Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh - Bezos Or Gates: Whose Ex Is Hotter? ft Jared Freid

Episode Date: May 7, 2021

This week for Flagrant 2's exclusive Patreon clip, Andrew, Akaash, AlexxMedia, Mark and Dov debate who has the hotter ex, Bezos or Gates??

What up people, Shultz here and you guys are about to listen to a clip from our weekly Patreon episode. If you want to sign up to our Patreon, support the flagrancy, support what we are doing, completely uncensored, flagrant content, you go to patreon.com slash flagrant2. With no more interruptions, here is the exclusive clip. All right, let's do some questione. Dr. Umar. That's our boy, bro. Dr. Umar. That's our boy.

Yo, what's going on, fellas? Tunji Taylor Lewis here. All right, so here's the scenario. You got Bill Gates' ex-wife over here. You got Jeff Bezos' ex-wife over here. They've both come up to you at the same time and said, hey, boy, you kind of cute you want to get a feel of these heavies which one are you going for uh who am i going for melinda or

jeff bezos's wife i think it's got to be bezos's wife she's a little bit younger yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah bezos as well i mean that picture i'm looking at it and also i mean yeah not even close yeah yeah i'm looking It's Bezos as well. I mean, that picture, I'm looking at it. And also... I mean, yeah, not even close. Yeah. Yeah, I'm looking at it side by side, not even close. Yeah. Yeah, but Bezos' wife is giving it all away. We don't know what...

Yeah, but that's before you get in there, bro. I just need a bill, bro. Doesn't mean she's not going to have a nice hotel room. Yeah, she got $30 billion. She gave away $29. She's a fucking hero, and she still got a billion. Yeah, she could give you a whole billion dollars, Al. Okay, yeah. Well, also, she's a fucking hero, and she's still got a billion. Yeah, she could give you a whole billion dollars, Al. Okay, yeah.

Well, also, she's not the... Also, the tech world... Oh, wow. Yeah, he was winning in that relationship. I'm sorry, she... Yeah, he was winning that relationship earlier. He was cuter. Well, he got better looking over time.

He really did. That's what money and being a man does. Yeah. Yeah, so, yeah, Tunji, you're right, bro. Actually, you didn't say one or the other. You just asked a question. But it is unanimous. We're going after Amazon.

Without a doubt, homie. Amazon it is. And then you could say stuff like, I'm going to get you this package. Like you can fuck with Bezos during the fuck. Oh my God. If they did old bitch bachelorettes,

should it be Melinda Gates? That's the whole... It should be Bill Gates. Say what? It should be Bill Gates. Say what? It should be Bill Gates, dude. Yeah, why would I think Melinda? Dude, old bachelor Bill Gates. Yes.

They should Bachelor and Bachelorette. Let's go. Joint. Fuck her. I hate her. Why do I like Bezos' ex-wife but hate her? I don't really hate her. I don't even know.

I know nothing about her. I don't like her. I don't hate her. Why do you hate her? That's weird. This is actually a Gerard Carmichael thing where he was like uh the bill and melinda gates foundation oh that's funny that's it's the bill yeah and that's what's stuck in my head like bitch what yeah they do that with nfl teams too and i go they they'll be like and it's owned by

you know mr and mrs blankety blank jewish name yeah i was also watching a shout savannah i was watching a clip from his podcast where him and his co-host were saying how much did she get in the divorce settlement and the girl rachel was saying she deserves at least three billion dollars and i was like no no just don't say he does she does she deserves at least $3 billion. And I was like, no. Just don't say she does. She does. She does.

She does. For what? $3 billion? For what? All she does is give his money away. That's your whole job, bitch. You give my money away? Well, he's going to help her give some more away. Yeah, not to you.

She's going to help him. You better McKenzie that shit, give it to charity. McKenzie knew she was charity, and that's what I respected. She's giving away all her money because she knew she was charity to begin with. This whole divorce settlement is charity. I'm going to give it away. I would think, what if, it would be kind of a funny thing if he was like,

yeah, just got me involved in all this giving away my money. Like if that was the reason they got, like if he was just turned into asshole Bill Gates, he's like, I don't know, these charities are getting fucking expensive. You think I wanted to give you vaccines? That was the reason they ended? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't care about malaria charities are getting fucking expensive. You think I wanted to give you vaccines? That was the reason they ended? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I don't care about malaria. I'm from D.C. We don't have malaria there. What if the whole split in their relationship was, he's like, everyone thinks I'm trying to put chips in brains. You got me into this vaccine bullshit. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And now I'm the fucking evil guy.

I just wanted to make computers. I wanted to make billions of dollars making computers. Now this bitch got me fixed in the world and everybody hates me. Dude. And I'm not even the richest person in the world anymore. He's not the richest person in the world anymore. I'm not even in top two. Wow, dude.

It's really Melinda's fault. I hate her, dog. I hate her. Whoa. I fucking hate this bitch. Gates was our fun, nerdy billionaire. I bet you Gates was like, we should make a user-friendly computer. And she was like, fuck that.

Windows is the shit. And then Apple comes around and is like, this bitch is killing me. She's like, I want to wear turtlenecks more often. She's like, that's stupid. Dude, the only reason Steve Jobs exists is because of Melinda fucking Gates. She's like, we should make a computer that gets you all the viruses if you look at porn. Nobody

likes porn. Nobody wants porn. Dude. This is bogey. Nobody wants porn. Dude. This is absolutely crazy. I saw Bill and Melinda Gates once. I was in Vegas, and Melinda Gates was playing $3 Chinese poker. Really? And Bill was just standing behind her.

Wow. Swear to God. Yeah, swear to God in my life. Swear to God in my life. No big hoopla or anything like that. No security, nothing. They're inside. I believe it was the win.

Chinese poker. I can't believe that they wouldn't be at a private, even if you're playing for $3, someone like that should be in the private section. That's actually a mistake. I bet he wanted to be there. I bet she's like, no, we gotta be amongst the people. Let's pay $3. That pisses me off if he

wants to be there. She is Seattle. She's Seattle woman. I bet she's from Seattle. I told you all white people look alike that was no way that was bill gates bill gates melinda gates literally i went up to him there's no you said hey bill i said hey bill he goes hey how you doing i did was he tall no not tall no i don't remember him being strikingly tall but i was like i was like hey bill how you doing i don't use none of his shit so i wasn't about to be like yo you got it i use none of his shit, so I wasn't about to be like, yo, you got it. I use none of your shit. How tall would you say he is?

Taller than his wife. All right. She was sitting down. Who plays poker standing? No, they were playing standing. Oh, they play standing poker. Isn't it funny that it kind of matters that we all know how tall he is? Like, I feel like I just.

Oh, no, I'm just trying to call him out. They're trying to call him out. Yeah, maybe he's tall. I don't remember him being tall but i swear to god in my life it was him chinese poker table you swear to god on your life you said hey bill i said hey believe in god swear to god in my life that doesn't mean anything i do believe in god i just know he won't break for us to god he won't break for us to god i i i have to push back on hi bill i don't know if it was that but in some way i acknowledged him it wasn't maybe it was like it was like uh what's up gates or something like that you like one of those it could have been a year above or below six foot he's probably over six feet but i don't remember her being tall

i used to see al roger i don't remember him being tall how tall is he i don't remember him being tall five six no he's not". He's not 5'6". He's not 5'6". 5'6 doesn't become a billionaire. Yeah. Actually, he might be the richest man ever. If he's 5'6", that's like some

Napoleon shit. Oh, it goes one or the other. Why do you think I'm buying so much Bitcoin? Jeff Bezos is an orphan. How tall is Jeff Bezos? But he's an orphan. So it doesn't matter

how tall. You need a chip. Bill Gates is right. You need a chip. You remind me, I used to see Al Roker on the Upper East Side all the time. Yeah, fat or skinny? In between. And I used to always go,

Roke Dog! How'd that go over? How'd that go over? Every time I saw him. Because you reminded me, like, hey Bill, and him just saying hi. I didn't know what to say. I don't know anything about his shit. Roke Dog! And every time. I used to see him all the time because he lives on the upper left side.

And then every time he'd go, yo! That's great. And I was like, that's how I was a good dude. I was once hosting something for MTV2 and Jason Derulo was on it, right?

And I'm standing next to Jason Derulo on live TV and I just went like this. I was like, Jason Derulo. You have to do it. I did it and he looks at me and goes,

that was odd. On live TV. On live TV. On live TV. Wait a minute. Someone find that clip, please. It was unbelievable. I was like, I'm here with Jason Derulo. Hold on.

That makes me not like him. Why would you set me up with your shit? Who doesn't do that to him bro when you said i saw jason derulo in my head i went yeah i wanted yeah that's like dj collin not knowing like that that's gonna be yelled at him yeah yeah yeah you the best you the best we make the best music whatever they find i bet calvin would handle it wonderfully yeah like yes sir thank you bless us all right guys we're gonna take a break from this exclusive patreon clip because uh you need to get tobacco out of your life and if you have a loved one that has tobacco in life you need to get that shit out and i'll tell you exactly how you're

gonna do it you're gonna do it with lucy all right lucy nicotine is a company founded by caltech scientists and former smokers looking for a better and cleaner nicotine alternative finally tobacco alternatives that are not horrible. These are absolutely amazing, okay? It's researched and developed for over three years to be made for people, not patients, okay? They've created a nicotine gum with four milligrams of nicotine

that comes in three flavors, wintergreen, cinnamon, and pomegranate. They also have a lozenge with four milligrams of nicotine in the cherry ice flavor. Each and every flavor tastes absolutely amazing, and it's convenient and discreet, okay? You can enjoy them anywhere, on a flight, at work, on the go, even at the gym.

You can do it. It's simple. It fits into your life, all right? It's 2021. Get rid of the cigarettes, unplug your vape, throw out your dip, and get some Lucy nicotine gum or lozenges. I mean, this is the real deal.

You get a subscription to Lucy. It comes directly to your door each month. It's so simple. You don't even have to leave the house because Lucy has delivery down. So this is what we're going to do. You're going to go to Lucy.co. That's L-U-C-Y.co and then use the promo code flagrant and you're going to get 20% off all products on your first order, including the gum or the lozenges. Remember, that's lucy.co, promo code flagrant at checkout. Now, I have to give this disclaimer. Warning, this product contains nicotine derived from tobacco.

Nicotine is an addictive chemical. Lucy.co, be sure to use the promo code flagrant. Now, let's get back to this exclusive Patreon clip. Yo, hold up. Why do you think I didn't meet Melinda Gates and Bill Gates? Why do you think I didn't meet them? You did. Yo, you could see famous people in casinos.

It's the watering hole. They got to go there. Nah. What you mean, nah? They're billionaires. But I believe you, but he's saying there's no way they're not a private room.

But I believe you. I met him too. Thank you. Dove met him. Oh, but you believe Dove met him? Yes. Why not me? Dove being way nicer rooms than you.

Fuck you. Yeah, I was at Sundance Film Fest at the Bing.com launch party, and he was dancing. And he was dancing. Hey, he was dancing. Hold up. He was dancing. We were the fuck off the strip casino you be going to. I was in the wind.

It's called the bunny branch, all right? Do you know what's dope about him when he goes dancing? He's got four security guards that if anyone tries to take pictures or film, they flash the brightest light. Say that again? He has four security guards? At least. So he wasn't just playing $3 poker at the win.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry. When you're in a casino, do you need security? No. Yes. It is the most videotaped place on the planet. Every single step you take, they're watching you. They still don't want to be photographed.

They got the pit boss. Dude, these Chinese people didn't know who we were. They need the flashlights. It's Chinese people. That's another thing. They don't know no white person. Of course they know who they is. They stole his technology and copyrighted it.

Nah, if it was Steve Jobs, they'd be jumping out of windows on a net. But they don't know Bill Gates like that. Also, Bill Gates is unassuming. His wife was wearing some capris, some khaki capris, dressed trash. Like a middle school teacher? Super trash middle school teacher. Some sandals, like almost like clogged. Like a Seattle bitch.

I know it. Yo, yo, yo, yo. Look this up right now. Bill Gates. Gates in the wind. In the wind. Look, there's a Bill Gates in the wind playing Chinese poker. Look that shit up right now.

Guaranteed. Yo, Dove. When you saw Bill Gates, was Melinda dancing this bitch? What was she doing? Whoa, dude. It's Melinda whatever your last name is. You don't get Gates no more, dog. The Gates is closed.

There's going to be no more Gates. Did it? Hey, in the wind. Nope. Lies, Al. Lies. Well, yeah. You you gotta use Bing to find hold on hold on use Google

I'm wondering if it was even a win fam I'll be honest with you I know it was Vegas I'm aware of that that much but I saw them there you walked by you said yo what up Gates

the guy just looked at you with a weird ass face like who the fuck is this guy sorry I saw Thomas Jefferson once upon a time I saw TJ wasn't even Jason Derulo you saw him

it was just some random black guy? It was a random black guy. And that's why you said that. I was thinking it was Charlamagne Tha God. I just said that. I said it was Jason Derulo. I'm not saying that.

It's facts. These are facts, bro. I can't believe y'all think I would lie about meeting Bill Gates when we had one buffet together. No, I just think that we ate at the buffet

at the Wynn together one time. You thought it was not. That's the homie, bro. That's the homie. It's the homie, bro. It's the homie, bro. Literally. Get him on the pod.

Yo, dude, he's a wild boy. He's finna get out here. He's finna be out here. I bet we could get Bill Gates. Dove, get us Bill Gates, dog. Remember that time I met you at the Sundance Film Festival, Bill? This is the podcast for newly single men. Get us Bill Gates.

Wait, wait, we're single out here? newly single men get us bill gates wait wait 50 cent can't move to texas talking about x boxes that was a joke somebody made who was it will noonan i think will noonan made that shit um she's the xbox yeah oh yeah what's that melinda gates is the xbox that's fine yeah there's um yeah i don't know i don't know oh you got that you get that back in there bro come on you got this you got this our costume got got him Okay But are we done with this Melinda Gates conversation guys? Is there anything else You'd like to say?

I know y'all hating Like I didn't meet Bill Gates How come I'm the only one That don't like her? $3 Chinese poker son $3 What kind of goofy ass bitch Playing $3 Chinese poker?

First of all First of all This fucking bitch You a billionaire bitch You making him stand behind you He your security bitch? There's no way this is true And when he alone

He gets four security guards. They gamble with countries, bro. They could gamble with all of the GDP of Sri Lanka. Sign, sign, sign. $3 poker is not enough for them to be fine. It was a different time. That's probably worth at least $10 now. That's true, though.

That's true. That's true. What was Microsoft trading at at the time? I don't know because I wasn't into stocks. I wasn't a crypto cowboy at the time. Yeah, we crypto cowboys, baby. But we are crypto cowboys. But I got some Microsoft right now. Let me see if that shit green. Oh, it's wasn't into stocks. I wasn't a crypto cowboy at the time. Yeah, we crypto cowboys, baby. But I got some Microsoft right now.

Let me see if that shit green. Oh, it's finna get green. I bet he coming back on some Steve Jobs shit. I'd buy Microsoft stock right now. Now this dead weight is off of him. Hold on one second. Let me see if we green. Let me see if we're green.

Are we green? Microsoft is green. Walking to mad money. Up 0.12%. Your boy is raking it in hey let's go um all right so that's it we're done melinda nothing else about her she goes away what's she gonna do she can give away her money if she gives away her money for real for real i'll respect her but i don't have that faith in her this bitch do you think he was trying to drag her on you know he was like we plan on giving away all our money do you think he was like i'll give it away before this girl divorces me oh i think

she finally called on she was like uh uh we out of here give me my half maybe that's why he threw her name on the charities if she would think she had something to do with it but akash what happens if you find out that she divorced him because she was protesting him not giving the IP for the vaccine to India. Whoa! Yo, Dove, that was a haymaker. Damn. Yo, you know who else got it? This is a King Solomon cut the baby in half moment. Yes, it is. You got it, all right?

Damn, boy. It could happen. I just want you protected. Bill Gates wouldn't give the IP to India for the vaccine, and that's why all them Indians are dying, bro. Do you want to breathe for a second? Do you want to talk through this? Talk about it.

Before you go at Dove, we can just talk through this. India, bro, because of motherfucking Bill Gates, dog. Do you want to breathe for a second or do you want to talk through this? Talk about it. Before you go adult, we can just talk through this. Because of motherfucking Bill Gates, dog. And what's her name? Melinda. Okay. Yeah. I never trust that.

I bet that bitch holding it right now. I never trust this bitch ever. That's the bitch that's holding. That's the reason we're dying is Melinda. You trying to fool me. I bet she paid you, this bitch. I don't trust this bitch ever. Why does he have the IP to the vaccine?

How you have IP to a vaccine, by the way? That's also blowing my mind. Yeah,. Why does he have the IP to the vaccine? How do you have IP to a vaccine, by the way? That's also blowing my mind. Yeah, why does Bill Gates have the IP to the vaccine? What's IP? It's not a fucking movie plot. It's a formula. It's ingredients or whatever the fuck you call it. It's compounds.

Also, why we trust him about science but not Joe Rogan? Hey! Everybody says that shit like Joe Rogan's not a doctor. I trust Dave Smith before I trust Melinda Gates. I trust Dave Smith and Joe Rogan before I trust Bill Gates about science. What did he cure? Getting stung by a mosquito? That's hard.

That's hard. A net? He made a net, bro. That's literally all he did. All Bill Gates did was create viruses, to his point. Every software you get from Windows is just viruses, and he don't cure them shits. He don't make the antivirus oh my god this is a good ass point bro yo i'm getting my science info from rogan from now on yeah that's why i always get my science right fuck bill gates we

back to fuck bill gates bill gates i wish he was in a better casino because i was slap yo what's that yeah bill in the bellagio you know we got to get a little bit more sexy a little more sexy casino yeah all right uh what else we got oh big noses big dicks now y'all jealous did you see that new york post article no yeah i did oh bro and of course you wouldn't little dick motherfuckers don't be reading nothing they said big noses equal big dicks did you see it? I shared it with you guys. Of course.

Boom. You know what I'm saying? Hey, Dove, come in the frame just enough so they can see what you're packing. Just the tip? So lean back 10 centimeters. I'm just saying, they said there's a correlation between big noses and big dicks. Yeah. How do you guys feel about that now?

That's just black people. That's it. That's all that's happening right now. That's all that's happening. Don't try to culturally appropriate big noses, big dicks. That's just black people. That's it. That's all that's happening right now. That's all that's happening. Don't try to culturally appropriate big noses, big dicks. That's a black formula. Wait, why can't we say black guys have big dicks? We can say white people have big dicks. I mean, noses.

Wait, why can't we say black people have big noses? We can say Jews and white people like me have big noses. I don't think you're supposed to say that either, buddy. Shut the fuck up, Al. Oh, Melinda Gates-ass motherfucker. Yeah, I am Melinda Gates. Get out of these $3 tables, Al. We're trying to have some fun. Al, you don't have a big nose. You have big nostrils,

though. Thank you. I appreciate that. You don't have a big nose. You do. You don't. But you also probably don't have a big dick. What do you think about that? You know you have a small dick, but probably huge urethra. Strong stream. Massive fucking stream, dude. about that what do you think about that you know you have a small dick but probably huge urethra strong street massive fucking street like a little bit for real that'd be kind of weird

if you just had a huge hole not that big dick huge one gets caught in it yeah dude got a belly button dick looks like the star wars monster. What's that? Star Wars from the sand monster. That's what you got. Yeah, I got that. Boba Fett? No, it's the sand monster that comes up that they feed people to. That would be like the big hole. Yeah.

That's Al's dick. It looks like an uncircumcised dick. I don't know it. I'm trying to get there. I don't know it. And I don't know Star Wars that well. But I know that Al's got a big urethra. Yeah.

Yeah, you got a big urethra, bro. Yeah, you got that urethra Franklin, bro. Urethra Franklin. Bag it. Al got a urethra Franklin. All right. I think you got some new merch on your hands. Facts.

Okay, what else we got? Everybody leaving New York, bro. What do you mean? 50 Cent. 50 Cent leaving New York for Texas Everybody leaving New York, bro. What do you mean? 50 cent. 50 cent leaving New York for Texas? Move to Texas, baby. Really? He hasn't lived in New York for a minute.

He's been to Connecticut. Yeah. He bought Tyson's spot or something. Yeah. Now he in Texas. So, you know what I mean? Give it up. Oh, you know why that is?

Taxes. Connecticut said something about capital gains tax going up specifically. Dude, the Northeast tax to shit specifically dude the northeast yeah talk that shit talk that shit bro talk that shit i know he's gonna go to texas yeah have you ever seen those tiktoks or videos of what you can get for money like what house you can get in tech oh yeah yeah buddy i grew up there then my whole perspective is fucked dude you watch those videos and you can't watch it without being like what the fuck am i doing you can't those videos are like it'll be like a million dollars in texas and then like the tour never stops like go to part two of my other video you're like you don't have enough

time to get through this house like for a million yeah it makes you get to the end of that you're like oh okay and now that i do this that's what you always think yeah and now that you can because we made the house way more fun than going out the house. Oh, yeah. Internet, all this type of shit. Yeah. So much more fun. I think I had it. Maybe I was working on a joke about it or something like that.

Like women fought for the right to work like 30 years too early. Do you know what I mean? Like now it would be so lit to be a housewife. Right. You have your Netflix. You have everything at home. Back in the day, it sucked being at home all fucking day. You want to get out, get some but now all we've just held on

tight for 50 years yeah yeah they sold early they'd be sold early so yeah fucking hell this guy had a funny joke he said um uh this guy ryan he goes uh i bought my nephew uh when he was nine years old $5,000 worth of Bitcoin. Holy shit. And now that money, I bought him $5,000 and when he turns 18, he was going to get it

as part of like a trust. And he goes, now that is worth no longer having a relationship with my nephew. All right, guys, you just listened to a clip from our weekly Patreon episode.

If you want to continue to listen to that episode, subscribe, join the Asshole Army Patreon, keep it tight and keep it flagrant with us. You can do that at patreon.com

slash flagrant to indulge.