Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh - Chicken, Cheddar, Cheese, Gwap

Episode Date: January 14, 2020

The week Andrew, Akkash, and Kaz discuss: Favorite movies to cry to, getting dicks thrown at you, eating pussy for the first time in a while, NFL playoffs, LSU vs Clemson hype videos, the future for Lamar Jackson, the positives of brown face, Oscar nominations, and much more. INDULGE!!!

What up everybody protect your chicken Make sure make sure that you protect your chicken Make sure you protect your mentals Make sure you protect your body You know what I'm saying How much do black people love chicken That they refer to money as chicken bro That's the only takeaway

That's nothing new We've been calling money chicken. It's the highest form of currency. I'm not saying I never said that it was new. What I said is I've never looked at chicken and then valued it just as much as money.

Well, we love chickens. How much do y'all like chicken? The term cheese for money makes sense to me because i've always liked cheese that's some white some white shit so when they're like we gotta get that cheddar i was like i'm a fan of cheddar i like a home a home brook cheddar it's an irish cheddar and uh it made perfect sense i go with a nice colby jack myself colby jack colby jack's a good cheddar.

Both white names put together? That might be the whitest cheese? Okay. Wow, that actually sounded poor as fuck to me. What is that? Colby Jack? Colby Jack? That shit sounded poor, yo. Bro, get your chicken up, dog.

What the fuck? You got no fucking chicken, dog. Colby Jack is cheap cheese? No, your chicken is fucking low, dog. Like I said, cracked. Yo, you don't even got chicken. You got eggs. That's how low your chicken is.

That shit ain't even grown yet. All right. So then we got guap. Yeah. I don't know what that is. Guap is short for? Guapities? Me and Cass both looked at each other.

I saw you. I'm doing the whole thing. To see if one of you knew. Guap? To save the other one. I have no idea. I think you should see if one of you knew Guap To save the other one No idea You should know what this is You're the only person here

That should know what guap is Guap What is that short for? Why would I be the only one To know what this means? I imagine it's Hispanic Guap Like guapo?

Guapo? Spanish people use their GWs And their GUs a lot Like you can use both Doesn't matter Point is Point is There are many different ways that you can refer to money. Obviously, we're talking about Marshawn Lynch.

Marshawn Lynch gave a very amiable, amiable? Is that how you pronounce the word? Amiable? Who knows? What is friendly? What are you trying to say? Amiable. Amicable? No. Amicable is like a like a divorce is amicable i think what is the word i'm pretty sure amiable

press conference and you know he hooded it up i guess purposely and he used it didn't hood it up that was just marshall talking no that's just how he talks, bro. Marshawn is so smart. He knows exactly what he was doing. He's trying to make it Instagram. I'm not saying you don't know him. I'm saying he's also smart enough to talk in whatever way he wants. He's specifically using coded language. Just like when we use coded language, that's what he's doing. But he knows it's going to go viral.

He knows it's his moment. I think that was his last press conference. I don't think he ever comes back to the game. And I think he goes, before I go out of here, how do I leave these young ballplayers with some wisdom? He's specifically talking to the young black ballplayers because of that coded language. What do you mean?

I think he was also using that coded language to relate to young black ballplayers and maybe just hood people in general. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. He's specifically, yeah, saying. We're adding you. I don't think the Bosa brothers are going, okay, get the chickens right. Gotta get my chicken right. Gotta get my mentos.

Because they voted for Trump. They voted for my chicken brother. Okay. With a hard R. Trump got Iran so shook they just shot a plane out the sky for no reason. By accident? Did y'all hear about this?

Yeah. I heard about it. That plane that went down. I thought that was our show. Did y'all hear about this? So I had to pretend I knew more than I did because everybody around me seemed to know. It was on the elevator news thing. Trump got Iran so shook, they just shot this Ukrainian plane out the sky.

Oh, okay. That was in peace. Passenger plane. I heard about this. Civilians. 65 Canadians,. Oh, okay. Passenger plane. Civilians. 65 Canadians, I think, died. There's probably some Americans that might have died on it.

Trudeau wasn't happy about it. Say what? Trudeau wasn't happy about it. Yeah, but his little bitch ass not doing anything. That's the difference, really. He went to see one of the families. Aw, that's adorable.

I mean. Aw, that is just a kid What do you think that was going to get met with? He went to go see one of the families. Did he paint his face like them too? In solidarity.

Did he show up wearing a fucking burka to let them know how he felt? Draw one eyebrow on. You know how excited woke brown people were when Trudeau did a brown face? Why? Because they were like, we finally got one to complain about.

Yeah, we did. Finally. Black people hogging all this victimhood. We want to get up in here and get some. If there's any black people hogging all this victimhood we wanna get up in here and get some if there's any proof of progress it's the fact that

people gave a fuck about that Trudeau shit I didn't at all who gave a fuck about it why should I

I don't give a fuck my man can be into a costume you're not used to it though let me tell you something white dudes if you wanna dress as Aladdin and you a white Aladdin get the fuck out of my face

you better come here with some fucking bronzer on. Why can't we do brown face? I don't know. Don't ask me. No, but think about it. There's no reason. I find it more respectful. Okay, go on.

It's disrespectful to be white Aladdin in my face. You didn't even give a fuck enough to try to look like Aladdin. That's disrespectful, yo. Keep going. Don't keep going. Put in the effort. Put on some makeup. Try to look like me. Relate disrespectful, y'all. Keep going. Don't keep going. Put in the effort. Put on some makeup. Try to look like me.

Relate to me for a second. Because there's no historical, what is it called, context for brownface. Yeah, blackface was because they didn't allow it. Because you guys weren't good actors. I have not said a word.

Blackface was because you guys sucked at acting and we're like, listen, we gotta do something. Oh, God. Listen, we gotta hire someone who can act here. We got to, listen, we got to hire someone who can act here. Funny enough,

the Oscar nominations came out today. Did y'all hear what happened with Shakespeare? What? Shakespeare, they didn't hire a female, they didn't have to hire

a female actress, it was dudes. Juliet and Romeo was dudes. Bunch of trannies out there in Shakespearean times. I wasn't interested in the play until I heard that.

Say what? That's when I got interested. That's when Shakespearean times. I wasn't interested in the play until I heard that. Say what? That's when I got interested. That's when it was hot. I'll ask you to bring that dick down here, Juliet. You know what I'm saying? You would have lost the director's cut on the first Romeo and Juliet. Romeo, Romeo, where the fuck is now? Dick.

Oh, Romeo. I want to monitor you. Real talk. Oh, he's late ass? Oh, my gosh. ass? Oh my gosh. Think about it, man. Think about it, bro. Wait a minute.

Was Othello black? Othello was a black guy. But was he played by a black guy? By Macau Pfeiffer. Motherfucker. You never seen O? I know black people age well, but I don't think Macau Pfeiffer was the first Othello. But you never seen O?

No, but you sound like back in the day, yo, in the fucking England's actual Shakespeare time. That's the only reason why I know of Othello no back in the day yo in the fucking England that's the only reason I know of Othello this is a good god damn this is a good

this is a good moment right here because we get to see who the English treated worse or who they thought less of

black people or women if a black guy played Shakespeare as Edwin would say of black people or women if a black guy played Shakespeare as Edwin would say Shaka

Shakespeare Shakespeare Shakespeare hey what's your favorite Shakespeare you like Romeo's and Juliet's

hey hey have the head bus boy doing Romeo monologue Romeo oh Romeo wherefore art thou Romeo Hey, have the head busboy doing Romeo monologue. Romeo, oh, Romeo. Wherefore art thou?

Romeo. Romeo. Romeo. Wherefore art thou, Romeo? Because I've been calling a lot, and I see you talking to men on the street, and I feel like you disrespected me in front of my friend. Why you giving people their numbers outside my restaurant? You know I have tables to wash the dishes.

We're about to lose a half hour to podcast. Okay. Julia, Julia, Julia. Julia. You stupid puta de mierda. Pendeja de mierda sucia. Sucia de mierda! Pendeja de mierda sucia! Sucia de mierda! Peppa, calla! Juliet!

I don't walk in the stairs. Why do I have to walk in a balcony? Why do I have to walk in a balcony? Why you not come outside? Why you not come outside? I don't care if you're 14. I don't care if this is a love story about 14-year-olds. You can tell the stress of being head busboy has clearly gotten to our head.

Do you know how many dishes you have to clean in a capular household? Do you know how much dinners, how much eating happening in Roman time? Do you know how much grapes people eat on their side and they they mess up the stamina grape i have to pick it up julia y'all have running water how do you how do you clean the plate y'all have running water yet no that's not true we in bain eating but before we had running water my job was much easier because i did not have to fill up the water for people constantly you said cheesier like cheesier like mac and cheese no much easier oh easier much easier my job was it was much easier oh my god God. Anyway. Oh gosh. That's my favorite Shakespeare.

That one and the one with the black guy. Othello. Oh yeah. The one with the black guy. What happened with Othello? What's the story? His big dick fucked too many girls with his big dick? Why are you asking twice?

Hey, hey. What is the problem in the city? Oh, the pussies hurt too much because the big dick fucking all of them to smithereen oh how are we going to round up this story arc How are we going to round up this story arc? How can we solve this problem? Maybe don't put your whole fucking dick inside the pussy and ruin it forever, but yes. You have a monologue for Othello? What?

Do you have a Romeo and Juliet monologue for Othello? Yes. Jeez. I do have it. Otello, Otello. Oh. Otello. Does the O in your name stand for the reaction when people see your big fucking dick for the first time?

Oh. Oh. Oh, Otello. Wow, what a big dick. Oh my God. Oh, hello. Wow, what a big dick. Oh my God. It looks like it's going to be two more weeks of winter. You're groundhog. Oh God.

Yo, I know no more Shakespeare. What? What is it? Julius Caesar? What is it? Julius Caesar? I don't really know that one. What's the one?

Friends, Romans, countrymen. Lend me your ears. Lend me your ears. We had to memorize that in high school. Friends, Romans, countrymen. Lend me your ears. Lend me your ears. I come to bury Caesar, not to praise him.

Keep going, son. Keep going, son. The evil that men do lives after them. The good is oft interred with the bones. So let it be with Caesar. And now I think I'm out. Son, I'm gone. God damn. That's 20 years ago

I memorized that. That shit turned me on a little bit. You like that shit? Malfunctions have to do a monologue before they kill you. Then you have to come with bars prepared. That's how shitty guns were. You had that kind of time. I'm gonna stop. I'm gonna go guns were. You had that kind of time. I'm sorry. Yo, fill my gun up real quick. Anyway, let me tell you about this.

Let me tell you about this motherfucking season, bro. Friends, countrymen, you brought the bullets? You brought the bullets? You didn't have the bullets. Let me hear yours for a second. I'll come at you. I need to kill some time. Let me hear yours, motherfucker.

While we stuff this musket. What the fuck we doing? Real talk. If you miss that first shot. Gosh. It's over. It's really over. They used to do the firing squads though.

So like if you miss, like they just line you up on the wall. Oh yeah. They used to have like one line of soldiers would fight one line of soldiers. They'd all load up their guns, fire. Yeah. And then if you died, the next guy would just step up in the line and then you would just go until... Until you're dead.

So how do you become the first part of the line? Like, how does that happen? Black. Okay, all the otellos go to the front. He's pretty self-explanatory. I mean, I want to laugh, but I'm like, yeah, no, no, that's pretty much it. Do you think... Niggas first, yeah, go ahead.

Do you think that they were... Were there black people in like Roman times and shit like that? Sure there was. I mean, whatever their black people were. The black people. I don't know. The minorities of their time. Black people. Hold on.

The minorities of their time. This is a good question. Yeah. Who were black people's black people? Black people? Black people's black people? What are you talking about? Other black people?

The poor people. The poor people. White, like white people poor people. White people had versions of white people that they oppressed. Like Trail of Trash. Like the Irish. The Scottish.

The Irish. Okay. So who did y'all do that to in Africa? The purple ones. The dark... Wait, the purple ones? No, the super dark ones were the ones that were...

The Japanese potato looking ass boys? What was the guy that used to play for Syracuse? Yo, I got dressed like one. Super duper black dude. Oh, you know his name. He was black. He was like purple. Was it fucking.

You remember a dude from Syracuse? He was like super fucking dark. He was the blackest man I've ever seen in my life. I bet if you. But we get so black. Black dude. Turns like blue, black, purple, black. Now like there's shades

of black where it's like blue or purple. Yeah, but I don't know if colorism existed back then. I think so. Wait. Colorism is a reflection of white people and black people meeting. Colorism doesn't exist

without the discrepancy. Without white oppression. There's no color. There's no color. Without white people setting the standard for what is beautiful or whatever. Yeah, but look in Russia. What about it? You got whites hating on other whites just because you're from a different region and we call you black.

Yeah, but those. Just because you're from a different region. So before, go all the way back to before black people interacted with white people and all the oppression happened. And then that thing happened. Everybody in the group looks the same because there's no trains and planes okay there's no boats when it's just black people interacting with black people they have no context where white people are there's oppression that's happening who are you oppressing how many of us explain this to you i know i can't wait but you see what i'm saying so who is who is doing the the oppressing in that situation

because we're gonna like just like in the schoolyard like when we were kids before we knew about race and all that kind of shit you would find something to bully someone on it'd be the fat kid might be the short kid it'd be his asthma you know what i mean so what did people do before we knew that there was some easy shit to divide us on probably poor people we're probably together probably poor people or dumb people but what dictated poor people if it's not capitalism i mean there was some sort of i mean it's not the capitalism in the way america looks at it so india was definitely like the haves and the have-nots in africa of course there's what happened to india india had the caste system and there wasn't

supposed to be any like stigma attached to whatever your caste was. This is just like a division of labor. This is the best way to do it. You guys do this. We'll do this. We'll do this. But eventually it became, and I don't know if that's because of white people or whatever. I don't know the context of it.

But it became untouchables was the bottom caste. And that happened. I don't know if that's white people coming in or what. I don't know the context of it. Wait a minute. The caste system existed before white people? Caste system. My understanding, and I don't know, I'm no expert on my own religion, which is sad, but my understanding is that's just something that was put in place.

The religion just had it in place because like, hey, look, everybody should have a job and that's it. It's just basically an assembly line. Like, this is what you focus on. This is what we'll focus on. This is what they'll focus on. Right. But there's no like, there's no honor attached to any of it.

There's no whatever. My cast, ironically, was the Warriors. Ironically, because I'm a fucking tiny person. But we just go fight. That's what you do. Would you be considered that humpback one from 300? The Quasimodo? Would you be Quasimodo just crawling around with your fucking asthma and your flu every day?

I'm going to be honest. They probably would have thought Quasimodo could at least do something in battle. What do you think you would have done in battle? Serve water. You would have been a chaiwala? Paniwala, yeah. Paniwala. Paniwala.

Paniwala Akash. How do you say, come here and make us not thirsty? Aja. This is come here. Okay, Aida. And then panido. That's just give me water. Aja. This is come here. Okay, Aida. And then panido. That's just give me water. Aida panido.

No, no, no. I didn't hit that? No. Say it again. Aja. Aja. Aja panido. Aja panido.

Aja panido. You both sound terrible. Yo, New Orleans. We coming down there, man. This weekend. Joy Theater. The 18th of January. I'm so excited, man. I, New Orleans. We coming down there, man. This weekend. Joy Theater. The 18th of January. I'm so excited, man.

I love that city. One of my favorite cities in the whole world. We're going to be down there. Matter of fact, you might see us on Friday because we're going to be shooting some stuff. We're dropping in. We're popping in Friday. I love y'all. Make sure you go to theandrewschultz.com.

Get those tickets. After that, we're out there in Atlanta. All the shows are sold out. We're at the Center Stage Theater. That's sold out. Then we did some pop-up shows in the Laugh Lounge. That's sold out. But if you want to come see us, you couldn't get tickets in Atlanta, drive a few hours over to Alabama. That's what we're going to do.

We're going to be doing the Stardome that Sunday. I'm very excited to go perform in Alabama. Never performed there before. Thank you. Come on out, man. Bring your whole family and your boyfriends and girlfriends. Those are probably the same people. And after that, we're going to be going to right after Alabama. Al, where are we going? Damn. Theandrewschultz.com. You can probably find all that information. I know Tempe. Tempe, Arizona. We'll be there January 31st through the 1st. We got that. And then we're going to LA for a couple days.

And then we're hitting Hawaii. Okay. Honolulu, Hawaii. The 8th of February. Love y'all. TheIndiaShows.com. More dates available on my website. Go get them tickets.

Peace. Anyway. Whatever. Doesn't matter. This is Flagrant 2. Welcome. Welcome. No easy buckets.

Now this is by assholes. Water cooler commentary for your sports needs, for your soul's needs. I ate some pussy last night. That's what's up, yo. Good for you, bro. You know what I'm saying? Good for you. Welcome.

What's up, yo? What's needed? What's better, that or dick? I prefer, I prefer, I think I prefer i prefer pussy no that's the gayer answer so i ate some pussy last night and um i really ate pussy last night yeah well here's the thing because i got drunk i had two old fashions okay right and i just like numb my face up real good i got numb my face up but But I also got some pasta. I went to this place called Carbone.

Love Carbone. Shout out to Danny from. Oh, shit. I got some pasta called Danny hooked it up from the Basement Yard podcast. San Diego Studios. So he took it up. Right. Shout out to San Diego Studios.

So he hooked it up. I go with my girl. We go to Carbone. I don't eat bread. I eat some focaccia. I eat some pasta. Right. While I'm already eating shit I don't eat. I was like, I might as well eat some pussy this night.

Right? So I go home and I eat pussy. Like, I went. Throwback Thursday. Son, throwback Thursday. You ever seen like a dog drink out of a garden hose? Yes. Do you know how they're just like.

Just tongue. They don't know how they're just like just tongue they don't know they don't know what they're scooping in but it's just the tongue is going crazy the bottom of my tongue hurts today you know that little connecting bit that connects to like you know that connects to your jaw that shit is stretched i think i might have ripped that part right off i was digging deep i was looking for yeast do you know what i mean real i was literally i was like shawshank redemption I was trying to get out the jail. That's what I was doing. My tongue was going for it.

Right? I was eating all the pussy outside, inside. A couple times, I just took the whole pussy in my mouth and went. Like that with it. That's what I look like. That's what I look like. If you watch it on the video, you can see it. I was going for it. Cut can see it I was going for it

right cut that edit I was going for it right I go up to kiss my girl right this girl she curve you

oh shit this girl she curve you what what are the what are the rules with that come on what's the rules with that

if you can't kiss me. Hold on. Where's my chain at? Hold on. I'll pull out. I'll take my chain off. Pull the penguin out, B. But for real, like, this girl, she did like this.

And I was like, yo, what's good? And she was like, well, you know, you got the stuff all over your face. I was like, you let me get it on my face. You can't let me get it on my face. Yeah, what the fuck? Do you know what I mean? And then me get it on my face. Yeah, what the fuck? Do you know what I mean? And then it not get on your face. She treats you like a hoe, son.

She treats me like a hoe, son. She treats me like a hoe. I love it. And I like making out. I like kissing during sex. I'm not afraid to admit it. She was like, no, not with that pussy mouth. Not with the pussy mouth.

And she said, she was like, well, that pussy mouth not with the pussy mouth and she said she was like well you don't kiss me after you know you after what a blow job or whatever like that after a blow job i do but not if i finish in her mouth that's horrifying i mean son you can't drink your own latte i mean after she washes up bro, you out here drinking your own lattes, dude? After she washes up? No way, dude. After she gets everything cleaned out and washes up? Hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on.

So what's the ice? Okay, so boom. What are the steps between? You're going to kiss her eventually again, right? Say again? After you spooge. After you spooge in the mouth. Yeah.

Right? Goes, cleans up. You don't kiss her ever again in your relationship. What are you talking about? Bro, my fault. No,'t kiss her ever again in your relationship. That's all. Yeah. What are you talking about? Bro, my fault. No, come back here. Oh, there you go.

All right. Cover your face. Sorry. Nah, you gotta... After she washes up. Sorry about that. Listen, Akash, okay? Because Kaz is just a fucking savage.

This guy clearly don't care. That's crazy. I said after she washes up, you're not gonna kiss her? Nah, you know Kazby's saying She'll like hold it in there for me Nah Cause you know what

Like right after I'm done She's like bird feed me Oh Shout out to Jus the Role No fucking Let's go like that Where did you get that boy? Oh my god

What happened to those boys? Okay Akash Correct me if I'm wrong. Blowjob, you kiss her. When? Before finish. If she just goes suck, suck, suck, then we make out, that's fine. Hey, game on. You know what I mean?

Game on. Ain't no shame in tasting your own dick. But there's a little, there's still. Ain't no shame in that game. There's still pre-nut in there though. Ain't no shame in tasting your own dick. But there's a little, there's still. Ain't no shame in that game. There's still pre-nut in there though. Ain't no shame in tasting that little kickboxing class. You know what I mean? Giving that little kiss after that dick suck.

You be like, ooh, that's Tiger Schulman. Ooh, that's some round twos. That's some hooks, some straight rights and a knee. Yo, sometimes you gotta work for your own flavor. Like after you're done. Yeah. And just look at your girl like, you real for that. When that shit happens,

I hear that Destiny's Child song, I'm a survivor. I'm not gonna give up. I'm not gonna stop it. Keep on surviving. Oh, God. Those aren't the words at all. That's not? I'm gonna stop. I'm gonna? No, not even a word. Where's the word go?

I'm going to work harder. I'm a survivor. I'm going to make it. I'm a survivor. Keep on surviving. That ain't what I just said. Oh, oh, oh, oh. That guy's got his voice back, right?

Right? He's doing it. Oh, oh, oh, no. That shit is collapse. Damn. He's back to being prepubescent I thought his voice was a little crazy for a minute Someone was saying when you Someone was saying in the YouTube comments

That when you were saying tryout Oh yeah You were saying twi-out Twi-out Say it again like Elmer Fudd but I guess your voice was

fucked up because you had the flu and shit or pneumonia maybe it came out as twi-out but apparently you were saying

it dead serious multiple times like it was like so yeah apparently they were at the twi-outs and did you listen to it

it's like there's a comic I can't say his name there's a comic, I can't say his name, there's a comic, I'm not gonna say his name, but this motherfucker got a speech impediment. It's mad subtle, son.

It's so subtle, but when that word, when the right letter hits, Give me an example. I can't, I can't, I can't. Why,

am I gonna know? Okay, okay. There's another comic that has a speech impediment, his name is Drew Lynch. Drew Lynch. That's not the one

I'm talking about he has an actual stutter but he goes on stage from a softball accident and he can't he can't finish the sentence and he's funny

and he's using it he's fucking funny he got and did it just happen to me no but he and he has money

he has a great presence on YouTube he got tons of YouTube videos shout out to Drew. That's not him. I'm talking about something else. I'm laughing because it's from softball. Yo, why are you not playing baseball?

Maybe it was baseball. I don't know. Maybe it was his dad hitting him up after. A ball hit him in the throat or some shit and like damaged his vocal cord permanently.

Crazy. Wow, my God. Crazy. Maybe it was baseball. I don't know. But he was a comic doing comedy. Then that happened. And then he had to relearn

comedy basically. Lean into your disability. There is him doing comedy prior. I don't know if it exists online but he was. You got the clue? You got the clue? Play it.

Basketball and sports playing is so easily a meritocracy. I have tryouts. Okay, go. Basketball and sports playing is so easily a meritocracy. Right. Like I have tryouts. I see. I know Akash well enough where I know what he's saying. I can see how somebody

that didn't know him that well. Okay, let me see it again. Done. That's fine. Coaching is like there's only 32 opportunities. There are no auditions. There are no tryouts.

You come. Nah, nah, nah. It wasn't that deep. It wasn't that hard. I have tryouts. I can hear how they're trying. I can hear how they're trying. That was kind of hard.

It was a very soft hard. Like I have tryouts. I can hear how they're trying. You sounded absolutely retarded when you said that shit right there. Anyway, so what are the rules? What are we saying the rules are going to be with this? I can hear out of the air in trial. You sounded absolutely retarded when you said that shit right there, son. Oh, fuck. Anyway, so what are the rules? What are we saying the rules are going to be with this? Does pussy juice equate to cum?

I always said no. Nah. I think no, yo. It doesn't count. Because women cum multiple times. Oh, that's it. And men have the one sploosh. But that doesn't matter.

Why? Because I don't care how many times you cum. If it's cum, it's cum. Right. I just don't consider it cum. I just consider it like lube or sweat. Yeah. So I think if I eat your pussy, you have to kiss me.

Matter of fact, sometimes I like putting my dick in before the kissing. So it's almost like when the Haagen-Dazs lollipop got a nice little coating of chocolate on it. I don't know what the fuck is happening. Do you ever have like a Haagen-Dazs ice cream bar, but it's got that chocolate coating? Oh, like those Magnum chocolates. Yes. Yes. But it's just like a pussy juice coating.

Do you know what I mean? So it's like my dick you dip it in that's it so you dip it in the pussy and then it has a nice little coating you want to break the coating

then it's nothing but juice Akash you seem like so professional I got you now it took me a second to understand what you're saying okay

doesn't matter so how long do you go before kissing her after you... It's honestly, it's been so long since she... Wait, she don't... To you? I mean, back in the day, man. Oh, hold on.

Once you move in, that moves out. I think maybe on my birthday or something i don't know the thing is if she i don't have i personally am not going back again i know i can't go back again right so it's like she should know that too she knows it she's very aware of it she whatever the fuck it was So you ain't even Got a sheepy Fucking Christmas present I don't need no Talkers from you

That's what I'm saying You and me Yeah yeah You got a Cartier Yeah You got back Things Remembered Yes

And no No I get blowjobs Not gobble gobbles Okay okay Yes Okay Gobble gobble Okay

Is when it goes down Yes Oh To the That's standard Yo I'm not even gonna lie I'm not gonna lie is when it goes down. Yes. Oh, to the... That's standard. A little sugar. Yo, I'm not even gonna lie. That is awesome.

I'm not gonna lie. Medicine, go down. Medicine, go down. Sugar. This might be crazy to say. When it's my, like, girl, girl... You don't want it swallowing. I kind of don't even want it in her mouth.

That's a lie. I'm being honest with you. In the moment i'm like yeah this is awesome and then afterwards i'm like now i'm gonna be looking at her sides of her lips to see that shit there like like it's just let me tell you andrew yeah you'll get there really y'all haven't been together long enough trust me you'll get there bro there's gonna be a time you're gonna look at her

like oh yeah that's for the rest of my life right there but you already did man what do you mean I'm telling you there's gonna be

cause you know like when you're just like not super serious yet and I'm sure you guys are serious but like when you're first like dating for a while

there's certain things where you just look at your girl like alright like you want it but you don't really want it enough to where you look at her a little differently afterwards.

And I always thought that was going to last forever, but it don't. I'm completely opposite. Okay, why? I do all the craziest shit in the beginning. So you get what? But you know you're going to be with this person for a long time. You put her through like a fucking American Ninja course. Like, can you survive this?

If you get to, at the end, then, hey, you a champion. Real talk. And you will be treated as such. You know what I mean? You got to do the lily pad shit. There's a real, no, that's a good ass point. Hop on the fucking. But then after that, we could just sleep.

Yeah, you got a thing where you really need to put them through it and make sure they're worthy. And then you see the real soft Andrew. Andrew's soft. I'm a softie. I want to order dessert and go to sleep. Wow. My girl didn't let me eat dessert. She knew, son.

I ordered a carrot cake and she goes... She knew what was about to happen. She goes, no, because I want the carrot. ordered a carrot cake and she goes she knew what was about to happen she said she goes no cause I want the carrot psych she didn't say that that was me

that was me but for real she wouldn't let me order dessert cause she knew she knew it's night night son you gotta figure

that out cause you you can go on a cheesecake fact that you can't even have the cheesecake damn you got grosser that's a good ass point son can go out to Cheesecake Factory and you can't even have the cheesecake. Damn. You got grosser the longer you're together.

That's a good ass point. Son, you got to get past it. You got to learn to do both. How do I learn to do both? Bro, I don't know. Bro, figure it out. Eat less main course to get a box

of everything to go. I don't know. You got to figure it out though. But I need my shrimp cocktails. Just have the cock. And then later on, you can have a tail. Just take a dessert to go, bro. You know what I've been doing?

Bro, this is so fun. My girl thinks I'm trying to expand my palate, but I've been eating all week. You know what I'm saying? I'm so tired. I mean, come on. I mean I mean come on because I know

if I have a big meal I'm gonna be so tired that I don't wanna fuck right I know so I've eaten all these oysters these natural

aphrodisiacs and shit like that during the meal right because I'm like look if I get up these natural

aphrodisiacs maybe it will counteract the dessert so if I eat three oysters in a half shell, then I can have the sorbetto. Why don't you just blue chew? What? Why don't you just blue chew?

I do it. I can't do it all the time. I can't do it all the time, though, because I can't let that be the expectation. It's too punishing. My girl got to work. No, but to counteract the dessert son if i blew chew she's gonna be late to work shut the up she is she walks to work you know what i'm saying uber son say what call her uber should i uber her to work? Yeah. If it's a walking distance, you can't send her on however much that's going to cost you.

Real talk, dude. When I go- You're not a principal? Lift her up after you lay it down, son. You got her on when you break. That's what I'm saying, right? Shout out to Blue Chew, by the way. Shout out to Blue Chew.

Yo, Blue Chew. BlueChew.com. Offer code is flagrant. Y'all already know what it is. If you guys are new to the podcast, Bluetoo is one of our longest sponsors. It got our dicks harder than any other podcast on the planet. Akash.

Yo. Akash. Work. Akash. It works. I need more, to be honest with you. Honestly. Son, I got my weekly or monthly or whatever it is.

I'm a subscriber. I'm a subscriber, son. I'm a Patreon. I'm a subscriber. I'm a subscriber. I'm a patreon real talk bluetooth.com i'm telling y'all the truth it's not a game chew them up chew them out if she dies she dies you know what it is, okay? Your best intentions are there. Flagrant is the offer code. You get that shit for free. All you got to do is pay $5 shipping. That's it, $5 shipping.

You get it for free. Get the best night of your life for your girlfriend, okay? Get the best night of your life for your wife. Or if you got a new girl and you know you're about to lay it down, this has been common practice. If it's a new girl, you really need to impress. You get that and you go for it, especially if you know you're going to bust early because then you run it right back.

You run it back. That's my only way I can run it back. You give the first stringers. You get the first stringers out. Yes. And then you sub them out, hit the blue tune, get in. Get in. Super sub.

Six men of the year. That's it. Knock it out. Boom. Done. Hockey. Bluechew.com, baby. One thing I think is very important to discuss, Akash.

What at? Kaz. Yes. Alex. The proper way to kick your baby mama out of your mansion, out of your LA mansion. It's true. Yo. What is the best way to do it?

of your mansion, out of your LA mansion. It's true. What is the best way to do it? Now, in my mind, when I imagine kicking my baby mama and my children out of my LA mansion, I never thought about using a bag of dicks to do it. It's a solid method. But it is potentially an option, right? It is potentially an option, right? If you want to get rid of your baby mama, maybe she has some PTSD from dicks because now she has these two kids that have really kind of ruined her ability to maybe go dig

more or whatever it is. So maybe that becomes this sort of like mosquito repellent, the dick. Obviously, Antonio Brown, I don't know if you guys know this, but he is fully CT'd. Oh, it's not even. Did you notice, Akash, the slurring of his speech?

No. If you listen to the video, it is noticeably slurred. So he's not getting a twi out anywhere no twi outs for this guy

what is going on with Antonio Brown this is some sad shit I'm not even gonna lie what do you think is going on it's CTE full blown

he's gone like mentally he's gone that's what I think is going on and when did and is this like is this fast acting like

I have so many questions. I'm going to throw them out now. You take care, and then you guys run with it. These are all theories I'm going to give back, but yeah, let's go. Okay. How much credit do we need to give to Tomlin for keeping AB, this crazy-ass personality, this level of unprofessionalism, this level of absolute debauchery in check for as long as he did. That's number one.

Tomlin's coach of the year after you see what this is. Oh, yeah. Not only did he take that team with no fuck with Mason Rudolph almost to the playoffs, he'd had to deal with this last year? Yeah.

And kept him from looking this crazy? For how many years? How many years was AB on the... I think he had a pretty nasty concussion a couple years ago and that's when I think it all started. It was the perfect thing. It was Vontae's perfect.

Oh, shit, in the playoffs, right? It was his time. He ain't been right. Yep. He ain't been right. But to be fair... Real quick, Tomlin... That was 2016 or 17.

I mean... 2016. And remember when Tomlin would give interviews, and he'd say, I resonate or I relate to wide receivers because I used to be a wide receiver or something like that, and they're deep, whatever this and that. Do you think that he's speaking about AB?

I had no clue that AB, AB and Julio Jones were the same person to me until last year. Dog, I didn't even know AB's host. Not in terms of like, not in terms of personality, because I know nothing about either of their personalities, but professionalism. I thought they just worked hard, went there good teammates no problem i felt like i started i didn't put the other cte at all but i felt like i started to see flashes of a little like divaism or whatever like a couple years ago like two years ago probably i was like oh i don't know i just saw like i just saw these little things where i was he's like fucking brushing his hair in commercials or whatever and i was like oh this is very small it's not a big deal

but I wonder if this is gonna lead to him wanting more and more spotlight or whatever and then last year I think it was like oh this guy needs to go I forget dude's name that's on first take and ESPN now the dude that does ESPN on first

take used to play on the Steelers he was the first person. Ryan Clark. Ryan Clark. That's his name. Ryan Clark got, you know, give him his credit months ago before he even signed to the Patriots. He was on the Raiders. He was the first person saying, like, I would see him in the locker room and he would say,

yo, you're going to create a monster. I think the exact quote was, you're going to create a monster if you pay this guy. He said that, like, in the workout room. And then they hadn't got along since. And that was, like, started the friction of all the stealers and shit so like you if you can find the clip it's somewhere out there he said this months ago anything yet but just look up the quote he said before he said if you pay this dude you're gonna create a monster okay and when it comes to diva wide receivers and we talk about it all the time yeah say what you want about randy

odell beckham to ourham they wasn't doing shit like this this guy this is this is a whole new level this is CTE this is not Diva this is CTE that's what I'm saying

when you're cussing out the cops who are already doing what you want them to do and you're calling them crackers and shit they're on Instagram live they're putting her

in a fucking squad car isn't that what you want with your kids can you break down that situation here's what I was confused you're watching the clip he's

he's cussing out the cops. The most heartbreaking shit ever. The kids. The fucking kids, man. This clip was funny to everybody, but I was like, yo, these fucking kids are getting put in the back of a squad car with their mom. And their dad is, he says, I love you as I'm climbing into a fucking cop car. You love me so much. Why are you letting me get in this fucking cop car?

Cussing out my mom like this. Cussing out cops. The whole thing is fucked to me. I mean, we'll make jokes about it because we are who we are and that's what we do. But emotionally, when I first saw it, I was like, oh, this is fucked for those kids. Yeah, they're going to follow. And that's not diva shit. That's like, I'm gone.

I'm mentally gone. People can defend him if they want to. Cool. You wouldn't want to be that kid. You wouldn't want to be his kid you wouldn't want to be his kid i will say this when i was a kid i thought cops were so cool and i feel like i feel like getting to go in a cop car it'd be like getting to go in a fire truck you know what i mean like like i don't think they'll be crippled by that situation.

I think they'll come to school the next day. They'll talk to all their friends about it. Like I think it will be a pretty sick, sick thing. Getting to go in a cop car

for fun. For fun, yeah. Would be amazing. But I think it's going to be fun. Would you take a joyride with them? No. For them.

But the entire world sees your dad fucking yelling at them. They're going to be. Mom is though, yo. But is the mom, what happened? Why was the mom? I don't know.

What happened with the mom? I think she was trying to steal the bentley she was trying to steal the family she was trying to she was trying to steal and that's quite possible but that's even more fucked like my mom is bringing me with her to steal the fucking bentley i don't understand but what does she think she was gonna do with the bentley i guess she just thinks like some of this shit is hers. That's what I was thinking. I'm assuming she thinks it's hers. I didn't Google what happened.

The cops didn't arrest them. They just escorted them off the premises. So like they weren't in cuffs or nothing like that. Get these guys out of my premises. He wasn't like, hey, if you could please kindly remove these. Oh yeah, clearly not. But the cops were probably just looking at like you saw the cops. It's rare.

So she what? Ubered there probably uber and uber's very reasonably priced in la that is true that's very true maybe it was they should lift share maybe it was um so they just got rid of her to make sure that she wouldn't stay? I'm so confused by this whole situation. I think legally she was trespassing so you got to get her out of there. Like I think legally it's like, yeah, you're trespassing on this guy's property. If he wants you gone, you're gone. Even if he's cussing me out like an asshole,

legally he's right. Yo, honestly, I don't know if you could talk to cops like that, yo. He's rich. I don't know, B. Al, what's that, yo. He's rich. I don't know, B. Al, what's the rules on that? You're a cop. You, they can't do anything.

I know they can't. Unless he's threatening them in a way, which he wasn't, you can really say whatever you want to a cop. Well, I guess it's freedom of speech. I guess we need freedom of speech. But it is, and I guess maybe people would say that about us. Like, oh oh you're using freedom of speech

to make these jokes that are fucked up people might not like that well cops might not like it if you say mess up things about them but there is something

about an authority figure that's doing his job and you abusing them while they're doing the job like you choose to listen to our podcast there's something you also always say

which is judge me off my intent our intent is always to make people laugh. Right. No matter what, we're trying to find the light in any situation. He's not trying to find the light.

He's being a dick, but he's doing it on his property. But they're there to help him. Yeah, but I'm just saying, like, say if he was on a public location, they probably could have got him with like a public indecency or some shit like that.

One of those little things that you can just bring in on your own you're just simply arguing the legality of it yeah i guess that's right yeah so it's like he's on his own property hey get out get the fuck off my property all you motherfuckers everybody off you can say that there's no warrant they don't have no right to be there huh yeah so then why was it a big deal when NWA was like, fuck the police if they recorded that shit on their own property? No, what do you mean? They made music and music videos and

then depicted violence to cops. They did? Yeah, you didn't see the music videos? Now you know why the cops hate y'all. There's mutual things that go back You know

No no I know But um Okay It's just a tricky situation man It's like Like he was just being a Straight up dick What an asshole

Yeah Go What's up So What happened was They had The cops on civil standby She wanted to go pick up

Her kids clothes So she called the cops Right She standby and she wanted to go pick up her kids clothes so she called the cops right she's been calling allegedly from him she's been calling the police to his house three days in a row

so this is a note but this one especially was just a civil standby because she just wanted to pick up his stuff her kids stuff so then

that's when he started lashing out and going mad crazy and shit like that. And yeah, that was really the big deal for it. Yeah, he was going crazy. Can I play the video for you guys?

So the cops weren't... They weren't there for like any particular situation. They were just for standby just because she was afraid that he was going to go home. So that's why he's cussing at them like, why are y'all here?

Okay. Yeah, hit play on that. Oh, he interpreted the cops as being there to protect her, not protect him. Yeah. Wow, man. Come on, putto. The fuck out of here. Fucking police can't have me.

You a fucking bitch as well. Did you hear his voice? You fucking pussies. Oh, yeah. Fucking bitch. Get the fuck out of here. He sounds like a boxer. Get the fuck out of my property, you pussies. Come on, man. You kids. Fuck out of here. I love you, papi. Fuckin' bitch ass b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b You sound like Eddie Murphy's dad.

Drunk. If you don't like it, get the fuck out. I know you, Seven. I stepped in the shit. That's it. Yeah, cut it. What is the line? I stepped in the shit it was yeah cut it what is the line he goes

I kicked their guts no no no the dog took a shit took a shit in the den the shit got so hard I thought it was furniture I was watching the fights last night

I said fuck it I put my drink on top of it Eddie it's motherfucking furniture now Eddie alright guys we need to take a break for a second because I said, fuck it, I put my drink on top of it, Eddie. It's motherfucking furniture now, Eddie. All right, guys, we need to take a break for a second because I've been going through something. As you guys know, I've kind of moved into my girl's place

and I haven't found the right situation where I can shave my balls. I would do it in my shower back home. Bobby, sorry that you had to maybe deal with that. But here's the thing. I have a lot of pubic hair and when I shave them in the shower, sometimes it clogs up the shower. It takes a little while for it to go down the drain. I don't know if I can just clog up my girl's fucking shower with my pubic hair. So it feels a little bit uncomfortable to do. I wanted to do it when I was in Tampa. Point is, I got to shave my balls. You guys already know if I'm shaving my balls,

I'm doing it with my manscaped. I mean, it's not even a question. That's how I've been doing it for a while now. That's why my girl probably loves how smooth them pebbles are. You know what I'm saying? Shaft extra shiny because that manscape don't play. It's 2020. All right. New year, new balls. You got to make sure you get them bushes out of here. Okay. Last bush that we had was in office. We're not doing bushes in our drawers. Okay. We're getting a nice and trimmed. I have a little fluff down there. I have a little fluff. You know, my girl can't be bald and me bald. That just looks weird. That looks like dolls humping. We're not going to do that, but I like to make sure I take my lawnmower 2.0, get that skin safe technology. Okay. The trimmer will not nick you. Okay. It's not going

to snag your nuts. Nothing.caping accidents all right you are set you are ready to go and you are ready to be smooth and loose i don't know if you should be loose but it seemed like the right thing to say smooth and loose and guess what you get 20 off free shipping with the code flagrant2 at manscaped.com. All right? Start the new year off right by using the best tools for the job. All right? Manscaped.com. Our code flagrant2. 20% off.

Make sure you get it. All right? Let's get back to the show. Yo, shouts to Eddie Murphy and Dola might get robbed. Oh, man. Wait, what? The whole fucking Oscars nominations

came out today. Oh. They didn't get a nom? Not a lot of black people got nominated. Should we make this like a holiday about where black people tweet about how racist the Oscars are? Like the day after the Oscar nominations should be like a black Twitter holiday

where black people tweet about how messed up the Oscars are. Can I just say this to anybody who really cares about the Oscars? You're a loser. Those are the exact words I was going to say. Continue. That was my first thought. The words when you said, can I tell you this?

The words that flashed in my head was, you're a loser. You're a loser. Why do you care about this fucking nerd ass award? Why do you fucking care? You loser. Oh my God. I am being snubbed by the Film Academy.

You fucking pussy. Can I tell you? Everybody's going on and on about how dare Dolomite not get nominated. It's so messed up that Dolomite didn't get nominated. This, that, the other. Wait for it. Do you know who wouldn't care if Dolomite got nominated? Dolomite.

Did you not watch the movie you fucking idiot the whole point of the movie the whole point of the movie was fuck the industry do it yourself the whole point of the movie was not hey how do I

get the validation and approval of liberal rich white people that's not the whole point of the whole point of the movie is I'm going to make things for my community whatever that community might be and then set be completely fulfilled and satisfied by their love and not the love of the quote-unquote oppressor yeah Can I read a quote from Jordan Carlos, our guy code homie, who's a pretty woke dude.

Super woke. Love Jordan Carlos. Shouts to Jordan. To those getting upset over a crusty system that isn't woke enough, maybe screw the Academy and make another award show and stop hoping for white approval so much.

And we do this every year, every Oscar season, influencers crank up the moral outrage machine and we all willingly confuse some celeb's personal achievement for a mass movement and then he said a defeated people

assume the value of their oppressors which is quite the bar it's funny because wait what was that last one a defeated people assume the values of their oppressors

break that down a people who have been defeated we are broken we are whatever and now we just take on the values of the people who oppress us because you don't have values yourself they whatever and now we just take on the values of the people who are princesses. Because you don't have values yourself.

They value them so we value them because we still value their approval. Right. But they broke us so we just, whatever they think is hot is hot. Create your own values.

Create your own values. If you have your own values, you won't even give a fuck about an Oscar and he had another thing in that tweet. Hey, you woke, right? You got time,

you awake, everybody else sleeping. Why don't you use all these woke hours and make some values? Fucking lazy. There's a, if you look at the thread, it keeps else sleeping. Why don't you use all these woke hours and make some values? Fucking lazy. There's a, if you look at the thread, it keeps on going. He goes something about like, why don't we care about.

That's all I was going to say. Yeah, go say it. So basically he was like, oh, you mean there already is an award show that celebrates ourselves and we don't go to it as much and we don't do as a, wow. And then like he kept going on his other thread and shit, which is. Oh, here he goes. Oh, wait. Marginalized groups do have our own award shows, but hmm, seems like we don't value

them as much and play into what appears to be a pretty futile and thankless game. Mm hmm. And it all goes back to, I think, a few months ago when people were calling for Tyler Perry when Tyler Perry went to the BET Awards and he said quote unquote before the studio was even open

he said while everybody was looking for a seat at the table I went and created my fucking own I made furniture and then we forget you know what the fuck

you want about Tyler Perry dog yeah he said what he said when motherfuckers are like oh I don't have I don't have writer's room I don't have to like

you know it's the beauty of building your own fucking studio you do whatever the fuck you want you don't see him bitching about no oscars you don't see him bitching about no fucking golden globes he ain't bitching about nothing i'm actually glad this got no press because the kid who played aladdin in the disney reboot was like i haven't gotten a single audition since aladdin came out all right motherfucker well you rich now so what are you you going to do with your money? Do something.

Make a movie on your own. Have some fucking passion. It doesn't make sense to me. Was Aladdin successful? Yeah, were you mad? Wasn't he half white? No, the girl was half Indian, half white, I think. He looked full to me. I don't know for sure. I also didn't think he was great

as an actor. I'm not the fucking thespian of all thespians, but I was not impressed by him. Hold on. Was Aladdin in India? No, it was in Arabia. It was in the Middle East. Yeah, it was Saudi Arabia, right? Yeah, yeah.

He was Middle Eastern. He wasn't Indian. Yeah. But the girl, I think the girl was half white. Say again? No, that's what I was getting at,

that they were just half Middle Eastern and half white. Ah, yes, that they weren't the full thing. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, nobody cares about these things, but it's just so funny.

This happens every year. It's like, why don't we look at what has worked, right? You lean into your own craft. You create music for your own people. Let's say hip hop, right? You continue to lean into it. It becomes the biggest musical force in the world. And then all of a sudden, the the world and then all of a sudden,

the Grammys, all of a sudden, all the oppressors, all of a sudden, the people that are marginalizing you come to you and support you.

But with movies, for whatever reason, they have a... Who sold the special? Nobody wanted his first one. Dolla Mike did it. Dolla White did it himself. Guess who came calling recently?

We can't say, but eventually we won't say. I'll be saying the industry. Sure. Absolutely. 100%. And maybe I didn't do it based on a racial thing, but I did it based on a style of comedy that was marginalized. And we built something ourselves and proved, did it have value?

If you don't got a seat at the table, build some fucking furniture build the furniture yeah facts i mean put like this there's uh there's there's when it comes like the bt awards and soul train awards and all this type of shit i understand why certain people want validation from the oscars and grams it's good to feel validated it's good for someone that hands you a shiny trophy and say hey you're the best at this and i know it'll put you in different rooms when somebody refers to you an oscar nominated grammy nominated i get all that shit my thing is the reason why you get put into different rooms because of that is because

motherfuckers like you raise the value up every time you get pissed off of that shit wale is one of my very good friends i talk to this dude damn near every single day yeah and he gets you know and j cole rapped about it on on uh what was the song um uh false prophets talking about just you know how certain people you know he has awesome yeah he had a whole verse about like dude like he doesn't feel appreciated but you don't understand like you you got fans, you got this whole thing. And he's understanding it more now. He understands it more now, but he also understands why like, yo, I can't get a Grammy because I lean into Soul Train Awards.

I lean into it. So go to the BET Awards. Go to Soul Train Awards. That's what Beyonce and Jay-Z do now. Like they'll show up to the Golden Globes late bring their own fucking champagne and leave early but they'll be on time for the BET Awards they'll be on time for the Soul Train Awards they'll be on time for the NAACP Awards

because that shit matters to the art the people that they're creating their art for so why in the fuck would you you don't see them bending over backwards for the Oscars no more Jay Z doesn't give a fuck about it he's rapped a million times how he does not give a fuck about a Grammy he has the most Grammys next to you know any fucking rapper you know who didn't you know jay-z i don't know what the hell the fuck i was gonna wear this but jay-z the industry didn't hand jay-z shit right

when he came out reasonable doubt there was no fucking massive record deal there was no hey this is the next guy this is the darling of the rap industry that motherfucker did it himself put that shit out independently and now we gotta see fellow records with dame and himself. Put that shit out independently at Rockefeller Records with Dame and Biggs. Put that shit alone. And then he got a fucking joint venture with Def Jam on the second or third album down. And he's been rocking like that

ever fucking since. You're not even a loser. You're lazy. That's what I said. It's easy. You are and you know. It's easy to be like, oh my God.

We talked about this on the Patreon. We talked about this on the Patreon. That sentence, I'm marginalized, is currency now. Yeah. But there's not much currency the exchange rate

is not what you think it is bro you might get one shot out of it and if you haven't worked your ass off you're probably not ready for this shot facts you spent a lot of time

complaining instead of working and then you get your shot and you miss and now what Moses somebody was talking about this I was talking I went to Atlantic City

with some friends comic friends for one of their birthdays happy birthday Mike Albanese happy birthday Mike Albanese you're the fucking homie and we're all just talking about some of these

how old is Mike? 36 36 went to Atlantic City bet on some sports whatever chilled had fun but these people started coming up

who got this opportunity because this thing happened or this struggle thing or this woke thing and I was like man we talk about these guys and 95% of them fizzle immediately yeah

5% of them are really fucking smart and they always know how to maneuver and those are the guys that bother me because i'm like ah fuck they're they're good at it they're succeeding at it but 95 have complained or said i'm this group that's marginalized give me an opportunity and then we don't give a fuck right we had a we had a great uh discussion about this on the patreon um i think it was adjacent to this, at least. Absolutely. I think we posted a clip of it, right? Yeah.

The clip is the SoundCloud clip that we posted? Yeah. So if you guys want to see that discussion, it was just about diversity and how diversity is a brilliant tool, but is also disingenuous in a lot of ways. And it was a really cool discussion, so it will come up as the last episode.

So the episode before this, there's a snippet that we always post from the patron. Go check it, check that out. But that's interesting. What'd you say about how it's a, it's currency, but the exchange rate isn't high.

It's like you could be a millionaire in Jamaican dollars. So be a millionaire here. You ain't a millionaire here. Right. So it's like you come here, you got to work. You got to work you gotta work yo yo i can get you here but once you're here you gotta work son at the end of the day that is what will separate a flash in the pan in a career is hours put in and that's probably in anything that's being a chef that's being an architect that's being any of these things like hours hours dedicated, hours put in,

and shit, get in how you fit in. But once you're there, the way that you stay in is by grinding your ass off. I want to ask y'all a question, right? Go. So with these awards and shit, it's usually decided, and not even just awards,

you can apply that to anything, whether it's comedy, music, whatever. There's always a select group of people that decide what's quote unquote important just because they're on a certain board. Right. But with the Internet and with social media, you have countless people saying how much a movie moved you or how much a movie meant something to you or a piece of art or album or a song or whatever. And when it doesn't get acknowledged by those select few what's like i don't understand how it hasn't clicked with certain people and i know it's clicked with you because you said fuck them i'm just gonna work with the people why hasn't it clicked with certain people when you don't need the approval because these old fucks yo you know why i really think i i really think that like some people are used to getting the approval of like blue checks.

And I think that they overvalue that approval. Yeah. I don't even know if they're used to it. I think that's what they seek. Or that maybe that's what they seek. Right. And it's easy. And it might be easy to certain people in certain communities.

For me, I've never been a blue check guy in terms of like the people that supported me. Like the people have always supported me and just now the checks are figuring it out right like just now I'm starting to see people

you know shout me out I still don't have a blue check on Instagram that's fucked up we gonna work on that I thought you had one never we gotta get you on shadow ban first

but like it is man I gotta share something but I don't know if I should share it should I share it I think we're on the same page right like blue checks that show love and then and then they pull back

should we yeah fuck it doesn't matter alright this was an interesting thing I don't know what this is so I gotta get to the bottom of it but I'm not really sure but the point I'm saying is I care about the people man cause I know there's way more people that don't have blue checks than do

so I ain't gonna overvalue the blue check when I got all these people that are coming out to shows. They come to multiple shows. They're like, it's just mad love. Go. Sorry, I want to get back to your story, but I think it is, seems like the path of least resistance. It's easiest.

What you did. Yeah. Hard as fuck. You were in a little better position that you had brilliant idiots and you had money and you had 100,000 YouTube subscribers already. Yep. And then Alex is more accessible.

And you also, I don't think people realize this, even then you worked harder than anybody I knew. So that, whatever. But, that's hard. Right.

That's fucking hard. Yeah, we gravitate towards the easiest way. Even the idea of it, even if doing it isn't as hard as schmoozing to you, the idea of filming every show flying a fucking guy out everywhere putting out your own special oh my god yeah that's a daunting

ass idea you know it's not daunting i go to an audition this guy likes me i get the role i'm on a tv show and comedians are lazy people the who you knows yeah the who knows all entertainment also personality people are lazy people people are lazy people like we we will do the the the path of least resistance to uh joy in life that's why we do drugs you know what i mean that's why we drink alcohol that's why we do all these things we know we could feel good if we worked out two hours a day but most people don't fucking do it right it is the path of least resistance. Now, therapy takes years. Getting drunk takes minutes.

Minutes. It's so efficient. It takes years to even work up the nerve to go to therapy. I could just drink this tequila and be like, all right, I'm fine. But, but what was the,

the overall thing with the, we were just saying, you were going to, you were, I know you were going to touch on something about the checks versus the non-checks. We were talking about blue checks that show love. So an interesting thing happened, right? I tweeted something about Ricky Gervais, about his speech.

I tweeted the video and I was like, yo, Ricky is a legend for this. And also shout out the exec at NBC that greenlit these jokes and literally risked their job. I remember he was pointing that out. Because Ricky got all the fuck you money to say fuck you. The exec at NBC, it ain't going to be the top guy that it comes down on. It's going to be the showrunner. It's a ballsy move. It is a ballsy move.

And the reason I reward that is I don't give a fuck about kissing the ass of no exec. We built this whole thing so we don't got to do that. What I want to do is reward that behavior in the industry because there are people that still need the industry. Not everybody is in the situation as us.

And the more retweets that tweet gets, the more possible it is that somebody in another position, adjacent position, is like, oh, yo,

that kind of thing gets rewarded. Boom. Huh. Exactly. If that got 50,000 retweets, every exec could be like, yo, people want to see this shit?

You got to reward the behavior that you love. It's like we spend so much time shitting on people but i gotta show love 100 when it works and it's not just the comedians but i show love to the comedian whatever um because i thought it was so dope that he went out there he gave this speech about not giving a fuck what people thought you know what i mean he just said it right to their face. He don't care what nobody thinks about anything. So Sunday, I get a tweet back from Ricky. I get, it's a, thank you, man. Big fan of your work, by the way.

Whoa. Love what you do, by the way. Something like that. You know, big fan. Love your work, by the way. Something like that. And I was like, yo, that's so dope. That's hot.

And I'll be honest, I was thinking about how I respond, the way something like that and i was like yo that's so dope and i was like and um and i'll be honest i was thinking about how i respond you know because it's like you know you don't want to be too thirsty you don't want to be too thirsty in those moments you know me like someone i respect but i'm not asking him to do nothing for me or anything like that but it's just one of those things i'm thinking right and i figure and i go you know what i'm gonna do i'm just gonna say exactly how i felt in a moment i sold out i was like man this made my day thank you so much I believe I compliment everybody's room a lot I believe you got compliments just give them that's that's so if you look gay or thirsty or whatever you are making that person feel better about yourself

what the fuck is wrong you made my day man and it was really cool to see you come off that moment where you didn't give a fuck and you were making the jokes you want to do and you were being flagrant as fuck and then for you to reach out and

and acknowledge what I've done which is push that same narrative and do that through comedy and try to push comedy back to where we know it should be

to the fact that that reached you and you're aware of it that was so dope and I go to respond and the tweet is deleted i'm like okay maybe he thought i was a different andrew he didn't really know my work that's totally fine then i go back he responds with just a hands emoji. That's odd. So now I'm like,

and I don't want to say nothing and I don't want y'all going after that. No, no, no. Let me give him some credit. Go. Because I think sometimes we forget other motherfuckers are still insecure. So maybe he was like,

they seeing you like, this guy's in his 50s. His best work is behind him as far as we know. The Office is fucking legendary, both of them. He had that other show about being an extra. This guy's in his 50s. His best work is behind him, as far as we know. The Office is fucking legendary, both of them. He had that other show about being an extra. This guy did his shit and he killed it. But maybe he feels like his best days are behind him.

He doesn't seem to be the stand-up he wants to be. I get that feeling from him. So he's looking at this young guy who's hot as fuck and maybe he was like, oh fuck, do I look too thirsty? Do I look whatever? And maybe he doesn't see himself as the way you see him. As this fucking legend who blah, blah, fuck, do I look too thirsty? Do I look whatever? And maybe he doesn't see himself as the way you see him, as this fucking legend who blah, blah, blah. Maybe he sees himself as like, man, I'm a guy in his 50s who did some shit

and it was cool and that was great, but what now? Like maybe, I don't know what exactly his insecurity is, but I think sometimes we forget other motherfuckers can be just as insecure as us. In the same way you're thinking, what's the best response? What's not too thirsty? What's this? What's that? He might have done the same thing.

There's also a distinct possibility that somebody else runs his account and he said well he truly felt at first read it back his social media guy was like i might be a little thirsty he's like all right send a prayer but i don't understand we also saw people like knocking him for praising you. Oh, so this is this is what got us. There were like some woke motherfuckers in his mentions. Right. Like, you know, be careful supporting him or some kind of shit like that. So our knee jerk reaction was like, yo.

Did you delete it? Did delete the the show of love because you were worried that showing me love would fuck up an opportunity for you or maybe he thought let me finish good and if that's the case what the fuck was i praising you for on the special? On the Golden Goals. Maybe he thought he'd seen a couple clips of yours and he was like, oh, this is funny. And then when people started saying he's hateful, he's like, ah, maybe he got some other shit I haven't seen that's like wild, wild.

So let's say that was the case, right? Let's say that was the case. You're no different than the people you're making fun of in Hollywood that won't have an opinion, that are worried about having an opinion because of the backlash of that opinion. Like at the end of the day. And again,

I don't know what the answer is. It could be completely. He thought I was a totally different person, took it back and then did the hand emoji. Cause he was like, Hey, I appreciate you, but I meant that for someone else that could literally be a knock.

Give a fuck. And he could be a fucking legend and he could be the man. It was just one of those moments. And I truly don't, and I truly don't care for me, whether it, whether he supports, it would be so cool.

Absolutely. But it doesn't mean any more. Right. It was one of those things where it was like, I really want to go in on how brave this guy was and how amazing it was that he didn't care what other people thought of him. And he was just going to stand for what he did. and if he backed away from that in that moment i gotta i can't big you up as much yeah it doesn't it doesn't you feel me does that make sense i hear what you're saying but i don't think you would go on nbc and and put your dick on the table that

heavy and then fall back off of off a tweet something a tweet there's only one way to solve this what's that Ricky's gotta come on the show yo hey

you gotta get him on the show Ricky Ricky Gervais let's get to the bottom of this deleted tweet Ricky I sound like a girlfriend we're fans of you

afterlife is dope your last special is dope Alex literally fucks girls to the office. That's a fact. Most people do. That's a fact. Aziz, meet you at a Seinfeld. The office is only on fucking hours.

No, I should have done it on Netflix all the time for one more year. Soak it up. That's a great time kill show. Ricky, I'm hoping you have no clue who I am and that you completely mistook me for another person I truly am hoping that because I want to believe so much you don't give a fuck what people think

because your voice is needed in comedy and it's needed especially in those circles that are the most woke because those people do respect you and look up to you because you got a body of work that they don't so they have to respect you and look up to you because you got a body of work that they don't. So they have to respect you and look up to you where they could just write other motherfuckers off.

So I would much rather think that than you deleted a tweet because you were worried about losing an opportunity. That's just, that's just what I'm saying. I had a real rant building that I didn't want to interrupt this very cool story for and I might have lost some momentum in my mind. But I want to send a fucking message

to anybody that looks like me and any other kid of an immigrant maybe you don't deserve anything I'm not, no this is a fucking real ass, I'm saying some real shit this is fucking from the heart this is to help you, this idea

you walk around with, that's an American idea, that you will deserve certain things, maybe not everything but certain things you don't deserve a single fucking thing right your parents our parents who came here literally with eight fucking dollars didn't get here because they thought anybody owed them dick they came over here because they worked because they were the best of the fucking best that's how they got here then they came here with six fucking bucks in a country where language they didn't understand in a culture they didn't understand and they built from fucking nothing

because they knew i don't deserve shit i get what i earn i eat what i kill how the fuck we lost that so quickly disgusts me and we need to cut that shit the fuck out you're not american you don't deserve shit go get it go be great like your fucking parents who are hopefully still walking around and looking at you every day that's all i needed to say it was building this whole time i mean that shit yeah fuck all the millions i'm just kidding that's how i feel when i didn't get tweeted back i lost all faith in those award shows when the movie Coco didn't win you saw that shit I saw it

wow I got a serious complaint big boos this is I gotta talk to Mark right now Mark when you book the flights

don't put Alex's seat behind mine cause I'm tired of sleeping I'm getting my little fucking three hours of sleep so i can be ready for the show and i get woken up by this sound i fucking told you yo and then i just get this i get this tap the the window you know the little hole between the window and the seat all of a sudden

this dry ass black hand comes around taps my shoulder I look back and it's just Alex streaming tears and him saying

yo Coco was the shit I'm fucking told that shit hits you like a gut punch at the end it comes out of nowhere it builds B

It builds Audible crying Audible crying The white lady next to me Offered me a tissue That's how bad That's how bad That's how bad

You're enjoying a nice Sing songy Disney movie Just enjoy that shit And then Bam Tears bro I thought the landing gear

Was coming out And literally Cause it said heck heck heck heck heck

heck we were mad high up in there oh my god I'm just thinking about it right now son that movie that movie does suck mama Coco

my man looks emotional breaking his mind though he tearing up he tearing up thinking about it one more thing I gotta say about Al and this is some real weird shit uh oh Al don't wipe his tears One more thing I got to say. One more thing I got to say about Al. And this is some real weird shit.

Al don't wipe his tears, yo. Yo, it feels good. Al cries like a woman in a movie. Like, when you look back at Al, you see the tears. Usually you go like this and you just see water. I was just going straight to the IG story. He didn't even want to just burn it on his face. He going straight to the IG story he didn't even want to just marinate on his face he went straight to the IG story and showed it

and showed it and showed it and showed it and showed it she was beautiful what was so beautiful about it bro nah just the story

that family story that old woman right yeah yeah and man you think it's cool and it's like kind of emotional whatever but the end boy

abuelita mama coco oh my god all life's about yo it's the memories and how you remember people fuck that nigga Ernesto

whatever his name was I think Ernesto who's that singer Ernesto de la Cruz this son of a bitch fuck that nigga fuck this motherfucker it's on site

if I ever see that nigga fuck that dude in his own site son of a bitch fuck that dude damn but he got all the Oscar noms

fuck Ernesto. Son, then on the way back. Yo, shout out to the assholes who give me recommendations. Oh, yeah. So we were saying this. I want to do something, by the way, assholes. One of y'all that is a fucking nerd telling us how to figure this shit out. We need a nerd, bro.

We need like a real resident nerd that can figure all this shit out. Maybe it can be done in the Patreon, in the what's it called? Discord? Discord. Discord. Because I don't know exactly how it works. But I want, I want to fill us

with information and like useful information. So it'd be cool if we had some sort of platform. I don't care if it's a blog or whatever, but it's user generated where we could put

dope movies, articles, documentaries, whatever the fuck that we're consuming. There's so much bullshit out there in the world. It'd be really cool if we had like almost our own version of Reddit, right? That appealed to our interests.

I feel like we're all on a similar wavelength with stuff. So, and then we break it up into the movie documentary book, this, that, the other podcast, a cool episode of a podcast. Cause I want to take in something new and interesting every single day i don't care if it's fucking one page article so al

crowdsourced more emotional movies and he watched some movie on the way home what was it instant family on hulu told me about it i heard that i heard that loki slaps pretty good he was crying again son it's got marky mark y'all y' it's got the crack. Marky Mark. Yeah. Mark Wahlberg. It's an old movie or a new movie? New-ish. It's fairly new. A couple years. And it went straight to Hulu?

Nah. It was a movie. It was in theaters? It was in theaters. I never heard of it until- People gave it some love, but it just got swallowed up. I think it might have come out in Oscar time. What's it about?

This couple that once had stopped because they can't make a kid because her pussy's broken. Because her pussy's broken? Yeah. But they adopt, instead of adopting one kid, they adopt the entire family. Oh. Yeah. And then that's the instant family.

And then they got to adjust, I guess. And they're minorities of some sort, I assume, because the parents are white. And the daughters are white. What color are minorities? You know, like, Ed and colored. Latinos. They're Latinos? Yeah. How many of them? There's like, Edan colored. Latinos. They're Latinos? Yeah.

How many of this? Probably a lot of them. Three. That'll be more than two, my guy. But Latins don't give up their kids usually. When did, why'd they? I don't want to give up the whole shit, but the mother was on drugs and shit.

Ah. Was that three brother-sister or was that like two kids and then the daughter had a kid of her own? Wow. Wow. Even Eddie got offended. That's a valid question.

Is she above 13? It's a valid question. That's what happens at the fucking quince. Okay, that's the quince. I mean, honestly, you could convince me that that's her kid. I mean, you know what? This is

was the white girl from Neighbors 2? Neighbors, I mean. Rose something. Rose Byrne. Yeah, that's Rose Byrne, right? Oh, is she good? Yeah, I did a movie premiere with her Back in the day You Pipe

No I didn't Pipe Was she not fat enough You didn't give her that Rodney Stunningly beautiful white woman That's so good Why don't you give her that Rodney bro Yo that's the fucking You like that I'll send you a photo of it. Why don't you give her that Rodney, bro? Yo, that's the fucking term.

Oh, she was Dora? Oh, there you go, Alex. You're in the clear. Yo, Alex, you a nasty nigga, bro. You liked her again? You liked another young girl, bro? Nah, nah, nah, nah, nah. You like these folks?

Bro, you really have to Google Dora's age, my G? That's Edan. This is Edan. She's barely a newbie. Nah, nah, nah, don't put this on me. You want to explore Dora. I'm not going to lie. Dora ain't have titties like that, bro. That's what I'm saying. on your computer, son. No, no, no. Don't put this on me. You want to explore Dora. I'm not going to lie. Dora ain't have titties like that.

That's enough. Yo, X out of this picture. Son. Go top left. What's crocking in that top left? Oh, wow. Yeah, yeah. Nah, bro.

Come on, son. You see? Nope, nope, nope, nope, nope. Go back to that one right there. You can't go to any old pictures. Go back to that one with Dora in the weeds. What she's exploring, her sexuality. Jesus, son. Son's exploring, her sexuality. Jesus Christ.

Yo, hold on. Hold on. Hold on. What is she exploring, Akon? That's it. That's it. That's it. You know how old she was when she took that picture?

The last girl I had to- Why would they give her a push-up bra for the picture? That's disgusting. Who directed this? Why are they in the forest? I think they- She's I think they that might have been like mature titties right there

I had to google Laura Harrier's age after Spiderman Homecoming said if you gotta google somebody's age she was the love interest

in Spiderman bro no I don't know I thought she was Laura Harrier she's probably old enough she's old enough though right

she's plenty old enough but she played a high schooler And I'm looking at her Through the whole movie Like Jesus Christ I don't know How the fuck old is she She could fucking

That's Clay Thompson's girl Rodney That's Clay Thompson's girl Are y'all not getting The references I'm getting it That shit is fucked up That's what I was waiting on

Kazik the Rodney King yo Yo that beat That looks like The background going like this. You guys can't see it. You got that beat, bro. Didn't they beat him with a pipe? Say what? Didn't they beat him with a pipe?

No. They took his own dick and they beat him with it, bro. You didn't know that? Who's the one that got the plunger? Abner Luwima. Amadou Diallo. No, that's Abner Luwima. What?

Abner Diallo got beat up. We did the same thing last time we said the wrong guy Amadou Diallo and Abner Luima are made out of the same Scrabble

you know what I'm saying made out of the same Scrabble if you got Scrabble you can make both of their names right Amadou Diallo Abner Luima

one of them died though that's fucked up the other got 40 mil for getting a plunger in his buttocks yo you taking a plunger In his buttocks Yo you taking a plunger In the buttocks for 40 For 40 dollars

40 mil For 40 dollars It's not a soft But like Can I do it No no no If you do it to yourself Yeah can I do it to myself

Woodside plunger to the butt For 40 Woodside plunger to the butt Yeah like by cops too By cops Cops gonna do it No that shit ain't gentle Neither

That's what I'm saying. You're gonna have some tears. No. It's gonna be some reconstructive. But you get 40 million to clean up your tears. Diallo died. Just so you know.

Diallo died and Abner Luima's paid. Yeah. He got a whole new butt. My man got a whole new canal. You gotta introduce yourself to women. You bring them back

to their balling ass apartment and they're like, what do you do? And he's like, I'm a security guy at the parking lot. And she's like, how'd you get this place? And then he's got to tell the story. Yo, that's so true. Ain't that the guy from

Hold on, what's that movie with the black guy who's with the white girlfriend and his white people want to steal him? Get out? Ain't that the get out? Come on, Drew. Yo, do you think that's what he was thinking when that plunger was in his head? He in a sunken place now. They sunk that thing in there, boy.

Don't he look like get out? What's his name? He do look like Get Out a little bit David Kulawaki David uh Daniel something Daniel

Daniel Kulawaki look up Daniel Kulawaki just put Daniel K how you spell Kulawaki Kaluuya Kaluuya how you spell Kulawaki Kaluuya

cause you just put syllables together that's the sick Kaluuya you polished that shit up hard Kulawaki Kulawaki yo

look at my man. And that's him. That looks like him after a plunger. Imagine Daniel Kulawaki took a plunger, though. Now go back. Now go back to my man. Pots and pans. Yo, what would you take in your butt for $40 million?

Dick. You know what's fucked up of y'all? Y'all would take dick before a plunger. Yes! Who said y'all? You already take one. What are you going to take? A dick or the fucking plunger?

I got the question. I'm going plunger. What are you going to take, y'all? Here it is. Here it is. You can't defend against a dick. You can't defend against a plunger. Here it is. Here it is, Al. The punch is not going to going plunger here it is here it is here it is here it is here it is

here it is here it is okay ready here we go you have to take a plunger in your ass you got that Chrissy D underbite

you gotta you gotta take a plunger right in your ass okay alright now now oh oh oh the underbite. You got to take a plunger right in your ass. All right. Okay? All right. Now. Now. Now.

Oh! Oh! Oh! Hold on, hold on, hold on. Hold on, hold on, hold on. Hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on. And stop Googling it. You have to do it

on your own screen without showing it and then you show it when it's ready otherwise it's distracting for us. Okay? Watch Jamie on Joe Rogan.

He's the go-to. Okay. Watch Jamie on Joe Rogan. He's the GOAT. Okay. You have to take a plunger in your ass. You can't use lube. You can only use tears. What movie do you watch? I mean, off rip is Coco.

Because then you get tears and snot. Everything was coming out. That's lube right there. You can watch Coco before the plunder gets to that Coco. So you would go Coco? I'd go Coco, yeah. Okay, Akash.

Absolutely, hands down. You need tears. I've never cried that hard. You need tears. Coco's a good candidate. Those are the only lube that you can use. Go. What movie do you watch?

Fuck, dude. Maybe you show me the scene in soul food where big mama died that might do it that got you remind me of my grandma so it got me the whole thing damn kaz um i would have went coco but another good tearjerker remember the titans i was thinking that that was the one I was gonna do that was yours left side strong side racial harmony

and death oh yo show Andrew a racial harmony movie he'll cry alright so Drew what about you Drew the most I've ever cried

Brokeback Mountain oh John Q another one boom John Q is good Drew? The most I've ever cried. Brokeback Mountain. Oh, John Q, another one. Boom. John Q is good. John Q is right up there. I got a really good cry in in Invictus. I actually was thinking that. I remember you telling me that. I got a big cry in Invictus. actually was thinking that

I remember you telling me that I got a big cry because you saw it with your pops I saw it with my pops a lot of things resonated it wasn't a cartoon it's the Matt Damon rugby movie

rugby movie oh I didn't see this oh this is good oh damn sorry sorry to advance on next flight here's the thing

you might not it might not resonate as much with you as me because it's like a white guy who like decides to not be racist or something like that. You know what I mean? Like when everybody else is racist around him.

And Andrew's looking forward to making that decision one day. I'm trying to get there. And it was also Morgan Freeman recognizing the greater good and like inspiring a whole bunch of people to get behind this thing. Morgan Freeman. I don't know if it's going to evoke the same things out of

you. Why did it invoke emotion in you? I didn't watch Invictus. I remember him telling me because I remember being like, who the fuck cries at Invictus? But him and his dad and then I remember his dad made him listen to the Martin Luther King speech every year. So that probably is why. Kaz, did you see this? No, I haven't.

Any movie with like... Oh, we got to do a watch party for Invictus. Y'all don't support. Kaz, did you see this? No, I haven't. But any movie with like just- Oh, we got to do a watch party. Y'all don't support African cinema, yo. Y'all don't support it. I'm the only one that supports black movies. Is this really African cinema? I only see white rugby players and Morgan Freeman. Morgan Freeman's the only black guy.

Oh, that's not enough? I didn't say he was black. That's true. It's African. I'm crying. It's South Africa. Oh, South Africa. Okay. Yeah. i'm trying to any movie with like kids and like sick kids like like john q is like go to like i'm i've seen that movie tons of times

i'm still booing what else is sick kid movie oh gosh um six feet apart it's another good one yeah nah bro you cried shut up bitched. Shut up. I did like his outfit. You bitched up, son. I did bitch up, but his outfit was stupid. He was like a bullshit Johnny Depp. You just thought you could do the role better. That's why you hated it. I could have done it better than him.

I remember you saying, how do you even get this role? It wasn't even that crazy. My girl got it count, yo. Does my girl count? I don't think I've seen that. I'm crying like that now at my girl. Maybe as a kid. When you were a kid? I didn't watch it because I heard it was sad.

I was like, I didn't see no bitch. You can't see one of his glasses? What? Oh, fuck. I was so white. First of all, everybody's seen fucking my girl. I haven't seen it. That's some white shit.

I haven't. I haven't seen it. You've never seen my girl? I haven't seen that movie, yo. You've seen my girl? No. None of you niggas seen my girl. I'm going to be N-words now.

No, just because you watch this soft-ass movie, bro. He got stung by a bunch of bees. He was allergic to bees. He was trying to see his girl and shit. He goes into the casket. She's like,

oh, he can't see without his glasses. Put the glasses on. Oh, come on, son. Yo, a movie that's for kids but not gay? Lion King is sad midway through the movie? Oh, yeah. What? When but not gay? Lion King is sad? Midway through the movie? Oh, yeah.

What? When Fawcett dies? That shit is sad. It's sad, but it don't make you cry. It don't make you cry, but then she gets you, though. The ratio of sad to zany hijinks is too high. Yeah, we only talk about tearjerkers. What's the movie that Andrew cried a bunch at?

What I cried at? Fault in Our Stars. Fault in Our Stars. Fault in Our Stars? That's the one. You just hit your cry face. Yo, you see? Sorry. That's it. Sorry.

Yo! Yo! Yo! Yo! Yo! Yo! Yo! Yo!

Yo! Yo! Yo! Yo! Yo! Yo! Yo! Yo!

Yo! Yo! Yo! Yo! Yo! Yo! Yo! Yo!

Yo! Yo! Yo! Yo! Yo! Yo! Yo! Yo!

Yo! Yo! Yo! Yo! Yo! Yo! Yo! Yo!

Yo! Yo! Yo! Yo! Yo! Yo! Yo! Yo!

Yo! Yo! Yo! Yo! Yo! Yo! Yo! Yo! Yo! Yo! Yo! Yo! Yo! Yo!!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!- Yo, get that one shot. I'm not going to lie. The mere mention of the word. That should trigger me. That should trigger me right there. That should really trigger me. You really made your cry.

That should really trigger me. That's funny. Oh, geez. I've never seen or heard that movie. No, that one. Have y'all seen it? I read the book. I made the mistake of watching that with a bitch. I don't want a ton of MTV movie awards.

I got a picture of me on my Instagram after watching that movie. I don't know where that thing is. You watch it alone? It's deep, boy. I went with an X to that shit. Son, that's a mistake, man. I watched that shit at home with a shorty. I had to go to the bathroom so many times.

Yo, but you don't think... He's like, yo, something's not sitting right. Son. Son. That fall in our stars shit. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's the one. Son Son that shit was real bro When

When When she said That she was worried about them The parents Like she was more worried about the parents Cause she had cancer But she was staying alive for the parents She's like Come come on, son.

Now you're giving away. I'm giving away a movie that came out five years ago. Yeah, but still, that's like one of the big reveals. Son, Thanos dies in Avengers. Yeah, but this one with a tearjerker. I cried in Avengers. I cried in Avengers. I watched that shit again.

You know why I didn't like that movie much? I realized. Because it didn't have Wreck-It Ralph. Wreck-It Ralph. There wasn't enough wreckage yo there's too much social justice like nonsense

in it like the scene where all the women are superheroes that put me off that put me off and the funny thing is I know girls

Thanos for that smoke when all the bitches started running towards him he was like alright hoes let's go we all got powers you shoot arrows.

What y'all gonna do, complain? You got to... You gonna do bandage up all the other superheroes? What y'all here to do? Yeah, that's the real way to take down Thanos. Just get him a girl. Yo, really? After two years, he's gonna be like, yo, let's get the fuck under.

He hated girls so much, he killed his own daughters. Both of them bitches. He pulled one apart, and then the other one he just threw down a fucking he's like it would've been a waste of parts really true

yo Thanos was one of the realest dads ever yo instead of leaving his daughter he made her leave that's next level Infinity War

I gotta move out Infinity War was more tears than any game though to me which one was Infinity War Infinity War was better it was the first one the first to me. Which one was Infinity War? Infinity War was better. It was the first one.

It was the first one. Oh, yeah. The first of the two. When Spider-Man. He was like, I don't want to go. I don't want to go. Someone made an interesting point, yo. I saw Van retweet this.

Shout out, Van. Shout out, Van. Yep. He said the Marvel comic universe, the people over at Marvel, He said the Marvel comic universe, the people over at Marvel, turns arguably the greatest Marvel character of all time into a Tony Stark homage character. Spider-Man was low-key to go. Oh, yeah. And now he's this childish bitch that is just trying to live up to the hype that was Tony Stark.

You know what's interesting, though? I thought about this. They have so many more movies this way. By picking such a young looking ass kid, like fucking Tobey Maguire or whatever, was probably like 28 when he was Spider-Man. How has he ever been in anything? I don't know. That kid is fucking autistic, dog.

That kid is purely autistic, dude. Do you look like you could have a conversation? Would you sit down with Tobey Maguire and talk about the game? He's part of the Pussy Posse. Of course. One million percent have a conversation with him. I don't think he was getting

all that pussy off of personality. So? Yeah, but the fact that he was interested in it, I'd be interested in hearing about that. The Pussy Posse, I would sit, I would watch any

Pussy Posse documentary. What's the Pussy Posse? I don't know. You've never heard of the Pussy Posse? No, no, no. Say what you're saying. The Pussy Posse was Leonardo DiCaprio, which makes total sense.

Tobey Maguire and fucking Kevin Connolly. How is this a competition? It's like me taking on y'all in basketball. And everybody taking bets on who's going to win. You got to understand, it was all Maddie Young.

They were all in really popular movies and TV shows. Don't justify this. Kevin Connolly was happily ever after whatever that fucking fake ass married to children is before. No fucking

what's his face is in a two the magician. What the fuck is this? David Blaine's was in it. He probably got pussy. Nah David Blaine David Blaine got some

me too's. Make his dick disappear and just end up in your pussy. Can't make that shit disappear but like they're like the real entourage I guess

but Leo's like the Vinny Chase no no no no no no I think what Akash is trying to say is this was not a posse this was Leonardo DiCaprio and then guys that were

getting his scraps yes yes right yes a lot of rebounders on that team yeah this was not a fucking posse Leonardo DiCaprio and then guys that were getting his scraps. Yes. Right? Yes. A lot of rebounders on that team. This was not a fucking posse at all. This is not the Avengers. It was like that year Kobe scored 81. Is Kevin Connolly still cleaning up?

Is Ricky Gervais making jokes about Kevin Connolly's girlfriends of the Golden Globes? That was a great joke. Oh, so good. Even Leo was like, yeah. Leo laughed. Leo's the greatest, dog. He said, if y'all weren't there, he said, this show, so good. Even Leo was like, yeah. Leo laughed. Leo's the greatest, dog. He said, if y'all weren't there, he said, this show is so long

that by the end of it, Leonardo Caprio's girlfriend will be illegal. No, no. He had too old. He's talking about Once Upon a Time in Hollywood was so old, Leonardo Caprio went to the premiere, and by the time it was over, his date was too old for him. Gotcha, gotcha, gotcha. And then he left. He also left.

Lady Gaga won some award and then walked by by his table and like did something to him or shot him a look or something. And then Leo just looked at his friend and started laughing so hard. It was just so funny. Like, you know, when a girl doesn't like you and you clearly don't give a fuck. Yeah. You don't give a fuck. That's what I'm saying.

Like, what can you say to Leonardo? Bro, I've seen Leonardo DiCaprio walk into one. What can you say to Leonardo DiCaprio That no other woman has said? No No Exactly This guy can fuck any girl He is the man that gives

The least fucks In my I've ever seen in my entire life I went to an after party Have I told you a story About how he fucked Margot Robbie While they were filming What's it called?

No The Wolf of Wall Street The Wolf of Wall Street Now this is Third hand information Okay But I don't give a fuck Go ahead fuck it what's it called? No, but you know. The Wolf of Wall Street? The Wolf of Wall Street. Now, this is third-hand information. Okay. But I don't give a fuck. Go ahead, fuck it.

I'll say it all out to say Leonardo DiCaprio walks in one hook with sweats and surrounded by mad models. Oh, you don't need to wear whatever. He doesn't give a fuck. It's, okay, so Leonardo DiCaprio is on the set. Remember his wife in the movie? Yes, the original bitch.

Okay. Apparently, it was so painful who was a very attractive woman she's like a really good actor and like a really beautiful woman she was the mom and how i met your mother she was like a really beautiful beautiful woman and apparently she said that it could not have been more obvious that he looked at her as another man. Like it was painfully clear that he had zero interest in fucking her whatsoever. Like dapping her up on set. She was a male to Leonardo DiCaprio. That's so great.

All of a sudden Margot robbie pops in because remember during the filming of a movie you only film your scenes with each other and they and they wrap them into a certain amount of time so he could have had one week with filming with margot robbie and that's it yeah right there's stuff in the house maybe some of that but really centralized shooting maybe two weeks or something like that so apparently they film for a week and he goes hey we're gonna go to vegas this weekend when we're off you should come by we'll all go out to vegas right and uh and he and you can bring a friend or something if you want and i guess margot robbie both of you so i guess margot robbie asked um the girl who uh was the homie of leo if of Leo if she wanted to go.

And then she was like, yeah, we're going to go to Vegas. I mean, did he ask you if you wanted to come? And then she was like, as a matter of fact, he didn't ask me if I wanted to go. Maybe there's a reason why he wanted you specifically to go. Took that out there. Allegedly took that down. I mean, goat shit. I mean, can you blame Margo?

Would you not want to have that notch on the belt? I would be upset with Margo if she didn't. If she didn't. How fucking dare you? Who are you? Bitch, you ain't Margo Robbie yet.

You Margo. He making you Margo Robbie. You the blonde bitch from Wolf of Wall Street. You're just a bad blonde bitch. That's it. You ain't even have a name. You're the bad blonde bitch.

I don't even know when we started calling you Margo Robbie. After that movie. After that movie. She got a name You were the bad blonde bitch I don't even know When we started calling you Margot Robbie After that movie After that movie She got a name Yeah Usually take a bitch

One or two movies To get a name What was her name During the movie The Duchess She was the Duchess For like eight months Until I found her

Actual fucking name Yeah That's all Leo called her Throughout the entire movie Let's look at fine ass girls How long do they take To get names Good question

They gotta sleep With some Some big dudes. Otherwise, you might as well just be a Wylan Outgirl. They don't even know your fucking name.

Oh, shit. Wylan! Wylan! Wylan! Wylan! Did anybody crack those down or what? DC still with one of them.

Got a baby one. Wow! Oh, okay, okay. Yeah, DC got a baby one of them. Oh, really? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Which one? I didn't even...

I'm scared. I was like, don't't even, I think Jackie. What about the other ones? What about the other ones? But yeah, they're on Instagram together and all. I don't, I mean,

I saw guys try, but I didn't see anything happen. But I also have never been so confident that women weren't attracted to me. So I didn't even bother

trying to talk to them when I was on Wild N' Out. It's like, let's not, let's just both not even pretend this is a thing. There was like a small portion of my life where I was like, I want a Wild N' Out. It's like, let's not, let's just both not even pretend this is a thing. There was like a small

portion of my life where I was like, I want a Wild N' Out girl. Oh, really? There was a small portion of my life where I was like, yo, I'm gonna

They're crazy hot. I mean, most of them every time, most of them They launched Instagram off of like Wild N' Out bitches, basically.

Most of them every time that you look at them you're like, oh my God. And I'm not even lying, as soon as they talk you're like, whoa.

Don't do that. Don't make that mistake again what were they saying just just you know the problem with being stop

this is the most you know I do I do hear oh my god keep your feelings to yourself my goodness jeez

at least it's not too long I only got quite that's a lot yo there was one who see what I'm saying

you gotta stop looking for pictures on the full screen I wanted to see we're playing like an improv game or whatever

and then one of them walked into a room and she was so bad literally 25 people stopped talking women included and everybody just stared at her watched her conversation with the producer and then when she left all we talked

about was her for about two three minutes how terrible she was just no no no no no no how bad she was so bad like we hadn't met her yet and she was actually sweet girl but she walked in and everybody was like what the fuck yeah what did she have nice tits everything was beautiful her name was fuck nice i don't remember her name i have a joke about uh seeing a wild and out girl on floyd mayweather's yacht before the show even filmed have you given this joke away yet no but that's just no no it's not the best this isn't the punchline that's just part of the joke but she's the girl i'm talking about before the show even filmed She's on Floyd Mayweather's yacht Like that's the level

Of how we're talking about Whoa Yeah What is Well you've only Been with your girl So we can't have This discussion

Yeah Okay Ooh Ooh Ooh A little Urfacoaker The Myrangio

Okay Alright What is The Myrangio I ran out doing nothing shooting random planes out this guy this is what happens that's a iran tank right there so you don't tank so all right guys we gotta take a break for a second i know a bunch of you guys probably um are have online businesses maybe you want to start an online business. Maybe you're just selling stuff on Amazon or eBay or Etsy

or these types of things. And shipping can be a pain in the ass. Okay. I know Eden uses this company right here, ShipStation. We've partnered with ShipStation. It is the best way to ship your goods, plain and simple. The best way to ship. It just simplifies the whole process.

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the way I've used ShipStation has been really reliable. So that's the thing. It's not just one part of the shipping process. It organizes and streamlines the entire thing. And Akash, is he in my shot by any chance? Yes, he is. Akash, thank you. So basically ShipStation, if you are doing this online stuff,

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Yes, sir. They smell like her pussy. Her pussy, yeah. That's crazy. Curious. That's how you sell a candle because you don't buy one so uh anyway point is if you want to get in on this you can get a 60 day free trial if you just go to shipstation.com and use the offer code flagrant you get 60 day free trial. If you just go to ShipStation.com and use the offer code flagrant, you get 60 day

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I'm telling you guys, it just makes your life easier if you want to do these things. You can go by hand and write out every fucking label on your boxes and everything, but you're going to get arthritis. You're going to have the shipments go out late. It's going to look unprofessional. Get your shit right at Ship Station. Okay. I got to talk to you about getting rid of them college loans you got. I know a lot getting rid of them college loans you got. I know a lot of you guys got student loans or somehow. There are better,

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There is this company that's fucking with us, Earnest. All right? I suggest you go to Earnest. Just go to Earnest. All right? I suggest you go to Earnest. Just go to Earnest.com. That's all you got to do. You check out Earnest.com.

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You have nothing to lose here. If you have money that you owe, go to earnest.com slash flagrant, type in your information, see if they can save you money. That's all you have to do. It's not going to even cost you. See if they can save you money by going there. This is a gift. Simple as that. Do you have to pay back money? Would you like to pay back less? Here's the opportunity. Maybe when you got those loans, the interest rates were crazy high, okay? But we're bombing Iran, baby.

Them interest rates coming down like they're buildings. Jesus Christ. All you got to do is go to earnest.com slash flagrant. Go see what they got for you. Maybe they can drop that thing down. Maybe you can save some money and do what you got to do. All right? If you qualify, Earnest offers customizable loans, terms, and no fees.

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support that you need. Make sure you get your money's worth of whatever you do, because you probably got some bullshit liberal arts, political science major that you're not using at all. You're probably working at the Gap, okay? That's what you went to college for, to work at the Gap. Good clothing store. Not worth $200,000 in education. Knock that shit down if you can. Now let's get back to the show.

Now, we have some sports that we should actually touch on. Because, okay, let's go. Let's touch on some sports. There's so much shit. Speaking of Van and shit, he retweets the LSU hype videos. Oh my goodness. Has anybody ever done a. Speaking of Van and shit, he retweets the LSU hype videos. Oh my goodness. Has anybody ever done

a better job of... The only person on social media that is better than the LSU hype video account is Donald Trump. That's the only person. Yeah, he's so fucking funny. Whoever's making those videos, man.

The LSU hype videos... I hope you're getting more than room and board. ...are un-fucking-real. Unreal. The Anthony Mackie one is the greatest hype video I've ever seen for board. Are un-fucking-real. Unreal. The Anthony Mackie one is the greatest hype video I've ever seen for anything. I've ever seen. For anything.

It's better than every fight that I've seen. It's better than every UFC event that I've seen. It's better than any movie I've seen hype. We just watched that Conor McGregor cowboy one. Don't play it. Don't play it. It was the first time I got hype off of Swag Surf. Like, ready to fight.

Yeah. Because of to fight. Yeah. Because of fucking swag. Yo. The most jolly Negro spiritual song that we have. The fucking swag surf. I was like, I will punch somebody in the throat for Ed O'Geron right now. If you haven't seen it, look it up. There's a lot of great ones.

The Anthony Mackie hype one is so fucking good. And they just drop him with the rock. Interesting thing about that. Yeah. Fucking good And they just drop him With the rock Interesting thing about that Yeah

The coach is not Like the centerpiece At all Of this hype video No And is that done on purpose And why I don't know

I know people who play for him Love him Coach Orgeron I I Fucking I need to find this tweet That I tweeted

I got you He goes He was saying this to the equipment manager of Clemson or something like that. He said, son, the day I can't whoop a man's ass is the day I don't get out of bed. What a fucking G, dog. If you haven't heard Ed Aldron speak before before it's very very daunting hearing him say that and he's like he has

it's like he chews fucking cinder blocks for breakfast like he's the most he's the most football sounding dude I've ever heard

he's one step away from he's one step away from speaking out of one of these the cigarettes did this to Mike god

he's like he's got like that Dick Butkus Mike Ditka type of thing where it's like you The cigarettes did this to my... God, he's got like that Dick Butkus, Mike Ditka type of thing where it's like, you were put on this earth to coach football. What time does that game start?

Nine o'clock, I believe. About an hour? Yeah. The only thing in him with him in that clip is one team, one heartbeat. And then he says something like

one winner, but whatever the fuck. And you barely ever see it though. Like, for me, the college coach is often the MVP or at least the – not the – Alabama. Saban is the biggest part of Alabama.

That's who you market around. Constance Dabble, Sweeney. Right? Constance Dabble. Because they're going to be there. And it makes sense. They're the person you pay the most and they're going to be there the whole time. And they make other people want to go there.

They make kids want to go there. 100%. But I think, I presume, that he said he didn't want to be the focal point of it. Because he has that decision at the end of the day. I imagine he's like, don't barely use me. Maybe you can use my voice a little bit. But this is about LSU. That's a recruiting tool.

Because when it comes to hype videos and you're using your coach for it, you're trying to market to the parents. You're trying to market to the people who's going to end up being the people that make that choice of where you go. But when you market the kids, you're talking directly to the kids. You're talking to people our age. You're talking to people that are competing with Instagram and Twitter and SportsCenter and House of Highlights and Bleacher Report. So you guys are making it seem hype to play. So you're like, what's the fly shit we can fucking do? Nobody wants to see it.

I mean, as much as we love Ed, nobody wants to see him do shit. Right. We want to see our swagged out Heisman Trophy winner. We want to see like- Anthony Mackie have the rock do another one. Have the rock doing voiceovers. I think Coach O does another one that I haven't seen. I think he narrates another one.

I haven't seen it. I got to see that. Yeah. Who do you think wins the game? I don't know a ton about college. I am a little bit wary of the team that's like so, so, so hyped. But I saw

the OU-LSU game, and OU they didn't probably belong in the playoffs. They're not that good. But LSU, the fucking quarterback, Joe Burrow, passed for seven touchdowns in the first half. The first half. I've never seen anything like that in my life. I think they punted once And that's it

And on top of that It's essentially a home game for them They're playing Yeah they're in New Orleans An hour away Yeah So it's like Me and Clemson's the defending champs

But Fuck People are saying This LSU offense Is one of the greatest offenses That they've ever seen Who are the wide receivers They seem to be getting no hype whatsoever

I forget one of their fucking One of their names is like Can you look up the wide receiver core For LSU please Thanks They got Who are the wide receivers? They seem to be getting no hype whatsoever. I forget one of their names. Can you look up the wide receiver core for LSU, please? Thanks. They got a couple good wide receivers. I also,

the few games I have watched, I watched two full LSU games. I saw them play against Alabama. I saw them play, I saw a lot of their game against UT and I saw this OU game.

Joe Burrow deserves all the hype he's getting. He's that good? He's good. I keep saying it as a joke, but it's also true. I just keep going, the kid's got moxie. If it's third and nine and he's scrambling, he will fucking

pick up 10 yards and he says openly, I refuse to slide. I will take on everyone. Let's fucking go. He's a gamer. He gets the respect of his teammates. In the fucking hype video, he giving the blackest handshake I've ever seen a white dude give in his life. And it doesn't look like

it's put on or like he's trying to relate. He's just fucking like down or whatever. I remember he was a transfer from another school and then I remember, I think like somebody

in ESPN's asked him like, did you think that you'd be here? He was like, yeah, no. I saw all this coming. Like I called this last year. You can go look at my interview last year. I'm like,

LSU's gonna be in the championship. I'm gonna be playing quarterback. I'm gonna win the Heisman. I'm gonna do all this shit. And he said this shit with a straight fucking face. I'm like, this motherfucker believes in himself. You guys think he's legit?

I think he's legit. He's the real deal. Brian, who watches a lot of football, I think knows his stuff. He thinks Tua, if he wasn't hurt, would have been a better quarterback for sure. I don't know, man. I put a lot of stuff in intangibles because I don't care about stats as much. And to me, he can make all the throws like they say. He can throw a great deep ball.

He's got a good arm. He's smart. He can scramble enough. He checks every box. He's a leader. Last year, one of the punters they were interviewing, a kicker or something, and they talked about like,

he said the coolest thing about staying the extra year and not coming out early was I got to see Joe Burrow become Super Joe Burrow or Super Joe. He said, when did that happen? And he said said last year's bowl game and what happened last year is he's not playing that great early on he throws a pick it gets returned maybe for a touchdown and as he's trying to run down the defender you know people will take a shot at the quarterback because you can get one off the guy takes a fucking cheap shot at Joe Burrow like blindside hit knocks him

fucking damn near unconscious like takes, takes his head off. And Joe Burrow was like, he just gets up and keeps playing. Like, he didn't show any pain. And he was like, I was dying, but I couldn't show that to anybody. I had to get up. I had to keep playing. And then he comes back and plays better. After that, they won the game.

From that interception on, he just turned it on and just took that team apart, whoever they were playing. And, like, that was the moment I think his teammates were like, oh, this guy's fucking. Is he draft eligible this year? Yeah, he's coming out. He's coming out. He's the number one pick. It's not even a question. Really? That good?

It's not even a question. And this Trevor Lawrence kid, overhyped because he looked. He's coming out next year. He's a freshman. He's another guy that looks good as fuck. Yeah, he's the one guy that I've known for a while. I've seen him since high school. They've been talking about him since high school.

Trevor Lawrence is the fucking dude. You know what I mean? Checks every fucking box, height, fucking arms. I think I would put Burrow over him as a pro because Burrow's more built. And Trevor Lawrence, he needs to put on some muscle. Skinny quarterbacks, to me, always, you're just going to get fucked up. Carson Wentz, I worry about Lamar Jackson. So let's take this into another quarterback discussion,

which everybody's been having this week. Obviously, Lamar. Lamar Jackson plays in his first playoff game. Second playoff game. Sorry, second playoff game. Maybe third. I think they won one. Didn't they win one last year and then lose one? No. No. I don't think he's... They lost last year. I don't think he's ever won

a playoff game. So he plays in his second playoff game. Didn't plays in his second playoff game. Didn't play well in his first one. Didn't play well in his first one. Second one happens. Did you guys watch the game? Yeah. I watched it, yeah.

I have a question, then I want to get back into how he played and just the conversations that are happening around it. just the conversations that are happening around it. But if you look at the quarterbacks that are in these final four teams, is having a decent pocket passing quarterback still what gets you to the Super Bowl? Steve Young said this about Lamar. And Steve Young is a guy I think knows what the fuck he's talking about. He's probably the most, I'd compare to Lamar Jackson talent-wise. Ah, yeah, yeah.

He's fast and he's big, but they play some of that stuff. Yeah, he's insanely athletic. He's young and athletic, but not like this. But he said, Lamar does want to work on being a better pocket passer. He knows that's a thing. But whoever your quarterback is, if you can't do most of your damage from the pocket, you will not get to that elite, elite level. And Lamar Jackson can do things we've never seen before,

but that is the next step he still has to take. And he said something like, if he does that, literally nothing can stop him. He will be the greatest player ever. So I guess what I'm curious about is like, what happened and why is it that we keep seeing the exact same thing every single year over and over, which is as we grind into the playoffs, outside of Tom Brady, obviously, you see a team with a traditional quarterback,

an amazing defense, and a really strong ground and pound run game that ends up being successful. It's two things. Outside of Kurt Warner and the Rams, the high-flying offense doesn't really win. It gets grounded. It gets fucking grounded. What happens? Well, for one, with the Ravens, I think Mark Ingram being hurt played into it a lot.

Oh, he was hurt? He came into the game hurt. They weren't sure if he was going to play. He played, didn't play that well. I don't think he got that many snaps. They also just, I've seen games like this where you're playing well. Obviously, I'm a Cowboys fan. I've seen many games like this.

You just keep shooting yourself in the foot. Yeah. The first drive, they're driving. They're in Titans territory. Lamar Jackson throws a pass. It's high. Bounces off the, whoever the intended receiver's hand was, gets picked off. Yeah.

Like, that was the night. You're driving again. You get sacked. Like that was the night. You're driving again, you get sacked, you fumble the ball. If you look at his numbers, he made up for 500 yards offense. He had a good game. They just couldn't finish.

Yeah, and I think he had three turnovers, two picks and a fumble, which is, that's bad. That's straight up bad. Inexcusable. And then, twice on fourth and one,

they go for it because that's what they've been doing all year and they couldn't get it either time on Lamar Jackson QB sneaks. So that's five drives you just got fucked on.

And Tennessee carries an interim. Lamar couldn't get him one yard on a QB sneak? Which you would think and maybe it's different without Ingram there

because you can just kind of tee up on Lamar because you know Ingram is a great short yardage back and now he's out. They got another guy who's decent

but like it ain't Ingram in short yardage. So maybe that hurt a lot. I also think it's his second playoff game, and this is what we do, and I say this about NBA players. You have a long career. You have a long time to write a legacy. Tom Brady, I think, spoiled this because he just came in winning championships, but he's got eight more chances in the playoffs easily.

He's younger than Joe Burrow, which is nuts to me. Yeah, that's crazy. Lamar Jackson's younger than Joe Burrow. He's going to his 30 as a pro. He's only 22 years old, Lamar Jackson, which is nuts. How is Joe Burrow older? Redshirt. I think he was a redshirt freshman, then he transferred.

That's right. So, like, he's still, you know what I mean, a little bit older. But, like, Lamar Jackson is ridiculous. Nobody's questioning whether he's – well, they shouldn't be questioning whether he's been successful and been really good. And he'll be the MVP this year. How amazing he is, and he deserves probably to be the MVP. They're going to because that's what the offseason gives you nothing to do

except have these shitty takes. Right. But I am curious, like we were saying earlier, you know, or weeks ago, about how useless wide receivers are. They really are useless, right? How useless most positions are in terms of actually winning a Super Bowl. And when it gets down to the nitty and gritty,

we see the same things when a Super Bowl. We see an impenetrable defense and a tough, gritty, bully ball run game. Not a cute, throw it outside, nice electric sweeps. I'm talking about Derrick Henry taking the 9-7 Tennessee Titans and just leaning on you. I don't know how he flew under the radar for some reason. I don't know.

I'll never understand this. I wanted the Cowboys to pick him in the second round. I said, get Jalen Ramsey in the first and Derrick Henry in the second. All the Cowboys dork draft guys I follow were all about that they just he was a second round pick and for some reason a lot of people slept they said he didn't because he had a lot of carries in college that they thought that his mileage was gonna be yeah what fucking which is like he's built like fucking like LeBron James I mean it's insane I They can all wear down. Cam Newton is wearing down.

Of course. Derrick Henry will at some point. But I think there's, and I've talked about this, I've wondered about this with basketball, to be a good offensive team, you still requires a lot of variables to go right. Yeah.

Like, and this is why lines are so important. If my line doesn't block for me and the defensive line can get to me, it can throw off the timing of the whole route. I got to throw it earlier than I want to or I get hit and now my eyes are going from up looking at the receivers to down at the linemen to make sure I'm not going to get fucking rocked again.

So offense just requires a lot of things to go right. A great offense even. Like everybody has off nights. Defense, it's very rare you have an off night defensively. Defense is kind of just effort and being in the way and like doing your fucking job. Basketball, who has an off night defensively defense is kind of just effort and being in the way and like doing your fucking job basketball

who has an off night defensively in basketball you're not gonna you're not gonna hear it's a more consistent set of positions I never remember hearing Ben Wallace

was having an off night on the defensive end you know what I mean just couldn't rebound today yeah there's like you do your job give effort

you do exactly what the fuck you're supposed to do you make the right read you're good there's no like two or three p everybody just do your job why are people so and i and i pose this to both of you but why are these offenses so effective during the regular season and then they just kind of fall apart well i mean i'll rock with you on that if the chiefs don't win Yo the Chiefs are an interesting one Because if the Chiefs don't score Yo say what you want

About the Texans They're gonna slow the game down No no they played a good game They put what 31 points up Yeah You know what happened If you got somebody running the ball And controlling the clock

Your offense isn't getting on the field as much anymore You're not getting in many possessions And that's what the fuck they did You know what happened? If you got somebody running the ball and controlling the clock, your offense isn't getting on the field as much as you want. You're not getting in many possessions. And that's what the fuck they did. They ran a great game plan. They kept Lamar Jackson off the field as much as they could. Talking about the Titans or what? I'm talking about the Texans right now.

Oh, the Texans. My bad. Sorry. You know what happened again? I watched this game, and I think it might have happened. I missed a couple minutes of the Seattle game, the Russell Wilson's last drive. So it might have happened again in Seattle. The underdog, the game the russell wilson's last drive so it might happen again in seattle the underdog the texans are up 21 nothing on the chiefs 24 they're up no they're up they're up 21 at this point oh they're driving they're in chiefs

territory it's fourth and one they kick like a 30 yard field goal whatever the fuck it is they went for three you are the underdog you're up 21 nothing go for it on fourth and one score a touchdown it's 28 nothing and the game is probably over probably you kick a field goal you give the the chiefs some life and say you know what we gotta stop kind of that's a little victory let's take that with us then they get one big kick return then travis kelsey is jacked up he gets a 20 yard catch he's jacked up they score the game is now a game it went from 24 28 nothing potentially 24 7 and we got a lot of time left i think the texans were stopped on the fourth down also then they faked a punt on fourth down which i thought now at this point it's stupid the chiefs have momentum

i mean i get trying a fake pump but like why wouldn't you go for it on fake like if you're going to be aggressive stay aggressive right if you're going to be conservative this isn't the time to do it but once i got stopped on that fourth and two then the chief scored again and now it's not like playing pussy do not if especially for the underdog i think in general but especially if you're the underdog you go for the fucking kill because that's the only shot you have seattle seahawks get the ball with five minutes left i don't know the context i don't know where they are my youtube tv went out shouts youtube tv for fucking me but uh apparently they kicked they punted on fourth down. Punted back to Aaron Rodgers.

You have two plus minutes left. That's not going to work out for you 95% of the time. I don't think from what I was watching, the spot seemed bad. It seemed like a bad call, again, for the Patriots favor, but also go for it on fourth down. Go fucking win. You are the underdog.

If you play pussy and you lose, that's what's going to happen. You're the worst team. Take the fucking shots. Get the advantages where you can. Pussies get fucked. Pussies get fucked. Yeah. That was my big takeaway from that.

Again, I just kept seeing it. Yeah. And do you think the Packers are legit? I think the Packers are legit because they've gotten this far without having an Aaron Rodgers game. And I think this game was, this playoff game gotten this far without having an Aaron Rodgers game. And I think this game was, this playoff game was like the first game where we were like, oh yeah, Aaron Rodgers is probably one of the best quarterbacks we've ever seen. They were, like you said, they got this far on defense and running.

Aaron Jones and just locking the fuck up on defense all year. And Aaron Rodgers had like, for any other quarterback, it was a good year. But it was like a down year for him didn't the Niners mouth fuck them last time they played though 29-3 or some shit like that the Packers a few weeks ago I haven't believed in the Niners this whole time either though so maybe I'm an idiot

as a football fan I want to see Mahomes versus Rodgers in the Super Bowl I think that's the dream matchup as far as like where the game is going and where quarterbacks are going and if you want to see Mahomes versus Rodgers in the Super Bowl. I think that's the dream matchup as far as where the game is going and where quarterbacks are going. And if you want to see an exciting football game on both sides of the ball, that's what I want to see. But just knowing football, I know it's going to be Niners-Titans. I know it's going to be Niners-Titans.

Because if Derrick Henry is running like he was running, and like you said about defense, defense rarely happens off nights. I've seen a defense, I don't think in my life that can tackle as well as a Niners defense and that Niners defense is legit the line

they don't like who's the Dalvin Cook the Minnesota Vikings running back is good and he's hard to bring down I didn't I don't think I saw him

break a tackle the entire game I fell asleep it got so boring because he would get to the line of scrimmage I expect him to break one or two tackles

find a hole whatever it just didn't happen he just gets brought down the second. Nick Bosa or DeForest Buckner or whoever the fuck gets a hold of you, they bring you down. That's just what they do. They don't miss tackles.

And if you don't miss tackles, you're probably going to win. Who you got to take on the Super Bowl? Honestly, I don't know. I was just so impressed by the Chiefs. My feeling has always been with Andy Reid teams is like, if you can just stop him from scoring, there's nothing they can do. I mean, they're like, he's like the D'Antoni of NFL coaches, right? He's like, we're just going to put up more points.

They're going to get offense. They're going to get offense. Their defense has been better this year. They tried to, they were aggressive on defense in terms of like picking up players, trading for players or whatever. Right. And they started playing well late in the season. They were the number one defense in the league the last like eight weeks

or whatever. And this is when Mahomes was hurt for a little bit, too. So until he got his mojo back. We forget that he fucking dislocated his knee or something. He was having so much fun out there. He was laughing. He's fucking great, dude. He's so fun to watch, man.

I mean, just so confident that he could drive down the field. It was pretty interesting to see. I've never seen, like, since Aaron Rodgers. He's probably the best straight-up thrower of the football that I've ever seen. Oh, it's unseen. It's pretty interesting to see. I've never seen, like, since Aaron Rodgers. He's probably the best, like, just straight-up thrower of the football that, like, I've ever seen. Oh, it's unseen. It's unreal. Like, it is uncanny how good this dude is at finding ways

to get the football to you. Who would you take? Over Rodgers and Mahomes? No. Lamar or Mahomes. Mahomes. Now, we talk all this stuff about Lamar and about how amazing he is. He's undeniably

more exciting but what is going to help you win a Super Bowl I think it's Mahomes Mahomes got a I mean Lamar got an arm too I mean Mahomes is just a better

throw of the football than Lamar Lamar Jackson than everyone Lamar could get there he could become this fucking but Mahomes is already there so just right now

give me the guy who's already there he's not as mobile not as exciting he's mobile enough Lamar's got the bigger upside but Mahomes is already up he's just right now, give me the guy who's already there. Just take the guy who's there. He's not as mobile, not as exciting. Lamar's got the bigger upside. But Mahomes is already up. He's already there. He's already won an MVP.

All he's got to do is win a chip. You know what I mean? Look, guys. We got to wrap this up. I want Akash, you to promote some dates. And Kaz, you guys to promote some dates. Yeah, I got some shit. Akash, I know that you're going to be tonight as people are listening to this.

The day this show drops, I am at the Stress Factory in New Brunswick. Yeah. I know that you're going to be tonight as people are listening to this. The day this show drops, I am at the Stress Factory in New Brunswick. The next day, tomorrow, Wednesday, I am at Helium Comedy Club in Philly. January 29th, I am at the Punchline in Sacramento. January 30th through February 1st, I am at Rooster Teeth Feathers in San Jose. So that's right before the Super Bowl, San Francisco. Hopefully, y'all have lost by then. Come through to the shows.

If you haven't lost, come talk shit to me because I don't like your team. February 6th, Zany's in Nashville. February 8th, The Laughing Skull in Atlanta. And we just added a few dates. I'm super fucking hype about these

and y'all gotta come through so I can keep coming back. My first Canada date, not Toronto yet. I get that message a lot. We're working on that. That will happen. But Montreal. Comedy Nest. March 12th through March 14th. Sick. Come

the fuck through. I know I got love in Canada. Come let these motherfuckers know what time it is. March 27th. Another one of my favorite cities is Chicago. I'm going to be at the Den. March 27th. That's a Friday. Come the fuck through. Great. And then in June I get this message a lot. I'm finally going to be at the Den March 27th That's a Friday Come the fuck through Great And then in June I get this message a lot

I'm finally going to be in D.C. At the Comedy Loft June 12th and 13th Awesome We're going to start Promoting these tickets As soon as we can Buy them up

Let's fucking go Let's do this Arkhatsingh.com Make sure you get them tickets Go to them fucking shows bro Cass talk to them I guess by the time You guys listen to this

You'll probably already know But I'll be in Baltimore today Hosting the Under Armour Summit With Joel Embiid Yeah Where he will unveil listen to this you'll probably already know but i'll be in baltimore today hosting uh the under armor summit with joelle and bead where he uh will unveil his first signature shoe he'll also be talking for the first time so he got his hand surgery so it should be all over on the most african thing ever just another sandal bro that'd be perfect that just makes your foot ashy as you listen i'm plugging god damn it So I'll be there for that. The week after, I'll be in Aspen, Colorado with the X Games doing episodes of Cause and Effect for Revolt and Geico.

White Boy Kaz, let's go. Yes, sir. We're getting snowboarded. We're skiing. We're doing all that shit. I'm bruising on motherfuckers for this content. And then right after that, I'll be at the Royal Rumble for Houston, Texas, hosting a live stream with The New Day with Kofi Kingston. When? Not this weekend, but the weekend after that. Right before the week leading up to the Super Bowl. I'll be in Houston, Texas that weekend doing the Royal Rumble.

Houston, come through. Love Houston, man. Hell yeah. Let's get it. I had my parents come through. Yo, man. Y'all heard my shit earlier But come out and support

We'll see you this weekend in New Orleans Joy Theater Really looking forward to this weekend New Orleans love that city man Theandrewschultz.com for all that Thank y'all so much for listening We will see you Friday On the Patreon episode

Wildin as we usually do. Chuck them up. Keep them tight. We love y'all. Appreciate y'all. Peace.