Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh - A Very Flagrant Christmas
Episode Date: December 18, 2025YERRR – it’s a Flagrant Christmas special, and the boys are ashy, blistered, and wildly unhinged. We’re talkin’: – Andrew’s busted lip, Overrated holiday movies, – Gen Z brain rot,... and a studio romance?! – Skaters wiping out, crimes before death, and David’s community peen – Plus: the Flagrant Christmas Quiz, hopes for 2026, and the New Yorker of the Week All that and more on this week’s festive episode of FLAGRANT. INDULGE. 0:00 What’s up with Andrew’s lip? 5:18 Christmas games 7:25 Worst Christmas movies + Overrated 11:42 Cranky Alexx + Turn off laughter 13:30 Laughing gas singing 17:52 Skateboarding is INSANE + Embarrassing slips 23:27 Flagrant Studio Romance??? 35:11 David’s community peen + Karen 41:03 Before death, something surely? 43:50 Commit a crime, will never happen again 50:13 This is real love + “Deviated Septum” 53:58 Hopes for 2026, WC + Eileen Gu 1:02:28 Flagrant Christmas Quiz of the Year 1:16:24 Gen Z brain rot 1:21:11 New Yorker of the Week 1:27:49 And the winner is… This episode is sponsored by Kalshi. This episode is sponsored by Sesh. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Transcript
Discussion (0)
You took a bite?
I can't even defend it.
It's like, I might as well just be like I got herpes
because if I describe it, you're not going to believe me, so.
Okay, yeah, tell your lie.
Yeah, I know.
That's a good way to position it.
That is a good position.
I don't know exactly.
It's a great way in position.
I got it.
I got it.
I got it.
I got it.
How do I even get out of this?
I thought it was gonna heal.
I was putting fucking ointments on that shit for the last two days.
Like, yo, please, God let the ship be healed by Flagra.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
No, nothing.
Your girl's giving your shit.
She's like, put this on it.
I was on stage last night,
looking the whole front row,
like, please, Lord, don't let him spit on me
with that fucking herbie on his lip.
Yeah.
So, anyway, so yeah, that's what it is.
His story was that he peeled off, like,
a little piece of skin.
My lips were dry and cracked,
and I had peeled a little piece of skin off.
Oh, you asked him about the herb, right?
Yeah, really?
Yesterday, it was way worse.
It looked crazy yesterday.
He's projecting, bro, because he's assy.
I know, I know.
Because he's an ashy little YW.
I am an ashy.
Dude, look it, look at that.
He's an ashy little YW.
Look at how ashy I am.
No, he's trying to show up his calf.
Come on.
Look at that.
You can't tell.
You got Asian calves.
That's a compliment.
Yeah, that is.
Yeah, your cats are.
The rest of you is frail, but the calves is high.
You don't even need to say the other part.
You muster not have the courage to compliment me.
Let's just sit on that.
You can't.
Yeah, but I'm tough up top and my bottom is frail.
When you said Asian cats, I thought you meant that I had like sparsely growing hair on them.
Oh, also that.
Also that.
Asian's got like about seven hairs tops.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah, and they dispersed a great cacks.
It's so God gave them that they could show off.
It's just like a bald spot right.
Any other observations you like to make about me?
I'm saying, you got your calf out.
I was trying to show you assiness.
I didn't need to be criticized for other things as well.
I feel like Alex shaves his legs, to be honest.
Do you?
I'm just not hairy.
Let me see.
Oh, I'm ashy as fuck.
You're not ashy.
You're not ashy.
Oh, no, you are.
Yeah, I'm crazy.
It's like a louis bag for me.
That's crazy.
It's insane.
You can play tic-tac to him.
shit right now.
Louis back.
I was like from
Canal Street right now.
You're probably for 50 bucks.
Oh, that's so funny, Mark.
Yeah.
More on him.
More on him.
Too close.
More on him.
We got to switch.
Shut the fuck up.
You're going to give me to hurt.
Why don't you shut the fuck up.
You're going to get me to hurt, but I don't want that shit.
You've been had to hurt, bro.
Fuck on it.
Be honest, dude.
You definitely have herpes.
I've never had a blister in my leg.
All right.
I've never had a blister.
You never had a blister.
No, like the herpy blister.
You want to do this?
Do you want to do this?
Oh, Blurped on.
Do you want to do this?
You're going to end up blurping.
Okay, let's go.
Do you really want to do this?
I really want to do it.
Let's go.
Ohio.
Tour.
Funnybone.
Columbus.
I have no idea.
Oh, God.
I'm trying to put it together.
I'm like, you don't remember your whole shit?
You wouldn't even come to the show.
Shut off.
You have marks set up the cameras.
Oh, shut up.
No, can I just tell the story?
Okay, okay, all right.
Thank you.
You have marks set up the cameras.
You have marks up the cameras because you're like, I can't let people see me like this.
I have a reputation uphold.
Okay.
And you had a full-blown, and it wasn't even on your lip.
It was like it was this one here.
It was like in the corner.
It looked like you were like stretch your mouth really wide for something.
And your lip had cracked.
And you had to take a fucking weekend off the shows.
You get a piety last from shit, be that.
How did you get it right now?
I fuck with you. You're a trooper, man.
He's a real word.
Fuck you, Al. Keep him around.
Shut up. Shut up, Al.
I'm starting the clock, all right? We got one hour of 15.
Everyone's got a blurt.
It's hot as fuck with these goddamn fire sweaters.
A fire sweater?
Yeah. They're not ugly. They're fire.
Can we get some AC, though, please?
Technically.
Yeah, we could do a little AC.
Yeah.
All right. You want to get into Christmas vibes?
You got a story to tell, Schultzzi.
No, I got no stories.
We would love to hear
You got one story
We're dying to hear
What happened?
The blister
Oh I told you that
That's where
That's the story
That's the story
We're going with
That's what he's staying with
Yeah
What do you mean
That's the story
You go with
It's fine
Yeah I got
I'm like I'm like
I don't like this
I don't like this energy
I don't like this energy
I don't like this
I'm like
You came in the same energy
You gave the same energy
You just three of his own podcast
And now you have like
A fucking bully
Energy
You all been bullying me
since I sat it down.
Bro, it's Christmas.
I almost didn't get the downout.
I almost did get the down out.
I'm telling you. I don't know what's happening.
The only reason I'm a little suspicious
is because you've had this before.
Would you call it before?
Input, Impadego.
Oh, that was a different one.
You had multiple flared on it.
I don't know.
Put the A.C. on.
And it happens in the winter.
Impedigo.
It was an early flaking.
Remember that.
Yeah.
Let me tell you.
I'm going to have to use my blur.
Already?
Yeah, I had that shit
way back in the day.
Damn.
That was terrified.
I completely forgot about it.
That's the only reason
I'm suspicious of this.
Yeah.
It could be a flare-up.
No, no, no, no, no, no.
That's like a virus.
You get that from like a...
So is herpes, dude.
Yeah.
Oh, man.
I think it's in the name.
It's like...
Herpes Symplex 1, I think?
Where is it in the name?
I thought it was herbie simplex virus.
I thought.
Yeah.
All right, can we play some Christmas games?
Yeah.
Guys, it's the greatest season of all time.
Creamer.
Okay.
If anyone doesn't know,
We're joined here by my friend Andrew Shultz, my buddy Akash Singh, Alex Media, Joey, white media.
He didn't call him a friend.
And we got Shibdy, and we got me, all right?
And in the spirit of the season, I figured we play some holiday games.
Let's fucking do it, dude.
What do you say, out?
This is a weird energy.
I like it.
Why is it weird?
Just go with it, go with it.
Why is it so critical, dude?
Yeah.
No, it's different.
It's insecurity.
It's different.
It's his posture is up?
What is that?
So, y'all not going to be.
gonna notice that he's just being different?
No, you notice you're being different.
You're being weird.
Yeah, I got my butt touched in L.A.
Hey, Dick case, the episode is different.
Look at the seating arrangement is different.
All right.
We're trying to have some fun.
Can you let this guy try to let us have some fun?
Let's have fun.
There we go.
There we go.
How are to talk politics?
Al's not in the Christmas spirit.
Oh, no, not yet.
I don't think I was in the Christmas spirit.
It didn't him yet.
It didn't hit me yet.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It didn't hit me yet.
But come on.
Also, you got to act right,
because I want you know I have shooters in the room right now.
bang shifty whoa whoa whoa whoa oh shit okay oh right all right don't fuck around all right we brought
these back we got shifty with the nerve guns okay from the rafters all right yeah also we got we got the
we got the whole glockylo boom all right so you better duck bitch okay so just watch out
You just got to watch out.
Did we have it?
What was that, Miles?
Like, la, la, blah, boom.
Shout a big hand.
Yeah, if anyone doesn't know, Miles is on the ones and twos,
he's playing all the pretty buttons, right, Miles?
No, you're supposed to play sound effects.
I wanted to shoot someone.
God damn it, Miles.
Okay, what are we doing?
What do you have for us?
This is a beautiful Christmas special
brought to you by Flagrant.
What do you have for us, Mark?
Well, we can start with just some Christmas questions,
okay?
We're just getting into the vibe of the spirit.
It's hot in here, yeah?
That's rough.
Okay, these sweaters are, yeah, we're cooking right now.
I'm not going to lie.
Okay, tell us.
Honest question.
Yeah.
Worst Christmas movie of all time.
Go.
The worst.
Yeah.
What's the worst?
That grinch shit I saw this weekend.
No.
I couldn't do it.
Awful take.
I couldn't do it.
Awful take.
Maybe I'm too old.
I saw it as a 41-year-old man.
It was terrible.
You've seen Jim Carrey?
And I love Jim Carrey.
I mean, no disrespect.
I know he put in a lot, but I just couldn't, I couldn't do it.
That's a bad take.
I would say that's probably the best Christmas movie.
The Grinch?
That's crazy.
That's a fucking...
The line is the thing you've ever said in your life.
That's the stupidest thing you've ever said in your life.
Nah, nah, nah, the Tim Allen joints.
Santa Claus is the best?
I've never seen it.
The Santa Claus joints were, I think, incredible.
What do we talk?
Home alone?
What are we talking about?
Back to back like Drake, bang, bang.
Elf is way better.
Elf is phenomenal.
I think Elf will overrated, bro.
It's just overplayed.
I think Elf's overplayed.
But also, it was so gas by the time I saw it.
I was waiting for it to be the great.
movie I've ever seen. Oh, okay.
Because everybody was like, this is amazing.
But I thought it was kind of mean. You explain this to me.
That's my entire personality. Yes.
And if I'm bad, high expectations, I'm going to hate it.
Yes.
Okay. But yeah, it's a good movie.
Wait, worse, this is a hard way to phrase it.
I tried to watch this Christmas, but it's just too old.
Which one is that one?
I don't know, some little white kiddy looks a little retarded.
Wait, what?
The fuck is he?
This Christmas?
I believe so. Is this a new movie?
No, it's old.
This Christmas?
This Christmas story?
Oh, that one.
You fucking.
Yeah, there we go.
This Christmas is a movie.
This Christmas is from 2000.
This kid?
Yeah, that one.
That's a great one.
He's not, I watched the whole thing on a plane a couple of years ago because I was like,
yo, Christmas time, whatever.
Don't hit.
Don't hit when you watch it all the way through as a grown-up.
That kid's the main elf in Elf.
Yeah, yeah.
He also produces his podcast, actually, that kid.
No, but if you saw it
Play it, Miles.
That was good.
That was good.
None of us see Miles as a producer
so we didn't get it immediately.
But that was good.
Yeah, I didn't get it.
Play it, dude.
Which one do you want?
The bomb, motherfucker.
Come on.
Tim, bomb twice.
Tim, Mark, bomb twice.
Oh, oh, this is, this is high-level Christmas production.
We got going on over here.
We got the Glock, Glock, Glock, boom.
That's also a good.
Like, la-g-a-boom.
Yeah, that's a nice bomb.
Okay.
Now, Christmas story slaps if you see it as a kid.
It's unbelievable.
How do you do worse?
I didn't see it as a kid.
We got to do most overrated or something because the worst Christmas movie is hard.
Brinch is most overrated to me.
That's fair.
You can say a Christmas story.
That's a good take.
Yeah.
I'll say the other best is Nightmare Before Christmas.
sucks.
I haven't seen it.
I can't remember.
That fucking guy creeped me out, yo.
Tim Robbins?
Jack Skellington?
Nah, that.
Tim Robinson?
Tim Robinson?
What's the improvise?
I was thinking of Freddy Cruz.
Tim Robinson.
No, no.
What's the guy's name
who makes all them
cartoon movies?
Tim Burton?
Tim Burton.
Burn.
You're thinking of this motherfucker?
Yeah, that guy.
That's the guy
that's a nightbear before Christmas.
And he's married to
the Harry Potter with.
Belletrix.
Belitrix.
Yeah, she's in it.
She's in it.
100%.
Yeah, yeah.
No, that's, I think,
all-time best Christmas movie.
Nah.
Best soundtrack, for sure.
Love Actually, unbelievable.
You watch,
the second that's on, you're watching it.
These movies.
You've never watched Love Actually?
It's a great movie.
I feel like you just don't know the names of the holiday is a great movie it's a little it's corny but it's great
love actually slaps she's a beast kate winslet yeah he's amazing in this one you've seen it before
hugh grant the kids story that is phenomenal you would like it i'll check it out you like romantic
movies right not really oh is it because you're autistic no it doesn't help it's fake love
did you uh fake love yeah there's no argument the movies be too nice it's a
fucking movie.
Yeah, it'd be too nice.
Why is you're going to do everything?
No, I'm assuming.
The whole movie is arguing.
Oh, it is?
Okay, so then I might like it.
I was judging a book by the cover.
That looks like a bunch of cookie cards.
You know, what's you going through, man?
You know, Chris and spirit, bro.
Don't try to inward your way out of this.
Don't you dare try that with us.
You want to call him a black idiot.
It's so cathart.
I can't.
I got to let you do it.
Now, tell us what you're going through.
What's happening emotionally for you?
rough flight or something?
I feel like you bring in some real cranky pants.
You feel a little cranky?
Yeah, you're a little cranky?
Yeah, Scrooge McDuck, bro.
You need a little tickle, tickle?
You need a little tickle, tickle?
Tell me, what's going to?
Wait, I can turn it off.
I can turn it off.
Oh, you can turn it off?
Do you can turn it off?
Couldn't turn that one off, could you?
Couldn't turn that one.
Oh, my God.
Do you want to tickle?
What if I tickle your,
Bands?
I can tell you, I could turn it off.
Nah, this shit goes to hammer.
I've seen it too many times.
Oh, you see it?
No, I've seen it too many times.
Everybody says this shit to me.
That was from the group chat.
Tanya dropped that in, just first thing in the morning, no context.
Absolute heater?
Yeah, I mean, O'Cosh, what do you think?
Is this racist?
You know, Jewish people got enough hate coming at him.
They can send some shit to me.
It's fine.
Y'all got it.
Y'all got it.
I would argue that this one's better, though.
Is that real, though?
That's AI, right?
Can you start it up, Archer?
Just to hear those sleep.
Now, I'll send this to the group.
Black idiot?
You're the second one.
You've started it, son.
You sent this to the group.
Yeah, but.
But how does it feel when he calls it to you?
Like, what does it feel like?
What part hurts more?
Because he definitely is one of them.
That's a damn joke
He definitely is one
Damn, dude
That guy's been radicalized, bro
Nah, that one's stump
All right, can we go to the group chat
And get some more group chat videos
This is a
I mean, this is an all-time banger
Have you seen the kid that goes
We need to turn ASE up in this motherfucker
I don't know what this is made
That this is 100% like
Icelandic sheepskin or something
I'm dripping sweat right now
Me too
We need to go cold
You need to bring everybody else in the studio that's going to freeze out there.
Where are you going, Miles?
We're going to just open the door.
All right, open the doors.
We're airing it out.
We're airing it out.
He's hot up in this bitch.
Okay.
Have you seen this?
This is a kid that goes to the dentist.
He gets put on laughing gas and then he starts singing.
I want some laughing gas.
No, no, leave that open.
Have you not seen this?
I've seen it.
This is unbelievable.
You know, this is phenomenal.
What is he singing?
He's singing wicked.
This is what funny though.
He's inserting the...
I mean, what a beautiful voice.
Yeah.
I mean, unbelievable, bro.
Going into the yay is fire.
Crazy.
I'm glad you brought that up.
Because they've made edits about it.
I mean, it's beautiful.
It is.
So this is the edit that they made.
Okay.
That's the most beautiful nigga ever.
Gorgeous, right?
I mean, what a beautiful voice that kid has.
It's unbelievable.
I'm curious if he knew he had that in him before he got the drugs.
Man.
Like, he must be like a musician, right?
That's my assumption.
Yeah, he's got the best voice ever.
But was he just a regular TikTok kid and then got drugs and then it was a
It just came out.
Yeah.
I don't know.
When you look into that account?
Because it might have been the parents, and they just recorded it, and that's it.
This is the beginning of the store.
Oh, break my heart if it's AI.
Wouldn't it break your heart if it's AI?
I hate that we're getting to the point that we can't tell.
No, no, no, no, it's not AI.
There's no way.
I was hoping it wasn't just marking it for Wicked, because that clip is going crazy, right?
Yeah.
He would be on Ellen immediately if this was 10 years ago.
And it was a different word.
It may be open.
Well, that's what's interesting is it's not the N-word.
Oh, what does he say?
So the lyrics are, you're never going to bring me.
down in the actual
Wicked soundtrack. So he's saying,
me down. And it sounds like
the N-word. Nah.
Me-me-down.
Oh, wow.
It's like that dress.
Is it blue and gold or black and blue?
Guys, I got a couple shows
on the books right now. Providence, Rhode Island,
March 28th. Okay?
We also have Great Outdoors Fests
in Halifax, Nova Scotia,
August 8th. Okay, Mark Gagnon coming. Yes.
Tam Patterson coming. Lucas Zelnick coming. I think you're going to have some local guys on it too.
We're going to have a crazy show up there at the Garrison Grounds. Go get those tickets right now.
The Andrew Shills.com. Also, guys, show dates. As soon as the New Year starts, I'm at the Pittsburgh Improv, January 8th through 10th, then Phoenix, Arizona, 15th through the 17th. Get your tickets for that quickly.
The Wilbur, I think there's less than like 50 tickets left. So if you're not getting them now, you're kind of fucked.
But the next day, January 24th, Fox's Casino,
get your tickets for that, those just dropped.
Akash Singh.com.
We got all those dates and more generational triumph tour.
We love y'all.
We're adding dates.
Thank you so much.
God bless.
What's up, people?
Mark Gagnon here.
I'm on the road.
I'm going to Salt Lake City, Utah, January 16th, and 17th,
Washington, D.C., February 19th,
and Charlotte, North Carolina, February 22nd.
And then, of course, I do my monthly show in New York City at Mary Lou.
You can get the tickets there on my Instagram every single month
whenever we do that show.
I'll see you guys there.
Suck his dick.
Thank you.
Yes.
Yeah, see you there. Peace.
And guys, all of you who tuned into A.m. Mornings, thank you very much.
It was an awesome show.
We do it every Sunday at 11 a.m. Eastern Standard Time.
Just go to A.m.mornings.com to call in.
But now it's the holidays.
It's the time to give back.
I am also throwing a benefit show, a comedy show.
We're going to have a bunch of guests on January 24th.
This is Cancel ComedyX.com to get your tickets.
All proceeds are going to Food Bank for New York.
So yes, please get your tickets.
When you buy tickets, when you drink, when you eat,
all that is going to go to feeding people in need.
So I'll see you guys there, January 24th, cancelcomedyx.com.
Peace.
We got more shit from the group chat, all right?
Oh, this is legendary right here.
Shout out Chris Jocelyn, man.
No, explains the significance of this.
Okay, so this guy just won skater of the year, right?
Mm-hmm.
He did, was called a tray flip down this place called El Toro.
It's a 20 stair.
So imagine 20 stairs
Okay
A tray flip is
The board rotates in a 360
And
Flips
At the same time
Apparently he tried the trick
And I'll butcher this
I'm such a skateboard casual
But
He tried the flip like eight years ago
Or something like that
And then he kind of rode it out
But his truck broke
So he like
Rode it for a little
And then the skateboard kind of gave out
And some people are like
Ah it doesn't count
Like it would be
It would count for all of us
If we did a fucking Ali
and we do that, but for, you know, professional skateboard or whatever.
Yeah.
So eight years later, he goes and just fucking stomps it.
He doesn't try it again for eight years?
I don't know. Maybe he did, and maybe, I don't know, exactly.
But 20 stairs.
So think about this.
That shit is nuts.
That's crazy.
And you don't land it the first time.
So there's videos of him trying it.
Just imagine, it's like how many times can you jump down 20 stairs?
Yeah.
Just think about that.
And you're just hoping you don't get injured badly enough that you can't do it again.
Exactly.
So every time you're doing it, like these guys learn how to fall.
all like the parkour guys.
Like stuntmen.
Yes, exactly.
But, dude, it's this awesome video.
He goes, I fucking did it.
His kids run out.
They give him a big hug.
Oh, that's nice.
Look at him.
No, I love this.
That triumph shit.
Look at this.
Oh, that's great.
And he's kind of broad, too.
Oh, the dude is fucking Jack.
Diesel.
Usually they'd be like skinny bonn.
Son, skateboarding is.
Different?
From when I was a kid,
what people are doing on a skateboard.
Like, I grew up on Astor Play.
right and like all the kids that would go become like the supreme guys would all be skating
after place and then there was like unsquare there's a place called the brooklyn banks downtown
you remember okay there was this place the cube right you guys obviously yeah yeah yeah and uh
obviously these guys were good and we saw the tony hawks and all these things the people the things
people are doing now on a fucking skateboard like kick flips onto board slides on rails then
kick flips off of the rail like yeah and tony hawks
This is what it sounds like.
You know what Tony Hawk?
You would just do these crazy combinations.
That's what they're doing in real life now.
Yeah.
They're doing video game shit.
I almost wonder if the video game pushed the art forward.
The art forward.
Because kids are playing and they're like, oh, you could do this.
Why don't we try that?
You could bring it to an airport and run on the baggage plane.
If you wanted to.
Locate.
If you wanted to.
100%.
But like the level of difficulty for something like this and just the level of
physicality and injury.
There's crazy falls off that
Where people just absolutely blow their whole legs out
They did blow their ACL
They tear their groin
Like the force when you land 20 steps
Boom boom
Crazy now the wheels will up a little bit
But like that's still
There's I've seen him do some stuff
Because I was looking into all his stuff after this
Right and like I saw him do some things that he was
There wasn't something as big as this
But you could see him
Realize he wasn't going to land the trick in the air
Quickly kind of kick the board
out of the way, and then
do his, like, land and roll.
He did Alex Media backflot.
Exactly.
Exactly.
Yeah, this shit was...
This is, like, a whole dock on it.
That's, like, how big it was for skating.
It's just funny how the steps has a name.
Well, I think it's like El Toro High School.
It's an bunch.
There's one called the Leon 25, which is in Leon France.
Oh, okay.
Which is calling the stairs to the bowl or something.
Look at that.
Yeah.
But he almost makes falling seem like it doesn't hurt that much enough.
If you fell four stairs, it's like the rest of the day.
Oh, yeah.
I tried rollerblading back in the day because that was cool.
Three stairs, I was like, I'm too pussy.
Bro, I drunkenly fell out of a pizza parlor trying to talk to Shifty.
Yeah, I can't walk in a fucking, I didn't hear of everything.
It was an electric bike thing.
Hold on, there's two different conversations gone.
I was drunkingly in a pizza parlor, and I saw Shifty walk by, and he just sort of waved.
And then I tried to run out of the pizza parlor and be like, yo, Shifty.
And I didn't know there's a stair coming just down out of the pizza parlor.
fully fell in front of like, it's a popular place.
A lot of people in line and just fully fell
and then had to act like I wasn't in pain running up to shift deep.
And like, dude, were you with Shub when he ate shit on the grate?
Oh, yeah.
Being Shubber walking down the street, it's pouring rain, it's cold, there's ice everywhere.
And he's on one of those metal parts of the sidewalk.
I look over and the next thing I see are Shub's feet next to my head.
And I had one of those almost yesterday.
I ran out of my apartment to go to do shows.
There was ice on the ground.
and my right foot went
and it was like cartoon it went
straight up like fucking Nazi walk
and then thank God my
left foot was on not ice
but I was almost like on the way to the Uber
the Uber driver's looking to me approach he sees the Lego
flying and I see his eyes open up
like oh no I did this
yesterday I'm chasing an Uber
like it stops on the street and everyone's honking
at him and I see him and I'm like oh fuck just stop
please and he starts to drive and I'm like no no no
I start to run and I hit ice
and scramble and then I catch up and he's like
bro, where were you?
I was like, you don't even understand.
Yeah, you don't even understand
what I just bent through it.
You don't have ice where you're from.
Yeah.
Shift, just let me this.
No, can I just bring up one thing before we watch?
Oh, I love these videos.
I watch this stuff all good.
One, too, guys.
Hold on.
You're good.
Because it's interesting, you said you bumped into Shifty in the neighborhood, Miles,
because Shifty now lives with you guys.
Yes.
So I have another set of eyes on what's happening in the neighborhood.
Right.
Yeah.
So just letting you know, Miles.
You know the rules of the office, right?
What is this?
There's no sexual relations with anybody that works in office, right?
Miles, you know the rules in office, right?
I know the rules in the office.
Can I use my own blur from this?
I'm being a tap.
I'm just saying, Miles, you know the rules are the office.
There's no sexual relations.
Let Miles get his dick wet real quick.
No, don't talk about it like that.
What do you describe the moisture of any of?
That's a woman that wants to dissolve, that's a...
That's what I'm talking about.
I'm just saying, you know the rules.
Apparently, apparently, there's been some...
Yeah, chill, fan.
What was that?
Was he mouthing a blowjohn?
I was trying to make the sound when you're fucking...
Are you fucking a squirrel?
Yeah, I don't know.
Hey, go back to burn it on Miles.
Come on, Miles.
You know, Maas.
You know, I just saved you.
I just want to thank you for taking all the fucking momentum.
I know, I know.
You're welcome.
You're welcome.
You're welcome.
Okay.
All right, back to this.
You know the rules.
There's no.
No, we're not back to this.
There's no fraternity.
He's a pit bull.
I don't know.
I'm never with anybody that works at the office.
I'm just saying,
Schiff, he didn't even snitch on you.
He's like, yo, it's so crazy.
I see Miles and Alex everywhere, getting bagels together,
getting ice cream together, just walking down the street, skipping.
He said that he sees you guys nonstop together.
You live down the block.
I got fucking eyes on you.
I live near everyone.
I'm with Mark all the fucking time.
He never says you see him with Mark.
He never said, though.
She's gay.
Who's gay?
Alex.
Alex. He loves gay.
That's true.
All of his friends are gay.
That is true.
So there you go.
It's friendly.
When did Alex become gay?
She's big.
No way.
Yeah.
Alex, there's no way.
Oh, hold.
Hold on.
Hold on.
Oh, hold on.
Hold on Alex.
You didn't know she was gay.
You didn't know she was gay.
What?
Yeah.
Big Dee.
No.
What is Gaydard I've ever seen in my life?
Nah, get out of here, man.
Alex.
I don't buy it.
Alex!
Alex, come on, yo.
You're leaving you a little.
It was carpet you can munch you.
What is this?
Hold on, Alex.
Are we outing you on the whole pod right now?
I'm not.
I'm not.
Hold on, hold on.
Hold on.
You made her, gang.
What?
First place, she was straight when I knew her three weeks ago.
No, she was gay, though.
Look how she dresses.
Wow.
What's happening here?
What is happening on a podcast?
What's the time of attacks on this?
We have to protect the marginalized communities here.
I don't think you dress gay at all.
Not there would be anything wrong with it.
I did say I dressed like a little boy.
But that was when you dressed like a boy, though.
Hold on.
What's going on?
Is this a new thing?
You got one haircut.
I have had sex with women, but I'm not gay.
But I don't know if that's the answer.
I'm going to guys say that.
I've had sex with guys, but I'm not gay.
Like, come up.
Yeah, not, right.
Andrew Schultz, Andrew Schultz.
Okay.
Yeah, that works.
That'll get them off.
Now you're nuts.
Can we have one here?
You tricked them, bro.
I know.
Can we have fun and no.
You fucking got him, dude.
Andrew Schultz, Edson.
I think he was Andrew Schultz said that.
He said his name right afterwards.
He did.
Okay.
Oh, come on.
Hold on.
The way that the holiday commercial just became real.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yes, yes.
It's life reflecting art or whatever.
Right.
Okay, okay, so, okay.
They're saying you're gay, which is totally fine.
To get out of the Miles accusation?
Is that what I'm hearing?
Yo, is Miles?
I've been there.
Can we just, can we just understand what's happening?
Shifty told you.
I'll tell you what's happening.
Is Miles making you feel uncomfortable?
Because if he is, you can talk to me and I'll make that for a problem.
No, no, no.
You know, I'm a good.
It's my fuck miles up right now.
You're not protected by him.
I'll fuck miles up.
I'll do it.
I'm a good guy.
You've got nothing wrong.
Okay.
Tell me what I think.
You know that you don't have to meet up with them if you don't want to.
No, I'm Indian.
If I say y'all getting married, y'all getting the fucking married.
This is also there's a different route we feel like.
But I'm just saying it's like you don't have to feel like you're a subordinate to him.
No, I don't.
You don't feel like to your career is on the line.
Miles has a really unique condition where we can like hang out.
Ready?
His face.
He's completely smooth down there.
He's a Kendall.
It's not a good one.
Not a good one.
Shoot Miles.
Shoot, shifty.
He fucking out.
What is happening?
That's my fellow wax boy.
What is happening?
Guys, hold on.
We're smooth.
How do you even know about his pubic region?
I'm just calling him asexual in a creative way.
You did this bad.
You're trying to say I have no penis.
Yeah, that is what I'm trying to say that he's not like a sexual.
You can't say that because then they're going to go, how do you know that?
Well, no try again.
From the top.
How do you know that?
I'm just saying he's asexual you have nothing to be concerned about.
if we're getting pizza.
Stop.
I'm not, I've shot my...
Oh, you're saying
that he doesn't make you feel uncomfortable.
No, no.
Okay.
Well, that's good to know.
Yeah, but I don't think that was your concern.
I think you just wanted to...
I don't know how long have my birthday?
I'm saying, six minutes?
He's going through it.
No, no, no, I was...
My concern is this.
I want everybody that works here, it feels safe.
Yes.
Yes.
And I know how Miles is with women.
Right.
I know how he is in women.
He goes through them.
He goes through women.
He has tens of women.
And in Brooklyn, walking up and down those stairs,
getting to that apartment, and he's reading them books.
He's never read me a book.
So I think I'm in the clear.
He's never read you a book?
He's never read me a book.
Gays can read two, miles?
Women can't, though.
Well, that's why you read it.
Okay.
Okay, so, like, I just know that, I know he has this, like, soft, sweet demeanor.
He's a lethario.
But he is lethario, and he seduces women.
What is that mean? That he's a seductive man.
He's a man-sum.
I don't believe you.
We're rolling me back to, like, hyping me up.
I don't want any of it.
I'd rather be.
You are girls like you.
They're, like, talking to you.
They're, like, being around you.
Do you not like being around them?
Yeah, as, like, my 32-year-old go-old.
Whoa.
Play in the sound effect.
Hold on now.
Hold on.
now that felt like a shot 31 that felt like an absolute shot
if he's all the one of them wow wow okay so okay so it's completely platonic for you
with what you were saying yes two god is a Christmas I don't know what happened this is a Christmas
gift for all of us yeah really are you not seeing this this is I want to make sure that our
female co-worker is safe yes we have to fit a quota before the end of the year by having at least
one woman on the party.
Yeah, that's true.
And, you know, we get to
at least squash a little
rumor that was running around the office.
Oh, where the rumor fucking start?
Oh, you know, my wife, Emma,
Emma thought that you guys were going to hook up
immediately.
Emma called this months ago.
At the same time, you said your wife's
name. I called Chifty a shithead. I just want to clear
up. I wasn't calling her a shithead. I was calling
Shifty one. I think you just use your
blurp. I think you just use
your blurp right there.
You get one blurp, and I think you have to use it there.
You would rather, you would rather let.
No, I just clear it up.
My blurp doesn't need to use.
There's no clearing it up.
You called my wife a shit.
You can't, you can't just say it and take it back.
And make that's how it works.
I'll try to make a joke.
He tried his best.
It's okay.
Go on.
I just keep talking, I'm like ducking, because I think he's going to shoot.
He's not going to shoot you.
It's not going to shoot you.
Don't work.
But if you call my wife a shithead,
obviously you should blurp that
because you wouldn't want that to go out there on the internet.
It's very disrespectful.
God forbid that she saw it.
I would never call her a shit head.
Emma thought that you guys were going to have
an intimacy issue at work.
She said that at the 4th of July
and I was like, that's crazy.
I would never touch Miles.
And I'm sure he was like, well,
but that was the angle.
What team are you on?
I'm just saying I didn't need to be.
We're going to be like, I would never touch my own.
It's awesome.
Hold on.
Miles, she would never touch you, and she's not that picky.
Even with gender, she don't give a fuck.
But she knows one thing for certain.
She's not giving you shit.
But can I, can I be honest that?
That is kind of his game.
You don't see it.
You don't see it.
You don't see the moves he's making.
He slowly weaves you in.
He never told you some random facts about container ships,
and you're like,
Believe it about that doesn't do it for me.
That doesn't do it for me.
No.
Containership facts.
He's not telling you about the Mersk containerships?
I think you save a lot for the real.
Okay.
Okay, so the deep cut facts are not something that work for you.
Yeah, no, that's not like my...
Alex, like improv guys.
You guys know I have sex with clowns, like professional clowns.
So I don't know where this is coming from.
Come on to our wives.
Is that supposed to be an insult here?
No, it's just the truth.
Like, that's just...
You mean, like, make a...
Am I not funny?
Is that what the fuck is that?
Oh, no, Miles.
Miles, no.
He gets back.
Shut off.
You're back in the world.
Close room, my boy.
You are funny.
You are funny.
Thank you. I appreciate it.
You are funny. Let's play an improv game.
Maybe this will work.
Let's suggest something.
Yes, okay.
Let's do a scene.
Christmas party.
Christmas party.
And you guys are married.
Okay.
Yep, here we go
Here we go
Here we go
And go
How does it go?
We say a word?
Yeah, exactly
You start with word
Yeah, yeah, yeah
Okay, go.
Toaster Oven
Potsar is on?
I don't understand
How the game works
Damn, bro, I thought
he had a chance, man,
Maybe I'm not funny, man
He has no chance at all
Well, after that improv
It's just
He's not, I just don't think
I'm in that bucket for Miles
Like, he has a roster
of like actual people,
You know what I mean?
And I'm like a little brother
Off his Spiney!
You know, Alex is really just putting you through the spin cycle right now.
Yeah, you're on the spin cycle.
What are you feeling emotionally as you go through this, Miles?
I don't know, dude, this is overwhelming.
I'll be honest.
Yeah.
Now you've made Miles uncomfortable.
Yeah, that Miles is sad.
If anything, David's probably in the other room, jealous.
That makes me happy.
David's jealous of you.
No, just the attention that...
He's a start.
No, no, Miles time.
Not the attention.
Miles what?
No, I think David wants to fuck him work now.
Yeah.
Oh.
Yeah, he does.
Don't blame him.
Is it true that David was Shifty's friend first?
Yeah.
Really?
Wow, what happened?
What a slut, dude?
He running away.
I thought you brought him in.
No, he was my homie from way, way back in the day.
We had mutual friends.
Oh, he's community dick.
Yeah.
And then I connected him with Shifty.
live together oh wow now you said homie eh what did you mean by that oh you are just
can i just can i just have a soap opera yeah i know this is awesome have a nice enjoyable
soulbopper this is the shit i like to do but what did you mean by and like did you not he was my
oh he was your friend i don't know i don't know if i will use that i don't well he wasn't mark's friend i don't
thing first. He's a social climber
this guy. I mean, he was like an Instagram
buddy. Yeah, my gosh, thank you
for your contribution. I feel hurt.
I feel hurt. He can try to leave
him for you next. Just wait. Just wait.
Did you say you feel
hurt that he hasn't tried to
appeal to you? A little bit.
But maybe I'm after Mark and then you're after me. Who knows?
Okay, I see. I see. Al is too dark
for him to be friends with that. Damn.
That's on David. That's true.
Is he a racist?
Yeah, is he?
Wow.
He saw four black guys from Balaclavas and called the cops.
No, he did.
He got out of the Unicle and he said, yo, I think they just stole from Unicloff.
They had shopping bag.
He called the cops on a Loua Lemon.
He used to live across the street from.
He was really scared.
That's a funny way to say a story he was shopping in.
No, he literally lived across the street.
And he called the cops because he saw four black dudes walk out with...
Three.
Three with Bob Lobb's on.
And I told this story in front of...
Archer and Archer was disgusted.
As he should be.
The fuck is wrong with you.
That's a horrible thing to do as a human being.
We're grateful he gets us ads for the podcast, though.
And we're not going to change anything about it.
All right, guys, take a break for a second.
Today's sponsor is Crackin, aka your go-to plug for everything investing.
I mean, shout out to everybody who watched that Cracken ad that we did it.
Also, thank you guys all for being part of it.
David, you did a great job.
It was David's idea for me to take the,
sesh out of his mouth.
Yeah, that was in my mouth.
That was his idea.
Sound effects were too much.
There was one take.
We should have used it, but like I couldn't find it in his mouth.
And I spent like six seconds in.
I was just searching for a pouch.
Do you feel unsafe in the workplace?
Yes.
Okay.
Just want to make sure.
He's acting.
We're acting.
It's not like we were trying to fuck our coworkers, Miles.
Yeah.
Yeah.
You did it.
You walked right into that one, dude.
Yeah.
Trying to court your coworker.
Anyway, shout out Cracking, bro.
It was funny when Cracken has to do the ad.
We were just like, listen, we'll do it if you let us do whatever we want to do, and there's no notes.
And they were like, okay.
And I was like, we get asked to do a lot of these ads, and we tell everybody the same thing.
So if you're down, we're going to make something funny, you just got to trust it's going to be funny.
And they're like, okay, we'll try it.
And then, you know, I don't know, I think people liked it.
Yeah, that's fine.
And it doesn't feel like it's an ad, you know?
You did great too, Al.
No, I heard I got nominated.
Yeah, for the Fleworn.
Yep.
Yeah, we kept Al's.
He's supposed to say fiddle in the ad and just one take out of nowhere.
I didn't know.
He did it right like seven times.
And out of nowhere, he goes, fluthorn.
And we go, what are you even, what's going on in that head of you?
It was a choice.
You didn't make an acting choice.
That's great.
You're like Paul Danos, huh?
All right.
Cracking, it's simple.
It's secure.
It's fast.
It's the OG.
When the Bitcoin price is moving, you use a plastic.
that you can rely on.
Be honest, how many of you opened absolute trash
last Christmas, socks, a candle,
maybe the world's best whatever mug
from someone who put zero effort into your existence
this year, why are you going to go through all that effort
and it's going to flop anyway?
Okay, Cracken has got your back.
Give the gift of Bitcoin.
Here's how it works.
You're new to Cracken, you sign up before December 24th.
They drop $50 in Bitcoin straight into your account.
A real gift, no socks involved.
And if you're already on Cracken,
they give you $125 of Bitcoin gift card.
to send to someone who isn't on Cracken.
That's phenomenal.
Free money.
That's free money, guys.
Free money that's going to go up, okay?
Now, you look like the most generous human alive.
Hey, bro, here's some Bitcoin.
Try beating that with a scented candle.
Okay, it's simple.
Get Bitcoin.
Give Bitcoin.
Either way, you win the holidays.
So just hit the link.
Crackin.com slash gift of Bitcoin
and stop being the person who gives embarrassingly bad.
Gives upgrade your gift in game.
Give Bitcoin.
Disclaimer.
This is not investment advice.
Crypto trading involves risk of loss
and is offered to U.S. customers excluding New York and Maine
through Payward Interactive Inc. Terms Applied.
Now, let's get back to the show.
All right, guys, stay a break for a second.
Blue Chewold is the newest innovation
from the number one chewable E.D. brand.
This ain't your grandpa's little blue pill.
This is the four-in-one beast
that's setting the gold standard for rock hard cocks.
Okay?
We're talking two ingredients for blood flow
to keep that rocket pumping,
mixed with apomorphine and oxytocin at a turn up the arousal connection your brain and body
this shit is crazy okay blue-chew gold dissolves under your tongue and works and this is my favorite part
the little is 15 minutes 15 minutes that means you only need to go down for like five minutes
think about what they're doing it you don't have to stretch that thing out for it to go you're rock
and 15 this is peak passion peak performance in a single tablet and we're going to
got a special deal for our listeners. You get 10% off your first month of Blue Choo
Gold with the code Flagrant. That's promo code Flagrant. Visit BluTru.com for more
details and important safety information. And we thank Blue Choo for sponsoring this podcast.
Now let's get back to the show. I want to get back to the Christmas spirit. Okay. Alex, I just
wanted to make sure you feel comfortable and save at work.
I feel comfortable. And also in your neighborhood. Yes. With your co-workers.
Yes. Okay, good. Do you guys have any plans in the near future to hang?
I think we'll probably both kill ourselves right after this year.
Really? You would rather
kill yourselves than give Miles anything
whatsoever? Is it that bad?
Somehow no one feels uncomfortable
and insults me in everyone.
Wait, what just happened?
That was, I feel like you guys would,
and again, I don't want to suggest anything,
but I feel like you guys, before death,
you would probably do something.
No, if they work here, no.
Before death.
Miles, would you rather
kill yourself with you with,
and be without
this is it
yes
they get that on
it's a question
and again
there is no pressure
and this is just
a hypothetical conversation
I'm very curious
would you rather
A
Miles
would you rather
kill yourself
I guess I can't answer
either way
if I kill myself
I hate her
yeah I'd rather kill myself
yeah yeah
the answer
that's the safer HR answer
that's the safest answer
that's the best
That's the right thing.
That's what you want.
And am I posing a question that's, like, wrong?
Yes.
No, no, I think that's a valid.
Is it a bad question, what I'm saying?
No, I mean, if the goal is to not have office tris, then, yeah.
Yeah, because I don't want to have office tris.
Great.
I'm doing this because I have to protect the culture at the office.
Yeah, but the way you're posing the question.
What am I saying?
Well, you're saying, would you rather kill yourself or have some type of romantic relationship?
Technically, that's what she brought up.
But that's going to hurt her both ways.
Yeah, but what I'm trying, I like to empower the people at the office.
So I don't want to silence voices.
When she brings up a great hypothetical,
I would like to also present that to Miles
and see if he would shoot himself in the fucking head
before he made out with Alex.
And how do you feel about that?
We're going to go with a yes on that one.
Damn, that's insulting.
That's a safe answer.
That's a safe answer. We want that.
You made out with David.
He also works here.
What the fuck is happening?
What the hell is going on?
It wasn't brought to my attention.
And if it was brought to my attention,
I would have said something about it.
Fair.
That's good.
Make out of day.
David. You would make out of David?
I did not make out of David. Yes, you did.
No. I kissed one homie one time.
Mouth kiss. That's crazy.
Y'all kiss a homie one time.
Nah, bro. For New Year's.
What's going on? Speaking of hypothetical.
Yes, go, go. Speaking of hypothetical.
Can I quarterback this shit?
Mark, you got to take over, Mark.
Can I pose a hypothetical to the group?
Yes, you can.
All right. This one is, uh...
Joey, would you cheat on your girlfriend?
No, it's okay.
All right.
If you could commit a crime
but the crime you commit
could not be committed ever again
what crime would you commit?
So think about it.
You commit a crime
you have to do this heinous act
but you know that for the future
all of humanity
will never...
Alex, you don't have to leave.
Don't let him fucking tell you what to do.
You're showing the women out the room.
Alex, do not ever let him tell you what to do.
That's not his rule.
You know, he went like,
What is this?
They get it the fuck.
Yo, Alan, get the way of your seat,
out, sit down.
Make yourself comfortable.
Stop blushing, Miles.
You make yourself comfortable, all right?
That was, that was offense.
I was offended by that.
Okay, you commit, all right, here,
maybe we pose it out.
You commit one crime.
You can commit a crime.
Once you commit it,
humanity and perpetuity
will never have to do with this crime again.
It doesn't exist anymore.
You can protect humanity in perpetuity,
but you have to,
you have to commit it did you see this guy's answer you know play it right once you do
this no one after me can do it no one it will never happen again there's just there's an
answer that's great for humanity any crime any kind like me bro there's things that i'm like
personal about like well like that bro the safety of women and children's big to me
the answer that's the best for humanity.
But then you really brand yourself if you say it.
Yeah.
But like how's, yeah.
I think you go murder.
Yeah, murder's the safest answer.
It's the safest answer.
Murder is the easiest.
Well, what if you go sexual assault?
But on a guy
who's a raced.
That's,
there's, didn't Dave have a bit about that?
Like, race and a rations or something like that?
No, I don't know.
I don't know.
He saves, but he rips.
Yeah, yeah, he rakes, but he raves or something like that.
God fucking phenomenal.
So there you go.
No, but that would only say from...
That only saves from being raped.
And now, who the fuck cares?
They shouldn't...
Mm-hmm.
And is it gender-specific?
I think yes.
Okay.
Wait, what if it isn't?
No, I'm saying, like, if you rape a male rapist,
then you only stop male...
No?
No, no, no, it would stop...
Hold on.
That's what I'm saying.
We have to break it.
No, no, I think you're actually, you're thinking about this is really smart.
Fuck you.
So, no, no, you're right.
You're right.
It just stops all.
You could rip a guy, but it would stop all right male and female.
Okay.
We're going to get dinged.
No, I'm still going to murder.
I was just, I was just asking.
Who are you asking for?
Why are you asking?
What was the curiosity about?
This is a fun game.
Just asking a question.
I can't ask a question.
Because you definitely would never do it to a woman.
We know that.
Yes.
None of us here would ever do it to a woman.
No, you can't do it.
Definitely wouldn't do it to a woman.
You can't.
But you could maybe do it to somebody and then protect all women.
That's what you got done.
This was consensual.
That was a good.
That was a good.
I'm just saying.
He's hated you.
You could, you could rip a terrible.
Oh, it's not bad
It's not bad
And then you can protect women in perpetuity
You wouldn't do that to protect women?
No, I'm sorry
Really?
Yeah, some grapes have to happen
I'm sorry
Whoa!
Hey, that is what this game is, right?
Would you do it?
So we can't just say what's...
Would you do it? Yeah. You would do that to a terrorist?
To a terrorist? Yeah. I would. Not even a question.
Not even a question. To protect all of humanity?
Yeah. No grape again?
You know, it's selfish, yo.
No grape again.
That's a bad person.
Murder's worse.
What do you mean?
Like, murder is a worse crime.
Nah.
Then, like, a child?
No, grape is worse.
Yeah.
I think murder's worse.
This is why your moral compass is crazy to me.
It's crazy.
But you can just go to some therapy and then you could have therapy.
Don't try to black out therapy to save yourself.
You could, though.
He does do that when he gets in a throat.
It throws out the end word therapy.
No, but you never trying to put it up to get himself out of trouble.
You could go to therapy, though.
You could go to therapy, all right?
Nah, bro.
Your life is still going on.
Like, you take somebody's life is over.
There's some awful people.
You wouldn't murder a terrorist?
Is this supposed to be Christmas?
That's a good point.
That's good point, dude.
See, why are you doing these fucked up hypotheticals, bro?
We're just on the topic.
Come on.
I suggested that one.
I'm grape of terrorists, no question.
Can we say essay or something?
I essay a terrorist, no question.
I thought we could say grape and then we do it.
Hey, knowing the good I'm doing for humanity,
my dick will get so hard, son.
I am, bro.
Come on.
Really?
Blurpy.
Yeah, dude.
Come on.
That's what I'm talking about.
You don't have to do this.
You can just do tax fraud.
Well, who cares about tax fraud?
You piece of shit.
You stop all the tax fraud.
Oh, wow.
But who's that helping?
The economy, bro.
All these people are robbing us from the tax fraud.
the economy. Shut the fuck up.
Yeah. That's the widest answer
I've ever heard of my life. Fine. I'll love it.
Perjury. Okay. I'll commit perjury.
You'll commit perjury. Yes. I'll get
a speeding ticket. I'll go in. I'll be like I wasn't speeding.
And then there's no more lying in court. No more lying in court ever.
Interesting. That's interesting. That's a decent answer.
See, there you go.
Yeah. You found a way to be a pussy in a smart way.
Yeah. I got a good one.
Fine. Genocide.
All right. Is that what you guys want? All right?
You would do that.
To terrorists.
You genocide.
I was like, woo.
There was an answer that could have really got us about a YouTube news.
And I want you to know that you stayed away from it, and I commend you.
Imagine, you genocide the Nazis, all of a sudden, no more Nazis ever again.
Bada Bing. We did that once, 45. It worked.
Yeah, they never came back at all that.
Those ideologies are completely dead.
Yeah, the hypothetical wasn't posed back then.
They did it for no reason.
They should have done it for the hypothetical.
Obviously, got to do it for the hypothetical.
If you did it for the hypothetical, it would work.
The most is going through.
Come on.
Hey, be okay?
You know, come on.
Stop.
No, that shit, this is weird because we can talk about this.
Why are you tapping?
That is weird.
You would touch you in a minute and he saw the news.
That was mad.
That was weird, bro.
I'm not going to lie.
That was a lot.
You already know how I feel about this one.
This one, this one is hot.
Yeah.
This one is hot.
The Challenger's one was gross.
Yeah, but you just...
This shit's kind of hot, bro.
But you just tapped your monkey puck after you saw him piss.
Pause.
Pause.
Pause.
Let me tell you why it is.
Pause.
Pause.
Pause.
Pause. Pause. And then pause. Listen, let me tell you why it is, I think. Because that's how people who really know how to kiss, start a kiss.
You know what I mean? The Challenger's one was like, oh, we're about to have our first orgy. Like, it was so try hard, right?
Like, also, if you're both straight, you wouldn't be actually trying to tongue kiss in there together. Like, none of it was believable.
But they weren't straight as part of the movie. Yeah, these are some Irish gays in the field. Just fucking kissing, but they could kiss anywhere.
You know what I mean?
Like we don't need to get into it
This is this kind of
Because it's a true love to you
I don't even know if it's
It wasn't performing
It's not performative
It's authentic
It's authentic
They're not even gay
That's straight
That to me
Is heterosexual
Thank you
I agree with me
I agree with you too
That's heterosexual
I'm back out
I'm back out
Me and David are good
You're saying
You're saying can you watch this
Watch this with a straight dick
and just tell me
just look at this
come on now
also no tongue is nice
yeah no tongue is huge
one of the right enjoyed it more than the left
left is he's kind of
he did
look at him
if we go let him cook
watch look
he's really going
he's kind of like
hey yo
all right
I'm just saying
if we're going to break down real love
and break it down
people.
What do we
doing out with?
Hold on.
So tell me
what you were seeing
in him that let me know
that it was like...
I'm just saying,
like,
you see the grip?
Oh, the grip.
Yeah, yeah.
He pulled him in.
Back in the neck and pulled him in.
Yeah.
Yeah, the grip.
Also, like, I relate to this
because you see how his nose is crooked.
Like, I think there's part of me
to see him myself.
a little bit more, right?
Does that happen every time?
What do you mean?
Yeah, of course.
Happens when I brush my teeth in the morning
and look in the fucking mirror.
Yeah, of course it does.
You know what all sucks is I haven't been able to breathe
out of my nose for like six months.
Oh, yeah.
I have apparently a deviated septum.
Oh, shut up.
That's just a Jewish shit so you can get a fucking nose job.
I know, I know.
I'm aware.
I went to the E&T.
My nose is natural.
You're good.
Fair enough.
But I went to the E&T,
Wait, what happened?
What happened?
I just don't believe it.
Oh, really?
It's natural?
Yeah, she's ain't.
You don't think it's natural?
Mm.
Blurped.
I get it.
I get one.
You already blurbed.
No, I didn't.
Come on, bro.
Let's go.
Oh, that was really fucked up.
Yeah.
Yeah, that was really fucked up.
If you start, if you start right now, I'm a pinnishly after.
I'm a bad.
I'm a bad.
That wasn't fucked up at, Al.
Al, you did was funny, and I'm glad we worked there.
It was super fine.
That was horrendous, what he said.
That was actually horrendous.
Al was so fine, dude.
Yeah, bro.
It was fucked up.
Oh, you say I'm fine.
I like that.
All right.
This is one of the last episodes of the year.
Yeah.
2026.
Yeah.
What is your hope for next year?
Oh, I know what I want for next year?
What?
What?
I just want the United States to win the World Cup.
That's actually fucking great.
I don't even want us to win for us.
I want us to win because of how much it would piss off the rest of the world.
Oh, yeah.
That's phenomenal.
It's never going to happen, but it's phenomenal.
But it means so much to them.
And we could take away that joy.
Why would it never happen?
It's just not going to happen.
What are the odds?
What are the Calci odds that we win the World Cup?
That we win?
That we win.
Extremely low.
What are they?
What are the odds?
This is
2026.
Look how low we are.
Holy shit.
2% trending down, I think.
And trending down.
Okay.
No, that makes, okay, whatever.
So there's a chance.
Yeah.
Are you going to go to a game?
It would be the greatest sports event in American history.
Which game are you excited to go to?
USA versus.
I'm going to U.S. verse.
Who else?
Well, you know who's in the group.
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah.
So I'll go to U.S. verse.
I'm not actually picky, to be honest.
I'll go to basically U.S.
Everybody.
What's your favorite verse in the Bible?
of all of them.
Yeah, I do like all of them.
But no, U.S. Verse.
I'll probably go to U.S.
Verse.
That's a good one.
I'm excited for that matchup.
Yeah.
Verse got a hell of a defense.
Who is in our group?
Chile?
No.
Who's in our group, David?
Get your shine on, David.
Who's in our group, David?
Australia, Paraguay.
And then the winner of a playoff game
between Turkey, Romania,
Slovakia, and Kosovo.
That's a good group.
That's a good group.
They give you a soft group
when you host, though, right?
That's what we were saying.
When America got Australia, everyone was like, let's go.
But who's the toughest in that group? Paraguay is my guess.
Australia, probably.
We're smoking Australia.
We're smoking Australia.
That's not even close.
Well, they were also cheering when they got us in the group.
Man, God.
Has a job of being disrespectful.
They were going crazy.
They were fired up.
No, we got that.
That's what I want for Christmas, USA World Cup.
They designated a game before any of the teams were picked as an LGBTQ game.
Why?
In terms, like, to honor the LGBTQ society.
It's the one in Seattle, right?
It's in Seattle.
And then they drew the teams, and then they're randomly assigned.
The teams that are playing in the gay game is Iran and Egypt.
That right there is next level trolling.
It is.
Let me tell you something, how amazing that trolling is, bro,
because you're going to find out what those people care more about.
They care more about their country or rainbow flags all around them.
because they're going to have to sit in the gay-painted arena, right?
Yeah.
And cheer on the gay game.
Do you want to win the gay game or lose the gay game?
Yeah.
No, you got to win.
Yeah.
But that makes you the champion of gay.
You're the gay champions of the World Cup if you win that game.
But it wins a win.
So now we're going to find out that's why the World Cup is a great equalizer in a lot of ways.
Like all the sudden, like every country in Europe that's been saying,
we've got to stop immigration.
The World Cup comes around.
They're like, all right.
And then we can wait for this world, come to finish,
and then we'll stop the immigration into the next four years.
Yeah, it is beautiful when there is something that people care more about
than anything else in the world, especially when it's useless like that.
Useless like a sport.
The French national team is African.
I mean, they were born in France, a lot of them.
A lot of them are born in France.
And fed there, I feel like wherever you're fed, that's where you got to play.
Yeah, I like that.
That's a good rule.
Because that's what made you that.
That's a solid rule.
If you're fed
18 years.
Oh, okay.
If you're fed for 18 years in a country,
it doesn't matter what your background is
that's where you have to play.
You don't get to be fed in America
for all these areas
and then go play somewhere else.
I like that rule.
Right?
Because it's like we made you who you are.
There's like that skier that ski for China, remember?
Yeah.
Christina Yang.
Is that?
I threw it out there, man.
I thought it was kind of close.
That sounded unbelievable.
Eileen goo.
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
I think that's a DJ.
That's a DJ.
It was almost so racist.
You were one letter all from a crazy slur.
That's Korean.
That's Korean.
That's Korean.
Oh, yeah, sure.
Six, seven.
No, no, no.
Aline Wu.
Eileen Goo is the skier, bro.
I was right.
He was right.
He was fucking.
Now he's racist.
He was fucking.
Now he was racist.
He was racist.
That's the skier.
Oh, shit.
Now who's racist?
Oh, she's actually, she's a cutie too.
We thought about putting her in a street fighter.
Really?
Which character?
What do you mean, we?
We thought about putting her a street fighter.
I'm just saying, we thought about it.
We thought about putting her a street fighter.
The name was thrown out there.
What made you change your mind?
What made you pivot in a different direction?
I mean, I don't get the ultimate say, but, you know, sometimes they throw names around.
They're like, Schultz, what do you think about this name?
You know, and I was like, traitor.
That's true.
That's what I felt.
I was like, she's a traitor.
That's true.
And she won gold over there for Big Air and Half Pite.
Now, she's nice.
And she's like brilliant.
She went to Stanford, I think.
She's like beautiful.
She's like a supermodel who's also the best at snowboarding.
No, no, she's...
She's the Ops.
I know she's the Ops.
That makes it worse.
It makes it worse.
That makes it more devious.
Because she would be arguably the biggest athlete in the Olympics every single time if she stayed here.
And now we got to kind of like fake act like we don't care.
Yeah.
Come on, Eileen, come back to the boys.
Yeah.
You know, she got a retarded back.
She got the retarded back.
Oh, my God.
They threw everything.
Yeah, I almost don't blame.
A smart girl, like you said.
She's in Troy Stanford.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
All right, guys, take a break for a second.
Listen, you show up to a blood drive.
Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
The person in charge?
It's a vampire.
Oh, no.
One sip, your donation's gone.
Oh, my God.
Along with the rest of you,
there's a reason why you wouldn't let a vampire run a blood drive.
There is.
Just like there's a reason why Morgan and Morgan
is America's largest injury law firm.
I don't think they're trying to say that lawyers are blood-sucking,
lifeless humanoids.
I think they're trying to say when you have a problem,
you want the experts to be on your side.
Not like some vampire in disguise at the blood drive.
So the opposite.
Morgan to Morgan has a proven trackguard for fighting for the people for over 35 years
with over $25 billion recovered for their clients.
Morgan and Morgan knows a thing or two about.
fighting to get you the compensation you deserve. Hiring Morgan Morgan is like hiring an army to go into
battle. They've got more than 1,000 lawyers in 100 offices nationwide. If you're injured by someone
else's negligence, you deserve to be paid. Not all offerings are the same. Hire the wrong one,
you may be beat. Before you even start, if you're injured, you can check out Morgan and Morgan
and their fee is free unless they win. For more information, go to 4thepeople.com slash flagrant.
That is F-O-R-the-people.com slash flagrant. This is a paid advertisement. Now let's get back.
to the show. All right, guys, stay a break for a second because other brands are dropping holiday
fluff. Black Rifle Coffee's dropping holiday firepower. They're ending 2025. The only way they
know how loud, bold, and all American, whether you're gifting for your gym buddy or hosting a
house full of freeloaders, Black Rifle Coffee, companies got your back with roasts like
atomic llama, an explosive blend of brown sugar and cinnamon that slaps harder than your
uncle's conspiracy theories want something classic grab wake in the neighbors
these are my favorite just black or beyond black
caffeinate your day and push like Washington push the continental army across the
Delaware on Christmas morning God bless his soul but black rifle coffee it's not just
selling caffeine they're powering into America's 250th birthday with a mission that
actually means something. Every bag supports a company
that backs our veterans fuels hard charges and
believes this country is still worth fighting for
the same spirit that lived
in Washington lives on today.
So join the mission, pick up some black
rifle coffee today.
Use go flagrant at black rifle coffee.com
for 30% off or find it
in store at Walmart Target Kroger.
Black Rifle Coffee. Veteran founded, American roasted.
This is America's coffee. Now let's
get back to the show. All right, you want to do a Christmas quiz?
Yo, this guy.
Don't say this guy.
You know, fuck Mark.
I'm looking to fuck Mark in the chat.
No, no, don't fuck Mark.
I'm the only one that cares about criminus.
Hey, I'm wondering Christmas.
He's called Christmas, go on Christmas.
He just wants to be anti-Semitic.
That's fucked up.
You wouldn't want to sound like that.
You wouldn't want to sell that Christmas.
Yeah, exactly.
All right, all right, all right.
Let's take your little Christmas quiz, Mark.
Let's do it.
You worked hard of it.
Christmas Christmas Christmas.
I did.
Let's take some of Christmas.
All right.
Oh, we got panels.
Everyone gets a board.
Joe, we got markers.
They're in the cup of front of you.
Oh, my God.
Goodness, I love this.
Alex, congrats.
You get to be part of the Christmas quiz.
Here, I'll pass it down to Alex.
All right, here you go.
Here you go.
There you go.
This is a year-end review, all right?
I'm going to ask you five questions with four different categories.
Okay.
You have to write down.
You have to put an answer.
Yep.
And I'm going to ask you the questions.
And we're going to go through the answers afterwards, all right?
Oh, my God.
What did that have?
You got some crazy.
What was that?
Nothing.
What was that, bro?
Hey.
Al has been radicalized, bro.
Al has been radicalized.
Hey, hey, hey, it was my bictionary.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah.
All right.
Right.
That ancient Indian thing.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
I can run.
It's fine.
Who's this?
Everybody did this.
Question number one, all right?
Yes.
This kid.
went viral this year. Yes. You remember that, right?
Yes. Who is it? What country is he
from? Now, for the record, you're going to get points
based off of who's the
accurate one and also who's the funniest one.
What country is he from?
Watch the video?
Did that's what it is? I need to watch the video. You've never seen
this? No. Oh my God, this is huge.
Swag. This was one of the big trends of the year.
All right. Question number two. Best picture.
Sidney-swee posted a lot of Instagram
pictures. Which of these pictures
was the most liked? Come on now.
I already know what time of this.
Shit.
I put one in there for you, Shulte.
Which one is the most likes?
Oh, respect.
Go, uh, go, uh, zoom in on that.
Zoom in on that.
Let's get a good.
Ooh.
Oh, okay.
God gave some people everything, huh?
That's crazy.
Which one got the most likes, all right?
Okay, go on.
We got a new Pope.
What city is he from?
And what's his name?
Okay.
This couple went viral this year, all right?
I don't know if you remember them.
Oh, yeah.
Yep.
What company did they work for?
Oh.
Got it.
Bonnie Blue had an amazing year.
Yep.
Breakout Star.
Yep.
How many men did Bonnie Blue sleep with in 24 hours?
What was the third question again?
I got distracted by the toast.
We got a new Pope.
Where's he from?
What's his name?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Okay, I got it.
Let's go.
All right.
You ready?
Yep, let's do it.
100%.
Let's do it.
Let's fucking do it.
Also, if you get it wrong,
We might have a punishment.
Shifty.
All right.
Oh, fuck.
Question number one, this little kid,
or a foreman, on the boat.
Alex, what was your answer?
China.
Okay.
Shultz?
Thailand.
I said one of the Chinese ones.
Okay.
Nope.
The correct answer is Indonesia.
I'm wrong?
One of the Chinese ones?
Partial points.
I have credit.
That's partial points.
As credit.
Alex Chinese.
Number two.
China.
Question mark.
Yeah, y'all are raised.
So I kind of get a point as well.
O'Cosh gets 50 points, Joey.
I need you to keep everyone's points on this, okay?
Sidney-Sweeney, most-liked photo.
A. C.
I said D, because they're about to get two more likes.
Wait a minute.
B was the most-like?
Yeah, he was the most-likes.
I said A.
We're an ass country, dude.
I love that.
Zoom in on that.
Zoom in on that.
That gives me hope.
We need to see that closer.
Well, she don't got to ask.
I also did a little math on this.
The photos...
The gang up.
Yo, shot out of Shifty, the most loyal dog in the game.
That was fun of.
But they glimbaugh, boom.
You had your G's back right there, Shifty.
I love that.
I'm trying to make him a good guy.
He fucking sold me out an hour ago.
The two photos that you think would be the most like,
don't fucking point to shoot that of me,
are more recent, so they have less time to get the likes.
Nah, but this is a significant difference.
Yeah.
Yeah. Okay, number three, go.
All right, the Pope. What's his name?
Chicago.
Chicago. Leo. Did you put Chicago?
I did put Chicago. I got the name wrong, though. I just want with the whitest name I could think of it was Jonathan.
I put John, too.
Hey, he's got real G.
He's white people. Like, that's the Jesus. That's exactly what I'm saying.
John? John Luke or something. Hey, black lines think alike, dude.
Alex? I said, Chitown, Mr. Pope.
Nope.
We're going to give 50 points for.
Shytown, 50 points for Chicago,
50 points. What's his real name?
He said Chicago and Leo.
Mark, what's his real name?
Jonathan. Robert.
Fuck.
It's not Leo?
His Pope name is Leo.
Well, ain't, didn't that what you just fucking ask?
No, but Miles asked me his actual name.
No, but he gets credit for Leo.
He just asked what his name was.
He's the Pope.
I asked you what his name was.
His name was Leo.
Yeah, he said that.
That's what I said.
So he gets 100 points.
Yeah.
Yeah.
But his real name is something a real Catholic should know.
No, no, no.
No, no.
No, no.
His name is Leo, bro.
Number four, go.
All right, number four.
SpaceX.
I don't know.
Ashley Madison.
I said Flaggart as a joke.
That's a joke.
100 points.
What the fuck?
That was good.
They worked for a company called astronomer.
Oh.
What's you right, Al?
I just said, I don't know.
Come on, bro.
All right.
Sex with dudes in the day.
How many men did Bonnie Blue sleep with?
Go ahead.
1,012.
1,036 was my guess.
Yeah, I just put a thousand.
I put a million.
Because I believe in her.
1,057.
Wow.
O'Cosh gets 100 points.
Why she'd do extra.
Wow.
Do you want another round?
She really loves that.
I feel like Schultz is pissed.
Oh.
I want another round.
You want another round.
Yeah, we could do another round.
All right, let's go another round, all right?
Katie Perry went to space.
Okay.
Name two other women that went to space with Katie Perry.
What musician started the TikTok trend, 6-7, based off of one of his big songs?
Hmm.
Taylor Swift, one of the biggest artists of the year.
Just dropped the album, Showgirl.
Life of a Showgirl.
Name one song on the album.
Oh, yeah.
Come on.
That's not fair.
All right, go.
Oasis went on tour this year.
Name the two brothers.
And then final question.
How many bottles of baby oil were confiscated from Diddy's house?
Per the indictment.
And then last one, actually.
Name a famous musician that died this year.
Whoever has the most monthly streams
for the musician they name gets extra points.
All right, let's do it. Run it.
I'm completely out of order.
All right.
Who did Katie Perry go to space with? Alex.
Bezos bitch and Ellen.
That was close.
I like that. Like that. That's going to be 50 points.
That was tough.
Because technically Lauren Sanchez did go to space.
Lauren Sanchez.
Ellen is not in the country.
She's been out of the country.
Yeah, she's out of the country, bro.
Really?
Yeah.
All right, Shultz.
I had the No Doubt, the girl from No Doubt.
Gwen Stefani?
Gwen Stefani.
Okay.
Is she in it?
Nope.
Are you sure?
Yeah.
I mean, fact-checking me, Gwen Sponty did not go to space, bro.
You're thinking of Katie Perry.
Katie Perry and Gwen Stefani.
No.
No?
Why didn't you, Quinn Stefani, go to space?
Leah Thomas?
No, not allowed to Laia Thomas.
Caitlin Jenner was my guess, was one of them.
No.
Who drove the space?
I was what I was thinking
I said Caitlin Jenner for that exact reason
Okay who else Rosie O'Donnell
Nope
I thought the most feminine women I could think of
You sure Ellen didn't go
No Ellen didn't go to space
No doubt went
No okay
I think it's Katie Perry and a scientist
Question mark
Okay a scientist
There had to be a female scientist
All right who went
Who went? All right Gail King
Who
Oh it's not Oprah
Is Gail
Oprah adjacent
That's open bitch
Lauren Sanchez
Yeah
Isha Bo who is an aerospace engineer
Amanda Wynn
And Kary Ann Flynn
Who's Amanda win?
And what kind of win
Are we talking like WynNN or the Asian?
Vietnamese
Oh
NG
Why does that make a difference?
I was just curious I'm glad an Asian went
All right
She got a hundred points for now
One artist has the TikTok trend 6-7
I said Spirlex
The correct answer
Alex what was yours
Kanye
Okay, so the correct answer is Scrilla.
That's 50 points, right gosh.
That's 50 points.
Six, seven.
All right.
Next question.
Six, seven.
That should be 67 points, to be honest.
What was the next question?
In the spirit.
Name of Taylor Swift's song.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
Name a Taylor Swift song.
Yeah.
I had nothing, y'all.
I love Travis.
Yeah.
I love Travis.
Okay.
All right, let's see.
There's a white girl in the room.
Ophelia.
There you go.
Ophelia.
Yes.
What did you put?
She got her own.
All right.
What is it?
The fate of Ophelia.
Oh, got on.
I really don't like her bicycle board.
Don't let him
that's not to your car like that.
That's exploitative.
Yeah, that's fucked up.
He's negative.
HR in the room, y'all.
Yeah, that is fucked up.
I don't like it.
You didn't have to do it like that.
Do that shit outside the office.
Thank you.
What did you put?
I put, oh, Kelsey cracked my cervix.
Is that a name of one of the songs?
That's 30 points.
That's 50 points for Alex.
All right.
All right, go.
How do you get 30 points?
Crack my service.
It's kind of funny.
Yeah.
All right.
All right.
Okay.
Because he always says that group.
Yep.
And you two.
Wait.
Funny.
What?
50 points.
Let's go.
I know this one.
That's 50 points.
I know this one.
All right.
What is it?
Noah and Liam.
Say again?
Noah and Liam.
No.
Okay.
I love what you're confidently wrong.
Yeah.
I'm looking it's very close
You're very close
What is it?
It's Liam
And then another one
I forgot that one
No what is it
It's Liam and
Noel
You got both?
I was bad close
You got both
All right 100 points for Alex
All right
Give me 50 for Alex
Yeah 75
Thank you
50 for Shultz
25 for Alex
Media
No I get 50
All right fine
It's 50
I don't get a fuck out there
How many balls of baby
I were at Diddy's house
I think it was 10,000
$10 is what I wrote down
200
I wrote 10
The correct answer is 1,000.
Oh, that was my second.
I knew it was a factor.
I'm the closest without going over.
What did you say?
200.
They said 10,000.
Oh, yeah, that's a good point.
All right.
All right.
Price is right, game.
All right.
I'm going to need hell, Miles.
I need you to look these up.
I'm looking up a lot.
Name a musician that died.
What the fuck was that about?
He's just like,
that's aggressive just now.
All right.
You're going to help me.
I'm locked in.
I got some good answers.
Name a musician that died this year.
The guy who got killed by his son was, did he do music?
Come on, bro.
I show the guy that died.
He's a musician that died.
Go.
It's, he just died.
And people know him, so he's either music or two.
He's not a musician.
He's a director and actor.
I wrote the guy from the Stone Roses, because I forgot his name,
but I feel like that's partial points.
The Stone Roses?
Yeah.
I've never.
Rock band.
Is that?
No.
Who is like some local band?
Oh, it's better than you?
Some local band.
didn't um didn't janet jackson die
why you're trying to kill him out
alcon wings bro
come on janet
i don't think janet just ignore him to death like a
fuck
damn
50 gets points
the answer's quincy jones
oh quincy jones died this year
also didn't david bowie die this year
oh no
that was he
de angelo years ago
de angelo is a good one
DeAngelo.
How does it feel?
How does it feel?
Shout out DeAngelo.
No one gets points.
Wincy Jones died in 2024.
Wow.
Take that.
He should get some credit for DeAngelo, yeah.
Ozzy Oswald would have been a great answer.
He died this year.
Ozzy.
Ozzy's the highest.
But you would think also seconded Brian Wilson,
but he doesn't have that many streams compared to his band.
From the Beach Boys.
All right.
You want sports?
Ozzy.
No.
Sports.
I'm into it.
He really thought he was cooking with this show.
I'm having fun,
I'm having fun.
It'll be on Patreon.
He'll be on Patreon.
Don't worry.
It'll be on Patreon.
Ew.
I really did think that.
What are we at time?
I really did think that.
Yeah, come on.
Go on.
No, I want to have...
We got nine minutes.
It's a 10 minute clock.
Come on, let's go.
Is there anything else you all wanted to talk about?
This is on Patreon.
This is on Patreon.
I just want to make sure within the last 10 minutes that we talk about everything we want to talk about.
That's fair.
There was, maybe there was another thing that we were going to talk about.
I mean, there are many other things.
So this F is ending right at the tent.
I don't care if you're mid-sentence.
It's cut.
I like that.
Miles, Miles.
He's angry.
You can't speak to us like you speak to Alex and Woody of Spurs.
Okay?
You're not going to be a commanding, powerful individual here.
We might go to overtime.
That's true.
There might be an overtime in this episode.
There might be an overtime.
We might go dark.
Go dark.
We don't care.
Think we need these lights?
That's true.
I do.
We got New Yorker the week.
We got some Gen Z boomer school shit.
we can put you on.
Yo, I need...
I feel like I'm...
I feel like I spend enough time online
that I'm nice with the Gen Z shit.
All right.
I feel like it's probably impossible
for you guys to surprise me
with any content whatsoever.
This is all shifting.
That's this gene.
Do you know about this?
Say the color on beat.
Can we?
Blue pink, blue pink.
Blue by pink.
Oh.
Pink green, pink green, pink green, pink green.
I'd say blue.
You fucking idiot.
Green, purple, green, purple, green, purple, green, purple, purple.
Purple red, purple, red, purple red, purple red, purple red.
Green blue, purple, green, pink red, blue, purple.
Come on, bro.
So this is what y'all do?
This is what y'all do?
You want to level it up?
This is what you're doing.
This is what you're generating.
This is the next group.
people are going to lead America?
I'm truly discouraged by this.
Chair, chair, chair, pair, pair, chair.
You got out.
Bear, bear, bear, bear, chair, bear, bear, pair, pair, pair, chair.
Pair, bear, bear, bear, bear, bear, chair.
Shoot a mark, y'all.
Bear, bear, bear, pair, bear, bear, chair, pair, bear.
Bear, pair, pair, chair, bear, chair, chair.
I killed that.
All right, last one.
Bubble butter.
Bubble butter, bubble, bubble, bubble, bubble, bubble, butter.
Butter, bubble, bubble, bird, butter, butter, butter, bubble, bird.
Bubble, bubble, bubble, bird.
Baby bird, bubble, butter.
Butter, bubble, bath, baby.
Butter, bubble, bath, baby.
garbage butter fly
Babble bubble bab bab bab bab bab bab bab bab yeah
You can't keep throwing in new ones
That I don't know what they are
Come on all right but this is like
You guys hang out together and do this
Funfiel?
Like that generation is cooked bro
I've only ever seen David and Mark
Y'all should eat like
Tiepods or something like
At least we were doing fun shit
Yeah
But I'm trying to understand like what is
How does this come to be?
You react to it on TikTok
It's how the kids are doing it
Got it.
So you show yourself doing it, you share it, and then everyone shares it.
Got it.
Just like we just did.
But, like, would you do it with your friends as a collective?
No.
This is not happening at the coffee shop?
No, we did it today in the office, and it was quite fun.
Yeah.
Was it?
Yeah.
I enjoyed it.
Yeah.
What else is Gen Z got?
Can we do New York of the week?
Because I'm over.
I need just wait one more little Gen Z action.
All right?
This one came from Shifty, all right?
Damn.
He's actually Gen Z though
He would know
Yeah, I don't know this one
I mean he don't feel confident
He's trying to put it on it
I don't know this one
He's trying to shit
Give me the ball
I don't know it
I don't know it
That's the only thing
So I'm not able to explain it as well
Shiff did you want to explain
This is popping in Atlanta right now
Yeah
So in Atlanta
There's this joke
Where these girls
Were like posting
their food in restaurants
But for some reason
In Atlanta restaurants
It's so dark for no reason
So all these girls
are using their flashlights
to take videos
So people started making these, like, jokes where it's super, like, dark for the food.
And then it turned into just being low-exposure jokes.
People at home, I'm sorry.
Hey, can't be honest, this shit making me not want to have kids.
Like, if this is what they're going to grow up doing, I'm good.
I don't want my kid acting like this thing and this is fucking entertaining.
What did you start with?
We get fun shit, homophobia.
Yes.
Fun, hilarious.
There's racism, but it's fun.
That's true.
Racism, fun, hilarious.
The essence of this podcast.
This is what is happening
in Atlanta. The Falcons literally just posted this
today. Cote body
Losing weight. EBT, Section 8.
There's
no way.
You're telling me, the Atlanta Falcons football
franchise. That's from the official Falcons account.
Fuck.
People are calling it Cheekin Alfredo music.
Do you want to do the pot in Atlanta?
Yeah.
Is this a plot in Atlanta?
Nah.
Atlanta pod.
This is what's happening with the kids, bro.
Yeah.
This is what Gen Z is doing.
Yeah, man.
No, this is...
We got time for New York of the week.
We got time.
I just need something to cleanse my palate.
New York of the week.
We got a couple suggestions.
All right.
I'll let the person that submitted this say why.
He's lost all confidence.
everything. It's a rhyme. Mark.
No, this looks fun.
What do you have on this screen?
God.
My words and the shame.
I love this guy.
It didn't work.
This is incredible.
Who suggested that one?
That was Joey.
I liked it.
That guy's good.
Y'all have that belt buckle where you can put words on it.
There's LED buckle.
I never bought it, but I'm familiar with what you're saying.
That's what that reminds me.
words did you put on it? My name
mainly. That's it? Anything else?
No, just my name.
Alex, would you like to chime in on this at all?
Every time he opens his mouth.
Wait, what? I'm scared
of whatever accusations.
Damn. Three minutes left.
You're making
your co-workers
afraid.
That is, that's not fair.
Do better. That's not fair.
That's not fair. That's not fair.
That's all right. I'm totally fine with you
guys being friends as long as there's no
hooking up. And if you guys do that on your own time
it's totally fine, but if, you know, Shifty catches you
and he tells me it is what it is.
It is what it is. It is what it is.
Shifty, you told me that Miles
cleaned the little tomato
sauce off her cheek. Oh, that's cute.
So you guys meet together, Miles
did one of these with the napkin. He was like
you got a little something in her cheek.
That's cute. That must have been someone else. I wasn't
me. It must have been another blonde
friend of it. There's a microphone. You got to use it. I know it's
A little sephalic for you.
Oh, here we go.
Here we go.
So this is another...
Now we're talking.
Another suggestion for New York or the week.
Isn't that on?
The new journey.
Local friend of mine, the legend, little Pete.
You know, there's this group of college kids, man.
And they really love watching my videos.
So I sent them the ticket link along with my phone number so they could buy tickets
to come and watch my show.
The next day, I got a call from one of the kids' mothers.
And she was like, you sold my son tickets to your show.
I was like, yes, ma'am, I did.
I said, but don't worry, the show has not sold out yet.
And I would love nothing more than for you and your entire family to come and watch me live.
She was like, my son is never coming to see your filthy show.
I've seen your videos online and you are bad, bad.
That's right, baby.
Yo, little Pete, that boy, a bad man.
Now let's get this
fucking money, baby.
Let's fucking get this money, Pete.
I love that, you know.
Let's get this money now.
God bless.
That's New York or the week.
That's got a little piece of legend, bro.
You know, little Pete, the goat.
Accidental dice clay is what we call.
Some of my buddy Roe, he calls him in the biz.
You know what I mean?
Do we have a call?
Yeah.
Oh, Mark.
What's up, my brother?
Yo, Lil P, what's up, baby?
Lil P.
How you been, man?
Yo, I'm doing excellent, bro.
I have great news for you.
Tell me, what's up?
You are officially the Flagrant podcast, New Yorker of the week, bro.
Congratulations.
Get the fuck out of here.
Get the fuck out of here.
You're New York of the week, bro.
You're on the podcast live right now, Pete.
That's fucking awesome, bro.
That's fucking awesome.
Pete, Pete, you're on the pod right now.
You're live.
I'm on the pod right now.
You guys are my fucking favorites, bro.
You know, we love you.
Shout out to fucking everybody over there.
Thank you, my brother.
We love you, man.
What are we going to do
about these Muslims, bro?
Oh, hold on.
Wait.
Oh, man.
Feed him some fucking
Baba Gnuch and fucking let it
fucking take itself out on it.
Come on, Pete.
I like it.
Oh, man.
You know, give him some bad shulama,
you know what I'm saying?
You've been at the strip club?
Have you been at the strip club lately?
Uh, once around Halloween, yeah.
Oh, nice.
Did you, you mean any baddies of the strip club or what?
I picked up a six-foot batty.
I got to send you the pictures of us eating that fushimi.
We were taking pictures by the Christmas tree.
Oh, fuck you.
She's taller than you and Andrew.
She's bigger than both of you guys.
She's a good person, though.
She's a good person.
You know, is it true that you had to fight your mom's boyfriend?
Yeah, I knocked them out and everything.
I almost went to jail.
Wait, why?
Why?
What happened?
It was over a pint of ice cream.
He was like, we should have got the $2.99 deal.
I was like, get the fuck out of my house.
What was the flavor?
He's like, I'm not leaving.
No, so like two days later, he had filed a police report.
And two days later, I'm just getting home from work.
There's a knock at my door.
It's the cops.
My mother's like, yo, do you have to put the handcuffs on?
The guy's like, oh, unfortunately, ma'am.
Yeah, we do.
But she was the only witness.
She was the only witness.
So she killed his case, you know?
There you go.
Now, what flavor was the ice cream?
Okay, canoli-flavored Ben and Jerry.
It is fucking delicious.
It's not worth getting your fucking head cracked open, but it's good.
You know what I'm saying?
That's funny.
Yo, Pete, we love you, dog.
Yo.
I love you guys, too, man.
Yo, congrats.
I woke up the week.
I woke up this morning, right?
And I had a follow from Burt Kreiser on my phone.
I'm like, yo, what's going on?
I sent it to Roe, and he was like, oh, shit.
Because you're popping, bro.
It's happening, my boy.
It's happening.
Accidental dice clay, the legend.
Oh, man.
Bro, let me know when to do the Flagramp podcast.
I will be there.
Well, you are doing it right now.
Oh, I'm doing it right now.
Oh, even better.
Yo, Merry fucking Christmas, yo.
Let's go.
That's all.
Talking about people.
Even the Muslims.
Even though they'll celebrate that shit.
Yo, God bless you, bro.
Love you, dog.
I'll see you soon.
Love you, buddy.
Thank you, Pete.
All right, cool, cool.
Oh, the legend.
Little Pete.
Oh, I love him.
Shout out, little Pete, dude.
He's the best, dude.
We might need little Pete to pull up, bro.
We might need him to do the weather.
We got a weather segment with Little Pete once a week.
I love that.
We have our weekly weather man.
a politics expert?
Oh.
Yeah, yeah.
We got to give them a little segment.
Something.
Anyway, guys.
Who won the game, by the way, Joey?
Do you know what the final scores were?
Akash won with 320 points,
followed by White Alex.
Let's go.
Good job, y'all.
We did it.
Good job.
I thought we were supposed to get each other's gifts.
Did you get gifts?
Yeah, I did.
Oh, what did you get?
Over here, see?
Should we do the gifts on Patreon?
No, fuck that.
We don't know.
Do it now.
I do it now.
I want everyone to know.
You'll enjoy it.
We're going to overtime for the gifts?
You'll enjoy it.
We'll enjoy it.
No, I think we got to do the gifts on Patreon now.
Oh, all right.
Sorry, guys.
That gives us time to buy something.
Yeah, then we can go run and grab some.
All right, patreon.com.
Is that for everybody?
Is that you got one thing for everybody or one thing for...
I thought we're doing white elephant.
Yo, we love y'all, man.
Peace.
Peace.
Peace.
