And That's Why We Drink - Listener Stories: Vol. 86

Episode Date: December 1, 2023

Christmas time is here and we're ghosts of the Victorian, dust-bowl children in the tintype photos mysteriously mailed to Christine! Put on a crackling fire (or crackling fireplace video) and settle in for some holiday surprises because we've got some doozies. First up, Eva gives Christine the gift of reading the first three stories that shed some very elucidating light on said stack of haphazard photos, including the mysterious and potentially haunted mailer herself. Then Em gets their turn at a gift in the form of a tell-all direct from a Duggars-adjacent listener. And then all hell breaks loose with the scary, festive stories - everything from lime green ghost priests reading their last rights to eerily realistic dreams of underworlds hidden in the floorboards and finally all the way to heartwarming doggie Secret Santas. Hasafwa Holidays to all and to all a Hasafwa Holidays! ...and that's why we drink!We're going back on tour! Don't miss us in Philly, DC and Baltimore to kick off our 2024 run of live shows in January - get your tickets at andthatswhywedrink.com/live

Christmas time is here What was his name again? Clarence? The Peanut? What? Charlie Brown? Clarence Brown? No, clarence the peanuts what charlie brown clarence brown no charles brown chad brown chucky chuck good old chuck uh no the one fuck i'm now i'm losing my mind the sim our sim oh chauncey bliss chauncey bliss duh who is do the music again Bliss? Do the music again. Do the music again and I'll introduce the episode.

Christmas time Welcome to, and that's why we drink, December listeners episode where we read your creepy stories. Hey, welcome to the show. There should be a crackling fire underneath all this because

this is the holiday spectacular welcome to december's the last listener episode of 2023 good can you believe hey can you believe it i i can't believe it because i feel like i just got used to it being 2023 and now i have to write a whole new digit when i'm signing things i'm like it can't be november but now it's december um i bet if we listen to every episode like we do this every year we probably every year go can you believe it and then it's realistically what year does it feel like ignore what time is when you me yeah 2021 it still feels like around there for me too right it feels like we kind of went into covid and then it's like just kind of time like froze almost and nothing else sort of like time just stopped working it feels

like the clock broke you know yeah i mean we all kept saying we felt like it was a glitch in the system or something but it does feel like we just were still in. I feel like I'm unconscious. And when I wake up, it'll still be 2021. That's exactly it. And I've just been in a two year dream. What a time to be in a dream, to keep working in said dream and, you know, and still needing like constant therapy. Yeah. Taking constant medication. Therapy in your coma. Yeah. That's pretty on brand for us i think um anyway everybody welcome to the show today i have a special surprise which is that eva gave me a special surprise and said i get to read the first three stories all by myself

i don't know what's going on maybe i've just it's clearly that i don't know how to read and so now we're just christine's taking the reins i don't know how to read and so now we're just christine's taking the reins i don't know what you didn't want you to feel that way about it but i guess if you're the one bringing it up no uh that is not what it's about i promise it's because um i have with me today as i always have with me my dignity oh my god no i lost that a long time ago um i have my dust bowl survivors oops my cowboy children like all of my victorian photographs um here with me and eva said um the first three stories are in relation to that so i said oh oh my god i don't imagine if three of them emailed you i'm a dust bowl survivor and it is not okay for you to make fun of us. I'm one of

the little cowboy kids that lives in your closet and I've been listening to you. I can hear everything you're saying about me and my I don't know how else to get to you because you can't hear my voice but maybe you'll see this Maybe you can read my typing I am the

woman with the hat and I need you to stop talking about my hat. I am the hat and honestly I am the woman with the hat and I need you to stop talking about my hat I am the hat and I am the hat I am the star you were right thank you for the validation you were right and keep talking about me um okay so here's the first one this is called oh by the way if you're new here sorry also this is where we read listener submission submitted stories um that's why it's called a listener's episode you nailed it and also what are you drinking on on your last listener's episode of and that's why you're asking i'm drinking a body armor because when i was breastfeeding i got kind of into these and then

i had to take a break because i was like i don't even want to look at those anymore but then now i'm kind of back into it what are you doing is it meant for for no it's just like it has coconut water and stuff so it's like hydrating but it's like tastier than just drinking water you know and it has some sugar in it um i don't know if it does anything but like i feel like when you're breastfeeding you're not really sure you're not sleeping anything that a listicle says to do you're like okay i'll eat cookies and drink yep strawberry juice like fine um i'm drinking a cream soda oh and with that let's crack into it okay that was really delightful actually that was like a perfect crack it open can you hear it sizzle that's actually the

fireplace you were talking about earlier that's perfect i'm gonna need you to hold that there the entire show i was gonna say editor editor can you please um can you isolate that ambiance and put it underneath the entire track thank you so much just uh enhance enhance okay let's hear it let's hear let's hear your first of a trilogy please and i gotta be honest like i have no idea what that means i know it's about the pictures i'm like what do you mean is it the hat i don't know we'll find out so we'll find out together this came from lindsey it says hello it's me i'm the problem it's me hey girl i just began episode 352 where em and christine talk about the box of hundreds of pictures christine received i sent them holy shit lindsey i knew your name started with an L. I don't remember if I said that in the episode, but I was like, it was like Lane or Lucy. Within the first sentence, we've cracked the case.

Hilarious. We came in right at the end of the year. We figured it out. I love that they started with, I'm the problem, it's me. Yes, you are correct. Now it makes more sense. It makes sense, doesn't it now? I get it. I sent them, I'm sorry. I live in Indiana and because most of the photographs were local-ish, yes you are correct now it makes more sense it makes sense doesn't it now i get it uh i sent them i'm sorry i live in indiana and because most of the photographs were local ish i sent them to christine a little background i started collecting these photos from antique stores as a child whoa because they intrigued me and kept on collecting over the years i estimated about 800 worth over the past few years i would hang six or so in frames on the wall to display my collection

and rotate them out every so often that's what i was thinking of doing fun my husband accidentally knocked one frame off the wall uh-oh a picture of a man and paranormal activity spiked wait okay why do people do this to us which man now i have to figure out which man. Is it the hat? Wait, also, wait. So as soon as things go wrong, you get rid of your $800 haunted collection and give it to someone else. I love that. You're like, you know what? It's been real. I've had them long enough. Okay. It says nothing sinister though. Fast forward to early 2023 when I was putting my baby back to bed after waking up in the middle of the night. He had a death grip on me while I was putting him in his crib. I've always been able to sense spirits and I now knew he could as well. He was over a year old and still hadn't slept through

the night. My husband suggested it was because of those pictures and that I remove them. I took them down the next day and from that night in March, he has slept through the night ever since. Great. Now your baby will never sleep again, Christine. Great. Wait a minute. Leona hasn't been sleeping as well as usual. I didn't want to get rid of them, but knew I had to and also knew I had to do so carefully. I listed them on Etsy, but no hits.

I listed them on eBay and was instantly banned for putting the eBay community at risk. What the hell? What the hell? I feel like eBay loves haunted shit. They're all about that shit. That's not fair. I'm an avid listener and your podcast came to mind as to where I should send them.

I debated on who but decided with Christine. I love how she's like, I debated sending them to Em. I'm like, you shouldn't have even had the thought. You made a good call. Your beautiful collection would have been gone in like seconds. Now knowing it was valued at $800, I would have felt like a piece of garbage that they would have been in the garbage. That's what made you feel like a piece of garbage?

Not that she's collected these since she was a child and they're all meaningful? Okay. Well, I don't know the price of anything. Now to find out it's like nearly $1,000, I would have felt extra bad. Well, I think what she's saying is she estimated that she had spent about $800 dollars worth of on these over the years i know but that's to me that right so yes that is that's a lot of value yes it's a lot of money um she was the winner christine was the winner great as far as i'm being haunted i feel there is a strong likelihood it's the one you showed uh-oh on the episode and called walter are you kidding? That that the energy is crazy if that's the case. That's

crazy. Okay. Or potentially the one lone woman who may be missing her right arm. Oh, what? There's one in there without an arm. I haven't even looked at all of them yet. You know, like I looked at them with you. I haven't gone through every single one. Oh my god god and then my favorite part is that it says sorry i didn't leave a note good luck lindsey i honestly lindsey i feel like we want like i want to blame you for this but also part of me thinks when you're figuring out where to send them i feel like my like astral spirit was like send them to me send me send christine like hey and mine was like send it to christine send it to christine don't send it send it to Christine yeah that must be it so um I feel like the universe was like send them to Christine and honestly Lindsay I've grown so attached to them I love them so much a few people have sent in

saying like can you send them to me and I'm like no I like them I want to keep them and you gotta find the one without an arm and you have to hang you have to hang up hat girl i love hat girl i do too i i'm glad i finally know where they're from because i feel like now i can kind of approach it you know i'm like oh okay now i feel like this was sent with love and not like a curse or something any of them had any names we could do a little okay i was gonna say on ancestry yeah my skills and your skills together we could write a narrative well like my pal stephanie on instagram posted like hey i'm not kidding please like send them to me i do like basically what she said was i do this a lot like i go get photos from antique stores and i post them on the right family trees so that people can like and then i can mail

them if they like reach out i can mail them the hard copy and i was like what a noble pursuit but also i'm so conflicted because i'm like well maybe i can try that i mean i don't have the skills i'm sure stephanie technically could you just take a picture of each one just send them to her and be like well here's your own copy of them here you go here's the i'm gonna scan these i'm gonna fax these to you i'm gonna fax you a tin type to look. No. And so I feel bad because I haven't responded to Stephanie, but I'm like, I'm trying to

figure out. And now I feel like since Lindsay has collected these over her whole lifetime, I don't really want to just like, I mean, at least they would be in safe hands. I don't know. I'm just going to hold on to them for now until I kind of have a better plan. But I guess I should read story number two now that Lindsayindsey has been outed as the problem okay so it looks like the rest the last two stories here are like um because i asked people to tell me what to do with the picture so it looks like people are submitting some potential plans this one says uh this is from Ash, she, her, hers.

And it says, hi, ATWWD friends. I listened to your new episode 352 today. Oh, by the way, if you're wondering about these photographs, it's episode 352 that we discussed them. And wanted to reach out with a suggestion for your photos. My mom is a professional genealogist who works for free. She sees genealogy as a religious calling and spends hours every day researching people's families and trying to return vintage ebay family photos and

bibles back to the correct families like that's what stephanie was saying fun story whenever my sister and i brought a new love interest home growing up we would do everything in our power to keep our mom from learning their last name that's literally is leona in the chat right now like she's gonna say about you one day yeah for sure this is because my mom would immediately research 10 generations of the person's family and it took her 15 minutes once to locate an ancestor that my sister's boyfriend's family had been searching for for 20 years holy shit my mom is also contracted for the fbi to locate folks in this way whoa anyway i imagine if you're able to scan okay that's what you said scan the fronts and backs of the photo my mom may be able to help return them to the

proper descendants you won't even have to mail them or anything between you and me my mom has a lot of free time between you and me okay between you and all of us your mom has a lot of free time between you and me okay between you and all of us your mom has a lot of free time and loves to do this work so don't feel bad well i don't have a lot of free time and i also love to do that so like don't worry i don't judge at all um so don't feel bad for capitalizing on that she told us once as kids that she loves her dead ancestors just as much as her living children though we always knew better and then sent her contact info i love that ash i might actually i might actually use that contact info because i'm still trying to figure out my own family stuff i will say too like stephanie posted and by the way if em and christine if you ever

need like it sounds like she does this like very same kind of thing like very almost professional level and um i was like yes stephanie i do need help please um so because i want to learn more about my house and i haven't been able to find anyone to like help me right track trace back so yeah here we have a couple people now who are able to help us this one says uh let's see from i don't want to say their name because i they didn't sign it. So I'm just gonna say it's from K, letter K. Hi, Christine. I'm an Eva. I'm just watching today's episode where Christine is showing off her strange collection of old

photographs, which is my favorite thing ever. I have a degree in collections management. OK, like what are these people? You guys are like the most interesting people I've ever met. I feel like you accidentally tapped into like an industry where everyone's like this is my moment i'm gonna like wait what i didn't know we all we had to do was show like a lady in her hat let me just start showing weird things and people see what see who like pops out of the woodwork that would be that would be a fun podcast

if we just hand a random listener an item, just a random item, and then a week later they come back and tell us everything they found on it. We just say, go and see what happens. We'll see you later. You do all the work. We'll host it. We just sit here. Yeah.

If Christine plans on keeping them or some of them, there are archival kits online that will be perfect for storing them. If she wanted to donate them to a historical society, maybe sort through the Cincinnati ones or if they're kentucky ones and see if they would be interested in them i would offer to take them in but i think they are best in her hands lol i appreciate that thank you she's like i don't she's like i know better i know christine's never mailing these to me well also i don't want them like i probably like i don't know i don't want them and also k has probably are oh sorry

katherine did sign it i just it was probably are oh sorry katherine did sign it i just it was in between some links katherine did sign it um so katherine already heard lindsey say oh yeah like ghost activity spiked so katherine i think you made the right choice not requesting the photographs um i would offer to take them but i think they're best in her hands lol i've put some links down below for the archival kits these are albums and these are boxes and kits okay this is fucking great i'm so thankful and that way you can preserve them christine yes exactly because honestly i feel i just was feeling bad because they were like in a hafizard pile over there and i thought like well i don't want them to get like more damaged you know can i Can I say ignore everything that everyone has said so far and give you my idea?

If you must. So I think maybe you should, we should come together, you and I, and create like a really, really like, here's the situation. I would like Leona at like 14 to climb into the attic and find these and think that she's discovered a mystery so like i'm thinking like put them in an archival kit so they're preserved but like also put that box and like a locked like a safe box or something and put like do not touch do not touch a teenager she can be like oh let me open this and honestly that'll probably keep her out of other trouble if i'm like i'll set up some rules for you to break so you don't have to

go out of your way that's top tier parenting it's like i don't want you to do drugs so i'm going to create a like a 15 year old escape room mystery and that will really keep you occupied and you just like chain it up and like put like maybe a lit candle next to it or something yeah i'll light a candle over and over so that like by the time she finds it it's like the wax has all kind of congealed it looks really creepy and then just like like maybe like a like a random note and it says like the last person to ever see this like something i don't know like just give her an adventure you know maybe i'll put them in my will just in case if something ever happens to me and i'll be like these are for m and m has to

keep them all safe i'll commit to the safe box idea i won't hold on to them myself but i will put them in an attic near your child for sure i can promise you that thanks in fact they're already in an attic near my child but thank you so much for your help um but thanks m for your input is what i'll say and for everyone else it's always needed genuinely thank you for your input and that one i actually mean so um appreciate it i appreciate it and i feel so much more enlightened about these photographs now lindsey thank you for sending them but also not thank you and also like i still don't forgive you for sending them in the creepiest way with no note because like what were you thinking don't forgive you for sending them in the creepiest way with no note because like what were you thinking but also you should have sent them in a safe box

you should have sent it honestly you were really melted candle all over it and a note that said whatever you do don't open because then christine would have like been obsessed somebody out there can you send christine something in a lock box with a sign that says do not open and don't leave a note no don't do that i get really freaked out okay I will say Lindsay you really were brave to just send these with no note because I think if you had said like I collected these since I was a child I would have probably been like much more careful and like I mean I've been careful with them but like if you sent them to M without a note they'd probably be gone so I'm I'm very impressed that you were brazen enough to

just send them with no note and hope that they ended up in good hands but you were right i'm really um i really love them and i'm attached to them so that's yeah you definitely made the right call yeah i think so does she have both arms do we know uh you know it's looking like that's a yes on this one so you know it'd be fun if you splayed them out upside down and then you pulled them like tarot cards? Do a spread. Do a little spread. Okay. I love that idea.

Okay. Anyway. Anyway. My turn finally. You can talk now. Well, if mine is like my if my note is like or my letter that I'm about to read, if it says something like i have i have something i'm sending to christine it is more pictures of more dead people are you in or out and i would be in to help you get them and i mean honestly i'm i'm in like honestly at this point i'm kind of loving this

adventure for me and i'm loving that everyone is so kind and supportive and helpful and like listen maybe i'll start collecting these i am deeply enchanted by them i could see after the podcast you becoming a curator yeah of like an oddity antique shop where with all the things that people sent you over the years and now you're like giving back them all i know you do yes you know well as you need a big ass house to put all of it. I did and I have my attic now filled with creepy stuff. Okay, here's mine. Okay, mine is better. Okay, here we go.

Ready? What is it? The subject line. First of all, the person who sent it, their name is Bandit. Okay, amazing. I love that for you. And the subject line is Josh D duggar and his rehab center so my dopamine is rising yeah so eva nailed it thanks eva i get it now for the holiday presents

this is a gift uh okay it says hey christine and then eva i'm using a fake name okay bandit i see and it's a fake name no way i don't know i didn't know if this was like from like your neck of the woods in kentucky so it could very well be or like a dog maybe i had a dog named bandit anyway that's probably why i had a um stuffed panda named bandit it's a great name it is a great name and i okay anyway okay i'm using a fake name in case uh if anyone from the church listens i'm sorry is someone from josh duggar's church listening to us and stop that's scary i have i need to take more of a pranolol. Oh, my God. Okay. If anyone from the church listens, which I doubt since it probably goes against their

beliefs. Okay. This may be a long one, but I think you'll enjoy this. My dad's side of the family is part of North Love Church, and we are kind of a big name in the church. We're kind of a big deal. Oh, my God. I'm having like full palpitations.

I don't even know what that is. Is that a thing you know? I don't know about the church, but to be a big name in a church. Oh, yeah. No, no. That's crazy. For example, they built a room on the church and dedicated it to my grandpa when he passed. Whoa.

Oh, so they're a big name in the church. I'm sorry. I understand now. Okay. Yes, family. Got it. North Love or its rehab program, Reformers Unanimous, is the church program that glorified that they had cured Josh Duggar from his evil ways.

God's sake. Okay. My dad is the black sheep of the family. It sounds like you are, Bandit, but okay. Bandit, I have a literal panda named bandit so i think if you're reaching out to a show called and that's why we drink after your grandpa was dedicated a room at your church okay we know my dad is the black sheep of the family because he rebelled against the church so growing up my sister and i weren't a part of that world i see but the rest

of my dad's side is still fully in it my cousins all seven of them from one uncle and aunt uh they couldn't watch tv unless it was sports and the tv was hidden in the closet in their parents room the woman couldn't wear pants and it was either skirts or culottes culottes uh culottes i think it's culottes i think uh my aunt sewed most of their clothes for them they grocery shopped within the church's co-op my aunt also homeschooled the kids while my uncle would be working because the man had to do the work after they finished first grade or so they would go to the church's school till they graduated to go to college the men would actually go to college to further their education while the women went to find a husband.

Wow. Cool. Different life than me. Cool, cool, cool. Then when they got married, the pastor of the church, Paul Kingsbury, would go on an hour-long tangent about how the woman had to submit to the man and fulfill all of his needs and wants. Disgusting. fulfill all of his needs and wants. Disgusting.

My favorite thing when it came to our families coming together is that my mom is the one who held our immediate family together. So my uncle would have to talk to my mom about any plans. My mother told me she would aim for my uncle to make what she called the know-your-place woman face. Just to piss him off one of the most vivid memories at the church was attending one of my cousin's graduations they had a preacher who worked at reformers unanimous there he was talking about how he turned 16 and bought a car he looked into the crowd and said and do you know what was in that car? A radio. And the whole church gasped in horror.

And I sat there confused. He continued on saying that because of his radio, he turned to drugs and alcohol all due to the evil living in it. Oh, for God's sake. Oh, because of the devil living in it. I'm sorry. The devil's in his car. Okay. Oh, shit.

That sounds like a story for us to read. in his car okay oh shit um which is like a story for us to read that is a dugger thing too that to hear anything with drums uh channels the devil so seriously even christian rock is supposed to be like the devil trying to tempt you away because it sounds enough like real rock that you're gonna trick you sure yeah yeah yeah okay um so you're only allowed to listen to like really like like orchestra gospel essentially that's like the only music you can listen to and like church hands and stuff so listening to the duggar episode recently i was like holy shit this sounds really familiar then the next day out of the blue my mom mentioned josh duggar and how he went to the church for rehab. And I knew I had to write in because there has been some scandals within the church now.

You don't say. You're having a moment. Apparently, Reformers Unanimous was a bunch of bull and really didn't do anything for rehab besides manual labor and reading Bible verses. Plus, it was full of people who were child abusers and the program didn't really do anything to keep them away from children. Sure. Sound familiar? Excellent. child abusers and the program didn't really do anything to keep them away from children sure sound familiar excellent then pastor kingsbury who founded this program he was

abusing and grooming allegedly more than 20 women have come forward about this that's bad the church tried to bury this with his resignation and leave it at that kingsbury says he's innocent and nothing happened. Here is his direct quote. There is nothing, nothing that has gone on in the ministry or has gone on all these years that has ever been just put under a proverbial rug. If you lift the rug, it's clean under there. Okay. Okay. He's always had such a bad vibe to him so reading that quote the first time really gave me the creeps i could go on with more stories about living that close to basically a cult but i'll leave it there i hope you enjoyed this little bit of tea bandit and then it says gemini's unite

we knew you were a gemini there's no doubt like we should have known. I have gossip. Guess who I am. Wow. Wow. Wow. For a second, I thought we were like, there was an update about Josh Duggar in prison or something. I was like, what? We got to turn on our Google alerts. Turn on your radio. Oh, no, I would never.

That's danger zone. The devil's territory. Yes. The devil's territory. Okay. Wow. Okay. danger zone the devil's territory yes the devil's territory uh okay wow okay so here i have one now called the ghost priest in my home oh for god's sake that's a little too scary for me this is from tyler he him uh and it says hi that's why we drink team i'm tyler he him and i've been listening for a year now with my girlfriend often in the car and while cooking dinner we love the banter and enjoy hearing what you have all been up to.

Now, here's my story. I grew up in a small town in northern Wisconsin. My parents' home was a third house built in my entire hometown and was constructed in 1899 for the local priest. That's like my mom's house was built for the, like was bought by the Catholic Church and an archbishop lived there or something. It sounds like, yeah, and the pastor or the priest was like one of three people in your entire town that's wild i guess they starting off a town they're like we need a priest and that's it yep we need two people to go to church and

what more could you ask for yeah okay it is our understanding that the first priest lived here until it was sold in the 1920s to a local family when the priest occupied the house funerals were held in the main entryway oh god okay this fueled the creepy vibes throughout the house but especially in the basement we were told that during the winter months when the ground was frozen and the mausoleum was full bodies of the recently deceased were stored down there in the basement oh boy girl girl we have the original blueprints that one of the lumberjacks put together when they began digging out the foundation the basement is shown as a perfect rectangle in the drawings but this is not the reality one of the corners of the room is walled off in an eight foot by eight foot square goodbye guess what no thanks ew i have goose kim yuck when my father pointed this out to the realtor

the story is that the lumberjacks uncovered a huge rock in that spot and since they did not have the heavy machinery we do today decided it wasn't worth the effort to remove the rock and built around it. While this could be true, my friends often claim that behind the walls is the body of the priest who once lived in the house. I look, I'm an area. We're like, yeah, guess what? That's not a rock. That's a dead body. Yeah, for sure.

For sure. I'd be like that the rock is a bullshit story and you know it you know what the rock really means right in lumberjack speak it means dead priest okay exactly another odd fact about the basement is the door my mom loves the doors she adores she adores them i don't think that he even realized that he made that pun she's constantly reminding us that they're original this sounds like my mother also and over 100 years old she refuses to replace the doors or the door handles even though some have stopped working altogether yeah we never had doors that worked at my mom's house the

door to the basement always seemed odd it came with a deadbolt lock but on the first floor side which means the lock was installed to keep someone or something in the basement this is literally your house don't you have locks on the inside of the doors uh at your mom's house um yes that is true yeah this is so far um true yes this is it's so far it's all adding up i think i've been in this house actually yeah i'm like wait a second is this my brother who's emailing this um this seems really familiar uh there are no other entrances to the basement save a very small window so there's no rational explanation as to why a lock would be necessary in 2014 i came back from college for winter break one night i went to sleep in my childhood bed and was awoken by someone saying my name.

I woke up a little bit freaked out, told myself it was only a dream, and tried to go back to sleep. But I couldn't shake an uneasy feeling. I finally opened my eyes to a, this is a new one, lime green figure standing at the end of my bed. Lime green? Lime green. Okay. It was Gumby. Is it like one of the aliens from Toy Story?

Yeah, that's the only other thing I could imagine. Okay, sorry to joke because then Tyler says, the figure was a man with sunken eyes. Oh, shit. It was salad fingers or something. Oh, poor Tyler is like, I was scared and you guys are making fun of me when we're scared we react with jokes that's this is our defense mechanism we're not making you imagine though if if tyler had the courage to look at that creature and go okay salad fingers okay nice try you're not even relevant anymore it's 2014 go back to youtube okay go back to 2005 uh the figure had no discernible features other than

the glowing green skin i quickly learned that my flight fight freeze response is freeze yep isn't that fun when we learn what as it's happening yes yeah you're like oh that's interesting it's like oh i guess i just don't move or function oh i guess i'm paralyzed uh i couldn't move or look away from the figure at the end of my bed the figure leaned forward towards me i could feel it set a hand on my leg and continue to climb onto the bed girl no get out this is like i know i know you're frozen i know you can't do anything about it but get the fuck out i know that you're reacting in the only way your body and uh nervous system know how but don't do it that way do it a different way but you're wrong but you're wrong

okay this gets worse believe it or not okay because it says at this point now imagine it's holding onto his leg and is climbing into his bed and at this point the figure begins speaking i know why is that so much scarier i don't know uh it says in a voice that sounded something like someone ew attempting to mimic an old-timey creepy witch voice i heard the apparition whisper oh god i'm sorry i'm scared okay i heard the apparition whisper our father who art in heaven girl no this is not real that's just not the truth i hate to break it to you but that didn't happen didn't happen oh my god at this point the figure reached a hand toward my face and just as the

apparition touched my face i heard it conclude its prayer hallowed be thy name oh my god the figure's hand didn't touch my face but seemed to go through me i can feel it oh i can't believe it's still happening like you'd think if this was just like a dream or whatever that you would have shaken out of it by now you know but like it's still going also if it's in your face like where's where's a good place for it to be in your face like in your mouth are you tasting this thing is's in your face like where's where's a good place for it to be in your face like in your mouth are you tasting this thing is it in your eyeball is in your brain is in your ear tickling around in the brain freeze when it went through your head that sounds stupid but it wasn't wet i feel like this finger was wet it was very green like and glowing it sounds like it would be wet like

moldy or something um damp indeed uh okay the figure's hand didn't touch my face but seemed to go through me i could feel a burst of cold air hit my face just as the figure's hand did as quickly as it appeared the figure was gone okay this is traumatizing i know that we tell like ghost stories this isn't even that's why we drink anymore this is like out of control this isn't josh duggar this isn't your little pictures this is crazy this is traumatic i was left alone in my bedroom confused and terrified it took a few minutes but i was able to calm myself down and remind myself that ghosts aren't real yeah i mean that looked real and felt real but it had to be a dream sleep paralysis that's it has to be right i told myself this was just some weird dream or sleep disorder and didn't tell anyone

what I saw that night. Over winter break, I worked mornings at the local grocery store. A few weeks had passed since my midnight visitor, that's one way to put it, and I got up at my usual 5 a.m. to get ready to head to work. When I went downstairs, I found my older brother awake and watching TV. I asked why he was awake at this ungodly hour and he looked at me and said, this is going to sound absolutely crazy, but i saw a ghost in my bedroom oh my god and then tyler says i froze which i to which i say again okay uh i froze my mind was spinning i asked him to describe what he saw holy shit sorry here's the brother's description of what he saw it was a lime green figure standing at the end of my bed it reached up and touched me on the nose but you know the scariest part of all the

whole time i could hear it whispering the our father roll out pack your bags we're gone out no time to pack your bags we're out grab. Grab a go bag. What does that even mean? And like. It's a horrible. Because it also it's like a combination of ghosts and alien because I've never heard anything in the realm of paranormal that's green, let alone lime green. What about ectoplasm? Isn't that green?

Yeah, but ectoplasm isn't alive. Well, I know. I'm just like trying to like equate it to something i don't know but also for something to be able to speak one speak english to to know our prayer okay but i think it's the priest why is he lime green well that part i don't know he spent too much time in that multi-basement putting his fingers all over people's faces okay but see i have a guess about it. Well, let me read the rest of the story in case it comes up,

but I have a guess about what's happening. My brain tried to rationalize what I was hearing. My brother had to be messing with me, right? But I didn't tell anyone about what I saw that night, and there was no way this was a coincidence. Maybe we both recently watched a movie that planted the idea in our subconscious. That had to be it.

But even if that's true, my brother isn't the prank type he's been described as quote a man without a sense of humor oh nice sounds like a real class act it's really funny to me what if he was like by me i describe him that way right right right um pulling a prank or joke like this would be very out of character for him he also looked absolutely terrified sitting in the living room with all the lights on and the tv playing at 5 a.m i walked away from him without saying anything it's hard to describe how i felt at that moment all i knew was that i had to leave the house as quickly as i could it's been eight years without a sighting of the figure my brother and i saw standing at the end of our beds is it all a crazy coincidence or were we visited by the spirit of the house's original owner whose body still rests in the corner of the basement maybe that's why he's green i'm like not

even kidding like maybe he's just been in that mildewy basement you know so it is damp it's very damp uh p.s my mom also believes their cabin is haunted and claims she saw a bigfoot and felt a ghost all in the same night but that's a story for another time wow wow okay here's what i think which again like what do i know nothing but here's my theory a priest doing last rites on someone i'm pretty sure that is like what they would say like they would and they would put their hand yeah and they would say i think i mean i haven't had that happen to me thankfully but i i'm pretty sure that's like the catholic but okay but why is he putting his hand on your knee and crawling up onto the bed okay that part good point good point and why is he if it was really just a residual haunting i would imagine it keeps happening in the exact same spot of the house not going into different rooms and recognizing when someone's awake to interact with them and saying their name i just you know what it's one of those things where i don't need to know the

answer all i need to know is that it's time to leave that's i like how i'm like i'm just gonna sit here in the house in the haunted house and figure it out you're like no i'm like i'm for that i've seen what I've needed to see. It's time. It's best we call U-Haul and just let them handle it from here. I am curious, like maybe it's like, because there's also like anointing of the sick. Like, I don't know.

Maybe it's some sort of weird twisted version of like a sacrament he used to perform. You know, like maybe it's some- I mean, that's the most logical thing I could figure. Yeah don't know though like i don't really know how that i mean again like you said why would he be climbing the bed i don't know that's fucking horrifying and also like i'm very sorry because that is very scary tyler and i know we laughed but i would be petrified so i would be laughing as it was happening i think out of complete shock i'd be like this can't be happening yeah um well say it with me thanks priest thanks priest oh my god i didn't even i didn't even cross my mind yes thanks priest all right i've got one that should be less

scary i hope although it is titled beneath the floorboards um okay that can't be anything good and this is from britney who's a she her pronouns thank you for normalizing pronouns and it says hello all i just moved in with my girlfriend okay okay and see it's all right tyler let me say what tyler tyler if you're gay please weigh in with his girlfriend oh straight oh heteronormative yeah uh hello all i just can't get a fucking break we never have men right in and now i'm like putting him on blast tyler i know you can handle it because you handle a lot worse when that priest climbed into your bed tyler already turned the volume down and unsubscribed from us tyler's like we're never listening to this bullshit again yeah i don't blame hello all i just moved in with my girlfriend and best believe i asked if this old

ass house was haunted before i moved in she said no and i don't know if she didn't notice or she didn't want to be alone in this or what but i may have to cut her loose no longer gay. Yay. Yay. Straight. It says, just kidding. I have noticed little things like creaky floors and strange shadows along with just the feeling of not being alone when I was the only one in the house. I used to live in an apartment, so I would naturally dismiss the sounds of footsteps upstairs. But now I have to remind myself there is no upstairs. So what the heck was that?

I hate that. Ew. There's no upstairs? So what the heck was that? I hate that. Ew, there's no upstairs? And you just hear sounds upstairs. Ew. Okay. One night I had this terrible nightmare where I was in this old kitchen with people I didn't know just talking and whatnot. Then I started noticing that there were keyholes in the wall and they were numbered. Huh?

Either our brains are wild or i mean that feel that feels like it's planted there's there's no way a brain can just conjure that up to me and but then i mean that is totally something a brain could conjure but i just refuse to believe it i've read a few uh of my dream that i write down in my notes app sometimes and i'm like what the fuck was I on? You know, like, I don't know. I feel like our brains are pretty crazy, but continue. Okay. There were keyholes in the wall and they were numbered.

I was about to ask what they were when the guy to my right handed me a funky looking key. I put it in the first keyhole and turned it then weird stuff started happening started okay each key would initiate some kind of horrible trial that was centered around one individual in the group this is a horror movie this is a very scary dream i don't like it this is saw this feels like saw but all we had okay so a horrible trial that was centered around an individual but all we had kafka story like genuinely i okay but we all had to finish the trail in order to get to the next key the trial maybe the trial yeah uh so we finally get to the 10th keyhole when we turn the key i start falling backwards and when i was supposed to hit the

ground i actually went through the floor to some kind of sunken place where i couldn't move and i was being tortured by spirits what the fuck is happening it was terrifying and once i was done being tortured i woke up in the dream back in the old house and had an 11th key in my hand. And Em was outside honking the U-Haul like, come on, get out of there. My body was shaking because of how scared I was. And others were like, let's stop playing the game for now since it's really taking a toll on us what a fun game this is saw you're right um like what the fuck the game i know my body was shaking i and others were like let's stop playing the game for now um and i was like what we can we can stop

doing all this shit with the keys like finally realizing like we could have just never done any of this we we could stop doing all this shit with the keys why didn't we stop earlier anyway i woke up in real life and started getting dressed for work kissed my girlfriend goodbye and then was alone in the house i'm sitting at my vanity when i hear and feel several knocks underneath the hardwood floor directly beneath my feet no it had to have been six or seven hard and rapid knocks it wasn't my girlfriend because i had her send me a picture of her in her classroom to rule her out prove that you're not here oh god either someone is living in the basement or something from the sunken place found me in real life what the fuck anywho that's why i drink uh copious amounts of cheap boxed wine i've been listening for years and you and if you made it this far thank you for reading britney

that's wild the fact that like even if there's not actually something in the sunken place maybe there's something that like knew what you were dreaming and just it's almost like parallel yes it like paralleled the experience to scare me if blaze were here he would say pipes but i but like it was someone from her dream for sure one thousand percent one thousand percent it's just like what are the odds you wake up you're home alone and then like remember this bang bang bang bang bang oh i have been in places where i have just like perpetual horrible nightmares that don't feel like my own dreams and like i remember thinking like this fucking place has bad energy that's why i'm having these dreams so i mean maybe that's something to do with it or like maybe you, maybe you're reliving, like, a residual haunting.

Like, maybe someone did die in the basement. Or maybe someone did die under the foundation. Ooh, what if they're trying to send you a message? Ugh. Woof. Leave me alone. It'd be really crazy if she woke up and all of a sudden there was a 12th key. Oh, what if she found a key on the vanity?

Ooh. Oh, my God. I just just have no time for it thank you here's another story this is called adorable yet haunted christmas teddy bears okay so this is for me definitely thank you eva um it's from zoe she her uh and it says hi guys i love the podcast and i thought you'd enjoy this festive story of mine as the season is fast approaching. Eyeball emoji eyeballs emoji looking over which makes me not trust her immediately. Okay, here is a story. My dad passed away when I was a baby. Oh, no. And over the years, my mom has given me a few things of his to keep and remember him by. That's awful.

I'm sorry about that. One of these things was a trio of festive teddy bear ornaments. They're wearing pajamas and each holding a different Christmas present. I set up my tree. I know. It's really sweet, actually. I set up my tree that year and sat them beneath it. One day I got home from work to find one of them sat on a different table in the living room.

Figuring my boyfriend had moved it, I put it back and carried on carried on a week or so later i found another one had fallen from the table the tree sat on and had rolled across the room we didn't have pets back then so i was annoyed at my boyfriend for knocking them over continuously when he knew they were sentimental you're like those are from my dead dad like stop yeah moving them i'd be like get your hands off it um let's see then a few nights later we were sat in our bedroom when i needed something from the living room so i walked through only to find one of these freaking bears perched perfectly on the back of the sofa facing the christmas tree oh my god and like part of me wants to think like oh it's your dad and yeah right and then it suddenly becomes poltergeisty and you're like wait wait wait

yeah i'm like hang on would dad do this like that's my biggest fear when i die first and i haunt you is you're not going to be able to tell if i'm being an asshole or a poltergeist has entered the chat like i think i'll know i think i'll know it's well like what if i wanted to fuck with you and i just like sent me on upside down like i don't know no what i'm saying is i think i would assume it's option a it's m being an asshole every time i don't think i would even have room to consider poltergeist let's put it this way i'm this is a pinky promise now that give me your fucking pinky well i want to hear what it is first you'll want this i promise give me your okay okay that if i go first and i'm haunting you and i do something wild you'll know it's me if when you say stop i respect your wishes oh okay but if it doesn't stop

you need to fucking call somebody okay so because you'll be okay pinky promise because you'll be over there. Like if I, this one isn't me. Like if I take Leona and just put her upside down, just kind of like swing her around and she's having a good time. And you go, okay, Em, stop. I'll put her right side up for a little bit. But if she keeps being upside down, you're in trouble, girl. Then Em's in the corner going, it wasn't me this time, I swear.

It's the same, yeah. It's this creepy demon over here. I don't know what to tell you. Yeah. Well, then I expect you to kick that demon out of my house. But anyway, we'll talk about this another time. I'll be trying, but I'm only one person. I appreciate that. I'm a new ghost.

I don't know what I'm doing yet, you know? You're holding my child upside down. You're pretty good at it. I'm like, you know, one skill at a time. You're a natural okay all right so this bear is perched perfectly on the back of the sofa facing the christmas tree it had been very deliberately placed there was no way it could have ever been knocked or thrown and landed in that position i love that the first few times it was like look what i'm doing and she's like well

maybe it's just a coincidence and then it's just a coincidence. And then it's like, okay, fine. I'll put it somewhere like impossible. Right. Right. You know, like you have to prove it almost. It had been very deliberately placed. There was no way it could have been knocked or thrown and landed in that position. I walked back to our room and asked my boyfriend why he had put the bear there and that if it was a prank, it wasn't funny. I got really upset and he told me firmly he had not touched or knocked them at all over the last few weeks and had definitely not put it on the sofa. I am not particularly sensitive, but I had had weird feelings and experiences in that flat. And so I stood in the hallway and loudly told whatever it was not to move things and that

it wasn't welcome. The bears never moved again, though I've never put them out in the years since. since looking back i don't know if it was a sign from my dad or another family member or just something messing with me but either way i'm glad it stopped you know that i think um i always think back to what you said of like when you saw your grandpa's apparition after you had passed and you felt like safe even though there's like a man in your room you know and i feel like i feel like if it were your dad you wouldn't be maybe so freaked i don't know but i don't know i don't know yeah i would imagine i guess that's if they're like fully in the room with you i have no idea how it works yeah yeah there there are times when like things happen and i know that

like it's good vibes and there's other times where i know it's bad vibes you know right i guess all you have to do is all you can do is like trust your gut on that. So Zoe says, maybe this year I'll get them out and let you know if they decide to move about again, which obviously I'm going to say do it. And film it. Like keep a running security camera pointed at them. Oh, we could do a live stream. We'll just.

Yeah. Maybe this year get them out. Okay. Hope you enjoyed reading somehow when you type out your most profound experiences they just feel incredibly boring compared to everyone else's zoe no it's not it's not made it on the listeners episode what are you talking about hell yeah the christmas one believe it or not um not that that means anything because we all forgot it was the christmas one before we anyway thank you zoe that is uh creepy i do also wonder if it was a family member like a friendly spirit or like something you gotta start doing yes or no's with that you gotta be like are you my dad and then if and move one but if you're not my dad move two you know or

don't move to the bears oh yeah i also wonder was it one was it one specific bear or was it like three different ones we're all doing different things? Yeah. I'd be like, yes or no, move the bear to the left or move the bear to the right, you know? Yeah. And then I'd be like, shit, which one was left and right? Which one means yes? Wait, my left or your left? Yeah. Right, exactly. Okay. We've got one final one and it sounds like it's going to be a good ender. It's titled My Dog's supernatural secret santa hello okay i'm in i'm on i'm in a spectral jar of peanut butter tennis balls rolling down the hall that would be my nightmare because i

would probably break my ankle but yes that for geo would be just a bunch of dirty socks just it would just and those actually do kind of just appear around the house but that's not really a ghost that's just kind of my bad laundry skills yeah that dog loves a dirty sock he sure does okay uh and this is from uh adrian who uses she her pronouns thank you for normalizing pronouns. Hi, Eva, Em, and Christine. I would like to dedicate this story to the fur babies of And That's Why We Drink. Aw. I love your podcast and have always wanted to write in my numerous paranormal stories.

I decided with the holidays coming up, now would be the time to stop procrastinating and send in a story from last Christmas in case you are looking for festive stories in your episode this year. Yay. Eva was on it. This story revolves around my three beloved huskies. That's so sweet. Named Rainer, Aurora, and Odin. Whoa.

Those are all perfect husky names. Wow. How do you spell Raynor? I know. What is the way you spell it? R-A-Y-N-O-R. Whoa. Raynor.

I was just curious. Before I crack into it, first let me paint the scene. The way my living room is set up, we have an L-shaped sectional that borders the front wall of our house. And it's under a big window at the front of the door. Making a makeshift hallway leading from the door into the house, then ending, opening up to the living room. Okay. Our dogs love to greet all guests by jumping up on the couch and lining up one by one on the part of the sectional that makes that turns the area into a hallway. You know what I mean?

Like when you walk in. It's like you're walking between the wall and the couch sort of. Yes. Okay. And the dogs line up for greetings. That's the cutest thing I've ever heard. Our eldest husky Rainer is known as a woolly husky, which means he has an extra long fluffy coat, making him look particularly wolf-like. They tend to be quite the jump scare for anyone who isn't used to coming over.

And imagine the first thing you see after the door opens is three large wolf-like dogs at eye level right in your face. I was going to say, they're also like elevated to your height now because they're on the couch. level right in your face i was gonna say they're also like elevated to your height because they're on the couch one day last december about a week before christmas my husband and i decided to take a nap after returning home from christmas shopping while i was napping i heard what sounded like two women whispering i figured that i was either in a dreamlike state and imagining the voices or i was hearing two spirits talking to each other. Either way. 50-50. Either way, I couldn't bring myself to be too concerned because I was six months pregnant

and was not about to get up and investigate. Forget it. Side note, a little thing about me is that I'm a witch practitioner and have my own clairsentient abilities. Oh, okay. I didn't read the next part. I have my own clairsentient abilities and have had experiences with spirits throughout my whole life.

Not too much later after hearing the voices, I began to hear some rustling. The sound that most dog owners know as the sound of your dog getting into something they shouldn't be. I mean, like immediately was like, shit. I know. Still, I couldn't be bothered to get up from the warmth of my bed. And we finally finished our nap, and we go out into the living room to see what our mischievous babies have gotten into.

But all we saw was them playing with a stuffed alligator dog toy. Funny enough, while out shopping earlier, one of the toys I'd gotten my dogs as a Christmas present was a stuffed alligator, only I knew I had hidden their toys so they couldn't find them. P puzzled on how they

managed to get the toy out of the closet i hid it in i took the toy from them and realized it wasn't the same stuffed alligator what i thought well this is weird then i saw another toy on the floor that i'd never seen before i asked my husband if i had bought these or if he had bought these and he told me he hadn't. Looking around some more I then find a grocery bag that was tied closed and had been torn open by my dogs with another three dog toys in it. What? All the toys still had tags on them and we were so confused. We knew these toys had not been here before our nap and we thought maybe one of our family members had stopped and dropped them off while we were sleeping the only thing was the front door was locked and now we do have a few family members who have a spare key to our home

but all of them swear up and down that none of them had dropped off the toys my side of the family is full of pranksters and we really thought they were just messing with us to get a little to get us a little paranoid eventually we figured someone would own up to it but no one ever did it's worth noting that neither of us had heard any knocking on the door while we were sleeping. And even if we had slept through it, we wouldn't be able to sleep through the sound of all three huskies howling if someone was at the door. True. You'd know. Huskies are loud.

Huskies are talkers, you know? Almost a year later, and my dog, Secret Santa, still remains a mystery. And I like to think that gifts were brought to them by my late brother who passed away a few years ago. He loved the dogs, and this isn't the first supernatural incident that's happened with the dogs since his passing. On multiple occasions, I've found my dogs let out of their crates when I know their crates were locked. That's me as a ghost. Let them free! And even finding the locking it goes let them free and even finding the lock

the locking system still in place so i know it's not that they were just wiggling it loose i believe my brother i believe my brother likes to come play with them um and thank you for reading my story i'll be sure to write in some more stories another time happy holidays what a fucking story and like for them to be the same type of toys that you got them like it was an alligator and like weird okay can i tell you something like because i don't know if you could tell probably not because you were reading but i had like kind of a reaction when you said that why and i'm like sweating a lot okay why because i recently was reading a book about like signs from your past loved ones by laurel and Jackson, who's like a psychic medium.

And I was reading it and I was like, it said, you know, come up with a specific sign for your loved ones to like show you or whatever. And so I came up with a sign for my grandmother to show me. And I was like, if you are are around can you bring up an alligator shut up dead serious well your grandma says hi apparently the reason I said alligator is because weirdly I couldn't think of a sign I was like I don't know like it has to be specific but also like something memorable you know I just like couldn't come up with something that like made sense and then that night I had a dream that I walked into the dining room of my house and saw a giant stuffed alligator on the table and I woke up and I was like okay I guess stuffed I guess stuffed alligator is my sign and literally when you said stuffed

alligator like my whole body just I went into Tyler's like freeze mode I was like wait what did you just say you and Tyler just sitting on the same bed freaked out about yeah with the priest is just like anyway that just like got me like really wow anyway it's a final Christmas holiday miracle hi Oma uh oh. Oh, my God. Sorry. Eva just texted. I just got a stuffed alligator at the party I went to with my dad this weekend. What? What in the world is going on? I don't have anything about a stuffed alligator. I don't know. Here's my, you're going to like leave the room and be like, what's that plastic bag on the doorknob? Right, right, right. It'll be a bunch of chewed up dog toys. Like slobbery toys.

I wanted to also say that I do have one more sign that for my grandmother that I'm not going to reveal, but maybe it'll come up, you know, in some other future episode. OK, but that's pretty that's pretty wild. So anyway, wow. Well, tell your mom she would like that. Yeah, well, it's my dad's mom. So I'll tell him. But he oh, my God, he was a cute little photo with the stuffed alligator that's adorable um oh anyway i had i had no idea well geez i mean that feels a little uh i don't know how that works how the universe works but

that's super eerie oh you guys should read that book though i. I put it in the newsletter. Like, what do you call it? A recommendation a few months ago. But it's called Signs, I think, by Laura Lynn Jackson. Anyway, it's really like comforting to read. So. Wow. What a tale, dude. There you have it. All right. We do have one more story. This is called A Christmas Ghost Story. What if this is where my other sign comes in? I doubt it. Okay. A Christmas Ghost Story personal. I'm not sure how else to start this. Oh, this is from Abra.

She, her. I'm not sure how else to start this besides saying with no doubt in any of our minds, my mother's house is haunted as fuck. Oh, gosh. Okay. Oh, goodness. Oh, goodness me. Oh, my.

Oh, my, my. My mother's house is haunted as fuck like poltergeist shit. And they've always loved me. Oh, goodness. Oh, goodness me. Oh, my. Oh, my, my. My mother's house is haunted as fuck, like poltergeist shit. And they've always loved me. Oh, no. From the first time we stepped foot into what would be my room, great. We've heard a little girl. But in all the years I lived there, I had never seen her until Christmas 2017. I was the first in my family to be done getting ready a christmas miracle to be honest

uh anyway oh abra i'm sorry to christine like cadabra to m like the pokemon i understand i understand um she her either way okay sorry okay uh anyway i was the first of my family to be done getting ready a christmas miracle to be honest sitting alone downstairs in our living room which displays the staircase prominently something caught my eye there was a little girl sitting on our mf staircase fucking bye bye she didn't seem to notice me at first ew and as i was sitting there trying to figure out if she was real or not, she looked up at me with, in no exaggeration, the biggest eyes I've ever seen. They weren't all black. Shout out black eyed kids. But they were a special kind of dark against her pale skin and long dark hair. Oh, no. Oh, my God.

Oh, no. I would get the same random violent sickness for years after this no matter how healthy i was prior but that feels like a black-eyed kid but only on christmas oh that's extra evil that is pretty that's pretty you're right it does because that is one of the side effects like does they make you like really ill yeah like there was like those stories i did where like all they did was like look through the peephole at one of the black eyed kids and they had like they were diagnosed the next week with like really intense cancer or something like cancer yeah okay um but only on christmas while this really sucked as i love christmas it did get me out of midnight mass a few times. And then it says so slay and it's spelled S-L-E-I-G-H.

Abra is like, we're going to make a good thing out of this. Yeah, I love that for you. But our story doesn't end there. That next year, my partner at the time, Josh, he him, came to live with us for a while. He went across the hall to our bathroom that was equally as unsettling as my bedroom. he came back he looked shook as hell i asked what's the matter and he said i know this sounds crazy but i swear to god i just saw a little girl in your bathroom i asked what she looked like quote she had long dark hair and she was really pale but her eyes dude they were massive okay i had never told him that story i was gonna say but

if you got a boyfriend that's living with you you might want to warn him about that damn house this is like that other couple who was like i asked my girlfriend if it was on and she said no i would be if i moved in lies if allison's house had a little girl that makes you violently ill on holidays i would be like i did not okay it's like that uninformed consent i moved into this damn house and you didn't warn me that it's like that's a lie by omission is what that is called and i'm pretty sure in a court of law i'd be right i'd be like jesus christ like like had i known i would never enjoy Christmas again. I might have not moved in here. Had I known, I'd be vomiting every Christmas. Yeah, forget it.

And then she says, spooky Christmas to all and to all a good night. Abra, like Kadabra, like the Pokemon. Oh, got it. What the fuck? I have to know if the boyfriend started getting violently ill. Oh, great point. Well, I wonder if he saw, but it sounds like he saw her on a different day like not on christmas like i wonder i would girl on christmas i wonder if like that same thing happened to him that day of the year but he just doesn't put it together you know yeah i would

be like go back through your photos and everything figure out a date we gotta keep track of that yeah and then like i know it says your former partner, but like check on that day. Check every year. Hey, how are you feeling today? And honestly, if he did something really fucked up for you to make him your former partner, then maybe the little girl was helping you out. I don't know. Maybe she's like, get the fuck out of here. Who the hell are you? Maybe she was like, I see you with my big fucking eyes.

I don't like what's going on here. I can see you with my giant owl eyes. Whoa. That really does sound like a black-eyed kid sorry yeah it sounds like she's on her way somebody is a black-eyed kid in training she's evolving yeah um in training yeah ouch i wonder who invited her in though like don't they have to be invited in maybe the previous tenant yeah i was gonna say maybe like a previous family member. And that's an interesting philosophy of like if you're a black eyed kid or like a vampire or something, you should be invited in. Does that mean the foundation?

Once you were welcomed on, it's forever? If there's new property owners, do they now need to invite you in? Or is it like you're grandfathered in? Yeah. Or grand black eyed kidded in? I don't know. You get it. Yeah. Interesting. Well well let us know since you let us know um wow all right well i think that's all of our stories so

thank you everybody for sending in stories happy holidays i hope everyone's having a a good december also um i know it's de 1st, so hopefully so far it's going well. A good December, yeah. Don't worry. If you're not, there's still time to make it up. This is also a quick reminder that we are back on tour next month, and that does give me a full-blown panic attack. I suddenly have to use the potty.

I don't like that you said that out loud. I'm going to hang up, and then I'm going to scream into a pillow about it but um you should and you might enjoy it as the audience member so um if you would like to come to one of our apparently northeast shows then you can get yourself some tickets or indianapolis or indianapolis this is your last chance to see on the rocks because when we go back out on tour in the fall it will be a different show so this is your last shot at seeing on the rock so and Canada sorry I'm just thinking of where we're going and um mid mid midwest shows too and that's why we drink