And That's Why We Drink - Listener Stories: Vol. 96
Episode Date: October 1, 2024Cue the spooky intro sounds, October is officially here! And this month Eva has collected the perfect batch of stories to set the mood for our favorite month. From imaginary childhood demon friends, t...o possible possession, and even a throwback to Eva's April Fool's story these Listener Stories are sure to bring the frights. So grab yourself an FLT or some bathroom boxed wine and settle in... and that's why we drink! Cryptids Unscripted is coming soon! Don't just scream your creepy cryptid slam poetry verses into the void, send them to us at: atwwdfromourcouches@gmail.com for a chance to be featured! Looking for the perfect spooky season activity? Come see our brand new live show: The Pour Decisions Tour which is sure to bring plenty of gasps, laughs, and frights! Get your tickets at: andthatswhywedrink.com/live
Transcript
Discussion (0)
Welcome to our annual tradition of remembering last minute
that this is our Halloween listener episode.
I don't know.
Um.
Listen, you had something going there.
Nyehehehe.
There you go.
Happy almost Halloween.
It is Halloween the first, if you will.
That's right, it's the first Halloween the first day
By the way, people are starting to do advent calendars for Halloween and I'm so in support of this
I think this is genius
I saw one last year that is now being brought back by storm, which is like every day
You get a different crystal, which I thought was fun
There's other ones are candy. I love I mean mean, you know I love any reason for an FLT.
And if you're going to give me 30 days of FLTs, I'm going to just take it.
Absolutely.
Fucking lutely.
Speaking of FLTs, we're very excited.
And by the way, if you don't know what the hell that is, don't Google it because it's
going to tell you something that's not what we're talking about.
Because in our world, FLT means fun little treat, which is a beautiful name M invented,
a concept M invented.
Speaking of fun little treats, we are very excited because we were meant to announce
this sooner and we forgot, of course, that we are doing our annual Cryptids Unscripted
very soon.
Oh yeah.
That's, that's, that's, what's a wolf?
What's a werewolf is what that is in the background.
Mm hmm. Mm-hmm.
Mm-hmm.
Yes, we're doing Cryptids on Scripted.
A lot of people thought we were going to do it for Friday the 13th, very sneaky, sneaky,
sneaky.
That would have been very smart.
And yet-
It would have been very smart, smart, smart.
But you know what?
Instead, we said, nah, we're going to do it for Halloween.
Is that what we're doing?
Or do we-
I believe we're, are we announcing when it, yes.
And we're also doing, it's on Halloween.
We're very excited because it'll be like
a little pop-up episode.
The merch, we're doing merch, which I'm mostly excited for,
which comes out October 4th.
And it's gonna have, oh my God, the design is so fun.
It's like an actual slam poetry scene with like Mothman
and it's like kind of 1950s-esque.
I'm just really amped for it
and they did a really good job with it. But yeah, it's where we read our
cryptid slam poetry and if you have a submission you can send that in. I
believe we have an email address that I'm just making Eva text me on the fly.
Sorry, Eva. So Eva just sent it. ATWWD from our couches. That is usually where we have
submissions for things like this, like virtual shows and
that kind of thing. And virtual, like live listener
episodes, that kind of thing. So, if you have a slam
poetry submission, a cryptid slam poetry submission,
please send that in. I'm sure most of you do on hand that
you've already written. I think we all do. So, you know,
just send that on over.
And on Halloween, we can all do a little listening party
with some rain and some jazz.
Yeah, it'll be heavily produced with one jazz soundtrack
that we put across.
That I invented many years ago and is royalty free.
Yes, that's right.
I've done it again.
But we're very excited to share some stories with you.
So in one way, October, since it's spooky season,
it will be a two listeners episode month for you.
Yes.
One at the beginning of the month and one at the end.
Also, happy birthday, Leona. Every year.
Happy birthday, Leona.
I forget, she's three.
Every year for almost three years.
Wow.
Does that mean she officially wears three tee?
Shit. Well, she's getting growing into it. for almost three years. Wow. Does that mean she officially wears three T? Mm-hmm.
Shit.
Well, she's getting growing into it.
She's like 17th percentile for height or something.
So, we got a little longer.
Good, because I recently bought her a two T something
and I'm scared that she won't wear it for very long,
but that's okay.
We'll make it work.
Ha ha ha.
Okay.
Happy third birthday, Leona.
As a mom of three years and nine months.
How do you feel, Christine?
Oh, that's nice.
Great.
We're doing a dino party and it's outside, so I don't need to clean my house.
I'm thrilled.
Excellent.
Yeah, thank you so much.
Excellent.
Are you going to have a dinosaur come to the party?
Three wrecks. No, I am gonna have a lot of activities
and coloring and adopt a dinosaur
and all sorts of fun stuff.
Are you gonna get her those little-
Have you received your invitation?
I don't know, I haven't checked the mail
since I got home yesterday.
Oh, okay, we'll check the mail.
Are you gonna get her those little sponges
that are dinosaur shaped
and then you put them in the water and they grow?
I already did.
Yes!
They're in the goodie bags.
What about the eggs that you can scratch and then-
Of course, excavation eggs.
Yep, got those.
I think those are my two favorite dinosaur things.
Is this your RSVP?
Are you coming?
When's the date?
Her birthday?
October 5th.
Type, type, type.
Type, type, type.
Type, type, type.
Type, type, type.
Type, type, type.
Type, type, type.
Type, type, type. October 5th, type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type type fucking small. So I get it. Thanks, Christine, for introducing us. And now I'm in this little
tight nook. I'm only stressed about that because what I have to do today other than record is I have to clean and I just don't want to. That sounds like my nightmare, which is why I'm hosting a party
outside even though it's October. So, you know, wish me luck. You know, I am learning to, I am coming
around to this place, which someone commented saying, like, such a shame, Em clearly hates living there.
Would you, wouldn't you, if you lived in tight quarters with everything and also now have to
pay 10 grand for a wire to get moved? Yes, I do hate it a little bit currently, but it's gonna be
lovely. I mean, like, I guess I don't know, hate is a really strong word though, but, but yeah,
I suppose. And moments like that? Yeah, I do fucking hate it. You would hate it too.
But when things are clean and we can actually walk around
and we're not just like sitting in boxes,
I won't hate it anymore.
It's just, and I have to do that today,
which makes me absolutely just wanna throw up.
I'm just kind of swings between very extreme emotions.
So sometimes they're just extremely bad.
That's just how it is.
I just live in hyperbole and that's fine.
That's exactly, that's beautiful.
So poetic. Thank you.
So you can think I hate it
and half the time you're probably right.
That's fine.
Anyway, I will hate it less when this place is clean.
It's just never been clean since we moved in
and we're just still living in boxes.
It's crazy.
Okay, blah, blah, blah.
Where are we?
It is spooky season.
Do you know what you're dressing up as for Halloween,
Christine?
Not even a little bit.
My brain has not extended past this today.
Allison and I were gonna dress up as something from a reality show,
and I don't remember what it was anymore.
That must be very timely since you've forgotten it already.
Probably, and it's also, we watched reality shows
far after they've come out.
Yeah, exactly.
I was like, wait a minute.
Was it below deck?
I think it was. I think we're gonna, I'm gonna be, she's gonna be Captain Sandy, I'm gonna be Captain Lee. I think that, wait a minute. Was it below deck? I think it was.
I think we're gonna, I'm gonna be,
she's gonna be Captain Sandy, I'm gonna be Captain Lee.
I think that's how it's gonna be.
But I'm not sure yet.
That's nice.
Captain Sandy is one of Alison's only celebrity crushes
in the entire world.
I have heard about that.
And I have a crush on everybody else.
So it works out.
That's beautiful.
Okay, spooky season.
Cryptids Unscripted on Halloween day.
Expect an episode from us where we read your spooky stuff.
And now we got some general Halloween stories for you.
Eva has picked some spooky stuff to kick off
October the right way.
And I'm gonna go first, Christine.
Great, while I find a link. Awesome.
Perfect. Are you drinking your bathroom grog
that you found on the floor?
Okay, so Em thought it was so weird.
I guess it's weird, maybe.
I guess I didn't think it was weird until I said it out loud and then you reacted.
But I did find a box.
So we were on our Yappy Hour on Patreon talking about how deeply unhinged we were during the
week of our first show when we've really just made the most poor decisions, as we like to
call it to her, and we didn't know how perfect that name would be
and how little we slept
and how just our brains were scrambled.
And as an example, at the end, I was like,
yeah, like last night I went to my bathroom
to brush my teeth for the first time, probably all week.
And I found a box of wine on the bath,
like just sitting next to my towels.
And I was like, how did that even get here?
And the thing is I have one downstairs.
So I'm like, I don't even know how this appeared.
Like I'm not, I'm not mad about it,
but because it's a box,
it's not like affected by the bathroom.
I think I'm worried about the spout touching the floor.
I mean, I'm not like peeing on the floor of the bathroom.
Okay, then sure.
Then it's gonna be fine.
Are you?
The wine on the inside is probably delicious.
The way that you just said,
yeah, that's okay in that case. Fine because it's a floor and it's a bathroom floor. I wouldn? The wine on the inside is probably delicious. The way that you just said, yeah, that's okay in that case.
Fine because it's a floor and it's a bathroom floor.
I wouldn't wanna like eat food off of it.
Well it's not on the bathroom floor.
Oh, I thought you said you found it on the floor.
No, I just found it in the bathroom.
Oh, that's bad.
Yeah, on the counter next to all my towels.
And I thought, this is weird.
I don't know how this got here, but I'm really excited.
And I was gonna go get it, but then I was worried
because Em made such a disgusted face,
but then looked concerned.
And I was like, if Em was disgusted, that's one thing.
If Em's concerned, then maybe I should listen.
So I-
No, I encourage it now that it wasn't on the floor.
I thought it was on the floor or something.
Oh, no, no, no, it was not on the floor.
But it has been on the floor and whatever, I don't care.
You know that about me.
I sure do.
Yeah, nothing fazes me.
But I am instead drinking a beer
because I found it in my little mini fridge up here.
On the floor? On the floor my little mini fridge up here on the floor
On the floor of my mini fridge in the bathroom
All of you know we're on tour right now and
mobile saved us well Christine quite a lot Yes, they've saved my butt
I can not tell you how many times actually Eva and M probably can because it's a lot but I've run out on stage seriously
Open my iPad and been like, uh-oh
I never connected to the venue Wi-Fi
and I don't have the updated script.
So this time around, it's been amazing
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Okay, well our first story comes from Gracie who uses she, her pronouns.
Thank you for normalizing pronouns.
And the subject line is my family's experience with a gateway to hell.
Oh, I love that it was like a family memory.
I know it sounds like actually kind of like fun.
Gracie says, hi everyone, my name is Gracie
and I have been listening since 2017.
Wow. Shut up.
OG listener.
And I have a unique story
that I would like your opinions on.
I love giving my opinion.
By the way, I love being invited to give my opinion
because then it's like no holds barred.
I live near Stull Cemetery,
supposedly one of the seven gates of hell,
located a few miles outside of Lawrence, Kansas,
which is where-
We're going there.
Where I will be seeing you front row this month.
So I had to start yelling at her,
and then I was like, wait, just give it a minute.
Stull is a very small unincorporated community
in the county, and I live with a cemetery that
is the subject of a ton of local legend.
Oh, sorry.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
It is said that the devil visits Stull twice a year using a staircase that is hidden on
Halloween and on the spring equinox.
And has been doing this since the 1850s.
So I like that.
He's like, 1850s?
I guess I'll step on down.
I like what I see.
1849 came around and he was like,
I really gotta start zhuzhing it up.
What do I do on the spring equinox?
Hmm.
Why don't I go to Kansas?
That seems like the right thing to do.
Of all the places on earth, Kansas is the ticket.
Less known stories say he began visiting because he is
visiting the grave of a local witch he had a child with. Oh, so he's a present father.
Oh my. Well, he's present two days a year. Yeah. Well, so is my dad. So whatever.
I was going to say, it's more than a lot of dads. So good job.
A limestone church that used to stand in the center of the cemetery is another main subject
of many of the legends.
A story about the church I remember being told
on many occasions was that even years
after it had been abandoned and began crumbling,
rain never fell within the area of the foundation
despite fallen walls and damaged or missing roofs.
The church was mysteriously torn down in March of 2002
without the knowledge of the owner.
Oh my God.
What? How do you do that?
You just bring a big wrecking ball?
Can you imagine just finding out that your building's gone?
And your church of all things.
Yeah, you're just like, wait.
That's gotta feel ominous.
You're like, hang, wait, hang on.
Whoa, where, hang on.
It's like somebody just like took the inside of your house.
It's like, it must be so jarring that you're like,
wasn't there a building here?
Wasn't my building here?
It's like, also there's a lot of like decrepit buildings.
Am I forgetting where I left mine?
Did I miss something?
Yeah.
Only Christine Schieffer could lose a building though.
And I probably will, and I probably have, yeah.
And I've always had that.
And I've always had that.
Many people that visit still report losing time
as they explore the remains of the church
and look for the hidden staircase.
Over the years, there has unfortunately been a lot
of vandalism and destruction
because of how popular the legend is.
And visitors are no longer encouraged
as large no trespassing signs are everywhere
and there is significant police presence in the area.
Wow.
Damn, so I was gonna say you and I could have
a little picnic in a cemetery.
A private outing.
Yeah.
Not going to happen.
Not going to happen.
Some of the stories admittedly sometimes sound a bit out there.
And I think that unfortunately takes away any credibility, sorry, credibility of stories
from Stull with the locals here.
I would also be a skeptical local if it wasn't for my family's personal stories in Stull.
When I was about 15 or 16, my cousin and I were really into anything spooky and my paternal
aunt decided to tell us about some of her times there with her friends when they would
go to the cemetery to look for the staircase in the early 90s.
You got to have a kooky aunt to like egg you on.
Especially on your dad's side.
If you want a relationship with anyone on your dad's side, it's got to be the Kukion. It's got to be the sister yeah. Yeah there's a lot of videos
where people realize that like when their brother has a kid they're going to be on their dad's side
of the family and they just cannot recoup from that information. So you just got to be the paternal.
The paternal on oh my god. Yikes. So Kuki-on said that the, uh,
the church, which was not completely demolished at the time,
always had some strange items in it or looked like some spooky activities or
rituals had taken place there. Her main story though,
was about her success and finding the staircase. Leave it to the Kuki Paternalon.
She would. She'd probably just stumbled across it by accident too.
Oh yeah. Of course she was looking for her floor wine and she just had it.
I was going to say she was looking for her wine.
See, I'm made for this job and of course probably none of my siblings will have kids
and I'll just be the fucking cuckoo aunt for nobody.
Oh, so annoying.
It's going to be just Leona being like, that's my mom, please don't talk to her.
I need someone else to have a kid I can just be kooky toward.
It's like in the most recent, in the new Beetlejuice movie
We're like Jenna Ortega is like, yeah, that's my mom. She grew up in the Beetlejuice manner. That's gonna be Leona
Yeah, yeah. Yeah, please don't talk to her too long. She'll like get the wrong idea that you want
Yeah, it's not good. She drank floor wine again last night
It's been a rough day the day that Leona goes to her kindergarten teacher
and says, mommy and her floor wine
had a great time last night.
You'll know you're in trouble.
Well, you know what's so funny?
It's not funny. Well, it's a little funny.
And I did not do this on purpose.
Why?
Whenever I drink wine,
she just calls everything that's a grownup beverage
that she's not allowed to have coffee.
So she's like, mommy drinks a lot of coffee.
And I'm like, yes, mommy does drink a lot of coffee.
There's a, I know one kid who calls it mommy's fun juice.
Mommy has fun when she has her juice.
Oh, well, okay.
If Leona went to school and said mommy's fun juice,
I think CPS might be called or something might be called.
I mean, but mommy drinks coffee.
It's like, seems mundane enough.
It's almost as if you taught her in advance to hide it. I didn't and it almost felt like, well,
she did it on her own.
So I feel like I can't correct her.
I'm just gonna let her call it coffee.
It's mommy's coffee, but it's her spicy coffee
that I won't like.
I call it hot sometimes.
So I'm like, it's hot, don't touch it.
Okay, so Kuki aunt.
Oh, am I the worst, happy birthday, Leona.
Am I the world's worst mother probably, I'm sorry.
Kuki aunt found the staircase.
My aunt told us her and her friends had found it
after a while of searching
and said it was more difficult than they thought,
but also were surprised to find it even existed.
And then they decided to go down the stairs, of course.
No.
The group stopped after 15 minutes
and already insane amount of time
to be on any set of stairs, by the way,
and checked their watches to find it
had actually been about two hours
since they had started the stairs.
Absolutely not.
I, when I tell, you know what I would have fucking done?
What?
I would have sat there and prepared to die
cause I would have been like, there's no way
I'm taking two hours of uphill stairs.
There's no way.
I'm just done for.
I'm just convinced that's aliens or something. I don't like it.
You know, it's so funny though. Imagine if the staircase is actually super shallow and for two hours they were
just stomping in place.
Oh yeah. They were just going up like incrementally millimeter at a time.
They were just like putting,
they were just doing like high knees on the stairs.
Two hours later.
Yeah. Did they're, I'm most curious about like
what their thigh muscles felt like the next day.
Well, it said they were going down the stairs, I thought.
I know, but don't you have to go back up the stairs
to tell your niece about the story?
Oh, I'm assuming that they were just like,
you could go down them and it would still be like on
the walk around.
I don't know. I didn't think you'd have to walk up them, but maybe.
I assume if you're going downstairs, eventually have to go upstairs, but I don't know.
I mean, but if they're just like abandoned and they don't go to anything, I don't know.
Gracie, we'll ask you at the show.
Now at 24, I want to believe my aunt was feeding my cousin and I stories. I was
like feeding my cousin. Um, it was feeding my cousin and I stories that would get us
riled up. But the way that my dad reacts to it all makes me believe that what my aunt
told us as kids was actually true. My dad has worked for our county sheriff's office
for 27 years. And in that time he has patrolled and worked countless calls at Stull cemetery.
One thing about my dad dad that's important to know
is that he is a very much no bullshit guy
and would not entertain or encourage anything
that may have the potential
to get us in trouble with the law.
When I asked him about his sister's stories
and if they were true, I expected him to tell us
don't believe in that silly stuff and don't trespass.
However, for years, anytime I asked about it,
the only thing he would say is, don't ever go there.
Oh, well that's not what you tell a teenager, sorry.
Lesson number one.
Like, I would be there tonight.
Immediately.
I would push and ask about what he has seen
in his time there and he still would say,
just don't ever go there.
What would you believe?
Thanks, oh, what would you believe?
They're asking us. Thanks for taking the time to read my little local story. If you've been interested
in more spooky places in Lawrence, I highly suggest the Eldridge Hotel, which I'm sure
Christine will be putting us in now that that's there. All my love, Gracie. Oh, wow. Okay,
Gracie. I love that you were like, anyway, so I listened to my dad and did not go to
the stairs and I'm like, well, if my dad to my dad and did not go to the stairs. And I'm like, wait, what? Yeah, well done. If my dad said do anything,
it's exactly the opposite of what I'll be doing.
Oh my God.
Yeah, that's creepy.
I don't know.
I would believe it.
I believe it.
I do have a lot of questions about what happened
when they realized there were two hours downstairs.
I know, I wish there was more.
Is your aunt still with us?
Cause I would love for you to ask her more questions.
Cause I'm so curious.
Imagine the hike.
It had to be just like a quick thing, stairs.
And like just in that 10 second period of getting downstairs,
like that's, they just lost memory
of whatever happened on the stairs.
Yeah, but it said they spent 15 minutes on the stairs.
I'm like doing what?
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Yeah, didn't they think these are a lot of fucking stairs?
15 minutes?
15 minutes is half an episode of a TV show.
That's a third of a law and order.
Ugh.
I would literally just ab...
First of all, did you not look down and see how far it goes?
My first thought...
No, I think they were just standing there.
I don't think they were, like, walking for 15...
I mean, maybe they were.
Okay, maybe I misunderstood.
I thought it was just, like, they hung out on the stairs,
like sitting around or like.
Maybe you're right,
because your version sounds a lot less miserable than mine.
I mean, it does, that's what I'm telling myself.
I'm really hooked on like,
maybe they were just truly going up and down
these fucking stairs on top.
For 15, for two hours, kill me.
Okay, so that was Gracie's story.
Okay.
Thank you for your story.
The most terrifying part was in fact, the stairs.
Honestly, put a trigger warning for M next time, please.
Thank you.
Yes, please.
Okay, let's see.
I have a story here.
Number two.
This one's called, My Childhood Imaginary Friend, The Demon.
Uh-oh. This is from Kat, she, her, and it says,
hi all, I'm currently working through old episodes of yours.
I started at episode one in 2020.
That feels fitting to start at episode one in 2020.
Truly, yes.
So I'm still about three years behind, oof.
So pardon me if this isn't still a thing you do in 2024.
Oh, it is.
Nothing really much changes.
Show is.
And now that I've gotten my anxiety rambles out of the way,
let's crack into it.
I've got several stories,
but this one deserves its own write-in.
When I was young, around three or so,
I had three imaginary friends.
For now, they made- Three?
Yeah.
How many did you have?
Did you have imaginary friends?
I think I had one for like a second, but then I think I got shamed very quickly out of having
an imaginary friend.
But three is a party.
Three sounds like a riot.
Don't you get tired of them?
Tell them to go home.
I mean, seriously.
Maybe you needed one for every event.
What if there was like a fancy, casual, yeah, a kickback.
I had a school imaginary friend.
Hmm, what was that like?
Because I had a friend at school.
What was that like?
Well, one girl, I was thinking about this yesterday,
one girl told me to try to burn the school down
and I was like, okay, and then my imaginary friend
was like, don't do that.
And I was like, okay.
Oh, usually it's the opposite, it's the reverse
where your imaginary friend tells you
and then a real person says stop.
No, I think, no, it was, anyway it's, uh, we don't know what,
we were three. I didn't know how to burn a school down, but I was like, okay.
She said, you know what she said?
She said rub these sticks together until this fire starts. And I was like, okay.
What was her like brother in the scouts or something? And she wanted to,
like, I feel like someone was feeding her something.
She wanted to get out of class. Yeah. I don't know. I, I,
I still think about that. I'm like, what a weird, and like she was my only friend.
So I was like, okay.
Have you looked her up to see if she has committed arson?
No, because now she's all like,
then she became like a popular girl
and never spoke to me again.
So I was like, I know secrets about you
that you want to burn the school down.
Okay.
I'm gonna keep this in my back pocket
in case you ever wrong me.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
And she did and I was too scared.
So it's fine.
Anyway, this is not about me.
This is about Kat.
It says, when I was young, around three,
I had three imaginary friends.
For now, the main character, besides me, of course,
is Herner.
Of all the names.
Why is that it?
It's worse than I could have envisioned.
That tells me immediately it's really a demon
because no child is just picking that.
Herner.
If you're, if Leona said,
oh, I have an imaginary friend and her name is Ashley,
I'd be like, oh, okay.
But if she said his name is...
Or even like chair or something,
where it's just like an object.
Yeah, but if it's like an old 1800s name
that no one's touching anymore.
Like if she said Sylvester, I'd go...
Or like Wolfgang, and you're like,
where did you come up with that?
I'd be like, okay, it's definitely more demonic
than I'm prepared for.
Yeah, this is unsettling already.
Herner had dark hair and black...
Okay, I'm literally getting full body chills
from this already.
Had dark hair and black eyes, though not entirely black.
I, more than two decades later,
can picture exactly what he looked like.
He would show up in my room, the kitchen, our sunroom,
the backyard, and his favorite, the laundry room,
between our family room and the garage.
I was the only one who could see him as far as I know.
Herner had a habit of being an absolute asshole.
And I don't mean I was the asshole and blamed it on him. And then, Herner had a habit of being an absolute asshole.
And I don't mean I was the asshole and blamed it on him.
I mean, he would cause chaos and break things all the time.
Dinner was knocked to the floor, a vase shattered, and pieces went skittering all over the kitchen.
My toys would go missing and later turn up, stuffed up our closed fireplace flume.
No.
Herner.
Herner, don't burn the toys again. Herner the burner. It was the fireplace flume. No. We found-
Herner.
Herner, don't burn the toys again.
Herner the burner.
Oh, that actually does kind of work.
That's fun.
We found that one out because, oh my gosh.
Okay, we found that one out because I bumped it at age three
while pretending to be an officiant at my friend's wedding.
And that was the pulpit.
So in the fireplace, like bumped it by mistake and literally toys
and animal droppings and dirt came falling out of the
flume of the fireplace.
Like what was his plan?
Like, like, scary, scary, scary, for sure.
But also, like, kind of scary, stupid.
Like what what was the point of that besides just hiding things?
Oh, my God. and she even says,
sadly that princess dress had to get thrown away.
Maybe he just really wanted to ruin your wardrobe.
I don't know.
Maybe he just thought you were noisy
and wanted to shut you up.
And it was all the noisy toys, you know?
It feels like the thing where you're getting blamed
for something you didn't do
and your family doesn't believe you.
And it's like creating a division, you know?
Yeah.
And while I was in the room, I was never the culprit,
though my family had a tough time believing me.
Don't blame them. I mean, I don't.
I feel like if my daughter was like,
um, I don't know, herner did it, I'd be like,
mm, okay, you know?
I mean, I'd be like, tell me more, but also,
I'm skeptical.
Yeah, I...
I, as much as I think I would believe my kid saying anything if they if a toy just went missing
I'd go what the fuck they were the type to also
Hide a toy and go I didn't yeah
But if all of them flew out of a flume and I need to know how to do that I'd go
Oh, okay, so her knees her nerves actually her knees here. Got it. Okay. Yeah
Anyway, she says but it didn't stop there missing toys while three-year-old me's biggest tragedy
was small potatoes as I got a few months older.
I vividly remember watching Herner hit my younger brother
on multiple occasions, creating welts
all over his arms and legs.
Oh my God, and he couldn't even see it.
What's happening?
Yeah, oh my God.
I always got in massive trouble for doing it
despite my protest that I had not done it.
My brother being about a year old at the time.
So he couldn't even say anything.
A baby couldn't defend me either.
A baby.
So this thing hated kids then
because it was trying to hurt the baby.
It was trying to take your toys away.
Yeah, it was just trying to make you miserable.
Also like, was this a child-sized imaginary friend
or like an adult?
That's a great question. Maybe we'll get answers. I don't know, though. And as far as I know,
even he had no idea why he would end up with these bruises and welts on him. It all came
to a head when I started sleepwalking and waking up screaming and covered in bruises.
I beg your finest pardon.
On multiple occasions, according to my dad, I walked into the living room
where my parents were watching TV and started to scream.
Oh my God, I would lose my ever loving shit
if my child did this.
Wow, okay.
I would start taking my clothes off
in the middle of the living room too.
And every time I would have new bruises
all over my legs and arms.
Best part, I don't remember any of that. My
dad has had to tell the story to me multiple times.
Well, all those eventually built up for my dad. By the time I was five, my imaginary
friend the demon was causing entirely too much trouble for our conservative Christian
household and had been for about two full years. And my dad, who non-coincidentally about eight
years later would quit his job to become a pastor, thanks dot dot dot pastors, decided he had had enough.
He asked me if Herner was in the living room.
I told him yes, and he threw open our front door.
By this point, pretty much my entire family
had told me to quit using Herner as an excuse for everything,
and I'd begun to believe he was just imaginary.
My dad made this huge show of yelling at Herner,
telling him that he was hurting his family
and he wouldn't tolerate it.
He told him to get out and never come back.
Even when I was five, I thought he was doing it
just to make my imagination go rampant
and play along with the story.
I watched Herner walk out the door
as my dad stared at me,
waiting for me to give him some sort of sign
that Herner had left.
Wow.
I remember giggling, watching my dad as he shut the door,
and then boom, nothing else.
I blacked out or something, passed out.
Either way, I don't remember anything else of that.
I never saw Herner again though.
Even my other two imaginary friends faded.
I stopped sleepwalking.
I still bruised like a peach
and wake up with unexplained bruises,
but we'll blame that on the lack of spatial awareness
and the fact that somehow, me too, I walk into every piece
of furniture in a five-foot radius. To this day, my dad tells that story. He didn't believe
me for a very long time about Herner's existence, but his final straw was watching, powerless,
as his kids kept getting hurt. And when Herner vanished as he was commanded, well, my dad
now swears up and down that he believed I did have a demon attached to me.
Sorry for the long story. I figured y believed I did have a demon attached to me.
Sorry for the long story.
I figured y'all would get a kick out of it.
Love from Kentucky.
Hi Christine and fam, at least at episode 282.
Oh, so you're far enough that I've moved here.
That's pretty far.
I think so, yeah.
I guess I've been here for several years,
but anyway, wow, thank you for the story.
That is out of control.
I mean, honestly, I don't blame your dad
for becoming a pastor after that.
It's like, okay, hmm.
Wow, well, if Hearner's still walking around Kentucky
and needs a new place.
Get out of here, Hearner.
Oh, that's wild.
I also, I feel like I would love to know
the levels of demons or dark energies out there
because sometimes you hear like,
don't challenge it and tell it to leave,
or like, if you do, it's gonna get worse.
But then others, it's like, tell them like,
this is your space and they have to respect your boundaries
and they just walk away.
That's crazy.
So there's like minor demons that are like less powerful
that you're supposed to be able to tell to just get out.
Then there's like the stronger ones that,
yeah, like you said, can stay if they want to.
I don't know.
Wild.
Well, it sounds, and also it sounds like you're blacking out
was like him like detaching,
like unplugging you from him, you know?
Hey, I don't like this.
What?
Hernie, H-E-R-N-E, the hunter,
is a Celtic and German demon or Phantom Hunter
from folklore mythology.
I just Googled it.
I would love to know if that listener has ever looked up herny to see if the
pictures match.
Oh yeah. Hey, hey, hey, hey, cat. Go look.
I'm curious because there is a whole Wikipedia page on this motherfucker.
Well, thank you cat and her Herney and also Cat's dad for saving you from
Herney. And this next one is from someone who uses double pronouns. This is Kelly Shevay and the
subject line is Ouija board demon and dismembered neighbor. Great. Oh no, oh no. My name is Kelly.
I've been listening since 2019
and y'all helped me keep my sanity
through cosmetology school.
I was at the New Orleans show for Here for the Booze.
Wow, that's very sweet.
And I listened to the podcast religiously
and even got my husband to listen with me
when we run errands on Sundays.
That's the goal.
We're trying to be a Sabbath activity
for the whole family to enjoy.
I just want to just make all the men listen to us,
whether or not they want to at first.
I have both a paranormal and true crime story.
So we get two for one.
And double pronouns, double stories.
Ah, okay.
I wonder if you're a Gemini, Kelly.
Okay, so here's the paranormal story.
I have a lot of paranormal stories.
I could honestly write my own book about them.
And to my mom, seeing orbs above my head
when I was asleep as a small child,
to having an intelligent interaction at Myrtle's plantation.
But the one I want to share with you today
is about the Ouija board demon.
To start off, my mom had always been against Ouija boards.
So naturally when I got my first apartment,
that was my first purchase.
See?
My sister came over to visit me one night
and after dinner we decided it's a good idea to use it.
We started asking vague questions like,
is anyone here with us?
And can you tell us how many there are?
And we eventually asked, what's your name?
And the planchette started going super fast
over the same two letters, which spelled Zuzu.
Oh no, no, no, no, no, no.
Which is interesting,
because I think there's Zozo and there's Pazuzu.
Yeah, there's multiple.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
We got freaked out, so we forced it closed,
but not for long because we apparently weren't thinking.
What was wrong with us?
I have no idea.
When we opened the board again, the planchette started to move in an infinity sign and weren't thinking. What was wrong with us? I have no idea. When we opened the board again,
the planchette started to move in an infinity sign
and wouldn't stop.
No, no, no, no, no.
In there.
Even when we asked it a question, it just kept going.
We forced it closed again and watched the office
to help us calm down and kind of forget what just happened.
Later that night, my sister left to go home
and I went to go lay down in bed.
I was just about to fall asleep
when I heard a loud bang come from the wall.
No.
Where the only room on the other side was my living room.
No, that's gonna be scary.
For context, I live alone and had one cat at the time.
I thought it was my cat until I looked over
and she was laying in bed with me.
And probably like hackled up.
Yeah, yeah.
So I got up and peeked my head around the corner
into the living room.
I lived in a small one bedroom apartment.
So just around the corner of my bedroom door,
you could see my whole apartment.
I quickly locked eyes with a face
that was hovering on my front door.
Oh, wow.
Okay, so this tells me not to go looking
if I hear a strange noise.
It was pitch black, darker than the room around it,
and had red eyes.
The eyes weren't glowing,
but you could tell they were a deep red.
I slammed my door closed and ran back to my bed.
Is that you?
I know.
Also, I like that you're gonna run back
to the bed of your apartment where you're alone.
I would have flown out of that room.
Yeah, but how do you even go anywhere if it's facing the,
if it's like blocking you,
cause that's the only exit.
Yeah, I don't know what that is.
I don't know what I would do.
I would probably call 911 and be like, I'm sorry.
In a panic, I would kick out a window
and like just keep it chugging, keep it moving.
I don't know.
I'd love to see that.
I called my best friend to come over
and stay the night with me because I was so freaked out.
That's what I would do.
That sounds right actually.
I couldn't have walked out my bedroom
without someone else there.
So I have so many other stories about that apartment.
I should have done an energy cleanse when I first moved in.
Even to this day,
I still have some weird paranormal encounters.
So that's the paranormal story.
Oh, weird.
That's so scary that like maybe it unlocked something
that now you're still
having experiences to deal with that one Ouija board session.
That's also like really alarming.
The first time you use a Ouija board for it to do that is crazy.
It's like we've been waiting for you to open this bad boy.
It's like you unleash something on day one. That's like,
ever since your mom told you not to, we knew you'd come find us.
Okay. Here's their true crime story.
Oh right, I forgot it's a double whammy.
To preface, this doesn't involve me or my family,
but this happened with our neighbor and it shocked us all.
This happened in the midst of COVID.
I just had a surgery for endometriosis,
so I was in bed recovering.
All of a sudden, I noticed a lot of cop cars
and a corner van had passed the house.
Oh, a coroner.
Oh, coroner.
Yes, coroner van had passed the house.
My mom and stepdad saw them too.
So in true Christine fashion, they grabbed the dog and took him for a walk just to...
Just to passively pretend like...
Just to see what happened while they led him in the same direction as all the commotion
that sounds right when they came back they had the wildest story to tell apparently one of our
neighbors had a fight with his girlfriend that went south they had gotten into an altercation of dv
where he stabbed her to death oh my god he had called the cops on him himself around four in
the morning and he had also sustained stabbing injuries
that he admitted were self-inflicted
during the altercation.
Oh no.
He was charged with second degree murder
and promptly sent to jail.
Rumors spread like wildfire in the town
that he had dismembered her as well,
but I haven't been able to find any articles
to confirm that.
But it was still scary to realize
that that was right down the street from our house.
Please don't read this out loud so my location isn't triangulated. Oh, okay. His name is blah,
blah, blah. And his girlfriend is blah, blah, blah. I love the podcast. Hopefully there's a New
Orleans show for poor decisions. I would love to see all again. Love to the humans and fur babies.
I also hope that'd be the only like not poor decision we made.
I know.
Wow, what a tale.
I gotta say like, it is something shocking
when in your neighborhood something happens,
even if you don't really know your neighbors,
like it's so jarring to feel like,
oh, I know this, I'm safe in this community,
everything's fine and then have something
so alarming happen.
Well, then it also makes me feel really bad too
because I'm then like, oh man, like, what if I,
like, it's all the what ifs of like, I could have heard
or I could have called for help,
or while I was just sitting here fucking around on TikTok,
someone literally got murdered right next to me
and I didn't even notice,
then I just like feel like a bad human.
Even though like there's no reason for it,
I would just get in my own head about like how
you really are not that far from danger all the time. It's very very eerie
It's not cool.
But thank you for the the double story the double feature. I appreciate that. I do too.
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Make all of your cryptozoological dreams come true,
Christine, I believe in you.
Thank you.
All right, this is from, let's see, Casey.
It says, hello all, I'm Casey, she, her,
longtime listener, team both.
I love that.
Though if I had a gun to my head,
I would have to say milkshake
Yeah, I Am so stoked for the Terry town show in September. Hey, let's Friday the 13th. We had the fucking greatest time. I
Am a second. I'm really not trying to freak you out. Hello
Swear to God I'm not Hello? I swear to God.
I'm not kidding.
I swear to God, like three times now I've heard a sound.
What sound?
Like a sound.
Like, I don't know.
I'm like, I am for sure home alone.
I remember I manifested.
I said, I want to see you bust out a window.
I swear, I keep ignoring it.
And that was like- Do this. this I do this I put one headphone on
and then you can like really hear okay you're right now I'm just gonna watch you while I
read it's just in case something is a ride hang on I'm like freaking out we'll just lock
the door like I locked the door wow I don't a journey. Happy October everybody. Also, Jack, please don't put my address in the show. Don't worry.
I handled it.
Okay.
Okay.
Keep going.
Sorry.
Sorry, Casey, that your whole story is going to be punctuated by like jump scares.
Okay.
No, you could start over if you want.
That's fine.
No, no.
I wanted you to have the experience of, you know, like, you know, like, you know, like,
you know, like, you know, like, you know, like scares. OK, no, you could start over if you want. That's fine.
No, no, I wanted you to have the experience of
if I had a gun in my head.
OK, look, Shane, I have many a paranormal story,
but this one in particular sticks out.
I've been on a good handful of ghost hunts with friends and am in the mortuary business.
So when a friend of mine invited me to a ghost at a former funeral home,
I jumped at the chance.
She claimed I've always had experienced good vibes there.
So I went in not expecting anything crazy.
The owner had filled a storage closet
with all sorts of paraphernalia,
demonic idols, books, dolls, et cetera.
And at some point I volunteered to go in.
Not long afterwards,
I started to experience sharp stomach pains
and felt as though I'd entered a trance-like state almost as though I were lucid dreaming but with limited control over my own body.
Eww! I only have a vague recollection of everything afterward. I do remember overhearing one of my
friends saying that my eyes looked mean and feeling as though my response was not entirely
my own as if something else was controlling what I said and how I reacted.
Oh my God.
That was all they needed to get me out of dodge,
like yesterday.
Mind you, I'd gone into the closet laughing and joking
with my friends, having a great time.
When my friends pulled me out, I felt utterly sapped,
as though all my energy had been drained from me,
depressed and confused.
It took about 20 minutes for me to start feeling back
to normal, and I even felt off the next day.
Attached is a photo taken shortly before this happened.
Maybe it can be debunked,
but the blur over my face feels much more sinister
given my experience.
If it was indeed a possession, zero out of 10 recommended.
Take care, protect your energy.
Until I see you in September, bottoms up, Casey.
Holy shit, I'm opening this picture.
Oh no, unavailable. Tell me we saved it.
Maybe it's for the best. Maybe it's for the best.
Wait, I'm zooming in. Of course.
Okay, but the whole thing is blurry, so it's hard to see. But I don't like this. It's scaring me
a little bit. It's scaring me because she looks so happy and happy-go-lucky. And the fact that this
happened right beforehand, it's like somebody targeted you,, I guess. Oh, I don't like it.
No, thanks. Thanks. Um, thank you for that. But also thanks. No, thanks.
But also thanks. Uh, no, thank you for, for writing in, but also, yeah,
the idea of someone's like behavior or demeanor changing,
but then also their eyes, like, are you fucking kidding me?
Like to be like, that's not your face. You don't talk that way. You don't look that way.
Yeah, it really it's like someone is really like doing the plankton
inside SpongeBob's brain thing.
Forget it. Very uncanny valley. I don't enjoy it.
Well, we've got one more story for October, unless we have a surprise seventh
and someone walks into my room.
I think that could be right, because you started.
So that means you're doing odd numbers.
Oh, yes. Okay.
So I have one left,
and then you've got one left.
And then maybe we've got a surprise
if someone breaks into this house.
So there's one from me.
This is from Hillary.
He uses she, her pronouns.
Thank you for normalizing pronouns.
And the subject line is,
my dad's cousin caught her dead son on Polaroid.
So I guess he's already passed and caught a ghost.
Hello all involved with the creation and daily runnings of and that's why we drink.
These intros, you think you've seen them all.
So I'm not a CEO, I'm a CDROD-R-O-A-T-W-W-D.
I am still a bit behind the times.
I just found your podcast not too long ago in June, 2024.
Well, you've got a while until you hear this one, I guess,
and have been listening to it nonstop.
I even listened to the, I listened to you guys
the entire drive from Illinois to Denver there and back.
Thanks for keeping me awake and onto my story.
My story is short, but still kind of creepy.
This story has been told to my brother and I
by my dad several times.
This happened in the mid sixties.
A little backstory, my dad's cousin had a son named Timmy
who had hydrocephaly.
Oh, yeah.
Did I say that right?
I think so.
He was delayed cognitively and physically,
and unfortunately didn't live much through childhood.
My dad never specified his age, but said he was young,
and I would guess less than 10 when Timmy died.
Timmy, despite his age, was cognitively much younger
and my dad said that Timmy was known
to always have his favorite toy hammer.
He never went anywhere without his toy hammer
and it was always with him when he would play.
When Timmy passed away, they buried him with his hammer.
A few years after his death on Halloween,
my dad and his sister went over to their cousin's house.
Back in the day, you could only take a certain number of photos per cartridge of film. Yes,
I recall.
We're not that, I mean, oh wait, but if they're listening to 2017, we probably sound like
fucking babies.
Right, right, right. Yes. I remember.
We're old like you, don't worry.
It hurts, but it also is also complimentary that you thought you had to tell us. So.
Yeah, it is. It's like I'm offended, but it also is also complimentary that you thought you had to tell us. So. Yeah, it is.
It's like, I'm offended, but also very pleased.
But keep going.
Yeah.
Anyway, so she had a new Polaroid camera
hoping everyone knows what that is.
Oh my God, what is that going on?
Yes, okay.
She had a new Polaroid.
But now they're back.
Like now they're hip again, you know?
See, that's what you have to do.
You have to just, Hilary, you just have to wait like,
about 10 years. Like, click on
to all your old stuff.
And then write to us and it'll be trendy again.
So you don't have to explain at all.
She had a new Polaroid camera
and she wanted to finish out her Polaroid cartridge
and she had one shot left.
She asked my dad to stand in front of the garage
and she would take a picture of him.
Like just fucking get in front of the garage.
I need to use up this last picture.
Exactly, look good.
Don't waste this for me. That's such sibling energy. Just like stand there for a minute.
He smiled. She snapped the picture and they shook the image to get it to develop. They were stunned
to find that instead of my dad, instead of my dad in front of the garage, it was an image of her son,
Timmy, wearing the outfit they'd buried him in that they had bought specifically for his burial, his arms crossed over his chest,
holding his hammer.
So like an exact-
Oh my God.
An exact shot of him buried.
From the grave, oh Jesus Christ.
They have no explanation for this as his cousin
had not photographed Timmy at the funeral.
It was still a photo of the garage, but it wasn't my dad,
it was Timmy as he looked when he was buried.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
To this day, I have not seen the photo,
but I have been told it's still around.
I hope that this spooked you
as much as it's always spooked me as a kid.
Hopefully I will be all caught up soon,
still in the 200s.
Best wishes and happy haunts, Hillary.
Whoa, I have like goosebumps about that.
Wow, I can't believe, Hillary,
I would have torn my family's stuff apart to find that.
I'm glad that you're-
There's literally no way
that I wouldn't have snooped through everything.
Yeah, you have a lot more control and discipline than I do.
Anytime I'm at a family member's house
and I'm so obsessed with ancestry
and asking about my great grandparents
and never got to meet,
anytime one of them says,
oh, I have that kind of floating around.
I'm like, I'll find it tonight.
Don't fucking worry.
Like I'll climb through the rafters of your habit.
You relax, I'll find the box.
Like I won't do many things,
but if you tell me there's a hint of what my family was like
that I never got to meet,
I'll do pretty much anything.
Yeah, you and I are very similar in that way.
I don't know why, but you and I have that in common.
And it seems like a lot of people aren't as psychotically similar in that way. I don't know why, but you and I have that in common. And it seems like a lot of people
aren't as psychotically obsessed as we are.
I don't know why.
I love like, I'm like so attached to like the sentiment
of it or like the stories that got.
And I like talk to my parents and they're like,
and I'm like, what's wrong with you people?
The worst is when you have a family member
who doesn't care as much as you, but also won't relinquish.
If they have the information
and they don't care to share it.
Yeah.
I'm like, if you don't give a shit,
you clearly give a shit or you just like
asserting dominance in weird ways.
It's gotta be one of the two,
because if you don't care and you know I do,
either tell me the information or give me the thing
and I'll hold onto it and cherish it,
or just don't fucking say anything.
Like you're just, what a weird tease.
Like one of my aunts has a bunch of recipes from the family.
And it was like-
And that's not even like information
you have to keep private.
Like it's, that's a-
Well, no, cause I was like, oh, well, can I,
can I take pictures of it so I can have them too?
And then like, and it just like has yet to happen
for some reason.
And that's what I'm saying is like recipes,
it's not like, oh, they're like private materials
or like something that she doesn't want like leaked,
you know, it's like recipes.
I, it's, it just takes a, it takes a,
I do a lot of asking forgiveness and not permission
when it comes to finding out that there's an heirloom
of sorts, because if there's a copy of it,
or if I can take a picture on my phone, I'm gonna do it.
Like, I'm not gonna disturb your collection of it,
but like, let me fucking have, let me know it exists, you know?
I feel the same.
And I feel like even last year,
my mom's Christmas present was I scanned every picture
she's ever had.
Oh, we heard.
It was forever.
But like the way that that would have not fucking happened
if I asked to do it, I just had to do it and then just...
Oh, she wouldn't have handed over the picture.
She would have never handed over half of the images
I now have like at the press of a button on my phone.
And like they're all scanned, they all look pretty,
they're all like organized.
I know exactly where all of the,
every single picture from our family since the 1880s,
I now have on my phone in perfect condition.
Why wouldn't you give that up?
Why would you make that such a fuss?
So I have family members all across the board
who are like that.
I think that's a very extended family thing. Like, cause I see that in a a fuss. So I have family members all across the board who are like that. I think that's a very extended family thing. Like, I see that in a lot of...
Especially because they're getting older. I don't think they understand the ability to
digitally share things. And so when they hear, I want the recipes, for example,
they think that means you no longer have the recipes.
Well, but I also think part of it is more of a fear of like, don't just go posting this on the internet, you know?
Oh, I didn't even think about that.
At least in my family, a lot of it is like a fear
that you would share it like outside of the family
or post about it or like.
No, I don't think that's it for my family.
I think it's like people like,
they're afraid of never seeing it again
because they don't know if they'll see it again.
I think they're just,
a lot of my family is not like in tune with like tech.
So.
Interesting.
But yeah, so there's a few family members
where I have to just kind of do what I gotta do.
And then leave everything as if it was untouched
and they never know.
And then like, and that's just how it has to go sometimes.
Wow, you heard it here first folks.
You heard it here first.
I have stolen information digitally,
but you still have it, so, folks. You heard it here first. I have stolen information digitally,
but you still have it, so don't complain.
There it is.
I have stolen information digitally
sounds a lot scarier than what you're actually saying,
but okay.
I think that's what they hear when I say,
can I have grandma's recipes?
And they're like, you're gonna steal
my information digitally.
But that's what I mean.
There's a sphere of the internet.
Like where are you gonna put it?
Why is it being leaked?
You know, and it's like, that's not. Do you need to hire someone? ASAP, STAT, Vominos,
let's go. Do you? Me? I mean I thought you were talking to the listeners. Here's what I need to
tell you folks. This might shock you. I know it shocks me every time I think
about it, but Em and I are actually employers. I know. Who let us do that? Who
knows? But when we're worried about finding people quickly,
we understand the struggle.
If you're an employer who can relate,
I have one question for you.
Have you tried ZipRecruiter?
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Eva is a dream.
She's a Pisces. She likes ghosts.
How could we not hire her? ZipRecruiter, it's like a magical sorcery that happened and it
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Ziprecruiter, the smartest way to hire. No. Okay. Hello, this is from Jackie. This is called
Hello and That's Why We Drink Crew and Everyone In Between. My name is Jackie G and I have a wild,
isn't that your grandma's name?
Jackie G is, and that's a grandma by the way
who gives me shit when I ask for it.
I know, I know.
That's why I even mentioned it
because I was like, I know that's, yeah.
You know what Jackie G just gave me?
She just gave me the oldest heirloom that the family has.
What is it?
Which is a, it's in my closet right now.
It's a vase that my great, great grandma brought over from Russia.
Whoa. Yep. And she hit it under, brought to the States. Yeah. Whoa. It's like one of the only
things that she brought with her. And she was pregnant with my great grandma at the time. And
so she hit it under her pregnant belly. So nobody knew that she had it. I was going to say, how did
she keep ahold of it? That's amazing. Yep. And I got it now. See, it's like, why not share these stories?
I don't understand.
I think that's you're right.
There's like a holding onto it that people feel power in.
Yeah, I think my grandma was like,
I would rather while I'm still here
and like in control of this thing,
I would rather be in control of who it goes to
and you care the most, so.
Yeah, and tell you the story of it.
Anyway, Jackie G, what a great way to end this episode for spooky season.
I know, this is perfect.
Okay, hello and that's how we drink crew
and everyone in between, love it.
My name is Jackie G and I have a wild story for you.
Starting off, I love y'all, that's all.
And yes, you can say my name.
Well, good thing, because I already did multiple times.
Thanks, Jackie G.
So when I was listening to the April Fool's listener tales
and I got to Eva's fake story, I could have sworn
that would be one of the real stories. Because listen, when I was living in a small town in central Florida,
I was living in a neighborhood just like the one Eva described. All the houses were pretty much
small one-story homes with screened-in porches. All the streets of this neighborhood dead-ended
at a lake. Like each street was off a main road, but all the streets dead-end at this one lake.
So the house I'm about to describe, or that Eva described already, wasn't on my street but on the neighboring
street. The only way you knew about this house was if you went down the street and literally
saw it with your own eyes. Like you could not see this house from the main road that
everyone passed. A lot of the neighbors were retired old people who had lived there for
many many years and probably inherited their homes. So not a lot of activity around this
neighborhood but in between all these houses and a lot of the palm trees and trees sat a super old
Victorian house. Like this house was straight out of a Tim Burton movie. It was a light
blue two-story home with massive peaks on the roof. This house stood on at least an
acre lot at the end of the street and had one of those U-shaped driveways. It had this
super tall tower that overlooked the lake and the house had also had at least 50 windows or more so the inside was pretty much visible. The front door had a big window as well
and the porch was huge. I only experienced this house one time on a Halloween night
and it was completely covered with Halloween decorations. Like completely covered. Every
window had a lantern of some sort and the front porch was covered with animatronic Halloween
characters. I could see the inside of the house and the inside of the home was also covered with Halloween decor.
That night was me, my husband and my daughter and we were the only ones going around trick-or-treating.
Like there was literally a few other... because everyone's like senior citizens.
I know.
Like there was literally a few other trick-or-treating which was weird but whatever.
So when we approached this house we were alone and as we were walking up to this Victorian house
completely covered with Halloween decorations decorations my daughter out of nowhere
was too scared to go up to ring the doorbell. Like she was terrified all of a sudden. Maybe it was a
big animatronic character who went off for all the other hundred Halloween decorations I'm not sure.
I thought the house fit the theme of the night but my daughter was not having it. I was pretty much
dragging her onto the porch because I wanted to see inside, LOL,
but I was trying to tell her,
like, you're not going to get candy,
just come ring the doorbell, but she was so scared.
The owner of the home heard us outside
trying to ring the bell, so he came out and greeted us
and gave my daughter some candy.
Nothing weird happened, and we went on with our night.
I snapped a picture as we were walking back up the street.
It's not the best picture, but I will attach it.
We were making our way back to our house
when we decided to stop at one more house,
which was one of our neighbor's houses.
They invited us in for a chat
and the topic of the Victorian house got brought up
and they told us an almost familiar story.
They said that there's been a lot of talk about this house,
like weird stuff happening inside the home
and a woman in white who was seen near the lake
and in the windows of the home.
Supposedly there was once a family who lived here
and they had a young daughter who was sad or heartbroken
of some sort that she walked into the lake and drowned.
There's different stories about her.
Some say she was sad and did this intentionally
or that they were swimming out there and she drowned.
I'm not sure, but it is certain that people have seen her
around the lake and in the house.
Well, the story they told us was that one time
this FedEx guy, a mailman,
showed up to the house to deliver a package.
Do you remember Eva's like fake story?
No.
Oh, so this is not all ringing a bell.
Remember April Fools, we had to determine
which of the stories was fake.
Yes, I just don't remember the story specifically.
Okay, it's very, it's, well, I guess-
Very similar.
Yeah. Very quite similar. Yeah, he rang the door very, it's, well, I guess. Very similar. Yeah.
Very quite similar.
Yeah. He rang the doorbell and no one was coming to the door. So he said it seemed like
no one was home. He decided to leave the package near the door. As he turned to grab the box
and it was a big box, the door opened. He said there was a girl with a white nightgown
and he said to him that he could just place the box inside so no one would take it. Him
seeing that it was just a girl, he obliged and carried the box inside, just placing it near the front door. He said his goodbyes
and have a nice day and carried on not thinking anything strange. Later on that day, he got
called into his manager's office because there was a complaint on him. The complaint stated
that the FedEx guy let himself into their home and placed the box inside of the home
when there was nobody home. No.
That's upsetting.
No.
He took the time to explain the situation
and the manager not really believing him,
let him call the homeowner and to explain what happened
and to apologize for the misunderstanding.
As he is talking to the homeowner,
explaining how the door just opened
and how the girl he clearly saw let him in
to place the box inside, the homeowner stops him
and apologizes for the complaint
and explains that this ghost girl likes to accept parcels
and mess with visitors that come to the house.
I like how, so are they still complaining
even though like this has happened to multiple postmasters?
I was gonna say, wouldn't you know by now
what's going on?
Yeah, it sounds like-
The FedEx guy's fault.
Why are you apologizing
when clearly this is not your first?
That is crazy. That is crazy. That's trippy. Super trippy. I wonder if this is the first packet, like
maybe... Maybe the first in a while or maybe the first time it's escalated and it's like
through the door. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because like if it's locked, you'd be like, how would
you have gotten inside that such an invasion of privacy? I feel like as soon as he said,
oh, the little girl, and they would, I'm so sorry, nevermind. Stop, stop, stop right there. No need to apologize.
Nope.
Wow, what a big misunderstanding, yikes.
Da da da da da.
So when I say that Eva's story was almost spot on,
I could have bet money on Eva's fake story.
I'm like probably thinking someone else
in the neighborhood submitted it, you know?
Yeah, yeah.
Oh my gosh.
I moved away and now living in Oklahoma,
but that house still lives rent free in my mind.
I love y'all and have been listening since 2018.
Keep up the good work.
Hope to see you one day.
Much love, Jackie G.
Wow.
Well done, Jackie G.
That sounds...
Well done, Eva, and then Jackie G.
I wonder if that little girl ghost has like...
A shopping addiction?
Oh.
One, or like, I wonder if she judges
your shopping addiction.
No. And also, I wonder if,
let's say she doesn't like somebody,
do you think she makes sure that though
that mail doesn't get sent?
Well, it said she likes to take parcels,
and I'm like, like when she likes
or when she's like, that's ugly, you know?
Is it like she hides them if they're not a good fit?
Or does she like take them if she's like,
this would look, this nightgown would look great on me? Yeah. I wonder if she like if there's one guy who like who like one mailman in the area
that she thinks is like kind of cute. Oh yeah maybe it's a compliment. Because maybe she's like
only taking parcels from ones that she wants to interact with. She's like up in her tower watching
she sees the FedEx truck she's like is that a cutie pie? Is it Ben? No, it's not. Damn it.
I gotta buy another nightgown.
I wonder if it's just parcels,
like if she's like looking for like a gift for herself,
or like now with the advent of like DoorDash,
like is it all delivery people?
Like pad tie.
You know what I mean?
Like, or like Instacart,
what if someone goes to Target
and brings something from Target?
All the apples are gone, yeah.
Yeah, or I mean, Target even has toys.
Like, what if it's like, how do we know?
Like, where does the buck stop?
Talk about a racket.
She could be just what if there's a racket that she is?
She wants to maybe she wants to play paddle tennis.
I don't know.
Well, thank you, Jackie G.
Thank you, everyone, for your submissions.
And I hope everyone has a spooky Halloween, a spooky October in general.
Sounds like you already are, Em, and I'm a little worried for you, but...
Something's going on. I don't know what it is. I'm really hoping it was a squeak of my chair
or something and... Me too.
I don't need to start... I know I talked a little trash about this house earlier, but like no need
to like get about it to ghosts. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Em didn't mean it, I swear.
You know, I haven't had anything
haunted happen until this is my first day here, my first full day here, where Eva brought over Polaroids from all of our investigations. Polaroids? You say? What's that?
Well, maybe that had something to do with it. I don't know. Maybe it did. Anyway, thank you,
everyone, for your spooky stories. I hope everyone has a great October and a happy Halloween, a happy Samhain.
Happy Leona's birthday.
Happy Leona's birthday.
Happy Allison's birthday.
Happy Allison's birthday.
Anyone else?
Everyone whose birthday, if you're a Libra, happy birthday.
If you're a Scorpio, I don't want to talk to you.
If you're a herner, please stay far away from me.
Please, please, evacuate the premises.
And yeah, we'll see.
We'll see you with more stories for.
We'll see you the day after Halloween.
All when we sing our Thanksgiving song.
Yeah, all Hallows Eve or day after all Hallows Eve. Wait.
And that's why we drink.