this moment. It's a real risky 50-50 flip of a coin. It's actually not because in the title,

it said a criminal. And so I'm waiting for the criminal to appear in the story. And if it weren't one of the senior citizens, I'm imagining it's this guy right here. The story also said a Christmas elf, so I'm hoping like just a little people elf. Isn't she dressed as a Christmas elf? Oh, shit. You're right. Okay.

Yeah, we got the elf. So either this is a ghost pulling up or the criminal's coming later. I don't know. I'm not happy about it. You're so right. I'm not happy you're so right you're so right i'm not happy i immediately thought hey it's someone being nice who is going to help us let's talk with them okay well that well primes me to think you're wrong yeah now i always thought i was a bright person

but my friends looked at me trying to climb out of the middle seat to talk to the stranger and immediately let me know how dumb i am yes number one i was the only visibly female person in the car and number two we were alone on an unlit stretch of the highway with no cars visible for miles yeah this is the perfect place to get jumped for sure yep wait jumped in what way oh well either i guess they were acting asking for a jump of the car. That's true. You mean like in a bad way. Okay. Like in a bad way.

Like no witnesses nearby. We were alone on an unlit stretch of the highway. And what might be the most important thing to the story is that, number three, I was still dressed as a Christmas elf. Oh, no. Oh, no. to the story is that number three i was still dressed as a christmas elf okay oh no we debated what to do because the car had been sitting behind us for a few minutes without anyone coming out or making any effort to come help absolutely red fucking flag just open the car doors and just scatter that's what you gotta do just every man i don't know about i don't know about that don't

don't listen to m quite yet let me hear the the rest of the story and then I'll confirm or deny what Em says. Okay. The car had been sitting behind us for a few minutes without anyone coming out or making any effort to come help. It was just there, sitting with its brights shining at us from behind. It began to feel very eerie like we were being watched or worse like they were counting how many of us were in the car. counting how many of us were in the car. During our conversation, another car pulls up directly in front of us. Oh, so now you're like trapped in there.

Good night. We were literally boxed in by these two cars in the middle of nowhere in the dark. We ended up having my friend who was a huge, intimidating looking dude in a suit. It's actually, this is Alan's sleep ghost. The old man.

We had him attempt to see what was up. About two seconds after he got out of the car and began walking to the car behind us, it pulled up to the car that was in front of us and parked parallel to it. And then a few moments later, they simultaneously drove away into the night

this is bad news bad news wow absolutely absolutely no confirmation on like who these people were if they knew each other if it was a trap for sure oh my god wow the goose cam hit both the elbows again um the funny bones oh right now they feel like the fucking scary bones because it's not very funny okay so the cars drive away and then jess goes on to say we still do not know what that was all about now after all the excitement i got a text from my mom that was in response to uh the picture i sent of us stranded and her text simply said jess dot dot dot there are eight people in that picture and we promptly lost our shit and and the in the under the hood selfie because they're taking a picture while under the hood so they of that probably the group yep there was a

very sinister looking face peering at me and my friends directly across from us with another slightly above our heads that looked as a sort of protector oh i don't know why they were there but my mom firmly believes that the picture showed a demonic spirit being fended off by a guardian keeping us safe oh my god sorry it was so long i hope you have a very happy holidays jess i um i was afraid that it was going to be like oh you can actually see the criminals the criminals like taking a selfie with you before they did that's out of a horror movie where it's like wait like a head count and you're like there's an extra person here who is it yeah yeah that's like out of a horror movie that sounds like um

that creepypasta the one in the yep the one in the trailer when there was like somehow like there's always one more person by accident. The group of friends out in the trailer. Forget it. Wow, that is spooky. And for your mom to be like, who are these other two? I hate it. I hate it. Well, I'm glad your friends did not let you get out of the car because clearly these other two cars had bad intentions.

Yeah. I wonder why they both pulled like to pull up implies that like they knew they had time to kill to like discuss in front of you. They were probably waiting for the other one. Oh, you mean pull up to the other car? Yeah. They probably pulled up and said, we got to go, you know? Because they probably saw the six-foot dude or whatever and were like, never mind. Like, they were probably waiting for people to get out of the car to see who was in it,

to see if they were, like, vulnerable enough. Then this big dude gets out of the car and they're like, you know what? Forget it. And they pull up to the other car and say, we're out of here. out of the car and they're like you know what forget it and they pull up to the other car and say we're out of here by the way like whoever your friend is that that that had the fucking cojones to get out of a car during that situation and walk towards the other car and accidentally saved you because it wasn't because yours was a little misguided originally jess was like i'm gonna get out of the car yeah yeah yeah uh whoever

the big strong scary person was that intimidated these people uh please text them and say thank you uh because wow that i would i'd be texting them every day being like i can't believe you saved our lives i can't believe you saved our lives that's crazy so scary so scary i'm glad you're okay i'm glad you and your friends are okay i could have gone really bad you know okay so this is one called oh so let me see this is from laura she her and the subject is december true crime small town listener story little league baseball gone wild wow that is not a hallmark movie title. A little. No, not really. Hi, Eva, Christine, and Em.

I am a longtime listener and huge fan. Your stories have gotten me through a lot of laundry, vacuuming, and long drives. When Christine and Em asked for a listener story about hometowns, I knew this was my chance to finally write in. Buckle up for a wild one. My hometown, located in rural Maryland, is small and quaint. Not much happens here other than typical small town stuff. That was until November of 2006 when our small town was hit with some big drama. Em is ready.

Look, you say drama, I come a-running. Over what, you may ask? Little League Baseball, of course. The best kind. the best kind it started oddly enough in september of 2005 when a teacher at our local middle school let's call her mrs s received a sealed letter from a mystery woman urging her to search a student's locker for knives she brings the letter to the administration who look into the matter but find nothing two days later the same student's father finds a letter threatening his son on the windshield of his vehicle jesus less than 15 days after that four additional middle school students find letters in their lockers that reference bombs oh my god holy shit additional threatening letters are found

by the middle school staff as well on november 3rd mrs s tells the middle school vice principal that she received a call from a young boy oh my god oh my god oh my god i have goose camp what from a young boy saying tick talk talk absolutely not truly forget it oh my god But when the phone records were checked, no call was listed. What? That freaks me out because that, first of all, I so badly want it to be a ghost story,

so it's not real. But also it could, that means like it's, there's someone smarter. I can like go against the phone system. You can dial star 67 or whatever blocks your phone number. Oh, right. I forgot about star 67. I don i forgot about i don't know i

don't know if they meant like there was no call at all listed on november 21st 2005 a note was found in the middle school bathroom reading tick tock tick tock is it a bomb or is it a clock right oh my god this is horrific i'm like really scared oh my god oh my god oh my god at this point the building is evacuated luckily no bomb was found on the school property but by this point the whole town is buzzing with who would do this on december 22nd 2005 oh m what mrs s was indicted for stalking and the multiple bomb threats. Wait, it was the teacher? Uh-huh.

Wait, well, I don't know if it's a teacher, but she was indicted for this. Okay, okay. Indicted for stalking and the multiple bomb threats, but the threatening letters do not stop. From March 31st to April 21st, these same middle school students continue to receive threatening letters in the mail. Mrs. S was convicted for the multiple bomb threats and stalking in April of 2007. The police were able to trace the bomb threat letters to Mrs. S's work computer where she had printed them off. So stupid. Oh, Mrs. S.

Mrs. S. Remember when Mrs. S, remember when M called you like technologically savvy? But really it's because you were lying about a phone call. Now it makes sense. It does. I didn't get it either. They were even able to match the stamps from the mailed letters to ones found in Mrs. S's home.

Do you think they were like the ones that are like Daffy Duck or whatever? It's like little kittens like wrestling on a ball of yarn yeah yeah it's like all the money goes to the humane society it also didn't help that mrs s had called the postmaster to check if mail could be traced that's kind of like the uh an old school version of like Googling like how to throw away a body. Yeah, yeah, yeah. How to not get caught stabbing someone to death. Which happens like quite a lot when they go back and search people's Google history. Like they just have these searches and they're like, well, that's just circumstantial.

And I'm like, circumstantial doesn't always mean like irrelevant though, you know? It's still pretty relevant. Boy. mean like irrelevant though you know it's still pretty relevant boy now why would a middle school teacher married with two young boys one in middle school and the other in elementary at the time do such a thing well her oldest son had not made the little league baseball team so she had resorted to stalking and harassing the young boys who did make the team in the hopes that she might spook them off so that her son could have a chance on the team mrs s there's other ways to handle that sports oh yeah there's like what one little league team couldn't just like do the gosh

the local community one or something oh my god there's a theater club maybe there's certainly other things to do um but also let's take a second and think of how fucking traumatizes poor middle school it's terrible to know that like your mom yeah and your mom's that one in the small town like no one's gonna forget that terrible this all started when i was in sixth grade with none other than Mrs. S as my social studies teacher. Wow. Oh, God. Was in the freaking class. Oh, my God.

This is wild. She was a little quirky and sometimes eccentric, but it is crazy how you truly do not know what someone is capable of, even when you sit in the front row of their class. Wow, wow, wow. Okay, it says, I hope this wasn't too too long and if you have a chance to read it during the december listener stories i will surely lose my mind well goodbye to your mind laura goodbye to ours too because that was quite a doozy oh i have a goose cam that was a great fucking true crime story like small town drama like plot twist you know pettiness i feel like if i were even a student in in that class though i would second guess everything I ever was taught to believe in that class.

I'd be like, oh, shit. Are we sure Czechoslovakia is not Czechoslovakia anymore? Because I'm not really sure. I feel like I can't trust anything Mrs. S says. I know. And middle school is so brutal. That poor kid. Middle school is hard enough.

That poor kid could never be on the Little League team ever again. Oh, he couldn't even probably look at any i mean the fact that parents were getting like letters on their windshields threatening their kids who puts a bomb threat in a freaking kid's bathroom i mean this is i mean clearly there are other stuff probably behind the scenes yeah yeah you know um but wow um oh i sorry let me just finish this sending you all well wishes and holiday spirit love laura oh thanks laura i just want to finish up wow oh that's that's certainly a doozy it definitely could be the beginnings of a hallmark

i think it could be uh i think we gotta soften the edges a little bit not sure about the bomb threat part i feel like maybe they don't like that word in their holiday films. Oh, certainly not. They would call it a clock. Tick tock, tick tock. Oh, that would be the name of the... Oh, my movie, baby. I don't know.

I don't know. I think that's taken by an app that the youths are using. Oh, okay. Good call. Good call. Thank you, Laura. And also, so sorry for the probable trauma that's uh that's come from that my teacher's uh bomb threatening my school as i sit in her class front row i feel

but all the other teachers that came after you probably were like oh my god i have to really like i have to make them like school again like it was i was already at a disadvantage they're so scared of me now yeah the next one oh you're gonna like this one i think oh okay uh this is from daphne who's a she her pronouns thank you for my name daphne and uh daphne's story is called poltergeist farmer well you know i love it i love it already i feel like it's pretty similar to poltergeist Cowboys. I feel like the aesthetic is the same. Or a minor, like not a kid minor, but like a coal miner.

Those three ghosts just nailing it. You really like ghosts in the form of like jobs that don't get enough credit. Old timey, yes. Uniformed positions that are, yeah, kind of obsolete now and like don't get enough credit. I think you need to unpack that. I think you're 100% right. Wow. Like jobs of the past that were once like.

Underappreciated. Underappreciated. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Wow. Em, you're really getting. Everyone's got a thing. That's your thing. Yeah, it's my thing.

Sorry. All right. No to apologize. Everyone's got their thing. Okay. your thing. It's my thing. Sorry. All right. No to apologize. Everyone's got their thing. Okay. Hello, Eva M. Christine, and that's why I drink solidified fruits and peeps. Wow. My name is Daphne, and I have a winter slash generational story to tell you.

Oh, la la. I got a huge update on the story this year, 2022, and the possible era of the entity I encountered in 2008. To better understand my story. Wow, I'm really loving the people who brought context to the fucking table today. Wow. To better understand my story, I need to give you a brief background of myself. I was raised in a spiritualist household. Oh, Daph oh definitely we could

ask you a million questions are you 200 were you born in 1805 all i know about spiritualism is that m tells me it happened in like 1820 honestly if you are 200 years old could you please write back via ouija board that'd be great yes i was raised in a spiritualist household where my mother was the primary caretaker regarding our spiritual lives naturally my family is very open when the subject is about entities and spirit as a child i was susceptible to that realm what a cool way to say that but also i'm so scared for you susceptible to that realm you know that's like we should tell um the person earlier who was oh she was her name hold on we should tell kayla when who was, oh, she was her name. Hold on.

We should tell Kayla when she's allergic to her dog. She's just susceptible to that realm now. Also, your poor 6'5 linebacker brother was really susceptible to that realm. He certainly was. He was just chucked out of his bed every night. Do you think that ghost was trying to pull him out of the recliner? Like, shit. When he's in a bunker, I can just roll him off. When he's in a bunk bed, I can just roll him off. When he's in this recliner, what do I do?

Pull him by his ankle? Actually, that's a great point. Like what is with the physical aggression every night? Does he want the bed? Like now you have the bed. He's not in the bed. Go sleep in the bunk bed. Does he want a buddy?

Like he's trying to wake him up or? I don't know. Anyway, sorry. I don't know, but I hate that he still hasn't figured it out years later yeah he needs to get get get a new hobby yeah all right so so in case you forgot daphne's susceptible to the realm sure sure sure sure my father was always has always supported this decision even though his foundation was catholicism Gotcha. So he's an open-minded dad. Love it. My grandparents from my father's side are Catholics with a military background.

And they moved a lot in Ecuador, which means many different houses and many different energies in those houses. So anything related to spirits and haunting was just gibberish talk. Nowadays, one of my aunts and cousins lives in the same household as my grandparents, and let's call her Aunt Daisy. Okay. At the Christmas of 2008, my father and I visited my grandparents in Ecuador. This was my first time staying at their place, and the house was on a mountain with a green field to raise sheep and chickens, which was a farmer's land. The first thing you see when you walk into the house is my aunt's bedroom a two-seated couch and the dining room

our bedroom door also faces this specific couch i have a feeling someone's going to be sitting in this couch eventually and they won't be alive um the second i stepped in i thought it was odd that my aunt's door had a tiny, tiny window. Oh no. Okay. I'm okay with this so far. I'm not. I'm like, oh no, a window. Even more bizarre was an embroidered image of mother Mary on a white towel covering the glass. Okay. That makes it weird to me. Told you. I heard Catholics. I heard i heard windows i heard i don't know i'm just not loving this i know something bad's happening i know window i mean a window is just a bigger people you know that's what i always say and a people is just a tiny tiny window you know um but then if you're covering it i don't know maybe i don't know your reasonings but okay

um so the it's covering the glass my aunt's weird so i didn't think much about it because i focused on staying warm and getting rid of my goosebumps the following two days were lovely but i got goosebumps whenever i passed by the couch and my aunt daisy's door that evening my cousin wanted to show me her bedroom she sleeps in the same room as my aunt i was it was a it was cute and adorable, but full of Mother Mary images, baby Jesus in all corners, and her windows were all shut. It was so damn cold and creepy that I wanted to run out of there. Yeah, I feel like if there's an emphasis in only one room of religious relics and characters. Yeah, that's what's weird.

It's like, what are you doing? What's happening in that room? Yeah, something's trying to be warded out of that room, for sure. After dinner, we all went to bed. Later that night, I woke up to go to the bathroom, half asleep and half cold. The only light brightening the house was the moonlight. I walked out of the room trying to be very quiet,

tiptoed toward the bathroom, and then I felt a chilling glare coming from the couch. I stopped in my tracks and slowly turned to see a tall, pale man with pitch black robe looking clothes wearing a tall black hat just looking into my soul. He was skinny, yet his clothes were so long he looked over six feet tall. Ugh. I blinked a couple of times thinking it was my imagination,

but the more I blinked, the colder I would get and the darker and angrier his face would get. Oh, so he's like, yeah, you see me. I'm not going anywhere. He's like, oh, okay, you can see me. And boom, made it worse. see me and boom made it worse and boom i made it worse oh this was probably a three second stare but enough for me to lock

myself in the bathroom turn on the lights and just cry on top of the toilet oh no you poor thing and also like i would absolutely just sleep in that bathroom like oh i'm not leaving the bathroom not leaving the bathroom absolutely not hell no oh and so like oh god the the outfit i can't even guess what this person was yeah it sounds like a hat man almost but like but like more it sounds like did you watch haunting of hill house like the guy with the cane who like goes down the hallway no but was that character in a lot of promos because i feel like yeah it was like a hat and he had a cane and he like scooched himself down the hallway but he had these like long cloak kind of jacket robe situation that's what it

sounds like to me oh yeah staring and staring and staring oh god i'm just like don't you have anything else better to do like why are you staring get a hobby what how many times do i have to tell these people like come on um i was trembling like a leaf, cold like ice, and my inner spirit was so disturbed that I couldn't pray. Oh, my God. That's such a twisted sentence. After calming down, I returned to my room and went to bed. First of all, proud of you for leaving that bathroom because I could have never done it. Yeah, I'm in the bathroom.

I'm staying. Never mentioned a word to anyone until 2016. Got it. So you've been traumatized ever since. That's what I just heard. I was talking to my mom about the shadow figures from my bedroom. This is a story for another time. Oh, sure.

And I remembered the tall, skinny farmer from my grandparents' house. Halfway through my sentence, my mother completed the description perfectly. She saw the exact figure before she got married to my father. And then she still got married to him? I been like i'm running away from these people i was gonna say i was like if i've never seen this creature before and now i'm seeing it right before my wedding i'm like omen omen omen omen i'm like i love you it's not you it's not me it's absolutely that fucking guy on the couch it's that poltergeist farmer okay we all understand right i would at the very least be like i'm gonna marry you but if this goes south i want you to know that we were

fucking warned yeah and we turned our backs to the to the omen yeah exactly uh she told me she saw spirits haunting my aunt daisy when my parents were dating around the 1980s what my aunt maybe your husband maybe your dad brought something in because it sounds like only since he got there uh have these things been showing up wait what do you mean uh she's saying ever since my parents uh ever since her parents started dating that was the first time even her mom had this experience. Well, it sounds like the mom. No, no, no. I think the mom. It's the dad's family.

So the mom started dating him and met the family. You're right. So it's in the dad's family. Okay. Right. Right. My aunt couldn't sleep for weeks because a poltergeist was pulling her off the bed by the feet. I don't like that we had two of these same fucking stories.

Pulling her hair and just being mean to her why is everyone pulling each other off the bed she told me she saw spirits haunting my aunt daisy my aunt oh my god i was like rereading it hoping i was wrong it was being really nice to her the whole time sorry i actually just hugged um shit okay that's awful my mom asked if she told my grandparents but my aunt would reply oh this is all in my head i'm just imagining things oh and then and then it says i wonder where she got that idea thanks priests thanks priests i didn't say it but you sure sure did. My favorite Halloween costume still, not my favorite. One of my favorites was the guy dressed as a priest that says, you're welcome. Yeah.

I think it was our New Orleans show. Yeah. One of our Halloween shows when we did the costume contest, someone dressed up as a priest. It was a good time. So a way to cope with the haunting for her was to keep a little blind on her door window so the ghosts wouldn't bother her. It's sad that she had to just tell herself she was imagining it. I hate that. Also, I wonder what the trial and error process was for figuring out how to do something that would allow the ghosts to not bother her.

Because, like, you'd think the ghosts would just be like, okay, well, that was a cute little decoration you did. I'm just going to keep fucking with you. Being raised Catholic, you're like, well well what else is there to do except put mother mary everywhere like honestly true i imagine that's what a lot of catholics would do wasn't even raised catholic and if something was going on i'd be like oh mother mary ding dong i'm willing to try anything let's go all Well, being a badass independent woman, my mom confronted the ghosts by praying them out of my Aunt Daisy's bedroom that night. The energy went from chaos to peace and they all went to bed. How does your mom pray because I need her to come just sit in my closet every now and then?

Yeah. Shortly after, my mom was awakened by someone sitting on her feet. Okay, never mind. I don't want her in my house. Never mind. You're uninvited. was awakened by someone sitting on her feet okay never mind i don't want her her body was paralyzed but she could move her eyes and mouth oh she's having like one of those like sleep paralysis situations inches away from her face she see oh my god christine inches away from her face so this is after she has prayed it out of aunt daisy's room and confronted them confronted them so now i think

in retaliation great i did not like being confronted of course it has to wait till she's asleep and vulnerable because it's of course rude uh well remember she's susceptible to the realm the energy went from chaos to peace shortly after my mom wakes up to someone sitting on her feet her body is paralyzed she could move her eyes and mouth inches away from her face she sees a pale man cursing and saying mind your business oh no with a chill air coming from this dark figure oh no no it was the tall farmer threatening her the same one i'd seen 14 years ago she said she was slightly afraid but fought back telling him he couldn't do anything to her or my father and to let them be girl that's way too bold i would be like obviously you can do something i'd be like you know what you have

you have let your power show and i see it and i feel like i'm so sorry i would be like agree to disagree at the bare minimum, please. It's none of my business. You're right. Holy shit. Like for you to go like, there's nothing you can do. It's like, girl, you can't move right now. What are you talking about?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Fighting words. But I guess she was like, what are you going to do about it? What a badass. She said she was slightly afraid but fought back, telling him he can't do anything about it. And so let them be. He disappeared that same night, but returned once more when my mother moved out of my grandparents' house. She felt his presence standing by my aunt's bedroom, glaring at my mother during the move. Oh, that's so weird.

Almost like she got away from him. Or that he's just like happy she's finally leaving him with the aunt. She never spoke about it to anyone until that day with me. Gross. Wow. Oh, that's so scary. I wonder how many stories people are holding that they just haven't confirmed with each other, you know? Yeah, I don't know.

Maybe we need like a group therapy session where we all just get together and tell our stories. That's kind of what we are doing. Okay, actually, that's so true. There's a section here now called Huge Update. Oh, okay. My father visited me in Florida this year, and his dad's youngest sister, so his aunt, who lives in the same city as me,

had a dinner party to celebrate his visit. That night she showed us old pictures of them and the family that I never got to see before. the albums i saw an old man with my dad and my heart skipped a beat the old man was my great-grandfather and he had the same clothes as the poltergeist farmer i pointed at him and yelled that's it he was wearing a short hat with an unusually tall high collar shirt no robe in the picture. And I asked my dad and aunt about my great grandfather's outfit and where they were living. They replied that they lived on the same farmer's land I visited back in 2008.

And those outfits were typical in my great grandfather's time. I knew it wasn't him because the energy behind the picture was very positive. And he was still alive when my Aunt Daisy was a kid. Okay, okay, good. With that new information i could finally grasp when the annoyed farmer died and started to haunt my aunt daisy wow i believe that good and bad energy can distort and shape the spirit in the spiritual realm which could explain why the poltergeist farmer was very lengthy or it could be that he was a foreigner

living in ecuador around my great-grandfather's time dear lord thank you for reading this and so sorry for the long story this one still creeps me out because it was the first time i saw a human looking figure staring into my soul the first time hopefully the last what does that mean i had many encounters with other entities but they never acknowledged my existence until this farmer wish you all the best love you all and thank you for doing a show on my birthday april 1st uh happy holiday and new year ahead and then also i included an illustration of the farmer well i don't know about this okay we can't see it on here yeah we can't see it on here but i'm sure eva's gotta forward it to us or something. Yeah, yeah. But anyway, holy moly, that is one silly story.

Okay, Eva's grabbing the story. I mean, I'm sorry, the photo. But in the meantime, let me just say that is no good. I thought that evil can, like, warp a person, and that's why he was like, oh, I never even thought about that. You know, I've heard that, actually, because I think it was in Kindred Spirits, that, that like people can kind of show themselves in a way they want to be like, if they want to be menacing, they can make themselves look a certain way more menacing, taller, creepier, more demonic. There's I'm so lucky. Anytime I have seen something, it was always good or neutral or like they didn't if they and that's if they knew who I was. I feel like I've seen things before that like I just like walked in on a residual haunting.

Right. I'm so lucky I've never seen a negative intelligent haunting staring at me and acknowledging me. I mean knock on wood me neither. I have felt things but I've never seen anything. I'm so lucky to not be one of those people and i feel so bad for people who've had to deal with that i agree uh eva sent the photo btw and it's just terrible truly i swear to god i'm so over it um i eva can we ask write them back and ask if we can post this on instagram for people to see because it it like is so upsetting to look at honestly like i feel like it's staring at me and you know how like i

don't like talking about the ghost that we were talking to in new orleans because i feel like if i say his name we're like almost welcoming it back i feel like by looking in this picture's eyes too long we're giving it energy and then i'm like hey let's put it on instagram make everyone else look at it let me just do a quick i think i've got my my wand my salem wand next to me and i'm just gonna intentionally wow good job i really this is i do this by myself sometimes in my room when i feel something creepy show up i just go no thank you no thank you and then it just kind of goes away so i hope whatever i just brought in i took out at the same time that was awful i'm feeling fine go to christine's house that's what i want no stop it don't say that i'm just in i took out at the same time that was awful i'm feeling fine go to

christine's house that's what i want no stop it don't say that i'm just kidding i'm just kidding don't just go somewhere else maybe in a dog yeah go somewhere else not here not her eva's house no i don't know what the fuck is wrong with you jesus okay all right back to the other side where i'm not susceptible to the realm this This is from Valerie Sheher. The subject is hometown Christmas ghost, human bone under my bed? Question mark. Absolutely not. Hi, Eva.

I'm Christine. Human baby, lemon baby, and fur babies. To preface, I was a huge rock collector as a kid. Oh, that's so cute. And I love it so much. That's the best context we've gotten so far. I love it. Yeah,'s the best context we've gotten so far i love it yeah yeah yeah if you if you were a rock collector that is part of the information we will now be

we'll add it to the form on our website yeah you know yes or no a drop down menu i was a huge rock collector as a kid i know nerd i visited antietam battlefield when i was in eighth grade found a pretty rock and kept it turns out it was a human shoulder bone from the Civil War. Oh my god. Wow, it really could have been so many other things. What? It could have been a rock. It could have literally just been a fucking rock. And yet you found the jackpot, I guess, in some way.

Oh, I just got chills. It's sort of like, i wonder if you were like wow that looks like different from all the other rocks or if you were like drawn to the bone you know like i don't know yeah if you were like spiritually something was drawing you to it take this with you yeah can you imagine if um you die one day in a field uh obviously quickly and because it was painlessly painlessly natural at the age of 150 000 yes um that's exactly how did you know that's exactly how i want to go in the exact perfect uh under the the exact perfect conditions if you died in a field imagine this maybe your body just just over time just disintegrates back into the earth what's it like to know that like what have you died then like 50 years from now there's just a

child just carrying your fucking shoulder like i wasn't done that's not for you and your little you know those rock polishing kits that wear that. You press the button and it just swashes around like a hurricane. You can just hear a clang, clang, clang, clang. It's my shoulder bone. But also like to know that whoever's shoulder it was, to know that your shoulder was so well taken care of and so loved you're right like really cared for that's true and so just stepped on all the time you know that's a good point oh my god i can't i'm like one sentence that i can't get over this story okay

let's see oh all right turns out it was a human shoulder bone. Okay, sure. We took it to a museum to find out what it was after my dad noticed it didn't look like a rock. Your dad was like, I have a fucking hunch that something's up. I was like, I thought this was a safe hobby for my child. Imagine if your dad was like, like the chief of like the FBI and is like, I've seen rocks like that before. He's like, my child brings a fucking bone home oh no i've got a 13 year old kid who i know is just grabbing shit from the ground and something's wrong oh god okay um so they found out it was a shoulder bone i guess the museum said take it back home you can have it because she didn't know what to do with it so she kept it under her bed uh yep so she says that's when the weird things started after that there was

always something a little off about christmas time oh this is weird giving me the creeps already it started small at first tape and scissors would go missing when we were wrapping presents at dinner one evening a tray of freshly baked gingerbread we had sitting on the stove just disappeared that's a glitch on the matrix that's creepy the tray was there the cookies gone we were very confused until we found them all sitting around a gingerbread house in the family room ew see i was gonna go in real hard with the we know that's me as a ghost i would gobble up everyone's fucking snacks or the dog not in a million years would i just move them unless like but then that's extra creepy because it's so intentional and i put it with the gingerbread

house which is like it knows what to do with it we and also what is it so impatient it's like those don't go there those go here it's like what are you doing i like how they prop like once the cookie is cooled down they probably would have been brought to the house yeah exactly oh yeah this ghost is like i'll take a chill pill we're getting to it like you're dragging your fucking we're still looking for the tape okay um all of us were sitting at the table so we could not have moved them as christmas drew closer we would hear laughter around midnight or 1 a.m oh we were never scared of this entity as it just liked to play tricks on us it got to the point where we knew they were playing games and

we would speak out loud to them asking if they would please return our wrapping accessories we would leave the room to let them as soon as we return to the room the missing item would be sitting right on top of the wrapping paper see that's like but okay but that is like first of all pen and teller who like you know yeah right if you brought them over they'd be like holy shit i can't explain that also um that actually is something i've done multiple when i've lost something i will for some reason convince myself a ghost stole it and they think it's hysterical. And so a lot of times when I'm losing something, I will out loud say like, whoever you are

that just took it, like, haha, joke's over. Like, I really need you to just, I need it really badly. Can you please put it somewhere? And I will leave the apartment and think like in the next half an hour, it will just manifest. Does it? No. Oh, it will just manifest. Does it? No. Oh, like I'm so. I was like, wow, that's amazing.

I'm so jealous of this family where like they actually can use an excuse and get results from it. Except to be fair, there are probably times where they actually lose something and they're like, well, not the ghost. Like, I didn't take it. Sorry, you dropped it in the driveway. You know what I mean? I wonder if you could start making it do other things. Like instead of showing, instead of having it bring you things that you've lost, I wonder if you could get it to just take things away. You know? Take what?

Like the trash out? Maybe. Or like, I don't know, if you just wanted to like piss off your brother and just be like, steal this phone real quick. I see. I'm just going to slide this over to you. And just see if it goes away. Just see if it goes missing. Wow.

That would be something. That would be a Hallmark movie. That would be a Disney Channel original. Yeah. Okay. Okay. I moved to North Carolina. Uh-oh.

And the entity followed me. Oh, no. Fuck. And this is scary. scary that Christmas my scissors went missing I don't like when the when the sharp weapon goes missing then it's like maybe let's not play with that you know yeah cotton balls little pillows yes yes tape fine but I don't know about this scissors thing I asked them to please return my scissors. I went outside, came back in. Oh, my God. Sorry. Whoa.

Okay. Wow. What? I went outside, came back in, and the scissors were standing straight up on the point in the middle of the paper. Oh, no. Now it is way too sentient. No, no, no, no, no. Oh, my God.

I take it back. I've never actually wanted to see results like that in my own home. You're jealous of these people. Oh, no God. I take it back. I've never actually wanted to see results like that in my own home. You're jealous of these people. Oh, no. Fully take it back. I don't want that. No, thank you. And the scissors are sitting straight up on the point in the middle of the wrapping paper.

Now, I had a feeling this entity was stuck to that human bone in my room. You think? Yeah. When I returned to my childhood bedroom last year, I took the bone and buried it outside. Last Christmas, we had no ghostly encounters. I was about to say, I wonder if they miss the ghost. And then she wrote, part of me misses the ghost. And part of me is happy they likely passed to the other side.

Thanks for reading. I love the show and look forward to many more episodes. Merry Kremit. Oh, God. Not Merry Kremit. Oh God. Not Merry Kremit. What a way to end this. I, you know,

I wonder, it's so interesting that like something as like, I don't often think about my shoulder bone. I don't. It's hard to believe, huh? Cause I, you know,

most of us think about it all the time. Well, to think that like, if something were to happen to me and like something as random and arbitrary as my shoulder bones it's keeping me on the side i'm stuck to that i'd be pissed i'd be like are you kidding me like enough of me is buried i'm ready to go like like i was there for how many decades and now all of a sudden like i'm in a rock collection some like teenager just grabbed you from the ground and now you can't rest yeah it makes me worried like how many other people are just stuck for dumb reasons like that

you know yeah I wonder how many like people are haunted and they're like I have no idea why and they're just like my bones you have them that's not a rock ask your dad he knows oh oh my god well that's crazy I like that the story was not like really horrific it was just like you know the guy hung around at christmas time it's really interesting that it was always at christmas time too i wonder if he just like wanted companionship and like family or something or maybe he died on christmas maybe his birthday was christmas maybe maybe he just loved christmas like many of us do. What a story. What a fucking story.

The fact that the scissors, I can't. That was a bold call. That was the ghost getting a little too comfy for my taste. I think so. I'm glad that you recognize that too, Valerie, to be like, okay, time to put the bone out in the yard and bury it. Time to put the bone out in the yard and bury it. I wonder if he was just over not getting a crossover. And he was like, I'm going to do something that should probably shake them.

Just so they know that I'm over it. I know it's going to make them over it. Just so you know, if I go before you, Christine, and at some point part of me gets stolen from the earth and thus I cannot rest, you will start finding scissors on their points in the middle of every room no now you're tasked to go find my bones it sounds like a horror film oh no I do have a lot of scissors at my house because I lose them all the time and it's not a ghost it's just me I just misplace them I don't lose my scissors but Allison does this thing where she loves to use these like $5 scissors to cut the most impossible things. And like, then she just breaks the scissors. And then she thinks that we should keep them because they were good once. And I'm like, are you kidding me? You broke these scissors.

Okay, grandma, what are you talking about? I'm like, unless you plan on re-welding the scissors together, let's just throw them out so we can buy more for you to break so uh i've always got at least one pair of bad scissors and if you go first christine i request you use those just because i can't tolerate it having to buy scissors again all right fine yeah yeah yeah good plan good plan i will steal all the cookies off of your cookie tray though well i will probably make double because i know i already know you'll be doing that so So like, yeah, it's like leaving. It's like leaving cookies for Santa. But like if I'm in another realm, just leave cookies for me, too.

For Satan, a.k.a. you. For me and Santanus. Oh, what a time we've had today. Thanks, folks, for listening. Wow. Next time we see it'll be 2023, folks. And I can't abide by that that's a crazy it's gonna be a crazy crazy year hopefully in all good ways and that's the most manifesting

i'm gonna do we're gonna say apparently i made a joke at some point in the last one um and like one of our last listeners episodes i think i think i must have said something about like a oh i better not jinx it because like a meteor could come crashing down. And then literally, apparently a week later, everyone started tagging me in news that a meteor is coming to crash on Earth. Yeah. Yeah. You also said year of sandwiches and then there was a bread shortage. Like, just stop it.

2023, year of smiles. That's it. No. Why are you doing that? Why? Oh, because. Oh, now we're all going to frown. What are you talking about? Oh, okay. The year of frown's it no why are you doing that why oh because we're all gonna frown what are you talking about okay the year of frowns stop it stop it right now you said you weren't gonna say anymore and now you just keep doing it wave your wand around please

thank you 2023 will be a year the end the end it's gonna be a month i um i don't know a month what i don't know i don't know i feel like saying a year jinx it in some other way just stop saying anything it's impossible i'm trying right now i'm trying so hard it's really look you can't give me a podcast and a microphone and then say, don't say anything. I just keep going. I can't stop it. You're right. It's my fault.

All right. Well, good luck to everybody. If everyone who's traveling home for the holidays, if you have a particularly silly family member you have to deal with, I hope you're all handling it well. I hope the New Year's treats you right and you get that kiss you've been wanting. Or if you don't want kisses, I hope you're all handling it well. I hope the new year's treats you right. And you get that kiss you've been wanting, or if you don't want kisses, I hope you don't get a kiss. And I hope everyone has a good 2023.

We'll see you there. Sounds good. In the future. Love past Christine and past Em. How romantic. And that's why we drink.