Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh - Andrew Schulz BOUGHT His Independence

Episode Date: July 5, 2022

What up people! The boys are BACK from vacation and ready to get Flagrant. Buckle up and INDULGE! 00:00 - Start 05:20 - Schulz Reacts to Roe v Wade overturned 24:56 - Vacation catch-up 46:55 - WeezyWTF beat up Alexx 51:33 - Andrew’s Italy tales 01:14:27 - The Vatican is MID and Michelangelo is lit 01:32:10 - best defense for fighting 01:42:30 The best diss ever 01:52:48 Dov enters the building + got the thick neck 01:59:25 Infamous - Andrew’s new special

There's no people, no money, and it's censorship. Can't do it. There has to be another way. I don't know if this is the way. I hope this is the way. And again, this is a gamble. But if it works and comics find out that they can make more money doing this than doing traditional network specials, there'll never be a note again on comedy.

What's up, everybody? Welcome to Flagrant. It's the boys here. Schultzy, Akash, Marky Gags, Alex Media. Dang. You know, we got Miles Marky Gags, Alex Media. Dang. You know we got Miles Media. We got Valaldins. Dove is doing something.

I don't give a fuck. Okay, we don't care. Tell Dove nobody cares about his family, close friends, or not. Okay? I'm tired of him posting all these little cute-ass

pictures of his family. Okay? Some of us don't have adorable little cousins that we could post. Oh, shit. 50s up there. Guys, Mark told us all to dress in

outfits that reflected our vacation. Yeah. Okay? I forgot. I forgot that, because it's Independence Day. We're working on July 4th like the fucking Americans did to get independence. Oh, factual. You know what I'm saying? So I came dressed like this.

Akash came dressed like how he always dresses. Plus a flower. Plus a flower, which makes it a little bit Hawaiian. Al came pretty much dressed how you always dress.

I don't know where you went on vacation. Where'd you go on vacation? L.A., clearly. Nah, bro. It's not clear. It's not clear. Son, I look like Vala

on every other day. Yeah, but Vala had been in years. The nail polish is the weird thing about it and I I guess, like, the full necklace. Nails, fucking chokers, like, come on. The chokers is wild, bro. I didn't realize how thick your neck is, dude.

You got a fucking retard neck, bro. That shit is unbelievable. Get out of here. You don't have that much separation right now. Stop, stop, stop. It ain't that much. Stop it, son. Your neck is crazy, bro.

Look how tight that thing's on. You're about to be Joey Avery in this bitch right now. So get out of here. Who are you? You, man. There's no way. I on. You're about to be Joey Avery in this bitch right now. So get out of here. Who are you? You, man. There's no way. I got a slender neck. Duh.

Your neck? Son. Compared to yours? Look at them chokers right there, bro. Let's measure necks. If you take a deep swallow, them fucking necklaces are break. I can't even say it. There we go.

Let Andrew try this necklace on. You were like Nelly, yo. That shit is wild. Watch out, because this is my my girl shit, so don't break Okay, whatever doesn't matter mark is dressed like Hermione Why mark just like Hermione thinking he's Scottish We're fucking suit top yes, they do blazers. Yes, they do. Blazers? Yes. That's how we dress.

Nah, bro. You Hermione, bro. You Hermione? Dude, look at him. Son. Yo. This is your idea, dude. Come on.

This is your idea. This is the best you can fucking do, bro. Hermione, you're so smart. Like, solve the riddle. You know what I mean? Yo, why is it so loose? Look how much room we got. Son, you might be part down syndrome. Son, you holding it all the waydle. You know what I mean? Look how much room we got. Son, you might be part down syndrome. Son, you holding it all the way up.

You're part down syndrome, bro. Look at this. I can't even breathe right now. Nah, it's baggy. It goes all the way down. Your shit don't even go down. I know, son. Our days are over with black people wearing fucking chains around their neck.

This is Pearl Necklace, dog. around their neck. This is not a chain. This is a pearl necklace, dog. Hey, swag. I have not for it. It's Independence Day, bro. Black people can celebrate this, too. Why not? Yeah, why you putting on chains on Independence Day, dog? What's that about?

What's that about? What you mean? That's how Africans celebrate. We wear gold around our necklaces because we were kings. Oh, take that. What do you got to say? Kings don't wear them cheap-ass chains. I'll tell you that shit right now.

With a flower clip on your head. I celebrate my people. We're stingy. You can't even have a real flower, bro. Why would we do such a thing? Why would you spend the money on something that's not a dinosaur? I don't know how to dress, bro. I don't know how to dress in women's shit like you.

Your green ass nails. Professionally done. What are you doing with the necklace? I don't know. I'm swag, bro. I'm like, this is how you got to rock the pearls on your hand like that. Is this real? Yeah.

You got your girl a real pearl necklace? No, it was her grandmother's. You didn't get her no goddamn pearl necklace shit. It was her grandmother's shit. Some sentimental shit, bro. Why you wearing it around your thick-ass neck then? Yeah. Son, bro, I got thick neck.

You wearing it as a prop, bro. And thick. I'm thick, all right? I'm thick. I'm trying to say it like a Spaniard. Stop it. I'm trying to say it like a Spaniard. Stop it.

Stop it right now. Guys, my new special, Infamous, is available for pre-order right now. We're going to talk about it more at the end of the episode. But go pre-order at TheAndrewSchultz.com. We bought the special back because we didn't want to cut any fucking jokes. We didn't want the material to be sacrificed for some boardroom fucking suit that knows nothing about comedy. So I would appreciate your fucking support. Go get it right now, dandrusholz.com.

We'll talk about it more later. But thank you so much for all of you who have already supported me. The Army provides. Asshole Army for life. Thank you so much. Let's change the fucking game again. All right, let's get back to the show.

Guys, listen, we got tons of things to talk about. Yeah, we missed a lot of stuff on vacation. Listen, listen, listen, listen. It's good just the boys, yo. I know everybody thinking right now that we're going to talk about. Yeah, we missed a lot of stuff on vacation. Listen, listen, listen. It's good just the boys. Just listen. I know everybody thinking right now that we're going to talk about this special, but we're not just yet. Because we have serious

political conversations to have. Okay? Because I think the four of us and you guys, but less, can solve Roe versus Wade. Well, you already solved it. What did I say? Travesty. What's a travesty?

What's a travesty? I'm a serial killer now. If they reverse it, can they go back? I'm stitching my alimony. Yo, you getting locked up, my friend. Yo, you getting locked up. When they reverse it, they're going to go back. It's on the women.

It ain't on me. That's a good-ass point. It's on the women. It ain't on me. That's a good ass point. That's a good joke. I wonder if somebody said that before. I wonder if somebody said that in a comedy special coming out very soon. Okay? Probably in a couple weeks. Yeah, that was a good promo. I love that, Al. Keep it going.

That was a great joke. Are you familiar with that? From directing a comedy special, perhaps? Y'all pointed at me, bro. I had to go to the doctor. Al Sadecci, he just thought of the greatest comeback in abortion history. You know the greatest comeback in abortion history? It must have been cold for Eddie. Can you not abort anything in your life?

Damn! Can you leave something in? Leave it in! Leave it in is the problem, bro. That was good patience. Because you came in, and then we walked all over it, but then you just did it. But then he waited.

You did that shit. Al, you be coming in. Al! Al, Al, Al. We back, okay? We back. This is from a little over a month ago. We did an episode of Slaver.

Can I just say something? We out here with this episode. Real talk. You're making me nervous These are real yes, it's not real You taste it I tasted a pearl necklace About your wife's grandmother like You just put that in your mouth. He don't know how we use them.

He don't know how we use them. Al's a freaky motherfucker. This is living your ass, Al. Hey, you never know. She puts anal beads. What's the small one? How does my shit taste, nigga? Please, bro.

It's Independence Day, Al. Happy Fourth of July. That was reparations right there. Yeah, it was. That was what you just did to me was reparations. Okay. I just repaired you. That's what reparations is.

We got to repair black people. Repair is not in the word reparations. You have to repair them. I keep going with this. We repair them economically with reparations, bro. So using the base word of reparations is repair? Yeah. I dropped off my fucking motorcycle the other day, and I asked him to reparate that shit.

The one that got stolen? What are you talking about? I don't got that shit no more. Damn, my fake jokes can't work anymore. You guys know too much about my real life. How'd you get your bike stolen, by the way? Say again? How'd you get your bicycle stolen? The same way? Say again? How'd you get your bicycle stolen?

The same way other people get it stolen. How? Are you really going to break that up? What? I think they already know. Didn't we talk about it? Yeah, but I mean, like, coming from the guy who lost two fucking bikes? Oh, yeah.

I didn't lose it. Son of a bitch. I didn't lose it. Son of a bitch. I was robbed. Yeah. Why don't you tell us about how happy you are about Roe v. Wade being turned down? I'm good, bro.

I'm good now. This is from a little over a month ago, okay? We did an episode of Flagrant 2, and this is what happened. They're trying to abort the abortion bill. Oh, shit. Yeah. Not going anywhere. Why is that?

It's just not going anywhere. Why is that? Because it's not, bro. It's a part of the foundation of our society. Ever since 1973, you could get these scoops, man, and they're not going to get rid of the scoops. There's too many jobs on the line.

Do you know what I mean? All them little baby caskets and shit. Damn. So, that's... Al, don't you dare be offended by a joke. You've done the work. Pay for a casket after that?

Damage is done. Here you go. There you go right there. Do you stand by your statement? Yeah, it's not going anywhere. Abortion's not going anywhere. I don't know why people trip about abortion. Abortion's not going anywhere.

So where's it going anywhere I don't know why people trip about abortion abortion's not going anywhere so where's it going how's that say again how's that say again the dude let me buy a second real quick

can I buy one second can I buy one second it is impressive that's all you need that's it you repeat your shit you didn't communicate it well enough

yeah and that would give me more time to think if you want to fuck up your communication no in all seriousness if the dude

flew you out to get pregnant you don't think he'll fly you out to fuck up your communication, no. In all seriousness, if the dude flew you out to get pregnant, you don't think he'll fly you out to liquidate? Yeah, but the state might prosecute you for that if you leave the state. Nah, they can't do that. How can they not? States' rights. Oh, hell yeah. America, bro. States' rights.

This guy loves America. America, bro. I'm from the north. Union. Union. Where we be scooping out the fetus. Hey. You know my favorite part of the fetus?

What's that? The feet. Hey. Okay. I want to talk about the feet thing, but we can talk about that later. Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? It's Scotland, bro. Scottish people are mad weird. Whoa, whoa, whoa. Oh, yeah. We should talk about vacation. We can talk about that later. Let's keep going on Roe vs. Wade. I was right. Roe vs? It's Scotland, bro. Scottish people are mad weird. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Oh, yeah, we should talk about vacation. Okay.

We can talk about that later. Let's keep going on Roe versus Wade. I was right. Roe v. Wade's not going anywhere. But it is already federally abolished. It's already gone. It's gone. But do you know who Roe was?

No. Do you know this story? No. Tell me the story. Tell me the tale. Tell me the tale of Roe v. Wade. Oh, my God. Okay.

Listen. Inform us. Everybody, you know. Comfort us the way you comforted us here. This is why Roe v. Wade would not go anywhere. What year was it? Okay, the year was 1983. 73?

73. And also happened in 73. I learned that from you 30 seconds ago. Oh, I said it in there? Okay, I had no clue. Someone must have brought that up before. But, uh, but. What?

The girl wanted to get an abortion. Oh, okay. I didn't see that coming. Yeah. That was Wade. Yeah an abortion. Oh, okay. I didn't see that coming. Yeah. That was Wade. Yeah. That was pretty, I'm sure that was Roe, I think. No, no, no.

Don't let him get in your head, bro. Keep going. That was Wade. Wade wanted to get the abortion, right? And Wade and Roe was like, chill. And they fucking played one on one and it was fested three and then

whoever wins got to decide. Oh wow. And the girl actually won. And so what did she decide? She got that fucking thing strangled out of her. What? What? I didn't realize that was the full story. Is that true or did you just make that up?

I might have made that up. Now that Rovers' weight is completely overturned and it seems like your original statements were not true, we had this conversation. But it's not overturned. It's not overturned. Oh, what is it? It's chilling. It's not overturned.

Is it overturned? Can you get an abortion? There was just lined up to get abortions. Okay, that's what I'm saying. It was terrible, though. That shit was overturned. But the Fed means nothing, bro. Oh, hell yeah, bro.

State's right. Weed is illegal. Didn't I say that in this shit? No, free speech. Free speech also. Yeah. Do you know what I mean? Second Amendment.

Second Amendment. Second Amendment. Shoot it out. Yes. But it's different if a state is saying something is legal versus something is illegal, right? You understand how that is? No, those are the same thing, actually. How does that make all this sense, nerd?

You know what I mean? Just go in there and get your abortion. That's it. Yeah. How? Go in. Go in where? You actually might be able to help some women.

If you're in a state where abortion is illegal, how would you advise a woman to get an abortion from her doctor? What would you do? One, I would do a Kickstarter. I'll be the doctor. You can be a woman. I would do a Kickstarter. I'll be the doctor. You can be a woman. I'd do a Kickstarter. What is that? Is that a website? You just have your friend kicking right in your face.

That's how abortions are going to be done from now on with Kickstarters. 100%. I feel like you could just persuade your doctor to get an abortion if you want to. You could just finesse them. But the doctor doesn't have an abortion kit. You just proved it's not that difficult. No, you need an abortion kit, at least. You said kick or kit?

Kit. They sell, it's like a bone density scanner. It's like a little smith thing. You have a machine. No, there's a machine that can give the abortion. Why don't we do the traveling? Say it again. Like a blood donation.

What do you mean by that? Like a traveling abortion kit. Abortion doctor? Yeah. They have that. Oh, they do? A traveling abortion doctor? Yeah.

Yeah, 100%. Okay. I didn't know that they had that. I thought I just invented that. I mean, they don't necessarily travel to do the abortions, but they, I'm sure, take vacations like we all did.

Yeah, no, that's not what I mean by traveling. I don't mean like they... I mean..., take vacations like we all did. Yeah, no, that's what I mean by traveling. I don't mean like... No, I mean like a blood donation bus. I'm like, what the fuck is he talking about? Isn't that crazy? The abortion doctor's just traveling, and here he comes. Portugal.

Spread them. But he can have like a bus and go around and give life-saving procedures. Nah, that's a little bit crazy, dude. Why? That's too far. Why? Well, because you don't know if it's legal in that state. Where are you going with this? I don't know, bro. What I'm trying to do

is talk to you guys about a very serious issue that's affecting women's rights. Yes. Free speech. I'm about free speech. Yeah. So what do you guys think? How would you solve it? I don't know. That's what we're trying to figure out, right?

Well, my original proposition I still think holds up. Which is? It's illegal everywhere except New York City. Okay. Good for economy. Oh, so you go for like a little abortion vacation. It's like gambling in Vegas, bro. That's what it is.

Travel, take a vacation. I think it's kind of foolproof. Yeah, but what about the women who can't afford to travel to New York? What about women who can't afford to travel to Vegas and gamble, bro? It's not everyone's right.

Well, they can go to Atlantic City. They can go to Atlantic City. Yeah, yeah. They can go to Connecticut or to Louisiana. Or Yonkers. Any place you can gamble, you can get an abortion.

Or any Indian territory. Yes, Indians can abort Yeah That's the rule We got a lot of people Not y'all Not y'all I mean native Indians

They need population actually They should not be allowed to abort They just You guys can get your numbers up They can do it though I think that's the rule Oh Native Americans Yes

That's reparations Need more people That's a good point They shouldn't But they should be able to abort Some white people That's reparations Yes exactly They kill some white babies You know what I. That's a good point. They should be able to abort some white people. That's reparations. They kill some white babies.

That's actually a little payback. So that's my solution. That could work. I'm trying to wrap my head around this. I don't like it. Why not? I think women should be allowed to murder their babies.

I agree. This thing is crazy. My God. What? What? Isn't that the argument? Isn't that really what people are trying to avoid? Isn't that the discussion?

But yeah, it is a baby. I do think life begins at conception. It's so dope being a guy. This is true. Truly. Because every dude, because even every dude is basically like,

yeah, women, y'all should be able to kill that shit. But we don't have to bear the consequences of it at all. So it's easy for us to be like, you deserve the rights, but we do nothing.

That's a good joke. It's great. It's a great joke. Also available. It's a good joke right there. 7-17-2022. Infamous. TheanderSchultz.com.

You can buy it. Just put it up on YouTube. You know, this is what we do. It's what good joke right there. 2017, 2022. Infamous. TheAndersonTolls.com. You can buy it. Just put it up on YouTube. You know, this is what we do. It's what you can do when you own your special, when you buy it back. Do you know what I'm saying? Free speech. Free speech. Free speech.

But yeah, it's just great being like a guy. It really is. I understand why women want to be guys now. Yeah. Yeah. I get that. The other way around is a little weird. Right? Well, you probably don't have to worry about the abortion thing. Yeah. Yeah. I get that. The other way around is a little weird. Right?

Well, you probably don't have to worry about the abortion thing. Yeah. That's it. Best of both worlds a little bit. That's it. Yeah. Whoa. Whoa.

Yeah. I mean, take it from me. It's pretty good. Oh, are you a girl now? I'm transitioning slowly. Are you making fun of my culture? This is my culture, too. Are you making a mockery of my culture?

No, my culture. Our culture? You're like 2% Scottish. 14%. I did a 23 and me. 23 and me? You did a 23 and me? Did you throw yourself a pudding can? It's rabbit hunting season. That's Gaelic. Okay, that's how you pronounce it. In my culture, I'm Scottish. Say what? I'm Scottish. 14. 14%?

And then what? Majority French or whatever. I don't trust that 23 and me shit at all. Me neither, dude. 14%? And then what, majority French or whatever? I don't trust that 23andMe shit at all. Me neither, dude. They just be throwing shit around. No, it's accurate. Why? None of it is real, though. Why do you not trust it?

Because if you took it, you'd be like 13% fucking Canadian or something. They just be throwing out percentages. Not all of us get the privilege of knowing where we're from, Akash. Some people like us had our cultures ripped from us, and now we have to figure it out. But what's it mean to be French? Yeah. Gay. For real. How do they know that you're from that region?

What's specific to that region? What kind of white you are? It's my culture, so I can get in touch with my French friends. Your DNA is not your culture. It is, though. Now it is. Also, hold on one second. You hit the dump.

This is 23. Also, no, no, that's Bob. Also, 23andMe, what does it really prove? How does it prove that you're French? I don't even understand what that means. Just the genes of people from that region. What do you mean? How do they trace all that back?

Why does it stop? No, hold on, hold on, hold on. Hold on, hold on. Take it, take it, take it. Does it stop at 400 years ago? Like, how do they know when to stop it? Because if you keep on going back before that. 100% Mesopotamian, bro.

Let's go. Exactly. I thought that all humans are from Africa. Then our 23andMe should be in Africa. How do they get the technology to stop conveniently where white people are born? Right? I'm just saying. This specific 23andMe technology

stops 300 years ago. It just stops. It shouldn't even hustle, yo. You, dumbass. And they say whatever white shit you want. Stupid. Here's a twist to the story. It wasn't me that did it. Who did it? My sister. She 23and me'd herself.

Yeah. So that doesn't, you don't know if your mom was catching cats. You don't know, dude. You don't know. It's ganda. You're trying to close?

You're trying to catch it? I'm just saying, bro. It's 50%. It's 50%. I'm telling you, it's 50%. I'll point that thing at you. There ain't nothing

you can do about it. Second amendment. I'll point that thing. Exactly. Click, click, boom. 23 about it. Second amendment, second amendment. I'll point that thing. Exactly. Click, click, boom. 23 and she. That's what you got. There ain't no fucking accuracy there.

Yeah. That's what I did. 14% Scottish. That's nonsense, bro. That punt. Boom. Sign out. We had to even call that out, bro.

That shit. How you do that? That shit went wrong. That's what I think. It's a shootout. Hold up, hold up, hold up. Here's the punt. happy with it. I was so happy with it. I didn't do that shit. I was so happy with it. He said, hold up, hold up, hold up. Here's the pun. I love it.

I was so happy with it. Big punisher in the building right here. I was so happy with it. Dead in the middle of Little Italy, my boy. But anyway, Rovers wins overtime officially, right? Because we are in Little Italy, and he was dead in that joke. I'm just saying. There's a lot of things that lined up

for that big pun line to just crack like that. It's mad funny when you gotta explain it. Mad funny. The new special's coming out 7-17. Save all that abortion money. Use it on my website. Have a kid and a special. Boom.

Facts. This is what we said. If Roe vs. Wade was going to be special. Boom. Facts. Facts. Okay, go. This is what we said. If Roe versus Wade was going to be overturned, this is what you agreed to. Hey, watch, watch, watch. Is people talking? What happens if it gets overturned? What are you willing to do?

I will do a... Do you have any memory of this? No. Like a video where it's I'm on one side and then the kid living a lifestyle. He's on the other side and I'll do

the duet with him. I'll do a duet. Dammit, that ain't it. I'll do that with him. It's that time. I'm ready to load to your word, Solzhen. Alright, let's go. You gotta look right into this, Ken. But I it's that time. Oh, God. I read a little to your word, Schultz. All right, let's go. You got to look right into this can. Okay, but I need to time it with him.

All right, you want to get one dry run, and then you can go for it for real? Is he also wearing a prone egg? Okay, okay. You want to hit the timing down real quick? No, no, I got it. You want to hit it? I got it. You tell me when.

Give me a little countdown. Start it up, Terrence. Start it up, Terrence. Let's go. You want the timing down real quick? No, no, I got it. You want to hit it? I got it. You tell me when. Give me a little countdown. Start it up, Terran! Start it up, Terran! Let's go! Give me a countdown. Go ahead.

Go. Start it up, Terran. Three, two, one, go. I got it. I got it. I got it. I got it. I got it.

I got it. I got it. I got it. I got it. I got it. I got it. I got it. I got it. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know.

I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. even spill in your seed? What is that? Is that a riddle? Nah. Look at the Bible, bro. That's pretty easy

to figure out what that means. Do you even spill in your seed? I don't know what that means. It's in the Bible. Your boy Luke was saying don't spill your seed, man. Wait, are you saying pull it out or jerk it off?

No, no, no, no. Don't spill your seed at all. Jerking off. Ooh. Pulling out. Say it harder. Say it to me harder. Don't spill your seed, bro.

Yeah, where you gonna put it? Dude. Where you gonna put it? Honestly, I would like you to put it into like a little red sack and then hang it on the back of a broom and then just walk around America. That would be the best way to do it. Yeah, I wouldn't do that. Why do you spill your seed, man? Jerking off.

Spilling sperm. Okay. You can't waste any semen. It is only for inside of a vagina. Okay. Yeah, a vagina. Okay. What about it?

Do I believe in it? Yo, son. I fucking love Indians. Do I believe in it? Say again? Do I believe in it as a construct? What I'm trying to say is, if we're getting rid of shmishmurshin, are we getting rid of spill your seed? Why? Why would we get rid of it? Because we got to keep it even, right? Men and women should be equal. Okay. Keep it religious.

I see. If the reason you don't like abortion is religion, keep it religious. Exactly. So you always got to bust nuts. If these girls are not allowed. Bust guts. Bust guts too. All I'm trying to say is.

You know what I mean? Hit it. He's back. I'm back. That is a good point. Look, I'm just saying it's about equality. Like if these girls are not allowed to make a Jamba Juice out of their baby. That is totally illegal to do that.

What? What? Son. What flavor, though? Just saying. No, no, what flavor? That is a good question. What flavor would it be?

Yeah. Mine would be like kind of peanut butter. What about you? Why would yours be peanut butter? Is that a racial thing with George Washington Carver? Yes. Is that what you would try to do? That's how he invented it, bro.

That's the only way it makes sense. Hold on. That's how he made peanut butter, dude? Yes. Dude. He had a dream. And it was? It was about an abortion thing, yeah. an abortion can you go deeper on that?

you did this to him you did this to him no no no take that back go go go Miles is loving this he's loving Mark's gonna say something racist

yeah who's racist now on the pod? Okay. Yes. But go. Uh-huh. Go on that. Go on George Washington Carver. Go on that.

Go on it. What about that? Go on it, Tim. He invented peanut butter. He did. Do you know why? Yes. Why?

I forgot it. I forgot why. How was you supposed to make your dog suck your dick and balls? Okay. In all seriousness, Akash. Yeah. Can we get off of this topic for one? Please.

Okay. I don't live in life, okay? Finish your fucking bottle. Okay, it's fine. Akash. Yeah. You went on vacation. Yeah.

Beautiful Maui. Loved it. Had a great time. Had a great time. Reflect on your time off off did it make you go I want this to be the majority of my life I gotta bust my ass working right now yes okay yeah 100 because it was that nice yes to chill 100 and just being in a place my wife says I'm like I can't believe God made beauty like this. Don't be too serious about it. She goes, I can't believe God made beauty like this,

and we're in New York City. And my only goal was, let's get the fuck out of New York as soon as possible. That's all I'm thinking about now. One more winter, then we're getting the fuck out of here. To Maui. Wherever we want, yo. Let's live. Maui's fire, though? I haven't been to Maui. Yeah, you have. You've been to Maui County. It is To Maui. Wherever we want, yo. Let's live. Maui's fire, though?

I haven't been to Maui. Yeah, you have. You've been to Maui County. It is in Maui County. But I haven't been to, like, proper Maui. It's amazing. It's the most beautiful place I've ever seen in my life. I've never seen anything like that.

How was Italy? Italy was the shit. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Italy was the shit. Same. You had the same thought? I got to bust my ass. That's why I asked.

And I was like, are we on the same? Same. 100%. Why are we doing this? thought? I gotta bust my ass. That's why I asked. Same! 100%! Why are we doing this? I will say this about Italy. I want to have a longer discussion about Italy. I want to go through everybody's vacation and I'm curious. Yeah, it just made me think about things

very differently. Italy was fascinating. I want to have a longer discussion about it. So I want to know, Mark, how was Scotland? Howotland how was the motherland amazing now are you just saying that or no i actually was beautiful i heard a funny thing from mark's wife so the the wives went to the girls went to dinner i go to pick up my wife and um mark's wife is there i don't know if we say her name but uh and uh she said that She said that Mark's been trying to bulk. He eats 14 meals a day.

It's unbelievable. We pay for most of them. We have a ledger. Basically, he's basically in Scotland. He's like, listen, we're not working out. I'm eating fried fish, fried Mars bars. I'm eating absolute dog shit. Scotland is like the most heart disease in Europe.

Yeah, really? It's the worst possible fucking diet. Food kind of mid though, man. Food mid is a compliment. Thank God. I'm like, I don't think it's mid. It's mid. Yeah, come on.

This is survival. These people are surviving. They didn't even sew the pants together, right? This is like, you know, we're trying to make it. Come on. What? I know. It's all that smells when he does it.

What is it? It just smells, like turpentine or something like that. Foreskin? What is that? A hot tub basketball court. Okay, so she goes, Mark ate like shit the entire time. Yeah. Lost weight.

Calls up Muscle doc and just goes, I quit. I was furious. How is that possible? We just drove around, looked at sheep and ate garbage for two weeks. Sheep pussy fire, be honest. Of animals. If you had to beat down an animal. Yeah, a sheep dog. Spill that

milk. Yeah, for real. I didn't spill any seed with the sheep. Not at all. With the sheep, it was unlocked. You know what they, I didn't spill any seed with the sheeps. Not at all. No, with the sheeps, it was unlocked. You know, they got ass. That's what I'm saying. You don't say mish. No, sheeps actually have ass. You don't go mish? I don't go missionary on the sheep, but from behind, they got the

dumpy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I only go mish. You don't see that walk? Two soup dumplings, ready to get popped. Also, the sheep makes sense, bro. The sheep makes sense. What does that mean, the sheep makes sense, bro. Want me to say it again? The sheep makes sense. What does that mean, the sheep makes sense?

Like banging sheep in Scotland. Why are you saying shit that I agree? It's like salsa dancing is fun. Like you're saying that to a Latino. Like, yeah. You don't got to convince me. I didn't realize. Sheep pussy more fire than regular pussy.

Well, no, no, no. Not regular pussy, but regular. You guys never fuck sheep, Al. I haven't. I haven't. I won't know. Maybe regular Scottish. What am I missing out on?

Tell me. Well, listen. Who's had sex with more pussies? This guy or this guy? I haven't. I haven't. I won't know. Maybe regular Scottish. What am I missing out on? Tell me. Well, listen. Who's had sex with more pussies? This guy or this guy? I'm going to trust this guy. Thank you. Nope. Sheep?

I think I took down more sheep. What? It was hundreds of sheep. But you didn't fuck none. Pussy? I'm with my girl. I didn't want to be weird about it. That's not weird, bro.

It takes two to tango. That is true. That is true. That is true. And if you're hitting it good, they start fucking making noises and shit. Yo, they do. It's fire, dude. That's on Womensound, too, bro. That's what I'm saying. Bro, look at this. Are you kidding me? Are you kidding me?

Let me see the dumper. Yo, crazy cake. That's wild. Top left? Come on, bro. Yeah, yeah, yeah. BBL. That's the biggest ass of Skylin by far. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's wild. Top left? Come on, bro. Yeah, yeah, yeah. BBL. BBL, bro. That's the biggest ass of Skylin by far. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's true, though. Yo, white sheep got the biggest ass right there.

Come on, bro. Stop it. You don't have that out there like that? That's a pog. That's a pog, bro. Yeah. Yeah. I was trying to take a few of these down, but. Bro, it's hard trying to take down too many sheep.

That shit is tricky, bro. Okay. Is that you or a hand? Yes, that's me trying to take down too many sheep. That shit is tricky, bro. Okay. Is that you or Hand? Yes, that's me. That's me. You start counting them, get sleepy, bro. Oh, God. Don't even let him get away with that.

You don't get away with it, bro. You don't got to get away with it. Give me the flowers, bro. Give me my flowers. Come on, man. You start counting all them sheep, you get sleepy. Nursery rhyme, ass.

This is funny. Bro, this is fire. You know he's raised on Disney with that type of shit. There's kids that listen to this program. Okay, that's for y'all. Kids. Go, go, go, go, go.

No, Scottish people are mad weird with feet, though. Oh, talk to me about this. Why? I don't know. I was hoping you could fill me in, but I'm— What do you mean? What happened? I was on a train in Scotland.

I told Miles this already. Okay. I'm in a train in Scotland, and we, like, had just gone—we were going in, and it was me and my wife, and she was wearing sandals. Okay. And we were kind of sitting on, like like opposite sides of the train just because like there was a lot of seats. So we kind of spread out, took a little nap.

And I'm like looking at her, I'm tired. And she's kind of looking at me and like kind of like a concerned look on her face. She's like staring at me, like trying to get my attention. And then we get to the stop and like a bunch of people get off the train. And then she's like, hey, come sit next to me. I was like, okay. So I go sit next to her i was like what's up she was like the guy that was sitting across from me just took his phone out and like videotaped my feet casualties of a dice game hey listen but i was mad at her i was like yo why didn't you tell me because i could have sternly

spoke to him what you gonna do what you gonna do to the guy who videotaped feet bro come on i Listen, but I was better. I was like, why did you tell me? What you gonna do what you gonna do the guy who videotaped feet He was just straight-up video to curl her toes at all, I don't think she did. To me. You got to spread them out. You got to spread them out. You got to spread them out. That's a hand out of it? Oh, that is even more gross. Yeah, yeah. You tell me, what's the best defense? If some guy is checking out a woman's feet, what should she do?

Curl toes. Yeah, curl. Try to grab something maybe? Is that the grossest way to present a foot? No, no, no. I think a spread toe. A spread is gnarly too. Like you're getting electrocuted in a cartoon or something like that.

But I think a curled toe Because then you lose out on the toes And the toes are what you want So you're just removing what you want Right If you got cleavage You pull up your shirt This motherfucker really loves that shit

Yeah This is good information though 100% This is going to help countless women We were hanging out with Hannah Last night She didn't have any toenail polish on Started curling her feet

I said thank you I said thank you I said thank you as I appreciate you doing that covering that shit I want to see flesh I'm not trying to look down and see flesh for what say what bare toenails bare toenails is crazy come on we can't do all that we can't do all that what's up with you guys bro I don't know are you an adult or are you a child? Like, a toddler has flesh-colored toenails. But why are you taking pictures? Why are your people...

That's inappropriate. I locked that in. That's my picture. Click, click. That's classy. That's classy right there. Yeah, I'll never forget. Never forget.

You know what I'm saying? Photographic memory when it comes to feet. This shit is so weird. Why? Why is it weird? shit is so weird. Why? Why is it weird? This is so weird, bro. Well, well, well. What do you got?

Uh-oh. Call her. Call her. Call her. Ask her if she had toenail polish on yesterday. Okay. Hey. Hey.

I'm here. We're on the podcast. I'm with Andrew. I'm with Akash. I'm with Alex. Andrew mentioned something yesterday. He wanted you to confirm. Go.

Go. What's up? Were you wearing toenail polish yesterday? I was not. Son, you're a creep, bro. That's so crazy. He noticed that. You're a creep, bro.

That's so crazy. You can't notice that? I can tell you her outfit yesterday as well. That's so creepy. I can tell you details about her life. Of course I can tell you her outfit. What was the outfit? Blue shorts, white socks.

She had a black penny loafer and then a white button-down shirt over it. Is that true? That is true. Oh, okay. You're a better man than me. No fucking toenail polish, to be honest with you. Yeah, he was offended by the lack of toenail polish. I'm an observant man.

Who's this? This is my friend here. This is my personal friend. Yo, you want to know some. I'm an observant man. Who's this? This is my friend, Hannah. This is my personal friend. Yo, you want to know some wild shit? Hannah, come here. She's on the phone. Hannah. Hannah.

Yo. Remember how Mark used to do those videos in college that he brags about, about how he created these videos and they go viral? He did it all by himself. He invented the internet. He did nothing. Hannah told us the real story. Hannah was like, yo, I walked up to him in the library. I was like, you

got some talent, kid. Let me make you a star. I like the cut of your jib. Right? And she used her carnival tricks. She grew up in a carnival. And she used her carnival tricks to turn Mark into a star. Why did you notice her feet? That's mad weird. You can't not notice feet.

If he noticed everything else, it makes it a little bit less weird. Yeah, it's a pool party. I'm observant. I notice things about people. He didn't know what she was wearing. I know what Al's feet look like. Yeah, beautiful.

Al's got a decent foot, man. I got a nice foot. But it's flat. It is. Very white on the bottom. You know, respect. You got white bottoms. So we fuck with each other. You got white bottoms, bro. We fuck with each other.

Al has white bottoms, bro. Never change. Hey, never change. Let's go. Keep it true, Al. Yo, that's max. Keep it true. Let's go, dude.

Okay. Hispanic, Latina. Back to the show. Al started calling his girl from Spain Latina, and that shit almost made me shoot him with a fucking weapon. That was nothing more infuriating. She feels the same way. That's nothing more infuriating.

Come on, man. Come on, now. Okay, can we be serious? Scotland was dope. I'm glad I spent time with our people, and it was a fun time. Don't do that. Yeah. 14% of your people

ain't even your people yeah why are you doing that white people also how do they make it Scottish specific how do you know it's not Scotland

or Ireland it should just be Britain brother you should just call it Britain right I'm just saying I don't believe in this 23 year old shit

it's nonsense they just want your info that's it and I saw your people I sent you a picture of that the memorial of your clan I know yeah

you were at the battle you were in a clan? Yeah, he was... He was in the OG clan. He was in the OG clan. You started the clans, bro. One of them. You want to clear this up? Cameron!

It's tribal. In Scotland, your last name is... It's not random. It's tribal. We just want to maintain our culture, dude. Family crest. No, no. Everybody in Scotland that like his family

is actually from there has a clan and their last name is tied to that clan and that used to be your people. That used to be your tribe, bro.

Cameron clan. His clan. Yeah. Well, the memorial of the battle. White hoods or? No, skirts. And the color

of the tartan, they call it, each one is different so you have your own pattern what's your tartan what was your clan known for uh stealing sheep stealing and then protecting the queen we're the queen's guards come on that's whack that's yeah fucking sheep i respect not checking this queen not the british queen oh Come on. That's whack. That's whack. Fucking cheap, I respect. The Texas Queen? Not the British Queen. Oh, the Scottish Queen.

Bottom wish we didn't do that. Who's been fucking them cheap, bros? This is what it is, man. What colors? What colors was your shit? They're all the same, bros. They're variations of the same shit. It's like African country flags.

You know, it's just mix and match. Yellow, gold, green, yellow. It's cool when you go back there. I don't know. When I was there, obviously, my mom is from Scotland. This is going to sound corny, whatever, make fun of me, I don't care.

It's easy, I think, when you grow up in New York and you don't have a religious background, you don't have a lot of family. You just kind of feel like you're alone, you're existing alone, which is kind of what I thought. And then I went to Scotland and I visited places that my clan

had been a part of and I was like, oh shit, I'm part of this bigger thing and there are maybe traits that are passed down and we have these certain things you want to live up to it. Must be nice. Say again? Must be nice. No, for real. I didn't realize until then and I imagine I don't know, maybe you feel that way when you find certain things out about yourself. live up to it must be nice say again must be nice no for real like i didn't realize until then and i imagine i don't know maybe you feel that way when you find certain things out about go back to puerto rico and just be like yo these are my people now but i gotta go even further back within puerto rico yeah that's why i want to believe in the 23 is me because i'm

like okay they say i'm from west africa so it's like i want to know you never know who you are fuck you we all need some time that is that's right that's my heart that's it we all need some time we all need some time we all need some time we all need some time keep going

we're animals bro god damn okay any other thoughts about Scotland any other funny stories anything happen interesting

no Scottish people are funny. They're funny, huh? Yeah, and like that pub culture, like drinking out on the fucking... That shit is wild. That shit is awesome. Yeah. Just like singing songs in a pub.

That shit is dope. Anybody bust out the piano? Yeah. Just singing songs in a pub and like everybody knows the songs to the words. Yeah, I mean, we didn't really go to any of those spots, but like we were listening to like Scottish,

like folk music. Yeah. That shit is dope. Yeah. I don't know. Did you see any like Highland games going on? Nah, we drove past it though, but no, we didn't really go to any of those spots, but we were listening to Scottish folk music. That shit is dope. Yeah. I don't know. Did you see any Highland games going on? Nah, we drove past it though, but no, we didn't see it. Yo, Highlanders are kind of fire.

Wild people, the Highland game? They're like, what is that? It's not called hammer throwing. They're all these, I'm really strong games. Yeah. And sometimes you see them in versions of them. What happened to you? Strongest man type shit?

I'm half, I'm half. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm half. Got my daddy's on. Yeah, and sometimes you see them in like versions of them like strongest man But look at all these things yeah, they do this is like throw hammers and shit hammer carry long There's like a long you not that that was a man that was a man dog this is just your average holy shit your average that's so they're so manly that they can wear the skirts that's what i'm saying bro it's like when it's like being so manly you can wear fucking nail polish and shit like yes i'm lucky it's mad man with most guys i would say yes yeah the fact that it's matching underneath that's what's weird right oh my god

I had to do it if I knew that if I knew that is the gayest thing I've ever seen really it really is really

yeah that's all you got huh really confirmation asking for confirmation really cause if so I need another minute say say again

say say again that's a good stall technique really though no son I'm gonna use really something like really though this thing is crazy I need another minute. That's a good stall technique. Really though? No, son. I'm going to use really. Something like really though? This thing is crazy, bro. Really is good, bro.

Fuck. Because it put me on the defense. I was like, I need another. You thought something was coming. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But yeah, look at that. Lift wood. This is who you guys died trying to protect.

This motherfucker. Bonnie. That's a woman? No, that's a prince. This is the gayest shit about Scottish people, I will say. Okay, go. So they all died trying to protect this dude, Prince Charles, but they called him the handsome Prince Charles.

Yep. But they were all inbred back then. That's royalty. And you gotta overcompensate. For an inbred, he probably was handsome. We're not inbred. No, the royal's always inbred. Nigga, you inbred.

Not us. You're inbred. It's crazy. He's a little inbred, I think. I'm inbred? Yes. A little, yeah. Absolutely.

Look at you, bro. You got more features inbred. Not all fucking weird. No, bro. I'm primal. I'm Mesopotamian. Mesopotamian. Primal is inbred, bro.

No, that's not inbred. That's pure. You're bonobo. You're one of them chimpanzees. Everybody's got their own family. That's what it is. You're a chimpanzee, bro. No, I'm primal.

You're a bonobo. No, you're Scottish, bro. You bang your cousin. I don't bang my cousin. How close in your family line do you think of relative fuck? Be completely honest. You got first cousins at fuck.

That's not even a question. Definitely. You have siblings probably. I think my mom told me she fingered her cousin. I do remember more or less hearing the story about it. That counts.

My body lies over the sea. My body lies over the sea. This guy is crazy. What? Come on, bro. He's crazy. Y'all never had your mom tell you a story about fingering the fuck out of her cousin one time? Nope.

For cultural purposes? Never. Which culture? This is Scottish culture, dude. Come on, man. It's a rite of passage, you know what I mean? You gotta For cultural purposes? Never. Which culture? There's a Scottish culture, dude. Come on, man. It's a rite of passage, you know what I mean?

You gotta do it. Real talk. Food was made, everything else was great. Awesome time. But they're fun people. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Women, very funny, too.

Ball busty. Did you guys get a... No? No. Oh, wow. I didn't really notice that. I didn't really talk about any Scottish women, bro.

It was sheep and my girl. Really? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, okay. But what's women throw down, bro? Really? Hell, yeah. No, they're just witty. It's part of the culture. It was sheep and my girl. Really? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, okay. I was swimming throw down, bro. Really? Hell yeah. No, they're just like witty.

Like it's part of the culture. Like it's valued there. So they do it as well. So they're just, you know, funny. Like they were much sharper tongues, the women in my family, than the men on the Scottish side. The men were almost a little bit like subdued because the women were such savages. Oh, really? Like fucking crazy.

He's trying to turn Scotland into Boston. He's like, yeah, the funniest people come from Scotland. I will say, it's a good thing the Scottish women are funny, man. They're a little rude, man. They got a great personality, though. That's why they gotta be funny. Facts, bro. Basically fat girl country.

What do their heads look like? Do they got Alex neck? Like, what is it? Thank you for country. What do their heads look like? Do they got Alex neck? What is it? Thank you for acknowledging it, bro. You made me feel like I was seeing something that's weird. You got a little neck on you. There's not much separation between your shoulders. Your neck is thick and Scottish.

Have you sit like that? Maybe. I have my shoulders up. You're just projecting what you do. Actually, you look very good right there. But I sit like this? No, you sit like a transformer that's about to turn into a car. And now we're good.

Let's go. Shoot. Okay, so women you thought were bustardo or what? No, they were sweet. They were sweet. No, stop it. Keep it real. That's worse than just calling them ugly. That actually makes me think they're the ugliest women on earth. Yeah.

I'm just saying, if he go and talk like that around your people. That's his family, right? That's our family. So, tell us how they look. They were all right, bro.

They were all right. No, we know. And the voice cracked, too. I'll be honest, though. What is the deal with, like, British women in general and makeup? Why they go overboard? Crazy. Crazy overboard.

Why do you think that is, Mark? I don't understand it. But do you have a theory on it? Did they find YouTube yet? No, I don't know. They don't have tutorials or nothing. I don't understand what it is. But you walk through the train station, it'll just be, like, British girl caked up.

And it's just, like, it's a thing. I don't know. Weren't they the first people to do that? Yeah, probably. You look at like British royalty. Yeah, I don't know what it is though. Insecurity? I don't know.

What was the teeth? Oh yeah, the teeth situation is crazy. Really? Yeah, I don't know. What is that about? Get your people. What is that? They don't put fluoride in the waters?

I don't know. I'm big on fluoride. I used to be super anti-fluoride in the water, but then I went over there. You're like, run it up. Double it up. Double fashion it. It's crazy. The recipe needs a little extra.

And the other thing that's tricky about it is there's not as much shame attached to it. Like in America, if you're missing teeth, you're embarrassed. That should be shame. That's the number one thing you should shame. Yeah, 100%. It's the easiest thing to control. You should lean in. You're clearly the biggest person from that Scottish. That's a good

ass point. You are the Scottish celebrity. Help them. I am helping. What do you mean? I am helping. I might do a lot for them. No. What have you done for Scottish people? Talk about them on the pot. I give exposure. That's what I'm saying. You should do some. I give them exposure. You really could I'm saying. You should do some.

I give them exposure. You really could be Mr. Scotland. You're all about America, but you don't ever give it back to Scotland, yo. Look what you're wearing right now. I'm not going to lie, bro. I'm American, yo.

Wow. I'm American, bro. How can you turn your back on our people? All these skirt-wearing dudes are going, fuck you up. My mom's from Scotland, son. My mom's from Scotland.

I got mad love for Scotland, but I'd be capping if I was just going to say I love Scotland, you know, so's from Scotland. I got mad love for Scotland, but I'd be capping if I was just going to say I love Scotland, you know, so people from there loved me even though I knew nothing about it. Disgusting. You know a good amount.

Hey, you know more than me. You know more than I do. I'd be guessing. I don't even know what the prime minister is in Scotland. You're disgusting. You're disgusting. That's what you are.

Which one of you stepped on shit and forgot to flush are. Which one of you stepped on shit and forgot to flush? It was one of you. You didn't tell us anything about Italy. You just said you were happy. Well, I wanted to go

through everybody's vacation first. Al, what was yours? Where did you go? L.A. To live your opposite life in L.A.? Opposite life? Yeah, this opposite life.

Al is like a different human being in L.A. There's New York out and then there's L.A. out. L.A. out. seems way more fun, bro. Al is like a different human being in L.A. There's New York Al and then there's L.A.L. L.A.L. is awesome. The weather's different, bro. I'm telling you, you're happy, right? You wake up in a good-ass mood. Say you're happy.

You can't do it. You changed, bro. I love it. I support change. I would never change what you're talking about, bro. The fuck are you talking about? Never. So you just worked.

Nothing fun? Yeah, pretty much. Nothing interesting Never. So you just worked. Nothing fun? Yeah, pretty much. Nothing interesting happened? Yeah, I was just getting the studio open, hiring people. I don't really care about that. But like, is there anything worth talking about on the podcast that happened? Any funny story? Oh, we never talked about you getting beat up in a domestic violence dispute.

Oh, that's right. Yeah. That's right. What the fuck are we talking about? When Wheezy fucked your lip up. Oh, oh. And now you look like Joaquin Phoenix. She see fucked your lip up. Oh Phoenix

No, I was making fun of her because she was struggling in a gym class that we took together Hmm, and she tossed a water bottle at me and I had my back to her and then I turned right when the water bottle Was coming it bust my lip. I needed three stitches. Yeah, let's have a water bottle, bro. Not just regular I'm going to bust my lip. I needed three stitches. What type of water bottle, bro? No, just regular. One of those little baby water. He's got an arm, bro.

Filled? Filled? It had a little water in it, yeah. Son, that's a deadly weapon. Something's off about this sword. If there wasn't a video, I would think you just got punched in the face. Oh, you have a video of the water bottle being thrown? Yeah. We documented the whole shit.

Because I was making fun of her while it happened. So I'm like, you might as well like film the rest of the shit i don't buy it three stitches that's right here yeah this is like some ray rice shit we're gonna find you passed out in a fucking elevator i'll wait till she get that big check and be like yay remember that big desi energy, still going strong. First of all, thank you so much, San Francisco and Vancouver. We sold out both shows.

Vancouver, biggest show I've ever done. 600-seater, sold that the fuck out. San Francisco, 400 seats. But after we sold it out, the club told us they got 200 calls from people begging them to get in. So thank you, guys. The momentum is going. Let's keep it going. July 14th through 16th, I'm going to be in Minneapolis, Minnesota at Hack Me Comedy Company. July 28th through 30th, San Diego,

California at American Comedy Company. Those tickets are already going fast. And August 5th and 6th, we just added these shows in Atlantic City. Last time I performed there, I gave everybody here COVID. Hopefully we can do that again. Let's make memories, guys. Those dates and all the rest at akashsingh.com. Get your tickets now, and let's get back to the show. All right, guys, we got to take a break for a second because I got to make sure you don't go bald, okay? There is one sign that a man is aging poorly, and that is his hairline.

Simple as that. You keep your hair, people go, God, he's aging so gracefully, and you can't keep your hair with keeps, okay? I've been on over a decade. Your boy's shining right now. Not going to lie. Not even going to be hair with keeps, okay? I've been on over a decade. Your boy's shining right now. Not gonna lie. Not even gonna be humble about it, okay?

Because it's not on me. I'm not bragging about me. I'm bragging about the keeps, what the keeps can do for you, keep you with a full head of fucking hair and affordable. They got 24-7 care and support. They're gonna send it right to your place.

They got the convenient virtual doctor consultations and medications delivered straight to your door every three months. You don't even got to leave your home. 24-7 care and support. And it's low cost. I mean, the treatment started just $10 a month and keeps offers generic versions of the two FDA approved medications to prevent hair loss. of the two FDA-approved medications to prevent hair loss. So if you're ready to take action and prevent hair loss, go to keeps.com slash flagrant to receive your first month of treatment for free.

That's keeps.com slash flagrant to get your first month free. keeps.com slash flagrant. This episode is sponsored by PayPal Honey. That's right. Okay, it's the browser add-on that's going to save you money. Think about that. You know, you go to buy something online,

they always have that little box and it's like, oh, if you have a discount code, put it in here. And none of you have a discount code. I don't have a discount code. None of us ever do. Well, what if there was some software that would scour the entire internet for every discount code that was

available for the website that you're on and then just put it in there for you wouldn't that be delicious wouldn't that be sweet wouldn't that be like honey yes it was paypal honey has got your back that's literally what it does you just use the browser extension yes dude you just check out you Yes, dude. You just check out. You click a little extension. It says apply coupons. As you're checking out, it scours the internet and you get the best coupon code. It's free and you save money. Why aren't you going to do it right now? I've used it. Save money on shoes. Go to joinhoney.com slash flagrant. That's all you got to do. You go to joinhoney.com slash flagrant, and then you save money on everything that you buy from now until you're dead. Think about that. Guys, if you don't already have Honey,

you could be straight up missing out. It's literally free and installs in a few seconds. And by getting it, you'll be doing yourself a solid and supporting this podcast. I never recommend something that I don't use myself, okay? I make my wife use it. We save money in this household by just getting the coupons out of nowhere with honey.

Get honey for free at joinhoney.com slash flagrant. That's joinhoney.com slash flagrant. Now let's get back to the show. Okay, Italy was fire. I've lost respect for Italians that are in America. Wait, what? It's just such an amazing place, you'd have to be dumb to leave. Wait, which Italians in America are you talking about?

Like, all Italians that left. Well, when did they leave? Whenever they did. Okay. Dumb. Like Mussolini, even? Him, dumb. No, no, no, I'm saying, you're under Mussolini's dictatorship or whatever, and you leave.

They still got spaghetti, they still got cheeses. That's true, that's true. We don't got spaghetti here. Good weather, you can look at the Coliseum. There's tons of things you can do. If you're Jewish-Italian, yeah, get the fuck out of there. But if you're not, what's the big deal? Fight a little war, go back to the beach.

Run it up. A Mophie. You're not going to fight in August. Honestly, if there's- It's too hot in August. Everybody takes August off. Like, yeah, you got to take vacation from war, bro. Yo, if there's no Italians in America, though, there's no cool white people in America.

Yo, yo, yo. That is disrespectful. Yeah, I like disrespectful. That's a fact, though. That's a fact. Yo, the only white people... He got these French nerds. That's a fact, bro. Italian Americans are so cool. Italians are swagged out white people.

Black people jack their shit. That's fact. That's how fucking cool they are. Can I be honest, though, about Italy, though, and just Italians in general? And I'm sure that there are some leftover Italy in the Italians that are here. But even the Italians that came here,

they're coming before Italy is the country that it is today. Right. Italy is 1947. It's a democracy. Yeah. And I think, like, 18, maybe 70 or something like that before that, that it's like a republic.

Was it a republic it's called? I think so. Something like that. Basically, it's under, like, either a king or a tyrant, a dictator, et cetera. Yeah. So it's a younger country than America. Yeah. Governmentally.

Governmentally. Culturally, though. Yes. But culturally, it's old. Veryally. Culturally, though. Yes, but culturally it's old. Very old. Thousands of years old. Like outside of obviously the Greek Empire, and we're talking about the West, obviously, you know, 5,000 years ago, you go to India, you find these. But just, we're talking about Western civilization.

And you're in it, and I went to Venice, and Venice was like this remarkably beautiful city, but there's no people there. And a city without people is a museum. I found the people in Venice to be unfriendly. I would too though. Like, cause imagine you lived in Times Square. Yeah. You know what I mean?

The whole city is Times Square. The whole city is Times Square. And it's kind of sad because when you're there, you're like, this is the most stunning place I've ever seen. Yeah. The entire, it doesn't even make sense. You're like, how does every stunning place i've ever seen yeah the entire it doesn't even make sense you're like how does every street end on water yeah like it's so incredible and like but because it's all tourists you lose some flavor you some sauce like the beautiful thing about

new york is not seeing the fucking buildings and seeing some guy go you know fuck out of here like seeing somebody cursing somebody seeing somebody do something wild seeing a new yorker actually be nice when you think that they're gonna be a city yes for me a city is the people right and the energy of the city is the people and that informs everything else about it yeah right and so venice was cool florence was also like really cool but again lots of tourists and again this summer is a tourist season it's the most remarkable you know empire in history the the Roman Empire. So you're still going to want to visit these places, right? But Florence doesn't even get popping until the 1500s.

Renaissance is built kind of around Florence, right? Rome, though, bro? Son. Rome is the most amazing city that's ever existed, and there will never be a city as amazing ever again. And I say that as like a proud new york it is what the most amazing thing about rome at least for me was that all these ancient relics aren't behind like a wall with a ticket to get yeah you are eating dinner and the pantheon is right there right you're eating dinner in a plaza that was built 2,000 years ago.

Yeah. You know what I'm saying? Yeah. You're just having a drink and there's a stone wall that existed 2,000 years ago. Yeah. That was the edge of the city.

Everything that you're seeing is just this amazing ancient history that's right in front of your face and I just got fucking overwhelmed by it and there's like two like historic times in italy which in most countries you go to there's like one time yeah italy had the roman empire which is one of the craziest empires we've seen in history one of them and then they had the renaissance yeah yeah so you see shit from bc and it's all historic and then there's also all this historic shit from 1500 AD

or whatever it is so it's like history on top of history it's fucking crazy and they just like blend and bake it all in like even as you see like the influence of Catholicism and this is something I want to talk to you guys about but like Italians are like the least Catholic people you know I mean like my understanding of Catholicism, because I come from, you know, British roots, right? It's like very kind of repressed and with hell. Exactly. Like stiff upper lip. Everything's about the afterlife, dude.

Don't worry about this life. The afterlife is going to be dope. So like suffer through this life. It's like Irish Catholics and shit. Yes. So it's like suffer through this life. Life is suffering, but that's okay because the afterlife is going to be lit. Italians whose culture exists before Catholicism is about indulging in life.

Everything is about servicing, have the best food. The ripest tomato, which comes from America, by the way. They didn't have tomatoes before us. Isn't that crazy? That's nuts. I did not know that. They didn't have pasta and shit. My first question is like, are you going to cap and say they had better pizza? Yeah.. Yeah. I did not know that. They didn't have pasta and shit. My first question is like,

are you going to cap and say they have better pizza? Yeah. Stop it. Al, Al, Al. You just said Japan had better pizza. I'm being honest, bro. Al, you ain't been nowhere.

No, I have. What are you talking about? You went to Italy? Yes. Al's traveled, bro. Nigga, I traveled. He don't seem like it. He forgets everything.

But he's been all around the world. Yeah, Al knows he's been somewhere. When he's been there again, he goes, oh, I think I've been here. He has to go to Italy all the way and be like, I just looked from here. I've been on tour for two years. I've got to remind a motherfucker that we were at a place that he videotaped. So, okay, I'm glad that you guys, and you spent time there too? Yeah.

Okay, so the culture is just built around these amazing indulgences, right? It's like getting the most out of life. And that was probably for the top 0.1%, right? Even when you look at the Renaissance, we think like everybody's just painting and existing. It's like, no, most people's lives were fucking miserable and sucked. They're dying of fucking dysentery. But the top 1% was living the most lavish, beautiful life that you could ever imagine. And obviously those are the people that write the history books, et cetera.

But when you look at what these people, what the focus was, right? Like love, passion, family, speaking with your hands, yelling, screaming, hugging, kissing. It is the least, when you think of like Irish Catholic, they're the least like Catholic people you can imagine, right?

Now obviously Catholicism is like baked into the culture. The fucking Vatican is right there. But it gave me, one, a new perspective on I guess Catholicism, because if this is where it was birthed, then this is a more true form of it potentially. So now I'm looking at that in a different way. But I'm also it gave me a crazy new perspective on. On on on soccer clubs. I didn't understand what football, as you guys say, was to Europeans.

We do say that. Right? So, and now it kind of makes sense because when I was living in Barcelona, we would like ask people from Barcelona, like, hey, are you a big fan of the team? They're like, oh, I love the team. We'd be like, who's on the team?

And these motherfuckers wouldn't even know three people on the team. And it wasn't about the players. It was about the identity. And then I start to learn that these people don't see themselves as Italian first. They see themselves as Neapolitan first. They see themselves as Venetian first. Florentine first.

That's where all those Italians are like, oh, I'm Sicilian. It's like, why are you saying that? We don't care. We don't get it, right? Because America, for the most part, is founded as America. Yes, there's the 13 colonies, and we have states, rice, I'm Sicilian. It's like, why are you saying that? We don't care. We don't get it, right? Because America, for the most part, is founded as America. Yes, there's the 13 colonies and we have states, rice,

and all this other shit. But for the most part, we see each other as one cohesive unit. Once you're America, you're America. Yes, right? So it's like, and it's not like New York is fighting against New Jersey for some shit and we've always been like bickering.

Where all these different regions were under different rule at different times. Yeah. Right? So they were fighting for their identity. The Florentines were fighting for their identity. Right? So they were fighting for their identity. The Florentines were fighting for their identity. The Venetians are fighting for their identity. The Sardinians are fighting for their identity.

So that's the last bastion of that identity that still gets to fight. Right, right, right. So now I understand the soccer club, what it means to someone from Munich. Because Munich wasn't part of Germany always, but it was Munich. Yeah. Do you know what I'm saying? Like these areas existed as their own little kingdoms, their own little

townships, and they have their own identities and then have agreed to be part of this thing, but have existed for thousands of fucking years. So now I see football as this reflection of kind of who they are, instead of oh, I just really like this team enough to fight somebody about it. It's not

about sports, it's about identity. That's it. Yeah. And I think as a Knicks fan, I'm not like, the Knicks represent New York. And it's like, no, they don't. There's a thousand things that represent New York. Exactly.

New York was here way before any of that shit. Basketball, what the fuck is that? And American identity is assimilation. It's a melting pot. You're going to come here. You're going to assimilate. You might have your influence, but we're all going to be American. And I think maybe that's why we get hyped about sports when it comes to the

Olympics. Yes. Right? Because that's the closest thing, I guess. Exactly. The way we feel about Olympics, they'll feel about soccer. Yes. Right? We don't have to be a fan of fucking curling, but if the U.S. is doing it, and we're going up against fucking Germany, we're like, run it back. You saw what happened last time.

U.S.A. You'd start chanting that shit, I'm in. I'm in. I don't care. I'm who we playing i don't give a fuck i don't know yeah what's the sport on i don't know never seen it you wouldn't matter you would say yeah it's just contagious you're in it yeah and then there's india is a similar thing where it's like we weren't always india so all these different regions different languages i'm thama before i'm indian yeah you know what i mean so it's i understand that and I wonder how unique the American this is our country thing is. Bro, it's so unique because we're forced into country so soon. Yeah.

Whereas these other places, like people developed their own towns, and they were constantly like invaded. Yeah. Invasion was part of life. Yeah. You just had the Huns just coming, pulling up. I wonder if it helps the collective if you're able to get rid of that individualized identity. What do you mean by that?

I think about China. I wonder if there's people in Shanghai, they're like, I'm Shanghai, and fuck people in Beijing. Or if they're all just like, yo, we are China.

I think China eradicates that shit. That's my point. That's why Hong Kong is an issue. That's my thing. So as a social tool, oh, if we just kind of get rid of all these little enclaves, we can create a bigger thing. I wonder if that's why America succeeded. Here's my thing. So like as a like a social tool, oh, if we just kind of get rid of all these little like enclaves, we can create a bigger thing. I wonder if that's

why America's succeed. Here's what's interesting. I don't think they care about that shit. Their mentality is not, oh, we should be a superpower. Kind of what Andrew said, and it's a similar word. It's just I'm splitting hairs, but like I didn't pick up on indulgence and abundance. I picked up on we're going to enjoy life. We're going to be happy.

I didn't say abundance. When I think of indulgence, I think of the American, I'm going to eat a shitload of dessert because we're going to enjoy life. We're going to be happy. I didn't say abundance. When I think of indulgence, I think of the American, I'm going to eat a shitload of dessert because I'm going to indulge. They're going to say I'm going to eat the amount of dessert that makes me happy because why would I not enjoy my life? I should be happy. I should be happy. This concept of like you should be happy doesn't necessarily exist in like the Irish Catholic world.

No, no, no. It doesn't exist in America. I think it's predicated on the same idea, though. It's it's like you're gonna die like there's a finality to life yeah and irish people internalize it like okay we're gonna die so like let's just thug it out through this and then have paradise later yeah whereas italians like oh we're gonna die soon we do it here i'm sorry to interrupt but what did we say at the beginning of this i'm gonna work my ass off now so i can enjoy my life later okay so this is okay so this is this is kind of interesting right like uh and i think we've discussed this on the pod before but about how

like ancient cultures all become lazy and we view them as lazy but it's not as much laziness as it is after a thousand years of living we figured out the best way to kind of live and it's not grind for fucking 80 hours and kill yourself and have your back fucking hurt. It's more enjoyable to have like friends, family, loved ones, share food, enjoy a sunset, et cetera. It's more you get it. Say again? It's more so they get it.

They get life. Now, here's the thing. We're not there yet. They don't get it because they figured some shit out that we didn't figure it out. They're just part of this ancient fucking existence. You ask an old guy, like, how much did you work? And he's like, oh,

just go to the beach, don't work so hard, enjoy time with your kids, whatever. Like, that's, they are that person embodied in a society. Yeah, 100% that. Now, we're very fortunate where, like, we get to do something that we love, right? So it's like, we get to look at the sunset. We're working our asses off. We're also looking at the sunset kind of while we're doing it, right? So it's like, we get to look at the sunset. We're working our asses off. We're also looking at the sunset

kind of while we're doing it, right? Now, but Americans have this idea, which is like, just grind, grind, grind, get it. Now, that makes sense. You come from a place with less opportunity. You go to a place with opportunity. And you go, like my mom, less opportunity in Scotland,

comes here. I was like, she said, I can work hard and just make money and do anything I fucking want. Yeah. She's going to kill herself like a dog. And we're directly from an immigrant. So we're like, I saw what they had to sacrifice to get me here. I can't let up.

This is that we, every, and people have spoken about this before. We have like an immigrant like mentality. But what that really means is like, oh, I could do something. And then I'm going to take advantage of that opportunity and and I'm going to run it up because we're young. Eventually, we're going to be the kids, kids, kids of the immigrants, and those people are going to start doing, you know what's really nice? Having a fucking corona on the West Side Highway and enjoying that. And I know it sounds crazy to think that Americans will eventually, if we're fortunate and lucky, be lazy. Not lazy is a bad term. That's what we view it as, but like enjoying that. And I know it sounds crazy to think that Americans will eventually, if we're fortunate and lucky, be lazy. Not lazy is a bad term. That's what we view

it as. But like enjoying life. Relaxed. We will move towards that if we're lucky. And by lucky I mean we get to maintain ourselves as a country. Somebody else comes in and fucking evades you and tries to strip your culture and maybe it doesn't work that way. But if things work out in fucking 500 years, we'll be sitting there just

looking at the fucking George Washington Bridge at dusk and going, oh, that's really nice at dusk. There were no more impactful. There's no more place I visit as more impactful on me than Italy. First time I went, I went to Rome for like one day with my cousin's sister or whatever. And I was like, oh, this is why people travel. When I saw the Colosseum and the museums and the Vatican. The Vatican, dog? What the fuck?

Mid. You thought mid? You showed a picture of that one hall with all the artwork. That blew my fucking mind. I will give you that. The amount of artwork that exists within it is incredibly impressive. It's a museum, but honestly, Sistine Chapel, like... Oh, that's amazing.

Dude, one guy painting that whole ass thing. You're bugging. Yeah. You're bugging. Why me? How's it me? Just think about the construction of that. It's fucking amazing.

He wants to talk about the fucking animals or whatever in the Roman... How do they steal the animals? How do they get the tigers? You don't want to give it up to the Vatican. That shit is amazing. Because that was the first thing I named. I was like, it's the Vatican. It's a coliseum.

What are you fucking talking about? I'm not doing the contrarian thing because I'm coming back from Europe and doing the fucking hack American thing, being like, they figured it out. I'm trying to add some more nuance to it, but I had a really fucking profound experience and it was the first place that I went

to that I didn't feel like I was checking off the list. A lot of places I've went to, like I went to Japan and I was like, okay, I experienced this, this is awesome, but I don't need to come back. Cool, let's go back. Yeah. Italy, I'm like, I'm coming back. Yes.

Every year. I'm going to bust my ass and work my fucking ass off. I'm there. I'm texting Dove. I'm going, we're going to the fucking Amalfi Coast. We didn't even talk about Amalfi yet, but we're doing a pod on the Amalfi Coast. We're taking everybody out there.

We're fucking renting a yacht. I want these guys to experience what I'm experiencing right now. Like, I'm trying. Yeah, it was fucking profound, man. I'm curious. You didn't feel that way similarly from when you were in Spain? Because, like, Spain doesn't have as much, like, history. Yeah, but the people, same sentiment.

The people, yes. Like, that changed my life when I went over there. I'll say this about Spain. I was, like, back in 2008. It people, yes. That changed my life when I went over there. I'll say this about Spain. Back in 2008. It's quite interesting. Is that Spain is Italy. Remove an empire.

But Spain is Italy without the Vatican. Okay. So Italians can't remove themselves from Catholicism. Because the Vatican plays such a crucial role in culture. Spain has so many atheists. Spain is like, they used to be Catholic. Maybe the old ladies are, but they're like, gays is fine. Everybody's fine.

We're just moving, shaking. And Italians, you even speak to them. They're like, you know, like we want to be cool with, you know, gay marriage and all these things. But we have the most. Papa Francisco. Exactly. But that's why Spain is like, like, the people who are just like, let's enjoy life.

Let's enjoy life. They get it, though. With nothing holding us back. Yeah. It's so crazy. Such a dumb thing I was saying. My second time I went to, they went to Florence, and I just saw like,

people that had to be in their 80s and 90s walking completely upright, not hunched over. I saw one or two people riding bicycles, and I was like, yo, there's got to be something to the fact that I don't ever see old people this happy in a place like New York.

Now, I will say this. This is quite interesting. When you live and exist in a culture that is about I said indulgence but like enjoying yourself, right? You're always going to progress towards more enjoyment if you can, right? Like we have a

dopamine rush on our phone and then all of a sudden a new app will be developed and it locks us in even more, the TikTok. And there'll be an even crazier version of that, and then we'll just be constantly looking at a screen. Okay? So the same thing happens culturally before this tech that we have. And that's why you looked at, like, how the fucking pagan cultures that preexisted Catholicism in Italy, like human beings like devolved, right? Like I think you were even telling me about that like sex music, uh, brothel in Pompeii. Oh yeah, that shit's crazy.

So like, so Pompeii, because it was, uh, the Mount Vesuvius erupted, the volcano erupted, and it was stuck under this volcanic ash, you basically get an idea of what life was like. In other words, what happens throughout Italy is that people repurpose these buildings, right? Even like St. Peter's Basilica used to be a fucking horse racing track from Nero, right? So I think that's where St. Peter was killed and that's why they built it there. Everything got upgraded though. And that's why they're called basilicas in Italy. There's no basilicas in America.

Okay. Because it's basically like a pagan place they turned into a church. Okay. Right? So, but if it's covered in ash, they can't flip it. Right, right, right. So now life from literally, what is it, when was it? It's like 30, it was like 32 or something. Yeah, the year 32

exists. And Naples, which is essentially where Pompeii was, or the closest thing to it, was wild, bro. Like there's a fucking brothel where people are fucking. 79 AD. Okay. So in the brothel, you said like people are fucking like, they're pictures of what you can do.

Yeah, you can like pick out your shit. And gnarly shit, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, it's like in prostitutes were everywhere. Like they had sandals that had the message of where the brothel was underneath the sandals. So when prostitutes walked around, you could see the tracks. That was the advertising. They would tell you where to go.

It was some crazy shit like that. They have the whole penis museum. They just have old statues of penises. They don't really know, but they conjectured it was penis worship. And then other people were like, oh, just like funny graffiti that like kids would do what mark means by penis museum he's not talking about a museum that is built now a museum that existed in 79 yeah ad yeah right and there's these crazy sex acts and stuff happening in the brothel and i wonder if i mean the rise of catholicism has nothing to do with this but uh the rise in Catholicism in Italy is very simple.

It's like, what if the majority of people are fucking poor, destitute, dying, and a religion comes around? It's like, yo, everybody's equal. And life is great afterwards. The last shall come first. Yes. You know what I mean? But imagine that. Like, 99% of people are suffering, and then somebody's coming around going, yo, you're just as good as that king, dude.

And heaven's awesome, don't you want to? And I think that the people who were running Italy or running the empire start to go, all right, we can't control this at all. We've got to incorporate some of this pagan shit. I think Constantine, right? Incorporate some of this pagan shit into Catholicism and just blend these things and let's use it to kind of like manage but um but i think there's probably some part you were tapping into this earlier before the podcast where it's like you could make the argument and this is going to sound wild and i think there's a joke here as well but like if you live long enough you become the bigot yeah right like we all live long enough like when we were young we were like yo gay marriage

and accept gay people whatever and by the time we're older we're going to be like what are these people with their 14 genders? What's wrong with them? Robots and shit? Yeah, exactly. And the kids are going to look at, oh, look at these old people and their bigoted ways. You live long enough, you become the bigot. I imagine the Catholic

enterprise comes in and goes, yo, cut out all this fucking animal shit. Why y'all fucking boys? Everybody has a little boy they get to fuck. Michelangelo's fucking little boys. I mean, I guess they were kind of cool with that. But like every painter got a little boy, a little concubine that they're fucking.

An apprentice. That was an apprentice. An apprentice. They fucking called it, right? So it's like, I wonder if the Catholic Church decreased boy fucking by like 99% that's so crazy and now in history we look at the Catholic Church as

the boy fuckers and there's gotta be some old fucking cardinals in there that are like y'all know how much boy fucking we stopped y'all should be thanking us every day so in other words cut him a break give him an allowance King Kong ain't got nothing Y'all should be thanking us every day. So in other words, cut him a break. Cut him a break. Give him an allowance, okay?

That's it. A little bit. King Kong ain't got nothing on me. But isn't that kind of crazy? I have to talk to like, I'm sure there's like historians that, you know, especially in the Vatican, like understand what life was like at the time. It's hard to bring up that topic, I think. I think you'd have a hard time. I bring up what it was like before then and what they did to it. Be like, yo, can we talk about

boy fucking a little bit in a good way? I didn't think about that. That's a funny flip. I was just thinking like, yo, they stopped so much sexual deviance. Like, again, homosexuality, fucking boys. It was just a thing. Greek culture, Roman culture. And then all of a sudden it's just done. They cut it out. They did.

One, two. But we look at them as repressive now but that shit was progressive imagine your son just got scooped up by whatever fucking royal family was there like yeah that's a nice boy

but we're gonna take him now Michelangelo's just gonna shoot loads in his ass for the rest for as long as it takes for him to build a Sistine Chapel

yeah and he was taking mad long probably cause he was old yeah and he was you know has a little apprentice hanging out

for a long time yeah that's why but then again he was doing that with the church so there, you know, has a little apprentice hanging out for a long time. Yeah, that's why. But then again, he was doing that with the church. So there they had his back. I don't know. I just thought that was kind of interesting. Everybody, if you live long enough,

you become the bigot. That is so funny. Like, they really thought, hey, bro, we clean this shit up. 12 kids? Yeah. Who cares? It was fucking animals, bro.

That's so funny. It was literally fucking animals, right? Oh, my God. That's so good. Did you see all the little Easter eggs in the Sistine Chapel and shit? What do you mean? They have like... We did a tour. They broke down all the little shit that's in it.

Okay, go. Go. Go. The creation of Adam or whatever, people say Michelangelo didn't fuck with the church. They're like, yeah, he was not about... He was gay, dude. Yeah, he was not... You didn't do the tour

where they explained the shit to you? I watched fucking Angels and Demons or whatever the fuck y'all fucking watched. No, you didn't. Don't make it all. You love that shit. I love Angels and Demons, bro.

You love that shit. The Da Vinci Code. Oh, the Illuminati. Follow the red line. Look at my real history from Wikipedia. Yeah, that's why I didn't like it. You didn't take the tour.

If you take the tour... I had a guide. I had a guide. Oh, son. I don't know how you I didn't like it. You didn't take the tour. If you take the tour. I had a guide. I had a guide. Oh, son. I don't know how you still didn't like it. But like this shit? Yeah. He's inside the brain or whatever?

The brain. Yeah, God is the brain. So you did do it. I mean, everybody knows this, right? What's the Easter egg? This is just the fucking like, did little Japanese girls do that shit or whatever? Yeah, but what's the Easter egg? So like Michelangelo basically was, like, oh, God is,

you can interpret a bunch of different ways, but basically God is inside the brain of man. Yeah. Okay. See, he didn't know that. I'm educating him, okay?

I don't know what's unique about that. They make it look like a brain. Do you see that? Oh, okay. So Michelangelo's painting, he's painting in the crown jewel

of the Catholic Church being like, yo, this God shit is not even real. Well, he didn't say it's not real. Well, maybe he did. That's what he might be saying.

I understand now. Did you see the picture where they're, it's not on the ceiling. It's on the, behind the altar or whatever like that, where, actually I forget which one it is, but the image where he's showing who goes to hell, who doesn't. Yo, Michelangelo's kind of lit. Outside of boy fucking. He put one of the popes in hell or some shit, right?

Nah, he put the cardinal. That's a pretty big caveat. Outside of boy fucking. He's pretty lit. Yo, outside of boy fucking? He put one of the popes in hell or some shit, right? Nah, he put the cardinal. It's a pretty big caveat. Outside of boy fucking. No, outside of boy fucking. Yo, we, and when we had Stavros here, he really broke that down. Judge people based on the time they were in, bro. 100%? Yeah.

Because Michelangelo, we got fucking plazas dedicated to this boy fucker. Like, it was what it was. But he has this thing about who's, it's like basically the rapture. You can look at the image of the rapture. Is this Dante's Inferno? No, it's like basically the rapture. You can look at the image of the rapture. Is this Dante's Inferno? No, it's called The Last Judgment. The Last Judgment, yeah. And he's in it too, which is kind of fire.

This is the little Easter egg that's kind of cool. But there was one dude that was talking wild shit about him and he didn't like him. So he put him being dragged to hell. Click on this and zoom in and then look at the bottom right. What, this guy? The left. No, no, no. This isn't the picture.

Yeah, that's zoomed in. You got to go like two images. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, yeah, yeah. Now, yes, take this and then zoom all the way into the bottom right. Okay, now look at the bottom right.

That guy on the bottom right, that was his biggest critic. Didn't want him to do and was giving mad pushback about everything he was doing. He has him going to hell, and he has a snake wrapped around him, biting his dick off. And then, another kind of cool thing is...

I mean, they was fucking animals that I could have... Maybe it was a fetish. This thing right here, that's Michelangelo. Oh, he's getting dragged into heaven or some shit? Well, his soul exists in hell. Whoa.

And his skin. They're trying to take him to heaven, but he knows the life that he lives. I'm a bad guy. I'm staying here. Oh, wow. But everyone thinks I'm going to be in heaven. Yeah. Whoa.

Yeah, that's fine. I thought that's kind of cool. This is amazing. But to me, that acknowledges that he is somewhat religious. Yeah. Right? He's going, he's not saying that that's him. He's just putting the skin suit in there.

So he's like, all right, maybe I do believe in this thing that's out here, and I'm going to be punished because I chose to live this life. But in terms of, like, the imagery, I've seen better paintings. I wasn't blown away. He put God's ass randomly on the Sistine Chapel? Oh, also, he was stealing mad people's shit. He was walking around the Vatican and there was all these sculptures and all these faces, and you can see

who he used, the bodies and the faces, to make the images of God. So he's just walking around the Vatican and be like, that's a pretty good body. I'll just paint that as God's body. I like that face. I'll paint that as God's face. That's fire. We all had ghost writers. But mid, though, right? as God's body. I don't like that face. I'll paint that as God's face. That's far. Yeah.

I mean, we all had ghost writers. But mid, though, right? Yeah, you got the ghost writers. But he still painted it. You know what I mean? Like, I don't care what the body looks like.

He's still the Drake. He's a painter or something. Like, what the fuck you want him to do? He painted it. That's what I'm saying. He still, I don't fault him

for getting inspiration. I don't know. I was in there. I was, I thought it was mid. One crazy thing about design is that like, like right now,

if you think about this, so many artists that are probably nicer than him. Way nicer. But we don't like build them up or praise them to like do some shit like that. I'll say about him specifically. I was blown away by the Vatican. Deadass. I'll say something specific.

I'm just saying like. About him. And this is important to understand. Like he was also an engineer and that's what's kind of crazy about this time so helicopter bro that was leonardo right but uh but this guy for example he all right he's painting the ceiling right the ceiling is very tall yeah he built the rig so he could paint the ceiling like he constructed it he did all the engineering to build it it doesn't seem like that crazy, but imagine your average painter right

now. They don't know no shit about fucking... But if, like, hey, you're going to get paid a bunch of money to be able to get up there and paint some shit, they're going to figure that shit out, bro. If you get paid a bunch of money, it's, yo, God wants you to come paint, fam. Bro, this is 1500s. No, I'm not taking anything away from it. I'm just saying we don't

appreciate art the way that they did in the past. But they also knew it was marketing. It's like people had nothing to do. Like, this is a movie. We also got TikTok, bro. That's what it's like. There's a lot more, yeah. When you see these pieces, like, you realize they're just, like, telling stories.

And this is, it's basically like a movie before a movie. There's this column in Rome. Did you see that column? It's near the forum. Maybe. And it's basically the story of. The one column. There's a, you know, there's like a.

It's like a really specific column and it basically wraps around with a story and for people that can't read they just understand imagery it's the story I fucking

I forget exactly what it is maybe of the Roman Empire or how they conquered a certain place whatever but you can walk around that shit for an hour and imagine that

like that's your we watch the same friends people go to bed watching Friends. But imagine you took your kid and then you explained what happened in each moment. That's a movie. TikTok's better, bro.

I wasn't with Al, but now I'm kind of with you. Average TikTok might be better than Sistine Chapel. We got a bunch of Michael Angelos right now. So we got a bunch of these. I'm with you on that. I thought the bunch of Michelangelo's right now. So we got a bunch of these. I'm with you on that. I thought the 16 Chapels mid.

I thought Vatican was kind of mid. There was advertisements for Mexico when I walked in. There was like four billboards for Mexico. And I'm like, I know they ain't advertising in the motherfucking Vatican, bro. You got to advertise heaven. Not Mexico. Full thing. No, advertise heaven.

I also, it was my first trip to Italy so I hadn't seen any of the basilica my first trip to Europe so I hadn't seen any basilica shit I hadn't seen any of these churches that were so beautiful

so the first thing I saw was the Vatican and I was like what the fuck this is incredible I haven't seen anything like this it's good to start there and then you just go into downtown

and drive by wild shit from thousands of years ago that's just right in the middle of town I mean you could drive by the Coliseum of years ago that's just right in the middle of town. I mean, you could drive by the Coliseum. Yeah. You just walk by it and get somewhere else.

My thing to you is that you're blown away by this because you went there for a limited period of time. If you live there, you'll be over it. He always says it's a stay in New York. Son, you'll be over it. I don't want to move to Italy. People come from around the world to see times where they're blown the fuck away

And we're so over it No I think what we've made is incredible And I think that like Bro you take a flight and you land at JFK Or you land at Newark And you look out the window and you get to see Manhattan The island That is a miracle

It's a miracle what happened here So and we're inside it So it's hard to get perspective. But your building is super tall. You probably have views of the city or something like that, right? So it's like you get to see what we did. And I imagine you're coming from another place. You go to Europe, they don't got buildings more than six stories. That's what they're fascinated by.

They got skyscrapers there. It's remarkable what we got. There's no question. It's also remarkable what we got there's no question it's also remarkable what they got but when you look at like the history in the history of like the empire for me what's so fascinating is just to kind of like live within the history to know that there are people that just built these things you're in the coliseum you're like yo thousands of years ago they got animals from africa stealing babies bro that's crazy and then it's ships isn't that the craziest

one that's wild the fact they had whole boats doing battleships in there yeah and the coliseum stealing babies, bro. That's crazy. And then it's ships. Isn't that the craziest one? That's wild. The fact they had whole boats doing battleships in there? Yeah. And the Colosseum wasn't even a big shit. The Colosseum was little

compared to what they had in the Forum. That's the other thing that's wild. A crazy thing, the dude that had, I think it was Nero that had the Colosseum built,

I'm pretty sure it was him. Dude went crazy. Yeah. And, uh... I think he's the guy they traced the, like, the fall of Rome back to, I think. Is that right?

I think. I don't know. You know, fiddled on Rome. Incest right there. No. Lead pipes. They don't know that for a fact, but he didn't get crazy until he was already living in the royal facility. And before that, you're getting water from whatever source you're getting water from.

Maybe you have a well by your home or estate. It's not like he was poor. But once you're using the actual plumbing, the average person isn't getting access to that just plumbing right to the house. Only the royals are. So this dude's getting that. This is the one theory. Getting that lead pipe water. Man went crazy. Kills

Peter. Lead pipes made Catholicism. Let's go. I'm just saying. Like, think about it. Right? Like.

Yeah, no. There's no Vatican without lead pipes, bro. Wow. There's no Vatican without lead pipes. In a way, yeah. That's a good-ass point. Honestly, you got a good point. I'm just saying, bro.

Ain't no Vatican without lead. So what do you think is going happen in a hundred years in New York where we're just drinking water? We're like, oh actually this is poisonous for us. And what's our lead pipe? We went to school with fucking asbestos all over Good we turned up bro yo Al's shoulders are big enough bro that is true though like I wonder if like everybody was

talking about how wild New York was at certain points in time like what if that was the case what if we were just on some like asbestos shit I mean it's still kind of wild now

so they gotta get some asbestos out the Bronx I'm like god damn that's a good point right though like

COVID is in you asbestos Every city fucked up right now Nah New York is going crazy Wait you think I think so It's a little It's a little wild

I wanted to ask you about this Because like I felt it You're acting like you felt it though Nah I still kind of tapped it And this shit is going Really

Wild right now Yo Cause you said that shit to me. Tell him what I said to you. We were leaving the studio. You were a white girl wasted off eight white claws. And we're walking home and you're like, bro, doesn't this shit feel crazy? Like it feels like wild in New York.

I was like, yeah, a little bit. I was like, a little bit. And he was like, yeah, man, anyway. And then he just walks and tries to get a cigarette from like eight different people. He just walks into a homeless guy and is like, yo, you got to sing. I was like, you told me to be careful. He's like, yeah, you be careful.

I mean, you. Yeah, you. I'm not out for it. I'm just saying. We can spot him, bro. You know how it is. I'm just saying, my head is more on a swivel now

and like, yeah. The difference. You don't got nothing to worry about. Like, you here. Can I tell you? Can I tell you? You got to head on a swivel, bro. It's not.

Just your neighbors Like bitch That's the most you gotta worry about Yeah the cold's coming from inside the house Chelsea Wait Al you acting like you don't live in Long Island City right now Zod You got a fake balcony Zod this is mad firecrackers bro

Yo don't say cracker bro Don't say cracker bro These motherfuckers bro That's firework people 2am They got a whole firework show Right along my water. Yes.

God dang. If y'all want to come through, you can. It ain't gang shit. It's, I think they just let the people who are crazy out. Yes. Yes. They're running amok, bro. Nah.

This is real. Don't agree with this bullshit. Nah, this is real, bro. It's not gangs. It's fucking crazy people out there. What do you know about gangs, bro? About letting them out of where? I see you with your colors. I'm out there now. I'm, this is real, bro. It's not gangs. It's fucking crazy people out there. What you know about gangs, bro? But letting them out of where? I see you with your colors.

How are they out there now? They used to wrangle them up. They used to wrangle these motherfuckers up, put them somewhere, put them in the hospital, put them wherever. Nobody did it.

They just stopped caring. They ain't got enough workers, bro. Crazy people have always been outside. No, it's not. What case? It's Delta, bro. I'm telling you, man. It's some crazies out there again, bro.

I seen these dudes. I seen two guys get in a fight. It was the most New York fight I ever seen in my entire life. There's a point where New Yorkers get upset and everything just devolves into suck my dick. Yeah. Right? And different ways to tell someone suck my dick. So the guy, it was a dude who was homeless, another dude kind of homeless.

I think he was trying to rob the other homeless dude's shit. And he was like, yo, get the fuck away from me. I'm trying to sleep. Get the fuck away from me. They started talking shit and then suck my dicks were just flying, bro. And it was so entertaining. I was walking the dog, half scared, but also half like I got to see where this goes. He goes, suck my dick.

He goes, you know, I'm going to sleep on the ground and I'm going to go to your mother's house so she can suck the ground off my dick. Right? Yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, can suck the ground off my dick. Right? Yo, yo, yo. Yo, yo, it was good. Your mother sucked my dick. Yo, yo, yo. You want to go home, you want to kiss your mother, you want to kiss my dick. You suck my dick.

Your mother, that's with a V. Your mother sucked my dick. How do you guys not love New York? It's great. It's phenomenal. I was a victim of a hit and run over the weekend, okay? All right, guys, do a tape break for a second because our next partner has a product that I use literally every day, okay? I started taking AG1 because it's a quick way to be healthy. I'm telling you, it's hard to get all your daily vitamins, minerals, get better gut health, have more energy, be more

optimized, but Athletic Greens can do that for you in just one sip. 75 vitamins and minerals in that little packet right there. 75, bro. Goddamn, bro. I'm telling you, you feel better. 100%. Knock out them vitamins, knock out them minerals, first thing

in the morning, that's what I do. Now, I've been on it for literally a few few months now trying to think three months maybe yeah yeah well i got a little before the product because i was about to just tell people to take this shit if it made my fucking stomach explode but it turns out that i've been feeling absolutely great so it doesn't taste like it's super healthy, which is very important. It has kind of like a mild, almost like a tropical taste

that I actually look forward to each morning. So what is this stuff? With one delicious scoop of AG1, you're absorbing 75 high quality vitamins, minerals, whole food source, superfoods, probiotics, and adaptogens to help you start your day right. This special blend of ingredients supports your gut health, your nervous system, your immune system,

and your energy recovery, focus, and aging. All the things, okay? Telling you, I'm out here, bro. I'm trying to stay healthy the best way I can. And if I can just take this every single day and knock out my vitamins and minerals, then that's what the fuck I'm going to do. Okay? It's that simple. It's the best thing for me. How I stay healthy, it's what I recommend for you guys. Knock it out in the morning.

You don't got to think about it. That simple. Sleep better. All of it. All kinds of shit. All of it. It's like three bucks a day. It's cheaper than most coffee.

It's amazing right now it's time to reclaim your health and arm your immune system with convenient daily nutrition it's just one scoop in a cup of water every day that's it no need for a million different pills and supplements to look out for your health and to make it easy athletic greens is going to give you a free one-year supply of immune-supporting vitamin D and five free travel packs with your first purchase. All you have to do is visit athleticgreens.com slash flagrant. Again, that is athleticgreens.com slash flagrant to take ownership over your health and pick up the ultimate daily nutritional insurance.

I got to tell you all about the best wallet in the business, and it's Xter. This is a no-brainer. Okay? All my thangs in here. All my thangs in here. And they're in here and safe. Did you know that? Nobody can come by and just boop me.

Do you know what a boop is? You go pay for something, just tap your little card, right? What does that reader do? Takes your credit card information. Well, a dude on the street could do that to you unless you got this shit protected, like Xter got it protected. R-F-I-D protection. Thank you, Akash. It's a card for you nerds you got this shit protected, like Xter got it protected. RFID protection. Thank you, Akash.

For you nerds, I be knowing. But that's important to know about. That's your information right here. 100%. You can't let that shit get out there in the world, get it boobed. 100%. They're skimming. Yeah, skimming.

It's called skimming. That's the proper term for that shit. Also, if I lose this, what happens? You could track it. You're saying I can never lose my wallet? Son, you can never lose your wallet. I mean, can we just repeat that one more time? You're saying there's a wallet out there saying I can never lose my wallet? Son, you can never lose your wallet. I mean, can we just repeat that one more time? You're saying there's a wallet out there where I could never lose my wallet?

There's a wallet out there you can never lose your wallet. That's crazy. It's incredible. That's crazy. Because motherfuckers be losing their wallets. Son, I be losing shit all the time. But not your wallet. Nah, but this.

Simple as that. Because we got trackers on this. Now, what happens if the battery goes for the tracker? Oh, I think it's solar powered. Oh, so there ain't no battery. Oh, it's just the sun? And you just leave that shit out, and then all of a sudden, boom. For months, your shit is good. 100%. This is the best

wallet on the planet. Incredible. It's actually the best wallet on the planet. And they even got this little money band. Bands that make them dance. So, the point that I'm trying to make right now is, you can check out the wallets at extra.com that's ekster.com and you can get up to 20 off site wide when you use the code flagrant not even

up to they're just giving you 20 is that right they're giving you 20 god damn generous generous ass people so 20 off the best wall in the business the best wall in the business anything on site 20 off look at at that. SX there. Let's get back to the show. Use the code flagrant. Use that code flagrant. Let's get back to the show.

New Yorkers hit and ran me, bro. Wait, what do you mean? I got struck by a vehicle in my car parked, but I wasn't in it. You're welcome. You're welcome. No, you needed

to get rid of that. I walked downstairs, I look at my car and the whole front bumper is ripped off. There's no way. Some New Yorker hit it. Oh, yeah. You haven't seen his car front bumpers ripped off. There's no Oh, yeah, yeah, I've seen his car drove off dude word to my mother He sent us a picture of the group. Thanks. Look at the group check

different group Tell you kind of suck my He takes a wild pictures. He takes some Ayo pictures. That's me on the roof. Let me see. Let me see. Where do you post those?

You got an OnlyFans. Mark got an OnlyFans. This car is fucked, dog. Yo, can I be honest with you, Mark? You can't keep nothing nice, bro. No, I'm a victim. Also, do you got the spare tire on? No, they ripped the hubcap off.

No, they didn't. Yes. And it's all destroyed. Why you got a hubcap on a car, bro? Every car has a hubcap. No, it don't. Oh, your Tesla doesn't have a hubcap? No, it has a rim. You stupid. Did you know the plastic? Don't you ever talk about a Scottish Prince against

Don't you ever talk about a Scottish prince again. What do you mean? This is the same picture of Scottish royalty. This motherfucker was talking shit about Scottish royalty right here, bro. Do you know how many pictures like that he takes? This motherfucker loves. God damn, how big his nipples are, bro. This is crazy. I feel like that's a dub.

I feel like that's a dub. Golly, bro. That's a big dub. I can open my phone and I have like a good 10 pictures of him just like that. You don't take pics while you're laying out? Give me my phone back. Nah, nah, keep going through that shit. What are you sending those to?

It's a dove. Nah, that's weird. That's weird, yo. That's Mr. 49% right there. Was it 49 or 47? You guys aren't European at all like me. That's the problem. New York is the most homophobic the second they get in a fight.

It's suck my dick, man. Yeah. I don't know what it is. But that's how homophobic we are. No homo, no homo. It's you going to suck my dick, bro. That shit was crazy, bro. I might take someone up on that if they say that.

Just to prove a point. Suck my dick. Okay. Okay, fine then. Give it time and place. Put your dick out then. Bring it out. Joey Chestnut.

It's done. You won. You won. Yo, suck my dick. All right then. Hey, yo. Run it. It's done. You won. You won. Yo, suck my dick. Alright then. Yo, run it then. So the shifty told me that his best defense in case he ever got into a fight

he's just going to start taking his clothes off. I'm like, you won. You ever seen that video? You won. Dude talk shit gets naked. This guy right here. This guy right here talking shit. Son, there you go. There's no way I'm fighting, dude. Yes, he still got one off on him.

Nigga. Yo. I'm in shredder too, bro. Jeez. Yo, you can't do this skinny, I don't think. You got to have some muscle on you. Yo, this is crazy. It's the greatest.

This one's good. This one's good. Yo, this is crazy. This one's good This one's good I've never seen it They all both take the shirts out Let's go, let's go I thought that was an original idea by Shifty Shippy just telling me some shit that existed Yo they just started running

Two on one He chasing him The power you must feel once you realize that This is a big motherfucker right here. I'm trying to catch Faze real quick, bro. Come on. Let's do that shit, nigga. Trying to get it for real, nigga?

Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go.

Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. He took off Tom Cruise, bro. You got a white ass, bro. What's that about?

Why is he so white in his ass? That's another part of us. Be light, bro. That was weird. Was he tan? Go back to that. That was crazy. He's black.

Don't see the sun. He's black, but that part of him is still tan. That's a white guy, bro. What? Our inside is the same as your inside. But his thighs, bro. It's the same as his thighs. Nah, he just get more tan.

That part don't ever see the sun. Wait Wait so what about black people's dicks then I'll show you my ass right now What about black dick though Black dick doesn't get any sun Is that Yeah but dicks be black That's white Stop making it weird

You got a white dick Nah I be having a black dick Nah he's got a white dick bro Do you have a white dick bro Nah Be honest son Nah it's dark It's weird

My ass is light My ass is light Can I guess the color of your dick son. Nah, it's dark. My ass is light. Can I guess the color of your dick, bro? Absolutely. I think it's more gray. I think you got a gray dick. You don't think it's neon green, though? You know how I be matching it. I just want to stroke my shit

and be like, yeah. I think you got gray dick, bro. You know how I be matching it, though. I think it's like... I'm trying to think what got a gray dick I think it's like I'm trying to think what type of gray it is what human is gray I think you have a gray dick like a gun metal like a macbook

like your dick is matte white walker like what are you talking about but it's not that shiny like your dick is like a little gray like your dick is like sad like like your dick is like sickly like the London He got tired and seeing like autumn baby Dixon David and shit like that he's like y'all know though You didn't say no you dick ain't chocolate. You know that you don't have chocolate dick I got a version of chocolate. No, We don't know what type of chocolate.

It could be dark. It could be milk. It could be white chocolate. I'm just saying. You got a great dick, bro. And I don't mean that disrespectfully. I mean that just as an observation. Your dick is great.

Real talk. He's coming from a pink dick nigga. Yo, he does. Like real talk, son. Like a dog dick. Yes, that is. He's got like a dog's dick. You got that lipstick Yo, PDN, bro. That's crazy, son. That's Schultz right there. That's me. That's me. Yo, let's go.

That should look like Stranger Things. Why is it so different, bro? Yo, does that shit ever make you feel weird? You're just like hanging out at your house all of a sudden your dog's dick comes out? Nah, because my dog's a girl. Oh, lucky. I know, but when her pussy flies. Yo, when her pussy flies.

Did your dog get a period? What's that? What do you mean, what's that? His dog's on birth control. His dog's on birth control. Yo, what do you mean? Did your dog get her period? What are you talking about, bro?

Periods are for like women, bro. No, dogs get that shit. Come on, dogs ain't getting No fucking periods Nah but his dog's neutered Or spayed His dog must be spayed Hold up hold up hold up Dogs that are girls

Get periods I was with Weezy son And all of a sudden That shit started dripping I'm like yo Clean that Get a dog tampon right Fix that

Fix that Dogs bleed bro I'm like Don't bring that dog there me until that is so female dogs yeah they get their period for seven days and everything and still happy yeah Yeah. You know what I'm saying? They ain't crying about nothing. Ain't no mood swings. They happy as hell. Tail wagging. Ready to go for a walk.

Ready to sit when you tell them sit. Yeah. Yeah, you get the peanut butter out. It's on site. It's on site, bro. It's on site. But that thing right there is fucking terrifying, bro. Yeah, bro.

That shit is mad weird. Yo. I'll be hanging with my dog and that shit will come out and it's just a dog in florida why are you making things up i got a timeshare dog in my house man shut up you talking about miles bro we know what you're talking about when miles dick get hard that pink come out that florida that desantis when you talk back that DeSantis, bro, come on. Look at that dick. Miles got a big dick. He's not pink.

You think Miles? Yo, Miles fumbled the motherfucking box, bro. Hannah told me Miles fumbled the motherfucking box. We don't need to do this. Yes, we do. Yes, we do. Yes, we do. Yes, we do.

Yes, we do. Yo, come on, man. We don't need to do this. That dick got Mark's forehead. That's a strong one right there, bro Get that dick out of here, cute ass little dick Miles, we'll cut it out. We'll cut it out. But Miles fumbled the box, bro Does Hannah check?

Hannah, okay. All right. Hannah check? Hannah hooked him up with a story. Right at Jack's wife, Frida. Got the number. Got the number, everything. Didn't even message her. What are we going to do with this guy?

Nah, he's playing it cool. He's playing it cool. How many days ago was that? Did she have toenail polish? Is that what threw you off? No toenail polish? There's a lot more to that story, and it's all good. There's also a lot more to the Hannah Mark story. Hannah didn't approach Mark in the library.

Stop trying to put up Mark right now. We talking to you. Oh, Hannah cut you out that story, man. Yeah, I said Hannah. You do this stuff. You got to complete. Hannah was like, acting like she found you. She discovered you. I'm not hard to find, bro like she found you.

She discovered you. Look at my forehead. I'm not hard to find, bro. I'm around. She said, I walked in the library like, I really like your videos, and I want to take it to the next level. Yeah. I was like, where do I sign? Let's go. Okay, but you?

Yeah, Hannah's been. But don't tell me about that, because we don't care about that. We hung up on that call. Misrepresenting stories is what I'm saying,. She's misrepresenting this story also. How'd you fumble the box? I didn't fumble the box. It's still in the bag. I know that girl and we met a few times after that.

Remember Miles and Miami couldn't get no pussy zero? No pussy zero. Comes to New York, they like these artsy, smart motherfucking dudes. You couldn't wait to come back to New York to his motherfuckers like fuck my He wants like a high-maintenance Latina chick, I don't think he wants this is when So fucking hard the other day, bro. It was actually beautiful. It's not shifty, bro. He's 19 years old, you know what I mean? He put on a

fresh little fit. It was looking good. He was feeling himself, bro. And he had a Vans shirt, right? He had a Vans shirt on, and it was matching and everything. He was feeling himself. And I like Vans. I fuck with Vans. And this is masterful. He goes like this. This is that passive-aggressive white shit that Akash always says white people do.

I didn't understand it until it. But he goes, he goes, hey, Shifty, you know what? Van's is a fucking amazing mall skate brand. Like, for like a month. Oh, son. Son. What? Called him Zoomy, son.

Son. Why are we doing Zoomy, bro? I'm going to say it. He's on everybody, though. He does that. When he can't get pussy, nobody can get pussy. No one's getting it for a long time, then. Evidently.

Evidently. Evidently. Why are you such a jealous man, yo? What's that about? Shifty was feeling himself, bro. Yeah. He was killing it. He was killing that Vans.

That's foul. Killing him with the Vans. What is that? What is that shit? I'm trying to elevate himself, bro. Yeah. He was killing it. He was killing that Vans. That's foul. Killing him with the Vans. What is that? What is that shit? I'm trying to elevate him, bro. He's not a Pac-12 kid. Damn. Damn.

Damn. Damn. I'm killing him again with the Vans. Damn. But why did you call it a mall skate brand, son? You know, Vans is iconic. Yeah. You know mall shit?

I don't even know mall. This motherfucker rocks Vans, too. I know. I like Vans. That's why I said that but why did you say him? Why you say mall because all is a diss. It's a mall. That's a kind of fire body Somebody but put mall near it. Yeah, and it's a media That's a great mall haircut That was fire.

Bro, that's a great mall haircut, bro. Any mall in front of anything? Which it shouldn't be, because there's nice places at the mall. Yeah, but you said it. Yeah, like what? What company's not in the mall? Cheesecake Factory? What do you mean? It's a great mall restaurant.

Yeah. It's a great mall restaurant. Yo, that is devious, son. That is fucking crazy. That's a piece of shit. You're a real piece of shit. I'm a bad guy, dude. Honestly.

Son, there's malls that got Rolex stores in them. I know, that's my point. That's a mall watch brand. I mean, if you get it from there, bro. Yeah, yeah. If you get it from there. You know he got your Rolex.

God dang. I ain't got no mall, son. You got me a mall watch, bro. God, you got me a mall watch. I got that shit at Rolex, son. Don't do that. I got that shit at Rolex. You got that shit at Tenasco.

I went through five different motherfucking stores to get that guy down. Nah, nah, dawg. I'll do that, dawg. You see what he's doing? You see what he's doing? You see what he's doing?

Yeah, he good at this shit. You're an evil motherfucker. It's a nice one, though. You are evil, bro. It's like good. You're evil, bro. This guy's a bad person. Word.

Yo, you need God, bro. He needs God. Without God, this is a bad man, bro. He needs God, yo. Without God, this is a bad man, bro. A lot of people would die with you. A lot of people would die with you if you didn't have God. If I didn't have God, what would I be? Mussolini, Hitler. Mussolini, Hitler.

Him. Nah, I got God, bro. This guy loves God. I believe in me. Buy my special. Buy my special. Buy my special. Please. Please, buy it.

Free speech. Free speech. Theinzsouls.com. I think we got to talk about that, right? Yeah, we got to talk about the most important thing. That was such a deadbeat right now. He's just getting drunk, shitting on everybody, getting them and walking out. I know.

Every half hour. That fucking sucks. Hey, we got to talk about now. He's just getting drunk, shitting on everybody, getting up and walking out. I know. Every half hour. That fucking sucks. Hey, we got to talk about that. And then just walk out. He made me got to go pee, too. Oh, shit. Is it pee break time? But when he comes back in here, are we going to talk about them pants, bro, that Al got?

Yo, Al got pants like he dances like this. What is this shit right here? Raving? Rave. Oh, yeah, raving. Rave. Oh, fuck, raving. Rave. Oh, fuck. I thought that was going to be better.

Okay, I got a piece. Can we break for one second and piss and then get it popping? Video games. I think the gameplay is more important than the equity in the brand. So, for example, like Americans didn't give a fuck about soccer, but we became obsessed with FIFA. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Same thing happened with hockey games.

Like, I didn't give a fuck about hockey. But the games were lit. The gameplay was so dope that, like, I was invested in it. Yeah. And I think that's probably, like, Mario Kart a little bit. But that's an interesting thing. Like, you develop a game around this brand that's an interesting thing. You develop a game around this brand

that's bigger than the game. But if the game is lit, you don't need to be coughing off this money to 007 and the James Bond Enterprise. Because even if James Bond wasn't there, if it was just called Zero Dark Thirty or some other shit. But I think you need the hook.

So the hook gets us in. It's like a brand sponsor. Pokemon was a car game for a mad long time. I feel like it didn't pop until it was a video. But then what's the one that these kids play now

that they're killing each other they fly off the helicopter? Fortnite. That had no hook. And it fucking demolished. But it was free though. Yeah, that was like the first one that went free.

I mean, games are free. No, no, no. You pay money for it. Fortnite is a free game. Like in the App Store, you download a free game. You download it on your console or on your Xbox for free. Which is smart because make money through the other things. And then they make crazy money

off skins and other shit. Selling fake in-game products. Genius. I didn't know that. And then they had the whole thing with the loot boxes. Where you're basically gambling in the game and they cut it out. I heard about this. Yeah, the App Store's threatened to boxes where like you're basically gambling in the game and they like cut it out. I heard about this. Yeah, the app stores threatened to.

But it's like actual gambling where it's like, okay, I'm going to put in X amount of money and then there's a percentage I could win this other shit. Yeah.

But not money, right? Just loot or whatever? Yeah, I think it was just loot. But then you could trade loot and like sell it and gain money that way. I'm pretty sure. I don't know.

I don't really play Fortnite that much. Hey, Shifty. We talking gaming right now. This is your wheelhouse right now. You lured him back in. Shifty need to be in her game. When did Pokemon pop off? Was it card game, cartoon, or video game?

Pokemon was big in Japan, came here, and then, yeah, it was like card game was big here, and then the anime came out at the same time. Pokemon is a great, like, mall video game. What is that? The anime came out at the same time. Pokemon is a great, like, mall video game. Like, yo. What it is, though?

Like. You didn't hear us tell that whole story? Oh. Yeah. That mall shit, bro. That shit really just. What did that make you feel? Like, when Mark just shit all over the outfit that you meticulously put together. You were looking fly.

Yo, mall is cool, bro. Like, stop, bro. Mall is cool. Stop. Hey, yay. Can we get married in the mall? Like, Like, stop. That's cool. Hey, can we get married in the mall? Like, it's cool.

It's cool, bro. Like you said in Kanye's song, it's cool. What, bro? It's cool. Nothing wrong with the mall. Where do we go surfing? The mall?

Yo, son. Yo, son. So Mike is good. There you go. Mike is good, bro. You can tell yo. Mike is good. There you go. Mike is good, bro. Mike is good, bro.

I just want to show up his pants. Let's go. I've been waiting for the opportunity to show up his pants. He didn't even walk out that way.

He walked right to the center camera. Am I in? He posed. We're not even back yet. We're back. We're back, bro.

We're talking about Shifty, bro, and how he chipped away at his fucking self-esteem, dawg. What do you mean?

I didn't hear him. I just heard you guys talking stupid about video games. Thank you. No! Yeah, he came in for the video games. We're talking about the Vans shirt you were wearing. Remember when Mark shit all over you, he called you a mall, as a mall skate brand? It's fine, I just ghosted him for like a week.

I didn't talk to him. Damn! Yo, get in there, Shifty! Get in there! Get in there! That's not a comeback. Talk about what a wannabe bitch mark is. Damn! Yo, get in there, Chifty! Get in there! Get in there! That's not a comeback. Talk about what a lonely bitch Mark is. That means he got in his feelings and he's like,

oh, I'm not talking to you for a week. Were you in your feelings? No, I'm just not a professional comedian. I can't out-talk him. Well, he's not a professional. He's more like a ball comedian. Yeah. Oh! Wait, wait, wait. Let's go. Sit the fuck down, yo! That was good

With the With the new, new belt, no big deal. Big dick print. Big dick print. Hold on, guys. That was crazy. Yo, Miles, bro. Damn. Damn, bro.

Damn, Daniel. Hold on a second. You say what was wrong. He stopped moving the fucking thing. That wasn't me. That was Al. That was Daniel. You heard that. You heard that. That was a second. You said it wrong. Stop moving the fucking couch. That wasn't me. That was Al. That was you. That was Daniel.

You heard that. You heard that. That was a set. Al, move the fucking couch. Nah. You moved the fucking couch, bro. Stick your ass down. Move the whole shit.

You're not even heavy no more, bro. You're a light boy. That was because I went on vacation slimmed down. You light, bro. How do you lose weight on vacation? I don't know. I tried. My girl was shooting me from the titties up for the last five days of the goddamn vacation.

I did that shit. I did that shit. Bro, and once she's like, suck in. There's a video where I'm literally sucking in. My girl had to say that. I took a video on a mountain with my shirt open, and she was like, button it. I was like, damn. Yo, why are you so honest?

Where was this honesty in the beginning when you tricked me? What was this honesty in the beginning when you made me fall deeply in love with you? Now I'm getting this mall brand love. Yo, come on. Shifty, don't ever let him talk about your clothing like that again. Nah, bro. You're a high value man. Shoot back, bro.

I don't have anything to say I'm not gonna out talk him I can't out talk him No no no Nah you can't You just gotta shoot Even if it sounds dumb Just make up a word Yeah

Yo for real Nah don't listen to Miles He'll have you saying the N word Real quick Call him that word That we were working on Remember the Yeah yeah yeah

In the mirror Like yeah that was too hard That was too hard Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah coming out. Oh! 7-17. The 17. The Trouble is back! Trouble, get over here. Oh, we got Dove. We got Chifty. We got a new special coming out. Theandrewsouls.com.

Do you know what I'm saying? The Trouble's officially back. Thank you so much. Big neck. What? I'm trying to get the whole neck shit off me, so I'm just throwing it out.

Are you saying that his neck is big? Yeah. Does it look like his ears come out his neck? You caught a stray He doesn't a thick neck You just did right there shit Oh, shit, bro. Oh, wow. Are you drinking hummus right now? Jesus.

That shit is good. I'm talking to you, bro. Look how happy you are. Come on. Yo, Shubh is just sitting there hoping he'll get no shot. His knees are together, guys. He's on a Vespa. It's okay, Shu.

Yo, Dub about to fight somebody. Come on, Dub. Give me a chair. How long until Dub kicks Shu about his seat? Oh, seconds. Five minutes? You think you're good? Everything's good?

Dub's at peace. He's been in the sun all day. I know. He look all tan and good and shit. They were hating on that picture I sent you. Yeah, we all dressed up like our vacation. Yeah. You know I dress like this anyway in Spain still.

Oh yeah, you were in Spain. He was in Majorca. He went to... Majorca. It's pronounced Majorca, bro. Don't say it like that, dude. It's Majorca, bro. He was in Majorca. That's how Latinos say it. He had a girl with him. Remember he sent a little picture, a little video? I love when Dove tries to show up and he got a girl with him.

Can we play the video? But then also Dove told me immediately after that he's like, I think I could have done just a boys trip, bro. He said he nutted. He was like, what is wrong with me? What is wrong? Why am I looking right under a skirt? It's not a skirt. He's being disrespectful to my culture. What are you talking

about? What are you talking about? What are you talking about? You don't like looking up skirts. Are you kidding me? You can see his pecker. Can you see his pecker? He's being disrespectful to my culture. That's you and David, dog. These two have a special relationship. Do you think it's an homage? I think it's an homage.

I don't know, bro. It's my culture. It's just as much as yours. No, fuck you and don't fucking say that. It is. It's more his, bro. I'm American, but it's also part of my culture and you're fucking insulting it. I don't do that shit to you. Assaulting it?

I don't jump through no fucking hoops in a pool and fucking... Yo, yo, yo. You're saying I'm harpoodle? I'm saying you're a fucking beluga, bro. That's what I'm saying.

You know what I'm saying? I'm a beluga. Who comes in and jump through hoops? Nah, dolphin. You dolphin. You're a dolphin-ass nigga, bro a cool guy. Who comes in and jump through hoops? Nah, dolphin. You dolphin. You're not dolphin. You're a dolphin ass nigga, bro. You really are.

Thank you, bro. You really are. That's a compliment, bro. Come on, hit him with a little fist, boy. Hit him with a little fist, boy. One time, bro. Yeah, I'm a little first boy. For cultural purposes, bro.

You a mall dolphin, bro. You a porpoise, bro. You ain't even a dolphin. I'm not even Sea World. I'm Sea Land, bro. Yo, Sea Land, man. All right,'s here's dove. Okay, look at double Happy is Good that shirt look good. He's handsome hair looks. He knows he looks good way when he sent us anything

He knows you know Like can't you be good look Look at that. That nose, though. It's nose. Little cutie. Girl. Ow. Yeah. He said. Ooh. Yeah.

I got bricky. I got brick. My dick got harder. Oh, hey, me tartan dove. Yo. Me tartan. Don't. Yo. Fucking mint tartan. Don't insult my culture, bro. This is my family clan, Dove.

This guy's so insulting to my culture, guys. What do you mean? You guys are going along with it. Nah, you mad? That's his culture, bro. Why are you desecrating the flag right now? Put it on your... I put it on my back.

I put the country on my back. Your arms also. Say again? Yeah, it's all over you. Yeah, it's all over me. Because I the country on my back. Your arms also. Yeah, it's all over you. Yeah, it's all over me because I'm holding it down. Desecrating. What are you talking about desecrating? I go to any country. Take what I want.

Is that what we do? No. What are we celebrating today? What are we celebrating today? We got independence from the British. Oh, yeah? Yeah, something that our people struggle with a little bit. This guy is taking shots at you with a little bit Taking shots at you

Because you're a mall country Due to this motherfucker don't point that thing I'll point this thing at you in a second. Bang, bang. Hey, hey, hey, hey. I'll put some butter on this baguette. You can suck it down, you French motherfucker. We'll go then. Take it out.

I'm going to take it out. Hey, bring that video up one more time before I take it out. I got to get this shit ready. You just snuck a Diet Coke back there, you Florida motherfucker, bro. I'm just drinking pop. You're drinking soda pop? You're drinking soda pop, Miles? I don't want to talk about it. Wait, what?

What you got? Nothing. You be just like, oh, you caught something. Let's go on it. I know. Let's go on it. You got something on it, bro. Now I'm interested. What's his soda pop about?

If it was Mark who made fun of him, I think we would have heard that joke. Motherfucker. You missed a good joke that Miles had on Mark. Oh, yeah. It was far. I got my first one of the year. Probably last one, too, but I got it in. I thought right there you were going to say, shut up.

But you didn't. To whom? To him. Why? Why would he do that? Shut up, Dove. What's your deal, yo? Shut the fuck up, bro. What is he trying to whom to him why shut up what is he trying to do bro this guy's crazy

over here listen we're all back the gang is officially all back so let's do a little bravo to us we made it

through a vacation ow ow come on bro just get with it get with it what are you independent about?

Yeah, go. Go. What are you? Thanksgiving dinner. Wouldn't matter what the holiday is. Go on, though. Christmas. What are you Christian about?

What did you die for someone's Christmas about today, guys? Memorial Day. What do you think it is? Okay. No, what are you independent about? Comedy. Comedy. Content. I do you think it is? Okay. No, what are you independent about? Comedy. Comedy. And content.

I think you should answer this question to be honest with you. Well, I was, you know, I was doing a little segue. You know what I mean? We got a thing of shit. Big party. I was just rolling.

It's just words swirling, bro. It's just words swirling, bro. Now, obviously, i hope everybody listening right now knows that we uh just dropped the first like promos for the the special infamous coming out boom and uh yeah and uh everybody here in this room played a major part in that so i'm just super grateful for everybody here in this room and obviously everybody that has been so supportive online and going out there and pre-ordering it yo go pre-order it man go pre-order it uh when does it drop it drops the 17th july 17th yeah as will army light this thing the fuck up please because this is an absolute

game changer if we can do this you know obviously you guys heard the story uh we just did not want to compromise material and um they just did not want to compromise material, and they just did not want to compromise their businesses. It was like entire bits. Yeah, we don't blame them. I mean, there was multiple bits, like multiple even lines and other bits. And, like, I get that. I understand. I have empathy for people who are in that business, right, because they're not creating the content, right?

They're making sure that their business is successful, right? So, like, I'm not angry necessarily that they're protecting themselves. And themselves and to be fair like the person that sat the streamer was on my side but everybody got a boss yeah and a streamer is bigger than any one project exactly because you got to deal with your whole audience yes you know like when you have a youtube channel you're putting out your content on that channel and you can curate what that audience is into and the people don't like it just don't watch it but if you're one of these streamers, you've got to deal with fucking kids shows to adult shows, just absolutely everything.

So yeah, but they didn't really want to, you know, they want us to make some cuts and we're like, listen, you know, I've had enough of that. What's the point? What's the point of being independent? What's the point of doing this shit? What's the point of creating your own stuff? We're going to write the jokes. We're going to edit it. We're going to put it all out and we have the opportunity to do it we go in

front of audiences and do this all the fucking time we know what's funny and what isn't we know where the fucking line is you know people like it you know it works the the the fucking audience is the one that gives me the notes yes you know what i mean like i'm on stage if the joke's bombing i know it's not good yeah the joke is killing i know it's good. And we're in front of thousands of fucking people. Literally hundreds of thousands if you look over the course of the tour. We know what the people can take and what they can't take. I don't know. I just wanted to trust that relationship I have with them.

You see a lot of people shitting on comedy that's coming out from these streamers. shitting on comedy that's coming out from these streamers. And it's like, I built my career, in the beginning I started it by doing comedy that they would never allow on these companies or these networks. Comedy Central would never fucking allow it to be on there. And it was very successful.

And I assume it was very successful because people were like, oh shit, this is the real. This guy's being authentic. This guy's being real. He's being truly funny. This is kind of how I like to bust balls with my friends. These are the ideas how I like to bust balls with my friends. These are the ideas that I like to see made fun of. And for me to sacrifice that when I finally got to this point where we put all this work into making this fucking special and something we're all, I believe, very proud of. I can't speak for you guys, but I think that we're all very proud of this fucking piece.

And to be at that point and then go i'm just gonna water it down so it can be acceptable it's like why we work so hard yeah why we fucking put all this work in what's the point of it yeah why we sacrifice so much why we away every fucking weekend to just put something out there we're like oh well it would have been nicer if i was able to say this or this joke would have been funnier if i was able to say that so can you say specifically like what things are jokes michael jackson joke that they were like there's no way there's a another like serial killer i love that bit thank you man i love that bit and they were like there's there's parts of that they're like there's no way and then just

other like specific lines in it and um and the thing about like you know people who've obviously seen the live tour they've when i do bit, it's like a piece, right? So it's like, it can be five minutes, it can be 10 minutes, but it's like a chunk that has layers and it takes months and years to build these out. I know that sounds crazy because a lot of times you'll see the crowd work stuff and I'm just doing it in the moment. But like to put together the abortion clip that I dropped, like that took years to put together. Right. But like to put together the abortion clip that I dropped, like that took years to put together. Right. And it's just like.

I guess what I'm trying to say is like to just lop that off or change it, it's that that that would be very difficult. Yeah. You know, very, very fucking difficult. So I want to maintain the integrity of the piece. And that took, you us buying it buying it back basically long story short took us buying it back and then and now we're delivering it right to you guys and i think the cool thing about this is that if this works and again this is a gamble who knows if it works you guys decide if it fucking works if you guys support it asshole army i hope you guys do but if it works and comics find out that they can make more money doing this than doing traditional network specials, they'll never be a note again on comedy. And then what will happen is the networks will go, oh shit, we can't offer them the money because they can make their own money.

So we have to let them do whatever the fuck they want on this, on, on the specials. And that's the thing with the streamers right now that people aren't saying, but I think everybody's kind of realizing is that like, it's not giving you the people that it used to give you. Yeah. Back in the day,

you go on a fucking streamer, you become a superstar. Yeah. It's not really making superstars no more, but they could still pay you crazy money. Yeah. Yeah. Now all of a sudden superstars no more. But they could still pay you crazy money. Now all of a sudden the money's drying up. Right?

Now the money ain't what it used to be. The stock prices are down for everybody. It's a tricky world out there. And they don't have as much money to go throw around. So if you can't offer the people compared to a YouTube and you can't offer the people compared to a YouTube, and you can't offer the money,

what's the point? And you're censoring on top of that? There's no people, no money, and it's censorship? Can't do it. There has to be another way. I don't know if this is the way. I fucking hope this is the way.

It would make me so happy, not only selfishlyly that we could do well with this but also to like create pure authentic comedy like the exact way you want to do it that is that would be really cool that would be really fucking special and i'd be very proud of that i'd be very yeah i'd be very fucking real quick. I'd be very, yeah, I'd be very fucking proud. And real quick, walk people through how to do it, what's the deal. So like go to theanderschultz.com.

Oh yeah, just go to the website and then there's a click and it'll take you to Moment House. And shout out to Moment House. Moment House is a company that we're working with and also they've done other versions of like live shows.

So you'll be able to watch the special. It'll be just there for two weeks and then we're going to email everybody who orders a special a private link of it, so you'll have it forever. So when you get it, you just get it forever. We're also talking to Mom House. We might just keep it up there in perpetuity,

so you can have that or the link. I know it says the two weeks. Maybe that's confusing, but you'll just have this special forever. Yeah, I'm just fucking stoked. I'm stoked we got to do it the way we got to do it, and I fucking hope it works. I'm so proud of you, Doug. Thank you, man. I'm proud we got to do it the way we got to do it. And I fucking hope it works. I'm so proud of you, Doug.

Thank you, man. I'm proud of you guys and the amount of work that went into this. You know, like Mark, Alex, Shifty, like the fucking hours of editing that we put into this. Dove, like Vala, you probably did something. But like, you know what I mean? Like, yeah, we just put a lot of fucking work into it. I don't even like talking about that because we should put work into it. I don't want you to feel bad for us.

Like we love doing this and that's what it is. And, but, uh, what I'm most proud of is like, it is the exact special that we want to put out from the fucking sound to the color, to the jokes,

to everything. This is what we want to put out. And if this is a new way where we can do this and motherfuckers can make more money than they go with the streamers, like, why would you? And then it's yours. You do whatever you want with it.

It's not a network going, well, you can't put that clip on YouTube. And you're like, well, it would be great for people to see it. No, now it's yours. You do whatever you want. You get people to see it

in the way that you feel. Yeah, if you're working with a streamer, do they prevent how much you can put on YouTube? Of course. Of course. This many minutes. You're like,

but what if this joke could really do well and get people to watch my special? We don't care. And you kind of don't know what joke is going to pop and what isn't,

especially with like TikTok. You don't know what's going to hit the algorithm or what isn't. So if I'm limited to 10% of my material, it's like, well, fuck, dude. One of those other 90%

could have been exposed. So many people could fuck with me and fuck with this style of comedy and they're just not going to know. Yeah. I'm just tired of the fucking censorship with joke shit. Like and they're just not going to know. Yeah. I'm just tired of the fucking censorship

with joke shit. Like, it's just so stupid. Like, it's one thing if you're just winging it. It's another thing if you're on a tour in front of lots of fucking people and these jokes are working every single time. Yeah. People don't enjoy bombing with offensive jokes

over and over and over. It's not a thing. I promise you, if you did it once, you wouldn't do it again. You would try your hardest at least to't do it again you would try your hardest at least to never do it again at the end of the day we want the feedback we want the reward yes I want to do well I'm needy

we're insecure people that's why we do this we don't want them to offend you and you hate us we want you to love us on our terms a little bit we're filming the audience so we are actually capturing their immediate reaction and you're like the biggest YouTube guy, though. So is there a reason you didn't just put it?

Some people were DMing me that. Why wouldn't you just put it straight on YouTube? I need to make money. That's the motherfucking reason, because it costs a lot of goddamn money. Are you allowed to say that? Yeah, to at least break even. To break even? Yeah, that's the other thing.

It's like, motherfuckers, there ain't no cash grab here. It's let's make it back. But to me, Iuckers, there ain't no cash grab here. It's let's make it back. And that's, but to me, I don't know. I think it was worth it. How good does it feel to own your shit? Yeah, it feels fucking great. It feels great to put it out when we think it's done. Yes.

That's another thing. It's like you're on a different timeline. Own your shit. I think we got used to creating our things and when it's ready, putting them out. You know what I mean? But when you're working with corporations, they have every right to want what they want. And they have every right. That is how they also make money.

That's their business. That's how they feed their families. I completely respect that. But when you create something that's so fucking personal to you, and I'm sure you guys feel this as well because this is your creation too so it's like you're like not that it could be better yeah it could be this i remember that with the netflix thing which was great but like it was like oh i wish we could have one more day give us more time no we have to because the subtitling and the whatever and the international release like it was even with like bring back a poo like like you need an extra like

we took an extra two days and everything was it changed everything imagine you were on a deadline with the network that was like no it has to come out today it would be 15-20% worse and I empathize with them

two less days because they need to do it at certain basketball games need to be played like the finals need to be you're injured so we sold

30,000 tickets for motherfuckers to come on this day at this time that's it you can't disappoint these 30,000 that's it that's what it on this day at this time. That's it. You can't disappoint these 30,000. That's it.

That's what it is. So I get that. I'm not angry at that. But once you feel freedom, once you feel like creating something and putting it out the way you want to put it out, it's hard to go back. It's like just the idea of freedom in general. Like once that popped up, whoever the fuck said it, I don't know if it was a French dude, I don't know who the fuck was like, yeah, you should be able to be free to do whatever you want. Like, once you put

that in motherfuckers' heads, it's hard to go back. Like, it is hard. Like, I don't know, like, oh, this needs one more day. I want to change this one little thing, and then you see it and you're like, I'm so proud of it. And, yeah, I just want to do the jokes I want to do. And I

are, you know, everything that we've been working towards is finding a way to put out the content that you want to put it out, put it on your own terms and give it directly to the people. This is the first time I've ever sold fucking comedy. I don't know how that is going to go. For five years, I've just given away specials and clips. I'm hoping that people appreciate that. And I'm hoping that people will want to support me in this. And yeah, I hope you guys want to do that. I'll say something also on the buy it back so people know another technical side. It's like you see people releasing specials on YouTube and we film every show that you do. We bring our cameras, the internal crew.

This was done Hollywood style. Remember when this was done hollywood style remember when this was supposed to be with a streamer this is eight professional cameras a crew of 50 production designers like i think people need to understand what they're going to be seeing is not what someone could have just like popped up in the club i think what dove is saying i think you made a good point which is like to do a like a professional streamer level special in terms of production is very expensive. You're talking about hundreds of thousands of dollars. Yeah.

Right. So it's like, while we can film our shows every single weekend, it's a different quality. It just is a different quality from the intro. If any, whoever orders it, you will see from the intro,

you'll be like, Oh, this shit is different. But like set design and all that. Yeah. It's like, and there's so many different moving parts from like audio to video like there's all these different things so it's like we filmed four shows you know what i mean like we paid our out of our

own pocket for the second day just because we want every single moment and the you know this to be perfect etc so it's like in order i think what you're pointing out is like in order to create this level of production, eventually you're going to need to put something behind a paywall. Because, and I love YouTube. YouTube is awesome. The YouTube specials are great. But it doesn't generate enough revenue to do this level of production. It is awesome for the comedy club, and I love those, and I still love these moments and putting out clips, etc. But if you're doing what this is,

you're going to have to find somewhere to recruit. Just the cameras and they had eight of them? I've never seen no shit like that in my life. I was like, what? It's incredible. And I'm so proud of you, man. I'm glad you brought it back. That's how we build this whole thing, is that people

fuck with us. So I got faith that it'll work out. I think they'll rock with it and I think we're going to give them something that they will feel very glad that they supported. That is, yeah, ultimately you guys enjoying it, having a good night and like putting out, listen, I know it's weird for a fucking network to

see a white guy on stage making fun of every different group of people. Like that is terrifying. You don't think that's terrifying for some executive to see a white dude on stage and there's fucking black dudes, Muslim women, you know what I mean? Like a agent,

like every different group is there. That's you're in a board meeting going, fuck. Yeah. This violates every policy. Let's not punch down i think we got that in one call we'd like to avoid punching down and i'm like guys you have the wrong guy i punched down if that's like like by your definition i don't consider it down because

i don't know you these people is down but like they which is like the weird bigoted thing like why is it yeah i've said that before. You automatically put yourself above them. That's kind of odd that the white people making the decision see it as down. Yeah. You know what I mean? Like if you grew up the way we grew up, that's how you know somebody's your friend. Yeah. You're bus and bull. 100%. I can see why

they're fucking terrified and this board who is not as committed to comedy purity maybe as we are, is really committed to, you know, making sure their brand doesn't get backlash. Yeah.

I don't give a fuck about the backlash. We know it's funny. Yeah. So I'm proud of what we did. I believe in what we did and I hope it's something, if we can make it successful and that's all to me on you guys, that is something that other comics replicate and put out the exact fucking projects they want to put out for their people. It's not for all comics.

It is, in my opinion, it's for people who have built up a community and built up people who fuck with you. And, like, you know, if you have that, I think that this could work. That is our gamble. We believe that it can. So go fucking support it. You can buy it on my website. And yeah, if you have any questions,

just fucking ask me. We're here. Should people watch it right when it comes out? Oh yeah, that's what I wanted to be. I want it to be pay-per-view. I want it to be like a fight.

Yeah. You know, that's why we call it pay-per-view. You'll have it forever, but like I want, I want all of us watching it together when it comes out and

fucking tweeting about it together and talking shit and we're doing after parties the first time oh that's another thing yeah that's right i gotta remember more shit that we got so yeah so uh what we're gonna do is if you there's also a like a an after party for it that you can get on the website as well and it's's like an add-on. And we're going to be basically doing like a live pod afterwards. So we'll live stream afterwards. All of us will be here. We're going to talk some shit. And you guys can make fun of me.

And we can tell little details about the special that people don't realize that are quite funny. And the harrowing tales to get here. So go check that out. Join us for that as well. I think that's going to be fun. There's some new fashion merch on there. Also, we got the latest season of fashion and we got a couple tour shirts on there if you missed out on the tour.

You go through the website, you get all that. You get the new fashion, which is fucking fire and that on. Just all that kind of stuff. I feel like I'm selling you guys on it. I don't want to sell you on it. I genuinely just'm very fucking proud of it and i would love your if you guys support it and i really think that we could change something fundamentally and not just in comedy but just in everything like normally i would sell them on it yeah but i don't think i'd be like i'll do it for

you but i really don't think you need to i really think it i don't know motherfuckers know what it is motherfuckers know who you are I saw the work you put into it. I see the fucking obsessiveness you put into it. It's inspiring to watch, and I just think, yeah, I don't even need to be the guy. It's like, nah, I sell it. It sells itself, I think. Thank you. Thank you.

Yeah. I just, I really want people to watch it. And I really want it to be successful, like, selfishly. I love that. I like the, I want to go, I told you so, motherfucker. Yeah. I want to send the text. I want to send I want to go, I told you so, motherfucker. I want to send the text. I want to send the text to the motherfucker.

Talk that shit, man. That was like, yo, these can't be here. Yes, they can. And this is what the fucking people want. I want to send that. I want to pop that fucking Portnoy champagne, bro. Like, I want that. That drives me.

Wait, what's the text, though? What's it going to be? Oh, I already got locked in. Is that a picture of me on the roof? Because you can use that if you want. You can have that picture. I can't tell you. I'll share it if it happens.

Okay. You know what I mean? I'll share it when it happens. I'll share it when it happens. That fucking, that fuck you, that knowing we're right, we on the right side and calm and that people actually want comedy and all this bullshit that people responding to fucking 10 people on twitter is nonsense like it's like i don't know it's cool to have like real people make a voice and real people go no this is actually what we want and we're gonna fucking support it and this is how we

yeah this is how we change content man and i think we've done a good job of that already like showcasing there's other opportunities for it. You know? So, but yeah, go rock with it. That's it. We won't go anymore on it.

If you guys have any questions, fucking go. Shout out to Louie too, though. Oh, yeah. Louie's the first guy to do this, man, to put it on his website and like have his people go support him.

And even when he was going through all his fuck shit, still have them come out and support it. And like, yeah, I mean, he fucking made that possible man he's the originator with that so I'm hoping that we can

you know do that and and replicate that success man so shouts to Louie and go check out Louie's as well man this is just let's fucking go check out Andrew Schultz theandreshultz the17th theanderschultz.com

my man thank you guys Alex got a pee yeah again? he just went pee he been drinking bro oh jeez

also I want to do something I want to bring 10 people from around the world to New York City to watch the special before anyone else

I love that that's fine that's sick that's sick there we go no I think that'll be dope fine. That's sick. There we go. No, I think that'll be dope. There'll be like a pre-screening. We had 10 people who have pre-ordered it.

You got to pre-order it, by the way. Okay? We have all your emails, so we'll reach out to you. Go pre-order it right now. But we bring 10 people out. We all watch it with them. We'll do it right here in the fucking studio. Yeah, that's kind of fire.

Right, though? Like, that is kind of fire. That's fire. You know what I'm saying? I can't afford dinner just yet, but maybe you guys can help me out. We'll do a nice little dinner. Stop it. Yo, I still got a couple bucks left, bro.

You cannot pull up in a Porsche. Should we do a GoFundMe for you? I'm all right. I'm okay. He's driving a Porsche and he's like, yo, can we all chip in? Fuck that. Are you crazy? I'll be all right.

But that would be dope. I think we get 10 people. Driving a Porsche. Okay. Okay. Okay. Chill. It's like a mobile.

It's not a Kia. It's not a Kia, bro. Notice he couldn't sell that. You know what I mean? What you getting back for that? Anyway. Look, listen. This is a couple hundred dollars. I can't enjoy, bro.

I just can't enjoy, bro. You got your wife's car. Yo, come on. No, my wife got my mom's car, okay? Whatever. Thank you. Your dad's wife's car. All right, so look.

I want people to come the fuck out 10 people Ideally from Israel Women Yeah No no no Why not? We don't want to have women here

Nah it's not going to be a fucking dating situation with Dove We can double up We can double up Oh so we should also make it a dating thing Yeah I see I see. Dove might also date dudes. Exactly.

You're also dudes. You can also do that. Keep the ratio nice. Israeli. Exactly. I want to control cost. That's too expensive of a flight. We're going to cap. Ten people. You watch it in here with us pre-screening. Then we grab some food or some shit.

This is going to be dope. You got to pre-order it, but we got you and this is going to be fire. Thank you guys so much for supporting everybody who already bought it. Thank you so fucking much. Everybody posted on their story. Everybody posted on their feed. Everybody's been sharing it like crazy. Like, thank you so much.

It means the fucking world to me. And I know it means a lot to us. We put a lot of time into it. So thank you so much. And yeah, this was a, this is a big fucking gamble and we hope it pays off. And I got a good feeling. Thank you.