And That's Why We Drink - Listener Stories: Volume 41

Episode Date: June 1, 2020

Happy birthday month to us! And to all you fellow Geminis out there. We've got some fun and spooky birthday-themed stories including a birthday cake curse and a dream visitation from an Oma that makes us cry and gets us reminiscing about our own paranormal grandparent encounters. We're such fruity arachnids... and that's why we drink!

happy gemini season it's our birthday month i'm not very good at um harmonizing i'm sorry it's two days from my birthday three days from yours and four days from our live show yes that's right we have one more time to promote that. So we're doing a birthday benefit bash, I think is what I'm called it. We are doing a live show on zoom. So you guys should come join us. I think the link is oh gosh, bit.ly dot at wdb day bash or slash Yeah, it's also in our Instagram bio. Don't worry. or slash yeah atwwd it's also in our instagram bio don't worry just go there oh my gosh but yeah it's going to be super fun so we're doing a live show again for people who are just hearing about this um it is through zoom it is a ten dollar donation with all 100 of the proceeds are going to covid relief and uh it is going to be super fun it has nothing to do with the here for the

booze tour so if you have tickets for that, still get tickets for this. No spoilers. No spoilers. But yeah, it's going to be fun. We're all going to hang out. Tickets should still be available. So please come. Yeah, we would love that.

And we are very excited to celebrate our birthdays with you. And we're... I got to say something. What? Okay, first of all, i have two announcements one of them one of them everyone saw on instagram last night but i'm like fucking losing my mind over what so i know you saw because you dm me like what is going on so uh forget it so my friend cc back home got me yeah oh i saw this so if you've ever listened to me on instagram i have said before like during instagram lives or

marvel mondays people have asked what my biggest fear is i fucking hate fish like i hate fish i it stops me from like going in the ocean and in lakes like i refuse to be in bodies of water with fish i literally have a fear of eating fish because i'm afraid it's gonna literally come back to life and flounder around in my stomach this is real like emma has told me this in sincere confidence before i don't know what's wrong with me it's going to literally come back to life and flounder around in my stomach. This is real. Emma has told me this in sincere confidence before. I don't know what's wrong with me. I need to probably go to like- Well, I think that's a natural phobia.

It's not. Okay. Okay. It's not normal per se, but I think- When I was three, I had a really bad fish that a goldfish ate me alive. And it's fucked with me ever since. You had a bad fish? A bad dream.

Sorry. Oh. I thought you ate some bad salmon or something no no i had a dream that a fish tried to eat me alive and it's i know that was the beginning of this well yeah i don't blame you and um but so anyway my friend cc she's known me since we were like eight years old and she knows how much i hate fish and so apparently she saw this thing on instagram and she was like you know who would hate this m and so sent it to me for my birthday and so these are my brand new favorite uh sandals they're horrific flip flops which apparently are called fish fish flops I was gonna say it's a good pun there yeah and also like

their tail like flips up so it holds your foot in and all that like a fish if you're not watching this on YouTube it's like it looks like an actual fish like shiny has gills and it's for your foot this is the green one they have different colors and they're all different types of fish like the pink one is salmon they have like a blue tuna color that's true and it definitely looks like my exact nightmare fish yeah it does look like it's gonna eat you so anyway i'm excited about that and also uh my other announcement is also a birthday thing for you which i can't tell you yet but i it's so i'm so i'm so stressed about it because it's so close to our birthdays i'm pretty sure it's not going to be done in time but that's fine oh that's

fine but in the middle of the night i made a really wild quarantine purchase for you. Oh, my God. Okay. I texted Eva about it, and I was like, I don't even know why I did this. Okay. This makes me very intrigued. But it's going to be interesting. I don't know how to explain it to you. I'm so excited. Your last gift.

Well, I don't want to reveal anything, but i think everything's in place for your birthday now oh good my i literally found this thing last night oh my god i'm getting it tomorrow i what is it just to totally throw you off i'm literally gonna rent a u-haul tomorrow and pick it up what and what and it's also it also like it's a little i don't want to say too much but it's like a random thing i saw and i was like it makes no sense it has nothing to do with christine but i'm gonna turn it into something for christine oh my god i'm so excited and nervous it was just the stupidest thing i've ever done but i'm really i've decided it has to happen now and there's no you've got me really excited i cannot wait well so we haven't decided i finished your birthday

presents like two weeks ago and i was like i am so like fucking prepared shit is handled like i think the danger most of it's already been mailed to you right you've gotten a lot i got one and blaze was like and you had put a different name on it and blaze was like i don't know who this is and i was like i don't either and we almost like sent it back you had texted me like in the middle of us moving and i was like i don't like i was like what in the world and then i just like dismissed it but since we're at a new house we just assumed it was like an old owner or something it like didn't hit right away and then i was like oh that's from em and blaze was like i don't even want to know what's going on um but yes we received one of them. But oh my gosh, this is very exciting.

We haven't, we're going to do, I think, a gift exchange for Patreon, right? Yeah. We just haven't scheduled it yet. No. But most things, that makes me a little nervous because I got notifications saying that things definitely shipped to you. Oh, shipped, maybe not delivered. Okay, we're fine.

Yeah. But I'm very excited about this weird ass thing it literally i'm telling you when i first saw it i was like i love it and i need it and i don't have any reason for it because it has nothing to do with you or me and i was like i need to i was like i need to find a reason for why this would make sense and so now i'm like using my like art skills and like trying to like what trying to make it into something that makes sense. So excited. Okay.

Well, thank you. I'm excited to see it. That's all. Anyway, welcome to our listeners episode of the month. Hello, everyone. We're going to read fun stories that you sent in. You nailed it. What?

Sorry. Sorry. No, I mean, that's basically it. That's what a listeners listener's episode is i guess but if you are new here we do this on the first of every month and you can also submit your own stories um to and that's why we drink at gmail.com or you can also uh send them through our website and that's why we drink.com and i believe sometimes we i mean i mean, yes, I sometimes force themes into the episodes. But I believe this time we picked, we just yelled birthday. So Eva found birthday stories. Yeah, it's Gemini season. There was no other way this was going to happen. Always expect

once a year, there will be a birthday theme. We'll get through it together, everyone. Don't worry. So, and Eva said that there is a bonus episode or a bonus uh story at the end of this episode okay excited so i'll start off the first story is from excuse me tori she her pronouns thank you for normalizing pronouns um and the subject is birthday cakes get messed up by ghost ghost okay that's a very birthday yeah on point on theme very on brand so uh tori says hi and that's why we drink family since you asked for birth for party themed stories oh maybe that's what we did oh sure theme story i thought i'd share my family's ghostly tradition ever since i was a little kid i have never really had a nice perfect birthday cake

and they always get crushed or they topple over somehow oh sounds like a cursed cake yeah um one instance that really stands out to me is my birthday i think i was maybe 10 or so and my mom and i were at the grocery store picking out a cake for my birthday the next day as we were standing in the checkout line my cake which was well within the cart and couldn't have slid out lifted itself and fell onto the floor still in the carton what okay this this is when i first remember my mom telling me about our cake curse um apparently my grandmother used to drop birthday cakes all the time and so every so every year our birthday cakes get messed up one way or another and if don't get messed up, we specifically screw them up by stabbing them with forks because apparently it's good luck for us. Oh, that's cute. So if a cake gets messed up, it's my grandmother

dropping it to say, Hey, and wish you a happy birthday. It's like, I mean, that's why I remember that time. No, that birthday accidentally. Well, it was intentional I I dropped it now for good luck you literally dropped it right into my lap and said did you want to eat that which apparently meant good luck yes uh you're welcome the best part is that they are still in the carton when they fall so you can still eat it well yours wasn't quite like that i guess no mine literally fell into my lap which thanks to your house also was covered in dog fur so i basically ate a geo cake afterwards uh i mean try to stop me from eating my birthday cake off the floor okay true well yeah anyway i love listening to your podcast i'm and i'm working while i'm working while i'm

working and it's one of the things that reminds me of the uh of the day of the week in the quarantine where time is a construct stay safe and healthy your fellow gemini tori oh happy birthday tori whenever your birthday is first of all and second of all um i love the idea that even if the cake doesn't fall you like uh intentionally yeah you're like if i don't mess it up something different's gonna be wrong so i might as well just ruin this i fully understand that logic truly and that in that case you might as well just start doing like smash cakes on purpose like you know how you give a like a baby a cake and like they like smash it you should just as an adult you should just have don't we all want an excuse to do that anyway so there you go i wonder if you said like out loud to the world like hey

i'm going to destroy this cake would they step aside and let you do it and not ruin your cake like would they be like my turn my turn i don't know it'd be a fun scientific experiment definitely based in science definitely scientific thank you tori thank you tori all right so i have an email from shana who uses she her pronouns thank you for normalizing pronouns in 2020 shana um to use m's quote so this uh email the subject is birthday listener story two gemini's and a black hole okay cool sounds like when we're in a house together the black hole just forms between us and the rest of the world falls into it that's we should just call your like we should just call the studio the void it is pretty much a void things do just tend

to disappear in there um okay so this says to christine m eva and all other animate and inanimate creatures within this creepy podcast realm. Mama. My name is Shaina and I'm coming at you from M's dearly beloved northern neighborhood, Toronto, Canada. I love you. I just finished getting caught up on the podcast

and it couldn't have come at a better time as we entered the Gemini season. I've wanted to submit this story for quite some time, but I wanted to be up to date first. It's truly more than coincidence that a birthday listener story request was announced. So let's jump into it. Oh, like a black hole? I don't know. There's quotes around jump.

I'd like to tell you the story of my older sister and her childhood best friend who were both born in the month of June, one day apart from each other. That sounds familiar, Em. Wait a minute. Okay. They were inseparable in a love-hate kind of way. Wait a minute. Hang on a second.

This is about me. Are you writing our biography for us? We just assume everyone's talking about us in a love-hate kind of way, or so I'm told. Before I go any further, some information on my family. My mother raised us as Wiccans, and that came with a childhood full of rituals, of rituals, prayers, spells, a love for moon phases, and respective energies, and a belief in ghosts. Sorry, respective energies, and a belief in ghosts, residual energies from haunted souls, and a world beyond the one we know. My mother was never shy to tell this story to me and my other siblings, as she believed we were more powerful together. Parentheses.

My life was just a sequel to Practical Magic, okay? I was going to say, it sounds like a great fucking life. It does. My older sister, we'll call her Elle, and her friend, we'll call her Esther, were celebrating their third birthdays at Esther's family's townhouse. My mom, dad, and Esther's parents were all sitting around the kitchen table chatting away while Elle and Esther ran up and down a long, narrow, nearby hallway. They would run to the table and run as fast as they could to the end of the hallway where there stood a tall, wide mirror. They'd pause at the mirror each time to make a silly face before running back to the table to do it all over again. This also sounds like us, Em.

I mean, give me a mirror and I'm definitely going to do some weird vanity shit with it. And we're going to stare at ourselves yep on the last instance on i'm sorry on the last instance of getting back to the table something caused the entire energy in the room to shift the adults stopped talking sound seemed to disappear and esther halted running abruptly each person looked to the mirror at the end of the hall where my sister Elle was heading toward in a full-on sprint. What greeted them was a black, swirling mass that was taking over the entire mirror. Everyone watched in silence as Elle got closer to the swirling mass. My mother suddenly screamed her name and told her to stop, and she did.

The voice cutting through the silence seemed to bring everything back to normal because the swirling mass was gone and everyone seemed to break out of the trance that the mass had brought with it. Ew. I'm sorry. I have like. Pass. Shivers. Pass. Pass.

The mass is still to this day described as a potential portal to somewhere unknown and it brought with it a paralyzing effect on everyone except my sister who was joyfully running straight for it. Uh-oh. She's the evil one. I know. I'm like careful with her. The idea that she was the only one unaffected by the paralysis could have

meant that the portal was only meant for her. Okay. This is creeping me out. Absolutely not. Oh my God. Absolutely. This is horrible. Look at,

I don't know if you can see my goose cam. I want to go back to zoom. Oh yeah. I have it too. Like big oh my god okay um it could have meant that the portal was only meant for her and had specifically intended to bring her in only the thought of what would have happened if she didn't stop running still crosses my mind esther's family refused to believe in any kind of this stuff and the families drifted apart pretty soon afterwards. My dad has always been skeptical and will voice when he thinks something is ridiculous, but when the story is being told, he doesn't like to be around. He'll just get quiet and leave the room. Elle doesn't remember any of this, but we all believe something dark and inexplicable could have happened that day. I thought this could be a fun addition to

the mirror stories paired with an additional healthy dose of birthday shenanigans. I'm now in my late twenties and I live alone. And at this point mirrors haven't been something I've feared, just something I've been curious about. I hope you all have amazing birthdays. I know all too well what a birthday in self-isolation feels like. And honestly, if you're a bit of a homebody, they're actually pretty great.

I have tickets to your Toronto show. So I can't wait to see you guys when you come to Canada, sincerely spooky Shana team. Yikes. Ooh, that was extra creepy. I can't wait to see you guys when you come to Canada sincerely spooky Shana team wine yikes oh that was extra creepy I don't know why the oh the the like meant for her thing I I gotta be honest I hate that story i i like that is just terrifying like that it it's particularly sought out a certain person in the group or maybe that person's more like like vulnerable or easily swayed to the dark side or something i mean i don't know what's going on but it's creepy it is because especially since they had been running toward that mirror over and over again the fact that it appeared

like right at that moment while she was running toward it it was like it had been sitting there in wait this whole time and also it makes you wonder like if that if they hadn't noticed or like hadn't said something like i wonder if something really wild would have happened and we don't even know we wouldn't have even known what i don't know it's just so creepy when i tell you i never want to be around that mirror i mean it so for that child for a child um okay next is uh from katie and uh kate the title to this is close to birthday dream visitation katie says hello christine m eva geo juni lemon and the rest of the podcast pals we really have built up quite a ensemble getting really long uh my name is katie naius they them pronouns oh love a good baby thank you for normalizing pronouns you baby and thank you for being a baby yeah big baby okay

uh i don't know if you typically count dream visitations in but here's my not necessarily spooky story yeah exactly yes 100 um here's my not necessarily spooky story just gonna knuckle and buckle right on in winning all sorts of points with me like you really like are trying to just hit this pedestal at all turns okay my watch just said are you still working out and i was like i was literally never working out i don't know why you think that of me like are you still having heart palpitations probably my heart yeah for context my oma oma or ama probably oma yeah um my stepmom her grandkids call her ama so oh interesting uh for context my oma passed in 2007 she was the third to pass in three years on my mom's side and my opa okay my opa passed in 2005 and one of my

uncles passed in 2006 wow okay so everyone's passed on uh it's also not really relevant but this is the american side of my family they were were the first grandparents I met, and I was a little German baby when I met them. So they became Oma and Opa. A little German baby. God damn it. It's like our love child. It really is. And we're Oma and Opa.

Wait a minute. I cannot wait to be an Opa. Okay. Quick fast forward to 2018, and I'll spare the details, but 2013 to 2017 was a really rough period of my life, and I was in the slow process of recovering. My birthday is at the end of August. Quick shout out to fellow Virgos.

And I had been really missing my OMA more than usual. So I was wishing that I could talk to her again and get her advice and when she and what she thought of me and the situations that happened in the previous years. I had had dreams about her before, but it was and still is incredibly rare. One had happened the night of her funeral and the other happened sometime in 2008. The dream that occurred the night of her funeral was the only time I've heard her talk in a dream in the, in the time since I just sensed her presence. Okay. Um, I had the dream the day before, but my, or I had the dream the day before my birthday in 2018 in the dream,

I was in my parents' house and I took a picture of their backyard on my cell phone. I put my cell phone away and went on about my business. Later in the dream, I pulled my cell phone back out to show someone a meme or something. But that picture was the first in my camera roll. The picture showed how my parents' backyards looked generic patio set with a grill and the grass and the trees behind it. But my Oma was sitting in one of the chairs where she hadn't been when I took the pictures my oma also had a had a dog named fancy um when i was a kid who was a glorious fluffy mutt whose butt curtain is only rivaled by geos uh fancy had his head in my oma's lap and my oma had been petting him in the picture the person who i wanted to show the meme to looked me in my eyes and said your

oma wanted me to tell you that she's so incredibly proud of you and that she loves you so much and she'll never stop loving you wow okay we got mirror stories grandparent stories like everything we've ever requested is coming in now also like, it's offensive that they think I can just get through these stories with things like that. It's really rude, Eva. Let's just blame Eva. I don't remember if there was anything after that in the dream, but I woke up crying that morning, and I actually spent the whole day incredibly emotional and joked with a friend that I needed a sign around my neck that said, fragile handle with a care. Oh, my God. I don't blame you.

Oh, my gosh that um i've had one other dream with her since it happened since uh it happened somewhere around new year's this year once again i took a picture in the dream but this time it was a selfie of me and my mom in front of the christmas tree and my oma appeared in that picture sometimes i feel like i'm crazy but the dreams have a feeling to to them that they're more than just dreams. Just to wrap things back around, I have seen and felt other family members who have passed. Occasionally when I'm passing a room, I'll see my Opa sitting in a chair with his cane next to it. Whoa.

I've smelled the mixture of my uncle's cologne and cigarettes in moments of panic sometimes, like he's there to calm me down. I don't necessarily have any religious beliefs, but I do believe in spirits, reincarnation, that kind of jazz. And it's comforting to have that verification that love extends outside of our physical existence. Why are you an exceptional writer? Okay, I hope this was coherent.

I've been teary-eyed and sniffling while writing this because I've never told anyone the full story and it still makes me incredibly emotional to this day. I do have some other stories that I can send in one day, but unfortunately they're not as wholesome. Yikes. I believe they're goose cam worthy, they said. Yes, this one was too. I love the podcast.

I've been listening since early 2018. Hope you're all safe and healthy during this time. Much love and respect, Katie. Listening since early 2018. Hope you're all safe and healthy during this time. Much love and respect, Katie. And also, like, I think it's hysterical that their grandma or their Oma, like, is like the cool Oma who's like, I'm going to show up in dreams, but only technological ones. Only in a selfie. Only in the selfie game.

With my dog, also. Right. Also, me and Fancy are like. And on the patio furniture. Me and Fancy are here to totally like step on your necks when it comes to these selfies like i feel like that's such like a linda move to be like you'll find me on the patio if you need me it's like you know where to find me don't you worry i love that i've had dreams about my oma and opa and like only the two of them nobody none

of my other grandparents or sub-grandparents but there's like a specific feeling to them that feels like different. Sometimes. I had a dream once that my grandpa visited me in, which was interesting because he had always, whenever he has shown himself to my mom, he's always shown up in her dreams. And my mom has sworn that it only happens when she's in like wild, you know, distress or something. And she just really needs her dad to talk to her. And so she like thinks about him before she goes to bed. She'll have a dream where he shows up and she swears it feels like they just caught up. Like it didn't feel like he didn't feel like it was a dream.

It felt like she was really like meeting him at a coffee shop and just hanging out with him. And then she wakes up feeling a thousand times better. Yeah. I was always jealous of that. So I was, I've always been like, Grandpa, why don't you show up in my dreams? Like, what is going on? And he never would. And I would like beg for it for years.

And then the only time it happened was the day I graduated college. And apparently that was like the one thing that he always wanted for his grandkids was for them to go to college or at least for to see one of them graduate so anyway what did he say he said i'm proud of you kid wait didn't that happen and when i did that akashic reading thing and i said he called you kid and yeah like uh that happened in a dream he died when i was seven so i don't really remember him or him calling me kid. I like wouldn't have, I have no recollection of that, but I told my mom and she said that that's what he used to call people.

Oh my goodness. But so he was like massive. He was like this, like, like built out dude and like a black t-shirt. And I remember he, he gave me a big hug and he went, I'm proud of you kid.

And that was the whole dream. I was like, thanks for finally showing up anyway. There you are. I had a dream about my grandma and grandpa once, or my Oma and Opa, but my grandpa had died and my grandmother was still alive at this point. And in the dream, he was like real and she wasn't. Like she was sort of like a dream character.

And he was like, I'm real. Like I'm talking to you, but she's just here as part of your like, it was so wild. And weird. They were like, he hugged me and she hugged me, but like, he was actually there. It felt like he was actually a person I'm talking, I was talking to. And my grandma was just kind of like part of my subconscious. It was the weirdest feeling ever. I like how he was like, yeah, yeah, yeah. She's here too. He's like, you made her up. It's like, it's like he muted her and was like, you and I will talk. And actually that was the dream where he said he said she'll be joining me soon.

And she died like the next year. But it was like very weird. What? Because he was, I don't even know how to describe it. But it was like he was real and I was real. And then she was not. It was just strange. Anyway.

Wow. If I go first, I'm going to ruin your fucking dream. You are. I'm never going to sleep again. I'm going to be like, don't worry. Like, if you were sad, I'm here to just make you mad every day. Like you're never going to sleep again. We're just going to go on adventures in my, in my dreams. Right. I already take Z-Quil because I can't sleep. That is not going to help me very much. I'm going to be like double up. I know. I'm melatonin. Okay. Anyway, enough about me.

Let's read a story from Kat, who uses she, her pronouns. This is an email called, a psychic in training told me I'm psychic, dot, dot, dot, don't tell my mom. Okay. Hi, everyone. Please forgive any typos. I'm writing this at 1.20 a.m. on a work night, and my sleep pattern is all sorts of cattywumpus. Yes. Okay.

Oh, that got me. I left my glasses in a different room, but I don't feel like getting them. Correct. I feel that also. So I did something that, as a good Catholic girl, I'm not supposed to. On my birthday adventure a couple years ago, two friends and I were in the city and decided to go see a psychic. We didn't call ahead. We just saw a little girl putting a sign outside of her building and propping the door open.

She was waiting at the top of the staircase to her grandma's apartment. She stared at me the whole time, which I'm used to because I'm under four feet tall. I use a wheelchair. And when I do walk, I waddle. So I went back to get my reading, which bothered. Oh, sorry. So I went back to get my my reading which bordered on generic until the woman asked me how i was dealing with the passing of my friend's mom which she couldn't

have known beforehand then she asked me if the presence around me is someone i know or a stranger which was really weird because my sisters and i inherited a stereo system oh sorry my sisters and i inherited a stereo system we were woken up at 3 a.m on four random nights with the radio on full blast like it was on 11 ever since we got that goddamn radio things went missing only to pop up again a few days later i was trying to apply for my passport but my birth certificate was missing i found it in my sheets six months later oh no then there was my there was my personal favorite. My dog, who was so naughty as a puppy, I now lovingly refer to her as my cute little hell beast, would sit and stare just over my shoulder like there was something standing behind me.

Oh, Christ. Well, no wonder you call them the hell beast. Yeah, exactly. Staring into the void, being like, hello. Looking at the portal to hell. And we were the only ones in the house the psychic told me that i needed to tell it to leave or at least to calm its shit because we won't stand for a malignant presence in my house she also told me to keep some holy water handy when it was my friend's turn i waited out in the living room with a little girl while she

gave my other friend a discounted reading she said she was being trained by her grandma and hoped to be as good as her someday that is precious by the way i love that i know then she asked me uh if my mom or grandmom was training me my friend and i were like the fuck the little girl said that her grandma told her to go open the door because they were getting some special visitors oh sorry that just creeped me out i hate that oh my god the girl if a psychic just came up to me and said uh open the door you have some visitors or i guess the the little kid that's worse if a little kid is like go open the door there's some visitors i'd be like i will triple lock that door thank you some special visitors oh god god oh. God. Oh, my gosh. Okay.

The little girl apologized for staring at me, but when she saw me on the steps, she could tell I have the gift, too. Good night. She said that I probably didn't know it yet, but she could tell that I was empathic and could see things others can't. She said I probably didn't know it yet because I didn't have a teacher, but she was willing to bet I wasn't the only one in my family. I'm not going to lie. It weirded me out a little. I've always been empathetic when it comes to people, but the older I get, the more affected I get by others. My boss recently told me I have an uncanny ability to calm and reassure people. She legit asked if I was an empath. I also get deja vu a lot. Sometimes I'm convinced I dreamed of some small thing a few nights before it happens. My mom loves to tell the story about how until I was about five she would walk in on me holding a

conversation with my grandpa who passed away when i was two oh my when my friends call me with engagement or baby news i usually know the day before i am three for three when it comes to the ring on a string thing for predicting the sex of a baby the girl was right that i'm not the only weird one in my family until the day he died my grandpa swore he could see deceased family members and was even saved by them a few times my mom used to know when my sister and or i were going to have a medical emergency before it happened she said she prayed that gift away or suppressed it because who the hell wants to know their kid is going to get hurt beforehand and not be able to do anything to prevent it although she conveniently forgets about that ability allegedly my grandpa's mom had some oddities too but no one really talks about them maybe the girl

is right and i'm gifted or maybe i'm just weird either way my friends and i now joke that i am certifiably gifted update on the radio ghost we named him steve i told him to get his shit together or hit the road because we were tired of his shit he calmed down with the radio and when he stole things it was only for a few hours he also stopped annoying my dog my sisters i moved about six months ago and he didn't take the radio and we didn't take the radio with us so far no signs of steve but now when we can't find things we're still in the habit of yelling, God damn it, Steve, give that shit back or I'm getting the house blessed. Oh my God. Thank you, Pat. That's wild. I'm going to just take a shot in the dark here and assume that you're gifted. Yeah, we're going to, we know what we decided already.

It just sounds like you, it's too genetically possible for you. It seems like you've inherited something. And the fact that they knew you were coming before you even arrived, just listen. Yikes. I mean, you sound like you would use these gifts for good. But it also terrifies me that like everyone in your family is like, oh, yeah, just two dead people. It's fine. I know they're going to break their leg tomorrow.

Don't worry. Okay. My next story is from Hley who uses she her pronouns thank you for normalizing pronouns uh hayley's uh topic is sweet 16 seances hell yeah so hayley says hi i'm christine eva and the whole fruity arachnid crew sorry that's the fruity arachnid we're such fruity arachnid crew. Sorry, that's the fruity arachnid. We're such fruity arachnids. I think we like just found our team name. Yeah, that's a great band name, by the way. The fruity arachnids.

So you you requested birthday stories. So I decided to share the story of my sweet 16 plus maybe a little bonus story. So let's throw it back to the year 2008. Oh, so pretty sure you're my age because my 16th was 2008 um yep that okay yep that means i am a 1992 baby i was like i figured it out could have just finished the sentence okay um that's not how we roll i had a i am a cancer but my favorite but my favorite holiday is Halloween. Sorry.

This is Gio's first barking appearance in the new house. I'm so sorry. And it's empty, so it echoes like hell. Does this come out before or after Sunday? I believe it comes out Monday. Okay. I checked to make sure I didn't, like, spoil anything. Gotcha.

Okay. Yeah. If you haven't heard the big news, maybe go listen to this week's episode because something pretty wild happened to christine if you're on youtube you can see a very empty room she's sitting in the pretty arachnids have taken over cincinnati did you take skylar with you that's the real question oh my god oh probably he's probably somewhere in my boxes. Now Skylar's going to be like the ghost of your past house who still watches over the property.

Okay. I am a Cancer, but my favorite holiday is Halloween. So for several years in high school, I would wait to have my birthday party and throw a big Halloween party and said, God damn it. I wish I was your friend. That's so brilliant. This year we had a scavenger hunt, just an excuse to trickor-treat since we're too old quote as some would say but after a night filled with treats and goodies we came back to my house and decided to use my mom's

old ouija board oh now i'm glad i was not there jealous christine still wants to be your buddy for sure uh i had used it once before and my friend had totally messed it up and cheated so i didn't have very high hopes everyone in the group seemed very serious so when we got a response we began asking questions and the number one question on my mind was would i get to meet my favorite band at the concert i was going to the fruity arachnids wait a minute we never met you so i don't think this or out well for you. Or did we? Oh. Throwback to 2000s pop punk, I was obsessed with Never Shout Never. That's the band I'm trying to learn the ukulele songs from.

Oh. Oh, Blaze just is delivering something. Oh. Who sent me champagne? Renee. Oh, sorry. Not Em, because not me. Sorry, folks. Blaze brought like a really fucking

fancy ass bottle of champagne i guess that was delivered by renee i'm sorry this oh i don't want to tell you my neighborhood liquor store but there it is if you if you recognize that logo oh my god this is fancy look at this bad boy oh she's a beaut nice what was that for your b-day i think it's for the new house oh yeah welcome to the neighborhood oh wait oh my god no it's literally it's not even renee it's renee at the party source it's um someone named renee who works at the liquor store that i ordered booze from yesterday oh the one who wait so the person who wait okay sorry i'm really confused um sorry so remember how i said on yesterday's episode that somebody named holly recognized me while they

were delivering booze so i guess i don't know they must know we moved here or something. So Holly, like, on her own then sent you champagne? I guess, or the store did, because I don't know who Renee is, but. I'm sure Holly, who works there, said my favorite podcaster now lives in this location. So shout out to the party source. This is like all growing up. My parents would always shop there. And now I'm like shopping there. It's very weird.

Anyway, I'm so sorry for that interruption although holly like this is like a once in a lifetime because holly sent you mail that is now being found like on the show like well this is weird unless this i mean this may have been from renee and they just wrote the gift note i don't know i'll i'll ask i'll figure it out i'm sure you'll run into holly again i'm sure you'll be ordering drizzly more. I'm sure that I'll be ordering more booze. Yeah. I'm sorry to just totally delay or derail the conversation.

No, no, no. You're good. Basically, Haley was wondering if they were going to meet Christopher Drew, by the way, who is the artist from Never Shot Never. I did not know that. I was obsessed with Never Shot Never. Really? In college.

They were. I love them so much okay uh the spirit said i would and spoiler i did no never never okay back to the story we came in contact with a spirit whom we asked many questions who are you uh when were you born how did you die etc my friends and i I were all on the dance team in high school. And as we learned more about the spirit, we found out that she had gone to the same high school and was on the same dance team as us about 10 years prior, but had died. I totally thought one of my friends was messing around again. But we had a full uninterrupted conversation with the spirit. And it was undeniably a spirit. I never experienced anything anything like that the session ended with my dad walking up the back window next to where we were

sitting in the pitch black and scaring us that's a very dad move huh yeah it literally says in such a dad thing oh and then i just can't read ahead we just decide to make our own statements the next week we asked our team coach and she confirmed the name and death of a former dance team member just like the ouija board had said i cannot believe it i did some googling and found out that she had been in a car accident and so many of the little details she had said were true her name graduation year everything um wow this day my friends swear they didn't cheat and it was in fact real yikes bonus story aka my astral projection story a few months ago my best friend was getting married in a city a few hours away my boyfriend and i left that friday and stayed

overnight in a hotel the night before the wedding and that night i had a dream quote dream i was back in my bedroom at my house we sleep in the master bedroom which has windows looking out over the roof of the family home on the main floor and my uh in my dream there was a huge storm with high winds i was awake in bed um in my dream uh looking out those windows seeing the trees sway and worrying that one of them would fall on the house i wasn't startled awake uh or i was startled to wake back in my bed in the hotel. The dream was so vivid as if I was there. The next morning, myself and the other bridesmaids were getting our hair and makeup done.

When my boyfriend came into the room we were getting ready in and showed me a picture that our neighbor sent him of a tree that had fallen on the house exactly where I was in my dream. I was in shock. I didn't even look at the weather before we left and had no idea there would be a storm. What the hell? Yikes. My whole life, I have had premonitions, mostly knowing when someone was close to passing away, like my great grandma, great great aunt, grandma and grandpa. But I think this was the first time I had astral projected. I also recently had a lucid dream for the first time a few months ago. But that's another story. Hopefully this is a good length. I love the long stories and hate for

people hate when people apologize for their stories being long because more times than not, I wish they were longer. Anyway, have a wonderful day out there you boozers and shakers Haley. Wow. Can I just now go ahead and say I love dream stories and i know we had like two now can do you guys have astral projection stories because i have some from my family so if you guys send your astral projection stories i can share one of mine and all right that's that's the theme yeah i'm back in my groove baby if it wasn't going to be that then it would have just been like more birthday stories but anyway yes thank yes. Thank you, Haley, for your story. Oh, your turn.

Oh, right. I'm like, anyway, what's next? I'm like waiting for you to entertain me. Anyway, how you doing? Sing, monkey, sing, dance, monkey, dance. Oh, listen, give us enough seconds and we'll both start talking about ourselves. So I just assumed. Okay. So I have one story. Who is that from? Sorry.

That is from Haley. So Haley, I'm sorry. This one's pretty short. It looks like, but I'm sure it's lovely. This is from Clem. He uses she, her pronouns. And the subject is birthday wishes from beyond the grave. Okay.

It says, hi, everyone. And that's why I drink. My story is about the most amazing person to ever have come into my life my mom oh okay well i'm sure you're second place i'm sure you're tied for first it's okay um she was the third oldest in a family of 12 kids and was the rock of our whole family coming from such a large family my mom became kind of a second mother to her younger siblings as tends to happen. My youngest aunt, who is only 10 years older than I am,

was considered my mom's first daughter, and she used to joke that she was her daughter until I came along. In September of 2011, my mom passed away from a sudden stroke. Oh no, I'm sorry. Which obviously was a hard hit for our family. Forward to April of 2012,

we were out celebrating my youngest aunt's birthday at a pizza place with our family. And I noticed my aunts whispering back and forth to each other and staring at me. I finally asked what's going on. My aunt was like, well, I got a missed call today while I was in the shower. My initial response was like, big deal. Then she told me the call was from my mom's phone. Okay. I told her that isn't possible. We shut off the line to the phone back in October of 2011. And whenever you try to call said number, all you get is white noise. Sure as shit, my aunt showed me the missed incoming call on her phone with the current date, which was my aunt's birthday, and my mom's name and phone number. birthday and my mom's name and phone number. Whenever I tell people the story, they all say,

well, maybe it was a butt dial, but my mom's flip phone had been sitting in the bottom of my dresser or so sorry, had been sitting in my bottom dresser uncharged since October, 2011. Other people say, well, maybe whoever has the number now accidentally called my aunt, but what are the chances of a complete stranger having my mom's old number and my aunt's phone number to this date whenever it is any of our birthdays we all just kind of have a chuckle and ask if mom called maybe kind of morbid but my mom would have found the humor in the joke oh thanks clem that's such a crazy story to have the call happen on your birthday i've i feel like we've gotten some stories of that before where it's like a big day for someone and then someone that mattered that passed like called them or like a letter got sent to them or like some weird impossible thing happened. It's like a coincidence. But like what are the odds that it's a coincidence are so much wilder than if it were actually a meaningful experience because like somebody would have had to get the new phone number, to misdial happened to misdial on that person's birthday i mean it's just like

so crazy oh wow well that's really cool so yeah i think it's your mom oh it's for sure your mom that's been decided already duh whether or not you wanted it to be that's our call so uh i think this is our last one yes is this the bonus this is the bonus one okay and it has nothing to do with birthdays apparently this is from melissa uh this apparently is not melissa's real name so we're getting a a fun little pseudonym anonymous yeah and non who goes by she, her pronouns. So thank you. Okay, we're cracking the case one step at a time.

We have broken it down to like kind of almost 50%. Really 33% if we're including non-binaries. So we're about a third way into this case. Got it. Okay. Where are we? Okay, the subject line, sorry. I definitely lost track of who I was and where I was. Me too.

Okay, so Melissa, she her pronouns. And the subject line is, I worked for the Church of Scientology. Okay. Oh, well, Eva's been doing Scientology bonuses lately. I'm into it. well he even has been doing scientology bonuses lately i'm into it i'm feeling i'm feeling it i'm like very okay sorry i'm getting i'm getting worked up what the hell so i i just finished the last season of leah remedy's church scientology so i'm like i saw this and like my heart got like kind of swollen i was like okay anyway i'm very excited about this and it's kind of long yay okay hey podcast crew and pups so i guess juniper is not i call i call him a pup all the time i call them my dogs because i get i just it's easier so perfect so uh just wanted to start this off by saying thank you for all that you do i absolutely love the podcast and hope to go to a show one day hashtag team wine but i love

a good milkshake thank you uh with that being said i know christine has a fascination with scientology uh so i thought so i thought i would share my long but detailed story of my couple experiences with the cult both times my interactions with scientology were through a program called Narconon. And this is a drug and alcohol rehab center that is based off of L. Ron Hubbard's work and is closely affiliated with the church. When I was 19. Oh, oh my goodness. Hey, he's screaming for help.

He's like, take me back to LA. I'm sorry about that. I will take this moment to say Renee did send me that wine. Sorry, I feel like I like took her credit away. When I was 19, my family sent me this program in California, I was a heroin addict, and I had been I had been to roughly six other rehab centers, although they were not aware it was based on Scientology at the time. So I guess this was just like the seventh rehab center. They're trying to be sneaky. This program was not afraid to say it was based on Scientology once you got there.

But to get you in the door, they always tried to keep it a secret. And I struggled through this program and got in a ton of trouble. I had roughly 20 ethics cycles when you get in, this is apparently when you get in trouble and they make you do manual labor. Holy shit. Okay. First of all, I would have 20 ethics cycles as well. Um, I think I'd have more. And the program took me six months to complete. I will say, I will say this so it makes sense later down the road. They have something called a sauna program. And although some people believe it is quite dangerous, which I imagine it could be for me, it was extremely beneficial to get my mind and body back to a place that felt good again.

After being an addict for five years. With that being said, I graduated, left the program, and relapsed fucking hard, spent the next three years in and out of jail and using. Fast forward to 22, and I'm facing some crazy drug charges, and I'm given the option to go to rehab again. Don't ask me why, but I called the Narconon implant to go back to the Scientology-based program because I remembered how great the New Life Detox, or sauna, made me feel. I get to the program and check in and fall in love with the man who checked me in, and he was the most beautiful person I'd ever seen.

That's one way to get you into a cult. I mean, they definitely did it right. They just put the handsome man right there. Work on me. I completed my program and chose to stay there as an intern, and I knew there was no way I could go back home and stay sober. And they gave interns free room and board and food in exchange to work 12 to 16 hours a day every day for six months without a single day off.

And no, they do not pay you. What? That is some coffee shit. You aren't allowed to date during this time either. So I'm just hardcore crushing on my future husband. I finally become a staff member. That is some Kofi shit. You aren't allowed to date during this time either. So I'm just hardcore crushing on my future husband. I finally become a staff member. He asks me out on a date.

I say yes. And we didn't tell the staff at Narconon because we like to keep our relationships personal. And he ends up spending the night at my house that same week. And of course they find out. Oh my gosh. Okay. I need to know how they found out. That's so fucked up. Melissa, this is like the most dramatic story ever. This is the wildest ride. Okay. You should have like a bonus season on Leah Remini's show. I'm like so curious. Wait a minute. Oh my gosh. Okay. Hang on. Oh my gosh. Hang on. Where are we? Hang on.

Oh, they found out. Okay out okay sorry i like just got so enticed i get pulled into the ceo's office where she screams at me and calls me a slut classic shame right um proceeds to ask me if i even know him or like him and i'm like yeah no shit lady they already had they already had a vendetta against me because I wasn't a Scientologist. And they try to take ex-addicts with nothing and give them internships, which immediately puts them onto the bridge to Scientology. So they made me pack a bag and told me I had to go to their sister center a few states over and do a major ethics cycle. Oh, God. And then i could come back so i do it and surprise surprise it's absolute fucking torture and they made this cycle last

months working 18 hour days um and writing handwritten statements of wrongdoings that they save later and put in your folder and manual labor no phone and no privileges only to be told i am never going back so they like basically trapped they trapped melissa here and trick yeah took her phone you're not going anywhere also making her like write like her personal list of like dirty secrets and like every reason they use that against you later oh they have like blackmail oh so at this point i'm a year clean and i'm like fuck this and i'm planning my escape but i can't even use a phone to speak to my family without someone listening and i can't and can't speak to her family without someone listening i asked them if i could go pack

up my apartment um and they said they would have someone do it for me, which really upset me having all these people go through all my personal stuff, not to mention the most sentimental item that I had asked specifically for never made it back. Eventually I snapped. I didn't know what was going on with my future and I was tired of the mind games.

They made up rumors that I was sleeping with people to try and tell my future husband that I was basically just some horny chick and didn't even like him. So I guess get him away from her. So I cussed out a couple of my coworkers and booked my flight. Side note, they hadn't paid me in three months. And even though I lost my privileges,

I was supposed to get paid. Fuck. This is when the Leah Remini special came out so the center was struggling because Leah Remini was like sure yeah bad image bad PR I made it back home safely and even though they told me I would fail I have been sober since coming up on four years this October and my future husband reached out to me a month after I left and we moved in together and have been together since sorry this is so long i've been meaning to write it all out for a while love you guys and thank you eva for reading this hot mess of a story holy i thought that was being facetious you're actually together still nope

they're like straight up together this is the first of all shit okay first of all you got yourself your man one two man you're hot man four you are like or two you're four years clean now that's incredible by the way brava also you escaped a cult like what the f can you write a book this is the book this is the beginning of the book i can't wait i just read like the the intro yeah the pre the prelude the pre what's it called the prequel no what's wrong with me the note of by the author whatever um this was really crazy dude anyway melissa slash someone in one third of the demographics of the universe. I don't know who you are. We will crack the case. And then we won't tell anyone either. But I just want to give you a big fat hug.

Seriously, this is a crazy tale. Well, I'm just it sounds like you really came out on the complete other side on the up and up. So I'm very, very happy for you. And then you found our podcast. That's like the highest achievement. Oh, yeah, you fell a little and up. So I'm very, very happy for you. And then you found our podcast. That's like the highest achievement. Oh, I was gonna say, yeah, you fell a little bit there. But I guess maybe you're succeeding. Oh, boy. Well, thank you, everyone who sent in your stories. If you would like to be a part of next month's listeners episode, you can again, submit your stories to and that's why I drink at gmail.com. Please write listener story in the subject line. that way it's easy for eva to find

um maybe if we if there's a theme write the theme in there the theme is astral projecting okay also episode you can go to and that's why i drink.com and there's this like a form you can fill out if you aren't comfortable um using your email yes yeah and that's it and come to our show on june 5th if you can it's from home so no travel no excuses no excuses if you have what happy birthday oh happy birthday you look sad for a second next time next time we we, we're going to be, I'm going to be 28. So old. I hate, I am like one of those people who hate aging. So like. In your 20s.

I like, I really just like, I'm one of those people where like society's put so much pressure on us to like have hit these milestones. Hit a certain milestone, yeah. And I, last night I was literally wearing this tie dye shirt. I was wearing my Back to thedye shirt i was wearing uh my back to the future hat i was wearing my fish flop and i was playing with my pokemon cards and and i was like i'm like close to 30 what the fuck is wrong no you're winning at life don't worry truly well anyway uh thank you everyone who came to you know listen to this and thank you for

sending your stories and we'll see you next next month for another episode bye see you in july and that's why we celebrate our birthdays happy birthday gemini's