Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh - BLACK PEOPLE DON'T SNITCH ON ALIENS

Episode Date: June 25, 2019

This week Andrew, Akaash, and Kaz discuss: Kyrie on a spiritual retreat, Kaz being right about the police, swallowing Jordan's nut, Premium Pete measures his meat, and much more. INDULGE!!!

What's up everybody? Welcome to another episode of Flagrant's Who Know Easy Buckets Announces by Asshole's Water Cooler Commentary for your sports needs. I'm Andrew Schultz. I'm here with Akash Singh. Real life Kaz is not in the building right now. Hopefully he will be joining us soon. He has once again prioritized something else over us A TV show What is it? SNY SNY Come on son

Come on son What is SNY? Bruh What is it? Shitty New York Oh wow But what is it? Wow

Is it a cable show? I honestly don't know what it is It's an Instagram page I know that They have an Instagram page Yeah I'm asking you a serious question It's a network of some kind I honestly don't know what it is. It's an Instagram page. I know that. They have an Instagram page. Yeah. I'm asking you a serious question. It's a network of some kind, but I don't know the channel.

I see the commercials. Not SAG. Shit is non-union commercials. It's the only channel that's willing to play the Mets. Oh! Is it the Mets channel? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh!

So the Yankees have Yes, and the Mets have SN Yeah, yeah, yeah Oh So the Yankees have yes And the Mets have yes and one Okay, alright Well, we're not going to waste any more time On Kaz's poor decision making But We have to say that this episode is brought to you By

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Manscaped is the number one company in male hygiene. They got the anti-chafing deodorants, the ball moistur the whole deal manscape.com offer code flagrant 20 off yo um i got some dates man i want you to come out to this matador tour thank you guys so much for sharing the clips man all these clips going viral was fucking insane and that's what's happening at the matter so don't miss out all right this weekend thursday through saturday i'm going to be at Denver Comedy Works One of the best comedy clubs In the entire world

Unbelievably intimate space Just really great for comedy The whole thing is curated For great comedy So Come on out Denver Comedy Works Downtown location

And then Sunday Houston Early show sold out We added a late show Cause I fuck with y'all man I only come once a year So I wanna be there for you So We added a late show because I fuck with y'all, man. I only come once a year so I want to be there for you. So we added the late show. Come get some of that. And then

after that, we have the Toronto show. Early show sold out. Second show, we added. Okay, those tickets are going. Tell your friend. Tell the world. Telemundo. Do all that shit. Come through Toronto Alright

You know I fuck with y'all So come through It's gonna be crazy July 13th We're gonna make it happen And then also Special announcement Just for laughs

Montreal people My Montreal assholes We're gonna be doing Two very cool shows For the Just for laughs Comedy festival We're gonna be doing An inside joke show

That's the show that You've probably seen On my YouTube channel Where comics are workshopping our most divisive and fucked up and evil material trying to find the funny in it and we're also going to do an unsafe set show where i'm just going to have a bunch of comics come through and they're going to do their craziest bits so it's going to be very fun very unique experiences off uh you know it's going to be late night shows i think both of them are like 11 45 let's get wild let's get a little fucked up and let's have some funky cool comedic

experiences uh theandrewshoes.com for that and more dates we keep on adding dates obviously russia pull the fuck up australia the word is out those tickets are moving get on that right now and many more dates so go check out the website. Go for it, y'all. Boom. This Wednesday, I will be hosting a panel. I'll be moderating the hashtag sports panel for the new movie, A Kid from Coney Island, with Slam. It's a documentary on Stephon Marbury.

Wednesday, June 26th at the New York Times Center in Times Square. My guy Dennis Page, the editor-in-chief of Slam, will be on the panel. Cootie Simmons, who is the filmmaker and the director of the movie, will be talking about Stephon Marbury, the legacy of Slam, and all good basketball stuff. And just come to the Hashtag Sports panel anyway.

There's going to be a bunch of huge fucking celebrities and sports people from the NBA, Nike, ESPN, NFL, wherever. So pull up there. It's at 10 a.m. at the fuckity fuck, fuck, fuck. It is at the Time Center at 242 West 41st Street, New York, New York, 10036. Yo, I'm good. We're going to start plugging next week.

I'm going on tour. I'm headlining. I'm bringing my boy Donish with me. He's going to feature for me. So we got a couple of dates lined up. We're still going to line up more, but I'm going to start plugging the actual dates next week. So let's just, I'll announce it. Y'all support.

We'll have fun. Yes, sir. And oh shit, I forgot. We got some Ducey Palooza dates as well. This July 19th, we'll be in Detroit, Michigan at the Majestic. Get your tickets on DuceyPalooza.com. So many fucking assholes in Los Angeles this past weekend, man. It was overwhelming how many of y'all came up and showed mad love.

So shout out to all y'all that came through. And, of course, this July 5th, Essence Fest, my man Andrew Schultz, after he's done hosting Essence Fest, we man Andrew Schultz, after he's done hosting Essence Fest, will be doing Duce Palooza in New Orleans at the House of Blues. The show starts at 12 midnight. It's 12 midnight. It is a midnight party, so make sure you pull up. And yeah, let's get back to the show.

Essence Fest, hosted by Andrew Schultz. You're going to be out there. It's going to be wild. I'm going to see if he can get me a guest pass. We'll stop by Ducey Palooza. Security will not say anything as I walk in with no credential. Yes, sir.

Let's start the fucking show. Kaz was right. Can't trust the cops. Kaz was right. Can't trust the cops. You know what? We'll wait for Kaz to get here. I have no problem admitting when I'm wrong.

I was wrong. But I'll let kaz have his glory when he comes and he can tell me how right he was about the cops lying and how wrong i was about the cops like maybe i have too much uh faith in law enforcement maybe that's the case it maybe that's the case maybe i assume that these people that are paid to protect us are going to tell the truth, and maybe I should be a little bit more skeptical. Did you see that? See how we did that right there? Well done. Double promo.

Double promo. Maybe I didn't distill this information well enough the first time, okay? And maybe if I had cold-brooded a little bit more in my head, I could have seen that these cops were potentially lying. So I apologize. But I'll let Kaz ream me out when he gets in. Akash. I was wrong, too. I thought something happened.

Kaz was like, nah, nothing happened. I was like, you wild. Something happened. Yeah. It's weird that the two non-blacks really felt that nothing happened. I thought something. I don't know if he punched him but i was like something fucking happened the guy's charging at him like a goddamn rhinoceros right

turns out right just angry that a black guy's getting on the court you'd think he'd be used to that you think if there's one thing that he would be accustomed to a security card at a basketball game can we acknowledge how that's maybe the worst job? Oh, absolutely. Right? I went to look into doing that. And? And then I realized the entire time you have to be facing away from the game. And I'm like, fuck that. But wait for it. Not only do you have to be facing away from the game, you're on the floor.

Yeah. Right? You hear it behind you. You hear the dribbling squeak. You hear the sneakers. You hear the swish. Everybody goes nuts. Right? Sometimes you get hitling squeak. You hear the sneakers. You hear the swish. Everybody goes nuts. Right?

Sometimes you get hit with a ball. You have no clue. Everybody's just laughing at you because your head's turned back. It's like you are so close but can't do anything. Yeah. That's rough. It is very rough. Yeah.

It is wildly rough. And they have to be stoic. They can't show emotion. It's like being a pedophile teacher. It's like they're right there. They come into you. You know what I mean? They're brought to your class.

Yeah. They call you by your last name. You're an authority. Violating dress code. Dude. Oh. So you met like a teacher who also is a pedophile. Is a pedophile.

So you met a person who teaches people how to become pedophiles. Son, I don't know what sort of Groupon classes you've been getting, but that is a wild profession, bro. A pedophile teacher? Yo, how you a bad pedophile? Or how you a good one? Well, I guess. Some documentaries out there. No, for real, man.

Sandusky the goat. Sandusky the goat, son. He would have a statue out front of that school, bro. He would have the Joe Pa statue. He really would. Because think about it. Instead of a hand like this, it'd be like this. It'd be underneath. So think about it.

Like for Sandusky specifically, right? It's like he was probably looking at all those teachers at the teachers at the school like oh the pedophile teachers at school like oh you think that you're smart because you get the kids coming to you right but he's like they don't even come to your shower like he picked the best he picked the best job to be a pedophile because the kids gotta wash how many How many jobs are there like that? Right? That guy's a fucking pedophile genius. Swim coach. Swim coach a good one. Yo! Swim coach a good one. That is true.

You gotta shower after the pool. That's fucking right. And you see him the whole time in just trunks. You just getting worked up. Yo! You're the one getting lathered up out there. Yo. All those strokes. It's called a stroke.

Right? The breast stroke. The butterfly back stroke. Back stroke. I didn't say mm before. That's too much. Bro. What a wild thing to choose

Right We gotta vet these teachers Why is there no vetting for teachers I don't know son Is that why Michael Phelps Swimming so fast He's trying to get away From his pedophile ass coach

Get me out of here Yo maybe that's how You make them good at swimming You swim behind them Dude that's the only way. Like a gay Jaws. It's just Jaws. That's what he was listening to in that headphones.

The fucking Jaws theme song. Fuck, dude. That is how you motivate them. Yeah, dog. That's how you get gold. Do you think that's how they do it in some countries? Do you think they use those type of harsh treatments? I mean, you know, listen.

North Korea got a swim team, I'm sure, right? Yeah, but they're not good. They're not using every technique. Right? That's like Rocky IV type shit. What do you mean? Like Rocky IV. What's his name? Drago getting juiced up. Right? That's like Rocky IV type shit. What do you mean? Like Rocky IV. What's his name?

Drago getting juiced up. Right. Any means necessary. But not any. No. Russia, I bet they do that shit. But do you think even though? What?

I don't think. Maybe America's the only. So far, as far as I'm concerned, America's the only country where they molest the athletes. Right? Like that, the gymnastics team. Oh, right. I don't know. And we, yo, I'm not saying it's right, fam.

I'm not saying it's right. I'm just saying so far we the only ones, right? And check the motherfucking goals, son. Check them medal counts. China be getting the goals, though. China gets the counts. China be getting the golds, though. China gets the golds. We get like the lead in the metal count overall. You don't think they molested out there in China?

Son. You don't think they molested out there in China? Oh, gosh. Oh, gosh. First of all, how old a Chinese person really is, bro? That's how they cheat. I think that's 40-year-old Chinas out there. How old is a Chinese?

Son, have y'all seen that China developed the most sophisticated facial recognition software in the world? They had to. They had no choice. They had no choice. They got to pick up every detail. Oh, I see your freckle. One freckle above cheek. That's the easiest Apple Face ID ever they're like just make one chinese

person cover all billion of them think about how easy it is to like find the different people in new york right yeah so much diversity so easy to point out an edin or an akash or an andrew yeah but when literally two billion people are sharing like seven names but the same haircut right the same guy isn't that what it's called yeah well done right same bandana that ties at the back. You stuck the landing like Sandusky, huh? I stuck the landing like Sandusky. It's not even him that raped. That was Nadler. Who? Nadler.

That's the Michigan guy. Sandusky didn't rape? No, no, he did, but that's football. Oh, yeah. Okay. I forgot there was a gym rape. The gym rape is- I forgot there was a gym raper.

My bad. Sign. Just check the mental count. Sign. All I'm trying to say is that Jamaican running team got one hell of a rapist. That's all I'm trying to say. Because them motherfuckers

be running. Yo, Usain Bolt? Usain Bolt got a reason. He got something to get away from. You know what it is? The dicks are bigger. So the punishment is worse. You know what I mean? I dicks are bigger. So the punishment is worse.

You know what I mean? I can take a little Sandusky. I can't take no Donovan. Come on, Akash. You don't think you can run a quick 40? Son. If Donovan is behind you? Bruh.

I might be into it. Huh? Huh? What? Is behind you Bruh I might be into it Huh Huh What You want your cheeks Thunderclaps Oh my god Akash

You should've You should've I don't actually know If you didn't go Did you go to Cluster Not Clusterfest Skankfest This weekend No I didn't It know If you didn't go Did you go to Cluster Not Cluster Fest Skank Fest

This weekend No I didn't It was wild Unbelievable You went I went Sunday night I got there the last day Okay

For those of you guys Who don't know The Legion of Skanks Amazing podcast Great great great comics Big Jay Ogerson Dave Smith Louis J Gomez

Louis J Gomez And a dude named Ralph Run the Gas Digital Network They have amazing podcasts on that network. Legion of skanks being one of them. Louis has several podcasts as well. Um, and Louis and Christine Evans and,

uh, Rebecca Trent all organized this festival called skank fest. And I'm telling you, it was fucking next year. We need to put all of our efforts behind it to support this really it is everything that we support in comedy it is no industry whatsoever it's all comics supported by comics for comics it is cbgbs it is punk rock you know it is hip-hop in the fucking bronx before it blew up i mean it is the most raw and organic form of stand-up.

It's like Burning Man for comedy. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. A little different in regards to the type of party it is, but it's truly, it's truly for us, by us. If there's a FUBU of comedy, this is what it is.

And they treat the comics great. There was this thing that they closed the show with the goddamn comedy jam run by josh hadda myers right and it's basically live karaoke yeah and you say and comics do like a couple jokes and then they sing the song and fucking bill burr played drums that's crazy this is the goat yeah shows up to this festival in brooklyn right does not have to do this right he's in the middle of filming a movie right now did not know that that's dope he's in new york filming pete davidson's movie okay right okay and he fucking comes to this thing they're not paying him or anything like that just to support comedy yeah and fucking

plays the drums for a few songs while they karaoke. Surprise guest, Louis C.K. Get the fuck out. Dude, I'm telling you. It's like we need to like. Louis got to come out butt naked to these things. While we're talking about butt naked, Ari Shafir. Yeah. This was hilarious.

So Roy Wood Jr. is going up to do his song. One of the funniest comics working right now. Love Roy Wood. So funny. And he's going to be on Inside Jokes this week with Akash, myself and Verzi. So Roy Wood goes up. Now, Roy Wood is hosting

a show on Comedy Central called This Is Not Happening. This Is Not Happening. It was originally Ari's show. So Roy gets up there and Roy's like, Ari, come on up here to show there's no beef. I think Roy was really diplomatic about it. He asked Ari's blessing to do it. He said he wouldn't do it unless Ari said it was cool, etc.

And so Ari gets called back on stage. And Ari walks by me. And I see him start kind of pulling down his pants. I'm like, what the fuck is going on? By the time he's on stage, he is butt-ass naked. Okay? Walks up and just hugs Roy. Roy does not know what the fuck is happening we're from

alabama roy is black black yeah yeah okay he don't know what the fuck is going on yeah and skank fest is it's super white yeah right it's super white we're gonna gentrify that shit next year and i mean that and i'm telling you our crowd is gonna love that and they're gonna love it's gonna be fucking amazing i can't wait but um dude roy hid in a corner while he sings the rest of his song while harry just bouncing around on stage with his fucking big ass dick flopping all over the place dude it was unreal being at this thing um and i want to get lewis on today but he couldn't do it but what i'm saying is next year we got to get behind this and we got to push this it's like new york has a thing. Yeah.

Finally. We've been missing a thing. Yeah. You've been calling for it. I've been calling for it. And they've had it. They fucking built it. And we got to prop it up.

We got to push it as much as we possibly can. Let's do it. Was this the first year they did that? No. They've done it a few years. It just keeps building every single year. They have unbelievable fans. Like devout fans like us. I mean that.

And when they start to cross-pollinate and find each other, they're wild, too. They're with the flagrancy. These motherfuckers are wild. So when they all realize that they're down with the same stand-up, it's going to be special. It's going to be special. Another podcast, and the dude Stavros helped me out

when I was sitting with the Patreon, Comptown is another podcast, and I think their fans will be super down for the flagrant shit. That's what we need to do, man. I was out in L.A. because I did Rogan again, and Rogan was talking about that, and he was just like... Oh, yeah. How the fuck we not talk about that? We can talk about it.

Yo, biggest podcast crossover in history. We'll talk about that in a bit, I guess. Yeah, that shit was wild, but he was saying a good thing. It was like, the beautiful thing about this... The beautiful thing about podcasting is it's not as antagonistic as other forms. So like radio was always about the war. Howard Stern was at war with whoever was the morning show in the market. Or even Breakfast Club and Hot 97, right?

It was always this war mentality. But podcast seems to be this friendship mentality. And I even feel bad because I think we got into it with you know buttons thing and that was you know stupid and but in reality all of us should be trying to prop each other up all of us should be helping each other that's interesting because you see what the guys in la have done and they've built out 15 fucking podcasts and all these podcasts are doing big numbers everybody's touring it's like there's a lot of food out there for all of us. Right.

You know? And if we have more of a feast mentality and a famine mentality. You know who did that is Rogan. Rogan set that up. Like if it's just Marc Maron out there doing WTF, I don't think it's as like, no disrespect to him, but Joe's about that life. Joe's about like giving, Andrew told me, first of all, it's so dope that you did Rogan and we forgot to talk about it. That tells you the kind of shit you're doing right now.

That's amazing. But you mentioned Joe will just like tip wherever he goes, like generously. I don't want to put his business out there, but he's generous. You don't want that? He's generous. Joe just does nice shit for people and doesn't expect anything. That's the vibe I get from Joe. He is living.

And that's a rare thing. But he's the podcast guy. He's the vibe i get from joe he is living and that's a rare thing but he's the podcast guy he's the guy so when he sets that precedent and he gives and he puts careers on like like ari owes a lot to joe so many comics owe a lot to joe so he set that precedent so now it's like well we just we just follow the leader really a hundred percent and they they see the formula and once you see it works it happens and. And it's like, we got a responsibility. You know what I mean? We got a responsibility to help out and push people and go for it. And then once you set that standard, it's so easy.

It's like, once someone helps you, you just want to help. Yeah. But when you feel like no one's helping you, you're like, fuck everybody. Apparently, 2 Chainz don't really care to help nobody, and he don't give a fuck about being friendly to anybody because he looked like I kicked around for decades. And nobody wanted to fuck with me. So fuck everybody.

Exactly. And that's a bad attitude because eventually you might need a little help. You might need a feature to get you back. It's built off of I got kicked around. So if 2 Chainz got helped early on as he should have or felt he should have or whatever, then he's like, yeah, I'll help everybody.

Boom, exactly. I got helped. So we need to have that. I look forward to helping comics the way you help me. It's like it's just when you get that help you're like fuck I gotta pay this forward

I can't just not right what kind of piece of shit would that be if I could get on and I'm just like nah I'm good yeah

so that's so that's what we're gonna do and that's what we're gonna have and I think that's what we haven't been doing but we just need a we just need a push on it crossovers

I'm telling you man it is it's very it was very cool to see also there's no giant corporations competing against each other to stop us. Right. Like Hot 97 and Breakfast Club can't really crossover. Their bosses are going to be like, nah.

Right. Nah. Yeah. Even though that would do numbers, nah. Us, we can just crossover. If Budden ever likes us, we could crossover. You know what I mean? It's not a thing.

Right. It's fun to take shots, but if they liked us, I mean, we could cross over. You know what I mean? It's not a thing. Right. It's fun to take shots, but if they liked us, you know what I mean? We could. For real. I mean, it is, I'm telling you, there is a, it's just good. It was good to see. It was refreshing to see. And sometimes you need to see it.

What do they say? Sometimes you need to believe things to see it. Sometimes you need to see to believe it. Okay. Right. They both function, right? Right, right, right. Like, you need to believe in, it okay right they both function right like right like you need to believe in like all these like old mexican chicks that like believe in god so

much they see the virgin mary in their fucking oatmeal right right you need to believe in god to see in the oatmeal right but sometimes you need to see some shit to actually believe it like when you see motherfuckers sharing the wealth and it's working you're like all right yeah when you see joe doing it yeah hey let's do it now he's he's living bro he's i was talking about this on andrew santino's podcast another really good comic out there who's got a good podcast called whiskey ginger and and we're talking about like there's the people and sometimes maybe i'm hard on on billionaires for this but like there's like living and surviving right and we're kind of geniuses, comics, right? Because we're surviving still.

Right. But we've kind of cracked the code because we've found a way to survive doing... Yeah, what we love. Right. Yeah. Right? So most people have to survive doing something they don't really like, but they need to survive. Right.

Right? And then we were like, all right, fuck it. If I'm going to have to survive, we might as well talk shit on podcasts. We might as well do stand-up, do the whole thing. Yeah. Right? But at the end of the day, we're still surviving. Right.

We can't stop working. We still got to work to pay. Right? Then you get to the point where you're financially free. You have so much money, you can't spend it in your lifetime. You have the opportunity at that point in time to do whatever you want and start living not surviving anymore right you've cured survival right so now you have the ability to live everything you do every day you could do because you want to do it right that's living fucking

money fuck you money so now you can live yeah but most people don't understand that so they keep on creating new goals to kick in the survival sensation right the survival motivation like when people go i want to be a billionaire yeah it's like you idiot you're good you want to be a billionaire take your money transfer it to tide bot you're a billionaire You want to be a billionaire? Take your money, transfer it to Tidebot. Bot? You're a billionaire, right? What is a billionaire? A billionaire isn't anything.

Yeah, it's a made-up thing. Take your billion dollars, transfer it into English pounds. You're not a billionaire. Yeah, that's a good point. It's completely arbitrary, this amount. But what they miss is what they miss is this this this just living they go in order for me to operate i need a motivation right i can't just live i need a bad guy i need a goal i need a dragon to slay right they can't just go i'm just gonna do whatever the

fuck i love every single day yeah and it's kind of sad man because like how few people even get the opportunity to live like rogan's fucking living yeah that's what i admire most i think you know what else i've thought about because i got friends who are you know business dudes doing great like making tons of money yeah but you are always surrounded by richer people and so you don't understand that you're living you feel like i this guy got it there's always that's the scariest thing about New York to me fuck the homeless people on the subway

it's when you're successful there's always someone more you are never successful enough yeah no house I have is nice enough it can like it can eat you alive

weirdly that sounds maybe it's not the scariest thing but like it's terrifying that you never feel adequate here if you are in different circles yes because there's always

somebody with a nicer car always someone with a nicer house, nicer apartment. You can literally spend infinite money here. I don't see there's a cap. You could live in the Nordstrom Towers for a million dollars a square foot or whatever it is. And you do compare yourself to the company you keep. Exactly. Yeah, so that is important. And maybe that's Strogon's values.

Like he's hanging around all these comics that are poor. That's his genius. Hang out with poor people. But then again, he'll hang out with Elon Musk. Yeah. So it's like, I'm sure he has this balance. He just seems incredibly comfortable in who he is. That's the vibe I get from him,

is he just knows him better than most people know themselves. I'm telling you, he's the truth, bro. I mean that shit. The motherfucking truth. And going out there and having him and Charlemagne meet, it was like having Professor X and Xavier meet, man. It felt like the same person.

What's the other guy with the medal? Magneto. Magneto. Professor X and Magneto. Son, can we talk about Professor X? What's up? And I'm sure a comic has done this. Why can he move everything but his legs

This is good Right My man can move everything with his head But his own fucking feet bro Like he can lift his His wheelchair up It hit me as soon as you said can we talk about Professor X I was like oh fuck that's good

I'm not onto something They explain what happens Cause he used to walk and then something happened on a retreat. He got shot. Oh, was shot? No. Somebody shot. It happened in one of the X-Men. I think Magneto shot somebody or something like that and it bounced and it hit him in

the back or whatever. But my point is, if you can move the wheelchair with your brain. You can move the bullet. Well, I think point is, if you can move the wheelchair with your brain... You could have moved the bullet! Well, I think he did. I think that was the issue. I think he moved the bullet and then it happened. Who we got there? What's up, Kez? Kez! Say hi to my cousin.

My cousin's here, everybody. That's Amit. Kez! Push the door already all the way closed. Why is it that Professor X can move everything but his feet? What is the logic there? You're a comic book nerd, right? Wait, can he move everything, though?

He moves the... He doesn't have wheels. The shit floats. Yeah, it floats. Why are you doing that? That's his mind. When he's in his mind, when he's in other people's minds, he walks. He can do stuff in people's minds, but physically, he can't walk for some fucking reason. I don't know. That's a, like he walks. Like he can do stuff like in people's mind, but like physically, he can't walk

for some fucking reason. I don't know. That's a glitch in the matrix. Kaz, by the way, we waited for you to get here so you can tell me how wrong I was about the massage.

We waited for you, but we'll get there in a second. I know we will. We also shit on SNY, but whatever. Oh yeah, we shit all over SNY. They ain't paying me.

They're paying me though, but fuck me, right? Don't worry about it. It's all good. This is what we expect. There's also a bug in here. This is going to be our Breaking Bad episode

where we go drive crazy from the fly. You did? I killed the other one. Oh, fuck it. I lived in another... There doesn't have to be another fly just waiting

outside the door. I'm taking credit for that. Professor X. Professor X. Uh-huh. Professor X. Charles Xavier. Has nobody addressed this whatsoever? I don't... Here we go. Oh, there it is. There-huh. Professor X, Charles Xavier, has nobody addressed this whatsoever?

I don't... Here we go. Oh, there it is. There it is. Bro, it's over. Let that little man live! Ah, fuck him. Don't make him live. Here it is. Here it is. Both of y'all are just up. Just look. Oh, no, it's here. It's here. I got it. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on.

Ooh, got him! No, you didn't get him. He's still flying. Y'all ain't gonna kill... Are we for's still flying. Are we for real doing this? Are we for real doing this? Can you keep the... Yeah, so Professor X... No, no, no, no. I want you to call the... Oh, he's going to play by play.

Oh, okay. And the fly is floating around the room completely untouched. See it? Andrew and Alex and Kaz have an uphill battle against him. Long off against them, folks. I didn't even fall? No, he did not fall and Kaz have an uphill battle against him. Long off against him, folks. No, he did not fall. Kaz is insisting he got him. Okay.

I think I got him, yo. He didn't get him. I saw him fly away. But it doesn't matter. He's deceived us. Okay. Back to what we're saying. Jesus. Okay. So, we don't know why that works, but the point was, what was it, a metaphor? Professor X can move everything.

Oh, it was seeing Charlemagne and Rogan come together, having that episode. And it was these two parts of the internet that I knew would enjoy each other if they had the opportunity to connect. Right. But they didn't know each other just yet. Right. So many people, when I went on Rogan That was the first time

They've ever heard of me Right Right And so many people It's so funny to get tweets That say this Rogan introduced me To Andrew Schultz

Who introduced me To Charlemagne The idea that I could Introduce anybody To Charlemagne Like yeah To me Charlemagne They're

Wildly famous Pinnacles of the internet Right It's Rogan And Sharla Yeah Right And like

Having that conversation the three of us and it was just fucking effortless three hours i'm not trying to brag about i'm just trying to say like it was a good listen i'll list on the on the way it was so easy it was tight it was just easy and they they fucking get along it was dope and it was like that's what podcasting can do we don't need these stupid fucking beefs and again I'm guilty of it as well But we thought we needed the beefs Because we came from the radio world Podcasting isn't that Podcasting is the fucking Avengers

It's the community I don't want to say echo chambers because I don't mean it politically But you're just kind of in a silo in the internet These are the people that I know and like And that's all I need I'm happy in this silo So you would think you're good But there's a ton of other shit and a bunch of other silos

that would be great. Rogan got this massive silo. Him, D'Elia, whoever else. All funny. You're good. But there's also Charlemagne, Andrew, whoever in this silo. Yeah.

But Rogan's almost different, though, because for Dele and those guys, it's more comedy-based, but Rogan's just like, he's like the general podcast. As soon as you go on Apple, Spotify, whatever, him and Joe Budden. He's New York Times. That's the genius of stand-ups.

Only a stand-up can do that, I think. 100%. I mean, we're talking about, the reach is insane. I mean, it's essentially what the tonight show was. I didn't realize what the reach was. It's essentially what the tonight show was. The reach was 16 million people an episode. That's so crazy. He goes, he texts me, he episode. That's so crazy.

He goes, he texts me. He goes, that's friends numbers. Son, it's friends numbers. That's network TV when your show is killing it numbers. So think about that. Right. He was like, oh, but he's like, you're on a list. I go, what do you mean?

I'm like, you're definitely anybody I text is on a list. I go, what do you mean a list? He goes, like, you know, CIA shit. They're definitely, anybody I text is on a list. I go, what do you mean a list? He goes, like, you know, CIA and shit. He goes, you can't have 16 million people listen to your thing and then people want to make sure the information that's going out there is okay. You're not allowed to have that much influence within a country and in the world without the government going, we're just going to observe.

That shit made me anxious listening to it. Oh, sorry. My phone, ever since I came back And we met with the With the UFO guy UFO guy Alright so the episode After me Son this week

Has been so crazy This week has been So fucking crazy I can imagine So after Rogan Right The next day He has

A guy named Bob Lazar On Sounds familiar Yes he is the He's the guy Who started basically the Area 51 conspiracy theories. He is a scientist who claims to have worked at Area 51 and worked on alien aircraft. And his job was to, what's it called, reverse engineer it. So essentially figure out how it works.

And he was brought there and he left left they fired him and he whistle blew and in 89 it was you know this crazy story about ufos and from then on area 51 has become part of this pop culture okay he came to do the episode the next day so we went out to dinner with him the night before and i swear to god my phone battery is 50% less than it has been. I swear. Now, I don't know if that's my phone trash or if I'm being trashed. I don't know what it is. But I promise you, my phone battery does not work no more. You're for sure being trashed.

Yeah! I'm not going to not believe Kaz anymore. I'm going to just believe Kaz when he says some shit. Thank you. That's all I wanted, bro. Hey, man, you earned it. Fuck. It took a while, but goddamn. I'm going to let you. That's all I wanted, bro. That's all I wanted. Hey, man, you earned it. Fuck.

It took a while, but goddamn. I'm going to let you read me out. I was wrong. But it was a crazy fucking thing. What is your guys' theory on UFOs? Oh, I've always believed there's aliens. I believe there's aliens, yeah. It would be ignorant to believe we're the only living species on this one planet.

100%. As big as this shit is. New York Times is reporting that there has been suspicious activity that people swear as aliens. Yep. Oh, I feel like there's aliens among us. Okay. They're here.

It's just that they're just fucking harmless and don't want to- Ed is an alien. He's a sort of alien. Yeah, no. I believe they're among us. I think they're just chilling, peaceful people. They probably saw movies and were like, oh, shit. I don't're among us. I think they're just like chilling, peaceful people. Like they probably saw movies and like, oh shit, I don't want that to happen. Right.

And they just play their position. I haven't thought through enough to say what are they like. Somebody on the ticket always talks about it and goes, why do we assume their life size? Why can't they be so small we can never see them? They're microscopic, floating around right now, gathering whatever information. The bug in this room, that bug is a fucking CIA bug. That's why he's not dying. That's a drone.

That's why he's circling Kaz the whole time. I was like, who's the new guy? I thought he was like African. Yeah, for sure. Kaz checks all the boxes. I'm not that African. I'll just fly, just run around. I didn't even think about it like that That's what I was saying

I said it before Somebody in the comments Said it to you I was not I was worried The thing is He's not African He's got flies around

So So here's my thing With this guy Who's claiming to have worked On the On the UFOs It's a tricky Because he breaks The whole thing thing down it's very believable

in the way he's breaking it down right but there's part of me that's like i i this is the thing that's hardest for me to believe right if you're the united states government and you uh come upon ufos right and they're alleging or he's alleging that these ufos have been here for thousands of years. They're just, like, dugging them up, essentially. Oh, like their bodies? Not the aliens, but the actual craft, spacecraft. Oh, shit.

Which is more believable for me, that they came thousands of years ago, checked some shit out, maybe left it there, whatever. Here's my thing. You get this UFO. You need a reverse engineer to see if we can work it out. Right?

You have access to all the most famous scientists in the world and you're going to hire a guy named Bob from the best. Why wouldn't you hire a guy named Bob?

It's a perfectly inconspicuous name. You know how many Bobs there are? No, no, no, no. What I'm trying to say is he's not an elite MIT scientist. Do you know what I'm saying? You get the's not an elite mit scientist do you know what i'm saying you go you get the best of the like um you know america's you know nasa the program nasa is started by a bunch of nazis right literally stole we beat germany in world war ii

all their scientists we took and they started nasa and once we didn't get russia used to start their space program because the germans like way ahead of us in terms of like not only hating jews but also but also science right they were like way ahead of us right so the hatred took them very far yeah it's a motivator i was about to say like hate is the biggest motivator in the world they didn't have podcasts they only had podcasts they could come together right but so my point is if you're willing to go anywhere you want to get scientists I don't think you go with that guy So maybe what they're doing is like setting them up on purpose you discriminate against guys named Bob No, he's coming against people who don't hate Jews come on

I don't think either No, I mean like you're gonna get a guy from the fucking greatest school and the best whatever not just some run-of-the-mill scientist he wasn't the most elite scientist is what i'm trying to say so he's like the george hill of scientists he's gonna get an answer you know what i mean so look point is matthew stafford of scientists not elite but you're like pretty good yeah maybe lower he's got a good bifocal okay all right wait but did he say he was the only one working on it? So they work in pairs. And everything is cut up so you only know what you know. And this is how they control information.

What I'm trying to say is if I'm the government and I want to get fake information out there, what I would do is get a run-of-the-mill scientist who is so willing to believe anything like a spaceship or like a UFO could exist. And I would present him with these things, right? And I would say, hey, can you reverse engineer it? Full well knowing that this guy is going to eventually tell some people and it's going to leak. And now you have information leaking during the fucking Cold War. It's going to leak.

And now you have information leaking during the fucking Cold War. And now Russia is hearing from news stories that America has UFO. Interesting. And I'm Russia. I'm like, okay, Rocky won. You know what I mean? I don't need that. I like that theory.

What if he's like, he could be like the Aaron Paul of the scientists, though, if they were compares. He's like the fucking, he's like the meth head who's kind of like oh there's aliens and like the real fucking mastermind like the real like brian cranson motherfucker is like still there really killing shit i don't know maybe that's what i'm saying he could be the fuck up what were you saying i was saying he's still alive that's a little weird so that's the other thought i had i don't believe this uh what's the word precludes aliens from existing no no aliens can exist aliens can exist for sure but i do think there is something like wouldn't he be dead if he's really out here blowing whistles on aliens so here's the

thing here's the thing about here's the thing about blowing whistles right that's why i don't think it's about aliens i think he was doing something else and i think he used aliens to protect himself like i think he was working on some wild shit for the government right and he was like i'm out i don't want to deal with this no more and then he comes and says hey i was working on an alien spacecraft and now the government goes this motherfucker okay if we kill him everybody believes aliens are real if we don't him, at least he's not saying the real shit he was working on.

So we'll keep him alive and it keeps the secret that he knows and that we know. Don't they still die though? I think they only die when you're going to fuck the bread up.

And that alien lie doesn't fuck the bread up. And to be fair, if what you're saying is true, they're looking at like, this is like the vintage alien shit. Like it's like the throwback shit. Right. It's not like the holy shit. It's the they're looking at like, this is like the vintage alien shit. It's like the throwback shit. It's not like the holy shit.

It's the TBT aliens. Yeah, it's like the TBT aliens. You don't need the old shit. They've probably been, probably the real deal. That's how we got the iPhone. You know what alien shit? What we have from the aliens is those shirts they give to African kids when you lose in the finals. You know what I mean?

Okay, we got the bootleg merch. We got the bootleg merch. We got all them Oh, okay. We got the bootleg merch. We got the bootleg merch. We got all them Buffalo Bills. We got the Atlanta Falcons. We got the Atlanta Falcons and Buffalo Bills UFOs and shit.

Like, if we pull up on aliens with that shit, they'll be like, what? It's the M300. That's a saucer? Y'all throwing saucers? For real?

Is that like a 300? It's a Chrysler 300. We got the Chrysler 300, son. I've been doing like a Rolls Royce until you pulled up the real Rolls Royce. Real talk. They're Maybach UFOs up there. They're Rolls Royce UFOsler 300. We got the Chrysler 300, son. I've been doing like a Rolls Royce until you pulled up a real Rolls Royce. Real talk. They're Maybach UFOs up there.

They're Rolls Royce UFOs out there. We pulling up with a big grill thinking we got something. They're like, yo, we discovered not. They're looking at you like, yo, you got the motherfucking, the Super Nintendo alien shit. That's 10,000 light years old. Son, what are you talking about? That shit is lost. Are you kidding me?

That's probably not even like an old alien. It's probably like a teenager alien making fun of them like you got the wax shit what the fuck is wrong with you it's those new balance alien ships and they're looking at us like like we don't realize how stupid it is right they're just like hold up you would fly something that isn't even aerodynamic like like the whole you know how they fly The alien spaceships You think it goes up And then flies flat Right Right No

It goes up And then folds Forward Oh shit So imagine a plate Folding 90 degrees Yo And it's pushed back

Now that is the least Aerodynamic thing In the entire world You're just flying forward As a sail It looks wild though It looks wild It does look wild

This entire combo Is making me uncomfortable Imagine me My phone dead I was about to say I don. Imagine me, my phone dead. I was about to say, I don't know. Look at my phone, dead. This would be a great time to switch subjects, especially after Rogan.

Man, what do you mean? No, I'm just nervous. Oh, you think they're going to get on you? Oh, yeah, they will. For what? He black! Goddamn, man! Let me tell you something. I'm naturally paranoid, bro.

No black man will ever die because of UFO conspiracy. I promise you. Because they're not caring about that. Exactly. That's the exact reason why they would kill me. They know that y'all not crazy enough. He was talking about aliens and shit. Black people not crazy enough.

Only white people crazy enough to go that far with it. Black people already don't trust the government. White people really believe that they could say some shit to change the world. You know what I mean? White people really out here like, I'm going to spread this information. Black people are like, security guards will kill you. The government is definitely going to do it. The first thing we say is, I ain't seen nothing.

The first thing any black man says when they see a crime they wasn't supposed to see is, I ain't seen shit. An alien ship could drop in the middle of Compton and you see all the black dudes look and then just see walk their way away from that alien. I didn't see nothing. I don't know what y'all talking about. Alien who? Alien who?

R.I.P. Nipsey. That's all I know. Real talk. I ain't got no beef with them aliens out there, B. Anyway, all right, now you can read me out. Woo! Yeah, told it feel good to be right. Let's talk about sports.

This is sports. I know what I'm saying. Hit it, Cass. Go, go, go. Hit it, Cass. You want to load it up? Do you want to load it up? Apparently, as has been said on this podcast by one of us.

You can guess which one. Yes. I think you can all guess which one. The police officer did not get punched or shoved by Masai. Don't say! What else happened? He said that Masai did have a credential. I could have sworn we had the video of the credential.

The only people I believe less than cops is Nigerians. So I don't know if I trust you or Masai about any of this shit. I mean, it's almost like police will just lie about some shit when they are over-aggressive and neither cover it up. Maybe. Maybe. Maybe. It seems like that's a little bit more believable than 50,000 people at the NBA finals not recording somebody getting punched in the face. Takes a liar to know a liar.

I bet. Takes a liar to know a liar. I bet. Takes a liar to know a liar. Well, in this case. Masai probably asked that fucking cop for his email. My thing is. Try to sell him a pool table. Real talk. Real talk.

If you've never dealt with lying ass cops before. This is the life of Al Far. It's a lot like dealing with lying ass Nigerians. Yo, it is. Only you lose way less money. No, it's actually not. This is the life of Alphard. It's a lot like dealing with lying ass Nigerians. Yo, it is. Only you lose way less money. No, it's actually not. Potentially your life. You actually walk away.

We may take like, you know, we may sell you some fake shit, but like, a couple thousand dollars, you don't die. Yeah, that's true. You're right.

That's another thing, but you're right. Goddamn, man. If you're going to blatantly lie about that shit in the fucking, it's the NBA finals. Right. It's in Oakland.

It's the last game in the Oracle Arena. Everybody in the world has photos and videos. So why didn't they come out? What do you mean why they come out? Because there was no shove. There was no push. They said it. So why wasn't there video of the no push?

Why would there have to be? We're not going to do the thing that you do when you try to talk backwards. Can you play that X-Files music? We're not doing that. This push is the UFO of the NBA. First off, the cop was talking about he had a jaw injury and he could have returned to work. He can't.

Because of the aggression that he showed his credential with, even though originally they said he didn't have a credential or he didn't present the right one or whatever. He didn't. I just want to see how far you're going to go. The earth is flat. To believe the police. The earth is flat.

This makes me very uncomfortable around you guys, how much you trust police. Yo, we be trusting them, bro. I don't. Nah, they work out. They work out for me. They don't, bro. The they work out for me no bro the only cops i trust are the ones that like shoot hoops in bad neighborhoods

that's the only ones i'm like ah that guy's all right yo what if those cops are actually the worst like you know how when the dudes gotta be the worst you know how when the dudes are feminists like he's really out here raping chicks but he's using that as a smoke screen? You know what I mean? What if those cops are hooping in the hood? They're like, ha ha, they're not going to know that I'm shooting these kids later. What if that shit is a complete lie?

That's probably part of the contingency plan. Like a black kid breaks his ankles in on the ground, he just shoots the kids in the foot. Springer some triangle. What you don't know about these basketball games is they are playing for their life. When those black kids lose, they get shot afterwards. You don't know about these basketball games is they are playing for their life. When those black kids lose, they get shot afterwards. You don't know that. This is the truth. How do you guard somebody with a gun on them, though?

What? Honestly, how do you guard somebody with a gun on them? How do you guard Magic Johnson? The same way, delicately. You're not playing lockdown defense on a guy with a Glock. Glockdown defense. Glockdown defense. Glockdown defense. No way, dude.

You fucking fall back. There's a reason why there's always distance. Nobody blocks the top shot. Yeah. That's the most disrespect you get in the street. Can't got that. That's it. But at the same time, the fact that they're getting any elevation.

I mean, that belt weighs a lot. Have you felt that belt? All cops are very bottom heavy. Yeah? They're all like the waist and the fucking Batman utility belts that they wear, whatever the fuck it is. Walking around with quads, bro. Yeah.

Yeah. They're carrying that shit around. I've never seen them dunk, though. Cops are dead. They're explosive. Anyway, so, all right. You got that out of your system? It's fine.

Whatever. Cops are wild. What else we got? Can we talk about Free and LeVar Ball? Can we talk about Howl Monday? Oh, yeah. We can definitely talk about that shit. Can we talk about Free and LeVar Ball?

Were you here when we talked about this Friday? We did. We did. man... Oh, yeah, we can definitely talk about that shit. Can we talk about Free and LeVar Ball? Were you here when we talked about this Friday? We did. We did a little bit. So, Akash, your thoughts. He was the first one to be like, yo, that was it?

I don't like this shit at all. I don't like this Molly whatever the fuck her name is. Kareem? However. Molly Kareem. And maybe in the moment I can get you

to take some shit the wrong way. But then afterward all you gotta say is, yo, I can see how I misunderstood that. That's all she has to do. She has to just say, honestly, I can see you take some shit the wrong way, but then afterward all you gotta say is yeah I can see how I misunderstood that that's all she has to do she has to just say honestly I could see how I misunderstood that in the moment. I'm sorry and this all goes away, and I'm not a lavar fan I don't dislike the guy intensely, but I don't like him right y'all love him

Yeah He got done so fucking dirty as you said as my exact thought was he was just saying a sense You can switch gears with me anytime. He didn a sentence you can switch gears with me anytime he didn't say you can switch gears with me anytime yeah he didn't call her sweetheart he didn't call her boo he called her nothing well people were talking about the the hand gesture that he did like the fucking the shift gears whatever and then they showed like an episode maybe like from two three years ago he does the exact same thing it was like switch gears same exact thing yeah i saw that episode i could totally like i 100 agree with you i Her pause. I can totally say, in the moment And then Jameel Hill, who

like her, that's fine, but she does do this. She will what's the word? Politicize something. Right. Kudos to Molly Karim for standing up to LeVar Ball's sexist comments. Throw gas on the flame. I've seen her do this to Dez about a harmless fucking

pizza tweet before Right She be doing this Those two together Made this a huge deal All they gotta do Is backtrack it My literal only thing

About that That I could see Where they're coming from And I tweeted this And somebody made me see From a different point of view So shout out to I forgot who it was

Right But he was like Would LeVar Ball Have said that to Stephen A or Max Like what do you say Stephen A You can switch gears with me Anytime

No he'd be meaner We'd pause it to death, right? We'd be like, oh, pause. That's a little while. Okay,

first of all, first of all, first of all, yes, maybe he wouldn't say that, right? But at the same time, there are female hosts

that get spoken to differently in many different ways. For example, if a female host has a sports opinion that's stupid, Stephen A doesn't go, that's preposterous that's one of the

dumbest things i've ever heard he's a lot more delicate when he's speaking exactly exactly if i may molly if i may so if you are getting dealt with baby gloves or whatever that term is what is it called maybe whatever child's gloves whatever the fuck it is there are going to be things where you deal with the female host a little bit differently that's fair yes maybe he wouldn't use that you could switch gears with me anytime that being said that line is just something that's somewhat charming that you could use with women i don't think it has too much sexual innuendo would you feel a way if a guy said that to your girl maybe maybe yeah maybe and Yeah, that's another thing. And I could see myself reacting, but if I looked at it again

and I watched his language after, his body language after was locked in. Right. There was no, it didn't seem sexual to me at all. Yeah. I know I'm not a girl,

but it just seemed to me like he's just talking. He's like, no, come on. Here's the thing. Let's look at it like this. Who's somebody that we hate hearing them talk? I don't like LeVar.

Oh, I love LeVar. That's why I'm biased. But that's a good example. What? No, I love hearing him talk. It's most entertaining. I'm talking about someone who we truly do not like hearing them talk about sports, their opinions. Oh, what's his face?

Who's the chick that looks like Jonah Hill that's always on ESPN? Ramona Shelburne. Ramona Shelburne. Come on, son. I like Ramona Shelburne. Come on, son. I like Ramona Shelburne, dude. Ramona Windhorse. You know who she look like? You know the catcher in the sandlot?

That's who Ramona Shelburne look like. Pull up the catcher in the sandlot and Ramona Shelburne. You throw a ball like a girl. And Ramona's like, I am a girl. Did you guys not know that I'm a girl? You're terrible. Oh, come on, man.

Come on, man. Oh, Jesus. Anyway, the point. What's the point? What are you going to do? It looks like Ramona Shelburne got sharted on. Doesn't it? Doesn't it look like Ramona Shelburne was about to eat some ass and then the

guy just sharted all over her face not a full shit but just a spray diarrhea wow oh my god he looks like measles ramona okay get vaccinated okay that's just mean anyway so if she came and said some a little bit disrespectful shit i think i would be i mean i don't care you know me i'm not triggered by this shit but i think i would be less forgiven i think we have one of these situations where it's like we love michael jackson so much not you but the general population loves michael jackson so much that we're willing to look past these allegations. Yeah, I am.

Continue. Continue. Still valid. That's me. Thriller still gets played. And then I think that we love LeVar so much that we're so entertained by LeVar. We're like, I don't want to miss out on that.

Therefore, what he said wasn't disrespectful enough for him to get fired. There's a little bias here. little bias here say again i love this i didn't see his response because he's no longer an espn what do you say uh somebody called him outside of the drew league and they would ask him it's like oh how do you feel about getting banned from espn he's like how are you gonna ban me i don't work for them and he was just like uh you know i would never hit on molly carom you know i would never hit on Molly Karam you know I didn't mean anything sexual by it the only way I would ever

hit on Molly Karam is if she broke into my house in the middle of the night and I thought she was the boogeyman like hit on yeah hang on wow

which is like way to double down I don't know if you want to double down on the DB double down with physical abuse now you're not only sexually abusing her

you are physically abusing her and you know what I think that's a reasonable time to hit a woman. I'm not saying that you should. Listen, you never hit a woman. If she, Alex, if a woman breaks into your house. What was that movie? Set It Off with those five chicks?

Queen Latifah? Queen Latifah. First of all. Queen Latifah. Latifah, take that punch. Maybe not straight right, but you could hook off on Latifah. I think you could hook off. Look, you got four girls coming

to your house try to rob you yeah you they got masks on you don't even know they're bitches you don't even know they're bitches they got the full mask on and you start hooking off on them all this now this and you don't even notice their you know vivica bitch no no no no because you look at them like it's dark but you kind of see them swaying with their hips. You're like, damn, that guy got body. But whatever. But whatever. He ain't going to steal my jewelry.

You know what I mean? Yo, I would love to watch a LeVar Ball set it off crossover. Bro. But it's trying to rob LeVar Ball's house. Boom. You have them break into your house. You're going to start swinging on someone that breaks into your house. I think that's a completely reasonable time.

Absolutely. Right? Yeah If you don't know that they're a woman Yeah What if you do? What if they coming in the heels You hear the heels clacking But you see that they're starting to steal all your shit

They're going after all your good shit They're trying to take your fucking TV off the wall You're not gonna start swinging? And then you call the nice truthful cops There you go There you go. There you go. Come on, yo.

Nah, so with the whole LeVar Ball thing, man. You wouldn't knock on? Huh? No, I wouldn't swing on Latifah just because I don't want to get beat up by her. What about the little one? Jada could get fucked up.

Tell Will I said it. Don't tell Jada I'm actually not confident I can beat her up either. up three wishes you gon want is for me to stop whooping that X all right that's how this shit go we don't have we don't have the mic on, do we? No. Come say hi. Come say hi. Just say hello. Come say hi.

What up, son? You know fashion? Yo, look at Tax Stone, little brother. Let's go, man. Come bend down a little bit so you're in the frame. So you're in the frame. We don't do pause here. We do fast forward.

This is premium TV. Is there anything we want to say? What's up, internets? Nothing. Listen, the last couple episodes have been on fire, man. Thank you. I really like it, man. I appreciate it.

Lisa Ann one, you seem to get your little dick hard. Indians don't got big dicks. They don't have big dicks? No. They don't? I haven't tried to tell people, man. They don't believe us. It's a lie.

It's a lie, bro. No, you think that your dick is bigger than Akash's? Absolutely. Are you 100% sure? You got 10 inches? Italians. Solid Poland spring. I bet nobody wants to know this, but Italians, you got to speak into the microphone.

These mics are actually good that they can hear me. Just speak into the microphone. Italians are known to be good lovers. Yeah. You know? Now, Dominicans and Puerto Ricans, they're good to be good pussy eaters. Right. But Italians are very good romantic.

What the fuck are you talking about? This is what we're talking about. Okay, look, ready? I want to know, do you think you have a bigger hog than that guy right there? There's one way we can find out. I mean this. Listen, 7,500 patrons.

No, no. Where are you at now? Wait for it. 6,000 something. 7,500 patrons. No, no. Where are you at now? Wait for it. We're at 6,000 something. 7,500 patrons. You suck Akashi's dick. Wait for it. Wait for it, bro.

Wait for it. Wait for it. Wait for it. He sucks your dick. It's 69. And whoever gives up first. Okay? Whoever gives up.

Whoever gags first. How do you do this every week? I'm just saying. I go to church a lot. I thought we were going to have a dick measuring concert. We are with your throat! It's the best measuring! That's the best way to measure a dick!

Yabba dabba doo! It's a gag ruler. This is the way I measure my dick. You know the cable vision remote? Yeah. Yeah, you take the batteries out of that. You won't go into that shit. I've passed that. Yeah, yeah you take the batteries out of that in the fucking frame. Sit on Andrew's lap. Come on. Let's not get comfy. Come on. Let's sit on his lap. You guys are bad friends. Guys, stop it.

Can you just sit on my mouth? Just at the end of the day. Just at the end of the day. Sit on my mouth, son. That's it. This is what happens. What happens? You're going to like it. That's what's going to happen.

You're going to fucking like it. You got a lot of gray in your beard. It's okay. I'll bring back the black hair. You just got to sit on my mouth. Listen, who you know is going to be sitting on the mouth? Alex. Alex already done his time.

Wow. It's Sweden, bro. Wow. That was. Listen, go. There's an international tour coming up for Andrew Schultz. Yeah. Okay, tell them where you're going.

All right. I'm going to go right to your gooch. Start right there. I'm going to work it up. But does anyone understand what's happening? Alex is going back out. I don't understand what's happening at all. Oh, God.

That is true. That is true. Do you trust him? I don't know how I'm going back over to you. First of all, don't let him distract us from what's going on, okay? We're talking about you guys sucking to this dick. Okay? Don't adjust your shirt.

Take your fucking jacket off. Let's feel that meat No There's two Oh boy Drink that water There's two evenly length tables We got a pen right here Just roll it out

You just took a sip of that water Okay You just made your throat A slip and slide The jacket's coming off Why are you taking off clothes Pete? Oh shit He's ready

He just showed the cannon bro Oh gosh He just showed the cannon, bro. Akash, he just showed the cannon. Welcome to the gun show. Real talk. Okay, so Akash. I'm down to fuck Pete. I don't know what you're talking about.

I'm ready. What you talking about, son? He's like, no need to convince me. Akash is about that life, bro. Has he ever had an Italian? Have you ever had an Italian? No, son. I'm not gay, dog. Stop saying weird shit. Wait. Why you ever had an Italian? Nah, son. I'm not gay, dog.

Stop saying weird shit. Now you're trying to hit on me. You're the one talking about fucking. You walked in and talked about sucking cocks and fucking guys. I know you did time, dog. Don't let it get to you. That was a good time. Stop taking it with you. That was a good time.

No, but for real, Pete, we need to have an intervention with all your gay jokes. Because what we try to do on this show is we try to have a very straight, heterosexual show. And every time you come in here, I feel like you're always talking about being romantic with men's mouths. This is true. This is three for three at this point. Am I wrong? I don't see why you're wrong. Before this, we're just sitting here.

We're talking, right? We're talking about LeVar Ball. We're talking about LeVar Ball. You come in here and immediately it's like, I want to gobble some fucking dicks. You're just talking about gobbling dicks. You see, this is the first time ever. Don't go nowhere. This is the first time ever Switchgears has been used sexually.

Try your hardest. I want you to try your hardest to have a conversation with us, okay, without talking about spitting on a dude's chest and rubbing your balls on it. I never did that. See, that's the problem. It's so vivid. That's the problem. What a vivid, what a vivid, vivid.

You've seen this. You've done this a lot. You go away. You go away. Bro, he just mops his balls on the chest like a car wash. He just lands like that. Pete, you walked right into this, man. I'm the boss.

So that's a new tarmac. It's time. He's sweating. Dude, your back is sweaty, bro. It's because it's hot in here. Real talk. So can we have a conversation that has nothing to do with gay sex? Is that possible?

That's all I'm asking. Just for framing purposes. It's not gay, bro. It's Andrew Claus. Okay. Andrew Claus. I'm here all night I'm here all night Dude, okay, so, alright, you were saying something Remember, we were texting something on the phone

You were saying you What was it about? You were like, we should do ass to ass What was it? What was the exact thing you were saying? It was ass to ass, was that the thing? Oh, ass to mouth? How you got sucked in? What the it? What was the exact thing you were saying? It was ass to ass? Was that the thing? Oh, ass to mouth?

How you got sucked in? What the fuck? Put your hands on the table so I listen. I don't understand how he gets sucked in when you're using one sucking thing. What do you mean ass to? What are you talking about? You're in the whirlwind. You're in the whirlwind.

Don't leave us. You're in the whirlwind. Okay, real talk. Don't go nowhere. Okay, good. We're getting the whirlwind. Don't leave us, Pete. You're in the whirlwind. That's all you're hearing now. Okay, real talk. Don't go nowhere. Okay, good. We're getting on your knees, aren't we? Yo.

Hey, that one's all good. Alhamdulillah. What you praying for on your knees, Pete? God, I don't know the response to that one. What do you say when you say alhamdulillah? I don't know, son. Shake it with me and do your job Cooked it up Yeah

Head of Shaw Head of Shaw Yeah and then you say Actually think about Russian That was funny Russian sounds like Arabic Pete shut the fuck up dog What you over here

What you over here Yammering about dog What the fuck You still talking son Take the knee son What the fuck are you saying Alright we're sharing Listen

Listen Listen Let's talk to me son Let's talk to me son Let's go Let are you saying? All right, we're sharing a mic. Listen, listen. Listen, let's talk to me, son. Premier Pete is on one knee. Talk to me, son. With his arm over Andrew's lap right now. Talk to me, son. I was trying to make a point before he got hostile. We're like 66% of the way where we want to get there.

What we should do is... Hold on, hold on, hold on. Hold on, hold on, hold on. Let's set up something where me and Akash have like an MMA fight. How about we do this? How about we do this? How about we do this? You guys get hard and try to stick your dick as far as you can into a Subway sandwich roll. Okay?

And then we'll see at which point the dough stops moving out of the way. And that's the guy who has the longer dick. That's true. And then we'll use it for a sandwich and eat it. All right. Wait. No? No?

We don't do that? What will we do? I'll do it. Will we not do that? I'll do it. That sounds like a great idea. Listen, you walked into this, bro. Yeah, but I didn't think I was walking into this.

What did you think you were walking into? What the fuck did you think you were walking into? Fuck. I'm mud wrestled as fuck. You understand? You will be mud wrestled. That's what it's called. When you put your face in that butthole.

How do you always try to not be gay and then say some wild gay shit? Yeah, you really be mud wrestling. Mud wrestle, bro? No, no, no. Yeah, yeah. Do a little MMA. Yeah. Don't you want to lick the chicken gizzard?

MMA fighters don't mud wrestle, bro. Mud wrestlers, I do a little mud wrestling. You mud wrestle like for real? When you're fucking dudes? I do mud wrestle. You've done it before? You've mud wrestled before? No, no, no.

But I'll do it straight out the mud. That's what we'll call it. Oh, straight out the mud. Okay, that's good marketing. Okay. As opposed to straight in the butt like you normally do. Yo. I wish he was away with me.

Real talk? Yeah, but you do. Wait a minute. By away, do you mean like a trip to Cancun? Or do you mean like a... In the penitentiary. When I had my times back in the day, what did I do? I paid my service to...

Paid your debt to society. Yes, there we go, Kaz. Thank you, Kaz. If he was there, he would have been used as a rag doll. He said your butt is currency. Stop hitting on me, Pete. God damn, son. I'm not a fuck.

Yeah, tell me. Tell me. Tell me. Hold on. Hold on. Is this what you call a date? Yeah, yeah. Go, go, go.

No, I'm just saying, you know, the jail would have been different. I'm going to start whacking off right now. Sit down. Sit down. Sit down. Sit down. Sit down. Sit down.

Just fucking relax, bro. Okay, keep talking. No, tell me, what would happen at jail? What do you think would happen at jail? No, if Akash was there, I'm just saying. He would bring a different flavor. Whoa, whoa, whoa. All right. All right.

Yo! Yo, you better. I thought you were going to tell me. I thought you were going to tell me. You asked this whole thing. I thought you were right in the position. You was right. You got right in the position.

Keep going, Pete. Keep going. Pete, keep going. Keep telling us your story. Pete, Pete, we want to hear the prison story. Your underarm your story. Pete, Pete, we want to hear the prison story. Your underarm hair is mad long. Pete, we want to hear your prison story. His underarm hair is mad long.

Oh, yeah. Pete, Pete, we want to hear your prison story. Hold on. We want to hear your prison story. Oh, god. All right, all right, all right. All right. God damn it.

We're fucking sure. Oh, fuck, man. Oh, my god. Holy shit. Oh, my god. Pete, stop trying to get me to suck your dick, son. What are you fucking talking about, man. Oh, my God. Holy shit. Oh, my God. Pete, stop trying to get me to suck your dick, son. What are you fucking talking about, man? God damn.

All right, Pete, Pete, come back. Just a little dick sucking. I'm putting it on my show. Listen, if y'all think this is wild, you got to hear us on Premium Peace Podcast. I got to do a big plug because I don't know if I had sugar that day. I don't know if Akash had some sugar that day. Maybe Kaz had some sugar that day. I was chilling.

We were being absurd. What's the name of the app so they can look for it, Pete? It's called Flagrant 2. Premium Pete Show, Flagrant 2 episode. I'm putting my shirt back on. You got right back on his knee. He's not getting turned on?

He's comfortable again. Okay, so. I thought you had a white shirt on a second ago. No. Okay. I did. You blacked out, bro. All the fucking blood in your head rushed to your dick.

Molly on the champagne. So, Pete, is there anything that you could tell us? Is there any words of wisdom? I know you have a lot of wisdom. You're a father, okay? You're a father of two. I was joining the club, by the way. You're in.

Congratulations. Thank you, bro. I appreciate that. Yes, sir. But it's about Pete right now. All right, Pete. I'm my fault. I'm just joking.

Okay, you're a father of two. You're a successful entrepreneur, a successful businessman. What type of advice can you give the asshole army? What type of advice can you give the asshole army? What type of advice can you bestow on them? If you could give them a couple bars, if you could give them a couple bars, tell them. I would say never. It's funny because I never see you serious, but I'll be funny serious, but I'll be serious. Never ever listen to other people tell you what you can't do.

I'm going to tell you why. If you try to explain to you people tell you what you can't do i'm gonna tell you why yeah if you try to explain to you say you just did this right meaning the podcast yeah and you try to explain to your mom like patreon all that shit nobody would understand point taken is a lot of kids i grew up with when i told them i was gonna do podcasts and they're like, bro, what are you getting? No, I'm just meaning like, they were like, why would you,

like, nobody wants to hear you or like, you didn't go to radio, you didn't go to broadcasting school for this. Yeah. So,

the asshole army could be very successful just by doing, following, following what they want to do. That serious. Blocking out the haters. Absolutely.

Absolutely. And, you know, I mean, look, Akash has the Blocking out the haters. Absolutely. Absolutely. And, you know, I mean, look, Akash has the smallest dick in the world, and he's winning. Let me ask you a question. You're right. I mean this sincerely. You're right.

I've always wanted it, right? With a smaller dick, right? How do you suck on that? You tweeze it. What the fuck is he talking about? You? You tweeze it. Don't tweeze it. You just... Akash don't need to use condoms. Put a piece of gum on it.

Stop trying to get me to fuck raw, you fucking weirdo, dog. Wait, he said put a piece of gum on it. Okay. I don't know what that means either. It sounded sexy. Hey, Pete. I don't know how you guys use protection in jail, but that shit is not going to fly here in a free world. Okay?

We're not putting Trident on his cock. Well, the point I was making is it's so small. We get the point you were making. You don't need a condom. You just put a piece of gum. No, we got it. We just didn't laugh. Oh, you didn't like it? No, it's fine. I just thought is so small. We get the point you were making. You don't need a condom. You just put a piece of gum. No, we got it. We just didn't laugh. Oh, you didn't like it?

No, it's fine. I just thought it was sticky and I thought maybe it was why you want to get stuck in your ass. I didn't know. Is this part of the matador tour? This is.

Okay. Yeah. Go ahead. I mean, everybody. Gotta help us all. You trying to get the horns? You trying to get the stipend for bringing people on?

Gotta help us all. Oh, yeah. Big ass stipend. My dick. All right, listen. I think that, you know, we've probably let this run its course, the gay jokes that we've done here.

That being said, I do think that we've left it undecided as to who has a larger cock, you or Akash. Okay? Conventional wisdom would tell us since you're Italian, are you from Sicily?

Sicily. What did you say? Sicily. I mean, from Sicily? Sicily. What did you say? I mean, real Italians pronounce it Sicily. Easy way to figure it out. He got butter chicken. Stop, stop, stop, stop, stop. I know you're going to say it. I got a sausage and peppers. I know you do. I know. But in Sicily, they don't have sausage.

What's Sicily? Sicily. That's how you say it in Italian. You don't know nothing about Italian stuff, Pete. I grew up in Staten Island. Even I knew that shit. Sicily. Sicilia. Sicilia. It guess like it's not mozzarella it's mozzarella it's murder how do you say persune how do you say pursue for shoot but that's fucking idiot how do you say ice cream ice cream mozzarella and and people say mozzarella right so. So yeah, I could be wrong. But actually, I say guinea cheese. Wow.

Swiss cheese. Wow. Is that what it's called? No, there was a last point I was going to make for you. But the asshole, oh, that's what I was going to say. There's nobody that's gay that's part of the asshole army? Yes. There's plenty of gay people in the asshole army.

Hold on. Especially the one of our Akash is I'll have you know Akash is gay Okay This is a fast Come on

There's tons of gay people That follow Joe There's plenty of gays That are part of the asshole army Keep it loose The name of the army Is the asshole army You think we don't have gays

In the asshole army And they're appreciative Of the gay jokes on the show Might I add They're like Oh man you guys are fucking funny hey maybe they're not jokes thank you for swinging everybody i love you brother yo check out the premium pete podcast man premium pete show love you sir yes sir real talk andrew and uh kasha learn how yes sir real talk shoot the club up

damn son you are crazy hey you are crazy premium Pete ooh hey I'm my cousin Pete I'm my cousin son

Pete's just out here bullying Indians bro I know son motherfucking savage alright alright we're filming a podcast here we don't need to dap everybody up. God damn it. Okay, guys. I'll see you later. Where were we at?

I am sorry. I am sorry for that, guys. We just get so fucking horny when Pete comes in here. It's hard not to. If you saw him, you would get horny too. Akash, let's get folks a scan. Let's get back to what we were talking about. Molly and LaVar, are we done with it? Honestly? One quick notification.

Please. Do you think they were just looking for a reason? No, no, no. I think ESPN, do you think they were just looking for some buzz? Yep. So here's the thing. Buzz is very interesting. Buzz is very interesting. I think that for a while

they've been trying to say we got to stop reporting on lavar ball in the same way that some people say we got to stop reporting on trump because it only helps trump right so espn is going to be like let's stop reporting on on lavar ball if aaron rogers or tom brady has said you could change gears with me anytime he's not getting banned from ESPN. Yeah. Big fact. Right? So they cut off somebody that they could cut off. Good point. That wasn't valuable to them, right? Because they could.

Not valuable anymore. Not valuable anymore or didn't offer that much value, I guess. We'll see next year when LaMelo's lottery pin. I'm thinking further. They know how he reacts to things. So, oh, let's ban him. Let's see what he says. That is now the story arc.

Good point. And now they're going to make up. Win-win. And welcome back. And he's going to do most of the promotion for this situation. Win-win. Outrage. It's conversation.

100%. I think it's totally, totally valid. It's a win-win for ESPN. But all I'm saying is you're not going to keep that same energy because there was a clip that came out. I don't know if you saw it. I think it was Deion Sanders or somebody was trying to get Molly to

hike the ball to him. She's in a skirt. He's like, no, no, Molly, you hike it to him. She's just trying to hand it off. He goes, no, no, no, no, hike it, hike it. Basically saying bend over and shoot it between your legs. He tries a few times. He ain't getting fired. He didn't get fired. It is a very easy virtue signal.

You have someone that you're willing to cut off. And it's easy to go, we care about our employees. It wasn't an ESPN reporter, but somebody said to Rob Gronkowski something about, you have like 68 touchdowns, and he said something like, to a female, like, not 69, you wish it was something. Rob, joking Rob shit,

but nobody said anything about banning Rob. Gronk is big love of, oh, that's saying anything about banning Rob. Gronk is big level. Oh, that's just Gronk. Yeah, Gronk gets away with it for sure, but also ESPN could have virtue signaled right there and been like, well, you know what? Gronk is not welcome on our network anymore. Gronk is a big time athlete. We need Gronk. We need the Patriots.

We need Belichick. We need Brady. We need all that. I just hope they keep that same energy for the rest of everybody else, which they won't. And you know what's interesting is that as far as I'm concerned, and I'm sure something would have come out if that was the case, but LeVar is a married man. His wife, I believe, has cancer. Yes. And that's the one thing that jumped out at me first because I'm like, I'm a big baller bear and stand. I watch the show on Facebook.

And you see how much of a family man that mother so married guy wife has cancer has given us no signs at all that he's cheating on his wife has given us no signs at all that he's got other side chicks out there and please believe that if he did yeah somebody would be leveraging it in a fucking heartbeat especially right so it maybe he did say this even in a charming sexual way but if you know that the action is not behind it, then we can giggle. It's like when an old man says, hey there, cutie, to the waitress. That old man ain't fucking that waitress. It's your granddad, right?

So I think you could back off. I think ESPN took advantage of a political moment. No, I get it. They had a reason to do it, but at the same time, I just felt like it was just such a fucking overreaction. And I just wish somebody could just be like, hey, let's all be adults here. We know this wasn't what was meant. We're going to go back to normal.

So, Akash, what else we got? You seen the rap beef between Dame and Marvin Bagley? Yo. Woo. Marvin Bagley kind of had some bars. Yo, they both have bars. They both slap, dude. They both have bars. Yo. Woo. Marvin Bagley kind of had some bars. Yo, they both had bars. They both slapped, dude. They both had bars.

I was shocked. I didn't hear Dame's. I didn't hear Dame's. I didn't hear Dame's second track. He came out. He draped it back to back. He had two that night. Hold on.

So Dame, is the song on SoundCloud or is it? It was on SoundCloud. Wait for it. Meaning, can we listen to it without a copyright infringement or will we get in trouble? He's using the Dupie Freestyle. So we can't. That'll get picked up. Okay.

That was a freebie, too. That's not on Apple or iTunes or none of that shit. Oh, true. We might be able to play it. Yeah, Dupie Freestyle wasn't an official single, and it's not. It was hard. It's risque. It's risque.

But at the same time, yeah, so Marvin Bagley goes goes the first take talking about NBA draft shit what I don't know Max Kellerman stirs it up stirs it up nice and oh you think you could take the day man a little in the rap battle he's like take anybody out of drops a single Marvin Bagley drops a song like maybe like an hour after that happens and dames like tweeting up tweeting about him like as the game as the game as the show's going on. Marvin Bagley drops the record during the NBA draft. I think it was like the eighth and ninth pick.

Dave drops the record, blows up on Twitter. I'm thinking, and he sends out another link. I'm thinking, okay, maybe he just uploaded the album artwork or whatever. It's like, no, another diss record comes out after that. And they're both fired. All four of the records were. And everybody thought Bagley was done, buried, gone. And then he came back and he just slept. Bagley came back with some heat.

Came back with some heat. He had a line. I think Damian Lillard said something about his dad, which I think is true. Because I guess it was like some AAU shit, whatever. Because he went to his camp, whatever, Adidas. He's like, oh, I know you was asking me for some Damian Lillard kicks of you and your dad or whatever and then back we came back with a fire bar i might i might butcher the fuck out of this shit at least i got a dad he said he said something along the lines of like yeah i had them dames but them shits is whack i sent them back and you know now i'm with puma and my pockets

is fat or some shit like that i was like like, oh, hey. The beat was good. The flow was nice. The one thing he said is you've been a Marvin fan and nobody a Marvin fan. You literally just got here, bro. Son of the King's got like four fans. You know what I mean? Yeah. That's the one line I took exception with.

But other than that, it was hot. And they play each other four times a year. I love it. They should do this at the end of a game. I love the theater of this. I think it's good. I think it will get us interested in an otherwise unwatchable NBA game. Yes.

And that is the- For many reasons. The genius of story that we always talk about on the podcast. They put in all these dog shit games have to have story behind them i would not be if i was the guy was running the nba i'd have all these little beefs popping it is completely opposite to podcasting because when i was talking about how we all have unity it is conflict in its very nature yes it is competition yeah you are literally fighting against each other for a winner yeah It's a non-violent war

Yes, it is a non-violent, controlled war So why not heat the war up As much as you possibly can You have a pot of water Maybe you don't want it to boil But get it bubbling We want to get as close as we can So I think that

Every dogshit team in the west and East should get on Twitter and start barking because you know for that one game, them Kings are going to come in and they're going to play hard. I don't think you can overuse it, but yeah. It doesn't have to be rap. It could be something else. Whatever the beef is. But look what Embiid did, right?

Embiid's a little beef with the guy on the Pistons, the bum. What's the bum on the Pistons? Andre Drummond. Drummond, right? It's like now a little beef with the guy on the Pistons, the bum. What's the bum on the Pistons? Andre Drummond. Drummond, right? It's like now I'm actually. He's not a bum. He's okay. But now I'm actually interested in.

What was the thing? Your plus minus is trash? That was his. That was his go-to line. Something. But now I'm interested in an otherwise easy game. Yeah. The Sixers, right? Yeah.

I think you got to do this. Oh, this is for sure going to be on. When the Sixers. Sixers. When the Blazers play the this. Oh, this is for sure going to be on the... When the Sixers... Sixers. When the Blazers play the Kings next year, it's for sure going to be on ESPN.

They're not going to... That's not a league pass game. Right. You know what did kind of bother me? So the Marvin Bagley line bothered me, and I'm a damn fan.

Everybody knows this. I've been saying it better than Kyrie. But after you get swept, you just being loud. Like, you just got swept. And now you coming out with two diss tracks talking about don't fuck with me. It's like, bro, you just got swept And now you coming out With two diss tracks

Talking about Don't fuck with me It's like bro You just got swept Right Not by him Yeah Yeah but you just got swept

Like So There's a lot of big energy For somebody who I would Expect to have I expect you to have Last year's energy again Right

Last year you were in the Gym all the time Working on driving the lane All your insta stories You didn't achieve shit yet You didn't achieve shit yet you achieved something should we also say the same thing about Marvin

like why are you even talking yeah agreed also like you haven't proved anything in the league matter of fact I think he said that in his first year in the league

he was gonna win MVP that was his goal that was his goal yeah right he was like my first year in the league is gonna win MVP

was he even third in the voting Luca and Trey are gonna to be first and second. I don't even think he's third. DeAndre Ayton. Ayton's going to be third. The NBA awards are tonight. It's Luka, Trey, and Ayton.

I can't believe Ayton was even there. I didn't see a single highlight from him the entire year. Mitchell Robinson's better than him, bro. He might be. Deadass. Honestly, I thought Ayton was trash when I went to Summer League last year, and I spoke to my boys out there about it, and they said, listen, Summer League, the guards aren't good enough to get the ball

to the power forwards and the bigs down low. They're just not that good, right? You don't have the elite guys, okay, but you don't have the elite passing, so they don't end up getting touches. Summer League is all guard play, and that's why you would have these guys. Remember Josh Selby? Remember that guy? He played for the Grizzlies and shit.

The guy would drop 50 a game in Summer League. Zach Levine earlier. Nate Robinson. Nate Robinson. Summer League legend. They fucking go crazy. They go nut, right? Because the guards end up taking all the shots.

But you looked at Aiton in the Summer League game? Big for nothing. That's what he looked like. Now, he could be a great player in the league, but they are dependent. The bigs are dependent on a good guard. Right. And shit, if Phoenix doesn't get somebody,

you know Booker ain't passing. No. Phoenix, I don't know what Phoenix is. And Booker, I think I'm sounding like a real old man. I think my damn opinion was old, man. If you got swept, shut up. Double down. Booker, he put up a lot of games,

and his team is always the worst team in the league. At a certain point, it should translate to wins, right? This is my beef with Kyrie early on. I used to keep the same energy. I'm giving you that credit. You know a point I thought of with Kyrie, too? Have you guys seen Uncle Drew? Yes.

You remember the whole conflict is him and Shaq and he stole Shaq's girl? I'm sorry, the movie? Yeah, you didn't see the movie? The movie, Uncle Drew, the whole main conflict is him and Shaq don't get along as they're trying to get the team together because he slept with Shaq's girl. So even in a fictitious movie, you're a shitty teammate. You can't even be a good

teammate in La La Land. That's how terrible of a teammate Kyrie is. He can't even pretend. When I saw that that was applied in the movie, I was like, wow, I thought this was for kids. I'm like, that's a sharp turn. Bruh. Yeah, Uncle Drew was like a telenovela with...

Kobe pretends to be a good teammate in movies, I'm sure, if he was ever in one. Jordan did. Jordan pretended he was all about team one. Jordan was the ultimate team guy. Yeah. Space Jam. It's Jordan juice. Yeah. it was all about team work. Jordan was the ultimate team guy. Yeah. Space Jam. It's Jordan juice. Yeah.

MJ secret stuff. That's what it was. Come on, guys. Jordan juice is way better. Why the fuck didn't he do that? Jordan juice is great. God damn. Jordan juice sounds so much more vile.

You want some of this Jordan juice. I do. Well, now we're getting perverted. I do. I like it. But if it made you, would you drink a cup of Jordan's cum if it made you have his basketball ability? For how long? That is exactly the question I was going to ask.

Am I doing it forever? That's exactly the question I was going to ask. I said, yep. Hold on. 0.07. We told him all night. All right, so I already know what's going to happen Who's gay?

Who's gay? Who's homophobic out here? How irresponsible are you That you become a billion dollar Fucking all time great athlete All you gotta do is drink a little cum It is Wait for it

It is a It is a shot glass Full of Jordan's cum Can I chase it? Of course Listen You have to take a shot A full full of Jordan's cum. Can I chase it? Of course. Listen, you have to take a full shot of Jordan's cum. Full shot of Jordan's cum. And then you will have Jordan's basketball abilities.

For? For as long as he had them. So in other words. Yes, done. Wait for it. Wait for it. Wait for it. So he has it as long as he has them.

Okay? Take that shot. You have his basketball abilities as long as he has them. Okay? Take that shot. You have his basketball abilities as long as he has them. That is what happens. You just got to drink his fucking cum. Okay, so... Why did you say wait for it

and then just finish the same point? Did you see? There is one there. I want to hear reactions. All right, so do, like, the yesterday rules apply from, like, that movie yesterday that's coming out with the Beatles

where, like, the world's never heard of the Beatles and this one guy... No, no, no. Everybody knows it's Jordan. Everybody knows Michael Jordan exists. Yeah. And you're drinking Michael Jordan's cum and you become the next Michael Jordan.

And also, everybody knows about the bet. So they know this is how you got it. I'm in and I'm sticking the tongue out just like Jordan. Just drooling on motherfuckers as I dunk on them. You're basically asking me, would you like to be worth a billion dollars?

For a shot glass. And be the greatest basketball player to ever live? No, no, no. You're not going to play in the league, but you can't play in the league. What? What? Can't play in the league. Oh, I'm out.

You would only do it to make money off of it. You wouldn't do it just to have those skills. How do you make money? How many just go to the playground and beat up a bunch of 16-year-olds? Oh, no. Fuck that. I don't want that shit. Fuck out of here. Oh, because then the conversation is, would you up a bunch of 16-year-olds? Get the fuck out of here. I don't want that shit. Get the fuck out of here.

Oh, because then the conversation is, would you drink a cup of cum to be a billionaire? Yeah. Everybody would do that. Every woman on this planet has probably drank some cum to be a thousandaire. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You kidding me? The conversation is, suck a dick to be a billionaire or take some cum to be a hundred millionaire and play like Jordan?

Yeah, yeah. I'd take the hundred million and play like jordan like no no no no there's no money all it is is the ability to play basketball like jordan you cannot monetize it once a week i get to use this thing you'll play five times a week it's bullshit yeah okay i don't know what's the point what's the point again superpowers you can't use them i it. I like basketball that much. I would love to be able to hoop. I do it in a fucking heartbeat. I play three, four times a week. And I can't dunk right now.

You're telling me if I drink some cum, I can dunk. You have a cup of Jordan's cum, and you literally have his cum. You can dunk from the free throw line. You can dunk from the free throw line. Nah, but you haven't jumped from the free throw line. That's different. This is different. This is dominating the game.

I won the game before. Okay? This is dominating the game. You're dominating the game of Jordan. It's just a cup of cum. That's all. Now, everybody knows that that's how you got the ability. But I can't monetize it. You can't monetize it. It's just because you truly

love playing basketball and you want to play well. I don't love basketball that much. No, it's not worth it. To drink some cum and everybody knows you drank cum and you're so good at basketball but you can't be in the league? Wait for it. You could play in the true league.

You could play in all these things that you don't get paid for. You could bust the pro's ass. How about this? Nobody knows you drank the cum. You could just be this mysterious guy that goes in. But remember the air up there? Remember that one African guy who just comes and shows up and starts busting everybody's ass in the game, right?

That's essentially you. You go to all these leagues. You have this fun thing. You have your Instagram cred. You play one-on-one against the best players in the league and end up beating them. You just can't monetize it by playing professional basketball. Do you do it? It's just purely to have the skill.

I might. I might. Because that was the other thing. Why would you not? I mean, it's cum. It's a shot of cum. It's a shot of cum. It's one shot of cum. That's a shot of cum. It's one shot of cum.

That's a lot. Is it? That is a lot, bro. It's a fucking mango latte or whatever that shit is. Lussie, whatever. Can I make a smoothie out of it? What is that shit?

What is it called? Lussie. It's a mango. It's a mango. It's a Michael Lussie. That's what it is. You take that fucking Michael Lussie to your face.

It's that much cum. And then you can walk on any basketball court in the world. And you're the fucking man. Can I give you a quick side note, by the way? A lot of people love the Head Bus Boy. What is that? Head Bus Boy was a big hit on Patreon. Head Bus Boy was a big hit.

What's Head Bus Boy? You missed it. You guys missed it. I watched Head Bus Boy. Y'all need to go. If y'all are on a Patreon, you already know about this. If you're not on a Patreon, I think we put snippets of it. Edwin, did we put snippets of it?

We put snippets of it on the, you know how we do a little snippet of the Patreon episode on the regular feed? Yeah. It's the dumbest character I've ever done in my entire life. It's so funny, though. But it is kind of hysterical.

Can I get a head bus, boy? But you just got Michael Jordan's powers and you gotta explain to your wife how you got it. I don't know how long we talked about it on the episode. It felt like 15 minutes of this character. I felt like 15 full minutes. It went for a while, yeah.

All right, so you're going to play the wife? I honestly don't know how he would tell his wife that he got the basketball abilities. But would he drink cum to be able to play basketball? Or what about soccer? Oh, he'd do it to play like Ronaldo or Messi? 100%. 100%. I can't believe you guys wouldn't just want those skills.

Listen, if I'm going up against the NBA players, I'd probably do it. I'd probably kill myself. What? What do you mean? Imagine having being like the 1% of a talent, and you can't use that to its fullest of ability. Like, that will drive you insane after a while.

Like, imagine being, like, the smart. Like, there's probably somebody out there who's, like, the smartest motherfucker out there, but nobody believes him because everybody thinks he's batshit fucking crazy. Yeah. Like, if you were that fucking good at basketball, you were destroying everybody in the Drew League, fucking G.E.L.E., you went to college, killed it,

whatever, you were fucking averaging a million fucking points a game. You can't be in the NBA. You have no other discernible skills. You're even more interesting because of it. No. Imagine that's like being the number one comic of all time but can't get on stage.

Yeah. Yeah. I wouldn't want to do that because I love comedy so much. I love basketball too. I love basketball but not as much as I love comedy. And you still get to play basketball. Like imagine you were the number one comic, you just couldn't make money at it. That means you could pop into shows, you could do all this kind of shit.

You're just not going't make money at it that means you could pop into shows you could do all this kind of shit you're just not gonna make money at it matter of fact i wonder all right so can i monetize it and like some like fucking no no no and like some like what's what's his face peewee kirkland type shit where like you just go you go to ruck apart you go to dykeman you go to drooling no you kill it like kobe comes up to you. Like, Pete Kobe comes up to you. He don't listen. You kill Pete Kobe. It's my hypothetical. I just told you no. Let me finish it, motherfucker.

You kill Pete Kobe, right? Yeah. You can't, like, make a documentary about, like, yo, this is the greatest guy who's ever been. Oh, okay. You know what I mean? Yeah. All right, Alkosh, take us somewhere else. God damn it.

Yo, Kyrie went to Japan. We can talk about that. His goofy ass. Nah, zero. Kyrie arie went to Japan. We can talk about that. His goofy ass. Kyrie a real goofy, man. Kyrie's a real goofy. He like a spiritual goofy. He's a hippie, man. I kind of dig it.

But he ain't. He's just trying to like find something, bro. That's a guy's loss. Kind of makes you think he's going to be a dick. He's also not spiritual. He's a fucking curmudgeon. Nobody likes him on any team he goes to. He hated Boston.

His teammates hate him. That's probably why He always is spiritual. He has this seeing eye shit and he has all these weird tattoos and all this stuff. But the reality is in terms of how he is with his teammates and how he exists within a team there is zero

spirituality about the way he plays. Zero connectivity with his teammates. Zero I'm part of a bigger thing i'm part of something greater than right like isn't the whole idea behind this philosophy is that you're not important you're insignificant you're insignificant he thinks he's the most significant he thinks he's more significant than lebron no you're not that is so true it's like he's trying to force himself into believing this stuff by tattooing it on his body. But in reality, it's full of shit.

Yeah, he phony with that shit. You can't be spiritual and have your own sneaker. Why not? Because I'm talking about this type of Buddhist. Like you can't be non-materialistic and have your own sneaker yeah like that's absurd I see your point there

I'm even just saying on a more like regular level just nobody likes you alright there's no you don't like anybody there's no possibility this isn't like

a late discovery in his life where he's like he's seen that people hate him he's seen that like his fucking ego cost him the best

how late a week two weeks ago no but I don't know, but maybe the past year. Maybe the past year, but the thing that still gives me pause is he still wants out of Boston. He still hates Boston. Who doesn't hate Boston? Have you been there?

The players who play for the Celtics tend to love it. KG loves it. KG spent most of his career in Minnesota. Granted, not winning. He fucking loved being a Celtic. Let's be honest here. From day one, he loved being a Celtic. Let's be honest here.

Paul Pierce came out and said that everybody thinks it's- You're a Celtic. Let's be honest here. From day one, he loved being a Celtic. Let's be honest here. Paul Pierce came out and said that's just that everybody thinks it's- You're a Celtic, right? Yeah. That city loves basketball and they love the Celtics. There are few cities where you are going to get treated as well as you will get treated if you are a Boston Celtic. If you can't find some joy being the star Of a team in a city that they really care about Where are you going to find your joy?

With a good coach I mean you think he's overrated There's worse coaches There's a lot of shitty coaches And he's better than a lot of them I just don't believe it I don't think he's going to be happy It's a possibility

I don't believe it I just don't believe it based on anything I've seen No I'm saying there's a possibility. It's a possibility. I just, I don't believe it based on anything. Hold on. What was that? I just don't believe it based on anything I've seen. No, I'm saying there's a possibility. Like there's everything that you said is true. And that's why he's trying to be more spiritual and trying to, you know, all that selfishness fucked up the best basketball situation he ever had.

But he was like that before. Exactly. And now he's trying to change. He's saying he literally realized it like a week ago. Not like a week ago. But he's been doing these pictures and shit before. this is not the first time he the whole flat earth thing like he's very susceptible to this new information he's he is skeptical of the world he lives in right he is trying to find something else he is an outsider he's the most millennial superstar

yes and he truly believes he's different he believes he's so unique and different that all these other ways of thinking that are unique and different can coincide with his existence. He's Wikipedia brilliant. You read everything you know that's so nuanced and crazy. You read it online on some dumbass blog. Right. Yes.

He's a Redditor. He's a guy who gets his information from crazy Reddit threads. And real talk, I got gotta say shout out to Reddit because we had a clip that was on the front page of fucking Reddit that is booming. It goes crazy

if it gets front page. Son. We got like, we're almost at like 900,000 fucking views in a day. So, shouts to Reddit. That being said,

y'all some crazy motherfuckers on Reddit. Real Talk. It's a dark place in there. Shit gets wild on Reddit. That being said, y'all some crazy motherfuckers on Reddit. Real talk. It's a dark place in there. Shit gets wild on Reddit. A lot of the conversation goes, they own the banks. You're like, ugh. I don't know if I need to get in this one, dawg.

This shit is about to get hairy. Oh, God. All right, Hakash, what else we got? Blue Chute. Oh, yes. We gotta pay some bills, bro. Shout to my guys. Pay them bills.

Shout to my guys. And you to pay some bills, bro. Shouts to my guys. Paying bills. Shouts to my guys. And you got a charger? The legends. The motherfucking legends. Blue Chew. Blue Chew. Y'all already know what it is. For all of our new listeners, get your dick right.

Get your motherfucking dick right, okay? I don't know how that's not the tagline. It should be. Blue Chew, get your dick right. We could write a little jingle for him. There it is. All seriousness. Pay up.

There are no more days of your dick not getting hard. There are no more days of you not being able to go round two. There are no more days of you not being able to be full throttle and deliver the pleasure. Lay the wood. Lay the wood. Okay. Put that foundation down. There's no more reason for you to have this difficulty in your life if you're a woman there's no reason why your man shouldn't

be serving you that pipe when he or you want it there's no excuses because we have blue chew i'm not gonna lie there are times where i bust quick And when I need to run it back I run over there I get that blue chew I chew that shit up Takes 20 minutes 20 minutes less 20 minutes less than Viagra Cialis or those other ones That's how nice this is

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as that you don't have to go to the doctor you have to do some crazy prescription shit you get in there and you get busy ladies you deserve this fellas your girl deserves it it's her birthday it's your anniversary it's something it's Friday. Who gives a fuck? Y'all going on vacation. You cheated. And you need to serve up that pipe. You need to serve up that pipe so she forgives you. You need forgiveness, dick. Sometimes you're going to need a little help.

Sometimes you're going to need some performance enhancing drugs. Get you a tag team partner. Real talk. Tap that blue chew in and chew her ass out. That's bluechew.com. Promo code flagrant. Akash Singh back in the room. Let's get it going. Alright, you heard about how the Lakers still

fucked up the AD trade? Can you explain the math of this? So I don't fully understand it. Kaz, do you? I'm pulling up... Yeah. So initially, these trades can't be official until July 6 6th right right right but if they waited until i think the date is july 30th um because anthony davis had a trade bonus so if he gets traded he gets four million extra dollars all right he'd have to now if they want

to be he'd have to go without that he'd have to say if they get the deal done uh july 6th and he doesn't take his trade bonus everyone's saying saying he's going to take the trade bonus. They don't have enough space to get another Mac slot. If they do, if he does take the trade bonus, but they wait until July 30th, they get more money for some reason to open up that last Mac spot. I think they're only like $5 or $6 million away from the $22 million. Basically, Rob Palenka is an idiot and an absolute retard and then everybody who run the lakers are absolute retards and even with this great trade they could fucking get out of their own basically and it's very easily

you get out of their way right i think what they did is they called back and again i don't know the exact math of it i should have looked up math. But I think what they could have done is called back up the Pelicans and then thrown in more players just to get cap space. Now, my understanding is that LeBron and Anthony Davis are the only people that are on the books for next year. But maybe there's team options on certain guys and then they can – And Kuzma and Maurice Wagner. Yeah, Mo Wagner. Ah, okay, okay, okay. So there are a few people.

Okay. So, shouts to Kuzma, by the way. He tweeted about the Rogan episode, left my name out, that shit. So now you on my bad list. Okay? Very light-skinned of you to do that. I was very light-skinned. Very light-skinned behavior.

That's such a light-black thing to do. Super light-skinned. Such a light-black. So light, bro. I did a store on him for paper back in the day. Oh, yeah? Yeah. Kyle.

White as Kuzma. Come on. What is he? Is he even black? He's Russian. I think he's mixed. Anyway. He seems black.

Point is, I'm tight. I'm in my feelings. So point is, all they had to do was offer up a few more people within that trade

and the Pelicans would have just taken them because again, you're like, okay, these are just more people. It doesn't matter what we're doing at this point right now.

So now Griffin is in the position to fuck over the Lakers, and if I'm Griffin, I'm like, fuck them. Suck my dick. Suck my dick. You fucked up, dummy. Yeah. What do I owe you?

Send me somebody else. Yeah, send me somebody else, and maybe we can talk. That's it. But even if they send somebody else, if Griff, that person isn't going to help the Pelicans, but keeping them on the Lakers books is going to hurt the Lakers. So if I'm playing real chess, I'm like, fuck these motherfuckers.

I'm not going to let them get two more or one more full max guy. What if they offered you like two more first round picks? I'll suck their dicks. I like the way you GM. Sorry about that. I like the way you GM. What if that's the first call? The first call every single time.

Listen, we need LeBron. We want LeBron. Okay, what are you willing to trade? Pull your fucking dicks. That's that fire friend. Say what? The guy from the fire fed Yo Andy

That'd be my GM That's my assistant GM Get the shit done He was GM of the year Every year Wow Fuck these motherfuckers yo Shout out to David Griffin man

Yo real talk man That dude is a He knows what he's doing The dude knows what he's doing Apparently It'll be alright though I think that You know though I think it helps them I think it helps the Lakers

Because y'all don't need another Max line But it would help them sign not Max I mean you think if they have Max money They're gonna sign a Max guy And they're gonna fuck themselves up That's possible I get what you're saying Kaz They're being forced to sign mid-level guys

That's who you need right now I agree with you That's who you need You don't need another I think you even said that Last week Yeah Yeah okay

I'm with it I mean I'm just so done With the fucking Lakers And the Knicks It looks like we're not Going to get KD Have you seen this No

I've seen the story I heard the rumor Is that Brooklyn Is ahead of New York But that's a rumor And Iggy came out today You told me and said New York's not getting anybody. Nobody's going to the Knicks. Nobody's going to the Knicks.

And I'm glad. We don't deserve anybody. When he says nobody's going to the Knicks, he means no KD, no Kawhi, no Kyrie. Yeah. None of those guys. Yeah. Nobody important. I mean, to be fair, I said this last week on the show, that it's a two-team race between the Knicks and the Nets.

Kyrie wants the Nets. KD wants the Knicks. This time two months ago, KD's like, hey, we're going to the Knicks. Like, we're going. The motherfucker lost all his leverage when he tore his Achilles. So now Kyrie's like, oh, you should probably go to Brooklyn. Why does he need leverage? Why can't you just sign with the Knicks?

I mean, he can. He still wants to. Like, he still wants to be a Knick. But, like, he's not playing next year. He really doesn't have, pardon the pun, he doesn't have a leg to stand on when he's trying to get another Max guy to come play with him. Why do you, where does D'Lo go? I hope he comes to the Knicks. Yo, I like D'Lo. I like his game, bro.

I low-key really like D'Lo. I would rather have D'Lo than Kyrie. Yeah, he seems fun. I've been warming up to that he seems fun i've been warming up to that bro i've been warming up to that lately like there's something about his energy and the way he plays you know very bouncy they seem to be excited by him there's a little bit of like there's a goofiness and silliness to his game there's an edge whereas kairi's like he's a surliness it's a surliness yes and yo he's 23 years old he's a kid that's right he's a surliness. It's a surliness. Yes. And yo, he's 23 years old. He's a kid still.

That's right. He's a kid. He's a kid still. No real history of injury. Was there any history of injury? Ah. No, no, no. I think he had like a sprained knee or some shit.

He scores a lot of garbage buckets, meaning like they're down by like 15, and then he'll hit like three threes in the last two minutes of the game, and then go from scoring 16 points to 20, 25. Right? Fair. That being said, I just think he fits the culture of that Nets team, and I don't think they have to be that concerned about winning a championship in the next few years because they're not going to.

That's the one thing I didn't like about the KD and the Kyrie rumors to Brooklyn because it's like, now you motherfuckers got expectations. Right. Now it's like, you're not the fun, cuddly, young team that everybody liked dancing on the sidelines no more. Especially if Kyrie goes over there and gets the guy

that led that fucking fun, young, You still don't have expectations for a year because KD won't play for a year. That's true.

If I, I think the Knicks, if they get KD, KD is the best. Only sign KD, don't worry about anybody else. Tank another year,

let him rehab. In a year and a half, if he's back to normal, you're good. You can make the playoffs, you're good you can make the playoffs you're scary you let you get r what's rj barrett develop whoever your hydra pick is next year develop nick's got to be smart man the worst thing they can do if they strike out on these guys is sign someone else and i don't think they just sit tight sign a bunch of bloated

contracts for one year get them the fuck out of the next year be bad question to you who runs the show for the knicks because there's a lot of mouths to feed what do you mean like let's say katie comes back right right in the year and let's say you keep knox you keep rj barrett yeah you keep uh what is it mitchell mitch robinson alonzo treer mitch robinson smith alonzo treer denn Mitch Robinson. Dennis Smith. Alonzo Trier. Dennis Smith. Everybody I named can't pass the ball to save their life. No. Doesn't even try. Doesn't even look for a pass. It is all guys who go out there to try to get buckets.

Right. Someone got to feed these guys. Yeah. So who is that point guard that's going to get the ball in these guys' hands in the right position to score? Honestly, maybe not immediately but i think eventually rj barrett becomes that guy rj barrett is a head down to the basket i'm gonna score the knock on rj is from all the scouts that i've spoken to is that

he doesn't look to pass and he didn't look enough in the tournament right he wasn't getting zion involved enough and he is just he buckets, there's no doubt. But a lot of people are comparing him to Melo, which is ball stopper, puts up a lot of shots, doesn't get the teammates involved. I mean, he did average, I mean, granted he was playing with Zion, so he's probably getting a lot of easy assists. But he did average five assists a game. Which is not to slouch. In the ACC, which is not to slouch at, especially when they're crowding. They're packing that. I'm just telling you. I'm just.

These are always right. I'm just telling you what the scouts are saying. Yeah. And I think that you need a guy who is dedicated to passing a ball. Dedicated to get everybody. Frank can barely get the ball up half court. I think. Poor Frank, bro.

Yo, you know, and I know I can't believe I'm even gonna say this But like You know who wouldn't be awful On the next CP3 Yeah Nope Fuck

Nope Nope You know who You know who would tolerate CP3's Dickheadish coaching Mentality Just a bunch of rookies

Who looked up to CP3, think he's a god, think he's one of the greatest players in the world. Don't even put that in the air, bro. Almost honored by the fact. The problem is he got four years left on his contract, and that's too much time. You know who doesn't want to play with CP3?

KD probably. Kevin Durant. What I'm saying is if you don't, and also what do you even trade? Who do you even trade? But it is an interesting thing to see Because some people have mentioned CB3 going to Phoenix Which is also insane

It's insane but That's what it means So it's like There is a situation where If you have a bunch of young guys for CB3 to yell at CB3 is never going to win a championship Doesn't matter CB3 yells at your young guys while they develop And then yell at cb3 is never going to win a championship doesn't matter cb3 yells at your

young guys while they develop and then by the time his contract is over hopefully these guys are at a point where they're ready to carry the team and cb3 can go to the bench or do something else i would say if it wasn't sorry if it was even two years or even maybe three years left on his deal i would say fine but four years a long time a long time. Are you going to be in his fourth year listening to CP3? No. If it takes four years for those guys to be ready to leave the team, then you don't have the right

fucking guys. And secondly, why would you help the Rockets out after they fucked up? And that contract only gets fatter as the years go on. Such a bad signing. He gets like 30 mil in his last year. Some wild fucking shit. Like, why would you even help them at that point? What are the chances of him getting bought out?

It had to be, I think it had to be like his last year. I brought that up too, and I brought up the Mellow buyout. And I don't know if I'm mean or you, but you said like, Mellow got bought out in his last year. Yeah. Like, his buyout would be so crazy. So crazy. I said this last time. Four years, $125 million.

I like CP3 on Boston, bro. That's literally the only move that makes sense to me. Yo, can we acknowledge something about Boston that not enough people are making a big deal about? They're going to lose Al Horford. Yeah. Al Horford. Who is their leader. Was their most effective player.

Yeah. Consistently effective. He doesn't get the Draymond credit because they haven't won championships, but if they won championships like the Warriors did, you're going to see a lot of people talking about, oh, this big man who

can shoot threes, stretch the floor, passes well, and then defends multiple positions. He's going to get a lot of money to put one of those teams in the West that have a chance right now over the hump. Yo, go to the Clippers. I think the Clippers. If he doesn't go to the fucking Clippers. I think fucking Dallas

is a good look. I don't think they'd be good enough. I think they'd get to the playoffs, but I still don't think they'd be good enough. Oh, if Porzingis is healthy, they're good enough. You think so? If Porzingis is healthy, they're good enough for Al Horford and Luka Doncic. I'm not going to lie. Think about that lineup. Al and Porzingis?

He's the perfect big man you want to play with, Porzingis. Wait, wait. Al and Porzingis. You know how open that lane is going to be? You know how stretched that defense is going to be? Just let Luka drive all fucking day. Do his little step backs if you want. You could have Al shooting threes and Perzingis

shooting threes. Who are you going to keep around the basket? Get a slashing two. Who's a great, a Drew Holiday? Who's somebody who just gets to the basket? That's a culture guy. Jimmy Bucket. The lane is going to be wide open. Yeah.

I don't know if the Spurs got money, but I think Aldridge comes off the books now. He's a free agent a lot of people aren't talking about. Imagine Horford on the Spurs. Horford on the Spurs would be amazing. I would love to see it. Horford at the Rosen, like quietly. Low key. That's a good tandem.

Deontay Murray coming back. Was it ACL or Achilles he get? ACL. So he'll be all right. He'll be good. Dude, there could be some very interesting positions for Horford, and why is nobody talking about him? Oh, apparently he's going to get four for like a crazy.

He's going to get a max on him. He's getting a max. I try to max him, but do two. But someone's already. He's got the max back. Black max. He's got the black on him. Somebody out there, like I've read a lot.

I'll be on Hoops Hype Check and the rumors. Apparently one team out there is ready to offer four four for a max and that's where i'm like yo i don't want to do four so here's an interesting thing we have a situation where i think amin was touching on it last week we had amin al-hasan on the podcast last week. Patreon episode. Patreon episode, yeah. Me and Elhassan, you probably know he started Al-Qaeda. He's an ESPN contributor. Used to be a front office guy for the Phoenix Suns. Huge show on ESPN right now. And the jump. So funny.

So he said, I just lost my train of thought. What were we talking about? Talking about Max by Al Horford going to... Fuck, I forgot. What were we just talking about? Talking about Al Horford. I was actually going to say Al Horford could go to the Lakers,

but that's the last thing I remember talking about was Al Horford, four-year deal. Oh, what he said is this was the supply or the demand. Yeah, the demand for Max players right now, very high. The supply of max players, very low. And what happens in those markets, our teams are impatient and they overpay and get under-delivered players.

So you're going to see the Tobias Harris's and you're going to see these Chris Middletons who in a regular free agent market would never get a four or five year max. Those are the type of guys that get traded in their second year. Right. Remember when Harrison Barnes got all that money? Yeah. It's because of the market.

So you're going to see a lot of those Harrison Barnes. And that was the Mavs that did that. And real talk, there's a reason why Harrison Barnes this year opted out. Because he knew. I think his agent wasn't stupid. He was like, listen, they are dying for players. You can get more. Because this is going to be the last contract Harrison gets that's reasonable.

Oh, yeah. And I think that he could get two to three years of decent money instead of doing one more year at that and then getting minimums. You could finesse a not great franchise to giving Harrison Barnes a lot of money. For sure. He's a sneaky 20-point per game guy. That's it. Not great.

You start convincing yourself. You're like, okay, he scored. Interesting deal. Just check Hoops Hype. Blazers are trading Evan Turner to Atlanta for Ken Bazemore. So you get a more athletic version. I don't know if Ken can shoot threes. Can he shoot threes?

Yeah, he's a good shooter. He's a 3 and D guy, but a little smaller. He's like 6'4", 6'5". Yeah, but he's more athletic than Ev, right? Yeah, Ev's old. Ev's a little bit older. He's broken. But Ev could always bring the ball up.

He's a steady guy. He's not somebody who's going to break out for 30 points, but he'll right the ship. Right. But you don't need a guy to bring the ball up because you have Dame and you have McCullough. Now he's in Atlanta, so you got Trey Young. Atlanta got a fun, nice little young team right now, bro. They got Trey Young.

They got Hoarder. They drafted Cam Reddish, who I think is going to be a much better pro than the college guy. And they got that fucking—they drafted somebody else in the first round. I thought the Pelicans should have gone after Cam Reddish. I thought that was a move. What did they do? They traded their picks? They traded down to 8 and 17.

I'm surprised they couldn't get 8 and 10 because the rumor was— They got the big boy from Texas. Yeah, they got Jackson Hayes, who I think is going to be good. But the rumor was somebody was off. They were off on the Knicks 8 and 10 for number three. And maybe RJ Barrett is that much better. But then they went to four and gave up 8 and 17 and kept 10. And that's why they got Cameron Reddish.

Yeah. I like Cameron Reddish. Cameron Reddish is one of those guys that, like, you know, he was on a loaded team, still put up, like, 13, 14 a game in the college system. You know what I'm saying? What's the thing called when you're like per 48 or per whatever teams? That averages out to like a 20-point-per-game guy. As disappointing as this shit was, I think he's going to be a really good pro.

Sorry, back to Horford. Here's the thing I saw from Mark Stein. Numerous teams and agents believe Al Horford has a four-year offer awaiting him in free agency worth an estimated $112 million. Sources with knowledge of the Mavs think and continue to insist that it's not coming from Dallas. So he's not getting a max. See, I'd max him out for less years. Yeah.

I think he wants $112 million. I think you could give him three years 90. You just want to do less years. that's what these people don't realize like these gms fuck up with the amount of time yeah just get them for less time pay him more yeah i agree don't want them on the books when they suck no yeah if you can get him two years at the veteran max or whatever that is yeah i don't give a fuck that's 40 million whatever it

is give him two years 80 million just get him off. But I think for him, he knows that. He's like, somebody's going to offer me four. I'll take the four. It's like they want to stay in the league. It's like they just want to be around the game. You're only going to make... Matter of fact, you end up making less money. If you're Al Horford? Right. If you can make 80 in two

years or 90 in three, I think 80 in two is more beneficial to you. The risk is injury. You're just like, well, let me take this 80 while it's here. I, or the 90, because I don't know if I'm going to get injured. You never know what could happen. Give me the 90. I can invest 90 million and turn that very quickly into whatever the fuck.

That's what I'm saying. If you're getting the 80 quicker than you're getting the 90, so you can make interest off the money. Because it's more money per year. I feel like I just read a story about Lewald Dang being this great fucking real estate investor. Yeah, that's what you do. He made like nine figures just off of investments, like buying fucking buildings and shit.

Sudanese, dog. It's all in that shit, man. We didn't talk about the Mike Conley trade. Do you want to talk about that? Mike Conley's going to Utah. Sure. Good trade for Utah. What do you think?

It's a good trade for Utah, man. Is Utah a contender? Somebody was saying that Utah is up there. Favorite in the West. How much better is Mike Conley than Ricky Rubio? Way better. I don't know if he's way better. He's way better than Ricky Rubio.

He seems like not quite as good of a passer maybe, but he can shoot. He can shoot. And that's big. And that's the difference between him and Rubio. Rubio could shoot. Rubio... Look at Rubio's stats. Rubio had a very effective shooting percentage.

Rubio was one of those, I'll let him beat me from deep type of shooters. Right. Conley can beat you from deep. Right. And he's just always been a guy that's played very, very clutch. Oh, I'm sorry. We were asking the Knicks for somebody who is built to feed. Yeah. Rubio or Connelly i mean either but

rubio if rubio is available he's a free i like rubio nice and cheap for a year cheap and just give him two years and then just let him distribute say hey we want to get the rookies confidence give them the ball yeah and rubio was like look i don't even like shooting that much i don't i don't like his shot doesn't look like he intended to use it a lot. Have you seen, like, his form and stuff? He shoots like he's trying to get something off the top of a cabinet. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Dude, he's got a set shot. It's like he's pulling back. Like, I don't know why he does that shit. So he's, so, okay, so back to the situation. No, I think Conley's way better than him, though. He's one of those guys that, like, in any other generation of the NBA, he's a multiple-time all-star. But we're in the golden age of point guards right now that he's always been the odd man. Him and Damian Lillard have always been the odd men out when it came to point guards.

So I think him, he's the perfect type of point guard for a guy like Donovan Mitchell and Rudy Gobert. And they were already, what, a five seed this year? Six seed? Five seed. Didn't they get swept or gentleman swept by the Rockets? He has a gentleman sweep. When are we going to acknowledge that Rudy Gobert sucks? He doesn't suck.

Do we just feel bad because he didn't make the- Because he cried. Yeah, the all-star team. I saw him at the BET Awards yesterday. Really? Yeah, he was like sitting next to- Is he black? Sort of black.

He's a light black? A little bit. He's butterscotch. He bit. He's butterscotch. He's got some. Butterscotch. Butterscotch. Yeah, I don't know, man. He's a great defender.

Well, that's the thing. It's like, I don't even know if he's a great defender. He's just tall, and if you get in the lane, he can distract your shot. But one-on-one, he's not that good a defender. We've seen people body him. Who's going to body him who's gonna body him really isn't um i'm bead there's like maybe two or three like okay get this big guy the ball go to work type of big guys out there anyway so i mean like maybe i'm maybe he's yeah honestly he has a full head of steam you know but i don't know i don't think he's that gobert is a very good player.

I wouldn't say he's great, but he's very, very good. Yo, the Jazz would have been nasty, I think, if Hayward stayed. Go figure, right? Because they lost Hayward for nothing and then got Donovan Mitchell the next year. Right. If Hayward had stayed and was healthy, that team would be... Yeah, that team would be kind of nasty.

You know, you hate to see it. You hate to see the fucking Gobert report. Nobody calls him that. You hate to see that happen to Boston teams, but who gives a shit? Nah, but I do think the Jazz make a lot of noises here. Anybody can. It's going to be one of those weird years where either the fucking Nuggets or the Jazz come out the West.

Or Sacramento. weird years like you the fucking nuggets or the jazz come out the west or sacramento i think we have to see how the lakers build their team because if it's put together and if lebron is healthy even without anthony davis of lebrron is healthy, even without Anthony Davis, if LeBron is healthy, they make the playoffs. With Anthony Davis. That's pretty crazy. That's a crazy one-two punch. That's a crazy one-two punch. And there's going to be a lot of gravity. Is that the best one-two punch we've seen ever?

Like in our lifetimes at least? Now we're having a fun combo. Best one-two punch. Magic and Kareem. Shaq fun combo. Best one to punch. Magic and Kareem. Shaq and Kobe. Shaq and Kobe. Shaq and Kobe was unreal.

I was about to say like that's in my lifetime. Shaq and Kobe was absolutely fucking... Shaq and Kobe. Wait for it. Shaq and Penny was unreal. Different, but unreal. Shaq and Kobe better, obviously. MJ and Scotty. MJ and Scotty, but that's mainly MJ.

Steph and Katie. What's up on Post 2000?han katie's pretty fucking crazy oh my god um wayden braun wayden braun is big there's a lot of great tandems out there man stephan katie is is we're talking about your nba jam team yeah what is your nba jam team think about it that's fucking good just going skill for skill it's hard to pick anybody that's not it's shaq and kobe man no sorry it might be ad because that pick and roll ad is a better chance of guarding it than shaq i think you can get by shaq yeah i mean god damn. People, I know we're being prisoners of the moment right now,

but like, I think people forget just how fucking insane Laker Shaq was. Like, those first four or five years. Yo, light on his feet. Yeah.

Oh, Shaq. God. He was like, if you watch those, you watch those fucking highlights. Should have been unanimous MVP. Absolutely.

I think it was like one vote off. One guy voted for Allen Iverson. One stupid ass hater. You watch those fucking Shaq highlights from the early 2000 Lakers and shit looks like Mike Tyson highlights. Just stupid ass hater. You watch those fucking Shaq highlights from the early 2000 Lakers. I'm sure those are like Mike Tyson highlights.

Just fucking knockout punches. Just fucking dunks and explosions. And Kobe coming down doing the same shit. So Kobe in Shaq is number one. Or is it A.D. and Braun? Yeah. I don't even think A.D. and Braun's in the top five yet. Oh, wow. I think skill-wise, you can imagine it all. But it's like Wade and Braun. I don't even think Adian Braun's in the top five yet. Oh, wow.

I think skill-wise, you can imagine it all, but it's like Wade and Braun was wild. Fair enough. Steph and Katie was wild. Steph and Katie was exceptionally wild because they had three as Klay and four as Draymond and Iggy's off the bench. And we also are really not giving enough credit for Kareem and Magic. I mean, that's an absurd combo. Yeah, we didn't see that. That's insane.

Like, that is absolute. The only thing that you could knock them on is basically the fact that Magic can't shoot threes, and neither could Kareem. So they're not going to really hurt you, but Kareem is also unstoppable. Oy! Shaq and Kobe, bro. Yeah, Shaq and Kobe. Shaq and Kobe, bro. Yeah, Shaq and Kobe. Shaq and Kobe. I think Shaq's physicality, which is where AD or Kareem or whoever.

I love fucking with Kobe stans and Lakers stans, but, like, come on. Like, young Kobe, when Kobe was first getting the fro and really starting to figure himself out as that guy, man, like, oh. He was a fucking joy, bro. Before he, you know, went to Colorado. He played with more joy. He came back. Honestly, like, there was a decided shift after that shit. Like, when he came back, he became more cold and calculated. He started calling himself the

Black Mamba, changed his number, fucking got that tattoo and shit. He was a different guy after that. Before that, he was doing songs with Tyra Banks and had an afro and wore number eight. He was in the Destiny's Child remix for Say My Name. Yeah, he was fun loving Kobe. Then he came back and was like, yeah. Did he really jump over that car that was driving towards him? No.

That was fake? That was fake. Did you see the new one? I did. That's why I was bringing it up. But how'd they fake that? Probably CGI. Yeah, I'm so into did. That's why I was bringing it up. But how'd they fake that? Probably CGI. I'm so into CGI.

That's Nike, bro. The car could have been like feet, like a couple feet ahead of him. But because of perspective. Yeah, that's what I assumed it was. Or it's a fake car. Yo, son, there's a guy that tried to do it. Did you see this clip? Yeah.

It was so great. And he got hit by the car. And his shoe. I thought his feet fell off, but it was his shoes that fell off. But son, why do your shoes fall off? Is that a real video? That's real. The wind, that had to be real.

But they don't even show what happens after he lands, which pisses me off because it actually looks like he's going to land on his feet. Have you seen it? He did kind of land on his feet. Look at it. Is it YouTube? He did kind of land on his feet. Let me see.

Don't put any volume on it. Don't make it big screen either. Good job, Eddie. There it goes. Play it with no volume. What could go wrong? Look at this. Ready?

Watch it. Bang. But it looks. No, I think he's going to fall on his back. Go towards the end, right? And stop. No, I saw there's a longer version on that. Oh, really?

Yeah, he lands on his feet, but he like crouches down and like holds his legs. Get that long version, yo. Like he lands like on like the combination of like the balls of his feet and his ass. But like, yeah, now he got there. That motherfucker did it. And then the shoes just like fall out. Oh my God. That was great.

Anyway. He's crazy. That's some white boy activities. Oh, real talk. Akash, we got anything else On the agenda Because we gotta We gotta wrap this up Any draft thoughts

You might have That's about it RJ Barrett Oh here we go Here we go Here we go Here we go We got my mans

He kinda almost Stuck the land in Oh Oh no he fell bro Boom boom I didn't watch this Are you wearing Yeezys He fell, bro. Boom, boom. Have you ridden Yeezys? This is the best Adidas commercial I've ever seen.

Oh, what's that black thing next to him right there? Is that a flip-flop? What was he wearing? He's jumping. It's two shoes. But what's next? There's three things. One shoe's black. It's jumping. No. It's two shoes. But what's next? There's three things. One shoe's black. Boom.

Okay. Okay, it's socks. Okay, it's socks. Yeah, it's two socks. No, what's that? Oh, I don't know. Hoodie? Was he wearing a hoodie?

He said he was just thinking about all his life. So I think he shit his pants, bro. Go back. I believe that. I believe that's poo. There it is. Oh, he didn't even call it. I believe that's poo. There it is. Oh, he didn't even call. He's wearing a hoodie.

Like a skull cap or whatever. Beanie. Oh, shit. Goddamn. He didn't even come close to clearing that shit, though. He almost did it. Nah, he ain't almost did it. He almost did it.

You think you could have done that? You think you could do it? I could do it. You can't do it. I don't think you can do it. You can't do it. Brad, his shins are on the windshield. Look at this shit.

Yo! Yo, he didn't... He didn't... Yeah. Bruh. He didn't jump way too late. Is he wearing Yeezys, though? Why would you try that?

Those look like zebras. If you're gonna miss this shit, that's the best way to miss it, though. Because if you jump too early and his feet hit the top of that that shit and you go right through the windshield crazy the shit like he got hit like he i don't think he cleared the hood i thought like when i first watched i thought he cleared the wood he's alive bro that's all that is look at him right there he's just going i should be dead look at him he goes oh i should be dead he's looking for his sneaker he's angry at the car he's like boom oh that's shot out of his feet god it goes so far that's too crazy bro anyway man we got to get out of here bro thank y'all so much for listening

we will see you say again are we plugging yeah we'll do it again out of here bro thank y'all so much for listening we will see you say again yeah we'll do it again though well you know thank y'all so much for listening to another episode of flagrant to get with us on a patreon episode this Friday sign up for that patreon man it's crazy to see these subs keep going keep going keep going we don't we want to hit that 7500 mark so akash and and pete could officially compete you know what i mean get it going um so keep on subscribing man we appreciate you uh we got some good news coming up that you know we'll tell you about in the very near future i hope i'm hoping i don't want jinxes so just fingers crossed for right now but um but yeah man that's patreon.com

slash flagrant 2 uh give a look-see for the last episode. We really wilded out. We were doing the head buzz boy and a couple other things. You can see the type of goofiness that we get down with. And it was educational, too. Of course. Very educational. Always.

So anyway, man, it's been flagrant2. Thank y'all so much for fucking with us. We love y'all. Peace. God bless.