Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh - Crime Bill Biden Locks Up Corona

Episode Date: November 10, 2020

This week Andrew, Akaash, AlexxMedia, and Mark discuss why Trump won't admit defeat, liberals being sore winners just like conservatives, Pfizer not trusting Trump with the vaccine, Dave Chappelle on SNL, the future of comedy in Biden's America, and much more. INDULGE! Want an extra episode a week? Join the Flagrant Army www.Patreon.com/FLAGRANT2 Flagrant 2 is a comedy podcast that delivers unfiltered, unapologetic, and unruly hot takes directly to your dome piece. In an era dictated by political correctness, hosts Andrew Schulz and Akaash Singh, along with AlexxMedia and Mark Gagnon, could care less about sensitivities. If it’s funny and flagrant it flies. If you are sensitive this podcast is not for you. But if you miss the days of comedians actually being funny instead of preaching to a choir then welcome to The Flagrancy.

What's up everybody welcome to Flavor 2 It's your boy Schultz, Akash Singh, Alex Media, Mark Gagnon What's up And um Let's get started fellas I got a theory I got a theory As to why Trump

Refuses to acknowledge the L Ooh I have a theory I have a theory. I have a theory. Okay, so I think, and I've asked around, like I asked a bunch of folks in news that I know,

and I tried to get bipartisan support for this, and they were like, look, it doesn't seem like there's anything credible that there's actual voter fraud. There's no question that, yes, people do fraudulent ballots. Right. There's no question,

and I think that happens on both sides. I think it happens every single election. Some old bitch gets the mail-in ballots. Her husband dies. She's like, look, nobody's going to come and check to see if he signed the shit. I'm going to mail it in. That happens.

Does that happen to the tune of 200,000 votes? Very unlikely. So, so far, no credible information to show that there is voter fraud. That being said, Trump is continuing to go, they stole this election, this, that, the other. Here's my theory. In order for Trump to have a career after politics, after being president, the con needs to continue, right trump does is i'm a winner right i think a lot of people are realizing right now like now that trump is lost they're starting to go oh shit the gloss is off the hypnotization is out of here somebody said the right word and

i'm and i'm snapped out like it was cool to watch it happen it's no different than you see in sports you know like there's a lot of la dodger fans such as there weren't a lot of la dodger fans six months ago right you know what i mean so it's like you get on board a thing that has momentum and continues to win you know mark was saying earlier like it happened to him with conor mcgregor conor mcgregor was going to fight mayweather and mark's not like a big boxing fan so he's like he sees conor mcgregor going and knocking all these people out in mma and doing these amazing things in mma and he's like yo i think conor mcregor might do it. Then that eighth round hits.

And then the eighth round hits, and then the reality happens. And then after that, what happens to you? Do you feel a little... Yeah, I started backpedaling. People were like, Mark, didn't you say he was going to win? I was like, me? Nah, no. Like, I always, like, no way.

Of course not. And do you feel like a little bit, like, duped? Are you almost like... Yeah, a little, like... Is it Emperor's New almost like, yeah, a little like, like, yeah. Is it Emperor's New Clothes? Yeah, a little bit. Do you know, do you guys know what that is? The Emperor's New Clothes?

Man, I'd be hearing that shit and kind of half knowing. I think I'm going to half describe it, but it's kind of lit. It's like, it's basically. Let's see if your half matches my half. I bet. No one knows what it is. No, but like, I think this dude who used to make nice ass clothes made the Emperor some clothes, but they weren't even clothes.

It was nothing. He was naked. He was butt ass naked, but he's like, nah, that's the shit. And since he believed in his shit, he was Kanye. It was Kanye with his trash ass everything except music, right?

It's Kanye's new album. Kanye's new album, boom, done. The one thing he usually does well, he couldn't emperor that shit, right? And then the king is walking all around town dick dangling right and then everybody gotta be like no no it's fire it's dope whatever so it's like basically don't believe the hype but you can get caught up in the hype maybe he just has such a big dick you're like

this shit must be fire yo maybe that's it if i was ever walking around naked they'd be like yo this shit sucks bro so it's possible so the reality is you have this situation where maybe you feel a little bit duped by Conor. Yeah. Right. You're like, oh, man, was I lied to? Like, I believed in all this shit.

And I think there are a lot of these like Trump diehards that were seduced by the victory. Right. The constant victories. And maybe now they're starting to see a little bit of that like glossy coating started to fall off. Yeah. Right. Here's the thing.

glossy coating started to fall off. Yeah. Right? Here's the thing. This guy, Trump, needs to be the winner, the constant winner, in order for him to function outside in the regular world. You know, he's not somebody that, like, people love because of his humility. Right.

They love him because he is a winner. And that's the identity he has chosen. I will win. The art of the deal. I get it done. I am victorious. I don't lose. So in order for him to go back out into the world and for him to exist as a successful citizen, he needs to continue this air of austerity, right?

And the only way he can do that after loss is to claim fraudulence with a loss. Right. The only way. So, essentially, he will bring the country closer to tearing itself in half in order to protect his business interests after being president. What happened to America First? Was Trump a big, was that his thing, America First? Actual question. Where the fuck have you been, bro? Trump is Trump First to me.

It's always Trump First. But you're familiar with the saying yeah okay you are i didn't know i didn't know that was his big thing is he the guy always saying that yeah if you're like cab like you like hug the american flag and say like oh i love america but his is america first that's his whole that's like the slogan that's not only make america great again but america first i'm putting america first we're not gonna do we're not gonna let china take over we're gonna get the best targets the best we're gonna make sure sure that these tariffs are evenly displayed on both sides. You know what I mean? So here's the situation where he's looking like he's doing this thing for the best of America. Right now, the best thing for America would be accepting

a legit loss. From what I see, maybe new information comes out and maybe it looks like he didn't actually win. But from what I've seen and from what I've read, there's no fraudulence, extreme fraudulence in terms of stealing an election. I think what he's doing is I think he's trying to protect himself after the presidency. There's one other option that I could also think, which is he's going, I'm going to hold hostage 70 million people. He's going to try, but I think people are going to start to dwindle away. The best analogy I could look for is like, remember how the hyenas were supporting Scar? And then the second Scar gets bodied by Simba, all the hyenas start to consume Simba. I don't think that's the Trump dudes that are on the boat.

I don't think that's the Trump supporters that are on the bridge. But I do think that those are the conservatives that were using trump to get their agendas the marco rubios the rubios mitch mcconnell was brought up earlier by robbie or you said it but it was like all these other conservatives that are like all right this motherfucker can get shit done and he got 70 million people doing whatever we're gonna use his ass to get our agendas pushed through as well we're gonna get a new Supreme Court justice. Trump, I think, just became a fucking Republican. This is a con.

The whole thing is a con. Trump has always been Trump, but he assumed this identity. And then the other Republicans are like, oh, that's our horse? All right, we're going to ride that motherfucker until the wheels fall off. Now the wheels have fallen off, you're going to see those hyenas start to consume. Bye. Adios. I really start, I think it's going to be,

so what's going to be interesting thing that happens is what happens to all these people that like created their identity around him not just athletes not just celebs who have started to kind of identify around it but like real regular folks who really create their identity around trumpism and now they're seeing that fall apart. A little part of me feels for them, man. No, I know. No, no, no. What? What?

Liberals are the worst winners, bro. Y'all are the worst winners, bro. I know, I know. Y'all are the worst winners, man. But it's okay. Here's the thing. This is what liberals do. The liberals are winners, man. But it's okay. It's okay. Here's the thing. The thing is that, like, this is what liberals do. The liberals will be like, we need unity for four years. We need to be together.

We need acceptance. Right? And then the second you win, you're like, now fuck them. We out in the streets. No masks. That's right. That's right. How dare you wear a mask?

Republicans out there partying in Washington Square Park, tongue kissing homeless people. You had Trump rallies all on the same day all over America just for Biden. I know them. And you don't even like Biden. Those are crazy.

A bitch called me a grandma killer walking down the street. No, not even grandma killer. Killer. Me and my girl walking around the street no mask.

Some old white lady with fucking gray hair. Any white lady lets her hair go gray. That's a fucking that's a problem right there. She's going to be a problem bro. White ladies let their hair go gray they have given up on's a problem right there she's gonna be a problem bro white ladies let their hair go gray they have given up on life okay they have one pet that's

it here's the keys baby done that chick is barren and i'm in nobody no kids nobody to take care of yeah she just goes killers literally later that day whoa biden because we weren't wearing masks in public biden wins i guarantee that bitch was in washington square park celebrating point is what i do responsible man yeah what i do is i do feel bad for these people that have been kind of like because what happened is i think trump the reason why he was so exciting is because he picked a lot of targets that a lot of us even on this podcast could agree with right he's going after establishments that like we've been very critical of yeah you know like establishment we've been very critical of. You know, like establishment Democrats

that we're critical of, but also establishment Republicans. Remember when he was doing the Republican primary and he was just calling out all these motherfuckers for not doing anything for years and endless wars and all this other shit. And we're like, yeah, it is kind of fucked up. Yeah.

And then you see him in office and you're like, and you see him have to deal with a real problem like Corona, like a real situation where I don't know who could handle Corona perfectly. That's a tough thing. Don't get me wrong. But like he clearly did not handle it well. Yeah. And you start to go, oh, shit, this might be a little bit of a con.

You know what I thought I had to that point? Go. You read The Godfather. You seen the movies? Yes. Remember the original Consul Gary played by Robert Duvall? I forget his name. You're not a wartime consigliere.

You're not a wartime consigliere. Yeah. That's how I feel about Trump. You're not a wartime president. And I don't mean literal war. I mean, when things are good, you could keep that shit going. Keep it going. But then when you're confronted with some shit, and maybe it's not a reflection to him.

Maybe it's he doesn't have the political experience that another politician might to have this thing prepared and that thing prepared. He was underprepared for Corona. That's just a fact. That's just what it was. Biden, they had a tweet from like a year ago, 2019, saying we're not prepared for a pandemic. I'm not saying Biden would have done a better job. And I don't know that he would have. Who knows? I don't think Trump is a good wartime consulate. Yeah, there's a thing that, you know, yeah, it's very tricky because there are different things that you could potentially do, you know, when it comes to a big problem like this. There are one thing like the laws that you implement, and there's another thing which is the influence that you have and how you use that influence. And it's something we've been talking about, which is he uses influence very poorly.

We're not talking about the decisions that were made, because we don't know what the long-term effects of those are. But the influence, that man's all over the place. And I know it's like, he's joking when he says drink bleach. Well, don't joke. Motherfuckers really want to know what we're supposed to do

with this shit. I think you're hilarious, but I don't want my president to be hilarious. Yeah, no, I want my president to be hilarious. Not when it's a pandemic.

You know what I mean? It's just like, if you want to talk about which team wins the college football championship and you want to give them all fast food inside the White House. Yeah. Hilarious. Yeah. Let's talk about all day. What's up with this pandemic, fam? Yeah. I mean, just give me a straight answer. What we got to do. You're not going to wear the mask. Like, what do you want to do? Yeah. Like what? What the fuck is going on? This is your time to lead. And then.

fuck is going on this is your time to lead and then that monumental failure i think exposed him to a lot of people yeah and i think by that time a lot of people were so dug in on trump it was very hard for them to see objectively like if this is somebody that is um objectively good for leadership and i think and i do feel for those people man because i know what happens to those people if they get teased in this moment right now. Yep. What happens? They're going to dig in further. And that's where the extremist shit starts.

And that's where they start hating you more. Like, this is what liberals never understand. Yep. You help create the extreme Republicans. Yep. You do more harm than good, especially when you're running it up. Fucking, we're having parades, no mask, but you're monsters for going to a Trump rally. You're the same motherfucker.

You're just having a post-victory rally. How is that better? It's like both extremes aid each other. I think we were maybe talking about it. It's a flywheel.

Yeah. Say that again? It's a flywheel, yeah. A flywheel, what's that? Like the one perpetuates the other and they spin and create momentum off each other.

Right. So it's like, is that the shit on the railway where they go like this when you're trying to get away from the train that you just robbed?

I don't think so. You know that in a cartoon when they go like this when you're trying to get away from the train that you just robbed? I don't think so. You know that in a cartoon when they go like this? I know what you're talking about. Also, who puts that there? Why would that ever be there? Imagine your train goes slow because two guys are in the front. Get a motor, bro. Whose idea was that thing?

What a stupid thing. That faster than walking? Really? Why aren't you seesawing that right why are you going all hands yeah you're gonna sit like you've never been to a park see some kids have some fun yeah oh what idiots they made the trains fucking chinese and irish way to go guys okay so but back to what we're saying yeah it's like a flywheel or like i think we said on the patreon it was like the matrix example. Like the more powerful Neo gets, the more powerful Agent Smith gets. Right?

So it's like you have this situation where the right is seeing the left's hypocrisy and now they feel justified in believing almost anything as long as it's pushing back against that left hypocrisy. But also you have to look at this. When the left sees the people on the right creating special tax laws to just help the super rich, now you create this extremism on the left, which is like, nah, we're going to take everybody's money and give it to the people. I don't care. Hey, Jeff Bezos, we're shutting down your whole business. You know what I'm saying? The extremism begets extremism every single time. That's why I don't like the fuck your feelings rhetoric.

You know what I mean? That was big on the right. I think Trump even had like- Shapiro. Shapiro was doing it. Facts, no feelings. Yeah, exactly. was big on the right. I think Trump even had like- Shapiro. Shapiro was doing it. Facts, no feelings. Yeah, exactly. That kind of thing,

but I think Trump even had on- The guy's the most religious person we've ever seen, and he actually goes, facts, no feelings. That's a good point. Facts, no feelings. That's a good point.

What is faith? 40 years in the desert, probably fact. Is faith a fact? People live 30 years long, but no, they probably live about 40 walking around a desert.

That's a fact. What a fucking fraud Ben is, right? Dude, facts, no feelings. Yeah. I mean, there might be a couple feelings in the religious text. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Faith is a feeling. Faith is a feeling.

It's not a fact. Al? A little hypocritical. I'm in agreeance. I'm on board. But I think Trump even did the same shit like i think there were trump campaign posters that said like fuck your feelings on it and i don't know if they were like official or right it's like rhetoric official though it might not be official but that

shit is official i mean because that's the thing is like that whole like fuck your feelings rhetoric is way easier because you don't have to then like care you know what i mean like you can just like write it off and be like oh i don't even have to pay any attention to it or like invest any time. But I don't think it's effective, even if your policy is right. Yeah. Yeah. It's weird. It's like there's a way to say fuck your. No, there's a way to like there's action and belief.

Right. You can act as if fuck your feelings. Yeah. You feel a way you feel a way you feel a way about something. I can act, which is fuck your feelings, which is, yeah, I don't care that you feel that way. Al, you're upset that the Yankees lost? I don't care. I can act that way, but I don't have to go and tell you specifically to take your feelings and go fuck them.

Also, yeah, in personal life, you can do whatever. You can be all fuck your feelings in your regular life. When you're the president, I don't think you can be fuck your feelings all the time. If you're a political party. You can and you can't, right? Because the tricky thing about being president is, yes, you have to be everybody's president. That's your motherfucking job, is to be everybody's president.

And he did a bad job of doing that. Without doubt. He pretty intentionally didn't do that. He didn't even try. Didn't even try. Now, nobody really tries. I think Obama actually tried, but I think he tried. I think race had a lot to do with him trying.

I think that he was specifically going, hey, I need to make an effort to show that I'm everybody's president. If I lean to black, people are going to go, ah, see, he's just doing the black stuff. But, like, and maybe, like, wartime presidents become everybody's presence because everybody's on the same side yeah like we're all on the same side i could be everybody's president exactly yeah you know what i mean but in terms of like the average president you probably are just serving your folks like maybe reagan was probably just serving his people maybe clinton was everybody's i mean the economy was good yeah was that really all it takes? Does it take a good economy and then all of a sudden you're everybody's president?

I think Trump, to a degree, like I think Trump was going to run away with this election before Corona and the impact on the economy. People, I think, vote based on how well they're doing with this president in office. And I don't know how else you can really do it. Like, are we all really going to follow politics? I didn't know shit about politics

and this exposed it to me. I was like each state gets two senators that's it that's wild so we were just talking about this robbie said something funny he's like he's like uh you know we're the most politically engaged that we've ever been and we regret it he goes he goes why do i know who the secretary of education is bro that's too much i've never known who the fuck that is and there might be that overload that we're feeling right now yeah how politically engaged we are like have you ever had like a friend of yours that's really into politics do you have any friends that are really into politics robbie's probably as close as i get outside and robbie's a comedian so it's like yeah he's curious about it but there's also like bits that are coming out of

it right like people who are not creatives that are really into politics, these are the most stressed out people you ever meet in your entire life. Too much, yo. You know what I'm saying? You meet, you talk to these folks, you're like,

yo, calm down, bro. Unplug yourself. It's QAnon. You know what I'm saying? We don't have the delegates for the thing and we can't even sign off on it. It's like, no one cares.

I don't know what a delegate is, bro. We don't know what any of these fucking things are. Unplug yourself yourself it's too much stress it's sports like the way people root for it but imagine if the the cowboys performance impacted me directly you know how fucking stressed i would be it's gambling it's gambling on sports oh imagine every game actually affected your bottom line these motherfuckers that work for the political parties are like yo if blue is out i'm, I'm out of a job. Yo. Yo, if I like this parlay,

if Democrats don't like this parlay, it's a wrap for me. Yeah. So I do think that for the average American that all of a sudden got like super involved, and I don't think we got involved because we were actually interested. I think we got involved because polarization, right?

Like we both sides hated the other so much that they wanted evidence to justify the hate. You see what I'm saying? Oh, I hate Trump so much. I'm going to find out who the secretary of education is and find out what her principles are and how fucked up that is so I could use it as a haymaker against Trump. When if you had an average kind of moderate president, I guarantee you with Biden, I'm not going to know a single person in the cabinet. I already gave up caring. I ain't going to know anybody.

I barely know. Come on. That is one thing, though, that Trump, all the people he picked, he was just picking stars. You know what I mean? He was just throwing people in the cabinet that people knew. You know what I mean? He threw Omarosa in there for a little bit. She was in the cabinet?

Wasn't she? No. Who the fuck is Omarosa? That sounds like a video of her. She wasn't in the cabinet. I think she was part of his staff. A staff or something? Yeah, but she wasn't secretary of defense. I think she was part of his staff. Oh, his staff or something? Yeah, but she wasn't like Secretary of Defense.

Oh, yeah, maybe. I would put a black bitch in there. Secretary of Defense. Let's be honest, bro. No, Afghanistan, no. Putin with the trifling ass. You were just throwing that people in there that we knew. Go on.

He was just putting people in there that people knew, though. You know what I mean? The reason we know them is because it's like his kids or whatever. I don't know who Betsy DeVos is, bro. Let's be honest.

We don't know these motherfuckers. I think part of it, maybe part of it is that they were famous within their industries. I think he did put a lot of heads of industry

in power positions. Yeah. He put a lot of people that was running against him. Interesting. He kind of just took all the losers. Ben Carson. Chris Christie got a spot. And he was that was running against him interesting like and you know why that's kind of interesting is you don't have to feel you don't have to look at them as threats ah i think if you're concerned that like other people will get some sort of uh notoriety around you and that makes you insecure as if you could lose your spotlight because of it,

you're not going to put motherfuckers around you that you haven't already beaten. You don't want the toughest of competition. I also don't think it's that uncommon, though. I think Biden's pulling like... I guess Barack did that with Hillary, right? Secretary of State? Yeah. I think that's a little bit what the parties do. You lose in the Democratic primary.

We're going to take care of you. They just scoop you up. I'm pretty sure Buttigieg is an argument. It's a smart move because it like unifies everybody. That's right. You're familiar with these people. Like say if you're a Bernie's guy and now if Biden gives Bernie a position somewhere, whatever the case is. Right.

And it kind of unifies the party because it throws a bone to all the people that support a Buttigieg or Bernie, whoever these people are. It is different with Trump though because of how wild he was during the primaries calling everyone names and little Marco Rubio and all that shit but nah

but fucking right now Kamala basically called Biden for sexual harassment so that's the other thing that's interesting is like

they asked Kamala they're like yo do you believe Biden is an accuser and she was like yeah I mean not that much. You don't believe what I'm saying?

I believe she's lying. I believe she's a lying ass bitch. I believe she's a lying ass bitch. Yeah, that's what I meant. You didn't let me finish my sentence. These sluts is out there. I'm trying to lock them up. It's not often you see everybody's price.

Like you see a person's price right in front of your face. We saw her price. Vice presidency, rape is fine. What does that say about us? Like what does that say about the average American? Because I don't think anybody was voting for Biden. It's fair to say that, right? Right.

There are very few people. He's a likable guy, but I'm not passionate about Biden. Do you think it's fair to say this about that he's a decent guy? Decent. He comes across as decent guy. Decent. He comes across as decent, right? And it's like, and I don't know if this is a reflection of like Trump being like such a wild boy that we want to something calm. But I think there was something about him where it's like there was the thing where

he was like kissing a retard. Yeah. He thought about that. And that she was touching and like, and I think even with like the sniffing a kid stuff, I really think that he's just this kind of grandpa. Yeah. Like, I don't think that he's creepy with kids. It looks creepy as fuck when you just put all the videos together.

Don't get me wrong. And it's like, low key, I'm just like, you don't got to sniff my kid or whatever. But I think if you know him well, you're probably going, nah, he's just a grandpa. This guy's 80 fucking years old. Losing his mind. Yeah. Even if he's losing his mind, I just think, whatever, there's a decency to I just think, whatever, there's, like, a decency to him. Right?

I don't know why we got a decency to him. What was it? Kamala's price. Talking about everybody's price. Yeah. So what is America's price? So, like, it was a rejection. So I think a lot of this was a rejection of, like, or not even a rejection, like, a reflection of, like, what we actually wanted.

Right. Right? And it's just, like, maybe we kind of wanted, like a reflection of like what we actually wanted. Right. Right. And it's just like, maybe we kind of wanted like a return to homeostasis. Like we could act, most Americans could go out there and act like, yeah, we want to fight the power.

And yeah, we're tired of these establishment Republicans and Democrats. Cause Trump was real outsider, right? With the Bushes and the Clintons and the Obamas and all the, the deep state controlling all this shit. And I think a lot of Americans have four years of the deep state, under quotes, not controlling shit.

And they saw the type of division that was stoked because of it. And they're like, man, deep state kind of lit, bro. I like what they were doing these last few hundred years, man. I wonder if it's like finding out that America's actually kind of fucked up in geopolitical sense. You know what I mean? You like to believe that America's the best, so we're the like geopolitical sense. You know what I mean? Like you like to believe that America's like the best. So we're like the good guys.

We're always on the right side of every dispute. And then you find out we're like bankrupting countries. Yeah. Like Nicaraguan Revolution and like some coup d'etats here and there. You're like, why'd you even tell me that? Maybe it's not perfect. And it's like that where it's like we're all super politically activated. And then as soon as we're all like in have our hands in the politics, we're like,

I just want to go back to liking my grandparents. Wait, parents is bliss. We're Joey Pants and the Matrix, buddy. Take me to a steakhouse, buy my vote, y'all. I fucking regret taking this red pill. We all got red, we all got red pilled and now we regret it. Trump is the red pill, yo.

Interesting, bro. And you know what we talked about on Patreon. Sorry, sorry, just on that real quick, just on that point, is that like, it is interesting, the reason Trump was able to come to power i think is because so many people felt like their lives were awful yeah right and they're like it can't get worse than where we're at right now and i think judging by the votes more people went i guess he can't right you can't.

Right? You can't deny. Don't get me wrong. 70 million supported him. There's no question. It's the most votes of a sitting president ever. Yeah. But 85, 90 or something like that?

I think it was 90. 85 million? Maybe almost 90 million? We're like, nah, we're not running this shit back. The most popular votes ever. Most popular votes ever. Yeah. For both candidates, though. I think if Trump won, he would have had the most ever also. Yeah popular votes ever for both candidates I think if Trump won

he would have had the most yeah he would have you were saying before I cut you we talked about this on the Patreon but the thing that lost Trump the vote

because he gained pretty much everywhere else every other demographic but white people I think specifically white suburban people were done and why do you move out

to the suburbs yeah stability quiet peace calm stop shaking shit up I'm done being in a city

I just want calmness i think four years of trump they were like yo i'm out i think what it was is and i wonder if maybe we had this conversation on on patreon but you know we've been very critical of like democratic strategy right yes we've come on this podcast and we've said these guys are fucking idiots they can't get a candidate they can't get anything through they can't do anything they got these four chicks the squad out here yapping about taking millions of dollars away from people and not letting amazon go around alex you okay everything good over there you look concerned i thought we lost the card it doesn't matter uh so listen we just had to replug everything

in i'm on edge okay democratic strategy democratic strategy right So for, what was the point I was trying to make? Maybe we said this on the Patreon, but I think some of the white suburban people. Ah, yeah, yeah. So we talk about Democratic strategies as absolutely abysmal. They can't get a decent candidate. They don't really stand for anything. What the hell is going on in the world, right? If their strategy was to make being a trump supporter so fucking radioactive

that the average suburbanite moderate right the person who's not that politically engaged we're not talking about the people who are going to take down of arizona right we're talking about the moderate the person in that cul-de-sac. The moderate is going, I can't take this stress. I just want an easy life. I got tennis practice with friends. I got to whisper about my political conversations. I'm not having any political talks with my black friends because they think that I'm a closet Trump supporter. I'm doing, like, if that stress was too high for them because their life is going to be good no matter what, they're not the coal miner.

They're not the fracker right they're not the person who has a farming job that might be going away because we're buying you know soybeans whatever the fuck from other countries the moderate that voted for trump before because of the culture war right the vote of the moderate that's doing okay that was like i just don't want you to tell me what words i can or can't say democrats fuck you i'm gonna vote for the Trump guy. Their life got too fucking hot. And when it got too fucking hot, they were like, I can't take this shit anymore. And that's who lost because he went up in all minorities.

All minorities were like, nah, this guy kind of popping. I mean, he hates me. But a lot of people hate me be honest about it nah I don't think you think Trump hates minorities no I don't think Trump hates anybody

I think he does play on that to get a certain fan base and again I don't think every Trump supporter is a racist I don't

that's idiotic I will say if you're racist you're probably not voting for Biden and Kamala that's an interesting point old Biden you'd be like

that's my guy old Kamala even lock them blacks up I'm pretty sure that Richard Spencer he like

I don't know if it's like a publicity stunt or what the purpose of it was but he like publicly advocated for Biden that little bitch just wants attention

yeah I think he probably did that too that little bitch just wants attention man but all these people were like oh no richard spencer said it so that means biden's the real racist i'm like all right also that could be like uh that must be him doing like a public i think it was a strategy move also also strategy like make biden look radioactive yeah exactly yeah real talk my take on it i really think um he lost the election to the infection and the divisiveness that was the election to the infection and the divisiveness

that was going on in the country and the divisiveness was heightened yeah by not the the coronavirus but by the reaction to the virus having everybody at home not able to go to work no distraction while we're all at home george floyd is while we're at home right we have literally nothing to do so we start getting more politically active because yo give me something to root for yeah this virus fucked them up but how interesting is it is it's not the actual death toll i don't think it is it's the downtime human circumstances the circumstances that human beings we are not built for downtime no we are it's like that's why motherfuckers got to meditate dude yeah i mean like you can't you should be able to just sit down and relax but that's so hard for humans that we got to go just focus on your breathing

why why can't i just sit down because our brains will go to a million different other places even sitting there focusing on your breathing you get distracted yeah this brain is not meant to relax people spend hundreds of dollars going to a fucking retreat a quiet retreat to not talk yeah so you're gonna spending money to not talk. Not be entertained. I just get married. This is easy, bro. Just get married.

It's very simple. Get in one fight, you won't want to talk for the whole night. No, I'm in my head about what I would say. Close that fridge loud. See what the fuck happened. You know what I'm saying? It's going down. I'm not playing, bro.

I've spent tens of thousands Of dollars Just to shut my mind off It don't work Yeah Nothing It keeps going This shit is dangerous yo Even when you go to sleep

Dreaming Dreaming You can't shut This motherfucker Don't quiet down ever Isn't that the worst When you wake up After a stressful night

Of sleeping And you're like Come home bro Even in my sleep What the fuck is going on Out here in my sleep bro Dude maybe that's going on out here in my sleep, bro? Dude, maybe that's why girls get upset at us. Like when we cheat on them in their dreams.

Because it's like, they already got to worry about us cheating on them in their dreams. They don't get no respite from that at all. Finally, after a long day of thinking about why we out there dicking down bitches, they go to sleep and what are we doing? Dicking down bitches. Oh, fuck y'all.

Bro, I almost got caught. I almost got caught in my dream. Cheating. I almost got caught in my dream. All right, guys. We're going to take a break for a second because I need to get y'all some food at a discount. Simple as that. Okay.

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How could you not do it? Just go put it on your phone right now. When you remember the next time you're going to get some food, you go use that free money, and then you say you're welcome. Okay? So you just need DoorDash. DoorDash app. You go download it.

Use the promo code FLAGRANT. You're're gonna get that money don't forget flagrant get that five dollars off let's get back to the show bro i almost got caught i almost got caught in my You were like, Alex! Basically. That was off the pot. I don't know. I might have to massage this part of how I say it. But basically, I woke up. And the dream was weird because I dreamed that I was with someone else. But I cheated on my wife with my current wife.

So you were married to someone else. Yeah. But you cheated on them with your wife with my girl yeah that's the gang it's my dream it's my dream so this is what's fucked up this is the fucked up part As I woke up I told her that

I was like Isn't that a weird dream She goes Oh yeah it is weird Did you like it Like was it hot I was like Wait was what part hot

Cheating hot So I was So she's basically Trying to be like No you set up either way You can't answer that Yeah So I got

God She was like Alright so Like if I say yes Then cheating's hot And if I say yes, then cheating's hot. And if I say no, then being with her wasn't hot. Yeah. Yeah.

So I just went back to sleep. That's the right way to do it. I'm still sleeping now. Good night. I'm sleepwalking. I don't know what's happening. You got to be like, yo, I just. Hold on.

You woke your girl up to talk about cheating in the night? That's a long one. Yo, wake up. I had a bad dream. Hey, babe. Babe. cheating in the night no i've never woken her up that's the i don't know if she sleeps because she's just always awake you remember when my girl said that shit to me babe wake up and help me sleep that's crazy ass chick bro she said some crazy shit to me this week bro we're talking about like we were watching there's some like chess movie on Netflix, a new series. Some chick is good at chess.

Queen's Gambit. Queen's. You've seen that shit? No. Bro. Absolutely not. What? This fucking nerd over here.

This fucking nerd. First of all, you know what's fucked up? I was going to give y'all that alley-oop later to do it, right? I was going to give you guys the alley-oop to do it later. Y'all really fucked up your opportunity. Just call them how much of a dork he is. Here's the thing. I can't even allow it to happen.

This is how upset I am. This is how upset I am. This is how upset I am. We're doing this shit the other day. How bad you lost that chess game? This was really good. This was so happy. We're doing this shit the other day. How bad you lost that chess game. This is really good. This is really good. Just calm down, bro.

Don't pull out a lightsaber on us right now. We're doing this shit the other day, right? I'm here, yo. I got you. I'm here. You dropped your retainers, though. We got to stop the podcast. Hold on.

I'm just going to get nerd over here. So I was going to give them the perfect opportunity to do this game. I think they found it anyway. They did find it anyway but they don't realize I had this shit set up a day in advance. I tweeted yesterday

about the Avengers how the timeline don't make any sense in Avengers and I'm starting out this Avengers conversation and I'm about to have that conversation on the pod

which is the alley-oop for them to just hammer me for this nerd shit. Mark wasn't allowed to watch movies when he was younger. So we make fun of him all the time for not watching movies. So he's tried to create a way where he could make us look like nerds for watching movies. So we're talking

about Batman, and he's just sitting there like an idiot because he doesn't know what Batman is. He has no clue what it is. And he goes, you got fucking dorks. Look at you. And it's way funnier to to know about that it's so funny and it's so funny and then somehow when all of us are into marvel movies i just became the one that's into it yeah right i was like yeah what are you watching marvel said he watches fucking marvel three once a, you say you watch Endgame or some shit. I'll jump shit real quick. You jump immediately.

He's a full Kamala on that shit. He's a racist. He's a dweeb. Look at that fucking nerd over there. Hiding his comic books in his bed.

He's a leanest Netflix cute. Oh, shit. Fucking loser. So, but y'all jumped too fucking quick, man. No, we'll bring it back. Don't worry. Anyway, Queens handed. Did y'all watch Queens fucking quick man nah we'll bring it back don't worry

anyway Queen's Candidate did y'all watch Queen's you watch it nah I did not anyway we started watching this shit it's probably on my schedule of things to do

you gotta watch it I have to do it when I get home it looked pretty good it's probably a homework assignment I got so you got so we go watch this

we start watching this thing and the girl's a redhead right yeah and my girl started telling me how about she was in some other movie and then she was blonde and she was like

way prettier than I was and I was like yo be honest. If we knew we were going to have a redheaded kid, would you abort it? Just joking, right? I'm joking. Listen, gingers. Guys, that's crazy.

Yeah. Come on. Is that why, Al? Is that why you got these redheaded chicks pregnant? Son, you got your little Blake Griffiths walking around? You fucking half-blood-ass motherfucker. I'm here ice cream. Scooping out Sansa Starks for the last fucking five years of his life.

Anyway, so we're in there. And I'm like, no, I'm just joking. Obviously, you don't do that. And redheads, don't be all fucking upset about this. Go back in your fucking caves. You're monsters. So we would. The would uh with caves the only places they can exist so yo that's why it's sunless bro you abort all of them no sons you know what i mean it's okay fucking nerd

look so look don't let anybody shame you for joy bro motherfuckers out here shaming people for joy stop having so much fun so um so listen so we're talking about that we're like we're not no no we'd obviously never do that whatever and then she goes like this to me she says says this to me, right? She goes like, if we had a daughter, how would you feel about her getting a nose job? Oh. Oh. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

Oh, why you impersonate the Jewish guy the before that when you did that? Why you say, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa? Why you say that like I didn't pick up on it? Yo, that's fucked up. I didn't say it, too, bro. How do you hate Muslims and Jews, bro? that like I didn't pick up on it yo that's fucked up how do you hate Muslims and Jews bro no I don't

come on dude which side are you on I love Sacha Baron Cohen bro best comic in the 20th century anyway what century right

so he goes your girl is wild yo so so at first I know right at first I'm going on long with it

I'm like I'm like nah I mean like, nah. I mean, we got to make sure our daughters love ourselves, and she got to love herself no matter what. You know what I mean? And if after she loves herself, and I'm like, are you saying that my nose is going to come out of that fucking daughter?

God don't do that. That being said, when the head does crown, I'm going to be looking for that nose to fill up like a parachute just when it pops out like an umbrella exactly you gotta be careful dude that shit's gonna be like a fucking titanic going through some icebergs and shit so I'm like part of me it's a real question I gotta consider because obviously when we pick our significant others like I'm sizing my girl up. You know what I mean?

I'm seeing her work out and stuff like that. I'm seeing her athletic ability, her balance and shit. And I'm just like, all right, we can create a nice little two guard out of us. You know what I'm saying? We got a least point guard, maybe two guard. You know what I mean? Feet are right. Maybe we get into the three.

She's got great posture. You know what I mean? Good ball handling abilities. You know what I mean? Good ball handling abilities. You know what I'm saying? We might be all right. But she's looking at me like we're about to have a pterodactyl as a kid and she wants to chop off the nose.

You got the wings clipped. You got to clip the wings. That's a little crazy. Is that crazy though? I'm surprised you didn't go over the top though. Nah, I didn't. Nah, you did. I haven't spent didn't go over the top though. Nah. I didn't. Nah, you did. I know you did.

I haven't spent enough time with her last few weeks. I wasn't in a position of power, guys. I just had to go with that. All right. I just tucked myself into my nose like a fucking North Face toe pocket. Like an armadillo to yourself. But in all seriousness, would you allow your kid to get plastic surgery? I started to really consider this thought.

Like with the braces, like while they're young? Or what do you mean? What are you talking about braces, Mark? Like braces are basically plastic surgery. You just make your teeth a little nicer. And while you're doing that. It's not surgical though. I don't think you understand what surgery is. Bro, what is surgery?

If you get your back fixed, if you have like... Yeah, they make an incision in your spine and then they go invasively and they do such a shit. And when you take out teeth, you got to make an incision. You don't always take out teeth. You don't take out teeth. Sometimes, bro. I'm talking like braces.

It's just cosmetic. So you go in with the braces. I know. Braces is the best argument for it. And then you go in and get the nose done while you're doing it. But you know the difference between the two. Yeah. That's my point.

Like while you're getting the braces done, get the nose done too. Yeah. My feeling is this. I think as a girl, there's two ways to look at it. I don't think I'd be cool with a guy, my son, getting any sort of plastic surgery. I know where you're going and I like this. Go ahead. Wait, are we on the same page?

I think so. Okay. I wouldn't want my daughter getting plastered because anything that she was going to change to make her life more convenient, you know what I mean? Like being beautiful is a convenience in life, right? So if I can make your life more convenient, sure. But I don't want to set up a system where you think that your body is wrong. Yeah.

If you embrace yourself, you love yourself, you can joke around about all these things and then you get a nose job and then all of a sudden it's like you're next level and life is more convenient for you, go for it. If we have the technology,

you should be allowed to like exist and I guess in money, you're about to exist in whatever form is most convenient, right? But dude, no. I want you to be inspired to like succeed succeed i don't want you to get by on your looks as like a dude also like dudes with small noses i think are gay as fuck i honestly oh yeah i honestly think yo real talk you would figure out why i was like what an odd opinion to

have i started thinking about this like a dude with a little button nose? Probably gay, bro. A little nose? Name one great man with a little nose, bro. Every president, big nose. Every great leader in the world, big nose. I don't know anyone with a little nose. I just know normal noses and yours. Take out a five, take out a 10, take out a 20, okay? Reason they didn't put Harriet Tubman on bill

because that nose ain't big enough. What's a dude with a little nose? Exactly. You don't even remember them. You don't remember that. There's regular noses and then big noses. Big nose. You need that big nose energy.

You need that big nose energy, bro. You probably got a lot of energy because every inhale is just so much oxygen. Exactly. You got to take the oxygen out the room. When I walk in a room, ain't a lot of oxygen in here. Took my breath away, bro. Real talk. That's what I do.

I like how you try to rebrand big noses to a good thing. They've been branded like this. I like it. I like it. Can you do that with little dick? Check this out. I like that energy. Check this out.

I do like that energy. The Greeks did this with dicks, right? They had these little ass dicks, right? And then all of a sudden, they were like, big dicks are whack. And that's why they started cutting dicks off of statues, all that kind of shit, right? They never did that with noses. They never did that with noses. They never did that with noses. Didn't they cut off the noses?

Yo, do you think Moses' real name was noses? Didn't they cut off the noses and the finks and shit like that? Do you think Moses' real name might have been noses, bro? Real talk. Think about that. Him out there just sniffing the homeland and the desert for 40 years. Hey, they are the chosen people. They are the nosing ones.

And what did God choose to give them? The nosing ones, bro. The people. They are the nosing ones. And what did God choose to give them? The nosing ones, bro. They're the nosing ones. The nosing people. The nosing people. Yeah, and there's actually nose discrimination, like Al brought up. Is that they go up to all these statues and chip away the nose. Yeah.

They don't chip away the nose. The Sphinx? In ancient Egypt. What happened to it? Sphinx with a lion. It's got a human face. It's got a nose. Nah? Sphinx with a lion. It's got a human face. It's got a nose. Nah, it was a lion.

Nah, but Napoleon did that shit, right? Because he was insecure about his big ass nose. You can't just leave it like that because it wasn't. It's a lion, bro. I don't know what else to tell you.

If you guys don't know the history, you don't know history. It's a lion, bro. That was Napoleon that his soldier shot that shit off though, right? Napoleon probably did that. Yeah.

Because he had the big ass nose. Because he had a big ass nose. He had a big ass nose it's about the same size too yeah ow you don't got small nostrils bro son no you got some big you can't you can't talk about black nose napple bottles dude you could put you can't talk about black nose in your fucking nostrils oh you said i have a wide nose is that what you say actually kind of have a wide nose big noses can talk about big noses, bro. That's what it is, dog. That's what it is, bro. You call him nosy? You call him the N-word?

Wow. Literally? Wow, you call me the N-word. Don't breathe out your nose, bro. Look at them nostrils talk. Real talk. Literally, look at them fucking knives. Is that how you get knives in the club?

Man, this dork's mad that he got a big nose. Now he wants everybody to have a big nose. Mark, shut up. Mark, shut up. He's got a fucking forehead. The chest club. Remember during filming the other day, right? This is how big the front of Mark's head is.

During filming the other day, this guy bumped into some shit, moved the whole fucking light halfway across the room. There are 20 people in the room watching him slam his head into this thing. This guy didn't realize for three minutes that he moved the whole shit. Literally, I had to tell him, take off his hat. I said, take off the hat because you're not going to feel it enough.

Do you remember when you did that? Big head energy, dog. Imagine the amount of Vaseline they got to use. I guess so, bro. Read less. Imagine the amount of Vaseline they got to use on his forehead if he boxed it. Just dump that shit out. Before the fight, they just like, oh, fuck.

Are you taking that painted shit you do on the walls and just roll it? They just roll it with Vaseline. It's like a fucking swirly, dude. They just dunk your head in, pull you out. All right, get in there, champ. Bob a weave, baby. It's a big target. We need to have bangs for you, bro.

Oh, yeah. We need to cut your hair and have bangs, dude. You think I can bounce it out? You can lock that whole shit. Yeah, maybe. Like a Zooey Deschanel? I don't know, dog. Stop looking at it.

No, because you don't have a big forehead. It just comes forward a lot. Yeah. It's protruding. Yeah, a protruding forehead. Yeah, it's like an awning a little yeah you got a little i look like a bodega and fucking casablanca or some shit look like aladdin could fall through me and be safe yeah real talk all right does everybody feel worse about themselves let's keep it moving Real talk Alright

Does everybody feel worse about themselves? Let's keep it moving Okay so what else we got today guys? What else is going on? R.I.P. Alex Trebek the GOAT Yo why was that so sad? I was like low key emotional man There was this Indian dude that was on Jeopardy

I posted this video This Indian dude's on Jeopardy And he's like yo because his reaction I've watched him watch the video that shit got me choked up bro and he was trying to play it off like he wasn't feeling it

seriously man let me watch this because I had a different reaction let me see if I'm missing something I saw it with no sound let me see what's up I just hate any other Indian on TV that's not him

fuck that yo who books Jeopardy who books this thing this is a fucking bullshit show fuck that yo hey that's my credit oh they're all Indian? oh my god

yo where's Trump when you need him bro you know make Jeopardy great again can you turn that volumen up a little that's not the one dude that's the one it's not the one that's the one i saw it's the one that's not bro groove you're smiling this is not the one dog let's take

a look at your response did you come up with the right one no what it is we love you out that's very kind thank you cost you95 You're left with $5 Okay You got choked Choked up Alex's reaction Made me a little emotional

But what bothered me Is this Indian That's not it though That's not it Can we get the right video Can we get the right video Yeah he's getting fake news Right now

And he's not happy But That's not the video So that's the one That made me sad I did get sad at that one When I initially watched it Like a year ago.

You got to go. This is it right here. You got to go to his Twitter. Any family members back home cheering for him? Okay, let me see. You know, here's a true story, man. Oh, this one's good. I learned English because of you.

And so my grandfather, who raised me, I'm going to get tears right now. I used to sit on his lap and watch you every day. So it's a pretty special moment for me man thank you very much oh wow oh wow that one got me that one was good yo andrew's watching this thing yesterday i hear the audio i'm like oh man that's kind of sad and then he like pretends to not be like kind of crying a little bit he just looks up he's like man that's really sad dude he was like mad it's like fuck dude man yeah it's really fucked up these i've been touching my emotions bro i let them tears out dude i'm a crier my guy yeah bro crying is beautiful man

i don't know why i'm so sad about that shit there's something about that guy he's just pure he's an icon he's pure he's calming There was something about his presence that was so calming. Yeah. He was just a guy that was there. It's like you lost a piece of your childhood a little bit. Even if you didn't watch the show, you knew it was on. You knew who was hosting. You knew he was mad calming.

Seemed like a sweet guy. Always there. He did that for like 30-something years, 36 years. Yeah. Yeah. He's not like some Mr. Rodney shit. Imagine just like killing that one thing for like that long a period of time and like everybody respects you for it

like it's a dope feeling yo you know who should take his place hit it hit it mark because he's full of useless information too but by the end everyone's happy that's the idea right you can literally do that shit mark real talk, me and all my Indians hanging out? Yeah. That'd be a great time. Hey, chill, chill, chill. Our information is useful. Bro, all these Indians love Alex Trebek. That's what bothers me about this kid is you wrong. Don't try to act like, hey, let me get some sympathy points when you wrong.

You lost, motherfucker. That's what bugged me. Don't act like I didn't notice that you lost, Indian. This guy doing it after the intermission, it's anybody's game. Yeah. He having a real moment. This motherfucker trying to cover for the fact they lost with a stupid-ass bow tie. Threw a question away.

Could have got it right. Didn't even try. He was like a zany local newscaster. Get out of here. He knew that he was never going to win, right? He knew he wasn't going to win. So, man, let me get some points off of this. Fuck you.

You lost, yo. This guy real. This crying-ass Indian about his grandfather, that's a real story. Damn, bro. You harsh, bro. I don't like this shit. I paid $19.95 to say he loved Alex Rebeck. I've been watching Jeopardy the last couple weeks harsh i don't like this i paid 1995 to say you love alex rebeck i've been watching jeopardy the last couple weeks i don't know why had been it's on netflix i'm a

dork on netflix yeah you chose to stream it yeah i've been streaming it yo binging it's crazy yo watch the chess gambit or whatever that show is what is it called i don't i don't want to see women winning on Netflix. You know what I mean? Does she win? I'm sure she does. Spoiler. I don't know.

She's in a dungeon with this old guy. That's the part I got up to. And I started beating my... I remember the days when this used to be a podcast where we talked about sports and like man shit. Now we got two fucking dorks over here. Don't blame it on therapy. Come on, son. I'm gay now.

Go home and watch Rewinds of Jeopardy. Are you watching Rewinds just so you can get the questions right because you ain't gonna write the first one? Low key, I haven't gotten that far yet, but I'm excited to know some answers. Yeah, you're not gonna take this

bullying from Al, bro. Why's that? I don't gotten that for you, but I'm excited to. I'm excited to know some answers. Yeah, you're not going to take this bullying from Al, bro. Why's that? I don't know yet. I'm going to figure it out. I'm going to figure what angle I'm about to go in on that. But I'm not sure yet. I see two nuclear keys. Shut up, Mark.

Two nuclear keys, baby. Shut your mouth. He's about to turn the nukes on. Oh, yeah, no nukes is coming out, Mark. The nukes is coming maybe for both of you. I was about to gas you up. No, you're not gassing nothing up You sit right the fuck there

90s out that's what he does he bullies Keys in the ignition baby This is crazy He's mad nervous He's mad nervous He's mad nervous He's coming It's cooking up

It's coming up 9 8 He's coming. He's fucking coming. It's cooking up. Incoming, baby. It's coming up. In 10. Son. Nine. Yo. Eight. Can we talk about the real Ben Carson? No.

Who's the real Ben Carson? No. The one that I know. That guy that you got wrong. Herman King. That guy. The guy that got dead. So now the real Ben Carson got it.

What do you mean? He got Corona. No, he didn't. Yeah. He did. Yeah. Ben Carson got Corona. They tried to take out the whole Trump staff.

2% of black people in the Trump staff. Yeah, they got Tom, whatever the motherfucker's name is, head of staff. Fat ass Chris Christie got the, he survived, but. Oh, did you all see the, what's it called, Chappelle thing? All right, guys, let's take a break right now because we need to save you some money. And as always, the Indian is the guy to do it. One easy way to save money, home and auto insurance. It's super confusing to shop on your

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you're a homeowner, go to policygenius.com right now. Get started. They save their customers an average of $1,000 per year. Why wouldn't you make that one of you? Policygenius, when it comes to insurance, you got to get it right. And, guys, we got some show announcements. I am at Atlantic City Comedy Club this Thursday, November 12th. People are already buying tickets.

I'm getting the screenshots. But if you buy now and use the promo code flagrant, you get 20% off your purchase. You're welcome. Obviously, I'm going to save you guys money because I love you. On top of that, I'm going to be at the Comedy Connection in Providence, Rhode Island, December 12th and 13th. I know we were getting some messages that the ticket link isn't live. I'm on their ass. It should be live by the time this episode is up.

So, guys, go to akashsingh.com. Ticket links will be there. Bring your ass to the show. Now, let's get back to the show. Oh, did you all see the, what's it called, Chappelle thing? Yes, I did. What'd you think? I just saw clips.

You know what the most interesting part was? I tweeted this. That's rough. When it starts with an exhale. It was good. It wasn't, I mean, it's Chappelle, so he's on a different level. And it was fine. Keep it a buck.

It was fine. It was fine. It was fine. It's not what Chappelle normally does. Yeah. I left watching it and I'm like, the goat trophy is up for grabs. Really? Yeah.

He's not into his own choice. Yes. I will say that he's not into comedy anymore. Like he's not trying to do, and even said, there's a line where he resents the fact that to say what he wants to say, he has to put a punchline at the end.

You remember that? Yes. I feel like he resents, like, I'm the fucking smartest person in here. I'm the best speaker, like you said, maybe the best public speaker in American history,

and to get you fucking morons to listen, A storyteller, yeah. Yeah, I have to put a punchline at the end of everything to hold your attention. It's actually not true, though, because he didn't have any punchlines in the thing that he put on youtube and i think that was the first step of like i'm kind of done with this but i've been saying this about chappelle for years though

that like i think that he has like ascended past stand-up like you can just talk like you're smart enough where you can just talk and we will listen and he's so profound like i was watching little uh clips from the episode of like uh david letterman that he did yeah his new show whatever like that and uh he's just such an engaging speaker like even his joke about uh chris christie getting it was said it was something common i'm sure we joked around on the pod about it but like he can get all the juice about out of the orange. He can say, even if he has a generic joke, he will get the most

juice out of that joke. It's like Freddie Mercury getting AIDS in the 70s or whatever. We all knew how he got it. Keep going. He has all the... Nobody looked at Freddie Mercury getting AIDS and was like, I wonder how that happened. I'm surprised. And then he had a fucking... I thought you were saying

that's what Chappelle is like. No, that's what Chappelle said about. No, that's what Chappelle said. Hilarious. I only saw the part about the fixings. He goes, that's everything Corona eats. He got all the fixings.

Right. Like this is just, so he's so skilled. He's so brilliant. He's so skilled. But I think he is transcending the art. Yeah. And I also think, and it may be where he feels transcending the art. Yeah. And I also think,

and it may be where he feels like his importance lies. Like maybe he feels like I can make an effect on this world better if I'm not hindered by having to do punchlines. Selfishly, I wish he wouldn't. Selfishly, I want him in the game. Selfishly,

I want the best guy in the game. If I'm in the game. Maybe that's what I feel. Yeah. Selfishly, I want that. I'm disappointed that he's I'm in the game. Maybe that's what I feel, yeah. Selfishly, I want that. I'm disappointed that he's just not like. Yeah, I want you flamethrower, special after special. Like when I see Burr do that shit on SNL and I'm hungry for the next special, I'm like, yo, where's the bar at, bro?

Yeah. Where the fuck is the bar at? Because if Chappelle is doing Chappelle-esque like talks are brilliant, but also have a couple punchlines. As brilliant as they are, I'm like, I'm not competing with that stand-up-wise. That's not the thing that makes me, because I don't want to do that at this point in my life. You know what I'm saying? But I know how great Chappelle is at that. So it's just like, selfishly, I want him to be in the game.

But there's a part of me that goes, all right, maybe you're going to pass it. You know who he is? He's Andre 3K for comedy. Andre 3000. No, it's crazy. you're going to pass it. You know who he is? He's Andre 3K for comedy. Andre 3000. When Andre raps, it's different. It's like, you listen to it. It almost got boring for him. He's so fucking nice. Even just that little thing on the fucking John Legend song, Greenlight or

whatever, body's out. He had the Sorry song with T.I., body's out. And he just barely raps because he's like, I even think he said like, this shit ain't for me. It's too easy for me. I would say he's more like Jay-Z because he's still active. He's just doing something different. Like, Jay-Z's still active. Like, he'll still give you an album like 444, but it just doesn't sound like any of the music that any of the younger artists are making.

Like, he's just elevated to a point where it's like, oh, hey, my topic matter is going to be different. And my beats are going to be different. And I don't give a fuck. And you're going to respect it. And it's going to be a great project i don't give a fuck and you're going to respect it and it's going to be a great yeah i think he's like elevated to he's like in the god character category it's like you cannot deny his brilliance yeah but he's not really competing with the ones who are still in the game i hear i hear what akash is saying in terms of like skill level skill level yeah and but i also understand where you are in terms of like subject matter and status

he's already got status so like i don't need to do what you do y'all are trying to get where i am i'm past that he's off that he's a jay-z another jay-z reference that is another thing that like a lot of comics will be critical of him for not being uh as jokey with the stuff he's talking about he has earned that patience yes there's not a lot of comics that can demand that patience from an audience yeah there's very few comments that can just be up there for two minutes telling a story and then you are hanging on every single word and that takes 20 30 years of delivering super fast if you want slow but no matter what there's going to be delivery. Him and Pryor are the only two I can think of that could do that.

And he even comes out, and this is something you don't see comics do, he comes out and says, I'm nervous. Believe it or not, I am nervous, even though you can't see it out here. Comics don't do that shit. Comics don't come out and say, hey, I'm nervous right now, and then get into their set. Because you're like, oh, the audience is going to lose faith in me. Chappelle, we're all like, yeah, but you're still going to

deliver. You can be nervous and you can still deliver because i know you you're right i wonder if he's just in like the carlin phase of his career though like the late carlin phase where like if you look at carlin's early stuff it's like all jokes silly observations and then it transcends into really serious point it takes with like punch lines every now and again i remember it's funny you say that about carlin we got pictures of carlin up here in the studio certain places i think we have some carlin up here in the studio in certain places, I think. We have some Carlin around here?

We might need a Carlin. Yeah, his book's up there. His book, Braindropping. Braindropping, yeah. I'm curious what the new generation of kids

that get into stand-up comedy think of this evolved version of Chappelle. I think it helps his legacy. I think it helps his legacy amongst us, but I don't think it helps his legacy i think it helps his legacy amongst us but i don't think it helps it amongst the new generation and i say that because i found carlin

after he had evolved into the final stage of carlin and i didn't think it was funny yeah me neither i was just like this this old guy is passionate and like angry about shit but i'm going into with the expectation of humor yeah and he wasn't cynical yeah it was just like, this old guy is passionate and angry about shit, but I'm going into it with the expectation of humor. Yeah, and he was cynical. Yeah, he was just cynical. He wasn't dropping any bombs, but I heard the audience laughing. And then that cognitive distance that I was experiencing made me feel uncomfortable watching. So I was never ranking him super high. And then as I got into stand-up and I started to go back to old Carllin and I started to see him evolve into this thinker, I was like

oh, that's why they're laughing because they have years of Carlin with him. It's like your best friend telling you a story about going to Krispy Kreme or some shit like that. Everything that your best friend has experienced in his life gets carried into that story.

So you're dying at certain parts that might not have punchlines because it's Craig. It's Craig in Krispy Kreme. How funny would it be if that person said that to Craig? It's almost our relationship with Larry David. Like when Larry starts

the awkward interaction with the person in an episode, we start laughing because we're like, oh, here Larry go. You know what I mean? Here he go. This is going to be a thing.

It's going to be an issue. The first time though, you're like, it's just a weird, awkward old guy. Like, what's the deal? You got to win that trust. Yeah.

And so, Mike, I'm curious if the new generation of kids that just see this version of Chappelle are going to go, oh, why does everybody think he's so funny? And then my only pushback on my own point is, Carlin didn't live in the internet age. That's what I was just about to say. What just dropped on Netflix? Chpelle chapelle show so all these young kids are gonna go wait maybe we're just finding out about chapelle maybe are seeing later specials and they're like everybody says he's the goal but i don't know it's whatever now they go on netflix and they see chapelle show now they go on youtube and they start looking at past sketches and they

start looking at killing killing them softly they start looking at past sketches and they start looking at killing killing them softly. They start looking at what was the other one? Fuck. What's for what it's worth for what it's worth. And they're like, oh, that's how you get from here to here. Yeah. And I wonder if they rewatch the newer Chappelle and they start going, oh, I see why everybody's laughing. Yeah.

One thing I was confused about. He mentioned that he doesn't make any money off of Chappelle's show being on all these streaming services. But then he encouraged everybody to go watch the Chappelle's show on Netflix. I think he makes money by being famous. He's in a legacy play, I think. I don't know if this is just naturally occurring or if this is an actual intentional play on his part. But I think he's pushing for legacy now. I agree.

Because he seemed bitter about it. Yeah, I think he is pushing for legacy now. I think he, I agree. Because he seemed bitter about it. Yeah, I think that like, I think he is bitter about it. I think a lot of times when you do a show with Viacom, it's like a buyout, the show. I think anything like MTV or any of that kind of stuff is like, they just go, this is ours. I think that's what happened with Nick Cannon in Wild N' Out. Oh, yeah. Right? Like he didn't own the IP of the show.

And that's why he had to leave probably. Boom, partially. Exactly, right? So it's like, I think with Chappelle, he's not going to get a piece of that's why he had to leave probably boom partially exactly right so it's like i think with i think with chappelle he's not gonna get a piece of that but he understands the significance of that and you know it's almost in a similar play to like chappelle don't have like or doesn't need it but he also doesn't have like youtube and stuff like us right like we can just put clips or whatever we want on youtube and they can exist forever and that can be our library that's you

don't have that and he doesn't have the rights to post them so low-key he needs them shits to exist out there yeah and it's also a reminder to the young kids yo this is what this is what i'm about this is what i did you watch an snl you might not like it his last line on the snl monologue is thank you very much good night i saw you tweet that i thought that was so great bro that's like say your own tweet on it deja belle ends his monologue yo thank you guys good night because he knows none of us are gonna watch a single sketch. He knows we wanted to watch him and we're done.

Hilarious. Get the fuck out of my, and I watch sketches just because of Chappelle's show. He's in one sketch, he's the only funny part, and then it's over. Thank you,

good night is funny, but he knew to say good night at the beginning of the show. That's hilarious. I didn't even repeat that. Pete, watch again. Good night. Drop the mic. That's so hilarious. I need to repeat that. Pete, watch again. Good night.

Drop the mic. That's a good point. It was edgy. What's that? Well, one, his monologue. He said the N-word multiple times. He said the N-word multiple times. He cursed even a couple of times.

Money said shit or something? Yeah. And he's smoking. I'm sure every fucking fire marshal was like going, having an anxiety attack. Like he's smoking indoors. All these people around him wearing masks Yeah I know during Corona that was just like I'm convinced he just smokes as a fuck you

I think so I think there's smoking To show his power I think it's Maybe powerful but it's also a device Like any bit of Distraction is helpful In stand up and any bit of like attention Grabbing is helpful like I remember when I was in Atlanta and like I smoked a little joint on stage

and then they told me to cut that shit out immediately because I didn't have the clout. Right. You ain't Chappelle yet. You gotta have the clout to have the clout. You gotta have the clout

to have the clout. So it was like, but I remember, I always pay attention to the audience, how they react to things. I remember I could kind of just stay in moments with that. Anytime you take a drag of a cigarette, nobody's bored.

They're watching the embers. They're watching the smoke come out. And you get to build this kind of tension. And some comics will use a glass of whiskey or something for it. There's that guy. Ron White. Ron White is really good at that. And all of a sudden, these things become, I don't want to call them props,

but they become distraction devices that allow you to kind of like build tension and like stay in those moments. And every moment that you can keep an audience's attention and their intrigue for the punchline without delivering the punchline gives you exponential return. You know, so it's like watching him like pontificate on something. Leave smoke. I think you're right. But this time what's interesting is he starts with a cigarette, puts it in the ashtray,

doesn't go back to the rest of the monologue. I saw him go back and take it and then puff. Maybe I'm an asshole. I didn't think he went back and puffed. But I've always thought this though, that like cigarettes and cigars and any type of like smoking apparatus is like phones before phones.

Like everyone's hanging out and talking and you wanted like a distraction to look at when no one's talking. You want a thing to do so it's not awkward. Yeah. So like hanging out at like a cigar bar and everyone's like talking all of a sudden there's a lull it's like oh there's no lull we're puffing yeah and then you're kind of thinking oh what else do i want to say then you bring it back up low-key being outside or being at venue like anytime we went to a place where you could actually smoke inside if you're not talking to anybody but you're smoking a cigarette you're supposed to be there yeah you're still active if you're by yourself in a bar not smoking a cigarette by yourself in a bar

drinking could be looked at as weird by yourself in a bar smoking a cigarette oh he's waiting for someone oh he's just watching the game that's a great point right like it just seems so normalized for whatever reason yeah maybe that's the the allure on some level of like hookah too it's like you're just sitting around. You're smoking. What are we doing? Just sitting around? Yeah, but we're smoking hookah.

You need something for the pauses in conversation. Exactly. And it breaks it up. Yeah, that social ease. And phones do it a little bit. Well, phones can almost do the opposite too. They can appease you, but the people around you feel that disconnection. Yeah, yeah.

Whereas the hookah or even like a smoke, you want a cigarette? Yeah, he's still there. He's still with us thinking, whatever. Yeah. You can't react. You're in the middle want a cigarette? Yeah. He's still there. He's still with us thinking, whatever. Yeah. You can't react. You're in the middle of a puff. Yeah. Yeah. Hot take. SNL can be good again if they stay edgy the way this last episode. I was one

of the nerds who finished the episode and half of the sketches were very edgy as fuck. I'd rather you watch Crane's Gambit than finish that motherfucker. I was waiting for Chappelle to be in them. I thought he was going to be in more of them. He was just in the first one, and then you didn't see him again.

He did one sketch. First sketch, and he's out. And he's out. And the funniest part is when he said, fuck the whole sketch. Because he was like, this is a sketch about black people losing their jobs because of the unrest and the virus and everything. And then it was Aunt Jemima and Uncle Ben.

And then they were like, what about the Allstate guy? And that's Dave Chappelle and he talks this deep ass voice. But he kind of laughs before he does it as if like, I know how ridiculous

this is about to sound. You laugh because Chappelle laughed. And then they have the Count Chocula and they're like, what about this black guy? And the Count just keeps being like, what, I'm chocolate,

I'm not black. And it's Pete. And then Dave's just like, yeah, but look at his lips. America, look pete davidson's black ass lips and then you laugh because he just broke and said fuck the whole format of the sketch i'm just gonna laugh you laugh at chapelle being chapelle and i'm telling you if it stays like that it could be good again so here's a question and that shows dave's brilliant in sketch he's fucking he yo that's the thing that people that pete he going to be remembered as the greatest of all time comedically.

But it's similar like... Are you familiar with Jim Brown, the running back? Obviously, big football fan. Jim Brown, the running back, go. Was a fantastic lacrosse player. People say he's the greatest lacrosse player ever. Better at lacrosse than football. That's what's more dominant.

Now, granted, there's probably way more athletes in football than there are in lacrosse and blah, blah, blah. But I think he went to BU or some shit. Something. I don't know what school he went to. But apparently he was this super dominant force in lacrosse, right? And obviously lacrosse isn't a popular sport. So he goes in football and becomes one of the greatest football players ever. If Dave Chappelle stopped doing comedy after Chappelle's show, he's the best sketch comedy guy ever.

Yeah. We nerd out on him. Yep. Because we love standup. But most of America found him through sketch. Yep. I went to a Dave Chappelle's show, like, right when Chappelle's show came on. It was mad easy to get tickets.

It's at a theater in Dallas, but, like, it's not sold out. There's empty seats. Then Chappelle's show hits, and it's just different. The whole fucking vibe is different. You remember, you're walking on a college campus and you just go what somebody would be like okay and it's just chapelle his influence was nuts dog but it's kind of interesting to see him like dominate multiple fields oh it's insane i can't write sketches for shit it's so different stand up it's such a different muscle it's very hard and it works well with his comedy because if you

look at his comedy he kind of writes Yeah. He like creates these hypotheticals and acts out the characters within them. Yeah. But what I'm curious about is like what happens to comedy now with Biden as president? And I think comedy, edgy comedy becomes a lot easier for people to do. And I think you start to see programs like SNL but also like stand-ups and a lot of people becoming edgy and pushing back because you always, as a comic, want to push back against the institution in power. So pushing back against the institution in power when Biden is in power is going to be at least calling out the hypocrisy of that institution. People felt uncomfortable calling out the left

when Trump was in power because they thought that was an immediate indictment of being a Trumper. Right? So I think a lot of people who all of a sudden become maybe edgy again will do it because it's a comfortable environment to be edgy. It's okay to be edgy because by being edgy, people aren't going to associate you with the right. You see what I'm saying? For how long did people call me fucking right wing, all right, all this other shit just because I was making jokes, pushing back against the left? Forever on that shit.

So help me out here. Just to that point, a lot of that started when Barack was president. Yeah. I feel just the exact opposite of what you just said. Go on. If times are more calm, you can't be as edgy because now you're standing out. In chaos, the edginess is like, oh, wait, but we got bigger things to worry about. I think it always depends on like the industry you're in, right? So like entertainment is usually pretty left-leaning. Yeah. Right? And I think in a left-leaning industry,

you can call out certain things that exist within the culture, if you will, or within politics or within the world from the safety of a left-wing administration. In other words, yo, this is really fucked up what y'all are doing, but I'm glad that y'all are in charge. Right?

When you have a situation like with Trump with trump right and you see that like gaining like steam and there's some power in there and pushing back against the left and the institutions that are kind of in control is an indictment on supporting that thing on the right to some people they're afraid of that they're afraid of being connected to that in any single way i see your logic i just didn't i don't know that it played out like that. I think the anti-PC people got louder when Trump was in office because they felt more like, oh, this is cool now.

We got the anti-PC guy in office. And I think it became, I think you helped a lot for sure. I think this podcast helped a lot. But I think it became more okay to fight back against PC culture when the leader of the country who's been elected,

popular vote, whatever, who gives a fuck, that guy got elected by a lot of people. so clearly there's something to this we can get get back to it do you think it's fair to say that like the entertainment industry never really embraced that yes and if you wanted to work within the entertainment industry you probably wouldn't take hold with those to those beliefs i agree i just think it also started with Obama in office. The entertainment industry was still going after those,

picking those guys. So I'm not saying you're wrong. I'm asking you to help me out here because in my memory, what we were complaining about even when Obama was in office was, yo, everything is this fucking safe black guy on TV

and then the Indian is also gay or afraid to go outside or some other like characteristic quirk that you can't just be Indian. And they weren't telling go outside or some other like characteristic quirk that he can't just be Indian. And they weren't telling our stories or the comics that they chose for these showcases weren't edgy. I think it's, again, entertainment is always going to lean left. Yeah. When there's someone in charge who's also left, there's a little bit more license to make fun of it. When someone is in charge that is right, especially as polarizing

as Trump, and you make fun of the left, the assumption is that you're on the right. And the right was so fucking radicalized and so radioactive that any association with that made you radioactive. And I think people were terrified of that, especially comics and entertainers. Chris Pratt, poor Chris Pratt, guy just wants to fucking believe in Jesus. Now he's a Nazi who hates gays. You know what I'm saying? It was so terrifying

for people that were in the entertainment industry. Now, there's two different things we're looking at. The YouTube world and classical entertainment. You have to break those up, and I should have clarified that. YouTube explodes because the average person is like,

yo, I still want jokes. Yeah. I don't want pandering to the entertainment industry standards. Yep. I still want to just laugh at shit and sometimes the funny joke

is pushing against the left, sometimes pushing against the right. Yeah. But let's just make the funniest joke. Yeah, and I was thinking like socially acceptable for us on the ground not really speaking to classical entertainment.

So that's why. I should have clarified that. I should have clarified that. And to your point, where did you blow up? YouTube. Of course. Absolutely. So there's this – and I think you saw like a lot of even like news organization – not organization but like seeing Crystal and Sagar blow up on YouTube as well.

And them just being people who are calling out the left and the right, but kind of having a little bit more of a fair shake, if you will. And I think that people who are trying to get deals signed by Hollywood were terrified to do anything

that might have connected them with this thing that was so radioactive. Because that thing doesn't exist anymore, I think you're going to see a lot more like comics and like creatives going,

I can make those jokes because I'm not going to be associated with MAGA. You see what I'm saying? Yeah, Trash and Biden in the run-up to be associated with MAGA. See what I'm saying? Yeah, trashing Biden in the run-up to the election was really dangerous. Now trashing Biden is like, oh, he's the president. Yeah, he's just like, oh, it's fine.

You're not a Trumper because you trashed him. Yeah, I can see it. That's just my feeling. I also am a little bit bummed about it because I like the High Wire Act. I like the stakes being that high yeah i like touching a topic that i know that motherfuckers are terrified of touching because they could be accused of being connected to that radioactive thing yep and like for me that makes it exciting yeah and you look maybe this is just selfish but if comedy gets a point where it's just like oh yeah anybody can just say the crazy shit because we feel comfortable with the institution that's in power it's just like

oh well what's the fun i personally i just don't think that will happen yeah i think people right it won't it won't but you know you understand the sentiment might be a little bit more comfy maybe even snl starting to feel a little bit they're like yo we can get a little bit more edgy because we know that this guy's in yeah yeah i wonder if they get fined like fcc fines and shit like that maybe i also wonder if like a posted, like FCC fines and shit like that. Maybe. I also wonder if like a post-Trump presidency affects like the culture

a little bit. Okay. Like when all of like the PC movement started occurring probably what, like 2015? Like late 2014?

I think in New York I started seeing it 2008, 2009. Oh, really? The second I moved here I was like, whoa. Oh, yeah. What is this?

Yeah, I mean, I didn't notice it until college, obviously. So like if that's when like it's really booming we're like pronouns and like we have to be aware of all these different like microaggressions and stuff if that's occurring people have no idea what to even do with that trump gets an office and is like pushing back against that now are we in like a post-correction phase where people are a little more like uh stable as to where like they fit in that in that conversation you know what i mean yeah uh this is interesting we always say in this podcast like every correction is an over correction right

this correction wasn't an over correction this election this time yeah like like you could say from obama to trump was the over right right but it's not like we went from trump to aoc or bernie that would be the other over this it was almost like all right we've been bouncing around a lot let's get it back to the center everybody chill the fuck out yeah it's like maybe we recognize even subconsciously our own tendency to overcorrect. And because of that, we were just like, I'm tired of the seesaw. Let's just get a little stability. And you know what? In four years, motherfuckers are going to be pissed off again.

Because that's what we do. And the same motherfuckers that are pissed off because of left-wing shit are going to be voting for another Trump-esque guy. And the same motherfuckers that are pissed off because of right-wing shit are going to be voting for another Bernie-esque guy. But I think for these four years, it's almost like a timeout. You know what I mean? Seize fire?

Yeah, it's like, hey, deep state. Seize fire. Can you just handle some shit so we can get a deep breath? Yeah, yeah. You know what I mean? It's just, mommy, daddy. Yeah. Blah, blah, blah is bullying me.

Do your old brother ever pick on you and then your parents split you up? That's what this feels like. It feels like my younger brother telling mom and dad, yo, just put him in his room so I can just chill for a minute. Yeah. Which is why I thought it was, like, kind of annoying watching everyone, like, go out and, like, be dancing and celebrating and stuff. I'm like, I don't really think it's going to change

anyone's day-to-day life. Like, don't get me wrong. It's nice seeing people happy and stuff. Like, I went out to Washington Square Park and, like, saw everyone jumping around. Yeah. But also, I was like, I don't really think this is going to change.

Like, whose life is going to be changed from this on, like be changed from this on like actual yeah what do you think the celebration represented all right guys we're gonna break uh for a second because y'all are stressed out okay i understand people are stressed out and you're not sleeping well and uh we gotta fix that because you should be able to sleep there are ways where you can sleep better. Okay? Exercise really helps. Diet really helps. You know what else really helps? Meditation. Calm.

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includes hundreds of hours of programming. Okay? Calm.com slash flagrant. Get that 40% off and get the fuck to sleep let's get back to the show what do you think the celebration represented so just the sentiment of him being in office and the divisiveness yeah and as a black person in america like that's scary to me right i just don't know how far people are willing to go that dislike me so it's like just to have that feeling removed yeah it's coming and that's enough for me to celebrate so so i think there's probably

people that like definitely support like i was in the west village right i'm literally sitting down with my fiancee eating brunch and i hear the horn the. Do you guys hear the horns? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I know. Sorry. It was, New York was going off. But I'm in a gay ass neighborhood and the lesbos and the gays were celebrating, bro. I mean, like snapping, whistling. They were going wild and people were going for it. Then we were in Washington Square Park a little bit and shit was popping, right? These people were celebrating. And I think that at least in like marginalized communities or whatever that term is, like there's probably that same sensation.

Yeah. Which is like, all right, at least the leader, I could feel as if the leader of the country doesn't hate me. Now, did Trump hate these different people? I don't think so personally. But he might have created an environment that made people that hated them feel comfortable. Yeah. Right. So I could see that relief.

But then you see a lot of white girls in college that are going crazy. We did it. We did it. It's like, dude, what? I'll tell you, it became sports. It did become fucking sports. It became tribal.

This is the World Cup. Every four years, you give a fuck about the World Cup for a little while. That's why when you were a kid. No, but maybe that's the thing it's like we never fuck with soccer because we got politics we don't need it y'all got a game we got life yeah nothing gets done nobody ever scores but that's why when there's one black guy on the team

when you guys mentioned before that uh uh sore losers, I mean sore winners, I kind of feel that no matter which side won, both sides would have been sore winners. Both sides are sore, bro. What I want to clarify with that is liberals are sore winners only based on their own politics, which is we should bring everybody together. We should unite. This should not be divisive. we should bring everybody together. We should unite. This should not be divisive. And AOC is out here like fucking stalling,

trying to take down lists of people that were pulling back. So it just is hypocritical, the reaction. I tend to agree with a lot of liberal policies, but I hate the hypocrisy of they act like they're above all this shit. And they judge people who are doing it. They judge these guys at the Trump rallies.

They're so ignorant. They're so stupid. Then your guy wins and you do the same thing if you admit you ain't shit fine but if the kind of liberal zeitgeist is we're above all of this we are for unity like andrew said and then the second you get your win you act just like them that bothers maybe i didn't see it because i what i saw and of course i was busy this week and i i really wasn't paying that much attention but i I saw Biden and Kamala's speech. And at that speech and the energy and the messaging they put out, I felt that that was great for the nation.

I'm not speaking about Biden or Kamala. If Trump won and said those same things, I would have been, yo, that's great for the nation. And there have been times where Trump gave an address and people were like, yo, this was very united. It was maybe the last State of the Union or something even when he won remember the stock market was plummeting as he won and they came out and gave a speech that was pretty stable pretty i was like okay i'm gonna give this guy a chance because his speech doesn't seem crazy it seems

pretty reasonable yeah and it was comforting yeah so i just like the fact that you know let's promote unity let's promote and 100 i can understand you don't like the um hypocrisy hypocrisy of it but yo and that's the tricky thing when it comes to like someone like him in my position is like I agree with the sentiment. Yeah. And I'm annoyed by hypocrisy. Yeah. And it's a it's a fine line to articulate because I have to preface it with, yo, I'm on the same page. We all got to come together. We all got to do this. Right. With the criticism of, but y'all ain't living that fucking life

that you say you do. Yeah, exactly. And I'm on the page of, I agree with the sentiment and I just ignore anybody who contradicts themselves. Yeah, yeah. And to be fair to you,

hypocrisy on either side doesn't bother you as much. We are people who are really bothered by hypocrisy. So it's like, look, I agree with what you want, but like this shit is not cool. On either side, we don't like it. it's like division on either side like this kid uh madison cothorn did you see him he's like the youngest person to be elected to the house

of representatives like this pretty ass kid from north carolina no legs yeah yeah yeah he tweeted some shit no legs yeah they don't work he's like avatar i think he's like in a wheelchair yeah but he posted some shit where he's like, after he won, he just tweets, cry more lib. And it's like, all right, dude. You know what I mean? You just got elected in your district or whatever, but you're antagonizing liberals that live there? You're a politician. Try to govern your entire constituency and not just people that voted for you.

Yeah. How about take some ice cream out the freezer? Come on. You could take something higher. It's the higher part. It's the higher part. A lot of freezers are lower now. Oh, fuck.

Y'all are fancy. I forgot, dude. Yo, mine's the higher part. I got the whole fridge. This fridge is higher. Get some ice cubes, bro. Come on. Change the light bulb.

You could do anything. I still can't get the light bulb, bro. I need a little help for that. What can't wheelchair people do, dude? I mean, that's a pretty clear answer to that. Walk i couldn't go with walk it's so obvious yeah it's true climb stairs climb stairs yeah they could do that without the legs what's a good like this on like a big head in a wheelchair people get better back than you if that's your only position they perfected that but the girls kind of like sit on their bony pelvis and shit.

It's probably all uncomfortable and stuff like that. Yeah, man, emaciated. And also, I don't know how much of my legs I use when I'm on top. I'm more like rocking forward. I go on my- Yo, you ever been to SeaWorld, bro? Yeah, I literally look like an elephant seal, bro. That's what I look like.

I just do a plank on my elbows. I just rock forward and back i almost sound like that too that's me bro you gotta you got the knees down you gotta dig in son ah bro sometimes i see dudes like i'll see like uh you see dudes yeah like i'm like chippendales dudes and shit like that doing all those moves dancing i'm like am i supposed to do that fucking, bro? Are people really doing that? On their toes?

No, you got to do girl push-ups, bro. Go to the knees. You know the ones where they'll dance on top of a girl, they'll lay the girl down, and they'll do all those crazy moves? Yeah, the one-handed push-up and wave and shit. Fuck out of here, bro. What if I fall out? I got to take another Three minutes to get my dick

Back in that shit You know what I mean Be a man short of breath Hold on now Hold on Let me find it Let me find it Start breathing real heavy

Hold on It done dried up on me Hold on Hold on Anywho Yeah I was a wild boy The other day son What'd you do?

I fucked on a heavy day Whoa Yeah Whoa Yeah On your sheets? Or you went into the Nah we put some towel down

In preparation Nah bro I don't do that I don't know why I don't know what got over me son I'm crazy bro Why not go into the shower Pipe in the shower It was a little celebration

Say what? It was a little celebration Well we all set her period We celebrating that Nah You would you would celebrate a good job babe well done saved us 315 bucks all right go what was the celebration nah just good things going on right okay saturday celebration so you were feeling you were feeling yourself and she was on that heavy but you just you just had to do it you were just thinking about kamala and joe the whole time hey we getting red out everywhere yo yeah the country went blue but my sheets went

red bro i'm not gonna lie man last time I had sex on my fiance period is that the only way you say it now yeah dude like Tristan Tristan no

fucking Tristan last time I had sex on my fiance period it was in the shower and I saw some of that blood bro oh no you don't look down

you are nah I look down I feel like you did work probably son I kinda got turnt on bro I of got turnt on. Bro, I kind of got turnt on. It's kind of like primal.

It is. I saw that. Even though I looked down at it, it was all right. And my girl got all embarrassed. She's trying to wipe the blood that's on the floor of the shower away. And I'm like, leave it. Shit. Like Bear Grylls.

That's right, bro. You in nature now. They're not. Yo, it's not bad, that period sex. The second you bust, you're like, get the fuck out of here. Right? The second you're like, why are you bleeding everywhere? What's happening?

All that primal shit goes out the window. Right? I want the comforts of home and a freezer on the bottom. Oh, fuck. What else we got, Al? You got some feelings? No facts for us? No, we got a big story, yo.

Yeah, they set up Trump, son. Say what? That's what we're talking about. They set Trump up. Set Trump up, yo. Set Trump up for what? So after he loses we got the cure

we got the vaccine motherfucking Monday you know what that shit's about I don't think they trusted Trump to administer it bro I mean that sincerely what do you mean did they announce it now I think that they announced it

Pfizer announced that they have a vaccine and it's 90% effective. And stocks are skyrocketing as we speak. Everything is up, bro. Except Amazon, apparently. Well, yeah, the stocks that were killed by Corona are up. And the stocks that did great during Corona are down. So like Amazon thrives in Corona. And if Corona is over, it's going to come down a little bit to a realistic number.

Amazon's obviously going to always be around, but airplane stocks went crazy because motherfuckers are going to start traveling again because they're not terrified of the airport. But I think what this is, is because it's probably going to take them what, like six months or something like that to get enough of these. Yeah. The big issue is the cool chain.

That's what they call it. They call it like the cool chain system. So basically like being able to transport vaccines at scale at like super low temperatures because they have to stay like at like. Right. And you have to do that to 300. Well, they're saying 330 million people, probably 200 million people have to take it. Kids don't need it.

Specialized trucks, specialized airplanes, all this shit to keep it at like negative 100 degrees or whatever. And I think the argument with kids is they might not need it, but if they can give it to people, you might want your kid to have it. Right, right. But one, whatever, it doesn't matter. The point is, if it's going to take six or nine months to get this shit to everybody, maybe what they did is they held on as long as they possibly could because they were like, we don't believe Trump has the ability or the wherewithal to execute the the administration of this drug to wait six months yeah not even a wait six months but like we don't know if he'll be able to do it so maybe they had it three months ago and maybe this is what trump kept on talking about that's

any day now it's any day now and they were like oh you need a few more minutes yeah because they're like we think you'll botch this you've botched corona we think you'll botch this that's what i was talking to some of my like political folks they're like this has probably been ready for a while right and there's no i mean if this is not a coincidence that they met that they mentioned it the day after they confirmed the bodies right because trump might not be involved in the literal like passing out and like transportation of the drug but he could put out a tweet like i'm not getting no vaccine or whatever not only not he put he could probably put that out right now and still fuck it up maybe but like not only that but like he might try to rush it he might go well who needs all the fucking cooling systems let's go out there he might be so anxious to get this drug to the people

that he would risk the efficacy i believe the term is of the drug and that's why maybe there's some pushback so like i don't know i mean but also you look at that you're like oh that's kind of foul the timing was so motherfuckers lives right there like that's foul if you had this shit six months ago somebody's mom is dead because you didn't put it out no no i don't think that's the case because uh trials take a really long time so it's like i just think they're at the 90 effective rate because of the latest results of the trials going on that's what they're saying and they were just really happy to report that i still don't think it's ready for a distribution a monday a monday news break

though two days after the election seems so blatant maybe it's it's so blatant it can't be on purpose but like trump is gone sat. The next moment you can drop news basically. Hey, 90% efficacy on this vaccine. Let's go. Also during the debate, they were like, yo, Trump, you have a vaccine? He was like, yeah, it's coming. Like apparently really good results. And everyone called him a liar.

Biden called him a liar in the debate. He's like, nah, he's lying. He's not lying. Turns out. Yeah. But what happens when you lie so much? Yeah. That's the boy who cried wolf.

Or the girl, whoever it was. It was a girl or a boy? It was a boy. It was a boy? Yeah. That's the boy who cried wolf. Or the girl, whoever it was. It was a girl or a boy? It was a boy. It was a boy? Yeah, why are you scared of that wolf? He'll just run, son. Yeah. Go inside.

Go inside. Don't you got an inside? You're not going to outrun a wolf. Oh, gosh, come on, bro. And wolves don't play. Yeah, you can only outrun bears and lions. Yeah. I can outrun a bear, obviously.

Get out of here. Lions, I'm thinking differently now. Oh, now? Yeah, because I've seen the side to side. But bears, pigeon-toed. I'll run anything pigeon-toed. Also, there's been a lot of controversy over Taylor's claim that she ran 116. Oh, yeah.

We're going to hack. When she's back. When she's back. When she's back, we're going to have a whole conversation. I brought that up on idiots. I brought that up on idiots, right? Yeah. She said she ran an 116.

Someone in the flagrant. I believe that because I don't know what that means. Yo, someone in the flagrant i don't know what that means yo someone in the flagrant reddit did a whole breakdown of like mile per hour mile per hour with a bear compared like analysis compared to dk metcalf dk metcalf is this wide receiver for the seattle seahawks maybe the fastest man in the league one yeah one of the fastest guys in the league and i think when he ran down Buda Baker, he was running at like 22 miles per hour and Taylor's pace is like 24 miles per hour.

Some shit, man. Get the fuck out of here. So we got to call her on it. When she gets back, we got to call her on it. 100%. No, we got to all race her. Yeah.

I'm too old for that. I'll let y'all do that. I'll come in last to prove a point because I won't be trailing her by that much. You're going to be second to last. Control group.

Control group, bro. You two top half, you couldn't even outrun a fucking Swiss prison or whatever the fuck police officer. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Sweden. Bobble that, bobble that. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

That would have Biden, bro. You nerd. That would have Biden. Fucking nerd. Talk about Swiss army knives or whatever you're saying. So what else we got, man? Some feelings, no facts. Let's do it.

Did we make fun of the fact that Kim voted for? I did on social, but you know what the thing is for me? It's like, what a fucking like, yo, Stylebender commented this shit. Cracked me up. He said, that's a clout trout. Yo, clout trout. Clout trout. That is great.

Clout trout is hilarious. But that's what these people do, man. There's so many layers to that. That's so good. The lips. Not only the both lips. Could be like a trout. Trout snap or something.

So the thing is, when your whole life is based around clout or likes or social media attention, you don't even realize your own hypocrisy. So there's this picture that she posts of Biden and Kamala, and she puts four blue hearts. Blue hearts, mind you. Not red hearts, like you know her ass been voting, right?

She gets behind Biden. The levels of hypocrisy behind this are unbelievable. She gets behind Biden and Kamala. What is the one thing that she worked with Trump on? Freeing Alice Johnson, I think it was her name. Prison reform? Yeah, Kamala. What is the one thing that she worked with Trump on? Freeing Alex Johnson, I think it was. Prison reform? Yeah, prison reform. I want to work on prison reform, right? Oh, that's a good point.

Kamala, locking motherfuckers up left and right in California for nothing, mind you. Blocking evidence that could potentially free them, right? Biden, the crime Bill Don, getting people locked up left and right.

Matter of fact, the people that Kim is freeing are probably on some level locked up because of Biden crime bills. How the fuck are you going to put these blue heart? Now, I understand if you try and do some like unity shit, but then you don't heart it. You go, I understand we might have our disagreements, but I'm looking forward to working with you on crime reform.

Something like that. Don't just throw these fucking hearts. Not to mention your husband ran. Your husband ran for president. How the fuck could you possibly put that up? Your husband ran. And if you knew your husband ran as some massive ploy for attention, if this was just a big PR move

and you knew the whole fucking time, fuck you. Yeah. Don't act like you're some activist out here trying to make change and you're going to let your husband potentially peel away votes from one candidate

so that it could either help or affect negatively a result that you wanted? Do you see what I'm saying? Like this woman, bro, so easy to hate, man. So easy. Like how do you make yourself so easy to hate? And don't get me wrong.

I understand girls want to dress like them and all that kind of shit. And they're like fashionistas. And low-key, like part like kanye's brand being so valuable look i'm starting to think is like is it just because these kardashian girls have so much goddamn uh clout when it comes to clothing and they all put that shit on they may look hot like i really am starting to wonder like is kanye the reason why his shit is so successful or does he happen to be married to the biggest influencers on the planet especially in the clothing department and they single-handedly built that shit for Kanye.

One thing I'll give Kanye is that he kind of elevated Kim's fashion game when they got together. But their influence on fashion was still pretty big. Like, they weren't in high fashion. His sneakers were killing it before Kim. The Yeezys, I think, were pretty big before Kim. They literally owned a store that sold clothes called Dash. That was what they did for a living.

No, I know. But I mean, she wasn't respected in the high fashion world. She was still looked at as just like a video vixen or whatever the case is. And then he got her on the vanity fairs and those bigger type of magazine. Fair enough. Maybe. But I think the regular average female was looking at what she was wearing and going, I want to wear that.

And now literally all of them, if any of them wear a bag, that bag is sold out. If any of them wear a pair of pants, those pants are sold out. They wear sandals, those things are sold out. Anything that they put on is gold. It's like when a first lady wears some shit. Maybe not Melania, but remember when Michelle put on a dress and that shit was off the shelves? So I'm starting to think like, all right, so maybe you guys are really at least partially responsible for using it.

Oh, for sure. Partially. Definitely. They got to, right? I don't know. It's just such fraudulence. I see that you should watch her with dave letterman oh yeah i watched the first part of that oh you did yeah

it's like i think she's been doing this whole social media clout thing for so long she's convinced like she it's not a lie anymore it's not bullshit she's she andrew dice clay did she like starts to believe this character that she's put up for? Like she actually sounds genuine about the law and getting people out. Like she really is about that. She mention Armenia at all? No. Interesting, huh? These fucking frauds, son.

You know why she don't mention that shit? Because it could hurt her. Why? Because it could hurt her. How? Maybe these people, maybe there's not enough Armenians out there. Maybe she got a lot more Turkish fans. Maybe she got a lot more Azerbaijani fans.

And maybe she got a lot more support for whatever the opposite side of that cause. And all of a sudden, you're not Armenian enough to help. I haven't seen Kanye tweeting about that shit at all. I'm just saying, if some shit was popping in India. I'm tweeting. Regardless of how much it hurts you. Yeah. I don't know. He didn't tweet at all about Alex Trebek, which is kind of fucked up. Why? I'm just saying, if some shit was popping in India, regardless of how much it hurts you. No, he didn't tweet at all about Alex Trebek,

which is kind of fucked up. Why? Bro, all the Indians love him. Akash didn't tweet once about him. Yo. Yo, maybe you're right. I was trying to billmark out of that, but then I didn't know.

I was trying to. I didn't know where. I was hoping my brain would click on something. I was trying to. I was just waiting to see what he goes with because I was just going to pile on to that shit what the fuck are you talking about for a thousand dollars he said I was like thank god I went back to my computer

real talk for a second I was like yo is Alex Trebek Indian for a second I really thought he's an Indian icon he's maybe an icon anyway point is point is just phonies can we all just like like and why do we keep putting up with it bro why why does this shit why do we get caught up why do we tolerate why are phonies so fucking tolerable i don't understand

why other people tolerate them and that's what drives me crazy is y'all don't see the fucking fraudulence why is that cool y'all and everybody else is like yeah don't bother me that much and i think there's some fraudulence in me that i hate so when i see another people i'm like ah fuck that guy because i know that about myself on some deep level that i don't get yet but i hate fraudulence and hypocrisy like i can't do it i'm out it could possibly just be my internet feed but it seems like there's a lot more of them than there are regular people and that drives me crazy wait go on that so like all the fake phony stage pictures fake bodies all that shit like kardashian esque people i just tend to see a lot more that being promoted and people like buying into it

like if you're a girl right and i'm sure like we'll find a way where we should do this as well but if you're a girl you shouldn't exalt the phony image of what a girl is because it only makes your life more difficult so i'm saying like if you're a girl and you don't have the money to buy fake tits and you don't have the money to buy fake ass you don't have money to buy all these like surgeries that you do on your face and like the most expensive hair extensions and all this photoshop all that other shit. You shouldn't put those girls on a pedestal, not pedal, pedestal, I got it. You shouldn't put those girls on a pedestal because now your life is that much more difficult. You look that much uglier.

You look that much more unacceptable. Like, if anything, you should be promoting Lizzo or these other, like, fat bitches out there because it just makes you look that much more beautiful. Does that make sense? Because it's not men look that much more beautiful. Does that make sense? That's not it. Because it's not men that promote the Kardashians. Yeah, we'll be like, yo, she got a fat ass, but it's like there's a million girls with fat asses on the internet. We do not promote these women.

This is women promoting these women that we are not asking them to promote. That's damaging their own crop. Yeah. To me, it's mind boggling. I don't understand. Please make sense of it for me. And maybe, guys, we do this on some level. I'm trying to think, how do we do this?

We like the pictures. Or scroll and not like them, but look at it for a really long time. So just let me understand this out. So we don't get in trouble. They're doing it because we reward it. Yes. In other words, they are living up to that image because they look at what we like. Yes.

Got you. Yeah. So men do it with hip hop culture.hop culture yeah i'm trying to understand give me the parallel to guys is all i i have the most money i'm the hardest dude i'm the toughest motherfucker i'm the baddest dude on earth and rich all this shit they put a standard of what like the ideal guy should be and then we fuck with it and we're like yeah we want to be like those guys and then women are like yeah i want i want you to be like those guys too because they're rich and they're bad as fuck and like they'll kill a motherfucker who disrespects me let's ride and then we're all like you know i mean like we're feeding into it also like me 10 years ago i would have agreed with you but now it's like i don't i don't know if the young gangster appearance rappers are that effective

or that like influential as they used to be i'm 36 so yeah like mark i don't know though i think the i think the culture is still dictated by like the influencer like i don't think that that's changed i think maybe the influence has changed in terms like what they're peddling i don't think like gangbanging and like killing people and shit is as much as a part of rap now as it was maybe 15 years ago yeah but i do think that it's still aspirational yeah i think so yeah but you can aspire to have other shit like maybe aspire to have like a house with a pool is is doper than aspiring to be like the most gangster dude on the block but but those things still bleed into each other though so like i think like the entrepreneurial spirit is another like big cultural

influencer that people are aspiring to but all of those goods that are like seized in that pursuit of entrepreneurship are the same thing as that it It's like money, cars, like hot chicks. So like those values and those goods haven't changed, but maybe like the pursuit has changed slightly. Yeah, just because the entrepreneurial pursuit is a lot more relatable. It's like, I know I'm not joining a gang. Yeah. I know I'm not gonna like start hustling, selling drugs.

I could start hustling something legal. I should start my little side businesses. I could be like a boss or whatever, boss up. And the outcome and outcomes the same but we are still raising women's standards by trying to be the richest motherfucker the best entrepreneur the baddest yeah and i don't know if that ever changes because it's something that's like real and accessible yeah and i guess the thing that like is so shocking about the you know the kardashians and maybe it kind of brings us full circle that conversation we were having earlier just about like plastic surgery in general it's like yet they get to elevate their status like a woman gets to elevate her social status in the world an unbelievable like an unbelievable return on investment

in with surgery yeah beauty is currency for uh for women currency is currency for us exactly so it's like that chris rock joke where he was talking about his wife. He's like, everything you do, I can pay someone to do. You can't pay someone to pay for shit. Right. You know what I mean? Like, I can pay for someone to watch the kids. I can pay for someone to make dinner.

I can pay for someone to clean the house. I can't pay for someone to pay for shit. Right? And at the end of the day, the buck stops with dudes. It's like, we can't pay for someone to pay for shit. Right? So girls, because of of evolution whatever we want to call like their value a lot of times in society at least superficially is going to be their looks

and you can pay a very small amount of money to increase your looks that has an unbelievable return on that investment i mean think about all the girls that we've seen, a Kylie Jenner, that bitch, a billionaire, maybe she was a ugly girl. I mean, it feels cruel even saying it. Pre-op Kylie, nothing, no influence whatsoever.

Did we ever finish that in terms of the plastic surgery for our kids? Yeah. And I think that's why we come full circle. It's like, that's why on some level, I was most important to me is that my kid loves themselves and appreciates themselves because I think that's going to carry itself throughout every relationship she's in, every business opportunity she has. Like she's got to know her value, right? And can't just believe that she can just eject and chop away to make her worth something.

You got to be worth something before if you're a girl specifically. something before if you're a girl specifically but the ability for her to like up her status five thousand dollars for a fucking nose job whatever it is and then your status is increased by double yeah yeah but i think i think the question he was asking before is like what starts that like is that women just being like y'all i'm gonna get the nose job because it's better or are they doing it to then fit into the norm of the male gaze? I think they're doing it to the male gaze. So yes, but at the same time, it's like, what is the norm?

I'm sure you go certain places in the world where they got some schnozzelines and all of a sudden that's the norm. Yeah, I think France, the most popular surgery is breast reduction or one of the more popular ones. Breast reduction is more popular than boob jobs. Than breast implants.

It is the gaze. Gay. Whoa. Yeah, that's a super gay punch, Rebo. Oh, my God. It is. No, it's not. Can we stop this?

That is so gay stuff. It's super gay. Do they do forehead reductions over here? Your head titty? But in all seriousness. It's not the gay stuff. It is, though. In all seriousness, though, that's interesting.

It's like maybe culturally that's something girls got to shift. Do girls got to make that shift? Or is that something that we gotta make that shift it's a chicken or the egg it is right it's like because if they stop fucking with it we ain't gonna stop fucking them yeah like that's the thing women gotta realize it's you the only i used to try to do a joke about this but it's like you're the only ones with a pussy yeah it's not like we can go to something if women were like now we're not shaving. Yeah. It's not like we can go to something. If women were like, nah, we're not shaving our legs anymore. It's not like we're going to be like, all right, well, we fucking orangutans. Like, we're going to fuck you.

Yeah. Whatever you give us. Yeah. We're going to fuck you. Guaranteed. So you could dictate what beauty is. We would go along with it. Girls were shaving the side of their heads for a while.

Dudes were still fucking them. Yep. Hipster motherfuckers. You know what I mean? Girls wear these baggy boy jeans. We still fuck them. Yeah. They wear tight jeans. We still fuck them. No matter what they wear, we still going to fuck them. Hipster motherfuckers. You know what I mean? Girls wear these baggy boy jeans. We still fuck them. They wear tight jeans. We still fuck them.

No matter what they wear, we still gonna fuck them. Why they put themselves through this hell? Yeah, I don't know. I think that was also part of the nascent stages of the body positivity movement.

Right. When it starts, they're trying to be like... Do the right thing. Yeah, love yourself and we don't have to have all these perfect things, blah, blah, blah. Yeah.

But then that just, like, spirals off into something different. Everybody's got to, what is it? It's the same thing with, like, creating laws. As, like, a congressman, you want to feel like you've done something to, like, improve your district. So a lot of these congressmen, like, put up these laws, like the don't rape woman law, right? And it's, like, you get even more extreme versions of the same law. Like, we all agree, like, don't rape woman law, right? And it's like you get even more extreme versions of the same law. Like we all agree, like don't rape or assault women at all.

But that's the easiest law to get passed because nobody says don't do it. So kind of like Colorado is these like insanely strict rules about sexual assault and they define it in like the craziest ways. Like something we might call harassment, they might actually call like assault. And I think that's what happens in these movements.

It's like a competition for who can be the wokest. Yo, I wonder if it's like the public goods dilemma. You ever heard of this? There's like a thing I learned at school, basically like where if you play a game with people where you basically have like five or 10 bucks and like I'm going to mess up the logistics of the game, but like you can either put in $5 or $10

and then whatever the pot is, it gets doubled and then everyone gets money back yep so the best position to be in in the game like if everyone puts in money you get money back and then everyone everyone's wealth increases and that's the public good that everyone benefits from but if you don't put in money your wealth goes up more than everyone else's yeah so it's like you put in no sacrifice and then you get the most and then everyone else kind of gets privy to what's going on and then no one puts in money yeah and then the public good depletes yeah so i wonder if it's like that with like body positivity or like female like uh i don't know surgery essentially yeah where it's like oh yeah no we should all love ourselves but i ain't gonna be the one to sacrifice yeah but i'm gonna be the first one yeah i'm gonna be the

hottest one i'm not gonna do it either yeah it's like and then when you make that first sacrifice, you're the only bitch with hair on her legs. Yeah. You're not getting no dick. You're not getting no attention at the club. You're not getting anything. You need everyone to come on board. But then once everyone comes on board, then you can do little things to then give yourself an edge.

And then it creeps back. Human beings, we will do that. And maybe that's the reason why you have Marxism or communism or these things don't work is because we actually in our DNA don't want to be equal completely. We want to have hierarchies. We want to find ways to have competitive advantages, you know, with the people we're around, or at least like until we have a competition is kind of built into our DNA, isn't it? You want to be the person that survives. Yeah. So like in every species survival of the fittest, you got to survive. So you have to find like a

system that feeds that. Yeah. You have to find like a system that feeds that. Yeah. You have to find like a system that feeds the primal urge and like, but doesn't cripple all the people in the process.

Right. We can't kill ourselves in the process to like wanting to win. We have to evolve past that but it's in our DNA. It's locked in there. Yeah.

Yeah. It's tricky, man. I don't know. I wish Taylor was here. We could talk about it because I'm sure I'm sure chicks get tired of this shit.

Lady assholes, listen, like be honest, y'all get tired of this shit lady assholes listen like be honest y'all get tired of this shit fake eyelashes every time you try to go meet a guy or some shit yeah maybe that's why like oh shit maybe that's why like sluttiness has increased

you want to return on your investment for the night it's like you put on the eyelashes you put on the makeup, you put on these uncomfortable ass shoes, and you're gonna not get dicked? Imagine you did all that shit, like, imagine you buying a trip,

you know, you putting on a flight, you go to the hotel, you get to dinner, all this stuff, and you're like, I want some pussy and shit, even if she catfishes me, the fish is getting fried. Right? There's gonna be, you want some sort of return no yeah oh yeah yeah i wonder if girls feel that way a little too yeah you go out with a matching underwear and nothing happens like someone's seeing this underwear like even when the date's over you got

to find another club you got to find something yeah do they look at it like that or do they view themselves as the catch and therefore they're trying to like protect themselves from being caught they want to be the shiniest object but they still want you know the glass case in front of it to make sure that they're not chosen that they are the ones that are doing the choosing yeah i don't know i think over time that uh that glass shield has gone down i think like we're approaching a time where it's definitely not equal but women can be as much hoes as guys can like we're very close to that equal playing field and it's a beautiful thing you like that do you like that like are we worried about that for kids and shit

no i don't want my daughter getting just smoked because i think it's more healthy. It's more so like how Europe is. They're just so open about sexuality where it's not taboo. So now they don't have to... It doesn't become the thing that, oh, I can't do, so now I want to do it. Man, when I remember when I was in Europe, man, I was dating this girl and I went to her...

I went to go visit her in Denmark or whatever. And I was staying with her and her family. And I was staying with her in like a denmark or whatever that i was staying with like her and her family and like i was staying with her in like her room or whatever yeah i remember like looking at the pops like i'm such a creep you're just gonna let me smash your daughter in your house bro but come on bro make me sleep on the couch or some shit maybe sleep in some other room i'm not gonna just dick down your daughter in your fucking house how old is it huh how old like 21 you wasn't fucking at 21 i was definitely fucking the shit out of his daughter bro don't get don't get twisted no but i'm saying you america bro you for america dude come on in your house for america open hagen

real talk dude i was playing bruce springsteen while I was doing that shit. Born in the USA. Nothing being born out of you. There's the hypocrisy bullshit right here. Nah, what you talking about? Because you was in your parents crib fucking.

Yeah, but you were being sneaky about it. Nah, nah, nah. And she was. He's saying it's the fact

that his dad just was okay with like the openness of it. Oh yeah, you're not fucking my daughter in my house bro. Make him sneak around. But you're fucking in your house.

You're not fucking my daughter in my house bro. Yeah, he's fucking other people's daughters in his house. Yeah. Nah fucking Other people's daughters In his house Yeah He's not gonna fuck He's not gonna let someone

Fuck your kid You could My son could fuck His girl in my house But you're not gonna Fuck my daughter In my house bro Go to your parents house

You know what I'm saying Like me Like I got a relationship With her As a father I gotta have a relationship With your girls My son's girl's dad.

And it's like this. Like, yo, son, my son is smashing your girl to fuck out. You know, she's squealing crazy. You know what I mean? Oink, oink, shower time. There's no game. Red wave. Real talk.

The red wave. It's like, yo, why don't you put some bleach on the menu because we need to clean. That's what it is. But at the same time i'll be like i respect if you don't want your daughter getting smithereened in your home yeah you pay the rent there you pay electricity yeah you know smoke damage from the fucking smithereens just getting smoked out come on and you could take some of her you could put on a bagel with cream cheese after what my son's doing to it. That's smoke. That salmon is smoke.

That's salmon. You're okay. Look at the locks of the capers, huh? Come on. You're okay with your daughter being smoked out as long as it's not in your house. No, no. My daughter is never getting smoked out. You see this?

Even though she is, she isn't. I'm with you 100%. She is, but she isn't. I don't even hear about it. I'm looking at her, and I know when she's like, hey, I'm not coming home tonight. I'm going to stay at Daryl's house or it like I'm looking at her and I know when she's like hey I'm not coming home tonight I'm gonna

stay at Daryl's house or whatever I'm looking at her I'm like listen here bitch yo you keep that but shut but you know she not say what

but you know she not I know she gonna be throat in him oh my god I reached your limit I reached your limit I reached your limit I'm your limit I reached your limit I'm trying to be all progressive

getting these goddamn ice pops never seen she was a kid giving this bitch practice damn it you know what I'm saying yeah she just tearing the tops off like this foreskin

on a gym yeah what that's how they used to circumcise them I don't like that they used to circumcise them like that

you didn't know that come on bro that's that bris damn i'd be in a wheelchair with that looking like you never seen some hasidic jews eat some ice pops probably tearing that shit off the top so quick suck it real fast oh dude they open it they never use scissors nothing just get to eating bro come on no but now i'm with you though i'm with you come on my daughter marries a nice guy they have a kid i'll be like that's weird you adopt y'all got a kid yeah yeah how y'all got a kid

Yeah How y'all get Why you pregnant I'm playing dumb the whole time How did you get pregnant Oh did that guy That I've been feeding And shaking hand with

Bus come in ya I'm not saying that Is that what happened I'm not saying that That's horrifying But he's bus coming in Don't you make it a point To let everybody know

That you fuck Like I fuck your daughter I fuck your son You need my approval I fuck your daughter I fuck your sister You need my approval. I fuck your daughter. I fuck your sister You need my approval. That's you you're the guy If I was you know fucking my son

you're not fucking my son if I had a gay son I mean if my son was gay you're not fucking my son would you let him smoke it out though oh he is handling the

bastard hey bro yo let me tell you something I'll be knocking on the door I'm like keep going I'll be putting on Queen

I'll be putting on all that gay shit you know what I'm saying? Whatever gay music you need. Fuck Joe. Fuck Joe, man. Why are you gay? Fat bottom girls.

Turn this straight shit off. Rock song. Rock song. Yo, real talk. I'm not my son's not getting smoked out, bro. We're not going to be versatile out here, dog. You got to be a top. In my house, it's tops only.

Other people's houses, you get bottomed out. I don't want to hear about it. I can't go to the gym today. I'm a little sore. Shut your goddamn mouth about that shit, dude. I don't want to hear you a little sore. Going over speed bumps, bro. Get bottomed out. Get out of here, man. You really want to hear about that? Come on, dude.

You don't want to hear about that? Your daughter or your son getting smoked. Nah. What if he's a top, but he's still getting throated? Wait, so he's sucking dicks? He's sucking dicks? Yeah. So he's getting throated?

He's getting throated. The dangly thing. All that. Imagine you heard the gag reflex coming from your son. I heard my own son gag on dick. Oh, my God. Oh, dude. That's very difficult bro

that's super difficult he's gonna bust in giving the heimlich and shit you gotta save your kid's life from cum that got lodged in his throat I'm like what's lodged in his throat his buddy's just there cleaning cum out of his dick we're playing xbox there's something bro you gotta give him mouth to mouth you gotta let him handle that bro what if your son runs past you to go spit in the sink oh my god okay guys no no no no you're not gonna spit in my sink at least he's spitting he's not swallowing you're not spitting in my sink you're not in my sink not in my sink you gotta swallow run your ass outside run your ass outside you're not swallowing in my sink

meanwhile you're not spitting in my sink either stop sucking dick in my house I'm just up there I'm an angry dad like I don't even

get my dicks out anymore how you get out of your dick side why don't you just walk down like this and then oh my god no like you just

gotta face him yeah yeah yeah oh come on bro nobody talks about that part of having a gay kid. Like, nobody ever talks about that. Like, I'm totally fine with you being gay. Just don't be all gay about it. You know what I mean?

In my house, like, be in love with men and want to love men, but I don't want you getting smoked. Yeah, go to a truck stop. Back in the old days. Yeah, aren't there places for this? There's got to be places for this, dude. Come on. Go to YM for this, dude. Come on. Go to YMCA.

It's progressive out there. Yeah, it's full of cum in my home. Yeah, right here it's much less progressive. We can't have this goddamn jelly donut walking around my house. Come on. A little Boston cream pie walking around. Drobbling all over the living room. Come on, dude.

Playing Hansel and Gretel all over the goddamn living room. You've got a younger sister, dude. What kind of example are you setting? Oh, thank God. I thought you were going living room. You've got a younger sister, dude. What kind of example are you selling? Thank God. I thought you were going some other way. No, I wasn't bro.

You're crazy. Got a younger sister, dude. She's stuck in the dryer right now. What are you doing? Come on, dude. I start a white boy.

I swear you get on a roll. Who brought us there? Nah, you brought us there. One of y'all brought us there. That was you. It was one of y'all. The Browns done brought us there us there. One of y'all brought us there. That was you. It was one of y'all. The Browns done brought us there. Yeah.

One of y'all says some shit about like, would you, what would you do? Yeah, we're thinking of wood. You said that is some real white boy ass shit. No, he got us there because you said. Run to the sink. He was fucking the daughters and the sons. Oh, yeah.

You trying to make me get in the process. Yeah. I didn't want the company. That was sneaky. I don't want to be alone in here. I dare you, bro. Yo, you go yo anyway bro i don't know that's a real tricky one man it's gonna be difficult for me to go through that would you rather your daughter get smoked out in your home or plastic surgery i'm not against my daughter getting plastic what i'm against is my daughter Not loving herself

Cause I feel like I failed as a parent Why she gets smoked out By some random dude In your house though You didn't say random Ain't gonna be no Random guy

That walks into my house You're not gonna Fuck my daughter Without saying hello to me First You know what I mean And don't be no like Hey how you doing

Then go up to the room And smoke out my daughter That's disrespectful That's disrespectful How you supposed to How you supposed to do it You feel me a little bit like You got fucking Even if you talk to me Then you think You can just fuck my daughter You hear the fire alarm That's disrespectful. How are you supposed to do it? You feel me a little bit?

You got fucking, even if you talk to me, then you think you can just fuck my daughter? You hear the fire alarm going off? You got your fucking mind? All right, all right. So I'm the dad. Go.

You knock on the door. Come. Yo, what's up? Oh, your dad's black? That's the first thing I'm going to say. Go on. Better than the dad

and the boyfriend. Wait a minute, wait a minute. What's going on? What's the scenario I'm still the dad I'm the dad You're dating my daughter You come

You're not gonna do it Who am I No no But it's my house I'm worried about Yeah We're not talking about you I'm the dad

You're the son Can I be someone No shut up Mark You're the girl You're the doorknob Someone grab him Okay You go

You go Okay you said that The dude can't just come And say hi to you and go fuck your daughter. So how is he supposed to- You show up. Okay. All right. I'm the kid.

I'll fuck your daughter. I'll show you what you can or can't do. Hello. But wait. What's your name? Does your daughter have your nose though? Because it might not. No, that hurt my feelings, bro.

I'm sorry. That one hurt my feelings. He looks like he just saw the Alex Trebek video all over again, bro. That one hurt my feelings, bro. One tear, he's like, damn, man. That shit got me choked up. Are we talking about post-op? What?

Wait, you want him to want a fucking daughter? You talking about my unborn daughter, bro? Damn, bro. You want him to want a fucking daughter? Hey, Al, can we talk about your unborn daughter?

So, which one? You're gonna have to sing a fucking DMX video. Leticia, Chrisisha, Chrisisha. No, no. In all seriousness.

In all seriousness. All right. She got the hook, nose, or not. It doesn't matter. It's beautiful. Beautiful young lady. I'm coming to smash it out. Yeah.

That's what I'm saying. Thank you. Thank you for speaking. Come on. All right. Go, go, go, go. All right. Knock, knock, knock.

Okay. Knocks on the doorknob. Right? No, this motherfucker. I know. Come on. This motherfucker. You just grabbed me. Knocks on the doorknob. This motherfucker. You just grabbed me. You just grabbed my doorknob. You just grabbed my doorknob. Stop it.

You did this. Let me throw something at him. You did this. Okay, go. You know what we need? It's just like, we don't have a tank of water that he could be sitting on top of. Ideally, for the podcast, we need a tank of water. We need the Nickelode top of ideally for the podcast we need the nickelodeon slime the slime he called it glue how poor was alex

he didn't know what slime was bro you know the boogers when the boogers be coming down fucking nickelodeon light we had the hot box man go go go so you're not gonna do it right i'm not gonna do it shut up mark good all right welcome welcome alex it's nice to meet you i've heard a lot about you nice to meet you too michelle i'm here to see veronica i know who you're here to see motherfucker you're here to see my wife motherfucker you're obviously here to see Veronica I know who you're here to see Motherfucker You ain't here to see my wife Motherfucker You're obviously here to see My daughter

You're a very beautiful daughter Thank you Will I be able to take her out? Yeah you can take her out Okay She told me I know what's going on I know why you're coming

Oh okay Yeah why don't you come Into the kitchen man And hang out Oh nah I'm fine I'll just go Up to your daughter's room You'll go where?

I'll go up to your daughter's room How you know go where? I'll go up to your daughter's room. How you know it's up? You got multiple floors, baby. But how you know her room is up? How you know her room is up? Mr. Schultz, you have her in a dungeon? Nah. She could be on ground level.

Oh, okay. So you don't know where the room is, but you do. Just making sure. See, I'm already on to you, Alex. I'm already on to you. I. I'm already on to you. I'm sorry, Mr. Schultz. It's okay. So is your daughter available?

My daughter is available. She'll be down in a moment, but why don't you come inside out of the rain? You don't want to fuck up your sneakers. You blacks love them shits, don't you? What do you mean? I got these plastic bags tied around my foot. Okay. I'm still cold in this whole fucking thing.

Shut the door. Mark, please. Mark, please. The doorknob's on the outside too, Mark. It's wet. It's wet out here. Mark, please. I'm so wet.

Mark, please. What was the doorknob saying when Epstein hung on it? It was also hanging in the doorknob. That was a catch-22. Fuck. All right. So, listen, yeah. I think

the reality is with our sketch I'm not gonna be okay with a I don't even think I wanna meet my girl's boyfriend this is gonna be

uncomfortable dude why do we have to fuck you guys why can't they just be buddies you're handling it so bad it's better if they're gonna do it regardless it's better to do it

in an environment I don't subscribe to that it's better I think they're equally bad yeah there's no better award do heroin in my house it's a little better yeah it's a weird where... I don't subscribe to that. It's better. I think they're equally bad. There's no better or worse. Do heroin in my house. It's a little better. Yeah, it's a weird thing. If they're hiding it, it's worse. Because if I know... Well, it's uncomfortable

because you know that my daughter is going to have the tightest pants. Oh my god! Stop! Hey, Covino! Hey, Covino! Big pussy having ass daughter? You thought we were going to have the big box? Is that what your daughter is going to have?

Ride a tricycle in and out of it? Is that what's going to happen? Garage door on the front, bro, coming up. Yo, come on, bro. Y'all are going to have the big box daughters? Is that what you're going to have? Storage locker, bro. Come on, dog.

The fucking tennis racket. Real talk. You can't have that storage unit. She's going to have the storage unit. Storage wars, baby. You want the storage're going to have? Storage locker, bro. Come on, dog. You can't have that. Real talk. You can't have that storage unit. She's going to have the storage unit. Storage wars, baby. You want the storage wars, pussy? Come on, dude. How much that locker worth?

Oh, my God. Real talk. Seriously, Al. I'm tapping out. That's crazy. Yo, I'm telling my- You can't talk about your daughter's box. I don't care if she's not born yet.

My daughter's going to have the tight one, and my son's going to have the big, dark, big, dark. Back it on up. Back it on. Big dick. Back it on up. Back it on up, sir. Back it on up because the big dick is coming. Oh, my God. Right this way, baby. Real talk.

So just keep it 100, Al. So here's why. You're cool your daughter having the huge box, bro? Nah. What does she got, the hollows? She got the hollows? What's the hollows? I don't know, dude.

She got the hollows, bro. Oh, one you just inside, you don't feel anything? You don't feel nothing. Sleepy hollow, bro. The bird box. She got a motherfucker on a horseback with no head. Just galloping through your daughter's box. No Johnny Depp.

Only Johnny Depp. That's the sleepy hollow the graveyard giddy up giddy up is that what she got Al? the headless horseman come on Al come on Al

you can't have that you can't have that come on, Al. You can't have that. Al, you can't have that. Come on. My daughter's box is going to be like a paper shredder, bro. You can't even get loose leaf in there. Slice, slice, Al. Mark is a granddaddy.

He's thought about your daughter's pussy. He needs to be attacked, too. Mark, you better keep it quiet over here. I'm just an innocent norna. Come on. I didn't do anything. Your daughter did this to me. These are improv games, Mark.

You should play it. He is not breaking character. He's locked into doorknobs. Yes, and your daughter's high. Yes, and she's tall. Yo, real talk. Don't wish big pussy on your daughter, bro. Yeah.

That's going to be a problem. She can meet the man of her dreams, but he don't fit. Mm. Mm-hmm. Yeah. You got to hope your daughter got that Thai thang. Yeah. Yo, you got to hope.

I hope she has a normal pussy. Nah, you want her pussy to sound like a Thai dish. You want like when a guy gets in there, he's like, muscle man. Muscle man. Muscle man. Ba-ding, ba-ding, ba-ding. Tom Yum. But if it's too tight, they are not quick and she's never going to be able to get off.

It is what it is, bro. Yeah, it is what it is. That's the casualties of a dice game. You're so stupid. never gonna be able to get off it is what it is yeah it is what it is that's the casualties of a dice game that's what that is sometimes there's casualties to a dice game bro sometimes you crap out yeah and that's what that is that is true okay that shit gonna be tighter than a turd cutter alex Turd Cutter Alex. That coochie going to be tighter than a turd cutter. I think we got it, guys. Okay, fine. The only two things we missed is fucking Rudy Giuliani in front of the four seasons.

Yo, can we talk about that shit real quick? That dumb no neck having nincompoop. This motherfucker. So the Trump, the Trump fucking, whatever they're called. What are they called? Also, Al did not browse his name even closer. I know, I know. Mark, you couldn't let me get off the hook with that?

I thought that's why we were laughing. Yeah, what? He goes, yeah, anyway, still got to talk about rubity-boobity-bobity. I sounded like Biden just now. He sounded like. And I just kept it moving too. I was like, Rudy boobily bobbily He's still speaking Thai

He sounds like Tyra Strong bro Come on out It was that tight puss man See that tight puss Have you speaking different languages bro That tight puss have you different languages You do a little Kegel. Son, have you ever felt a Kegel on your dick vein?

Yeah. That shit is... You got a dick aorta? Mm. You got a dick aorta? Yo. Yo. Yo.

Son. Y'all never felt a Kegel on your dick aorta? You ever had that big vein that run down the back that might bring the pee to the end? I'm not really sure. Yeah. But do you know the one I'm talking about it's like you said big i didn't know you're talking about the interstate i'm talking about that interstate that 101 yeah the runway the runway yeah orange cones that aorta that's that aorta and the kegel gets into the finger trap uh-huh is that what you're talking about what is that the kegel gets into the finger trap uh-huh is that what you're talking about what is that the kegel gets into the finger that kegel gets that shit locked yeah right on that aorta

gets the teeth dug in you ever experienced that before ouch ouch is right you can't bring teeth into the what teeth oh you never had kegels so tight it feel like teeth no bear trap coochie you never had that you never had the clamps you never had the coochie clamps yeah you never had that? You never had the clamps? You never had the coochie clamps? Yeah. You never had the dump start? Yo, we back on this. Yeah, we're coming on this. Yeah, you never had that coochie take a bite out of crime?

You never had? That's how we all got circumcised. That's how you know Mark ain't fucked yet. Wait, does that really happen though? What the hell? All right, guys, let's take a break right quick.

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Let's get back to the show. All right, all right, all right. My bad, my bad. So Giuliani, right? Yeah. How do you say his name again? Bubbly Bobly. Bubbly Bobly. Rudy you say his name again? Bubbly Bobbly. Bubbly Bobbly.

Rudy Giuliani. Rudy Bubbly Bobbly. So Rudy Bubbly Bobbly, he's out here, right? Bubbly Bobbling. So basically the Trump team calls a press conference, right, to talk about this voter fraud, and they got new information to prove there's some real voter fraud. So they say it's going to be at the Four Seasons Total Landscaping.

I assume someone on the team tried to book the four seasons in philadelphia and trump tweeted that he said we're at big press conference at the four seasons he doesn't say total landscaping in his tweet not the original okay interesting so it's gonna be the four seasons what no the fact that he didn't say that originally is absolutely and instead of just going yo we made a mistake. My bad. They booked the thing. Over the top. Over the top. They doubled down.

And it's so fucking funny. But then another part of me is going, is this how they steal the news cycle? You know what I'm saying? Like, is this the whole, are they running game? Are they like, yo, let's make this monumental fuck up. I think somebody tweeted that the total sea, whatever, total landscaping between a sex shop and something else yeah it's between a crematorium and a dildo shop is the way they got worded out that i was funny calling a sex shop a dildo shop because there's no sex happening at a sex shop no that's true right like it's for people who aren't having but uh so they go through this press conference and they say they're a little bullshit, this, that, the other. But I just think it's so fucking funny,

but it has to be planned. I don't think this is a mistake. I think they do this on purpose, no? I don't know. I don't know. Really? You wouldn't just cancel it? I just think they're scrambling. They needed to get a message out there,

and it's like, we can't find a new location. This shit is already set up. Fuck it, let's just go. I mean, this is just so funny. The team that goes there to set up a conference and they're starting to realize what's happening bro and now trump didn't go no it was just going to be his team yeah right i just think it's so fucking did you watch it no i mean i saw the clips that came out of it but like i didn't watch the whole thing did you watch it not the whole thing just also clips but just rudy julianne all the

things he was saying he got ptsd from stopping first bro i was not feeling it he remembers those yeah that was bad days in new york wait a minute was he stopping first or was that uh the short dude bloomberg i think it was bloomberg bloomberg was stopping first juliani was like italian mob he was going after right now but yeah but he cracked that on crime. Crazy. Oh, he did? Yeah, super crazy. Interesting. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Now, look, before Giuliani was like a Trump lackey,

he was beloved by New York. He was beloved outside of New York. He fucked it up for himself. He really did. Outside of New York, we remembered him

as the guy that fucking came, like he handled up in 9-11 and he was, yo, this is such a great voice for the city and now you look at him and it's like, oh, this is sad.

He had like a presidential run, right? He had a presidential run. Low key, he was yo this is such a great voice for the city and now you look at him it's like oh this is sad he had a presidential run right he did a presidential run low-key he was you know like the harvey dent character now you guys can go nerd out but like in uh now you guys can go out of heart but uh he you know how like harvey dent was like i'm willing to do whatever it takes i'm willing to get like kill this that the other here we go they just bump foreheads uh high four but uh but yeah i think that's what giuliani actually was like that motherfucker should have got killed by the mob i'm shocked that he didn't get killed by the mob like back when he was like a da and the mob was like actually he took down the mob but the mob respects uh people doing their job that's right you're right about that

that is important distinction the mob is not angry at cops because they know they're doing something illegal and cops are trying to catch them yeah i think they're like if the cops start doing illegal shit to catch them they're like oh now you're the mob you're breaking the law they don't like that why are you coming to me me? You can get God just like us. Exactly. I think that's it. Okay. But we got to have like a mobster on this fucking thing. Yeah, that'd be sick. I'm fascinated with it.

Just not that same guy that tells his same fucking story over and over. I know the exact, Michael Franchese or whatever the fuck. I know exactly who you're talking about. Yeah, yeah. This guy made a lot of money. He's still hustling. Yeah, I know. They found a way to flip it.

Yep. Ah, dude, that's all they are, those guys. It's the guy who wrote the CIA book, The Confessions of a... Economic Hitman.

Economic Hitman. Like, he made money fucking over all these countries and getting them to sign these horrible deals. Yeah. And now he's making money writing a book

about how fucked up he is. Yeah. And that's what these mobsters are doing. They made money ripping off all these people and now they're making money writing books

about how they ripped off all these people. Let us make some money off you. Come on the podcast, yo. But just in case you're still connected, you're a great guy. All right. What else we got, boys? We should wrap up soon. Did you guys see the thing about Van Jones?

Mistaking. The funniest part about that? I mean, Beyonce from Mary J. Blige. And the funniest part about that shit is beyonce from mary j blige and the funniest part about that shit is that everybody confuses van jones and van lathan oh yeah so they were going through it like van's twitter was on fire and all it takes is one person tweeting you know how to fuck van lathan confuse him and you're not gonna look up the video you're like come on van you're supposed to be one of us he's probably the van that pops up you're not thinking about multiple vans who are famous black people in entertainment yeah that are journalists yeah what an odd named van i don't think about that

so you just see the first van oh it must be this guy boom and then you see somebody tweet about it and then you're like oh this guy's a moron and then you tweet about that poor van what is the i like saying van having fun with it oh yeah he yeah. He leaned in. He ended up going on the board. That was funny. What is the white equivalent to mixing up Mary J. Blige and Beyonce? What do you mean the white equivalent? Like, what would the white equivalent be like? Springsteen and Bon Jovi. Oh, I see. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Springsteen and Bon Jovi. In Jersey in particular, where that's like they're fucking guys. Swear to God, not lying. Same person in my eyes. Swear to God. I cannot tell you which one is the other. I know one Bon Jovi song. Don't stop. No, I'm not lying Same person in my eyes I swear to God I cannot tell you Which one is the other I know one Bon Jovi song

Don't stop Believe in No I'm sure I've heard That's Journey I think That's my band Oh man I was on board With that shit son I'm stripping your white card

Yo My white card been gone bro What's the Bon Jovi one We don't have a home A man without an island Yeah, living on a prayer Living on a prayer You know, the only reason I know this

Is because you had a joke with living on a prayer Where you were singing it Oh, yeah Where you had the black guy rapping Or you were rapping And then a black guy looked at you And you just started drumming right away That was it

I was like I was walking down the street Rapping with my hands Doing biggie shit I was like, fuck that I preach it My non reaches And a black dude

like saw me doing it and I immediately just started like airing something oh that's funny don't stop believing yeah

all the reason I know that song low key that's a real thing that happened like I was rapping with my hands and a dude saw me

on the subway and I got so embarrassed that I was caught doing it seriously and I literally I was just like, yeah, man. Oh, he would have fucked with you crazy. He's like, oh shit, he's a cool white boy. Nah, man. Oh, God.

That's just when you're young and insecure. Nah, that's true. Oh, dude. Oh, dude. How many awkward interactions in your life have taken place on public transportation? Quite a few. I'm trying to think of what's like a few. Like what percentage of the awkward things that you remember?

I remember I took a picture of Anthony Weiner on the subway and I had the flash on. No. And I went down. I was like, oh, fuck, he's taking a picture. And I went down. He saw the flash go off. My man was ready to kill me. Like jaw clench fucking glaring at me.

And I'm looking at Anthony We weiner like am i about to get my ass beat by the guy who took a picture of his dick on the internet bro it's not the worst picture of you on the internet i was a little bit nervous at first and then i was like what this guy's dick is all over the place i can't take a picture of his face i started kind of looking back like i mean really what's gonna happen yeah i gave you good life. You should be happy you got good life. I just feel like because we grew up in this very weird thing where we are in such close proximity to all these people we don't know, it's rife for embarrassment. Because you're not going to be as embarrassed if something happens in front of people you know. If you fall in front of your friends, you're like, ah, it's no big deal. But if you trip on a subway

and you got a whole high school of kids going, ah, this fucking idiot. That's definitely happened to me. Or if you're wearing something stupid. I used to have long hair as a kid. People used to think I was a girl. And I had the Jordans, the Jordan 11s, the patent leather ones.

But I had the baby blue ones. And those hadn't crossed over just yet. Come on, son. So this dude on the subway was like, excuse ma'am see you can't be pretty with a big nose piece of shit but he called me ma'am bro and it was like oh dude did you shave off your head that day imagine imagine i just went right to the baldy but yeah like i'm trying to think like do we get more used to public humiliation because we're forced to be in these environments where around like strangers more? Like for extended periods of time?

New Yorkers, you mean? Yeah, like when we fall asleep on the subway. Like how many times you fell asleep looking crazy on the subway and like someone's got to wake you up because you're like leaning on them and shit? Yeah, I've had that. on the subway and like someone's got to wake you up because you're like leaning on them and shit.

Yeah. Yeah, I've had that. I'm just wondering if we're more accustomed to like, if we're like more used to, I guess, looking stupid in front of strangers.

Growing up in New York, you got to get used to just always being accosted in general. Yeah. Homeless people, it's always some shit going on that's going to fuck with you.

And maybe we're like, we understand the fact that like something that people see doesn't really matter because you'll never see those people again. Yeah. Where if you grew up in a smaller community, those things that happen to you, everybody remembers they bring up. Yeah.

It's a small community. We see each other every day. Yeah. Yeah, no, that definitely catches up to you. I remember being like first time I came to New York being like super naive or like first time I ever traveled with my parents. I remember being like first time I came to New York being like super naive or like first time I ever traveled my parents like like growing up. If anyone ever talked to you in my neighborhood, like they were like a neighbor, like a friend or something. They got you.

I was on the subway one time. This is like a year and a half ago. And I'm sitting there. There's like street performers dancing. He's got no shirt on. He's like sweating, like flicking sweat on everyone. And he comes over like, yo, can I have some water? I was like, yeah.

And I gave him like my water bottle. And he like drank from the water bottle. I put his lips all over like my like reusable water bottle. And he was like, yo, thanks, bro. And I gave him my water bottle. And he drank from the water bottle. He put his lips all over my reusable water bottle. And he was like, yo, thanks, bro. And gave it back. And I was like, all right. And that was it. I just had to have this guy's gross-ass water bottle mouth all over my shit.

Yeah, you a wild boy for that, bro. I just thought it was the right thing to do. I was like, I guess you give these guys water? I don't know. That's wild. I had no idea. Oh, I got caught one time in France doing the same shit. when i was really young we were going around and like these like uh i'm sure you did and he's like north africa people's mouth on your i know right yeah which bottle we talking about yeah fucking doorknob these senegalese guys would like do this trick

where they'd be like yo like uh you want a bracelet or like oh look at this like hold this really fast and it was like a piece of string. And then you put your finger out. Or like, they would like, you put your hand out and they would put it on your finger. And then they'd make a bracelet on your finger. Oh, that's right. And then you have to pay for the bracelet. It's a really interesting hustle.

You're attached to the guy now. Yeah. And then he spends two minutes. He makes you this sick ass bracelet. And he goes, yo, this is yours. And I'm like, oh, thanks so much. He's like, do you have any money for me? And then you're like, no.

But like three times in a row, I got caught walking on the streets of france like my parents are trying to move and i'm just getting hung up by these like senegalese guys yeah there's entire economies built off taking advantage of tourists that are trying to be polite yeah right like the whole mixtape economy oh yeah like you got hey man you like rap music they never asked the organization they're looking for like some white dude with like clogs and socks. You know, some German who's never seen a black guy before. He's going to get really excited. The Capri soccer pants? Yeah.

Oh, they got the Capri soccer pants and like a skinny sneaker, like a European's dress. It's over for you. And in Thai, they're literally going after. Oh, the cardboard activists? Excuse me, do you have a moment for women's rights? Yeah. Women. No, they're real i gosh heard women's rights he's like what kind of hustle is this oh my god bro he thought

they were the same ones as like can we raise some money for my basketball team oh my god you didn't what about environment you thought all them shits are fake? All of them are fake. So girl, pink hair comes up to us. Can you help us get rights? You're like fucking hustler. What are you trying to get out of you? Just your name and your email? What are you trying to get out of me?

Commission. I think you work on commission. I think you're an activist for commission. I don't believe that shit for a second. What money do they get? Why would you work so hard to collect all your money? How you got an iPad?

You got a fucking slave computer? They give it to you. Give me what? They give it You got a fucking slave computer? They give it to you. Give me what? The iPad. They give it to the iPad, not you. They give it to the worker. How you think they got the iPad at fucking Starbucks? I'm saying I don't trust the company that's hiring all these people, having them hustle.

Nobody hustles that hard for fucking free, for activism. Activists got a table. Gandhi didn't need for six years to be free, bro. Literally, he worked so hard for activism. He walked. You could join him if you wanted. He's just taking a nice stroll i mean that's all he's strolling yo this guy won't give nobody money bro i got got for 30 a month because i thought the kid recognized me and then i was like man fuck he was looking at me for a second. I was like, what's up?

And he was like, you got a moment for kids? I was like, shit. I got to talk to this fucking kid. And you gave him 30 a month? How many fucking kids, bro? How many Indian kids can you support for that shit? I swear to God, he showed me the brown kids, and I couldn't say no.

What kind of brown? There was one Indian. It was enough. And they're not even going to the Indians, bro. I know, yo. I know, but I can't say no to the Indian. That's a good-ass hustle, though. It's a good hustle.

Just have a bunch of pictures of poor kids of all different races, and you just pull up the picture of whoever the person you're talking to. Can you pick where it goes? Yo. Do you get to choose one? No, no. I'm talking about a fake. Like one of Akash's fake things that he...

I can't believe y'all believe those environmentalists, yo. Son, it's real. I knew a kid who would do it. And he made money? He made good money? They all broke, bro. They care about the environment. Ain't nobody rich care about the environment. That's broke people shit, bro. Actors. Leonardo DiCaprio.

That's your thing. They don't care about the environment. You just can't fuck 19-year-olds unless you care about something. You need a little distraction. Every time they're like, yo, are you 50 and fucking 19-year- year olds He's like yeah But the koalas We gotta save the koalas The elephant seals baby

Come on You ain't getting my money activist You a crazy boy bro Alright man Let's wrap it up man This is a long episode We love y'all We appreciate y'all

We are going to get through this Next four years The same way we got through The last four years man. This is a long episode. We love y'all. We appreciate y'all. We are going to get through this next four years the same way we got through the last four years, the same way we got through the last four years of that. We're going to stop being so emotional about as long as everything's legit. If obviously there's some crazy fraud, then yeah, we should look into that, but I don't really think there is.

We're going to get through it the way we always get through it. We have this way of building up elections as if they're the end of the world. Well, so far, we've had quite a few. the way we always get through it. We have this way of building up elections as if they're the end of the world. Well, so far, we've had quite a few. The world hasn't ended just yet. Every election is the most important. Until the next one. Until the next one. We're going to be okay.

Y'all are going to stop giving a fuck about elections. Within six months, this corona shit gone. Let's be honest. This corona shit is gone. Over. By 2021, we're back on tour. Everything's cool. Everything's popping. We we back on tour. Everything's cool. Everything's popping. We're eating inside restaurants.

Everything's Gucci. So let's get back to business. Let's keep doing what we're doing. We love y'all. We appreciate y'all. And the takeover continues. Now, guys, if this wasn't enough for you, you know Friday we on Patreon. Patreon.com slash Flavorant2.

We do a new episode every single Friday at Patreon. $5 a month. You get four episodes a month. It's the best deal in the business. You know what I mean? You spend $5 on cups of coffee. We out here giving you premium content for less than that shit. We might have to bump up the prices, frankly,

for the motherfucking service we provide out here. That's true. You know what I mean? Number one comedy Patreon in the world for a reason. Yeah, we're going to brag a little bit because when you work this hard you gotta enjoy it a bit man asshole army thank y'all for spreading the word man never advertise a day in our lives you know outside of trying to give y'all the the greatest content we possibly could man we're glad that you appreciate it so keep on spreading the word for us man and we will keep on delivering thank you patreon we will see you if

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