Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh - Alexx Got A Tesla

Episode Date: September 13, 2019

This week Andrew, Akaash, and Kaz discuss: flexing with a Tesla, gay penguins, AB's sexual assault accusation, Blake Griffin roasting Caitlyn Jenner, and much more. INDULGE!!! Want to hear the rest of the episode? Become a Patron! www.Patreon.com/Flagrant2

What's the penalty for coming on somebody? Son, it's like... I don't even know what she's asking for. That shit is mad gross, B. It's mad gross, but like... Rape? Nah, but that shit gotta be close. You know what I mean?

It's gotta be close, B. The way he said it was like, yeah, it's kinda gross, but... Rape? It's not rape, but it's community close, man. The way he said it, it's like, yeah, it's kinda gross, but rape? It's not rape, but it's community service, bro. I think. Nah.

Oh, come on. You're getting time for just a little cum? How many times have you been in a room? You ain't getting time for a little cum. I don't even like

when birds poop. Like, if bird poop hits me, that shit feels vulnerable and violated. But you try to lock that bird up? It should be. For doing all kinds of natural that. It should be.

I lock him up in an aquarium, make him gay. That's what Rocky did to Melisandre or whatever that other bane went bitchy. I know Antonio Brown is quick, but goddamn. How quick do you have to nut for you to not know somebody's about to nut on your back in the same

fucking room? I know the motherfucker is fast, but goddamn, like, that is... Yeah, what's the penalty for that? Yo, what part of the sermon do you think he came at? That's what I'm saying. He was holding it? He was just slow beating it,

waiting for the right moment? Yo, when people are casting the hole, he goes, he caught his... Let his off. She caught his... That's a good question, though. When they're receiving communion, it's like, and here is my body.

The body is my body. So you think jail time. Probably the Hail Mary. Son, it's like, real talk, it's like, it's just so gross to me. It's not even the sexual thing of it. It's gross. It's gross, for sure. You shouldn't be able to spit on somebody.

Yeah, yeah. I agree. That's gross, bro. Like, spitting, you don't go to jail for on somebody. Yeah, yeah. I agree. Like, that's gross, bro. Like, spitting, you don't go to jail for spitting on someone. That's my point. Yo, I think that spitting on someone should be no different than punching them. Like, if you can go to jail for punching someone, then you can go to jail for spitting. That's at least.

It's gross, B. You're at least. Intentionally spitting? Not like we're yelling at each other and spit comes out, but like a. Yeah, so then where's the fine line somebody's gonna be like oh he was talking hard and he spit on purpose

or some shit like that that's the beauty of the law you can prove you didn't do it say what could he spit on a cop nah exactly there it is

he probably shouldn't be able to spit on a person it depends who you ask I don't know that's for some people to pay their way out of spitting on a cop yo but you know what's so crazy is that like you would think that you would pay their way out of spitting on a cup. Yo, but you know

what's so crazy is that like You would think that you would pay their way out of nothing on a bat too. Yeah, you can. But like with spit

it's like it's not only with spit it's just like almost everything physical like the more wrong it is to do to a person in life the hotter it is

to do to a woman in bed. Like you can't spit on a stranger but like if you see a girl's asshole Like, you can't spit on a stranger, but like if you see a girl's asshole and you don't immediately spit on it, something's wrong with you. Okay, but by that logic, what did A.B. do that's so bad? Ain't that like quite the turn on?

Right. They in bed. By your exact... Oh, no, no, no. I don't think they were in bed. The way I imagine, she was on a couch just watching a sermon and he like crept up behind her. I imagine they're both in bed. She like just got her was on the couch just watching a sermon and he like crept up behind her. I imagine they're both in bed. She like just got her feet kicked up,

you know, ankles crossed. Oh no, I thought it was his scenario. Like she's just watching TV and he just, like surprise. No,

if you're in bed, you get cummed on. That's part of the bed. That's part of the bed. That's part of the rules of bed. Anything that happens between that like eight by eight.

That's the UFC ring? That's the ring. Everything's legal. Everything's legal up in that cage. Except no knees while you're on the ground. Literally almost everything's legal. Like if you're in the bed, you can get cummed on. Let's be honest.

Like you're already in my house. Like I should be able to show you my dick in my house. That I 100% believe that. Oh my God. 100% agreed, right? We're all, it's my house, my dick. My house, my rules, right? All right, a week ago you was on my bed.

You could have... Honestly, you had the right to come on me if you wanted, bro. I couldn't have really said... Put it this way. Real talk. Real talk. Let's say... Real talk. Let's say. Real talk.

Let's say this. Hold on. Hold on. He got the right. He got the right. He got the right. I'm in his bed. What am I doing in his bed if I'm not trying to get a come down?

Real talk. Who am I to say you can't come on your own bed? Let's say this. Let's say I'm in your bed. Right? Let's say I'm in your bed. And then you have a wet dream And you bust off on me A little bit

Without even knowing That's my fault That's my fault That is your fault I'm in a lot of fire That is your fault Why are you not wearing Pants in bed

Is my question Nah sometimes you get In the middle of a wet dream Pull your dick out You never have a wet dream Where you pull your dick out And then you start beating off In your dream

Y'all never did that I've never had a wet dream Yeah you wet sleep jerk You never had a wet sleep jerk I never had a wet dream Me neither You never had a wet dream Nah ever

Oh I be having wet dreams Every once in a while Cause I like to get pent up Nah cause I got shorty But when I don't have a shorty And if I'm not fucking, like, I'll get pent up because I don't jerk off. You only get wet dreams when you don't jerk off. I can see that. So it's like cup runneth over.

Yeah. Cup runneth over. Yeah, gotcha. So busting off in a wet dream, bro, that shit is lit. That shit is lit, bro. That isn't like. Then you wake up and you're like, why'd I fuck her? Because it's not always the best looking bitch that you dream to.

You can't control your dream. So sometimes I've pre-cum in my wet dreams before. That's embarrassing. Seriously? Yeah, it's like how you let yourself down. Didn't even laugh the whole clip. Right? I almost fucked I almost fucked

Christina Aguilera And I was like Damn I just buzzed in my pants Before I fucked Christina Aguilera I just imagined Christina Aguilera

Just looking at you With disappointment And it was It was back when Dirty Dirty That was On my body

That was That was A B should just say He was sleepwalking That's it First of all She's in my house Yeah sleepwalking I'm sleepwalking.

I'm a God-fearing man. You know how much I love God? This girl was watching sermons while I was asleep, so I had to give her some sermons. Some pre-sermons. I had to give her some pre-sermons. Yo, what's up? this is Akash That was a preview of our Patreon episode

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