Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh - Ari Shaffir’s Craziest Travel Stories: Exorcisms, Prostitutes, and Magic Mushrooms | #697

Episode Date: March 25, 2026

YERRR – Ari is BACK from his no phone vagabond travels. From Brazilian bathhouses to Bukele’s El Salvador purge, this one’s half adventure, half insanity and all great stories. – Machu Picchu, Bolivia & winging life with no plan – Gangs, soccer, and whether people even understand evil – Joey Diaz, Ali Siddiq & comedy industry greed – Crying, fathers, freedom, and missing the road already – Witches, curses, food poisoning & packing way too light for someone's comfort All that and more on this week’s episode of FLAGRANT. INDULGE. 0:00 Ari is BACK + Nothing really changes 2:50 1st week away + Mind exploded 7:07 meet people, “Theories” + Bath-houses 11:10 Brazil’s the 94yest + Mexican baseball 12:44 Reading, + Aussie Drogas 15:45 Interrogation, El Salvador + Bukele’s purge 25:24 Gangs LOVE soccer + don’t know evil 28:07 Bukele + Ger v Japan 34:30 Making friends, Hostels + Salt 37:30 Bolivia + People have power 42:30 Shaving it off, Touristy stuff + The Chinese 46:54 Machu Picchu 56:27 Winging it, BAGELs+ Solstice to solstice 1:06:52 Colombia, “The End” + Stories 1:25:40 Joey Diaz + Ali Siddiq + Comedy Central greed 1:42:01 “I love wrong” 1:$3:48 The Show must go on + Setting tone 1:52:05 Ari’s MSG prediction, SUPPORT + Need real stories 2:00:37 Dream guest + Importance of Sound 2:08:27 Crying + Relationship with father 2:12:40 Soccer, Sack liquor + Mexican Baseball 2:18:29 Missing the freedom + Sliding Doors moment 2:21:42 Consumed with politics 2:23:27 Food poisoning + Pack super light 2:29:42 Witches, The Curse + Black guinea pigs 2:47:02 World Cup predictions 2:49:11 Charms 2:51:37 Joy in seeing friends + Oasis 2:55:01 Famous comedians + Patagonia 2:57:41 Homesick, Pet tricks + Mexican popcorn 3:00:42 Don’t look at pictures + Support Ari This episode is sponsored by Kalshi. This episode is sponsored by Sesh. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What's up, everybody, and welcome to Flaigrants. And today, we are joined by our dear friend, Ari Shafir. He is back. Bye, my, thank. Oh, thanks, everybody. Ari is back. You got dressed up for you. You got dressed up for us.

You're going for eight months. For people who don't know, you do this very cool thing where you tour stand up for a while. That is cool. That is cool. You should try it. You should try it. My manager would like that. So did my agent.

These basketball teams are like, we have off nights. Yeah. But yeah, you go for like a year or two. They put us something out and then you don't just go away. You like go away away. I go away. No phone. Yeah, no phone.

Or I got a new number so I can like deal with stuff while I'm gone. Do you not do like the, what is it called? You know, lock myself out of email. No, no, no. There's like a, it's called a stupid phone or something. A dumb phone. Yeah, dumb phone. Yeah, yeah.

Where you can just text and. No, but I mean, I gave up all my numbers. I didn't like take any of my numbers. So nobody could message you. Nobody could message me. Okay. And you go away for eight months? Yeah, I didn't want any of the people.

Like, well, I want to be able to text you. I'm like, well, for what? What are you going to tell me? How do DEI hires are ruining America? You'll cover everything so I'm back. Okay. I don't need to know any of this. We need to fill you in on so many stuff.

I know, that's so 2023 right there. Okay. Okay. Okay. Let me just tell you. I've been off the news before I left. But for real, since July, I don't know anything. Anything.

Legitimately nothing. You're in the right place. So anything you tell me now, hold on, how do we do this the best? Yeah. Put a couple lies in here. So I don't know what's real. We would be more than happy. Okay.

Okay. But yeah. But yeah, I'm also not interested in hearing all the shit. Yeah. You are probably right to not be interested. Because nothing really changes. Yeah. I mean, everything changes and the world's falling apart, but like, to you, is it?

I don't know, everyone's still alive. Yeah. Yeah, I don't. So we were just angry for eight months for nothing. Cycles of like, we're supposed to care about this for a week or two. Yeah. I don't think anything didn't get covered. Yeah.

Taking care of while I was gone. My interest in it isn't going to affect it. Yeah. It's almost like we could all turn our phones off for a minute. It's almost like that. It's almost like I can sit this one out. It's almost like the Hasidic Jews had it right all along. You know?

Whoa, is that? Throw your phone. You do have a way of looking painfully Jewish when you come back. You throw your phone. I want to ask for a loan right now. Denied. Okay, okay. Take us to this like euphoric, like the first week, what is it like?

Do you reach for the phone at all? Like, give us the first week away. So, okay. Yeah, great. First week is a dopamine drop. So you're sad. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. It's like whatever you get on that that keeps you like temporarily entertained and then like long-term depression. Yeah. You're not getting it. Yeah. So you're like, I withdrawal symptoms. And what is, how do the withdrawal manifest? Cranky.

It's like giving up cigarettes or giving up any drug. Really? It's like my emotions aren't right. Yeah. Imagine taking a shit and not having to something to scroll through. I would rather my phone and toilet paper. Yeah. You gotta read the back of my phone and toilet paper when I go take a shit.

Yeah, exactly. So wait, so what do you do? You got to read the back of a fucking raid can. I realize that shit. Okay, all right, so where does the most of the boredom hit you? Like when you're in a new city, it's fun. You're seeing streets you've never seen, you're interacting with people. But I've met too many people at hostels that are like, I fucked up and I spent all night

scrolling Facebook or something. Facebook that means they're foreign, but like and then like oh, I couldn't go out with everybody the next day because I was tired. And you're like, you fucked up. You're in some crazy cool place. You just got connected at home. Yeah, you're right. And they know, they're like, yeah, I messed up. Yeah, but they're addicted. But give me the first

experience of the company. Okay, so first I'm like, I got to do something. I was at a beach, which was really helpful. Where? Mexico. Okay. Some tiny kind of beach in shoulder season. And it was just like, I decided. I think my friend Rolf Potts, the writer, he goes, get to a beach right away.

So you lose track of time. And I decided I'm going to stay there until I don't feel connected. Because I've got six months. It's not a two-week vacation that I've got to like get going. I'm like, I'm going to stay. So there were like four days, not nearly enough, six days.

And after about eight or nine days, I was like, I think I'm good. I was checking Yankees scores for like the first four or five days. Laptop? No, I had a phone, but it just changed my number. And I got a new phone. So I didn't take any context on it. No social media, but you still have it.

None. Yeah. And then I realized like this is even, even ESPN.com is connecting me to, so I was like, you know what, I'm going to log back in. I checked the date when it's about a week off in the playoffs. I'll see if they in it. Yeah. They were. Yeah. I stayed with them until they got eliminated.

And then I went right back off. Wow. Wow. Yeah. But then I filled in. Wahaka, I found a fucking local baseball team that was head. into playoff season. Okay, so you find

Yeah, the Guerreros. Shout out Guerreros. Yeah. Number one team in Mexico League Baseball. Got it. MBL. So you just replace it.

We still need distraction. There's in this world where we're just going to like stare off into the distance and feel happy. We just can replace it with like a more satisfying fun new things.

Do you think of better ideas in the silence? Bro. Yes. I really want you to say no. No. No. No.

I don't know. Jerking off all day. Yeah, I started jerking off like this, sideways and double-handed. And I was like, I never would have come up to that I had to turn emails. The Indian burn. The Indian burn's a classic. Because it's like all day, I'm like on my

my bike, I'm listening to music, I go home, I put on a podcast, I've got a YouTube video, I'm going to sleep. It's just like nonstop. It's clutter. And then I'm in the shower and I'm like, I always think of good ideas in the shower. Bro, this is going to sound legitimately gay. And I hope, if Shane Gillis, if you're watching, turn this off, because I know you'll make fun of me.

Yeah. My mind exploded after about two weeks. with just thoughts. I was just like, just like firing on all cylinders. Like what? Just new thoughts,

creative ideas, the show that I just put out, I figured out a way to like, to start it and frame it all. I was like, oh, I know how to frame it as a book with chapters.

I just didn't have time to think. That's what I did. I came up with Jew when I was in Southeast Asia where I was like, oh, I want to do it about the, and I'm not rushed in. Yeah.

Let me, how would I cover it? How would I do it all? Yeah. Yeah, you just think clearly. There's no emails to get back there. This sounds awesome. I wish I could do this shit. You can.

Are you with a group of people or you're alone? Yeah, you meet people. Yeah. Meet people at hostels. Oh, you're like at hostels. Oh, wow. It's the most social way to do it. That's also the best way to do.

I've seen people that go on like trips and they'll go to Peru and the state of resort with a bunch of French people. Yeah. What's the point? You're not taking it in. You're staying in America in Peru. Yeah, I mean, there's meeting locals, and then there's meeting other travelers, which is mostly what I did. Yeah.

This was easier than Southeast Asia, because at least it was one language. You're fluent in Spanish. I can speak. Yeah. You start to excel and really actually talk to people. Yeah, it's great. And find out, like, oh, my theories about you were wrong. I met some guy in Peru.

I love how you said theories instead of stereotypes. Yeah. Tell us your theory. I was like, can be good. I'm not using that. I have a Chinese tourist. I can get in trouble with my. I have a theory that you're going to steal.

My theory is you can't spell theory. Yeah, like you meet villagers. How many kids are like one? Like, one kid? And they're like, they're spentive. I'm like, I wouldn't have thought you would think that way. Yeah. Oh, okay.

You're just like humanized people that you're like. Because they don't have Mexicans to look after them. Right. Yeah, yeah. They got to do it themselves. Yeah. Yeah. They're paying full freight, right?

Yeah. Yeah. And then like nothing is political to them. They're like, God, rained early this year. I don't know. Like climate change? I'm like, yeah, what is that? Change? Combio to climate?

Yeah, maybe. Yeah, it has combioed a little bit. Is that right way or left wing? Like, I mean, it's a farmer's almanac, you. I don't know what this is related to. Okay, brain is exploding. You actually think, it is funny because I always complain to the guys here after having two kids. I have no time to think.

Yeah. And I really just have no time to scroll. forever. Like, I don't know if I had that much time where I just sat around fucking pondering. Put it away. Yeah, I got it. It's so hard to put away.

Why? You did it for eight months. Why is it hard? Well, I had to exit. I can't do it here. Even if you lock yourself. Dude, I would argue what you did. Yeah.

It's more difficult to put it. When I'm on vacation, there's nothing stopping me from scrolling. I only podcast to not scroll. That's not bad. Put away your phone. We just a half a three days a week so I can have a fucking break. Yeah.

And sometimes he forget and still takes my phone in my pocket. That's a Tim Robinson's sketch. If I lose an argument, I'll go on my phone in the middle of it. Yeah, I mean, yeah, it's like one big step and then you're free. Just Schwarz, same thing. Yeah. You go to the Schwarz. Like, you're out of it.

Can you explain to them what the schvitz is? Yeah, yeah. Can you explain to the goys what the schvitz is? It's like a song. You had a theory. I wouldn't know what that was. Jews and gays, know it. And Russians.

It's like the sauna. It's like sauna cold punch that kind. Oh, like a bath house. Yeah, a bathhouse. Okay, okay. By the way, New York is one of the few places where a bathhouse does not mean gay hookup site. Is that right? Yeah, you go out and find a bathhouse in Portland.

And it's like, ah. No way. Went to a bathhouse in Barcelona, that was a mistake. Really? Naked dudes everywhere. Well, no, that doesn't mean they're gay. No, no, but there was like stuff going on. Alginz assumes men

these fucking locker rooms are gay No but they was Huckin up in the locker rooms You saw the guy sweat To gays Nothing stopped Nothing stops

It's amazing That's what happens The perseverance No it's not It's just women stop us Right So when it's just another guy Where's the break pad

She's like I got to you like sure Yeah why not I'm not scrolling That's scrolling Carnival in Brazil Well there's like gay sections and then like some guy will step like they'll be talking and some guy walk by

and they just like touch their pecks like this and then go and then back to their conversation What? Like it's a museum It's like a dog You just like pet it a little bit, move on I'm allowed

I saw you talking about that Brazil is the gayest place you've ever been How? It's so, it's gay friendly They're everywhere Really? I mean I've been to San Francisco Nothing. No offense, San Francisco It's all. It's all. All of Brazil.

Really? Yeah. And they don't care there. But they're all in the baddest women. Yeah. Well, that's why they're so hot because they're trying to compete.

They got to work harder. Yeah. Pressure makes diamonds. Yeah. Oh, the butts are shaped different there. Yeah. The bathing suits are made different because our bathing suits wouldn't fit them. And what about the women's butts?

Son of a bear. Cut that. Disrespectful. Disrespectful. All right. It's been eight months away. deal with this shit All right

So you take on You bought the Mexican baseball team? Yeah, the Guerrero's. I'm like sick They're my team now Follow them all the way through Guatemala You can go like pirate this game In a bar

Like we can play anything on YouTube Nobody cares about us Yeah Why'd you pick them? You just saw the game They had There was like there's a team in In

There's a Mexican baseball league And there was a team in Wohawk And was like Ah this season just ended And like playoffs Shit, they're the third seed. I'm following them. Go to a game. It's so much fun. I was like, I didn't

eat that day because I was like, I'm going to get a hot dog. I didn't eat late. I'm going to get a hot dog at a game. No, I'm full burrito plate. 12-year-old real, legit 12-year-old. Like, what are you selling? What are you selling? I'm trying to think what is my life without scrolling?

What is my life without the phone? I brought a book of short stories with me, like best short stories of the year that come out every year, and I read like four of them. I carried this book around with me for eight months. And I read four of them. Yeah, no, I was journaling sometimes. Okay.

But that's just so I can remember shit later. Yeah. Drugs. Yeah. Women? Yeah. Yeah, fucked a little bit. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah, drugs is great. Finding weed is like an adventure Every time Because I don't go over borders with it Smart So yeah So whatever I have

I'm like dump start over Dump start over It's always an adventure to find weed Why is it an adventure to find weed where they make it You gotta find It was easier Pictures are easier

They just come by Like who wants joints And then other countries Like you gotta find a guy Making his own jewelry In like a town square And then you're like Dude got a little something

Yeah And if they're like No I don't sell But they're gonna be like I know they wait here So yeah, that's fun. Coke, mushrooms. Yeah, if you meet in Australia, you're doing Coke.

Why do they love it? We were trying to solve this, but they love it. Australians love it. They get the worst for coke in the world. They're all cut up and shit and expensive, so when they go anywhere else, they're like, I've never experienced coke like this. But they also love it there.

They love it there, and it's so bad. Yeah. Yeah. And why is it? You think you could get good Coke to Australia. It's not this. I think they have to put up with the action. I need to forget.

I need to get it. But it's all coastline. You don't think you can sneak some coke into Australia? Who's swimming there? Far away. Yeah. Get a boat.

And they also have the strictest border control. Yeah. You remember going through Australian security. Oh yeah, because they've got to deal with the Asians, yeah. No, it is the funniest point. He pointed out to me. We were looking at the immigration forum and it was like, have you been near cattle?

And I was like, okay, we've seen that. You know, you touched fireworks. We're like, all right, you know, whatever. It was like, do you have an insect? in your bag. Are you traveling? Like a good luck insect? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Are you transporting like a raw turkey in a box in the overhead? No, livestock. They would ask you, are you bringing any livestock? Asians are wild. It says fine food, but they don't trust it. They don't trust it. They're like, we're not going to be able to get a chicken in Australia. They just take the chicken with them.

For real. There's a whole show about this. There's like a custom show. Yeah, it's literally like border patrol. But in Australia. Yeah. And the whole thing is predicated. on Asians bringing wild shit

Australia. They should ask on that form like, will you take a picture with an iPad in front of people? Have you done that in the last 30 days? Have you blocked a sunset to take a picture with a laptop? You cannot come in here. What was your least favorite?

Worst tourists in the world, mainlanders, what? What's your least favorite place you go to? On this trip. I mean, they were all so fun. Nicaragua was tough. Wait, why? They didn't let me in.

What do you mean? They said no. I took a two and a half hour boat from El Salvador, land. Then they're like, they check for drones. Drones are illegal. Press is illegal. I'm not press, but I guess not enough to them. So they saw the podcast?

Did they do like a... They start calling Managua. This guy's on the phone, grilling me. I mean, so everyone else, like one at a time, stamp, go stamp. Ari Sharfair, I'm playing with a street dog. Oh, you've got a travel show, dude. That's probably what it is. Yeah.

But it wasn't, it was two and a half hours of interrogation. It was come in. I'm like, come in. I don't remember anyone else going in. And then they go close the door behind you. I'm like, what? You couldn't sneak into Nicaragua. How are they getting in here?

What sales do they have that I don't have? That's a one way of a. You're an American prisoner is getting sent. You're going to directly, man. You willingly wanted to go in that. It seems suspicious. What are you going to do here? They go, you have a lot of Instagram followers, huh?

And I was like, Schultz does not agree. Don't say, he says, I don't have me, you know. He says, I'm not committing hard. That's a growing my fan base. I'm like, thank you. My friends actually mock me. Yeah, and they go, and then they ask me what I do, how many people I play for?

How much do I sell? I'll take it's for, and then calls from Monagra, calls from Monagra every 20 minutes. And the guy's cool, he's talking to me. And then hold on, phone's ringing. What are you planning on doing here? I don't know, go to cigar places, which ones? Okay, cool, then talking again.

Wow. They were really friendly. They brought me a cigar. And then they just said, no. The guy said, I'm really sorry, man. He got the final call. His voice went down. He goes, you got to go back.

Go back to... El Salvador? So you just turn around, and they put you on a bus. They put me on a boat, back to... Back to the border town in El Salvador. I land and they're like, what? What are you doing here? We just sent you off seven hours ago.

And I'm like, yeah, I don't know. So now is El Salvador a little worried? They're like, why'd they say no to you? No, it happens all the time. Actually, he said he couldn't talk to me because I was like, does this happen all the time? He goes, he was getting shady, the captain. And he goes, and then finally he was like, oh, I'll talk to him.

Like, what was going on? He goes, that was the on the boat back with you, was the Nicaraguan, like, border force chief. So I couldn't, like, speak freely in front of him. Oh, shit. Whoa. Because this happens, like, once every week or two. Did they warn you about it before?

Like, hey, just so you know, they've been turning people away. No, but I did just warn somebody who's getting married to Nicaragua. I was like, wipe everyone's LinkedIn with any journalism shit. Unlike all of that. They will Google you. You don't want the in-laws going, in which case. You didn't try to just slip them something? I didn't think of it.

But, man, bribes are fun. mean and it works in Mexico all of all of us that. But does it work at the fucking border? It's tough. Totalitarian regime. At minimum, they're going to go, I can't. They're not going to be that bad. You just like drop it.

Yeah. Like, you're like, oh, whoops. And then, you know. Here's a nickel change of life. That's true. Yeah. I wasn't thinking clearly. Absolutely.

I should have done that. I got some stuff. All right, guys, here's all our dates in 30 seconds. First of all, Nashville. Thank you guys so much for the soul that weekend. Love seeing you guys. Great to be back out on stage again. This weekend we got Rhode Island, okay, Saturday at the Providence Performing Arts Center. Then May 8th, Los Angeles, Jelly Rolls Show, part of the Netflix as a joke festival. And then August 8th, Halifax,

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That's C-A-R-G-U-R-U-S dot CA. Carguaroos.com. Oh, it's me. Nice. Guys, I'm going to be doing my monthly show at Mary Lou on March 31st. And then I'm doing a show at SESH comedy on April 3rd. That's like a headlining show. We've got a magician coming through a bunch of other comedians.

That's kind of a fun vibe. And then Mike drop in Plano, Texas, Chandler, Arizona, Pasadena, San Diego, all happened at the end of the year. And Detroit, too. See you there. How clean is El Salvador? Gore. A suburb is one of the most interesting places I went to. Yeah, that's what I want to...

What is the feeling there? Because they clean the whole thing up, right? This is the perception. So when you go to these places, you are at a crossroads of, I know things about the world that was given to me. And then here's my actual now... Opinion on it. You're like, oh, talked to Rogan. And he's like, I remember once we were on...

And Norman mentioned, I took the subway over there. And Joe's like, took the subway? And Mark's like, yeah? And Joe's like, why? He goes, it's faster? Because in Joe's world, everyone's getting pushed every time you take the subway. Right.

And you're like, if you actually came here, that's just not the reality. It's bumps pushing bums. Which would be, oh, what a good TV show. Bums pushing bombs on subway tracks. Bum fights. You don't remember that already? That was classic.

Yeah, it's classic. That's a squid game when subway's coming. I'm like, you go in. Yeah, so it's that. So El Salvador, whatever media told me like this guy's a totalitarian. Used to be the highest murder rate in South America or the Americas in general.

And now he cleaned it up and it's the safest country. Gangs are done. Done. Yeah. He said, he didn't even go, I'm giving you a week to clean up. He goes, I'm coming for you now. Now. Arrested or killed. Every one of them.

And I had this thing in my head that I kind of, they were like, if you have tattoos, they'll take away your civil rights and maybe put you in jail for tattoos. And you get there like, no. It's specific. tattoos. Yeah. It is, here's a loved one I've rich.

Oof. Yes. Street cred for raping a sister or something like that. Here's the badge number of a cop I killed. Those are the tattoos. And so they might go, let me see your arm, let me see your tattoos. And then they go, that's fine, go. They're not just arresting random people.

People there seem to be supportive? Beyond. They had no country. Wow. I took a tour in Santa Marta and it was this guy, he was cool. He goes, He was like, okay, I'll show you the church, whatever. And he goes, hey, if you guys want now, it's up to you. I can show you the sites.

Or you can ask me real questions. We go to a coffee shop, no one's listening. I love the fire. Yes. Okay, so what happens? So my first question was like, hey, how come from the Guatemala to here border, so indigenous, all the... And then as soon as you get over the border, it's not even... None.

They go, oh, look it up. In like the 40s or 70s, there was a bounty on their heads, and they murdered all of them. In El Salvador, they murdered all the indigenous population. Whoa. Yeah. So the rest went into hiding and now there just is no... 70s is wild. Yeah, it was late. Like the 1970s?

Yeah, 1970s or 40s. I don't remember but it was pretty recent. And so it was like, good answer. But then he's like... I thought it was something else. A truceal answer. There was something else. I don't know.

He meant solution. That was a good answer to the question, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. So this guy had left. This guy had left. Shout out Jorge. Horre is walking towards. But he goes, look around.

He left and came back. He goes, every one of my friends, when I left at 12, is dead or in prison. I don't have any left that are not dead or in prison. He goes, look around. There is not a single man between 20 and 40 years. Whoa. They lost their country to gangs. It wasn't like crime is tough.

It's on another level that we don't really understand. So it needed an extreme response, or at least that's how they would justify it. Yes. Did you ask? So everyone I met, like, this guy's a hero. Of course, of course. What do you think of a guy? He's the best.

I was there for their July 4th. Oh, wow. And they're like, we couldn't do this. People taking their young daughters. Like, I couldn't have done this three years ago, four years ago. I'm showing her the capital for the first time. And then they were like, where are you from? Like New York.

Like, is that America? And I'm like, yeah. They're like, what's it like there? They were so, everywhere else like Gringos go home there. They're like, tell people, it's safe, come. Wow. They were so open and fresh and new. It was just really interesting.

Did he say anything critical? Did you ask? Yeah, so some people. go, he extended his term limits. But this guy also arrested a bunch of senators and congressmen one day. He went in, said, open your books, I'm going to

balance your budgets, whatever, and he goes, now I'm going to look deeper. If you've taken a bribe from a gang, you're going to jail today. Yeah. And wheeled them all out. Wow. Like that day, that's fire. Fire. Yes, fire. It's the most fire. The concern

is always, like, what happens when people stay in power? So that's it. So, like, what if he doesn't give power? like, it's better than it was. If he becomes a king, it's better than it was. If you're a good king, it's fine. But, like, Saddam did the purge also. They love it.

Everybody does the purge. Yeah. And eventually you get high off your own supply and absolute power corrupts, absolutely. That is the concern. But I'm just curious. He doesn't take a paycheck. Doesn't get paid for being president.

I don't like that. What is it? He has like a patron? He's like, we lost our country. What's his thing? How does he make money? Yeah. He makes Andy crafts on Etsy.

He's trying to bring back Indigenous rights. Yeah, it's kind of crazy, but everyone there loves it. The people who left and came back, they're the ones going, I'm not sure. Yeah, tell me what they say? Give me the pushback. They go, what if he never gives up power? Because they weren't there. I'm going to tell you a story, and you can cut this out if you want.

But this is what the captain told me in this port town. He goes, they got so high on power, you should consider cutting this out. But they got so high on power. They got into witchcraft. They thought they were unstoppable. And they got to a point where they were finding pregnant women, cutting their fetuses out, and playing soccer with it.

Who is they? The cartels? The gang. Yeah. Holy moly. So you can't have a society like that. So they are like this guy, Buckelly, is a god. They love it. It is Dave. It's just a thing.

It wasn't about the abortion. No, they love soccer. Like, think about how much you got to love soccer. And it does kind of look like a ball. Think about it. The first thing they do after the witchcraft is, you're trying to play some soccer? They could have just done the cauldron and do whatever.

I don't even think they want to do witchcraft, bro. They just know. I think they're like, do you have a ball? They're like, no. She does. Mark does. And us fat Americans put babies on pizzas and shit like that. This is horrible, but it's so funny.

We put the babies on food. They play soccer. That is the difference. That is the difference. And we're all going to hell. We're going to see them down there. Hey, guys. We'll see you soon.

But wait, we've to cut it out because it's graphic? It's just, like, no one wants to hear this. Oh, yeah. I thought it was going to be that. to. It's up to you. I thought you're going to confess a crime or something. I thought you're going to say you did it.

So I gave a baseball. Did you play any soccer? It's all bounced funny. I couldn't put my finger on it. But it wasn't taking true bounces. Just funny hops every time. Every time it's a goal.

It's like, whee! Okay. Okay. Stop yourself. I stopped myself. I could have. Stop.

So that was an interesting thing. to face like what I had heard about a place so we don't know the evils that were transpiring at the time what we're hearing is gang activity and we have our own interpretations exactly right and what their justification is is literally we didn't have a

country anymore every young man was in a gang and they were doing the absolutely most insane shit ever and then this guy comes around and he has the courage to fight it to spite of putting his life on the line and you hope that it wouldn't devolve into another abuse of power in the way that the cartels are abusing power

Right. But also, right, but it's so much that it doesn't matter. But then I think, okay, so like, remember when like, I don't get to like vaccine shit? Remember those commercials like sponsored by Pfizer? Sponsored by Pfizer? We see all the news and you're like, oh, and the news is the one pushing, you have to get these. Yeah, it seems like they're. Yeah. It's like, okay, I see where they're vested interests of this.

Yeah. Of making me think I need this thing. Right or wrong. I see why they want me to think it. Of course. So what is it about the media here that got. me into my head thinking this guy's evil. What

are they gaining by that? And I don't I don't know. But it's, these aren't my own, I didn't do the research to come up with that. It was given to me. Right. And what do you think it is? Because it's not all. They're doing deals with China and they

go, no, we want in there. So I didn't hear anything about I didn't hear anything negative about him. I thought he was actually celebrated, to be honest, like early on. No. When he first started,

no, when he first started, I heard a lot of celebrations around him. Oh. I mean, Buckele is his name, right? Yeah. And then I remember

there were certain things happening like, remember he like took a big stake in Bitcoin or something or made Bitcoin currency. He tried to make the country go Bitcoin. He's only concerned with helping out of the countries.

So they were using the US dollar. Right. Which is like Ecuador does. A lot of countries do, Cambodia. Yeah. But like, and somebody,

I think a Bitcoin guy reached out to him on Twitter and goes, let me help your currency. You should destabilize it or whatever it's called and go with that. I'm listening. Come down. Let's meet.

And maybe that threatens like American hegemony in the region. That's it. Where they talk about the gold standard shit that I don't understand? Maybe it's that. But like it seems to me that you know, if he's... And then he talks to Trump, which the liberals will go, fuck you, how dare you. Yeah. But this guy's, by the way, right now, he goes, open a business here.

No taxes. Zero. Wow. For like five years until we revisit and we won't ever back that. That's the tricky thing with the investment I imagine in any place in the third world which is like how can I ensure the safety? It's just the risk. It's not even third world. It's like I'd love to open a restaurant in

downtown or what's it called the South Side of Chicago. Downtown Bay route. Yeah. Downtown Bayruth. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think it's two things where like Americans have such a premium on freedom that oh, this person gets locked at because their uncle was in a

gang goes against like the our ethos. But then in addition to that, I think any type of like authoritarian strong men in Central America, really around the world that doesn't have like absolute fealty to America gets a bad rap. Either through a who or through a media campaign. Yeah, it could be

that for sure to not using the dollar. Yeah, it could be a lot of stuff. We also don't want that trend to continue in America, right? It's like we don't want this guy to all of a sudden one guy takes total control and the country starts doing amazing and then you don't want Americans to be like, that kind sounds like a good idea. Yeah, exactly.

So, yeah, that's a... But it's interesting. It's interesting going to these places, I'm like, this isn't what I heard. So the feeling was love and support, and it wasn't love and support out of fear. Like, if I say something bad, I could get arrested. It was love and support out of we have a way of life now.

Did you talk to people whose family members were unfairly arrested? Like, did you hear any of those stories? Like, oh, my cousin got jammed up and it wasn't his fault. So Jorge has a lot of tattoos. This guy gives doors. And he goes, I get harassed. I get strip searched. That is annoying.

That's the cost. It's beyond annoying. It's, I'm trying to do my... my day, I assume it's kind of like if you have a nice car, maybe not in New York, but from what I remember in college, it was like, I'm black, I have a nice car, I can't make movies on time because there's a chance I get pulled over.

They used to have, like, stop and frisk here, like, crazy, and I used to get pulled over all the time. Yeah, and after a while, you're like, and that's the resistance. We're like, get off me. Oh, you fucked up. And that's like, look at the time. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And so that's annoying for him, but he wasn't there

watching some of this terrible stuff. Oh, he moved there. His parents sent him away to Guatemala. So he came back, and his 20s. By the way, side effect of no man between 20 and 40? Eat Fox. That was the other thing I was going to ask. They said that about Russia post-World War II. Like 25 million

dudes or whatever get murdered. Now you're like, I'm not committing. No, they said that like every dude would have five or six chicks and he could be an absolute alcoholic and the women just had to put up it. It's like one to two. I mean, like I think like a quarter of the population dies. Yeah. Oh yeah.

What happens to the population now that you don't? They get weird. Like it's going to decline in sheriff. Well, sometimes there's a sexual revolution, right? Because the chick's got to be a little bit more open or else you're never going to have a guy. Two things can happen. This is just like Germany and Japan facing the horrors that happen to World War II.

So Germany, their music and their styles, went very industrial, dance like this now, you know, in like warehouses. Japan went into, if you could kill a million people in a second, they went fetal. They went feral, not feral. It's a childlike. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

They love Hello Kitty. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They do that where it's like, we can't be adults in this world. Whoa. Interesting. That's definitely with the women there. When I was in Japan, I noticed that. I was like, oh, there's no, there's no, like, elegance.

There's cutesy. Cutsi, right. Women are cutesy. But they're not, like, there's no, like, 34-year-old, beautiful, elegant woman that you see. It's just teenage, tiny, and then, like, grandmas. there's this gap and I don't know if like it is weird because if you're like a 20 year old dude

like are you kind of into that you become into it then it is odd yeah what about all the broken homes because like now you have a bunch of houses where no dad's there and stuff like what do the girls acting like in El Salvador?

Yeah I didn't really I didn't really meet many locals in El Salvador I don't know with like a German couple I didn't really meet I didn't really meet locals there a couple but like not really That is the thing that happens when you're traveling is like even when you meet the people who live there, they're kind of like you and that they're a little bit outsiders as well. Do you find this?

Like when I live in Spain, like all of my friends, they were from Spain. But it was like his dad was the first black dude in San Sebastian. That's why he'd be friends with you. Because he's like, I'm a little bit of an outsider here too. So you end up kind of connecting with the people who are going through the experience in the same way. When did you live in Spain? Took a year off college Interesting, capier.

Good idea. What's your pickup line when you're trying to make friends? If you're traveling alone and you want to not be alone, what do you do? So if you go through like loneliness and then like social, loneliness and social. So one weapon I have is that I have some minor level of fame. And I didn't get recognized a lot. But when I do at a hostel, it's a weapon. I'm like, we're going.

in Peru this guy was like this New Zealand guy was like you could tell when somebody recognized you and it's like and then I saw him do that I'm like fine whatever but I was also feeling like I'm lonely yeah and he goes what's your name like you know what my fucking name is he said that too yeah yeah and he's like what are you doing here I'm like I heard there's some New Zealand pedophiles that I got to find you want to get me a drink and he's like all right and now it's like you know that night he's got Australia friends we're doing blow in the bathroom and it's like let's go that's funny I'm surprised not sad for you. Like, what are you doing at a hostel?

That's why they're not clapping. This guy's rich. I thought, damn, if you can't afford a hotel, that's the upside for us. I love hostels. They're so fun. It's just other travelers talking about where else they've been. Like Bolivia, I was like, I don't go to Bolivia. And everyone you meet in Guatemala, I was like, no, Bolivia rules.

Did you do the, what is that, salt flats? Yeah. What is it called? The Uni Salt Flats. Yeah, what is it like? What is that? Can we get a take? It looks like snow. It looks like a snow. It's salt that has come up.

Look at this. Yeah. So that's when it rains. When it rains, I didn't go in that season. It's just sheer, it looks like a glass. And the perfect reflection of the sky. But all the ground is and all the water, see the grid over there looks like a soccer ball? So the water's trying to escape and it comes up in these like grid.

But it's just for forever. Oh, wow. I mean, miles and miles. They love soccer, bro. Love soccer. Big, big soccer fan. So wait, and what do you do there? Because it's like, what, four hours, six hours?

I stayed in a salt hotel. The walls are lickable. No. Yeah? Yeah, like everything is carved out of salt. Do you think there's some guy who jerks off on the wall like, man, when someone licks it? I know there was one. Every hotel.

Alex stays in as a salt hotel. I actually know that there was that. Okay, okay. You're saying salt hotel. Yeah, solitaire. You go on these hides. You bike over it. It's just like cool to see.

Yeah. Yeah, there's no way like culture. They just like mine it. If people live out there, it's a tourist thing. No, they did for a while. And then like they mine it for commerce. And now they're like, it's also a tourist thing. Because it is like pretty.

There's an island on it. It comes up and it's like cacti. And then like it just looks like snow. And also the distance effect is weird. So you can take pictures like that. See that chick on the right? So you can't tell how far everything is. God, because it's so flat.

Yeah. I took a picture. All I had with me was Bert's shoes. So I took a picture with these giant Bert shoes with me leaning on them. Yeah. I got to send them to. Yeah. Yeah. Isn't that weird? And they're just like further. Wow. That's sick. Yeah, it's they're fun to take. Okay, the rest of Bolivia. How was the rest of Olivia? Sick. This is your first time to Bolivia? Yeah. You've been? No, but it's been a place I wanted to check out.

Yeah, very interesting culture. I was there when they like got rid of the, their leader. Dude, I was in two places where they got rid of their leader while I was there. Do you fuck? Yeah. I put Bolivia and Iran. I was in Abanghai. I was in Abanghai. I was in Aungkite. At nothing town. He's massage. It happened to be in all these money for twosan. That's how you don't go to Nicaragua. He's like, I just came back from Venezuela.

What kind of CIA office is? That is crazy. You were in South America while all this shit went down. Yeah. I was in the same. that the president was from when they got rid of her. It got rid of means what? There's some form of a... It wasn't, no, it wasn't like pitchforks. Okay, okay.

And so, which was interesting. And then that same city was in nothing town. I was trying to ameliorate, is that right, to Cusco, to get used to the altitude. Okay, yeah. He'd stop in a town one day. Yeah. Yeah, they're like, she's from here and they got rid of it because she wasn't hard enough on crime. They saw what Buckelly was doing.

And they're like, we want that. And they're like, yeah, how come we're, how come our fucking bus drivers are getting murdered by Venezuelan gangs. Yeah. Because you can't fucking do anything. They're shaked down these bus drivers for like a buck a day, but they're like, that's killing me. Yeah. One bus driver said, no, I'm not paying you guys anymore. They just like, well, we've got to kill you.

Massive protests in the streets, and then they got rid of her. And then the leader of Congress took over. And then you could ask questions. And I'm like, why was it the leader of Congress? You don't have, like, vice presidents here? I just like want to know about their system. And they go, no, no, she was the vice president. We got rid of the president a year ago.

She was the vice president She took over We got rid of her It's like they just go We're done with you They have power down there Kind of cool The people have power

I mean that is democracy in action They're so crooked everywhere But the people can do stuff And the people are aware of how crooked it is Yet they don't accept it Whereas in other parts of the world They know that the government is crooked They just kind of accept this as the status quo

Is why on Australia they just do blow and get drunk Because we know it's crooked So it is what it is Why the fuck are we gonna fight? Here we still think we have have a chance to change it. When we don't, they're like, we know we don't. Let's drink.

And the standard of living is good enough, I guess. That's right. I think that's the difference. It's like, if the standard of living isn't good enough, you're like, well, if we're going to suffer, we might as well fight this shit. If there's cocaine that's just good enough and the weather's perfect every single day and I can go to the fucking beach and everybody's in good shape, what am I going to bitch about the government for?

So I was taking the Spanish class in the north. And the guy at the end of class every day, he goes, let's talk about, let's use your Spanish and talk about the culture here so we can actually put your Spanish into play. Every month or so, I'm like, let me take a couple days. Class. Smart. So I can get by better. Yeah.

I see, like, I'm hitting a wall in my conversation. This isn't fun. Let me stop. And he was talking about the government. He goes, Trump's your guy, right? I'm like, yeah, he goes, everybody thinks he's crooked. I'm like, yeah, he goes. So there, he controls Congress and Senate maybe, but he doesn't control the media.

Here, they also control the media. So you can't even find out. He goes, do you know about the process that are happening now? I'm like, no, he goes, right. Exactly. Why not? You could only find out on TikTok or Instagram. And they don't, not sanction those.

They don't shut those down or they don't censor those? I guess it's like outside. They don't control it. So, yeah, right. They can just not allow it. Yeah, they could not allow it like China. But they don't. Interesting.

So it's like a different thing. So in Bolivia, they had a guy for 20 years. And what he did was he said, farmers are more important. He ran the media too. They run the media. He goes, farmers are more important to our society than city folk. We've heard this one before. I've heard this one before.

So I'm giving farmers a two to one vote over city folk. Now city folk could see the problems with their country. Farmers are just getting it from the radio, which is run by the government. Wow. Who's saying everything's great. So they're going, no, this guy's great. Everything's really nice. There's no crime.

And then they couldn't outvote the two to one rural people. Wow. And then finally they did. And I was in Bolivia and Sukre. And they were all these streets. It was just cool to be in these places. It was still currently two to one while you were there. and then they overthrew it?

So I was like, why these streets blocked off? They're like, inauguration. And I'm like, oh, what do you mean? They're like, the new guys take it over right now. And I'm like, when? They're like, you want to go? I'm like, yeah, I want to go. And I saw him get inaugurated.

This new guy and everyone was crying and like, it's really cool. It's fun. And what did they, sorry, go, Mark. No, did you like sense the hope? Like, was everyone just so overwhelmingly optimistic. It wasn't like us, four years, eight years, whatever. Like, 20 years, if you're,

30 you've never, you don't remember him not being the guy. The guy's in charge for it. Yeah, two decades. Andrew Go Plus. Wow. Wow. Okay, so when they see you there in Bolivia? Yeah, you're six to tall enough. Six to a half. All right, so you're six

three. You're bearded and you bearded up? So I so I shaved my beard. I had a layover in Mexico City. I shaved everything at the Mexico City lounge. you ever, dude, pro tip, use the shower

in those lounges. Oh, yeah, yeah. If you're out of layover, you refreshed. They had one, I was like hook it up, and then I just shaved everything. I took a... Oh, so you went clean. You went clean. And then I haven't touched it since then. Okay. All right. So that beard, Bolivia would have been probably two months of beard. Oh, so you have a little something.

Probably about, maybe that level. I'm just trying to understand how they're interpreting you. Are they thinking you're a local in any way, shape, or form? Sucre is a language class town? A lot of people go there, and so they're used to some whites. Got it. It's not that isolationist.

But they're seeing you as white, because I think a lot of, the misconception that I think a lot of Americans have of South America is that it's no white people. Where it's like there are tons of whites. Tons of whites. There's immigration for years and years and years. Yeah, exactly. So is there any point in time where they're kind of seeing you as a local? There's little Italy's like little kind of uncleas. Little everything.

They all like pulled up. But there's no. Germans, tons. You're an outsider to them every single time. There's no part where you kind of start to flow seamlessly. No, I was. Yeah, at some point. Like if you go, they're like, I don't know, you dress.

There's stuff you don't even notice. You're dressing different. You can't put your finger on it. They can tell. Here in New York, Steve, backdoor Steve told me, because you can tell tourists they look up instead of forward or down. And also, instead of, in the winter, instead of wearing a big coat, they wear layers of smaller things.

Because they don't have it where they're from? Yeah, so they don't think they're a big of tourists. I'm just like a local, but like we don't do this. There's rats. We don't do this. We learn the hard way. So I'm sure they're like cluing into the little things, but no, sometimes you're like really getting a cool conversation of people and like come friendly and like it's fun. I don't know.

Any touristy shit you saw that blew your fucking mind and you're like, this is touristy but is so fucking worth it. Inguazu Falls. Igwazoo Falls. Yeah. It's in the Argentine. Argentina, Brazil. Border. And Paraguays right there, too, border.

Yeah. Niagara's a fucking dicklecker compared to this. Oh, my. Yeah. And they have these walkways that have built out over. I mean, they go crazy. You built out over. So see the top?

Yeah. You can walk on those. Oh, both sides falling into. Holy shit. Yeah. So they have to see that? See the walkway? No.

Oh, on the right side. Yeah. So that's like a 20-minute walk over the water that you know people don't. making because there's a current like of course and like yeah it looks like avatar they don't have Mexicans to offer up so that was

their own people you know yeah it looks like Avatar it was it was really cool but but Chinese what do you mean what do you mean they're the words tell me about pushy

shrill there's a line the flags they got the flags the pictures yeah It's like, why? Why can I hear you from that far you're talking to someone next to you? What is this? There was like a viewpoint and we had a line

that just naturally formed like one at a time and you see them inching, inching, and you're like, hey, hey, there's a line. And they go, yeah, yeah, inching, they don't have the line culture. That's a British thing. Yeah, the cue. The cue is a...

Oh, yeah, if you want to take that picture alone, that's one and a time shit. And Chinese are like, nah. Yeah, I mean, They just got able to travel like 30 years ago. So they're learning about lines. Yeah, it was like, okay, my grandparents were in a famine, and then now I get to go to a waterfall.

His sister's just appeared because she spoke out against a mouth. Yeah, exactly. My other sister's a soccer ball. Look at that walkway. It was cool. That was a soccer. Ars like, you need to cut this out. What if we say?

I'm sorry. They already cut it out. Hey. We're out here, we're out here, we're doing jokes. Oh, my God. Yeah, there's some place like that, Machu Picchu.

Did you do the... Yeah. And, okay, can you break it? So Machu Picchu, my understanding is that it's not like a day trip. This is a few days. You have to climb up to it. You have to kind of stop at a hotel.

If you're old, you can take a train from Kusko. Anyone can take a train from Kusko. It doesn't have to be old. But Ryan O'Neill, if you know, him's a comic. Yeah. He came to a bit of a bit of a little. is it? So he met you there?

Because I sold to everybody. If you want to come, if you was anything in all of Mexico down that you've wanted to do, let me know, and I'll tell you when I'm going to be near there, and I'll change my direction for you. And even though you change your number and said you wouldn't contact anybody, but that's really adorable. Okay, no, no. No, no. Oh, you think of, oh, you can't catch me a fucking thing.

I wrote their fucking numbers down on a piece of paper, and I said, tell what you are, I'll tell you, I'll reach out then. Okay. Fucking dicklicker. I'm attacking your friends I come in here You're my last friend here Okay okay

So Ryan goes down Ryan goes down to me You text Ryan from This is hilarious You text Ryan from a random number He trusted it's you Yeah Nobody else tried to prank

Like that's a hilarious Okay so I found I sound Saul Volcano's number Yeah And I go I know what his birthday was And I from Ryan I was like

Give me Sal's number And I said Happy birthday from Bolivia and no response. And then another one, another one. And then I was just like, this is fun now. I was on WhatsApp. So then I was texting him every like two, three weeks, updates.

I knew he'd get way later. He's just not checking these. And then I finally got through to him. And he's like, why don't you write me? Like, bro, I wrote you every two weeks. And he goes, where? I'm like, what? They go, WhatsApp.

And then he went and looked and he goes, oh, dude, I saw a happy birthday from Bolivia. And I go, instant block. He goes, I didn't read the rest. There's no way that's not spam. Block that number. I love it. Yeah.

So, yeah. So Ryan meets you down there. You guys decided to go to Machu Pitcher. Five-day hike. Salking tight pass. Okay. There's a different version where you don't have to do the hike.

But even then, don't you have to, like, stop at a city at the base? Yeah, there's a... This is not a day trip place is what I'm basically trying to see. You got to get tickets. You got to plan it.

You got to get tickets. That's the only reason we had to plan that ahead time because it's so... I think since COVID, it's so packed that you have to, like, get a specific day, pass a hit pro tip number two what was the other pro tip take the shower at the lounge yeah pro tip number two bribe any of them to go on whatever tour you want yeah they sell you tour one or two or two or three one or two or three and

then ab for each one and you want to go i think two a a is the one with the iconic viewpoint yeah yeah so me and o'neal we're like we're like we're like let's see what's up here we're not supposed to go here but let's go and some guys like hey hey um can i see your pass and we're like yeah there goes you're first of all it's closed for the season second of all your past doesn't even work here anyway and we're like okay and he goes but do you want to go yeah i was like i don't even know what this is dude i love i don't even know what this is but i was like kinda and he goes and then one of his friends starts yelling and i'm like oh he's telling him how much yeah but they're talking catch-law so i'm like i'm not sure or whatever's there so i'm like 20

and he goes go and come back 20 is four dollars oh 20 their dollars yeah and i was like i don't want to go too high and he goes, go, come back. And we were out on this Inca bridge by ourselves for like an hour and a half smoking a joint with the most beautiful viewpoint, just me and O'Neill, having a blast. You don't have pictures of this? I can send you some. We for sure do. Okay. That's so cool. What do you mean, when you mean the Inca bridge, you're saying a bridge that they built. There's to escape the Spaniards. Okay. It's on this backweight at Machu Picchu. And they had, it's pretty cool. The Incas are wild with architecture. So they have, have this bridge. So it's all this, like, on a mountain, there's, like, ledge they built with, like, stones over the slave built.

Yeah. So see that? I thought it was decrepit. It's not. That bridge thing, they run away. If you run to the right, that's away, that's away. And then it swings out so no one can follow you. Wow. That middle thing, they can make swing out. Yeah. So then they just pull that away. And anyone following. And this is, there's not, that's all stones. So they built that up. Yeah. Remarkable. Wow. Unbelievable. Yeah. Okay, so you're on that bridge. So we're like, right? I mean, we're like here.

I don't know, whatever. This isn't a good video, but like we're, oh, yeah. Wait, what was the last one? Yeah, we're about there. Oh, no, we went around there. So we went around there. So that's during the season. And it was just us, dude.

It was so fucking cool. And just got, and that is the place to get stone with a view from the, hold one second. Are they stacking those stones that we're looking at from how? How far below? I don't know. A mile and a half? Get the fuck?

I don't know. Far. Pretty far. Holy shit. Yeah. Wow. And that was their escape route when they were getting an attack.

So that... I mean, it's crazy, but also if you see Machu Picchu, you're like, the whole thing is crazy. The whole thing. Have you been? No, I just seen pictures and just read about it. It's just the most insane thing ever. The reason why Machupeze was so impressive

is because of the altitude, right? It's like getting that rock up there. It's not like you're, like, you've seen pyramids that are more remarkable. Oh, yeah. I got a picture of... I'm me like butt-fucking O'Neill right in front of this view. Fire.

Yeah. Fire. Right all these down. I'm going to find a life on my elf. But like the structures that you're seeing there. Yeah. Are they? Remain.

The ink architecture is... They remain, what I'm saying. It's not like the pyramids in Giza or whatever. What do you mean? Like in terms of size and structure. No, no. It's little homes. But what's fascinating is that they were able to get all that stone up to this

outstew. This is a five-day hike, right? So, I mean, they did. So, you know, when you have a friend that says we built a deck on our, and like, who did they enslave? No, Guatemalans did that for you or whatever. This is like, no, slaves. So Inca's, they didn't build shit. So Ingas are getting the credit for, got it.

But they're arguing where you can't get a, you can't get a piece of paper through these rocks, even like hundreds of years later or a couple hundred years later. Perfectly designed, earthquake-proof. The Christians always put facades in front of, like, Jesus stuff. Every earthquake, the facade falls, the original structure remains. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, motorcycle diaries is all that. Like, look at Kusko.

It's been destroyed by earthquakes so many times, except for the ink of structures. Stay up. Those ones have been around. Do you talk to anybody about that? Was there any, like, expert in architecture and explains why? I'm sure. I didn't really. I mean, honestly, I don't even know.

Machu Picchu means something. I forgot it. No, I never learned. Dude, I was smoking reefer in a fucking beautiful place. Four-day hike up. Intense or? days, four nights. Yes, very intense.

Covi-lawed to turn back from altitude poisoning. Really? Yeah. One just started throwing up. You didn't get sick at all? Okay, so about 30 minutes before the end of the past, where it's the highest point, I started hallucinated. Let's go. No way.

Okay. What kind of hallucinating? What kind of hallucinating? I'm seeing shit, and I'm like, I mean, you know when you do drugs and you're like, the first time you're like, is that real? Then you're like, oh, I've done it. That's not real. But I know I'm seeing. But like, when you're on mushrooms?

You're seeing that. Yeah, rocks. There's no trees up there because it's past the tree line. But I'm like, I don't want them to make me turn back. So I can't tell them. Do you tell Ryan? Ryan's a fucking lunatic. He ran up in.

He's full on Tardo. He's like, I'm feeling great. My girl was saying too then. Wow. I'm just like, yeah, but I'm like, I can see it. But it's very hard. The air gets thinner and thinner. What about the cocoa leaf?

Are people ripping that? Yeah, that was great. You're eating coca leaves all the time. What does that feel? You just get kind of juiced. Okay. Coffee? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Didn't know later, Coke a tea, pour hot water of it, that it's that much of a stimulant. I thought it was just an altitude. So I drank it at night and just like, ah, it's a daytime thing. But you can imagine why people think it's a spiritual place, right? If every time they're climbing up, they all of a sudden start to get these visions. Yeah, you're like, oh, shit. I'm talking to the gods. Something magical has happened.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, so some people have to turn back. They just start barfing and they just get blue. And they're like, you got to get them down. There's no air and they're reacting wrong. But then like during the hike up, where are you stopping? Like are there places to actually sleep?

Yeah, so there's like lodgers. Some people just do, some people just do tent on their back. And then do themselves, fucking warriors do that. Like, and I met some people, some French couple that was doing it. And I'm like, what? By the way, you don't have to prepare for this. So I can't, I'm not, I'm with a backpack. So they have food for you at the lodges and stuff.

Really interesting, like, like food they're making a fire like underground. like they have this they build this it's like fire and they put everything and like clay pots and they put stones on it yeah and they put clay pots and then they bury it puts hay on top of that in the place yeah and it was like succulent chick like really good yeah what is it the the luau yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah that's crazy they do that in hawaii and they're from like asia pretty much and they do that in in peru yeah yeah the same like does the smoke get out no it's it's packed in there i wonder if it's so you're not telling

the ops where you are. Like I'm being facetious, but at the same time, like, if there's smoke You had to cook discreetly? Yeah. No predators and shit coming around. Yeah. How do you plan out the path? Like... To go? Yeah. There's groups that are like, will take you... Oh, no, not just the hike.

I'm talking about this entire trip. Like, are you just, like, winging it? Yes. So there's a couple things I'm like, I made a list. So every time I met anyone from knowing I'm going to do this in like a year, anyone I met anyone from a place I'm like give me a recommendation and they're like oh Buenos Aires I'm like no no

give me a bar give me a restaurant that you love give me like oh what is a hike that you like the way you would tell someone coming you wouldn't go Empire State Building you'd be like oh no this is this place that does jazz on Wednesdays you should check out you know my neighborhood bagel place is

the cut that that's going to make me get made fun of The bagels in Brooklyn Retake Retake Retake my neighborhood tough guy story It's out of my mouth. I knew it was going to fuck me. Attend my shul, you'll think it's very nice.

It's okay, all right. It's okay. You're not being the allegations, too. I know. Good point. I met a guy in, where was it, Myanmar, and he was like, I didn't want to bring my camera with me. This guy from, I think, Seattle. And he's like, because I didn't want to be like a tourist. I was like, you're a six foot two white guy in the car. Bro, it's not the camera.

So you're getting these specific recommendations? I was like, tell me something. Google Map. Dot. And anywhere I was near something, I'm like, when I got a dot here, there's a record from a local. And then boom, you're going to go to... Lifties. They're all Argentinian or Chilean when you're skiing. Lifting?

Yeah, lift workers. Ski-lift. Oh, yeah, yeah. Or people working like the sessions. Yeah. You start talking to them, to Donneeras. It opens up everything right and then you're just like give me something yeah the first one was this sick no electricity beach in uruguay that was the first one outside the cellar and then i got there towards the end and it was just like so i would just have these places so i had like 80 100 places to go to but i'm like the only ones i got to go to is matripeachu yeah and i i have and i want to no that was just on there

wow if i missed it i missed it so so like so if i'm going this way and then some shit happens here you'll go i'm not like well i had plans I don't have plans. If I got sick, I'll stay for another two days. I don't have to take an overnight bus while I'm barfing. Were you? Were you? Oh, wait, so the only ones were Machu Pchu and what else?

I wanted to get carnival in Brazil? No. But when I was ending, I was like, hey, I'm ending, and I'm in Brazil early February. I'm like, oh, shit. Let's do it. Yeah, I'm going to stay for another couple weeks. Yeah. And, like, party out this great trip.

Yeah. And, like, celebrate. Yeah. No, I did. I did, this is also very gay, but like, I'm kind of hippie. No. So I did a solstice a solstice trip. I went up to the tip top of Alaska for the summer solstice.

Yeah. 24 hours of sunlight. Wow. Saw polar bear, like way out, but like we saw it. And the tour guy's like, like, all, we're good. It's like, hey, actually. We got to get out of here. Not quite busy. Just go, don't wander.

Don't want to see what he does. But don't. And then he was fine. He didn't come into him. hard, but they're one of the few animals that hunt humans. Yeah. They want, they want human. Oh, really? Yeah. You've seen the video of the polar bear trying to get into the

photographer's thing? It's insane. He's in a glass case. And he's like, and that polar bear wants him bad. It's supposed to be bearproof, and it's like freaking, and you can see him being like, uh-huh. Yeah, yeah. Here it is. Bro, this shit.

And you can smell him, so he's like. Yeah, that's a vending machine, bro. That's a pretty important. That's terrible. Oh, he's licking it. Oh, he full on gets a paw up in there? He's so heavy. And that's like a teenage polar mirror.

It's not even full-blown. Wow. Yeah. He's shaking. It's so heavy. Oh, my God. No, I'm out. Oh, my God.

It's open a little bit too. Oh, look at that. Why does he have a little? I know what you mean by y'all, but yeah, you're right. Okay, so you did the... You'll never have to color correct this kind of video. It's, it's all. You guys who looks so good in it, though.

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does not approve or verify for safety effective visceral quality prescription required to see website for full details, restrictions. And important safety information, individual results may vary based on studies of topical and oral, and oxytol and finasteride. Now let's get back to the show. There was a whale hunt celebration, because when they get one, they're like sick. Where is this?

And Barrow. Also, here's another one you face for shit. It's called Barrow, Alaska. They renamed it, the indigenous name, Uchviagvik. And everyone in Anchorage, very liberal, it's like, you're like, because it's hard to pronounce. So, like, Uqaviyak, and you're trying to pronounce it, it's not written easier. And then you just go, I'll just say Barrow. They go, it's Ukviyovvik, have some fucking respect.

I was like, okay, sorry. And then you get up there, and there's this little tour of this nothing town, and the guy goes, welcome to a, I'm not going to do the indigenous accent, but like, No, do it, do it, do it, okay. You do it the Chinese. Welcome to Uqviagvik. It's a, it's, you can also call it Barrow. We call it Uchviag, we call it Barrow, because that's what we grew up with,

but you're welcome to call it whatever you want. So they don't even call it. Is this the same with Mount McKinley? It's probably the same thing, right? It's like they grew up in a town. like we're not renaming you guys are renaming it for us thanks for protecting us whites from anchorage yeah so we were there for yeah i was at that that whale that uh yeah oh wow yeah took a polar air plunge or whatever it's called that's um yeah so they start throwing everybody up on a on a um blanket

to celebrate oh yeah whale skin or whatever yeah give out pieces of blubber did you eat at the yeah um it's called um yeah i try to fuck i follow this guy who eat you watch all these videos buck buck buck No, that's muckbang. Muckbang. Also delicious. Was it good though? Mooktuk. Was it good?

No. No. Did they dip it in the soy sauce? Yeah, I got warned. Yeah, I got warned you should put it in mustard or soy sauce. It was just raw. It was raw. And they cut it with that little curvy knife.

Gives you every nutrient to eat. Because, like, how do these people survive with no greens? It turns out that's got everything in it. Wow. Have you seen the glasses that they wear? Oh, yeah, they're sick. A tiny little slit. But yeah, but they celebrate a successful whale hunt

And then everyone's out And then eventually they go, they're doing The captain does it The captain's wives do it They throw all candy like a bar mitzvah Wow They jump up and they throw all can't And then eventually like tourists

I'm like okay And you go up there and it's I was like ready I like keep your feet together And I'm like and I just collapsed I'm like bad I can't do it But yeah so I was there for solstice

So you did the other night And then I was there for solstice Wow And where was the southern one Ushshwaya is the southernmost city but there's another town in Chile called Puerto Williams who is trying to uproot

Ushua as the southernmost city because they're like, well it's this main city of this state and they're like if you don't have 50,000 it's not a city now they have all these plans to get to 50,000 and one to uproot Ushuaia as the southernmost city and kill their tourism I love it. Yeah

they're building all this everywhere capitalism wins You're down there and what is their solstice celebration? It's not 24 as the sunlight. It's like the level of like Scotland but to the south. Oh. Yeah. Like Edinburgh. So it's like it's not nearly as far

as though. But it's penguins which is cool. Fire. Yeah. They would just have babies so you're like see all these like baby penguins. But like fun party vibes are like an exciting moment or? No, it was really just right. You bought party vibes. Not for that. What was the most dangerous thing that happened throughout the whole trip?

I got I bought weed from the wrong guy in Medellin. Uh-oh. And he'd fucking kind of ruined my trip for a couple weeks. Why? Columbia is getting kind of bad again. It's getting bad again. I kind of felt that, man.

A little bit. Yeah, yeah. Last time I went, yeah. Yeah, and it was like... How long it was this? Mine was just four years ago. Yeah. I went a couple and it was, we weren't in Medellín. Where would we go? Cartagena? Cartagena. And it was

we were like in this old city area and I know people got to make money, etc. But it felt like the second we walked out of They were like guys coming up and like rapping for us for money and then somebody trying to sell you. And it was one of those things where you're, it's like these guys got to eat. I totally fucking get it. But I wonder if you're the government, if you have a way of explaining, hey, if we can make this a tourist trap for Americans and Europeans to come here, there's going to be so many more jobs that you guys are going to make so much more fucking money. Yeah.

But it's also selected the wrong type of tourists. Which is the problem. So the gang members like sick as people who work. It creates a ton of inequality, but also that type of tourism. like sex tourism, which is like a huge part of it. Yeah. Like, you know, that's, yeah, you're right. In Medellin, it said all the real

deep crime was you're buying drugs or you're buying women. Yeah. Did you go on that? If you're just tourism, they leave those. And probably doing both. And they're entering into their world. That is the problem when it, yeah, when it becomes sex tourism, like there is this, and I don't know if it's changing, but like Costa Rica did a really good thing

where like they built their tourism community around daytime activities. They're like, hey, we do not want people to hey at night it's boring here don't come hang out it's horrible just go to sleep they really try and then when you don't have shit to do at night there's not as much

of a need for coke and when there's no need for coke you don't have the cartel and when there's no cartel it's safe for business right and but doesn't coast the rink have that red light district area I'm sure they have a version of prostitution probably do it in a certain area figure it out it's fucking surf lessons

they figured it out and it might be getting worse but like it is a thing like if you build your economy around sex tourism you're going to bring like the most yeah the Colombians I met I met a Colombian in the north and we were talking about it every fourth person of this hostel either got robbed or had a friend got robbed in daylight sometimes and she goes it's going back all the Colombians we can feel it it got safe and we can all feel it going back to the 80s yeah yeah oh fuck that was a dude of mine he met a girl off tinder and then it was like a setup like she drugged them and then took all this

shit wow all the Airbnb's in in in in Colombia and Brazil too actually are like we needed to see the passports of everyone who's going to be here because they're like, you're not bringing hookers to our place. Oh, really? Yeah. Yeah, it just brings crime. Yeah, like, either of the hooker will rob you. And they're like, and like, and I start robbing you.

And you're like, that's going to go on my review. And he wants to get an extra thing. The guy's being predatory with the woman not paying. Like, it just is a headache. Yeah. Yeah, it's a bummer because Columbia is cool as hell. So cool. And the people are the best.

The world. But yeah, I just think it creates, like, rot. Yeah. Any spiritual stuff? Like any ayahuasca? I had the best mushroom trip of my life. Okay. Why?

It was... And where? I'll tell you all this off air. Oh. Yeah, there's a place I don't want to ruin. Okay. Can you... Can you describe it without saying it?

Okay, I'll tell you. I got... So the end, the show of the end, and I was bogged down with everything. And I had these... By the way, real quick. Yeah. Because I know R. I will not plug, so I will do it for him. I'll get plugged.

different one. Ari is bringing back his infamous storytelling show, The End. He's going to wreck a consumer. He's got the biggest names in stand-up comedy that are all doing stories on it. And it's available for pre-sell right now. So you can buy it at arregevare.com.

Buy Argusherty.com or the end. YMH Studios.com. And at YMHDurisdust.com. It's fucking unbelievable. Some names. Shane. Nate Bargazzi. Hinchcliff.

Hinchcliffe. DeStefano. Norman. Robert Kelly. Sam Talent. you were invited and refused. I did not refuse. We talked about this already.

You actually said yes. I literally am watching you guys edit it here and I'm like, I should fucking does. I literally just filmed the special and you called me an ass and I was like, I want to do it. And then I thought, I have so much respect for the show because this is, you know, the show. Okay, the history of the show, obviously,

which I'd love to talk about once we finish going over your travels. But like, I was like, I want to have a really good story. Well, you're honoring it to be like, I'm not doing a half-ass job on this. No, because you can't, one, everybody's bringing their fuck. It's Saturday night to sell her. You know, you're not just going, hey, this is my whatever joke. You're bringing your fucking A-game. This is your best story.

And I'd spent two years telling, like, the most important story in my life. And I'm literally going, well, what can I tell? Yeah, right. You don't want to be like that. Yeah. And I didn't want to go, I'm going to, I'm going to do a story that's not coming to me just to make it funny for this thing. Anyway, a huge regret. I wish I was part of it.

I mean, yeah, but you got to do it. But I mean, some guys were doing it. Like, Segura went up to Sam Talent afterwards. It goes, that was amazing, dude. I'm watching Roy Wood now in the editing, and I'm like, I'm a weak comic compared to him. He's really good. And then some of the greats from This Not Happening, Miss Pat, Ali, and Jay. Like, Legends of the Show came back.

It was just like. Anyway, it's a whole season, by the way. It's not just one drop. Seven one-hour episodes. Wow. That's awesome. Plus, the prolog that I don't want to mention is going to, you're, You would love that, and that's free also.

Anyway, this is awesome. What? Sorry, sorry, sorry. You said Bargazzi? Bargasi came. Oh, no, I don't. Yeah. But anyway, I just think it's really awesome that you're doing it.

You're also doing it on your terms, and like the story about you starting the show, it being taken away from you unfairly, I think very unfairly. And then you, I think so. Yeah. It's like when you're chick in 11th grade cheats on you, and now with your marriage, with kids, you're like, I mean, it was wrong to do that, but I'm not still angry. No, no, no, I don't think you have resentment or anything like that. But I don't want to talk about the story? Because I don't know what happened.

Oh, yeah. And then maybe we can go back to some of the travels because I still have questions about that. Oh, sure. It's worth talking about this. Okay, let's just start about the inception of the show. The exception of the show was, me and Eric Abrams, the director of all my stuff, where I was at his house on Thanksgiving. And I think I forget who was first.

How many years ago? This was 2009? Yeah. I was telling him a mushroom story, and then he was telling me a mushroom story. And then I think it was me first time saying. It doesn't matter. And then I was talking about a Nick Kroll mushroom story that I heard through Renazisi. And then I was like, you know, dude, and he was the assistant booker to Joel who ran the Florida improv.

He'd taken over the main improv. And I was doing nothing in my career. I mean, it wasn't like I was, I hadn't even had a check. We're comedy store guys. And comedy store was not what it is now. It was agents wouldn't go there. It was a failure place, which looking back was such a gift for us so we could develop on our own. I mean, Bobby Lee was a most successful guy because he was making $5,000 a week.

You got me my first spot at the comedy store. Did you know that? I remember meeting at the hole. No, at the potluck. I was like, hey, man, I'm coming in, and I don't know if there's a way to get up. You're like, yeah, I'm going to talk to them, and you got me up at the potluck. Legend. So when anybody says, like, I met you the comedy store once, I'm like, this could go one.

one of two very different ways. At the hole, I think. The whole, yeah. But I just messaged you. You were so different at the hole. You were like still finding yourself. Of course, yeah. And so it was like, you were a phony.

You were this tough guy, Brooklyn. And I'm like, and you were still cool? Red Manhattan, by the way. Fuck New York. Right Manhattan. Absolutely. Number one, borough. And, um, and.

I've never heard anyone like corrected to that. Brooklyn is way cool. That's my. I started. People are what you from? Like, I'm from Manhattan. That's where I live. Yes.

But you're 100% right. I think he died a long time ago. I'm from Manhattan. Fuck Brooklyn. You're talking white guys with their top hats. Eat dicks. No, but you're right. I was like really trying to figure out what I was on stage.

We were all at some point in college or whatever that. We're like, maybe I'll try. Maybe I'll be a fedora guy. 24, 25, maybe something like. We were young. Wow. Okay, go on, go on. So I was doing nothing.

And he was an assistant to a booker. And I was like, hey, dude. you have a side room that's not built up at the at the it was kind of like the old fat black when big jay was hosting the fucking um karaoke night yeah they weren't really doing shows there yeah and imagine then if i was like hey can i do it so i was like can we do a show of mushroom stories like you're not the place is dark most days yeah and he goes yeah let's do that let me ask and then it was like okay and we're like this change just psychedelic drug stories in general yeah the lineup was a couple One guy, forget his name.

Me and Pete Carboney told the story about our own mushroom trip. Okay. This guy, Dan Medonia, Steve Agee. It was like a good actor and writer. Mark Marin and Joey Diaz. Wow. You were. And 14 people were there.

I mean, we could not get an audience. We didn't have any way. I didn't know anybody. What room is this again? The side room with the environment. They have now since built it up. This is in Florida? No, no.

Joel from Florida had taken over all the impromptuous. Got it. So in the LA improv, there was a side room. Yeah. Got it. And Eric was the assistant bookers. We were like, okay. And you couldn't drink in there.

There was no bar. You couldn't even bring your booze in from the other place. Yeah, yeah. But, I mean, it was a magical. I was like, I would do my story, then I'd bring somebody up, and I'd sit there and watch on the floor. And it was just like, it was so cool watching these guys tell real story. Joey Diaz going to, like, Led Zeppelin, I think. Yeah.

In like the 80s on Quayludes. You know, Mark Marene getting like. too much drugs on a Grateful Dead concert and thinking he's chewing gum and he thinks he's got bloody mouth. It was just like it was just like, all 14 people were like, that was amazing.

It was so real and we're like, let's do another one. And so then we started like changing topics every week and then it like, it built up. Anyone who came for 18 people the next time, 20 people. And then eventually comics wanted to do it. Eventually the improv

got mad at me. They're like, well, you had Bill Byrd, Jim Jeffries, and Burke Kreischer in the side room. Yeah, yeah. And I was like, I don't know, that's the room you gave me. What are you going to be? We're going to be to not book a good show? Yeah. And then they moved me to the main room.

And then we did it at Montreal, the Comedy Festival. Oh, wow. Listen, I don't care, but I've never really gotten respected in this business. So, like, you can do the midnight show. I'm like, you don't have midnight shows. And they're like, well, we don't really have space for you. You get respect now. I think there was a time where you were maybe overlooked.

Yeah. I think all comics go through that. would say that you're a respected comedian now. Depends by who. Yeah. I think, I think, I definitely think that, like, Jew changed a lot of things. Now they hate you even more for it.

But dude is magically. We do, like, hooker stories and trouble with the law stories, roommate stories, and whatever. Everyone had them. I remember the hooker stories one. It was, like, got uncomfortable for the crowd, and Eddie Pepitone kept, like, starting a story, and then be like, wide this top of Garry we're losing everybody

and then back to fucking some chick in the back of a truck yeah and then we did it in Montreal became the cool hangout the midnight show at that Tranny strip club became the cool hangout Russell Pete What's the name of the strip club? Cleopatra

Cleopatra yeah And we did like four days in a row And everybody Russell Peters I saw him out of UFC I was like you want to do my show and he was like okay I'm trying to fill up It's like 80 and he was just like Bro I'm Russell Peters and his Canada

Yeah it's gonna be fine It'll fill up And I didn't realize what a favor was doing. Yeah. It just became the coolest hangout. We all drink there and, and then, like, yeah, eventually Comedy Central was like, let's film some of these. It's crazy to hear you had a hard time in the industry because I had a theory that you guys ran it. Well, here's the problem.

There's too many of us so we don't all get our piece. You know what's... You know what's dumb about this story. I like the theory. The theory thing is awesome. Yeah, we started doing on TV and really exposed people, and I love YouTube too, giving people like a break. You got to help people, man. Yeah.

So then it's on Comedy Central, and then how does it get? So first on YouTube, and then they came in, wherever the executive was on the side YouTube Comedy Central was like, we want to keep these stories about two minutes, and we're like, actually we're going like 20. She's like, no. I'm like, this isn't a puppy video. Is it this not happening yet? Yeah, so we renamed it. This is not happening. Actually, Steve Agee was like, hey, you need a name for this.

You can't just call it Ari's storytelling show. If you want to keep doing these, you should brand it. I don't know anything about that. Yeah. Yeah, this is not happening was a take off of some, like, painting. Like, this is not a pipe. Oh, yeah, yeah. Yeah.

Look at that. It's right. He is, too. He is. He's trying to help. So it's about, like, it's about, like, stuff existing, but that is not a pipe. It's paint on a. canvas. And these stories aren't actually happening now.

They're a rendition of what happened. Something happened. Yeah, whatever. It's goofy. But like, yeah, and then there's just caught on. I remember Ralphie doing a story at the improv, I hadn't been nervous on stage in a long time. So this is the thing about the story that I think makes it so special. It's like, when the goal is the story,

laughs are a bonus. Yeah. With stand-up, laughs are mandatory. But then I was very clear. I don't want to go like the moth. Moth is great. Yeah, they have to be funny stories. Yeah, Moth is always always ends with and that's not just the day I lost my watch. That's a day I lost

my innocence. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Also some fire stories. Yeah, I like the fire story. If you want to say, Mike DeStefano, Mike DeStefano, Mike DeStefano is like a legendary New York comedian. A lot of us just like looked up to him growing up, he passed, but he has a mock that will fucking make you cry, laugh, the whole thing. Anyway, but the goal of it

and I think it changes the perception of the audience because you're immediately going, hey, this is a thing that's really interesting to happen. Funny shit happens along the way, but I'm on board because the ends might be something crazy that could never expect. And then it's almost like in the way that like Sopranos is funny

even though it's not a comedy, and the last hit you harder. Because I'm not asking you to laugh. You're gonna, because this is what we do. Also, we're comics, we don't know how to not be. We make jokes in inopportune moments when you can't help it. Yeah, yeah. So then Reap mentioned it once. He did the show and he was like, after like 30

seconds with no laugh, I'm not used to it. I'm like, I better make a funny face or something. Yeah, Ralphie's story is about playing basketball in, like, ninth grade, and Corliss Williamson was on another team. And getting dunked on nuts in the face, like, 9th grade, Colis Williamson. I love it. I love it.

That's so funny. But, like, yeah, we saw some amazing moments. And, like, clean comics who could be like, this isn't recorded, I'm going to tell you something, like, really dark. And, like, this is great. Watching people who had characters dropped their character. I loved one. watching them. Didn't Karatov did one?

Caratop did one after. Oh, that was after. Okay, yeah. But also I would be interested to see what he was going to do. Anytime you bring someone out of genre, it's kind of fun. Yeah. Yeah. Okay, so you guys are doing it. We did it in Edinburgh. This guy called the pub landlord. He had a character where he was like the manager of a pub.

He was like, I'll tell you a real story. And people like, I've never seen you. Yeah. That's cool. And he was also like, I'm nervous to do this. They're just fun. And it made me a way better comics. I have to prep a new story. Because listen, I'm going first. And you've got to set the tone. I've got to set the tone.

I'm trying to bury all of you. And it's hard, and I'd have to sit there. I got an office one time. I got to start writing out the details of these stories. Did you keep having to do like psychedelic trips? No, we changed topics. So it'd be like job stories. I'm like, what do that job? I know there must be, everyone has.

And we just got to like, you know, Big J's the best. can take something that is not of note and make it a really interesting story. He's a great story. He's like the best. It's interesting because I always knew Jay as a storyteller. And I think a lot of people know him more now, maybe from crowd work.

But when I was coming up, he was just this magnificent storytelling. And he could always do stuff off the fly. He was always so witty. But that's kind of where people were sitting in the back of the room watching. You know? Late night. At the cellar. At the cellar. Yeah. Back when the cellar wasn't patting.

You're like Sunday night shows on the road. You're like, all right, it's half full. Like, check strips getting dropped. You're like, all right, let me tell you about a time I did this. Yeah. But also, comments all have it. I was on the road with Rogan once, a long time ago, went to a strip club. Yeah, long time ago.

Did some, yeah. Long time ago. Some, like, dumb stuff. Not real. We saw some just giving out hand jobs. Like, it was our first week and didn't know what you didn't have to. It was like in the room, you know? And I'm like a young, just formally religious,

I'm like, what the fuck? And then my friend Tate's like, go take her into the other room. And I'm like, and then how do you do it? Just take her hand and fucking, fucking spit on it and put it on your dick. I'm like, no way. That won't work. It was, bro, I've just seen her give out three hands on.

She's don't have to treat her like a lady. I'm okay. And then, and then so we talked about this the next day. And I think like West Palm or something, some Florida plays. And we were talking about this, all right, come on stage. We're gonna tell this story. And you told this story of me not realizing

taking her hand and licking it and putting in my dick and then hearing Tago, spin on! Not licked! And I'm like, oh. Yeah. So like, yeah, you licked so many dicks that night. He was watching, he was like the semi-private room watching.

She jumped off three dives. We didn't get through the beginning of her shift. Back at the Bolivian soft flex. Burying my head, bang my lips. Oh, gosh. bro okay so these are like fun stuff the comics have we live crazy too we do stuff we're like yeah let's do coke and go out yeah we do stuff like so it's like tell these stories and they're so fun i love watching it yes we did it on tv for a while and then eventually

can we go into that like not to harp on it as a negative thing but just to understand why we got here so i had a long time ago an act teacher told me this i go if you're acting from a place if you're telling about this horrible car accident. But the end result is you're telling how the nurse that took care of you became your wife. Yeah. And then you don't say, you don't bemoan it. You go like, all my bones are broken. Because you know where it's

headed. You get a wife. Yeah. And then like, I didn't think I wanted to live. I want to get suicide. Whatever. Yeah. Because you know where it's going. Yeah. So at this point, like, I made my own show. So I'm fine. And it's wildly successful and it's very unique in that for years, comedy central and just any comedy platform

has been trying to find a way to put on new talent. And every different iteration, the show kind of doesn't really work. There's always a version where they go, what if a comedian tells a joke, but we act out the sketch of the joke at the same time, and they always try it, it doesn't work.

There's like, here's the new talent. There was a thing called Premium Blend when we were younger, which was a huge deal to get. Never got it. It doesn't really do me neither, but it doesn't really do anything. I wanted it so bad. I wanted it so bad. Even the comedy central half hours.

Like, that was like, it was that in HBO specials were like the cream of the crop and we're going up. And like sometimes they did, sometimes they didn't. So there wasn't like a real way to like garner interest for young comedians. Late night of parents was really big before our generation. But once you hit ours, it didn't really do. Was it a launching thing?

It was just something to do. And then you guys organically created the show where stories not even from the big guys. The big guys are going to do well because they have a draw. But from people that you didn't know would fucking blow up. We're talking about millions of. views. So there's two, there's two ones that really drive this home. So Comedy Central didn't understand what the internet was. Right.

They just didn't understand it. It's fine, whatever. Oh, for the people at home. Comedy Central was a network on the television. It came actually with every cable. Oh, cable, okay. And they had a lot, they made South Park, the daily show. These were all this brand Comedy Central.

They were the only place to do comedy. That's it. HBO would put a special every three months and it was always old timers yeah um it was your only way through is a comic when you really think about it like getting a special was just from comedy central was huge is this you know and it wouldn't necessarily translate some would some wouldn't but that was like the only way through and we'd all kind of wait around they did maybe one of one to the call on you that's it yeah so so they didn't understand the internet and i remember there was one season early on where they were really trying to get rob cordy he's a bald guy from general children's hospital is that him am i think

of the right guy? Oh, yeah, okay. And they were excited. He did a good story, and they could, yep, that's him. Nice guy, did a good story. So it was him and Joey Diaz on the same season. Yeah. And now this guy is a darling of the alt scene, and he's on TV.

Yeah. Joey Diaz is just some criminal. And they didn't understand that. And when Joey Diaz got to a million views and Rob Corges at like 80,000, they were like, what's going on here? What do you mean? And I'm like, well, one, he's internet famous, Joey. Two, he's a master story teller.

Like, you just, like, listen to him. Being on the road with them. It was so entertaining. And that's what comics do, too. Backtable the seller. Everywhere. We just tell him the time you went to Portugal. Okay, and that's what those.

Like, Jeff Dye did one about stealing a jersey. We did this in basketball, intramural basketball. I told me, I'm like, dude, you got to do my show. He was just talking before a game about stealing Mike Vanderjacks jersey from his bar in Key West. Right. And then they're like, giving back to Jersey. he goes, no. And they're like, what do you mean?

It goes, no, it goes to Will Orestra. I'm like, then I'll burn your fucking All-Star jersey. He goes, I'm going to get some use out of it first. He was like, fuck, hold these guys. So anyway, it was a Joey Diaz one. And then what was really significant was Ali Sadiq. Yes, legend. Who was an unknown guy, I mean unknown.

I didn't know about him. And we were, I don't diversity has like bad connotations now. But I would say there's a diversity of life, more than just color. So if you take a rich, black and a rich white, they're a lot closer than a rich white and a poor white. You know, a prison white. Owen, what's his name? You still his comic view?

Owen. Gary O'N. Yeah. He's way different than you. Yes. Different life says. He's closer to Ali Sadiek, you know, than, you know. Yeah.

So he had a story. My favorite story of all that. So they told me, hey, he won a comedian. So we're looking for, like, different diversity of experience. Yeah. They go, we know this guy. Okay, if you think he's good, let's have him. I just don't know it.

And we did, yeah. So we did a, because we wanted to make sure that were good stories. So we did a bunch of TV bookings, and then we go, let's have extra internet only bookings. We'll take the best of those stories and move them up to TV. Love.

They can prove themselves later. Either way, they're getting an internet clip, which is better anyway. So we saved like four spots to move up, like getting relegated or getting like advanced. And he did one. By the second season, I was like, they were like, they wanted to get at the second season, but like, let's do him.

I'm like, no, guys, the guy's a master. He did this story about, it's just called Mexican Got On Boots. And you should look it up because I don't want to ruin anything. We referenced it here when he came on. Really? Yeah, as like a touch point for a lot of us to him, because a lot of us didn't know he was until now. Didn't know him. Yeah.

And you're like, don't know what's going on. It's like, remember the first time you said 28 days later? Yeah, yeah. And like, you don't know what's going on? And the character doesn't know what's going on. It's pretty interesting. That's it. you're like, what is, what's happening?

Yeah. While he, in the story is trying to figure out, it's a masterpiece. Yeah. And then got some little views, nobody knew him. And then like a year later. Cracked. Somebody on Reddit said, have you seen this? And that was the joy of the internet.

A year later, a million views. Yeah. And it was for a guy like that that has, I don't have five minutes of Leno stuff. Yeah. But there's no place for me. Yeah. And him and Miss Pat, Jess, Reed, Big J,

Joey, I'm like, well, now there is a place. Yeah. And people started prepping stuff for it. Yeah. And it was like pretty great. I mean, it was like, yeah, Alisa Deek is like, he's the pure... He's out of here now. Oh, yeah. He's out of here now. Like, he's prolific. He's put out

so many special. It's like amazing. The most prolific comic in the world. I don't know about India. Maybe they have somebody. But in terms of ability to just create, create, create. At that higher level. So, He's the, he is what the show is. Finding a guy like that.

Yeah. And it was, yeah, it was always great. So how does it go wrong? So I sold my, my special to a startup network, streaming service. I made my own special. Greed is what he's trying to say. Called Netflix. And I was like, I made my own special and I want it.

No, by the way, less money. I just wanted people to see my special. This is the double special. Double special. Okay. Comedy Central didn't have the ability to put on a back to back side A, side B thing.

They're still locked into TV things. And they go, we'll take one of them. It's not one and then another. It's a double special. It's like a double album. It's not two albums. So I sold to that. And then Comedy Central lost their minds.

What was really interesting about this and like... It lost their minds. This is the thing I feel... How dare you? We're going to cut jobs and comedians if you don't give us your special. I'm like, no, you're not going to blackmail me.

I'm not the guy to force. I'll kill myself. You know, in my career, I've done it a hundred times to what's not best for myself. There's an important, like, wrinkle to the story, which is it's very common that these networks do what are called overall deals. Commi Centros had overall deals for plenty of talent.

HBO did it, Netflix does it. Like, this is a very common thing. Let's lock you up. They didn't. They didn't do that for art. Maybe he wouldn't have done it, but there was never offered to him. So when you don't offer that,

the cost of that is that talent has the ability to do their special somewhere else without punitive measures taken. If you don't want me to do that, it's very easy. If you believe in me as a creator, then lock me up for the long term.

Marilyn Reiske was on 24, but they called her a recurring character on for 24 episodes of season. And then she got Little Miss Sunshine and like, no, no, we're shooting. I'm like, I'm not a series regular. You didn't make me, you decide not to pay the money to keep you.

And this is the risk. Yeah. But to take, anyway, to take it out on you, I think, is very unfair. They never, they saw me as an open micer who was lucky to have them. That's, yeah. And I saw them as essentially, I'm bringing you the coolest show you've ever had. It's time to, it's time to not view me like that. What is it about Comedy Central that makes comedians go away off the grid for man law?

Oh, and that's what it was fun. So I left in 2017 to Southeast Asia. Yeah. I finished it, whatever. He pulled the ship out. For four or five months. Oh, yeah, dude. I got to talk to him about this.

And then came back and sold my special on Netflix. And then, yeah, they lost their minds and it was over. And then you gave them the option and they rejected. They said, we don't want both things. We don't want it the way you want it. They go, I go, no, I'm going to have a Netflix special. It'll help promote the TV show. They go, we don't see it that.

We see it as our show is going to promote Netflix. And I'm like, oh, you guys, you've already lost. Yeah, this is like end of an empire. where you don't realize it. Yeah. Anyway, so then they started doing nasty shit about like if you don't come with us,

we're going to cut the amount of episodes. They did things that wouldn't just punish you would punish the people you were trying to put on. Punish the staff? The crew would have been, I mean, I got these guys. There was a time where season three plus a couple digital seasons and I was like, let me get the director and the

producer, let me give him some mushrooms for a job well done. And I talked to my mushroom guy and he goes, I'm actually getting out of the business. So if you want some, take more. How much do you have? He goes, I got pounds. And I was like, I'll take it all. Oh, boy, Ari. Come on. And I gave, I gave everyone mushrooms, every, every comic.

I gave every, every grip, every fucking cameraman. At some point, the safety lady, I was like, I would go up to everyone. I was like, hey, do you do the mushroom? She goes, I know what you're doing. I cannot see it. Okay. Yeah. And I haven't got mushrooms. Aaron Berg, smuggled his home in a salad.

from Whole Foods because he was afraid of getting it back. Ali Sadiq didn't understand what I was giving him. And he goes, how did I know I'm a vegetarian? And he lost his mind in a hotel room and thought he became white. No way. Yeah.

And he told the story about it later. But like, yeah. I'm sorry, Ali. I thought you knew what I was doing. Who just gives dried mushrooms? Yeah, that is a peculiar gift. Oh, it wasn't in a chocolate or anything. It was just a caps of stems.

Broccoli in a baggie this bit. We weren't on mushroom. Right, right. That's, yeah. Also, what a good friend is Ollie there? He was like, I'm going to try Ari's gift. Also, yeah. Like, they look disgusting.

Maybe they're high in, like, yeah. Yeah. Anyway, there's my family and they're going to cut their job. You hear that burnt, it wasn't just you. Yeah, yeah. It wasn't. There's a history of this.

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for best, all these different categories on my podcast. You've been tripping, travel podcasts. You've done it? You've done it. You've been anywhere? Great pod. Yeah. Come on. I would left it. Okay. I've got good travel stories. Yeah, great. You got locked up and sweet. You got locked up in Sweden

Best episode, best trip, most dangerous, biggest piece of shit. This year, Lewis Gomez did that for making his son jump into off a cliff on waters. They're like, hey, you can't jump in here. That's low tide. You won most surprising this year. Oh, that's sick. That's sick. That was a great app to. That was a really fun app.

Yeah. The finalists were you and Tucker Carlson for not talking politics for an hour straight. Yeah, I think it's good I beat Tucker It's something It was Chip of the Year Steftola was guest of the year Oh wow Yeah I make little plug on and get you

Well thank you for that That was a fun F dude Yeah We went deep Anyway so It was taken for me And it was all fucking hole in my heart For a long time

Yeah because I think a lot of people assume that you just pitch the show To Comedy Central They said yes and then you did it I don't think they understood like the lore behind it Then it was a baby that you kind of brought up Yeah, like, who's this guy? Why is he even on this?

I'm like, no, they didn't cast me. Then it got cut out of you and they played soccer with it. Like, you just... Now we're making an a lot of course with his own story. I should not have told you that. I should not have told you guys that story. I am. It's a bad story.

I'm sorry. I shouldn't say that. There is something when you get that response when you go... Dude, what is funny about it is. The level of concern you had. And then the immediate laughter. Yeah. Because it's so wrong.

I love wrong. Yeah. It was so out of line what you said. Then I was like, damn. And then you're all tagging. I'm like, this is... I talked to team sport. Oh, wow.

Yeah. Dude, there was a guy. There was a Hasidic guy. I have new Hasidic fans. Yeah. And there was a acidic guy that showed up in my last special taping, Hasidic. So I was in the audience.

And my closure is a, is a, pro holocaust victim joke. Pro they should be victims. Oh, excuse me. Pro-the-Germen. And this guy, I mean, you know, see certain audience members, he was like, what the fuck?

I don't know what, you can't joke about this. So ecstatic. You didn't know that was a possibility. Yeah, this joke about what I told you was so wrong. It's so funny. Wait, so the guy liked the joke. So hold on the time. He loved it.

He was like, I wasn't allowed to laugh at it. I've never heard a joke. supposed to feel anger about this. Wow. So he was surprised by the Holocaust twice. This is not happening. That's my favorite.

The money of people leaving, the leaving interviews. They don't just take the thing. They always go, I understand it. It's a sound guy. I'm not going to fuck him over. That's how people on Twitter describe the Holocaust.

Fake? Yeah. This is not happening. We're cooking with gas, boys. We're cooking with gas. Okay, okay. So, you get an opportunity to get it back. Yeah.

Well, it's not an opportunity. I was like, I have to have some time to think straight. Well, the snow gets continued without you, which is, I think, an important distinction. Roy Wood took over. And to Roy's credit, called you, which is. 100% called. Said, hey, I won't do this if you want to do it.

What do you want me to do here? They told, like, let's discuss. And I was like, dude, if you don't do it... They're going to cut it from all these comedians. Comedians won't get a chance. Ryan O'Neill got it a chance that year. He wouldn't know if the show went away. I'm like, do it, dude, do it.

And I was like, but get that across the board deal. Make them buy a script from you. Like, they need you right now. Remember when South by Southwest didn't have any women? And then they were like, oh, shit, they got a key for it. And they went to, like, Chelsea Peretti. And she goes, I got paid. Because I know why you're calling me.

Yeah. Bring it. Yeah. Yeah, I'm feeling a hole for you. You're not doing this because you want me. Right. So you're going to be in trouble. Yeah, exactly.

So I was like, yeah, kidding. So we did. Honor the show, work, goofy outfit like I always did, you know. But, you know, it didn't end the way it should have ended, which is me taking it out. And so it was always like, I gotta get back to this. And then COVID hit. And I'm trying to look at the positives. That's my last special.

America's Sweethorn on Netflix. Find positives and everything. So sure I was out of a job, but I went to Ecuador for six months. I went to Ecuador for six months while my industry collapsed and every comic here was wildly succeeding. On the internet, I was taking off and eating fucking cooie and, and, uh, that's just to wrong. But like, uh, I had time to think clearly. And I'm like, it's time to do it again. I can, I can, all this stuff is off my, just like this trip.

Stuff's off my plate. I can think clearly. Yeah. And I'm like, yeah, let's do it. So I called Eric. I'm like, let's do it. And he's like, let's put in all our money. And then I talked to.

Tom Seguura and I was like, can you help? And he goes, I got a whole, I got a whole, like, not industry, what's it called? Team. Yeah, team, pretty much. Infrastructure here. Infrastructure. People that would love to make this the first non-Tom Segura production we make. Yeah.

We'd be on the show. He was, he had great, dosing himself on GHB and ending up in the hospital story early on. So he helped. And then we're like, let's make it. And we did, and then we start scouting places. We got to do it right. Cheetah's, the place we had is all built up and all, like, like, LED screens now.

You can't go back there. And then also we had to, like, separate a little from the old show. And then... You know where they did it? Right. The box. Oh, get out of here. Oh, it's fire.

That's great. That's fire. Had the vibe. The vibe we had to that tranny strip club in Montreal. Yeah. You go up the steps, you're seeing these, like, faded pictures of these, like, trans strippers. And you're like, I'm in a dark place now. And if somebody's telling me a story about some shit they did,

I'm not going to judge them. Exactly. Because this is not glossy. I like going downstairs to the cellar. Downstairs rooms. I agree completely. It sets its own for the audience. Like if you're doing it at like some,

some like university hall. It's just too high an expectation. Yeah. So it was like, yeah. So we're like, we found... The box is built around debauchery. Debrouchery. Perfect.

I mean, the last hour is... I don't want to get me in trouble. But I will tell you. So I went. last time they were like hey if you're going to do a show i was like you know what i need to hear the sound system in use and i want to see if they had tell the story about when you went i i need to go i mean chapelle used to throw comedians balls there yeah yeah um and i don't really know him that well yeah he's always got a posse of 30 people yeah i'm not that's not my vibe me and etelle once we used to

go diners every late night and then he comes upstairs one time he goes you guys want to go eat like yeah we're actually about to go eat sure and then 40 more people like yeah well i'm like enjoy buddy I'm not itching get close to you yeah yeah you throw these comedian balls which is like come

I want you guys to talk to each other shoot the shit beers on me drinks on me enjoy yourself I mean so cool and I saw him at the cellar brunch like a week or two later

I was like oh thanks for the comedian ball it's no problem I got a hand job upstairs it goes oh right man that's why I do it you're so stoked nice but anyway so I was like

I want to see it on the sound system You can't be in these hands. Let's get back to the old style of Andy. So I was like, let me see what I had to make sure this is not a comedy room. Yeah, yeah. So I got to see how it works. And I know they have cordless mics. I'm like, I'm going to put the stage in a different place.

I want to see how it works if they're in a different place. So I'm like, can I come one night? Absolutely. And I mean, the MC, she's got so much power. She's moving all around. So she is where we built the stage on the ramp down. And you can hear clearly. I'm like, fine.

But I'm up there. And I'm on way too much Molly. You're all going crazy. You're all going crazy. And I was just doing this and then I just heard, snap. And my tooth just shattered. No. Yeah.

I mean, it was good Molly. What a fun night. Like a back molar? Yeah, and just goes, and then I had to go to the dentist. Like what happened? I was like, I'll tell the assistant, but I'm not telling an actual doctor. You're not going to understand this. What a fun place.

What a fun place. Did you party the rest of the night? Because being on Molly and breaking your tooth, you're not feeling it. I'm not feeling it. I was like, we did it. Did you get a replacement tooth? Yeah, somewhere back there.

Gold tooth? Uh-uh. No offense, but... No, I didn't even consider it. That was actually... That might be you again. So we come together. Jews and blacks, no tipping and gold and grills.

Is there some Molly still stuck in there, dude? Oh, that'd be great. You floss and a trip a little. It's kind of nice. Yes, we did it there. It was so cool and iconic and like dark and like, man, I'm really stoked. It went so well.

Everybody brought it. It went so well. I'm happy. I know that's lame as a comedian, but I am happy. I have a awesome. I hate that thing where we've got to be miserable, sad, and molested. It's like, I think it's such an attention grab, to be honest.

Yeah. And everyone, are you fucking with it? So I was like, the time was like, I have a stream. Yeah, we all got to be molested. Yeah, we all got to be molested. There was a moment where it was like, somebody described it. You don't remember that. Comics started talking about, like, they got all their STDs they got and, like,

if they were touched and all this other shit. And I was like, okay, I got it. So it's this like, I'm incredibly honest about the weird. So you know what? With Ms. Pat. She brought me too. Radical vulnerability. Miss Pat was telling a story in Montreal, that's a strip club.

And she glanced over this. And I didn't understand it for like two minutes. But she goes, it was something along the lines of, my uncle took out of his dick in it smelled like raw chicken. And I was like, we're all laughing. And then I was like, wait, was she just, did she just say she got molested? She's a victim?

And she's not a victim. And she never will be. Wow. She played it as a comic. And I was like, that's the... I mean, I keep thinking about that for a decade. How cool that was to not wallow in it at all. To not lose her job.

Her job is funny. She's not going to be like, now let's get serious for 20 minutes in the middle for no reason. Yeah. Yeah, so anyway, I'm stoked. I finished the show. So Tom's like, I have a streaming, put it up on there. Yeah. We'll recoup, give out the money.

Yeah, so it's available right now. $5 off. Wait, wait, it's available to watch or it's available to pre-order? Pre-order now. $25 instead of 30 for seven hour-long episodes. Yeah, that's a great deal, dude. At first I was like $10 each, $70,

and then all the young staff of YMH is like zero chance. Well, people are hurting. Yeah. People are hurting right now. Yeah. But the lineup itself is crazy a lot. Yeah. I mean, like Shane to Norman to everyone else.

To read the comics. Yeah. It's crazy how much more successful this has become from when it started. Yeah. where Ralphie's like, he's the most successful one, it's like Tempe improv.

Yeah. Yeah. Now it's like arenas. It's crazy. That's so cool. No, no. Stadium's now. Yeah.

The link. Fluffy. You remember last time I was in here? Tell me. I had this memory coming up here. Last time I was in here, I think you were getting ready to play the Beacon or something.

Yeah. And I put this in if you could find it. I was like, I got a prediction that has not been done. I think you're going to play Madison Square Garden. No. And you're like, we'll see about that. Really?

Yeah. Here's a prediction before we leave. Yeah. Within, before 2025, Andrew Schultz will play Madison Square Garden. Oh! That'll be sick. And I will be there taking tickets.

Wow, you came, it's been that long since you've been on? It was Jew, it was special, she says 20... 23? Two, 2022, maybe. Yeah. Yeah, I was still mad at him. We gotta bring this up. Yeah.

We don't. So time does heal. Yeah, exactly. Pray for me. Pray for me. Pray for me. Ori is proof. Yeah, but I put all my money into this.

So like, you know. Go support it. Yeah. If you want to support this kind of outsider shit. Yeah. If you've ever wanted to support me, this is the time. Get your $5 off. It's like $3.000.

Three bucks an episode at this point for crazy names. And it's great. Anyway. It's awesome. I'm very excited for it. You said, when is it coming out? It's coming on April 16th, right before Hitler's birthday. Jesus.

Oh, 420. Also 420. 420 is a bad. And our guy, Tom Cassetta worked on it, too. Oh, yeah, shout out the goat, man. He's the guy. He's the god. Oh, you go.

Tom Cassetta. He is. I told you this before. If he's not available when I'm going to record a special, I don't do it. You don't do it. I try to tell everybody, man. It's kind of funny.

Did Norman's last one? Yeah, people will skimp. People will skimp on... Skip on sound. It's the one thing in comedy that you cannot skimp on. You've got to feel like you're in the room. Yes.

Yeah, it's an audio medium, really. Blind people can enjoy comedy. Deaf people have a way hard one. I wish they would. Wait, let's get back to this trip. Yes, yes, yes, yes. One, no, no, before we get back to the trip. Yeah.

It's called The End. Yeah, I was going to bring it up. It's a great title. I don't want it to be the end. It's the end, buddy. No, I want it to be more, man. I know. When I asked you, you're like, hey, eventually like, first you're like, yes.

There's a couple people like, yes, and then something came up and they could. Santino was like instant yes. And he's like, oh, dude, no, we've been planning this trip to Mexico for two years. I can't. I don't like. And he was like, you were like, yes. And you're like, hey, I haven't been on stage. Yeah.

I just can't. Let's see how this sells. it probably not going to be the end. It's not my driving force. It's not what drives me. But it is the end of the saga. I had a theory, the first thing. And now you get the ending that you never know.

It's a double meaning. It's the end, like a story. You know, the end. And it's the end of the story. The show has a story of its own. Yeah. Came from a fucking broom closet. Yeah.

It went up to this. We sold out the Rhyman theater with like surprise names. Yeah. And then now we're, it's... I don't want to harp on this anymore, but I do... You're like, I'll do the next season. I'm like, there's no next season. No, no.

What are you talking about? There's the next season. But like, to me, it's just, and I think Comedy Central's ego got in the way, and I think that ego got in a way of a lot of stuff when you're the only game in town. That often happens. And it's like, you know, that you maybe stop thinking that the town is the reason why things are successful. And you think that the executives are, but that's a different conversation. Right. But it's so rare that a platform is interesting for people that you do not know who they are.

You know, Kill Tony's been able to do this. Yeah. But this is so rare. So if I'm... Tony, Tony did this one also, by the other. Great story. But like, it's so rare. So if I'm in network, I'm looking at this and going, I've been spending so much money trying

to get people into the next generation of comics. And I have not been able to do it. Unfortunately, we all want to see our friends get opportunities. We all want to see them fucking blow up and succeed. And a lot of them do it. And then end up just clipping it and putting it online and hoping it works online. This was an actual property where people were excited about the story, not the person, telling you and then

Yeah, Ali, Miss Pat, you didn't know through the word. And then became excited about the person telling it and wanted to see more fucking stories from them. It is exactly what if I was in charge of a network or something is exactly the type of show that I would do to incubate talent. And if I actually really wanted

comics to become more successful and have flourishing careers, which should be the idea of your network because it's based on that. Like, it's the exact thing that I would want to. So again, I hope this crushes. I hope you never have to do anything that you don't want to do again. But there is a part of me that goes like, man, if this became another big platform, great

opportunities for comics who right now, I think kind of don't know what to do. They're like, do I post things on TikTok? Do I put a YouTube special out? There's a million YouTube specials out. It's like, I don't think a lot of them know what to do. That is, that is. And you're not picky on like name size. This has all the big names.

I want story. I'm like, so sometimes you would go to people's agents and I'm like, hey, do they have a story? They're like, are you all from the show? I'm like, no. It's like, what are we doing? I need to see what they're going to do. I need to see what they're going to do. And they're like, I'm not telling my high-end client that you want to talk to about a maybe booking.

I'm like, I should have gone to it myself right away. Yeah, I fucked up. I go on to the Jews first. Yeah, that is a nice thing to like get more up. The column was like, I'm excited for people to see something he worked hard on. And he lived like a piece of shit. He won piece of shit of the year for a Trippie Award. For the first year.

Like, yeah, like some of these guys, like, they were just, like, great. And I'm excited for you to see these unknowns that are like, that was awesome. The reason you go see a name is because you're more likely to have a good time. Yeah. I know if I go see you, this is going to be good. Yeah. If you go to Ohio restaurant, it's going to be a good meal. Yeah.

And so you don't want to take a chance on an unknown. But I'm telling you I vetted everyone. So trust me as the curator. Yeah. And that's what happens when, again, that's our thing. happens when you have somebody who's curating things that are going to be interesting and all it takes is one or two stories from somebody you didn't know

for you to be locked in and all it takes is one or two that suck from somebody you don't know for you to be out and I think that's maybe what Comedy Central might have learned or whatever but it's like you need somebody who is looking out for the product and the product

isn't necessarily just the biggest names yes this one has it but the people that are going to surprise you the ones that are going to blow you away that's kind of what's stains the product. But I'm not booking like Brad Pitt, who's like, I don't know if you're a good comedian. I'm booking Shane Gillis. He's like, yeah, he's a big name, but you're also a great comic.

Fantastic at the thing. It's like, yeah, Nate's a great comic. No one was a great comic before he was getting like sellout bonuses. Yes. So it's best of both worlds. Did you say no to any stories because you felt that, not on a quality basis, but you felt like the story was too vulgar, too intense, too political, or anything like that? No.

What about... Oh, no. I will say, I don't... I'm not that interested in stories about the industry. Yeah. It's very inside. Losing out of the part is, like, not that interesting. Yeah, the stakes are low.

Yeah. But no, go over... No, I would never... But what I think you do do is you'll be honest with the comic. Isn't good enough. Yeah. I've gotten people mad at me before, for sure. Where I'm like, it's not...

This is a story of something that almost happened. It was never really even on the table. You just thought it was going to happen. Yeah. And then you realize... The end of the end. Like, I wasn't even that guy. So you were never in any day.

It's a different, it's a different thing than stand-up. Like, there are people who are fucking amazing. We were talking about someone who was amazing at stand-up, like, amazing. And they worked on something. And you just, we're honest. You're like, hey, you're incredible. Like, you're the reason why I wanted you to do it. I don't know if this is there yet.

But that's the thing that I think when the network is making the decision, they're going, well, we already have them signed up for a special. So this would be a great promotional opportunity for the next special. And then you start diluting the... Yeah, Carmen Central was like, just do this, do it. I'm like, no, it takes some time. Like, well, they have a good story. I'm like, but they got to work out the beats of that.

It takes a while. Some of my stories have taken plus a year to get right, to find a right ending of like a thank you good night. Would you just know? It's like, that's just not easy. Yeah. Dream guest. They don't have to be comic, by the way.

They could be anybody. But somebody that you're like, oh, man, this guy tells great stories. I think this would be awesome. Jeffries, I was really trying to get. Oh, has he not done it? He's done it. The live shows are, to me, they blend in at this point because they're just so good.

Yeah, Jeffries is phenomenal. Yeah, he's a great story. Great story tell you. Who have never gotten? Any non-comic that you're like, every time I hear this guy talk, it's fascinating. David's Aderos would be really cool. Interesting.

Yeah, I'm trying to think. If I could get someone to, because we've had some non-comics on over the Henry Rollins told one of the best ever on the old is not happening. If I get someone to sell something out of who they, Like, if I could get, like, Meryland. Tucker Carlson to tell a story about following the dead around.

You know, back when he was a drug addict. Like, that would be interesting to me. Yeah. You know, Bernie Sanders losing his virginity story. Dude. Would be a fun, that would be a fun story. You know, those would be fun. You have to go go.

Jason Williams. Oh. White basketball player. Yes. Amazing. Dude. He's incredible. Fantastic stories.

He's incredible. Unbelievable. He's so into consider. I thought. Oh, Josh Hami would be a really good. When he gets into fights, Queens of the Stone Age lead singer. Oh, yeah, yeah. Him I actually tried to get a few times.

Really? We were not close, I guess, but like border there on Dolly Parton one year. Oh, no, not Dolly Parton. We tried to get her. The chick who died who had all the plastic surgery, the comedian, she's a comedian. She's a comedian, I guess. She was on Rivers. Yeah, it was close.

Oh, that would have been awesome. That's the thing. It's like, if you go with the celeb, if you go with the celeb pop in, it can't just be that they're a celebrity. Right, no. The story has to almost be. bigger than them being a select. The story Dolly Parton tells when she's on stage

is about her being poor in North Carolina. Not the first time I sold out an arena. Exactly. Who cares? Yeah, it's rude. Yeah, the story has to be primary. Yeah, Jay says it. He was like, don't ever tell a success story.

Oh, no, we don't want to hear that. That's what's the best. You ever have Kev on stage to it? Do you know Kev on stage? She's a comic. I just saw his new hour, and it's about, like, dealing with the grief of his brother passing away.

And it's like, the funniest thing, and you cry and then you laugh again, it's fucking... Kevin's amazing. It's amazing. It's a cool thing. He's a New Yorker? No, Atlanta.

Well, now he's in L.A. Atlanta. Anyway, I'm sure you're going to get these pictures more and more as this thing blows the fuck up. That was the cool thing about the old show is people will go, I have a story, can you come? 100% I'll come. And then like, yeah, aim. This is what Nate and I talk about.

Nate has a clean network so people can aim for something. Because all the platforms are gone and he wants them to aim. And there's so much out there that filtration is going to be good. And if I can't have you on, if it's like, oh, we got full or whatever, it's like, I'm sorry you got left with a 12-minute closer you worked hard on. You can use on the road. Yeah.

That's the other thing. It's like, you know, comedy, comedy when you are really working at it. Yeah. Reaps amazing rewards. And then sometimes it comes so naturally to people that the hard work is absent. You don't notice it. You don't notice it. I talked about Cassetta.

I was like, if anyone sees your hand in this, you failed. but the amount of work you're doing sounded good. You have no idea how hard he works. You know, you know, the first special that I, like, recognized sound? Do you know Bill Burr when he did the Royal...

Albert Hall? Albert Hall. Like Binder, it was the director of that one. I think. It was Paper Tiger, I think. Was that Paper Tiger? I think so. Okay. I would look up. But I saw this room that looked like the biggest room ever.

It's the way that it's shaped. It's beautiful. It's like an unbelievable. That was the first reverse shot that I'm like, this is justified. Because it's actually so cool. Usually they do it for like some other reason. I'm like, what do you show it? They do it for the reason of, is it? Is it? Is it paper tiger?

So they do it for the reason of look how big the room is. Yeah. But this room is so. I'm playing a big room trying to show off. But it's like, yeah, it was gorgeous. This room is gorgeous. Wow. And it's, it might be the most beautiful shot in a stand-up special.

And, but I remember looking at the size of the room and I go, how the fuck? Because, you know, Bill doesn't just do like, and punchline and then everybody laughs. He'll talk through punchlines. And, well, and, and, When you're in a room that size. You gotta wait longer. You gotta wait. But no, you could hear them laughing and him riding the momentum.

And it was kind of a dance. Wow. And I think what happens is a lot of times audio guys, we're going inside baseball. The second they hear someone talking, they go, we gotta take that. Exactly. And it's like, no, when you're at a comedy club, sometimes you'll miss a word. Right. Because it's fucking loud.

Early Rogan, I saw Rogan to come. He was like, when I was a door guy there, he was a crusher. Yeah. Just doing date night stuff and like Tigers fucking. and like a crusher. And like, you see this, it's a joy. It was awful. I'm just like watching comedians.

You're like, wow. And I remember people laughing in different parts of the joke. So like, they be dying, I can't hear you. Now I'm dying, you can't hear. And then it's back and forth on who can hear and who can't. But he was just bully through. And that's what works. That's Boston comedy.

Yes. Yeah. Like, I don't have time to breathe because you'll call me a homosexual. Yeah. For real, burn. Yeah. So it's like, Patrice. Yeah.

It's a fight. of just kind of stepping on it. And I heard it from that special I was like, wow, whoever did this is brilliant because they found a way to maintain the momentum. And then you're watching it and you kind of get caught up in the momentum.

Who did the sound on it? We looked. But, and then we got the cassette, I think, for Infamous. And he just fucking did this unbelievable. He gave us a pass for Infamous where he didn't even touch it. It was the first thing.

And I was like, I thought you edited the whole thing. He was like, no, this is what I did live. I got him for 80. June special. Yeah. Produced. At the Vue, right? Seller.

Oh, you did it at the McDougal? Yeah. McDougal. Wow. Okay, cool. Yeah, I try to help some comics do their specials and they each need something different. Yeah. Yeah, she needed money and a director. Yeah.

I was like, I'll get your money back. So I'll put in the money. And then we got the best director, Louis C.K. Yeah, Louis did. Who made it look so cool. But cassette put it in there. And so 144, seat room. God, by the way, so

he's so fun talking to Louis about it because he's also a comic. So I'm like, I don't want more than 12 seat kills, more than 14. And he goes, that's 10% of the audience. Nine, nine. Oh, great. Taking care of. I don't have to worry about that all day. But then Cassetta comes in, I'm like, how many, how many mics do you have? He's like,

one for every seven people. No, it's unbelievable. Everyone else puts in, like, one zoom and hopes. It's the nice thing about comics putting their own shit out is that we will know, who did it. Who did? Did it sound was Michael Alcantara and Teddy Salas was the mixer? Great job, guys. Yeah.

But yeah, like us putting out our own shit, we understand what it should sound like. So I was with Cassetta doing the levels for this before I left town. I was like, get bass levels so you can work while I'm gone. Let's get the right, like, lean into the art lead in, you know? And then I was like, you're working on Normans. And he goes, actually, I just got told that I'm not. Yeah. Because he's, he's like, I don't know, he's like, this is costing me way too much money.

And I texted Norman. I'm like, dude, you can skimp out on whatever you want. Not the sound. Not the sound. That is money well spent. And then I got a call from the cassette of like, did you say something? I'm back in. That's his special that just came out.

And it sounds great. Telling you, bro, it's the number one. Yeah. And there's one guy that can do his name is Tom Cassetta. Mm-hmm. And do you. And dova. Well, Tom works with Duba.

Yeah. Now Tom is just doing amazing shit. Anyway. But okay, so before we wrap this up, back to your journey. Yeah. Can I ask you a question? Please. Yes, sir.

In your travels. Did you? I'm very studious today. That's the vibe. Did you cry at all? Like, was there a moment where you were just like, you cried? Did anything affect you emotionally? Yeah, I was on mushrooms.

And beyond what I saw for this later, so the sun is setting and it's like cloud forward. Like, you're way above. When you're way up in the mountains, the sunsets for like an hour. Because you're like above, you can see the horizon. And I'm just like, in a fever dream. I'm right in all what I've got to do out that you'll see when you get it. Yeah, I thought about my dad as a real person for the first time, maybe ever, and not this guy I grew up with and what, like, a teddy bear is

and how much he loves his grandkids. And, like, yeah. And then I was with a bunch of people, and we're in this outlook, all on shrooms. And then I went to the bathroom, and they cut out a hole in the back. bathroom so you could see this view and I just had a nice cry. I just had a good nice cry. Why were you and him estranged? Not estranged but like he was the not scoldy but he was like he ran it.

Strict. Yeah and then. So you didn't get the lovey part. It was still loving but it but it's just like. Not like with those grandkids. From what I've known him now it's like you spent way more time being this teddy bear that being this guy who was disappointed that I ate cheeseburgers. That was like actually a minor

part of my life. Yeah. Right. Way longer. It's just like, so happy to be able to cook for me and like, oh, really? Like, I'm going to make you sauteed onions. You like, it's just like, oh, yeah. And then I was like, I'm going to call him way more on this trip because he did it. He went to America. He took a boat to America in like the 60s. No way. Yeah, and had his own vagabond experience. Where was he from? Romania. And then they relocated Israel after Romania lost a war badly. Oh, no. Yeah, spend time in a camp and then got freed and then they moved to Israel and then when he got out of the army, he came here. Wow. Started alive.

So I'm like, oh, I should, you know, I should include you in this more. He's proud of me and I'm like, I should include you. So yeah, that was definitely a good. How old is he? I think he's almost 90. Wow. Or just hurting. That's awesome.

Yeah, it is a weird thing because like your dad is your dad for like 16 years, 17 years, you know? And then you're on your own. And then he's mostly just like a cool. guy you know yeah yeah greg fitzs simmons told me this which i think a lot of parents need to know i'm like how's your relationship with your kid now that he's like grown up is like it goes it's great i have made a friend he is my friend we're into the same sports teams i just never can lose track of i'm not the advice giver anymore and if i give him advice it's just like me giving anyone advice and they're not asking if he asks i can offer but i don't run his life anymore so he's on his own

and I just always have to remember that because you've given so much advice for 18 years They have that memory like I remember my dad is the guy that was in charge of me and my dad remembers me is like the person who he's in charge of when the reality is we're just two men that hang Yeah what kind of scotch do you like I like this

Peaty that's crazy oh I like smooth oh okay Yeah oh yeah good taste Man what a transition for the dad Yeah to do that to not be the Mom I think is worse because you're really like caregiver but you can kind of keep doing that though Yeah, I feel like, Mom's like, I'm not stopping that. Yeah, and we kind of want that.

Yeah, you kind of want the nurturing all the way to the end. Yeah. But dad, you really kind of lose, oof. Yeah. Yeah, you're crazy to think about it. Disciplinary for all this time, and then it just stops. Yeah. Your mom, you still live in the same state as your mom was city.

Yeah, yeah. Yeah, if you get sick, she'd be like, no, please let me come over. No? Nice. It's funny you brought that up. No. I'll bring your teddy bear?

Maybe that could be a story. No, no. Not Blakey? No. Who brings your blankie then? My wife don't even take care of me when I'm sick. To be honest, it's you know. I'm the same way.

I'm like, get out of here. I don't need your fucking sympathy. I'm complaining like crazy and I just roll right through her empathy. She got a short empathy battery. It's like turbo in one of the racing games. And she goes through that so fast. Yeah. Dude, I went to a game of Guatemala.

What type of game? What type of game? Soccer. Oh. Is that this? Is that what you have up there? Oh, yeah, we got some odds for the World Cup. But anyway, go on.

So there's like a game. I'm like, sick. I don't go. Any local sports, I'm like, let me check it out. For a Fluminense game in Brazil. And like, it's fun. And so I'm there, and it's a rivalry game, which means no liquor. I'm like, okay.

And everyone parties outside. I love it. Everyone partying outside. And then it starts pouring rain. So this is Shella. And so he's all pouring into these bodegas and everyone's drinking and stuff. And these guys are like, what are you for

why are you here? You're clearly white Guatemala the shortest country in the world really? Yeah, if you have any handyman they're all five, six and below people go like

what happens to the Mayans? It disappeared and it's like, no we didn't, we just put on T-shirts Yeah, they wear a hoodies and we drive from the Carolas which is tiny so anyway we start talking and I was like, what do I got to know?

They start teaching me chance you know Dalae d'alee super cheeva They teach me all these fucking things. And then like, the seven-time cup winners of Guatemala. And then it's like, all right, learning these chance. And then I'm like, there's no, there's no liquor in there. So we got to get drunk here.

It goes, there's liquor in there. I'm like, what do you mean? Like, we sneak it in. I'm like, what do you take a bottle? No. They take little baggies, pour Ketzel teka, this like their local bathtub liquor, poured in there. And then like spin it up and tie it, put it in their balls.

No way. Yeah. And I'm like, so you have a bag on you? He goes, bro, I have a leather. I'm like, what? He's under each arm all around here. What if they could, where do they touch your sack? It's a sack as a sack.

Stack is a sack. What are they going to know? And then you pull it out and bite them and just suck it all out. And so that, yeah, bro. How good was that? You got fucked up, huh? Fucked up. And so then, and so then I'm like, I'm like, all right, where am I sitting?

I'm like, well, I'm not going to say, I research where to sit. You don't sit, definitely don't sit in the away section. Of course. And I'm like, these home fans are like, you can't do that either. because I don't know enough. I don't know a chance. But they're teaching me a chance. I'm like, no, I'm sitting kitty corn like right here.

You love the taste of dudes' dicks, bro. It's so stungling. It's so sweet in a way that it's like tropical pineapple. The hooker was like, I can spit on it or I was like, no, no, no. No, I'm waiting though bad. I'm tired. He taught me how to do my own. So I'm like, I'm not saying,

It goes, no, sit with us. And I'm like, why? He goes, no, I can't. But there's not seats. There's, like, sections. Yeah. And he goes, sit with us. I'm like, are you sure?

I taught you the chance, you're fine. They had this giant, like, 30 foot long flag. And as they bring it in, like, grab it, grab it. Pretend you're like one of the holders. Sort of like, I'm in there. And then, like, I'm in the section. So I'm in there. I'm like, nice.

This has got me in, like, three dudes from the hostel. And then all luscious sticks. And then, um, and then some guy taps me in the shoulder. It goes, uh, in Spanish. I don't forgive him exactly because you can't be here. And I was like, what? And he goes, and then he spoke to English. He goes, you cannot sit here.

And I was like, oh, okay. And then that dude, way up, he goes, he's cool, he's with us. And he goes, okay. And then, dude, fireworks, everything, like right next to you. It's so fucking fun. They do sports so much better than we do. Yeah. Is it because the people are so in a rivalry day?

Yeah, yeah. It's like a 5,000 seat or two. It wasn't even like this. Yeah, it wasn't even like a crazy thing. That's so cool. I mean, you've heard like, who was it, Joe Kitch? Like, talking about, maybe it was Luca. Yeah.

Talking about, like, playing in America. I'm not nervous. I've played in this. Yeah, exactly. The Serbian basketball league. Yeah, yeah. The videos of that, it's like this crazy. Yeah, they got flares and shit indoors and drums and stuff.

He's like, that's what I grew up. Oh, the drums? Somebody takes, like, a full marching band drum and they're beating it. Yeah. They go for it. And that's just like Ben Stiller on four seats or something. Like, that's like his biggest concern. It's so different.

Like, even for the baseball games, they were going crazy? Going crazy. Same vibe. Fettie drums. Everybody knows the chance. I met a dude who fucking, I was wearing, I took only stuff that I could deal with not bringing home. I'm like, there's a chance this doesn't come back with you. Yeah.

Right. So I took a Yankee giveaway nasty Nestor shirt because he's not on the Yankees anymore. Just his mustache. Nasty Nestor, he rules. Nestor Cortez. And I had it with me. Some guy sent me a beer, and I'm like, okay. Then he sent me another one, and I tried to send him.

He's like, no, no, no. And I went over to talk to him. I'm like, I don't want the, I can afford a beer, but like, he's 16. He's with his mom. I didn't realize he wasn't of age. Because I love the Yankees. I'm a huge Yankees fan. I'm a huge Kansas fan.

I'm a huge Kansas shirt. I think it's so cool. Bought me like two more beers. And eventually I'm like, bro, this is yours. He goes, no, fucking way! And I just made his day. It's like, it's a Yankee giveaway. I'm like, it's from the stadium.

What the fuck? You're just We're homeless the rest of the day? Yeah. There's one rule I live by and it is sun's out guns out. Fuck yeah.

The sun was out. That's awesome. Do they play baseball, Mexican? Mexico, yeah, for sure. Dominican Republic is the wildest. Yeah. Like even the way they play, like the style of play? Like, do they do anything?

Yeah. Yeah, so you know, run, they put this elephant head on you, like a ganiche head, and then they knight you. And then, you know, it's crazy. It's so fun. Wait, Guerrero's rule. Yeah, dude.

Guerrero's are electric. What's the standings right now? Can you bet on that fucking Mexican League baseball? No, I looked up. You can't? I tried. I mean, you can. It might be all season now.

The playoffs was in like August. Close. Oh, that's so sick. Do you miss it at all? Yes, hella. Interesting. Hellah. Yeah, the freedom, the complete lack.

of responsibility. And I started, as I'm coming back, I started talking to Eric online about like, let me do some of these edits. They make sure this is all run right. And like, how do we plan this? Telling him my vision that I saw of how we're going to like frame the show.

But I'll deal with it in a week. Nope. And now it's like, I just remember every time I get back. It's like, oh shit. But I'm going to go this way. That somebody tells you about some place. And you're like, fuck it.

Yeah, fuck it. I'm going this way. That's so. Except for meeting O'Neill in Machupeachia and being in Ushua on December 19th. That was the only thing. Yeah. And is there a part of you that if you didn't have to have to is a wrong word? But like if you weren't creating, you would like to just do that as your life.

There is, you know how you look back on your life and you're like, there's a sliding doors moment where you like you might not have done this if you took a job, you know, and something. And it was like close. You were down to the last two of getting this job and you wouldn't have, if I got the job building the website at the health network or Discovery Channel, I wouldn't be a stand. I wouldn't be a stand-up. And I was trying for it, and I was close. Or on this trip, there's a step or two where I'm just not coming home. Wow. I felt that when I was living in Barcelona.

Just like, why am I going about it? I was living like 10 euros a day, five euros spent to get into the nightclub, the cat of the beard. It was so much fun. I was with these guys who were kind of like, no tips, expected. Boom. One person tells that fisherman story and you're like, four pounds? Yeah, why am I working so hard? I should just fish all day.

Yeah. What hell am I doing? Yeah, I had that feeling. Maybe I just won't actually. You see it as an option. I got scared. I was like, ooh, this is too comfortable. I got to get back to reality.

One good date and then you're stuck there. One good date and you don't leave. Isn't that crazy? Yeah, it is reality. Why can it be? And my friends there, Vak kind of was their life. Some like Russian kid who moved there and he was there kind of illegally and he was finding ways to make ends meet.

And like, we were living in some illegal dwelling and like fucking with the electric meter so we didn't have to pay. electricity, like, but the life was great. And I was like, I got a lot back in. There's a bravery in accepting the mundane, though, I think. Like being like, you know what, this isn't enough. I mean, if you have to raise a kid and you're trying to man up about it, you want to leave, you want to be like rabbit or something running.

But like, overall, no. No, that's a cowardice. No, no, no. I think like almost accepting mediocrity to be like, you know what, this is good enough. Like, what I have is enough and I don't need to, I don't want, I don't need to, chase this crazy dream. Whatever I have in front of me, I can live with this. That's what you meant by Monday. Like, if you're just living a life in some random town of South America,

and this is awesome. I am now appreciating the little things here, brushing my teeth of sink water. It's like a joy that I know I'll lose, but I every time like, no, this is crazy what I'm doing right now. It's weird how you're like flushing toilet paper instead of throwing it away where someone else can smell it. Yeah. The brain turns back on when you come back to the first world. I'm still saying this as an outsider. So I'm starting to see what people are doing.

The amount everyone here is consumed with politics. Oh, dude. It is kind of wild. I forgot about it. And you come back, the mothership green room. Like, guys, there's sports going on. Say something. Tell me about a chick that was hot.

Something, dude. Did you ever see someone with surreal palsy fall? Mention that. These are fun moments. Let's connect. Yeah. No, it just becomes like part. of culture. Yeah, and it's like, do you guys

even care about this for real? For real, for real? Or you expected to care? I don't know if it's expected to care. It's all around. I just think it's all in the space. So they're like, everyone's talking about this. I guess like, I guess I'm, okay, if you're not in this football and the Super Bowl's happening,

you're going to sort of be into it. Yeah. I don't care about the ask. I hate actors. But when the officers comes up, it's in my purview. Yes. So I guess that's what happens here. And it's inescapable if you're spending six hours on your phone. Right. Which is what you're going to. And they pull the move of if you're not political, you're actually privileged.

Which I get, I understand the sentiment. Nice privilege. I get it, but it's also like. But also, you know who else does? It's not political. Some fucking struggling Dominican in the Bronx. You know, who's like, I don't have, I don't have time for that. I'm trying to pay my rent.

Yeah. So it's like, no, I actually think it's an act of revolution. They're like, I'm not caring about this. Let me ask you how your kid is or you know, something. Let's talk in real life, one-on-one. Let's actually connect my friends. That's the way to fight back. Let's go see a movie, man.

Tell me something good. Instead of like, I find out what some politician did in some place that you have, it'll affect you, but you can't change. I don't know. Let's hang out. I agree with you. Is there a new bagel place in town? A couple weird questions.

Did your body have to get used to the food? Because like the water, different type of cuisine. I brought back with me a diary. from Mexican street meat at Carnival that stayed with me for two weeks and I just took a solid log. I mean, just took one. Yeah, because that's rough.

Like, what do you do with the water and shit? Like, you can't... I got food poisoning four times. Oh, wow. Bobby Kelly said this. It's funny. It goes, it is safer. It is more dangerous to brush your teeth with tap water there

than it is to brush your teeth here with toilet water. Oh, yeah. Yeah, that's probably... That is kind of crazy. That's how crazy we live. We have drinkable toilet water. Yeah, I used to joke about that,

but like most countries don't have water, and I take a shit in drinking water every single day. It is wild. But Simons had a booker, but like our first world were over, like, were you flush before you shit? You're like, I'm not shitting on pissy water. Yeah.

Yeah. So, yeah. So what was the question? No, no, no, it was just about, did your body get used to? Yeah, my knees got fucked from carrying around 75 pounds on me all the time. My knees were both like fucked and they're now recovering. But it was like running with this backpack and it was like not great for you.

How many pairs of pants, like how many pairs of sneakers? Like what is the, what is the bring? Pack super light. What is super light? One backpack, one Osprey, 55 liter with a 15 extra zip off pouch. Pack has to be able to overhead in case. But give me the quantity of. Pair hiking pants, a pair of jeans.

Beans also, most people like, don't bring jeans, that's too heavy. But? But I like jeans. I wear jeans. Even when it's hot, I wear jeans. A pair of jeans, a pair of hiking pants. Shoes? They have to be usable for two things.

So hiking shoes, they're dark enough color that I can wear if I went to a decent restaurant. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Hiking boots, zero chance. Way too big. Yeah, yeah. Take half your bag. When you go to Montrepechu, anything you need to rent in Kusco for that, you could show up with shorts and nothing else, and you can rent it. Okay.

Yeah. So rented boots. I rented every, that's rain gear. Pancho. One of those little ones for the rain. Ah, yeah. Your pills. Zithromycin.

So you'll take eight months of pills? No, but. Enough Z-Pax. I hate to say this, but the healthcare system here is pales in comparison to a lot of. You can just walk into the pharmacy. I need a try pack. I need Zithamacin 500 milligram three of them. Like, okay.

Wow. No one's O-Ding on this. You're naming it. You definitely want that. I had to get my eye treated like a pink eye for some fucking hostel in Peru. And I went into a pharmacist, and I'm like, hey, he goes, is it itchy or is it pain? Is it wet or is it dry? And I told him, he's like, all right, take these drops three times a day for five days.

It was. There's no, have to go to a doctor who then has to tell you to go to another doctor. because it has to tell you to go to a pharmacist, even with insurance, you're still paying more than I paid for the same chemicals there. How annoying is it? You go to a doctor, they go, yeah, you pick it up over there. It's pretty annoying.

Yeah. What the fuck? So I had to get a cortisone shot in my knee. I had surgery and it was like wearing off from all the stress. In Brazil, I went to a doctor in Salvador, and he was like, okay, let's do it. I had to wait all day. But still, you got it that day. And then a day later, I'm like, oh, I'm fine again.

And you weren't in a rush. No. How did you get pink eye? Do you know how you got pink eye? I don't always wash these sheets right, these hostels. Sometimes they're just like, oh, I'm just going to make this bed. They nickname girls hostels now. Dude, I was in East Dmore, a long time ago when I went to Southeast Asia,

and I was in Dilley, the Capitol, and I picked a zip. And then I didn't realize, but it was bleeding, not heavily, but a little bit. And I laid in the pillow, I was like, ah, shit. And there's just little piece of blood that big. And then I went on this, like, motorcycle, moped ride around the country for about a and came back to that hostel. I was like, oh, I got my bed again. And the bucket pit is right there on it still.

And I'm like, you know, guys, once you get bedbugs, the words out, you're done as a business. Yeah. Yeah, you've got to really search, like, reviews for bedbugs. If you see any, like, can't stay here. I cannot stay here. I can't risk throwing away all my stuff. So if you buy any shirt, if you bought like a, like a, you know,

a Shela jersey, I got a chuck a t-shirt. Ooh. I had a hoodie. that i brought that i don't need from chilco charlie's they gave me an anchorage and i was like i have no i didn't play there so i have no emotional connection but it was a black switch and i ended up i lost it and something bad happened and i lost it got blood all over it was done and then um what bad there's like we uh me and o'neal found a we found a kid uh yeah it was whatever what Yeah, it was stressful.

Yeah, just some kid was hurt. Is he okay? Yeah, he survived. Well, yeah, say that part of the fucking survived. This is at Machu Picchu? No, this is near Rainbow Mountain, near Peru, near Cusco. He got an accident? Yeah, him and his sister.

Is she okay? Yeah, they're both fine. Okay. Life-thru ending injuries? Oh, yeah. And you guys were the first ones on the scene? Yeah. Oh, my God.

Yeah, and you got pretty fucked up by it, to be honest. You brought them to a place? Yeah, we brought them to a hospital. We were in the middle of nowhere. These are villager kids. What the hell? Yeah. Did you have any run-ins with, like, cartel and shit like that?

Medelline, one. Oh, outside of that, yeah. But no, no, no. No. Anyway, the sweatshirt's gone. So then it's like, sick. I get to get a new, look at the positive. I get to get a new something from local

that I'll have as a souvenir and a memory of a place. Yeah. Wow. That is a good way to look at it. Yeah. And some kid got a new sweatshry. Yeah. And at some point when I left the Andes, I was like, I don't need warm weather stuff anymore.

And I'm chucking this shit because I've been carried around for forever. Yeah. Any experiences with like witches, spiritual stuff? Yeah. I just told this story on Tom was interviewing me about my trip. But yeah, I found a witch in Abuja in Peru and Lima. I mean, I just told us on you be tripping. Did she believe you believed it?

No, sorry, did you believe she believed it? Oh, yeah. Did you believe it? Dude, she had. So, yeah, we all went to the witch market in Lima in a place. Do not go there. Why? It is dangerous.

In what way? Outside of the, there's a witch market area of a main market, but just outside that market, it is locals. Like, I am not dropping off a block. walk away. The Rabb you? Yes. Why'd you go? I wanted to see the witch market. Listen, I travel a lot.

I'm not a good traveler. I have some notes here. They're like, I have good advice. I was in Athens playing, and at the end of my show, I'm like, I'm going to walk home. So nice out, you know? And the guy's like, no, I'll drive you home. And I was like, nah, it's 90 degrees out. I'm in Athens.

I want to see it. And he goes, no, dude, I'll drive you home. And I was like, bro, I travel a lot. I'll be fine. He goes, well, then you would know you're going to walk right through heroin alley. And they will rob you. I'm like, oh, no, I didn't. He goes, I'll drive you further away if you want to walk.

They're like, no, I can't let you walk through there. And what is it, which market? So they have, like, fresh produce area. They have, like, shoes area. All the goods are in one place. All pants, all indigenous garb, all, like, plumbing equipment. So it's, like, 20 stores in a row. And then in this one, certain ones have, like, something.

unique to just there. So just a bunch of witches? In Belrojante, it's all this crazy fruit you've never heard of in Brazil, and it's all these witches. And they're at desks? Some are real. Some are fakers, according to them. They're like, oh, she's real, he's real, don't listen to him, don't listen to him, don't listen to her. And how are they dressed? Indigenous garb, not like hats, but just like some Bolivians.

Oh, tons of spells, tons of bruise and like ground up frog. What'd you ask for? I didn't ask for any. I asked for to get my Coca-A-leas read. And? Because it was like fun. I asked about this show the end. So they go, she goes, so,

so I'm there with a few people from the hostel. I hooked up with one of them. And they're getting their tarot card read. I'm cutting, once a month, I didn't do my ads for my podcast. And then do all my, hey, my Instagram stories I sent off to one person at YMH would forward to everybody. Check out, you know, Tom Rhodes on my podcast. Okay, check out this on my podcast.

I pre-recorded 100. Yeah. So I had a year plus of podcasts that would just come out, bomb gone. Yeah, I did it right. They're off getting their terror red. This guy stops in the middle and looked at one of the chicks and was like, there's a guy that you've had sex with who is cursed. And these two chicks are getting their terror red.

He stops in the middle of it and talks about an unrelated person who he's never met. I was off on my own thing way away I didn't drop them off at the door they went and found this guy he's cursed and he needs a cooineggro treatment cleansing a cool what a black guinea pig

sorry yeah I'm helping you I'm helping you but you're like yeah someone said it and they told me later they're like he stopped

and they went back to the tarot and he went back and he goes hey I'm not joking you've been connected somehow Is there a guy in your life? And she's like, I mean, I guess recently, yeah, he's got a curse on him. I could feel it on you. Not the other shit, just the one chick.

And so, and then he was like, here's your fortune, whatever. And they told me that. I was like, that's crazy. We're in a different whole area. I mean, these are like blocks wide. And I was funny. Like, you know what? I'm going to get my coca leaves red.

We passed when I was like, hey, I want to do Coca-R, they want to go tear it? I'm like, nah, coca leaves. And she's doing, it's fun. It's a nickel, you know, more, but like, not much. And she's throwing down Kokely. She goes, do you have any questions that you want to ask? I didn't know how it worked. And I was like, yeah, I was like, I have a project coming.

How's it going to go? She goes, all right, it's not like you, it's not going to go exactly like you planned, but it will be successful. Who knows what the fuck that means? Successful is lots of different things, different people. So who knows? I was like, okay, interesting. And then she's like, okay, and then you, hey, I'm sorry, you got a real bad curse on you.

Holy shit. And I was like. And this is a different person. A hundred percent different person. A Bolivian witch. You don't think they're like talking amongst? Listen, all this is possible. Okay.

But like that one didn't know. Why not try to cheat the girls? Why not get the upsell on them? Yeah. And I was like, what? She goes, it's a, I can feel it, man. It's a bad curse. And then she's like, okay, she goes, you need a black Kui

treatment. You need a Kui Negro treatment. Cleansing. I was like, well, let me think about it. And this was like seven nickels. So I'm like, I don't know. Then went outside, got somebody to eat, came back. Got robbery attempt on the way back. Some old lady stopped in front of me.

I'm like, oh, that one's pushing. And I'm like so crowded. And then somebody later was like, hey, check your back wall. Like, that was a, they're in their team. I didn't have anything in my back pocket. So I'm like, oh, cool. One of the chicks is like, my necklace is gone. Oh, wow.

Yeah. Yeah, so I was like, I'm going to do it. It's fun. Even if it's nothing, it's still fun. Absolutely. You know? I mean, you'll get your fortune teller right here. It's like, I'm drunk, let's do it.

Yeah, so she starts, I have to hold this fucking black guinea pig in my shirt, in my Medellin soccer team. jersey um knockoff um shirt it's clawing at me she's got like a swath over me what the fuck um yeah i could see i got some pictures like i can show you it just me with this thing and it's like con she goes you gotta pet it it's actually still an animal so calm it down a couple of hours she's like you gotta let it soak up the little whatever and then afterwards she was like okay let's take it out and then she like says all these incantation what's your name and i was like Ari, Shafir, she'll undo your hands.

I'm like, okay, she takes me to the back. I'm undo my hands. And then she's like, what's your father's name? And she says my name, my last name over and over again. And then she, like, hits me with these leaves. It's like, these, like, all this flowers. She puts, like, all this water on it. She said the word, I just spent time in Portugal.

All my Spanish was gone. She said, take it, which I thought she meant. Toma. Toma. Toma. Toma. Yeah, I think Toma. But I thought she meant keep this. But she meant take it.

the pain. Oh, Dura. Yeah. Yeah. Also, she's Bolivian, so it's a different accent from Peru. You get used to each accent.

She'll like forget it. Oh, yeah. You will not understand them. Webon. Yeah, like, what? And then you get to, like, and then you get to Argentina, Uruguay, and they put CH's.

Yeah. It's not Yerba, Sherba. Come up to Shama. Sherma. Yeah. I'm like, oh, what?

Yeah. So, yeah, she sort of slapped me. She takes these swords. It goes like this on my back and my side and my stomach. With swords? Two like swords like this long. It just goes like Turn around

But like cutting the skin open? Yeah, I was scared no Just like right next to me And then and then taps me with this shit And she's like Okay, no meat today Today Um

Oh so then she takes this poo Skinny pig and it's like Go whatever and she's rubbing it on me And then and then it's like Whatever and then it's just like It just died The guinea pig died? Yeah

Like she killed it or it just stopped being? Maybe she squeezed it? I don't know I don't know. I mean, it's, listen, I don't know. I don't know. Did you see a die? She goes, if it's an okay curse, it'll live.

Either way, you're getting the treatment. And if it's a major curse, it ain't survived. You're going to make it. Yeah. So you sacrifice a guinea pig for yourself. Yeah, it takes the curse. And then she goes, hey, that's not enough. You got to do another one.

She goes, this is a worst curse than I thought. You got to do it. I'm like, okay, she goes, just one. Plus, you get to eat a frog treatment at the same time, and we'll read your egg. She cracked this egg and water and she sees all these tendrils. She goes, these are people who have evil eyes on you. This is loved ones.

It's fun. It's fun either way. The healthcare is good there. That's amazing. This is wild. They're getting this all done right now. So I was like, hey, she goes, no meat, no coffee. Her day come back tomorrow.

I was like, hey, I got reservations. This is my one splurge at a really nice restaurant in Lima tomorrow. She goes, okay, come back the next day then. But then that morning, no meat, whatever. But definitely no meat today. went back again. Did you do no meat? The next day she goes,

you can do it, but the day after, don't meet that day. Yeah, I don't fuck with it. You agree with that. I was like, hey, eight more days, no meat, do not fuck with this. No sex, I forgot about masturbation.

I don't remember what they said. But like, no sex, no meat, no booze. And they go, don't fuck with it. I was like, can't have a cigar, can I? And they're like, why wouldn't you be able to have a cigar? Like, it's a sister drug. I'm like, I don't. Yeah, they use that in ayahuasca ceremonies.

They'll blow it in your face. They take it, they squeeze it. This was liquid, whatever, and they could snort it, and you're like, whoa. Oh, yeah. You were up. Yeah, but they said, they said, like, we've seen people, like a couple here, and they're like, all right, six days later. Like, we're good now. Let's have sex.

And they go, they start fighting. They broke up like two months later. Okay, so tell me, you go back. Go back. Way bigger, coi. Getting you picked. Also Negro. You know what that word is. That is the right word.

That way calmer, way bigger. yelled it again for a few hours and a frog that she put in a plastic bag that suffocated instantly she wasn't pretending that took a curse you got to hold that next to you same thing you got a wide okay can i stand up still have me okay does the same shit again all the uh all the stuff all the shakers the beads in a thing and then she's taking it and rubbing it on me and it's like squealing whatever and and it's like just normal like regular gets to my foot oh so i asked you about the curse. And she goes, I was like, who cursed me? She goes, I don't think it was meant for you. To be honest, I think you stepped in someone else's curse. It was meant for someone else and you got

in the way. I don't know, you pissed a lot of people off at what time. I think, uh, buddy, I asked. I said, was this curse somewhere around January? I asked. I go, I 100% I know in this case. They come from Southern California? 100% I knew in this case. Yeah, I was like, was it in the Southern California area right around January of 2019? And she got to this. She goes, no, no, no. It was not, I was like, are you sure? Because I know I had a lot of people. I was like, I know when this came.

She goes, no, it wasn't meant for you. Wow. Pro, I asked her specifically that. Was it a woman you hooked up with or something? Is that the idea? It wasn't meant for me. It wasn't somebody put it on me. It was like, you stepped in it.

But like literally stepped in it? So I don't understand. There's like language bearers and this colloquial. Baby in this country can mean. soccer ball. In Israel, it doesn't mean... So wrong. It's so wrong.

Wait, what does it mean in Israel? It means a child. They don't have the... Hey, baby, you say that, they're like, what are you talking about? They say past the chicken, they go, mock, mock, mock, mock, mock. It's foul. You don't say chicken.

It's like poultry. Yeah, poultry. So anyway, so she's rubbing it on me, and when it gets to my left leg, it starts going crazy. And she goes, oh, yeah, you stepped in it. That's where you got it on your foot. And I was like, really?

She goes, yeah, I mean, it's going nuts. Again, I don't know. I don't know, but it was interesting. And then she goes up, it kind of stops. She goes, oh, yeah. And then she gets to the other leg, and it goes, Ah, dead. That's what you stepped in it.

Your right leg. Your right foot. And then are you cured of it? She goes, you curred. I have some charms. I want you to keep with you for about a year. I'm going to take a picture of you. I'm going to talk to for a while

with Bolivia like. be able to Machu Picchu. She goes, yeah, man, we had to cross over through there. And talk, I'm two hours, three hours. I'm like two different times. I'm talking. You don't have to like chance or anything. So, yeah, she goes, it was there.

Step down on your right foot. And then she goes, I'm going to take a picture. I'm going to put it on my table. I'm going to pray for you. But you're good. You're good. No meat tonight. No coffee.

No coffee. No cigarettes. Tomorrow you're fine. Wow. So she goes, you're good. She did say this is interesting Maybe you'll agree with this she goes It's not like this curse has completely stopped you

But you're not as far along as you should be You're a little bit behind and that's the it's the curse It's like it's like where they used to grab Curry's jersey Early on before we got the calls and it's like it just made him a little bit slower Yeah I was like yeah I thought that sometimes Now in Nicaragwa they say yeah why don't you have more followers But in Peru, they're like, we know why.

What the hell? What happened? Like, either your curse in... I checked in with her. The guinea pig got it. I checked in with her. It wasn't like, you got to come back in. She goes, you're good now.

She wasn't, she didn't continue to upsell me. And you spent a total of what, like 10 bucks? No, probably 40 or 50. I mean, the kui itself, if you eat a kui, it's like $30. Right. It's not a nothing thing. But they didn't prepare it. But like...

But you went through a couple. We'll do a couple. Yeah, and you can't eat them. So the second... Okay, so the second one, she takes a razor blade. Oh, my God. She takes a razor blade. She, like, pinches the skin, kind of like this, you know?

And she cuts, not the flesh, just the skin. Yeah. Culls it apart. And so she's exposing the flesh. Of you? Of the coi. Oh. And then this thing goes...

Like that. Just pops out of it. Just goes on its own of whatever. This wall is still alive or after... Dead. Oh. Okay, not the dick, I know what you're thinking, just in the middle of its belly. She goes, it's there.

That's the curse trying to get out now. And I'm like, what do you do with the cootie? And she goes, no garbage. It's just nothing. It's done. It's not like, we don't have to bury or anything. I love it. What do you mean? No, it wasn't a magic trick. Probably, but I don't know.

But like you've seen magic before. Did it feel like that were, was there little part of like, I was looking for holes in the games. What? Markleaves and demons. I believe this. So do you. for a whole thing.

The whole time. I'm like, did the first one. The first one didn't even see me. I was long away. Why not upsell the girls? You're going to upsell a guy who's not, maybe even here? Did you communicate it to the girls?

Like, did you guys have that conversation? They told me, but it wasn't near the other brouha. No, no, I'm saying at any point in time, did you have this conversation where the girl goes, yeah, she told me I was somebody who's cursed, and then you go, I was just told I have a curse. They told me that first. I was like, that's crazy.

And then I went to another one far away. Got it. Wow. What was your question? I deal with witches. Yeah. Good lead. Fuck.

This is crazy. This is crazy. It's so much more fun to believe it. It's so much more fun. It's more fun to believe it. Like a great storyteller. That really happens. Stop asking the dumb shit.

Yeah. We're having a good time. Yeah. It doesn't matter. We're not basing our lives up. Now Mark is going to be. Yeah, I know. But how?

But how? But how? Go to the witch market. But I'm telling you, there was no cab driver that would let me off more than directly at an entrance to the witch

to the market itself. You gotta get in there. Moses goes to Ramses and then, you know, they have their sorcerers that make the staff into a snake. Yeah.

That was real magic, just different magic. But the people were like, oh, they were doing like a magic trip or like they had a snake that they were able to like hypnotize to be stiff

and then they turn to turn into snake. All right, maybe. I don't know. I know there's more to the world than I know. Do you feel uncursed? Five. I don't know.

But I'll tell you, something I was never quite able to accomplish is getting my storyteller going again since I had the curse, I think. And now? Yeah. April 18. April 16th. April 16th.

But you lose that presale money if you don't get it after the 15th. Yeah, and if you don't get it, you might be cursed. Yeah, but dude, I had a blast. Do you have the charms on you? Yeah, they're my other parents. I don't not take them around a year. Can we see what they look like?

They're just little things. She puts stuff on them. Yeah, I can go get them. Yeah, can you get them real? What do we got with cows? What are we doing with cows right now? Yeah, we got the World Cup. I mean, France is going to take it.

You already know. This is the only sporting event I care about. It's the only thing that actually gets me. Wait, but do they still got the player that fucks the training? Okay, that's not. If he's on the team, you guys got it. It sounds like you're saying in the libelous or slanderous way. No, no, no, no.

I fuck with that guy. That's my favorite play. Not because, yeah, Mbba. Mbba. Yeah, Umba. Yeah, Umba was good. What do we got? Oh, they're saying

Spain is the best chance of winning? Yes. The fuck I'm talking about. Why I got so excited? Who's your fair player? What's your fair spin for? The guy who got herpes. Who's that?

I don't know. He's like, I forgot his name. You only know the crazy stories. You're actually gay. You're a gay guy. That's a little bit of a non-sup feeling. Or he's like, I drink alcohol a thing. You're like, dude,

a dick was on it. That's awesome. Or gross. What did I say? Why my nails painted? Cut it out. He took that bag. The guy said he had 11 bags and his dick.

Bro, you just need to bounce on it one time. Get it over it. Get it over it. Stop it. You decide how far it is. It goes. Stop. You're touching your dick right now while you're sitting there.

You never take a big shit and think, man, a dick could fit in there. No. You never did that? Nope. Same. No. You ever taking a big shit and feels good?

Nope. Nope. Nope. Spain. That's right Spain, that's what you're feeling when you get dick It doesn't make sense

But it's funny I like it A little pain It says Spain All right You get one of something 15 18%

They got it Who do you think wins the World Cup Um I Who's I don't know Who do you want to win rather I'd love Ecuador to win

But My boys David's got excited for that. He's from Ecuador? Yeah. His family's from Quito. Oh, yeah, that's right. We talked about it. Yeah. He's, he's eating Gini-Pi-Pi-Pi. What's the U.S. chances?

For sure. Everyone's pretty good, right? Yeah, we got that. That's so good. Yeah, the girls he takes down. We got her. So good. All right. Let me see the charms. You has taken it. Three percent. That's where the money is, gang. Can you touch the charms or is that bad?

You can touch them. They're just, like, regular little trinkets and she put, like... Show you want to do that. Shout out of him to lose. Yeah. You won't walk under a letter. I believe in demons. Like, what's over? Like, that is so bullshit.

He gives me sure of believing in demons. He won't walk under a ladder. It's marginal benefit. I mean, this looks like, yeah. I don't know. Can you put it on his lap real first? No, no, no, no. Don't do it.

It's not real. It's not real, right? Yeah, she's good. It's not real. It's a good luck. No, he's a good luck. I believe it. Yeah.

They're good luck. No. You got that from a kind of surprise. It's not real. Wow. Yeah. It's fast. On their own, they're not.

I don't think there anything. I think she put, shout out Analuze. Anna Luce. Yeah, go see her. Or her sister, Aneluz too. This is dope. That's how they named them. Yeah, they're both.

They're both. Like Dr. Seuss vibes? Like, being one? That's fire. Come on. Get it. Feel it. Yeah, I carry them around with me.

I don't know. This is a car, right? It looks like, yeah. This is Virgin Mary. Just some stature, maybe. And then this is a snake. Wow. Here you go, Mark.

Charms, trick it. Yo, yo, just. Don't take the bad luck. You're not going to touch a lot. I guess if you can step in a curse, That's it. You're stepping a blessing right now, man. Steffing a blessing. It's how it's like a country song. I mean, all right.

Yeah. I mean, okay. There's a snake, bro. That's not good. No, snakes are good. Snakes are good. Owls are always bad. Owls are always bad. You know about Adam, Eve? Yeah?

No, but the snake, remember? They don't listen to it. No, but Eve did and then it destroyed humanity. Oh, fair. I hear what you're saying. Yep. Well, you're fuck now. No. No. Yeah.

Don't. And then what is this he was supposed to be? Yeah, you were the last to touch it. You got it. Wasn't there another way of interpreting the snake? I mean, Gnosticism was saying the snake was actually the good guy. Yes. And there was actually the demiurge that created Adam and Eve and put him into this prison.

Oh, weird. Nah, I don't like that. Demigorgon? It was the Demigorgian. Oh, this damn demigorgian. But I'll tell you, I'll tell you something that was like really cool. This is all, oh, I meant to be funny on this, but. So that kind of story, if I had to do it for a story-th of the show,

I'm like, I got to work some jokes into that. Don't change the reality. It already has the jokes in, though. Yeah, some jokes in to make it funny wallets. So it's not just like, can you believe it? Can you believe it? But also, like, she looked like a cross between clean this wood and, you know, Martin Thatcher, you know, stuff like that.

But here's something I realized when I got back is that I wasn't expecting. So I was gone for longer than I've ever been gone. I had and continued to have a legitimate joy. in seeing my friends again. Like saying how to you are still editing and then when I'm saying, I'm like, it just like fills you up. It's like, how have you been? I missed you.

Yeah. Not even how you've been. It's like, let me just look at you for a second. I don't know. Let me just take you in. Yeah. It's the best. Yeah.

Brazil got to you, bro. Brazil must have got to me. Let me just. It is the best. Chile was great. So I saw this, um, um, Oasis in South Paulo. Oh, you got to see Oasis.

I meant to ask you about that. I missed him here and I'm like, fuck, I'm like, oh, South America. I'm like, well, I got to go. Which is the better place to see him. I heard more than America. Why? Why? Why?

Why? It's up there. I mean, from what I understand is like, they're the biggest in England. Yeah. England and Ireland. Over there. The UK. And then there's second biggest in Argentina.

Specifically, like, South America, they have this vivacious, like, an admiration for Oasis. It was all xylophone music until you get to Chile. and then it became rock and roll again. Interesting. Which was pretty interesting. But they must have gone crazy. One crazy. So I heard every word in Ireland,

Manchester, London, whatever, every word by R, they grew up knowing them. And then in America, everyone knows half the words. Eager went to like a couple. And it goes, yeah, Chicago, it just wasn't as cool a crowd. Yeah, they know two songs. Yeah.

And then back to Australia, they know like three quarters or whatever. And then in South America, they just knew every word. I mean, these are like 25-year-old. even alive when they were. That's crazy. So fun. Everyone throwing piss in the air. That's why they were the bucket heads. The piss keeps going up in the air.

That's why they start with the bucket hats on the ground. That's fine. The floor. I like, I like being on the floor, but I don't need to. I don't need to be that. So they're peeing into their own cups? Yeah, you can't leave. And then, like, at some point during bass drop. Yeah.

You can see videos of their concerts and just see this fly. Yeah, exactly. Where it's like, oh, they look they're having fun, but it's like, oh, what the fuck? Yeah. And then during cigarettes and alcohol, they all face away. That was so fun. Wait, what did they turn? The ports guys?

The port. He goes, they know how to do this at soccer game or football games in Ireland. Let's see if you know what the fuck you're doing. Yeah. And we all turn. It's so fucking fun. And what's the story of mind? I forget what it's from.

It's from some soccer tradition. I think it's like Eastern European that it kind of like co-opted into. Yeah, they started doing a soccer game. Manchester City. Yeah. Face away. And then when they hit it, everyone turns around. It's like disrespectful.

back or something. The University of Maryland during basketball, I guess, we used to, when they introduced their team, we'd read the newspaper. Like, disinterested, and then when they were done, we'd chug it. You went to Maryland? Yeah. How old are you again? 170. They didn't know that. They actually cured me, dude.

He's not cursed. He's actually Jewish. No, my boy went to Maryland. I wonder if you guys went to school. He's 46, I think. Probably, because I took a couple years off, so probably overlapped. Get out. You know, just so we can make more... 25,000 person's school. But you're... Oh, I see where you see.

It might. Because you're religious at this time? Yeah. I was just losing it there. But he wasn't very religious. Yeah. I don't know. You rekindle it, though.

I spoke a lot of weeds. Fair enough. Also, by the way, when I'm gone, I could not... I could picture people, and I'm like, I don't have their name in me anymore. I'm like, these are friends,

and I'm like, I can't call up their names. I just wasn't thinking about them. I'm like... That might be good. I'm like, we're not supposed to know so many people. So, that's fine. Anyone I met when it came up that I was a stand-up comic, if they didn't recognize me.

First of all, they were like, that's the coolest I've ever heard of. That's so cool. What you're like, yeah, right? They would go, the hostile backpackers were like, do you know Shane Gillis? It was like pretty much only I know one, or do you know a local one or do you know Shane Gillis?

Except anyone from Brazil. Do you know Huffy Bostos? And I'm like I do. He told me about this restaurant. He told me about this place. I love it. He is their king. I got told in Bolivia, in the Uni South Flats, this Brazilian guy told me, he goes, oh, you're a comedian.

He goes, do you know, hafi Bastos? They don't call him Rafi. And I was like, yeah, no, I mean, I know him. He gave me a list of stuff to do in Sao Paulo. And he goes, oh, my God. He was like, well, and he told me this joke that he got in trouble for and got driven out of Brazil for. And this guy's telling me this joke. And I just start dying, laughing.

And he goes, no. It's a bad thing. He went over the line. I'm like, oh, I'm sorry. My natural reaction was that was legitimately funny. I'm sorry, I didn't know about the backstory. He goes, yeah, you're supposed to hate it. I'm like, I didn't hate it.

Even you telling me. He's not in a comic. It's a good job. It's a good job. Yeah, he is the, and everywhere, like, you know, Hoffie Bossosos? I'm like, yes. Yeah, I went to a restaurant.

He told me about it. There was like a little high end and they were like sold out Saturday. And I was like, oh, okay. My friend, Hoffie Bossos told me to go. They're like, 730. No way. Damn. Motion.

Hoffie, you still got motion in the homeland. I mean, he's doing like big, like arena. He's their king. Yeah.

He was like their first guy for like SNL Brazil or something, I think. Really? Like they did SNL Brazil and like he hosted it

like he was like featured on it a bunch of times. Wow. He's massive over there. Massive. Yeah. And you wouldn't even know if he talked to him

because he's so down earth. Loki, I'm glad you got pushed out of there because now we get him. Yeah. You know what I mean? Oh, dude. Yeah, the whole thing was really cool.

Just looking over the map now. I got a camper van drove through Patagonia for three weeks. Pretty sick, huh? Yeah, just wild camping, just pull over in a canyon or by a river or something. Just the most gorgeous. Just the most gorgeous. I got a picture for you, me with this dog and this like steer skull in the middle of the middle of the back drop. I got to send it to you.

Did you ever want to go home? Yeah, a couple times. Miss my dog. I mean, I'm over this. Yeah. And what did you do? those moments? I got real weird around street dogs the whole trip.

Oh, because you missed your dog? Yeah, I got real weird. I got into it. I'd say leftovers first, and then eventually I'm like, and these are wet in my pocket. I don't want to do that, so I'd just buy treats. And I'd be like, what's up, buddy? What's up?

They'd be laying out there, you know, they're everywhere. How you doing, you good boy? And then let's say you're like, growl. I'm like, you're getting a treat. And they'd be like, what the fuck? They'd be sleeping and you put one by them, and they go, this is a high-end treat

they didn't even like trash like I'm used to they're like what yeah I told you that whatever the dog out there I learned some new fucking pet techniques out there like this oh rubbing that

right in there you put your legs together they get their head in there and then you go like that and they really like being like the autistic boys you know they get all set and you go like that

you don't know you didn't grow up with dogs did you no Oh, that's awesome. You gotta make up for it now. Oh, yeah. Oh, that's sweet. Saved a couple. Saved them, meaning...

Found one in El Salvador, in this, like, food festival town. Oh. And it was like... I mean, they're all cute. They're all fun and cute. And if they're not friendly, they don't survive. You know, they won't... Please won't allow dangerous dogs out.

Half of them are just in someone's house, and they should open the door in the morning to come back for doing. Yeah. And the other half are just street dogs, which I got sad about. And then I'm like, no, you guys are outlaws living your life. Doing whatever you want. Yeah.

You're kind of a street dog, you know what I mean? You're traveling around? Exactly. Yes. Yes. You're living in a car? Not so different. Yeah, and I saw this purple fucking shit on his head.

And I was like, that's cute to somebody. And then it was just a hole to a skull. Oh, my God. So. Santo Taco. Santo. Heard it. The transition is fine.

No, no. We're not done with that story. Can you try to transition, but? No, we're not done with that story. They just heard you were here, and they heard you were just in South America, and they No, they did not. I didn't ask for it. What do you mean?

They just heard you were here, and they heard you came back from South America, and they wanted to give you some. They know us. Oh, really? This is one of the best talking places in Soho. I'm not doing a bit, or a promo. I swear to God, I didn't ask for them. And not only that, they've never done it for us.

I know. I'm like, what? You got some. You got some. The whole is very new. You're Mexican American comedian Ari Shafier. But continue with the story about the dog. Mexico, by the way,

number one. So, like, listen, America does a lot of great shit. Wow. Oh, we got a wrap the pie. We got to rushes us on movie theater concessions. What do you mean?

What do they got? Split popcorn, and the flavors are Dorito-flavored popcorn with Dorito flavor plus Dorito crumples in the popcorn. Why don't we have that?

They do the same with Cheetos. Hmm. This is. Yeah, we need that. Wow. We got a good move. Can you wrap so we can eat? Yeah, let's get a wrap.

What? You seem like a person who... Let me get a little... Were there any, like, people from... How did you do the research? Were you on YouTube watching, like, other people do travels? No. Oh, no.

Look at pictures is the wrong way to go. Tip three. Go. Don't look at pictures. Find your own way. The pictures are washed. They are, hey, get out of my shot so it seems like alone. The reality is different, and if you're expecting something amazing,

it's not going to live up to that. So there was a hot spree. in Patagonia that I didn't know about and I just like I was like I'll go to this hot springs and there was like crazy on this like sound and you could do the hot spring like carved out once and then you could jump into the sound to like freezing water then back in but it was like cloudy but I didn't know what to expect so you have these beautiful mountains behind but a little cloudy I thought the pictures were in disappointment without the pictures I'm like I didn't know anything about this thing right and it was like this is awesome anyway tip three don't look at pictures But yeah, I go wrecks over blogs. Blogs, that means everybody's doing it. Yeah, you've got to go direct to the people. Get a recommendation. A real person that's there around now.

It's like, I went to this one thing, it was really sick. Anything you refuse to do? Yeah, I don't know. Like, this never ends up working out. It's always a bad idea. It's not worth it. I don't think so. I mean, if everyone's going to like a nightclub,

it's not my seeing, guys. Yeah, you don't need a party. I got a big hike tomorrow. I'm not going to do that. Daytime. Yeah. But no, really. Went watching the prostitutes in Medellin.

It was like a prostitute park. Oh, that's fire. Just buy crushed cigarettes, Lucy's into smoke and watch them. It was a lot of fun, actually. It was a lot of fun. Guys, Barisheafir. Yeah. Guys, this was fucking fun.

It was nice to see you guys. It's great to see you, dude. Make sure you go check it out. Go buy it right now. Ari Shapir.com or theend. com. YMH Studios.com. Yeah, straight to that.

And just fucking indulge in masterful performance, art, stand-up comedy, storytelling. You will love it. I promise you. If you have a favorite, or if you, probably a lot, reach out to them on Instagram.

After you see their stories and say, I loved your fucking story. Comics are vain, and that's actually the number one compliment we like. I saw your comedy and I liked it. Let them know you had a good time. That's a great, yeah. Yeah, watch it with free.

friends. It comes out right before 420. Watch them on 420. Seven episodes. You're not getting through it in one day. No. What's the weekend? It's the weekend. Love you guys. Peace. Peace.