Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh - Brian Laundrie Missed Schulz’s Special Taping

Episode Date: September 23, 2021

Flagrant 2 is a comedy podcast that delivers unfiltered, unapologetic, and unruly hot takes directly to your dome piece. In an era dictated by political correctness, hosts Andrew Schulz and Akaash Singh, along with AlexxMedia and Mark Gagnon, could care less about sensitivities. If it’s funny and flagrant it flies. If you are sensitive this podcast is not for you. But if you miss the days of comedians actually being funny instead of preaching to a quire then welcome to The Flagrancy. Join the Patreon Asshole Army: http://bit.ly/2xQwHYf

What's up everybody and welcome to Flager 2. It's your boy Schultz. Akash Singh is not here. So we have a little bit of a... What is this called? It's a memorial. A memorial. We have a memorial for Akash Singh. He's not dead though.

Yeah, he's not dead. He's with us on Earth. A shrine maybe? A shrine. That's a good one. So basically what happened is, obviously you guys know that we were taping the special this weekend He's with us on Earth. Exactly. He's still here. A shrine, maybe? A shrine. That's a good one. Yeah. So basically what happened is, obviously, you guys know that we were taping the special this weekend. And Austin and Akash was such a fucking soldier, trooper, great man, great friend.

Came out and supported, helped us out. He's just the fucking man. And then he has shows later this week in Austin. So we said, yo, kick it out there. You're the fucking man for coming. He's at Moon Tower this week. Moon Tower, yeah. So make sure y'all

go check him out. Moon Tower, he's got some individual shows there. I think he's got one show that he's individually headlining and then he's on a bunch of the other shows there.

So make sure you go check him. We also got Alex Media, Mark Gagnon, a truffle in the motherfucking building. Volunchifty in the back. I don't know how long they're going to be here,

but they are fucking here. And yeah, man. Life is fucking good, dude. Life is fucking good. It is very nice. I was telling Dove earlier today that I was just walking around my neighborhood and I was like,

I could live in a beautiful neighborhood. Do you remember that story I told you when I was on Percocet and I told the girl I loved her? And the colors were different. Yeah, everything was so beautiful. That's how I felt this morning, walking my dog like without the the stress of knowing that i had to record a

special and knock it out and make sure every joke was right and make sure you know i was getting up and and finding every loose end and make sure i was tying it like to just wake up and go we're just gonna go do a pod later today at a certain time and we're two hours late already on the pod because i was trying to fucking two days on instagram actually yeah we're two days late sorry about that everybody at home but just like is this what normal people do every day is they just have a life of they enjoy their neighborhood is that it no i think overall your stress from after the last show is just completely different. Really?

Yeah. You went from like, oh, it's peace. And then the next day you were crazy. I was back on it or what? No. Wait, wait. What happened? What happened?

I mean, next day we was going for it. Oh, we were partying. Yeah. Because after day one, I felt such a fucking calm. You know, like it was amazing. It was like I was more anxious for – not entirely. We'll get into that. We won't get into that.

But I was more nervous for the shows in San Diego than I was for the day two of special taping. Why is that? No clue. I think the shows in San Diego, I'm like, okay, I still want to make these tweaks and adjustments and get the special right. And this is going to be my last run-through where I can see if the jokes and the timing and the order and everything works well. And then day two,

I was like, okay, I think we got it. Let's just see what happens. And then we did day two, and we're like, oh yeah, we got it on day two. Sorry, day one. It's looking like it's going to be Monday shows yeah they make it but um but yeah just huge thank you to everybody and just walking around with the fucking i i saw a guy on my block watching porn uh just sitting down on the street nice and uh it was

fucking amazing it was a he was an old indian man watching porn on his cell phone, and he had his headphones in, and he thought that he was listening to it on his headphones. And it was just blaring out of his phone. It was super loud, moaning, like when you're trying to do the prank. Yeah. Right? Just, hey, hey. And the guy's looking at his phone like this, and he doesn't want people to think he's watching porn

So he's like looking at like astutely Like he's like watching like a text or something like that And he's like okay And I just walk by And I just hear like It was distinctly Asian It was like Oh

Oh South Asian? Was it Indian porn? I think it might have been South Asian Respect Actually I've never seen Indian porn Are they allowed to? I have no clue

Have you guys seen Indian porn? I mean, oh, no, that's Muslim. No. Yeah, no. Yeah. Whoa. Just Indian comments on. Oh, yeah, they're all over there.

That's because they don't have porn. Ah. I mean, they're all in the comments, bro. Yeah. They go crazy on the comments. I love it, though, in the morning. I mean, he's talking about his stress, but he's like, our neighborhood's so beautiful. And then he's talking about watching someone watching porn.

And then an hour later, we're talking about brunch spots. And I'm like talking about one of my favorite spots. He's like, no, no, no. I went there the other night. Cat-sized rats just walking through. Yeah, yeah, yeah. There's rats. But it's OK.

It's fine. That's New York. It's a character. Oh, Al's showing me a video of two people just having sex on the metro. Yeah. On the metro. That's love. It's love.

It's a city called the subway. This is not Europe. It's a subway. But guys, this is beautiful. You have to let these things happen. It's romance, Dov. Why are you against romance, guys? Dude, I was walking smiling.

I was walking down the street smiling. Not looking at my dog like, if you don't take a shit already so I can get back there and finish this fucking special. Like, everything was an inconvenience because we needed to do the special. Yeah. And now that we have that part of it done, obviously we got to, you know, edit and, you know, really kind of build out what the special is going to be in post. But having that part done is, I don't want to call it an achievement yet because we haven't made it. Yeah.

The special. Job ain't finished. The job ain't done. Yeah. The special job ain't finished. The job ain't done. Awesome. Real Kobe shit. Job ain't done. But there is a part of the job that we had far less control of. Right.

Like you walk into a room of a thousand people. You don't know what anybody's going to do. You don't know who's going to yell out. You don't know if I'm going to say the line right or if I'm going to mess up a line or do these things like we don't know. Right. don't know if i'm gonna say the line right or if i'm gonna mess up a line or do these things like we don't know right and at least in the edit it's like we get to decide if we take a joke or move it over here or cut the joke out or something like now now it's basically man hours yeah now we're building the pyramids it's gonna take a while yeah but it's up to us how many hours we want to sit in the fucking booth the raw material is there yes yeah yeah i mean how do you guys feel what is it like i'm happy that it went well yeah it felt like yeah i got everything i wanted to get from like

the shots i had in mind and uh yeah i'm like looking forward to the edit even though i know it's gonna be it's gonna be an edit yeah yeah it's gonna be fun because we have a lot like yeah we have a lot to work with that's the thing al came to me afterwards and he's like and he's like he's like the hardest part about this is we're gonna have to cut a lot of stuff that we really love yeah and that is best case scenario yeah worst case scenario is we got a stuff and shit that we don't want yeah but it's often harder to not include something that is like a really special moment because it just doesn't fit for whatever reason. So maybe we find another place for it. I mean, like, I think after day two, Al's like,

yeah, I think we got another crowd work special and... Yeah. I'm like, no. We could. Al wants to put out a double disc. Son, we could. We really could if we wanted to. Give him heat.

What did you think about it, Mark? Bro, I was shocked at how well it went. Yeah. Like, going into it, like, I don't know i wasn't i what i personally wasn't like overly stressed i was like just a regular amount of stress right which i don't like the feeling of yeah because like i don't know i'm walking in i was like well i hope the set looks good like i hope the all the stuff that i wasn't even like really in touch with i just hope that stuff is good i hope the dp is good and he turned out to be amazing like yeah i just i just hope that this shit worked out and it did so i don't know that regard like walking into this thing and just having all these other people that

were like good at their job making stuff happen i'm like oh it's a lot easier than doing it with just four people yeah it is interesting going into these things because like i don't think there's skepticism of of us as a team or as a unit. But since we don't operate like a production company, there is always going to be some skepticism about like the skill. Right. Like when you hire a production company, you assume they know what's going on. We don't even know the words for a lot of things. Like there's this thing called a steady cam. Right. Which is this thing called a steady cam, which is allows a cameraman to move around with the camera being steady the whole time, right?

Stabilized. It's stabilized, right? So you don't have the shaking or anything. So the guy can literally run, and I guess it's fixated on some gyros or something like that. Yeah. So basically the camera never moves. Al and I call it the Handycam the whole time. The whole time.

And it's been used in cinema and TV for decades now. But it's a Handycam. I blame you because you put it in my head and I couldn't get it out. He couldn't get it out. So I started calling it Steadicam and then he just kept calling it Handycam. And I'm like, he's not going to know what I mean unless I say Handycam. So we just called it. I think we were calling it Handycam.

We just called the guy the Handycam. They were correcting you for the first three or four and then after a while, literally these professional videographers were are like yeah the handycam but yeah so exactly so we're a little bit rough around the edges but we know what we want the thrust oh my god the thrust the trust we don't know what it is the part of the stage that comes out we're just making up words for all this shit. It's a trust. But what is cool was a cool experience is like at first maybe there being a little bit of skepticism. And then when the vision starts to be more clear for everybody, right, when they like start to see the suggestions that we're making and then see these things happen and you see, you know, like what it looks like when the curtains open. I don't want to lose too much stuff.

what it looks like when the curtains open. I don't want to lose too much stuff, but like also seeing the people realize what they're a part of and then them get excited by it because these guys are production guys. They work on tons of productions. You know what I mean? You work on fucking Hannah Montana. You might not be excited about that. And it's really cool for me to like look at someone who's been in production

for a decade and then they feel like they're actually part of something that's really exciting and there's something that they're proud of. Yeah. And I'm not saying that they put more effort in, but it seems like they really want part of something that's really exciting and there's something that they're proud of yeah and i'm not saying that they put more effort in but it seems like they really want it to go well like they're making like suggestions for creative moves and like that could really help the like help the special and like we'll have a conversation with them like we always talk you know amongst the team it's like best idea wins we don't have any idea we don't have any ego when it comes to the best idea. And you get people offering some shit up.

It was really cool. Yeah. It was really fucking cool, man. Dove, how did you feel about it? It was great. And you couldn't see it from where we were in the control room. Like, you're seeing the screen with all eight cameras up at the same time. And when you watch it in that way, you're watching the special.

It looks amazing. So you guys are in for something. And how did you feel after all the shows when we were just you know hanging out going out and stuff did you feel like you were having fun in austin or no great time right i learned a lot about me a lot of alone time about you that but a lot of alone time in austin i guess you could say like i have alone time yeah when were you alone when was he alone just after the shows you know instead of having companionship he was uh he was alone you had companionship you just didn't close anything that's a new stage of my life where yeah you got to make it up you got to make out you know how

many times dev has said to me like the last month like i got touched over the pants he's bragging about touching over the pants he's regressing back to middle school. Real talk. He used to be a closer, dog. What is this, touch over the pants? So this is a new stage in my life. She was rubbing me over my pants, and I couldn't do it. You sounded like Akash before you got married. Yo, Dub's a dry hump king, bro.

We need one loser in the crew, okay? Akash is getting pussy left and right now from the same girl. But still, we need one. Mostly center. You're just going one one direction no it's not that it's i'm growing up but it was one of these things where it's like you can't people are like oh you're on the road you're picking up girls from the show you're taking them down i'm like no no the girls still look at me like all right you you hook me in but now you

look like a normal nice guy that i would like to date and so you're gonna wait you're not gonna excuse like whenever a girl doesn't get many any pussy, it's like, she likes me too much. Like, how do you even convince yourself of that? That's next level confidence when a girl says, I'm not into it and he's like,

oh, you want long term. Yeah. I see. Baby, this is going too fast. Alex, are you laughing? Because there's other hurdles that I had to face where I was in the dressing room

with one girl and then Alex was like, Doug, remember we were at that restaurant with the other two girls the other night and blah Alex was like, Dove, remember we were at that restaurant with the other two girls the other night? And blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Just selling milk in front of the girl. What hurdle is this?

You don't remember this? No, tell me about this. I must have forgot. I was snitching on everybody. Wait, wait, wait. I'm going to discuss your snitch first. I never snitched in my life. What do you mean?

No, no, no. First is Al. Let's go in chronological order. All right. I got it. No, I got it. I got it. It, I got it. It was shaky.

It sounded a little handicap over here. He just said chiropractic order or something. No, what did you actually say? So first. Can you say the word again? Chronological. I thought you said gynecological order. Okay, go, go. All right, first we're at a solo house, and Dove's talking to this giant.

She was a piece, though. She reminded me of the girls from Dude, Where's My Car, the giant ones at the end. You know which ones I'm talking about? No. And I know you didn't see the movie. No, I did see that movie. I loved it, dude. Astrid Kutcher makes out with a guy.

As you say, capping. Please continue. She was all right, but she's a giant. She was jacking a beanstalk. Yeah. She was tall. No, Amazon was giant. She was jacking a beanstalk. She was tall. She was jacking a beanstalk over the pants, I promise you. So then she makes some joke. She's like, oh, I bet you can't guess my height or some shit like that.

So she knows she's tall, and she's looking at Dove. She's like, yeah, I probably got him or whatever the case is. So they do a little height-to-height, back-to-back situation. And Dove asks Mark, he's like, so who's taller? Mark's like, yeah, she got you. Well, I didn't realize that the height thing is such like a deciding factor for women.

Oh, I'm so tall. It must be tough for short guys. I know. Girls need money. No, they just need me. They want a long term thing with me. That's just how it is. I don't me. Girls need money? No. What a bummer. They want a long-term thing with me. That's just how it is. I don't even think about it in that term. I wear orthotics to give me an extra inch for a reason, motherfucker.

The fact that you call them orthotics. Yeah, they are. Like they're medical, bro. No, no, no. No, no, no. Like it's medical, dog? No, I actually need them for my flat feet. Wow.

And so now I'm like, hey, if I'm going to wear them anyway, I'm going to give myself a look. What doctor prescribed it? They got to heal them. Dr. Schultz is the only one. They got an air bubble. That's different. I ain't wearing no heater. Jordan had an air bubble.

I can't have an air bubble? Son, we wearing all these flat shoes. I need the air bubble back, bro. Son, I wear orthotics is crazy, bro. I do. Okay. But you really think a girl's not going to believe just because she's an inch taller?

She wasn't an inch taller. Two inches is fine. Three inches. I don't know what you want me to say. Five eleven and five eighths. Maybe she was a solid six feet. So you gotta say the same. And also six feet as a Jew is six four. But you also wear short shoes. So give me the lifts.

I'll wear short shoes too though that's what i'm saying that's why i need it all my taller shoe i wear flats i mean i wear ones which are flats so now i need the extra but if you had like an air max like steve oh yeah i don't need that's a one inch pump an air max i don't need them in air max i only put them in my jordan ones i'm flat foot already and pronated i don't need flat flat, flat. Come on, bro. Al's got negative hinges on his feet, bro. I do. His arch is convex. How does that even happen?

No, he do have flat feet. Yeah. Catch your shape ups, dude. But it is funny to watch him walk when I know that his heel is hella high in the shoe. And I see it. It's mad funny. His hella high. I see your heel just popping out the back of the shoe every time you walk.

He's just buffed. That's why he can't wear mids. That's why I can't wear mids. That's why I can't wear mids, bro. That heel pops out. His ankle be buckling like the models on the runway and shit. But it is what it is, man. I got you. I'll give you my comment.

But you really think an inch will make a girl not hook up with you? I legit didn't know that was a thing. It's just whatever it is, just be on my side. Yeah. Very simple. I thought it was going to be like a cute, like you ever play like darts with a girl at a bar and like even if she misses you go yeah no where are you playing darts fiddler's green in orlando he hasn't ever just played darts with a girl they don't give new yorkers weapons they don't even let us wear fitted hats in the bar

that's a good point but we're at soho house and she's got chest tattoos you got it's badass you're riffing with a girl and you're like oh yeah the girl wins you're doing like an arm wrestle with a girl you let the girl win okay hold on hold on i have to say mark might be making a point without even knowing it stop it no no no and i think you're completely right i don't i don't know i don't know no No, no, no. I think there's a reverse confidence for girls who are over 5'10". So instead of being more confident because they're these tall, beautiful women, they actually start to feel insecure because most of the guys they meet are shorter than them. So being shorter than a girl who's 5'11", 6'6", 6'1", is not an inhibitor.

She's just looking for someone who's going to be into her because she's insecure that she's so tall. If a girl is like 5'6", 5'7", she's like, I need a guy taller than me. I cannot date under. But I bet you taller women more often than not date dudes that are smaller than them.

Yeah. I mean, statistically, it must be, right? Like, if you're 6'4, why would you limit your dating pool to fucking 10%, 20% of the population? And also, it's going to be the super cocky, like, rich, short dude who's going to go after and try to climb that tree. Yeah. Just not Dove. That's true.

But he thought he was on even playing ground. Yeah, we're both the same height. You're not the same height. He was on a decline, I think. You're not the same height. I was slouching a little. Which one? Who's the girl who came to the show that you struck out with?

Who was that girl? No, which one? Oh, I think you're confused because there was a Soho day date, and then there was a Soho night date. This guy's working, bro. Like, we don't got shit to do. I know. We don't got shit to do.

How did the weekend go? How did the weekend go? Over the pants rubbed like it's not worth it what how'd the weekend go i mean it went great yo but where was that thanks to you you're busy fucking fraternizing over at the whole house i squeezed in a day date during workout time raya match that raya match she was nice wait that was the same one that was a day date yeah and then she was all came at night. She was all right. And then what happened? You guys went. I know that she said that she had to go at one point. They always have to go. No, no.

You dragged her out of there. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. So when he tried to do that. She was like, okay, bye. I'm being told I have to leave. I was like, okay, duh. Dub was like, it's game time. And you took her to the room.

And what happened? Room too small? Yeah. She saw Vala's fucking top hat in the same room wait are you guys sharing this room what the fuck's going on here no sharing we're hanging off the bed no what happened what happened when you saw the room why didn't the room seal the deal something happened in that room you got her up to the room and then nothing well the excuse for getting out of the room i mean we just worked 15 hours hot ass theater i wanted

to shower and change for the evening and then so you brought her up to shower and change okay and then you're gonna let him live that lie no no let's see let's see so you showered you showered did she shower with you nope so she So she just sat there on the bed? She got ready for the night. Yeah, we were just drinking. Just an old marriage couple? You guys pretended to be married? I tried.

But you had already invited her out to eat dinner. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. She wanted to go out. She wanted to go out. Hold on.

What was the line to get her into the shower? I got it, brother. There was not going to be any way. No, no, no. What was the line? There her into the shower i got it brother there was not gonna be any way no no no there was no way there was you got into the room and your brain is starting to work you're starting to truffle and you're like how can i get her into the shower what'd you say were you like no no no oh someone dropped i took a shower after i realized nothing was gonna happen let me go see what's in the shower i took a shower change after i realized nothing was gonna happen anyway so i was like right male may as well shower and change just feel comfortable

And so you try to like make out you went for the little make out make outs all happen Oh, you're just making out. I'm a make out machine Welcome to middle high school I was stressed all right i almost said the wrong i thought that was a new york thing i thought that was a new york thing but i just assumed you guys do that we are leaving that in hey everybody at home so far alan said gynecological and middle high school. It was a long weekend, bro. I had a lot of stress.

You had too much time to think of that sentence. That's the problem. I had a lot of stress. The sentence was building for a while, and he was like, man, I'm going to fuck up one of these words. I only got five to get out. I know I'm going to fuck up one. I was a hip shooter, bro.

As long as he's just coming off the hip, he's good. Super natural. Yeah. Super natural. All right. But yeah. Thank you, guys. Everybody in Austin. Thank you. All right. But yeah. Thank you guys. Everybody in Austin.

Thank you. Comedy Dynamics, man. Thank you to whole squad, man. It was very, very cool to see everybody's hard work come together and make shit happen. And yes. Do you have a different opinion of Austin now that you've been there on a weekend? Yeah. Yeah.

Way better. Yeah. Way better. We saw a different side of Austinin it's not that what we liked about dallas like i think there's like a bougie-ness in dallas is kind of fun and like we're old and we like comfortable things but there is there is like a like a hip scene there and that is that is fun and i would say unique yeah you know like even the the soho house place you guys fucking love soho house but like going into it it didn't know like even the Soho House place you guys fucking love Soho House

but like going into it it didn't feel like fucking the Soho House in New York or the one in LA it kind of felt like his own thing and uh

that little neighborhood where it was on what was the name of that street South Congress South Congress was cool yeah I thought it was really cool South to Golden Tiger

also that place was dope they hooked us up yeah they really did so uh yeah yeah Vala's never had a meal he liked the entire time this guy is so I mean the way he treats

he likes the meals but he's never had a fucking never been in a restaurant that he's enjoyed the meal it's unbelievable not a single one it's either the meal or the service but you gotta complain about something he's gotta find something listen we have the most Jewish guy ever with us and the Muslims the one that complains about the fucking service the whole time.

It's a fact, dude. You're making up for it. I don't think Dove ever complains. He just gets money back. He'll never say a single thing, right? This is strategy. He'll never complain about a single thing. He'll wait and then get it all back.

The savings come dripping in, huh? Fucking genius. That's dessert. But, yeah, thank you guys. Thank you guys all all you guys absolutely fucking killed it man for real mark al absolutely dove absolutely vala stepping in vala man one of the fucking cameras yeah you had to learn how to use the camera that day yeah like i don't even know if you knew you were gonna man in the camera well good vala loves finding hot chicks on TV. Bro, it was unreal, dude. There's no show.

It's just some random girl giggling the top of her titties to fucking look like the cop from Jurassic Park. That's literally the whole thing. I could hear the guy over at the intercom being like, oh, great shot, Vala. Yeah, we can move off of them. When I was there, all I heard was Vala focus. It wasn't even the camera. It was like, Vala, focus.

Vala, focus. Focus on the show. All he did was say, great shot, Vala. Anyway, it was really awesome to see you guys step up and just fucking kill it. And I know that this is something that we do regularly but not on this scale. And to have people working beneath you that have decades of experience more than you and have all those people really trust your decisions and have all those people, you know, listen to you and respect you. I thought it was really important. Like if you guys said something,

then it happened. And yeah, I don't know. I was just super proud of you, man. And, and I, and I felt, I felt really excited to deliver on those shows, not only for selfish reasons, but also for you guys. You guys put a lot of time into this as well. And we spoke about this a little the other night, but you guys have put in so many hours. You know what I mean?

We're talking about years that we've all developed this, man. And this has been such a fucking collaborative process. And I would have felt horrible if I didn't deliver for all the time that you guys put into it so it was it was really cool to feel proud of what was put out there and it was really cool to see you guys you know excel in those moments no you did your things and you fucking killed it thank you bro that was sick but if you bombed i would have taken it personally 100 you would have let me down i'd be saying that i'm like how could you do this to me how could you bomb and do

this to me and my family? I would have been livid, but I'm glad you didn't. All right, guys, we got to take a break for a second because I got to make sure your dicks are getting hard. Ladies, I got to make sure your dicks are getting hard too. You know what I'm saying? I don't know how y'all identify. You know what I mean? You could be out there MMA fighting during the day

and slanging dang-a-lang-a-night, ladies. You know what I mean? But your dick should be hard. And it should be really know what I mean? But your dick should be hard. And it should be really hard. And fellas, your dick should be hard. I'm pointing at you right there. Just watching this podcast with a soft dick. You could be watching it with a hard one.

Fat. Gorgeous. You know what I mean? With the girth. With the girth. Huh. Huh. But in all seriousness, yo, you guys should have hard dicks and blue chew got your back man okay same active ingredients it's inside cialis viagra all that shit okay but this is the

chew it's the one we rock with you know i mean the one we laid a pipe with we're laying it down with that blue chew and you can too for free try out. Give your girl the night of her life. She deserves it. Ladies, y'all should try it out. Let a man break that back. Okay? Let a man take some discs in your spine and smash them to smithereens. Okay?

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Get your spinal cord severed. Let's get back to the show. Yo, the infamous tour. We got the special in the can right now, and we are back on tour. Vegas is sold out. We'll see y'all coming up, not this weekend, but the weekend after that. Then we're coming out to Kentucky, Louisville. We don't think we've ever been to Kentucky.

First time, Louisville, Kentucky. Make sure you get that. Then Cincinnati, Ohio. Ohio, pull the fuck up on us. I don't care what part of Ohio you in. Get your ass over there. Then we're coming out to Philadelphia. Philadelphia is sold out.

Indianapolis, there might be a couple tickets left. Washington, D.C., first row sold out. Few tickets left for the second one. San Francisco, first row sold out. few tickets left for the second one san francisco first show sold out few tickets left for the second one san francisco by the way they are doing mandatory vacs for that venue because your city's a bunch of fucking cucks but uh those are the fucking rules of the venue not of me okay so stop taking that shit out on me all right i don't make these decisions i don't decide what happens in your states i wish i did because i'd probably cut it off and just send it out into the fucking ocean that stupid city but I don't make these decisions. I don't decide what happens in your states. I wish I did because I'd probably cut it off and just send it out into the fucking ocean, that stupid city. But I don't make those decisions. Madison, Wisconsin, we coming for you.

Then Chicago. Chicago, we got a late show as well. Make sure you get that shit. Early shows sold out. And then we got Minneapolis, a bunch of shows. Fargo, Jacksonville, and then Boston for New Year's. Go get them fucking tickets. We love y'all.

We appreciate that. Also, make sure you check out Akash Singh and the Moon Tower Comedy Festival this week. And make sure you check out his other shows at akashsingh.com.

I know he's selling out them shows in Toronto. I'm sure he's selling out other places. Make sure you go check him out. Support him. Absolutely hilarious. And then support us.

Come check out Mark Gagnon. Check out Derek Poston. Check out Alex Media. Check out Doveagnon. Check out Derek Poston. Check out Alex Media. Check out Dove Mammon. Check out Val Aldino. All on the Infamous Tour. We having fun out there. We love y'all.

We appreciate y'all, man. Whoa. Hey, head over to WTFMediaStudios.com. You can book time for podcasting, book time for photo shoots. You can even book consults with me or Weezy. Head over to wtfmedia.com i'm sorry wtfmediastudios.com and now back to the show all right boys let's get

into it there's this there's this youtuber gabby gabby gabby petito petito yeah okay she is with her boyfriend fiance brian landry fiance brian landry it's fun for you to try to get it and then i'll correct you as you go Okay Yeah let's go Let's go based on what I think it is And then you tell me the truth Yeah

Okay So she was Like doing some Rihanna shit to him Allegedly I mean Right Yeah

Like scratching him up Fighting him While he's driving In the car That's what you call Rihanna shit Yeah That's what happened She started it Yeah Allegedly And Chris didn't finish it in the same way he's kind of elevated it in a unhealthy way

chris had more restraint than mr landry that's probably true yeah which is they're both wrong we just want to state that they're both wrong yeah right but they did react But they did react. Yeah, they did react. Yeah. And, you know, some scientists say that every action has an equal and opposite reaction. Right. Right. Well, sometimes it's more. Sometimes the reaction is even more. Yeah. Maybe.

Maybe. Yeah, I mean, that's a lot of nature. You know what I'm saying? Yeah. Sometimes it's less. Sometimes it's more. Don't be mad at Andrew. Be mad at Isaac Newton.

You know, that's on yeah if you're not in the frame right now uh you agree with everything support the abuse and murder of women fuck isaac newton i know you guys can't help to get the jokes off of that one like oh no it's not okay so basically she was beating the shit out of her boyfriend. We don't know what order it happened. It might have been self-defense on her part. That she beat him up

out of self-defense? Yeah. Well, this is what I'm hearing. So you tell me. You tell me. You tell me, okay? Because I was following this story.

I was rooting for this dude in the beginning. It's hard to not root for the dude in the beginning. Yeah, no, no. In the beginning, I was rooting for him. Again, we're really focused

on the special. Doug's trying to get pussy. You know what I mean? it's a lot of things i'll focus on any dude exactly i mean it would be nice if you focus on one dude for once yeah those girls was acting like fucking brian laundry would you get the fuck away from me put me in jail for a night so basically he's fighting his girl in the woods in a car right got scratches all over him fucking bleeding because his girl's abusing him yeah we know this from police footage of uh when they got pulled over they got pulled over police footage people saying brian laundry what's his name as laundry laundry yeah brian laundry ask the police yo can you just put me in jail for

one night please because this chick is wilding my man said put me in prison please like he would rather be in jail with other fucking criminals yeah right i mean he really wanted to be in prison like he knew you know what i'm saying this guy really wanted to go to jail yeah he. He about to get his wish. Yeah. Right? Probably for life. Okay. Yeah. So then it turns out that shouts to... No, not now.

It's a weird time to do a plug. Yeah, especially for a guy that... Kill Cliff is the name of the park. That's the name of the part of the park. It's the name of the part of the park where it went down probably. Okay? Now shouts to Izzy. Izzy got a new drink. Oh my God. It's a weird time the part of the park where it went down probably. Okay? Now, shouts to Izzy. Izzy got a new drink.

Oh, my God. It's a weird time for a play. Tequila Kiwi, baby. Tequila Kiwi. Okay? Don't go to the national park with your girlfriend. For a guy that fights for a living, I don't know if this is the best time for a play. You're right.

You're right. This is bad. Okay? But, yeah, this is probably the wrong time. But tequila, tequila, tequila. Doug just started drinking. Doug is like, I i'm out i'm tapped out of this tapped out huh okay okay so the guy tries to tap out he tries to go to jail he tries to go to jail he's really serious this woman's a victim of a homicide

he literally tries to go to jail he's like if I'm with this girl I'm gonna kill her and I cannot do that I cannot do that so I need you to put me in prison instead he goes to a motel that's in his mind the next closest thing stays in the motel

she stays in the van the next day they. Right? Stays in the hotel. She stays in the van. The next day they get it on and popping again. Yeah. And then what happens? Shorty goes missing. Yeah. Yeah. She goes missing.

And then he goes back to Florida. Yeah. And he just goes back to Florida like, oh, she didn't get back? Yeah. Like he had no plan? Yeah. He had no plan for how, you know, he was going to explain this. Like he just pulled up and he was like oh shit

yeah fuck where's Cindy what's her name uh Gabby where's Gabby yeah she's in he's driving the van yeah he's driving the van they lived in he shows up he shows up with their house basically he was like on

YouTube like I thought she wasn't posting no videos recently this is weird I thought there was something wrong with my subscription who was i talking to this whole time yeah the water shouldn't want to drive i thought she was sleeping the whole time i was like can you drive for once all right so i wish i was there when he just showed up to the house and his parents were like yeah so where's gabby and he was like oh gabby what does she look like yeah describe her again that youtube i know that name i know that name for sure okay so he shows up goes to the fam and then dips so he told the fam what happened but then at that point she's already reported missing and they know where he

is and he's now a person of interest but he's not actually the main suspect at that point which is weird like he should have been the main suspect at that point, which is weird. He should have been the main suspect off rip. Well, wasn't there another thing that recently happened in that park where two people went missing? So that's another weird element of the story that the bar that they went to the night before she went missing. Okay. There were two other people that got killed at their campsite that were also at that bar. This is like Serpent. I don't know.

You know that show Serpent? It was on Netflix? No. Doesn't matter. It's a lot like it yeah yeah yeah yeah so basically they're like okay these two people got murdered that were at the bar and now this girl goes missing this could be a serial killer now that we found out she's also she was found dead and they found her body oh and the autopsy was a confirmed homicide netflix is salivating. They're dying for that connection. If it's not a connection, it's not as sexy.

But if there's a serial killer that's on the loose. I mean, they'll do an episode of it. One episode, but a serial killer? That's a whole season. That's multiple seasons. Oh, yeah. Okay. Okay.

All right. Anyway. And now the kid has gone missing as well. How did they find the body? I think they just did like a search team with like hundreds of people in the area where she was reported missing. And she was reported missing by that bar they were she was reported missing by her family because they hadn't they hadn't had contact with her since like september 1st and then once they found out that the kid was back home and they were like hey where's gabby he

was like oh i thought she was back with you guys i'm not sure blah blah that's when they reported and does she live in florida she's a family i'm not sure i know she's from new york i don't know if her family's from in florida or not his family's in florida so he killed her by her family what do you mean like how did she die i think her family's house they live up the block right oh i think her family i don't know where like her family they made it all the way back to Florida and then he kills her no her body was found in Wyoming

oh so her family's in Wyoming no her family's in New York Mark Mark what do you know what

the fuck you're saying he lives in Florida yes his family lives in Florida yeah and they saw his truck you said they found her you said they found her

near where her family lives oh no they searched where that's what you said oh no no Where she was reported missing. And how did they know that she was reported missing? Because that's where they last had contact with her.

Where? In Wyoming. Wyoming. At the bar. Where they were camping, yeah. Okay. Got it. Fucking hell. But I'm pretty sure her family lives in Florida also. Okay. Because they saw the van was back and they're like, yo, how the van's back but not my daughter

or whatever the fuck. Yeah. Yeah, so that's what happened. Dude, my dude drove all the way back from Wyoming to Florida all that time by himself and didn't have no plan

or alibi, nothing. He didn't report anything to police. He didn't hit them up at all. He didn't say anything. He's innocent. Call him that. He's innocent.

So he's innocent because they're arguing like crazy. This is supposed to be some fun-ass country trip, whatever the case is. Only white people do this, by the way. I don't get why you guys do this, cross-country trips in a car. Why? Well, how do you guys do it? No, you just fly to your destination.

That's it. What are you talking about, bro? What do you mean? You guys just pack and go across. What the fuck was the Underground Railroad? Yeah, bro. There's 10,000 Haitians under a bridge in Texas right now. Yeah.

They didn't fly there. That's different. Nah, they've been talking about. Yo, y'all think you're better than camping? Y'all do that shit for fun, bro. Y'all think you're better than. Go to Africa. What are they doing right there?

Camping. Camping. Nah, they got houses. They got huts. Of course they got houses, but they also got camping, too. A lot of camping. You've never been in a bush? Yeah.

They got a huge R.I.I. outlet, bro. They love it over there. Son. They camp crazy. I don't like Yeah. They got a huge REI outlet, bro. They love it over there. Son. They camp crazy. I don't like bushes. I like a shave. Go to the Amazon, bro. They got bushed out down there, too.

Black people not at camp, bro. Maybe the best campers. Black people are the first campers. Maybe the best campers. White people didn't fucking camp. Black people had to understand camping. Oh, so you took our shit. No, we had to build houses and shit because it was so fucking cold where we went.

Yeah. Regardless. I'm just saying they cross country tripping oh shit we did take your shit i see what you're saying getting back into it yeah yes we did so now we off that so now she's arguing with him like how can you not be upset living in a van yeah like that shit is and then you have no place to go the only time you can get out is when you have to take a piss or some shit like that apparently they were engaged and then got unengaged and then went on the van trip oh to kind of like reignite their relationship something like or to plan a murder i mean maybe i mean what i don't understand is it seems like she was really angry at him they reconcile and then he kills her nah i think they broke up and he's like fucking i'm out you get home by yourself and then somebody else killed him oh same person who killed the other two people oh my god who's gonna just come back like it's all good yo it could be a

serial killer it could be the same person and now and now she's alone and now he got scared he's like oh shit i obviously look like the killer so now i'm gonna go on the bar and now she's alone and now he got scared he's like oh shit i obviously look like the killer so now i'm gonna go on the run that is he's still on the run yeah yeah so it's like he's just scared right now because he came back like shit's all good because he thought she'd be back too and he probably feels guilty if that's the case that he's like yo i left this girl that you know i was dating that maybe i'm in love with i abandoned her and now she's dead he might have left her right on the side of the road he might have been like i'm out peace and then she dies that fucking night yeah so he is

kind of responsible but he didn't actually kill her yes and if that's the case if that's the case and now he's scared because he looks like the prime suspect and so now he's on the road i don't understand that one because he looks like the prime suspect. Everybody thinks he killed her. But if you know you didn't, you good. How do you prove it? I'm sure there's ways. How? I mean, maybe, however she's strangled, maybe his hand isn't big enough.

If the hand doesn't fit, you must acquit. Yeah, you must acquit. I know, but I'm just saying, as a young kid, you get nervous, and your first thing is like, yo, I'm out. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And so, yeah, now he looks even more guilty. And also that makes sense why he didn't text her or anything like that in between Wyoming and going home.

Yeah, they broke up. It's like, fuck this bitch. Fuck this bitch. I don't want to talk to her. And then he's probably tight the whole way home. Like, oh, you're just going to not call me? You know what I mean? Like, oh, this bitch really over me.

It's a wrap. The relationship is done. But then you would think, again, I don't know what he told the family, like what he told her family, but you would think he would just be like, yeah yeah i left her there and we got in a fight i shouldn't have done it but i had nothing to do with her disappearance but i don't know if he said that whose van was it i don't know i don't know who actually owned it if it's her van he

killed her isn't it girl with a van isn't that the name of the youtube channel i think so i'm actually not sure oh if he took the van if he did it. Yeah, if he took the van, he did it. Yeah. I didn't know that it was her van. If it's her van, then he's a dummy. Yeah. All right, guys. Most of y'all are going to start fast-forwarding right now, so I'm going to say it really quick. I'm MyBookie!

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Keep them cheeks sweet. Let's get back to the show. Or they got in a big argument. He freaks out, kills her, and then goes, oh shit, I accidentally killed my girlfriend. What do I do? Kills her, like, you think he pushes her and she fell on wood or something like that?

Some shit like that. Yeah, they get in a fight, he punches her, and all of a sudden she hits her head and is bleeding out. And he's like, oh god damn it, what the fuck? So I don't know if it's premeditated, but he's like a fucking maniac that killed her. And then he's like, oh, god damn it. What the fuck? Yeah. So I don't know if it's premeditated, but he's like a fucking maniac that killed her. And then he's like,

oh, fuck. I gotta do something. That's what I think. And what about the other two people from the bar that were killed? I think coincidence. It was the same week? Apparently.

It was like the same night apparently as well. Not coincidence, bro. Because it's not like the same exact area because like they were at the bar and then they camped over here and then her body was found in another place. Like it wasn't like super close, but someone could have done it like the same exact area because like they were at the bar and then they camped over here and then her body was found a other place like it wasn't like super close but someone

could have done it in the same night i guess it also depends what the mode of like death was if all three people were killed in the same way then it leads more credence to that theory but we don't know necessarily how maybe the guy had a lot of energy maybe he did it you think maybe he was drinking coke maybe maybe he had a lot of energy that night yeah nice crazy bro you gonna give me a product to promote there's a perfect spot in our show for this watch this oh man yeah everybody's super excited about this story why do you think i think it's the perfect i mean i've heard different things you know some people are saying like i heard some fox or some news correspondent basically being like oh this is missing white woman syndrome and like anytime

this is like the patrice bit like anytime a white woman goes missing like everyone goes crazy yeah exactly a pretty white woman yeah exactly a pretty white woman goes missing it's just the biggest story everyone feasts over it blah blah i think it's kind of that but i also think it's more that you have like an influential like it's the perfect marriage between true crime and like this parasocial influencer relationship because they both had like a digital footprint like hey van life like they had tiktoks going viral like they had this like digital like place in this relationship with people and then she goes missing yeah so it's like the perfect marriage between these like two massive internet cultures yeah that makes the story just go so you have enough followers and enough curiosity from people to like drive

interest to the story and enough digital content yeah yeah that's like what is it called the kindling for a fire yeah like you need there there at least to be some baseline interests in order for the regular news corporations to pick it up. It's almost like the news corporations are fast fashion. By the time something hits Zara, it's already been popular amongst the more independent small brands. And I feel like that's kind of what happens with this. So funny.

Now I'm looking at these, now I'm looking at these like social moments and it's kind of like fucked up, but I look at social moments like purely based on like optics and I can try, try to like judge whether it's going to quote unquote succeed or go viral or not. And there was one, I don't know if you guys saw this one,

but it was a mother with her kid in Australia protesting the lockdowns. I'm pretty sure it was protesting the lockdowns. And they start to arrest her. Her kid is fucking bawling, crying. She's just standing there protesting the lockdowns with like, I guess they're supposed to be inside, but she's got like a sign on her like you have constitutional rights or something. I'm sure I'm butchering the story. So Australians, you know, whatever.

I apologize. Or actually, don't say shit, Australians. You do what you're told. But the kid is bawling. The mom is crying. The people around are, and it's a female officer that's starting to put her in handcuffs and put her in the back of the car. But just the image of the kid crying the mother crying the people around going how could you separate a child from her the woman who's

videotaping saying to the female cop aren't you a mother right and instead of looking at this and be like this is so tragic what's gonna happen to the kid i'm going oh this is the perfect recipe like this is going viral like i'm literally seeing the thumbnails, the kid crying, screaming, the mom screaming, and the image of the female cop that's actually starting it. Like you know that either she has kids or like nieces or nephews. She's betraying her maternal instinct.

Her maternal instinct, dude. I'm like, yeah, this shit is out of here, bro. It's got to be out of here. I think it's the same thing with this story. Yeah. It's like, I don't know. It's partially like the missing white woman thing. But I also think white chicks go missing all the time.

Well, I think there's another aspect to it. Because it's not like missing like white hooker. Right? This is like a way more relatable white girl. Yeah. She's a suburban white chick that lives in an upper middle class family. It's like, yeah. Yeah.

And I think we just got to acknowledge that like they're just way more whites so a lot of these things are just numbers like i guess people like in the same way that i saw asians show up for jeremy lynn with the knicks like that was really special for them they were at the garden every single game for lynn sanity just going fucking nuts because you saw that representation so when it comes to like true crime or comes to things that like scare us right you're scared of the thing that's being represented yeah right so it's like i think the white girl is going i'm afraid of white girls getting kidnapped and killed in the fucking forest and if the purpose of media is to try to terrify people to get you to watch it it's like yeah let's just do the thing that closely resembles you to get you the most scared yes yeah right so like i'm sure like in a way uh get out or those

movies like i'm sure that black people related to the the the racist situations within those movies in a way to white people didn't so it was like really special because i think maybe there and again don't let me speak for you but like there's that like skepticism in a social environment yeah initially yeah and it taps into that really well. So you're like, is this a good white dude, or is he putting some shit on? And that's probably a fear y'all have, right? And this is the worst case scenario.

That's like, oh shit, the nicest ones are actually trying to kidnap me and use all of whatever I have so that they can live long, whatever. This is that for white girls. I'm with my boyfriend. We're on a fun trip. I want to take trips with my boyfriend yeah we're being adventurous and then I he turns on me the person I trusted most yes yes so of course girls are gonna fucking lose their minds yeah you're right and the social footprint that like you can dig

into like you can do all your own internet you can see their relationship yeah you can be like oh he said this on july 12th and i feel like it's actually a veil thing because now people are saying that he was posting from her account for like two weeks oh and they're like well if you look at actually the spelling and the language like she would never say this so they get to solve a murder this is wow this is it this is um in real time yeah dungeons and dragons or some shit like they actually get to play the game it's a murder mystery yeah yes but you know what shit. Like, they actually get to play the game. It's a murder mystery. Yes. But you know what I'm saying?

Like, they actually get to play Dungeons & Dragons. Say what? Have you ever played Dungeons & Dragons? Son, I did that shit one time, bro. I don't think it works like that. No, I did. I swear, I did it one time. And what happened? And then I just beat the shit out of all those dorks, bro.

I was like, I'm not rolling these die no more, dog. Someone else is going to die. Watch this. Here we go. No, I actually did play one time. And this shit was mad fun. Yeah, it's fine. Yeah.

I forget what it was, but exactly the situation. But I remember being there. I remember dying. I remember choosing. You get to be one of the, you get your character. Yeah. You kind of make up the rules as you go, and you all have to kind of agree on that shit. Oh, I didn't know that.

It was probably bodying me on that shit. But it was fun. If you play a long campaign, it's like all these people mutually agreeing. I'm just like, all right, this is what the rules are now. Really? That's fucking crazy, man.

Yeah. This is when you were in your phase of like dressing up and going on mysteries and shit like that. This is Da Vinci Code. This is Da Vinci Code.

Okay? This is Da Vinci Code. It's called the Rose Line. It sent me to a basement with nerds so I didn't get in fucking trouble. Okay?

With Da Vinci Code, I was actually solving the mystery. That was my fucking... That was my true crime. That was my true crime. That was your Gabby the Pedo. And Dan Brown has a new fucking show coming out on Peacock. Okay? Suck dick.

Suck dick, bro. I'm watching that shit. I'm watching that shit. You said Peacock like it was the biggest shit in America. I know, dude. It's coming out on Peacock. Peacock, bro. That's NBC, dog.

That's the motherfucking Peock yeah good luck was that the mbc sound yeah it was really yeah oh i don't remember it peacocks is different oh what is peacock i didn't know that no no peac no. Peacock is fired. Did you know that the CIA sealed a document that there is a portal linking to another... Fuck, I forgot what else it said. It's like the starting screen of the episode. In 1991, the CIA sealed a document confirming that there was a portal to another galaxy. This is why you can never be a full conspiracy theorist, because you'd be forgetting too much shit.

Nah, because I can't be reading the whole shit. You know what I mean? Give me the bytes, bro. Like, I like the bytes. But that conspiracy stuff, like looking through documents all the time? Yeah, you're not much of a researcher. Nah, bro. I got Dungeons and Dragons in play, baby.

D&D! You know what the, uh... I've always been into double Ds. Harry! Harry! The soup heavies.. Soup heavies. The soup heavies. Dan Brown's new show is called The Lost Symbol,

and it's about an early symbologist, Robert Langdon. Yeah. Back in the day. Son, yes. Peacock. Son, Peacock. Yes. You know what's going to be next?

Are you going to get other books? I don't care. Son, you don't like symbology, bro? Nah. You're not into symbology. This guy hates symbols, bro. Dude, why hate symbols so much, bro? Come on, bro.

There's so many secrets that are hidden in the symbols, dude. You need a symbologist. There might be secrets in this room. There might be secrets. You know, why do you think flagrant is written in cursive? Why do you think cursive even exists? Who made cursive? Yeah.

Why do you think human beings are mostly right-handed? The Knights Templar. That's what. think cursive even exists who made cursive yeah why do you think human beings are mostly right handed the knights templar he had a few more he's like fuck fuck i'm running out i just be coming with bars bro yo do they still make kids writing cursive in school ah you don't know how to write cursive that dog. Oh, really? You still got it? That shit is stupid. Really? Yeah, cursive is trash. I tried to write that shit.

When was the last time you wrote something? In cursive? Just on paper. My hand gets tired writing. Really? Yeah. If I'm writing anything long, it starts to get tired.

Really? When was the last time you wrote on paper, dog? God, on paper. I don't know. I actually like to write notes on paper. Oh, so fairly recently? Yeah, fairly recently. You know what I mean? Yeah, I haven't written on paper in a minute.

I'd be right in, bro. Now, my what's it called? His trash. Young Dan Brown over here, dude. Say what? Young Dan Brown. I am Young Dan Brown. Dan Brown is a fucking ledge, bro.

Yeah, he's nice. Dude, that guy. We're watching his show on Peacock. What's the name of it? The Lost Symbol. Robert Langdon. Yeah, the Lost Symbol. The Lost motherfucking Symbol.

Oh, that's the thing I was going to tell you guys real quick. So I was learning about Genghis Khan. Do you want to button up Gabby Petito, okay, as a tragic murderer? Well, I'm talking about the best murderer. I'm trying to blend it all together. Do you know what I mean? Because what I learned from Genghis Khan is that as long as you win and you do it for long enough,

you're not a murderer. It's an empire. You know what I mean? If you just raid somebody, you kill some people, and then you die, you're a murderer. You're an animal. But if you run shit for 100 years, it's just called an empire. And then you're exalted for being the most incredible leader of the time.

The way I watch these YouTube videos of Genghis Khan. That's a good point. Isn't that interesting? There's that quote. It's like, you kill one person, you're a murderer. Kill a million, you're a ruler or something. Yeah, dude. And then the guy goes, oh, yeah, Genghis Khan. There was that one time where he defeated this tribe and boiled all the men alive.

But mainly, he's remembered for the post service that he developed. They developed a post service that predated the fucking Romans or whatever the hell it is. It didn't exist in Europe for hundreds of years. And the guy was just making this argument for what an amazing leader Genghis Khan was. And there's no doubt he was an amazing leader. But that's what the fuck happens with time. As long as you win, time just shines brightly on all the great shit you did. So basically, Hitler's mistake was that he didn't kill enough people.

So here's the thing. Knew that was coming. No, no, no. It actually made me think about Hitler and the importance of defeating Hitler. If you don't defeat Hitler, and he ends up running the world, and it is the German Empire,

people will look back on him like they looked at Genghis. You don't think Genghis was Hitler? Probably worse. Everybody looked at Genghis like Hitler. Yeah. You know what I'm saying? He was wiping out fucking tribes. And it's not like people are like,

oh, he was such a fucking great, what is it called, geopolitical strategist. No, he just boiled people alive if they lost. So everybody was like, I think we should probably go along with him because otherwise you get boiled alive. I don't want to get boiled alive. Yeah, that's the worst.

But what an interesting way. Isn't that crazy? Like an interesting way to look at time. Yeah. Like how much we value winning, how much we value success, that we can overlook the monstrosities that you committed i mean every empire is built on the blood of the people that was defeated before it you know i mean

like we're americans like we benefit from america and we look past all those bro talk about china or something they can do something to the muslims and if they kill us then people people are going to remember the Chinese. Do you recognize Taiwan? Yeah. All right. Say it with your chest, boy. What's up, Taiwan?

There we go. Do you recognize it as a country? Yeah, Taiwan, if you're listening, what's up? You're a country to me. No, no, no. I'm about to get kicked out of this. WTF media is here to show Tamar. WTF.

WTF are you talking about Taiwan for? That's what WTF WTF WTF You talking about Taiwan for That's what WTF Yo I can't wait to do one of these panels With like an actor The only time I would go on a late night show Is if I knew for a fact the actor was going to be sitting next to me And then in the middle of the interview One of these fucking stupid hosts

Is asking me about shit So what does it like being on the road I'm like no it's pretty cool Yo do you recognize Taiwan? How fucking fun would that be? That's all I'm going to do when I meet celebs from now on. Do you recognize Taiwan? Can I tell you how proud I am?

It's on our culture. No, no, no, no, no. Put it back on me. Come on, son. Can you put it back on me? I recognize Taiwan before he changed the answer. I recognize Taiwan before he changed. I love I recognize Taiwan before you change the answer. I love recognizing Taiwan.

Taiwan is my favorite thing to recognize. Do you recognize Taiwan, Alex? Nope. Al? What? Nope. I don't even know where it is. The shoe recognizes Taiwan.

Wow. Big time. Did they make it? Taiwan recognizes that shoe. They're like, fuck. I've seen this shoe before. I was almost about to do the accent I was this close

I thought you were going to do it And then you did white accent Which is more racist Why would you make people who don't sound like that Sound like you I was trying to do an Asian accent That was your best Asian accent If you just bring the bun up a little higher

I look like Genghis Khan Let it rip But for real man we need to start recognizing taiwan and gang is gone yeah and and how are you going to tie this back into the tragic death of gabby petito if this guy kills enough people okay okay right now he's only killed one all right so we got a few more topics yeah possibly three yeah oh shit he could have been the one that killed the other ones too they saw it oh my god yeah so if he oh my god they saw it wipes them all out the kids on a roll listen it's one step at a time right isn't that a famous quote but you have to take one step

if you want to take a lot of steps journey of a thousand miles exactly starts with one murder starts with one murder okay you want to go fast you go alone you want to go far take the van all right so it's a tragic disappearance that happened to this girl it is absolutely tragic what happened to this girl yeah and um what it is absolutely tragic what happened at gabby petito. And this is great. This is actually excellent. I'm being honest with you. This is actually fucking unbelievable.

Flavor is good. Only 20 calories. Will that wake you up? I'm not getting paid to promote this. I just want to let you guys know. I hope not. I hope not. We're not making any, but this is just off the strength.

No one's making money on that anymore. I'm just saying. Shouts to Izzy, bro. The last stylebender. You're saying that Brian Laundrie, and I don't want to speak for you. I don't want to put words in your mouth. You're suggesting if he were to potentially kill millions of people in America, that he could rule America and then not be seen as a murderer.

I think that's his only way out. Just keep going. I think the only way out is in that's also another thing the only way out is you gotta get through hell you gotta keep on killing go in yeah and you have to get comfy in there it's another family yeah that's sun tzu i think sun tzu said that yeah oh i almost did it but i didn't do it i didn't do it because i don't know what the ancient accent of asian it could It could have sounded like what we sound like. Yeah, but, you know, hey, you see?

You know how we talk like that? But, like, maybe they have the Asian version of that. Hey, hey there, you see? There's bad guys everywhere, you know? But maybe they were also doing that. I'll have some duck sauce, you see? Oh, man. Come on, bro.

It's a little dry, you see? I'll have some duck sauce and some soy sauce with that, you see. Hiya. You see. Hiya. Come on, son. Come on now, you see. Ha.

Ha. Why are you doing this? Come on now, you see. You just baited him. They're pretty good with their rent at WTF, you see. Always on time. Chit, chit, chit, chit. I thought they were late, those people. Ha, you see? They're pretty good with their rent at WTF, you see? Always on time. I thought they were late, those people.

Ah, you see? You see? Never seen Taiwan in my life. I don't see it, actually. I don't see it at all, actually. Yo, we got to ask the landlords at WTF if they recognize Taiwan. Yeah. We do have to do it. I'm going to walk in there with a Taiwanese flag.

Do you want to call them right now? I would love to call them. I would love to call them. in there at the time. You want to call it right now I would love to call He he's a fan or he baby he was a fan he's still gonna be a fan yeah, he has to recognize Oh You get old opera They need some fans in WTF. That shit be getting hot, son. We good, we good, we good. When you ask if they have any fans, did they bring you a cardboard box of those?

Or did they actually? How you not panicking right now? We don't have rental space in WTF Media Studios. Do you recognize Taiwan or not? I would have to find it on a map first. Say what? I would have to find it on a map first. You know where that shit is. It's over there. Exactly. It's over there. Well, you can't to find it on a map first. Say what? I would have to find it on a map first. You know where that shit is. I don't know where it's at.

It's over there. Exactly. It's over there. Well, you can't even find it on a map. I guarantee you put a map right up there, I find Taiwan. All right. All right. All right.

Make sure to mark it without labels. Fucking dove snitch. I knew this dumbass was going to bring up just a map with all the fucking names on it, and I was going to point at the one that said Taiwan. How the fuck am I supposed to find it out? If you thought the people looked the same, you should look at the terrain, dude. There's no way I'm going to be able to tell the difference. You're tapping on Wyoming 100%. No, come on.

Come on. Come on. I got this, yo. Bring it up. You got it? Bring it up. Al, stop squinting at the fucking. You're more racist than me.

Yo, stop it. Wow, wow. Don't do that. You're just looking at asia like that that's that's fucked up that's fucked up you're wearing glasses i know you can see perfectly this guy is a wild boy son all right all right here we go that's alaska get it on that's alaska come on labels there we go. Labor. Labor. Labor. Right there. Right there. Yeah. Labor. Labor. Okay. Alright. Go. Go. I ain't afraid of these motherfuckers. Come on. I ain't afraid of these motherfuckers. Alright. Where is it, Andrew?

Taiwan is one of them? No. I got it. It's that little island off the gray shit. Which one? Which one? The gray island. Tell me. Up? Down? Up.? The gray island. Tell me, up, down? Up. Got him. Boom.

Nope. Nope. Yes. Yeah, it is. Yes. Come on. That's Taiwan. I got it.

Did I not? Below, that's the Philippines. I could say racist shit forever now. I could never be racist. I just found Taiwan on a motherfucking map. How'd you do that? With no names. Say what? How'd you do that? With no names Say what?

How'd you do that? Because I know, bruh I know these things, dog I knew that they left They left the, what, the Mao dynasty? Yeah They left the Mao dynasty Or they were the last people who were Mao They were reported missing

They were reported missing after the Mao dynasty Where is Brian Laundrie? Where is Brian Laundrie in 1646? He has no alibi for the Taiwan disappearance. Alibaba? No. Listen, guys. Listen.

I really got that shit, dog. You did. You did. I'm impressed. Thank you. Thank you very much. So I should be allowed to use Asian voice. You guys do.

I don't know if any of us have license to give you that ability. Why not? Because none of us are Asian. Chifty's Asian? How Asian are you? He just watches not? Because none of us are Asian. Chifty's Asian? How Asian are you? He just watches anime. It doesn't make him Asian. It doesn't?

No. He's Asian enough, bro. He's a weeb. He's a weeboo. Are you a weeboo, son? Are you a weeboo? Oh, he's a weeboo, son. Dude, he's a fucking weeboo, dude.

It is true. Sometimes you say his name and just at his desk, he just goes like this. Yeah, Chifty's a weeboo. it is true sometimes you say his name and just at his desk he just goes like this yeah all right but listen asians i just want to let you know i know where the listen all asians because i know all asians are out there struggling under chinese oppression all of them well not all of them but a lot of them some yeah non-chinese yeah uh maybe even chinese and chinese and also jellyfish they're struggling under chinese oppression oh how are they struggling well they're being eaten by them jellyfish yeah they eat jellyfish what dish do they put jellyfish in probably in a bowl i don't see how else you can eat it i'd imagine they'd exist in a ball market i don't think they're grilling them i don't think they're taking the fucking jellyfish and grilling i don't think

they eat jellyfish they eat jellyfish they eat everything i mean i know they eat a lot of seafood i don't know if they eat jellyfish of course they eat jellyfish bro man of war other ones silver dollar pancakes the chinese have been eating jellyfish for thousands of years son when am i wrong about asian stuff can you tell me when am i wrong when am i wrong also by the way if you just say the chinese eat it about most things you're right there's not like there's a 99 chance like if you're like yo chinese people eat paintings they probably do bro like they probably in history there's a 99% chance Like if you're like Yo Chinese people eat paintings They probably do bro Like they probably In history

There's been a time Where they eat paintings bro They do not eat paintings They might be You seen any paintings Up in Europe Holy shit dude Can we edit

And get the special out First before Before we do We're not sending The special to China bro They're not allowed to have it Oh man Son they're not allowed

To have it This is fucking crazy bro It says here Chinese people have been Eating paintings for thousands That's insane I did not know that Oh, man. Son, they're not allowed to have it. This is fucking crazy, bro. It says here, Chinese people have been eating paintings for thousands of years. That's insane. I did not know that.

Yo, bro. Come on. Times was tough. Times was tough. And you don't even know what went in that paint. It could have been berries. You know what I mean? It could have been jellyfish.

It could have been jellyfish. Bro, you think that they were getting them nice clear whites with that jellyfish? That's just jellyfish juice, dog, on a cracker. You don't even know what they're making the canvases out of. Yeah, it could be saltines. Son! No, they made it with animal skin. Oh, that's leather. Yeah, that's yummy. That's leather. You can eat animals.

So the skin there, then to make the colors and the pigments, you use blueberries to make some blues. Son, why are we not congratulating them on this? It is impressive that the Chinese can eat anything. Dude, I was in Chinatown the other day. I saw a guy just holding a hoof in his hand and eating it like a fucking ice cream cone, dude.

A horse hoof. Dude, he just had a horse's leg in his hand like an ice cream cone. He's just licking that shit in the middle of Chinatown, dude. Oh my God, why? Dude, he was just licking it, bro. It was like aown, dude. Oh, my God. Why? Dude, he was just licking it, bro. It was like a fucking ice cream. Why are you assuming the guy's Chinese? But I ate jellyfish.

Tell me what street compares to Mott Street in July. Sweet push carts gently glide. Yeah. Ding, bye. I don't know. Bum, bum, bum. The city's glamour will never spoil. Hey.

The dreams of a boy or girl. You're getting me wet right now. Will turn Manhattan into an isle of joy. You don't know that song? That's a song about Genghis Khan boiling people. But you just got my labia. I guarantee that this fucker started taking singing lessons after Opener Up and after he realized that the three of us can actually sing. I did not.

Your singing has gotten noticeably in tune. I did not. I agree with you, though. And I really think I'd be 100% honest with you. I think it's just because we've been singing more. I swear to God, I agree with you. I think the singing has got better. I think I fell out of tune a bunch in what I just did.

But I agree with you. I think the singing has got better. I think I fell out of tune a bunch in what I just did. But I agree with you. And I think being around you guys and actually hearing what good singing should sound like, I think it got better. I'm by far the worst singer. I acknowledge this. Okay. But I went from a two to like a three and a half. Most improved, certainly.

I am most improved. I just don't want to know you're spending a lot of money to try to surpass us. I considered it. You did? I considered singing lessons. Where were you going to get a singing coach? Say again? Where would you get a singing coach from?

I didn't think about that. Probably fucking Taiwan. I would probably go to Taiwan to do that. They're known as good singers there. Say what? They're known for being good singers. They are. They're definitely good singers.

I saw a Taiwanese guy playing violin with a Timberland string. Timberland boot string he just held it in his fucking mouth and he was just rubbing it back and forth with a What is that? What do they call saw no no no no? It was a duck What you guys are crazy bro Have some respect for different cultures, man. What's the next one? Yeah, let's start the pod.

Start the pod now? Yeah, let's start the pod. Akash is here. He's got some feelings about China he'd like to share with you. Cut to a picture and then just start rolling everything we did. That was all Akash. He wanted us to relay the message. We recognize Taiwan, though. I'm going to go do a show in fucking Taiwan.

I don't care if you guys aren't going to come. I don't care. I'm not performing in China. I'm performing in Taiwan. Or Hong Kong. You might not come back. Maybe Hong Kong. Maybe I'll even go to Macau.

Where's that? Macau. Is that how you pronounce it? Yeah. Oh. Sure. It's like Vegas. Macau. It was Portuguese. it yeah oh sure it's like vegas it was uh portuguese yeah i mean if you say barcelona i don't know why it's it's barcelona oh yeah okay see if you pronounce it like that that's fine

yeah so if you pronounce the city with the accent it's okay it really isn't done that way but it sounds better what al. What? Al. Al, dude. Come on, bro. Al, you got to chill out. You can't just laugh at the sound of perfectly pronounced Mandarin. You're just laughing at the sound of perfectly pronounced Mandarin. That's fucked up.

I don't think it's perfect. It is. There is a casino in Macau that is. Come on, Al. Al. Al, you're laughing at perfectly pronounced. I pronounce that perfectly. It might be Cantonese. I'm not exactly sure.

But I pronounce it with perfect pronunciation. I am respecting culture as much as I possibly can. This is not going to be good. Why is it not going to be good? I don't think it's going to be good. But let's go. All right, guys. We're going to take a break for a second. Ernest. got it in there

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Talk to a dog. Come on. I wouldn't help you at all. And there would be nothing earnest about it. Okay? Holy shit. I'm just saying like

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if it was a black woman that died in the woods would black people blame her Now let's get back to the show, please. Now let's get back to the show, yo. If it was a black woman that died in the woods, would black people blame her? Would they have the same attitude you have? We wouldn't know. We'd be like, why were you in the woods with that white boy anyway? Oh, yeah, absolutely. Absolutely. This is what happens when you're with these white boys in the motherfucking woods absolutely why do you think you brought him into the woods yeah we don't do that stupid shit fuck out of here mark your thoughts on this controversial

take that could probably ruin the future of your career and life about gabby petito i think it's tragic what happened to her what if she was black? That's also tragic. Just being black. Wow. She was no longer white. She became no longer white. That is a big tragedy. Yeah, I mean, it's a tougher life. You know what I mean? It's racial discrimination. You gotta deal with all that shit.

That sucks. That's sad for her. Redlining? Throw in redlining. Redlining? Throw that in. Redlining? Throw in redlining. Also, Thompson-Forbes Act. Yeah, redlining. Throw that in. Yeah, yeah, yeah. What else? Redlining. Throw in redlining. Redlining. Also, Thompson-Forbes Act. Yeah, Thompson-Forbes Act. Okay, segregation. Segregation.

Also, 3-6 Mafia. No, 3-5 Compromise. Yeah. And the 3-6. 3-6 Mafia or 3-5 Compromise? 3-5 Mafia. 3-5 Mafia. Yeah. Yes, that's also very important, too.

So, shout out to all of them. And also, it's... Okay. Nat Turner. Son of a... What's happening to you Nat Turner your old Nat King Turner that's kind of fire

your old Nat King Turner is coming through with the bat you know what I'm saying you got that big stick you know what does bat stand for? Nothing. The bat hit a bat.

I didn't know. Actually, I don't think baseball was even invented yet. Yeah, I don't know. We just said Nat Turner and Miles walked in the room like, is he coming again? I need to be with my people. Miles looks fly, bro. Yeah, you're out here killing it, dog.

Is that a new hat? Nah. He don't even talk. He don't even get words. Miles freshly shaved. Miles Reynolds over here. Yo, you really are Miles Reynolds. How much pussy you guys since we were gone?

Look at too much to count. I know. Genghis Khan over here. Is it true that Genghis Khan had a child with every single woman in his tribe? I don't think that's true. No, it's true. I heard that was true.

I heard that like if you're Asian, there's like a 99% chance you can trace your lineage to Genghis Khan. Oh, I've actually heard that. I've heard there's like a disordered amount of like a genetic coding that comes from the A's on Especially if you're from the East is that why they all look I'm not gonna get you know what I'm not gonna It's inexcusable you would make sense if you could all come from one person it's just no that's just Similar they all look like Angus on there. No you're speaking in They all look like Genghis Khan there. You all look like your fucking great-great-great-grandfather. I think that makes sense. I'm uncomfortable with conversations.

I feel like you're looking for ways to say that. But that makes sense. I'm on board now. He's making a good point. Even if he doesn't know. I'm on board now. Here we go. I don't even know if the camera's point has been on board now. If I was on board, here we go. Here we go. I don't even know if the camera's point

has been on our gosh. It's been on our gosh and it's bleeding my man. I'm just watching the ones he's calling for because I wanted to get this in it. I kicked this table so goddamn hard.

My fucking ankle's on fire right now, dude. It is literally on fire. I literally hit that shit and I was like, my cow, that shit. All right. Rest in peace, Gabby Petito. Oh shit. Alright, rest in peace, Gabby Petito. Rest in peace, Gabby Petito.

What is her name? Petito. Gabby Petito. Yeah, hopefully the justice is served for you soon. Alright, you want to talk about the racist car mines restaurant in New York? Yo, yo, yo, yo, yo. What kind of racism are we talking about? What do you mean? What kind of racism are we talking about what do you mean what kind of racism are we talking about what do you mean by kind like like who on who oh this is i guess

it would suggest white on black caucasian against black yeah caucasian okay damn i can't say that shit my caucasian my caucasian against black yeah it's my caucasian yeah that's what they're suggesting in the story okay yeah so basically uh we love carmines too bro yeah i know it's sad what happened y'all i mean family style place basically it is oh i know carmines now the italian spot in times square yeah big spot fuck man i'll break down the story and then you can uh let me know what you think basically yeah there is a group of eight black people from texas that were glad you called them a group because you called them something else before when we were talking what are they going when you said when

they're more than you said when there's more than you call them what'd you call them what did i call mark stop it mark word i didn't say the word i didn't say the word you're saying i didn't say no what'd you say what did you say i said it's a group i didn't say the word you're saying i didn't say any no what'd you say what did you say i said it's a group no mark you used a different word what were you saying what is it wrong with mark i haven't thought about it i was trying to stall till i got a good one but it didn't come okay go all right so a group you said a group. There you go. You call them a gang.

He might call them a gang. You call them a pride. What? You call them a pride. That's weirdly a compliment, I feel like. Say what? That's weirdly a compliment if you call a group of black people a pride. Well, if you really look at-

A bunch of lions. The lion. If you look at Lion King as a metaphor for the black experience in America, as Charlemagne says, then that would be historically accurate. Yeah. Do you subscribe to that, Alex? I think so. But then it's kind of like gay pride, and then I be historically accurate. Do you subscribe to that, Alex? I think so. But then it's kind of like gay pride, and then I don't know if you necessarily want

to co-opt that. Holy shit. I'm on board. With? Yeah. All right. Lil Nas X is killing it right now. What?

Lil Nas X. He's killing it right now. He is killing it right now, dog. All right. Well, in that case, there is a pride of eight black people that were- Whoa. What? Why you got to say black like that? You said that was- Why'd gotta say black like that you said that was

no why'd you say black like you did say black in a weird way capital b dude he had capital yeah you're supposed to capitalize it yeah but you said it in a way where you were trying to say something else what was i trying to say no you put the k k k in black right i heard that how can you tell you snuck three k's at the end of black, and we didn't even notice it. How did I say it? You said there's a pride of black people. Yeah, you exhale. What should I say instead?

Can you tell us to stop being racist? What should I say instead? Try to not be racist when you tell a story. Okay. I know it's hard. It's hard. Okay, so there were a group of African-American folks. Were they beautiful?

Yeah, they were beautiful and good. Do you know that they were African-American? Were they Jamaican-American? Ooh, yeah. Like, how do you know that they're African-American? They could be Caribbean. You don't know where the fuck they're from? Why would you assume it's Africa?

Yeah, I mean... He's so insensitive, bro. Yeah, that's a good point. This guy's fucking... Dude, borderline, dude? Yeah. This guy's borderline, bro. You are borderline.

Okay, so how should I say it then? Just say it the way you want. Just say it the way you want. Dude, a basketball team showed up to Carmichael. Okay, go, go. And then basically four people went in. They all showed proof of vaccination to get inside the restaurant. And then there were four more people that tried to meet up with them after.

And then they asked for proof of vaccination and they said, oh, we don't have it. And they said, oh, well, you can't go inside the restaurant and join the rest of your party. And they said, oh, well, no, we're going to join them anyway. And then they got into a huge brawl and they had to be carried out of the restaurant and forcefully removed.

So they forced themselves in there even though they weren't allowed. Because they were just going to kind of link up with their table is what I've read. And now they're suggesting that the hostess called them a racial slur. Which one? She said they were a basketball team. I know, which is super racist.

Did she use the big one or not? And also, what color was the host? I think she was white. I don't know. Caucasian American, I guess. European American. She was a white woman that used, did she say the N-word? That's what they're alleging that she said. And that's why

they reacted in the way that they reacted. And they still wanted to eat there, even though they were called the N-word. They were like, we're going to show you, teach you a lesson. We're going to fucking eat all the pasta. 20% tip. Yeah. On top of that. So take that. And then the food's good. So then there was a Black Lives Matter protest outside of Carmine

suggesting that two things. One, that they were you there. Wow. He was working, bro. Tick tock at a million point one right now. Oh, I run all by myself. Hey, respect with no help from Chifty. Yeah. And then they had a protest basically alleging two things. One, that the hostess used a racial slur and that she lunged at the patrons initially and she should be removed from her job and secondly that the vaccine mandates are racist against black people because people of color in new york are uh disproportionately unvaccinated

all right guys we're gonna take a break for a second cushy dreams i said it before yeah i still got him i still got it try to fast forward that you can't i already got it dude now we're in we're locked in we already know what it is we're fucking fucking locked in. Cushy Dreams, okay? Greatest CBD on the fucking planet. It's not even close. They got the flower. That's what they do. You got the flower.

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do exactly what you need to do and i suggest that you get that ass on them that's what we're smoking on tour and that's what we smoke when you chill i can't be smoking weed that shit makes me depressed okay so i need to do something else i like the communal aspect of smoking i like hanging with the boys but i still am able to get my shit done okay and that's why i fucks with cushy so that's what y'all gonna fuck with cushy if you smoking with that c b d so here's the deal you go to cushydreams.com that's k-u-s-h-y dreams.com at checkout use the promo code flagrant you're gonna get 20 off your next order smoke your cbd with the promo code flagrant you get 20 off today go get that shit now let's get back to the show i just think you gotta come up with a better term if you're gonna

talk about uh sex or fellatio okay What is your favorite term for some sweet cock sucks? What is your favorite term? Guys, this is a serious political podcast. What is your favorite term for a sweet cock suck? Well, not like we would ever speak about our girls like this, but what is a good term if you were going to ask for a sweet cock suck from somebody, hypothetically speaking, obviously not your girl, but just if you were going to ask for it in the world, let's say you you're in a dream you can't control yourself and you're getting a sweet cock suck right what how would you ask for it what would be your way of asking for it well i learned a lot of stuff from dove so i would just say what dove taught me and what did he say do you want to make it a hollywood that's what I normally say. Whoa! Holy moly.

Zang. That is crazy, dude. That was fire. He saw me using his position of power within the entertainment industry to get sweet cock sucks from girls sometimes? That was fire. To give or to get. Oh, my God, Dub.

What power do I have? Are you a liability? I would beg for girls just to come to the show. Just a lot of dudes. Well, you don't have to insult me. Oh my god, duh. What power do I have? Are you a liability? I would beg for girls just to come to the show. Just a lot of dudes. Well you don't have to insult me. You don't have to insult me. What are you gonna give him five minutes? What a piece of shit. What a fucking real jerk this guy is.

You're getting too defensive. He just put me on Rick's casting couch. We're all fans of Rick. What's wrong with that? Yeah, we like Rick. Rick is the man. He's the fucking legend, dude. Is he, though? No, he is the man. Nubby with the thing. Nah, the vein. He's built like you. You guys have the same body.

You have abs, but you're fat. Did you tell him about the ab competition? No, you're not ready for this. The ab competition actually might need to get brought up. Stop calling. Stop rebranding it. It's just who looks better in three months. Ab competition.

He's rebranded to ab competition. But this is what they do. They rebrand. This is what they do. Jerusalem's rebranded to Ab Competition. But this is what they do. Jerusalem's everybody's city. It's not. We're not rebranding. You threatened me like you probably have done many women to get backstage. Remember how you said he was going to help us

get more beautiful women in the front? Oh my God. That was a legend. remember how you said he was gonna help us get more beautiful oh my god please god god god god that was a legend please guys i'm doing so much like oh man i didn't know i was gonna be in charge of like the crowd uh filling in this the house and shit like that he's like all right guys like i'll go i'll find some hot girls and i'll bring them to the front i'll sit them down i'll i'll do that hard job. If I have to. Yeah. It was causing you such great

pain. You'll take them off a long line and escort them to the front. 97 degrees outside. They're just sweating. Makeup just running down their face. And then you were just going to take them off that line. Like what a fucking hero you are. Sucks to be a hero, doesn't it? That was a legend. Thank you. It was hard work. line like what a fucking hero you are sucks to be a

hero that was a legend thank you it's hard work that's how you get sweet dick sucks you can get sweet cock sucks like that whenever you want okay al what is your term for sweet cock sucks like when you want a sweet cock suck what do you do i don't know i think what was that symbolism shit that you guys like oh dan brown yeah dan brown yeah i'll just wear a shirt like Mark's and just point to a little cock on a shirt. Oh! You know? Cock sportif. Whoa!

That's smart, actually. That's actually a good idea. And you'll just say that, and then she'll know what to do? Yeah. What if she thinks it's cock time and she doesn't think it's sweet cock suck time? What if she thinks she's going to get poked? What if she thinks she's going to have sex?

How do you make sure that you're communicating the exact thing that you want done? You might give her like a Sammy Sosa. One of those, you know? Kiss to the chest and then kiss again. Interesting. So you'll never say explicitly that you want sweet cocksucks. No, no, no, no, no. Interesting.

Come on, guys. Let's brash. What? And Dove, you can make up for yourself right here. How do you let a girl know this is hypothetical, this is not real?

How do you get it over the pants dick rub? How do you do it? How do you get a girl to stop sucking on your nose and start sucking on your cock? How do you get them to switch? How do you get them to switch? Well, you know about the Dove Walk, which was created in college.

I've explained it. The Dove Walk. The Dove Walk. No, my sweet way. What's the Dove Walk? What's the Dove Walk? The Dove Walk. Do you know how they say below job in Italian?

It's a bocchino. It sounds cute. Can I get a little bocchino? A little bocchino. The Dove Walk is hilarious. What's a Dove Walk? We got a, what's this? No, no, no.

He can't say it. He can't say it. That's on Patreon. Patreon.com slash flavor2. We will tell you guys what the dove walk is. But let me tell you something. This is legendary and works every time. What?

Yes. Is this like when I agreed to that walk? Yes. You remember this? Yes. When we were in LA. Yeah. And I was like, man.

You don't remember that shit? You don't remember this? When Dove in LA? You don't remember that shit? When Dove gave him the walk? A little poquito. He gave him a little boquino, dude. Bro, you don't remember this shit? They just walked down, all you heard was, This guy loves China. Why is he talking about China all the time?

I pointed to the cock and they were like, Alright. I want to hear about this dub walk. We got that. We got to record tomorrow. You got to give him the dub walk. Okay? This is next level guaranteed dick suck. This is how you go guaranteed dick suck.

But didn't we just say he doesn't close? Say what? We just said, this was back in college. And he's been bird scootering a lot more. That actually makes a lot more sense. I don't know what that means. What is it?

He's been bird scootering. He hasn't been able to go on dove launch oh and i gotta make it to the gauntlet of you guys do you understand how much i have to think about how to avoid getting roasted by andrew i'm sorry you're five nine like i don't know what do you want me to do like five ten five ten five ten i don't know why you're five ten yeah yeah yeah six five ten stings way more yeah moroccan american American. What are our heights, what are you? Five, 10 and a half. Five, 10 and a half.

Yo. Say something, say something. Say something. We blow fractions every year. Everybody wanna round up. I'm rounding up, motherfuckers. Blame it to those fractions. Everyone's got fractions going on.

What are you, Marc? Five, 10 and a half. You piece of shit. Yeah, motherfucker. Five, 10 and a half. We all rounded up we rounded up you have to go a little bit above the half

I'm 5'11 and 5'8 yeah but once you're.5 it rounds up come on boy is that it? okay Gabby Petito let's conclude it was her van I just got confirmation from TMZ Shifty

it was her van the whole, my God. Yeah, I just got confirmation from TMZ Shifty. It was her van the whole time. This guy's an idiot, bro. Okay. So he murdered her. In the meantime, Shifty, can you go to Newtown and get a Majadra plate times however many of us need a Majadra plate? That would be one, two, three. No? No, I told you I'm juicing.

Oh, you're juicing this week? Yeah. Oh, man. I'm brusco steroids gang. Oh, man. Not that juice, bro. I want chicken broth. Oh, God.

How do you do this? Why are you brothing? I know. What cocks, dude? You're a fucking cock, dude. I'm full. Oh, can we talk about these conservative cocks? What cocks?

Dude, you conservative fucking cocks are so lucky that these mask mandates exist. So you have something to like take your fucking energy and put it towards. Speaking of energy. Pinkies up. And how does that taste? I got a calm down. Refreshing. I literally got a calm down.

Show that logo. I want to touch my dick. I want to touch it, dude. I want to touch it, bro. I want to touch down, dude. Refreshing. I literally got to calm down. Show that logo. I want to touch my dick. I want to touch it, dude. I want to touch it, bro. I want to touch it, dude. I get why Izzy almost fucked Paul Acosta in his ass after the fight. Because if you have one of those tequila tequilas or whatever that is. He just clipped up.

He just clipped up big time. Dude, I was clipped, dude. I was super clipped. Yeah, this guy's clipped up. For real, bro. Yeah, respect. Wouldn't I have been judged? You know they invented counting.

Did they? Who? People in Newtown. No, no, no. Did they really? Indians invented counting. Oh, remember that? That fucking stupid thing? They invented zero. Don't get me started on invented zero oh god don't get me started on that mark don't get me started what is that were they trying to describe women's rights

why did they invent did they need a number to describe women's rights is that was that what it was they were just sitting around this girl is trying to take stones off of her. Guys! Did women have rights in ancient Scotland? I don't know if they did. Yes, they did. I don't think they did. They made the men wear a skirt. You don't think that women were running shit

in Scotland? That's good. You're not going to wear a skirt if you were to tell you. You're going to wear a skirt if we tell you. Okay? You just go out there and guess at freedom. And then you just come back here and put a fucking skirt and lick my fanny. Okay? That's a good way to say it.

Lick my fanny. That'd be a more polite way. To say get your dicks up? Yeah, yeah. Lick my fanny? Dude, that'd be crazy, crazy dude if you want to be polite nah dude i'll say that i just go turtle time revenge of the ooze what is it what is the second one revenge of? Or what is it? It's going to be ooze. Oh, no.

Do I have enough drinks that are caffeinated? I'm just drinking coffee and an energy drink. Yeah. Yeah, this episode is a little disjointed. You know what I mean? All right. So what do we do at Carmine's? Should we go protest or what?

I think that we should go to Carmine's. And I think that we should do a Black Lives Matter protest. Yes. Let's go. Now you guys are talking. Yeah. I would like to. I think it's the right thing to do. Okay. Yes. Let's go. Now you guys are talking. Yeah. I would like to. I think it's the right thing to do.

Okay. How would you like to protest it? Signs. Signs are good. I think signs would be a good place to start. We could chant and say, no justice, no peace. Yes. No justice, no peace is a great thing to say because it's true.

Yeah. And then we could get a lasagna. Okay. And then give it a bad rating. Then we could give it a bad rating. Don't want to support the business. On blistered peppers. Okay.

We're going to give it a very bad rating. Honestly, the lasagna was kind of dry, but it had good flavor. And I think that'd be a biting insult. The service was shit. We say the service was shit. Yeah, yeah. Okay. I like that.

Now, just out of curiosity. Maybe we do a White Lives Matter protest also. Well, if we show up to the Black Lives Matter, is it wrong if we're just like, show time, and we just start doing flips and stuff like that? Is that, what are the rules on that? I think that passes.

That's okay. That's okay. That's okay. Show time. If it's in solidarity. You can do anything you want as long as it's solidarity also. Okay.

You gotta execute it. Can we take our hats and then flip it in the air with our foot and then catch it with our head? and then okay protest with that and then you're gonna do a little murder dance after and shit like that i will do a shmoney dance after there you go but as art can art be a protest is art a form of protest 100 yes it is yeah if you say i'm on a high school basketball team we're just trying to raise money for some jerseys that's it yeah do you want to buy some m&ms yeah yeah okay if i show up and i go do you want to buy a flower for your girl you love your girl you want to buy a rose flowers for the lady if i do that is that is that a sign if

it's a solidarity the migrant yeah yes Are we supporting migrants? Yeah, yeah. Okay. Yeah. It's an all-lives-matter protest. Do you want to support all you support kids in cages? No? Buy roses to no support kids in cages.

Yeah. So if we do that outside of car mines, I think it could be. Do you think that's cool? Yeah. What if we climb down from the roof dressed in all black? Yep.

M-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m climb down from the roof, dressed in all black. Yep. Oh my God. How does that get me to crack something? Is that? Is that? Is that? You couldn't have picked something. You got a butt, right? Is that?

Yeah. Is that a thing or is that not a thing? I mean, it all sounds. I think if we're in solidarity with all people that are oppressed, that's important. That's what we have to do. It's an All Lives Matter protest. It's an all. But specifically black people, but also all lives. Come on.

You see this guy. Wait, but it's included. I'm kind of going with him. Yeah, black people are included in all lives. And if all people are not allowed to go to karma, it's because of vaccination laws and we got protests. We don't want to segregate society. We don't want to do it based on race.

Yeah. Okay? We don't want to do it based on religion. We don't want to do it based on medical history. Yeah. Okay? I mean, do they ask you if you've had a negative herpes test before you go into a venue? Alex? Yeah. Do they ask you? Do they ask you if you had diabetes before you go

on your candy store? Yeah. And then what? Oh, I just want some candy. Sorry, my pee tastes like sugar. You fucking bored losers. You fucking bored QAnon losers in my comments. Dude, what fucking loser? I control the fucking venue policy. This guy's a socialist all of a sudden. This guy's AOC. This guy's AOC. You're fully AOC.

Fuck AOC. Fuck them all, dude. Did you hear that that bitch that made her the dress is a tax cheat? How hilarious. And that's why she was looking shook in all these pictures little baby little baby no little baby was at the met gal looking lost but i guess also does that i'm talking about him just in the car just like looking stunned you think little baby was that lost because he knew that pat tech was fake? And he was like, fuck, they're taking pictures of this shit.

This shit going over here. Not too close. Not too close. Why you got to be so close? Just hiding it behind Megan's ass. Six feet. Six feet. That's embarrassing, though.

What? Getting caught with a fake watch. All that shit's fake, bro. Nah. Not all of it. Also, I don't care. Wait till I get a fake watch. This is a fake Apple watch.

This is fake. I don't care about fake watches. They care. Who's that? But watch. This is fake. I don't care about fake watches. They care. Who's they? But imagine if they paid real people who actually can afford those type of watches. No, that's not what you meant. That's what I meant. Wait, Andrew, you can afford.

Actually, you don't know their fucking pronouns. You don't know how the fuck they. That's how Lil Baby could identify. Yeah, yeah. He didn't even identify as an adult. Okay? Or big. Or big. He could be big man. He's't even identify as an adult. Okay? Or big. Or big.

He could be big man. He's like, nah, little baby. Little baby. Yeah. But imagine putting down $100,000 for a watch.

$400,000. No, $400,000. $400,000 large. Yeah. And that shit was worth $200. You could never trust that jeweler again. That's crazy.

The jeweler's only job is to know if it's real or fake. Yeah. That's their only skill. They don't have to design the jewelry. Nothing.'s only job is to know if it's real or fake. That's their only skill. They don't have to design the jewelry. Nothing. They just got to know that that shit is real or fake. They knew that that shit was fake and they looked at him

and they were like, this dumbass is going to pay extra for this fucking watch, guaranteed. You think he paid full price or you think he just got that shit for 500 bucks? No. I think he got it for maybe... Like $200,000. He's like, yo, I gave you a deal on it. No way. I'm telling you. $100, I gave you a deal on it. I'm telling you. 100 or 50.

Yeah. And I think it might have been maybe he knew it was Fugace. Is it racist if we sell watches at Carmine's? Whoa. Is that? If we sell, what is it called? Patek? Patek Philippe. Yeah, if we sell Patek Philippe. Patek Philippe. Hey, who wants a watch? Watch this Rolex, Rolex, watch.

At the protest. Are we allowed to do that in solidarity? In the restaurant? Yeah, not at the protest. In the restaurant is cool. What if we came in to the restaurant with a little toy in one hand and in the other hand we were like,

AA battery! AA battery! Oh, we canceled. Oh, this is good. Are we canceled? Yeah. Oh, we canceled. Oh, this is good. Are we canceled? Yeah. Oh, and it was the secret of the ooze. The secret of the fucking ooze, man.

Oh, I feel like we got that right. This podcast would have been way better. I think it'd be okay. I think it'd be acceptable. Is there a group that we haven't made fun of yet today? We've pretty much attacked every group. Is that fair? White women.

God, it's rant. Okay. Yeah. Check the boxes. We've pretty much attacked every group Is that fair? White women White Goddish rant Okay Yeah Check the boxes White people stealing camping from black people Yeah they did I gotta get that back Actually no you can keep that

I think we're about to get back We're like fuck this camping Yeah yeah keep that What do we think about what's going on in the border? Also I didn't know that we bordered Haiti Did you guys know that? I had no clue I thought Haiti was an island I didn't know where Taiwan is But i didn't know that we bordered haiti did you guys know that i had no clue i thought haiti was an island i didn't know where taiwan is but you don't know where haiti is well i thought haiti was an island i thought haiti shared an island with dominica republic no it's

right on the southern border i guess it is mexico and then haiti right there and why was taking them for so long why weren't they coming in before i think they were going the wrong way they went south and they're like oh my goodness man yeah oh my goodness explain that to me where'd they come through so after the earthquake in haiti a lot of them fled to like south america yeah and then they were given like political asylum in like parts like argentina and like southern south america and they lived there for a while and then times changed and those countries had like more desperate financial situations so they started like kind of kicking them out they removed like their political asylum status give them like tourist status and so then they kind of were just like refugees again and had to like kind of move their way basically through like the southern like

continent to then get to del rio and now they're there and now biden administration's like all right we're gonna try to deport them but like they can apply for political asylum but they have to either they have to get the application, they have to get it approved through their filing system, then they either approve it or deny it. If they deny it, then they get flown back to Haiti. And if they get approved, then they're able to live here. Who flies them back?

Delta. We pay for that? I mean, the government, yeah. Man, get out of here. What? That's crazy. You got to pay to fly them back. What?

How much do they get them back back that's not on us well it is because they're here they got here yeah and now we want them to not be here because they don't have political asylum so you gotta pay to fly him home we probably send the bill to haiti be like yo this is what you owe us that's cool we'll probably wait in a while to get paid back control your peoples they said put on our tab yeah yeah that's right they probably need super debt right now yeah no but that is kind of crazy we pay so like anybody can come here and then you just get a first class ticket home i don't know this first class i mean i don't even get a first class ticket no but you get to fly like that's probably a lot of their first time even on a plane yeah maybe

so if you want to just fly somewhere in your life, might as well just try to get into America. Like, I mean, can you just, can I sneak into America and be like, no, I'm actually from Bali? I'm here for refugee status, but I'm really from Bali. And they're like, all right, well, sorry, you got to go to Bali. Shucks. And then you send me to Bali?

We should try that. I mean, yeah. That's ridiculous, man. We should try that. I mean, yeah. That's ridiculous, man. We should try that. I mean, how annoyed would you be if you got a connecting flight, though? Say what? I can't even get to board a direct. Yo, come on, fam.

You're really going to put me through Frankfurt? And I would threaten him. Be like, I might sneak out. You want me to sneak out of Frankfurt? Huh? Huh? You want me to do that shit? Yeah.

It's about, hey, Germany about to get a little more Balinese. Direct. I want direct. Real talk. You better send me direct or I'm escaping. Yeah. I'm escaping. It's about Hey Germany about to get A little more Balanesian Direct I want direct Real talk You better send me direct Or I'm escaping Yeah I'm escaping

You know I escape I'm out here escaping bro I'm escape artist If you're deported on the plane You're probably so happy That you're probably Like having a great time Getting drinks and shit

Son you won Yeah You fucking won Double Biscoff cookies Who cares Yeah All day You're not gonna eat a lot

In your homeland Stuff it up That's what I mean Oh did we talk about that karen that i sat next to oh my god was that before we got no we have to i think she was getting deported that's why she was so upset 100 we have to talk about absolutely murdering somebody on a plane but uh um okay so but just in conclusion with the haiti, I don't think that's fair that we fly them back. What I do think is fair is if you show up to our borders, because we do have a rule where we accept refugees, right? We want, we are, what is it, give us your hungry, give us your poor, whatever. That's part of like the credence of America.

So I like the idea that you could come and you could apply for that. And then we see if you actually are a refugee or not, you know, because you could just be a fucking terrorist and then say you're a refugee and then, ah, welcome to Del Rio, and then fucking, I don't know, blow up some airport or some shit. Who knows? Also, if they're terrorists, you could just fly in and be like, yeah, I'm here for two weeks, and then do some terrorist stuff. Well, we also vet you wherever you're flying in from.

Not like anybody can just get in. Yeah, you go through customs and they're like, all right, you're good. Oh, you're white. You know what I mean? They ask some fucking questions bro You speak English perfectly but if you were there You know like they're gonna have Right like it's gonna be a little harder If you just visit Iraq once in your life

When you go to the airport it's a problem Really? Four hours early you have to be Go through your whole luggage everything I saw this shit happen to a guy In the airport Took every piece of his luggage off the fucking belt Put him in a room Whole luggage, everything. That's factual though? I saw this shit happen to a guy in the airport. Took every piece of his luggage off the fucking belt,

put him in a room. They were there for five hours. Damn. And what did he end up doing? Say what? What did he end up doing? They killed him. They killed him.

At the airport? Yeah. And why? Why'd they do that? Because. Because they were mad? He was Muslim and we haven't talked about them yet on this podcast. So you killed them. No, you did. You said something about

rocks. I forget exactly. So they didn't kill him actually. No, I think eventually they let him in Canada. And you also talk about how Bala is the sour complainer. I don't know if that is anything. I think it's more of a Pakistani insult. That's not much of a joke. It's just real.

You can find an you get a second passport so that you get stamped a secondary passport so if you're going to a Muslim country... Oh yeah, they still let you. If you fly to Israel, you get a second passport? No, they don't stamp your passports. They want your tourism and your visits, but the stamp causes a problem

when you visit other Arab countries, so now they just stamp a piece of paper and put it in your passport, so you don't even need to get the second passport. You just get that little paper. You don't have that lit stamp. I tell them, I don't need that paper. Stamp my passport. We had a hard time going to Russia. Stamp it. Oh, that's right.

That's because we were smuggling goods. They thought we were spies. Oh, that's right. Also, don't we want to pay for the flight back just because it probably costs more to keep them in town oh I don't think we should keep them in town this should be the thing cages aren't that expensive

these should be the rules you don't want Kodak Black in America son I love Haitians that's what I'm saying we gotta keep Kodak Black in town these people are not Haitian what are they they're probably Dominican That's what I'm saying. We've got to keep Kodak Black in town. These people are not Haitian. What are they?

They're probably Dominican. Lying. They're probably Dominican, and they're lying about it. You think they're just lying? I think they're Dominican. They're lying about it. Are they doing a French accent? Racist? Of course.

You think they're doing a Creole? First of all, it's not French. Sorry. Okay? It is not fucking French. Okay? What do they speak? What is the language?

Creole. And you think they're doing a Creole accent? What do they speak? What is the language? Creole. And you think they're doing a Creole accent? Yes, they are. Yes, they are. They are doing it. And that would be racist of them to do. Pardon? That would be racist if they were to be doing it.

It would be racist. So this is how we treat racist people. No. And what I'm saying, immigration in general, it should be, yo, if you just pull up to the border like on some refugee shit, yo, be ready to wait a couple of days, fam. You better have a hotel hooked up.

Well, I think that's what they do. They show up and they plan to get caught. And then as soon as they get caught, there ain't no cut. Well, that's the whole point is they show up and get caught on purpose. Nah, that's why the wall makes sense.

If it actually stops people, if it doesn't stop people, that's fine. But if you actually have a wall, right, what it will do is funnel people. Let's say there is an effective wall. I'm not saying what it will do is funnel people let's say there is an effective wall i'm not saying we can't do that but let's say there is an effective wall right an effective wall where people can't get in it will funnel people to the the booths or like the reception centers where they actually have to apply for

refugee status so they're not trying to get caught they're literally just going yo i'm here i'm a refugee police we look at your paperwork you go back stay on the fucking street or stay in a hotel or stay at some sort of like a shelter or whatever. While we look at this thing, ideally, you're telling the truth. You are a refugee. We bring you in. We give you the best life that you could possibly have here. Right. I think that that is a very fair way to go through it because there are people who are not refugees and they might be doing it because they want a better life, but that's not fair to the people that also want a better life from other parts of the world that can't just walk across the border. They're waiting years

in a visa application process. When they go to the shelters and shit like that, you're paying for that. No, the shelters outside of America. So you think Mexico just has a bunch of shelters that they're paying for please believe if they're just people wandering the streets and it bothers mexico enough they'll

either protect their borders so it doesn't happen there or they'll build some shelters so i'm saying like it's not inconvenient for them so why would they do anything because they know the second they get here they're like okay we're out of here so now we flying people all the fucking there's no cost for coming to america right there's no cost at all and i'm all for people coming to america i'm only here because my mom came to america like let's bring more people the idea that like the shit is packed is a lie like new people i'm telling you but we went to omaha dog like there's nothing there's room b there's so much there's room yeah and it's not like these people are being picky it's not like asians are coming in like i'm I'm telling you. But we went to Omaha, dog. There's nothing. There's room, B. There's so much room. There's room. Yeah.

And it's not like these people are being picky. It's not like Haitians are coming in like, I'm only living in Miami. Sorry. You know what I mean? Like, everywhere I go, I see Mexicans. You know what I mean? So it's not like they're just chilling in fucking San Diego so they can pop down to Tijuana whenever they want. They're like, where's the opportunity?

Where can I change my life? I want people to have the opportunity to change their fucking lives. But I also think there should be some sort of system to make sure that we do this and wouldn't you want to be able to document all the people that are coming in yeah not only for us but for them but apparently a lot of them don't want to be documented so they're like throwing away their papers throwing away all like their ids and shit because they don't want the government to know who they are well once the government knows who they are maybe they won't let them in exactly and and that's the unfortunate thing

because now they're fucking up for the people who would love the government to know who they are. The people have been here for fucking years and they're like, man, I just want to be a fucking citizen. I want to pay taxes. I want to continue raising my family. And it's just like, please, can I tell you? Can I tell you I want to have my life here?

I don't know. I love the idea of making immigration. I don't want open borders. I don't think there is a I don't want open borders. I don't think there is a country. If you have open borders, borders define the country, but I love the idea of a much more efficient process. And if that takes building some sort of fucking protective structure to funnel

people into one area, so we could just make sure that you get these people documented and you get them a safe place to go. Like, what about these fucking women across the border? They have no fucking place to go. And then they get scooped up by these, these,

uh, sex trafficking, sex trafficking things like the coyotes. They have no fucking place to go. And then they get scooped up by these, these, uh, sex trafficking, sex trafficking things like the coyotes. They have to pay them back so that they have to, they have to do these fucked up jobs and they're taking all the money to do the fucked up jobs. Yeah. It's like these people still get punished no matter what. So what kind of structure you want?

You want like a wall, like a American Ninja Warrior course or something? I would like a, I would like that. Yeah. I, I want something that they cannot, I want something they cannot get past.

So like Mexicans, let's say abs. Let's say abs? Yeah, they have to have abs. They have to have a six pack abs and then they can get into America. I mean, that would stop all immigration from Mexico. I've never seen Mexicans with a six pack abs. There's got to be some. Canelo's-pack hat. There's got to be some. Canelo's the only one, and he's got to be Irish.

I mean, he's the reddest Mexican I've ever seen in my entire life. Chicharito, he's probably got to get a six-pack. I don't think so. They don't do it. Why not? Four. Only four? Sops at four.

They didn't add the two? Why not? They're shorter. They're dovesight. They're dovesight. Is that Mexican? He's the Mexicans of Africa Moroccans are known as the Mexicans of Africa but isn't that a reasonable approach

to immigration maybe I don't really know enough about immigration I'm just saying we have to acknowledge the idea that the doors open yeah it seems great on the one hand I feel bad because these people are leaving they got nothing and living under a bridge for two weeks I'm just saying. But we have to acknowledge just the idea that the door is open. Yeah, it seems crazy. I mean, it seems a little ridiculous. On the one hand, it's like I feel bad because these people are leaving. They got nothing and living under a bridge for two weeks.

I'm like, I don't want to be living under a bridge. But at the same time, it's like, I don't know what you do. Yeah. I mean, also, if it's flying them home and it's like, how much does it take you to fly them home? Just put them on Spirit Airlines. And then what happens? They come right back. I just think your solution is like, it's too optimistic.

Because I don't think Mexico is building shelters for them to just hang out until. Can I say one thing? Home is horrible, right? They're being abused, right? Okay. They come to us for help. Another place to stay. We send them back home.

They're trying to leave. They want to spend a night in the fucking. Put us in jail. Exactly. Put us in the jail. Please. Anything. Anything. A They're trying to leave. They want to spend a night in the fucking... Put us in jail. Exactly. Put us in the jail. Please. Anything. Anything. A murder's gonna happen. We should put them in jail? We have to put them in America jail.

Okay? Put them in America jail. America is a jail of sorts. Build a wall. Build four walls. Who knows? Build four walls. Some bars. Cage. Put them in... Has anybody tried cages? Has anybody tried cages? That's a brilliant idea. We fixed the southern border problem.

No. But just to wrap it up, because I was talking about your thing. In all seriousness, it does seem kind of ridiculous that there's just this open door and we all turn a blind eye because the people that are on the coast don't have to deal with this at all

and we go oh you're racist if you have any issue with it yeah even though we know absolutely nothing and we don't know how it's not negatively affecting those communities but like if you live in that community you see all these people coming in like it's tough i think like if you actually have some compassion emotionally you're like fuck i want to help these people yeah we're just gonna ignore this is happening and then you gotta listen to some fucking twat in New York or L.A. go. Oh, this isn't the American way to do it. Oh, is it not? Donate some money.

Let's build a shelter. Where's your fucking money? Yeah. Where's your money, Hollywood? You got a problem with the cages? Build some shit. Like, hello, let's do it. Put your money where your fucking mouth is.

Yeah. I mean, I do agree that people that have nothing to like it doesn't affect their lives at all probably have like the worst takes in general yeah i mean it's like the rich kids are like no people are illegal and say all right do something about it yeah what would you like to do are no people illegal help them all yeah you hire every single one or just go down there look what's going on what if they just make the citizenship process super easy or like the green card process like yo if you come through green card only only uh if it doesn't affect the other people that are trying to go through the legal process at all because i think that's kind of unfair because there are people i'm sure refugees

from all around the world that are like waiting for their opportunity to come here so they can do their dream job they can escape probably afghans afghans they're trying to get over afghans like there's so many people i'm sure they're trying to come in every country there's like a green card lottery and they're actually not leaving their countries until they have some access and they have a touch point already in the u.s if the thing is better for them to just leave their country fly to fucking mexico and then walk over where it's we're what's it called de disincentivizing or de-incentivizing the legal process in this way. Right.

Because if it takes two years that way, but if you just walk across the border, citizenship, why the fuck am I doing paperwork? You know, I hate paperwork. Or is it just prioritizing the people that are the most desperate? How do you define that? If you're willing to just fly to Mexico and then cross like this. Well, maybe you're a woman in Afghanistanghanistan you can't do that right you know what i'm saying like there's desperation everywhere and there's different types of desperation you know so there's no question

these people are desperate there's no question that they're uprooting their entire lives and their families i mean it's fucking tragic it's horrible you know but to act like we can't improve the system i think is incredibly naive and i i really think it's horrible you know but to act like we can't improve the system i think is incredibly naive and i i really think it's people just ignoring a problem because they don't want to deal with it yeah and they don't have to deal with it because they're not close to it at all yeah like it's an issue we should do something about it and we should stop fucking politicizing it like every fucking thing we do in america same thing with the masks and shit it's just like if the wall the wall could be a monumental waste of money and

it couldn't stop anything. And then it's stupid. But if the wall actually worked and that, and the wall outed us, allowed us to have like these centers where these people could go to and actually properly get vetted and maybe even places to stay while they were being vetted, et cetera, that are not fucking cages. And the wall provided that security because now you didn't need people detailing the border constantly. The border existed. Wouldn't you sleep a little bit better

if you knew these people that are leaving these incredibly tough situations at least come here and they have a fair chance and the ones that should be able to seek refuge can? Yeah, I think the solution is probably politically nuanced, but it just feels like either side, like his other, I think the solution is probably like politically nuanced but it just feels like either side, like his other,

either through the media, it's just like harping on like get illegals out of here, like get them, like we got to protect America, strong borders, like get these motherfuckers out of here

or it's like no one's illegal, like everyone should be welcome here, everyone should be allowed in, blah, blah, blah. Bro, I mean. It's also money. It's money.

They don't want to spend the money to build shelters, to staff shelters. They're about to spend $3.5 trillion to rebuild all the roads and the highways. It's also money. It's money. They don't want to spend the money to build shelters, to staff shelters. If they're about to spend $3.5 trillion to rebuild all the roads and highways, it's just building. It's like, you're going to hire some people. They're going to make it. Max is going to pay for it, bro. Like, come on.

Let's do that. That's the thing. But when he was saying that, and Mexico was like, fuck out of here. And then nothing happened. We don't want to pay for it. They don't want to pay for it. He negotiated like Andrew on that one. He's like, yo, I'm a good guy.

Just don't fuck me over. It's the same now. We don't want to pay for it, and Mexico doesn't want to do anything, and so that's why they're just going to be stalled there in fucking limbo. Yeah, and it's just a shame that governments are letting people struggle like that.

Yeah. Yeah. Like, the fix is throwing a bunch of money at it, and no one wants to do that. That's the only fix. You guys got to throw money in the right way. Otherwise, you're going to lose money. No, I fix is throwing a bunch of money at it, and no one wants to do that. That's the only fix. You've got to throw money in the right way. Otherwise, you lose money. No, I mean, like you said, build a bunch of shelters,

but that's also shelters. That's running water. That's food. Staff. That's staff. That's, like, that's a lot of money. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It is unfortunate.

It is unfortunate. Or you just, the solution now, it seems like, with the Biden administration, is, like, pay money to send them back home. Boom. And it's, like, we're pay money to send them back home. Boom. And it's like they're spending money either way. It's way cheaper. I don't know if it's cheaper because you need a house.

It's not like they're going right from there to the fucking airport. I mean, they're living under a bridge right now. Yeah. They go right from there to Del Rio. Like there's 10,000. If you look at the pictures, it's unreal. There's 10,000. It looks like fucking EDC, bro.

There's 10,000 Haitian people just all underneath this giant bridge, like sprawling like this whole section of Del Rio. It's crazy. That's why it's cheaper to fly them home. So they're going to fly home 10,000 people from Del Rio, Mexico? Yeah. Or they're bringing them into America and then flying them home? No, they're in Del Rio, Texas, I think.

Oh, they're in Texas? It's the most southern part of Texas, yeah. So they're already in? Yeah. Wow. And why aren't they going to Miami? You don't see the guys on horses fucking whipping them? I thought that they were doing that as they were trying to cross over.

I mean, yeah, I guess they were. Yeah. I mean, you have like 5,000 horseback and thousands of people in a caravan just like running up. Ay, ay, ay. And I think the thing is like they want to give themselves up. And so they're either like we'll either stay here or we'll go back to haiti either way it's better than being stuck in mexico or wherever we are fucking hell man yeah we got to have some sort of system i i the idea that like

we i think you can have strong borders and you can also protect america but i i also think you protect america by maybe i'm biased because I'm the son of an immigrant, but like, I think you protect America by continuing immigration. Immigration is how we built this country, you know, and like getting the people who are super hungry for the American experience and American dream is how we continue to have prosperity.

Right. Like, I don't know. I, I think it's, it's a huge advantage that people want to play here. It's like the, it's like the NBA, you know what I mean? Like you want to that people want to play here. It's like the NBA.

You know what I mean? You want to play? Everybody wants to play. Luka Doncic is like, I want out of my country so I can hoop in the best place in the whole fucking world. And I understand that these people are refugees and they're leaving incredibly difficult circumstances. But in my experience, those people are ready to grind the hardest. They're willing to work the hardest because it's like, I don't want to go back to that. those people are ready to grind the hardest.

They're willing to work the hardest because it's like, I don't want to go back to that. And then you're saying, when people who come from no opportunity see a little bit of opportunity, they're not complacent. They're like, hold on. The harder I work, the more money I make, the more opportunity I get, the more I get to provide. I don't know. I like that energy. I like that mentality, and I like

that fucking grind. Getting paid American dollars? Whee! I can live off half this and send half back to Haiti. But the problem is. But legally. But legally and have a proper system. But that's the thing. You can't do it legally when it's that many people trying to come at the same time and you don't have enough people to process their information.

Yeah. And so hard decisions have to be made. And that's where it fucking sucks. So you either you give yourself up, go through the legal way, and then you have to go through all this bureaucracy and you might get kicked out or you just fucking roll the dice. So, yo, I'm fucking I'm going to live illegally. I can try to get married, try to like finesse it try to work it out maybe someone grants me like a visa through work and i'm just gonna bet on myself and worst case scenario i get deported later fuck it i completely get why they do it

there's no question but i do think it's up to us to devise a much better system than one we have now and be great if politicians would remove themselves from it ultimately understand that they have to make the decisions and that's what democracy is but it'd be nice if the experts actually sat down crunched the numbers and found out how the fuck to properly handle this situation with the least amount of uh human casualty i don't mean that in terms of death but like yeah suffering and distress yeah i think there's gotta be a better way yeah i just don't know what it is yep okay uh shall we take a pee all right way I just don't know what it is okay shall we take a pee alright guys look I don't know what part of the episode

this is in but I do want to tell you guys about something some of you already know about this but you know my girl's been dragging me around to the nicest restaurants in the god damn world for the last two years she's really turned me into like one of these bougie food folks but she actually knows about food loves food it's not just expensive

stuff it's you know cheap stuff it's not just expensive stuff is you know cheap stuff it's just wherever the fuck that you want to go eat she's just the type of person to know what to go to what to eat etc and um so she started this uh instagram called blistered peppers and blistered peppers name instagram is basically any spot that we've gone to you might have seen it's got the name of it where it is and which dishes that you should get in it she's also going to do some home uh cook recipes as well and some other things she'll be adding in the future but we're trying to build this thing up and uh fellas basically you never have to plan a date again in your entire life simple as that and

ladies you never have to think about where you want to go she got that shit 100 covered she's going to continue to build it out but we would really appreciate your support man uh it would mean a lot to me you know this is family so obviously be respectful okay be respectful it's my wife but uh you know your support would mean the fucking world to us man and uh you know it's asshole army so i know y'all always come through but uh i just want to tell y'all about that some of you already know i've been posting on instagram but i want to officially say it on uh the podcast okay i've been using her for a year yeah weekly text where am i going what am i eating but she's got it like in every fucking city she's been to countries like this is something that she's really passionate about and it's cool to you know we

always share with you guys when we're on you know vacation or these types of things or like whenever we're on the road and we're going to a city that she knows you know she's telling us the spots but like it's just i i think it's something cool and i really think it's something that she could build out there's other ideas that could go along with it and i'm really excited to see what uh you know what she can do with it man so uh it would mean a lot to me if you supported her in this endeavor and um yeah thank you so much plister peppers is the instagram all right yeah cool what else we got all right we got hulk brazilian soccer player oh yes got his ex-wife's niece pregnant whoa and he's having a child and uh he's now he's now dating

his ex-wife's niece ex-wife's niece. Ex-wife's niece. Yeah. Now, on the surface, this looks crazy. Mark? There's more to it. So basically, Hulk is like, he's this brilliant Brazilian soccer player, like legendary dude. Good?

Yeah, he was sick, especially back in the day. He's now in like a, I think he's playing in like a lower level Brazilian league if he's even still playing. But he was a legend back in the day. And he was married to this woman. He's 34 now. His wife, or ex-wife, is 52. Oh, so she got him.

So they've been together a long time. And he says, the article is so funny. He has like some all-time legendary quotes. But he says in the article like, yeah, I only married her because we got pregnant. Like I lived mostly like a single life, you know. Like we had multiple kids after that because I wanted to have children. I love my family. But our relationship was not exactly, you know, full of love.

It was sort of, you know, more like diplomatic than that. And we were together 12 years and then we split in like 2017, 2018. And then he maintains that like one, he had like side girls the whole time. He said that he's like, yeah, I was just like, fuck whoever she knew. She didn't care. Like she was getting money like blah blah uh he has this quote where he's like ultimately i gotta pull it up specifically okay he says i had i had countless reasons i spent my entire marriage betraying iran his wife she lived a single life she just wanted to have the status of wife of the

hulk is this thing so he's like you just want to be my wife that's fine i'll bankroll everything and live my life so they split and then he gets with his wife's sister's daughter which wife's sister's daughter yeah so his wife's niece or his ex-wife's niece which seems crazy but she's 32 also he got a type like he respects the bloodline yeah you gotta check the pedigree you know i'm saying like you get a pit bull from a specific dealer yeah you gotta check the pedigree you know i'm saying like you get a pit bull from a specific dealer yeah you're gonna run it back if you like that pit i want a champion show dog let's go i got a golden doodle they said it was gonna be 15 pounds and 40 pounds yeah well i'm not going back yeah yeah i'm not going back yeah but that's what it

is a great dog i absolutely love the dog yeah but just like its name it's a little too much uh yeah you know what i mean you can't have? Sometimes you have too much wasabi. That's true. You know what I mean? It is, and it burns. Yeah. So with the Hulk, he recognized, listen, this girl got some good genes. I was plugging this girl up until she was in her mid-40s.

This is legit. So now I got the young thing. Who's not even that young compared to him. He's 34. She's 32. It's the same age. I mean, he's a soccer star. Yeah.

And he's dating a 32 year old yeah he's a maniac this is an absolute maniac yeah right like is this some kind of like german nazi sign experiment that's going on with these i mean there's something going on i mean it must be right so i'm just saying he dates a 52 year old and now he just drops it down to 32 i mean he seems like a world of difference for him well he likes older women i think say what he likes older women so he was with this girl 12 years he married her i mean if she's 52 now he married her when she was 40 and he was like 22 come on b he likes older women that's his type so he's like yeah i'm gonna go with 32 year old to him that's young 32 is probably young for him yeah he's not ready for all that energy and shit.

You're just thinking of your dog, bro. He's going to have to walk her all the time, even in the rain. God damn it. Dude, I'm telling you the Hulk, bro. The Hulk, maybe that's what the Hulk needs, though. Hulk smash. No, if he got the big thing, he needs a nice weathered slit. Because, listen, if he got the Hulk, if he got the big neck he needs a nice weathered slit Because

Listen if he got the Hulk If he got the soup heavy himself I mean he's a thick boy He needs a nice weathered slit This kid is thick He's a wide neck He's probably got a big dick Let's just be honest about what it is

He's probably big dicked Brazilians I think have big dicks Big Brazilian dick I actually don't think they have big dicks i think they have small dicks that's why they're so like boastful and arrogant what really yeah dude i mean if you actually had a big dick you wouldn't have like your name just be one name you know you're trying to overcompensate for small dick i don't know to me it's like yeah you know my name the hulk if you call yourself the hulk their first name is big their first name is big dick big dick namor big dick hulk like it's all you know dude no

that makes sense because i heard shack isn't yeah shack don't have it yeah he probably got a big dick for us have you heard that um sailor joke about uh trying to see shack's dick oh in the shower yeah so they were on like set they were doing a movie together you know a sailor plays like a basketball during the movie? He makes sure there's always a half court so that the guys can play when they're not filming. And Shaq was playing with them. And then they went to go shower so they could go do the film. And so Adam Sandler goes into the shower to look at his dick.

He's like, I have to go see Shaq's penis. So I have to see Shaq's penis. If I have the opportunity, I got to see Shaq's penis. And he goes into the shower to look at Shaq's penis. And Shaq's bodyguard stops him. And he's like, what are you doing? And he goes, I just want to see Shaq's penis. And he goes, I am Shaq's penis.

I got it. The bodyguard yeah but was that a bit or that was a real story it was a bit it was a real story he talked to Shaq's penis

he had a conversation with his actual penis yeah no no I know that but I mean I thought he I was wondering if he actually tried to go see his penis

because you do want to know what his dick looks like so that's the thing it's completely understandable it's extremely relatable Dove he calls himself Shaq Diesel. There's no way his dick is massive.

Is it? No. I think it's objectively massive, but proportionally not as big as you'd expect. Who's got a huge dick? But we have first... Who do we know for a fact has a huge... Ron Jeremy.

That's a big dick, man. Is it that big? Not that big. Jeremy doesn't have a big dick? I thought he's got a big dick. It's not like... It's like girthy. I don't know if I've ever seen him do porn.

I just know he does it. I've never seen him. Nah, he's worked. You've seen him. You've seen him. I've met him in real life. But I don't know if I've ever seen him do porn. He never just took a peek?

You didn't go to the shower while you were on set? I want to. I want to. I did want to. Okay, but back to what we're saying. Hulk. Yeah, I don't... Is there anything more to the story uh no other than the fact that they're having a child and it's with his niece and all the service looks crazy i think family reunions are going to be like family convenient convenient yeah he's like christmas is convenient yeah everybody already know he was out there

fucking you know what i mean he kept in the family out of respect that's what's up yeah i think it's an honorable thing to do. Low-key, I wonder if there's like a Brazilian, like, cultural thing happening here. Incest? Is that what you think they're about? You think they just fuck each other? Yeah. You think there's some Amazonian tribe?

Well, it's definitely not incest if it's not his niece. It's someone else's niece. Everyone's fucking someone's niece. You know what I mean? Well, he's fucking his niece. It's not incestual, but he is fucking his niece. It's his niece, too. Well, it's his ex-wife's niece. Well, now it's ex his niece. It's not incestual, but he is fucking his niece. It's his niece, too. Well, it's his ex-wife's niece.

Well, now it's ex-wife. But before it was ex-wife. His former niece. It was his former niece. He's fucking his former niece. Yeah. He's fucking his former niece, dude. Yeah, his used to be niece.

That's kind of lit. Is it lit? Yeah. For a Brazilian. What is that? For a Brazilian. Yeah. It's like, they just be fucking.

Dov, your people fuck the family a lot. What is that like to you? What are the rules there? Yeah. It's like, they just be fucking. Dov, your people fuck the family a lot. What is, what is that like to you? What are the rules there? Yeah. Please respect that I'm Sephardic. What? Oh,

is that an Ashkenazi thing to do? Cannot confirm or deny. But all I know is, we don't do that. We don't do that. I mean, it works out for Ashkenazis if they do. We never let that happen.

Aren't they the highest IQ people in the world? What? Ashkenazis. No. Yeah, they never let that happen. Aren't they the highest IQ people in the world? What? Ashkenazis. No. Yeah, they're the highest IQ. No, they just made the test. What's on the test? Like, how many nights are there of Hanukkah?

Like, no, it's just an objective test. No, it's not Jewish things on the test, but there's other things on the test that are specific to them. Like what? Do you have a hard time breathing through your nose? That's a question? Yeah. And then if you say yes? Then you get some points.

I don't know if that's true. It and then you say yes then you get some points i don't know that's true it is true bro for real i don't know i haven't taken it it's true man that's on the iq test there's a lot of fucking racism in that on the iq test yes is jewish supremacy say again is jewish supremacy bro if you make the test obviously you're gonna do the best in it right somebody's got to make the test yes or no it's not a robot making a test it's human beings making someone has to there's a reason why women don't, right? Somebody's got to make the test. Yes or no? It's not a robot making a test. It's human beings making a test. Someone has to. There's a reason why women don't do well on it. They don't make the test.

If they were making the test, it'd be other women's shit. Like what? I don't know. How was your day? There'd be something in it that's like super woman friendly and they do really well, but they don't. They got math and shit on the test. Reading comprehension.

Reading comprehension. Read this story. Tell me what happened. You're happened you're like i can't do it it's too much on sat it's nearly impossible al did you just bring up a picture with both of them in the same picture yeah i mean they look identical he just ran it back yeah he just ran all he did he ran that shit back this guy's a fucking genius i'll have seconds he was just hanging out at the family reunion looking at which niece was going to grow into his wife. Yeah. And he's like, it's that one. I got an eye on you. I think he's busy.

I think he's so busy. He's like, where am I going to meet a nice girl? And probably his sister is like, I know someone actually really convenient. Yes. And they allow cheating in this family. This is the perfect family. Yeah.

You got to love it. You got to absolutely love it. Okay. Okay. I mean, I feel good about this story. Yeah. I feel good that we even spoke about it. I great about this were you feeling worried about it before i was feeling well before because my girls only got brothers so uh if you want to run it back you

have to be like oh it's niece that's right oh that's right it's brother sister okay yeah i don't even want to think about that this guy's's a monster. How long is he married to the girl? His name's literally the Hulk. Yeah, he literally is. He's a monster, yeah. Wait a minute. So how long? So he knew the girl.

He was married for 12 years. Oh, no. He met her when she was 20. Yes. It's kosher. It's not even Woody Allen. If it's kosher, it actually might be bad. Dove?

Technically, this is soup, Kosh. Yeah. Well, I thought we just said Ashkenazi's banging siblings, which is not good. They didn't want to bang the siblings, but Hitler got rid of all the people. There's no people left. They built up a nice amount of fucking people. And then Hitler came in and he was like, you guys are going to fuck nieces. I don't know if that was part of that.

That's with a super, super tight knit, super religious community that there's some cousins that i was trying to bail you guys out but these are the fact that they fuck each other yeah he just admitted to it i thought we were joking as long as you put it to like a percent let that percent fucking do whatever they want keep the 99 i gotta sacrifice some. Does that percent perhaps maybe not want to get vaccinated in Israel and spiking the numbers? Maybe. Interesting. Also, just for a fact check,

it wasn't a Hebrew who created the IQ test. Oh, who was it? Some Sardinian and French dude. Sardinians, they're the worst. You know the greatest thing is when you want to fact check and you go to Wikipedia, if the person is Jewish, believe me, Wikipedia will say it. Right up front.

Right up front. Wikipedia is a Jewish moment. It's right under early life. Wikipedia is written by a Jewish moment. More to a quarter Jewish, they'll be in there. So no, we actually succeed in that test because, you know, Judaism. Ah. Okay, I think it has to do with having to study the Torah.

Yeah. Jews are encouraged to study the Torah from a young age. Like, you're reading ancient texts as, like, a child. I think it's going to help with, like, reading comprehension. Reading comprehension, memorization. They could barely memorize the fucking thing for the bar mitzvah, dude. You said rememberize? Did I say rememberize?

Yeah, let's go. They could barely memorize the thing from the bar mitzvah, dude. You said memorize? Did I say memorize? Yeah, let's go. They could barely memorize the thing from the bar mitzvah. Because you're supposed to read the Torah from scratch, but on your bar mitzvah, it's just like you play it on a cassette player. You really believe they're reading that shit? Yeah, my Jewish friends read that shit growing up. You don't read that shit. You don't read that shit.

No, you put it to a beat of a song, and you just remember it and pretend you're reading it. You just remember how it sounds, dog. It's like when fucking... Oh, you sing Sweet Caroline? Touching it, touching it. I was going to say like when Asians sing Jason Mraz, but like, yeah, sure, that too.

You know what I mean? There's no way people from other countries understand our lyrics. No, no, that's actually very funny. They're just saying the sounds. Yeah, yeah, yeah. When I was in France, all these kids were singing english rap songs and just just sounded like kind of the words karaoke too just making fun of us well they have the words there they shouldn't yeah but they're making fun they're making a little fun you don't think when they sing the beatles they know every

single lyric of that shit no they're making fun it's little jokes they're poking a little fun doing an english accent they're poking a little fun and you just let it happen don't you wow whoa this guy's a fucking sellout shill this guy's a shill anyway canela verse plant oh my god i sent out a video this is one of the this is so cool so uh canela alvarez uh the best boxer right now that is not named Jake Paul. Best boxer to ever live. The best boxer on the planet, Canelo Alvarez. I believe that he has won titles, 147 pounds, 154 pounds, 160 pounds, 168 pounds, and 175 pounds. He's good at punching people in the head.

He's fucking incredible. Yeah. And he's going up against an undefeated fighter named Caleb pounds. I believe that a bunch of people in the head. He's fucking incredible. Yeah. And he's going up against an undefeated fighter named Caleb plant. I believe Caleb is his first name, but plant what? No, I was just saying, that's how Mark's ass looks.

Not Mark. You got, you got him. Not even close. I got him. So they're going and they're having their face off, right? The fight's not until November. Yeah.

October. November 6th. Oh, it's November. Yeah. October. November 6th. Oh, it's November? Yeah. And then so the fight is happening for the super middleweight championship. That is 168 pounds. Or maybe he hasn't won 175, but 168. He's won.

So they're having this face off. They're jawing at each other. Canelo pushes Caleb Plant. Caleb Plant comes back and tries to slap Canelo. I just want you guys to watch this video and I want you to pay attention to Canelo's right hand

right before he swings back at Caleb Plant. Just watch his right hand. Watch his right hand. Watch his right hand watch his right hand did you see what he did he threw something he he's holding his glasses in his right hand right and when caleb plant throws a slap at him he dodges the slap go at the same time throws away his fucking glasses and then catches plant with a left uppercut and then right hand over the top oh that's far home play that full speed it is unbelievable watch this watch as he comes back watch us boom. Oh, that's fine. Now, Al, before you're covering Mark. No, I'm not.

Barely. But let's just get that screen down. So, a couple things happened right here. Caleb Plant is doing the right thing to really hype this fight. And I've never seen Canelo have this type of animosity. So, I'm actually interested. I'm going to buy the fight. They did one thing.

I'm going to buy the fight. Caleb Plant one thing. I'm going to buy the fight. Caleb Plant got cut under his eye. Didn't look like that big a cut, but it's going to stop him from doing certain training. Like he won't be able to spar, right? Because you want to make sure that thing heals up. And it could open up very easily in the fight. So kind of stupid thing. But this will definitely add, I mean, like

hundreds of thousands of pay-per-view buys for this fight. What they did was unbelievable. Should happen at every fucking fight. What I'm interested in is, Caleb Plant just found out how fucking fast Canelo is. If you notice something really specific about this, Canelo pulls back to avoid the slap, but doesn't leave punching range.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. So he pulls back. He's in church shoes. There's no way I could even throw a punch in those shoes. I'm slipping, sliding all over the place. Yeah, yeah, yeah. fucking smart to throw it yeah he throws it open and hits him with his uh and then goes over the top but the brilliant both were both over and think about how brilliant that is in the moment one you don't break your fingers or knuckles two you don't do too much damage to him where it's going to push back the fight that you've already been training for yeah it's not worth the risk right i mean to to have that wherewithal like this is the type of reflexes that you've been having to do this since you were uh six years old yeah there's there's a documentary you guys

can watch it if you want or not i'm not too sold on it right now but it's called schumacher and it's about michael schumacher on the f1 champion seven-time f1 world champion arguably the greatest f1 driver ever like some people say airna was, but it doesn't fucking matter. But it's a really interesting story about this guy Schumacher. Schumacher was driving these go-karts, which is usually how people get started driving since he was a kid because his dad owned a karting place, right, in Germany. And they would work on the karts and try the karts. And they were basically getting scrap material to put these things together.

He always had the worst tires, the worst things. And he said he loved beating the competition with worse shit because it means he had to out drive them. And this is what happened is he learned how to have such a connection with a car, right, from a super young age that he was able to excel in his own ability right he had less so he had to do more he had to get so he could achieve more this right here what you're watching those type of knee-jerk really reflexes like unbelievable timing like he doesn't know he's gonna swing on him he doesn't know if he's gonna push him when you're you're in a fight, you know that you're going to get hit with one or two hands. This, he doesn't know. He's actually welcoming into

punching range. He's also thinking, there's no way this guy's going to punch me because he's not going to risk the biggest payday he's ever had in his life. And then in a split second, to pull back, slap, slap. Counter so well. Unbelievable. Is that a chance that that was staged? I'm saying that there has to be slap slap counters so well yeah unbelievable

chance that that was staged I'm saying that there has to be you just followed me right now sorry about that just about to say that

no no I know some people are saying this some people are saying this that it's potentially staged if it is absolutely brilliant I'm glad that it's staged this is staged

it's it's staged the push was so hard and the fact that both men struck with open hands like he did a one two open hand yeah who does a one two open

hand wrestling yeah wrestling they do the stop I think what this is this is this is just me I thought about it potentially being staged I don't think it is because I think these guys know what's on the line and i think there's animosity but at the same time there's millions of dollars at stake and it is not worth millions of dollars to keep your hands close when you're gonna be able to punch

the shit out of that person in a second i think caleb was just trying to land a clean slap on canela like because he slapped he gets his fingers touch him and i think if he lands a clean slap he's like oh that's gonna make waves everybody's gonna talk about this and i think he had no clue that canela was gonna come back because he cut him so it's like he tried to slap him and i think what he basically learned in this fight is i'm not as quick as this motherfucker do Do you think you can actually learn something from this? Yeah, he learns he's fucked. He really thinks so? 100%.

I think he learned I'm going to have to bully this guy. I'm going to have to lean on him. There's no way I'm going to be able to outpoint him. Because if we're just going punch for punch, he's going to be able to slip my shit and counter. And there's nothing I can do. So in a way, is this a benefit for him? He's got this little trial under his belly. He's like, oh, he's got hands.

I got to box him in he's like got this little trial under his belly he's like oh he's got hands i gotta box him in he must know this already but i think it hurts him because his confidence okay it helps him in that his confidence has dipped now but now he can find a different way to beat him yeah because he could go into camp going well i'll just you know punch with him and i'll try to counter him and now he's like no i'm gonna have to find a different way to hurt him yeah because i'm not going to be able to just exchange so it probably helps him at the end of the day it probably helps him most because now he can have a strategy that is different than what he thought he might be able to do because remember every fight that he's gone into before this he's won he's never experienced

somebody who could beat him and i don't think he's ever even had an exchange like that in the ring where he's like oh fuck i just tried to slap someone when they were standing right in front of me and he got two slaps on me in a second he's not even standing there with his hands up his hands are at his hips yeah imagine in the ring knees bent boxing shoes hands up you don't have a chance kiddo yeah so yes confidence is gonna dip but maybe builds that confidence back up in camp by doing a different type of tech so i'm saying if the i if the guaranteed outcome was that he was gonna lose and just get absolutely pieced up at least now he has some preparation and then when it happens in the ring he's not surprised yeah he's like okay i

expected this i remember getting slapped two months ago yeah 100 so i hundred percent. So I'm almost like, eh, for him. Kind of good. I mean, if you're going to get a trial, this is the best time to do it. Kind of good. Yeah. But yeah, I think it's staged because don't they have usually this some law or rule like, oh, if you put your hands on this person, it's like a crime or some shit like that. Like boxers, their actual hands are weapons or something like that.

Yeah. But I think that like. It must have had to been agreed on yeah but i think that's one of those things where it's like um that you have to charge that person with the assault and he's not going to press charges because he wants to fight the guy and the other guy's not going to press charges against himself or you know what i mean yeah but uh i also think that you can say like he can say i was pushed i was worried for my safety yeah you know but we do we could were we able to hear what was said to make allegedly some mom shit uh but i

think it could be lost in translation he's like listen here motherfucker and then he just hears mother and fucker so he's like you saying that my mother is a fucker you know like and then just push because they were drawn a little bit but how much more exciting is fucker you know like and then just push because they were jawing a little bit but how much more exciting is boxing when you know they don't like each other yeah fuck all this respect shit oh i respect the craft yeah that's great you want to do a craft then do a fucking craft you know what i mean i want motherfuckers angry at each other yeah going in there reckless wanting to take you down like that is the stakes are so much higher. There's so much more to lose. You get knocked out by the person who slapped you?

Yeah. Shit. Now, some people are saying that it's, like, Showtime fucked up. Like, I think Dana White said that. I saw it on Twitter. He was saying that, like, Showtime should have done something.

He should have had security. He should have had someone between them. Like, whenever Dana does a weigh-in, he's always standing right between them. So, like, if some shit happens, he can at least step in the middle. Dana knows he ain't in security. If Jon Jones wants to fight DC, there is nothing Dana can do.

And Dana knows that. Now, Dana might be able to hold back the 145-pound guys. But if the 200-plus... But just him putting himself in there. These guys respect him. They don't want to swing on Dana. I mean, he's fucking brave for that shit. I'm not standing in between Francis and Donu

and Stipe Miocic if they're actually angry at each other. I want help. Put one of them Takate girls in there. I need separation. Give me a buffer. I'm not doing that on my own. I think Dana's doing what he's supposed to do, which is shit on any other promotion that's interesting.

This is a branding game here, baby. Yeah. Like, the brand is UFC. And if you're not UFC, your shit sucks. Yeah. Simple as that. So say why this is bad. Say why they're fucked up.

Also, who's promoting Jake Paul's fights? I don't know. Showtime. That's right. Talk about fighting Conor McGregor with the greatest first pitch in history this is i haven't seen it yet i didn't realize it was oh watch it was like that i mean i'm shocked he's standing after what he went through hold on hold on hold Son, that shit.

I mean, come on, dude. Which, first off, if you're going to throw a first pitch, practice. Practice. Right? Like, I think about this all the time. If I ever get to throw a first pitch, I'm in the gym for weeks. Like, I'm working on it. I'm fucking, you're just batting practice.

It's like getting that shit up. People are cocky. They think, oh, it's just throwing. I'm throwing that shit as hard as possible, and I'm taking the risk. It's either going to be way off, or it's going to be a strike going like 75, and they're going to be like, yo, he came way too far. You don't realize how far that shit is. You get to the top of an MLB mound, you're like, whoa, this is some distance here. No, if you've never thrown a baseball, you've got to practice before you do it.

He's not even from America. He's never even played baseball with his buddies. I would never in a million years be like oh yeah i could throw a cricket i could throw i could throw a cricket ball whatever that shit is no way yeah i don't know what the ball's called i guess it's assuming it's called the cricket i would never throw a cricket full speed and be like yeah i could throw this quick it then hit the wickets quick it yeah hit the wickets with the cricket i'm not i don't know is the fucking word nerd no i mix wicket with cricket which if you knew anything about cricket you know it's called a

cricket how many points is a wicket 10 6 you fucking retard well it depends if you hit both then it's more than six no it's not yeah it is it's always six always even if you hit both yes and what if you don't hit it six as well And what if you knock it down on accident with your butt? Six. And what if the game's canceled? Six. Rain delays six. That's why these games go forever.

Nobody wins. Everyone's just getting points. People die. Is that true? Yeah. Oh, what do you think about all those celebrities enjoying the Emmys without their masks on? I feel how Seth Rogen felt.

How did he feel? He said it was crazy what they were doing. Did you see what he did? He went on stage and he was like, which I actually thought he was misrepresented in the news. So the news made it seem like Seth Rogen criticizes COVID rules at the Emmys, which he kind of does. But if you watch his speech, it's actually he's like kind of saying it as a joke. Yeah. It seems more in jest.

And he's like, there's a lot of people here i was told he was gonna be outside i should not have come to this like this is crazy like i got sneezed on by this famous guy like it just seems like he's just kind of being silly yeah oh he loved being there yeah like i don't i don't see it as hanging out but all the conservative media was taking it as like oh seth rogan is uh shitting on covid rules and he's a cockuck and blah blah blah. I'm like alright. It just sounded like he was making jokes. No if anything he's actually calling them out for being like hypocritical.

What do you mean? Because he's trying to save face like wow this isn't right when everyone's criticizing mask wearing and no one here is wearing masks. So if anything it was like him kind of making fun of the celebs but yeah yeah i didn't interpret it as like some type of like cucky like covid nerd like thing i don't know i thought this

always represented when i read the headline but i didn't think it was that when you read the headline were you choking yourself with a belt while jerking off? No. Why would I do that? Why would I do that? For what reason would I do that? Well, I don't know. I just figured maybe you were doing that. I just figured you were like, oh, Hollywood celebs, they stink.

Al, do you know what that word is called? What word? Auto-erotic asphyxiation. Yeah, can you say it now? I can't even repeat that. He loved wearing that tux. Auto-erotic asphyxiation I can't hear him he loved wearing that tux autoerotic asphyxiation asphyxiation

asphyxiation say it you were a nurse autoerotic asphyxiation yeah you got that autoerotic asphyxiation autoerotic asphyxiation auto not or auto fuck you

Okay, can you tell that see if he can pronounce a word? Can you say nigga? No, I guess we both can't pronounce some words Then hmm. I mean I can We actually got a pay mark to not say offensive racist things dude you're like uh namar you're like yeah we have to pay you yearly to do what to not say racist offensive things just be constantly criticizing the brand and uh you know just saying racial slurs all the time that's dude we have to do this you know namar makes five million dollars a year just to not be racist is true. Yes, then the contract minimum can't criticize PSG Even stands for yeah, what does it stand for? All right, it's all story about getting cucked on the plane

Oh my god, I didn't get cooked fuck out of here. You got cucked. No, I do. No you got your shit split by a white Lady dude You got cucked. No, I didn't. No, you got your shit split by a white lady, dude. That shit was unbelievable. Oh, now you're calling a cat. Oh, yeah, you're calling a cat. You thought you were going to be a hero? I know. Hell yeah. You thought. Son, I can't even body that bitch, bro.

Say exactly what really happened. Okay, so I'm on a flight. Yeah. I take a sip of my coffee. Yeah. I take my mask down to take a sip of my coffee. I took a little while to put it back up this bitch had the nerves be like yo can you wear your mask properly yeah and i'm like i have my

mask on she's like it's not over your nose and i'm like i just took a sip of coffee she's like well how long does it take you to take a sip and i'm like you don't know how long it takes to take a sip so we back and back and forth and so then she goes to the stewardess uh who comes over to me and he's like hey what's the problem here i was like nah she's just mine she can't mind her business and shit like that and she's like all right well just wear your mask properly i thought it was the end of that is your mask on at this point yeah my mask is on at that point so then put your mask on real quick you put your mask on real quick when that white lady told you so now I'm being an asshole

so now when I go to take a sip I'm like and then put the mask on yeah it's just she's fuming she's getting so mad so she goes up to the lady again and I'm like

and then now the students comes over I'm like yo can you tell her to leave me alone and that's where Andrew comes in because he. No, before you started texting. Oh, yeah. This is my favorite part. So I'm texting.

I'm texting everybody, telling them exactly what's going on. But I have my screen fully bright so she can see everything that I'm saying. I'm like, yo, this dumb Karen bitch sitting next to me. Don't mind her fucking business. And then he goes in the text. She's reading these texts right now. Change the font and settings. Yeah, I don't mind her fucking business. And then he goes in the text. She's reading these texts right now. Change the font and settings. Yeah, I don't play that shit.

And then you said something about like her husband and kid are over there and just embarrassed about her. I was like, her son is sitting right next to her watching her get bodied. Right. And then she had to speak out. Yeah. And that's when she got pissed off again. So she goes to the students again. Third time.

Was the second or third? I don't know. But she just kept running it back so then uh the stewardess comes over to me and now we're just going back at it i'm like yo can you just tell this lady to leave me alone i'm here minding my business she won't leave me alone um andrew comes and he doesn't help at all what i say well i thought you come you walk over and from like a couple rows up, and he's like, yo, sir, can you wear your mask? And no one knows you're joking. So you just made the situation worse. Put your mask on. Why were you not wearing it?

Why would you not wear your fucking mask? It's a federal policy. You love your Delta status. I'm a mask mandate guy. Oh, yeah. Are you? And you should be vaxxed and masked up and everything. And I need to know your whole medical history yeah that's my favorite thing in medical history it's just the best but

anyway go on all right so then uh how did it end it gets to the point where the lady asks her to move her seat and she swaps with her husband so the husband's now sitting next to me he doesn't say a word to me man he just sat there watch his wife get bitch and i won how was your how was your coffee coffee was delicious it was good yeah almond milk just a tip by the way i mean you've used the word stewardess five times in this story don't sell that to the stewardess they're called flight attendants or as andrew calls them sky waitresses yeah Yeah, I think I cunts It's a pass a thing you're supposed to call them flight attendants

My bad, I'm just saying I was a thing. That's a thing stewardess is offensive. I call them stewardesses to their face Stewardess yeah Progressive PC shit every Every word becomes offensive. Yeah, Doug. You can't say retarded. I just want you to win your arguments with future parents. No, no, no. It's not about winning arguments here. I've had, by the way, and I come on this podcast and I complain about

flight attendants all the time. I've noticed that. The last two flights, the most pleasant flight attendants I've ever had in my entire life. Unbelievable. This guy's trying to save face now. I'm not trying to save face. What I'm trying to say is. Talk about how great they are now.

No, they're not great. But what I'm trying to say is, I'm being honest with you. This is just the Andrew Schultz thing where I shit on something and then it completely changes. Or my energy towards it changes. I have to purge it. I have to get it out of the system. So everything that I did, the more I shit on the flight attendants, the better our service is going to be on the flights.

I saved you from the flight getting turned around because of you. They almost turned the flight around. The waitress came up to me. She came. I don't even call them flight attendants. I call them waitress. How hard is her job?

Waitress, may I have another biscotti cookie, please? Biscotti? It's a biscotti. Biscoff. What? It's a Biscoff biscotti. They make biscottis. What do you think it is?

Biscoff is the brand. Biscotti is the type of pastry. Is that true? Yes. Are you kidding me? It's an Italian pastry. It's a little coffee pastry. You're good.

Duh. Anyway, I said, waitress, I need. I did say this. She came up to me. She was like, you have to tell your friend to stop messing around. They do not take this fucking or they take this mask thing seriously. I'm talking to the pilot right now. We might be turning around the flight.

Yep. And then I looked at the white bitch right next to me. I'm like, so we turning this bitch around or what? No, you didn't. Yeah, you was there when I said it. No, you didn't. Yeah. Yes, I did. I was like, yo, so are we turning this around? And she was like, and we turning this bitch around on what? No, you didn't. Yeah, you was there when I said it. No, you didn't. Yeah, yes, I did. I was like, yo, so are we turning this around?

And she was like, and then she got quiet. She said, I'm sorry, sir. Whatever you want. And then he said, yeah, that's what I thought. Did she say the N-word? No, but if it makes the story better, she dropped four of them. See? Four?

Yeah, four. Just all in a row? Yeah, just fucking what's that rapper? Where was the protest? Nigga, nigga, nigga. Where was the protest? Where was the protest? Oh, we should have done it on the plane. I should be asking you guys. I came in to support.

Oh, where were you, Mark? You didn't help. I was supporting in the back. Oh. Because there was a medical emergency. Oh. Yeah. And I was protesting that.

Oh. I thought by being in the back, you were allowing some people to be in the front for once. Oh, no, no. I would have preferred to be in the front uh yeah i would have much rather that but oh that is the other thing that was funny that happened in the flight literally a few minutes later the flight attendant gets on the uh loudspeaker and she goes uh are there any doctors or nurses is here we need special medical attention and for a little moment there i was like yo al done put this bitch in a headlock i thought it was really going which also would have been ironic because i was a nurse he would

have been like i actually i am i yeah you want me to release her i can release it yeah catch and release al watch and release respect so you should learn not to get bodied on planes anymore bro wow bro you see how i championed his story don't get body was looking at his watch the whole fucking time i champion your story and then you his story? Just don't get bodied, bro. Mark was looking at his watch the whole fucking time. I championed your story, and then you come after me, man. Just don't get bodied on planes, bro. Fuck, dude. I'm setting an example for all of us. I haven't been getting bodied lately.

You haven't. Which, the only thing, the side I'll take is, you spend that much more on a business first class flight than others. You should get three or four times equal consideration. Service. You get bodied. I get bodied. Wait, wait, wait four times equal consideration. You get body. I get body. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.

You get body. What's going on over here? I don't think you behave like a first class person. Yeah, they can tell you're not from, yeah. But I am. You're not a first class guy. Can I tell you the difference between me and them? Can I tell you the difference between me and them

and their little fucking attitudes? Their business pays for their ticket. They're not paying out of their own fucking pockets, those frauds. They're going to do their business. Yeah. So they feel like they don't belong there. They don't belong. They're not really coughing out the bread.

See what I'm saying? Microsoft or IBM or one of those fucking companies that they work for with their little documents. Don't the venues kind of give you a little traveling stipend in some situation like that? Actually, not anymore. Oh, okay. That was actually pretty good. So what about the people that run their own businesses?

What do they fly on? Say again? The people that run their own big businesses, what do they normally fly on? They don't own their own businesses, those people. The guy that owns Microsoft, I'm sure. He doesn't fly. He's afraid of heights.

Is that true? Yeah, he's afraid of heights that's true yeah he's afraid of heights so he just flies at a really low level yep he jumps he taxis mostly he'll get in the airplane but he'll taxi almost yeah dude nobody ever taxied to their destination one time yeah i mean that'd be smart that'd be lit yeah you have to do that do what taxi to your destination why i'm gonna keep doing that you look like Joey that's the joey neck right there shots of joey man we love you joey oh man we need to get joey to new york bro all right let's wrap this thing up all right we gotta go love you guys bye