And That's Why We Drink - Listener Stories: Vol. 90

Episode Date: April 1, 2024

Welcome to April Ghouls: Two Boos and a Lie! This year for April Fool's Eva is bringing us some ghoulish energy and we're terrified. She has artisanally, hand selected two listener stories about "ladies in white", written a third herself and challenged Em and Christine to figure out which one is the imposter story. What impending foolishness! Can you pick the fake? ...and that's why we drink!Don't miss our very last On the Rocks live shows in Milwaukee, Minneapolis and Los Angeles!

Hello everyone, it's April 1st. Welcome to our April Fool's episode. I, Eva had the audacity to start speaking to us before I hit record and then brought some really weird energy to the table. So I stopped everything, started recording. Eva, please go ahead with your nonsense now that we're recording you. I hate this. You do that's why I'm doing it. Hello and welcome to April Ghouls. Oh god. Do we celebrate publicly? I celebrate privately so don't speak for me.

Thank you. You're right. You're right. I'm not putting words in anyone's mouth. Only my own. April ghouls, two boos and a lie. Two boos and a lie. Okay.

All right. Okay. Sure. Whatever you say. So what I have done, I have artisanally hand selected to... Artisanally. Artisanally. From to. Artisanally. Artisanally. From farm to.

Locally sourced. To Antacid. Yes, exactly. Direct. From farm to garage band actually. Is an actually pretty good metaphor there. That's beautiful. I actually love that a lot. That's really lovely So yeah, I picked two stories, but there are three stories for you to read today So you have to pick which one I wrote So one of them is a lie that Eva made up. Okay, got it This is gonna be so interesting because Eva reads so many of these emails

I wonder she's probably like adopted the exact tone of a real podcast story, like listener story. So I'm nervous that this is going to be a big fail on my part. I'm nervous it's going to be a big fail on my part, to be honest. I was writing it, I was like, how is this not so obvious, but also people out there have wild stories. So there's that too. I feel like I'm going to be able to figure it out. I feel like I know I feel like I know eva well enough I feel like only one will like mention something really obnoxious about us on road trips and like then i'll

I'll be able to figure it out for sure because maybe she's like just trying to like call us out publicly Maybe that's what I think I will overthink it and get it get it wrong and m will just like no without With certainty and without question. So that's my hypothesis for today, but we'll see what actually happens. Eva did send us a folder just now. Is there a specific, I don't want to, April ghouls two boo's in a lie. Do I, I don't want to open it and mess anything up. Is there like a specific order or instruction?

There's not a specific order. I hadn't actually, you know, since there are only three stories, I figured you guys could pick who goes first and who doesn't. Um, I did, obviously I took, Christine, here's the thing. I really thought through, I did not think through, you might be right. Actually. I think M is the wild card in this situation because Christine, I put so much thought

into your internet sleuthing, I literally was like, I was like, do I submit my own story to the website? You knew I would notice the margins were different and I'd be like, I know which one it is, just without even reading it. This is a classic case of you can't bullshit a bullshitter. Because Eva, and by the way, we did not, Eva thrust this upon us.

Let's be clear. We, no one asked. Eva said, I'm handling April Fools, don't worry about it. And I went, didn't know we were celebrating. She didn't quite say don't worry about it. She actually said, I'm really worried about it. We should all be worried about it. And I said, well, that's just great.

So there was actually no words of comfort that accompanied her announcement. I feel like Em maybe read the comfort between the lines. Because from what I got, it was, Eek, I don't know what this is gonna be. And I was like, cool, cool, cool. That's great. I can't wait.

Eek constantly. Eek always is forever. Anyway, silent applause around the world for Eva because this was... Don't do that yet. I was gonna say, can we hold the applause till after, Em? You came in feeling really against this whole plot and said, I hate this.

And now suddenly you wanna start clapping. I mean, I hate this, but I gotta be appreciative of effort whenever I see it. Okay, all right. And I only hate this because I am going to, usually I don't have to guess based on someone that I know. So now I feel like, oh man, the friendship test is really going to prove. Again, I think you're the only one who's going to be good at this. I don't think I'm going to understand how to play. I think you're going to win, but we'll see. We'll see if either of us. And again, considering I put so much.

So basically what I did is that I pulled the two stories that I did pick of real and current listeners. I mean, who knows current? Real listener, real life listeners. I put their stories into a Google Doc. So all three stories are in the same Google Doc. So they're labeled like story one, story two, story three. And then as best I could, I put the like subject line, their name, pronouns, their email contact, like all of that I put into the top. So it

looked like, Ellie, you got the similar info that you would get from an email, like the actual email format. So you had to, you had to, so what you're saying is you chose your own pronouns here is, and I think Eva's gonna, maybe Eva picked different pronouns. See, I'm already getting to it. We're overthinking, we're overthinking. We should just read it and go with our guts.

Like Eva picked the time. I bet the time has a fucking clue in it. It's probably something so stupid. It's probably like, It says subject. And then when it came in, oh my God, I'm so, oh my God, Eva. It's gonna be like Lemon's birthday and I'm gonna have to try and remember February 19th.

Not that I forgot, it's February 19th. The time you birthed, the exact time that I birthed. The time that I birthed, yeah. You like birthed Lemon, yeah, okay, yeah. So it was a home birth in an Airbnb. Okay, anyway, let's get to this. Should we just read them, Eva? Eva, this is sick. Eva, Em's like swinging the pendulum so far. Em's anyway, let's get to this. Should we just read them, Eva? I'm getting-

Eva's like swinging the pendulum so far. Em's like, I fucking hate this. And then like, wow, I'm so proud of you, Eva. And then like, let's fucking get this. I can be proud and scared at the same time. But it's almost like you're angry and proud. Like it's like you're angry at her, but also proud of her, which is a weird combo.

Like I've never really witnessed this combo. Two emotions can exist at the same time. All right. Take it to Jordan. Let's see. Two emotions can exist at the same time. All right. Take it to Jordan. Let's see. I'll tell Jordan all about it afterwards. I am impressed. You went through a lot of work,

but man, I am about to analyze the shit out of you. And this is not how I planned my day. I already feel bad for the people who did submit stories and were like, this is fake. Eva made this up. You know, I really didn't think about that part. I'm like, Tom, isn't real. It's all a lie. Oh, Eva. I really didn't think about that part. I'm like, Tom isn't real, it's all a lie.

Oh, Eva. I forgot one last part. They are all three. They do have a theme, all three of them together. Oh, for God's sake. They are all lady and white stories. The end. Oh, okay.

All right, I love that we get the theme. I'm so glad we don't have to figure that out. Yeah. That would have been awful if there was two mysteries. No, no, yeah, I figured that needed to be said up front. I already forgot because of the ghoulish energy. For a second, I was afraid that maybe these two stories had nothing in common,

and then the story you write gives them a theme. Like, you were the, like, the Venn diagram in between. Yeah. Yeah, I was the crux of it all. Who knows? Maybe I am. Oh, Eva, you have put my brain on a roller coaster Let's go I guess I I think I'm gonna be able to figure you out. I want to be able to figure you out

I'm not disappointed if I can't I'm really nervous Okay, laughs afterwards No, I was not yeah, okay Afterwards, can you come back on? Yes, in front of you? No, I was thinking that, yeah. Okay, okay. Just for sound purposes, because I think you're not on a mic right? Yes. So, okay. So we'll kick Eva off now, and then at the end, we'll bring her back for the reveal.

Thanks for all your work, Eva. Go away. Get out of here. Get out of here. I'm gonna get out of here by myself. All right, bye, I miss you already. There she goes. There she goes, our little lady. All right, I guess let's dive into this nonsense.

Yes, I am excited to, you know what it is about this is that I don't feel like a fool yet, but I think this game will turn me into a fool on April Fool's Day. And I'm about to become even more involved with the theme of the day as I devolve very quickly in this game. So you just kind of like feel an impending

sense of foolishness. Foolishness. Foolery, yeah. Yeah, okay, gotcha. Like Eva said, happy April Fool's Day. I'm going to make you face your own foolery today. And I'm going to... That's a good point. I'm gonna hold a mirror up to you for once and it's deserved.

How dare you. Maybe that's why I'm so vulnerable currently about this. I'm like, oh my god. Vulnerable? I'm about to find out just how foolish I am. I like to be in a fantasy land where I don't actually know, but today the truth comes out, or the booze comes out, as Eva has put as the title of this game.

So, would you like to go first, or would you like me to go first, Christine? Why don't you go first? Okay. Okay, yes, immediately we would have at least picked up on the theme, because the subject is, is the lady in white my grandpa? And this is from...

Okay. Love that. And this is where immediately my brain starts overthinking everything because the preferred name and pronouns are America, she, her? And that name is just unique enough where it could be someone's actual name or Eva could be trying to intentionally trap us. I don't think this is Eva.

My gut says no. My gut says America is a real listener. Okay. Okay. Okay. We just, just so we can play full detective, I'm going to give you the timestamps and everything. Okay. Okay.

Subject line is the lady in white, my grandpa from Saturday, March 2nd, 2024 at 424. A lot of twos and fours here, I see. What's Eva's angel number? We could use that for our- 33. Or 11, 11, right? What, is it? Isn't it?

Oh no, we did, in numerology, wasn't it? It has to have a number of three. I think you know, I think you pick yourology, wasn't it? It has something to do with three. I think, you know, I think you pick your own, or I think you have a personal angel number. I don't think it has to do with your birthday or anything. I just didn't know if Eva has a specific number, like you have two, you know. Yeah, this is three, two, two, two, four, four, two, four.

This is crazy. People are gonna scream at us. This is like so unhinged what we're doing right now. Can you imagine if we did this every episode though? Oh my god, no one would ever listen again. No, we would get fired. Your story. Dear Geo's loved ones. Okay. Okay. I have about a bajillion ghost stories under my belt. Eva does have a bajillion ghost stories in her email account. Okay. I have about a bajillion ghost stories under my belt. Eva does have a bajillion ghost stories in her email account. Okay. I have about a bajillion ghost stories under my belt.

Too many to live comfortably, but here's one that gave me some real heebie-jeebies. It's a bit of a two-parter, so buckle up and enjoy. This happened a few years ago when I was 16. One of my friends, Celeste, invited me, and my best friend Marley to sleep over at her house. We had had many a sleepover together but never at her house before. The three of us had decided to go for a drive. So it was me driving with the

other two girls sitting in the backseat together. We were about to head back to Celeste's house, but right as we were about to turn into her driveway, we decided to do one last loop around the block. As soon as we started to turn onto the next street, I heard my friends screaming from the back seat. Marley started crying and saying she watched us drive through someone. But Celeste said she saw a man standing on the side of the road and just screamed because Marley scared her.

Upon further questioning, I was told that there had been a woman in a long old timey wedding dress crossing the road and that I had driven through her, which I can't imagine driving through a person. Okay, we'll break it down in a second. Okay, okay. Celeste told me the man she saw

was wearing a suit and a top hat and he was just staring at us. Yuck. I hadn't seen either of them, so naturally I drove back around down that same street and ended up seeing the lady in white standing on the side of the road, sort of halfway into the trees.

It was definitely eerie, but I hadn't just been told, if I hadn't just been told essentially that I'd hit her with my car, I would have thought it was just a lady in a vintage dress walking around. Oh, shit. So then your friends were like, hey, that's the lady you just drove through?

What the fuck? Yeah. What's weird is that not even a month later, I was hanging out with my other friend, Emily, who lived a few streets over from Celeste. Little bit of context here, Emily has always been very in tune with spirits and can tell you immediately if a spirit is around,

as well as if one is good natured or not. Yeah, it sounds like she just screams. Oh wait, no, or was I saying to my friend? Nevermind. Yeah. I was like. Maybe they all do. Maybe.

We were driving back to her house and I ended up turning down that same street where I saw the lady in white. I immediately felt my stomach drop and came to a complete stop in the middle of the road. Without thinking I said, is it safe? To which Emily said no and burst into tears. Oh God. When I tell you I have never turned around a car so fast in my life, as we were, as we

started speeding down a different road, I noticed Emily kept looking behind us through the back windshield. I turned to yell at her to stop that and that she was scaring me when I realized she also had her shoulders hunched all the way over around her ears, like up to her ears. It was easily the most terrified I've ever felt.

And when we got back to her house and had laughed it off a bit, she told me she hadn't been turning around to look at the road behind us. She was looking in the back seat where she could feel someone holding the back of her neck. Oh, no, oh no. It's coming from inside the car. P.S. my grandpa always grabs the back of my

and my siblings necks to mess with us, hence the subject line. Okay, wow. Okay, wow. Okay, I get it. Wait, so is there no goodbye? Because I feel like we're gonna need like every clue we can get. Bye-bye America.

Bye-bye? Okay, that's... Bye-bye America. Okay, all right. Should we assess now or should we continue reading and then assess? We should do a mini assess. Okay. All right. Should we assess now or should we continue reading and then assess? We should do a mini assess. Okay, mini assess. It's interesting that the names start with C and the other one has an E.

Correct. There's also one. The names got me too. Yeah. There's also one whose name starts with M. M, Marley. Yep. C and M.

And don't Celeste and Marley kinda seem like made up names? America's gonna be like, these are my friends, you assholes. America, Celeste, and Marley is a combination of names you usually would not hear together. I don't know why, but there's gotta be a random name in the middle of the friend group. But then Emily, I don't know if Eva would've thrown Emily in there, that seems kind of like a...

That feels a little twist of the knifey to me. Right, doesn't it? Yeah, I don't know if Eva would have thrown Emily in there. That seems kind of like a... That feels a little twisted the knifey to me. Right, doesn't it? Yeah, I don't know. If it is Eva's story, I'm gonna fire her, so good luck. And then go, April Fools or no? You can come back on April 7th. We can play evil too. Yeah, yeah, yeah, you've challenged the wrong fools.

Okay. You know, I gotta, and I don't mean. Yeah, yeah, yeah, you've challenged the wrong fools. Okay. You know, I gotta, and I don't mean this negatively, Eva. I mean this with love, but I don't know if a story you would conjure up could be that scary. That was pretty damn scary. So yeah, you're right. That was pretty, like the plot, but it is a plot twist and she is a writer.

So I'm like, maybe she was seeking a plot twist, you know? And Eva is a smarty. It's not that I don't think you couldn't. I'm just thinking this story is particularly freaky. So like- Yeah, I agree. I would have to be, I would be, I don't know. I don't know. I don't know, Eva.

Eva. I don't know. All right. I'm gonna read story number two before we get to in the weeds. All right. This subject is called, Nobody Believes Us, a Story About Ghosts and Disappearing Houses.

This, see, this might be something. This is from Jessie He They, so a double pronoun. Yeah, Eva knows I love a double pronoun. And Eva knows none of those are her pronouns, so I don't know, I don't know. Okay, we got Wednesday, September 20th, 2023 at 1 p.m. Part of me is like, read the email. Read the email address.

It's for everybody. I kind of want to, because it is, it's very specific. It is very specific. Oh, you see it? Yeah. It's a very specific email. It would take like a lot of internet creativity to come up with this email. It feels

like an email that was overthought if you're coming up with a fake email. But it also feels like someone's just random real email. So it's hard to tell. I know. Okay. Hi guys. My fiance recently introduced Meteor podcast and like a sane person, I have been listening from the beginning. Thank you. I'm about 80 episodes in and don't listen to anything else. And now we're just like, are you fake? Are you real? And he's like, I just joined. I don't know what's happening. I'm about 80 episodes in and I don't listen to anything else. Before I get into my story, I just want to say even though I'm studying to be a pastor, I'm not a priest, but I am writing this from my office at the church, which is also haunted. Almost every morning when I come in, the lamp in the corner of my windowless office is on

as if someone left it on for me so I don't have to enter a dark room. That's nice. Now for my story. When we were younger, my stepsister and I used to like to go explore haunted places around Halloween time. Usually it was just hanging out in the country cemeteries around where we lived in rural Wisconsin. Well, one year we decided to go to the abandoned Blackburn house we had heard about

that kids from the local high school used to party in. We had heard that it was full of antique furniture and it was like the owners had just up and left. That sounds like a slaughter pen, right, Em? It literally sounds like maybe Eva is... I don't know. I mean, it's also kind of a, I feel like that... It is a timeless tale.

Yeah, right, right. Like it's definitely a familiar tale. Like the owners had just up and left leaving everything behind. So we drive out to this house way out in the middle of nowhere and pull into the driveway. It was one of those where it made a loop in front of the house and there was a big oak tree

with a circular bench around it in the middle of the driveway. How charming. We were sitting there in the car in the middle of the night right outside the front door, trying to convince ourselves that we should get out of the car and go into the house. Neither of us felt like we could open the doors. As we sat there and we were looking into the woods, we could see little white lights moving around the trees. It was late in the fall when we were out there, so it definitely wasn't fireflies. It was almost like they were guarding the house. After probably 45 minutes, we decided to leave. As we pulled out of the driveway

and started down the road, we passed by an old machine shed where we both saw this huge blue ball of light. I slammed on my brakes and backed up so we could see what it was. No matter how much we looked, there was nothing in there that could have reflected that light back to us. The shed was just full of rusty farm machinery. Finally, we left and drove back into town and decided to drive around the cemetery, you know, like any sane person would do in the middle of the night. As we drove around the cemetery,

we came to an intersection. While we were deciding which direction to turn, my stepsister looked out the passenger window and the headstone that was directly next to my car had the name Blackburn on it. Ooh! It was the guy who used to live in the house we had just been to. Eww!

Sorry, that's freaky. We both looked at each other, freaked out by the coincidence, then saw this dark figure coming toward us down the road. We started to book it toward the exit, and along the fence row we saw a woman in a white Victorian dress walking alongside us as if she was protecting us from the dark figure. What the F? Well, fast forward a couple of weeks, my stepsister and I decided to go back to the house during the day. We drove all the way out there

and found the driveway and pulled in. What was weird is when we got to the roundabout part of the driveway, there was no house there. Oh, hell yeah. What the fuck? Okay. We got out and looked around to see if we could figure out what happened.

However, there was no trace that there had even been a house there in years. It was just an empty space completely grown over by prairie grasses. The only thing that was there was a small hole in the ground, a small square hole in the ground, like an ox well. Nope, that's not what that says. An old well that had been filled in with rocks. Everything else, the tree with the bench, the mailbox, an old well that had been filled in with rocks. Everything else, the tree with the bench, the mailbox, the old machine shed, that was all there just like

it was the night we went out there. Okay. That's really weird. That's really freaky. It's like the ghost of the house was there for you. Yes. Yes. And it's so freaky. I wonder what would have happened if they got out of the car and like actually went- And went in. Yeah. Yeah. That's like a Goosebumps actually went in. And went in. Yeah. Yeah. That's like a goosebumps episode

like you get trapped in the house. It is like you disappear or something. Anyone we tried to tell our story to refuse to believe us and says we just made the whole thing up. Others who have lived in the area for most of their lives have said there has not been a house there for as long as they could remember and that it had always been an empty clearing in the woods.

But we both saw the house and know that it was there. Sorry for the long email, but it seemed like it'd be a fun story for you to do in a listener episode. Maybe you won't believe us either. I promise we do. Unless you're Eva, then we don't. But what if that's the twist this whole time? Nobody believes me. Well, we don't either. So it would be a fun story for you to do. Maybe you won't believe us either, but I have hope that there's someone out there who will finally believe our story, Jessie.

For now, Jessie, I have to leave you until I figure out confidently that it's you, Jessie, and not Eva, then I'll believe you. Jessie, the fact that you came here seeking like reassurance and we're saying, I don't know if I wanna give it to you, is crazy. We're saying, we don't know if you exist,

which is the wildest thing to say to somebody Who emails you are you? When it comes I will say when it comes to like haunted houses in that the house itself Appears because I've heard stories like this before and some people have actually gone in But they find out later that they were just walking around in an empty field neighbors like what the fuck they're like Yeah, they're like, they're like, fully hallucinating. They're like, fully hallucinating.

Touching the walls, there's nothing there. Climbing up stairs that aren't there. Oh God, yeah, that would be embarrassing. Okay, so what are we thinking about this one? Okay, I like this one a lot. I wanna believe this is real, because that is quite an incredible story. I don't know.

I mean, I love the coincidence of the cemetery, the gravestone being... It's almost like you ended up at the gravestone. He was like, I'm right here. And then you were drawn back to the house to find out it wasn't really there. It feels almost like there was a whole plot. I don't know. What do you think? Like a beginning, middle, and end?

I said that out loud and went, wow, what a nice narrative structure this has. Yeah, you know what's so sick about Eva is that like, she reads thousands, at this point, she's read thousands of listeners stories. For sure, easy. And she knows what the average writing would look like of our listeners.

Is that she could so camouflage herself. Yeah, because then part of me is like, oh, this just feels like a normal story. But I'm like, that's exactly, that's like the best disguise is to be like, don't they say like even when you go like, like into spy school or something, it's like keep your identity identities close to your real one.

It's like stick as close to the truth as you can. This feels like just like a, and I don't mean to poo poo on the story, I'm not. I'm just saying like in terms of writing, this feels like a Joe Schmo, like an average story. Like I'm just like, oh, maybe like, it could just be Eva just trying to like blend in with everybody else.

Cause it's a good story, but it's, I'm reading so much into how it's written and for Eva you have turned me into a looney-tune within for some reason even I both thought you'd be the same person in this I Did too now? I'm like really devolves. Oh Eva would do that But then what if Eva thought I would clock it like that's usually my job is to over's usually my job is to overanalyze and think and talk. And you're just like taking on the duty for me. I love it. Well, okay. Hopefully we, even in the beginning of it says, I just want to say even though I'm saying to be a pastor,

I'm not a priest. I feel like there's like nods to like maybe like- Yeah, but it's also like- Or Jane Minister. Thanks priest, you know, I think that's probably why they said it. Shit, you're probably right. Which is a joke from like so thanks priests, you know, I think that's probably why they said it. Shit, you're probably right. Which is a joke from like so long ago, you know?

I don't know, okay, you read the next one because I'm gonna lose my mind if we don't know very soon. Okay, I hope this one really Clarifies. fills it out for us. Okay, subject line, return to sender, Florida mail instead of Florida man discovers local ghost edition. Florida mail like M-A-L-E mail? M-A-I-L, oh, that would've been funny.

Oh, I thought you meant mail instead of man. I was like, oh, wait, hold on. Okay, sorry, so say it one more time for my ears. Return to sender, Florida mail man instead of Florida man is Florida mail man. I of Florida man, it's Florida mailman. I'm sorry, I get it. Okay. Florida mailman discovers local ghost.

Okay. From Lizzie, I-E Lizzie, and I-E Lizzie. Who uses she, her pronouns. And January 4th, 2024 at 6.43 PM. Howdy Lemons. It feels like a personal attack. Yeah. Okay.

Howdy Lemons. So let's crack into it. Already using a few too many things, I think. My husband is a skeptic. I feel your pain, y'all. Sorry, Blaise and Al, pal. It's super annoying because I've been able to sense things from at least one of the other sides since I was little.

I've even dragged him on ghost tours in our area before, and while I was shivering from a ghostly cold and feeling generally ill, he was on his plane looking up the local atmospheric pressure. Huh? You said he was on a plane? Yeah. I've even dragged him on ghost tours, and while I was shivering from a ghostly cold

and feeling generally ill, he was on his phone. Sorry, did I say plane? Yeah. That's so stupid. Why did I do that? I don't know. I said he was on a plane, and he said, yup, and I said, wait, what? Yeah, my brain really fully ran with it. Okay.

He was on his phone. While I was feeling cold and generally ill, he was on his phone looking at the local atmospheric pressure and lunch spots to debunk what I was feeling and weather as weather and blood sugar. Rude. Which feels like something Blaze and Allison would do of like, oh, it's just the altitude.

You're just feeling sick. Rude, very rude, yes. But onto my story that I'm mostly stealing from my husband because to be honest, it's lost on him. We live in a very small town in central Florida, so when I tell you my husband, as one of only a handful of local past, oh my God, why can't I read? She's fucked me up, Eva.

Okay, okay. I'm literally trying to literally read every word worried about you know well also reading don't read into it we'll read into it after just read it ah onto my story that I'm mostly stealing from my husband because to be honest it's lost on him we live in a very small town in central Florida so when I tell you my husband as one of only a handful of local postal workers knows everyone I mean he knows everyone I'm not using his name because I love the town gossip and I don't want to get him in trouble

But let's just say the tea is piping but that's an anonymous story for another time Okay Anywho, I would always hear him complain about this one house in particular Which it was already weird that he didn't know anything about the owners He said it seemed abandoned mail would pile up and he'd have to eventually bring it all back to the post office in chunks And fill out redeliver forms What happens fun fact though? What happens when your mail person can't deliver to your mailbox anymore say fill out redeliver forms This feels like Okay, I can't even do this right now.

Don't even start. Well, one day over dinner, my husband, way too casually tells me that he actually saw someone at the house today. I'm like, tell me more, tell me everything. And he still entirely too nonchalantly says something to this effect. I forget the exact wording because I immediately got goose cam and yelled at him for not calling

me when it happened. He still entirely, too nonchalantly says, a weird looking lady in an old torn up white lacy gown was staring at me from the window. Eww! Yeah, that's something that you ponder. You don't just say I'm passing. Yeah, a torn up white lacy gown. Yeah, that's already a big red flag.

He said she watched him shove another batch of letters into the mailbox, but when he backed up she was gone. So obviously the next day my nosy ass just happened to be in that part of town and literally how had I never seen this house before? I immediately knew which house it was. So she knows what house it is, even though she's never been there. Being small town Florida, most of the houses in our area

are cute one stories, screened in porches. We've all seen golden girls. Well, when I tell you that this house was straight witch house vibes, it just adds Spanish moss. Woof. I could also immediately feel this was the right house. Even more than being out of place, it just felt off, if you know what I mean.

Kind of a cross between the feeling of people you can't see staring at you and that goose cammy cold feeling I get when I know that there's some sort of spirit around At this point I was like, okay great. I'm here now what when all of a sudden I saw her too She was definitely straight up a weird old woman in a torn lacy gown, but unless my husband forgot to mention this part She had her hand raised and was holding what looked like a damn wax sealed envelope towards me. Like she can't get any of the mail her husband's coming with, but she can hold her own envelope out to you.

Like maybe she's just been waiting to mail something special out. Oh, thanks. Since you're here. Yeah, I forgot to RSVP to this wedding in 1962. Can you take this to me from me? I was so shook that I noped out of there so fast and I immediately called my husband and of course he didn't believe that she was a ghost and especially didn't believe me about the dramatic way she was trying to hand me a Victorian envelope as I was, as if I was

a carrier pigeon. And listen, this goes both ways because he basically hung up on me for not believing that he doesn't deliver wax sealed envelopes to that house when he does deliver mail there. Either way I hope she's able to deliver her message someday I just don't really want to be the person to do it. So that's my story. You should have thought about that before you showed up looking in the window and now you're offering your services and it sounds like you gotta get your postal bag and send that letter.

So that's the story of how my husband is a skeptical Florida man who discovered a local ghost. I hope you enjoy my little local lady in white story as much as I enjoy your podcast I can't wait to see all the next time you're in Florida from Lizzy busy This one's Eva this one's no doubt. Yeah, Eva. We got you we nailed you I Was trying to think about it halfway through I think I have and also there's too many there's too many nods about us.

Eva is that you? You got me. Yay! Okay, so we just basically shit all over the first two stories. Okay, here's what I'll say Eva. Just if like when we're giving okay, so first of all, M quick note, you did not read all the times Eva wrote hubs and other fun things that like really would have added

to the flavor of the story. Cause when I saw hubs, I was like, this is Eva. Like Eva wrote hubs to be like cutesy. Yeah. Oh really? I wouldn't have thought that at all. Cause I was like, I thought because I thought mine was that this was a Florida man story.

Nobody calls Alice Alison Alpal. Yep, that one got me. Okay, that is not true. So many, so many people call her Alpal. Truly, so many. Oh, interesting, interesting. That was one of the cases that I was like, if I'm gonna reference, I gotta go all in.

So I did like a ton of it. All right, fair. Because honestly, when people do, but you're right, you're right. It was the tip, it was the tip off. I think. And then tip, it was the tip off. I think. And then comments, there was, and then Howdy Lemons, I was like,

well, immediately this feels. And then also the Golden Girls line. I don't know, I just was like, this feels like Eva written all over it. Yes, I just was like, not that it feels like Eva, it feels like Eva trying to be Alyssa, you know what I mean? Yeah. Yeah.

I also, you know what was the was the real deal for me was a goose cammy. Yeah, that's so funny because people I thought I would get away with the lemons and the goose cam because honestly so many emails have those in there. Maybe I just read too. Maybe reading too many tripped me up. I think maybe you put so much of the energy of the stories in that it ended up being the peak. That's not being too much. Yeah, like a combination of all of the fun little kitschy stuff. I really enjoyed it though, and I'm a little bit sad

that the Victorian ghost lady is not real. You know what? I... ghost lady is not real, but you know what I what because I feel like this was a this was like you had a whole plan or a whole backstory is there. Did you have what was in the envelope? What's the story? Oh, so you know what I did totally. So as I was writing it, I was like, oh, it was funny.

I read it to Ray and she said to she she was like, how, what's her job? Like how old is she? And I was like, you know, what's funny? I thought of her as older and Ray was like, I know she is older. I was like, how? We don't know. Oh, so I don't know what is in the envelope, but I knew that that, I think I put more thought into Lizzy busy over here. I

thought you would get that because the like, I feel like you do that with my name. Yeah, okay. I call you Eva Beva. And I call myself Christina Bina. And so Lizzy busy. I was like, pretty spot on. I love that though. Like, that's actually very cute. I will tell you as as a reader to the author, I like to think that the envelope was to her own funeral. Oh, what a fancy invitation to your funeral. A wax sealed envelope. You get one last letter to send to people.

You better make it. Do you send it? Don't other people send it because you're dead. I'd like to think that people would put the effort into it with a wax seal, you know? That's true. I did think there was a question. All right, well, when you have yours ready, just give them to me. I'll mail them for you. Yeah. Yeah.

Eva, that was such a good story. Yay! Oh, I'm so glad. It was really fun to do. How long did it take you to write that? Also, were there Easter eggs in the time or anything, or did you just kind of guess? No, I tried to make the time really, since the other one, the pastor one,

was really like 1 PM on the dot. I was like, oh, I think I need to make this one like just a random time. But I did look up to see if Thursday, or January 4th was a Thursday. Oh, good. Oh, that's a Christina move. I was like, I should.

But when you said you put a lot of thought into that, I was like, I'm not gonna catch her on that. I'm not, she's too smart for that. I also even like- That's smart though, I wouldn't have even thought about that. But that's such a, I have to catch Christina in the act move. No, I literally, that's like the only thing I was thinking. And I even wrote it all out.

I like put them all in another doc and I wrote it. And then I copy pasted the whole thing. So I was like, technically you could have just gone back through the edits and then you would have seen me editing. That's so smart, Eva. If I had- That was the fact that- Well, I thought you were doing it.

I was like, Christina's so good at that shit. If I wasn't so sure, if I had more time and it wasn't on the show, I probably would have just like to double check my work, I would have gone and it wasn't on the show, I probably would have just like to double check my work. I would have gone and checked, but so smart. I gotta say, I feel like I just lived in chaos for the last 45 minutes, but I can't imagine the chaos your brain went through writing this,

trying to perfect it. So I got nothing on you. It was a lot and I did overthink it quite a bit, but I'm glad that I got to throw you into some foolish TV's. I also want to add, if we did not know that you had submitted one of these, I never would have questioned any of it.

Like I just would have seen there all, just to be clear, like we were on the lookout for any sort of, but if somebody had just sent this, I would have been like, oh, it's just another submission. It did not go across as Eva. Yes yes I did try to think I was like should I tell them that I wrote it specifically or should I just say that someone in the because originally I was like oh it became too big but I was like should I have like it became too big I had to see how to control

Like, it came too big. I had to get myself down. It's out of control. Should I have like, listen, write one and submit it? Blaze, I was going to go behind your back to your partner. I would have loved that. Next year, can we do that? Because that would be really fun. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Maybe next year. I got to give you props on that. What was the joke that made us laugh, Christine? Oh, that you were, that she was handing you a Victorian envelope like a carrier pigeon. That was good, that was really good. That was good. Nailed it.

Good line, good line. Thank you, thank you. Oh, Eva. Well, thank you. Luckily we were not the fools this time, but I feel like this is, this might not be the last time that you give us a silly little challenge

and I will probably feel good. And America and who was the other person? Jesse. I'm so sorry that we just accused you of being fake people this whole time and your stories are very creepy. And especially when Jesse's like, please believe me. And we're like, not yet. Prove yourself. But now, Jesse, I absolutely fucking believe you because I have heard about disappearing houses. And it's one of the freakiest things I've't know. Prove yourself. But now, Jessie, I absolutely fucking believe you, because I have heard about disappearing houses and it's one of the freakiest things I've ever heard. See, I thought for sure Jessie was going to be the...

I thought you were going to be Jessie, because I was like, it's too obvious to put yourself at the end. But then I was like, but then what if you double think it and then you definitely put yourself at the end. That's what I did. I was like, got to put that in there. And I thought you might think, that's why I picked, well, also, because that story was very scary,

but I also was like, pastor, there were a couple little nods in there that I was like, this feels like it could throw them off a little bit. And it says, please believe me. And I'm like, begging. I'm like, ugh. Trying too hard.

Jesse, I believe you. I really actually do. So if you needed that validation, I have it for you here. I do believe you now that I know you're not Eva in disguise. But good job, Eva. Good job, Eva. Yay! You did a very good job.

Thanks, just thought that'd be fun. That was a fun idea. It never even occurred to me that we should be put on the spot. It didn't look like Em was having fun at all, but I can assure you, we both were. So. I was having fun on the.

You're having fun watching, you not have fun. It's kind of like being on tour. I can have fun while panicking also. So that's what was going on. That's a beautiful paradox, Em. I love that. A paradox, yeah. That's what Eva likes to put me in all the time.

Which is a big fat paradox. Two things can be true at the same time. Well, thank you to Eva, and I hope everyone has a good April Fool's Day. Be careful out there. And month of April, if anyone tries to fool you, you know, you're not alone. Maybe write about it, or you're not alone.

That's a good way to put it, because we are obviously- We're on the lookout ourselves so we're patient zero thanks to Eva on that so anyway thank you if you would like to submit future stories you can to our website and that's redrink.com and happy April happy April we love you and that's Eva Eva why And Eva. Why? We, Eva go ahead. April Fools.