Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh - Andrew Schulz Special Made THIS Much Money

Episode Date: July 21, 2022

00:00 - Infamous - Schulz made ??? 21:09 - Elon Musk really is pale Mr Incredible 38:25 - AOC loves getting arrested 41:10 - America invented faithfulness 47:35 - AOC harassed, Megyn Kelly thought it was a-ok 59:12 -Skittles are bad for your health 1:11:40 - Vabbing trend 1:17:55 - Desus and Mero breakup - importance of friendship 1:22:21 - LA v NYC - is fame enough? 1:33:42 - Jak Knight Tribute

Holy shit, The Rock just reposted. My boy changed comedy twice. Andrew Schultz is saving comedy. Netflix is done. They're not done. Done. What are you talking about? They reach out to you and they're like, we want you to cut a couple jokes out.

The fucking audience is the one that gives me the notes. What's up, people? That's the fun thing. You got to do something crazy. You got to come on our back. That's why they call them wetbacks. Now, guys. Guys.

Everybody. Everybody. We're just getting started, guys. We're just getting started, okay? Man, I had a clever-ass way that I was going to say how much money the special made, and I already did that show on Instagram. I feel like a fucking fraud. Come on, dude.

Nah, I feel like a fraud. Do you want me to do my best acting? Why don't you save the good stuff for us? Why do you always give it to Instagram? Because I was too excited. Come on. Do you know what I mean? Okay, should I try to be a good actor?

Yeah, do it, dog. Let me see if I can pull it off. Hey, you making money off comedy? Now his movie's next. That's facts. Okay, ready? Here it is. What's up, guys?

You know, a lot of you have been reaching out. Come on, son. Let me get into character. Come on. All right, come on. Let me be serious. Hey, guys. What?

You ain't even trying. He threw that one. He threw that one. I'll get this one good. What is your motivation in this scene? I'll get this one good. What is it? Hey, guys.

Are you in Super Bowl? I like this one. I like this one. I like this one. Let me do your motivation in this scene? I'll get this one good. What is it? I don't understand. Hey, guys. Are you in Superville? I like this one. Let me do this, like, actually. Ready? Okay. Hey, guys. I like it. I like it. I like it. I'm not... I didn't even start it.

What's up, guys? Listen, a lot of you guys have been reaching out to see how I did With the special You know we just got The numbers back And a lot of you Have been asking

You know if I made My money back And I did not I made three times My money back I'm clapping for the statistic And the acting Is that good?

Yo I liked it bro There we go I liked it yo I thought that was pretty. Is that good? Yo, I liked it, bro. There we go. I liked it, yo. I thought that was pretty good. That was good. Anyway, listen, for everybody asking, I do appreciate you all reaching out, and we did.

We made three times the fucking money we spent on it, which is crazy, and it's still available for another, I guess, 10 days. So if you guys haven't gotten it just yet, you missed it. For 10 more days, available at theandrewschultz.com, so go buy that shit and tell your friends

and if you're not sure just search Andrew Schultz on Twitter and watch the feedback it's fucking overwhelmingly positive it's crazy

that was cool that was really cool and it was cool that I know we've spoken about this before but like it was cool that we made an event

and everybody we had literally hundreds of thousands of people watching it at the same time. Yeah. And that was fucking fire and it was great to see

the reaction at the same time. It literally felt like watching TV 10 years ago. Yes. Like remember when Breaking Bad was on and everybody's reacting to Breaking Bad

or even early days of Guy Code. Yeah. Where it's like, you could see what people were reacting to. 100%. People reacting to

the exact joke, they're talking about it and it was just a fucking awesome moment and it's not like a special that just kind of gets lost on a streamer where you go, oh, eventually I'll get to that. Oh, eventually I'll watch. You know what I mean?

Like, I've been saying I'll eventually watch Gerard Carmichael's I'm Gay Again special for fucking literally for a month. I'm like, eventually I'm going to watch how he's gay again. And I just hadn't. No, because he's gay again. Son, I said this. Son. I know. Hey, yo, come on. Are we watching this again? No, because he's gay again. Son, I said this. No, I know, I know. Hey, yo, come on. Are we watching this again?

No, but it's, but. But slower. For white people now. Okay, okay. White people, I'm gay. I watched the first time gay for black people on Breakfast Club, but I also will watch

the white one. Okay, no, you left out his home movie special where he said he was bi to his sister or whatever the fuck. Did he come out three times? He came out three times, yo. You haven't even come out once. on bro yeah you gotta come on your special

can i try it again yeah guys i know a lot of y'all been reaching out to see if i suck dicks as well and uh we are getting divorced yeah but uh but no i'm fucking so stoked and i'm so goddamn grateful and you know i was saying this on on the the post but i really mean it like like i don't have a publicist right like what we do is we have uh a group of friends who have a unique set of skills no i feel like fucking liam neeson but like uh but like uh no we have a group of friends and we have a fucking army of people that support what we do and it's awesome that I can go on all these podcasts and they can literally lend

the platform and then there are famous fucking people like Rogan and Charlamagne and The Rock that will do it. Shout out to all of them that did that. Yeah, it was just awesome. It's a fucking great feeling. I was so proud of my brother, man. I was so fucking proud of you. Thank you, bro.

I've said this to you a couple times but I'm going to say it again. I have so proud of my brother, man. I was so fucking proud of you. Thank you, bro. And I've said this to you a couple times, but I'm going to say it again. I have seen this special four times at the taping. I watched it twice to give you notes, and I watched it a seventh time Sunday, and it still got genuine laughs out of me. And that, every time I laughed, I was like, wow, I have seen this seven times, and I'm still fucking laughing. And that's an accomplishment. And to what you said about making a moment, a comedy watch party, I've never done, and it was so fucking great. Yes. Like, we have fight night watch parties, but I don't really give a fuck about fight night.

Yeah, yeah. So, cool, I'll be there. We'll hang out. We'll have fun. But comedy, a bunch of people who love stand-up, who are watching somebody they're a fan of, all just sharing that moment was so fucking cool. Yeah. And I truly believe you changed comedy twice. Okay.

And I'm gonna say this and everybody's gonna think that I'm sucking your dick because you're my brother and that's only half true. I'm also not wrong. Sucking his dick because he's your brother?

Yeah, yeah. I'm into that incest shit. I'm the Ricky Martin of this podcast. He's sucking his dick because he's his brother. Live and love you to logo. That's the call forward.

Nah, you weren't the first guy to ever put clips on YouTube. Listen, in India, they were doing that. But in America, we had Hollywood and we're all playing this game. You did it. And then we all saw, oh, shit, this can get you everything you want. Instead of having to play the Hollywood game, let's just do this. And now you cannot scroll Instagram for five minutes without seeing 25 standup clips. That's you.

I hope what this did, and Louis put out his specials on his own. And now you cannot scroll Instagram for five minutes without seeing 25 stand-up clips. That's you. Yeah. I hope what this did, and Louis put out his specials on his own. Yeah. But I think what we thought was, I know I thought this, well, yeah, when you're doing fucking arenas, you can put out a special on your own. When you have your own TV show, you can put out a special on your own. You are proven. Theaters is huge, and you're doing theaters, and that's amazing, and you will do arenas. But I think we're looking at that like, oh, you don't have to be- One of the most famous people on the planet. Yeah people on earth for it to put out your own special you just have to have a

devoted group of people who really rock with you yes they rock with the type of content you put out yes yeah yeah yeah that that shit was and so i yeah i think i think you might change comedy twice bro it's hey listen i'm not gonna lie this shit is a lot of fucking work you guys know it it's it ain't this is not like putting out a youtube special yes it's not it is a lot of fucking work you guys know it it ain't this is not like putting out a youtube special yes it's not it is a lot of fucking work and i i get why there are companies that do this for a living because this shit ain't fun yeah now that being said it is incredibly gratifying i hope you guys also feel that way when it becomes successful and uh now and if there's any comics out there like like we've always done is you have have any questions, we fucking got you.

Holler at us. We'll tell you guys how to do it. And I'll be, like, very candid if I think you can do this successfully. Because there probably is a number of people or followers that will dictate how much support you'll actually get. But it was fucking cool. And I'm super stoked and I'm grateful and I'm fucking, yeah. I feel really, I sound so gay, but I feel really like full. Does that make sense?

It's kind of gay. Yeah, it's pretty gay. In both ways you look at it, it's a little gay. Yeah. Full though. No, maybe he just ate a lot of dick. Oh, yeah. So that also could be.

No, good, man. Feel that. You should enjoy this fucking moment. Take your lap. Yeah. And keep buying it. We still got moment. Take your lap. Yeah. And keep buying it. We still got time. That's right.

And it's yours forever when you get it, by the way. I just want to let you know. Or hit me up. I'll send you a link for 10 bucks. You know what I mean? Oh! I'm going to beat that. I'm going to beat that.

Why? Because Shouts of Motherfucking Bet Online is giving you a free $15 bet every single time. Damn it. If you buy the special, you get a free $15 bet at Bet Online. That's the best deal on the motherfucking planet. And? Get their money. Take their fucking money. Listen, I'm supposed to be partnering with them? Take their ass.

Take their, put it on crazy parlay, drain their fucking bank accounts, send that bitch over here. That's what I'm doing. Film the best. I'm doing the craziest parlay. Okay, what are you doing? I don't know. I'm thinking like 25, 30 teams. My goal is to figure out exactly how much you made and then place a bet

that would make me more money and hope it works out because nothing would drive you crazier than if I made more money off your special than you did. Oh, that would drive me fucking berserk.

Yeah, that'd be awesome. I'm going to match whatever bet you make. You have to put your bet on like the craziest thing that there's no way it could fucking happen. Yes.

Like a woman on a train in India not getting raped. What are the odds on that? I don't know why that's necessary. I don't know why that's necessary. What are the odds on that? How many rapists? There's double bet potential.

Rapes on a train. Samuel Jackson. It's just Samuel Jackson. If we're talking one, just one single rape, it's fine. But if there's a group of guys and one girl, the odds are in my favor. Indians have like 50 words for rape. Do you know that? In their culture.

Oh, you're making a call back to something that wasn't recorded. Miles was teaching us about things that we try to forget immediately after. And he was talking about how Eskimos know all. This is how racist Miles is. He's like, listen, Eskimos know 50 different types of whites. You know, I'm trying to get to that. I don't know that shit. So, Miles has a natural desire to know all the whites.

He's like bubblegum shrimp for white shit. Miles has gone through every type of white, bro. That was amazing. There's off-white, mixed white, Aryan white. It's my favorite. All of them.

But yeah, you were saying that they know all that. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. Anyway, thank you guys so much for supporting

and that, yeah, it's really awesome. Also, another thing, while we're talking about everybody here, the Fumbles McCreary, good old Fumbles McCreary, had a literal miles a million come to the watch party.

Do you remember the girl that came to the watch? Yes. Literal miles one million. I couldn't understand it. Can you tell us why you're not head over heels in love with this girl and you're lugging around fat chicks all over Brooklyn? I don't want fat chicks.

Yeah, you are, dude. And we are talking and hanging out and having a lot of fun. No, dude. You've been lugging fats around Brooklyn, dude. The guys tell me. That's untrue. No, they don't. Mark literally came to me.

He pulled me aside in my greenhouse. This is true. Greenroom. And he said, no, my greenhouse. Green's untrue. No, they don't. Mark literally came to me. He pulled me aside in my greenhouse. This is true. Greenroom. And he said, no, my greenhouse. Greenhouse, yeah. Yes.

And he said, he said to me, he goes, listen, Miles is dating. He's crushing it right now. He's doing this thing where he's lugging around

fat women. I didn't say lugging. Brooklyn, in Brooklyn. Yeah. What did he say? Schlepping them? Yeah. Dragging them? He's schleppingging. Brooklyn, in Brooklyn. Yeah. What did he say? Schlepping them? Yeah. I was thinking schlepping.

He's schlepping them. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And he thought that you were like, he actually thought you were being rude to them. He thought you were kind of like using them. He goes, he likes walking them up the stairs and they breathe heavy. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Is it a fetish? Maybe it's a fetish. What is the issue with that? You know, I don't know. I don't think I drag fat chicks, but I do... You can't drag them big bitches nowhere, can you? No, you can't. Not with them little sausage fingers.

I think it's like a workout. It's like a workout. I'm trying to get big. Mark eats a lot and lifts weight. I just lift them. I cut one thing out. I don't have to go to the gym anymore. Ah, that's a good point. He embraced it. He embraced it. He's trying to lean into it. But is this a real thing?

You have this beautiful girl. I'm not going to say her name, but we all know who she is. And I think that you should be serious. She's got great teeth. Good smile. Great teeth is huge. Clearly loves you. She's great.

And we hang out. Loves you. Yeah. She was swatting away Vala left and right. Most girls do. Vala was putting on this. Talk about his game. Talk about his game. Full court press. She'd be killing meatting away Vala left and right. Most girls do. Vala was putting on this. Talk about his game. Talk about his game.

Full court press. She be killing me. Yo, Vala was doing full court, like, I'm naughty press. He was doing the full court, I'm mischievous. Like, I'm telling you, dude, the second the ball was inbounded, and Vala was like, oh, what's up? Yo, Vala loved being naughty, yo. Dude, don't ask Vala a single innocent question. Don't ask, what'd you have to eat today

what do you mean was it hot today I was a little sweaty what is the strategy with that like I've never met a girl that's like yo I wanna fuck a mischievous guy Vala gets girls though that's the thing so it who's like, yo, I want to fuck a mischievous guy.

Father gets girls, though. That's the thing. It must work. The guy gets girls. You need to be more mischievous. Yeah, you need more hijinks. Have you tried that? I'm not asking Shifty no more fucking questions, dude.

I know. I know. It's a five-second pregnant pause that happens every time we ask him. Well, I don't have a microphone. What do you want me to do? That's a good point. You're worried about the production. Anyway, Mark, can we talk about some things besides everybody here getting laid and just the three of us married people not?

You know, it's so obvious we're in committed relationships and how much we're living through them. I know. Miles, fuck this girl. Chifty, let us see that for you. But for real, though. I had sex last night, though. I ain't gonna lie. Hey, G's up, yo. Let's go, boy. G's up. Let's go. That three X real, though. Yeah. I had sex last night, though. I ain't gonna lie. Hey, G's up, yo.

Let's go, boy. G's up. Let's go. That 3X sex, boy. Nah, I did that shit. That shit was fire. On your back or what's that? Say again.

Partially. And then? Partially on my back. And then what? That's partially on her back. Okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. What else?

What else? Maybe there was some side action involved. You know what I mean? I don't do that side shit. What else could there be? I don't know. What are y You know what I mean? I don't do that side shit. What else could there be? I don't know. What are y'all thinking, bro? That's crazy.

Damn. All right, well, you want to talk about sex, bro. You want to talk about Elon Musk's body? Oh, yeah. Yo, the beluga. Son, son. Bro. This is wild, dog.

The beluga. This is crazy. No, but this is fire, though. This is how you know he's working. Like, this is how I want my scientists to look yeah oh that's fair

yeah like if you're invested in Tesla and you see that you're like oh we going to Mars we guarantee going to Mars

if you see him looking like Jeff Bezos cause Jeff Bezos is brolic as fuck tan as fuck Jeff Bezos looks good but I know you're not working

I know that Amazon is in someone else's hands and that's fine but with Tesla we're invested in Elon yeah yeah yeah But I know you're not working. I know that Amazon is in someone else's hands. And that's fine. But with Tesla, we're invested in Elon. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And that motherfucker is working. Look at that thing right there.

Looks like the Ghostbusters logo. That shit is crazy, chug. That shit is fucking crazy. As long as he built like a deep breath. I was like, bro. You know what I want to say, but it's too niche. He looks like Krang. You remember Krang from the Ninja Turtles? No, no, I don't remember. That's like, bro. You know what I want to say, but it's too niche. He looks like Krang. You remember Krang from the Ninja Turtles? No, I don't remember. That's fucking the cartoon. That's what he looked like to me, but I knew nobody would get that.

It looked like he stung my wife in the Amalfi Coast. That motherfucker is crazy, right? Look how pale he is. Oh my God. But this is what you want. This is what you want from your lunatic CEOs. You want them to be that dedicated in the office, not out there, not enjoying themselves. I'm saying, though, fuck Mars, bro.

Go to Mercury. Get a little tan. Get a little sun. Why is it hotter over there in Mercury? Yeah, it's right by the sun. He needs that, yo. Get a little skin cancer for fuck's sake. You need to be so smart to get that joke you just said.

Elon Musk is dying laughing right now. He got that shit. Everybody knows it's the first planet. Everybody knows that. I'm a dumbass. Didn't know that. I had no fucking idea about it. Did you learn the planets in school yeah do you know them yep hit it other than mercury that's a wash mercury jupiter pluto uranus yep um completely

out of order this is wild the moon okay yeah we'll count it we'll count it. We'll count it. Earth. Yep. Moon ain't no count. Got them. Mars. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I said Saturn. Nope. No. Saturn.

Look at you. That's all the planets, right? You left out Venus. That's not a planet. Not anymore. No, that's... Your thing about Pluto is not a planet. Son, I don't know how...

Y'all making me feel like I'm some fucking dork. This is very basic shit. I don't know the planets. You know the planets. Stop it. I don't know if I got the planets. Stop playing dumb. I don't know if I got the planets.

Stop playing dumb to impress everybody. I don't know. That's how you win people over. Yeah, exactly. All right, what are we talking about, though? Because Elon, he's got his shirt off. Do you guys care? Do you have a hot take for this?

I mean, he just looks like a joint. I support him. I mean, he's honestly not that bad built, considering how hard this guy working, like you said, how much he worth. Yeah. He don't look that bad. Like, Bezos on all the steroids. This guy clearly not doing nothing for his health. He still looks like that. I think he gotta be

on something. He might even have a little, uh, what's that called? Lipo. Oh, you think he does that? Like a CoolSculpt, maybe? Yeah, maybe a little CoolSculpt. He does have the calves of a fat man. He got some good-ass calves on him. You usually get those from carrying around a lot of weight. Yeah, exactly.

So maybe he did get a little lipo, and that's why the calves are stacked and the stomach's not that big. But son, built like a deep breath is perfect. Yeah, right? That's a funny ass thing. You know, you got to be famous as a dude for people to comment on your body. Yeah, right? Like, that's a different level of fame, right? Yeah, that's true.

I also feel kind of bad for him, too. Like, you're out on your yacht and shit. Oh, yeah, what a poor son of a bitch. On his super yacht. You go on Twitter and the whole internet's ripping your body apart, and you're like, oh, this shit. No, no, no, I don't feel bad because he was talking all that shit about my boy. About Bill Gates.

My boy Billy. Yeah, our, yo. Billy Beats, our fan, no. I don't feel bad because he was talking all that shit about my boy. About Bill Gates. My boy, Billy. Yeah, our, yo. Billy Beats, our fan, guys. This motherfucker right here is built just like Bill. Yeah. Yeah, he might be built worse. Low key for the age discrepancy? He's built the opposite of Bill somehow.

What do you mean? Higher up top? That's true. Yeah, exactly. He got a little like Mr. Incredible. If him and Bill hugged. Insurance salesman, though. Not the superhero.

When he had the job, he was mad job yeah yeah even with the hair and everything but like how much money does it cost to have people not say pictures you on your yacht oh he wants these out there right he's trying to he's trying to get the story away from his dad who fucks his sister yeah yeah like wouldn't you rather people talking about i mean 100 his publicist is like all right elon what can we need to do he's like i have just fucking superman just rips his shirt open i don't know dude yeah i think yeah i think that they're just trying to create another storyline what is that kill a story with another story kill the story with another story that's a good point and this is killing the story we're not talking about it's shocking how little his father, having two kids with his daughter, has occupied the news time on whatever it is.

Like a week tops? If that. It got three days. I mean, this is crazy. Yeah. Like he should be in prison, right? Oh, 100%. That's some criminal shit.

You adopted the girl. Once you adopt a girl, you can't fuck it. That's a perfect, yeah. Nate McAdosh is the exact thing perfect thing. It should be a law. Say again? Is it a law, though? Wait, what does Nate say on stage? Nathan C. goes, you can't adopt something, then fuck it. That's all he says. I mean, he backs it up. That's the whole

premise is for Woody Allen. You can't adopt something, and then fuck it. Well, here's the thing. Woody never adopted her. His wife adopted her. Woody didn't. There's always a loophole. See? Yeah. These guys are good, huh? This guy fucking adopted her when Woody didn't. There's always a loophole. See? Yeah. These guys are good, huh? This guy fucking adopted her

when she was four. This is worse. This is worse. This picture? Yeah, this is the worst. It's bad, worse, worst. This is worst. Worse is what his dad did.

You think, though, maybe his dad being such a piece of shit is what makes Elon so great? Talk to me. Like, a lot of times— He always wanted to be fucked by his dad, but it was always his sister. Maybe.

You know what I mean? But I think if he got fucked by his dad, he might be even greater. If he got fucked by his dad, he might be living on Mars. Because having a shitty father often pushes men to greatness. Jay-Z, dad was a drug addict, wasn't really around. Jeff Bezos gave him up for adoption. His parents. Elon Musk, dad a piece of shit.

You could go, LeBron James, didn't really know his dad. So many great, this is another, I'm touching on another Nathan McIntosh. He has something similar to this, but greatness comes from not having a dad very often or a shitty dad. One of those two, you're like, yo, I have to be better than this. I have to push myself to greatness. This is like male ego. Okay, hit it. There's a better way to look at that, which is just like,

when it's left to just the mom, kids become amazing. But we refuse to give a mother any credit. Like, if a girl's a slut, why? Not because your mom sucked. Dad didn't do his job. Dad didn't come to volleyball practice if a guy's great why dad wasn't around that makes you fucking great it's like if you're a deadbeat dad no matter what happens with the kid it's your fault yeah and no credit to the mom whatsoever

yeah she's killing herself every day doing everythingant goes, my mom's the real MVP. And it was so shocking. It became like a meme. We were like, what the fuck? Women can do shit? No, no, no. I think moms get enough credit. You get the whole movie shit, bro. Mother's Day, I give my mom all the credit. I don't give my dad no credit.

No, you don't. You're like, I'm ruined because she loves me too much. My life is so hard because my mom's ruined. I never said I was ruined. My mom is great. You know what I mean? You don't blame your dad for nothing that's wrong with you, but you blame your mom, son. Let me tell you something.

Talk to my therapist. Dad gets plenty of blame. I don't talk about it in a public setting. It's too uncomfortable. See? Because it's okay to make fun of mom, bro. Damn. I'd never make fun of my mom, not on this podcast.

No, only compliments. Only praise. That's it. Only praise. She's a great woman. She's a great woman. Yes, she on this podcast. No, only compliments. Only praise. That's it. Only praise. She's a great woman. She's a great woman. Yes, she is, boy. Yes, she is, boy.

Speaking of incest, you want to talk about... AOC getting arrested? Oh, yeah. We can talk about Ricky Martin. Oh, Ricky Martin. Nothing about... Buy that shit, bro. AOC wasn't related to incest at all.

You don't know. Maybe she was arrested for incest. You can't highlight stories cause Andrew's gonna read those immediately maybe AOC was arrested for incest is that not possible we don't know what the crime was is that not a possibility

we do know what the crime was is that not within the realm of possibility yeah the realm of possibility being wide as fuck yeah it's in there can I go back to the fucking Elon dad shit real quick? Yeah, absolutely we can. And I mean this sincerely. Do you think the reason why it's not that big a story is because the most popular

porn is stepdaughter porn? Like, it's so normalized in the porn that we watch. He's just living the dream. This guy's doing it. Goat. It could just be, I found my stepdaughter stuck in a dryer and I'm gonna be like, yeah, of course. Yeah, like that happens all the time.

You haven't seen that porn trend? Like, oh, help me, step bro. I'm stuck in the dryer. That's like every porn. You're like bent over and then. Yeah, the stepmom or stepsister is stuck in the dryer. And then you just fuck them. And they're like, help me get out.

And they're like, yeah, I will. But first. Why are they making the stepdaughter do work? Because you got to pay her way to live in the house. Yeah, but she's not Cinderella. I know. Like, what is this? You got to earn your keep. You're the house. Yeah, but she's not Cinderella. What is this? You got to earn your keep. You're a doctor and then she's just your slave?

Yeah, that's the best part about being a biological kid. You get the stepkid and you're like, thank God. Someone else gets to take over chores. There's overtime. You've been off the clock for all these years. Pick it up. And a foster kid is like, I'd like a

glass of milk yeah yeah on it from the titty i want a glass of milk from the tap yeah exactly yeah yeah but yeah that's like the that's the trope they get stuck in the dryer and then they're like oh help me that's so funny i've never seen the stepdaughter you've never heard of this this is like a movie no am i going crazy no it is true i believe it's true there's just certain porn that i'm not into I don't know if we've spoken about this before but like I do think

that we're getting to a limit you're not into non-consensual porn I'm not into that I don't know why you're even bringing that up she's stuck in a fucking dryer and you just have sex with her

that don't sound consensual that is no she's saying help and then someone's like oh yeah you want some dick is that what will help you it's crazy is that what you need

help with you want someone else stuck? Yeah. That's a weird way to help somebody. Well, then you write a better porn, okay? What's your porn?

Okay. If you think writing porn is so easy. Okay. You're an Indian woman on a train. Okay. You're trying to get

to Bangalore. We're getting to consensual. Remember consensual. Sorry, sorry, sorry. My bad, my bad, my bad. More consensual. Okay, what would be the best porn?

If you could write it. If I could write the best porn? Yeah, written, directed by. Written, directed by. Dun, dun. Okay. Yeah.

Okay. Dick Wolf. Best porn. That was good. Dick Wolf was good. Thanks. Girl comes into an office. Mm-hmm.

Job interview. Oh, this is original. Job interview. Okay. Sits down on the couch guy asks her if she's

you know wants to make between one and five thousand dollars a day guy she goes what do you mean what do you mean

why such the big range yeah yeah that's yeah but also she's not smart enough to know that like it's probably gonna be more towards the one okay

two five thousand yeah he's outsmarting him he can put a Yeah, but also she's not smart enough to know that it's probably going to be more towards the one. Okay, yeah. Two 5,000, right? He's outsmarting them constantly. He can put a huge number. Do you want to make somewhere between $50,000 and $100,000 a day? That's exactly what he could have done. But then they might go, oh, that's unrealistic. So he brought it back down.

He's workshopped it. $1,000 a day is also pretty good. It's great. Yeah, I guess. $365,000 a year. Yeah, but then you have to get fucked for it. But anyway, you can get to that point. But that's the thing you don't know. He pulls out his dick. It's short. Yeah, I guess. $365,000 a year. Yeah, but then you have to get fucked for it. But anyway, you can get to that point. But that's the thing you don't know.

He pulls out his dick. It's short and veiny. Short and veiny. Yeah. Yeah. This is, what's his name? Rick's Casting Room Couch? What's that kid's name?

What do you mean? Casting Couch? What are you talking about? Never heard of that. It's his favorite porn. I know this. Never heard of it. Don't act like I don't know Andrew's favorite porn.

Don't you ever fucking question whether or not I know Andrew's favorite porn. I was actually going to get him that for his birthday. That is. A cameo from Sheehan. That was the name. That was the fucking name. Hold on. A cameo from who?

Sheehan, dude. What's that? That's a redheaded 50-year-old that sucks crazy dick. Oh, my girl. That's my red-headed 50-year-old that sucks crazy dick. Oh, my girl! That's my girl! My fucking girl! I'm going to get you a cameo from her, dude. Dude, that'd be so much better than the Lenny Kravitz version of whatever the fuck you were going to get me this year.

Well, she's the Lenny Kravitz version of She-Han now, okay? She got into a little pill addiction. Wait, did she really? Is she on Cameo? She will be. She has to be. Between $1,000 and $5,000 a day. Do we know where she's gone?

I'm going to do the behind the music. Well, don't do it right now. I'm going to find out. But eventually, we have to find out what's happened to this girl. She had so much talent. That would be... She was filled with talent. The Freddie Adu of fucking porn.

She had so much upside. Freddie Adu? She could have been anything the Freddie Adu of fucking porn. She had so much upside. She could have been anything. Freddie Adu. Freddie Adu's the worst because when she was 14, I mean like. She was actually 18, okay? Come on, dude. Oh, man.

But anyway, yeah, that's not going to get you for your birthday. Okay. What happens at the end of the porn? She wants a job interview. God, he didn't know any athletes except soccer, huh? I was wondering. I was like, why did he go Freddie Adu? Because he doesn't know a basketball player that flamed out or a football

player that didn't make it. Greg Oden? Greg Oden is great. Yeah. You know what I mean? The knees couldn't handle it. That'd have been good. There we go. And he had a big old dick, if we remember correctly. That's right. That guy had a fucking hog. Yeah, he had a thang on him, bro. My God. He had a

thang on him. Look it up. Did I get the job or? Well, before we give you the job, we have to make sure that you can do the job and we have to film that. And you need to work with a male talent and currently there's no male talent here so I'm going to have to be the male talent. What is the job, by the way?

Well, you're going to have to start by sucking my dick. Okay, I don't want to do that. I mean, like. Oscar worthy. What's the point? I mean, just Rick is. APN I don't want to do that. I mean, like... Oscar worthy. What's the point? I mean, just Rick is... Can we... Indiana Ward worthy.

We need to get... Rick is the only porn star that I want on this podcast. I know that we just had two porn stars on the podcast recently. Sorry, guys. I didn't want you

as much as I want Rick. I mean, that's a great answer. Someone goes, hey, who's your favorite porn star? Rick. Rick. A guy.

Yo, it's... You're kind of a loser if you've got a famous... Like a female porn star that's your favorite. Yeah, that's mad weird. Oh, yeah. No, it makes sense, actually. But you should be. You're a connoisseur if you like a guy.

Yeah. Especially like his solo stuff, 100%. Wait, his what? Anyway, so there's other topics. You want to talk about Ricky Martin? He has solo porn? Yeah. Him on a beach looking tight.

You haven't seen that? I'm stuck in the dryer. Oh, no. What's my hand doing? There's a sock on his hand. Oh, no. Mr. Sock, don't pull up. Okay.

Do you want to talk about Ricky Martin? The sock is gagging. But he's also doing the gagging. Let me tell you something. Nobody's gagging on Rick. I know this for a fact. Now, tell me why AOC is convicted of it. I think maybe that helps get more dick sucks,

where they're like, that's $1,000. That's light work for this little dick. Oh, 100%. What girl wouldn't do that? Yeah. Half a body. All right, guys, we're going to take a break for a second because I need to make sure y'all don't go bald, man.

And that is a possibility with a simple pill. Okay? Very simple. I've been on it for over 10 years. That's why your boy got the full head of hair. Keeps his gotcha back. And let me tell you, keeps is cheap. They got the generic versions of these drugs. curating systems, these hair conserving systems, this genius life-saving medication for like $10

per month because Keeps got the generic versions of the two FDA-approved medications to prevent hair loss. So this is what you need to do. You need to go to Keeps.com. That's K-E-E-P-S.com, okay, slash flagrants. And when you do that, you're going to receive your first month of the treatment for free. That's K-E-E-P-S dot com slash flagrant. To get your first month for free, K-E-E-P-S dot com slash flagrant. I'm telling you, fellas. And ladies, if you're listening and you got a man, you see that shit thinning, get on it now. This is preventative, okay?

You stop it before it goes, and then you got that full head of hair for the rest of your life with keeps. Now, let's get back to the show. All right, guys, we're gonna take a break for a second because we all want to save as much money as possible. So you got to let Earnest help you save on your student loans, okay? Earnest is the number one student loan refinance company

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right now, Earnest is offering our listeners a $100 cash bonus, okay? Refinance your student debt at Earnest.com slash flagrant. Remember, this is not available in all states. But once again, you get a $100 cash bonus when you visit earnest.com slash flagrant to refinance your student loan. Visit earnest.com slash flagrant for more details. It's not available in all states. Terms and conditions apply. Earnest student loan refinancing made by Earnest Operations LLC and MLS number 1204917. California financing law license number 6054788. 535 Mission Street, San Francisco, California 94105. Visit earnest.com slash licenses for a full list of licenses. AOC, I didn't read the full article, but she stopped sex trafficking.

And that's why she was arrested, allegedly, but never got put in handcuffs. She stopped sex trafficking. What happened? She wanted to be walked away by the police. She's looking into the camera. She's smiling. She was blocking traffic. That's what it was.

But it was an anti-abortion. Yeah. It was a pro-abortion thing. And like they were making a whole spectacle at the protest and she was like blocking traffic. Along with like other lawmakers and then they moved her out. But like. She was arrested. Such a drama queen.

The level of privilege that it takes to get arrested for PR. It blows my fucking mind. Amy Schumer I saw do this and emily ratajkowski oh you know emily ratajkowski uh just got divorced yeah i heard her man was cheating what a fucking retard this guy is i see her in my neighborhood all the time okay what are those two pieces of information nothing as long as i'm not on one of my Bluetooth walks. You know what I'm saying? I think Wasabi gets uncomfortable seeing you walk around with your whole hard dick out.

Every single night, Wasabi's like, can mom walk me? Because dad always runs his dick on my head. It's not hard the whole time. And usually once it... It takes 15, 20 minutes. Once it kicks in, your boy is ready

to get back up in the elevator. The hard part is if the doorman wants to have, no, the doorman wants to have like extended conversation and your boy's bricky

flipping it up to the belly button. You know what I mean? Then, that's an issue. Then, you know. Because you're not

wearing a shirt and your tip is just hanging out. No, but sometimes I'll have a button down and then a wife beater on over it. Okay. And then it's just Wilson.

Hey, what y'all doing over there? Hey. What's up, Paul? Hey there, neighbor-oony. Literally. Okay, so, but that's crazy. Like, everybody can get cheated on, yo. Yeah, it's crazy.

Everybody can get it. Yeah. Hey, as married men on this podcast, we gotta let, you know what I mean? We gotta let our ladies know. Anybody can get it. So, how lucky are you that you don't? Exactly.

Especially third world. Who was I talking about this? I forget. Your wife is not from the third world. No, I'm saying, you gotta go on vacations to the third world. Who was I talking about? I forget. Your wife is not from the third world. No, I'm saying you got to go on vacations to the third world, and then you realize, not even third world, any other country except America, and you realize how beautiful women are there. Because no one ever told you this when you were a kid.

You're a kid, you travel around, but then you go as an adult, and you're like, wow, there's beautiful women everywhere. Wouldn't they love to be married to a nice American guy? Get a little citizenship. And they're going to get cheated on where they're from. In America, we have to be faithful. In other countries, that's not part of the culture. It's not the expectation.

It's not. So this is something that, like, you want to talk about the patriarchy and all this other shit. Yeah. We invented faithful. That's a good point. That's an American invention. We invented jazz.

We invented comedy. And we invented faithful. Okay. Faithful is a term used for religion in other parts of the world. You're not faithful in other parts of the world. In India, are you faithful? Yeah. Yeah, I mean, you know,

if you're not being a fucking animal on a train, if you're a married man, not on a train, you're faithful. As long as you're not on a train with your friends. You don't think the guys cheat in India? Oh, they cheat cheat But they cheat like they cheat here We don't cheat here Oh okay

My bad Yeah yeah okay My bad Right? It's scrutinized It's like highly scrutinized To cheat Yeah yeah yeah

But in France You could cheat right? In Italy you could cheat This you know France you could cheat Italy you could cheat Italy you could cheat That's what the romance languages are

It just means I can fuck everybody Fame cheat It's cultural You gotta remix Black Men Don't Cheat. You gotta do a little Duval Samba remix for Americans.

And what do we call ourselves? Americans Don't Cheat. That's us. That's really us. Uh-huh. Do you have your ring on? I do. You have to ask.

We all have our rings on today, right? We do. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, because we don't fucking... Americans invented not cheating. Yes. We invented Valentine's Day. They didn't have that.

Yeah, that was the biggest mistake. They didn't have that. But I'm saying, like, we have all these holidays for the appreciation of our women. We have all these customs for the appreciation of our women. We invented not beating women the fuck up. That's true. Right? And if you go to any other country, they were beating them the fuck up for years.

We're the most pro-women. Who's they, Americans? America invented not beating women. Everybody else. Everybody else stays on that. In Britain, didn't they have to make a law you can't beat your woman? The rule of thumb. With a thumb.

The rule of thumb. You can hit her with anything as long as it's not wider than your thumb. That's it. Look that up. Look, that's why they made the cricket pallets very thin this way. Yeah, that way. So you just come at it straight with a knife. That's why India loves cricket. There we go!

It's a cultural thing that they unite on. What I'm saying is Americans are the best men. We are the most faithful. We're the most loving. Valentine's Day. Women don't have birthdays in other countries. Did you know that?

That's not true. They literally haven't. How old do you think Doug's mom is? How old do you think Doug's mom is? They're not counting birthdays in other countries. I swear to God, my mom. You turn 13, you're a woman, and that's it. I swear to God, my mom doesn't know her birthday. Thank you. I swear to God, my mom. You turn 13, you're a woman, and that's it. I swear to God,

my mom doesn't know her birthday. Thank you. I swear to God, my mom does not know her birthday. These motherfuckers know all the math, and they can't even calculate birthday.

Think about that. My grandfather remembers the exact... Is that because your dad's a creep? He's like, yo, don't tell me that shit. Yo, don't say a fucking word. Arrange this marriage.

This story is sad, but it made me laugh. My grandfather had an Omega watch, and he knew the exact time and day and everything when he bought his watch. And he told me the whole story. And then I was like, yeah, but when is my mom's birthday? And he was like, I don't know. He asked me these questions for it. He was so pissed he had daughters.

I know how much we got for her. He was so pissed he had daughters, he forgot all their birthdays. Just blocked it out. Not happening. Show me a culture that is better to women than American culture. I think you make a valid point. Do they still do dowries? Say again?

Do they still do dowries? My family does not. But I know it's still done in more rural parts, but my family is not. I mean, that's insane. Like having to haggle for your daughter. No. But you got to come up with a price. Be like, come on on she's worth more than

fucking eight goats. No you gotta pay. Oh yes. You gotta pay to get rid of the liability which is the daughter. We don't even look at women as a liability in this country.

But how do they come up with the number? Say again? How do they come up with the number? Which any insurance company should start to do right? I mean if we're like

tallying what shit costs you gotta wipe us a massive liability. Guy come bro. So easy a Sri Lankan could do it. Like that's gotta be the. Guy come, bro. So easy a Sri Lankan could do it. Like, that's gotta be the fucking,

that's their slogan. Yeah, that was racist, yo. How is that racist? Goddamn, Mark. I don't know where the line is. No, he really just be crossing the fucking line, dude. What do you mean?

Can we say something seriously? We go, how much is a woman worth? Line up your sisters. Mm-hmm. You know. Yo. Come on, Mark. You know more or less. You know which one is worth what not the exact amount but you

know if this one is worth more than that one okay do you know what i'm saying so then you gotta so then everything's precedent you can't make him answer this i'm not saying put a dollar amount do you know what i'm saying i saw like okay'm just saying, we know how much a thing is worth. We know it. My mom, absolute fucking smoke show, dying peace with the others in Scotland, where all women are ugly. Got talent.

Crazy talented. You know what I mean? National ballroom dance champion, two times. Miss Scotland, son, was Miss Scotland. She was Miss Scotland. You never told me that. Yeah. Is that true?

If you're any pretty woman in Scotland, you're Miss Scotland. I think they were just calling her that. They'd never seen a beautiful woman before, so they just started labeling her that shit. I think she was like, she won this Miss Scotland pageant, and then they found out she was only 17,

and they're like, ugh. Really? Yeah, some crazy shit. But my mom, hottest Scottish woman ever, duh, worth a lot in Scotland. Worth most in Scotland, when you think

about it. Yeah. Could have been like a duchess or something. Yeah. 100%. He could have been the Prince Andrew. Literally. Oh, yeah. I mean, literally. You know been the Prince Andrew. Literally. Oh, yeah. I mean, literally. You know that the Prince Andrew flag is the flag of Scotland. If you knew that, that was fire, what you just did.

I didn't, but I'll take credit. All I'm trying to say is women are most valued in America, more valued than any other place in the world. He's not wrong. He's not wrong. Mm-hmm. You know one of my favorite bits that you stopped doing is You said on stage one time, you were just riffing. You were like, yo, I know this is wrong. This is years ago. You're like, sometimes my girl will be like, hey, can you take out the trash?

And I want to be like, bitch, you know how tired I am from not cheating on you? You have any fucking idea how exhausted I am from not cheating on you all day? That was past relationships. That shit was past relationships. It was past relationships. It was so funny. Do you know what I mean? not cheating on you all day. That was past relationships. That shit was past relationships. Yes, it was past relationships. It was so funny. Do you know what I mean? I remember that bit for years.

I'd still be exhausted than a motherfucker, though. Yeah, we do trust our women the best here, dude. No, no. Like, look at how we praise them. You know what I mean? Like, when this guy saw his favorite congresswoman. Well, look. Look, this guy is being ridiculed nonstop.

AOC, my favorite big booty Latina. I love you, AOC. You're my favorite. She wants to kill babies, but she's still beautiful. You look very beautiful in that dress. You look very sexy. Look at that booty on AOC. That's my favorite big booty Latina.

I want you to do a little selfie. I love it. My favorite AOC. Nice to meet you, AOC. Look how sexy she looks in that dress. This guy sucks. Woo, I love it, AOC. Hot, hot, hot like a tamale.

I mean, the last line is kind of funny. The last line is objectively funny. Yeah, yeah. But yeah, he's a fucking weirdo. Yeah, dude, fuck that guy. Yo, Megyn Kelly was defending this dude like crazy. This guy? I did Megyn's podcast. I love Megyn. Shout out Megyn. Megyn's fucking hilarious and she got a hunk of a

husband. See if you can get up Megyn Kelly's husband. I'd talk to him like that, 100%. But yeah but uh but yeah she was just like he's just joking he's just having some fun like when did we become so sensitive and i was like man uh yeah when they're there it feels a lot like harassment yeah it's weird when they're there is different you're just heckling on the street. Yeah. It's weird. It's like you're doing something. You're making a girl feel uncomfortable and you're not doing it because you want to hit on her.

It would actually be less weird if you were, go, go, go. Yes, it would be less weird if you were doing it sexually. Hey, I want to be with you. Like if your intention was to get her number. Yeah. If you're like, oh my God, you're my favorite big bully Latina. God damn, you're so beautiful. Hold on, hold on.

Let me talk to you. Can I take you out for dinner, please? God, you're my favorite big bully Latina. God damn, you're so beautiful. Hold on, hold on. Let me talk to you. Can I take you out for dinner, please? I love you. Fucking great point. His intent was to make her feel uncomfortable. Yeah. And that shines through. It's very obvious.

Yes. And as an American who protects women and we treat women the best at any place in the entire world. That's right, dude. I have to reject this because that was un-American. That was French. That was un-American. That was very French. That was French. That was un-American. That was very French.

That was French. That was somewhere else. I know that we don't treat women like that here, to their face. Yeah. Like you said, we can objectively talk about a woman's body. I don't even think her ass is the best part of her body. This guy clearly is not familiar with Latinas. Or is from a place where they're predominantly Mexicans and they're built like a fucking back of Shifty's head.

Right? What, guys? What? What? Wait, what's your favorite part of AOC? Her brain. Her mind? Her brain.

Her smile. Yeah, I like her mind. Okay. I'm into her mind. Yeah. What's your favorite thing that she's ever said? Like, what's your favorite thing that she's ever said like it was your favorite like thought of hers like she said something you were like wow I'm really attracted this woman's brain she

was fighting for the working class and her huge fucking fat she was she was fighting for the working class and for you you're a socialist bro say again you're socialist when it comes to women's issues, I'm a socialist. Yeah. Yes. When it comes to women's bodies, I'm a socialist. Trying to seize the means

of reproduction. Let's go, baby. I see you. Did you see what he just did right there? He just flipped it. That was the next, I mean, if we were talking

about communism, that would be like next level Joe, but that was a good joke right there. Yeah, yeah. I mean, like, seize the,

he's a closeted Marxist just because he is a Marxist right there. Yeah, yeah. That. I mean, like, seize the... My bad. He's a closeted Marxist. Just because I delayed the version. He's a Marxist right there? Yeah, yeah. That was a next level joke. Thanks, dude. Seize the means of reproduction. Now, technically, that would make me a conservative, though.

Why? Because you're trying to grab him by the pussy? No. Conservatives are trying to seize the means of reproduction, which is the most communist thing. That's actually a funny spin. Why are you being so communist? What do you mean? Well, you're trying to seize the means of reproduction. which is the most communist thing. That's actually a funny spin. Why are you being so communist? What do you mean?

Well, you're trying to seize the means of reproduction. Yeah. Wow. That'd be a smart spin, but they wouldn't get it, because I'm barely getting it. Mark, can you explain it with your gay things you did? Nah. Miles?

Pro-life tarot. Oh, that was good. That was good. That was good. We're firing on all cylinders right now. Comedy is happening, bro. It is really happening. Dove, tell us about how my friend Jason almost ruined your date last night.

Oh, I need to hear this story. I mean, what happened? Dove texted me, like, exasperated. And he goes, can you call me? And I go, I'm in bed. I can't. He goes, this is going to have to wait until tomorrow. Which you don't.

He can't handle. I can't text this. He goes, I cannot text this right and I'm like uh oh what's going on just tell me

what happened what transpired went on a date with an age appropriate woman yesterday yeah and then he's immediately going to say something

that could have been a text but go ahead yeah yeah yeah I just want to know is that what my voice sounds like in your head when I text you yeah

I honestly I didn't hear I thought that was you doing I thought that was you doing I thought that was you twice no yeah okay go go go go go

I mean like the amount of sass in the text message yeah I gotta get the text message out you start telling the story I went on a date last night girl I walked up to

met at a restaurant don't try to remove emotion I want you to keep the emotion don't try to play it cool be honest how you feel live in your emotion act this was wild okay at a restaurant. Don't try to remove emotion. I want you to keep the emotion, Dov. Don't try to play it cool. Be honest how you feel. Live in your emotion.

Act. This was wild. Okay. I don't know how to do it in a jokey way. I was so shocked. Be you, Dov. Be honest. Be natural.

No, I'm sitting down. The table was for four. We took a corner table. The two of us sitting catty corner. You and your date? Hold on. He goes,

dude, you have no idea what Jason did on my date Oof So when you're texting a sound effect I'm going to text a sound effect I got that from my sister Yes, there's some oofs in my text Dot, dot, dot

Oof, right? And then I go, what? I just go, what? He goes, too much to type. All good now, but never experienced a friend running while I was on a date that was as bad as that. What did he do? Just act like an idiot? He goes, it's what he said. My jaw was on the floor. The fuck speaks like this. I hate this guy that you're reading text from.

What? I don't know whoever that is. I go, what did he say? He goes, call me if you're up. I mean, Doug really thinks his life is like a TV novella. It's like everything is like a soap opera. You guys have turned my dating life into that. So why can't I assume at least in this category, it is an event?

How could you betray me? I go, I go, I go, tell me. He goes, I'm in bed. He goes, tell me. He goes, tomorrow then. I go, bro, you can't say that before I go to sleep. I go, well. He goes, just stuff I couldn't believe he would say to a guy that was on a date.

Quotes. Oh, you're Jewish? Oh, no. I thought Dove only goes out with Jewish girls. Not that crazy. Yeah, why is that so bad? He's sitting in front of a girl. He doesn't know what she is.

Is it bad because he's lying and everybody knows he wouldn't touch a Jew ever? I just don't get it. No, it was sitting down saying, hey, how'd you guys meet? Are you aware Jewish girls' pussy lips are made of bacon? Is that why you said so far from them? Your girl is Jewish. I'm not worried about that. Yeah.

Listen. Don't worry. I'm not going to do it if he just mirrors and just takes your side completely. This was actually, this was wild last night. What am I mirroring? Let me tell you something. We're going to bully you. Okay.

This is what's fun. Also am I mirroring? Let me tell you something. We're good. We're going to bully you. Okay. This is what's fun. Yeah, yeah, yeah. How do you think I feel about you never talking to Jewish women and talking to us about Judaism all the time? Now he brings it up. Anyway, I'm sitting on a date. Yeah. 30-year-old woman. 30-year-old.

Woman. Works at a bank. Beautiful. Brazilian. Bolivian. Grew up in Bolivia. Yeah. And blah, blah, blah. And I see see jason walk by i'm like oh hey

he's uh out of drinks with some friends and it was just one of the the first interaction was just like hey and we're just getting our date started and we've only met for 10 minutes before this and uh the pleasantries are there and i was like all right gonna get back to my uh gonna get back to my date right now and then he comes back again when the food arrives and he just he was walking up to the rooftop and with his friends and then just stopped and just was there i was like shoot so i'd be inviting him to sit down with us for a quick little sip while we're chatting anyway he takes a seat and he starts going at it just asking oh how'd you guys meet how long did it take him to get to the story I'm not gonna tell

we're not even in the story yet we're not even in the story yet 500,000 followers on tiktok just let me do it hold on hold on hold on let me get it are you a content creator Dov and it's Tuesday let's go buddy

bro the rest of this story is available on Patreon. Subscribe and you'll hear more. That was just wild. It was just like. So he started going like, you're not Jewish. And then the girl reacted poorly. She's just like, wait, what? And he's like, yeah, Dov only dates Jewish girls.

I'm like, what are you actually saying out of your mouth? Even if that was true, not true. Like, you're saying it to this girl that you just found out is not Jewish. You're seeing that we're starting this date. It's all assumptions. How'd you meet? Ends the conversation.

I'll just jump to the end. We're like, well, hope this thing goes great. See you guys at the wedding. And she just, she was also on the floor. I was like, was that weird to you? And I'm like, yeah, let me explain to you. The first thing that comes out of my mouth after it,

it was so awkward. Akash, you're either on my side or I'm not going to tell the story. Let me tell you. This guy's a lady. It's unbelievable. That's exactly what my wife would be saying.

This guy is a woman. Mark heard this story already. I'm looking straight at Akash and I don't like what's about to come out of his mouth. Oh my gosh. You're either on my side or I'm not telling this story. Don't threaten

me with a good time. Don't even give me a chance to understand. It was the most awkward friend running to say like. Did you guys kiss at the end? No, he hates me. I was just trying to save the date for the rest right afterwards. It's not that bad. It's awkward. I'm not going to say like did you guys kiss at the end no he hates you i was just trying to save the date for the rest right afterwards it's not that bad you want me to tell you the first thing it's awkward i'm not gonna say what he did was good but you act like it's some fucking i can't recover from this that's not that big a deal no but first of all i'm going on a date why do i need to work

on recovering from a first date when it was going great just be a friend that just reads the room he didn't i continue the first thing that came out of my mouth when he walked away was this. Hey, so let me tell you, he's not actually my friend. He's my friend, Andrew's friend. I met him through him. And that was the first thing I had to do. Motherfucker name dropping you, bro. That's how famous you get.

Name dropping you like that. You know what I'm saying? You know what I'm saying? She didn't know who you were. Still. You were Andrew. You were Andrew. You had that. And I had to go through and explain that.

And yeah, there we go. Okay. I just want to do extra work. It was extra work, but my jaw was on the floor. My jaw was on the floor? You're the worst. Your jaw was agape? What's crazy, this is a couple weeks after i told him i'm not gonna

include him in any type of uh dating intel until the end i mean i'm going on dates with with mark and yes i could do it with you he loves that yeah he loves hanging out with you and your wife that's great we're a great little trio we have a standing sunset dinner i love it yeah i chose not to bring a date because i'm like no i actually like the two of them together on the date. Yeah. She's slowly becoming more and more Jewish, and I think that's why her and Dove are starting to connect. Ah. Yeah, she's slowly assimilating.

She literally drops some shit and goes, No! Those are things that I don't even say. That's like so Yiddish. She shaved her head. It's crazy. That's fire, though. Yeah, I've been piping her through a sheet.

It's awesome. That's like our whole relationship. It's crazy. That's fire though. Yeah, I've been piping her through a sheet. It's awesome. That's like our whole relationship. It's weirdly awesome. These Jews figured it out. Thank you so much. I got my own bed. It's been great. Okay, what else we got, Mark?

You want to hit feelings, no facts? Yes, I want to hit feelings, no facts. Okay. Immediately. Skittles contain titanium dioxide. Yeah, no shit. Lawsuit. I mean, y'all thought Skittles were made out of real food, bro?

Yeah. Like if Subway bread isn't even made out of real food, there's no fucking chance for Skittles. I mean, it's funny, because Skittles' slogan is literally like, it tastes like a rainbow. It's not even like 100% juice. But yeah, titanium dioxide. Are you still eating Skittles? What's the deal? Yeah, I'm going to eat them when they're there.

I'll have like a few of them. But I know what I'm getting into is Skittles. Yeah, they're horrible. Yeah, pretty much any candy, you're going to die. It's bad. All food that tastes good is bad, pretty much. Yeah.

Especially in America, don't give a fuck, dog. The annoying part, though, is the titanium dioxide, which apparently is not illegal. Sounds like it would give you superpowers. Right, it sounds awesome.

This shit seems like super good for you. That's the shit that's in Wolverine, right? That's also just for color. It's just for coloring. It's not even for the actual taste or nothing.

Why are we changing the color, yo? To make it more appealing to look at. Yeah, but like... You ever eaten like a natural gummy or like an organic chocolate? If you... This is...

This shit is mad chocolate, like chocolate and shit. If you go to like Europe, the Sour Patch Kids, they have like a licorice flavor because they don't use artificial shit as much. Yeah.

So they'll just have like... Yeah, so it's mad dull. That's why. Everything's mad dull. And it tastes good, but this shit be slapping harder over here yeah literally have you gone to england go to london every single corner just has like american candy store that's like it's taking over the whole city it's great oh that's right

because they don't have shit yeah even going to canada they got like one peanut butter exactly like yeah america's got the best men. We have the best candy, the best chocolate. And yeah, it kind of kills you in the long run, but it's pretty lit. But your life that you're going to live is going to be the best. Yeah. You're going to enjoy this the most. A solid 50 years. But a banger of those 50. Exactly.

I'm here for a good time, not a long time. There we go. That's what it is. There we go. Give me titanium dioxide. Give me all this shit. What is America not the best at? Low key.

Healthcare is debatable. Canadian health care sucks i heard i was talking to a canadian doctor was like it actually sucks there the system sucks see for most people see he said at least in america you can pay for it if you want good health care like you got the money you can pay you can get the best health care out there okay and then in canada you're just like waiting on the system nobody it's not accessible to anybody so even if i need something but and i can pay for it right now i have to like wait and qualify and i gotta sit in this fucking cube for however many months he said i've had a torn up knee for like two years it just hasn't gotten worked on that sounds like propaganda but i'm gonna believe that shit yeah why would he be propaganda he's a doctor out there because doctors don't make no money out there, so they're salty. Yeah, I think being rich anywhere is awesome.

Yo. I think that's what I'm really trying to say. Doctors should be rich. Being rich is awesome. A man named Andrew Tate once said that. What did he say? And that's why he lives in Romania. Yeah.

Because he could access the corruption. Yeah. He had bars, bro. I'm not going to lie. He goes, in America, you've got to be a billionaire to access the corruption. In Romania, you don't got to be a billionaire. This guy's good. Even though he's a billionaire to access the corruption. In Romania, you don't got to be a billionaire. This guy's good. Even though he's a billionaire and a trillionaire.

Yeah, exactly. That being said, he says you don't have to be that in order to access it. Yeah. But there is something to that. You know, you get pulled over in Mexico and you're able to bribe the fucking cop and now you don't go to a Mexican jail. So America doesn't have the best corruption. Our corruption is not as good. Fine.

There's a barrier to entry. Inequality and the corruption here. It's injustice. It's too equal. That's the only thing you can criticize about America. It's too equal. It's not corrupt enough. Am I wrong? People get hooked on opioids and shit like that? Like, that happens a lot.

Fire. Way to go. Okay. Yeah, I guess. Of all the ways to die, feeling amazing. Playing Pink Floyd, just fucking floating off into space. Right? You destroy your whole family, but you know who doesn't feel it? You. Yeah, that's pretty good, actually.

That's true. Probably the best way to ruin your life. No, that's true. He's not wrong. Logic checks out. You died from dopamine. You died from happiness. Skittles and fucking heroin.

It's awesome. What kills people here? Everything. It feels good. America's so good, you die from feeling good. You die from indulging. It's awesome. What kills people here? Everything. It feels good. America's so good, you die from feeling good. You die from indulging. Yeah.

Indulging. You're either fat from eating delicious sugar all day. Hmm. Opioid addiction from having dopamine overflow all day.

Cigarettes from a nice nicotine buzz. Cigarettes. Suicide is a big taker of lives in America. Ooh, that suicide thing is fucking tough.

Pesky, dude. Pesky. Yeah. What a bummer, right? Yeah. How do we work around that? Well, suicide, you die when you want. It's your body, your choice.

Yo, facts. Nobody says that when it comes to suicide. Why is suicide illegal? Do you know what is illegal? Titanium dioxide? No. What? Suicide is illegal. It's illegal to kill yourself. Mm-hmm. Do you know what is illegal? Titanium docks? No. What? Suicide is illegal.

It's illegal to kill yourself. Mm-hmm. Did you know that? You try to kill yourself, they lock your ass up. They give you the death penalty sometimes. Well, isn't that interesting? That would be fine. Well, well, well.

We're going to do it. We're going to do it right. Yeah, that just incentivizes me. Maybe they just don't want people to like, they don't want to pay for people who kill themselves and live. So they're like, let's just make sure they fucking kill themselves. And then lock them, you know, not lock them up,

but just one time, boom. But just make sure they do it right. Because if they're like, yo, if I don't die, I got to go to jail. Yeah. That's a double deterrent. You got to be the fuck out of here.

But isn't that crazy? Like if, where are all the My Body, My Choice people? They should be down for assisted suicide. They probably are. Yeah, I. They are with it. Yeah, I think so, probably.

Assisted suicide, by all means. Oh, you're cool with that? That's all over Europe. Everyone's doing it. They probably are. Yeah, I... They are with it. Yeah, I think so, probably. Assisted suicide, by all means. Oh, you were cool with that? That was all over Europe. Everyone was doing it. By all means. Really? Yeah, I mean,

usually there's like parameters. You have to have a terminal illness, et cetera. Doctors, psychologists, write-off, all the whole thing. The co-founder of Studio 54 just had that done.

Is that right? Yeah. Son, that motherfucker is still kicking around? What's his name? Steve? Steve will do it. He did it.

Shout out to Steve will do it for reposting the special, man. Thank you so much. Also, have that done is funny. Like, it's a procedure. Like, he went in for his appointment. Steve Rebell? Yeah, Rebell, yeah. He had his suicide assistant?

Mm-hmm. He says, I can't walk. I can't stand. I'm just, come on, let me go. In America, he did this? No, I'll tell you right now. It's legal in Oregon. I know that.

Or it was years ago, at least. Yeah, they're big on that over there. Now, do you have to qualify for it? What if you're just sad? There's parameters you have to hit. You can't just be sad. Like terminal illness, last I checked. I know that was the main one.

The loss of quality of life is a big one. Like if you have MSLS or one of those. Yeah. Where they can keep you alive even, but your quality of life is just going to be destroyed sorry mike uh mark fleischman and he did it in europe yeah 82 at a clinic in switzerland i think i actually read a script about this where you go you you come for your appointment and then they send you away for a week to make sure yeah yeah yeah that is uh oh that's a fire movie the movie was that week in between yeah like you find you think i remember like he fell for someone or just found a new connection in life and and then there's a there's

a i think either a thought experiment or some story of like a person that was losing their mind so they asked to do this and then upon having in belgium yeah what is the story it's basically a woman that like had she was basically like yo when i go crazy she was like suffering from like early onset dementia something she was like when i eventually lose my mind i don't want to be a burden to you guys i don't want to be a burden to myself i'm gonna be out of my mind i don't know how i'm gonna be feeling put me down for assisted suicide like signs the paperwork and everything get the doctors get the whole thing and then eventually it got to that point where she was like

ultimately like completely senile and they were like okay it's time for assisted suicide time she's like I don't want to and they were like but you said

you signed the thing you said you wanted to go I forget and she was like I don't you gotta let her live I didn't do it you gotta let her live

I think they ended up yeah I think she ended up shooting her in the head but isn't that crazy like she should have agency I think they ended up, yeah, I think she ended up. Shooting her in the head. But isn't that crazy? Like, she should have agency over her body. She should be able to make those decisions. Even if she can only remember certain things throughout the day.

Like, she has the right in that moment to make that decision. Even though she didn't want, earlier on, she thought that she wouldn't want to live when this happened. Yeah. want earlier on she thought that she wouldn't want to live when this happened yeah but now that it's happened for whatever reason she enjoys life enough to live she couldn't predict that before yeah she's maybe making that decision because she doesn't want to be a burden on her friends and family yeah but still now that you're in that moment even though you have memory loss you want to live you have to listen and even if you're not in your right mind even if you're senile you have to listen to that choice. And even if you're not in your right mind, even if you're senile, you have to listen to that person.

You can't just kill somebody. Because if you weren't senile and you were able to change your mind, we would believe you. Yeah. And we would take you serious, right? 100%.

Yeah, that's a tricky one. Blame the bureaucracy, yo. God's got this shit done a little bit faster. She'd be dead right now. Yo, facts. It's Canadian healthcare. I know.

I'm telling you, bro. Yeah. But yeah, the justification I heard before or reasoning, it's like the US,S., it's about, we call it like taking your life or taking my life. And in Europe, it's giving death.

So like you're choosing the way you go out. Nothing's being taken from you. You're giving them. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You're giving them like a freedom from their suffering. Guys, Big Daisy Energy Tour still going, still picking up momentum. Acme Comedy Club, we did this past weekend in Minneapolis and everybody told me you should not do these clubs

in the summer in Minneapolis because nobody does anything indoors. They were wrong. We sold out all these fucking shows. Thank you guys so much for coming. Now, July 28th through 30th, I'm gonna be at the American Comedy Company in San Diego. Those shows are already getting close to selling out,

so you need to buy your tickets now. And then August 5th through 6th, I'm gonna be in at the American Comedy Company in San Diego. Those shows are already getting close to selling out, so you need to buy your tickets now. And then August 5th through 6th, I'm going to be in Atlantic City, New Jersey. Guys, let's go back. Let's run it back. I got a $5,000 bet to place on a hand roulette with the RU Garbage guys. We're going to do that.

Let's sell them bitches out. August 11th through 13th, I'm going to be in Tempe, Arizona at the Improv. September 9th and 10th, I'm going to be in Orlando, Florida. Your boy Mark Gagnon is going to be featuring. So go to akashsingh.com to get your tickets.

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Thank you all so much. I got to help you all smoke with the best. And freeze pipe is the best. Plain and motherfucking simple, okay? You're tired of destroying your throat, your lungs. You're smoking that hot-ass weed smoke when you don't have to. And I know you look at me right now, you're like, Schultz, smoke is hot. Fire is hot. How the fuck can the actual smoke not be hot? Well, when you got these glycerin chambers right here, you freeze these bad boys and you take a hit of

this, you're going to have the coolest smoke you've ever had in your life. You're going to be taking the biggest bong rips you've ever done in your entire life. And look how gorgeous this thing. Okay? You might bring some girls over that use it as a sex toy. That's just a bonus. My point is, the freeze pipe, the freeze pipe itself is the best in the business, and you're going to get it. And you know what? We're going to get you a discount with it.

That's right. For the smoothest glass pieces at everyday great prices, you just got to go to thefreezepipe.com and use the code flagrant for 15% off your order. That's thefreezepipe.com and use the code flagrant for 15% off. Shop today. Your throat and lungs will thank you. Now let's get back to the show. Okay, what do we got right here, Mark? Okay, this is a brand new trend. It's called vabbing, all right? This is like going around TikTok. At the gym. Vabbing at the gym for the first time.

You guys aren't going to believe me. Okay, now I'm in the sauna, but it worked. The vabbing worked. So just based off that alone, what do you think vabbing is? I mean, I have no fucking clue. She says, I'm vabbing at the gym, and then she goes, it worked. The vabbing was successful. If you no fucking she says i'm vabbing at the gym and then she goes it worked the vabbing was successful if you had to guess no no i'm something to do with the vagina yes because va is in there yeah and these women aren't creative enough to think of a new term

you know i mean so you're on it uh vaginal what mark any idea, any idea? Miles, any idea? My bad. Vibrating. This is basically a new phenomenon where women are mixing in their vaginal fluids, either with perfume or just going straight raw dog, and putting it on their neck, in their hair, on their wrists. Vaginal dabbing. Like perfume. Like when you dab perfume.

As a way to spread their pheromones and attract men in a more natural way. As a way to spread their pheromones and attract men in a more natural way. It doesn't matter how much pussy juice that woman puts on that fucking calzone of the neck of hers. I'm not, I am not hitting her. There is, that girl's out of her mind. She's sitting there going, first of all, you're not going to the gym. Like, don't, don't, don't even, don't even start with that. I was at the gym. What's she wearing,

first of all? Can we rewatch that video? I'm not going to play it again. I refuse, okay? No, dude. Stop that. And this is bad. Now you have like

younger women are going to look at this and they're going to be like throwing pussy juice all over their necks and shit. Why is this bad? She's fully dressed in the sauna. So what the fuck

is going on with this girl? I don't understand why she's fully dressed in the sauna. Well, maybe because she doesn't go to the gym that often. She doesn't She's fully dressed in the sauna. What the fuck is going on with this girl? She's fully dressed in the sauna. Maybe because she doesn't go to the gym that often, she doesn't know how to dress in the sauna. Come on. Let's be serious here. Or maybe she needs to sweat as much as humanly possible. Yeah, stop it. This is... But it's a whole thing. People are doing this all over the country. This is cap. Yeah, I don't believe...

What do you mean it's cap? It's happening. This woman is doing it right there. Okay, but how do we know it's working? She's by herself in a sauna saying it worked. Why wouldn't it work, okay? The pheromones, if you can smell them, you're going to be drawn to it. I don't know if you will 100%. We're not just drawn to pheromones.

We have eyes, dude. Do you know what I'm saying? People act like pheromones is a love potion. It's not. It can heighten some stuff, but that's it. Have you ever heard that shit, though, where they gave a woman a bunch of samples of T-shirts, smell all the shirts, whichever shirt, which one do you think

smells the best, and then they did a blind test on which guy they thought was most attractive. There was a correlation between the shirt smell and the guy. I believe there's a correlation,

but again, if I saw her... Look at him. He looks like if Jason said that he'd ask if your girl was drunk. No, I actually think that's interesting.

I like experiments like that. That's a more sophisticated version of astrology, right? So instead of like, you were born on this day and you're sun rising and that kind of shit, you're seeing who you're naturally attracted to. Now, are we naturally attracted to a smell or scent, or are we naturally attracted to an ability to protect and provide and the physiology and biology of someone that can do those things? For example, like, do women like a taller guy because they think, oh, you could probably protect me a little bit more? Like, does that override the smell? I think up is physical

first like how you look appearance and then it goes to this other stuff heightens it pheromones that's when you really connect with somebody yeah when the pheromones line up first i think they're cute then they got the pheromones popping we match up now we're in in in now this this is this is uh this sounds like a a bit like and it is something that I thought of. In that regard, I might even try it on stage. But I think that if women are sexually attracted, like they are turned on by different things than us, then sexual harassment from them should be adjusted.

For example, if a woman is into tall guys, right? If a girl goes, how tall are you? That's sexual harassment. That is akin to a guy asking about doing what fucking the guy did to AOC. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like if you're just seeing guys go, oh, you're so tall. That's your big booty Latina. Yeah.

Your big booty Latina and me. That's great. Because you're not into physical looks in the same way that we are. You fucking creep. Yeah. You're a creep. Grandma, what do you mean I was this tall when you fucking saw me last? Yeah. And now how you feel, Grandma?

Now that you're a boy all big and tall. Yeah, I'm strong and handsome. But isn't there something to that? Like, what do you do for a living? Asking a guy what you do for a living, knowing full well that a certain profession might be attractive to you. Biologically, I'm not saying you're some fucking gold digger at all.

I'm saying like your loins are craving a man who can protect you when you have a kid and you can't work. Your loins. Okay, if you ask about my job, what's up with the aeros? Isn't that the quote? That's a quality. That's a quality. Should we be able to come right back with that what do you do for a living

how big your titties Kev big Kev Hodor you know how often he gets asked how tall are you by women it's unbelievable

the harassment this guy endures no dude ass no dude I don't care exactly how tall are you yeah you tall that was the first thing I asked when I saw him

and then I asked his profession I was like do you play basketball please that was my second question it's like I shoot video for Akash And then I asked his profession. I was like, do you play basketball, please? That was my second question. It's like I shoot video for Akash. Were you dying to ask that question to someone who wasn't black? Finally?

Yes. Can you play basketball? It is nice. Seriously. Finally. I can ask a white guy. I cannot be racist asking that question. Yeah, dude.

I like being white basketball players, too. Those are like my heroes. Why, why, why, why? Because they're overcoming adversity. Yeah, that's true. Yeah. That's true. That's like that Tosh bit where he's like, dude. I like being white basketball players, too. Those are like my heroes. Why, why, why, why? Because they're overcoming adversity, you know? Yeah, that's true. Yeah. That's true. That's like that Tosh bit where he's like, dude, white players, their points should count one extra.

Why? Because it's like, he has a bunch of justifications for it. But he's like, yeah, it's like it's harder for them to score points. So you might as well add a point to every basket they make. And then on top of that, it proves to black people that white people are going to always earn more than them. Yo, Tosh is the GOAT, dude. We got to get Tosh on the podcast. I would love that.

We got to get Tosh on the podcast. I would love that. He's great. Yeah, he's a fucking beast. All right, you want to hit one more? Yep, let's do it. Okay, do you want to talk about, do you want to talk about Jesus and Mero splitting up? Yeah, man.

That's unfortunate. It's sad, yo. It's sad because we've known them since what? Guy Code. Guy Code. Yeah's unfortunate. It's sad, yo. It's sad, because we've known them since what? Guy Code. Guy Code. Yeah. Yeah. And I didn't know

how big they were until we did an AMA for like the first season of Guy Code or whatever we were on. And every question was Desus and Mero. Charlamagne was with us,

Andrew was there, and I assumed all the questions would be them and so many Desus and Mero questions. And the saddest thing is the friendship

seems like it's fucked up. That's what it seems like. I don't know. It doesn't seem like it's amicable. To me, that's the saddest thing and the friendship seems like it's fucked up. That's what it seems like. I don't know. It doesn't seem like it's amicable. To me, that's the saddest thing. And that's like, bro, I always think about that with this. Like the friendship, we always say to each other, friendship got to come first. That is what matters first.

It has to come first. If it ends amicably, hey, everybody's happy. This is what was best. If it ends with the friendship going sour, fuck, dude, that sucks. And also, if you nurture the the friendship then usually the business relationship will be good yeah but it does get harder because you get busier and then the work becomes the friendship and then you have to like it's like a relationship you got to like make time yes that made me be like yo we got to like get dinner or something you don't get time anymore 100%

and like I think one thing that we have that's this very beneficial is that we both have things outside of this thing that nourish us. Yes. So like stand up, like, and I wonder if them not having that was also difficult. I mean, I don't know, but like the idea that you have your own thing or like even having Brilliant Idiots, like another thing that I'm doing outside of this so that there are kind of a, your, your, your identity is, is nourished in that way as well. And we started with that. So when we step out or when you start,

you're still doing stuff on your own. If you start together and then one of you steps out and does your own thing, the other person might be like, yo, what the fuck, yo? We're supposed to be together. You're leaving me. Yeah.

This is understood. Stand up is our love. We're going to do that all the time. Yeah. So I think that helps for sure. Yeah. Having that like thing that you're passionate about. Yeah. Stand-up is the shit, bro.

But also just having a thing that you're passionate about and then everything else is serving that is so valuable when you're an entertainer or whatever. Because if you're an entertainer for entertainer's sake that's tricky yo yeah you might not get that movie roles no more right and then you might have to accept movies you don't like or don't want to do so you could get something right where it's just like as as a stand-up like you get to do your jokes yes that crowd might suck it might be a shitty venue on the road but it's still the thing you want to say and the thing that you want to do your jokes. Yes. That crowd might suck. It might be a shitty venue on the road, but it's still the thing you want to say

and the thing that you want to do. You write the script. Exactly. That is the passion. And there's a muscle that you're working on. I guess if you do a shitty movie, you can like work on the muscle of acting within that movie. But like,

we never have to do the lines that we don't want to do or we don't believe in. Yeah. And like having that thing, and I'm really missing the standup, but like having that thing, I don't know. it's just really, as an entertainer, for me, I could always feel successful,

even if success isn't there, because I'm working towards the thing that I love the most, and that's within my control. Whereas if you're an actor, if you're even a musician and people don't like an album, and now you're like, fuck, man, the fuck am I supposed to do? I might not even have the opportunity to do another album. It's like, I guess with music, you could just make your music. Hmm. That's, maybe it's more vulnerable if you're just like an entertainer,

like where fame is the goal. Yes. Not art is the goal. Maybe that's a more nuanced. I understand that thing that we always joke about, white people tell their kids, like, do what you love. I get, do what you're passionate about, because you can throw yourself into that completely a more nuanced. I understand that thing that we always joke about. White people tell their kids, like, do what you love. I get, do what you're passionate about because you can throw yourself into that completely and be fulfilled. If you're passionate about even acting, like you said, I can take this shitty role and I can be passionate about my craft and work on my craft.

If my passion is just, I want to be famous. Yeah. You're not going to feel full ever. So we're very fortunate in that sense that we're passionate about a thing we can just go work on and that's it. I don't need anything else. Yeah. Yeah, man.

That would suck. Yeah. If fame was success. Yeah. Yeah, because then you can't control your success. And how vulnerable is that? Yeah.

Yeah. Like you, yeah, like you being a successful, I don't know, that's a weird thing. Like once you tie business to it, like success is kind of, kind of has some sort of like monetary output. Yeah. But like being like a successful like restaurant tour or whatever like that, like you don't got to own 50 restaurants.

Right. You could just have the best 10 seat restaurant and be proud of the food you make and make sure that people, like that to you could be success. Yep. Yeah. Once you're, once you're actually like surviving off the art, like that to you could be success. Once you're actually like surviving off the art, after that, it's like what you want.

But fame, there's always going to be someone more famous. Yep. You don't care about the thing you do to get the fame, so now you're going

to be shameless. Yep. That's where you see people get fucked up in the Hollywood system. They got nothing to tie, they can't tie themselves to anything.

But the reward system there is so interesting. I think we've probably spoken about this before. And I'm not trying to be like New York is better than L.A. But in terms of like a city, New York cares about art. Now, I don't mean paintings. Right? I mean like the model that's kind of like weird looking will be the most popular model here you know i'm saying the like the rapper like biggie don't look like he's supposed

to be the biggest rapper in the world but the art was crazy yeah so people are like i don't care if he's cockeyed or fat or all these other things he's just just so nice. We need him. You know? Where... Tupac had a six pack. He's beautiful. LA is like, oh, this is the guy. He's articulate. He's handsome.

He can act. We can put him in movies. Nobody's putting Big in a movie, but the bars were crazy. He's shitting on everybody. So I think it's like, there's something about this city that still has that like

fucking artsy vibe, but we appreciate the creative. Yeah. Not just the hype. And sometimes we even shun the hype. Like if there's something that's fucking artsy vibe, but we appreciate the creative. Yeah. Not just the hype. And sometimes we even shun the hype. Like if there's something that's like really popular here, like New Yorkers can kind of like reject it a little bit. Well, what is theater?

It's acting for not famous people. And for not as much money too. Yes. It's just like the skill. Right. Right? And I think that like, I think LA,

because the machine is built around monetary gain, obviously. There's more of like an industry built around it. And you could probably speak more to this, Dov, but like you need the thing that's popular because that's going to make the most money. Like this is a business here. Yes. It is show business. Literally, show business.

Yeah. And that is going to, the most popular industry in your town is going to inform the culture of the town. If you live in like one of these college towns that's big into sports, like part of the culture is being into Notre Dame. Or being into whatever the soccer team it is that is like runs that little town in England. Yeah. Right? New York celebrates art with museums too.

Yeah. The Guggenheim, they have them all. Yeah. I never thought about it as much, like, how that influences culture. But, like, the fact that we would even go to those museums in, like, elementary school. That's why you got Basquiat and Warhol. Yeah. Artists in residence.

Like, all of that layers so deeply. But they're putting it into you as, like, a kid. And I don't think this is bad. But they're going, hey, these places are valuable. And being in here is valuable. And the city puts money into it. And, like, there's a concerted effort to, like places are valuable. And being in here is valuable. And the city puts money into it, and, like, there's a concerted effort to, like, cultivate that.

To, like, to let you know as a child, like, art has value. Yeah. And I wonder if, like, coming up like that, like, even the guys I gravitated to in stand-up were not the most popular guys. Like, Patrice was not a popular guy, but I was like, you're doing this the best.

Yeah. And even the other comics that I saw, like, you know, mike de stefano and like the greer barnes and like these guys were not necessarily the most famous guy but i was like but you guys are the best yeah and i wonder if that has to do with growing up in a place where like valuing creative or valuing the art what about if you trace it all the way back to its roots like new york like the inception of america like early on, fucking Thoreau was here and Walt Whitman was here. And you hear about all these amazing writers and all this culture that springs up and like, hey, we're not going to, this Central Park, we're not going to touch.

This is not for commerce. You're going to appreciate life. You're going to appreciate art. You're going to appreciate living. Yeah, that is like a unique decision. Yeah, the culture that sprang up was we're not pure capitalism. We are about thoughts. We're about art whatever la was a fucking desert where people were like hey we can make money here yeah the weather's great let's build houses let's build hollywood let's move show

business out here show business is what built la so the culture is fame and show business joey joey had an interesting point i was hanging with joey avery shout out to joey and uh we were just driving he was like yeah they rerouted a bunch of water to like we were in we were in the valley and uh yeah we're all driving around and like the valley was and i'm not talking about like fucking calabasas or whatever like the mountains the nice part i'm talking about like the dry ass valley not a tree in sight just hot as fuck right yeah and i'm like now this is this is not the dream that people say like moving out here and and he goes he goes yeah this is kind of like what L.A. is. I'm like, what are you talking about?

He goes, L.A. is really a desert. The reason the climate is awesome is because you're a desert that they rerouted water to so they could get all these trees. But it wasn't supposed to look like this. They just fucked up the geology and made the perfect place, which is dry with greenery. That doesn't exist really. So you have the perfect climate, and then obviously you build the institutions around it. which is dry with greenery. That doesn't exist, really. Right. So you have the perfect climate, and then obviously you build the institutions around it. So then something phony like show business,

it's completely in line with the culture. It's how the city was built. The whole city is phony. And if, yeah, wow, and if you see even your parents latching on to whatever's popular as a kid, you're also going to latch on to whatever's popular where you grow up in a city that

might have a little bit more counterculture. I know it's crazy to even say that, because New York is like a finance place. Like, that's, I almost think of it now. I'm like, oh, these are where the banks are. Yeah. Like, this is where the money is. It is an odd mix. But there is a fucking artist thing here, man.

Yeah. Like, it's a subculture, the art. And even, like, finance bros, they're called, they're kind of like douchey. Now, every girl that goes, oh, these finance bros is going to marry a finance bro. Eventually, 100%, and they're going to be fine. But the fact that there's even a sentiment that is like... Oh, we don't like them.

Yeah. Okay, I see what you're saying. That they're not like cool. I see. Now, again, I do not believe that women stand by this. I think those exact girls are gonna marry them yeah

but and probably fuck them they're doing fine all the time but like even like clubs will be like ah there's too many

finance dudes in here ah there's too like the Lower East Side was cool and rock star and then it's like ah yeah now it's all finance bros like they speak

they're like they're Russians like they speak about it like that yeah and I wonder if that's like, there is a little like pure artist core in New York. Or maybe I'm looking at the rose colored gold. Oh, for sure.

But it's also like, I'm born and raised in LA. I'm one of maybe 5% of my friends that even went into entertainment. Like really of everyone that I grew up with, you just don't see it. So everyone that does move, once they move to LA, they feel like they're already behind where they moved to Manhattan and they're in that same culture. They're young. Like you,

everybody's struggling. Everyone's struggling. And if you actually feel like you have time to figure out what part of it that you love, what subculture you like, what, what borough, what neighborhood, like you guys get so specific of what you like and you have time to do that. LA, it's like, you learn about it from the last person who just moved there a year before you who's already bitter and telling you this is how the industry works and blah blah so you're five years behind on making connections in la and those connections are going to get to the place of what you want yeah you don't have time it's like almost like college we're like you're going to find your theater nerds you're going to find your gamer dudes you're going to find these little tiny collectives of people.

And you're going to feel like you're not, there's not like a ticking clock behind you a little bit. I think you feel like you have a little time to treat it like a campus. You said that when you came here, you were like, what did you say? It was something about like dating. I'm shocked. Oh, I'm the best thing about dating here. Yeah.

Is age wise they don't treat me like a 38 year old where in LA yeah I was 38 and you've been seeing this meme go around

like 38 in the in the suburbs is 45 38 in the city is 30 like I truly feel that way yeah yeah yeah

and uh which is great first of all but also it makes sense like if you're in the suburbs you move there probably because you're married you're starting a makes sense. Like, if you're in the suburbs, you move there probably because. You're married.

You're starting a family. It's like, why are you 38 in the suburbs alone? Yeah. Yeah. But also here, like. You need some space. Yeah. Less flaking here.

More open to kind of meeting and blah, blah, blah. I don't know. It's been good. I always joke that New York is the only place where, like, when I was 28 in Florida, people were, like, getting married. Everyone was getting married around me. Then you move to New York and you say 28, and I always sort of feel York is the only place where like when I was in 28 in Florida, people were like getting married. Everyone's getting married around me. Then you move to New York and you say 28 and I always sort of feel quote unquote old or whatever. And people go, you could be 32, no money, living with four roommates.

People go, you got time. You're going to figure it out. Like it's the place where you sort of get time to like ease into it. There's no rush. Yeah. Nobody's pressuring you. There's a rush to figure it out, but there's no rush. It's a little Neverland-ish, a little bit, in the sense of

like... I also think, like, in New York, you're coming here for what you believe to be your purpose. Yeah. And when you have your purpose, there's always extra time allotted to you for life's purpose, which is maybe having a family and kids. You know, like, if you're just sitting around and doing nothing

and working at a job you hate, and you're not even starting a family, it's like, what the fuck is going on? Like if you hate your job and you don't want to do anything, bring some children into the world. Enjoy your life with them. Like now you have someone to look forward to every single time you come home from your shitty job. But if you're in a city like New York where you are dedicating fucking 14 hours a day

to this dream of yours. I think people go, Oh yeah, I see why you haven't popped some kids out. Maybe that's my justification for like where I'm at. But everyone in New York, I, this fit my favorite thing about it is even if you have the shitty job, you work at a coffee shop,

they're doing stuff at night. That's their hustle. It's cool as hell. And that's their hustle. And they go, yeah, at night I'm a DJ. You should come out to my thing.

And then you go and you're like, Oh, they're good. And they're like, they're trying so hard, but you go into the suburbs, they get then you go and you're like oh they're good and they're like they're trying so hard but you go into the suburbs they get home at night and they're like all right what's on Netflix whatever and that your hustle makes your day job so much more palatable like being 30 and working at the coffee shop because you're a DJ or you're a comedian you're a filmmaker it's like you're a filmmaker that has to do that on the side. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

That's not the main thing. And it's so much easier to do the job you hate if you know it's providing for that really cool thing that you've been working your ass off at. Sorry, this is unrelated

to what you said, but something you said. I always wondered why people in the city, I grew up in the suburbs and I came to New York and I was like, why does nobody watch sports here?

What the fuck is that? Like, a few people do, but really they don't. It's because in the suburbs, I come home from a job I don't like. I want to watch TV. I have the rest of my night. I don't know what to do.

What's on? Sports is always on. Sports is always new. Sports is always fresh. It's your purpose. Yeah, it fills that void. Here, and I still love sports, but here it's like at night,

I got to go out. I got to do my side hustle. I got to do X, Y, Z. I don't have time to watch this shit. I don't have time to watch this shit because I don't have time to watch sports that much anymore. I still love it from growing up in the suburbs, but I don't get to watch it like I used to. There's things to do, bro.

That's just what it is. Yeah. There's things to fucking do. Yeah. Me and Mark talked about this. Things to do is the worst thing for building a sports franchise. Yes. That's why sports at college cities don't do well.

I was talking to Mark about this. Like the larger cities pro sports college teams yes because we already have yeah exactly enough distraction

yeah Tuscaloosa they're drawing 100,000 people there South Bend, Indiana they're going to have 80,000 people over a school of 8,000

yeah big city schools like New York City schools Chicago schools St. John's, NYU nobody's going to the games. That's what you're saying. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

That's true. There's other things. Do you want to come to our D3 NYU basketball game tonight? Yeah. Or do you want to blow coke with fucking sluts at Gold Bar? Yeah, you want to blow it. I think that's an easy hit. Yes, it is.

I will see you St. John's. All right, Mark. What else we got? Anything else? Yeah. Do you want to speak on the Jack Knight situation? Yes. Yes.

Absolutely. R.I.P. Jack Knight. Jack Knight was a very, very funny. Talented kid, man. Stand-up comedian, voice actor, writer. Yeah, just like a, I mean, I didn't know Jack too well. Like, you know, we would say hello when we met each other.

We'd correspond on Instagram. You probably knew him a little bit. I knew him a little better, but like, I mean, I didn't know Jack too well. Like, you know, we would say hello when we met each other. We'd correspond on Instagram. You probably knew him a little bit. I knew him a little better, but like we weren't super close. Whenever we saw each other, we both just had a lot of love for each other. I always loved this kid. He was young. He was 28. And he was just so full of light, dude.

That's the only way I can describe it. You would just see him and you'd just be like, man, this kid is just full of light. He's so talented so funny so cool yeah and again i'm not close to him at all so maybe the people close to him knew that he was you know you know had some demons etc yeah and but this is one of those from the outside where it was like this is very shocking and comic suicide is not very shocking because you especially if there's like some comics out there who are constantly you know sad depressed etc you're like okay i could see why that happened but from i did not expect this at all at all from that yeah but again i don't know him that well maybe the people close to him were like yeah you know he had uh

he had some real real uh mental issues yeah he was struggling it was sad um sad for me so whoever was really good friends with him to y'all part is with you yeah yeah i know i know sam is close i know langston is close yasser isaiah shouts of love to y'all. Derek was close. Hardest with you. Yeah. Yeah. I know Sam was close. I know Langston is close. Yes, sir. Isaiah. Shout out to love to y'all and then love to Jack and his family.

Like, well, yeah, I'm going to miss that kid, man. Yeah. He was a fucking good kid. Yeah, man. R.I.P. R.I.P. Jack Knight. Love you, buddy.

All right, guys. Well, that was another episode of Flagrant. Thank you guys so much for listening. We will see you on Patreon. Join us on Patreon this Friday. If you're not part of

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