Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh - Comedian SUED Over Jokes: Vir Das

Episode Date: March 17, 2022

0:00 -start 9:00 - Marvel is just Bollywood movies for Americans 13:30 - When Vir started doing stand up in India 19:30 - Why comics are going to JAIL for jokes 56:30 - where does comedy go in India in the future? 1:09:16 - on a flight where someone has died 1:30:00 - American Cancel Culture vs Indian Flagrant 2 is a comedy podcast that delivers unfiltered, unapologetic, and unruly hot takes directly to your dome piece. In an era dictated by political correctness, hosts Andrew Schulz and Akaash Singh, along with AlexxMedia and Mark Gagnon, could care less about sensitivities. If it’s funny and flagrant it flies. If you are sensitive this podcast is not for you. But if you miss the days of comedians actually being funny instead of preaching to a quire then welcome to The Flagrancy. Join the Patreon Asshole Army: http://bit.ly/2xQwHYf #Flagrant2 #AndrewSchulz #AkaashSingh New York native and internationally touring stand-up, Andrew Schulz is known for his hilarious and unsafe comedy. He has starred in the sitcom BENDERS (now available on Netflix), can be seen in Amazon’s SNEAKY PETE, HBO’s CRASHING, and on MTV including GUY CODE and GIRL CODE. In the podcast realm, Schulz can be heard on the wildly popular THE BRILLIANT IDIOTS — co-hosted by nationally syndicated radio and television personality Charlamagne tha God — the hilarious sports commentary podcast FLAGRANT 2, and the film and TV analysis podcast WESTERBROS. He has made major appearances on The Joe Rogan Experience, Bert Kreischer’s BERTCAST, Joey “coco” Diaz The Chuch of What’s Happening Now, and Theo Von’s This Past Weekend. He has even done solo interviews with the likes of Lil Duval and many others. Andrew’s online presence has touched hundreds of millions of people across the globe and his unconventionally funny approach to the comedy world has launched him into stardome. His shows Dropping In and Inside Jokes will rack of hundreds of thousands of views weekly. Nothing is off limits for Schulz, from sex to race, and even the occasional audience heckler roast, Andrew is hungry to be the best. He can be seen in New York City performing regularly at New York Comedy Club and the Comedy Cellar.

what's up everybody welcome to flagrant 2 um we're about to have on international superstar comedian veer das on the podcast um but before we do that we know on this podcast that alex has an issue with laughing when he hears an indian accent so al al you have to promise everybody right now lock it up that you're not gonna laugh when you just hear him talk he's already happy that was the funniest special i've ever seen hey lock it up lock it up how he met my mom didn't laugh say what he met my mom he told me about that he was fucking dying oh you want to talk about yeah talk about that talk about that talk about that talk about that he was being talk about that. Talk about that. Talk about that. Talk about that. He was being very disrespectful at your wedding.

How do you figure? Very disrespectful. How do you figure? You know. You dress up as a pirate. I told Akash. You did? Yeah.

He told you? Yeah. What did he say? I don't remember. You remember? No, you wouldn't remember. You remember? What'd you say?

Son. Son. This guy is crazy. My mom? Yeah, yeah. Yeah, he's not. That's not son. This guy is crazy. My mom? Yeah, Jesus. That's not funny. Son, both of our moms with the hanging heavies. What you talking about?

What you talking about? Sorry not sorry, you know what I mean? My mom not a baddie, Al? My mom not a baddie to you. I was going to say hello and then he's like, yeah, Jesus. Yes, I did say that. Hey, that's not Jesus.

If you don't say it in a must-need, you go, hmm? Yeah. Hmm? I did say that. Hey, don't cheese up. If you don't say namaste, you just go, hmm? Yeah. I did do that. Okay? You jerk. Thought you could throw me under the bus. Namaste, auntie. Oh, we have a guest.

Yes. We have a guest here. Hey, welcome. Welcome to the podcast, Veer. You've definitely spoken on podcasts before. You know how to hold down the mic. We can move that to help you. For those of you guys who don't know,

Veer Das is the most famous Indian comic in history. Oh! No pressure at the start. We've noticed this often happens with comics. If we compliment them too much in the beginning, they fall apart. They're not used to praise. I just want to say,

you look like you're interviewing for a job fall apart. They're not used to praise. I just want to say, you look like you're interviewing for a job right now. There's two Indians over here. I might be, actually. But no, so we have to balance how we feel about the guests, oftentimes if they're stand-ups, and what would make them feel most comfortable. You can move that back as much as you want.

But obviously, Akash put you on my radar. He's been talking about you for a while yeah we're looking at your stuff very excited to have you here thank you man yeah no it was a nice like reach out he said bhai with bhai means like brother and like if an indian guy calls you brother you have to do what he asks you to do like this is like all right fine we have a game you guys know so you're here reluctantly. This is very good to know. Al, you're doing a great job. Now, Veer, I was watching some of your stuff. Obviously, I know things about India through my best friend Akash. He informs me a lot about this.

And the first thing that I'm curious to know is, you hear probably a lot of Americans talking about censorship and freedom of speech etc is that laughable coming from india and doing comedy in india the things we complain that we can't say like when you guys complain about twitter being mean to you and stuff or just like like a cancel culture. Yeah. Where your cancel culture is like you could go to jail. How many lawsuits do you have against you right now? Seven. Right now, at this moment? Yeah. I mean, there's

five police complaints and like two lawsuits. And these are for jokes. Not gang rapes or anything? Okay, good. Just making sure. Done with that. Done with that. I've moved on. Just making sure. Done with that.

I'm not doing that anymore. I've moved on. Not talking about it. I've changed. If I go to jail, maybe. But we'll see. No, for now, done. No, it's, I mean, the way that I like to look at it is my country is young. You know, so just in terms of like stand up in terms of jokes in terms of responses to jokes

in terms of political material we're just young yeah so we're learning how to respond to this stuff so a lot of the stuff that i do maybe has been done here you know 20 years ago 30 years ago and it's no big deal so i look forward to a time when some of the shit that i do is just like no big deal this is passing got you you know now because of the censorship do you feel like you're able to do the jokes that you want to do or are you restricted a little bit I uh I always start out doing the jokes that I want to do and then the show that comes after maybe I'll tone it down a little bit yeah and I'm not gonna lie like any artist who comes in here with like a sense of like false bravado like no man I'm I'm not going to lie. Like, any artist who comes in here with, like, a sense of, like, false bravado, like, no, man, I'm fucking.

Yeah. Absolutely no. Because things like that affect more than just you. Yes. Like, they affect your family who maybe didn't sign up for that ride. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know, so. Would they come after your family for jokes?

Yeah, I think so. Like, my, I got into trouble, like, last year a little bit. And then, you know, you get death threats. And it's not just you. It's your wife. And it's your family. And then, you know, you get death threats. And it's not just you, it's your wife and it's your family. And it's a couple of other people as well. What was the joke? I did a video at the Kennedy Center. Two Indias.

Oh, I watched that. Yeah. So that was fun. It was a fun week in my life. What were they upset about that? Just that I was kind of doing stuff abroad and talking about duality in the country. Yeah. So I was like the number one trend in the country for a week. Oh, wow. I was called a doing stuff abroad and talking about duality in the country yeah so I was like

the number one trend in the country for a week oh wow it's called a terrorist on the news it's a fun conversation with your mom that evening so so you know now did you know this so I've seen this is a light-hearted start yeah yeah he's like oh shit no we're gonna we're gonna have fun look we talk about you right people will do this a lot we'll get a lot. We'll get it in there. We'll get it in there. We have a terrorist on the podcast. So exciting. In your city next week. Did you know that was coming when you did?

Because here's the thing I've noticed. First of all, watching For India, your most recent Netflix or second most recent Netflix, I realized I'm American. Because when you were talking about there's these five things every Indian knows. I didn't know none of that shit. And so I see why Indians look at me and they're like, you're not Indian. Akash did say that. He was like, dude, I feel so white right now. I feel so white. Like you talked about the thing that

every Indian, I've never taken that shit in my life. Also, you put people in different sections, Akash was telling me. Yeah, you had a white section. We did, yeah. Isn't that a good idea? It's kind of good, right? it's like fun and everybody gets along and it's like segregation yeah that's fine it was separate but it was equal we just we put like white people in a row and then we lit them up every time we spoke to them so they deserve

the spotlight absolutely whatever you are you deserve the spotlight yeah 100 it's about us absolutely okay that's why that's why the american embassy in india is technically american land like do you guys know that like anywhere you go in the world the american embassy is that every embassy no i don't think so i think just the american embassy is considered america i don't think the portuguese embassy fucking cares they just know because that's why they can't get that guy uh snowden out no it's not snowden uh the other guy assange julian assange he's in like the el salvadorian embassy or something like that which i feel like Snowden out. No, it's not Snowden. The other guy. Assange. Julian Assange. He was in the Ecuador. He was in the El Salvadorian embassy or something like that,

which I feel like you could get in there. Is he El Salvadorian? No, but they just gave him Bitcoin. All right. I think they gave him Bitcoin. Right? Isn't Bitcoin legal tender in El Salvador? Something like that.

Yeah. They're big on it. Guys, get a little more culture, dude. Yeah. What color would you make the lights for them? For El Salvadorians? Yeah. Bright? Yeah. culture did yeah yeah what color would you make the lights for them uh for el salvadorians yeah bright yeah guys i'm in so much trouble already let's go baby uh but so here's one thing i was gonna say in my parents generation especially conservative indians they don't like indians

talking about any bad stuff in india you should always present india in the best light i think their feeling is we get enough shit from this guy talking about me raping people all the time. You know what I mean? Like, so you should only present the good things. So I writing that if I'm you, I assume, you know, hell is coming. No, I knew that. Firstly, it's kind of weird that what I said would happen in the video happened right after the video. Right. So that's one. But I can only explain this in a way that comics understand

like there's a piece of paper in my hand and the reason it's there is because i wrote it at 7 a.m and i did it at 7 p.m yeah you know so it's it's so you it's new material you know you're doing it at the kennedy center which is a bad idea but you know it's still something new that you just kind of feel and now but you film that shit like you knew it was something. You had to look at the fucking balcony. Like you knew this was going to go. Turn the camera on them. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

But guys, you've done enough shit on your own and put it up on YouTube where you know you can't predict when something's going to be a conversation. You just don't know. Yeah, fair enough. I put something out and it turned into a conversation

and you kind of have to humbly accept all the feedback that comes your way. Would I do it differently? I would wait a little bit more. Like I'd workshop it a little bit more. But no,

I'm not going to let anybody tell me how to express my love for my country. That's beautiful. Yeah. So it boils down to something

as simple as that. Now here's one thing I don't know if you guys know. Veer was an actor. Like was a comic first but then Kulhev was a Bllywood actor was

in a movie called delhi belly which is a big movie in 2010 it broke some is bollywood crazy or what it's the biggest industry in the world yeah that's what i'm asking it's nine films a weekend like nobody makes movies like we do this is so for years how much does a movie cost like cheap it's cheap but like what i love is like for years, everybody was like, you know, Bollywood movies are too long and they're unrealistic and you have like ridiculous costumes. And now every movie is a fucking Marvel movie, which is three hours long. It's realistic costumes where somebody is avenging a father's death and jumping off a fucking ceiling. Yeah.

Like Marvel is just Bollywood. That's all it is. Yeah. Or maybe vice versa. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. I think Marvel has been around since like the 40s, right? Not making movies, though. But not movies, though. Like Marvel movies are like 10 years old, maybe? Yeah, Marvel movies. Yeah, this iteration of Marvel movies that we're seeing is just Bollywood without the songs, is what he says.

It's three hours long. It's all fight scenes that are ridiculous. Now, in Bollywood movies... Fucking Iron Man and Shah Rukh Khan. That's all that shit is. Yeah, but they don't say Shah Rukh Khan got superpowers. That's just how he operates. He's flipping over 18 wheelers. You know what I Khan. That's all that shit is. But they don't say Shah Rukh Khan got superpowers. That's just how he operates. Flipping over 18 wheelers.

You know what I mean? Yeah. So that is different. But what, to me, to have that- Stop talking about Marvel right now. I can't wait.

I can't let the- I can't let the- And you just sitting there taking it, bro. I was trying to be polite. Come on. Knock. Cut it out.

Come on. Stop acting. Marvel's copying Bollywood, bro. Yeah. Get the fuck out of here. I like that there acting. Marvel's copying Bollywood, bro. Get the fuck out of here. I like that there's two Indians that are going to push back on you now. I like that. Two Indians. That's this special.

Which Indian are you from, bro? No, come on, man. Marvel is copying Bollywood? Yes. How so? It's Bollywood with capes. That's it. They all have capes.

I love this, dog. Wait a minute, Al. Give some pushback. You're very familiar with Bollywood. I haven't seen They all have capes, bro. I love this, dog. Wait a minute, Al. Give us some pushback. You're very familiar with Bollywood. I haven't seen a single dance routine in a moral, so I ain't counting that. Yeah, we don't do the dancing, dude. Spider-Man 3. It's maybe because you don't know how.

I'm just putting it out there. I'm just saying. Al! I'm just saying. No! I'm just saying. You're black and Puerto Rican. That's double.

He might have a point, because that shit was fire. Then he hit more. You guys can dance. Fine. But whatever. Our superheroes don't have he hit move. You guys can dance, fine. Our superheroes don't have time to dance. We're saving the fucking world. There's no time to hop around and shit. Maybe the world wouldn't be in danger if you guys danced more.

How do we let him in? I'm not backing down, guys. Go back to your concerts. I will in three weeks when my visa expires. Wait a minute. Is that how y'all see our shit? Because this is American arrogance. We think,

well, I mean, it is called Bollywood. You're naming it after Hollywood. We don't like that term so much. Y'all call that shit Bollywood. Respect the goats. I feel like you guys finally caught up

to what our movies are about. Say again? I feel like you guys finally caught up to what our movies are about. Say again? I feel like you guys finally caught up to what our movies are about. We can't copy off. Y'all copied us. What language do your movies speak? Like 26 different languages, right? But majority Hindi.

Exactly. Exactly, dude. In India, most people go and see a movie. Like this is their one thing that they get to do each week, right? So like you got your wife and your kids and you go out and you see one movie yeah and that's like your entertainment for the entire week if you show that guy spotlight he's gonna fucking kill himself that week right so it needs to be like escapist and huge and big and cathartic and just an out-of-body experience and you guys finally caught up to what that's what movies is supposed to be that's why you go to

the theater you think that we just figured out escapism in film? Yeah, absolutely. Yeah, we never escaped before. We never had fantasy. No, but so far, your escapism has been the news, right? That's where you get your fiction. Yes, it is fiction,

but I don't feel like it's escapism. News is like... Now, to be fair, you can't insult American news. It's true. Why? Is your news fun? it's escapism. News is like... To be fair, you can't insult American news. It's true. Why? Is your news fun? It's government-controlled.

I watch one guy's news, an Indian YouTuber. He's fucking great. Did you see... TGIF? No, that's different. TFI Global? TFI Global? Indian YouTuber, and he does it in English, and he also does it in hindi and this

guy's fucking awesome i should i'll check everything is just china sucks and i like that every headline is like uh uh modi emasculates gg ping on the global stage and i'm like let's fucking go it's indian alex jones that's the guy i've heard yeah i've not seen it. I don't know. TFI Global sounds like a hedge fund that steals money. Yeah. But yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, say something about that. Did you guys invent hedge funds too? How are you defensive about hedge funds?

Anything American, Vier! There's one America, and it's all good. True. True. No, the hedge funds might be fucked up. Here's what I want to ask you, though. Why would you leave Bollywood for stand-up? Is that just like, that's what it had to be? I had a moment where I just kind of fell in love with stand-up again.

When did you start stand-up? 2006, 2007, really. But when we started, there was no clubs in India. India, they say stand-up started December 2009. Yeah. So like what we had to do, which is just ridiculous, you had to book out a theater

and then you had to go up with like 90 minutes of new material because they paid for an evening, right? So you're just like, blah, blah, blah, like no dynamics, just fucking yelling for 90 minutes

to figure out what's funny and what's not. And so I kind of just did that for like four years until the scene came around. And then I think was two things right one uh i just fell in love with stand-up again i had like a good moment on stage and i was like i feel more fulfilled by this than the last six things that i've done and then i did a really shitty movie and like nobody wanted to work with me anymore for like three three years and i was like i'll just do the stand-up thing again so started taking it seriously i want to say 2011 12 like that's when i was like now real quick

question about bollywood i've been told that there's a lot of uh uh nepotism in bollywood yeah yeah very similar to i don't know how similar i mean it happens in america obviously as well but like is it the only way in is if you're part of the family or if you're close to the family or can the average person get a role

man I'm 5 foot 8 showed up in Bombay with one suitcase if I get to be in a movie anybody gets to be in a movie oh so you didn't have any family that was involved nothing

he's lying about 5 foot 8 he's like he ain't no 5 foot 8 he ain't no 5 foot 8 let's keep it a buck here yeah yeah yeah I love this guy but he ain't no 5 foot8". He ain't no 5'8". Let's keep it a buck here. I love this guy, but he ain't no 5'8". Yeah, yeah, yeah. Tell him.

All right. That's God telling me I'm making a mess. It's all good. Oh, there you go. There you go. Okay, so it's possible that the average person could go out there and get a role. I think so, yeah. I mean, it takes longer.

You'd have to audition. It's definitely a step up. But yeah, I'm not going to deny that there is nepotism there's a lot of nepotism in every industry we just get this one version of bollywood and again i'm going to get like the most distilled version of it so it's just gonna the craziest things that i hear um but yeah my understanding was it was like a family thing and like not so much i mean there's like talented kids who are coming in from everywhere. What I always kind of balance that out with is I feel like there's more expectations of fairness in like entertainment industries than any other industry. Like if a banker like hired his own kid or if somebody else hired his own kid, you'd be like, all right, he's just putting his family into what he does.

But then suddenly because it's entertainment and everybody kind of feels like they could be a movie star as well and had a shot you're like no everybody should get an equal shot including myself like secretly see that's yeah that's interesting because i always hear nepotism as an nri i always hear nepotism it's always family family family i mean there's there's like a big league of bollywood which is the a-list and that that is yeah you have to be a star kid to be in that. But then there's 9,000 movies right below that, which is slightly cheaper but equally entertaining, and you get to be in those. So, yeah.

I just look at like a... So at the highest level, it is nepotism. But there is opportunity to potentially rise. I guess I kind of view it the opposite when it comes to business because business can be so cutthroat, right? In America, if you're working for a bank or if you're working for a hedge fund or something like that, you have to increase the profits of the shareholders.

And oftentimes, the best person to increase the profits of the shareholders is not your son and daughter. It might be a CEO from India who come in and do it. And the problem with my fucking Knicks is if you literally look at the board for the New York Knicks who haven't won in 50 years, it's everybody's last name is Dolan. Same with the Dallas Cowboys. James Dolan. And I think nepotism is the problem.

Yeah. You can't tell me that the five people who are best at increasing shareholder profits all just happen to be from the same family. I know, but there's a big like Indian tradition of putting your kids into the family business. So I think you have to kind of strike a middle ground between that which is like almost like if you have a farm or if you have like that's what we do you know it's not culture to put our kids into our business so I'm not defending nepotism right it's definitely an easier way to get into a movie yeah and on Friday whatever the fuck happens with your movie happens like on Friday nobody can

save you right whoever your dad is or whoever your mom is on Friday, whatever the fuck happens with your movie happens. Like, on Friday, nobody can save you, right? Whoever your dad is, whoever your mom is, on Friday, if you suck, you suck. And you're not getting another movie. So there is that. But I don't begrudge a father or a mother the desire to put their kid in. Nepotism is the shit. I love nepotism.

Yeah. I've had a plan since I was a kid. No, no, I love nepotism. And I love parents looking out for their kids. I see, like, you know, Will Smith putting his kid in shit and, like, giving them that opportunity. Yes. no no i love nepotism and i love parents looking out for their kids i see like you know will smith putting his kid and shit like giving them that opportunity yes anybody in that situation would do the same thing yeah it's the people who aren't able to be in that situation who oftentimes go hey this is unfair yeah maybe it's unfair but you might be in that

situation you would absolutely do it you were in a movie with a bollywood kid imran khan and now you know you're doing much better than him Do you ever want to laugh at that motherfucker? No. He's the nicest guy in Bollywood. He really is. Hey, bum. What you doing? Nothing.

He's like, he's just one of those guys where, like, you can put a camera on him in any angle at any time of day and he fucking looks good. You ever meet those people who just the camera loves

at all times? He's just one of those guys. Absolutely. So, yeah, he's, he's not acting anymore but he's directing so like directing that's what you say when he fails an actor but the point is he was mean to my friend's friend so fuck him oh my gosh the point is the old friend's friend yeah yeah fuck him what did he do he was mean to my friend's friend's friend yeah friend. Yeah.

You know what I'm saying? Fuck him. That's how things work over here. He's up. Choose a side, dog. Anyway, let me ask you this. What's going on with comics going to jail in India? Because I'm here and it seems so fucked up. Yeah.

For jokes they didn't do. Yes. I heard he went to jail for taxes. Munawar? Yeah. What's happening? No, man. They showed up and said he hurt religious

sentiments and put him in jail. And then red tape and bureaucracy kind of kept him in there for a month. And there's four comics that went to jail. Munawar Farooqi is a kid's name. Muslim comic. They said he made a joke. He went to jail. And then the four comics that were with him on that show also went to jail. Wow. So like you're in a country where you can go to jail and then you, this is what Andrew is kind of alluding to, and you walk up to this line and you say what you can get away with and then you pull back. How do you do that? Is that dangerous?

Or are you just not in jail because you're not Muslim? I have the most privilege that you can get as a comic in India. I'm an English speaking Hindu upper caste heterosexual man. Yeah. So it doesn't get better than that so if i'm not going to talk about stuff a uh you know who is yeah uh there are many comics who don't have the privilege that i do or can't afford the legal team that i do like i got sued by lawyers for lawyer jokes two years ago yeah i went to high court to defend lawyer jokes so like munawa doesn't

have it even five percent as easy as i do yeah um so that's the reality of what it is right now but hoping for better days you know i was watching um i forget which bit it was it was uh it was oh it was about the uh the gay stuff there you're like we have 1.2 billion people like it was like anal and oral is illegal and you're like we have 1.2 billion people we need to be advertising this stuff it was a great idea um can you explain like what happened from like writing the bible of sex to being like the kama sutras the bible of sex right this is like hey we figured out sex this is the best nothing better than that and then now where it's like sexuality is kind of scrutinized does it even exist in the same way like what is that

just british influence like no i mean a what happened was a billion people and then it was too much and you had to go we had a lot of people come out of that but uh i don't think we're as sexually repressed as people think we are like we're actually a very sexual country uh that head knot was creepy i shouldn't have done that. I realized it as it came out. I was like, that was wrong. It was a bad move. But I find like sometimes Indians here are far more conservative than Indians back home.

I don't know if you've experienced that as well. Yeah, my parents brought over in India from 1970 that they resisted. And then stuck to that version? And that's what I thought India was. And then I go to India and my cousins are wiling. And I'm like, y'all are more American than I am. They're fucking? Your cousins are fucking? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

They're fucking, they're drinking, they're smoking, they're doing everything. Right now. There's people fucking while watching this podcast. They're not allowed. But my male cousins will talk to me about this shit openly. And I'll be like, yo, you guys are living way crazier than me. Where are your cousins? Like, where in India?

Delhi. Nice. Mainly. So, yeah's those kids are crazy man can i say like here's what i loved about your special uh because it was uh it was great but what i loved was like there are five roads that an indian what do you call an indian from here like a second generation american mexican so a mexican from here terrorists in a mexican there's a show uh

there are five roads that an indian comic can go down and you chose none of them like you chose just five different roads it was very cool to see i didn't even realize i did that but thank you no man like you you didn't use the accent too much which i thought was only because i'm not good at it if i was good at it i I would be exactly what Russell Peters is. I would copy his act word for word. So what I love about Russell Peters, a lot of people don't talk about that. Guys, infamous tour news. Cleveland, let's just be honest.

It's not working. It's not working between us. I don't really want to go to you. You don't really want to come to me. You know, I think this is really a you issue, not a me issue. Frankly, we've sold out every fucking show on this tour for uh i don't know maybe over a year now we have one city where there's seats remaining it just so happens to be fucking cleveland like anybody wants to go there in the first place lebron wouldn't even stay and he's from there who the fuck do you think you are taking your sweet ass time to come to my show okay all i'm trying to say is i've already agreed to do this show so

i'm going to be there i'm going to do it reluctantly i don't give a fuck about you and your fat mom missing teeth what your mom wears white t-shirts to the bank with mustard on them what is this okay your mom wears crocs unironically okay your mom got an abortion in her neck okay what is this is this a reference your mom your mom your mom has a thyroid issue your mom has a thyroid issue and she smells like it your mother smells like a thyroid issue okay cleveland i'm coming there's a few tickets left which is insulting because we know there's nothing better to do what are you going to do in cleveland that day huh you're just going to bounce ping pong balls over your mother's swollen neck cleveland we'll see you soon we'll also see pittsburgh uh montreal sold out new york city

we had his second show see you there atlantic city sold out vancouver we had his second show and then that's it those are the last shows shows for the Infamous Tour. We'll see you soon. Love you, Cleveland. Guys, I got shows in San Antonio tomorrow. I wasn't that excited about them, but I have to pretend to be now because what can you do

to offset that energy? So, Friday through Sunday, my Sunday shows are actually in San Antonio, not Toledo, thank God. But, 18th through 20th, LOL Comedy Club in San Antonio. April 1st and 2nd, I'm at the Funny Bone in Toledo, Ohio. April 8th and 9th, the Improv in Tampa.

And of course, the Royal Theater in Toronto. And this is important, guys. There are no vax requirements anymore whatsoever. No vaccine requirement. No negative test. No dumb shit. Just come through. Let's laugh. Let's have fun. Tickets for these shows and more at akashsingh.com. Now let's get back to the show. March is here and the madness has officially begun. It's time for you to shoot your shot and score big on the nonstop action with MyBookie. Predict winners in each round of

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They close on March 17th at 12 p.m. So make sure you get your deposit in now with FLAGRANT. That promo code is flagrant to secure that free entry remember bet anything anytime anywhere with my bookie now let's get back to the show like what i love about russell peters a lot of people don't talk about that but like he's done it the best that anyone will ever do yes and he's the only comic i've ever seen where whenever he used the indian accent the accent was saying something funny yes the accent had power over the other person he act out yeah and any other comic that i've accent, the accent was saying something funny. Yes. The accent had power over the other person he act out.

Yeah. And any other comic that I've seen, like the accent is always the underdog. Yeah. And Russell gave that accent power. Yeah. So like you got to give that respect where it's due in terms of nobody's done it better. And this is what I used to say about like comedy. Like I have actor friends who are brown and think they're on some woke shit.

And they're like, I want to do an audition with an accent. And I'm like, yo, your parents have that accent. What's wrong with that? If the joke is funny without the accent, the accent is just your funny uncle. We all have that uncle saying wild shit or whatever. If the jokes are all making fun of the accent or making fun of my culture, then I'm not into it. Then I'm not going to do it. What are you saying with that accent?

I mean, sometimes I meet actors from here and they're like, I don't want to play a taxi driver or whatever. And my response is always like, what taxi driver? Are they getting into his family? Does he have something to say? Like, is it going beyond that? And also like, I mean,

Bollywood is like the biggest film industry in the world. Like for 80 years, the only role we've ever given a white guy is like evil Western oppressor. Right. That's the only role. Like every line is just kill the Indian dogs. Like, so where are we complaining about? Like, you know uh just layers and this stuff but i think we're

getting beyond that where it's not just like taxi driver taxi driver with the family has something to say has a voice has all of that stuff yeah i hope no i agree with that now do you ever when do you do accents in your like when you're getting auditioned you and i auditioned for the same show whiskey cavalier the one you got and i remember i talked, when you're getting an audition, you and I audition for the same show. Which one? Whiskey Cavalier, the one you got. And I remember I talked to you. You weren't that nice to me. What?

No, no, it was fine. It was fine. Yo, maybe no one likes you initially. Yeah. It might be me. It might be me. It might be you. It might be me.

Everybody's a dick when they first meet you. It might be me. Maybe I expect too much. You know what I mean? I expect good manners. I don't know. But the point is. Wait, what did he say that was real?

This is great. I don't know. I just went up to him and I was like yo man i'm a big fan man with green eyes we see an indian man with green eyes we're like there's a white guy trapped inside i think i was actually just bitter because i went in there and i was nice and you were nice back but then i went in there and you sometimes you go to an audition and it's very clear they're just doing this as a formality and they know who they want and the second i saw you and went in there and you sometimes you go to an audition and it's very clear they're just doing this as a formality and they know who they want and the second i saw you and went in there and they gave me that energy i was like i know they want this motherfucker this son of a bitch and then you got

the role so my gut was right they wanted you and i was probably just like angry about that because that show worked out really well you really missed out you you missed living in prague for six months in minus seven degrees celsius oh really and then everybody oh nobody's watching it okay fine we'll go back into the cold and shoot some more episodes now when you do an accent or when you do an audition though do you try to do the american accent or do you just keep your shit i ask them what they want and it makes them uncomfortable that's what so i'm like i have an indian accent would you like this in an american accent and then all of them are like just you do you whatever you that means they want the accent but they don't

want to sound racist my favorite one was uh i had a so gabriel iglesias had a sitcom yeah yeah right yeah and i think we all auditioned for that so i think they saw my headshot and thought i was mexican right uh so i just so i walked into the thing and and there's just like a lot of Mexican guys there. And so I went in and I was like, I'm from Mumbai. Would you like me to do it in this accent or the American accent? And they're like, no, just do you, whatever just comes naturally, do that. So I did the audition in this accent and they're like, could you do a Mexican accent? So I've never done a Mexican accent before in my life,

so now I'm just being racist really often. I'm like, hey, man. Like, just a bad Mexican accent. Yeah. And didn't get it, thought I was Mexican. Probably killed in the room, though. Oh, yeah.

100%. I want to hear you do the audition in a Mexican accent. Yeah, like that, I think is... I should do all auditions in a Mexican accent. Yeah, like that I think is... I should do all auditions in a Mexican accent. A hundred percent. I'm still on this Kama Sutra thing. I don't get it.

Why do we all not use it? The Kama Sutra? Yeah. Have you read it? I didn't know it had words. I thought it was pictures. I didn't know you could actually read it. I haven't either. I'm just going to be honest. I thought it was pictures. I didn't know you could actually read it. I haven't either.

I'm just going to be honest. Yo, it's crazy, right? Like, there's a book that clearly created 1.2 billion people. Yeah. Right? It is the best fuck positions ever. They're like impossible. My dad had a copy.

G's up. Stop. Your dad had a copy. You're about to say it's not impossible. It's not impossible. Bro, you are only on your back. There's back positions.. Your dad had a copy. You're about to say it's not impossible. It's not impossible. Bro, you are only on your back. There's back positions. Look at that one right there.

Look at that. Reverse goat girl. It's not impossible. Look at that. Reverse goat girl. Can't go cow girl, bro. No disrespect, man. I think they call it

doggy style the Congress of the Cow. Oh, really? I could be wrong about that, but I'm definitely sure that's one. The Congress of the Cow? The Congress of the Cow. I'm just saying like i don't understand how this doesn't have more cultural importance it's almost like a punch line now this is the book you guys figured it out clearly it

works yeah let's go when are we getting back to this right you don't have the energy for none of this that's a young man's game bro but i want to be able to you know i want to be able to teach the young man no but like why don't you guys do like what you did with yoga with this shit right like have like bill and goats and shit like that and then have kamasutra class you guys have goat yoga there right no we don't do that to all people over there we have goat meat over there goat meat you guys have yeah yeah no goat yoga is, goat yoga is fire. Don't judge until you try it. What is goat yoga? So they put up. You do yoga, right? And then there's goats there. You have sex with a goat.

Yeah, and you fuck it. It's very simple. You fuck a goat. You fuck it, dude. You fuck a goat. You fuck a goat. You all eat a goat? That's what y'all do?

Welcome to Scotland, my boys. That's barbaric. Barbaric to eat a goat. You never see that tagline, right? Goat yoga, fuck right goat yoga fuck a goat fuck a goat no we did goat yoga before man

you gotta try it's just it's just yoga with goats goats are great nice yeah I do no yoga like I know more white people

who do yoga than I do yoga really yeah so y'all don't do any of the good shit that you made no that's a valid

that's a valid criticism we'll talk like embrace your culture bro stop trying to steal our movies like start don't steal our movies stop trying to steal our movies. Don't steal our movies. Stop trying to steal our tech jobs.

Just do your shit. Fuck awesome. What is the other thing? Goat yoga, apparently. Goat yoga or just regular yoga if you want. Pilates, is that from you guys? No, Kama Sutra. Kama Sutra, that was the fuck awesome thing.

What other stuff? I missed that. I totally heard that. No, there is a thing we do where we'll get embarrassed. Ain't no way you can do Kama Sutra after eating your food. That's why you know that shit is cat. Come on, bro. No, Indian food at the house is different than Indian restaurant food. Is that right?

Yeah, you've eaten at our house. You didn't walk out feeling like that. This shit that we serve that doesn't exist in our house. Akash. It's spicy. Yeah, yeah. It's the same. It's better when your mom makes it. Yeah, yeah, the same it's better when your mom makes it

and even better when your aunt makes it but is his aunt hot or is that this is inside this is inside my mom is the best

cook in the family my mom knows this she just but for some reason he told me before I went to go eat with her he was like

my mom's good but mine's way better and I'm like why are you giving me this information don't tell me this before I go in here. I'll be judging the food. To be honest, you know.

Like chicken tikka masala. Like that's not a thing. It's an English food. It's an English food that we just made. And like every Indian restaurant in the world sells that shit. It's all English food. Okay. Sure.

For now. For now. For now. Give us us 10 years so chicken tikka is complete no it's a it's made for like british people that's why there's like mad cream in it is that general sow's chicken and that basically the general sauce chicken of india is chicken so what is the real indian dish sex Indian dish? Sex. Dal. Dal. Yeah, that's it. Rogan Josh. Is like regional.

Like that's not, that's Kashmiri food. So that's like North Indian stuff. But like dal, bhindi. Bhindi is, yeah. Vegetables,

it's like a good vegetable, like okra, this thing. And then biryani, I think is like. Biryani is big. When you go, when I would go in India, they would have three meals.

Every meal was the exact same it was aloo which is potatoes seasoned cooked whatever roti which is the bread and dal and chal

and rice that's it that's all I ate every meal and a paratha you gotta have a paratha that's just like a stuffed bread thing with like

curd and and pickle hmm yeah we didn't even have that we didn't even have that at all like we ate it but nah I got the same shit three meals a day every day Hmm. Yeah. We didn't even have that. We didn't even have that. At all? We ate it, but no.

I got the same shit three meals a day, every day. How'd that feel? Yo, dead ass, I didn't like potatoes. And then after I ate enough, I was like, I was tripping. Potatoes are kind of lit. Yeah. I didn't like aloo. I was like, yeah.

Where'd you guys get potatoes from? Oh, God. Ireland? Oh. Did we? I don't think so 100 white people brought potatoes india before that you were just eating slop wow it's true and then there was just like an entire indus valley for a slop and then white people showed up and they're like we bring this. And in return, we want everything else you have.

Give us some jewels. You get some potatoes. It seems like a fair trade. Yeah, that's what happened. I think that's what happened. We got to mop up the slop a little bit. We need some potatoes. That's what we do with the roti.

That's what that bread is for. I know, but eventually you get tired of all the bread. Right? Al, you know this too. You studied that region. You studied most of Asia. What are most of asia you told me that how's it every time you're just going to this guy you're like this it's like your show we have a spotlight on the color i'm just i just want our fans to understand and our supporters to understand

what's going on in India, where the food came from where the culture came from it's all you guys it's us, dude that's why we're taking all your jobs and all your brides and all your technology talk about it

it's more aggressive than it planned to talk about it is that criticized sorry. It's more aggressive than it planned to. I'm sorry. Talk about it. Now, how is that criticized? Like when Indian dudes have like a white wife? Is that criticized in India? Reverse colonialism? Yes. It's celebrated, right?

Yeah. Oh, really? What about Indian women? I don't do it. Go on. To me, that's whack that it's so celebrated to not marry an Indian girl and marry a white girl or whatever. And that's part of why I shit on white women so much.

Cause it's just like, somebody needs to not do that. Somebody needs to be like, yo, our women are beautiful. Why are you sitting here celebrating this outside race? Just cause you had this complex. Let's get over that.

Also, do you know like a lot of like white girls will meet a brown guy and then just be more Indian than the guy. Like in one month, the white girl is like more Indian than anybody in the family. Have you seen that? Oh, they're like, like she, she knows everything about the culture she's like yeah trying to show respect that's annoying yeah yeah it is hey hey a little bit as well i just want to say

this is just a little bit this is a little bit pandering right yeah hey a little pandering ass bitch out of here dog get that somewhere somewhere else beat us some fucking frankfurters just be white stupid ass bitch be white it's why we met you be white yeah exactly

be proud be white they're ruining the thing that you like right you want to parade around the white girl you don't want the bindi and the fucking sorry

I want the bindi I have a brown wife no if you get the white wife they want the skin and the white babies I don't want aindi. I have a brown wife. No, if you get the white wife. They want the skin and the white babies. I don't want a white wife. No, hypothetical situation. It's too much conversation.

It's too much. The people that do. The people who, yeah, yeah. The people who are. Wait, wait, wait. Actually, go back. This is funny. Wait, wait, wait.

Why don't you want the white wife? Because I'm about to relate to you. You talk about your feelings all the time. You have to communicate. You have to do all of that stuff. All the communications. I just don't play it against the wall. What?

What is this? Yeah. All these feelings. That seems aggressive, but yeah. It's too much communication. Say again? communicate you have to do all of that stuff played against the wall what is this yeah all these feelings that seems aggressive but yeah it's too much communication say again it's too much communication from my end from your end yeah my wife communicates i just listen that's it that's how oh but the white women expect you to talk back absolutely interesting then you just get married aren't you learning this stuff as well i i am learning these things but i kind of just vent yeah and then she just takes it all in. And then it's kind of like the Black Panther costume.

Like eventually it fills up and then she uses it back against me. Yeah. But it doesn't happen in the moment. It just builds, builds, builds, builds, builds. And then explodes. She absorbs the power. Exactly. It's like Chernobyl.

Yeah. But like you vent without interruption. Yeah. I think you're an Indian woman. That's why I want the K sutra okay now are indian women allowed to date white guys uh yeah and like back home no problem depending on where you are delhi or bombay and all the indian men be like yo what the fuck is going on over here like haven't you made enough of our people good looking? Oh, my God.

Wow. Yeah. Wow. Wow. Hey, hey, who am I to complain? Who am I to complain? Hit him with a wink. Yeah, funny Jay Shetty. i to complain hit him with a wink yeah funny jay shetty that motherfucker is pretty i heard you don't like jay shetty i just do a joke about him why

just because he steals all his stuff who cares does he steal all his stuff that's that's you know there's oh yeah hey let's talk about beef yeah beef is fun i mean that's the bit it's just like he gets respect because we feel like there's a white guy trapped inside him. I'm just trying to get out. You don't think he's just a fine-ass dude? Jay Shetty? No, that motherfucker's fine. Yeah.

That motherfucker's fine. He's fine. Yeah, I mean, that guy's literally shaved the beard. His mouth could get worked. Oh, my God. Stop it up, bro. No, no, no. Have you seen a single Instagram video of him?

Of him? Show me an Instagram video of him. Because it's all, there are two ways, and there's a right way and a wrong way. You pick your way. Bye. It's very obvious spirituality. Hating. Hold on. That sounds like some hating, bro.

You did a two Indians. You did a whole two Indians. I think we got some hate going on. Why are you trying to divide brown men though? I want to put them in little systems, right? And then we can organize society like that. He's trying to create a hierarchy. That's it.

Okay, let's see what he's saying. Let's go. Pretty motherfucker. The amount of days that I wake up and actually want to go to the gym. What is his accent? He has an accent? Are very, very few. Yeah.

Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Do I feel amazing after going to the gym? Yes. Meditation's been a part of my life for a long time, so it's changed. I have a healthy relationship. Where is he from? But there are still days when I don't want to meditate or I'm too tired or exhausted.

Oh, he's Australian. Or I'm too bored to go to sleep early, and so I'd rather think that maybe if I stay up a bit late, I'll be more entertained. He's South African? He's our Trevor Noah, dog. What does that mean? Fine as fuck South African. I thought he was British.

90% of the reason for my hate. I thought he was British too. You can't have the accent you were historically oppressed in. It's wrong. Oh, shit. That's fire. Wait, what? He's English. He's English.

He sounds Australian. He didn't. Look, he's clearly a handsome guy. You don't think he's a handsome guy? I think that's part of the reason he doesn't like them. Oh, shit. You don't like handsome guys? You just don't like handsome guys, you know.

Should I feel insulted right now? He's not handsome. He doesn't like handsome guys at all. I never said you now he's not handsome he doesn't like handsome guys i never said you weren't handsome i'm just kidding i didn't say that i don't know why i hate him i just do it's like because he's gorgeous like yeah because he's pretty gorgeous and gorgeous and british no it's british why do you guys hate the brands like yeah what did they ever do well you know what i mean like didn't they put some trains or something

like you guys love the trains you love the trains it's your favorite thing the trains no no no that was a fair trade did they do anything good

did they do anything good you could say England is the third India you could say you could there's three Indias there's three Indias dude the matter is sub judas

right now so I wouldn't say anything no is there anything they did that's good? Do you ever look at something in India and you're like, well, at least we got that.

There's got to be something. The Taj Mahal, right? Like, that was good. That was a Muslim. I know, but what I'm saying is maybe it came from some, you know, maybe it came from some people who weren't the nicest.

Cricket. Cricket. They brought cricket over and now we're the best team that there is. Well lost to pakistan last time but it's okay but still the best team i'm just saying i just want to put it out there you know what i'm saying boy we got a pakistani here yeah what's up man oh yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah this is the west in the west we're all Arabs. It's fine. That's true.

That's cool. Well, actually, technically, Veer is African. Oh, yeah. I grew up in Nigeria. Until when? What age to what age? Madness.

See, that's why he came back. I went to Africa age 2 to age 16. I was in boarding school in India. You're an African. I thought you moved earlier than that. I thought you moved when you were in like third grade or some shit like that. Fifth grade. No, I was two years old when we went to Nigeria.

I thought you came back to India earlier. So your formative years are Nigerian. I'm Nigerian. But I went to boarding school in India when I was eight years old. Do you know any of the cool dances? No. Wait, you went to boarding school in India when I was 8 years old do you know any of the cool dances no wait you went to boarding school in India when you were 8

so you would go to India half the year and then come back to Nigeria for summer or whatever yeah so you just still spend most of your time

in India yeah 8 months a year yeah 8 months a year in India my parents were in Africa but again

like Indians in Africa tend to be just very kind of insulated yeah 100% like gated communities and only socialize with Indians

and it's a thing oh so yeah accepted indians in africa yeah very much so really good relationship with everyone cultural similarities yeah and i think like indians and nigerian people are very similar in that we're very like emotional people uh it's uh like we're just similar cultures like in terms of values family values systems all of that

don't trust them when you're doing business it's very similar were you taking down some sisters oh my gosh I was 8

so no but when you were 16 no no nothing no still no but you didn't see and you

weren't just like oh shit dude no I you think they started dancing like this because they were looking over the gate No, still no. But you didn't see and you weren't just like, oh shit, dude. No. You think they started dancing like this because they were looking over the gate to see if there were Indians in there? Are there Indians in there? What's that? Who are those people? And then you guys are dancing back like.

No, we were just waving with hands to show them the hands. We're here. We're here. we actually are here okay so so no no chocolate no not until college i went to college in america oh and then you took down yeah i went to galesburg illinois the mecca of civilization why why why they're financial aid like there's a college called knox college that gives you like 90% financially, 95% financially. So it's like 1,200 kids, really diverse. So yeah, that's where I went to college.

You also went to the Moscow Center for Performing Arts or something like that, right? No. No performing arts in Moscow? I have no ties with Russia at all. I just want to put that out there. You see how they do, yo? You see how they do?

I heard that from Doug, eh? And it's on your Wikipedia. I went to... Program. Yeah, I went to a program in Boston. Be careful. But Russians are fucking amazing to start reacting with, right? Because after four years of drama school,

Americans are very feedback-oriented. They're like, I see what you're doing, but take a different direction, emote with your shoulders, whatever. That stuff. Russians are just like, bullshit, get off stage. I don't stage i don't like you insult check off your mother is whore it's like very direct feedback yeah so like after three years of drama school and you spend all this money to learn how to act uh the artistic director of the moscow arts theater comes up and he's like

acting is very simple uh read script build with script then do what the fuck you like and he left oh so he came to your program in Boston yeah there's a program with the American Repertory Theater and the Moscow Arts Theater it's like five months and they teach each other rap I think probably not doing that anymore and it was method acting right

so who were you who was I as in they i mean it's it's like meta stuff but i was apparently like a horse is is what they were saying like you have the embody the psychology of a horse is what they kind of gave you in in this thing so you paid for this it's actually full scholarship so i was just like okay i'll go so what would you do as a horse here we go what would you do like you know i don't

you gotta show us you know but would you show us like that you just eat carrots and shit like pretty much yeah no it's a bunch of russian people who sit around you and like give you vodka and they're like we think you remind us of like a horse that's insulting dog i think so you need to live as a horse that's insulting it's like reincarnation before like past life regression i used to be a horse yeah maybe they had it maybe you have it in you maybe you were a horse in a past life and they noticed that. I think so.

Yeah, I think Russians can look into your past lives. They can tell what you were, yeah. They might destroy your future one right now, but they can look into your past. They're giving those people a bright future. Are they? Are there potatoes involved this time as well? Is that what's going on?

How do you make vodka? That's what we need? Fucking hell. Almost died right there. Yeah, dude. The acting thing is interesting. It's hard to go back after doing stand-up or no? It's very hard.

Because it's not real. I'll do a project sometimes and I'm just like, fuck, if I have to talk about like intermittent fasting and protein shakes for another hour, I'm going to kill myself. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're talking about

with the cast. With the cast. It's hard. It is so, the socialization. And because everybody's having some personal crisis that really nobody

gives a fuck about. And then you come to a comedy club at night and you're just like, oh, damaged people, my people. And you feel at home.

Yeah, it's so true. People don't understand like the downtime is, it's all downtime. Yeah. And it's just like boring downtime with the dumbest people. Yeah. I don't know who said it, but she was like, I act for free. I get paid to wait. Yeah.

Judy Garland, maybe somebody said that. But I remember, so I'm still acting, but I remember the moment I knew, I'm like, I need to find something that's fulfilling. Like I was on, I was in a movie and in Bollywood movies, we have like five or six songs, right? So you rehearse for like eight days for a song. And I was on a piano on a beach in like white pants with like a chiffonreet boys video like a chiffon shirt that was open i see it and there were like six air blowers pointed at my shirt so it was fluttering in the wind i met carbs in like a week yeah uh and i was just waiting for this girl to run towards me yeah and they film her in slow motion so like this lady had to charge like this fucking 10 times a day

and i'm just like man i need to find something else to do with my fucking life all right guys we're gonna take a break for a second because i gotta make sure your energy's up okay i gotta make sure your energy's up and you need that gamer subs to make that happen i'm telling you right now you're playing video games with the homies call of duty all right you found a way to like redo the game to make sure we're taking out russians right you're the fucking ghost of kiev where the ghost of Kiev stays up all night because he's on that gamer subs. Just taking out Russian planes, taking out Russian tanks,

taking out Russian whores as well. Gamer subs got him up all night. Laser focus. Gamer subs. It's probably healthy, isn't it? It's healthy, dog. Zero calories, keto friendly, whatever you want to do.

I took it right for the podcast. See, so Akash is going to be off the the wall and you know another cool thing is if you buy one of the tubs you're gonna get one of these waifu cups yep do you know what the waifus are look at that shit right there i got a tittyless waifu still love it you dork yeah you got the bitcoin waifu the waifus come with badass anime chicks on them yeah front and back oh here you go thank you mark got a real one. There you go. Look at that. Mark got a straight one.

Cat ears, full set of tits, no nipple prints. I mean, that's fire, dude. That's super fire. Full set of tits, no nip prints. Nips are soft. Nips are super soft. But fat tits. Fat anime tits.

Maybe resell it on eBay for a couple hundred bucks. Yo, that's crazy. But why would you resell it if you already filled it with your cum? Why would you do that? Who's going to want to buy your cum-filled waifu? I'm just saying, if you don't fill it up with cum, you can resell it on eBay. Okay? Anyway, point is, we have a special promo.

Friday, we have Buy Any Tub, Get a Free Waifu Cup that you can resell if you want or you can fill with your cum. You go to gamersups.com. That's G-A-M-E-R-S-U-P-P-S dot com. Use the code flagrant to receive 10% off your order. Do it right now. Let's get back to the show. To that question, what was the moment where stand-up, you realize, was the thing? You said you fell back in love with it.

Was there a moment when you were like, yo, this is... Because I tend to think stand-up is who you are at the end of the day yeah and when you talk about two indias it's like oh he's a stand-up yeah i have to get this out what was the moment on stage where you were like nah this is who i am i'm a stand-up i uh i'd come to the states to like take meetings which is whatever that means this means give money to uber and i was in la and i got a spot at the laugh factory and it was uh it was two o'clock in the morning or whatever one o'clock like a late show and i hadn't done stand-up in like four years i just crashed and burned at the box office

and the guy who runs the laugh factory jamie masada yeah uh put me on after whitney cummings yeah and i did like six minutes and i just remember watching her like crush yeah like kill suck the energy out of the room and i went up and i did well yeah and i just remember being up there just being like easy follow love you wet yeah but i just remember like i was between her and dane cook right and what you have to understand is it's impossible to come from where I come from without being a bit of a fan boy. Yeah.

When you see like Western comics, so you've watched your entire life. So you're a intimidated because these are venues that you've seen in documentaries. Sure. So it's, it's bigger to you than it is to anyone who's grown up on the scene. And then you see people that you've seen in movies and you've seen in

documentaries as well, or they're special. So it's a big deal for you coming from india and so i just remember watching her being terrified going up doing six minutes doing really really well and coming off stage and being like i fucking feel better than i felt in five years and i will take this seriously now so then i just kind of started spending time here started touring the world a little bit more yeah yeah sometimes you got to change your model for success I think we get caught up in like the systems model yeah especially even like we have more opportunities I guess here in America for stand-ups now maybe it's changing in India but like early on in our career it's like okay I'm

gonna do some stand-up I'm gonna get a sitcom and then I'm gonna do that sitcom for a while and then I'm gonna put out specials and then you start doing some of these things and you're like, wow, I don't really enjoy that. Like every time I was preparing for a late night set, I'd be like, I'm miserable. And then I started to go, do I even need to do this? And I go, none of the people that I look up to have done this.

I don't need to do this. And then I go, okay, I don't want to do this as part of my model for success. And that's the freedom I think that stand-up kind of provides. I heard it put really well by somebody else. They said success is the amount of time that passes between like you having an idea and somebody believing in that idea. And most of us spend like our entire lives

trying to get that time down to like the minimum amount, saying I want to do this, and then instantly everybody's like, I want like the biggest Bollywood star is a guy called Amir khan if amir khan wakes up tomorrow morning and he's like i want to do a movie about donkeys that do judo in peru yeah fucking five donkeys will learn judo you know like somebody will write a script it'll happen in like five months that's success yeah to me yeah uh and i feel like for stand-ups because we have like nine ideas in our head every single morning that we got to put out like that's the journey but like to your point of what you were saying i think what really changed is everything else became so fake that people

started valuing authenticity yeah well more than anything else i think the the internet allowed people to see authenticity. We didn't know what was fake before because all we had was fake. You know, you try one type. There's one option for food in your neighborhood. That food is good. And then another restaurant pops up and you realize if that food is good or not. Yeah.

And I think that's what the internet did. It disrupted truth. It disrupted comedy. It disrupted absolutely everything. It's disrupting banking right now. The internet is just a great disruptor. And for our industry it allowed us to like go do the jokes we wanted to do and all of a sudden people start seeing them they're like oh i prefer this yeah to what i'm watching on fridays at comedy central but even it's a nice artistic sort of trip to change from here are all the gatekeepers between me and an audience yeah uh here's everything that i have

to be to them before i get to be somebody that they decide to the audience. And now just kind of going, fuck, there's a living in just being me. Yeah. And I get to control this. Like that's, I don't think there's a better time for us. For creatives. No, no. I mean, it's just, yeah, this is awesome.

And they'll find a way to clamp down. Yeah. I want to ask you one more question. You're credited as like really moving comedy forward in India. Like one of the big guys that like helped get it started, right? Where do you want to see it go? Where are you trying to push it to? And how?

I want to see, I just want to see like nine clubs in every city. I would love to see that. And not in the big cities, in the small cities. I'd love to see like nine clubs in every city I would love to see that and not in the big cities, in the small cities I'd love to see comedy without consequence I'd love to see political comedy, religious comedy just like and where it's it seems like nothing unusual at all

it just feels like something that happens everyday I'd love to see more female comics in India that's something that I'd love to see there's not enough right now there's like a big sort of imbalance like working female comics in India maybe 30 35

that's a good amount that's a good amount 30 that's a lot how many female comics do you have here maybe 20 20 I think you're being generous. I think we got between 10 and 20.

I think you're being generous. Who you would consider a comic? Like, who everybody would consider a comic? Two to four. Wow. Two to four. Is Joan Rivers still a lot? Three.

Three. Yeah. So we need to raise the number. Eddie Izzard, I think, has become... Yeah, Eddie Izzard's a woman. Now he's a woman. So then back up to think has become yeah eddie is a woman now he's the one so then back up to four eddie is out is fucking amazing he's my top he's incredible like that's that's that's high like prior carlin and eddie is on my top three wow guy still wants

to act you know what i mean yeah next week i say the right thing baby really that's your top three what about rock what about patrice what about chappelle i think you like it's who you grew up with as well right so i just wasn't exposed to them when i was like growing up but like carlin for just sheer not give a fuckness yeah prior for vulnerability and putting that into stand-up yeah and eddie is uh for saying something that he clearly wrote and making you feel like he made up the entire show on the spot. Ah, yeah, yeah. So that's why I like those three guys.

Yeah, Eddie's great at that. He can make it feel like the first time. But it's all written. And it's super craft and it's all rehearsed. Yeah, he is like the blend between like a stage play and stand-up comedy. Like a one-man show and stand-up. Is that still a thing though like i think the

british do it a lot more than than we do here but i feel like those lines are blending as well right in terms of like what stand-up is i feel like that discussion changes every single year yeah and you're like no this feels like a one-man show or this feels too cinematic or that feels like a ted talk or i just it changes if it's less jokes it's one man show. And if it's more jokes, it's stand up. If you can't be a successful stand up, you do a one man show. Yeah. Interesting. Yeah.

Or if there's one theme in it. But then like, is the American, like are Americans opposed to like stand up shows with narrative? Or like with story to them? No. I think that those people are incredibly successful. Yeah. I think that like people are incredibly successful yeah i think they're like sometimes stand-ups i feel like we're all thinking of the same people and not saying it but anyway but who like like a mike berbiglia or something like that no but like that's pure

storytelling and yeah he's a storyteller like i feel like that's joe neil brennan has joke heavy one-man show absolutely hilarious okay uh berbiglia is funny burbiglia is storyteller yeah he's mastered it right so it's like the would you call that a one-man show burbiglia i would call one man show but burbiglia could work those jokes out like parts of those stories out on stage yeah he was a successful stand-up yeah i was one of that like do storyteller stand-ups like pop into the club yeah i think they work out the stories there. And I think that's how they get them good. Nice. I mean, that's what I would do. I would want the expectations of a stand-up crowd,

if I'm killing with that, and then turning to the narrative. And then you separate yourself a little bit. I think that's good. I don't think there's anything wrong with it. I do think that there are people who go, I'm a storyteller because they're just not punching up their jokes enough. They don't want the expectations of stand-up. Nice. storyteller because they're just not punching up their jokes enough they don't want the expectations of stand-up nice but i think the elite storytellers and one-man show guys like the eddie izzard guys no comic is going oh yeah he's not that funny he's just being a storyteller he is stand-up funny and happens to have this like orchestrated beautiful piece yeah which i think you could look at like you know i don't want to say next level because i love watching a chris rocker a bill burr or like a patrice like i like what they do and that's a

little bit more my style but i appreciate somebody putting together a piece even archives like you put together a piece there's a string of these jokes that all had a similar theme that was the idea yeah yeah so you could say you're gay you're gay gay. You could say that. I've been trying to say it for years, actually. I didn't know that you were one man gay. Yeah. But you are. I've been trying to thank you for finally seeing me. Finally, I realize it.

You and Jay Shetty got together. Oh, dude. I should be so lucky. Yeah. I look at Jay like, why are you settling? You know what I mean? Nah, bro. I think you got just as pretty eyes.

I don't know he's got better cheekbones he got great cheekbones his eyes are like icy blue yeah he's crazy no i don't think maybe like rithik roshan is like a big superstar gorgeous but he got three thumbs yeah true three i was like okay there's another one on this you got two thumbs on one hand yeah i had a i had a driver it's all why you ever notice that why is it you guys that always have like the extra fucking limbs and shit i don't know this is true you always say this and i don't think if there's a person that's like born with like another leg it's indian why is that the kamasutra that's why you shouldn't make that shit

because we're doing all the funny fucking right so there you go no but that's why stay away but is that a sheer numbers thing and we just don't hear about it from china because china doesn't like promote it isn't everything with us a sheer numbers thing literally i'm wondering i gotta have some fucking come on some mutants we just don't know yeah what do they do you can't call them mutants what weegers what do you call them what do you call is that what they're putting in the camp are they just finding all like the extra limpers yeah they can get

more work done there you go build the toys you have an extra hand yeah 100% yeah you're putting on

four wheels at once that's crazy make a building in five minutes yeah can I ask you a serious question though

why is India trying to do side deals for Russian oil right now I do not know the fuck is the correct answer

we thought that we were homies, man. I mean, aren't we homies? You live pretty far away. I just want to put that out there. Distant homies. They're right next door.

Yeah. We've been sending 10 cents a day or whatever. You know what I mean? Like, come on, yo. I thought they were best friends.

I thought they were in this together. I mean, 10 cents the company in China. You know what I mean? Fuck, was that what we've been sending the money to, Mark? We didn't get that shit, dude. I mean, Tencent's the company in China. You know what I mean? Fuck, was that what we've been sending the money to?

Yeah, we sent it in there. We didn't get that shit, dude. Holy shit. They were using the Indian babies to get us to send money to a Chinese company? Yeah, Tencent. Sons of bitches. I don't know is the correct answer. Like, I have no idea.

Is there any pushback to that? Any scrutiny? No, there is definitely. Okay, I don't want to get you in trouble back home. No, I'm not in enough trouble as it is right now. Okay, yeah. Because I'm curious also about the whole farmer thing. But can you talk about that without getting in trouble?

They repealed the laws. I know. And I remember you guys talking about that on the podcast, so I appreciate that. But two days after I put out that piece, and I just kind of went underground for like a week, and then I came out, and they were like, they repealed the farmer laws.

No, not me, but I was just like, I didn't know. I remember that line, bro. That was a good line. We brag about being vegetarians,

but we shit all over the farm. Was it? I mean, somebody legitimately ran over farmers, but no, but he like, it was 48 hours later. And like,

that was something that made me happy. You know what I mean? Like those laws went away. It was a a big movement so what are we thinking here can you even talk about it or do you get in trouble i don't want you to get in trouble i'm already in trouble as far as the farmers go those laws are gone the laws are gone and they won okay they won if there's one community that has like commitment and like doesn't back down it's the sikhs that's what i'll talk about you know like you just you like they will hold a grudge they will stay committed they will fight yeah my wife be holding the grudge right so his wife converted him yeah no she did not but you are

sick okay how do you meet your wife like uh she had a fat ass and I followed it. Nice. Yeah, boy. Most Indian way ever to meet your wife. Street harassment. Obviously. But... Did you hang out outside her college?

No, I walked out and saw and I was like, whoa. And then I walked to go see what she looked like and then her sister turned around and was like, can we get a picture? So there has to be family involved, right?

Yeah, yeah. But where was this? Yeah, yeah. We actually brought you on this podcast because we want to convert you as well. And by putting on be family involved, right? But where was this? Yeah, yeah. We actually brought you on this podcast because we want to convert you as well. And by putting on this

kata, by putting on this kata, you will now go to heaven. Or nirvana, or whatever you call it. Because the assumption is I wasn't going.

You weren't going to go. Yeah. But now, if you, on this podcast, become sick as... We'll have to put it on.

Let's see if it fits. There you go. Let's go! I played a Sikh man before in like two movies. How much did they make you drink? A lot. And there was no makeup. And I wore a turban.

And I grew a full beard. And I got to eat what the fuck I like, which never happens in a movie. Yeah, you can pull it up actually. And then I played like an old Sikh man as well. i played an 80 year old Sikh man which is kind of cool now did the Sikh community get upset where they'll never actually give a role to a guy with a turban just just that's what i was asking like does the Sikh community go why can't we do those you see that old guy oh wow that's me as a Sikh man top left yeah that middle one you look like bin laddy but that left one but but is that is there like ever pushback from the community like does the community go

hey we want um Hindu people playing roles that are for Hindu we want Punjabi people playing roles that are for hindu we want punjabi people playing roles that are for punjabis like that exists in america not at all no uh so this movie that we did was about the Sikh riots where a lot of Sikh people lost their lives in 1981 and we shot it in a place where those riots happened and it was kind of magical in that everybody who lives in that locality would just come out and stand on their rooftop and watch the shooting for like nine hours a day so you're you're recreating the worst moment in their history 81 84 81 there was another one oh sorry in 1924 and and so you're you're recreating the worst moment in their entire family's history and they're just quietly watching

from a rooftop as you recreate murder and fires and and violence and they couldn't have been nicer and more respectful and how did they uh take in the movie was it successful did they appreciate it no it wasn't a successful movie but it was just it's one of those things where you'd be shooting and then suddenly food would show up from households oh and they'd be like come in and like you know come and have lunch with us like they were just really really good and like the one thing about the Sikh community that I will say is like they never let anyone go hungry uh like they're a very respectful tight community so like that was a life-changing experience just shooting there in front of them I think I think he's gonna come around i think he's gonna come around would it be

bad for your uh career if you became uh trans if i became no i don't think so uh the way my career is going it might be it might be just the thing i need no oh what is the group of people i get to ask all my indian questions what is the group of people who are like trans and if you don't give them money, it's like bad luck? I mean, I'm not sure if they're called eunuchs, but I don't know if there's like an official word. We have a term, I don't remember what it is, but there is a term though. Yeah, and they're considered to be holy

and if there's a blessing in your house, you give them money. Yeah, we look at it more like a mafia that comes and asks for money and you pay them in delhi my family uh just no that's what i've heard you give them money or it's bad luck and it's not out of reverence necessarily it's like yo must be nice to have the monopoly on good luck though like that's a good yeah i said no to one on the street and i swear to god my plane coming back from india that night had turbulence and a guy had to go to the hospital yeah i think i was aimed aimed at me these motherfuckers trying to get me and they got some guy in coach lucky your boy was upgraded yeah man they just saw your eyes and they were

like he has dollars we're gonna go talk to this yeah but that's the real thing that night somebody there was like a medical emergency they had to call for a doctor on the flight it was wild because you like somebody else i don't know i didn't give a guy 100 rupees he gave me bad luck and luckily it missed i'm like harry potter out this bitch yeah my dad was on a flight where somebody died and in the weirdest like announcement the pilot came on he's like oh ladies and gentlemen somebody's died but we're closer to our destination than we are to where we left from so we're just gonna complete the flight if everybody's okay with that wow and then everybody just sat in silence around a dead body for like 45 minutes and we're happy to get

to their destination i mean i i would have pretended to be the dead guy i would have put the glasses on just laid there just fell on the guy next to me bro 45 minutes though you can't turn around no we're not turning around but also like even if we just went up in the air and they died finished the flight yeah in my opinion like don't yeah we have to get to sydney yeah like 11 hours it's fine yeah we'll put them on ice. How much do you decompose in 11 hours? Probably not that much. Yeah. And they already stink. Yeah. Oh, wow.

Just jokes, guys. You know what I'm saying? Do we have a doctor on the flight or deodorant on the flight? Do we have deodorant or cologne? Also, yeah, what are the chances? There's got to be doctors. Or is this our bigoted understanding of Indians? When you go to India, it's just like America.

In that, how do I explain this? Here, I expect greatness of Indians, right? Doctor, engineer, et cetera. I'm sure Americans, maybe abroad, you're like, oh, you're here because you're working in some corporation, whatever, right? So most of the white people there are like British tourists or some shit like that. But but over there the expectation when you're seeing indians you're

not like oh there's an abundance of engineers doctors or educated peoples well i mean there is an abundance of engineers and educated like we have the youngest working population on the planet right now like we have yeah i saw you say that yeah like, yeah, yeah. Like, it's, we are the workforce, or at least the biggest free workforce in democratic workforce in the world right now. So there's a bunch of engineers and doctors, but, like, it's kind of all changing. Like, you can, if you live in the bigger cities in India, you can be whatever the fuck you like.

And there's money to be made and support to be found. Like, it's really cool what's happening in my country right now. Other things, like, comedic stuff aside, stuff aside and like a right-wing government aside, just like what the younger generation is doing in my country right now is fucking breathtaking. It is. Sounds like opportunity has hit India. It feels like you guys in the 60s.

Yeah. You know, that's what it feels like it's happening in my country right now. My father always talks about like uh he was in the army he got in the army and he just walked into a local news station and just filled out a not even a resume filled out an application to be a reporter this is unheard of now now you have to go to syracuse and then get into reporter school and then hopefully you have some connection you do an internship but there was was a time in America where without education, you could just walk in and get these

different jobs. And I wonder if that's kind of what's happening. I see why black people are so pissed off. Exactly. I'm listening right now and I'm like, yeah, it was like that. Why'd you come here? Why'd you come here then? Why'd y'all come? I should have turned back.

There was already dead people on the ship, man. Make your own news station. They couldn't even apply to vote. Y'all applied to be newscasters. Son, once they got the right to vote, everything really went downhill in terms of becoming newscasters in one day. Yo, there is some sort of connective tissue there, you know? Is that what you did with your first vote is stop white people from doing what they wanted whenever yeah kind of kind of yeah i just love it when white people talk to black people about tissue that's my yeah it's fun no but is is that happening there like is that kind of opportunity

happening yeah i think so that's pretty cool yeah i i i'm hugely optimistic about where we're going to be in 15 years as a country like culturally i think we're going to be a force in the world i do i'm sorry if this sounds like sentimental or whatever but it's you know it's something i like this this is good yeah i love the idea of opportunity i mean you kind of did that you put a podcast on the internet and now people watch it you're like a newscaster and you didn't have to go into the studio that you did a step better take that out that's your fucking yankee mega hat by the way can i just say like as somebody who listens to the show like and i love the

podcast like my favorite part is also the way you guys do advertising on this thing because it's like crisis based advertising I've never seen anybody sell harder right so like

you come on and be like we're gonna take a break because I want to talk to you about your dick your dick is dead your dick is dead right now save your dick

your dick is dead your dick's on an airplane and it's passed away but we still gotta land I'm just listening we go full Alex Jones when we do the advertising. Maybe my dick is dead. He seems very convinced.

We're on Bluetooth right now. We're all on it. You guys hard sell, which is fun. All right, guys, we're going to take a break for a second because boners are important. They're important to you. They're important to the women in your life. Okay?

Your mom likes a hard dick super hard guaranteed your mom had a hard dick minimum once in her life you can't even refute that scientifically scientifically speaking irrefutable irrefutable evidence that your mom likes hard dick well maybe adopted nah nah bro this person i'm talking to right now is not adopted his mom got nutted in mark probably by the dad even the adopted person has a mom that's true that even the adopted person got fucking nutted she might not have wanted to raise him because she wanted too much dick yeah anyway, that whole batch of cum that your dad unloaded in your mom's box. Can we restart?

Deserves to come out of the hardest dick possible. Let him finish. Let him go. And Blue Chew's going to make that happen. Okay? Blue Chew. That's the truth. Same active ingredients inside Viagra or Cialis.

But this is the truth. This is the chill. This is the one that's going gonna have your mom bending over different oh can you help me bring the muffins out of the oven because oh i can't my back why does your back hurt you don't want to know it got blown out that's what happened that's what i was alluding to but thank you for saying exactly what it was point is your mom's getting the salt touch your mom is getting the salt touch and she deserves to get it and so does your girl so does your wife so does your side chick bluetooth.com matter of fact you will get it for free you use the promo code flagrant you're gonna

get it for free all you gotta do is pay five dollars shipping your mom's back is blown the fuck out okay you want you want to actually do that i think that's the end bluetooth.com use the promo code flagrant pay that five dollars shipping you get that first month for free enjoy let's get back to the show damn al you had a really great point there that we covered up with comedy, but it was an opportunity for everyone, huh? Damn, man. There's two Americans. My dad was in Baltimore, too. He's just the only white guy there.

Put him on the news! What a crime report. Literally, Oprah was there doing everything she could to to get on tv and my dad was like i'm available fuck it was racism the whole time yeah shit yeah well how are you guys gonna deal with that you gotta you know be careful with the racism my dad might come over there fucking take over the news i think your dad might do better than some of our channels is it rough the news it is because it's a lot of it is just fed to them by the you know by the authorities and all yeah so there's like three news channels that some of the news but you have a billion people

like he has a thing in his propaganda in the special where he says there's a newspaper and then he makes fun of the newspaper and he said i've been told if i mention them by name i will get sued to oblivion or some shit like that I've written my own articles in the newspaper like that's a thing like just because you paid them even though you shit on them all the time yeah like you can pay them and write your own article and they'll embellish it a little bit but you can buy space like we have a an entertainment thing called the Bombay Times which used to be a newspaper and now it says promotional entertainment supplement because they sell by the word so technically you can write your own article in the newspaper at least

they're being honest what they're being honest about it i think that's our frustration with the news is like you know we come out here we talk about different stories and we talk our shit but we're saying hey we're comedians we don't know what the fuck we're talking about yeah they're saying this is the news this is the truth well i mean is there one source that still like is unbiased or works because you seem to have like the CNN, New York Times, Fox News, blah, blah, blah. InfoWars? Or is it just Fox News? InfoWars?

Oh, my gosh. That is the truth. Now, I don't know. What do you guys think is the most honest? Breaking points? Yeah, breaking points. The podcast? Sagar and Crystal, right?

Yeah. They're good. Yeah, but I think you were probably talking about like mainstream traditional media right what do you think is but aren't they the mainstream media now like isn't that kind of gone well that's the beauty we are yeah right i mean we're still talking about these legacy media brands as like mainstream media but this is where the main group of people in america is at least getting their news yeah i don't think there's an unbiased news source, but I don't think there ever has been. I don't know if it's even worth pursuing.

I think you just try to get a mixed diet of multiple things that form a bunch of... I used to think BBC just because they had accents. You can trust it. No, that's real. Man, fuck the BBC. I'm just trying to say that. And I'll tell you why.

And I'm doing a bit about this now but like after two indias they had a headline and i was on the home page and it said indian comedian polarizes the nation i'm like do you know how badly you have to fuck up before the british say that you divided at the end of my performance people went to the lobby not pakistan fuck you so and due respect to the guy who plays cricket so yeah yo so the bbc is trash you don't fuck with the bbc how do you feel about british people in general i like them you like them yeah if we get our jewels back i'm on board what are you guys gonna do with those jewels though put it in the slop oh my god

we'll put them in potatoes because we know you're excited about that shit white people are going to show up Let's slip them jewels in potatoes Don't tempt me bro Potato and jewelry? No no In all seriousness Let's say you get the jewels back

Then what happens? Is it more symbolic? Yeah of course it's more symbolic So it's not really about the jewels No fuck no There's so many jewels Yeah right Who gives a fuck

The largest amount of undeclared jewelry In the world right now What about oil too? There's got to be some oil under there right in india i don't know you don't think there are ever dinosaurs in india i'm sure there were dinosaurs in india some of them are running it but uh why do you think there are so many dinosaurs in the middle east what do you think that was about i don't know all i know is all those dinosaurs won't take your president's phone calls right yo isn't that fucked up i'm about to fuck somebody up are you sure they've like i'm pretty sure they have spoken like they're back channeling but they're putting out propaganda that they're not answering disrespectful propaganda being

disrespectful and what do you know what happens like there's a history of like oh my god yo they've been punk for years come on there's a history of like. Oh, my God. Yo, they've been punk for years. Come on. There's a history of countries trying to sell oil and other currencies besides the United States dollar. Yeah. Right. I mean, Libya tried to do it. And then something happened to Gaddafi.

I'm not exactly sure. And then Saddam tried to do it with France. And then something happened to Saddam. I don't know. I'm just saying. Well, luckily, he had weapons of mass destruction. So we could kill two birds with one stone exactly we're doing the right thing twice but i'm just saying like if there was a country that was even thinking about

selling the yuan yeah you know and or selling oil in the yuan and with saudi arabia like they must have miss misspoke when they said that they're like we're talking to xi jinping and we're thinking about maybe selling if they were thinking about doing that like god forbid could it be that your president can't figure out the smartphone could it be that like i'm just saying because it's like an iphone 17 or something you're right yeah 100 he could be calling and doesn't know how to do the plus when you call the other plus is tough biden doesn't know how to plus is tough okay here's a question and i say this with respect like the big joke that everybody but he's talking about is he doesn't know where he is yeah he's so old yeah like wouldn't you rather that he just didn't know where he was yeah because in my experience leaders who do know where

they are it's a problem work out so well like so i prefer the guy who doesn't i think that they want him there for that reason and i think that he's a little bit easier to control and i think that in america we think that that the president has this authority. And I think maybe Trump actually had a little bit more of that than the average person. But you're a representative of a group of investors that basically control the trajectory of America. Just like I imagine most developed countries, this is how it works. And he's representative, but now we know that he's not actually doing anything so is it uh kamala harris is like she's running stuff no no she's not your

next president the idea whoever the next president is i think the idea is there's people we don't see that are actually running things and telling the people that we do see what to do which is kind of what we want you just want people running stuff back channel all of that average person doesn't want to think about all this shit they want to complain about politicians and bitch and moan myself included right i'm fucking trump this and buying that and fuck kamala harris and fuck nancy pelosi we do it all the time i'm guilty of this more than anybody yeah but deep down i low-key i'm like I hope some really smart people are dictating the course of American history and future. Yeah.

Like, I truly deep down. And if you got to listen to all our fucking phone calls. And I know there's people listening right now. Andrew, what a fucking cuck. How can you say this? You also hope that. Because you don't want some insane 90-year-old man who clearly does not know where the fuck he is actually making the decisions. You really want Biden making all the fucking decisions.

None of these politicians. Goddamn money. But then are you, are you hoping for that to happen with sort of a safe sense of security and that whoever's running this shit, whoever's making these decisions, we're still going to be okay because we're American. That's what I want.

That's what I want. But do you believe that? Like no matter who it is, you're going to be okay. No matter what. My fear is that I'm losing confidence in the people steering the ship let's assume it's not biden let's assume it's these other people i'm losing confidence with people steering the ship because it feels at least right now with this conflict that we don't have the same respect globally that we commanded

in the past and that was maybe maybe we had insane motherfuckers back in the day who were just like yo you're gonna get invaded yo you're not doing what we want you to do? It looks like your people are upset. Do you genuinely feel like you don't have the same respect globally? Yeah. When I hear that Saudi Arabia of all places is an answer in the phone, Saudi Arabia, there should be one man with his hand on the phone like this all day. 24 hours a day. Just waiting to pick up?

If it's a butt dial hello america how can i help you sorry i missed out oh i'm so sorry okay i have a question all right i get that the the not having to think about it and going to bed safe under the assumption that it's going to be okay if you don't think about it is the promise of america right in a certain sense yeah yeah yeah well said so i understand that and that is literally gonna be okay yeah so i think cluelessness or the ability to just breathe is your freedom yes right without having to think about that shit yeah could it possibly also now there's there's like a fashionable way to look at this across the world which is that america's kind

of like the mean girl from high school can you that point you made is really great can you just juxtapose that to what it's like in maybe some other parts of the world and why that is such a luxury? It is a big luxury. But explain that to people who might. Because I think in many countries in the world, not having to think about it or not thinking about it

means it will directly impact your life within a week. Every day you have to think about it. So sometimes, you know, like when I talk to Western comics or whatever, they're like, why don't you just talk about like lighthearted stuff etc etc and i'm like in comedy you talk about what's directly in front of you yeah and where i live and in many areas in the world what's directly in front of you is reasonably more tragic than what's directly in front of you in other places because you don't have to think about it yeah yeah you get to talk about your kooky story of going and you know you know, get coffee or whatever. So, so I get that right now,

the fashionable global view and I don't hold it is America, Britain and Europe are the mean girls from high school. Right. And now you're pissed off at the reunion that everybody else is kind of doing well. Yeah. And it's kind of moved on, but I don't think you lack respect.

I think that everybody else has more respect now. I want to submit that humbly. Talk to you know in this you know i i don't think anybody's you're still the largest economy in the world you're still the largest military in the world you're still uh at some level a country with a conscience that drives a moral compass in the world everybody gets that but i think you know in india there's there's a saying called which is you know our time has come like we're grown up now you know we're 80 years old and many other countries that we got shit to do now you know we're holding the baby that was given to us so you know you have to make your own decisions we have to make our own decisions and maybe we don't have time to come to

the phone right now yeah i don't like that i don't like that one bit i don't like that from saudi arabia yeah yeah maybe that's a better one and also such a so much of our economic stronghold is oil for dollars if you're gonna try to do that for the yuan if it's gonna be oil for yuan yeah that makes china that much more formidable and i don't based on what we know here about china andrew says this all the time you can complain about the american empire it's not been perfect yeah but i promise you when the chinese empire comes you're gonna miss ours oh yeah for sure 100 but like specifically with the you know with the dollars for for oil like this is what backs up our dollar it's what gives it value you know 80 of oil at least from saudiudi arabia sold in u.s dollars and like this is what

replaced gold essentially and uh it could really push the yuan to the forefront of global currency yeah if all of a sudden it was backed and that would be incredibly detrimental to you know every money every bit of fucking dollars that we have saved up in the bank right now until we all figure out that vladimir putin created cryptocurrency just to fuck with us and then everything collapses now is that do you think is that the i mean i'm excited about cryptocurrency because like india is the largest crypto market in the world just by the way like just in terms of we're like decentralized money that we can make without regulation. Let's go. So I think, um, it's gotta be,

I don't think there's a big conspiracy behind it. I know a lot of like, a lot of it just feels like fraud, you know, just like, you know, just in terms of, you know, I mean,

chill, chill. Alkaid is all big into crypto. Some of us have more than others. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I'm a big guy.

Crypto guy. How many Bitcoin do you have? If you don't mind. Too many to say publicly. All right, cool. I like money under the mattress. That's very Indian of you. Yeah, that's very Indian.

I like money under the mattress. But I don't know. I feel like everything is too good to be true. Something will collapse with crypto soon. I don't know why. I just feel like that. I think you're seeing it right now with NFTs, right? Having the prices of NFTs come down drastically. I don't know. Everybody keeps feel like that I think you're seeing it right now with NFTs right having the prices of NFTs come down drastically

I don't know everybody keeps talking about something called stoner cats like that's the big thing the new meme stock yeah have you guys like apparently it's worth like 8 million dollars

in like 24 hours oh this is an NFT it's yeah it's an animated series that's also an NFT ah yeah like Chris Rock is in I think he voices

oh really oh I think Mila Kunis I think did something with this I think she created it that's also an nft ah yeah like chris rock is in i think he voices oh really oh i think mila cooney's i think did something with this i think that's the big example right because for us like artists across the globe we're thinking about is there a way we can circumvent censorship and is nft and crypto that way you know it could be very interesting to say can i put this piece of uncensored content out but you never see it on netflix you never see it on amazon because they wouldn't touch it anyway you only catch it on nft or crypto like that would be kind of cool you put in the metaverse pay me

nft or crypto or whatever you know that could be kind of cool but uh i just feel like i don't know if it's reliable again this is a interesting in like insight into comedy in india versus comedy in america because we're not that worried about Censorship is almost a tool for us. There's comics who make their career off of, and I think we've done it at times too, hey, they're trying to cancel us, and that's it. Let me just ride that way for as long as that goes. Oh, you can't cancel me.

But there, it's like, nah, you legit will have shows shut down. You legit will get thrown in jail. You legit got to worry about censorship. Here, it's almost a tool. I think here, it's like pressure to self-censor, right? Like, it's just like enough internet pressure to self-censor yourself next time. But like, we have official channels that it's not, it's not a fair game. Yeah, that was an actual question I want to ask you also is you watch, you deal with actual

censorship, and then you see us censoring our own free speech with people being outraged by speech. And I mean, like, you can't say that. Do you look at that as like, that's crazy? Or that's like you're wasting this gift that you have that is freedom of speech? Or do you look at it like, no, you guys are just putting buffers on?

Yes, I look at it like it's crazy. It's crazy, right? And that I would give a lot for the kind of freedom that you guys have. And I wouldn't let other people's opinion of me make me censor myself i think the censorship thing here is is do you want to do stuff with industry or not if you don't want to do stuff with the industry you don't have to worry about censorship it's like do you want to make millions of dollars for a special then you have to worry

about it so it's really censorship for money that's our issue right you know if you have to worry about it so it's really censorship for money that's our issue right if you want to put your stuff out on youtube youtube's really not going to censor you and like if you put maybe a small disclaimer matter of fact there's like rules for youtube that show like if it's a joke it's okay to break certain standards that they have yeah because they understand that like satire is important so like you there are platforms where you could put your shit out and you're going to be fine. But if you want to make millions of dollars,

then maybe you're going to have to switch some stuff up. So it's more like a function of greed in a lot of ways. I think so. But isn't it also like, because you guys have always been outside of the system and now you are the system, right? So you put your stuff on YouTube, you kind of do your stuff yourself on Patreon.

Like, I don't think you get to know anymore what's going to drive people up the wall you know and i think having to think about it will drive an artist crazy i think that that will shut down artistic evolution like instantly if you even start thinking about that like because they're like at least i come from a country that's so large where there's so many things you could get upset about like if you sat down to actually second guess yourself you would go fucking insane yeah and often those are the things you want to write about right like that's the fun stuff so so I don't even think that's possible here anymore because there's so many varying opinions on on like any piece of comedy yeah but what I do like is you know they used to be the I did my jokes you like

them you like them you didn't like them fuck you I'm going used to be the, I did my jokes. You like them. You like them. You didn't like them. Fuck you. I'm going home. I'm on to the next city. That doesn't exist anymore. Right. So now it's a conversation. And if you're going to take their money, you have to honor the conversation a little bit.

So if you bought a ticket to come see my show, if you, if you paid money online to watch my shit, I have to honor your end of the conversation to a certain limit. Does that make sense? But starting to think about what's going to upset you will shut me down. to a certain limit. Does that make sense? Yeah. But starting to think about what's going to upset you will shut me down. I'll never grow as an artist. Yeah, yeah. You have to create a vacuum.

Like, this is how you feel, and then put it out. But yeah, they should be allowed to react to your work. It's not like you're not allowed to react. You're allowed freedom of speech as well. Yeah. Speak on what you saw. Sure, that's fine. I got some great advice

from somebody when i was like i was trying to write about everything that happened and they were like content can become controversy but controversy should never become your content like then you're doing a disservice to yourself as an artist so like if the because the big thing is now what will i put out next post this whole debacle right i'm thinking about for me i mean but if it suddenly seems like a reaction video or a response video to everything that you went through I feel like you're not growing and you're stuck in a moment in time as an artist so uh so to have like non-reactive comedy is the challenge does that make sense yeah did you feel that way about chapelle i i mean i saw your podcast on chapelle and i agree with

you in that had he ended it 15 seconds earlier yeah so like that was just yeah um you know it's like uh jennifer lawrence i think that's her name right uh yeah she'll she falls a lot right and sometimes she'll do interviews and she'll be like oh i fall everybody knows that i fall and i'm like no nobody knows that you fall yeah you're bringing like there's an entire world that doesn't know that you fall so if you fall tell me that you fall and we can have this conversation that's the only thing i felt about chapelle's thing where i was like he assumed that everybody knew that what he was going through yeah when there's when there's a gigantic world out there just like yo that guy's hilarious i want to see him be funny yeah yeah so that's my only piece of feedback is if this was my first time watching

your special i just didn't know yeah about all of this stuff and you're my idol and take me someplace new and if you're taking me there explain why why. Yeah. That was it. Yeah, that's an interesting take. Because he deals with so many people who don't know what's going on here. You know what I mean? Like, he knows so many people who don't know Chappelle. Yeah. To us, it's insane that you wouldn't know Chappelle. Yeah.

But you're in a country with 1.3 billion people. Who don't know, yeah. And 1.25 billion of them don't know Chappelle. And that leaves 500 million that still know Chappelle. But, you know, there's like leaves 500 million that's still but but you know there's like i think that's a great and also i mean it's it's a some of us don't know and b sometimes it's a good defense as well like i was at the uh the cello uh two nights ago and so i'm kind of enjoying that right just getting to be in a comedy club hang out with other comics and

get tags and get feedback i don't get to do that a lot and i was sitting next to this this lady and and she she was like uh i saw your set it was funny etc and i was like so what do you do and she was like i'm on saturday night live yeah and i just didn't know uh so i'm like i'm just gonna go with this because i'm from india i'm like oh what is saturday night and i made her explain to me what Saturday night live was. And I just went full Indian dad. I was like, wow, they must work you really hard.

That's a lot of improv. That sounds scary. Just knowing what it is, but we don't get that over there. So sometimes it's a good defense as well. Just to be like, we don't know. To plead ignorance.

Yeah. To be the fish out of water. Yeah. The, uh, it's like the Borat thing, right? Yeah.

It's like borat could literally do anything he wanted yeah and then you're just like oh he's not from here and also he he comes from like a pre-woke era you know what i mean like yeah yeah like he was dressed like 1981 you know what i mean and i think that was very smartly like intentionally done yes where you're like you have to feel like this guy traveled not just from Kazakhstan or whatever, but, like... But from the past. From the past. Like, he has to come in from a pre-woke era of the world.

And then you buy that shit. I was... Did you see Borat 2? No. Oh, no, maybe I did. I tried. I tried. I was...

That lady, Maria Bakalova, is, like, super talented. Yeah. Like, she's... I got to work with her and she's like amazing. She got nominated for an Oscar for that. She got nominated for an Oscar

while we were on set. It was kind of a cool moment to witness. Like they gave her a call and they're like, you're nominated for an Oscar. It was nice.

Is it important to you to be famous here in America? It's not important to me to be famous. Respect. In America or period? Yeah. In general. Or successful? I think. it's not important to me to be famous respect in america period yeah in general successful i think like let me rephrase it you know there's certain people like they they want to make it in america yeah and i'm not from anywhere else so i don't have this feeling like and i'm also maybe

from the biggest and you know stand stand up hub in the world. But like, it's not important to me to like be the biggest in England. It's not important to be the big. If people there love myself, that's great. But like, I want my success to be at home. But I often think that there are people from other countries that like making America validates them in a way like, oh, you went and made it here. Do you feel that way? And is that important to you? No. america validates them in a way like oh you went and made it here is do you feel that way and is

that important to you um no i so like nobody does fame better than india i just want to put that out there like fame in india is very good uh and and i think early why is that it's just like if you're into all the trappings of fame which is entourages and people pampering you and flying, whatever. And just everybody, just whatever you yell, it shows up. Sandwich. Sandwich shows up. If you want that, like nobody does fame better than India. Stardom in India is fantastic at all levels.

I don't know as much as you, obviously. But have you seen David Letterman when he interviews Shah Rukkh khan who's probably the biggest indian actor maybe ever but he goes outside of his house every day and just says hello to i don't know thousands of people just waiting to say hello to him in the morning not privately he gets a wave from the balcony he gives away and they're all like oh my god we saw him every day that's his day so i mean it doesn't get better yeah like the whoever you're most Kardashians i don't know who your most famous person is yeah it gets 10 times better yeah like the whoever you're most Kardashians I don't know who you're most famous person is

yeah it gets 10 times better in India and I think if you're fortunate in God's mankind to find some level of being known

early on you get to lose yourself for 5 years in that and just be an asshole everybody's entitled to that right yeah to have your big entourage

and personal people just you know 5 assistants with green drinks or whatever, the two cell phones, whatever your thing is, you get to do that. And then if you're lucky, you figure out that it's in your way and you get to reject it. Yeah. So I think I'm... Luckily the box office rejected you too. But I'm saying at some point I was like, what am I going to write stand up about?

Yeah. If I keep doing this shit so now I kind of respect you guys for that reason my next two films I'm producing

my next two series I'm producing you know my next special I'll direct it's just kind of like I'm not gonna wait for this market

to know how to use me I'm just gonna bet on myself and you're a thoughtful guy man Fort India impressed me so much the way you had everything set up even drinking out of so if you guys you know we're always drinking out of water bottles veer is drinking out of a jai cup that you get like from the street vendor like it's everything was done very thoughtfully and i really respect thank you so i'm excited to see what you put for and put forward because i i loved for india in the

way you did it i was like man this guy thinks through every degree it reminds me of how you think through every single aspect of what you're doing yeah he thought through every aspect of what he was doing i like that i like that though so to answer your point no my goal right now is to scare the fuck out of myself like just to yeah to put myself in atmospheres that i don't know how to exist in and america is one of them i just want to get good that's it i just want to get good yeah that's good i like that i just feel like sometimes there are people who think that like if they make it in america it validates them and it's like i get that if you're coming from a place where stand-up doesn't exist or you can't even make a living

doing it but i don't know for and maybe i'm spoiled but for me it's like it means a lot to me that the people that i'm talking about the people who i'm representing in the lives that I'm talking about, the people who I'm representing and the lives that I'm speaking to embrace me. You know, that to me means a lot more than, you know, I'm the biggest comic in England. Okay, that's cool. That's cherry on top. But if I was the biggest comic in England, but like nobody at home fuck with me,

to me, that wouldn't be successful. I mean, look, it's tough enough to crack one country, right? Yeah. To get people. But I just think you need enough people who like what you do. Yeah. To come and see you everywhere in the world. Luckily, there's a lot of fucking Indians.

Yeah. Everywhere you go in the world. That's true. So, you know, touch wood, ticket sales are okay. Yeah. But I do know that if I work hard, I can offer something different. Yeah. In that sometimes when Indian accents or Indian voices come over to America,

it tends to be a lot of the big buildings and it's all amazing. And, uh, and it's so different back home, et cetera, et cetera. But I think maybe to see an Indian accent, be like,

no, I'm going to take you back home and I'm going to show you some new shit. Chappelle, you take me to Ohio and I don't know anything about ohio let me take you to the suburbs in mumbai and show you some shit now you go on a journey with me yeah that's fire i'd like to be that guy yeah if i work hard yeah that's fire well shit man thank you so much for your coming man big fan really appreciate you man and tell the people where they can find you if you're doing shows. Yeah.

Instagram, YouTube, all these different things. I'm at Vir Das on Instagram. I'm at The Vir Das on Twitter. Not because I'm arrogant because Vir Das was taken. It's V-I-R-D-A-S. V-I-R-D-A-S. Vir Das dot I-N is the website. And I'll soon be in Houston and Los Angeles. Those are the two shows that need a push. So please come and see me.

I want you guys to go check out Veer. And I also want to commend Alex Media because before this podcast started You're an asshole. Well, you did an amazing job. So Al just finds the Indian accent hilarious. And we had a conversation where like

Al, you can't just laugh when he's talking about serious shit just because it accent hilarious. And we had a conversation where like, Al, you can't just laugh when he's talking about serious shit just because it sounds hilarious. I was biting my lip a couple times. I saw a couple times. But isn't it the same as like if you hear somebody speaking like crazy like Ebonics, you're like ha ha ha, I can't believe you speak English like that

way. No. I tried to come off less racist, but reasons but my bad anyway you did a great job yeah that's what i want to say anyway man thank you so much everybody go check out veer and support veer and keep doing your thing and let us know how we can help in any way thank you man i appreciate you guys thank you my brother