Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh - Andrew Schulz Answers "Why Comedy Must Be Offensive"

Episode Date: March 26, 2020

What up people, Schulzy here with Mark Gagnon. Today we gonna talk about WHY quarantine is so difficult, why giving Native Americans smallpox blankets might be a myth, and we get to the BOTTOM of oxygen. INDULGE.

What's up everybody? Welcome to another episode of the Corona Chronicles, the Quarantine Chronicles, the Red Table Cough, the Chronicles. I think there's other ones, but I forgot them. We got the music back. I know some of you asking for that. We forgot on the last episode, a lot of things going on over here. We're preparing for America's Got Talent. Psych! Corona's Got Talent. I'm here with Marky Gags. Mark Gagnon. What's up, everybody? Is it Marky Gagnon on Instagram?

Yeah, Marky Gagnon. Marky Gags on Twitter. Yeah, I got to fix that on Twitter, bro. No, you don't. That's too suggestive, bro. You think? Marky Gags? What do you think, bro?

Maybe that's what makes it sticky. People might think I'm sick. Sick or something else, bro. Sick with the gay. That used to be a sickness, man. Down with the thickness, bro. Dude, that used to be a sickness. Gay used to be a sickness.

And now it's just something that we accept that people have. It's like Corona in that way. You know? Only affects the old people, doesn't it? That gay really pisses off the old people. Young people, we don't care. We're out there with the gay. You know?

We'll share a water fountain. We'll go play basketball. We don't care. Do we think we're going to get it? No. We think we're impervious to the Corona or the gay. But sometimes it slips up in you. You know what I'm saying, Mark?

No. Me neither. I'll get back on track. Welcome to another episode, guys. I've been thinking a lot about why Corona is so difficult to deal with. Not Corona, but why quarantine is so difficult to deal with. And well, cheers on that. I got coffee and I got water, but I'm going to hit y'all with the water today.

Cheers, everybody. And here's why. Corona or the quarantine is so difficult because it throws off your emotional diet, man. My emotional diet is all out of whack. I'm 36 years old. At 36, I've figured out pretty much what I need to stay stable mentally. Okay. It's a nice, healthy balance, I've got the emotional side of a relationship, you know, somebody I'm building something with, somebody who is satisfying that heartfelt, loving connection, I think that we all need, and maybe we don't need it, but you know, I need it uh filling

that void if you will right and then i had stand-up which was great you know there's also a little void that that fills exercise calms this thing uh down up here you know when you're not exercising at least for me i can think about things a million miles a second and sometimes it's better to not overthink sometimes it's better just be like ah fuck Who cares? And that's a better way to go through life. So, and also diet. You know, I've spoken to you guys about certain things. I just try not to eat because they fuck me up up here. So I have this all down.

Everything is good. I've got my schedule. I'm doing my kickboxing, right? I'm making sure I'm on the road on the weekends, maybe doing some shows during the week. I'm getting sleep. That was part of it. Never in my life did I give a fuck about sleep. And all of a sudden, I'm like, well, it's kind of important to sleep shit, you know, you don't sleep, nothing else functions, my brain shuts off, just can't think, can't think

of words, can't think of references, there's only things I just cannot think of if I'm not sleeping well, then this quarantine comes around, and I can't work out, brain isn't as sharp, I can't work out. Brain isn't as sharp. I can't do stand-up. And I'm still getting that emotional connection with my girl, but it's different. Because now the responsibility we both have for each other has changed, right? Like, my girl, and I'm imagining many of you guys at home as well, think, I feel like it's easy for me to chop up my job and find out exactly where and what I'm getting from each different thing.

You know, chop up my life rather. Like I know I'm getting this positive reinforcement when I do standup, etc. But I think a lot of people who have regular jobs don't realize how much positive reinforcement they get from their regular job. Like just being funny at the office, that kind of fills you up, you know, just talking to a couple friends during lunch, or even co-workers, or some old person that you've kind of befriended, and they're like your pseudo dad at work, or uncle, or aunt, or whatever it is, but like, we need that shit, you know, and there's a lot of people who are literally just stuck inside all day with the same person, and

that one person might not be enough to fill that emotional diet. And all of a sudden, when you're not getting that emotional diet filled, you start to be a little bit resentful that you don't feel good. And who else is around to put that resentment on? That only other person that you're seeing all fucking day. It's like the perfect recipe for disaster. I don't know who designed this virus. But it's just fucking genius. Because it destroys everything in its path.

It's like the way that the Bible talked about locusts or something. Were locusts in the Bible, Mark? Yeah. It's not only destructive to people's health. But also to the economy. like their mental health too. You know, it's tricky. It's a tricky thing to deal with. Like, how do you readjust your life?

And how do you prepare for the future? I always think about that. Like, because I love stand up and I love making sure I get enough exercise to stay calm. And I'm like, well, what am I going to do when I can't do exercise? Like, what do I do when I can't just run my brain into being calm? Right. Or like kickbox my brain into become what I do at like 65 or my joints and bones. They just don't want to do that shit anymore. Do I start meditating? Right. Do I do yoga? Like, what the fuck do you do? Because I don't think my brain's going to slow down either as well.

Rather, I think my brain's going to continue being the kind of like wild, crazy thing it is. So how the fuck do I calm it down? Maybe I understand why, like Duval becomes a pothead at 40. You know what I mean? It's either smoking weed or like doing cardio. It's like, fuck that. I think maybe weed makes perfect sense at the right age. Maybe when you're young and you're smoking weed to calm this down, it's like you're fucking lazy. It's like go run a couple miles, piece of shit.

You're a 20-year-old pothead. Stop it. Go play basketball. Use your joints that still function. But if you're like a 50-year-old pothead, I kind of get it. Or if you're a pothead, but you've like, I don't know, you lost some limbs and shit, so you can't work out in the same way.

If you're basically in a situation where you can't de-stress your brain with exercise, smoke that fucking weed, man man maybe it was like just the indian chiefs that smoked the peace pipe you had to earn the right to smoke the peace pipe maybe i don't know everyone else got to chase a buffalo or fold the blankets we're making a lot of blanket jokes about indians man we really are and i don't even know how true the blanket thing is. How true is the blanket thing? I mean, you think that there'd be more blankets today,

like in museums, right? Bro, if these blankets were just American Native Americans, well, they're not going to keep them around. But you don't think there's one blanket? I've never seen a blanket.

I've never seen the smallpox blanket. I have a feeling that this is a an isolated incidence i don't think that this was just like i don't think literally the king or queen of england was like all right i've got an idea i don't know what accent i'm dead i think it was like scottish. We liberated ourselves from people in Sydney. That's what you think? Ah, the king of Melbourne. Just give him Vegemite.

That'll take him out. No, but for real, how do you do an English accent? I can either do Australian or English. I think English is a bit more like... But what about... Then I go into Scottish. What about posh English? Hello, mate.

No, no. Well, yeah, I think like posh is a bit more like this, right? I think posh is a bit more like this. I think it's a bit more like your tongue on your lips. Oh, okay. All right. Yeah. Talking about the posh, that queen of England will not let her son be fucking king, boy.

You got to respect that old bitch. He got coronavirus. He's probably going to be out of here soon. The only crown that he's getting is corona, bro. Corona means crown in Spanish, for those of you guys who didn't know. We're translating shit. We got music going.

It's an educational experience. But back to the blankets. I cannot fathom that that was an official policy of the English army. And if it was, wouldn't they use it everywhere? Right? Like, they literally colonized the entire world. Now, I'm not trying to justify

them saying that they're, like, dignified or some shit, but, like, who was it? Just the English or the Dutch, too, right? It was the Dutch. They were also colonizing. America? Yeah. Yeah, and the French. New Amsterdam, the French, everybody. So what, they all had a fucking group chat going where they're like,

all right, have we tried blankets? Boom, hit them off with the blankets. They love staying warm. They haven't figured out blankets. Also, how have Native Americans not figured out blankets? Like, if someone came to me with a present, right, and it was like, here's a blanket, you'd roll your eyes. It's not like they put the blanket on and they're like, whoa, you could sleep warm?

That's fucking crazy. Yeah, that goes on the back of the couch. You're throwing it. No people are touching that. That's why it's called a throw rug. That's where you got the throw rug from. They literally handed them the blanket and they put that shit on the ground. They't give a fuck about it i can't fathom this is official policy i'm not saying horrible things weren't done but i'm saying i cannot fathom that a general of an

army that has weapons and horses and the finest technology that exists at the time is going to sit down and write with a quill and ink on some parchment, fuck the guns, give them some blankets. That's how we're going to take out the Cherokee. Bro, your weapon of mass destruction could get bought at Nordstrom. Dude, can we be honest here, Mark? What a great way to go. Think about how cozy you were before you went right like like most people in war how are they dying right sword right to their fucking forehead or bullet in their chest

reason to death in russia freezing to death in russia right native americans oh boy did i have a dream last night it was that my skin was all pocked up and itchy. I caught it. This dream catcher. Dude. The dream catcher. Oh, shit. Maybe that's what kept in the pox. Not pox. What is it?

What is it called? The what? Smallpox? Oh, it is chicken pox. What a better pox chicken yeah yeah i mean realistically speaking the name smallpox you don't even take seriously like if somebody was like yo you can get you get chicken pox or smallpox i'm like bro give me a small one it's like i don't want to get a fucking chicken pox can get chicken pox or small pox. I'm like, bro, give me the small ones. I don't want to get fucking chicken pox out here. Chicken pox is way more scary.

Did you have chicken pox as a kid, Mark? Nope. You never had chicken pox? I don't think so. You're still susceptible now then. Yeah. And it's more dangerous now too. Way more dangerous, dude.

So if you give me a Snuggie, I'll be like, nah, I'm good, bro. You know that Mark does not sleep with blankets. This is a real thing that goes on. He's afraid of getting a pox. It's a real thing. What do you sleep with, Mark? Calm. What?

Just snuggle. Just snuggle up here. What happens? You sleep with a blanket. You get small pox. You sleep with a down comforter. You get syndrome. Downs.

Yeah. Oh, that syndrome gets you. Anyway, look. is it right? Is it wrong? I'm not sure. I'm not sure anymore. I don't know what you can. I don't know what you cannot talk about.

You know, we were talking about this yesterday. It is mind boggling to me that, like, you know, I have friends who will do specials on Netflix and stuff. And Netflix will cut certain jokes. They'll be like, that joke's a little inappropriate. You can't keep that joke. Usually Netflix is good. They will keep in a lot of stuff, but they do sometimes remove stuff. And I don't understand their perspective on removing jokes for being too offensive

when literally their entire platform is rape and murder shows. Either shows or documentaries. Is the entire platform. If there was no rape or murder. Is Netflix in business? Better question. Who has made more money off rape and murder than Netflix in recent history? Obviously, in the past.

America, baby. Or England. The Vikings did pretty good. There's some people that did well with rape and murder. Vegas Con. Yo, rape and murder was like the original. I don't know. Maybe that was the original.

Hmm. What is the thing that you profit off of the most i'll get back to it point being how can you have all these shows that you green light about serial killers uh serial rapists murderers even just shows that have are completely fake someone just wrote it just like a joke they literally just found a story and wrote it down some kid gets fucking raped or some kid gets murdered right in no way are they going you can't put that on the platform but the second a comedian makes a joke that's off color it could be too racial it could be too homophobic just some sort of joke that is exactly no different at all from the netflix series it was just fabricated completely made up that is in some way too offensive why are we afraid of comedy and not reality or drama i would even go further to say that they're not the same i would even say that the actual depiction right of a rape or a murder

is way more graphic and potentially traumatizing than a joke about it. Yes, 100%. I would even say the depictions could be worse. Depictions could be worse. Here's the thing. This is my theory on why we take jokes about these topics so much more serious than we take TV shows or movies about these topics. There's certain things you're not... I think when you make someone laugh at something, it seems like it's okay.

What is the term? Normalize? Right? Like, anytime I would tell, like, a Trump joke where it was, like, defending Trump, there'd always be some people like, you're normalizing hate. You're normalizing... It're normalizing it's such a weird term but i guess the idea is like if we're laughing at something then that means it's okay

i don't think that means it's okay i think i laugh at a lot of things that i don't think are okay right like the idea of like giving blankets to native americans and then like accepting it and then like passing them around the entire community right dude we laugh at stuff that's not okay all the time a guy getting hit in the balls on america's funniest home videos is not okay if you just hit some random guy in the balls you'd go to jail dude fat people falling it's terrible terrible that's right we laugh at the things that are terrible and i really think it's a it's i think it's like an evolutionary precaution it's built into our systems to help us deal with things to help us deal with things that are actually emotionally difficult for us to deal with like i think sociopaths or like psychopaths they don't

laugh at the same things that we do i don't think that they're i my my my assumptions they don't laugh at the same things that we do i don't think that they're i my my my son is they don't think it's that funny because they lack the empathy right when they see someone fall they see somebody hurt themselves they're not laughing in the same way where we'll laugh because we're like oh that must really suck you must be really embarrassed you know like you ever watch a scene in a movie where you gotta like close your eyes not because it's scary because something so embarrassing is about to happen yeah right so it's evoking an emotion you're like oh my god i can't believe this is about to happen right somehow that movie is like connecting to us i wonder if that's true because if you think about it like like i used to say this like people be

like i'm offended by that joke and i'm like oh well that's good because it's a terrible thing you know what i mean like if you're not offended that would be an indication that you're cold or psych yeah like being offended and laughing are not mutually exclusive yeah oftentimes you could be offended by something or find something real maybe not be offended but find something offensive and find it hilarious but that's where the tension comes from is that there's yes internal stress have you ever heard joe toplan's thing about like why we laugh who's that he was like a writer for letterman he wrote this book called writing for late night but he talks in the book why we laugh like biologically one theory okay what'd he say this is like the i may have told this to you stop me if i have basically he says back in the day,

you'd be walking around and you're patrolling your little, your tent, your hut, your cave, whatever it is. It's like a primal human. Yeah. All of a sudden, you hear a noise and you look out in the grass

and you see the grass moving. Yeah. And you're like, holy shit, there's a tiger in the grass that's about to eat me. Yeah. So you get all stressed. You get panicked. Yeah. Where's Joe Exotic? Yeah, exactly. Your there's a tiger in the grass that's about to eat me. Yeah. So you get all stressed. You get panicked.

Yeah. Where's Joe Exotic? Yeah, exactly. Your blood's going. Someone's loose. Someone's about to nibble your ear. Yeah. And you start getting freaked out.

And then all of a sudden the wind blows. And it's just two monkeys having sex. And you're just like, ha, ha, ha, ha. The release of that tension manifests as laughter. Yeah. And he says that it's just the simple release of tension. Yes. So going along with, like, the sociopath thing.

You don't feel tension. You can't laugh. If you're not afraid of a tiger, there's something off with you. Yeah. If you're not afraid of, like, rape and murder, there's something off with you. Well, I think that's why, like, you see a lot of these, like, sociopaths or even psychopaths, like, end up being, maybe not a lot of, but a certain percentage of them end up being like these serial rapists or serial murderers i think they're actually trying to feel something and i think they're going to the furthest extreme to feel something right like i could feel horrible by just being mean to someone like if i said something mean to you i'd feel

an emotion i'd feel something right i'd be like ah fuck i have fucked it. That was a mean thing to say, Mark. Let me apologize. If they don't feel that on a regular basis, they slap someone, they don't feel it, they're just going to the next extreme. They're going to the next board. When am I finally going to feel some pain? It's like, you know those people that hang themselves by hooks on their back or they get their ears all holes in their ears? That's what cutting is. Cutting. on their back or like they get those like they get their ears all like holes in their ears cutting is like why the cutting like cut exactly so it's like how can they feel something and they have to go to that extreme and what's more extreme than rape or murder it's the same thing and that's

what netflix makes money on so and the office and the office no the office is off not yet i thought it's off no i think at the end of the year. Oh, whatever. Eventually they lose it. I'm not trying to take shots here, guys. I'm just trying to say it is a kind of interesting thing. So, I saw an interesting story about this whole, like the uh global economic warfare with corona um now that nobody's driving anywhere nobody's going anywhere everybody's staying inside or at least that's what they're supposed to do but way less people are driving right way less people are driving, right? Way less people are using oil. So like the price of gas has gone way down.

And so usually what they do to make sure that the value of gas doesn't go down too far is they start limiting the amount of gas they take out of the ground. Like Saudi Arabia, they'll just start producing way less, right? So it's kind of like De debiers does with diamonds right they like release a limited amount of diamonds out into the market so that diamonds can maintain their value same thing goes with oil right so russia knows that the saudi economy is dependent on oil and the american economy in a lot of ways depend on oil. So what it's doing is instead of Russia also adjusting its prices to maintain the value of oil, it's actually flooding the market with oil. Right. Which will bring the price of oil even further down and fuck up those economies that are completely oil dependent.

So it's just an interesting thing that goes on. It's like where they say all is fair in love and war. It's like people are still at war. You know, there's still a Cold War going on. Countries are still vying for, you know, that top spot or even that second or third spot. You know, you need to be in second before you could be a first. So if Russia's like, all right, boom, maybe I could jump up the ladder during this time of crisis. Might as well do it.

Russia never gave a fuck if people ended up dying. How many Russians died in World War II? 25 million, they say. You know, they don't give a fuck if they lose a few million to the corona to coronavirus honestly it'd probably be like less of a strain on their system i really wonder if these like communist countries or even like socialist countries are that upset at corona like the psychos that run them they look at people as just cogs in a machine. Like, it's just cutting off some fat, right? There's some dead weight. Dude, the cost of oil has dropped a lot.

Do you know the figures? What? So at the beginning of the year, it was $65 a barrel. And now? At the beginning of the coronavirus pandemic, it dropped to like $20. Whoa. And now, according to The Guardian, it's suggesting it could drop below $10 a barrel. Can we just buy it? below $10 a barrel.

Can we just buy it? You could buy a barrel of oil. Where do you buy a barrel of oil? And I don't want the stock. I want them to Amazon Prime me a barrel of fucking oil. I want to have barrels of oil in my backyard. You know how people are buying guns and shit right now? Yeah. Let's buy barrels.

If it really goes Mad Max, that's the commodity. Dude, we need to buy barrels of oil at $10. $10 for a barrel. It's usually $3 for a gallon. A gallon. A garand? A garand. Dude, I think I got corona.

I think I got that Chinese virus. What if the Chinese virus just took your R's and turned them into L's? Yeah, we should be able to buy these fucking barrels. Wholesale. Costco. Who's selling barrels? They're moving around the world in these container ships, right? Apparently, I was doing a little research into the whole oil trade.

There will be these containers of oil, right? These giant container ships, right? And they're just floating around. And then the oil will get traded. And that ship that's on its way to like Argentina will just turn around and go somewhere else. It's just this constant movement of the oil, right? Why can't I get a couple barrels off of one of those ships?

Here are the questions I have. Okay, let's get into the fucking questions. You know, everybody's like, we can't get rid of the Amazon because that's the source of our oxygen. That's the earth's lungs, right? You've heard this saying? Everybody at home, Mark, you heard this saying?

Yep. Okay. You tell me we can't make oxygen? We can't make more oxygen? I'm being dead serious. All the shit we can make, you're saying we can't make more oxygen. Yeah, I don't know. Can we make water?

We gotta. I'm saying you can't get into a lab, right? And then take, what is it? H2O. Get some H. Get some O. Water. Oxygen.

Do it up, baby. I just can't believe that we cannot make oxygen. Do it up, baby. I just can't believe that we cannot make oxygen. Maybe it's a stupid question. Somebody can clarify for me. But I think the world would be fine if we got rid of every single tree. It wouldn't look as nice, obviously. And there'd be a lot of animals that wouldn't have anywhere to go. But I'm not worried about not breathing.

I feel like we could get oxygen down in a heartbeat. I mean, if they have a way to get us to mars right and live on mars they've probably figured out how to have enough oxygen to live lives on mars right so you figure out how to do it here so that's my number one question number two question you know these oxygen tanks right when you go scuba diving and maybe someone at home is scuba diving explain you can explain this. They have to fill that tank, right? This is going to sound so stupid, I don't care. Right? Okay.

This is going to sound really dumb. I don't give a fuck. Okay, here we go. Ready? Wouldn't it be full of oxygen if you just did like... Like that! Like, do you know what I'm saying? Like look, look, look, look, look, ready, ready?

Here's oxygen, ready, look, I'm breathing it. I just breathed the oxygen. There was oxygen right here. I breathed it in and you know what? Some more oxygen filled this place, right? So technically, if I just went like Real quick I should be able to capture oxygen in here right yes or no Yes, okay, so why the fuck do they need to fill those things you always hear them talking about like oh?

There was never any oxygen in the tank to begin with How? begin with how how there's always oxygen vacuum you can't have nothing it would just crush it would crush if there was nothing it has to be oxygen like come on you don't think like like put it put it this way i know you think i'm crazy okay if you had a balloon right and you attach that balloon on some strings to the back of a sports car and drove it really fast, that balloon would expand. It would blow up, essentially, because you'd be going the speed of... I mean, do you want to know the answer? I want to talk through it and then get to the answer, okay?

But you go to the speed of... Okay? Yeah. I'm at this speed. Blows up. Tied. Now, I understand I'm breathing out carbon monoxide. That's fine.

Yeah. Okay. Hypothetically speaking, if you're going that speed, I'm not breathing out. I pinch that. That should be full of oxygen. Yeah. Okay. So, that being said,

if I took an oxygen tank fast enough and went like that with it... You'd have to go really fast. Can you go faster? You couldn't even see that, dude. It was so fucking fast, you couldn't even see it. Yeah.

Did you even switch cams, bro? Wide. So that's all I'm saying. I think there should be a certain amount of oxygen just in it at regular sitting. Yeah. Yes or no? Yes. So then what's the deal?

What are we missing here? It's compressed oxygen, so you can breathe it a lot. So you're putting even more oxygen in a space than would normally be. Yeah. So when I take a breath, I'm taking some oxygen from over there. That's zero PSI. Zero pressure.

Probably, yeah. And then, so it's put all this oxygen into this one little thing. To where it's like 50 pounds per square inch. Question, does it regulate the amount that can come out when I breathe? I mean, it just goes... does it regulate the amount that can come out when i breathe i mean it just goes it must regulate the amount i mean yeah there is a regulator because and if that breaks it's just gonna go and i'm gonna get the big cheeks yeah there's a fail safe though which is well if it breaks it'll just come out but then you can breathe with just the air coming out but then you got to go up but i feel like it would come too fast it would

just blow your fucking head off no i mean you just gotta go i don't know i don't buy it i've also never gone scuba diving but i i think i've just figured out how to fix the rainforest and by fix i mean get rid of it and how to make sure you never die when you're in a scuba uh diving situation um another cool thing to do when you scuba dive is they fill it with uh i forget what it's called hydro so they fill it with oxygen but it's like a super condensed oxygen and i think even like hydrogen and that it actually like almost blood dopes you so you can go really deep for a really long time with the same size tank interesting yeah now is it part does it have that thing where you like can't go up quick well i mean like pace

yourself on the way up that's just if you go to a certain depth so below a certain depth you have to start pacing yourself on the way up yeah so for anybody who's listening back home you can't just go down 200 feet and then just swim straight up. Your lungs will explode when you get up, I guess. Something happens like that? Yeah, if you're scuba diving. Right, because you're breathing in oxygen at that low a density or high a density? Yeah, that depth. At that depth.

And that depth has? That density. That density, right? So if you fill up a balloon at the bottom of the ocean and then take it to the top. It explodes. The pressure that it took to fill up the balloon at the bottom of the ocean is not the pressure it would take to fill it up on land so it would just explode exactly and that's what happens with your lungs right so what some people do is like that was the same sound we were wondering

about before so anyway keep going that's fine go on so they say like if you're down below you swim up and you breathe out as you swim up. You can kind of mediate. You still get the bends, but your lungs won't explode. Depending on how low you go, though. Right. My understanding is if there's a certain depth that you go, it's too low and everything will get fucked up. You basically die. But you get the bends and you got to go in a pressurized chamber.

Okay, fair enough. Now, that being said, that's what makes me the most claustrophobic. You wouldn't scuba dive? No, no, I'd scuba dive. I'm fine with that. I would not want to go to a depth where I couldn't go up straight if I needed to. You understand what I'm saying? Yeah. Like if I had to be there for an hour or half an hour to acclimate, because I'm pretty sure

I was reading this thing it said like every 50 feet or every you know 100 feet or whatever it was for five to ten minutes even longer yeah they were saying 30 oh that's crazy and i think the further down you go the longer you need to stop in between as you come up but the fact that you'd have to be there for an hour oh that'd be crippling dude And what would you do for an hour? There's no podcasts, right? There's no shows. There's nothing.

You're just looking at the same stupid fish. It's probably dark, right? Sharks can come out of nowhere, just bump into you. Fuck, why would anybody go underwater? What are you doing down there in the first place? I don't understand it. I don't understand. I understand snorkeling is stupid.

I understand scuba diving but like 20 feet or something there's like a shipwreck but these people going to the bottom of the ocean for what for what you're not gonna find any friends down there it's not gonna happen okay i promise you what is the we're not gonna find anything down there we're not supposed to be down there you just have to let it be i actually think i think going to the moon is stupid too don't get me wrong but like i don't think there's anything dumber than going to the bottom of the ocean i think that could be the stupidest thing that has ever been done by mankind why what could ever happen what do we get even the technology that we use to get to the bottom, it doesn't really help us.

Technology we use to get to the moon, we get fucking duct tape. That's where duct tape comes from. Remember when we went to the Aerospace Museum, Mark? The whole first thing was duct tape. What was the name of it? The Explorer? Yeah. Challenger?

One of them. Whole thing was duct tape. Okay? There Explorer? Yeah. Challenger? One of them. Whole thing was duct tape. Okay? There's certain things we get for it. We get nothing from these underwater explorations. A wetsuit? Stop being a pussy. Go in the fucking water.

All right. We're at 30 minutes. We gotta, we gotta wrap this up. Maybe we do a little tiny bit longer and then snip something. Keep it at 30. Let's think here. What else we got?

Chinese people dying left and right. They're lying about it. That's one thing. Oh, no. I got something positive to leave you guys on. There's a Twitter thread that's out here. And I'm sure all of you guys have seen The Tiger King by now, but there's a Twitter thread that's out here about

what happened after the shooting of The Tiger King. Essentially, where are they now, all these characters from The Tiger King, and expose some interesting facts about them. I can get it up, Mark, if you don't have it. I can get it up. Got it. You got it? Mm-'t have it. I can get it up. Got it. You got it?

Mm-hmm. Okay. Let me see these. All right. Number one. Here are Tiger King facts. Some of you do not know, or what are they doing now, et cetera. Number one.

Remember those beautiful country songs that Joe Exotic was singing? Didn't write a single one of them, okay? It was an outfit called the Clinton Johnson Band. Joe just sang softly over the top of the vocal track, so he didn't even sing it, which makes perfect sense because I didn't think he had a singing voice that was going to be that good. I mean, his singing voice was really fucking good. That was the most impressive.

The songs are amazing. The songs are great. I thought the most underplayed part of that entire documentary was how good a fucking country singer this guy was and how nobody even spoke about it. He was truly a really fucking good country singer. You should check out the songs.

Gay guys make the best music. Gay guys do make the best music. Showsu Tchaikovsky He's really cowboy Elton John He is dude Or is he cowboy queen Freddie Mercury

Freddie Merckx Because Freddie Merckx I don't think was as femme As Elton John I mean this guy's femme though He's femme, though. He's femme, but he's also super masculine. Gun-toting, fucking straight guys. You know what I mean?

What's straighter than fucking straight guys? Yeah, dude. That's the straightest gay. What do you think about it? Dude, banging pros. Never fucked a gay asshole. Not once. Maybe he liked them tight.

So, number two. When Joe's cat died, a lot of them got sold to this strange bone museum in oklahoma city i don't know why that guy wrote that not very interesting number three where's number three oh guys i'm i'm horribly unprepared for this. Did they take this down? You think they got it censored? Hmm. Carol got a hold of it? Maybe. So there was a picture of Joe's boyfriend.

Oh, here you go. Number three. Go back up. You got it. I don't know why mine doesn't show it. No, I don't see how it is. Oh, number three was taken down. Okay.

So number four, number three was one of his boyfriends has teeth now. Oh, yeah. I saw that. Yeah. So remember the first guy who got the tattoo above his dick that said, like, property of Joe Exotic? His first straight boyfriend that we saw on the show. Now full set of teeth. He's working as, like, a plumber or carpenter or something like that, electrician.

Now, this wasn't said in the show, but before Joe married John or Travis, he married another young straight guy named J.C. Hartpence. Hartpence later served time in prison for molesting a young girl and is now serving life in prison for first-degree murder. So he knows how to pick them. At least one point when this guy who's Robert Moore is the guy who's Twitter thread, you can check them out. At least point when I, at one point I was investigating the fire at the zoo, I interviewed the case officer at the Winniewood police department, Brian Gordon over the phone. The next day I got a call from Joe furious saying he's gotten a call from Brian that I was asking about him. I said, Joe, why is the case officer on the case

which you were a suspect in calling you to tell you a reporter is asking questions about you? Joe said, well, he's also my limo driver. Anyway, that guy, that case officer, got arrested for sexually assaulting an intellectually disabled girl. So that's what's going on over there. Keep going down.

Let's see right here. Oh, this is kind of a cool story. And they don't talk about this on the documentary at all. I'm super surprised. But you know the chick that got her arm bitten off by the tiger? She's a trance. And she likes to be referred to as he. And they didn't make that a big deal at all

during the documentary. I thought that was really interesting because they had so many prominent gay characters and you'd think that they would lean into the political correctness and trans rights and that kind of stuff. How pissed do you think she was that that's the body part she lost?

Yeah. Or maybe she got what she'd always wanted. I mean, if you look at that nub, you know what I mean? Like, finally she got something she could fuck girls with, you know? She does look like a T-1000. Dude, we need a meme of her chasing Arnold. That Walmart manager, this is another thing they don't talk about you know the guy who ran his political campaign

the kind of one sane character in the whole thing he ran Joe Exotic's political campaign gay never talked about it I kind of love that they don't define the characters by their homosexuality it's pretty cool they could have easily made a big

deal about that don't show that picture. That's crazy. But, um, I keep going. Let me see. Oh, so two odd facts about Rick Kirkman. Rick Kirkman was the guy with the great voice that looked like a detective. He was always like smoking cigarettes and he was trying to do the reality show on Joe exotic said before meeting Joe, he made a film about his addiction to crack cocaine, which was a little surprising. I didn't see him as a crackhead. After the zoo fire, Rick moved to Dallas. Then his house mysteriously burned down, almost killing him. Then he fled to Norway, where he now lives. So random. Okay. Interesting fact 13, Hollywood, you're so fucking fast. You know, they're already making a TV show about this,

and it's going to star, what's the girl from SNL? Kate McKinnon as Carol. How are you already making this into a fucking show? Good for you. Good for you, Hollywood. Good for you. All right, that's our final fact. Guys, thank you so much for tuning in to another episode of these

corona chronicles i hope you guys are managing this quarantine brilliantly i hope you're using all the corona hacks we've bestowed upon you i hope that um you and your significant others others have been like fighting and also figuring it out i really think if you can get through a time like this then any other time is going to be absolutely easy. Because if you guys can quarantine for a month together in the same apartment, imagine how easy life is going to be when you're working separately 10 hours a day, five days a week. You're going to love that time you get to spend with each other. So embrace this. If you can get past this, you can get past this you can get past anything i sincerely believe that i might be saying this to convince myself but that's a whole different episode that we can

discuss um we'll see you probably on some corona's got talent probably on some flagrant too either way peace love and you're