Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh - Bestiality Is Natural

Episode Date: February 14, 2020

This week Andrew, Akaash, and Alexx discuss: Parasite, D Wade and his child, All Star Weekend, XFL, Harry Potter, Andrew's time in Phoenix, They answer Patreon questions and each give their Flagrant Thought of the Week, and much more. INDULGE! Want a new episode every week? Become a Patron! www.Patreon.com/FLAGRANT2

What's up everybody welcome to flagrant 2 this is a patreon episode you already know the fuck it is okay we back in new york back in the studio okay flagrant thought of the week we got to start out yeah um i had this thought we've been slipping on flagrant thought no more oh no now no more it's coming back 100 we got to start it off we start everything off with the flagrancy um i think that humans are the only animal that isn't down with bestiality and i i think that because like we look at bestiality we're like how could you like that's the most repulsive thing that's the worst thing ever right it's like bestiality you know how like, how could you? Like, that's the most repulsive thing. That's the worst thing ever. Right? It's like bestiality, being gay. You know how wild it would be to an animal?

I'm joking about the being gay thing. I was hoping somebody would listen, but if I didn't address that, everybody. Well, because I was about to say something wild, too. We're only in Atlanta for a weekend, guys. Listen, if animals saw us, do you know how shocked they would be that we asked for consent? Oh, yeah. Was that your flagrant? No, no, no, no.

Oh, yeah. Like, bestiality is like, that's the beginning. Like, bro, y'all asking? Consent is something that only exists in the human kingdom. Like, the animal kingdom is like, you eat what's there. They don't consent to eating. Bro. Like, you ever seen an alligator eat the don't consent to eating. Bruh.

You ever seen an alligator eat the dog when the dog's barking at the alligator? And the alligator's like, that's cute. And then just fucking chomps him up, drags him back in. Yo, the animal kingdom looking at us like, y'all the human queendom. Real talk. We're queendom, dog. Y'all some bitches out here, yo. We're queendom, bro. No respect.

Anyway, so I was thinking about this bestiality shit. The dog will hump your leg, right? Oh, yeah. Now, here's the thing where it's coming down to. Maybe they don't know that we're not a dog. So maybe bestiality is an intent thing. Animals aren't

smart enough to know they're not fucking one of their kind. You gotta know, right? Like, you see a big, a tall-ass dog walking on two legs? Yeah. That can't be a dog. That's gotta be something else. But do they know

it's something else? Like, do you think a shark knows that a dolphin isn't a shark? Yeah, I think so. Yes. What about a fish? Yes.

What about a big grouper? You know how they have those giant groupers that look like a shark? You think a grouper doesn't know that it's not a shark? I don't know how fish have sex, toers that look like a shark? You think a grouper doesn't know that it's not a shark? I don't know how fish have sex, to be honest with you.

Like, is there penetration involved, or is it more of like a fertilization process? That's a good question, yo. I thought they just shoot off into the sky, and then the eggs... Well, they definitely don't do it in the sky. No, I mean in the water, you know what I mean? Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then the eggs shoot off into the water, and then... And then they might be...

They just gagged on it. They jerk off in the water, and then somebody slips on it they slip on it okay um so then maybe it's an intent thing yeah so i started to think about this intent thing with bc alley when we fuck animals we're not going oh you're an animal right there's no like somebody sees you fucking horse you're like is that a horse and then you find out it's a horse right yeah we're going i want to fuck that horse i want to fuck like some girls let snakes crawl in their pussy have you seen this before oh no nope you guys haven't seen this on porno nope no that's the thing girls will let snakes go in their pussy oh my god yeah i was wondering how you got on this bc alley thing to begin with well no that's

probably how that wasn wasn't it. I was at my girl's place. I was fucking her dog, and I was like, I'm doing this on purpose. I'm not making a mistake, right? It's a tiny little dog. You use it like a flashlight, bro. You just grab it, and then you just...

Dogs like that should get fucked. Bro, happy. I've been looking at happy sometimes. Happy's a perfect example. Yo, you asking for it. What type of dog is it? Maltipoo. Maltipoo.

Maltipoo. Dude, when you were going to say Maltese, I was about to be like, gay. And then you added poodle. Yeah. You got to lean in, yo. Maltipoo? Maltipoo. You got to lean in.

Maltipoo sounds like a kid you adopt for five cents a day. You know what I mean? Maltipoo. Maltipoo, yo. Maltipoo be writing you letters and shit. I love Maltipoo. I love this kid. You're like, yo, where you get all this loose leaf Multipoo. Multipoo would be writing you letters and shit. I love Multipoo. I love this kid. You're like,

yo, where you get all this loose leaf, Multipoo? Son, we be cuddling. I love this little dog. Anyway, fleshlight.

Yeah. Problem is you can knock out some of his teeth. It's a little bit, because they have weak teeth. Does your Multipoo have weak teeth? I'm sure. They have weak teeth. I'm sure.

Anyway, I wasn't fucking my, my girl's dog. Just to clarify for any of you fucking animals out there. But, I did start. Anyway, I wasn't fucking my girl's dog, just to clarify for any of you fucking animals out there. But I did start to think we make the decision to fuck the dog. Yeah. Intent based. So I start to go, oh, is everything based on intent?

If you are intending to do something, does that make it the thing? Right. Interesting. And I go, this is the second part of the flagrant thought. How long can you touch your boy's dick before it becomes gay? I think that's an intent-based thing. That's what I thought, and then I pulled back. So if I slap your dick with the outside of my fingers right not the with the wet

not the um pads of the fingers where the you have a fingerprint yeah with the nail part right not gay is that how you got those cuts in your hands it's a big old dick dog no it's kickboxing and i'm now i a badass. But if I slap the dick, right? Not gay. Right? Tap, tap, not gay. Nobody goes, Is your intent to fuck with the person and maybe hurt them?

Or is it, I just want to feel his dick real quick. Either way, you don't know. I could literally go- Who are you asking not gay? Because if you're asking a white guy, no. You're asking no you actually a black guy yes yeah but like if I go ah you're gonna go that's why guys are crazy no I'm a punch you with your fucking gut you know why people know white people enough where I could tap it you're

asking no no gay it's not gay if you're axing if it's gay it's gay now but you know that's white boy fun. You've been around white boys. Yeah, white boys with white boys. You've never slapped my dick. Stop it, stop it, stop it. I could slap your dick and it's not a fight. No, you can't.

No, you can't. I'll slap your dick right now. No, you won't. If there wasn't a desk right there, I would go and slap your dick with the back of my fingers. And you would see how not gay it is. It could reach past his desk right now. You'd like it. It could reach back.

So get the fuck out of here, son. Give me that fucking dick. Give me that fucking dick. You got to like it. He could reach back. He's like, get the fuck out of here, son. Give me that fucking dick. The point is, you could slap a dick. It's okay. Now, I think it's a timing issue. It's not intent. Now, if I went like this to your dick, right? I pressed it like you're trying to get in the old iPhone.

Remember? Okay. Right? Remember that Okay. Right? Remember that one, right? If I went like that? If I just went boop, like if I just tapped the top of it? I still think it could be gay. Not gay.

This motion is a little gay, but if I just – or even better, and this is intent. If I just went like this and I was just like I'm in front of you. You're behind me. Ball tap, dick tap, pads of the fingers, not gay. But if I went in there and I iPhone opened it, gay. Even if it's for a joke. There's a point at which timing overrides intent.

Overrides intent. And that's if it's long enough. There's a point at which it's enough time, no matter what your intent was, it's gay. It's gay. It's gay! Or, or... It might not even be time because Bobby Lee on Twitter, I saw him kiss a dude's nut. That's what started this conversation. And that shit is gay

even though it was a quick smooch. Okay. Gay, yo. Bobby Lee... That's crossed a line. ...kissed Chito Santino, Andrew Santino. Yeah. Kissed his dick. They're doing a podcast together. But, no, no. So, Santino brings out his dick. They're doing a podcast together. But no, no. So Santino brings out his dick. Looks like he has a fucking root on him too.

Did you see it? No, I thought. I didn't zoom in. I thought it was a nut. I thought he like took a nut out and like. That's how bulbous it was. Looked like a hook nose Shylock was in his pants, dog. Dude, he takes it in the underwear.

He just pulls out the bulge. And then Bobby Lee does this. He kisses it, but how you kiss someone when you meet them in Europe. He doesn't go straight on to the lips. He goes... He gives a little,

hey, this is my friend, Sophia. Oh, nice to meet you, Sophia. If you rub a man's dick on your face like it's cashmere, like, that's gay, yo. I just want to stroke it against my cheek. That's why they always got coronavirus. Stop fucking kissing shit you don't need to kiss. Bobby Reed. Come on, Bobby Reed. on Bobby Reed

Bro You think it's actually called Coronavirus Coronavirus You think it's actually called Coronavirus It's called Coronavirus How they named it some shit

They can't even say That don't make no fucking sense bro Dude How unfortunate is Shane Geras That That he didn't have his shit Come out now. Because if what he said came out during the coronavirus, you know a lot of people would be like, fuck them in, they nudists.

You can't be out here killing us all. I ain't eating anyone neuter until this coronavirus is taken care of. Son. Anyway, a timing intent thing. Yeah. I'm starting to think timing is everything. You're doing flirty shit with a girl. She gets uncomfortable. You stop. I think it's thing. Yeah. I'm starting to think timing is everything. You're doing flirty shit with a girl. She gets uncomfortable.

You stop. I think it's okay. Yeah. You keep on going past. That's a problem. Timing is important. That's a good point. Timing is important.

That's huge. Timing overrides intent. Timing is paramount. That's the word. It's the most important. Is that what paramount means? Yeah, it's the most important. Paramount means that. Paramount, yeah, yeah.

I thought that's when you fuck like a crippled girl. Paramount is like the top. Oh. So paramount importance. I thought it was like paraplegic and you mount. Do you know what I mean? You paramount one of these bitches. No, that's called boring. For both of you.

She's like, are you in? Who the fuck would want that, yo? Bro, no, that's the ultimate dick. Like, she's paralyzed from waist down, but it goes so far she feels it. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. You're right. You're right. Anybody want to take that test?

That's a hell of a litmus test. You got to do Santino. Bring that big old fucking dick to the special Olympics and give these girls feeling again. Give them something special. Imagine you go so deep it goes to the feeling. They feel nothing on lips, labia, clitoris.

In here. Are people paralyzed from the waist down? Do they have more feeling from the waist up than a normal person? The same way you you you're deaf so you see better you know i mean like you mean like how retards are kinder and stronger because they don't like they can't do calculus but they make up for calculus by just by being so fucking kind and strong. I don't know how to do the math to build that house,

but I'll just mash this wood together until that shit is built, babe. If you move it, I can just lift your fucking house off its foundation. Take it where you want it to go. You ever see a house being moved and you're like, man, four retards just lifted that shit up off the wall. We need a retard powerlifting competition. Son! Oh, that would be amazing.

How is that not in the Special Olympics? Yo! Bro! That would be amazing. Or just a retard handshake competition, right? So you just get non-tards, right? You have non-tards and tards. And then the non-tards just go, no, no, nice to meet you.

Right? And then they shake your hand. And then you judge afterwards by the imprint left in your hand. Bro, it might be the first time when somebody pretends to eat the metal that they actually eat the metal. You know what I mean? Fight it. It's like, where's the chocolate yo what's up this is akash that was a preview of our patreon episode if you want the full thing go to www.patreon.com slash flagrant to join the illest community on earth unless you're a social

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