Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh - Bill Burr Makes SNL Great Again

Episode Date: October 13, 2020

This week Andrew, Akaash, AlexxMedia, and Mark discuss Bill Burr on SNL, IG Thots can't be feminists, why Lebron thinks he's better than Jordan, only republicans can catch corona, Dak Prescott won't be re-signed by the Cowboys, and much more. INDULGE! Want an extra episode a week? Join the Flagrant Army www.Patreon.com/FLAGRANT2 Flagrant 2 is a comedy podcast that delivers unfiltered, unapologetic, and unruly hot takes directly to your dome piece. In an era dictated by political correctness, hosts Andrew Schulz and Akaash Singh, along with AlexxMedia and Mark Gagnon, could care less about sensitivities. If it’s funny and flagrant it flies. If you are sensitive this podcast is not for you. But if you miss the days of comedians actually being funny instead of preaching to a quire then welcome to The Flagrancy.

What's up everybody? Welcome to Flagrant 2. I'm Andrew Schultz. I'm here with Aakash Singh, Alex Media, Mark Gagnon, and Taylor, who will not share her last name with us. This is our second time starting a podcast. She refused to share her last name like anybody gives a flying fuck with her last name. That shit starts with an H. Go look it up and tell us. Come on, Reddit. Do what you do, Reddit. All right? Come on, nerds. Why did QAnon start its own shit when it's just Reddit? Like, Reddit will just get to the bottom of shit, right? Isn't that what QAnon is? It's like a subreddit of a subreddit. Yeah, but it's Reddit for Facebook moms. Oh, it's old Reddit.

Yeah. Because Reddit is confusing. I don't want wanna start this Episode on Reddit Cause most people Don't know what the fuck that is That shit confuses me I'm just now starting to get it What Reddit? Um yeah The idea of subreddits

I'm like oh okay I think I get it now Now Mark had to walk me Through that whole shit Now I just get these Random updates on my phone Son we're becoming Our parents

When you were like I gotta teach my parents How to double click I've been there bro I'm taking prophylactics bro I'm taking vitamin C Vitamin D Zinc I'm taking allylactics bro I'm taking vitamin C Vitamin D Zinc

I'm taking all that shit Corona not fucking with me What's zinc bro Isn't a prophylactic Just a condom I don't know Probiotic prophylactic I'm taking some pro shit man

I might be swallowing trojans Who fucking knows But I'm doing everything I can For my health What Mark When your vitamins Are just metals dude Zinc is a metal That's when you know You're falling apart I'm taking everything I can for my health. What, Mark? When your vitamins are just metals, dude.

Zinc is a metal? That's when you know you're falling apart. I'm taking aluminum. It's like, Jesus, dude. Joe Rogan told me it's zinc. I was like, that's the shit I used to put on my nose so I didn't get sunburned as a kid. No, it's supposed to help your sperms. Zinc?

I think zinc and folate. I'm off the zinc, y'all. I've got these dainty testicles. It is a prophylactic. What does prophylactic mean? I think it keeps you from reproducing or something like that. So zinc. No, it's not zinc. All right.

If you're phylactic. Anti-phylactic. If I'm phylactic, like if my girl's like, yo, can you get me pregnant? I'm like, girl, I'm phylactic than a motherfucker. Does that make sense? The way I said that sentence? I don't know. Alex, do you know?

I don't think so. Is medication. I don't think so. Because if it's prophylactic, if I'm already phylactic, why do I need to be pro? Maybe you like amateur pro. I like being amateur. I'm not trying to be pro.

I'm not trying to be all-star phylactic. I like a nice amateur level phylactation. Amateur phylactics is where it's at. Right? Amateur phylactics. Prophylactic. Come on, Taylor. You got to have a friend named prophylactic.

Come on, bro. What is that supposed to mean? Nothing I don't know I don't know I kinda got friends With weird names too Mark you got any friends With weird names?

No No Okay Just Ben His father Ben And if you guys don't know What we're talking about It's in a past episode

You can get back to it But look We're here We're queer Alex said we're talking about, it's in a past episode. You can get back to it. But look, we're here. Alex said we're queer. We have a lot of things that we need to talk about today. First one, there might be a new goat on the block, bro. There might be a new goat on the comedy block.

There might be a new goat on the comedy block. block bill burr did an snl monologue in front of snl's super like trust fund white woman audience yeah right and he did it bill burr style my man was bill burr all the way through bill burr through and through and killed in arguably the worst audience in comedy, murdered with his own material, didn't pander at all. I think he might be the goat with straight skill and manipulation. I want to break down like how he got these people

to have no sense of humor, to laugh at actual real jokes that are offensive. But we got to start having a conversation. There might be a new goat in town. He right now might be the best. I think he's the best comic working right now in this moment i include chapelle in that which is lofty oh see now i was separating

chapelle whoa i was put chapelle's almost like um because chapelle is kind of doing his own thing right now that isn't really stand up in the sense it's like whatever his um george floyd special was that wasn't comedy right you can't say h Hannah Gadsby's not comedy and then say Chappelle is in that special. They are a similar thing. They're not really comedy. They're trying to say something. Right. Bill Burr, that's comedy.

So I think in this moment right now, what he is doing is more stand up than what Chappelle is doing and he's the best doing it right now. How about this? Just for the sake of discussion, we take Chappelle out. Okay. Fair. We just take Chappelle out. Chappelle's the goat.

Goated. On Mount Rushmore of comedy. Nobody could touch him. a discussion we take chapelle out okay you just take chapelle out chapelle's the goat goaded on mount rushmore of comedy nobody could touch him god status while he's still alive very few comics get to have that you know there's a lot of comics that we revere after they're dead like a lenny bruce type you know we got lenny somewhere there he is we got lenny in the studio right now but and prior probably got it while he was alive he did but definitely after he was alive probably even more so he's like the the Jay-Z of comedy. Where you're getting your flowers while you're still, I don't know, rapping or you're still doing your art, if you will. So if we're looking at just pure comics in that way, Bill Burr, what he did on SNL, if you guys haven't seen it, go watch it.

It's on YouTube. It's on Twitter. It's on whatever the fuck it is. But it was masterful, man. it's on YouTube, it's on Twitter, it's on whatever the fuck it is. But it was masterful, man. And the way that he came out and the way that he got this crowd on his side, I thought was absolutely brilliant. Go ahead. Okay. So if you guys don't know Bill Burr, you can look up his jokes. There's nothing likable about his takes. Yeah. At all. It's maybe the least likable premises that exist. 100%. Which you know we love. I mean, that's the idea behind Inside Jokes, right? When we were

doing Inside Jokes, that show When we were doing Inside Jokes and that show was like, how do we take the most fucked up premises and then make them funny? To a degree, it's the idea behind Flare and Two. Absolutely.

Absolutely. 100%. So we have this, he goes up and the first joke he actually does, you think the audience thinks

he's on their side. Yes. Right? So the first joke is wear a mask, right? And if you don't wear a mask, good, you'll die. And it goes into his feeling where we need less people.

We're overpopulated. We're overpopulated. We need less people. So the woke audience is like, well, I don't want to laugh at people dying, but I do like that he wants people to wear masks and you're supposed to wear masks. So that's what Fauci tells me. And I just regret saying whatever Fauci tells me. So, okay, I can laugh at this guy.

He's good. He's good. He goes, we can get less people, get rid of the people. It'll be the best possible thing in the world. It will be, what is the exact line he says? I forget what he says. He goes, it was a dream come true. He goes, something like that.

It'll be, it's a dream come true, less people. He goes, talking about dreams come true. Did you guys see Rick Moranis get knocked the fuck out of the office? Oh my God, that transition was so fucking good. Beautiful, right? So now he's rope-a-dope. And this is my favorite part, right? So now the woke audience

is like, am I allowed to laugh at this? I'm not sure if I'm allowed to. A man was punched. Now it is a man that's punched, so it's kind of okay to laugh at it. White man, cis white male. A cis white man is punched,

but he is smaller. Can we laugh at that? We're not exactly sure. And then he says this. He goes, New York is back, baby. That was the fucking line. And when he goes,

New York is back, all the people in the audience who identify as New Yorkers because they've still been in New York, back, baby. That was the fucking line. And when he goes, New York is back, all the people in the audience who identify as New Yorkers because they've still been in New York, they didn't go back home for whatever reason, I assume that they're not actual New Yorkers because we don't go to SNL. Yeah.

It's like the Empire State Building. 100% transplants. Yeah, exactly, right? So basically, they lose it because finally there's somebody that has their back that's saying publicly, New York is back. You know what I think it feeds into?

Even if you're like the most left-wing guy, you got crazy pride in New York. You're probably not born here, but you still really take a lot of pride in being a New Yorker. Yeah. And then when he says New York is back, you feel tougher. You identify as a place you're not born in. You have even more pride, right? Like you. You're overcompensating.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. 100%. I'm a perfect example. Perfect example. I'm super Indian because I don't have to risk getting raped you know i mean like i'm just in it i mean i'm here comfy love it you're right and then you feel tougher when somebody says oh a guy got punched in new york new york is back you're like oh i'm from a tough city me super left wing glasses wearing motherfucker is tough for living here fuck yeah new york is back coming on the heels of rock's performance which i watched i didn't watch before and i watched i think you

were hard on him same i thought that this was a difference i saw i thought that he had a few really good roast jokes up front right like the first thing he said i thought was funny where he was like you know uh let's not acknowledge the elephant in the room donald trump is in the hospital right now with covid and i you know my thoughts and prayers go out for covid yeah i thought it was a funny joke yeah what it is a good opening here's the thing it acknowledges what everybody's thinking in the moment in a clever way and anytime you do that it's amazing okay on the spot we're not talking about he worked that joke out for months he didn't know he's going to be in the hospital for months but you got to open up something with whatever i thought he had a funny couple funny rows in the front

what i will say is this chris rock didn't do and maybe he's changed but like it seemed to me like chris rock was doing what he thought the snL audience would like, not what he wanted. He was like, what will kill in front of them? Let's do these jokes. Not pandering per se, but definitely not him, him going hard,

but maybe he's changed. Maybe he's grown. Maybe he's become like more mature where he cares about these things. So I'll say like, so that was my initial feeling. And then the other thing I felt when I was watching him was like, it was classic rock premises that were really strong,

but one punchline and then move on. If you want to talk about, if you want to talk about having to work out material for a longer time, 100%, if he worked on material for a longer time,

I think he'd add more punchlines. But like, for me, I look at Chris Rock and I'm like, this is a brilliant guy that chose to put his brilliance into comedy. And then there are certain guys that are just hysterical guys that learn how to do stand

up. I don't think he's like a naturally funny guy. I think he's a naturally brilliant guy that found a way to hack stand up. I thought he had a similar issue, but it's more glaring than as Burr because they didn't have enough time to work it out. But Burr, we've sat in a car with Burr He's kind of just Bill Burr Like he's just

Being Bill Burr The whole time he's talking Yeah You've talked to Rock More than me But from what I know He is not Chris Rock on stage

Off stage No he's just brilliant Those are very different people He's just brilliant He gotta put in a lot of work Off stage Or like stage after stage To get to Chris Rock

That we know Doing specials Yeah he's got a fake voice About that time Yeah Yeah I just felt Like you do that When you're like When you're looking at it Almost like a scientist You're like stage after stage to get to Chris Rock that we know doing specials. Yeah. He's got a fake voice. Yeah. Yeah. I just felt. Like you do that when you're like,

when you're looking at it almost like a scientist, you're like, what other mechanism do I need to induce more laughter? You know what I mean? Like he's really kind of looking, I think Chris Rock is just an absolute genius, like an absolute genius that found standup comedy. And I think Burr is just like a hysterical dude,

just like a funny guy that learned the art of i think he's a blue collar just a dude who found stand-up comedy and he's funny and smart as fuck but rock is it's a different level if he wasn't on stage he'd be doing drywall like and these women think they got it hard perfect put up the fucking drywall my girl's at home right now doing dishes i'd rather do dishes than putting up this dry, like I think that's the exact same guy, bro. Yeah.

And I think that's why he like, things resonate so much with people on like a lizard level and it's so funny the reaction of it. The exact group of people that he went after, the woke white women, got pissed.

Yep. And who was supporting the fuck out of it? Black people. Yeah. Bro, that's the funniest thing. Right?

Like all over Twitter, like all over all over twitter like all these like black activists being like yo this bill burr thing is great because they like roast their two favorite things to make fun of which are uppity white chicks and gays like yo this is perfect like what's the problem for real dude it was just it was just beautiful black people enjoy edgy comedy and so i guess guess I was disappointed with Chris because it wasn't that edgy. Like normally, especially politics talks, he'll get pretty edgy with it. And like, I kind of felt like you said, he was going for the crowd. Chris was trying to do well.

He didn't want to bomb. There was a moment. Bill was like, you know what? I'm going for it. That's what I'm saying. And Chris, at that level, you should go for it. You got to go for it. When was Chris's last stand up?

Maybe a few years ago. He up? Maybe a few years ago. He came out one a few years ago. Was it good? The first half was awful. Last year. The first half was awful. Second half was really good. Yeah.

But he's in an interesting transition where I think he's trying to shed the. Right. I think he thinks it's played or whatever. Personally, I still love it. But I think he feels like he's too old or it's too old or something because his whole career flipped. He used to do jokes telling in a regular voice

and he was doing fine. But then when he came out with Bring the Pain and he started talking like this, whole shit is different. Whole career changes. The whole trajectory of his career changes.

What's so funny, Taylor? Maybe that really works for black people. No, don't do that. Maybe the whole time he was talking regular and black people were black people no don't do that you sound just like he was talking regular and black people were like I don't get this

corny skinny motherfucker and the second he was like what do you mean it works bro she can't even help herself what the fuck is so funny Taylor she laughing

you're making the exact same face we make that shit is so funny, Taylor? She laughing. You're making the exact same face we make. This is so funny. One thing you're probably going to enjoy when Comedy Club open back up is that now that all the restaurants have moved to the menu on the phone, like you just scan on your table. So now you don't have to talk to the waitresses anymore. You just order straight from your phone and they just bring it out and leave. As if Comedy Club waitress jobs couldn't have gotten easier. I mean, less talking your phone and they just bring it out and leave. As if comedy club waitress jobs couldn't have gotten easier. I mean,

less talking. I should have used to bug you out. It's the easiest job in the world. And the fact that they complain at all drives me crazy.

I think I've talked about in this very podcast. The problem is all the comics want to fuck them so they feed into like, oh, it's so hard. Thank you.

I don't know how you do what you do. I appreciate what you do. I understand how it can be done. It don't seem impossible it could be done with whisper that's all i gotta say you could whisper sometimes there's a lot of there's talking out loud this guy's what no it's just the times that you've gone off on it's just i don't get it i don't get it he's He's hit OHS with a bop, bop, bop before.

100%. He'll be doing a bit about how white people are entitled. And he goes, hey, ladies, shut the fuck up. You're right. She was very entitled. Very entitled to the audience that we brought to that comedy. Do you know what I mean? But you always do it in a fun way.

So it's good. I don't mean to be funny. I mean, I don't mean to be funny Yeah I mean I don't mean to be funny I'm trying to give you The outfit If they got checks on Andrew I had never seen him Care about anything less

Than he does A set he's doing When they drop checks His entire energy level drops I mean he's just like Fuck everything Burn the whole show To the ground

I don't care I don't care Did I stop doing comedy During the checks With you guys at all Yeah I did that right right yeah yeah that's a long 15 minutes boy i sat on the stage yeah i won't do i won't compete with math i won't compete with math i'm not gonna do that i'm not i've been working too hard i've been working too hard bro you doing calculus ain't you got your iPhone for that?

Sorry How hard is 15%? Oh, if he does Chris Rock You know black people don't tip? If you do Chris Rock for Halloween Is that sexy? It's just a zero with a line through it Wait, wait, wait

Serious question Serious question Why do they put the line though? To make sure, right though To make sure right To make sure you know It's a zero Just right now Can I talk to the manager

I really want you to be Chris Rock for Halloween Nobody told me It was a two drink minimum I shouldn't have to pay For this shit I want you to be Chris Rock for Halloween

But It is still Considered It's still considered blackface, but he's still part of the cult. Why do people think they gotta paint their face for Halloween? Can't you just not paint your face? Because it looks closer.

It don't really, though. It looks closer than not. If you're white, maybe, but when you put in straight shoe polish on, I'd be Chris Rock. Who gives a fuck? I don't know if it's on like I'd be Chris Rock who gives a fuck how do you think Jimmy Fallon Chris Rock

hold on how do we think Jimmy Fallon's Chris Rock without the black face without black face that's a good point you would never think he was Chris Rock

even if he was doing that voice yeah he's just a white guy in a leather jacket looks like a greaser or something yeah

think about it it wouldn't work well if he wears a mask is that yo that's how stupid this whole shit is can he wears a mask, is that... Yo, that's how stupid this whole shit is. Can you wear a black mask?

Is black mask okay? Black mask is okay. Black mask is okay, but black face isn't. That's fucked up to the face paint industry. Who knows the face paint industry could be owned by black family

and they're not selling no black paint because of y'all. Don't do that. It's true. You're killing black business. We are. There's a history of why people are not supposed to do black face. Yeah, because you hate because of y'all don't do that it's true you are killing black business we are there's a history

of why people are not supposed to do blackface yeah because you hate black businesses yeah that's right that was probably

what was in Tulsa Tulsa was probably just a blackface paint business and it was thriving it was thriving yeah it was thriving

and then black people came through they burnt that shit. Yeah. I think you got it. Wait, what is it? White people burnt it down? White people burnt down.

Well, it was probably white face paint then. Oh, yeah. Or triangle sheets. It's not a problem if we do white face though. I love being black for that. Wait, you can't. Wait a minute. Because he's happy.

Wait a minute. Hold on, Taylor. Taylor, look how happy the idea is. Ask Chris Rock though. Taylor, you don't see the Hold on, Taylor. Taylor, look how happy the idea is. Ask Chris Rock, though. Taylor, you don't see the hypocrisy, Taylor? Oh, so you can do whiteface. This man can't dress up as Mr. T. He can't be in the 18th, Taylor.

His name is already Andrew. Oh, my God, Andrew. I like that. Hey, hey, what you talking about, Taylor? Oh, shit, that's Gary Coleman. I done got my black, Andrew. I like that. Hey, hey, what you talking about, Taylor? Ah, shit, that's Gary Coleman. I done got my black people confused. Oh my God. You really sound like a black dude

because I can't understand you. Oh my God. Yo Oh my god Bro My stomach hurts Yo You killed that Chris Rock Thanks buddy

Yo Chris need to bring that back Right That's your slap yo I know Nerdy ass Chris Talking about his emotional problems Now shut up Yeah

Talk about racism How fucked up is that? Like, Chris is trying to open up about his divorce and, like, marriage and dating again. There's just a bunch of people in the audience like, wait, wait, wait. Talk about white people being mean. Oh, my God.

Oh, fuck. Oh, I was saying that. Wait a minute. I just got an idea. Do you think the reason why there's not a lot of that left in his standup is because as a black dude that becomes incredibly famous and incredibly wealthy, you experience far less racism in your face?

White people get way better when you're rich. Yeah. You get a higher breed of white person. Interesting. A more evolved white. Yeah. So I wonder if it actually hurts his comedy. It's like that Lil Wayne shit.

Keep going. They ask Lil Wayne, do you believe racism exists in America? And he's like, nah, man. White people made me rich. So yeah, fine. And I'm like, what? And he had that story about the white police officer that saved his life. Oh, yeah.

Because he got shot. But all these dual ass rappers, and they're like yeah no racism doesn't exist and it's like just because they got rich and all of a sudden they were surrounded by like white record execs trying to make money off them right so as long as somebody's like paying you or helping you get wealthy you're all of a sudden very yeah sensitive about how they're spoken to right or like you don't see it as much related to chris rock they don't care no more because it has nothing to do with their life but i wonder i wonder if it's kind of like you know when like a band gets successful Like you don't see it as much? No, they just don't care no more because it has nothing to do with their life. But I wonder if it's kind of like,

you know when like a band gets successful, their music starts to suck? You ever heard about like a rock band gets really successful and then the next version starts to suck, right? And it's like if Kurt Cobain didn't kill himself, his music would have been so bad he would have done it anyway. His music is about how like miserable and like angsty he was. Right? Look at Eminem. No more angst. The music sucks. and angsty he was. Right? Look at Eminem.

No more angst. The music sucks. Yeah, it's tough. Right? Like when R&B singers aren't heartbroken anymore, like that music's trash. Yeah, Skinny Adele's

gonna blow. That's gonna suck. You don't want to hear Skinny Adele talk about fucking famous rappers. Was she good when she was fat?

She was nice when she was fat. Was she good because she was fat? She was good because she was fat and lonely and broken up with. Yeah.

And eating all the time. Who wants to eat with a fatso? You don't want to hear the song, Hello? Who wants to eat with a fatso? All right, guys. We're going to take a break for a second because y'all got to get rooted. Hell yeah, boy. Y'all got to get rooted.

Rooted and booted. Rooted and booted. I was going to go tooted and rooted. Okay. But I like rooted and booted too. If y'all don't know what NeuroRoot is. Oh my God. Let me tell you.

Mark, tell them about that root, man. That root got you going. Got me fired up. Just to let y'all know, if y'all have had fun with this podcast so far, if you continue listening, you're going to see how absolutely crazy it gets. We were all rooted for this podcast today. Locked in. It's not fair to other podcasts.

It really isn't. It's a PD. We shouldn't even share it with them. It's a pd it is a performance enhancing drug it's a podcast enhancing drug it's a pd oh it's a pd so let's tell them what the fuck it is though yo it's like the limitless drug but cbd is basically a limitless drug no what it really does is it increases focus like a motherfucker it promotes brain activity uh function memory development a positive mood even um if you guys think it's bullshit it's not you know there's caffeine there's b6 in here for extra

energy you're not gonna get that same crash that you get from coffee listen clearly we still fuck with coffee we're not out here telling you to replace coffee that's just stupid but it does give you an extra advantage you got a meeting you gotta lock into some work you gotta lock into some studying that you gotta lock into some video gaming you know i mean you might have a long ass tournament you got to do check out that neuro root um listen you can get it at neuroroot.com and use the code flagrant you're gonna get a 20 discount and now again that's neuro that's n-e-u-r-o-r-o-o-t. com Use the code flagrant I promise you It is the perfect boost Pick me up When you need to be able

To focus Like a motherfucker And not have that crash That happens later Would y'all agree? Oh yeah Well while we're all On the same page

Let's keep the podcast going Hell yeah We need to have A serious discussion On whether Corona Is real or not Because You all on this shit

You've been waiting For Corona to not be real You've been hopping In and out of this league. I really have. I'm tired of it. Just wait. Five years, all the Corona shit will be done.

And on that day, Andrew's going to go, I told you. I told you this whole thing was fake. I played both sides of the seesaw. You know how they always look back at someone's tweets? Like right now they're doing with LeBron. They're like, in 2019, he said he was going to bring a championship to LA.

And it's like, well, yeah, that's what everybody else said. That was like a year ago. Yeah, but like also on every team, you're like, nah he said he was going to bring a championship to LA and it's like well yeah that's what everybody else said that was like a year ago yeah but like also on every team you're like nah we went in it this year but he's not like prophetic this is what every person thinks when they go into the season nobody's like nah we coming in third you know like why would you go into basketball if that was the case so I just take both sides so I can just cherry pick there's a video of Skip Bayless arguing against Skip Bayless about Aaron Rodgers. They're going to have one of those with you and Corona. I love it.

I love it. And let me give them everything they need. You ready? Yeah. I don't think this shit is real. I really don't know if it's real, dude. I know it's real because 200,000 people died. I'm not trying to say that, you know, they fake their deaths, obviously.

Allegedly, yeah. Exactly. All I'm trying to say is, allegedly. This motherfucker's a wild boy. He did die. make their deaths, obviously. Allegedly, yeah. Exactly. All I'm trying to say is, allegedly, this motherfucker, wild boy, they did die. Yeah, put you out there. Now what?

Make that joke. Did they? That's so, that was awesome. Nah, they died, Al. They died. That's not a question. In 10 years time,

there's going to be COVID deniers. This is going to be fucking retarded. Bro, we've been talking for 10 years. 10 minutes. We've been denying it for the last five minutes on this podcast. Do you believe in COVID? Yes.

Do you? Yes. A documentary is going to come out and it's going to have some conspiracy theories. I hate it. I know you don't believe in COVID. You know how I know? Why?

Because you started dressing like you're from New York. What? Look how Alex dressed today. I could tell Mark lost confidence in your point. He was so ready to cosign, and he was like, ooh. Did I go through puberty in my ooh? Damn, bro. Wait, Alex is telling one of y'all.

I was about to be on to something. Yeah. Mark lost confidence, y'all. No, I'm still with it. He was ready, and then. Y'all made me lose confidence. No, I'm still with it. I'm still with it He was ready And then Y'all made me lose confidence No I'm still with it I'm still with it Yeah Al your outfit sucks

No I think it's good Oh no it is really good What Mark shut up I hate you Mark You're fake too You're the worst hype man ever Yeah

Where's Memphis Bleak When you need him I don't know which way He's going ever You know how hard Memphis Brands over here Trying to help me out Trying to hype someone

With Mr. X It's impossible No look What I'm trying to help me out. Trying to hype someone with Mr. X? It's impossible. No, look. What I'm trying to say is I don't think that Corona is completely fake. Right? Go ahead. Okay. This is the nuanced version.

There's some Corona out there. Listen, let me be objective. There's some Corona out there. That's undeniable. Okay. Okay. Corona exists. Get to the deniable part, please. How we've handled itiable part please how we've handled it okay how we've

handled it okay very poor yes and what i mean by that is we shouldn't have closed anything down okay i'm watching wheezy's instagram story i'm watching mandy's instagram story shout out to horrible decisions they're out there in mexico for lack of a better word whoring it the fuck up. Okay. I believe that's an appropriate word based on their podcast and how they identify themselves. Yeah. Okay. Al, am I right on that?

Well, these slut buckets are out there dancing. Hey, hey, hey. Barney already bailed on Andrew the last time. Yo, you know if you bail I'm going harder I know but Come on

Was that really that crazy? Come on dude Cum funnels? Yeah cum funnels That's nice That's better Taylor That's fine

What? What's wrong with that? Do you have a problem With the term funnel? Funnel is different Taylor I would never speak Would you prefer vacuum? Different

Listen Taylor A vacuum Taylor We would never speak Disrespectfully to women Around you Okay

Yes Keep that in mind Never ever Ever once would we do that That's true So what just happened right now? That was not disrespectful We were talking about

Lubed up esophagite Yeah For real For real Okay All I want to say is They're partying like crazy Yeah

It is unbelievable What's going on there Unbelievable Can I Wheezy sent me a video That she told me That she's not going to post But I'll talk about it.

It's just a party. It's a party. Everybody is going to Mexico to party. Okay. We know this for a fact. Everybody's going to Mexico to party from around the whole world because Mexico never shut down their borders. Yeah.

Right. We know that about y'all. I went to Mexico. Okay. We've been trying to shut that fucking shit down for a while. Okay. They don't believe in shutting down borders, not even during COVID.

People are flying there from around the world. You win. Do you have COVID? No. So riddle me this. Riddle me this. Science nerd. Dork.

Friend. Losers. friend losers you're back on Mark you're back on board let's go okay so riddle me this if the whole world

is going to Mexico partying together no social distancing okay smooching it up I saw full on makeouts bikinis people coughing breathing breathing, dancing.

Methamphetamines are all over the place. Methamphetamines, dude. I saw methamphetamines. Both of them? Both of them. Not just one methamphetamine. You saw both of them. You saw methamphetamine?

Methamphetamine. There was Ren and Stimpy and methamphetamine. I saw them all down there in Mexico. Okay? Keep going. They should be getting corona, passing it around, if it's as contagious as everybody says, and then bring it back to their respective cities around the world. Why is this not happening?

Hmm. Why is this not happening? How do you know it's not happening? I know, man. Why you can only get Corona at Republican gatherings? Exactly. Why is it? Exactly.

You can't get Corona at the Black Lives Matter march. That's valid. You can't get Corona at the Lakers parade. Exactly. You can't get corona black lives matter march you can't get corona at the lakers parade you can't get corona at taylor's parties in mexico that's valid that's valid why is it woke white people kill coronas no because woke white people are afraid to try to uh say black people are doing anything wrong because they're pussies i think that's right i think corona's racist yeah who's pussy who Who's pussy? The woke white people were shaming the Republicans

for going to the gatherings but won't be like, hey guys, can we not go to Mexico to party it up? They won't do that. Did you find a way to make this not fun?

Did you find a way to make something really fun, not fun by analyzing it like we did to Bill Burr's jokes on SNL for the first 20 minutes of this fucking podcast.

I thought you were being serious. That's my bad. I'll take that. Cardi B just had a party. Cardi B had a birthday bash. Okay, poppin' pussy in spandex. There should be corona all over the place, but it's not there. Why not?

Melanin. Melanin. I've been sad black people can't get it. That's actually a good point. She said that a long time ago. I said that a long time ago and people got upset at me for that. They said I was the reason that Corona was allegedly ravaging the black community because black people were trusting me and they're going out there and breathing all over each other.

That's very true. You know the only black person that got it? Herman Cain. Republican. He's Republican. Corona is targeting Republicans. You want to know why? If we're going to get really conspiracy theory? You want's targeting Republicans. You want to know why? If we're going to get really conspiracy theory,

you want to go real conspiracy theory? You know why? Because it's a bug controlled by China. And you know who they want in office? They don't want Donnie T in office. They want Joe Biden in office. They want them blue coats. They want them blue coats.

Why do they want the blue coats? Because they like China more. Okay? Alright. Why else? I thought you knew the answer and I was going with you on that one. Are we passing around the hot potato? The hot potato's been

passed. Akash, you better be ready. You better be ready. It's going to Mark. And what's the question again? Mark, you should have been paying attention. Akash. Because better be ready. You better be ready. It's going to Mark. What's the question again? Mark, you should have been paying attention. Akash. Language of origin? Because the blue coats are pussies. Decent. Found a way to do it again. You found a way to do it again.

Bring back the Chris Rock voice. We need some momentum. The blue coats are pussy. They ain't doing nothing to China. You got nukes, all we got is dukes. We holding them shits up like that. Anyhow. I thought you were going to come with a haymaker or something.

Or a ginsu sword. What? What? Did you say the N-word? No. Can he say the N-word? I can say theword? No. Can he say the N-word? I can say the N-word. Can he say the N-word?

Nah. I can say... Because you know what he means. Okay. Yo, Taylor, that's like when he did those braids. They weren't cornrows, but they looked like it

and you knew what he was trying to do. Devil horns. They were what? White devil. Okay, just making sure. Just making sure. Which group you were putting horns on, Mark. Just making sure.

There's so many times I'm looking at Mark, I'm like, and then I was like, okay. I'll be feeling like, wait, hold up. And then, oh, okay, okay. He's toeing the line. Son. Woo. I'm so confused. You looking at him sideways.

Because I missed it. He said the N word? No, he didn't say the N word. He literally said it though. The N word. But even No, he didn't say the N word. He literally said the N word. But even that, I don't know if I want him to say. Wait, what about the N word? You got to speak into your mic. Sorry, what about the N word?

I thought he was going to say it in a Chris Rock impression. I thought that would be offensive. So I was making sure he didn't say it. So I said, don't say the N word. I kind of like consider anyone that's my skin complexion in like, like. He's allowed to say the N word? I'm good. I don't think I would care if he said it.

I don't be saying it, but I'm good though. I could. I really don't. No, you know what? She makes interesting point. And I have an argument as to why he should be allowed. Do you know one racist term? I'm interested.

Do you know? Akash is bad. No, no. Do you know an interesting, you know, a racial term used against Akash? Do you? Sand N-word. So people call him the N-word too. You know what I mean?

But I just look at like people that have my, like. How lazy is that? How lazy are racists that they're like, I don't know. Just throw N-word at the end of it. Where does he live in? The sand? Throw N-word at the end of it. Where does he live in? The sand? Throw N-word at the end of that shit.

That's great. You start calling Hawaiians like island N-words. Canadians. Ice N-words. Yo, that'd be crazy. Have you heard the PC,

I've been called the dune-coon? Oh, dune? The PC version of it? It's even lazier. It's like, yeah, we can't say the N-word, just ah, dune-coon. There you go. Yo. It's like, yeah, we can't say the N-word.

Just, ah, Dune-kun. There you go. But what racist is like, you can't say the N-word? White. So white racists won't say the N-word, but they're still racist? Wait, hold on, wait.

Hold on, what? It's like the PG-13 racial slur. You know what I mean? I'm just saying, I can call you this at school and get away with it. I know, I know, but all I'm saying is,

if you're racist towards somebody, clearly you're not going to be, you know, apologetic about using the N-word. would just go for it but we found a subset of racists who even acknowledged that the n-word that's true it's too racist for their racism that's true that's how racist the n-word is i could say that shit though did you ever give your theory why corona is actually over it's not over i think that we're handling it the wrong way sweden okay okay i saw one fucking graph i'm on record i'm on record in the beginning i wish we handled it like sweden like

sweden sweden never even did the mass you go to a mall in sweden they don't got no message just walking around normal some people died don't get me wrong they died but apparently they're back to the same levels as everybody else in europe, but their economy didn't take no hit. And in terms of death levels, their economy didn't take a hit at all. And, uh, say that again.

They have higher herd immunity, higher herd immunity. So then more, I guess more people can't, um, pass it on. Yeah. Right.

So, and that's the thing that's like you, they, they point to certain places like New Zealand, which like blocked it out really well. Like they just had this big, I think it was a rugby match that Mark was showing me where like tons of people in the stands like tens of thousands of people in the stands just watching rugby and none of them had

masks or anything like that right here's the thing there's no herd immunity there because nobody got that shit so my thing is well if you open up the country eventually some people are going to come where they have it and now you're going to have spread all over the country it's not like this thing is going to go away the only option is herd immunity so you need to let with it, have it, and now you're going to have spread all over the country. It's not like this thing is going to go away. The only option is herd immunity, so you need to let motherfuckers get it. They're probably just banking on keeping it closed until vaccine is created. That's a good point. What's really stupid is the whole restaurant thing to me. Oh, yeah.

The restaurant thing makes no sense. That shit is so dumb. Like, you can't, you have to wear your mask on your way to your table, but you don't have to wear it when you're on the table. Can I tell you, I went to Brooklyn Shop House this weekend and I went up to where you get

like seated, whatever, and our seats were literally right next to us and they were able to take the mask off. For what? I didn't have to wear

a mask at all then. Because you don't believe in it, do you? You don't believe in it, do you? Tell me, tell me a little bit. Tell me we're all

getting on board. Now that we're starting to go out to restaurants and shit Admit No Al you were at a barbecue Infecting children You were infecting children this weekend

That's what Al does baby Al was just telling me about a bar to go to Kids getting got if Al was around Family I'm just saying Al was just talking about a bar to go to What's more family than your own? It was outdoor bar and it's nice and spacious.

Everybody's social distancing. That shit is so stupid. Hold on. That shit is so stupid. This outdoor indoor thing. Like what is this outdoor indoor thing? That's what you want. Come on.

Come on. Come on. No, in all seriousness, this outdoor indoor thing, like being outside, like the wind magically takes the corona and whips it up to the sky and takes it out of there. If you cough on someone outside, they're going to get corona. You're going to get corona if they cough on you. What's the difference? It's outside or inside.

In this glass screen thing. There's wind. You ever farted inside and farted outside? Yeah, I smell it both ways. No, you don't. Yes, I do. You have a crazy ass fart. You've never been, okay, here's a better one.

You've been walking down the street, haven't you? Yeah. You ever go, oh, someone's smoking weed? Yes, it's a... Da, da, da, da. Come on, it have a crazy ass fortune. You've never been, okay, here's a better one. You've been walking down the street, haven't you? Yeah. You ever go, oh, someone's smoking weed? Yes, it's a, da, da, da, da. Come on, it's a cloud of smoke being blown around them. Fuck, Jay-Z.

What's up? Constantly inhaling and blowing out. Play the ether beat because your point just hit. Fuck, Jay-Z. What's up? I can't say it. So.

I got you. Thanks, Tay-Tay. Go, go, go. Can I ask you a question? Yes. Let's go. So. Admit I bodied that shit, Al.

Okay. Admit I bodied that shit. Follow-up question. Follow-up question. If you're outside and you smell weed, and if you're inside in a closed room where somebody's smoking weed, which one of those gets you high? Ooh. I don't that i don't believe in hot guys let's go hey let's go i got your back yes let's go fuck that one was good yeah i'm not gonna lie yep so it affects you a little bit less outside a little bit less yeah i think a good amount of that because we're gonna

the whole thing demonetetize. I think. Real talk. What is this guy doing? The whole episode demonetized because he played half of the Jay-Z shit. I know the whole song. We didn't actually play the actual song. Welcome to the internet, Mark. What do you mean what?

They can't hear us over us talking. Yes, they can. No. Yes, they can. The powers that be can. They can hear us right now. This whole thing is demonetized because the way I'm talking about Corona

with the truth, the way I'm bringing the truth to the people Corona is being dealt with poorly is that fair to say? oh yeah we haven't handled it perfectly not at all and is it fair to say

that people's entire lives have been destroyed when all said and done they didn't have to be and I'm talking about like their businesses were closed down their businesses

have been completely decimated people's lives have been affected I wouldn't say destroyed there are businesses that will never come back I'm talking about like their businesses were closed down. Their businesses have been completely decimated. People's lives have been affected. I wouldn't say destroyed. There are businesses that will never come back from this. I'm just saying destroyed is a very tough word. You can bounce back. You can recover. This is America at the end of the day.

Can I just say one thing? Yes, you can. I can tell you need to say this. I need to say this real bad. I need to say this real bad. Because we were looking at this shit in New Zealand, the rugby shit. We were looking at this Swedish mall, right, the rugby shit. We were looking at this Swedish mall, right?

Swedish mall is the most effective one. And you look at these people walking around the mall with no mask. They're just walking around the mall regular, right? And Mark goes,

yo, imagine you had a business that got closed down and you'll never be able to reopen it. Like that was your life savings completely done. You got evicted. No more.

Game over. And then you see that shit. Tell me that won't drive you fucking crazy bro tell me that wouldn't drive you here's why here's my pushback on sweden okay go they got a much better infrastructure for health care yeah they can handle the population that they have health care wise it's smaller and there's less people coming in america we didn't have the beds for all these people we got a much bigger population we don't have great healthcare relative to sweden and we got mad motherfuckers coming in and out all the time man that's where i think it might be different you're right bro i hate him when he's right i've been murdering you

you catch your bodies out here let's go catch bro Fucking go What you doing You're my guy Shit No but for real You're right I think The travel aspect is huge Yeah There's a massive amount Of travel in and out Of America

This is You're 100% right And I think another thing Is health You have to admit that Yeah We have the worst health Yeah

Worst health care Bunch of fat fucks Smoking cigarettes Smoking hookah All the time Al thinks he gotta pee You're not gonna pee Nope You're not gonna pee Hey hey Don't go pee bro Morse healthcare. A bunch of fat fucks smoking cigarettes, smoking hookah all the time. Al thinks he gotta pee. You're not gonna pee.

You're not gonna pee. Hey, hey, don't go pee, bro. This is something serious. If you go pee right now, you're disrespecting black women. Taylor was about to talk. Yep.

The most disrespected, the most disrespected woman on the planet. The most disrespected person on the planet. And you just walked right in front of the screens. The most disrespected person on the planet. And you just walked right in front of the screens. The most disrespected person on the planet. Oh, did he give you permission?

Did you give permission? Yo, yo, yo. Did you just grab a black woman and throw you out? Did you grab a black woman? In a pandemic. In a pandemic when you got piss dripping out of your dick? That's disrespectful. Could have got you soaking wet.

Could have got you soaking wet. Had a medium small dick. Bro, I can't believe it. Half hard pee dick. Full of urine. Hashtag T2. Y'all want to make my Taylor too. Sometimes you get half boners.

Do we do some shit to Al's water? Oh, we got to pee in that. We got to piss in that water. Yo, you trying to pour some tequila in here and then not tell him? I mean, that's brilliant. Make him happier? I mean, he would notice pretty quickly, I tell him. I mean, that's brilliant. Make him happier. I mean, he would notice pretty quickly,

I think. He's going to spit this shit out. Maybe put some black label in there. Yeah. He'll taste all of it. Shout to what label? What label? Yeah,

hurry up. And then he won't notice. No, y'all are so mean. You do it. Let's go. Bring it over here. Listen,

everybody listening. Everybody listening and watching. Just remember where he did this. Sorry for this little, are we on the wide hopefully ideally there we go oh that's a lot he's not gonna know this okay there you go you know what i was probably gonna find this uh in the edit but uh he's gonna drink till late he's gonna take a step in he'll know make sure you put it In the exact same place Okay Taylor This was all your idea

The way that As I said This terrorist plot Against a black man Is absolutely disgusting Oh here we go Put his hands Okay hold on

Alright we're gonna Take a break for a second Guys if you got student loans I promise you are Paying too much money Right now interest rates Are at a record low I'm talking about record

So even if you've been Paying a pretty low rate For a couple of years, they can be lower. And that's where earnest comes into play. Yo, refinance your loan, right? Refinance everything, quite frankly. I'm trying to refinance right now. I'm trying to refinance my mortgage. But listen, take advantage of these low interest rates.

A recession is coming. Save money wherever you can. So go to earnest.com slash flagrant. And I promise you, if you have not refinanced in the past two days, they can get you a lower rate than you're paying right now. And you will get a $100 bonus if you go to earnest.com slash flagrant. That is E-A-R-N-E-S-T.com because I'm Indian. I'll spell it for you.

.com slash flagrant. Get an extra $100. Isn't that crazy? You get paid $100 to save money. But you get't that crazy? You get paid $100 to save money. But you get paid $100. You get paid $100 to save money. That's what we're basically offering. Listen, if you got student loans, you probably got them at a time where interest rates were dumb high. You don't have to pay that same shit anymore. Drop them shits down. Take the free $100. Do whatever the fuck you want with it. 100%. I mean, look at this. We might not even be in a

recession. We out here saving people too much money Bro you right Earnest.com Slash flagrant Let's get back to the show Let's do it Actually Let's do some dates First of all Thank you so much

To everybody who came out To the Connecticut Comedy Festival I had a line on Friday Mad ass Hosing the building We had so much fun Outside the building Rather

No It was an indoor Football field Socially distanced Perfect set up Shouts to Emilio He was super happy With everybody that came out

Mad fans Mad Ocotson fans Shout out to New York Comedy Club For absolutely murdering it During Corona Like just doing All these amazing shows They're the guys man

I've been seeing you Headline all these shows They're the guys Yeah man So tell me Where else can people see you man First date And the most important date

October 21st to the 24th I'm in Minneapolis, Minnesota At Acme Comedy Club. Great club. It's a great club. Let's sell that bitch out. It's going to be socially distanced. Nothing to be worried about.

We're going to take care of everybody and it's maybe the best club in America. It's my first time there. I'm super excited to be there. Let's sell that bitch out so we can come back when Corona's over full capacity. Go check out,

do a share at Acme. Great club. You're going to have an amazing time. We've been there. Yeah. We had a lot of fun We're making movies You're gonna have a great time there

Yeah man I just gotta really salute New York Comedy Club man Yeah man They've been killing The New York Comedy Club And shout out to Emilio And really everybody involved there

But their clubs Got shut down in the city And instead of just Waiting around and doing nothing Yep They literally found a way To do comedy During Corona

Unbelievable They are the comedy club Version of kind of What we've been doing yes it's like oh you can't tell jokes in this way we're gonna find another way they've been doing shows outside they've been doing shows in a football indoor football arena whatever they've been doing shows rooftops beautiful sick and only good setups i've seen in corona not in a park where everybody's just fucking yelling at you yeah legit good setups it's shout to new york comedy club you go to their website you can get all the dates and all the shows that are going on definitely check that out as well i'm sure you're going to be popping up in those shows i'll be back he was super happy we're gonna be back check that and also by the way the

comedy seller is doing uh and i'm gonna put this under quotes dinner oh that sounds like a delicious really fun maybe even hilarious maybe even a funny dinner going on there i mean definitely not comedy but probably if you signed up on the waiting list you might get a uh you know a seat at the dinner that has food and maybe other funny things that can't be promoted but they can't promote dinner yeah so comedy seller check that out okay yeah all right let's get back to the show hell yeah oh Here he is. Real talk. That was a quick ass piss, I got to be honest.

Yeah, that's crazy, bro. Taylor has some words for you, man. Oh, what's up? Taylor has some words for you, Al. What's up, Taylor? Talk to me. First of all, she said she didn't like you just grabbing on her like that. It's not the 90s anymore, even if you are wearing a Yankee fit and some Timberlands.

Okay? You really sexually harassed her like your outfit shows. Yep. Yep. Damn. I'm sorry, Taylor. I apologize. Do you accept that apology? Sure.

Taylor, I respect your soul. That didn't sound like a sincere acceptance of your apology. That shit sounded obligatory. I respect Taylor and black women so much. Why don't you hear

what she has to say before you start talking, man? There's a chance I won't smell her chair when she gets up. That shit sounded uncomfortable. I thought that was racist a little bit bro

my obliga yo that's my obliga obliga what obliga who should I tell him to say it with please at the end

say it with please at the end obliga please tiptoe the line Say it with please at the end. Say it with please at the end. Oh, my God, please. Tip to the line. Tip to the line. I have one more comment, though, about this Corona thing. Okay, go.

Because you don't believe in it either, right? You don't think, no. Dab it up. Dab it up. I won't shake your hand because I still believe in it a little bit. You don't think that with these little screens they have, you don't think that's kind of ridiculous either? I love the screens I'll be honest with you Why

I've been dreaming of these screens Nah the screen works I think I don't care if it works or not I don't want to hear The people next to me It's at a certain length Yeah Like the corona can't

Like so Corona doesn't jump Oh Asian It's Asian It probably hangs out on the roof Like in silence But it wouldn't jump

If it was come on guys y'all crazy you didn't imagine a little corona ball at a shingled roof waiting to jump down some white man's nostril that's isn't that japanese though i don't know who's counting bro? they are they're good at that alright in all seriousness to end this corona discussion

I think that people are starting to realize we can go back to somewhat of a normal life we gotta open up these restaurants it doesn't have to be 100% capacity

it could be 50% but I think that we can start to have some normalcy. There is a point at which the cost is not worth it. Explain what you mean by that. There is a point at which the financial- You would find that point. Hey, hey. I've been looking.

I've got a cheap ass- I've been looking, bro. We ain't quite there yet, but I got an eye on it. All right, and what is it? There is a point at which the financial cost of keeping everything shut down outweighs

whatever the death toll is for Corona. Even though it's incredibly high, the financial cost could end up affecting millions of people negatively and cause a lot of deaths in and of itself. So there's a point at which we got to open it up. You got to find that little space in between the extremes. If people are dying from starvation and more people are dying from starvation that die from Corona. And the crime rates go up and all this other shit.

Like there's a wave that happens from that that could be more harmful even than 200,000 deaths. Which is crazy to say, but it does exist. That point exists. Now, this also goes back to earlier conversations we were having where we were wondering when everything opens back up, are people going to get out there? Do you remember this? Until I saw Wheezy WTF's Instagram story. Stop doing it. wondering when everything opens back up are people going to get out there do you remember this until i saw wheezy wtf's instagram story stop doing and mandy what's mandy's uh full court pumps and so i saw full court pumps shouts to both of them having a time of their fucking lives in cancun

i was like nah people are gonna be a little bit hesitant if you see that shit forget it and also a little alcohol a little alcohol was a long way that's what the Cardi B thing proved to me that's what your wedding proved to me so we were in his wedding right

literally we were in there was an outdoor area too nobody went to outdoor area we was you went a little bit but like everybody was partying people were dancing

like people were drinking like not no fist bump yeah handshake hugs nobody corona in Florida what's's florida's rates of

infection care though exactly they're i mean they were high in july but like they've gone down and everything everything's opened up now like desantis opened up the whole state sign it'll people are predicting it will go up in like two three weeks sign i'm sure that it will but people could have it not die though too right like i don't I just don't like that There's no flu Or no cold now It's just corona Nah there's no flu and cold Get your motherfucking shots

You're not talking about it Call your Indian ass doctor Get shots Taylor All I'm saying is That would have been Obligatory That would have been The perfect situation

For corona to be passed That's true That's a fact What we just got lucky The Lord bro That's true Son father ben bro yeah father ben blessed us bro blessed it but that's that's what i feel like with the cardi b thing though is like you see all these people partying and immediately i'm like oh yeah like as soon as

this is open like everyone's gonna be out everyone's gonna be open like even in orlando back home like there's people i've seen like snapchat stories where people are like going out to clubs fully capacity like going for it so i'm like out now once it's open it's gonna be open yeah that's the thing once it's open it's gonna be open and i think if you add alcohol to the scenario what do they call alcohol liquid courage once you get a little alcohol in your system you brave you ready to get out there prophylactic than a motherfucker prophylactic i just feel more comfortable in outdoor settings instead of inside huh me personally i just feel better right now alex instead of inside. Huh? Me personally, I just feel better in the outdoor setting.

I'm with you. I'm with you right now, Alex. Yeah, and I'm mad far from you. But you're not far from her? Why? Because she's a black woman? Are you far from her? Are you afraid of her?

I respect her. I'm not going to disrespect her by her having to smell me right now. You just hugged me. So how are you going to say hey? Oh, shit. That's disrespect. This is too much disrespect.

Everybody need to calm the fuck down. Okay. Everybody need to calm the fuck down. What are to calm the fuck down What are we talking about next Al Can we bring us back to the notes Thank you very much This is something That I have to bring up

And then we can talk about it Very briefly But I have to bring this up Because it drove me fucking crazy Okay This drove me crazy Akash I know I can tell

I can already tell You wound up boy I'm wound the fuck up, okay? I thought that there's a very organic, symbiotic relationship between IG thoughts and me. Okay? Right? What's that relationship? The relationship is you thought it up and I objectify.

That seems like it's not just a relationship with you. It seems like it's the relationship. The relationship, right? Yeah. I'm a great, strong, faithful man. Correct. I look at a couple of these thoughts. But you don't search for them.

They just pop up. They pop up. I also follow sometimes. I don't follow anything new. It's pop up. They pop up. I also follow sometimes. I don't follow anything new. It's been grandfathered in. Yeah. Okay. And honestly, some of them, they get sent to the wayside.

I've unfollowed. Yep. You know what I mean? I only keep the top shelf. I was looking at it for my relationship. Like creme de la creme, you know? I would never disrespect my girl by following new. Following new is crazy.

That's crazy. But if I carried it in, you knew this about would never disrespect my girl by following new. Following new is crazy. That's crazy. But if I carried it in, you knew this about me. Then it's like a friendship almost. Except we've been together for years. Yeah, exactly. I've been following

these girls and their swimwear brands they're trying to get off the ground for years. Yeah. Okay? Every IG thot got a swimwear brand mark.

Yeah. They would be so upset to lose you as a follower. They would be upset to lose me as a follower, right? Because i thought the relationship was you slutted up i objectify the sluttiness ladies listening right now tell me if i'm off taylor listen to me right now tell me if i'm off there's girls they're literally posting the most salacious sexualized pictures you could possibly imagine okay okay i observe because they are salacious and sexual.

Okay. That's fair. That's fair. Everybody's happy. Happy. Maybe the occasional double tap to raise their self-esteem, which is clearly low. I would never do such a thing, but if I do, because I'm trembling as I'm looking at it, it might happen.

That's a terrifying second, bro. When you double tap by accident, you know when you're looking first thing in the morning, your fingers haven't woke up yet? And you're just scrolling through, you're like, uh-oh. Untap before your girl wake up. Your thumbs are mad horny.

The thumbs are sick. What are you guys doing? You trying to ruin my relationship? She's right here. Okay. This is the problem I have. Yeah. When the IG thoughts can't accept their role in the ecosystem, you monetize the thoughtiness.

I'm okay if you embrace that. Right. Horrible decisions. Embraces it. It's beautiful. It's happy. It's great. They own the word whore correct i'm following

these thoughts that i thought were on the same page okay i thought they were in this i thought they understood you are objectifying yourself and i will objectify you in return as you wish right i see a post today from one of them the post says stop this is almost quote shit you know they love to leave them quotes they love these quotes it goes stop sexualizing the naked female wait for it stop sexualizing the naked female the female body is art to me showing off my body is not about being sexy. It's about being and feeling beautiful. There is so much aesthetic with the female frame. I'm obsessed with that. Sometimes it's abstract art and beauty. I believe in being confident in every form.

The very next slide is swipe up for my only fans. You fucking fraud. you fucking fraud Taylor tell me if I'm wrong why can't she accept it it's like a fish that's trying to walk on land

why is she so she thinks sexy and beautiful is two different things obviously she doesn't want to be a whore but she is

no no no you're saying she's a whore because of the pictures no no no but I don't know how many guys she fucks I can't say she's a whore but that's what I You're saying she's a whore because of the pictures? No, no, no, no. But I don't know how many guys she fucks. I can't say she's a whore. But that's what I'm saying. She's a sex worker.

She's a sex worker. You are a sex worker. You are selling sex for money, right? Yes. Is it sex? Yes, it's sex. Why is it sex? Maybe the penis is not going in.

Exactly. You can't say Only Nudes is for sex workers, and then when someone's on Only Nudes selling nudes and be like, that's not a sex worker. Only fans. Yeah, I'm sorry. Only fans. You're adorable, son.

You sound like a Christian pastor. What did I say wrong? Ladies and gentlemen. It's called Only Nudes. Not only quotes. What did I say? I said Only Fans? No, you said Only Nudes.

Son, that's all it is, right? It's OnlyNudes Okay Who's on OnlyFans selling music? Make the point Everybody says OnlyFans is for sex workers It's a safe space for sex workers And then when somebody tries to go

That's not a sex worker They're like, whoa, what are you doing? You're fucking up the space for sex workers Then if a bitch is selling nudes On OnlyFans How's she not a sex worker? You are a sex worker And I'm okay with you being a sex worker.

I'm okay with you objectifying yourself. I'm okay. Not only am I okay with it. I love it. I love to take part in that relationship. This is beautiful. You're the flower. I'm the bee.

I got to pollinate you. Isn't that what they do? I'm not going to really do it. Of course not. You know what I mean? But back in the day. Back in the day. You know what I'm not going to really do it. Of course not. You know what I mean? But back in the day. Back in the day. You know what I'm saying?

It's allergy season. That's it, bitch. Trying to get some pollen in your nose, bitch. God bless you. Yes, he did. Some people getting corona out here. So my point is I'm so upset with the fraudulence that it's art it's art first of all let's talk about art art is an object to be objectified oh shit if you are what do art what do we do with

art we look at that shit and judge it and objectify it you You are calling yourself art. You're calling yourself a fucking object. You acting like art is better? I don't beat my dick to art. Jackson Polak looked like he beat his dick on his art. That helps. Maybe that's her point. Real talk. Maybe that's her point.

I just think it's absurd and it drives me crazy. And it's this shit where like you think you're above the thoughts you think you're one step above a thought because it's art no you're not you are one of and that is fine

and accept it and love it if somebody wants to tell me oh yeah you just tell dick jokes yes sir I do love it happy to do it you're not going to tell me oh yeah you just tell dick jokes yes sir i do love it happy to do it hey you're not gonna find me all i do is intellectual social commentary fuck you suck my dick it might be part of it but i'm a thought for this comedy baby laugh thoughts yo we laugh does it drive you crazy when you see that you're're a hardworking woman with a real fucking job.

This ain't real, but it's close. You got other real jobs, though. You got other real jobs, and you see these girls trying to call themselves artists. That would bother me. You got a think pad. You think them bitches got a think pad? For work?

Yo, please put that in rock. Please put that in rock. You think them bitches got a think pad? They might got a maxi pad. that bitch has got a pink bag they might got a maxi pad they ain't got a thick pad no but i mean so she has a sexy new picture up yo i'm trying to understand what the news are great she has a post that's just words like don't objectify me but i'm an artist the female body is art that's why i love it it makes me feel empowered i mean then the post before that is literally the post after it after it after

swipe up for my only fans that's dumb that's bullshit that's what we're saying come on but it's the same thing for instance if i was to put up a picture of me in a bikini i know the fuck i'm doing exactly that's all we're saying I'm doing. Exactly. That's all he's saying. You know what I'm saying? That's all he's saying. Like, it's another thing if like, it's just a portrait picture of me

and then they say something objective. Yeah. I don't like that shit. Like if I'm in sweatpants and you see that shit, that girth. You showing the corn, the corn cob?

You know what I'm saying? Yeah. If it's time to harvest. Yeah, you got the cornucopia. If the cornucopia is popping. Yeah. You know, if you throw that shit in a microwave and you hear a pop, pop, pop 30 seconds later.

Where's Orville Redenbacher? Yeah. Where's Orville? Yeah, put some butter on it. You got some salt and butter? Yeah. Because this movie's about to get started. Yeah.

I know what I'm doing. Hey. I'm photoshopping because I ain't got it like that. Let's be honest here. Let's be honest here. Let's be honest. Dick all out in sweatpants. Who are you? Yo, Nathan McIntosh

put up a picture and somebody sent it to his group thread and my man's dick is hanging low. Let me see Nate's dick. Let me see that ginger dick. I'll put a picture of his face

at the end of the print. Let me see that. Man, that's shadow, bro. That ain't Nate's dick Nah He's a haters Nah That ain't Nate's dick That ain't his dick

Yo he giving white men A good name yo Nah Cause Nate's the whitest man Yeah but that's a That's a long dick bro That's coming damn near Down to his knee

Yo Al You think that's real That's not his dick That's light bro That's light Yeah that's That's a dick That's not his dick

First of all First of all I don't want the woman here. Can I be a gentleman? Yo, hold on. I don't want you sliding off your fucking seat if you look at this dick, bro. That's definitely a dick. Yo, Mark just said no to the dick.

Mark said no. Mark said no. What's wrong, Mark? I got to type with this computer in my lab. You know what I mean? I can't get off. You know what that should be? Come on, dude.

I got to have a fucking trebuchet in this goddamn studio. What do you think? He takes one look at the computer and flies to the ceiling like some Adam Sandler movie. Just lifts up his chin. Type it like that. There it is.

Relax yourself. You need to chill out. That's his dangle. What's the verdict? Pass the aux cord or what? What's the verdict? It still looks small thank you I was thinking

the same thing Taylor bro yo I hey listen Taylor's boyfriend God bless you man you ruined this woman bro

you ruined this woman bro I'm telling you because she you're gonna have to marry this guy Taylor cause you're gonna be disappointed I know

golly I mean her expectations for size are crazy. Are you talking about me? My dick is so big, Andrew thinks it's fake. I know it's fake. That's not a real dick. That can't be a real dick. It looks fat, though. Ha ha ha ha.

Taylor is a wild girl, yo. That dick could die from Corona, yo. Oh my God. Yo, Taylor. That dick could die from Corona, really. Look at that dick. They got the Chris Christie cock. Look at my cheekbones. Oh my God.

Oh my God, that's so good. That dick been eating Krispy Kremes, hot damn it. Look at that high fructose corn syrup. Oh, God. Oh, I'm seeing stars a little, bro. You know when you laugh hard and you see the stars a little bit? I'm literally seeing stars a little bit. Oh, my God.

Oh, man. That dick knocked you out, bro. That dick gonna knock me out, man. Nate McIntosh, bro. He got the hammer, bro. He got the hammer. Yo, what is his Instagram? We got to shout him out. Nathan McIntosh, I think. got the hammer, bro. He got the hammer. Yo, what is his Instagram? We got to shout him out.

Nathan McIntosh, I think. My bad, Nathan. Oops. Is it just Nathan McIntosh? Nathan McIntosh. All right. Take a look at that. That's not like a fake name. Yo, Nathan McIntosh.

Go check out his dick. And if that- Let's put something real on it. What is it? What should they put on it if they think it's real? Oh. If they think it's real, put like a 100. should they put on it If they think it's real Oh If they think it's real Put like a 100 And if they think it's fake

Put the crying eyes emoji What would you put for fake dick length I gotta look at the emojis Taylor we're live right now Too bad it ain't on me emoji On that bitch Oh shit Alright if it's real

Put that 100 Or if it's not real Do that little emoji Oh that skeptical Oh shit Alright if it's real Put that hundred Or if it's not real Do that little emoji Oh Oh that skeptical Oh yeah the skeptical face Skeptical face If you think it ain't real

But if you think it's all dick Then I want you to put that What was the one I forgot already Just say it looks The hundred The hundred I'm still blacked out bro

Yo I was literally seeing stars bro I was seeing stars dude Yo just looking at that dick you lost blood flow to your head I did went all to my Was that a fart? Yeah it was a fart Cutie patootie

Cutie patootie I got you All this mad emoji one All right so What'd she say You could do like Peanuts and shrimp And stuff like that For if it's

Yo Taylor Blackass Got excited by shrimp emojis Yeah she thought We were at the boil again We had red lobsters They got the biscuits They got popcorn shrimp Fried shrimp

Salted shrimp Popcorn shrimp Yo at that part Of Forrest Gump Where you just Sitting there like Popcorn shrimp, fried shrimp, sauteed shrimp, popcorn shrimp. Yo, at that part of Forrest Gump where you're just sitting there like... Laptop flies off. Alright guys, yo, we got some good news. Okay, this is very important to announce.

You know, I told y'all last week that we were hiring over here at Schultz Studios and uh we announced a a competition for our next uh social media director maybe we'll call it social media art director social media maven social media maven we gotta find a fancy name for it fuck titles you know you're just part of the squad that's where it is everybody got a million different roles and um we literally got hundreds of submissions. It took us two days to look through all these submissions.

A lot. And honestly, impressive how bad some of them were, but also impressive how good some of them were. I mean, like a lot of them, very good, very unique. People went for different stuff. They tried to, they flexed their different skills. We even got like an animated one. It was so cool.

It's not exactly what we're looking for, but I almost want to shout the person out that did that specifically. I forget their name, but you know who you are. And it was brilliant usage of, it wasn't exactly animation, but basically like images, that static images that with subtitling

seemed almost like animation. And it was really cool but uh not exactly what we're looking for but very very cool so many of these were amazing so many of them were awesome i was trying to joke around and say how bad they were i thought i was gonna get a laugh i got nothing they were very very good i was absolutely impressed we got hundreds of them we whittled them okay we have 10 all right 10 holding it like this taylor 10 you gotta spread the hands out more for taylor yeah you're right my bad no we have 10 names okay we're gonna put all the names in the description below if you're watching this on the video it's just down there right there you 10 we are gonna upload this episode that you're watching right now.

The way that we have to will you guys down is you're going to have to make another clip. Now, let's be very clear about this. This is not so we can like get you guys to do clips for us or whatever the fuck it is. We haven't even really been sharing these or posting these clips. We'll put them on the story just because we think you're amazing, but we haven't even put all the clips up that you guys have posted. This is really the only way that we can do this job search. Okay. This is your callback interview. You 10 are the chosen ones. The link is down there just like it was last time.

Have at it. Flex. Do not play it safe. Go for it. Have fun. We know what we're looking for. We're experts at this. It will shine through.

Create, create, create. Have the best fucking time with it make sure that you send it to us i honestly the easiest way to do it is kind of like tagging us in it would you guys think that is yeah we're like posting it as and having us tag in the post so it doesn't go anywhere this is just for the 10 listed in the description yeah just for the 10 list in the subscription thank you to everybody that contributed honestly there's like some sick graphic designers which is we need someone who can do all of it. But just the graphic design was fucking awesome. I mean, like, I would love to do a whole different episode where we can kind of like parse through

them. But it's really cool to know that this make talented people that are part of it. And honestly, as this team grows, we'd really love to keep tabs on you guys and make sure that you keep tabs on us, especially with the new things that you're doing. Like, let us know what's going on, because more positions could open up. Right now, look at you, both of you or all of you. I don't know why I said both, but 10 of you, go look in the description. If you see your name in there, cook us up another clip. Remember, under one minute, you know all the specifications.

You obviously did something well. Trust your gut. Go out there, cook it up. Next week, we're going to make our decision. Oh, well, while we're at it, while we're taking this little break, I think it's time to pay some bills y'all guys we just keep saving you money it's crazy that's all we want to do yo because we love the assholes we love the army and in a time of pandemic and recession we got to find ways to save you money that's right and another way is policy genius let's face it insurance typically fucks you at every turn however we found a way to save

you money on insurance and that that is with Policy Genius. Without doing shit, man. It's literally the easiest way. Just go put in all the different things that you have. They're going to find the perfect program for you, and you're going to save, what is it, on average, like $1,200 or something like that? I think $1,200 a year. We might need to scroll down to see the exact amount, but it gives you different options. You can compare, see what's best for you.

They don't just give you one and blindly make you sign it so you don't know what you're getting. They give you options, let you choose the one that's best for you. It's like Expedia for insurance. It uses all the different insurance platforms that are out there and cross-checks to make sure that you're getting the absolute best rate. It just guarantees you the best rate. You're going to save on average, I think it's $1,127 a year with Policy Genius. It's a no-brainer you can combine policies group policies so that you can get better rates i mean this is what we all should be doing you know like um it's it's no different than like what's going to happen with streaming sites it's no

different than obviously what happened with air travel what happened with hotels what happened with car rentals what happened with everything is in order to get the best price you will have all these different companies compete on the same platform so you can see what's out out there. Back in the day, you just went to the first person that you tried to sign up for insurance for and whatever quote they gave you, you're like, all right, I guess I'll pay that. I guess that's what it is. That's what it is. I'm not calling 100 different people to figure out the best rate. So much time. Nah, these guys will filter it for you. Filter for you. Policygenius.com, they do the work for you. Go to policygenius.com,

save an average of $1,127 a year. Guys, get insurance, right? Get insurance. Now let's get back to the1,127 a year. Guys, get insurance, right? Get insurance. Now let's get back to the show. Let's keep talking. Let's talk about the Lakers, man. Let's just do it. Y'all want to do it? Al, you want to do your little outfit change for this conversation?

Nah, I'm cold. Come on, Al. Al brought the jersey out and everything. Nah, I'm cold. Come on, Al. He didn't say I'm cool. He said I'm cold. I'm cold.

Keep talking. Okay, so look. The Lakers won, bro. The Lakers won. Dominating dominating fashion game six was dominating game five jimmy butler did his thing again oh beautiful and then game six the lakers were just not having it braun not having it braun not having it braun said i'm locking up jimmy the whole game yep they did their fucking thing um after lebron and lakers win, LeBron is being interviewed by Rachel Nichols or whoever it is.

And he says, I want my respect. I want my damn respect. I want my damn respect too. Yeah, but he really just said respect everybody else so he could get through.

Just so he could say that. Anybody give a fuck about respect then? Rob Palenka. Rob Palenka. Get the fuck out of here. Not Rob Lowe. That's all you are to me

is not Rob Lowe. It's not Rob Lowe, dude. Get the fuck out of here. Not Rob Lowe. That's all you are to me is not Rob Lowe. Fuck out of here. Nobody respect you. LeBron want his damn respect. Now, why do you think he said that? I think he wants to be the GOAT. I don't think he's there yet. He's not. Do you believe that he believes he is? I do. And then

how is he justifying that to himself? So, in other words, you're LeBron James. You believe you're the GOAT. You don't have six rings. How are you justifying that to himself? So in other words, you're LeBron James. You believe you're the GOAT. You don't have six rings. How are you justifying you're better than Jordan with what you've done? I think you always, whatever you do, you have to believe you are a little better than you really are. Whatever you do.

What do you think he's doing? I think I came back. I never had Phil Jackson as a coach. I never had a great coach. Gotcha. I don't even know if he's ever had a good coach. Spolstra early in his career, but Spolstra wasn't what he is now. Yeah.

Then he thinks I never had Scotty Pippen. I had some good teammates, but now I finally got my Pippen. Dwayne Wade was really good that first year. Then when we finally won the championship starting then, he would get hurt every playoffs. Okay. I think he thinks I was around inept-ass Cleveland for years where the organization fucks up everything.

And I came back against arguably the greatest team ever, 73 and nine, 3-1 Devils. Is it fair to say your argument is he thinks he did more with less? Yes,

well said. Okay. You cut that down way better than I did. I did what you usually do. Oh, no, no doubt.

Oh, sick, dude. Synergy. So, it's humbling, isn't it? I hate it when you do that shit to me,

even though I love, like, I'll be saying the longest rant and you're just like, yeah, A plus B is C. Did I just do math with letters? I killed it too.

And then he was like more with less. I was like, fine. He did more with less. So your point is more with less, which I think is a great argument. I think there's also something to be said with him doing with three different organizations. I think people sleep on that. Every new organization you go to, you got to build a new team. Granted, the Bulls built two teams technically, right?

Right. But it's the same organization and the same key players. LeBron had to go do this again in Cleveland, build the whole team around him again with the Lakers. Yeah. We could say it's easy because you're LeBron, everybody wants to play with you, but it's not that easy.

Getting everybody to have the same chemistry, establishing the culture, getting a coach that's going to run the culture that you want to have there. It's not like the Lakers have culture. No. Right? LA doesn't have culture.

LA doesn't have culture, right? The Lakers were Kobe, and then when Kobe left, there was just a giant void to be filled, right? So I think that's a really interesting argument. The Lakers were Kobe, and then when Kobe left, there was just a giant void to be filled. Right? Yeah. So I think that's a really interesting argument. And I think that he, and especially with the 3-1 shit, he might go, no, I don't think Jordan could do that. And I would agree because I don't think Jordan would let himself go down 3-1.

Right. But that being said, there is a solid argument for his goat ship, if you will. I don't think he's there no i think he's actually two more rings away yeah in my opinion i think in order to be spoken about with jordan you need the six but i think as far as our generation goes he's number two and it's not close yeah i think there used to be close number twos for our generation we didn't see wilt yeah we didn't see bill russell right we didn't see those motherfuckers but we didn't see kareem no we didn't even see magic really didn't see magic or bird really or bird yeah but we saw kobe we saw jordan and we saw lebr. And I think that we can all unanimously say number two is LeBron.

Yeah. And if that wasn't solidified before within our generation, again, not the old heads within our generation, I think this solidifies it. Do you think so? Yeah. And I think if you have to go public and say,

give me my respect, that makes you number two. Jordan never had to tell anybody. It was given. That is true. It was earned like he was crowned the best. That is true. So you got to go out there and tell motherfuckers then.

You're not it. But you know what's interesting, Al, is that Jordan was equally upset at the disrespect of not getting MVP that final year. Remember they gave it to Karl Malone? Yeah. Was it his fifth championship or his sixth?

Fifth, I think. Sixth, he also didn't get it, I think. Yeah, so he got like five MVPs total or something like that and six championships. But he was upset

that Karl Malone got it and not him. Yep, as he should have been. As he should have been. Of course, just like LeBron this year was upset that Giannis got it.

Oh, I think it was his sixth. I think they kept talking about it in the last dance, like oh, he was pissed. So they both have that chip, but Jordan goes about it differently. LeBron probably has that chip because he knows that there are more things that can be criticized.

Jordan has left very few things to criticize, right? Jordan's like, yo, anytime I go to the dance, I win that bitch. LeBron has gone to the dance and not won, so he knows there's always going to be something to be said about him, even though he went more times than Jordan. Yes. 10 trips to the finals is crazy. Yo, what's his face said it best? I forget exactly. Oh, Jimmy Butler said it best. He goes, if you want to go to the NBA championship, the road is going to lead through or to a lebron james team yeah he's the first player in nba history to win three finals mvps with or three

finals mvps with three different teams yeah we all thought it was going to be kawaii this year and we all just kind of counted out lebron i did i thought they have no depth behind him in ad and i think when la went out and also when Milwaukee went out, it was just like, that's it, it's done. It's done. How many years, and I want to talk a lot about Jimmy Butler because he just had this amazing bubble, but like,

let's talk about how many more years of championship LeBron we have. LeBron put the team on his back. Yeah. Like, don't get me wrong, AD played exceptionally. AD was huge. Defensively huge.

Defensively huge, especially his paint presence, massive. But LeBron locking up Jimmy Butler and just saying, game six, it's over. Yo, let's not forget, game five? LeBron played his ass off. LeBron was like, we going home. Yeah. And he passed up the shot to Danny Green, which is what LeBron always does.

I knew before, during the timeout, I said, LeBron is going to get doubled, pass out, the guy's going to miss the shot, whoever he passes to. Because LeBron will always make the right basketball play. And sometimes the right basketball play is the wrong game ending play because you want that shot taken by the best player. But the right basketball play is to pass that off to the guy that you literally signed to be your wide open three-point shooter. His only reason for being on the Lakers is to knock down open threes and play defense. He's a good defender as well.

I feel like LeBron is, yeah, I think it's number two. I think it's number two. If LeBron didn't go off game five and game six he might not have even got the mvp because ad had a better stat line for the first three games i wonder if that's a little motivation so braun going off game five game six won him the mvp because stat line wise he wouldn't have had it so how long do we have left for peak championship lebron that's where we were. Truthfully, he's abnormal. His fucking body is crazy. He can keep going.

I can see three, maybe four strong more years. You're a wild boy for that. Son, his body's crazy. His body's crazy, son. Here's the difference. I think there will be at least one year where he's not quite peak LeBron, but we don't notice because AD's still going to keep getting better. And I think that will carry LeBron a little bit. I'm with Akash on this. I think you

got one more year of LeBron can carry the team. And then I think you have two more years after that of LeBron being a number two or three option. So he can play this point forward position, but the game is really flowing through AD, kind of similar to how the Heat were, where there were times where Dwayne Wade was the number one on that team. Yeah, that first year in particular. But I think that's why that didn't work out the first year. And then Dwayne Wade went to him and was like, you got to be the guy. Right. I think AD is good enough where he can be that. And I think LeBron is actually, right i think ad is good enough where he can be that yeah i think lebron is actually his natural position is to defer yeah like he takes on the offensive load because he has to but if it was

up to him i think that he would slash and dish and really get other people involved and i think if he's gonna get two more rings it's one with him leading and then there's another one with someone else leading, maybe AD. And I think he's situated perfectly to do it because AD could still continue to blossom. And I think AD likes LeBron as like a mentor. I think that's what they were talking about in the postgame. He's helped AD get to another level. Yeah, 100%. Yes, my dear.

You don't think that him playing in the bubble this year did any difference to him winning the championship? So I want to talk about that real quick with the bubble. That's a really good point. People say that there's an asterisk on the bubble championship. Some people say. No player says that. Players think that this one is harder. Yeah.

Because there's nothing that you could say that gives you an advantage. Like if you have home court advantage, you would have amazing home court. It's really hard to play there. You could go, well, yeah, we don't have home court advantage. So game seven was in Golden State. to play there you could go well yeah we don't have home court advantage so game seven was in golden state and of course we're gonna lose in golden state nobody has home court advantage yeah everybody's rested this is as fair as it could possibly be everybody's eating the same food nobody's getting poisoned by some random restaurant like sending pizzas to jordan's place literally everybody had the exact same uh what is it called um like pre-game this is as level

as a playing field you can ever get yeah 100 level playing field you might never experience this again unless they do another bubble so to say that this is in some you know way shape or form unfair is completely bullshit it is the most fair it's ever been this is the most like jordan i think he's ever been because i think there's the only people who could win the championship in this bubble is that type of killer. Jordan, Kobe, LeBron. I would have said Kawhi, but I think the Clippers around him couldn't do it. But it is fuck everything.

I am completely focused on winning a championship. I don't care how crazy the world is around me. This is the goal and we're all coming. I don't give a fuck. We're all getting there. And that's kind of what LeBron did focus wise, I thought. He was like, hey, guys, this is where we're going. Fuck everything. We're having a season. He was always a guy that's like, what LeBron did focus wise I thought he was like hey guys this is where we're going fuck everything we're having a season he was always a guy that's like we're having a season Patrick Beverly said LeBron wants to play so we're gonna play that's what Jordan would have done

that's what Kobe would have done the killers of the killers are coming out of this pandemic yeah he did look like a killer man he looked like it in game five when they lost and he looked like it in game six when it was like when he was locking up Jimmy the whole fucking time. Yeah, it is. I don't think you can put an asterisk on it at all. Can I ask you a question? I think maybe not an asterisk, but something has to go. Like, you have to just acknowledge that was the bubble season.

Yeah. Because it's just different. Like, they had a rest throughout the midseason. Like, maybe his body wouldn't have held up had they not had that big rest. So it does change something. It does. Yeah, you're right. We all got to adjust to everything. And I think he adjusted the best.

And that's a testament to him. I think what I was just saying is like, you can acknowledge that there are different variables here and then a regular season. So maybe the asterisk doesn't mean it was easier, but you got to put the asterisk. Yeah, exactly. Fair enough.

Yeah. Fair enough. It was a level playing field, you're saying, but just different. Yeah. Yeah. I'm with you on that. Let me ask you a game five question.

Go. LeBron does this, and maybe I'm biased for sure. It's quite possible.'m with you on that. Let me ask you a game five question. Go. LeBron does this, and maybe I'm biased for sure. It's quite possible. LeBron always passes out at the end of a game. In my mind, that almost never works out.

I can think of Jordan passing it out, maybe because we're always shocked when he does it, and Steve Kerr knocking it down, John Paxson knocking it down. Yep. In my mind,

every time I think of LeBron drawing the double and passing it out at the end of the game, the guy misses. The closest it came, I think, was George Hill

against Golden State in game one where he got fouled and then missed one of the free throws the end of the game, the guy misses. The closest it came, I think, was George Hill against Golden State in game one where he got fouled and then missed one of the free throws to tie up the game. What about with Kyrie for the game winner? Kyrie, I think, just dribbled it up, right? No, I think he got it on the wing. Maybe. Maybe. But Braun had no choice because if he tries to force up a shot

with a double team and you have a wide open Danny Green and then if Braun misses, everybody's saying you're an idiot because you have a wide open Danny Green. Yeah. So it was like he was between a rock and a hard place. He made the right choice.

He made the right basketball move. And he bailed Danny Green out by winning game six. And that would be complete forgot. Like nobody's even talking about. Yeah, 100%. All right, let's talk about another star being born in the bubble. Somebody maybe rising to the expectations we always had of them. That's Jimmy Butler, right?

Obviously, Jimmy Butler has this amazing bubble. And then conversations start to happen, at least amongst my peer group, and I brought them over to Twitter, where it's like, where does Jimmy Butler actually lie in the NBA rankings? Right. I don't think people would have put Jimmy Butler in the top 20 before the bubble. You're probably right. If we're being honest with ourselves. Right. Yeah. And I think Jimmy has easily entered the top 10. Easy top 10. Easy top 10. Now I want to do a couple of comparisons here. Jimmy, you have to make the decision. Jimmy or Kawhi, who do you go with? Kawhi.

Kawhi. Now, here's the question. I think you're right. But a massive flaw in Kawhi's game was exposed during the playoffs. Yes. And that is, at this point so far, he is completely inept in terms of his ability to lead players.

Right. He's been very fortunate and privileged to only play for quality organizations that have amazing culture and they do all the coaching for him.

Mm-hmm. Okay? The Spurs, make sure everybody stays in line. The Raptors, make sure everybody stays in line. You don't have to do anything but go out there and ball

and everything else is taken care of. he goes to the clippers which has no culture zero organization and a whole bunch of knuckleheads yeah he doesn't have the leadership ability to carry that team through the playoffs and get everybody on the same side he didn't have enough leadership to stop lou williams from going to get chicken wings at a strip club. Yeah. Right? Like, let's really call it what it is. He's an amazing player, but I don't think he's a leader yet. No.

And if I had to go to war, who am I taking? It's Jimmy Butler. Yeah. I don't know if there's a player in the NBA if I got to go to war that I'd take over Jimmy Butler. That motherfucker got a heart. Is Kawhi more skilled? Yeah. But if I need someone

to lead my team, if I got to build a team around somebody, even though Jimmy's less skilled, I don't know if you're getting, if you have Kawhi on that team, you're not getting those performances from Duncan Robinson. You're not getting those performances from Tyler Hero. He's not instilling the confidence in those two young players, those two rooks, that Jimmy Butler did. You and Pop probably bam. Even bam. He's just going to go sit in the corner,

mumble shit to himself, and laugh goofy, and those other players are going to be like, well, does he like me? Does he not like me? Jimmy Butler is putting the battery in those young bucks' backs. He's making them play to the best of their ability.

Go. Pushback. Jimmy Butler plays for a great organization. It's funny. I love this argument. those young bucks backs he's making them play to the best of their ability go push back jimmy butler plays for a great organization i love this i love this argument it's funny that miami is completely culturalist as a city and then you got the most disciplined fucking team in miami right outside of miami has culture is just not american yeah well i mean like tons of culture yeah i just mean in terms of like uh sure whatever yeah my point i think you get like those cultures the superficial part of miami the plastic surgery part of Miami. That's what I was talking about.

Yes, yes, yes. But then you got Jimmy Butler, who fits right into the Miami culture, where they say, if you don't love basketball, you're going to hate basketball, playing for Miami. When he was on teams that didn't have good cultures, those teams fell the fuck apart. I mean, Philly kind of, but they did pretty much what Kawhi did this year. They don't have any culture. Minnesota couldn't, I mean, he couldn't get those guys to love basketball and buy in. Cats are pussy, scared.

They're all scared. Wiggins is scared. They're both kind of similar in that if they're with good cultures, they're going to shine. Yep. And if they're not, they're not. That's the best hole in my argument. Best hole, without a doubt. Yeah, I think the culture plays in way more than we realize, too, what a team is.

And it also maybe justifies LeBron leaving Cleveland twice, because their culture sucks culture sucks i agree with you 100 um the only thing that i would say is that jimmy's ability to get those younger players to instill confidence in those i couldn't do that i don't think why i could if you love basketball and you are and jimmy butler i think looks at you and goes that kid fucking works yeah i'm gonna gas him up he he dies for this i'll i'll kill for him yeah i don't think kawaii would do that i think i think to be honest the heat are better the heat are better with jimmy butler over kawaii but the raptors last season yeah would be better with kawaii over jimmy right you see what i'm saying yeah like overall skill wise like if we had to mb

nba 2k if we had to nba 2k if we had to NBA 2K a player, Kawhi's going to be better. There's no question. But within certain teams, I'd probably take Jimmy over Kawhi. And now there's Kawhi over Jimmy. Okay. I think that's fine.

I think that's a reasonable slice. Here's where shit gets interesting. Harden or Jimmy? Who's a better basketball player? Harden. Who do I want on my team? Jimmy. Kind of. Al? It depends do I want on my team, Jimmy? Kind of. Al?

It depends who else is on my team. Because if you don't have any other scorers, I'm taking Harden. Because Harden's going to get you buckets. I don't think I care. I think I take Harden. And I'm biased against Harden. You need to get buckets to win. So it's like, Jimmy got as far as he did because the role players came through.

But who got those role players to come through? Granted, but I'm saying- Tyler Hero's like a 14th pick in the draft. Bam Adebayo's like a 14th pick in the draft. Duncan Robinson, undrafted. Yeah, so I'm just saying if those role players didn't come through, their team would have been trash. Harden could at least get you pretty far just off of Harden.

I think our point is Jimmy Butler elevates those role players games. I don't think Harden does anything to help your team outside of scoring. And Jimmy will do all the intangibles. I will say. So for me, it's Jimmy over Harden without a question. There's no doubt that Harden's game is better offensively. But what Jimmy brings to the floor, both defensively and in terms of like helping out all the other players, I think I go with him. You want to know the scariest backcourt or midcourt, whatever the fuck you want to call it,

in basketball, if you have Kawhi and Jimmy on the same team. If Paul George wasn't on the Clippers, Jimmy was, forget it. Jimmy runs the culture. Jimmy will defer. That guy just wants to win. He doesn't care if he scores 30 or 18. He just wants to win. And Kawhi is just going out there and assassin. They don't even need to talk to each other. Jimmy will respect Kawhi because he balls and Kawhi will respect Jimmy because Jimmy's a real one. You put those two together? That's a problem. That's crazy. I was going to say, I'd love to see LeBron with like a Jimmy, but he already got AD. I don't know if Jimmy could handle LeBron. I think Jimmy has a problem with ego. I can also see. And I think that's why when he was on Minnesota, he saw Cat had some ego. He's like, yo, you're a little bitch. Yeah. But LeBron is

so clearly superior to Jimmy. I think he would have to give it up. Fair enough. LeBron has that about him, right? And even Kyrie, who's like the most fucking egomaniacal person in the world, had to submit to LeBron's. and we might be victims of the moment because i think last year you put up butler and harden you're not going with but you're so right this is recency bias and that's the fun thing about sports is that like you get to be caught up in a moment yeah yeah like that let's do it let's get caught up in the fucking moment he had a great series i just think it's really cool to see someone who is always a fan favorite someone who you know loved the fucking game

start to get his flowers a little bit. So I hope they do something next season. I hope they get a pick or they can swing a trade because... Yo, they got Caprum

in two years, the honest year, for Jimmy and I think two more Max guys. And you still got Hero, you still got Gordon, what's his name, Duncan Robinson.

Bam, you can re-sign. It's going to be interesting, especially, I think it might be one, but it also could be two. That'd be a fucking squad. Yeah, it's his name? Duncan Robinson. Bam, you can re-sign. It's going to be interesting, especially, I think it might be one, but it also could be two. That'd be a fucking squad. Yeah. I just want to give some love to Rondo, because Rondo played his ass off. He played his

ass off. And he's another guy, and that's a testament to LeBron. Nobody could ever control Rondo. Doc, Rivers couldn't control him. The Mavericks couldn't control him. Sacramento didn't see him. He just seemed like he was just kind of wasting away out there. Then he comes to the Lakers, and you don't hear a peep about Rondo's character, about LeBron and Rondo butting heads. Yo, that's a great point.

You want to know a testament to LeBron's greatness is the lack of ego from the egomaniacal players that he plays with. Yeah. Right? These guys that are always causing problems nothing when they're with nothing because they know the real ones with them yes except kairi but kairi really didn't say shit when he was with lebron he had to leave he had to leave but was it up yeah but when he left he was much worse than he was with lebron oh yeah he was still

like probably annoying but at the same time he knew like look i can't do that without without him so i'm gonna shut the fuck up and now he hasn't stopped talking but he also hasn't stopped losing it's tough going to it going to practice every day and watching this guy be so clearly better than you like ty kairi we can say he's great he's not lebron by any stretch yeah that's the hardest thing man like one of the hardest things with greatness is accepting, is like checking your own ego so you can be great. Yeah. You know what I mean? Like you have to, like LeBron has an ego, massive ego, but he has to check part of that and go, nah, I need AD to get some buckets now because I can't carry by myself or I need Kyrie to take this last shot. And it's like, if you truly want to get there to the mountaintop, you're going to need a

team and you're going to need a team of people that will do things better than you. Yeah. And not a lot of people are able to submit to that. It's hard. Could Jordan have done that? Yes, he did do it. With Scotty? Passing that fucking rock to Paxson, passing that rock to Kerr.

Okay. Do you know what I mean? He's like, I want to win so bad, I will let these motherfuckers make a career off of hitting open threes. You know, it's just an interesting thing. All the way back to last dance, they talk about that first championship

and Phil was like, can you fucking pass to Paxton, please? Just try it. And then Paxton just started burying the jumpers. And then I think Phil said like, that was a turning point in Mike's career when he was like, oh oh I can trust my teammates you can't get there

unless you do man yeah you literally can't it's in anything it's in business it's in comedy it's in everything we do you cannot get there

what's interesting about Braun and AD though is Braun's setting AD up to be the number one he's setting AD up to that's how it works I'm gassing you up so you become number one

and then I'll be number two and we'll get more chips together that's what I'm asking if Jordan could do I. I don't know. I don't know if jordan could do that but That's how it works if you want to stay in the game I think jordan would rather just leave but if you want to stay in the game You eventually you're gonna have to pass that you're gonna have to pass that baton Yeah, but that's the thing man

If you want to reach the mountaintop you have to be able to check your ego And have people that are better than you in certain things around you like steve jobs couldn't code for shit yeah but that motherfucker knew what he wanted you to code yep you know i'm sure bill gates don't know nothing about half the shit that he's doing but he knows what needs to get done yeah you know and i think there's a certain people that like can't get past the middle that they have such ego that they need to be the one that does every little thing. Let that shit go. And there's a T. LeBron's like argument.

There's a, this is my time and I'm going to stay on a team when it's AD's time and then it's going to be his time, but I'm going to still win. Everybody got their time as long as we're winning. That's what matters. And by then, hopefully his shit will be solidified. So he's done. Yo, let's talk about Dax foot because that's a little crazy situation. You got to be hurt right now. That was hurt.

That was painful, dog. Quarterback for Dallas Cowboys. Quarterback for Dallas Cowboys. I'm born and raised in Dallas. I'm a Cowboy fan. Watching the game, all of a sudden. Dak, indestructible his whole career. Like, that was my big argument for Dak is this guy never gets hurt.

And I always knew it was going to take some freak shit for him to finally set out a game. Did he get a contract? Nope. He did not get a contract. And this is where it's interesting. This is where it's interesting. So he got franchised.

A franchise tag means you get like a guaranteed amount of money for one year, and it's the top five in your position, the average of the top five players. So the top five quarterbacks in the league, they average those salaries. And then for one year, you get that amount of money. Exactly.

$31.4 million for Dak. And the team is allowed to franchise, I believe, one player a year. And then you can keep franchising, but the price keeps going up to such a degree that it's not worth it. It's not worth it.

So they franchised them last year, if I'm not mistaken. They were trying to, I think the Cowboys were offering like $35 million a year for four years. No, five years. Dak was like,

I want four. I'm not signing less than, more than four years i want less less years because there's going to be a tv negotiation like renegotiation and the price that fox is going to pay to carry the games is going to lift up the salary caps super high and i can cash out again right so he's like fine franchise me i'll get 31.4 million this year i I'm good. And then next year, we'll get the big contract done. Or I'll get a franchise tag for even more money, like 40 million or whatever. Then all of a sudden, the first time in his career, he gets injured. And it's the freak injury of the ankle going the complete, the foot going the complete

other way. Dislocated, broken, compound fracture, bones sticking through the skin. And that shit, I don't think I understood how crazy it was. He just goes down, immediately starts waving to the trainers and his foot's just sticking the wrong way and he tries like planted drowning into the ground and get it the right way and i was just like looking like this i don't think i understood what was going on and then you see the medical cart his teammates are all freaking out the fucking his old head coach is on the other team sideline he's a coordinator he comes over checks on. And then when you see Dak crying as he's being carted off, that's when you're like, oh, fuck. This guy, that's when it

hit me. This guy's watching his entire career pass before his eyes. And I thought, as much as it sucks to talk about and you wish he got his money, the interesting thing is the contract negotiation. Because next year, even if his ankle heals, you don't know how it's going to look until you see him on a football field. This is a crazy freak injury. Gordon Hayward is apparently the closest comparison. Gordon Hayward doesn't look the same. I'm a fan of Dak.

I want Dak to get his money. I'm also a fan of the Cowboys. I want the Cowboys to be good. In the NFL, you can only spend a certain amount of money every year. So my two sides of his fan of both are like, I want him to get his money. I don't know if i want the cowboys to pay it necessarily so i'll just uh show this screen grab because we can't play yeah this is the fucking his foot is can you go back a little bit al just so we can see this is just crazy man oh that's just freak yeah yeah it's a freak accident yeah it's not a bad tackle or anything

no nothing dirty nothing dirty it just just so happens that the guy who's tackling him his knee rolls over his ankle during the tackle yeah i mean dude if he tackled him one step earlier his other foot would be by that knee and it would go right past. I've been thinking about this. And this dad also. Oh, my God. By all accounts, great guy. Lost his mom a few years ago to cancer.

His brother committed suicide last year. He talked about how he's been depressed. He's been struggling with mental health. Everybody is like, I watched a video you sent me from a doctor talking. He's like, you really got to worry about his mental health. He's already suffered, struggled with depression. Now he can't play the game he loves. People need to keep checking on this guy.

You're worried about him. Then there's a fan part of me that's like, do we want to pay this motherfucker? Come on, guys. When are we going to talk about this? So I just thought, as fucked as it was, this is the only place I know where we could have that conversation of like, what do you do with this guy next year? Now, what is the deal? Like, it looked like his foot is kind of turned out. It's turned the complete wrong way.

Like, he already walked LeBron, sweet-footed or whatever. And now it's super. Now that shit is already. Now it's a fucking 90 degrees. It was a total break. Yeah, honestly, as fucked up as this is, you can't pay him, man. I think you got to see. You can't pay him.

You got to see. Now, somebody else could take that gamble and you could potentially lose that but if you're part of an organization as and again as fucked up as it is this is the gamble this is the gamble you take that you take now you want to turn down 35 million dollars a year whatever it was for five years you have that right yeah but you are playing the most dangerous sport yeah in existence yeah you are playing the position that every single play the other team is trying to tear down 100 right not a single play offensively goes by yeah without the other team going that guy's getting the ball first and we are tying to concuss 100 we're trying to kill this we're trying to kill this get him out

of the game that's it if we can't can. I don't want to deal with him. You turned down $35 million because you believe you are worth more and that's totally fine. But that is the gamble. And I think it's what I would have done.

I think I would have been like, nah, fuck it. Let's take the risk. Who cares? $31.4 million. I'm good with the rest of my life anyway. I'm going to be honest with you, bro. He must have a lot of money

because the only way you could turn that shit down is if you have fuck you money already i don't know if this is true i've heard this i've heard it disputed i heard he made 50 million off advertisements already like just being the cowboys quarterback that could be a bullshit figure if that's true then you're like i'll take a 31 million who gives a fuck but dave chappelle said it best everybody says what's the difference between 10 million and 50 million he goes i'll tell you what it's a staggering 40 million dollars if your dac was the difference between 80 million and 150 million it's a staggering 70 million dollars so that's just the interesting discussion i thought you

could live with it like that if this was his first contract he's taking that shit in a heartbeat yeah but the fact that he's gotten 50 million maybe in endorsements and this year alone he got what? 31.4. 31, guaranteed. That's fuck you money forever. Exactly. So he can say fuck you forever. If he never plays another down of football, him and his kids will be amazing.

And he's in Texas where he's not paying no fucking tax on that shit. Shit is cheap, boy. We. Yeah, shit is cheap. That's why everybody want to be quarterback of the Dallas Cowboys. Hey. Nobody want to be quarterback of the LA Rams. Hell no.

New York Giants? Fuck out of here. You're paying Manhattan Borough Tech? Shit. Suck my dick. Shit. I can't believe you incorporated here. That's crazy.

I know. I'm stupid. But that was the part that I was, I've been thinking about that financial aspect of it. I'm glad that Rick Moranis got punched in his fucking chest. But that's the thing I keep thinking about is the money, because I'm Indian. But I'm like, yo, this guy turned down $100 million guaranteed, and he took that risk that I think I would have taken,

and he got fucking, it might be over. How many teams are going to save money because of this in the offseason? Because there are going to be other quarterbacks. Yeah, buddy. That are going to go, oh, boy. Yeah, I'll sign. Yeah. I'll sign. this in offseason because you're gonna be other quarterbacks yeah buddy that are gonna go oh boy yeah i'll sign yeah i'll sign we're talking an extra 10 20 million whatever but you've got 100 million guaranteed it's kind of feels like isaiah thomas say what kind of feels like uh isaiah thomas team yeah remember the basketball yeah 100 yeah there's a uh do you remember uh demar de rosen

yeah remember him he played for the raors. Yes. And he got signed. He was playing great and he was going to get signed. He was asking for a max contract. And apparently the Raptors came to him with under the max. And he couldn't say no to it. Maybe there weren't other offers out there and maybe the Raptors knew that. Who knows exactly? Maybe other teams weren't other offers out there and maybe the Raptors knew that. Who knows exactly? Maybe other teams weren't reaching out,

but this is a guy who comes from, I think it's Compton. I think Compton and is being offered instead of 150, 140 million dollars. Yeah. Are you really going to say no to 140? Wait, but he couldn't say no. He couldn't say yes.

Couldn't say no. He signed it. Yeah. He couldn't say no. Oh, even though it wasn't a max, there was that $10 million gap. Yeah.

I think when it's in front of you and you know what you came from i actually hard bro you know what as you're making you that's your first big no no and i'm agreeing about to agree with demar i'm about to flip positions i think if i'm in that position actually i'm thinking it's 10 million dollars either way i'm it's fuck you money forever forever ever ever i'm a quibble over 10 million sign the fucking deal. I'll make it up. It's a little disrespectful. I'll say that shit a couple times make myself feel better. Call it out in the media

a couple times. Be passive aggressive. Or do the opposite. I want to put that money into our offensive line. I want guys to get paid. You could be the good guy with it too.

You could be. But that actually I think I might have taken the kind but either way. If you're a football player take the goddamn money. If it's not disrespectful take it.

And if it's guaranteed. Oh yeah. That's what they care about is how much is guaranteed. Because you could take it. And if it's guaranteed. Oh, yeah. That's what they care about is how much is guaranteed. Because you could drop it. And I think you wanted a little more guarantee, but I think they had like $100 million guaranteed, I think. Anyway, look, get better DAC, man. It's a shame, bro.

Bro, that shit was rough to watch. That's heartbreaking, man. And seeing a football player cry, dog, the amount of pain these guys take on a day-to-day, to see a guy like that cry you're like yo he's going through a hell bro I feel like you were tearing up too

just talking about it I might have been man I'm gay first of all I be crying all the time second of all you got a little emotional bro this guy's life is in

fucking it's in a dark place bro nah if you lose a game you love and your brother and your mom like it's not completely fine

this guy going through it yeah I guess if you put it like that yeah if you make it all mom like it's not completely fine yeah this guy going through it yeah I guess if you put it like that yeah if you make it all sad then it's sad yeah why'd you make it all sad why'd you make it are you talking about me crying

I gotta make you wanna cry why'd you make it fun instead of sad yeah I'm trying to point out why I'm crying now his foot will make him turn directions

better he's black oh wow dad let's make it fun let's do something no no no just so we're clear

the dad is black that's okay he's half black where is the dad exactly where's the dad I hate him I hate him

no he didn't you can't do that to me because I actually have a father and he's like in my life like for real for real we know that that's why you're you

that's why you're so amazing. It's like we found Waldo. Just because you call your boyfriend daddy, it don't count. Hey, I'm with it too, Taylor. He's a dick as big as this. He all our daddies.

I don't call my... Daddy, granddaddy, great-granddaddy, I do not call my partner's daddy for nothing. That's what it's to what. I do not call my partner's like daddy for nothing.

Nothing? Not even with that dick? Let's call him baby. Like I don't call him dad. Oh, nothing Nothing? Not even my dad's dick? Let's call him baby Like I don't call him dad How dare you disrespect His dick like that Ain't no baby That's a baby arm maybe

Yeah Yeah Shit I'm not talking about his dick Okay I'm just talking about in general In genital? What'd you say?

Come on Taylor What'd you say? In genital? In genital bro I said in general She got dick on the brain Yeah I know That's probably where it goes Give him brain Yo your boyfriend What'd you say? In genitals? In genitals, bro. I said in general. She got dick on the brain. Amen.

That's probably where it goes. Yeah, that's what I was going to say. Give him brain. Yo, your boyfriend got a big dick, yo. You probably forget shit every time he fucks you because it just knocks memories up. The fuck happened? Does that ever happen? You're like, yo, you owe me $20. He's like, do I?

$10. $5. $3. I owe you money. What's going on? It's like a Mario every time you hit the button. Oh my God. Oh my God, that was good.

Why do I keep making my cheeks hurt? Oh yeah, he be making his cheeks hurt. You used to that? Yeah. He makes your cheeks hurt. Yeah. Oh, fuck. He makes her cheat Yeah Oh fuck Now my shit is Stars again

Stars again dude You have to warm up Your jaw before Man get out of here That's crazy bro Taylor's a woman bro Yes A lady right here

We can't be talking About this little lady You're right my bad Disrespectful you right Jesus Man she probably Unhinged that shit Like a cobra who just swallows it all. Oh, my gosh.

She got PTSD just talking about shit. Hey, you're right. My shit. Exactly. I got TMJ now that you mentioned it. This actually really hurts. Yeah, I know. I know. That's what you mentioned it this shit this actually like really hurts yeah I know I know

that's what you be saying stop faking you're making me laugh too much let me tell you something that's the only way I make a girl's mouth hurt laughter

what about punches wait what what what happened what what what did I say what are you what are people talking about out here take it away Wait what? What? What happened? What? What? What? What did I say?

What are you What are people talking about out here Al? Take it away Take it away Al We wanna do some feelings no facts Say what? Some feelings no facts Yeah let's do feelings no facts

Just about your outfit Come on Al Sing the song that's in your head right now What song should Al sing Mark What is it I thought he looked like Ja Rule Before

That's as good as I get 100% Yeah yeah you're right I can't think of the Ja Rule song What would I be without my baby That's what I need What would I be without you It's murder

You're literally dressed like Ja Rule Remember the halftime show Remember the halftime show Remember the halftime show Where he's like We in Milwaukee We ready Just nothing I guess not

Alright that's fine That's your outfit right now bro Yo you know what you need bro New York 90s baby You need to fuck your girl on her period Whoa And then pull out And be like

It's murder Yeah that's so... That's actually Al after he leaves it in. He's just being prophetic. Yeah. It's like the minority report. When he sees the crime in the future.

Get the little pregnancy test comes back with a plus. How's the job room look? It's murder. Amy Coney Barrett. Beat it, bitch. All right, guys. We're going to take a break for a second.

Pay some bills. Listen, NBA is over, but you know what's back is foot, motherfucking ball. You want to know why the NBA ratings were down? It's because of foot, motherfucking ball. Nothing can compete with football. So if you want to know why The NBA ratings were down Is because of foot Motherfucking Ball Hell yeah Nothing can compete

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Why would you want to have sex on your period? Say what? That's gross. It's just gross. You never want to make your girl bleed, y'all? No. She doesn't have to be. Y'all be having sex?

Yeah. No, no, no, no, no, no. No, we don't do that be. Y'all be having a session? Yeah. Nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah. Nah, we don't do that, bro. Nah. I'll do that shit. I'll do that shit if it hasn't dropped yet. Huh?

Knock it loose. Wait, what? What? Knock it loose. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I know what you mean. I'm with you. Dick it down.

If that period is a little late, you dick it down. Yeah. Come on down now. Hit it with that Bob Barker. Come on down. Come on down. Wait, is that true Barker Come on down Wait is that true? The price is right

Yeah When the price is wrong bro You can get up in there Wait so Knock knock What is it? Mark trying to learn Hey she going over

If that period If she went overtime Okay so if she's If her period is late Period is late Then what do you do? Then you dig it down Knock it out

Knock it off Like a cocoa nut That's pretty much No It's a cocoa nut That shit pretty much No It's a cocoa nut That shit works It does work It does work

But you gotta go Deep stroke Legs over the shoulder Over the shoulder You gotta leave it in too It's like you know What he said He said

Whose shoulder That's a different level The guys told me To do this, babe. I'm not ready to be a father. Oh my God. All you're doing happy baby yoga poses. I'm about to rock your world.

Andrew said to do it cause I'm scared you just gotta be more specific sometimes that's why the Kama Sutra they drew the pictures okay

you can't just be giving vague descriptions of what you're supposed to generally do bro come on dog hold on hold on

my head hurts bro oh no you gotta you gotta hit sideways I'm backing out again yo you need to eat something You need to eat something. I need to eat something, dude. Did I not eat anything today?

Oh, no. You got us soup. Soup? Drake? Drake? You ever been called gay before like that? That was wild. That shit hurts.

She sold you, boy. Soup? Soup? That shit hurts. She sold you, boy. Soup. Soup. We talk about soup. We talk about liquid nourishment. We talk about Haley Hardy. The same thing you eat when you're cold. Exactly.

My big dick boy, everyone, never eat soup. Never eat soup. We talk about you're going to blow on the spoon because it's too hot before you eat it? Soup? Oh, fuck. Put some ice cubes in it so it cools down a little?

Soup? Bitch ass motherfucker drinking soup? Yo, why are you out here eating soup, pal? Why are you out here eating soup, bro? You put on one tank top and you're still eating soup. Son, I didn't eat soup, soup So I didn't eat soup No Son I didn't eat soup

I had a smoothie But I ate I had a smoothie I ate it like a man I ate it with a fork son You put a spoon in your mouth So who What gay motherfucker

Put spoons in their mouth You know spoons in the mouth That's a little vulnerable, bro. That's wild, son. Right? Because just the bottom part of it. That's gay. That feels a little phallic.

That feels a little bottom. It feels a little bottom, dude. You ever eat ice cream and put the spoon upside down? Oh, that's too crazy when it hits you in the top of you. It hits the ridge. It hits your mouth ridge, dude. You might as well

just suck some dirt. You might as well. He's trying to hit the dangly thing in the back of his nose. Park with a pint of Haagen-Dazs. Putting his legs behind his head. I don't cook.

I don't clean. I still got this cream. That's all I take. I hate you. Oh, man. Oh, God. Oh, boy. Soap. I hate you Oh man Oh god Soup Why were you so judgmental about soup?

Because like Are you sick? Like I don't know She said you got AIDS She said you ordered like you got AIDS Or you're eating Look I just feel like you only eat you got yeah you all or you're eating look I just feel like you only eat soup

if you're sick or you're you're at an Asian restaurant that's all oh you're at an Asian restaurant yeah oh cause you got that wonton

yeah you know what that is that's just their boogers what you didn't know that when you're like one order of soup they're just like

they just fill that bowl up. Yeah. No. Yeah. That's not true. I'm not believing you. It is. It is.

It is. Yeah, it is. It does. Well, maybe we should ask Chris. It is. All right, talking about North Korean missiles out of your nose.

Talking about snot rockets. Talking about Asian missiles rockets. Talking about Asian missiles. Kim Jong-un. Kim Jong-un shed a tear. Wait, before we do

feelings so fast, can I piss or nah? I gotta go. How much time we at? Two. Nah, because I think we're almost done.

Oh yeah, why are you like torturing a motherfucking son? You are. No, literally we're almost done. I think literally

we can end the episode now. I didn't even see this. Because this was fire. I say end it, obviously, because I got to piss. I think we do one more thing and then end it. Is that all right? And I don't mean to do this to punish you.

I don't mean to do this to punish you. You see how long I've been sharing this? Yo, yo, if y'all listening at home, if y'all watching at home, rather. Time how long I've been shaking my chair back and forth. If you ever want to know If our guy's got a pee All he does

Is just rolls back and forth Like this That's it Are y'all squeezing your dick though? Say what? Yeah I squeeze my dick No because I try to squeeze the whole clothes

I just think it's interesting How y'all hold the pee Versus how girls hold the pee How do you guys hold the pee? Okay well I don't want to talk about it. I'm just asking y'all. How do we hold the pee?

We just talked about your period two weeks in a row. Our body actually doesn't, our body normally holds it. So we have to push it to have it leave. Yeah. Not this time. Does that make sense? I just think it's, I'm going to talk about it off air have to push it to have it leave yeah not this time does that make sense i just think it's no we'll talk about it off air no it's something it is something interesting because like if i got home ip i'm grabbing my hand and holding it sometimes if i have to hold the lips close no sometimes you don't have to like i could hold it without it it's like if it's really about to if it's like you damn it you damn the lip shut with your hands is that what you do it was at the door yes you have to hold the vulva closed you ever like your little brother

you you put them is it like those like plastic no i'm not no i'm just gonna say no almonds in what is that a zip lock bag can you zip lock your bag can you click it all the way up what what did you just do you know what I'm saying no you know you're looking at me confused no you got the ziplock who goes multiple you just click

and then slide not if you're on the zero you got a weed weed weed you know what I mean y'all pay for the ziplock zipper what you got

bro you just got to push them shits together yellow and blue make green. Wait, what? Are you still using a twisty tie, dog? Nah, bro.

What are you talking about right now? Old school sandwich bags that you got to press closed. You got sandwich bags? Yeah, bro. For what? For other sandwiches. Wait, what's the old...

There's two different... That zipper shit is new technology, Taylor. So what are you talking about? The older technology where you got to press the bop, bop, bop, bop all the way.

No, you just seal it and then like, what's yours? He doesn't know. He's an immigrant. He's an immigrant. Yeah, we can't afford that, Taylor. He's an immigrant. Thanks for laughing at our poverty. Yeah.

That motherfucker is. Don't do that. Poor-a. I'm poor-a. Poor-a. P-O-O-R-a. P-O-O-R-a. I'm poor-a.

All right. Let's talk about this Bro come on I cannot say that Yeah you're right Yeah Come on now Alright Let's talk about this

Al what's the story You really wanted to Share this story with us So we're gonna do Facts no feelings Did you put this down Who put this down Al just put it up

Oh you found this one Yeah Okay so break this down To us Mark So I don't really know What's going on I'm just I'm gonna pee Oh, you found this one? Yeah. Okay, so break this down to us, Mark. So I don't really know what's going on. I'm going to pee. This is the last story, son.

We're done. Son, he don't even fucking believe in it. No, he does know that it's up there. No, no. Okay? I'll make it really short. I'll make it really short. I'll make it really short.

Look at it right there. You can see exactly what the story's about. Oh, you're going to make it short because it's the Chinese. Okay. That's what I said. My bad. All right bad all right go dude let's go i'll give it short so in 1948 north korea's found this is short yes what's wrong with that i hate this guy so basically he gives an address okay the leader of north korea at like a military parade and he starts crying and in the speech he's like i'm sorry that i

failed the people of north korea i haven't made you all as happy and prosperous as i wanted that is wild actually and as for a moment this dictator of north korea shows like real humility and vulnerability and like kind of like admits he fucked up which kind of goes counter our narrative because we see him as sort of like this infallible, like demigod that just like does whatever he wants. And like, yo, this story sucks. I'm kind of into this right now. Go on, go on. Go,

go. I don't know what's going on. My understanding of Kim Jong-un is like, that'd be funny if at the end of the speech, you'd be like, psych, it's murder. Fucking all these,

population too dense. Starts making miso. All right, go. All right, go. Population too dense Starts making miso Alright go Alright go I always thought Kim Jong-un was like Oh he's infallible He's like Made like 18

Holes in one In a row He doesn't poop Yeah he doesn't poop Those are all the stories I hear of him And now here he is In front of everybody

Crying So what do you make of it I don't know Propagands You think it's a propaganda Because on top of that Why is this footage out North Korea filmed it Propagands you only see what north korea

wants to show you so they want to show him looking like this you think they green screened it i don't know do you think they recorded a time when everybody was i think they're sending some shit over and this is a diversionary tactic y'all better get ready oh y'all better get ready they're trying to show north korea is like uh as soft right before the big attack they're trying to show us Korea is like as soft. Right before the big attack. They're doing, they plot some shit. You think that's what it is? I see it coming. Is that how it works? I think so.

So they make, so all of a sudden, we're super desensitized. We let our guard down. Korea don't seem that bad. They're not dangerous. This guy's going through it right now. And then they send some shit over. I don't believe it for a second. I don't believe it for a second. Wouldn't they have for a second when they have dinner already though girl why are you doing that i'm making

a point and then you come over here fucking it all up you know what's going on as rock though as rock taylor what the fuck is you doing i'm over here trying to make a point and you always got some shit to say what a black man can't get his point across I got a black woman over his shoulder talking over him what is that you know what I said take take

oh I hope you meet have you met no I haven't oh can you please no don't do that voice acting oh you gotta do it just make it feel

super uncomfortable oh god please stop this did we see this I never seen this No, don't do that voice acting. Oh, you got to do it. Oh, 100%. Just make him feel super uncomfortable. What is America's ad? Oh, God, please stop this. Did we see this? I've never seen this. What is just... This is Kanye's ad? Yeah.

We have to think about all these things. This is just a Kobe commercial again. To contemplate our future. It's funny. He posted a... That is good. Oh, Andrew made it. Yo, Andrew on Kanye's Twitter.

So Kanye posted a conversation That Rogan and I Were having about him It's mostly what Rogan is saying About meeting Kanye But you can tell That Kanye didn't watch The whole episode Because

That conversation comes From me shitting all over Kanye Yeah So somebody just sliced That one little part out Where like Rogan's like Nah he's a wild guy He's like a genius

He's like whatever And then immediately after I'm like nah he's not He guy he's like a genius he's like whatever and then immediately after I'm like nah he's not he just like takes shit that's dorky to white people makes it cool for black people

and that's really all it is but he immediately cut that shit out he's like Rogan we gotta have a conversation we gotta do it I'm in Calabasas you in it though

I'm in it for a second I could give a flying fuck about Kanye but he's really going for this president shit huh yeah man no you think people really want him vote for him

no anyway I think we'll wrap up the podcast I think we're gonna wrap up the podcast I think this has been a great podcast

I think that if there's one more thing that any of us would like to share yeah the contest yeah I'll see you guys later

I'll talk about that while I piss no no no we need you here for the contest we need you here for the contest. We need you here for this, right? Little chicken leg. Well, here we are again, guys.

No Akash. I fucking feel like I had the Nooroot or something, man. Why? Are you going for it? I don't know. Oh, yeah. How are we going to do it? Son, how are you going to drink that whole fucking thing if you don't drink it ever?

Son, I'm drinking it. You barely drank any of it. Son, I are you going to drink that whole fucking thing if you don't drink it ever? Son, I'm drinking it. You barely drank any of it. Son, I've been drinking it. Let me see. Look. You ain't drink shit. You had no excuses, bro. You haven't even drank it.

I'm at five. All right. And it's six o'clock now. I am a little down. You're not even there. I'm a little down. What? Wait.

Why are you smiling, bro? Why are you smiling? Why are you smiling? Did y you smiling? Why are you smiling? Y'all put something in my drink? How long have you been drinking it for? Yo, yo, hold on. Who takes a sip of something, everybody in the room laughs, and then goes, y'all put something in my drink, and then takes another sip to make certain.

Wait, what do you mean what y'all talking about what you talking about bro I don't know if it tastes off or not what you put you put up something by Drake

huh son no huh hey Al you can't lie your voice will go up hey Al did they put something

by Drake hey Al who's the one person in this podcast that hasn't taken a pee break yet oh guys we'll see you

on Patreon it's patreon.com if you want to know what happened to alan what he just drank oh my god wait is that what you meant when you said you took the neuro route yeah like i feel off a little i might have something to calm me down peace y'all. We love you. Peace.