Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh - Do Vegetables Need Consent? w/ Mike Feeney

Episode Date: May 12, 2020

This week Andrew Schulz, Akaash SIngh, AlexxMedia and Mark Gagnon are joined by Mike Feeney to discuss Tekashi 6ix9ine rewriting the street code, defending your girl's honor, MMA being the best because fighters have no control, which race has the best food, women in coma's giving birth and much more. INDULGE! Check out Mike Feeney's new stand up speacial here: https://youtu.be/YG2MgJiTu3o Want an extra episode a week? Join the Flagrant Army www.Patreon.com/FLAGRANT2

whatever let's get into it let's have some good shit rose mcgowan is there anybody who didn't try to rape her let's let's let's go through a list of people that were in hollywood it's getting to the point where like i don't know if you guys uh uh listening right now know what we're talking about but apparently she accused um bill maher of of like saying i have a huge cock or something to her in a creepy way apparently yeah whispered into her ear i have a huge cock yeah maybe he's just confiding in her you know maybe it's hard you don't know what it's like carrying around this huge cock all day yeah rose mcgowan uh bill maher whispering to her about his huge cock during 1990s show.

Here's what I'll have to say. I don't want to like victim blame or whatever those things are. You know what I mean? Those things. But if everybody tries you, if literally everybody in your life tries you, you got to start looking at you. You might be throwing out some attitude. You might be throwing out – because. You might be throwing out something. Because I know as a dude, right?

Like when we were all in college, you knew the girls that was giving pussy up to everybody. You knew the girls. And dudes would try those girls with a different level of spiciness than they would try the girl who nobody ever hooked up with. ever hooked up with. So maybe the rumor on the street, Rose, was that you were out there getting plugged by everyone in Hollywood and all you had to whisper

in your ear is like, yo, I got a big cock and then that works. You know what? I'm just, is that reasonable? I feel like I've heard it. Al's shaking his head.

Because it's not reasonable. Why is it not reasonable? We're the most reasonable people in the podcasting world that's you don't even believe that's why you know no it's isn't it it's not weird it's not weird 1990s 30 years ago you remember what some old guy whispered in your fucking ear i have a big cock yeah but i'm just saying i think that was i think that was the culture in ho. So it's like, I think. Word, no. She want to see that cock.

Hey, here's what. She hasn't forgot about it. I know I've heard women. That I agree. I've heard female comics do this joke of, I wish there was a way to know if a guy has a big cock or not before you have sex with him. There is. What Bill Maher tried to tell you.

He tried to do you a favor. He's doing what you say you want. Yeah, you don't even wear sweatpants. You don't even look at his fucking dick prints trying to see how big you'd be when he's doing what you say you want yeah you need to wear sweatpants you need to look at his fucking dick prints trying to see how big you'd be when he's hard this is telling you this shit is big bro hey listen secrets out i don't know if i believe his dick is big my dick is not i'm trying to help people he's trying to help people but he's trying to help is that i know that sounds like a crazy thing to say but is that that's not reasonable like you don't have to look at your behavior a

little bit like if every dude in hollywood is just feeling so audacious that they'll whisper in your ear i have a huge cock like you don't think words on the street amongst the producers and people going yo rose is fucking for roles yo like one of these guys just needs to come out low low key one of these guys needs to come out and just go why is she acting like she wasn't training dick sucks for rolls like one of these guys just gotta say like if is one scene dead with one scene's last corona breath he gotta just be like she was training dick sucks for rolls one last corona ventilated breath he yanks out the tube and just goes, Rose was sucking dick for Rose. I'm saying, what?

Bro, I thought you were a fan of Charmed. Say again? I thought you were a fan of Charmed. Huge fan. She's in Charmed? Yeah, son. I knew I didn't like that show. The least charming.

Magic didn't even make this bitch charming. Charmed was really carried by Alyssa Milano, Sharon DeHardy. I heard nothing but she was a bitch until Rose McGowan started talking. Now we all forgot Shannon Doherty was bad. Yo, Shannon Doherty was a diva. But she understood when a man with power said, I got a big cock. She wasn't tripping off that, right? She understood that's how it goes. If you're a guy with a big cock and there's a girl next to you that's hot,

there's this knee jerk reaction. There's this version of like mantarettes where you got to be like, I'm a big cock. What do you even say to that? If someone said to that, if a girl leaned over to you, right? It goes, I got a really tight puss. What do you say to that? Me.

Like, do you go, like, how do you know? Like, how are you sure? Like, what do you say to that? If a girl goes, you got a tight puss, what do you say? I mean. I'm going to let Al answer this, so Akash, don't. You asked the wrong guy. I got no answer for him.

Akash would give her a diagnosis, bro. What if a girl said to you I got a really tight pussy Hey man good for you That's what you said You dap her up Okay I see you

That's the move Is to act unaffected But hey that's what's up I got you a girl Same girl And then get her What you do A girl goes

Yo I got a tight puss Oh you hitting them kegels Hitting them kegels, that's it. That's a setup. In today's days, that's me too. That is me too. She's trying to set you up with that lie. You think the girls are me too-ing us with that?

Yeah. Do you think it was possible? Actually, let's talk about this. Because she's going to deny the first comment, and then they're just going to record what you said after. You're just describing the size of your cock. And what is he supposed to do? Is he supposed to yell it?

Now he's bragging. You got to whisper it. You got to whisper it. It's for one person. Also, you don't want everybody to know that. Oh, that is another point. We can't have this like body shame, you know, community who's like,

don't make us feel shame for ourselves. We should be able to walk around naked. We should be able to be topless. We should be able to be fat if we want. What if my dick fat? If my dick fat, can I not tell people about that? Why is it that the penis

is something that you can't describe, but Lizzo can describe her whole body as big and beautiful? Why can't your dick be big and beautiful? Is body shame only for people, or like body positivity only for people who should be ashamed of their body? Yes.

So if Bill Maher got a big dick, he should be able to be proud of that just as much as Lizzo should be ashamed of their body? Yes. So if Bill Maher got a big dick, he should be able to be proud of that just as much as Lizzo should be proud of her body. It is culturally a bad thing for Jews to have a big dick. They be trying to chop pieces off their dick all the time. When you think about it, they do not like big dicks, bro. I didn't know where that was going.

It is true, bro. It's so funny. Back in the day, Moses dragging his dick up in that fucking mountain to get them tablets, right? And they're like, I got to snip a little of this off so I don't get, you know,

dragging on so many rocks. Real talk, man. That's true. Oh, fuck. That's why they write and read right to left. Why is that? Oh, no, I didn't figure the end of that part out. I'd be so impressed if you did.

I thought by the time I said it, I would have an answer. Then I didn't. I was a little bit insecure. I was like, how the fuck is he going to make this a big dick thing? I don't know. I don't fucking know. I don't know. Okay.

I've been super impressed. Almost the same as if he told me he had a big dick. What is sexually aggressive about saying you have a big dick? Yeah, because... If he said something about her, like, oh, I want to fuck you with my big dick, that's like, okay, chill. That is too far. That's messed up. But if you just say a thing about your own anatomy...

Or if you describe her anatomy. Too far, maybe. Yeah, that's messed up. But if you're describing your own body, what world do we live in where men cannot even describe their own body? It's what you have. You try to use the weapons at your disposal to get people to hook up. Why would you use the word weapon? We're trying to make this not assaulting. Well, the guy says, I have a penthouse apartment uptown.

That's what he uses to get girls. I have a huge penthouse. What if he said that? I have a penthouse apartment uptown. That's what he uses to get girls. I have a huge penthouse. What if he said that? I have a huge penthouse. And Whispers? Is that? I have a red Ferrari, 1990, Testarossa. What have you seen about his dog?

Yo, I have a huge cockapoo. I have, yeah, a brand new, blue nose. Maybe that's what he was saying. I have a huge cockapoo. It is weird what we can... He missed the last part. Maybe the whisper just didn't get there. But I do think there's something.

Do you think that he's going to lean over and do that to Priyanka Chopra? Absolutely. Nah. She's married. I don't think she is. Excuse me. I don't think he is.

Because she's married? Yeah, maybe. You see those lips on her, though? Who, Priyank? Yeah. That's how you get married. Oh, that's true. But like I'm saying, like, I just think, I think there are, don't get me wrong, every

girl experiences sexual harassment, right? Especially on the street, but let's not conflate these things. When you're on the street and you sexually harass, the assumption is you're never going to see that girl again. You're actually doing it to kind of impress your boys. Oh, interesting. I don't know if these construction workers, they're holding a fucking hammer, and they're in Timberland boots, and their jeans are all ripped, and they see a girl walking down a

dime piece, and they go, damn, girl, let me get that booty. I don't truly believe that they think the girl's going to stop and then come over and give them the number. No, they're just having fun. They're just trying to enjoy their job. Exactly. At your expense, right? Which is what they've been doing

to their coworkers all day, enjoying their job at their expense. This is what we do every single day. Yeah. Right? It gets boring on the podcast. Alex, you have abortions. Everybody's having fun.

Right? That's what we do to each other all the time, right? Now, I'm not justifying it. I'm just saying- But it is entertaining. It's entertainment. It is entertaining.

Now, that being said, now, I understand how that's inconvenient. That sucks to the girl, right? That being said, if a guy is leaning over and saying that to you on his show, granted it's the 90s, something had to happen between you guys where he felt comfortable enough to do that. You're a guest on his show. You don't even work on him.

You don't work for him. You don't really have a power dynamic over him in the 90s. Matter of fact, you might have been more popping than him in the 90s, low key. He was a big deal in the 90s. That's the last time she mattered until this. Real talk.

So something is going on. There's word on the street or you're putting out an energy. Now, I'm not saying it's right necessarily what a guy says, but you should take note, mental note. You might be putting out an energy that makes guys feel like

they should share their dick size with you. You know what? I'm wrong, Al. I'm not. Al, you're shaking your head. Son, I'm not saying anything verbally. It's your daughter. It's your daughter.

Your daughter comes to you. Every late night show I go on, the guys tell me how big their dicks are. Sit down. What's happening before that? Well, I'm asking them how big their dicks are. Well, bitch, maybe that's why right do you know what i'm saying like wouldn't you if it was your daughter someone you truly loved

and cared about wouldn't you get to the bottom of this yeah i don't i don't even want you wouldn't try to get to the bottom of this yeah i mean i'd be pissed at bill maher but i'd be try to get to the bottom of this? I mean, I'd be pissed at Bill Maher, but... I'd be trying to get to the bottom of Bill Maher. Son, honestly, I'm not even that pissed at Bill Maher. This rich Jewish dude, big dick, this guy owns the world. You know what? I'm like, thank you for being honest. I'd be pissed at Bill Maher if he was like...

Hey, what's the best policy? Honesty? I'd be pissed at Bill Maher if he was like. Hey, what's the best policy? Honesty. I'd be pissing Bill Maher if he was like, yo, hey, you know what? I think you're so talented. I think you're so. It's like, my daughter's not talented. She's a charm. What are you talking about?

This is Hickory Hocus. He's Hickory Hocus, right? It's not real. But if he was just kept in a fucking buck with her, I would be like, all right, that's what men do. This is a lesson you can learn. But you're putting out an energy out there. That's valid.

It is honest. It's honest. All these dudes pretending they're feminists and then trying to sleep with these girls at the rallies. You're a fucking creep to me. Thank you. You're phony. You're duplicitous. You're what?

Duplicitous. Son, did Nick Cage star in that movie? Jeez You're what? Duplicitous. Oh, son. Did Nick Cage star in that movie? Jeez. Son, no, he's multiplicitous. Oh, fuck. He can do whatever he wants, yo. He can do whatever he wants. I knew it was one of those.

Is that a spell from Charm, bro? Jeez. Son. But that's like deceitful. These guys were like, this is what a feminist looks like. That's what a rapist looks like. Son. 100%.

That's what I'm saying. So I'd sit down. I'd be like, listen, this is what dudes do. Now, you might be putting out an energy. And maybe it's just because you're social. You want to network. You want to be friends with everybody. But you're putting out an energy in some way that's making dudes feel comfortable being honest with you.

If you're not ready for that honesty, you need to put out a different energy so they feel like they got to lie. So I don't disagree. People would say blaming victims, whatever. Let's put that aside then for a second. What are you a victim of? What are you a victim of? Let's put that aside. That's what I'm saying.

That's what, it's like, isn't the timing a little odd? Go on. Rose McGowan is irrelevant. She's relevant in the 90s, completely irrelevant after, what, the late 90s until about 2018. Then she pops with the Me Too thing. Drop some allegations, whatever. Seems to me like that was her hit and then she needed a sequel. You waited a year

and a half to say this. Why didn't you just let all the allegations go at once? And guess who's been popping lately? Guess who's had a lot of viral videos during this whole Corona epidemic? Bill Maher? Big Dick Bill! Yo, you whole Corona epidemic. Bill Maher. Ooh. Big Dick Bill. Yo. You could have gone

to Billy Maher. You could have gone to Bill Maher in 2018 back when you were taking down Weinstein. But you didn't, huh? Huh. You did not.

Huh. So, listen, if it all happened to you, fine. If you're the victim, fine. Isn't the timing odd? That's all I would say. Statue of limitations on sexual harassment.

30 days. Son, I think that's generous. I'm going to be honest. It's a Macy's return policy. Yo. Hey, you kept it in for that long. Maybe you liked it. You know what I mean?

That's 30 days. You couldn't figure that shit out in 30 days. Yo, but you couldn't. Come on, bro. You couldn't bring your complaint here In 30 days Yo you couldn't Come on bro You couldn't bring your complaint here A couple words We're not talking about physical touch That's assault right

We're talking about words You have 30 days To complain about words No Just words 30 days tops I thought you were talking physical words 14 days

Yo son Fourth minute I'm with it I'm with it bro I knew within two hours If I was keeping my Oculus or not I knew within two hours If I was keeping my Oculus or not I knew within two hours If I was keeping my Oculus

Right You can't figure out In two hours If it was sexual and rassy enough Oh man You need You need a fucking 14 day

30 day We'll give them 30 days You need 30 days to figure out If that shit is sexual harassment And if not Shut it up Yo Yeah physically

No whatever You always bring that up Whenever you want How long have I been with my girl One year tops that shit is sexual harassment and if not shut it up yo yeah physically no whatever you always bring that up whenever you want how long i've been with my girl one year tops that's it none of you bitches can get me apparently bill maher was saying like it almost sounds like he was saying a joke okay go so she goes on his show this is the tweet

so she tweeted at him in order to get this allegation out yeah so she goes on his show Politically Incorrect yeah and he

I mean he kept it 100% that's the name of the show he on brand Bill Maher I'm just saying the show isn't describe my dick politely

you know what I'm saying it's Politically Incorrect so she goes on during a commercial break he leans over and goes Joe isn't describing my dick politely. You know what I'm saying? It's politically incorrect. So she goes on during a commercial break. He leans over and goes, my parents didn't give me a good face, but they did give me a huge cock. It's like, that's kind of like a joke. He's spitting.

He's just spitting, bro. He's just spitting. And he knows he ugly. And I respect his self-awareness. He does. He is ugly. Listen, and you can't judge a book by its cover we always say all the time he's just trying to tell you what's

inside the book yeah i've seen ghostbusters too yes you know the guy the painting yes okay don't bill maher look like the jewish version exactly it's so crazy like if somebody could put like Jewish filter on the guy in the painting, it's Bill Maher. Get that image up. I bet his soft dick like the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man though. Facts though. Came through. He just sounds like a guy with no game. Like the ones on.

Now that's kind of bars out. No, no, no. The ones on dating apps that they just put their height. I did tell my friends to do that. I did have. but i'm saying that's the equivalent of that it's like he's not tall yeah dick is tall but how does he know his dick's big if he's tiny like the fact that akash is small and he says his dick's small that's how i know it's tiny you ain't wrong you're right comparatively you ain't wrong when you're right

what you got there bro son you got there, bro? Son. You got a little stump town? Yeah, bro. Yeah? Like, what would you whisper into a girl's ear? What would you say? Like, how would you describe it?

My dick? Yeah. I would leave that to her imagination. Okay. But what would you say? I'd be like, hey, girl, look at me. Look at my body. Look at my face.

Dick matches. Think about it. Think about it. That's good good how rich must i be how would you how would you how would you big up your dick in the best way possible is it like soft is the skin soft hey girl let me tell you something my shit yeah it gets the job done sometimes i got to the civic addicts got a dick civic anyway all right well i just need to get that off my chest i was feeling a little annoyed by that but i think we hey you know what it didn't take you 15 years to get it off your chest isn't that funny is that crazy 30 days yo we giving girls 30 days to get this

sexual harassment off 30 days real talk and think about it yeah i don't even know i'll be honest with you i don't even know if it's 30 days from the incident i talk. And think about it. Yeah. I don't even know. I'll be honest with you. I don't even know if it's 30 days from the incident. I think it's just a flat month. Wait, what? I think it's just a month. So, like, anything that happens in May, you got to figure that out in May, bro. I think you got to figure it out in May, bro.

You get your cat calling done on the 28th. That's what I'm talking about. You know what I mean? Because think about it. Because leap year, February 29th, that ain't even really a day. And we're going to be out there barking. You can't get us. Because it's not a real day.

Now, what if your daughter gets sexually harassed? Then what? Cat called or sexually harassed? Both of them. If you're physically inconvenienced gets sexually harassed now what cat called or sexually harassed bofa like if she gets like let's just say anything if you're physically

inconvenienced in any way you might have to die if you're the guy you gotta kill the guy you might have to kill the guy huh in that month

no physical has no statute physical is always put a statute cause I'm gonna handle it what statute that day

I'm gonna handle it that day valid valid I almost had to blow up this fucking matcha store did I tell you guys about that at you because i'm gonna handle it what's that day i'm gonna handle it that day valid valid i almost had to blow up this fucking matcha store did i tell you guys oh yeah what ended up happening with that because the guy was rude to my girl she was waiting outside for social distancing when two other bitches was getting their matcha and then the guy tried to close the fucking place and he's like she's like i've been waiting outside from before four. So the guy was like, ugh, fine.

Come in, rolled his eyes, came in, made the matcha. She said, made a hell of shitty. So I had to go the next day. Can I be honest? This is the whitest story I've ever heard on every level.

Oh my God. Matcha, the guy rolled his eyes at the girl. Yeah. And then she was respecting social distancing in every way. This is the whitest story

I've ever heard I went the next day and I had a fucking conversation with that guy rolling eyes is a white hate crime that is real talk

don't roll your eyes a dude rolling his eyes at a girl that he just met is like come on bro and then he goes to the place the next day I don't want to speak

to your manager nah I spoke to him so what you said this is the whitest story ever I went with her I said wait outside I'm gonna go talk to this motherfucker I went and I spoke to him so what you said this is the whitest story ever i went with her i said wait outside i'm gonna go talk to this motherfucker i went i spoke to him and i said yo yo it's my girl's birthday

just go out there and just wave right just wave like that like that so he waves at my girl i go yo thank you i appreciate it i buy the match I was like, yo, did he learn a lesson? She goes, I mean, he waved at me. I was like, yeah, I told him to apologize. And I was like, you got to look at that girl and be nice no matter what. So that's what happens. Sometimes you got to teach a lesson. She got to know who the fucking king of the kingdom is.

Yo, you let him know. Son, I'm out here. What really happened? Nothing. We went back back i was a we went back we got there i was like i went outside with the electric bike man i can't let this electric bike be out wow you didn't even call it a motorcycle a motorcycle it's a my it's a bike bro it's an electric bike bro come on drew what's happening

i've literally thought about i'm like what am i supposed to do i'm supposed to knock this guy out for being completely reasonable my girl showed up at four but i can't tell my girl she's wrong it's quarantine so i know what I mean? So I'm in this fucking conflict. I'm biking hella slow trying to put all the pieces together. We get to the goddamn spot. You know what I mean? I would not tip him, but then that guy's going to make fun of me for trying to punish motherfuckers doing the shit I shouldn't do already. Yo, tipping the fucking barista And furious me

I gotta tip you Before you do your job Huh What kind of shit is that Every The whole tip system Is you do your job And then I like the service

So I tip you Oh you got him started On tips Fucking I know You're about to be 10 minutes He's about to go to that

Bacha dude And fight him for you Son Son This motherfucker Yo Don't roll your eyes yo Hey Hey let's you and me Go talk to this guy Who you. This motherfucker, yo. Don't roll your eyes, yo. Hey, let's you and me

go talk to this guy. Who you rolling your eyes at, yo? Son, usually... That's the unnecessary part. Can I be honest with you, though? That's where you gotta find when the girl... Can I be honest with you, bro?

In that situation, you gotta find anything and be like, hey, man, I get it, but you don't have to roll your eyes like that. I don't know that. I don't know how to do that. Oh, because if someone's rude to your girl at a certain point you can be like i kind of get it

you know like oh there's never a point where i don't get it there's never a point out of rudeness i completely understand oh man physical shit that's different yeah but the guy is at work getting corona every day he's about to close up the shop. And then he sees another person outside. That's worth an eye roll. That's not worth an eye roll. In your girl defense. I'm bugging.

You're bugging. You just got to like look macho for your shorty. Let me tell you something For those listening Andrew just broke the mic I lost sleep I lost sleep over this Are you trying to prove how tough you are now? This is what I almost did to the Macho Man.

Yeah, Macho Man. Macho Man Randy Savage. Macho Man Randy Savage. I literally walked in there like, woo! It's the Diamond Wing Baron. Champagne drinking. Social distancing. Social distancing Social distancing

Fuck Son Hold up What was it Oh yeah What shit he used to say All the time Cream of the crime

Yeah let that be a warning He told us he was gonna have This confrontation last week Were you here He was like I'm about to go out and beat up the macho man. I just had to do it. He was with my girl. Can I tell you what really happened, son?

I went in there. I'm going to tell you what really happened. I don't give a fuck. I don't give a fuck. Do it like Macho Man. I'm going to tell you what really happened. I don't care if y'all judge me. This is what happened.

Do it like Macho Man. All right, let's go. You want to know? This is what happened. I said, babe, hold the bike outside. She was the bike outside. Alright yeah Let's go You all wanna know This is what happened I said babe Hold the bike outside She holds the bike outside I go in there right

I go yo Let me get two And I forgot What my fucking girl wanted So I had to turn back I go babe What you want And then she goes

I would like a fucking Macadamia nut A macho whatever I'm already deflated Saying macadamia nut milk Right I'm already deflated To saying that Let me get a macadamia nut Macho lattea, whatever. I'm already deflated saying macadamia nut milk. Right? I'm already deflated to saying that.

Let me get a macadamia nut matcha latte. Let me get two of them shits. Right? He goes to do it and I'm waiting to have the confrontation when he comes back.

Right? And no bullshit, they just started selling these like Thai vanilla peanut butter cups. So, so here's the thing. Yo yo yo

These shits look so delicious right But they're behind the counter Oh you gotta ask him for one So I can't curse the motherfucker out And then get my Thai vanilla peanut butter cups Right So You don't defend your girl's honor

For some fucking peanut butter cups I said it my girl can't hear your girl's honor For some fucking peanut butter cups I said this I said this My girl can't hear nothing She's outside So I go So I go like this So I go like this

I go I give her the nod Like it's about to go down I'm like yo I gotta talk to you I'm talking to her Peanut butter cups It's going fine

You know what I mean So I'm trying to like Position myself So my girl can't She moved her head She's like I'm gonna to like position myself. So my girl can't move the hands a lot. I'm like, I'm going to need two of them top vanilla peanut butter cups. And then, you know, you go outside. He felt bad. He threw in some top vanilla peanut butter cups, babe.

And you shake his hand at the end and make it look like you really had the, I mean, you really patched things up. I go out there like, babe, you can go here anytime you want now. It's like over there at 401. What if she rude to him? What if he rude to her again? No, no, no. Then we got to fight. But he didn't get a warning.

I haven't had a fight in a while. What do you mean fight? Like I haven't had a fight. Like a physical, not even a pushing physical altercation in a while. I'm not saying that

I want to have one, but I'm saying I haven't had one in a while. It's going to happen. It's the laws of the world, right? If you have to order eight peanut butter cups, you would. not saying that i want to have one but i'm saying i haven't had one in a while it's gonna happen it's the laws of the world right you have to order eight peanut butter cups you would i would fight him no no this kid is he's a he's a tiny little fucking kid it's it's it's unfair it's not and i did but like i mean correct me if i'm wrong al you know eventually there's going to be another fight it's only the law of inertia i used to have the dumbest logic when I was younger.

If I went too long without a fight, I'd go looking for one because it's like, I got to make sure I'm still like. You still got it. Yeah. I got to make sure I still can fight. It's going to happen. And that was the worst logic. I would go out there looking for a fight.

Yep. And see, and that's what happened. And then you get caught by a motherfucker. And then the macho man throws some fucking green stuff in your eye. And then you wind up in prison in Sweden. But I had a pretty good record. I was eight and three. Oh. I kept my record.

Yeah. I remember the first time I spoke to Al about that, and he did tell me his record, and he included the losses, and I was like, wow, this guy's really honest. Not how I respect him. This couple times I got my ass beat.

I did. But then you believe the eight. Yeah. Right? Then you're like, nah, he won the eight. He got his eight. He won those eight fights.

Nah, those started from when I was a kid up until not very long ago. So I remember them fucking. Until about 2017. Yeah. Them fucking, what's it called? Is that a three or is that an eight? I take that as a win because I connected.

That's fair. That wasn't a win. So he didn't punch me with anything. He hit me with a stick. Yeah, but he moved you like 100 feet. How did he move me with a stick? Yeah, but he moved you like 100 feet. How did he move me with a stick? He actually moved you much more than 100 feet. He moved you to a prison.

No, it don't matter. I got that. He legit puts you on the mat. The yoga mat they gave you and ASAP Rocky to sleep on, that motherfucker put you to the mat. I connected, and then a little while later, he dropped. So I dropped him. I dropped him.

No, I dropped him. Did he fall or not? He fell when he was running after me when I was running away. I kicked his fucking leg. No, he wasn't. Nah, nah, nah. So stop acting like I didn't do that. But then he had to get his people.

He had to get his people to get him. And I knocked all of them out. So that means I won. And we can't get this trial video, can we? Nah, it's too late. That guy, he's not even a lawyer anymore. I'll try to contact him. He quit after that case?

What happened? I don't know. He had a deal with Andrew. So he said he doesn't have access to him. Because I bodied him. I cucked him. I cucked him he quit after that case what happened I don't know he had to deal with Andrew because I bodied him I cucked him I cucked him in court bro think about imagine you have your whole case

real talk imagine you got your whole case you put your fucking hey yo Al I'm gonna take everything I'm gonna get you out of here yo Al cover your ears yo he is black

and he kinda deserved it did I say that he's like yo I'll take care deserved it. Did I say that? He's like, yo, I'll take care of it, bro. No, I played into the race card a little bit. You have to. They got white guilt over there. Yeah, but I tried to reverse psychology them on the race card. I was like, I don't usually see things like this, but I was really trying to lean in.

But I did cuck your lawyer, and maybe that's why he quit. Maybe. Son, I was out there on the fucking Ralph Lauren. You know what I mean? Was that the shirt you- No, it's not this shirt. Maybe. Son, I was out there on the fucking Ralph Lauren. You know what I mean? Was that the shirt you... Nah, it's not this shirt. It's another shirt. But I had that Ralph.

I pulled up in that wrecking Ralph. And bro, I wrecked that courtroom, dog. Fat bitch. Remember that fat bitch? Stupid. Oh, that was a fun time. No, it wasn't. Minus the 28 days.

Say what? I said minus the 28 days. That was a fun time That's a vacation bro We need to get back out on the road man Fuck all this shit Sweden's open That's the only place that stayed open

Let's go The one place that we can fucking go do shows Oh that's a rough one That's a rough one You think you can talk to the club owner for me See if I can get over there I got you bro If you want to go over there Alright all right all right defend your girls on it i say what you got to go back

to that macho you got to say something yeah you got to go up to him you whisper in his ear you go i got a huge cock and then just see what he does bro then then you're both what should i say i'd be like look man i i get it it's tough but you can't sit here and my girl's trying to respect that you got to deal with all this shit and then you roll your eyes at her it's just disrespectful that's it that's all knobby and then if he fires back be like look man honestly you right but i did my job so i'm gonna see you later see nah i can't do it i don't understand reasonable but now too much time went by now it's too late also it should have been the next day it should be like yo my girl late. Also, you gotta understand this. It should have been the next day. It should have been like,

yo, my girl came home yesterday. She was upset. Also, you gotta understand this. They were Thai vanilla peanut butter cups. Yeah, it was bomb. They slapped. But like, you also gotta say, my girl loves this fucking matcha spot.

So I don't... I already ruined one restaurant with a past girlfriend. Which one? Via Della Pace. So on 7th Street and 2nd Avenue second avenue okay i think it burned down uh pause yeah it wasn't me but we went there one time and it was an empty restaurant i asked for this specific table and they said no and they tried to put me another table and i said nobody's here can we just go in this table and they said, nobody's here. Can we just go in this table? And they said no.

And then forever, mortal enemies. That's the only restaurant my dad remembers. You know, my dad's memory is gone. He remembers one restaurant. I refused to go to that restaurant. I was like, I can't, I can't go. I just can't go. That was your Michael Jordan restaurant.

So I loathed them. Eventually I got over it, but I couldn't do this again for her because she loves this matcha spot it's right by her did you have a confrontation with the italian restaurant a little bit when'd you get over it around the time it burnt down no right before yeah man so i gotta i gotta be better at that i bet at the you know confrontations because i don't what you're saying is very reasonable i don't know how to be better at that, I bet, at the confrontations. Because what you're saying is very reasonable.

I don't know how to be reasonable in confrontation. It's just go time. You guys have experienced it. I'm not like... Defending honor is overrated. That's the best part about being Christian, dude. If some shit happens to my girl, I just go, turn the other cheek, babe. That's how it goes, all right?

Read the Bible. He's so connected. I just don't think it's an honor. Come first. Exactly. Meek will inherit the earth. turn the other cheek babe that's how it goes all right read the bible he's so connected i just don't think it's a last come first exactly meek will inherit the earth so be meek bitch what do you want i just don't think it's on i think like you have to do that when you're ready to fucking tear the house down if you're not willing to tear the house down don't even go about it that's a crazy crazy statement there's no gray area at all there so like i just feel like if you're gonna have a confrontation you gotta be willing to burn the whole restaurant yeah

so like here's an example right like i remember once this homeless guy was like acting crazy like i think towards my mom or like in the area of my mom yeah and then my mom goes and starts to like run and my dad goes eh calm down right he just doesn't want to calm down because he knows that guy's not going to do nothing. But then there was one time this car almost hit me and my brother and I never seen my dad act out physically ever. And he just starts slamming the hood of the car, right?

Because that's a life or death situation. You blow shit up. The other one, nothing's going to happen. What are you getting all fucking riled up about? Yeah, but that wasn't reasonable of him because the car didn't hit you. So why are you going to cause damage to the car that didn't do anything, just scared you? That wasn't reasonable, but he stood up for your honor. Early life imprinting, bro.

Early life imprinting, bro. Early life imprinting, bro. They could have serious damages, a series of PTSD and that kind of shit. It's a real. Do you think it's affected you still? Say what? Has it affected you still? Yeah, honestly.

What do you think happens? I just, you know... Honestly, I don't feel comfortable talking about it. Sometimes I get a little emotional. I get a little choked up when I'm talking about it. Y'all are really going to make me punch this macho guy in the face. You need to, son. If something happens and I get locked up, that's on y'all.

Son. I just want to say. You already got Al locked up, whatever. Even Steven. All right. All right. All right. I'll testify for you. All right.

Like, hey, yo. This white nigga over here, he good. All right, guys. Let's stop for a second. Everybody's hair is looking crazy right now. Let's be honest. Crazy. Absolutely crazy.

You know what? We're blessed enough to have hair. Huge blessing. Huge blessing because the number one thing that describes how well a guy age or defines how well a guy ages in life is having a full head of hair. Yep. There are guys that do not look young. They have a full head of hair.

They're all of a sudden looking amazing for their age. Yep. Guy 22 years old, fully bald. You're like, yo, that motherfucker's age is tragic. Tragic. Bad. Fully tragic. Bad.

Yeah. Right? So you have the option to not go bald now. Okay? You have this as an option. It is available to you as a human being. This is the future. You are fucking living in it right now.

It's a medical marvel. Medical marvel. It's a miracle. Seriously, it's a miracle. It's a miracle. Seriously, it's a miracle. It's a miracle. Absolutely. It's a miracle. Honestly, if Jesus didn't have amazing hair, he probably wouldn't be walking on water.

He'd be Judas. Okay. Wait, what is that? Judas is the guy that betrayed Jesus. But what about the hair? If he was bald, he'd be Judas. Oh, was Judas bald? I don't know.

Probably. See what happens? Okay. Do you know what i mean you really threw me off with that point is point is you can keep your hair this is how you got to do it you go to keeps.com okay use this medication i've been using this for 10 years of my life keeps.com what they're going to do is they're going to give you your first month free. You can get a hair restoration and a keeping your hair product for as low as $10 a month. Simple as that.

$10 a month to keep your hair. You spend way more money on that for things that do not get you even close to the amount of pussy that a full head of hair would. Just be serious here. $10 a month? One drink is serious here. $10 a month, one drink is $15. $10 a month, you don't have to buy girls drinks when you've got a full, beautiful head of hair. Simple as that. It's going to save you money. That $10 is actually going to save you money. Keeps.com, okay, slash flagrant. You can get your first month free.

That's what we're going to do for you. And then you can get a program, $10 a month. I mean, come on. Try it for a month. It's going to work. And then you and then you can get a program $10 a month I mean come on try it for a month it's going to work and then you're paying $10 that's less than a Netflix subscription that's right okay way more valuable than Netflix

this is what's going to get you to Netflix and chill that full head of hair yeah without it you're just chilling exactly by yourself yeah

so what I want you to do is you're going to have to give it a few more months than just that first month oh so don't don't jump the gun with it it's going to take a few months to get in that being said let those effects settle in and get that full head of hair back and let's get back to the show keeps.com k-e-e-p-s.com

slash flagrant all right anyway all right what else is going on elon musk opening up the country he the fucking goat mike tyson about to box again tyler Hero's a hero What else you want to talk about? Nigga why are you just Reading the whole list Are you just reading the topics bro? I'm waiting for you to respond to something Like we haven't done the podcast For three fucking years

Just pick one I'm waiting for you to say something And then we go on it bro I can read too motherfucker I can Respond to something Grab on Takashi

Takashi Oh The greatest of all time There you go The greatest of all time And if you hate on Takashi That was the one I was hoping you didn't read If you hate on Takashi Takashi oh the greatest of all time there you go the greatest of all time and if you hate on Takashi that was the one I was hoping you didn't read if you hate on Takashi

you're crazy somebody make the argument somebody make the argument against Takashi I don't understand it I don't either make the argument against Takashi

I don't think he's gonna last as long as you do but he's definitely smart no no no I'm not talking about how long he lasts but they fuck your baby mama right they

kidnap you they beat you up they try to kill you or they say they're gonna kill you and they fuck with your mom and you're supposed to be loyal to them no yeah that's not the full story what's the full story no i'm saying we don't know the full story there's no way that he was rolling with these guys and all of a sudden they just all just turned on him like that i mean he got rich and they didn't right yeah and that's what i'm saying you're supposed to take care of your people if your people are rolling with you you're supposed to take care of them he didn't take care of them that's why they yeah there's no reason to steal from your dude if you're being taken care of i disagree i think you want that role i think when you hire thieves they do thieving

shit like these motherfuckers steal for if you're part of a gang right that is selling drugs and like involved in illegal activity you don't know how to turn that off it's not like or very few people know how to turn that off so it's like it's not like all of a sudden when you're making money oh we're gonna go legit i'm gonna accept my uh you know five percent that takashi gives me or i'm gonna do that no they're like hold up i could get a lick over here okay we got a million coming in okay i could actually scrape a few little bit off of this like i could do this show for 80 grand okay if i cut this deal on the side i'll give him the 60 and i'll keep 20 i think they're trying to get money from them all over the place that i can understand like just trying to skim shit off the top which is still fucked up

but i'm talking about the kidnapping moms and shit like that that is hey i'm getting you back for some shit okay okay so let's back up i think they broke the trust first by trying to steal and i think that came out a while back remember when like he was supposed to do some show and then he canceled a bunch of dates he's like because motherfuckers were stealing from me oh yeah because i believe he was told he was only gonna to make like $14,000 or some show. But really, he was making like $22,000 or some shit like that. So they told him a different number than what he was actually going to pay. And that's his people.

So then he just cut them all off like cold turkey. As you should. Yeah. But then if you're going to stop my money, now they're going to come after you. But that's not his fault. If that's how it happened. What I was thinking maybe could have happened is like, you know, he's throwing all his money around

and maybe they think he's got it like that, but he doesn't. Maybe he's flexing for more than just a gram. Maybe they buy into it and he doesn't have that money. And then they're looking at him like, why is he not taking care of us? You so fucking rich. We're sitting here with nothing or whatever.

Fuck you. And I don't think it's all about the money. But if that is the case, if you're getting $30,000 a show and somebody says, hey, you're getting paid $20,000 and then they take $10,000 off the top, fuck you. You're not getting me the shows. I highly doubt his gang member friends are getting him a fucking gig in Del whatever in California. The money is one element. The other element is that, hey, he wasn't blood initially.

He got with this gang and then he started repping treyway and they were his muscle and so they're the ones taking the risk like shooting at fucking rappers and beating people up and robbing motherfuckers but he's making those calls like we saw him on the tmz tape like saying yo go send some shots at it or whatever whatever whatever so it's like isn't how all of it works yeah but I'm saying if you're guessing if you're one of the generals and you're making the orders it's like nah you with the gang too so now if the whole gang got caught up in the Rico you got to go down with the gang as well you can't explain Rico to people real

quick what's the Rico oh that's um it's i don't know what it stands for but it's basically just a law that the federal government came up with to take down gangs giuliani actually found it and that's how he broke the mafia it's pretty incredible racketeering influenced in corruption organizations yeah so it's like if we can prove you know we don't catch you making like actually doing the crime but if we can prove you roll with the gang that did that crime you all go down so this is the thing how the the mafia was really brilliant in the way they insulated the top dogs so there was no real way to really get to the top dogs so they had to um create some some law where they could punish someone who was associated for it and i think there's rico and then there's another one called like a conspiracy to commit crime or whatever that so it's like if there's a phone

call about the crime that's going to be committed even if you don't commit it you're tied into it yeah so these were laws basically uh made to break the dons because the dons were completely insulated from any bad shit was happening and uh then they start to use them on like you know the drug gangs and that kind of shit like that and it just worked i mean they got the whole fucking uh bobby schmurda right like all them they got on rico right so i guess with with the six nine shit it's tricky because you don't know which came first the chicken or the egg right my assumption is is probably a little bit of both right it's like a little bit of envy like what akash was saying right and maybe they weren't being paid as much as they thought they should be and to be honest they're not managers yeah right like their muscle their muscle but also they're the validating

component in your career if you're gonna be thug guy yeah you need this gang to be thug guy not only to protect you but to prove that you are blood when you say you're blood so they have every right in my opinion to have a negotiation with takashi and be like listen takashi you're like a short fat mexican kid without us what value do we bring to you and if he says five percent then they could be like nah if he says they see if he's at ten percent they could be like nah it could be 50 50 you don't know they have to decide what that's worth takashi is clearly the criminal mastermind or just genius not even criminal like he found a way to make a career for himself it's like fucking brilliant what he did.

So they have to go, okay, maybe I'll take, you know what? Maybe I'll take 1% of career earnings of this guy who might make $100 million in his career. That's pretty nice. They have to have the foresight to look at that. And I think what happens is when you're a guy who for a living gets money quick, when you're a guy who's like, fuck, I need to pay rent. I'm going to go rob a motherfucker. When you just think about about money now it's hard to think about money in the future and i think they made a fucked up situation i think they stole or i think they did some like little foul shit with his baby mama i think he cut him off and then from there on

then the other stuff happens but i think they started it takashi has no uh incentive to start it think about it he knows he needs muscle he knows he needs protection why would he fuck those I think they started it. Takashi has no incentive to start it. Think about it. He knows he needs muscle. He knows he needs protection. Why would he fuck those guys over? I mean, let's say if those guys think, hey, I'm supposed to be getting a percentage of the earnings, but Takashi hasn't really adjusted my payment. But all of a sudden we see him copping houses, whips, like the money's rolling in, but for some reason it's not rolling in for them.

You can grow resentment. And especially this is not really my dude. It's not my friend. It's just somebody who attached himself to me. It's a business relationship. Yeah. So it's like, nah, like I can just see resentment growing. You also can't do wrongs on both sides.

But at the end of the day if you're doing criminal activity together you go down together because you're doing it together real quick to that though is um that's the tricky thing about if you're doing criminal activity together you go down together and why that doesn't work and takashi spoke about this in his live is that he's like what assurances do i have if I didn't rat that they wouldn't kill me in jail? They were trying to kill me outside of jail. You don't think they're going to send someone at me in prison to kill me? Of course they are.

So what incentive do I have to not rat? So with Bobby Schmurda, for example. That makes sense though, right? Bobby Schmurda could have took a deal to rat on his dudes, not do any jail time, and they would have got a lot more time but the difference is those are his dudes and the way you're saying it it's a business agreement but i would also say to this if you're gonna get in business with thug motherfuckers know that if things go awry they're gonna handle things the way they know how that's a fact but you knew what you were getting into but the difference between the shmurda and the takashi situation is shmurda

and his boys were on the same page shmurda's boys weren't trying to kill Shmurda and fuck his girl and do all this foul shit to Shmurda, right? That's what I'm saying. Like, I see both sides. I see reasons on both sides. How long was Takashi in jail? I think a year, I believe. He was supposed to do two. He was in jail more than a year, right?

Well, one year, I think, waiting for trial. And then it was supposed to be, like, the sentence was two years. So he did one year waiting for trial so they count that time right then i think he did like six months he got out and then he got out a little early but my feeling is like if they couldn't prove anything on any of them he has no reason to snitch no i'm pretty sure they had enough because once the feds come feds usually don't lock people up until they have like a kiss they got like a 90 what is it like a 97 percent conviction rate yeah so they're only coming through when they know it's going down it's just to me we we they're man we talk in absolutes about snitching because it has

such a great rhyme with it snitches get stitches this that the other and i understand if you're operating outside the law you don't have to involve the law i understand that from a culture perspective and the law ain't necessarily been fair to you that's true why fuck the law what's the point right fuck you right trust you but at the same time i i find it very difficult to be loyal and to uphold the code to people who are not loyal to you i just don't understand that i wouldn't do that i i wouldn't in a fuck are you kidding me you come at me you steal from me you do any of these types of shit and i'm gonna be loyal fuck that to that point we have a home uh comic friend real battle he would always have this bit about how like

the snitches get stitches shit like you should never snitch it's a little crazy and then the second he would say that would get crazy and then he'd be like basically the joke was like if a guy's molesting somebody i don't remember the punchline but that's a snitch situation that's not like you're not whatever you're not keeping the fucking code by not reporting somebody who's molesting kids whatever the audience any black audience would get so uncomfortable the whole time they would just be like nah you could feel the resistance from the room and that always blew my mind like like even if a dude is fucking kids you don't snitch on that guy you remember when cameron he was asked that same question he was like no i wouldn't snitch i

just move away i think you think you'll handle it yourselves in the community or whatever but like all right i'm just gonna move all right how about this everybody talking to the snitch. I'm just going to move. All right. How about this? Everybody talking to the snitches get snitches shit. Question. Everybody with the snitches get snitches shit. Whatever snitches get snitches shit. They got no problem posting those two white dudes that killed the Ahmaud Arbery. No, but see, now that's different. There's civilians and now. No, there's civilians and then there's people who are actually doing crime.

The snitches only particular. It's only that rules only for people that are doing criminal stuff together. I mean, killing bad people for no reason is criminal. No, I'm talking about. So a civilian, a regular civilian just go telling on some molester. That's fine. Or regular civilian who's not doing crime telling the police on a drug dealer or some shit like that at the end of their block that's fine too because they're not in the streets they're not part of that code it's the ones like

if you're involved like takashi was doing these crimes with them so that's why you don't snitch got you no that makes sense yeah that makes sense it only applies to people who are doing criminal activity if you're a civilian you're allowed to snitch all you should that's not true because they kill motherfuckers that they think are gonna snitch they'll kill witnesses they'll do oh well i'll do whatever they can to keep themselves alive yeah but i mean that's that's different that's just they won't stay out of that shit when they're like nah he's a civilian leave him alone until you need to rob somebody you know i mean it seems like you'd be robbing civilians that's what i'm saying the code is flimsy. The code is flip floppy.

Right. Usually, like, I remember when I was in the courts, the biggest robbing cases were like a drug dealer robbing another drug dealer because it's like neither one wants to get police involved. Right. Both operate with a lot of cash on hand because you can't put it in banks and shit like that. So that's like the best person to rob. But you got to be honest.

That's a big come up, too. Yeah. If you're willing to take the risk of robbing like that. So that's like the best person to rob. But you got to be honest, that's a big come up too. If you're willing to take the risk of robbing a drug dealer, it's like you're not going to just get the $100 that's in his wallet. You could get $10,000 off a Coke. Like that's a big. Like there's no point in robbing a civilian. Like the most you get some credit cards that they're just going to cancel in two seconds. Yeah, it is a weird thing.

It's like honestly, I feel like robbing is kind of stupid. It's gone down. It must have, right? Now that it's all credit cards. Yeah, now that it weird thing. It's like, honestly, I feel like robbing is kind of stupid. It's gone down. It must have, right? Now that it's all credit cards? Yeah, now that it's all paperless, what are you getting off this guy? You might get a watch or some shit like that. But if you came up to me and you're like, and I'm not suggesting this, but you're like, if you said, give me your wallet and then beat me up,

or if you just said, yo, man, I don't want to fucking shoot you. Can you just give me the cash you got? I just gave you the cash. I think they also enjoy the beating you up. No, no, no, no, no. I'm just saying hypothetically in the past, you would prefer not getting into an altercation. So you just, yeah, just ask. I'd rather have it go smooth.

How would it go hypothetically? No, it would just be like, yo, empty your pockets. Bang. And if they don't empty it, you empty it for them. Now, what if we start to fight and that kind of shit? I mean, then you fight. And then you keep record of your fights. Nah, but I'm just saying, it's like like people don't really rob civilians that much. And now the laws have changed where now it's a felony if you rob anything over, I believe, $800.

So just by taking a phone. So this is really interesting. So, yeah, it's called grand larceny. I think every day is a 500 or like a thousand. I forgot the exact number. But now they made it so low where it's like basically you take anything off somebody. It's almost a felony. It's not only that it's so low. It's that we're all of a somebody it's almost a felony it's not only that it's so low

it's that we're all of a sudden walking around with things that are way more expensive yeah like it'd be rare to walk around with something that was a thousand dollars if you're not a rich dude

that's got like a nice watch yeah back in like the 90s 80s whatever but it's super normal that you got your computer or you got your cell phone or you got these things that happen to be worth

thousands of dollars so when someone just grabs your backpack back in the day someone would grab your North Face backpack and they'd grab your Jansport or some shit. Now if you got a laptop in there, you go to fucking prison, bro.

Yeah. If they press charges. Yeah, man. Maybe it's good. So now what if you saw someone that killed Biggie or Tupac? Street code, street school got him. But they didn't. I mean, they did, though.

All right. We sold it, guys. We did it. Did they get it? Yeah, the guy who killed Biggie. He's dead. Really? Yeah.

They believe that? Yeah. They're pretty certain they know who the guy was. And what about Pac? I'm pretty sure they got. They think it's either that cop that undercover cop that was working with um what's his face shook yeah and there was suspect of one other person i'm not sure the person he got into a fight with at the casino earlier yeah that's the one i heard

it was stumped the shit out of that yeah they beat up the dude yeah what about the dude that killed nipsey they found him uh yeah he got locked up. He turned himself in. Oh, really? But what's up with him? Is he still? I don't know. I'm pretty sure he's on solitary. Because if he's in general pop, they're going to get to him. So he turned himself in to protect himself from the streets?

Pretty much, yeah. Damn, bro. Yeah. Streets take care of justice. Damn, bro. Yo, so a totally separate note. I don't know something

let's mix it up on a lighter note it's pretty dope that like how Takashi his his way of branding

that's what I'm most impressed by he's a fucking genius his brand is fucking incredible you have by. He's a fucking genius. His brand is fucking incredible. You have to admit he's a genius. Come home, breaks every single fucking record. Two mil on Instagram Live.

I didn't even know they could support two million people on Instagram Live. Son, that shit was mad funny where everybody's bragging about the little 300,000. They're like, there was 300,000 watching Teddy Riley and Babyfist. Cute. This motherfucker, you cannot deny him. And if you deny him, you're a hater. Yeah.

You got, you're a hater, bro. I still think Instagram fixed something with their live because now live works way better and like people, the Erykah Badu and Jill Scott got up to.

Got 700,000. Yeah. But still, two million, bro, and fucking bodied it and like knew exactly what was gonna happen. Like.

And he broke the record of most views of a music video in a day bro 47 million it's already at 100 million you have to see what videos he's shooting in his backyard like i just i have to know another funny thing is that um so apparently he's living in long island and so every time he moves into a place like he's so recognizable with all the colored hair and the cars and stuff like that. So some little kid films him. It's like, oh, shit, Takashi was on her porch filming him while he was filming himself on his porch. He's had to move twice already. Nah.

See, they're going to regret letting him go. They're going to regret it. And eventually he's just going to have to go, hey, this is life. I got to deal with it. No, just go to Europe. Yeah, he could. I think because of the jurisdiction jurisdiction he has to stay in new york oh that's another thing he has a felony right yeah so he can't travel at all can't go to

canada maybe some european countries will allow it he's on house arrest for the duration of his sentence like they let him out early as a duration you said he would would have got two years and he got one for snitching no no no so he was he had one one year waiting for trial and then I think he was in prison for about six to eight months something like that

do we know what he would have got if he didn't snitch what he was looking at oh he's probably the same amount of time the other dudes got or maybe a little bit less because they wouldn't have been

able to pin one thing on him so if years but they got locked up locked up right yeah they got years like probably like 10 15 something like that now do you think people are really trying to kill him yes yeah I would absolutely on him. But they got locked up. Yeah, they got years, like probably like 10, 15, something like that.

Now, do you think people are really trying to kill him? Yes. Yeah, I would. Absolutely. Like he couldn't walk out. I would assume. Like, I mean, people,

there's still people part of that gang that aren't locked up. That's a good point. Whatever, bro. This shit is so weird. I don't even think you need house arrest, dog.

I'm gonna be honest with you. Like if George Zimmerman is still walking around, does anybody really need to go to what's it called? Protective custody? Yeah, I think he has security, though. He walks around with security. How does he afford the security?

There's so many people donating to him. All the fucking races. Remember he made a painting that sold for $100,000? The guy doesn't even fucking paint really yeah but it was just ways for races to support that and like hey keep your float we stand by you uh huh anyway all right let's switch this shit up um this gang shit doesn't make sense to you nah it does i'm just like i think we're all on the same page yeah let's do it you know um okay there i there was an amazing fight card did you guys see this i did not see it ufc 249 it was one of the best fight cards i've ever seen by fight card i mean like all the fights that were on it yeah it was one of the best fight cards i've ever seen

i'm like a longtime boxing fan yeah uh mma is the sport of the future it is undeniably more entertaining is done undeniably more digestible for the average fan uh so it's it's easier 5 25 5 minute rounds so it's 25 minutes you know what it is it and a boxing match is only 30 yeah i guess so guess so. You know what I mean? Maybe a little bit longer, 36 minutes or whatever. But the thing with boxing is you kind of need a – this is not like an intelligence thing. You don't need a higher IQ, but it's the same thing with baseball.

People who watch baseball understand the game. Understand the game. They understand the pitching strategy. They understand all these other little nuances of baseball so they can really appreciate it the average fan that just comes in to watch baseball they're like i don't get it bro these guys are striking out all the time they're just eating are they eating like what's happening it gets on base three out of ten times i'm supposed to be impressed yeah like this is this is not good right same thing with soccer like a lot of people watch soccer they're like where's the action bro

like what's going on right um we grew up watching, so I think we're grandfathered into it. But the future generations, like, you can not know anything about MMA and fall in fucking love with the absolute carnage that exists within it. Now, it's possible that it gets more boring, like boxing, as the athletes get better at the sport. You know, when you reach the top of anything, it's very hard for it to be exciting. Because everything you do, I know how to counter. because everything you do, I know how to counter. And everything I do, you know how to counter. So there's a version of a stalemate. But right now, MMA's in a pretty rough space still where like there are random guys

that aren't that technical. They're just massively talented. Like this guy, Francis Ngannou. He's this guy from Cameroon, I believe. He is massive, 6'4", 260 pounds, solid fucking rock. And he went up against this other guy named Jairzinho Rosenstreich or something like that. The guy calls him out. Jairzinho Rosenstreich calls him out and says, I want to fight this guy. And he's like, I can't believe anybody would call me out. 20 seconds, knocks

him out in 20 seconds. He just goes straight at him. He just runs straight at him, throws his big looping right hand. Jairzino catches him with a hook. It doesn't even phase him. Knocks him in his head, completely unconscious. Punches him a couple more times. Fights over, go home. I mean, there was another fight where these two guys were just tagging off

on each other's faces. Both of them looked like clowns afterwards. I mean, eyes puffy completely swollen dripping blood all over the place the main the the main card justin gaethje versus um tony ferguson tony ferguson is destroyed by the end of this fight like his face looks like a saw mask remember that yeah yeah that's what he looked like it was unbelievable i mean and he has so much heart he's just going in there he's just going in there he's getting cracked by the guy gaethje the entire time impossible to not like this it's

impossible not like the sport right i mean it was just like i'm seeing what fight i'm seeing what fight sports will be in the future and there's no way it can't be this and you know what makes it so great the tyranny of it democracy in a in a lot of ways, killed boxing. How so? Too many belts, too many... So, because there is merit in who fights who in boxing, right?

We've had to create more belts. When there was just one belt per division, you know what can happen? A really boring guy gets the belt. and that guy maintains the belt forever and it's boring because his style sucks yeah right the beauty of mma is two people you don't even know can fight each other and it can be the most exciting fight in the world because it's the closest thing to a street fight or a bar fight and we'll watch those all day right right so what they do the ufc is one organization so they control all the matchmaking etc they decide who fights who they say you're the second

rank contender but if they don't want you to fight them you don't fight them you can't sue yeah in boxing you have these multiple organizations and you're fighting for belts in each one and they're the organizations for belts in each one and the organizations are competing against each other and switching rankings and that kind of stuff. You kind of got to pay a guy off if you want to fight someone else instead. There's a little bit more merit in it. The fact that there's one guy in MMA or in the UFC specifically going, you're fighting this guy, can create these amazing fights because that one guy can go, ah, those styles aren't going to match up.

Don't let them fight. It'll be boring. And then you create a figure like Cowboy Cerrone. Have you heard of Cowboy Cerrone? I know of him. Cowboy Cerrone in boxing would be like a journeyman boxer who never really amounted to much but would fight a couple fights

and then he'd be out of there. He became a superstar in MMA because they matched him perfectly with guys around his talent level and then every once in a while when he jumps up to like the elite elite he gets his ass kicked this is the one mcgregor beat the shit out of yes and like loved him like was actually gracious and nice and yeah but that's what happens that guy's such a great character and makes amazing fights no matter who he's with. So what you do is you make him fight guys that are around his level that he can beat. Yeah.

And then you take this character and you make him this like almost folk hero within MMA, but you never really expose him to the craziest shit. Right. And then you do when he can make a lot of money. Hey, you've done a lot of good work for the business. You're going to fight McGregor. You're going to make your big paycheck. And you could do this with a bunch of little fighters

and have them have these really exciting fights and build them up. Unlike boxing where it's like, okay, you kind of got to fight this guy because he's your mandatory challenger

and yada, yada, yada. I think it's brilliant, man. Do you think it was like so good because you haven't seen live sports in a long time? I think there's part of it. I think it's definitely part of it.

I think I was craving something that was just happening in the moment. I'll be honest. I didn't even bother me at all that nobody was in there. I really liked it. Like, did you listen to it? You watch a fight? It didn't really affect it that much. It was a little weird at the beginning, but by the end, I didn't even notice.

Dude, I think it improved it. Because sometimes the audience woos and oohs and ahs at punches that don't really connect. And it throws you off and it maybe can throw the judges off. But when there's just a few guys in there, like literally the fighters could hear their coaches coaching them. Oh, shit. And you could hear the fighters talking to their coaches. Yeah. Right?

You could hear Rogan and Cormier and the other guy talking during their coaches. Yeah. Right? You could hear Rogan and Cormier and the other guy talking during the fight. At one point, they all go, oh shit, I think the fighters can hear us.

We should lower our voices. That's crazy. Because they're being critical of a guy who's actually in the ring getting his fucking face punched in. See, it's funny. It's like,

I usually like the excitement of the crowd because then usually Rogan has to yell over them, and it adds to that excitement. He's yelling, and he just has that energy. He's like, oh, shit, he's hype. I'm hype, too.

So it's like I guess I thought it would take away a little bit from it. You'd think, but when you get in there, it's really kind of nice, and you get kind of locked in and quiet. I don't know. I'm sure when you've had fights, whenever you have a fight, you can't hear anything. Oh, yeah. Any fight I've ever had, even when I would spar, sound didn't exist. Yeah.

It's so weird. And that's kind of what happens in the fight. Nobody's there. Don't get me wrong. It's fun to go to fights. I can't wait till people get back. But it didn't take away from the experience that bad. And being able to hear the corners was really interesting.

It was cool. Yeah. It really had something. Tony Ferguson, his corner had some of the worst advice I've ever heard in my entire life. At one point, the guy goes, breathe, Tony. Actually, no, that's not bad advice. That's not bad advice. Because you know, you box as well.

There's times where it's like you're just throwing, throwing, throwing, throwing, throwing. And then you gas yourself out, not realizing. but it's like if you were breathing that whole time you can keep going at this level you breathe when you punch and you breathe when you kick this is the elite of the elite right it's like you don't have you tell that to somebody at their first day of boxing class where you go don't hold your breath when you throw your punches actually exhale matter of fact if anybody's listening right now and you hear a lot of times when people punch you hear them go, huh? That's just a like Pavlovian response to throwing a punch to remind yourself to breathe.

But the and like, yo, I love Eddie Bravo. I think this guy's like a great character. But it seemed like Tony was not paying attention to his corner at all. Like it really seemed like like Eddie at one point was like, you might want to try one of these roles called like a something Umanari role. It's basically Luminari. Umanari. Umanari role.

And he like subtly suggested it. I got a feeling you can't tell Tony Ferguson what to do. I got a feeling like his camp is just a little similar to like Ali's camp where it's like, you don't tell Ali what to do. Ali comes with the idea and then you help him execute it. Ali's Ali though. 100%.

And Tony Ferguson hadn't lost since 2012. He was an elite fighter. He just went up against this guy Justin Gaethje who I knew he was going to lose to. I was texting Brandon Shaw about it. Was his styles don't match? Every time I saw Tony Ferguson fight, he

had no defense for hands. Unbelievable athlete, unbelievable stamina, unbelievable courage and fucking heart and very hard puncher. He could punch hard, but he had no head movement, no defense for hands.

So he would get caught all the time. This guy, Justin Gaethje, throws bombs. It's dangerous. He is a dangerous fucking guy to be in the ring with. And if you have no defense, he's going to tag you up. He's the perfect

guy to beat Tony Ferguson. And you know what sucks? Tony Ferguson, I think, had the best chance of beating Khabib. And now he's never going to get to fight him. Stylistically. Because Khabib will take you to the ground and Tony Ferguson has amazing jiu-jitsu. So I wanted Khabib to

take Tony to the ground and then maybe Tony be able to pull some cool shit, throw some elbows, cut him up. Now Justin Gaethje's going to fight Khabib. Not even a fight. What's that? It won't even be a fight. And it won't be a fight. You're an MMA fan?

Eh, kind of, tangentially. Okay. But it's just like, Khabib is so amazing, he's going to take Gaethje to the ground. Granted, Gaethje has a wrestling background. He was successful. He was an NCAA All-American wrestler for North Colorado or something like that. But Khabib is a generational talent with wrestling.

He's going to take him to the fucking ground. He's going to hold him there. It's going to be a boring fight. You know who would be a fireworks of a fight? Conor versus Gaethje. And I hope they make that fight. Weren't they talking shit to each other on Twitter? Oh, Conor was going in on Twitter.

And Gaethje was firing back, right? I don't know if Gaethje's responded yet. I think I might have it. You just had the, what's it called, Conor tweets. Okay. Yeah. But that would be a fucking barn burner. Just two guys just boxing going at it.

Yeah. I mean, this would be the boxing kick. But this is what you want from mma it's just striking kicking punching and i think connor i think connor gets the best really i think so i mean this gaethje guy is good but he does get tagged he can get tagged because he likes to engage and connor has he has uh he has a lot of power in that fucking left hand connor can box he if there's one thing we learned from the mayweather fight elite head movement yeah elite timing time say again i remember you saying that

yeah in the moment even yeah so it's like okay he impressed me with that so if you're going up against a guy who's just gonna move bob and move you know with you and try to exchange with you i think connor can get it yeah when you're going up against a guy who's willing to take your shots and then take you to the ground and exhaust you, Conor's got no gas tank. Right. He got two rounds in him tops. Right. Five rounds, forget it.

Yeah. You know? So we'll see what happens, but I'm excited that we got some more fights. I thought Gagey said some shit like, you've lost to everybody. Get the fuck out of here. Like, I thought, if you can look into it, Mark, I think Gagey- Did you respond to it? I thought so.

Good. There was another story I read that I should have copy-pasted instead, but yeah yeah i thought this was the most up-to-date one the espn dude gates is a fun character man like he's a really sweet guy really dude he's like man if i wasn't doing this i'd be doing social work like that's what i got my degree in yeah i just i'd be helping at-risk youth like that's i just want to help kids like i i just love doing that i'm like you guys i am violent in here you will never see that even a shred of this outside the ring like I literally I think that's our purpose

come here and just help people and this is the best adrenaline rush in the fucking world I love it you know I mean who knows he could beat the shit out of his wife next week no fucking clue but until then like he seems like a sweetheart of a guy it's a nice it's a nice like thing to like it's not in theoretically it's nice to have this guy who's this badass in the ring and then out of the ring he's the nicest guy in the

world it's just like it's a cool yeah yeah exactly when you have one of those pet tigers licking your face and shipping you at any point in time it could be over yeah can we talk about the goat who tyler harrow's girl okay so henry okay i i don't understand what's going on here so akash brings up that tyler harrow who is a uh basketball player for the miami heat what is he like a two or three guard probably a probably small forward okay tyler just got some corn roasts tyler showed up i mean this is the white kid like you look at his college pictures high school picture this is just a white kid yeah but he gets drafted by miami yeah and there's even a video i don't remember what tyler says but uh jimmy butler's like i know you hang out with black folks or some shit like that this is like before the year started he plays

basketball for a living but like some you're down whatever some shit like that but then now all of a sudden you see tyler harrell he's got cornrows i guess i don't know what what is that cornrows cornrows and like you don't know what corn that here cornrows yeah cornrows cornrows and you don't know what cornrows you know but it's not it's like it's different

it's not just regular ass Kawhi Leonard braids it's like some ill shit he's got a style on it yeah but they are cornrows

yeah but I didn't know if it was a different thing I didn't know about because I'm 36 man keep going bro and he's got Katya Elise Henry who is IG bad bitch, 2 million followers.

You like this girl. You think this girl's fun. I think this girl is beautiful. Everybody loves her. She's the most beautiful girl you've ever seen? 7.5 million followers first. Keep it correct. 7.5 million followers is, that's a win.

You were saying, but you were saying before the podcast, you would do anything to be with this girl. So tell me, what did you mean by that, you would do anything to be with this girl. So tell me, what did you mean by that? You would do anything to be with her. Well, are you talking about my girl or this girl? See how I did that? See how I did that? See how I did that?

So you like, but you like this? You think this is a joint to you? Yeah, she's a joint. She got 7.5 million followers. I think this is rare. Sagan pulls up the worst picture of her, and he's like, she's not cute. I think this is rare. I, she's a joint. She got 7.5 million followers. I think this is Ray. Sagan pulls up the worst picture of her and he's like,

she's not cute. I think this is Ray. I think she's regular. I think you find these dime a dozen. This is like when I was saying that white girl wasn't giving good head.

This is dime a dozen, bro. This girl's a waitress at that slushy spot in Miami that we went to. I've known about her for years. But I don't think that this is... She's a cute girl. She's cute. And she's got a little bit of a butt, but the butt's not crazy.

That butt's not crazy. Y'all never had ass. That's the problem with y'all. Y'all never had no ass. If you think that's a crazy ass, go back. That's not that crazy of an ass, bro. Y'all never had no ass. It's not that crazy. Y'all never had ass.

Y'all never had some ass. It's not that crazy. Y'all never had ass. Y'all never had some trunk. It's crazy. She's bad. And 7.5 million followers off of being bad. If you pull that, that's the trophy. He got the trophy, bitch. I mean, does he, bro? Let's see the feet.

She does a good job hiding them. Yeah, that's the thing. If you don't see feet, if she's wearing socks in the pictures, it might be a problem, bro. it might be a problem, bro. Might be a problem, bro. You never know. She might have bad feet, but you know what? Oh, that first picture right there, kind of crazy.

Oh, yeah. The story. Not the story. The story. Oh, yeah. That's her thumb. Yo, I don't know, dog. There's so many of these girls, man. I'll be honest with you, man.

You need a girl with a cool personality, man. man you know what i mean got cool hobbies and shit you know what i mean does she drink matcha does she drink matcha does she have passions bro you'd have to beat up a lot of dudes with her i'm gonna be honest you might drink matcha nah that's coffee dog but she had avocado toast super white that's why i think she might drink matcha also. She might not have been in a matcha mood. Yo, that's true, though. Yo, the next food that black people are going to take is avocado toast. You think? Yeah, we're going to take that.

Why do you think? It's like, it's just becoming so popular. The same way how we took over hummus, we're taking avocado toast next. You're going to take avocado toast next? It's so funny you took over hummus. We didn't even know until Kev was on the podcast black people like hummus. No, I love hummus. I've loved hummus before Ke taking avocado toast next you're gonna take avocado toast next it's so funny you took over hummus we didn't even know until Kev was on the podcast black people like hummus no I love hummus

I've loved hummus before Kev said that yeah so you think avocado toast is your next shit it's the next shit okay okay and why

what is your what is your nothing it's healthy it's nutritious it's delicious it's delicious some white people

be on to some food sometimes we ain't giving them credit but pumpkin is fantastic we act like it's not every November you getting some pumpkin can will be on to some food sometimes we ain't giving them credit but pumpkin is fantastic we act like it's not every November you getting some pumpkin can we be honest if we're being honest

white people are the best at food I think so I really think so if we're being honest who is the best at food if we're being honest with ourselves if we're truly being honest

how do you mean that do you mean like who has like the best restaurant it's a white guy or like cuisine white cuisine is the best i think white people are the okay who can jump the highest white people no who can jump the highest thing here i thought no no no no no no black people jump the highest black people right okay now i think what black people have in their jumping ability white white people have in their tongue nah bro yeah nah yeah dude yeah no no i believe is they can taste incredibly specific things

because their food has so little flavor exactly they have to identify all of it but keep going though keep going on this. That's where I stop. You guys need all this flavor because y'all don't got the sensitive tongue. You were like, oh, your chicken's so bland. It's like, no, you don't know that little. You know what I'm saying? You don't know that little flavor out here.

You don't know that little tiny bit of flavor. It's that simple. Why people know differences between water? Think about that. Think about that. Oh, I don't like Evian. Why not? Oh, it's that simple white people know differences between water like think about that think about that oh i don't like evian why not oh it's different it has flavor within water you listen it's hard for me to explain this to non-whites but like i'm gonna try bro listen why let me tell y'all listen when we go oh my god that's too hot that's too whatever we have the most sensitive

tongue like that but that's why your cuisine is whack because you can't your your tongue is too sensitive no but what happens you have to make it for this sensitive ass but what happens when we make cuisine for everybody else when we figure out what it is you like right yeah listen we we use cuisine that's how white people control the world they use cuisine right black people are all angry because they shot the black guy on the street what do we do a week later pop by his chicken sandwich let's go they dropped that chicken sandwich you're about to ruin the chicken sandwich right now they dropped that chicken sandwich on y'all bro that's what white people wait for dog hey you know what they dropped that chicken sandwich

well we get another where's the chicken sandwich right now for aubrey go on right now go on right now and see people fighting outside of Popeye's. You can see all over Twitter. Oh, there's nobody fighting outside. You don't think they're fighting outside of Popeye's? Hold on. Hold on. Hold on.

That's so stupid. Bet Popeye's starts doing delivery tomorrow, though. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. They're not that crazy. We got Uber Eats now. Okay, they're not fighting outside of Popeye's?

Hold on. We just fought for five people that got out of their cars and tried to press me. Y'all gonna do something? You gonna do something? You gonna do something? You gonna do something? Are you sure they're fighting? I feel like this is how they order, bro. Oh, this is just a roast. He just roasted everybody in the car. That's amazing.

This just sounds like Popeye's. Exactly. That's Popeye's, bro. But ain't nothing changed. They ain't done no new shit. That's not a fight. That's just a normal day at Popeye's. Yeah.

It sounds like someone disrespected that girl's girl. And so they had to go in. So they went in and they put the new chicken sandwich out bro that wasn't even a papa look google right now they got the chicken sandwich back then they been had it back yeah they're not they've been had it back what are you talking about they redid it back they redid it they redid it back okay it went away it went away they redid it back all right bro for real y'all trash. You don't think white people... All right, who's the black guy, Fieri?

Son, Cisco. I couldn't think of anything. That was great. That was great. Holy fuck. And that's thog song right there. Ain't nothing guy Fieri made that comes close to thog song.

Son, I'm just saying, you gotta put some respect on white people's tongues, bro. White people cuisine, bro. Your tongue is incredibly sensitive. That's why your food is got a bar. No, no, no. That's exactly your point. Shit on it.

That's what I did. You had a point. I took a shit on it. So you have a sensitive tongue. You have a sensitive tongue. That's why white cuisine. Bad bland. Because it's like, oh, we can only put so much pepper.

What did you have for dinner last night, bro? Keep it 100. What did I have? You didn't have no fucking curry for dinner, did you? What did you have? I honestly don't remember. Yeah, you don't remember, do you? It was so bland.

Maybe Chipotle. Chipotle. Yeah. Yeah. That's white people doing Mexican food. Stupid. Fucking dummy. That is not white people. It is white people doing Mexican food. Stupid. Fucking dummy. That is not white people.

It is white people doing Mexican food. Yeah. White people. Yeah. Who's the white cook at Chipotle? Honestly, everybody's food is Mexican. I don't give a fuck what kind of cuisine it is. That shit is Mexican.

Is that it? So who's cooking it? The person who makes the food, that's whose cuisine it is? I mean, it seems that way. I'm just saying, if the person who makes the food, that's whose cuisine it is? I mean, it seems that way. I'm just saying, if the person who makes the food, that's whose cuisine it is. What is Chipotle? What's it say? Chipotle American Grill?

McDonald's? Owned by McDonald's? Owned by McDonald's. They sold it to McDonald's. It's Mexican Grill, though. Chipotle Mexican Grill. Who'd they sell it to? Who'd they sell it to?

Who do you think bought it? You got all those money. Ain't nobody arguing with that. Yeah. If I want to sell some shit, I'm going to sell it to? Who'd they sell it to? Who do you think bought it? You got all those money. Ain't nobody arguing with that. Yeah. If I want to sell some shit, I'm going to sell it to white people. Damn right. What do you think?

I'm going to sell it to some cheap ass brown people? Undervalue my shit? Damn right. I want to get a good deal. Damn right. I want to make money. You know what I'm saying? That's something y'all can claim,

but don't claim food. Y'all don't got it. You have to be honest. If you look at top tier chefs, probably going to have the most white but only because white people like that food that's what white people deserve that's what matters like you don't care what white people say about indian food do y'all no exactly so why do we care what y'all recommend an indian restaurant to me and i might chill fam

nah i recommend that one one that was good which one it was what was it the fucking no no it's like a famous London Brick Lane

it's called Brick Lane Brick Lane is alright I'm gonna be honest with you that's a famous London one I'm gonna be honest with you right yeah but I didn't listen to you until Indians took me there

I was like I was right though you were right though I was right right and you know why it's good cause it's in London you know what I'm saying

it's in London bro it's in London broon you know what i'm saying it's in london it's in london bro a lot of indians out there you think white people invented all food i think i think white people invented eating i think y'all were breastfeeding before we came around we're like yo hop off that titty have a sandwich fucking crazy i really think that's what happened i really think nah i think that's what happened bro i think in india y'all were just sucking milk out of titties bro like the cows and shit and then cows are sacred cows are sacred and then white people came up and you were like nah they were like nah try some rice or whatever like you know what i mean like come on bro like you know you

got some tiki you got some masala like let's do this like let's make a meal the only tiki white people know about is the torch in charlottesville don't come here with that shit you gotta admit white people did create indian cuisine you have to admit that you have to admit that you have to admit Hop over this fucking You gotta admit Y'all do you think You had an oven Before white White people invented oven Get out of my face

No white people Invented ovens bro India is an oven Yeah bro Yeah bro He just throw the food Outside Chicken was cooking

Itself walking it Down the street in August Nah be honest bro There was no chickens In India before White people We had everything You didn't have chickens We had everything Did you himself walking down the street in august no be honest bro there was no chickens in india before white people we had everything you didn't have chickens we had everything did you do you even think you had cow i think white people brought cows bro i'm gonna be honest with you i got you can smack the shit out of it right now hey bro keep talking that shit bro see what happened

puerto rico what happened pu Puerto Rico What happened in Puerto Rico We took that electricity Because y'all didn't appreciate it enough Son we back Y'all were not appreciating it enough I got back Why we be honest about Why you don't have electricity

Why that grid really broke You blame it on the fucking hurricane You play the goddamn music Too fucking loud You probably blew the fuse Before the fucking hurricane Then the hurricane comes through A little water

You're like oh the electricity Broke The electricity We not have the electricity turn on the fucking music hey maybe many y'all just paid your bills you know what i mean maybe it's just mad past due real talk that could be it nah nah we back you gotta call phoenix son oh you're right about it no but let's go let's keep making these arguments okay go best food honestly you know who has a legitimate claim to the throne and i'm gonna You're right about it. No, but let's go. Let's keep making these arguments. Okay, go. Best food. Honestly, you know who has a legitimate claim to the throne? And I'm going to say this objectively as a white.

Mexicans, bro. Yeah. I truly believe. That's fair. I understand. I won't give it to them, but that's fair. I'm just saying. That's fair. As a white, and obviously I have the best tongue and have the best palate.

God given. The most sensitive tongue for sure. Most sensitive tongue. God given. For sure. Talent. For sure. Right?

God. From God. For sure. I can objectively say Mexicans have probably the best cuisine. You know most sensitive is just another way to say weakest, right? Say again? Most sensitive is just another way to say weakest, right? Did you say white people are weak?

Your tongues are. I mean, we're weak? Is that what you're saying are we i mean it does yeah if you think that we're weak right weak in the tongue weak in the tongue yeah that's fair weak in the tongue right how did you guys get freedom from us not eating your shitty ass food not using your tongue what oh hunger strikes hunger strike yeah yeah yeah but do you know what that really was about your food sucks no it wasn't our food uh-huh you stop eating your food and we're like you know what they get it. They deserve freedom now. They're no longer savages.

We fixed them. That's what they said. I would love for white people to stop loving Indian food. I would love if white people stopped loving Indian food. That made me so happy. We don't really like it. You bring those fucking big ass tortilla chips to the table. It's just one.

They don't even cut them in triangles. That one shit. They don't slap. What is it? Pappard. Pappard. We take that pappard. We dip it into them

three sauces. It tastes exactly the same but they're different colors. You got Skittles and sauces. This is it. This is it. What is spicy?

What is sweet? Son, this bitch brings the fucking sauces. They just chop up some onions. They put some food dye in that shit. One of the sauces is fucking green

for no reason. It's that food dye. That's all it is. You put the fucking food dye in that shit one of the sauces fucking food dye that's all it is you put the fucking food dye in there it tastes exactly you got one big tortilla chip i gotta snap that all the fucking crumbs go over the goddamn table hey you know what them chips are free say again you should be happy them chips are free you're not hardest for indians to give anything free son that's why i don't believe it say what say what we get that shit from our heart what do you give for your heart the the fucking the papa that's our heart we give the free free food yeah bro the free indian food is the worst well how come when i leave i have to eat fucking bird seeds

in the bowl and shit what's that like fucking liquor oh you don't like a mouth freshener after the meal that's why why is that the mouth freshener like you never heard of gum you know what i'm saying why y'all always want to smell bad? What is it about you guys that you're so committed to smelling horrible, son? What is it about that? It's like there's gum right there. You could do a chicle. And who made chicle?

Mexicans, bro. I'm telling you. I'm fine with Mexicans. Mexicans might have the best. I told you I'm fine with Mexicans, right? Y'all can give them the goat. But say objectively they have the best food. No, I won't say that.

Objectively. Objectively, they're up there. Up there with whites? Can I tell you white people that got great food objectively? Who? Italianos. We all have Italian. Thank you.

Hey, hey. Be careful. This mic's expensive. You're right. You paid for it. I'm trying to get it over the top. I'm trying to get it over the top. Okay. But white. Well, listen. Italians. Excellent cuisine. careful it's mike's expenses you're right you're paid for it okay um but white well listen italians excellent cuisine that is great white cuisine anybody who says it's not his hate is like can i say as an objective observer honestly okay my background

is scottish and german white and white go white and white yeah poor ahead. White and white. Yeah. Poor cuisine. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Poor cuisine. Okay? Poor. Yeah. Scottish food, not good. German food, not good. What the fuck is that?

Bro, they invented hot dogs and hamburgers. Exactly. Yeah. Not good. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay? Not good. Not good.

That being said, okay? Obviously, there's a bigger thing at play here you know what i mean like we you know white white people got to diversify what we're good at you know italians are going to do the food thing right scots are going to do i don't know what we're good at and germans you know we're not going to mention these motherf motherfuckers be engineers, bro. These motherfuckers be engineering. We're coming up with so many solutions. Bro, I don't know if you need another one after, to be honest with you.

I don't think you need another after. I think Mexicans just came from Italian. You know what they say, third Reich's a charm. Get away from him. This guy's trying to get us cancer. 30 days. But I think Mexicans just came from Italians. Say again?

Mexicans just came from Italians. Like they evolved from Italians. How so? What's the Mexican flag? Red, white, and green. But it's also got an eagle. What's the Mexican flag? Red, white, and green But it's also got an eagle What's the Italian flag? And a snake

Red, white, and green Same flag, bro Damn, Mark Hey, Mark It's really cool seeing young you Hey, Mark, bro Listen I did it again

I can't even help you Don't point it at me Come on, son You trying to kill me? I could kill you. You could get a boner off of that shit. Do you think Hitler ever did that? He ever stood a few feet away from his bitch and was like, grab it.

Off to the right. He probably whispered in her ear dude wait why I have a huge car that's what he said oh man okay okay let's listen we gotta call Mike Feeney okay can I piss and then we call him yes we'll set it up

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We're going to all need this thousand dollars, man. Anyway, so if you'd like to put a little cash back in your pocket right now, see how much you can save by reshopping your home insurance rates at policygenius.com. Go do that. Let's get back to the show. Okay, everybody. We. Go do that. Let's get back to the show. Okay, everybody. We took a little break. Now we're back with a dear friend.

Well, I don't know if you're a dear friend. I'm not going to lie. You're not a dear friend, but you're someone I like a lot. Okay. You're a friend. You're a buddy. But we're not hanging all the time. You know what I'm saying?

We're not just going out to get pizza or some shit. You don't hang out with a lot of people, yeah i have a small circle is that do you know but um but here with a second tier friend it's a second tier we got a nice second tier friend we have a second tier friend okay but uh all-star replacement all-star replacement very funny comic um a guy that i enjoy being around when we're ever at the clubs together you know and we're talking I like you I like this pristine

well now it's not very pristine now you have this weird facial hair thing going on but generally speaking you have this pristine look but I know that there inside of you is this rage burning this anger this Long Island rage.

Irish. Absolute Irish Catholic rage is burning under the surface. I feel like you are, Mike Feeney is like one second away from a road rage incident at any point in time. That's the energy that you walk around with. It's like you're smiling, but at any point in time. That's the energy that you walk around with. It's like you're smiling, but at any point in time, you would love to just take somebody's face and smash it into something hard.

That's a dream of mine. This is Mike Feeney making his first appearance. Maybe not his first appearance. No, him and Cannon were on one. His first solo appearance on the Flagrant 2 podcast. Mike, how are you, my friend? Good, pal. Just trying to stay alive during this.

Dude, we go back so long. I remember when you used to be a flat brim hat guy, you know? That's how far you've come. That is true. I used to do a Yankee fitted. Yeah? I used to have a Yankee fitted. Those were the old, what was it called?

Lantern days, man. Yeah, those Lantern days lantern days yeah i used to say phoenix was your little brother he just looked like that's why i had to stop wearing hats people like you wouldn't stop saying that so phoenix how has your quarantine been going you've been with your wife are you guys still together you beating her up what's what's going on with that uh to say, I don't know what my wife's Italian instincts have kicked in during this quarantine. And she's leveled up her cooking game to a place that I can't possibly describe. Really?

She used to be able to cook. Now she's like a fucking chef. She's like doing Instapot. She's doing, she's like making little, she just made hummus for the first time and murdered it. She's making all different types of cuisines. I see that you're putting up a lot of food pictures too. So there's something right now about the food game is being stepped up in a dramatic way. They're going back, this writer said that animals are returning back to their natural habitats.

And I think her name is Melissa Chen. But she's like, women are going back in the kitchen it's fucking great we got dolphins in the canals in venice and women in the kitchen it couldn't be better right um now phoenix what what is this anger about i want to get to the source of this anger why why are you so angry what's this fucking anger about i don't man it doesn't things just piss you off everything piss pisses me off, especially driving. Like, you nailed it, really, with the driving, man. I don't know what it is.

But there's a deeper issue, Feeney. It's not driving. Something else is going on. It's because everybody else is an idiot but me. That's why it pisses me off, especially driving, you know? But, yeah, that's where it's easily on display. Now, you have this special that you've been putting out you've been putting out content you've started to blow up on tiktok i was very proud of you for that i thought it was awesome doing it on tiktok because feeney's one of these guys that like

everybody you're one of the guys that will actually do it right like a lot of people ask me for advice and then i'll give them advice and then they won't do anything but you're one of the guys who will ask me for advice and you'll actually go there and do it. And I remember it was like maybe over a year ago, you were like, what should I do? I was like, just put out content for a year and then talk to me in a year. And then I think you said within like only 11th month and two weeks left, I'm sure you were burning with rage. You're like, I can't wait to tell him nothing happened. I can't wait to tell him I did this for a whole fucking year and nothing happened.

And then all of a sudden you explode on TikTok. Yeah, I was marking the days on the calendar to tell you you were wrong. You had that guitar ready to smash over my head. Jeff Jarrett style, bro. Yeah, just fucking. So what happens? So what happens? You're hanging out.

Tell me when the video goes viral. What's the experience like? You finally. Nobody was on. No comedians are really on tiktok i guess because everyone thinks it's you know for 12 year old asian girls and it might be but there's also 600 million people on the app and it was more downloaded than instagram last year so i just started putting one minute clips on there and then uh the one that blew up the one that blew up uh is the joke i have called the solutionolution to Gun Control, which, if you remember,

came about from Inside Jokes, which was all three of us. There you go. So, a gila's nosh back in the day, rest in peace. A gila's nosh, not gila. Gila's still alive. Well, yes, of course. I just broke that news Oh Andrew you have Sorry about that

Corona got a good one Yeah But that's right You did that bit It was a great bit It was For Inside Jokes And you posted it on TikTok

And it fucking goes viral It blew up Yeah man It got I think it has It had over 5 million views Whoa crazy The rest was

The rest was history man I woke up to my phone with all these, you know, like just jumped up 40,000 followers in one night and now we're sitting pretty at like 250. Whoa. Yeah. And the videos are catching, which is great. But yeah, I think I did it the right way

by putting out the clips, you know, as recommended by you, one by one, and then putting the whole special out because since then uh the fan base has grown so now you have a special that's out rage against the routine yes and it's on youtube and completely free it's available on youtube everybody can go watch it make sure you go check out mike feeney rage against the routine now um did you include in your marketing for the special how none of the networks wanted you how nobody wanted you okay this is something i gotta clarify okay boy i want comics to put

their stuff out on youtube and i want them to do everything that i've done that's worked for me it's for all you guys to do it 100 but and i you haven't done this but like there are comics out there who have uh kind of taken a narrative in the wrong way i've never promoted a special as nobody wanted this because that doesn't make sense hey i want you to watch something why should i watch it because nobody wanted it ever nobody has ever hey you know all those other networks you like they didn't like it so you should watch it hey i'm gonna show every network that said no because they thought it was bad even though you like all the stuff they usually post and then you should watch my shit that's not how we watch stuff you

basically gave yourself a zero star rating on yelp and then ask people to go to your restaurant 100 that's not that's never how i promoted especially what i always did was i put out a project that had a theme right like the 441 it was that this is a night in new york the views for the cis was this is a pushback against all the pc shit that i saw in in like you know normal corporate or whatever comedy etc all the networks but i never was like the reason you should watch this because nobody wants it but i think comics have seen my journey and they're like oh the way you get people to support you is you say that nobody wanted your shit and then they get behind you that's not how it works you're just saying that your special sucks i think they're trying to do that us first them

mentality but yeah they're really overplaying the hand but you create us first them in a different way you can galvanize people not by the networks not supporting them because people can't relate to that the average person that just has an accounting job isn't going yeah you know amazon passed on me too right there's nothing it just makes no sense so i'm gonna yeah yeah that's why for me like even talking to you right now like i want people to understand your rage so that when we get to the point of your special we're like yo you got to check out feeney's special it's called rage against the routine then they get a sense of who you are as a person and they're like oh shit i get i get pissed off about mundane shit, too.

Maybe I want to fuck with this special as well. Dude, here's what I'm saying. 100%. Is this like Seinfeld with emotion? Like a less autistic Seinfeld? Let me guess. You go on stage like, whoa, I'm on stage. Whoa.

Whoa, I came into the same stage that I always come into. I'm going to act crazy about that. Oh, man. How trash is Seinfeld, right? I love Seinfeld. I'm such a hater about that. Oh, man. How trash is Seinfeld, right? I love Seinfeld. I'm such a hater. I love Seinfeld. How trash is that fucking show?

He's a monolith, but fucking that last special I just watched, man. Not great. Not great. I need to see it. I haven't seen it. We don't trash comedian specials on this show, okay? I didn't trash it.

You just trashed the human being. You just trashed the human beings themselves. I got you. All right. I meant how trash is the show, okay? I didn't trash it. You just trashed the human being. You just trashed the human beings themselves. Yeah, I got you. All right, all right. I meant how trash is the show, Seinfeld? Oh, no. Fuck that, dude. That show's great.

You like that show? Everybody likes the show. Listen, do you know what? You know how? Pretzels make you thirsty. No, you know the only thing more basic? No. The only thing more basic, bitch.

We eat pretzels without something to drink. No. The only thing that's more basic, bitch bitch than fucking liking Seinfeld is trying to be the contrarian, I don't like Seinfeld. Oh, shit. That's that shit. He made that point with a pen in his hand. That's how you know it's real.

First of all, no one says they don't like Seinfeld. You do. I'm the only one. You're not the only one. I'm the only one that says they don't like Seinfeld. You do. I'm the only one. You're not the only one. I'm the only one that says they don't like Seinfeld. Name another person that says it. Mad people say it. Name one.

My brother don't like it. He's smart. Anybody who likes friends. Think about it. Nobody says they don't like Seinfeld because everybody wants Seinfeld to give them some shit. I don't give a fuck what Seinfeld gives me. The show stinks. The show is bad.

It's objectively bad comedy. It is objectively it's objectively bad comedy it is objectively it is it isn't objectively elaine doesn't have one female friend fuck out of here i don't know if she does but that's the ones that she lives with her roommates she doesn't have a female roommate she's got female female roommate. Maybe the most realistic thing in the show. Maybe the most realistic thing in the show. Might be. I just can't buy it, dude. It doesn't make any sense.

I don't relate to it in any way. And I grew up in Manhattan. These are my people. Yeah. These are my people, and I'm telling you it's fake. Like, what if Italians crash the prom? Nobody watches Seinfeld for the reality. Say again? You won't watch Seinfeld for the reality.

You're not like, yo, it's such a realistic depiction of the city. Nobody watches Seinfeld for the reality. Say again? You won't watch Seinfeld for the reality. You're not like, yo, it's such a realistic depiction of the city. Hold on, I thought his whole comedy is, look how relatable this is, everybody goes through this. So it is the reality. The comedy is in the small things that we all go through, but the show itself as a whole isn't supposed to be some

non-fiction fucking display of New York. You guys are right, it's comedic genius. Isn't it crazy how like I was trying to park here and now you're trying to park here? How are we going to work

out this dispute? That sounds pretty brilliant. That sounds like fire. Where's Alec Baldwin when you need him, right? I don't see how that relates, but yo, the rest

of it sounded fire. If you replace Alec Baldwin with Kramer, ball game. Fuck this show. Hitman Holla ball game yeah man holla ball game shouts out like a man who's seen every episode of this show i think by proxy i've seen every episode and i'm just like just like do you really watch it and you go uh you you laugh out loud like you laugh like you would laugh at the office you laugh out loud i laugh out loud i laugh out loud mainly at kramer

yo kramer kramer great man i don't care how great george is fucking great george is one of the best characters of all time why characters why because because he's mad he gets fucked over every single time his life is miserable it's great all right peter jerry stiller by the way you shouldn't on seinfeld on quite the day. What happened to Jerry Stiller? Jerry Stiller died yesterday. From Corona? Nah, I don't think so. From 92? If he was supposed to go, he's supposed to go. Isn't he old?

How old is he? I can't argue with 92. He's 92 and we're gonna feel bad about this? But he's still funny, though. He was still funny, yo. Funny till the end. He was still fake. He has so many funny lines. I'm going to be honest with you. Best part of the show.

Jerry Stiller. Jerry Stiller. Best part of the show. I'm going to be honest with you. You could make that argument. You could make that argument. Might have been the only redeeming part of Seinfeld

is Jerry Stiller and his wife. Their relationship. Only redeeming part. Hilarious. Yeah. Yeah. It was fucking great, man. All right.

What are more things you like that suck? Can I tell you this thing, though? Alright, well. Were you going to do a bit like this is a late night show? Can I tell you this thing?

We got a Byron Allen. We got to like set you up like randomly. So, Mike Feeney, you've been brushing your teeth with an electronic toothbrush. It's funny you say that? You ever notice about Sonicare, how it's not? No,

man, but it's, it's a crazy thing. Cause, uh, you know, I've been talking to my mom was in Florida. Uh,

so I haven't seen her. I was supposed to be down there this weekend. Right. But, uh, I haven't seen her since the thing in Florida is like crazy. They just, there's no restrictions. They letting everybody do whatever the fuck they want. Yeah.. And Florida is like crazy. There's no restrictions.

They're letting everybody do whatever the fuck they want. And my mom is like classic, like, who gives a shit? If they say it's good, we're good to go. I'm not going to stop them, right? And my mom very little watches the news. So she really doesn't have any grasp of what's going on here. And I think my mom's fully Florida now, dude. She's losing it.

Talk to me because I like this. Okay. I'll tell you. She calls me the other night at like 10 o'clock at night, and she goes, she saw this article about a woman that was in a coma. I don't know if you heard about this. She was in a coma and one of the orderlies

raped her and got her pregnant, and the woman had a baby while in a coma. Best way to do it. And had no idea, right? Best way to have the baby. I mean, what is an epidural? An epidural is a body coma, right?

You just don't feel anything, right? Isn't that what an epidural essentially does? I guess so. If you wanted a baby, hypothetically... Dude, this is where I'm going. This is where I'm going. My my mom goes first i'm she's like did you hear the story i go yeah i go that's horrifying it's such a horrifying thing and she

goes right but here's what i'm thinking she goes listen she goes there's so many like unfortunate women that can't have babies out there yeah why can't we make coma surrogates and just sign it up like an organ donor? If I'm in a coma, I'll have your baby. You can just put it. That's not a bad idea. It's not the worst idea. What's the deal with vegetables having kids?

I mean, let's use them for something or pull the plug. We should save some money on electricity in here. Did somebody say vegetable? Did somebody say vegetable? Jared, do you have some vegetables? Do you need me to get you guys some vegetables? He's a hater.

That's every episode of Seinfeld, right? I'd like some vegetables. That is literally no episode of Seinfeld ever. That's every Seinfeld episode, right? Let's do a Seinfeld episode right now, right? Let's do a Seinfeld episode right now. Okay. Here's a Seinfeld episode.

Here's a Seinfeld episode. Walks out, stubs toe on the threshold. Hey. Why do we still have thresholds? I mean, it's not like if you get married you actually carry your woman your wife over a threshold i'm interested what's the point of a threshold where's this going i don't know what threshold is for that's kind of stupid ah we shouldn't have thresholds storyline b right the joke fell apart at the end a lot of funny, though.

Seinfeld would do 15 minutes of funny on the threshold. But how would it be funny? You had something with the wife carrying. With the wife carrying, it was going to be good.

And that's the genius of Seinfeld as he keeps going. But you know what I was going to come back with? I was going to come back with Kramer walks in and trips over

the fucking threshold. And then it's like, oh, the threshold has come full circle. This is an episode of Seinfeld. See how unfunny it is? No. He's a hater.

You left out a lot. He's a hater. But that's what it is. If you break down an episode of Seinfeld, make it funny. It's funny. How? Because it's funny.

All right, guys. Final break. This don't even feel like a break. I got to shout out the homies man Radix Shout out to Radix Remedies You already know Radix Remedies

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R-A-D-I-X. Remedies.com. Peace. Let's get back to the show. Okay. So your mom thinks that we should rape women in comas and then make them have children. Dude, that's what i was like i was like rape that's what you're saying and she's like and this was her line that i was like oh my mom's

fully lost it she goes they're just laying there anyway oh hold on these are these these are people who these are people who will never wake up again i mean who knows that's the thing about comas you could be in a coma for three days honestly that was kind of funny that was kind of funny right there and if that was an episode of seinfeld maybe it's that the subject material is too soft for me to be invested in. Like, I don't care about parking tickets. I don't care about any of this shit. But if it was like women in comas getting raped and like becoming surrogates because

they're just laying there. Right. You know what I mean? That would be kind of, you know what I mean? That'd be kind of fire. Seinfeld meets the handsmaid tale. That'd be cool to see Kramer busting the door of the fucking coma unit. I gotta get my seed. Which one are we gonna pick?

Not the black ones Oh dude Oh god Is your pop still alive? Yeah yeah They're just divorced He also lives in Florida Do they hang out?

Do they see each other? Nah they're on different coasts. Why? Did they make that decision knowing who was on what coast? Yeah, my mom moved down there like 10 years before my dad. But that's the Long Island way. You turn like 60, you have to move to Florida. Otherwise, I don't know, they come for you.

Yeah, you also don't want to be in this fucking cold. Yeah, dude. I mean, there's no point to be here. I'm ready to get out now. You don't have to. in this fucking cold yeah dude i mean there's no point to be here i'm ready to get out now have to yeah um now so they go down there uh do you think your dad was chasing after that old tail or do you think that he was trying to live a different life breaking hips he was living different like he was already remarried to someone older he remarried older wow an older woman yeah and she's the opposite of my mom uh i don't know how much older she is than my mom but she's older than him and my dad was like five years younger

that i mean my dad was five years older than my mom so he went like probably like a seven year eight year swing and this new woman and he's he just crushing that box or i can't imagine she's very like chill and like reading out by the porch you know what i mean right like no sun just kind of like chill she's an artist maybe she's tired from fucking your dad yo that's true fuck he could be turning her into smithereens do you know what that is i don't think that you've seen my dad's physical body uh he's like, he used to be my size. He's now 260. 260. And it's just,

it's all six foot, 260, Santa stomach, Budweiser for the last 35 years will do that. But maybe she just hops on that,

right? With that dried out and then they just go to fucking town. And maybe the sweat from underneath his stomach helps her. Oh yeah,

when she needs to wet up, she just dips a pinky in his belly button and just rubs that shit. You guys are just bad people. That's what it is. Let's get back to talking about raping coma surrogates. No, but what if it's an option like when you get your license? If I'm in a coma, you can- Yes.

Use my fucking organs. Or my vagine. Or my vagine for good. You put it on your driver's license. That's what I'm saying. Like an organ donor. Now, here's the thing. I think a lot of people are taking this in a bad way because they're like, oh, you're going to fuck them.

And then they're going to get pregnant. What you're saying is like you should like use artificial insemination. Yeah. I mean, you know, I guess. But what I'm saying is. Or would you get the job done yourself? No, I'm saying let's say you and your girl, you can't have kids because you know, I guess. But what I'm saying is... Or will you get the job done yourself? No, I'm saying, let's say you and your girl, you can't have kids because you got a broke dick

or whatever it is, you know? You guys want to have a baby or she can't have a baby. You take the cum, you put it in her, and then you fucking make the baby. But how you get it in her, I think, changes how we look at the situation, right? Yeah. If you, like, kill Bill, it's fucked up.

But if you go turkey base then i think we can understand it especially if this person's a vegetable forever well listen it's all supervised what what i just lost interest that's that's for the medical professionals have to be present obviously it's not just one guy running in there with a baster of cum, just squirting. But when you're with the doctor and the doctor is doing like the turkey basing, do you think when he does the final push, you just go, oh, don't touch it. Don't touch it. Pull it out slowly.

Pull it out. Leave a little overbelly. Leave a little. After shocks. After shocks. Oh, buddy. Dude, how great would that be? Beanie, wild motherfucker.

Yeah, man. That would be crazy, I think, though. You know? There'd be painless pregnancies. That's what women always say. That's the worst pain ever. You know? Having a baby.

Boom. You wake up. How you feeling? Great. By the way, you had a kid whoa yeah yeah if they wake up yeah yeah i'd be kind of fucked if they were nightmare the nightmare is if you artificially inseminate them and they wake up from the coma mid-childbirth. That would be the absolute hell. That's crazy. That would be pure hell. What do you do in that moment?

But it did wake you up. So... Oh! You know, silver lining. Oh. Guys, I think we figured it out. That would be a good way to cure female coma patients.

I think we... Yeah, what do we do with the men in a coma? Can we stuff, like, wounds in their ass? Can we... Can we... For fun them in their ass Can we Can we For fun See if that wakes them up

Son That's the most Dude way To wake your boy In a coma Like The doctor's like Your friend's in a coma

He's not like I'll work Alright get me a cucumber fam Now we gonna see You're just jamming a cucumber Oh you really in a coma, Todd? Really, Todd? I see you smiling.

Yeah. Be honest. You would try it. We honestly would try it. 100%. And then if he wakes up, you can call him gay for the rest of your life. He's fake sleep, bro. He's fake sleep.

Don't believe this shit. You take it out of his ass, put it right under his nose. He's like. believe this shit you take it out of his ass put it right under his nose he's like oh fucking feeny man yeah dude feeny what are you thinking how long we in this quarantine you think we're ready to get back to these shows or what man i i still have clubs there's a club in seattle that still has me going out there in july and i'm not confident about that anymore but i'm i'm starting you would do it, but you're not confident they will allow it.

They're asking me. They're like, you're still good, but I'm like, I don't know that the world's going to be good to do that, you know, by then. July's soon. Just do it, bro. Who cares if you get it, Feeny?

You got no kids. Your parents don't love you. They moved to the other side of the country. Yeah. First off, I already have it. Your dad's fucking his new mom. Everything is good. I got corona, baby. Your parents don't love you. They moved to the other side of the country. Yeah. First off, I already have. Dad's fucking his new mom. Everything is good. I got Corona, baby.

I still can't. I haven't been able to smell since March. I have no sense of smell. That's crazy. I was very sick. Yeah, it really sucks. That's crazy. Wait a minute.

You have Corona? I don't know if I, I mean, I think I definitely had it. And it's probably still in me because I don't have my full sense of smell back. And that's like the biggest symptom. I had all this shit besides a fever. Every other symptom I had it. And it's probably still in me because I don't have my full sense of smell back. And that's like the biggest symptom. I had all this shit besides a fever. Every other symptom I had. How do you neglect to mention

the most interesting thing about you in the beginning of this shit? 30 minutes of an interview. Yeah. Yeah. We did, I did the helium.

I did Philly helium. We bumped you last week and you still didn't think of this story? You had a whole week to remind yourself that you had corona and then we could talk about it and you start with road rage you you fucking byron allen me into that listen i didn't think you had to take it i was just trying to set the table i was like yeah he likes road

rage and you're like yeah you don't like it better fucking dead chicks you know what you set that up very perfectly like an episode of sign baby fucking got me right there um but no no i definitely had and my wife i think had it too uh it was my wife had caught it worse than i did she had the fever for like three straight days and everything it felt just like a really terrible flu and then what what happened with that when she had the fever like what'd you do with her did you fucking well we they said if you're at three days at over a hundred and at the time it was like 103 we don't care about the temperature bro we just want to know how you treated her when she was all sick

oh i gave her i gave her tylenol and fucking a cold compress there's nothing you could she just slept for so much of the time but she's also one of the she can italian they don't want you she like refuses to accept any help at all whatsoever yeah so which i just kind of was playing video games uh but uh yeah dude it was you know you got a i got like a two-day, 48-hour. You got a vacation from marriage. That's fantastic. Yo, be honest, be honest.

When she had corona, did you try to fuck? Is she going to get pregnant in seven months? That's what we're trying to figure out. Keep it real. Oh, corona, baby? Keep it real. When she said she couldn't taste anything, were you like, I have an idea?

couldn't taste anything were you like i have an idea let's test that i can't smell anything and i can't taste anything you're like i haven't showered in three days i have an idea of an activity for us babe it's time to bond dude we were is that when your mom gave you the coma theory? When you were like, yeah, my wife just keeps sleeping. She was like, hey, interesting story. I want a child, Michael. I want a child. Down in Florida, they're doing interesting things with people that sleep all day. Dude, it was brutal. I just hate that I can't smell anything.

It's driving me crazy. In New York, it's all right. Like walking around the street because nobody has cleaned the street. So everything smells like garbage, which is great. I can't smell that. It's a fucking superpower. But otherwise, it's all right like walking around the street because there's nobody has cleaned the street so everything smells like garbage which is great i can't smell that it's a fucking superpower but otherwise it's a it's been a nightmare man i just smelled rubbing alcohol before this podcast i tried to smell it got nothing from it whoa that's nothing damn dog you can't smell anymore bro i hope it comes back they say it comes back after a couple weeks i had it the second week of march so what i don't think you're getting your smell back bro that's crazy i don't know if i am man and it really is a bummer

because things that i love like the smell of coffee can't smell it anymore or i can i smell a little bit but it doesn't smell what i like the smell it smells like a weird shitty version of it have you tried shaving that horrible mustache? Hot calling the kettle black. What is it? What is it? How is it? How is it, Mark? Yo, we need to get that. Yo, we need to get that

as a button for our hit that, bro. Hit that it. Yo, we need to get that as a button for our... Hit that, bro. Hit that, hit that, hit that, hit that. How's that show not fire, yo? I don't know what he just did, bro. That's the hottest theme song on earth. That's what they do

in between the show. They do the music and then at the very end it goes... Like that. I thought he slaps that bass, bro. That's in the beginning. The song's got an arc bro see the i thought that shit ain't fire all right stop you're gonna get flagged for that shit bro come on

damn bro all right maybe seinfeld is fire man this is hot hey bro he's the he's the best bro yo he's yo seinfeld might be the yo son it's mad difficult to eat on a plane bro have y'all ever tried that hey bro have y'all ever tried you know i didn't try because i heard seinfeld saying how hard it was it's so difficult. Hey, like, how do you lower the thing in first class where you have a fucking cabin to yourself? Stop trying to relate to me. You know what's interesting about his new special, though, is that no networks wanted it.

So he had to put it. The industry's clueless, you know? This shit is so funny when I see it we comic stop it bro stop it you gotta think about something market something in a way that people want to see it not in a way they shouldn't don't give everybody the reason why they shouldn't watch respect no everybody should watch i'm gonna say i'm gonna go the other way i'm gonna say that everybody wanted my special and i turned all them down. Now. Fuck everybody. There we go. That's a smart move.

The way it works, the way it works after the fact is you create David versus Goliath, right? If you were like nobody, after you have successful, after you do a million views, then you go nobody wanted it and I still got a million views.

Then it's exciting for the people because they relate to that. But if you're like nobody wanted it and nobody still watched it, they're like, there was a reason. So Feeny, bro, tell the people, man, why should we watch the special? Guys, I've been doing comedy fucking over 11 years now.

This is my debut special, over 50 minutes, stand-up comedy. It took place, filmed it right here in New York City, New York Comedy Club. And I think it's fucking great. The feedback has been great so far on it.

I'm really proud of it. What is one joke that they have to see in it? Because nobody cares how long you've been doing comedy. Nobody cares where you filmed it. Nobody cares about these things. You want to do that over? Yeah, we're going to do it. We're going to redo it. We're going to practice redo it we're gonna practice this we're gonna practice it is

what is one bit because that's how i would pitch it to somebody i was like bro you just got to watch the special he's got this one bit about fucking surrogates coma coma women being yeah i'm beginning to think you don't know how to lead things because you led your pitch with i'm old uh i've been doing comedy a long time you know this is the first time you've i've done anything you sound like akash trying to get pussy bro that's what i got a small dick i'm not that tall you know what i mean and i'm figuring things out with my partner and might be moving to jersey not exactly sure how he's doing There's a reason I only had one It acts like It was his choice

Being a virgin Until 30 Hey I'm from India I'm not used to women Having choices I don't know What do you want What do you want

What do you want We would have Knocked this shit Off the park Way earlier Back home Yeah Oh man Dude if you're gonna If you're gonna You should watch the special way earlier back home yeah oh man

if you're gonna you should watch the special because of just go watch the solution gun control bit what's your favorite bit on it? cause that's how I would pitch it I'd be like bro cause we always think about that like when we're pitching each other specials like yo you gotta see Burr's special why? he's got this bit about a helicopter

ride you know what I mean? it's usually like one thing so what's the one thing that you think people should check out and then they'll watch the whole thing hopefully too outside of the gun control thing my favorite bit on the album is uh is a perfect example of how petty and angry that i get i went on a plane and got uh and was first i was just trying to drink because i drink on a plane i'm not gonna do the whole bit but i was just trying to drink on the plane. The woman comes over and first off, she judges me

for ordering a drink because it was early. But it's like, fuck you. We might fucking crash. I'm not going down sober. Fuck off, you know? And then I proceeded

to get, to have six drinks on the flight instead of my usual two. To spite her. To spite her. All pettiness, dude. And it was all pettiness

and got absolutely hammered. She gave me this obnoxious thing. I tried to be nice and was like, can I open the tab? And she does a whole thing where she was like, this is an airplane, not a bar. It's fucking obnoxious. And then I get the stewardess said that to me. She goes, this is an airplane. She lemon squeaked like not a bar.

She did that with her face. And that's why I was like, I'm going to get shit-faced despite her today. I love it. Yeah, it's all about petty. If you're petty or you got raged, you'll like that bit. It's perfect justice. And you might like the rest of it. That's what we should have called the special, Petty Justice.

Ooh, good name for the next one, Feeney. Write it down. Write it down, Petty Justice. Yeah, man. And then make sure you check Feeney out on um tiktok your mic on tiktok at i am mike feeney on all social media oh all of them yeah man okay so make sure you check out mike mike will be back on but i love you man i think it's great i think you're a hard worker i think there's a lot of comics uh i think there's a lot of comics that

pretend that they want it but they're not really willing to do all the work. They'll do like bare minimum work. And I think that you've always struck me as someone, and this is why I put up with your fucking annoying ass text message. You will text me at like two in the morning and be like, do you think this is a good caption? I have better shit to do than write your fucking captions. I'm always thinking.

But the reason why I always respond about it is because one, I believe in you, but also because you'll fucking do the work i know you'll do the work and it's so cool to see and so refreshing to see and i think that people who are willing to do the work and put in the fucking work uh deserve success that comes with that man so i wish you the best with everything i was super excited for you when shit started to blow up on tiktok and i hope millions of people start to watch your special uh but don't define it by that, obviously. Do you know what I'm saying? Whatever you get, you have to feel confident

with the product, man. I'm already happy with it. Really? So it's going. Yeah, baby. It's doing well. Great, man. So thank you so much for coming on, dog. Anything else you want to tell the people about? And it's Rage Against the Routine. Check it out. Not Rage Against the Machine.

Rage Against the Routine. Obviously, it's a play off the Routine. Check it out. Not Rage Against the Machine. Rage Against the Routine. Obviously, it's a play off Feeney's favorite band, which is Rage Against the Machine. Yes. I love the title, yo. Rage Against the Routine. It's perfect. Great title. It's perfect.

Great title. I appreciate that. Thank you. Yeah. Other than that, if you guys want to listen to podcasts, Irish Goodbye Podcast with Mike Cannon. I can't believe I forgot this. So yeah.

So Mike Cannon has also been on here. Y'all love Mike. They do a podcast together called the Irish Goodbye Podcast. Got a patreon and you guys got a patreon as well we started we started a second podcast called what's the scenario with me canon and uh brennan sagalow shout out to sagalow man sagalow's the greatest so yeah so man check out all their stuff man they got tons of stuff out there and canon also had as a special uh that's out as well hilarious life begins uh life begins super super funny he's been doing these great ellen degeneres videos oh they're so funny he's totally losing his mind

so good dude anyway i i wish you guys much success i think you guys are very important for new york comedy and i'll be here to support you guys in any way you can i'm sure our gosh feel the same yep yep and uh we love you buddy be good all right appreciate you have a good one boys absolutely thanks for having me uh we love you buddy be good all right appreciate you have a good one boys absolutely