Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh - Drake Photoshopped His TlTS!

Episode Date: March 31, 2020

What up people, Schulzy here with my main man Akaash Singh. Look Akaash legit might have that 'rona, so we're being extra cautious. We break down WHY Neil Degrasse Tyson is a simp, what thots gonna do without their sugar daddies, and how drake photoshopped his chest to look swole. INDULGE!

what's up everybody welcome to um another episode of flagrant 2 you know i'm saying i'm andrew schultz and we have a very special guest here we have flagrant's first corona victim akash singh i knew you were going to get it, bro. I did call it. Did I not call it? You called it. Okay. You called it, but I don't know if I got it.

If you guys are listening, you're not getting the full experience. I just want to say Akash is dressed as a fucking diaper right now. He is in full hazmat gear, winter gloves, and a, what's it called? Face mask. Face mask. And this is all off of suspicion. I look like Breaking Bad. Yes.

The worst episode. Remember the fly episode? Yeah, yeah. Ozark had a fly episode. I'm watching Ozark this season. Have you watched Ozark yet? Season and a half in, I quit. I hear you.

I understand. It is Breaking Bad. Yeah. Only with money laundering instead of meth. But don't tell me anything about it. I don't know. I don't think so. Okay, go. You find it. Yeah, I find it somehow don't tell me anything about it i don't know i don't think so okay go you find i just yeah i find it somehow more boring less likable yeah like there's nobody

redeeming yet for me yeah yeah no okay fair enough i hear you yeah you really don't like those people yeah breaking bad walt like had moments where he grew on you jesse had moments where you're like this guy's funny man yeah i don't find that with those art yeah you're like, this guy's funny, man. Yeah. I don't find that with Ozark. Yeah. You're like, I've noticed, like easily swayed by bad parenting. Do you see my nose just make it out of the mask? That was impressive, dude. So if you're watching video right now, you can obviously see what happens. If you're just listening to the podcast, I would suggest at some point in time, you go check out the video because we're in full gear. Marky Gagnon is on the

ones and twos. I look like a Ghostbusters logo. Yeah, dude. Like I'm climbing through a red circle. Yeah, dude. It is serious. Now, this is why we're taking these precautions. You said your girl might have it. So my girl, Saturday night, has a body ache and a sore throat no fever yeah i wonder what that's from yeah i'm saying hot friday night saturday gonna be a little rough right oh gosh you must not know the work i put in she feels great she feels great oh she does after oh yeah um no it's Really? I can stop saying no. But no, and then I'm not thinking much of it. And then Sunday, our hot water's messed up.

Super comes over and he's like, hey, you guys are going to get a notice soon. Someone in the apartment has corona. And so then I'm like, oh, fuck. I text you guys. Hey, here's the deal. I feel like I should do. I talked fuck. Yeah. I text you guys. Hey, here's the deal. I feel like I should do. I talked to my uncle. He's a doctor.

He's like, I don't think you've got it. But just do social distancing to be safe. Yeah. So I texted you guys. And now I'm here and we're just taking as many precautions as we can. Now, you also have a second mask that you refuse to wear, which is bothering me. I don't refuse to wear it. If you start coughing, I'll put on the real one.

OK. I have the N95 mask right here. Yeah. On the bicep. Yeah. Andrew stole an N95 mask. I didn to wear it. If you start coughing, I'll put on the real one. Okay. I have the N95 mask right here. Yeah. On the bicep. Yeah. Andrew stole an N95 mask. I didn't steal it. Ed didn't left it here, and he never retrieved it, you know?

So I figured not just leave it on the ground. I might as well take it if my girl needs to get groceries or something like that. I give her the mask. I've just forgot to bring it back to my girl. Yo, life is good out here, baby. You know what I mean? Good money over here. I feel fine.

Girl feels fine. No fever, no nothing. But I just want to be safe. No, that's good. And I'm glad you're safe. And I'm glad you're well. I just want to point out, I knew you were going to be the one to get it first. But we don't know that I got it yet.

You got it. I knew you had it a week ago. I knew you had it last week when I fucking looked at you in your COVID eyes. That was two weeks ago. I would be, I'd be fasted by now. Can I say something really important right now? Huh? When all I can see is your eyes, you weren't pretty, motherfucker.

Son, I'm not going to lie. Son, you pretty, bro. Yo, you pretty out here, aren't you? Look, give him that single. Let him look into my eyes like a little cobra. Damn. I just want to whistle you out of a basket oh gosh you think i can whistle myself out of a basket i hope not dog but for real if you

sneeze or cough i'll put on the covid mask the chinese virus mask the chinese flu i mean i think you should put it on anyway why are you calling it covid why are you doing that cuck shit it's just less syllables that's all chinese virus i got no problem chinese virus kung flu kung flu called kung flu yeah covid mask too far kung flu mask put on the kung flu mask yes put on the china mask put on be chinese son when i put this mask on and started driving yeah this is the most like the other asians i've ever felt in my life i say yo do you refer to them as other asians i mean because we refer to you guys as other yeah i know but i can't do that i can't call them the real asians son if i laugh my nose just pops right out the fucking mat these weren't built for me bruh they weren't built for all this schultz

dog that's not built for Jews. I'm not Jewish. Yeah, but the nose. You know what I mean? Someone had that joke. What is it? I'm Jewish. Who had that shit? Son, your mask is struggling.

Son, it's struggling right now. Is this a baby mask? Son, no. Who's this mask for, bro? Regular adult noses. You think? Or maybe it's for Asians because their faces are... You got no...

I keep looking away. I keep looking up and looking away when I laugh because I don't want to breathe too hard. You know what I mean? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because you're getting all over the fucking foam part of the mic. We're going to have to get a new foam thing. Just Lysol it, bitch.

Yeah, we will Lysol it. You're right. You're absolutely right, man. We got six feet between everybody. We're doing all right over here. No, no. We're taking to have to get a new foam thing. Just Lysol it, bitch. Yeah, we will Lysol it. You're right. You're absolutely right, man. We got six feet between everybody. We're doing all right over here. No, no. We're taking the necessary precautions. Akash hasn't touched anything since he's been in the studio.

My gloves, you know what I mean? Let me try to cover that water so you don't cough no shit in the water. I don't know what that did. That was the stupidest thing I've ever done. Guys, if you thought that I was stupid last podcast, guys, if you thought that I said something slightly retarded last podcast, I want you to just watch

what I did to protect the water from Akash spitting something in it. No. Can I say this? I got... Oh, fuck. Oh, fuck. What was that dumb?

What did I do, bro? Just say what I did I can't even explain So we got a big water jug And it's got like The tip of the spout That you pour the jug out of Yeah

He kept the water Exactly where it was But just spun the little tip Away from me As if Akash could only Cough on the tip of the jug It wouldn't just go in swish Oh man

You've been thinking Just the tip for a long time Bro I never just the tipped Oh or Did you propose it ever been thinking just the tip for a long time, huh? Bro, I never just the tipped. Oh, did you propose it ever? I say just the bottom. So let me just put the bottom of it in there, you know? Oh, God.

So Drake gave birth to Sam Roberts. You saw that? Oh, my God. Son, Sam Roberts' wife got to call up Drake. They got to call up that bitch, Sophie Brasucks, whatever her name is. And they got to have a conversation because that baby looks exactly like Sam Roberts' dog. Don't that baby always look surprised like it's the first time he's seen Drake? That thing is surprised like, I'm yours?

He don't look like Drake at all, bro. He don't look like the mom either. He looks like Drake's mom a little bit. Oh, I don't know what drake at all bro he don't look like the mom either he looks like drake's mom a little bit no i don't know what drake's mom looks i saw a picture on twitter that had the side by side or whatever pictures and then you might see something yeah but i he took apparently he took two paternity tests yeah because one came back or like it was like tainted on the way back or some shit but then i think he took two more is what I thought. He really didn't want that baby. No, but he wanted nothing to do with it. How do you explain that to your kid? Even the way you hold him.

I'm like, sure. Yo, the way you hold him in that picture, he looking at him like, I can't believe this shit. Hey, we gotta deal with this fucking thing. What's that? Corona only kills old people? Ah, motherfucker.

Fuck, goddammit, goddammit. Goddammit. You saw my nose pop out again? Somebody make a compilation of all the times my nose fucking creeps out of this. My nose has got a mind of its own. It's like, what y'all talking? Hey, hey, what y'all? Hey, y'all having fun out here?

Your nose trying to get Corona, yo. It really is. It just wants to be used for something. Do you think that the Corona would just give up as it was going? Like, as it was traveling up my nose it would just get tired bro be like Sisyphus pushing a rock up the hill

your nose got room like an apartment in middle America that shit is just it just gives up there's a lot of space to live my nose looks

at other people's nose like that's where you live you can see your kitchen from your bedroom oh a little studio apartment having noses bro you need some room dog hey watch this bro you see me suck all the air out the room got all the rona damn i just

lost my breath mark you good over there dog a little lightheaded y'all a little lightheaded i need my inhaler hey dog hey dog all right so um yeah the drake son shit i do think he's a little upset that his son didn't look more um black i don't think there's anything about drake that likes looking black unless he needs to sell records well that's the thing my my concern is having this like violently white baby like the way baby is so white, the eyes are blue, the hair is blonde, the skin is... You know, like, T.I. has one of those kids who's, like, really pale? Yeah. You know?

He's, like, that white. Right. Right? And I wonder if that reminds people, hey, Drake isn't... Full black. Full black. He's half white, half black. So, like, when you see him holding that kid and he says the N-word, are you like...

I honestly don't think so because he's Canadian. So I feel like the whole time he's been acting American black, people have very rarely been like, Oh, no way, you're Canadian. That's a very different... Interesting. That's a very different black than American black. You know what I would agree with you? How about this theory?

Maybe earlier in his career, he was acting american black and then later in his career he's been acting more canadian black which is like super uh caribbean influence english black influence that kind of stuff and now we get reminded he's neither and now what now we get reminded he's neither well now we get reminded that he's american black and that he fucked a white girl and had a kid with him oh it's true that's so every listen he switches it up on you at all points in time you know talking about fucking white girls alex is not sick with corona okay i know a lot of you guys have been asking where alex is alex not sick with corona alex has been uh back at the crib mining all of our stand-up videos over the last year, trying to get some more clips because we want to keep the clips going out. So I just wanted to give an update on that, and I spoke to Al,

and he wanted you guys to know because a lot of you guys were worried that he was sick with the Rona. But he'll be back next week, so you can go check for him next week, and we'll be having some stand-up clips coming at that ass. So that is that. Nose coming out again, yo. You got a COVID mask. The COVID mask is actually smaller.

This is why everybody has corona. Why don't they just make the masks you guys have are great. They're just massive, like fat girl underwear. Yeah, but I think if I cough, it can still go through. I mean, I think it might stop mine, but apparently if it's in the air particles, I don't know. This is what I read. Nobody knows nothing about this. No, no, this is what I read.

I read. Okay. And I'm not going to use the exact terminology because I don't know what it is. I'm going to make it dumb. Okay? So the germ, the corona germ, let's say it's a marble, right? This mask, the 95 mask, okay? The holes in the mask, and there are holes in all of our masks, if there weren't, then we couldn't breathe through it. But the holes in this mask, the 95 mask, the holes in the mask, and there are holes in all of our masks,

as if there weren't, then we couldn't breathe through it. But the holes in this mask can fit three germ marbles, are big enough for three germ marbles to pass through. But the corona is one marble size. So technically, it could pass through that. Problem is, a virus is never just one marble size. So technically, it could pass through that, right? Problem is, a virus is never just one marble. It's like a thousand marbles trying to pass through. So the idea is it gets stopped.

It's not enough to infect you. Not even it's not enough to infect you. There's so many that will just bounce in and won't be able to get through. That's the idea with it, right? I have a question. Yes. Do you think that you've been exposed to one corona germ so far? No.

Not one? I can tell. I knew Akash had it a week ago. Two weeks ago he said, I had it. I should be good now. Before you had it, I knew you had it. I avoid people. If I see that you have a corona look, I avoid them.

I can easily avoid them. One germ? I know. I know. He lives in Manhattan. There's no way you got no germs. No, no. There are germs.

We thought about quarantining the whole thing. Say again? We thought about quarantining all of Manhattan. Trump was ready to do that. Really? Yeah, I mean, he threatened to. Well, all of New York and New Jersey, to be honest. But you in Manhattan.

I don't think. I don't think. Listen, there's two ways I think about this. One, all of New York and New Jersey, to be honest. But you and Manhattan. I don't think, I don't think. Listen, there's two ways I think about this. One, we all got it. Here's my conspiracy theory. I kind of think we all got it. This is my conspiracy theory. We all got it. We can't test to know if we have it or not.

Yeah. The only people that can test are the people that have the worst scenario. Yeah. So the hysteria comes from that. The only people tested are the people that have the worst version of the virus or it most affects them because of pre-existing conditions or their age. So we think this virus is you get it and you fucking die. What happened?

My nose creeping out? You cannot talk for more than 10 seconds. Without the nose creeping out? Without the nose coming off. Should I just do that? Is that better? Should I just go like that? That might be better.

There we go. I can only take it so seriously. Oh, shit. I think I figured it out. That's how you do it. I just can't keep my chin or my nose in. It's one or the other. I mean, you're not the first Jewish doctor.

Say again? What do Jewish doctors do? Guys. They wear these. Oh, do they? Yeah. this is the hospital mask ah all right i don't know what this is this is the mask for hospital people and i think people who have rona like if you go outside can you show me what i look like on the screen real quick with it like this because i mean this is absolutely absurd no i don't look as crazy as you think oh no this is good you look like shredder i was about to say it yeah dude great fucking call okay so

back to what i was saying so basically i think that we are under the impression it's way worse because everybody that does have it has the worst case symptoms yeah and we're not testing the average people who have it and they're like yeah i just had a cough that's not saying that there aren't people out there that are dying clearly there are tons of people out there dying i just have this feeling that i have yet to see a healthy person i know i've yet to see a healthy person die from this everybody that died is either old or has a heart condition or lung condition etc no i mean apparently a lot of hospitalizations in texas i think i heard that there's more 18 to 40 year olds in the hospital than there are i bet texas has more unhealthy

18 to 40 year olds i mean they're fat that's unhealthy okay do you know what i'm saying like i i really fit like there was this guy there's this image going around and this guy he was just fucking jacked black dude abs everything like that and he was like now i'm in the hospital i was on icu i'm doing all these things. It's fucking me up. And I found out. And then the image is made to look like he's this person of perfect health. And then in the description, he goes, I found out I had an enlarged heart.

I'm like, yeah, okay. If you got some shit, and being old is some shit. Old is some shit. Old will kill you. If you have anything that could kill you, this is going to take you out. I just don't know if the average healthy person is going to be fucked up by it. I was about to tell you how stupid you look, and then I remembered I'm wearing a hazmat suit and gloves and a mask. And I was about to laugh at you.

Yo! What? Come on! Don't you dare question my cough. I'm saying that maybe you got it from me now. You gotta put the mask on, yo. I don't have it. You have it. I'm taking the mask off. I have to take a sip of coffee. That's a New Yorker's priority.

You don't think you could drink it through the mask? Say again? You don't think you could drink one sip through the mask, bro? Mark? Mark, you're getting on my last nerve, Mark. Mark, I'm about to have Akash spit saliva on you like an older brother. Just dangle that loogie right on top of you as we hold you down. Yo. Oh, fuck. Okay.

Here's the thing, guys. This corona shit has been exposing a lot of people who have already annoyed me. Okay, everybody on social media who already annoyed you is taking it to the 10th power during corona. That's one of the worst things about corona. Outside of killing people and global economic collapse, it takes everybody who's annoying on. And it makes them 10 times more annoying. Right. That's the third most annoying thing. Number one is global collapse.

Yep. Number two is killing a lot of people. Killing people. Actually, that's probably number three. Number two is Twitter. You're annoying on Twitter. Yep.

And then number three is killing people. Because Twitter affects my life personally more. Right. Do you know what I'm saying? Once somebody that we all know dies, then that will probably jump it up. Right. Then we'll, you know, the standings will switch.

Then we'll be prioritized. Exactly. Like, you ever been at, like, the train station where, like, when the trains are coming, all of a sudden they're... And then, next stop, Babylon. Yeah. Right? That will happen if someone we know dies. Right?

But right now, Twitter is incredibly annoying. Like, I don't follow Lena Dunham. Why would anyone? I don't know. I just, I don't follow Lena Dunham. Why would anyone? I don't know. I just, I don't follow her. Right. Right? But people follow her.

She's the Carol Baskins of the entertainment industry. Oh, my God. I want, this bitch is evil through and through. Oh, my God. It's all in the face of good. It's just. Oh, my God. Her and Taylor Swift.

I don't buy any of it. What are they doing during this time? I mean, sucking on people's souls. Probably every dead person that gets corona, they just inhale their soul, and that's how they died. Do you think they want corona badly so they can be part of the cause? Remember when Lena Dunham was like, every girl should have an abortion or something like that, right?

I wish I had an abortion. She said that. I wish I had an abortion. Yeah. that. I wish I had an abortion. Yeah. Of all the things you could wish for. I mean, it's unreal. I bet she's praying for Corona. Praying for it.

And why do you think she can't get Corona? Because she has tits like Big Jay Oakerson? Put on the fucking mask, yo think i got it bro it's just scaring me son if i end up getting this shit before you i will laugh my fucking ass off yo bro people been telling me maybe my immune system is so weak. Alingon was texting me, this might be like, this can only make me stronger at this point. Like, this is my radioactive spider. You know what I mean? Like, I've had everything. He's like, the corona is probably scared of you at this point.

Get in your immune system. He's competing with all these other diseases and asthma. And he's like, I don't want to do all this. Now, do you think that Alingon is just saying that so that you die and then there's one less Indian to compete for road dates with? Do you think that's – do you think he's like, yeah, go on out there. Corona can't affect you at all. But knowing full well you have asthma and this shit could take you out specifically. Do you think that's possible?

Do you think it's Indian on Indian competition? No, no, no, because I – I, I'm going to help Alingon out. And he knows that. Oh, you are? I mean, however I can. Yeah, that's my guy. But hey, there's a couple others that he probably pray and get this shit. Because he needs.

How are you going to help him? What are you going to do? Well, I want Brownish to be like a thing. Right, right. Almost like you're flagrant too. I want Brownish to become something. You know what I mean? How do you?

Okay, how do you? I think I'm going to be homeless in about a year and a half. If I keep taking all his dates. So I had to do something for the man. You know what I mean? Okay. Now, can you start by helping him have a personality? Guys, the world's burning.

We might as well go for it. That's a good point. These are all jokes. Alingon's a fucking hilarious comedian. Go check him out. I'm sure he's got sets on YouTube. Yeah, no, he's got sets on YouTube. He also doesn't have a personality.

This is all valid. I mean, he doesn't have a personality. This is all valid. But we have to qualify how funny he is by making that joke. Yeah. That's another thing I think a lot of people don't realize. We rarely make fun of unfunny people here yes because then it's mean yes if you're unfunny it's mean right we'll talk shit about people but comics we're only making fun of the funny ones

or our friends yeah so if we're making fun of someone on this you should probably go check them out yeah that being said if you can find any shred of a personality in a Lingon Mitra. He'd be thrilled and he wants to know where it is. He'd be like, yo, word? Where? Except he wouldn't say word with any kind of enthusiasm. He'd just be like, hmm, interesting. Yes. No, you do have a point.

Literally, if you make points, he just goes, hmm. So when he talks to Alexa. That's got to be the most, that's's gotta be two people just understanding Each other bro That is perfect synergy He jerks off to her You ever seen that movie Her? That's porn for him That's what he needs bro

We used to talk to him we went on the road for like Two weeks and we started talking to him Like he was Siri I'd be like Alingon what's the temperature outside Alingon setting alarm for 6 38 a.m i was so fun we need to bring him on but for no longer than five minutes but just so people know how you know yeah um how to see it now uh i will say oh the person that on twitter annoys me the most yeah is uh neil degrasse t. What's he doing now?

He tweeted something today. First of all, he's just a fucking bah humbug, right? Now, there are tons of bah humbugs on Twitter. Twitter is a lot of bah humbugness, right? Yeah. But he's just a fucking everything. It's like if everybody's excited about something, he's got to knock it down. He loves to pour water on it.

Yeah, it's like he is the intellectual version of the people who complain about Columbus Day. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. You know, like when everybody has Columbus Day, we got the day off. We just want to hang out. Or Thanksgiving. Or Thanksgiving. We're all just trying to have fun. Do you know what this took?

Da-da-da-da-da. He is the science version. Is he science woke? He's kind of science woke. You science woke piece of shit. So Neil deGrasse Tyson tweets, we can put a man on the moon, but we can't cure coronavirus. Well, what are you doing, Neil? Get to curing. Yeah. What a stupid ass thing to say from a scientist. Wait for it. No, wait, sorry. Right now we actually can't put anybody on the moon and haven't

been able to for 45 years who who gives a fuck okay what does that even mean for yeah what does that even mean we got a rover on mars is that not good enough for you neil yeah and why do you think we can't put anybody on the moon we probably don't care we went to the moon it sucks it fucking sucks you don't go back to places that suck yeah why we gotta go back for sometimes you go to a place i went to egypt i went to cairo pyramids were great cairo sucks you're not going back i'm not going back i might go to the pyramids again but I'm not going back to Cairo for any time. Okay? You went to the moon.

Way worse than Cairo. And no pyramids within any proximity. There's no reason to go back. What are we going to get there? I don't understand what the fuck he's talking about. I get that you have this fascination with the stars and shit. Hey, guess what, buddy? There's nothing out there.

Yo. There's nothing. I know you dedicated your whole life to nothing. Bro, ain't nothing but light. There's nothing out there. Nothing. It's literally nothing. I mean, it's good that we keep NASA around so they can invent shit like duct tape and stuff that we use in our lives and the internet.

That's great. But what they're searching for is nothing and i know that they're like oh been galaxies far away there's aliens yeah of course they're aliens we don't live long enough to get there they don't live long enough to get here we're never gonna see each other so even if there are aliens we're not talking it's nothing i do think there's aliens but i think we're not gonna yeah like you said we're not gonna find there are aliens, but I think we're not going to... Yeah, like you said, we're not going to find them. There are aliens. I think they could come here.

I don't think so. I think we're not going to find them. And if we do, okay, now what? We need some... What is the closest galaxy again, Mark? I don't know. No, you were talking about yesterday. You said 200,000 light years away?

Oh, yeah, 200 light years. 200 light years away is the closest solar system. We know there's no aliens in our solar system. The closest one is 200 light years away, right? So that means you would need to live 200 light years just to get there, and then you die the second you get there. You can't even report back your findings. Now, let me ask you this.

What is a light year? Say this. What is a light year? Say again? What is a light year? That's how long it takes for light to travel around the world. Take that, Galileo, you fucking maggot. Oh, my nose came out. take that Galileo you fucking maggot oh my nose came out

the German came out there the nose did a little heil yo a lot of people were calling our science conversation stupid but only one person

had an answer for me son we were right everybody else was just like these guys are so dumb and then they didn't say shit about anything son we were wrong

about putting air we were wrong about air we were right about son. Everybody else is just like, these guys are so dumb. And then they didn't say shit about anything. Son, we were wrong about putting air. We were wrong about air. We were right about sun. You can capture sun. That's what solar energy is. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's literally what solar energy is, is capturing the power of the sun. Now, we didn't capture in terms of like we were just harnessing the light in that one place.

But we learned how to take the light and keep it. Okay? a light in that one place but we learned how to take the light and keep it okay and then that light can then power a light right okay so we were right that's you don't think that the first person that thought about solar power that's exactly how their thinking was i don't know if it was exactly like that but yeah son yeah more or less 100 he's like yo when it's light it's dope why can't it be light all the time son I look like a sperm bro straight up I know that's why I've been thirsty laughing

laughing I was like why am I so thirsty looking at this guy pretty ass eyes yo how white is Neil deGrasse Tyson why who else gives a fuck about space that much or their middle name laughing that is the corniest shit in the world Why? Who else gives a fuck about space that much? Or their middle name. Oh, yeah.

That is the corniest shit in the world. Degrass. Bro, he might be Drake's dad. Son! Degrass? Degrassi? That's what I'm saying. And he's corny enough?

And he's white? He loves white shit? Probably got a white wife? What color is his wife? White? No, he's not married. But he'd be out there me too-ing. Me too-ing whom?

Whites? Who would snitch? White girls, bro. And I cannot fathom that black girls are dealing with some corny motherfucker like that. Do you think black girls will find a corny ass dude like that attractive? I can't imagine one black girl. Literally, he's Carlton manifested. Yeah, he's growing up Carlton, bro.

The dorkiest character in the best show for every black girl. Carlton at least had a little charm without trying to. Yeah, Neil can't dance. He's just condescending. That's all he is. He just comes on and he's condescending and he's done nothing. Like, I looked it up. He's done nothing.

He hasn't published shit. He's done nothing as a scientist. I think we're just so excited that we could not be racist and be like, hey, look, a black scientist. I love that guy that guy do you don't think that's what the scientific community did they're like hey this i'll give him this he's incredibly good at explaining complex shit in a simple way the biggest problem with a lot of these scientists is and you've probably experienced this with like family members yours they're like doctors and actually like doing something with their life you know um yeah yeah i know i

heard it i heard it you didn't have to look at me to make sure it hurt my feelings okay because it did okay it hurt a little bit it makes you feel better you look like a doctor right now you've been waiting for this your whole description of my mom do any of your uh uncles or aunts have the ability to fit my nose in this fucking face mask? Jesus, I can't even get excited because of it. It comes out. I need a mask I can get excited in. Okay, what were we saying?

Neil deGrasse Tyson. Oh, yeah. He's done nuts. The scientific community propped him up because he's black. Not because he's black. He explains difficult shit, and that's what I was saying about your family marriage. I'm sure you have a family member that's a doctor that is really good at explaining complex science shit, and then one that's not.

Yes. Right? And you probably go to the one that's really good. 100%. I give him credit in this. He is very good at simplifying tricky science shit. And I've watched some of these guys on Rogan. Some guys are really good at it it and some guys just aren't they just speak way above your head and they're using

terms that you don't fucking know about and you're like you can't use a more complex term to explain something than the thing you're explaining right right he's very good at that and he's black yeah which helps it works yeah he's jason william Which helps. It works. Yeah. He's Jason Williams. What Jason Williams was to basketball. Remember Jason Williams? Oh, fuck. White chocolate.

He's chocolate chocolate. Kneel to the grass. Size of chocolate chocolate. Now, Jason Williams was undeniably one of the best passers in the history of the game. An incredibly exciting player. Teammates loved to play with him. And he was incredibly engaging to watch. And he was also white.

There were guys that were black that were passing the ball behind their back. He's not the first person to do it. Earl of Pearl Monroe was doing that shit. Right? So it's like tons of people have been doing it, but he did it. He was the most different, meaning he was this white player

who did not play traditionally in a white game. Granted, Pistol Pete did all that kind of stuff and was white, but you understand what I'm trying to say. But since Pistol, you didn't have anybody like that. Nothing like that. There was white. Yeah. Right?

Bobby Hurley, John Stockton, a bunch of fundamental-ass guys running screen and rolls. And then here goes Jason Williams playing this exciting brand of basketball that we'd normally associate with black people. And he looks the exact opposite of those black people. Boom. So you're just like, holy fuck, this is the guy. Eminem.

Eminem. Now, Eminem, again, everybody is going to do a little something extra. They're going to be really good at what they do or tap into a feeling that black rappers couldn't tap into for white people. You know, Eminem tapped into the X. And you brought up the intelligence of Eminem.

Like, hi, kids. Do you like violence? That's the first line to his first single. That's marketing 101. Very smart guy. I mean, think about that first line. If you're a young kid, angsty kid that wants to rebel, you know, living in America in wonderful times of luxury, right?

You're bored. And then some white rapper guy comes down and goes, hi kids, do you like violence? You're like, I want to listen to everything else this guy has to say. And he's a white dude talking about violent shit, but he's doing it in a medium that was normally black people talking about violent shit.

His is different violent shit, but hey, look, this is different and he's good. Look at that. And let's be honest, cool and blackness go together. I think they really do. Cool and blackness, they have, there is synergy, right? Black culture often defines cool, right? Like when white people were wearing fucking pink shirts and salmon colored shorts and shit like that,

it wasn't cool. Kanye starts wearing it. Now it's cool. Right. Right. White people were wearing fucking raggedy shirts and all that kind of stuff. It wasn't cool.

Kanye started to put it out. The dorkiest thing in the world until 2018 was a fanny pack. Now all of a sudden it's cool. It's cool. So black people make shit cool. So if I'm the scientific community, I'm like, yo, give me a black guy to explain this science shit. If we need to trick kids into being scientists because we're gonna lose the intellectual

race like if we're talking about nation craft you know what i'm saying if we're gonna trick kids into being scientists you know those stupid commercials they put out where they're like it goes it's so important to be a scientist it's so important to be a mathematician that shit don't work you know what works if you make it cool yeah right so how do i make it cool now this is typical white executive way of doing shit which is we'll just make a black person do it that'll be cool yeah you know what they forgot neil degrasse tyson's a fucking dork nobody's doing anything because neil degrasse tyson said so i have yet to meet a person that says that's my hero. Is that a picture of Neil deGrasse Tyson?

So this is young Neil deGrasse Tyson. Oh, young Neil deGrasse. Oh, shit. He fell off. Yo, young Neil deGrasse was a bad motherfucker. He fell off. Damn. I mean, he was swole.

He was sweaty. He was on that yak. Yo, probably throwed his fuck. Now go to the picture of him and his wife. Yo, he look cool as shit. Then he to the picture of him and his wife. Oh, he look cool as shit. Then he got with this bitch, now look at him. In the infinite universe,

that was the one. Look at his fucking vest and tie combo. All of it, it just... He looks like a boat act. Bro, this is... What a fall-off, dude. This is one of the most Historic fall offs in history This is unbelievable

If you guys saw the picture Of what Neil looked like When he was younger College Neil With the mutton chops Bruh Swollen Got a body

Body Tight jeans Now I understand Why he's me too In these girls Yo He probably never had That ass or pussy

Until just now Shit Never How'd you probably get Less pussy And now you're famous That's how hard he fell off That's how hard he fell off

That's how nerded out he got man Now he's sitting there wearing fucking Van Gogh painting vests Unbelievable Yo they stole the Van Gogh You heard about that right Yeah they stole it Who did from where I don't know who did it

I think they're trying to figure that out From where? I don't know. I don't know who did it. I think they're trying to figure that out. From where? From Amsterdam. They got that whole Van Gogh museum. No, from another museum in the Netherlands. Dude, that's his wife. Bro, that's... Let me see.

I mean, come on, bro. That's embarrassing, yo. Come on, son. Why are they always wearing some Constellation theme shit? Because he's the Carole Baskins of fucking science. Yo, yo, real talk. He is the Carole Baskins of fucking science. Yo, yo, real talk. He is the Carole Baskins of science. Real talk.

That's who he is. Yeah. You ain't rescuing nothing. Yeah. I feel like I'm getting sick wearing this mask. I mean, you have a fucking effective mask. What? But I'm not getting sick from you.

The mask, I think, is getting me sick. First of all, shout out to all the people that work in the hospital. Bruh. Wearing a mask sucks. I mean, outside of saving people's life and that kind of shit, just doing this all day, having this stupid thing on all day, is annoying, man. There's got to be a better way.

I mean, I never thought your nose was big until today. I used to make the jokes, but I didn't really feel it. But now when I see that mask sliding off your face and I see your fucking just hook peeking through. It's not hooked. It's pretty straight. But it's got it's like a dorsal fin from a whale. It looks like a killer whale. Real talk.

I have an advantage when I backstroke. I used to do this. You look like a whale that's not a sea world just straight oh no i'm out there yeah i'm straight fin i'm with my pod son i'm with my pod but when i backstroke can you just let him talk and just keep fucking just noticing this zoom in on the mask go look at this when i backstroke most people have to keep their head above water so they can breathe during the backstroke i would submerge my head and then i would just i would just have my nose pop out of the water like a shark's fin and i would just breathe through it like a snorkel bro you make kids run away for the beach dude dude when you swim yo son if i'm out there and i hit you a little

donut it could be a problem bro it could be a problem hey i gotta i gotta salute um i gotta salute uh netflix okay oh shit what'd they do son it's not what they did it's what we did netflix is dropping that jordan doc early baby oh yes they dropping that jordan doc yeah espn and netflix well i think uh espn is who produced it, and it's on Netflix. Here's what I noticed that's interesting. Go. ESPN, I saw Adam Schefter and Adrian Wajarulu. Yeah.

Post about it. Yeah. I never knew ESPN to be like, hey, guys, we have content dropping. Everybody tweet about it. But I think all their employees, they had tweet about it. And I'm trying to figure out why. And that's why I assumed it's going to also be aired on ESPN. No, I think you know why.

Because there's absolutely nothing else to tweet about regarding sports. But to make your employees tweet makes me think they're hurting in some way. I don't think they're making them. I think there's literally nothing for them to tweet about. They tweet about sports shit they tweet about trades they tweet they tweet about like

injury reports Schefter got shit to tweet about NFL don't give a fuck they're still having the draft sent out a memo to their owners like yo none of y'all better tell us

not to have the draft anybody comes out did you hear this what the NFL sent out a memo to all the owners basically saying nobody is allowed

to speak out against us having the draft on April 29th you're not you're gonna make us look worse that is forbidden they don't give a fuck so if you're adam schefter you got plenty of stuff to talk about yeah free agency still going on the draft still going on what what what is happening the draft is in three weeks but have we heard any news about it i mean there was free agency news all there's still going to be free agent signed but you had all kinds of shit happening last week. What?

Big name free agents went everywhere. Tom Brady, I'm pretty sure, was last week. Yeah, but that was last week. What I'm saying is,

you can't deny that there are less things going on. 100%. And when there are less things going on, anything that revolves around sports, you're going to kind of

be the first person to put it on. My theory is because there's so little sport. Have you been on ESPN now? No. It's like, dude, the front page is like, they're putting out Instagram videos from people in backyards

doing impersonations of other players. Son. And these are front page ESPN articles. And there's like multiple videos. Normally it's like one is like, hey, here's the thing to distract you. That's their sports now. So I think they're just like,

hey, we need to remind motherfuckers that we put out sports content, that we're the sports kings. So we're putting this out early and every one of y'all tweet about it. I don't think it's on ESPN though. But I think it's an ESPN production. So it's like we're still associated with it.

Yeah. And I assume they will also broadcast it on ESPN. I can't imagine it's just on Netflix. Maybe it will be, but I assume they'll also- I can't imagine that's just on Netflix. Maybe it will be, but I assume they'll also I can't imagine that Netflix would pay an exorbitant amount of money

to have it on their channel and allow it to be on other channels. Well, I mean, we'll see. You might be right. I'm just thinking if I'm That's usually how things go, right? Yeah.

Like Sopranos isn't also on Showtime while it's on HBO. Right. And there's shows like ABC will say, ABC Studios will sell a show to Fox and it'll be on Fox.

Right, because ABC Studios is different than ABC. Matter of fact, everybody loves Raymond. I remember it was always HBO Studios when I was a kid. I was like, what the fuck? That's so confusing. Yeah, because that's a weird thing a lot of people don't get. But the studio is what makes it. Yeah.

And the channel is what buys it and puts it on. So ABC divides itself into different divisions. They'll create shows for themselves but also other people yeah so abc studio can create a show for cbs or mbc right or in in everybody loves raymond situation i guess hbo created the show and then sold it to cbs yeah yeah um so in this in this case uh espn yeah you know they fucking did it and they killed it anyway point is that's how you know we're fucked when they're sending jordan after coronavirus like when they're like the only person that could possibly keep you inside like if you nobody will shelter in place they can't

keep people in the house and they're like just roll out the jordan doc and then finally maybe we can keep people inside a few hours a day. And I plan on watching it over and over again. Each episode, there's nothing to do. I'm watching it twice. Oh, really? Why not? I'm going to watch the Flu Game episode a couple times. That one.

Jordan can beat it. Why can't we? Get inspired. I gave you a laugh because we made that joke uh on this podcast how'd you really yeah of course i was like it's inspiring do you know what i mean yeah oh so you're you're thinking in the right way damn bro it's so crazy looking at you in this mask just talking to people in masks this is what chinese people deal with every single day isn't this fucking crazy?

They were ready. You think they were just ready for this because, I mean, they might be lying about their death toll, but maybe they were just lying. Of course they're lying. But also, you think they're just ready for this because it's like, we've been dealing with this shit. Son.

We had the SARS. We had the MERS. We didn't give a fuck about SARS or MERS. Yeah. No, 100% they're ready for it. They're ready for it because they know it's going to come from them. Yeah.

That's what they do. All the diseases come from them. Yeah. That's what they do. All the diseases come from them. Except Ebola. Say again? They probably did that too. They're in Africa. Oh, word. They're buying up all Africa.

Or they're probably buying African bats. Yeah. That's why it's fucking insulting when China's trying to help the whole world and shit. Like, oh, we'll send masks. We'll send this. Why don't you just not send viruses? That's a good idea. Why don't we stop there? Don't do anything else but stop sending viruses let's let's do that when you

send us masks you have a fucking japanese person do it how about that that's it yeah just get a japanese get a clean chinese person aka a japanese person to send it over it's very simple mark it mark what'd you say when uh about that mark said uh it's like Chinese people trying to help out the coronavirus pandemic. It's like when white people talk. What is it? It's like white people trying to explain how to not get shot by the cops, the black people. Guys,

it's really not that hard. All you gotta do is respect the virus. Yeah, just respect. Do what it says. If it says stop, then just stop. If the virus. Yeah, just respect. Do what it says. Do you know? If it says stop, then just stop. If it says stay inside, stay inside. Listen, was your taillight out?

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What else we got going on man um yo you heard the the story of uh lebron safe saving mellow's life back in the day no what is this he's on ig live with duane wade and they're talking they're just i think someone asked about lebron and they're telling stories about lebron and then they talk about his game on the court they say off the court the most impressive thing he ever did is i love that neither of them are interesting enough that they just got to talk about more interesting players if you're best friends with one of the greatest players of all time especially if you're mellow what else what else can you talk about i don't care the only things i want to know about uh

carmelo anthony and duane wade are duane wade's tranny kid and how he feels about it and then carmelo absolutely nothing so i'm sure that question got asked, and he just didn't. You know Carmelo keep it real. What are you going to say? I just think he'd be like, yo, so what you think about your fairy-ass kid? Because Carmelo, I don't think, has enough common sense to not ask that question. First of all, I'll say anything with a mask. I feel very anonymous.

I know this is our podcast, like we're gonna be known yo you said maggot and the only reason you got scared is because your mask started sliding and then you remember he adjusted the mask he's like oh shit my mask they might know who this is i can say it's not me you could i can say it's not me it's plausible deniiability. 100%. I don't know who this is. Yo. Shit. Shit. Shit. Say it. I'm not.

Because when my nose pop out, they're going to know exactly who it is. Akash, you could be anybody right now. I really could. Except for them pretty ass eyes, bro. Mark, look at Akash's eyes, dog. These shits are fucking gorgeous, bro. I get Muslim women now. I really do bro you might be hotter just the eyes up it's so true they fucking figured it out they're not trying to cover up the pretty parts they're trying to cover up the ugly parts every bitch

is good looking from here to here yeah oh my god muslim Muslims are genius. Mm-hmm. Oh, my God. You get your eyebrows perfect. You get the eye makeup. Every girl can have good eyebrows. Yes. You spend all your time on six by two inches. That's it. You ever see a hijabi girl that has the hijab with her whole face showing?

Yes. That one's got a beautiful face because they only got to worry about one part. Yeah, just doing all the makeup there. Makeup is perfect. They don't have to blend that shit in. You remember when white girls weren't blending their neck into their face? You see a real ugly Muslim bitch, bro? She just has one eye open.

That's all she's got, dude. You see her, she just has one eye poking out. Looked like Mike Wazowski. Bro, it's so true. You never see them missing eyes. I've never seen a one-eyed muz. Hey, man, maybe that's Allah, you know? What do you mean?

Hey, look, this is all you show in the world. They're going to be pretty. I'm going gonna make sure these are intact interesting yeah this is fascinating so you can see all the injustice happening to you yeah it's like looking at a mailbox all day dude all right what else is happening man there's a condom shortage apparently who is shacked up with somebody during the quarantine and using condoms i don't understand it. Yeah, that's weird.

I feel like this is like the toilet paper hoarding where you're just freaking out and you're like, let me buy this. Let me buy this. Ah. Let me buy the condoms. So it's not being used. Yeah. They're not being used, but they're being purchased. Yeah.

And just kind of held. And I'm telling you that shit, they probably tried it like three times and then they're like, yeah, the world is ending. Let's just fuck. Interesting. There's going to have 400 condoms sitting in their fucking laundry room or whatever now if i was a condom company or some other company i would release this on purpose to make people buy more condoms yeah because once it happened with the toilet paper everybody went crazy and started buying toilet paper so i would go yo i would actually buy out the condoms right i literally send people to buy out all the condoms and a few cbss then let other people take

pictures and post it and then have this this fake viral campaign where everybody's freaking out oh my god i won't be able to get condoms anymore when you're not even fucking anyway and then just do it but who is fucking their quarantine bay with a condom i don't i don't understand that if you trust somebody mark are you i mean i think it was a production issue what do you mean like the factories were in indonesia and that shit all got shut down for like three weeks why are they making condoms in in that place i need my condoms made somewhere like me american American made. Yeah, I need American made.

I'm just saying, when Indonesians are making those condoms, they're like, what kind of dicks are they putting in here? Do they think they're like Christmas sleeves? They think they're making backpacks? What are the things that you put presents in during Christmas?

Your stockings? Yeah, Christmas stockings. Yeah. Like real talk, what do they think they're making, bro? Yo, especially because them shits can get so fucking- If you roll it all out. Yo. Like real talk What do they think They're making bro Yo Especially cause them shits Can get so fucking

If you roll it all out Yo Oh man Maybe that's why Americans love a fisting Yo maybe that's why Asian girls love black dudes So much

They just assume You know What cause they're like I need to see what the dick Are going here Yeah They gotta assume It's for the black dudes God We they just assume you know what because they're like i need to see what the dick go in here yeah they gotta assume it's for the black dude god that we had a guy on corona's got talent and he said that a huge dick no he moved he was an asian guy he moved from vietnam to canada yeah and he said he's an aspiring comic but he said uh that the dick sizes grew exponentially wait is, is he gay?

No. He just saw a lot of dicks in Canada. Oh, okay. Listen, we didn't get to that part. We asked a little bit. But, oh my God, this is so hard. Exponentially? So it's true.

I mean, exponentially is what struck me. Like, they're bigger is one thing. But by an exponent? Good point. Yo, when a dick is one thing, but by an exponent? Yo, when a dick is your dick cubed? Son! That's crazy. That's a lot.

That's a lot, yo. That's a lot more dick. That's a lot more dick. Fuck. I actually do think that the conversion rate for money is the same as dick. Okay, go on. You got a bot dick? Yeah.

Like, American dicks got the strongest dick. And then I think the- English? Yeah. What is the pound? That's a little less. The pound will pound. Yeah, but it's not a ton less, but it's like-

No, pound's more. Pound is more. Oh, fuck. Yeah, it's okay. Well, they have more because they're not circumcised. Got them. Oh, there. Oh, saved you, bro.

Okay, go on. There you go. Oh, no. This theory's starting to fall apart. Yeah, because once we go to Africa, you're fucked. Yeah. So how do we find Africa? But they got gold.

And they got diamonds. They got the actual currency. Yeah. So they got the hardest, strongest dicks. Yeah. Diamond. Diamond is where you really see it. Fuck.

So it might be accurate. Damn it. I mean, this is crazy how much you're coughing. I think it's this. I don't think I'm getting enough good breath in, and I think I'm really dried out. Put on the fucking Rona mask, yo. Say again?

Can you put on the Rona mask for God's sake? Well, if I'm already coughing, I already got it. I mean, that's the dedication that we have to this. Who else got it? What other things do we want to talk about? Oh, do you want to talk about Carole Baskins, or do you want to talk about the video that has come out where the Tiger King himself, Joe Exotic, is saying, why can't white people say the N-word?

Everybody is all shocked that that is his opinion. I didn't know that video existed, but I also knew that video existed. So did you really need to see that to know? Did you see a single black person in the entire documentary? Yeah. Who? No, no, no. I'm agreeing.

One of the Panthers. That was the only black person they had in that entire documentary? Yeah. Who? No, no, no, I'm agreeing with you. One of the Panthers. That was the only black person they had in that entire documentary. Okay? There's no way that he didn't have this opinion. Now, I will say this, which is really interesting. Everybody's upset about it, but he says,

why can't white people say the N-word? He goes, black people in their rap videos are saying it all the time. Why can't white people say the N-word? He doesn't say the N-word. Yeah, exactly. That's what I'm saying. He's actually... I don't necessarily think he's racist, but I think... He's just dumb. why can't white people say the n-word right he doesn't say the n-word yeah that's exactly what i'm saying like he's actually i don't necessarily think he's racist but i think he's exactly the kind of white guy who'd be like yeah but why can't i say it and then if you may say it but why can't

i exactly and then maybe if you explain to him he's actually the type that might understand it yeah because he's a gay he's a gay he gets it yes of course oppression. Yes. Of course. Wait, he gets what? He understands oppression. He understands oppression. 100%. You know how your dad told you don't come to my funeral, looked at you like you weren't even a human being? That's what white people did to black people for hundreds of years. He'd be like, oh, okay.

White people are like my dad. I got it. Can you explain that funeral thing? I don't understand that. I don't ever want to see you again. But don't come to my funeral. Don't come to my funeral. Don't come to my funerals like the most final I don't want to see you ever again ever.

Yeah, but guess who's not going to know if you come or not. You. I don't even want people to know I was associated with you. But they do know because I'm your son. Yeah, but if you don't show up at the funeral then they know I didn't want you there. But if I show up there's nothing you can do about it. There is nothing.

That's why I got to make you shake my hand and promise me you're not going to come to my funeral. Yeah, well, he probably shook his hand earlier and promised not to be gay. That didn't work out. You know what's funny is he still robbed his parents blind, even not talking to his father. Ain't that something?

Yeah, guess who doesn't have enough money for a funeral? Hey, I'll show you how to have no one come to your funeral yeah he was carol baskins his parents didn't he this bitch is really insane yo carol carol so uh i'm loving watching the backlash on carol oh yeah it's so glorious so theo theo vaughn had doc antle on his podcast great and they're they're having a fucking grand old time from the clips I saw. They're having a grand old time. You know, he's got the chimpanzees out, all that kind of shit. Doc Antle is actually kind of coming out of this okay,

and it was the goal of the documentarian to make him look the worst. Yeah. It failed. Yeah. If you thought Doc Antle was an egomaniac before, it's got to be on another level now. 100%. Right?

100%. Like you specifically went out of your way, the guy who's the documentarian, right? Specifically went out of your way. And you know that guy used to date like Naomi Campbell and he owned some clubs and shit like that? Doc Antle? No, the guy who made the documentary.

He's some rich dude. He's some rich scene story guy from New York. He went out of his way to make Doc look stupid. Literally included extra footage to make him look stupid and cut out

footage that made Joe look racist. Think about it. He's in the edit, right? He has the opportunity to include something that shows how Joe exotic feels about the N word. Right.

Decides not to do it. Right. He knows the entire time that Joe is, he's kind of a piece of shit, this documentarian, luring in straight guys with meth. Yeah. And then kind of like keeping them on his land. Yeah.

Doesn't do anything about it. Right. Doesn't call anybody. Doesn't try to alert the authorities. He knows that there's an illegal cub trade going on. Right. Yo, being a documentarian is kind of shitty. I don't, I've said this before, I don't, and I bought into this when we watched it.

Is he the worst person in that doc? Any documentarian I don't trust. I don't trust any documentary. And I bought into this, and this is why, because you can make me think whatever you want me to think. Yeah. With hundreds of hours of footage that you edit into two hours of whatever you want it to be in. In this case, seven hours of whatever you want it to be. And in this case, seven hours of whatever you want it to be. Yes.

You got to get your point across from seven years of footage that you cut into seven hours. Of course I'm going to believe whatever you want me to believe. I still don't like Doc Antle. I mean, he is White R. Kelly. Much like White R. Kelly, pretty talented. But he waited. He was patient. Like, he didn't take any girl that wasn't 18 are we sure i thought it was 16 no i thought they came there right after college like

18 or 19 or 17 i don't know but like legal yeah patient r kelly he's patient and nobody would say shit to r kelly if they were 19 yeah i mean him and and Joe are the same, but Joe's like using your drug habit. He's using a broken thing and then feeding it to you. Yes. And R. Kelly's using your addiction to fame. Yeah.

And your need to be a singer. And Doc is using your probably like need to feel like you were helping or whatever. I'm sure. But like. Your need to have an identity

and have purpose. Yeah, we all. Also, Doc has some clout too. Like he's got an Instagram with millions of followers. His kid has an Instagram with millions of followers his kid has an instagram with millions of followers like yeah there's a fame play with him also oh 100 yeah i mean he's he loves the fame like that's why that's why he was i mean like and this is what the

documentarian hated but that's why he was suggesting different ways to shoot the scenes because he's like let's shoot this in the way that looks the coolest yeah i mean it blew my mind that he edited it that way i couldn't believe it i literally and i not a lot of things make me like gasp but i was like when i saw that when i went i literally went like that i know it sounds stupid but here's why i went like that i know how painstaking editing is. Right. I know how difficult it is to cut an episode down to time. Right? Each of these episodes is around 40 minutes. Right. He edited it for TV.

He thought they were going to sell this to the Nature Channel or something. They're 42 minutes around the episodes. Right. So that leaves around 18 minutes of commercials. That's exactly how. Wow. I didn't realize that. Yeah, you're right.

100%, right? So he, that me, and think about it, you probably have hundreds and hundreds of hours of footage. Yeah. You cut out other shit, like Joe probably screaming the M word all over his safari, to keep in these extra scenes of Doc Antle looking douchey. What if when he burned down the alligator shed,

he was actually just trying to burn a cross and then things went awry? He was practicing? He got away from him, yeah. He was dressed like you? I lost my gators! I mean, if an animal had to go... Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

It shows how no one cares about lizards. No one gave a fuck about... If the chimpanzees all got burned down we'd be like dude put that motherfucker under the jail what a piece of shit yeah but then when they're like the alligator pen did it was like can we make some belts still what are we doing here guys they weren't even included in it yo that's such a great point because i was like ah gators yeah he had him yeah son a lion is a much more like powerful fucking scary thing i'm sure in real life but there's something majestic about it

it's beautiful gators gross it's i understand it's it's like evil to me reptiles are evil to me yeah wait go on that that's interesting yo snakes are just slithering around they don't trust him literally embody evil in the bible with adam and eve like this is the thing that ruined everything and they chose a snake on purpose because it's just a fucking gross slithering hissing like it's a bunch of shit i don't know if we're trained that way from a young age or if it's human nature to just hate like everything about you is creepy dude Alligators just kind of like crawling around, ugly, scaly. Reptiles are scaly. Their skin is fucking, there's nothing like soft about it.

It's hard. So is there like a human quality in cats or certain animals? Like do we need to see humanity in certain animals in order to like fall in love with them? Because there's no way an alligator is any more dangerous than a lion to a human being you know what when he's when he's cuddling with those baby tigers and cheetahs they look so cute and like it's so lovable can you imagine cuddling with a baby fucking komodo dragon fucking who cares bro they're not cuddly yeah so what do humans need in animals maybe that's and some majesty i think i think with a man like a a lion or a tiger there's something majestic about it it's just like what about all animals

in general because clearly humans have picked certain animals that we're going to domesticate yeah right oh did we talk about that on the pod yesterday or no no because that was a really interesting argument about off mic off mic we should bring that into this right afterwards but um mark was reading a book and had they had a really interesting take on this kind of shit. But okay, so what are the animals that we're gravitating towards? Are they the most easily domesticatable animals or are they aesthetically pleasing? There's an aesthetic appeal. Okay.

I think a cuddliness and probably that's from aesthetics. But like, oh, I can cuddle with this. It will cuddle back with me. There's a love. There's like a bond that i feel like i could have with this thing and then i think also in some cases if it's like a majestic creature like a horse there's something majestic about a horse that's fucking just running like you're like oh shit you see a lion kind of or a tiger kind of prowling there's something like powerful majestic mesmerizing about it an alligator dude it's just crawling low to the ground long gross looking got this creepy ass smile on its face isn't that a creepy fucking gator smile and also i think location of where you find them like you find a lion in this fucking giant safari in the savannah. Oh, great point. You see a deer, an elk in the fucking prairies.

You see an alligator in a bog, in a swamp, in a smelly, gross, algae-filled pond. So we shouldn't even be in the place that the alligator presides. Yeah. We are in the place where the lion presides and the tiger presides. That's also our neighborhood, if you will. So we like to hang out with animals that are in the place where the lion presides and the tiger presides that's also our neighborhood

if you will so we like to hang out with animals that are in our neighborhood and even like an ocean is a beautiful body of water to mark's point ocean looks like the crystal blue water but we ain't trying to hang out no fucking salmon yeah but it's grosser we're not grossed out can you get them in the water in the ocean that's probably where they're going in the river you know what i mean i don't even know if they know because they'd be swimming against it oh true right salmon are annoying motherfuckers bro it's like if you're in a river it does all the swimming for you and they actually try to swim against it for no reason yeah there's no reason no reason? They're in a lazy river. Son!

And they're being so extra. They're being so extra, bro. Those are always the asshole kids going their own way in the lazy river. You fucking devil's advocate fish. You Neil deGrasse Tyson ass fish. Neil deGrasse Tyson ass fish, bro. Just go into the ocean. The rest of us just chilling, yo.

Be a tuna. Okay, go. But like an ocean is a beautiful body of water if you see something i ask one more question salmon yeah is pronounced salmon yeah right now you've heard some people call it salmon that's it my boy luther called it in college of course yeah he said of course because he's black okay now what is that disease when you don't cook chicken enough? Salmonella. Wow. Stay woke, bro.

Yo. Stay woke, bro. Hey, third eye, dog. Third eye. That should be salmonella? It should be salmonella. I think we should call it salmonella. Salmonella.

I'm in. I'm all in on salmonella. I'm glad I interrupted you to say that. Okay, good. I'm really glad I stopped your train of thought to bring that to this podcast and to the listeners. Yeah, oh yeah, but there's, so I think it's extra gross because like,

look, like a whale, that's a big thing, but it's still, it's in a beautiful body of water out there. Dolphins, there's something kind of cool and majestic about that. And there's other reasons, but I also think to his point, a swamp where you picture gators being, it's fucking gross. Okay.

It's ugly, water mad, dirty looking. So now we have to try to break our own theory, all right? What is an animal that exists within our environment that we don't want to cohabitate with? A rat. Oh, yeah. Right? to cohabitate with? A rat. Oh, yeah. Right? Now, I think it was the Russian guy that owned the Nets where he said...

Prokhorov. Prokhorov. He said, the difference between a rat and a squirrel is marketing. Now, a rat and a squirrel are the same thing, only that bushy tail and the way that they're marketed makes them very different. Yeah. But the way they interact, the interact the exact same yo have you ever heard

this this is like a real thing go there's a podcast 99 invisible you ever heard of it no they actually had a living up to its name exactly they had a marketing push to put squirrels in central park squirrels are not indigenous or native to central park they actually went out got squirrels put them in the park and then they actually gave them a status as non-human friends so they literally changed the status of squirrels from like animal to like non-human friend and literally changed the perception of squirrels because of marketing and so now we perceive squirrels and like chipmunks and other like woodland creatures is different than we would see like rats and what was the reason for it were they helping the park in any way did they like kill critters it was like a tourist thing

like there's a story they mentioned in the podcast where there's literally a squirrel in a tree like the first squirrel and there's like a crowd of like 50 people just looking at it because back of the day you never see animals like that yeah that's actually good um that's actually a good time to bring in the conversation we were having yesterday so um mark asked an interesting question he goes all right you know how like white people gave native americans diseases yeah and then they died he goes did native Native Americans give white people diseases? Did they? Well, you would think if we both have diseases, we would give them to each other, right?

I think your immune systems are stronger. Isn't that what the book Guns, Germs, and Steel is about? Jared Diamond. Kind of. Well, here's the interesting thing. Who's Jared Diamond? He's the guy that wrote that book. You would do that.

That's what you're saying. Let us know that you know the fucking author of that book. Anyway, bro, you said that book. You would do that. That's what you're saying. Let us know that you know the fucking author of that book. Anyway, bro, you said the book. So, point is. This guy. This fucking guy. So, the point is, right? So, you have, you would think that they would give this. Now, you could say our immune systems were stronger, right?

But our immune systems are only stronger in the environment in which they exist in. So, they're stronger in Europe, but they wouldn't still be strong to these diseases they've never experienced. No, but they could be weaker diseases. So your immune system is strong enough to fight the lesser disease. I don't think that the immune system works like a muscle. I think that it's more like there are certain antibodies that can handle these different viruses. But if you don't have the antibody for this completely new novel virus, it will still affect you. You know what I'm saying?

Maybe. Let's assume that. Yeah, yeah, okay. Okay, let's go along with that assumption. Let's assume that. So then Mark says something. Or the guy in the book says it, whatever. Yes, this is CGP Grey.

He's a YouTuber. But basically he was like, you have... Bro, it's a YouTuber. Go! So basically he's like, you have bro it's a youtube go so basically he's like you have domesticatable animals that live in the east not really in the west like in the americas there's no i'm gonna say one thing there were no viruses in america that's why that's why the natives didn't get it

yeah literally there were no viruses why were there no viruses here so in the like in europe and shit they're domesticating all these animals. They're getting these animals and they're just making them like they're friends. They got sheep and fucking, they're making horses domesticated, all that shit. And then they make cities where they start selling, trading, buying animal products. And then now they're living right next to animals. And then they start all these plagues in Europe. So like London has like fucking

cholera which is where you have pigs shitting in the water and people are drinking pig shit and then if you survive the plagues now you have immunity but you're still a carrier of that virus so right so you still have cholera you just got some shit in your body that could beat it right so bubonic plague rats from China came here on the Silk Road, or here to Europe on the Silk Road, takes out Europe. But there are some people that have built up the immunity for it. So they come over to the United States. Now, Native Americans allegedly never domesticated animals prior to white people coming.

Once white people came, they got some horses, and they learned how to shoot bow and arrows on horses. The rest is history. But there weren't that many animals here to domesticate. That's what's really interesting to me. There were no fucking animals here? How you have T-Rex?

How you have Brontosaurus but you don't have a regular animal? Isn't that crazy? So now, or maybe they just weren't domesticatable. They had buffalo, obviously. Yeah, but it's hard to domesticate a buffalo. I mean, didn't we do it? We'd be riding on them shits. I don't know if we did it's hard to domesticate a buffalo i mean didn't

we do it we ride in on them shits i don't know if it isn't a bull a buffalo or is that different it's different same genus i think i got no clue a bull is just a greek buffalo it's just harrier anyway so i guess they didn't domesticate any animals and because they didn't domesticate them they didn't get those same diseases that that the europeans got and then because they didn't have the diseases they didn't develop any immunity for them they weren't carrying them so we came over with all these diseases that we have immunity for that they had none of they never had any diseases to hand over to us oh fuck so we're hanging out with each other you don't even need the blankets a high five done yeah yeah and they're not concerned

about getting diseases because they don't fucking have any yo that's so wild white people are concerned right white people have existed or europeans have existed for hundreds of years with all these different fucking diseases right so they're they're on their p's and q's they're like i'm not accepting no fucking blankets i'm not hugging these motherfuckers like they could have the chinese of the ancient times that's it and they had no mass either if you think your mask is shitty native americans just have feathers and dream catchers and shit they were not catching any jerks how many molecules goes through a dream catcher all of them every molecule big hole in the middle. Catches dreams, not virus.

It's not a virus catcher. Jump around, no clothes, barefoot, fucking loincloth. Son. Moccasins at best. At best.

Low key, it's like they were taunting God, bro. Yeah. It's like God was like, oh, word, that's how you want to dress? Oh, you gonna get

these sniffles. Believe that. Maybe that's why God took them, because they were arrogant. They were a little bit arrogant. Hey! Hey! But that's why you got all these Peruvian motherfuckers taming llamas.

That's as close as people in America got to domesticating animals. And by America, you're talking about the South America. Yeah, like the American continent. Okay, gotcha. Yeah, like the American continent. That's all they got. Yeah.

Yeah. Llamas. But how fascinating is that? None of these domesticatable animals exist. All of a sudden, we populate an entire fucking two continents with animals. We're not talking about just North America with cows, horses, and shit.

You get onto all of the fucking Argentina, you're going to find them there. How long does it take to populate two continents with animals? I mean, what a fucking... Someone write that book. I mean, that is insane. How did alligators get here? No, alligators, I think, existed. Bitches are dinosaurs.

They're dinosaurs. Alligators have been here since the beginning existed bitches are dinosaurs they're dinosaurs alligators have been here since the beginning of time but they're domesticated so that's why they didn't no no they're not no but they weren't domesticated I mean so that's why

they weren't that's why we didn't Native Americans didn't get those diseases because they didn't domesticate any animals that were here I think I guess

and then the issue with the Wuhan virus or the Chinese virus and all these other viruses they're coming from where the wet markets right so not only are they domesticating these fucking animals they're selling them they're selling jellyfish and shit yeah in the middle of the street yeah so it's not even like they're in

a barn they're literally right there for the whole city to come down and touch and look at and pet you gotta shut down the wet market right bro that's what they say they're gonna do but you know they ain't gonna do that as much as you can control shit in China, it's still fucking two billion people. It's like controlling shit in India. They don't even try. It's like you can tell them to go inside. You can hit them with a stick, but motherfuckers are going to go outside if they need. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I mean. You don't think? I mean, from what I understand, it's like you have very limited options. There's not much you can do. But I think China just don't give a fuck. I think the government of China is like, whatever it kills the rest of them who gives a fuck what kills you guys who gives a fuck if the government of china wanted to shut some shit down i think they could do it to a large degree i mean this is an oppressive regime like i think

they could but i think you're gonna get out to like the farms and shit when you go outside of the big cities i think they could handle the big cities i think when you go outside of the big cities, I think they can handle the big cities. I think when you go outside to like, not even the suburbs of the big cities, I'm talking about the fucking farmland. If you moved a wet market to a farmland though, it would be a lot less destructive, I think. A farmland is a wet market. Yeah. That's what I'm saying. Like they don't have wet markets. Yeah. I don't think they're worried about that little town that's out there, but that's the shit you can't control. But luckily, that little town isn't going to really hurt what's happening in the city. When you have 20 million people in a densely populated urban environment,

that's when shit spreads. That's why New York got more than any other place in the world right now. Motherfuckers living on top of each other. Exactly. So, but whatever. Chinese is probably lying. We don't know what's going on. Oh, we didn't get to this. Carol Baskins killed her husband.

Mark has some interesting theories he was asking beforehand. Do you think... We all think she killed her husband, right? How do you think she did it? Do you think it was a meat grinder? Check this real quick. Feeding the tigers? This is how you know she killed her husband. Let me give you this shit right here. This is 100% fact.

Are you pulling up a bar right now? What is this? I got something for you, sons. I got something for you. There. I got something for you. There's a great guy, Robert Moore. He did a podcast about Joe Exotic and everything that was going on there. It just didn't get the same level of popularity, but he had done one. So he is a great Twitter thread. And I read some of the tweets, but one of them is this.

This is the 21st. He is a great Twitter thread. You can check it out. It's Robert Moore, R-O-B-e-r-t-m-o-o-r underscore look closely at the restraining order don filled out against carol his signature doesn't match the one on the power of attorney which handed carol uh to control in the event of his disappearance. When I asked Carol about this, she said, he could barely read or write anyway. And you look at the signatures? Completely different? Son!

Different! Bro, he signs one Don Lewis, and the other signature is signed Jack Donald Lewis. Whoa. That's wild that's wild this bitch this murderous bitch she's a murderous bitch and she's not going to get punished in the sense of jail but i feel like for a girl like this when her reputation is dragged through the mud that's almost worse than jail for her that's like that's hell fucking point her whole thing is built on a house of lies of i'm such a good person i'm rescuing animals oh my husband

disappeared i don't know what happened i don't know i'm i'm just out here caring about cats and rescuing cats and she comes out of this looking the worst and now everything is falling apart around ain't nobody supporting big animal rescue after this peter gonna take heat peter gonna take their sponsorship away i'm sure i don't know why peter gonna take heat peter gonna take their sponsorship away i'm sure i don't know why peter didn't catch shit what are you sponsoring this bitch for do you look into this at all that's a great point that is a fantastic they just put the word rescue on it and you were like oh and this thing my girl pointed out like peter just just supported them because it had the word rescue did you look into anything they're not in great

conditions these animals you remember the fucking tiger drinking the water yeah that was so shitty before i found out she killed her husband i was like oh that must be like doctored footage you're not gonna make a tiger stick his fucking neck through something to drink a little bowl of water like oh my god prison inmate great point that prison wouldn't be the greatest punishment for her no we look at it because we want justice but reality this is justice the greatest punishment would be destroying her reputation because that's what she cares the most about she wants the love of the people she wants the love of the people she wants to be upheld so she actually got out of this the worst she got exactly what she deserved because this is hell for her everybody saying she killed her husband like it's a fucking fact like every i haven't heard a single

carol baskins defense at all and that's the only time i you look on twitter for any opinions you can find multiple opinions there's motherfuckers who think the world is flat nobody thinks carol baskins didn't kill her husband there's no flat earther out there there is no one even flat earthers are like yo look, look at the facts. Y'all crazy, man? Like, this is pretty obvious, bro. Yo, the truth is right there. I mean, there's a little research.

Guys, come on. Bro, that just, oh, it's so true. And I want to get back to the documentary thing or documentarian thing about the ethics of being a documentarian. There is something about this uh you had a joke early on about this i think i don't trust documentaries no no no um there is a no no no it was uh it was about like the 10 cents a day kids oh yeah yeah about how like why don't you just they're like starving and it's like you're

standing right next to a starving kid like why don't you just feed them yeah or something like that like a certain point in like are they devoid of like human responsibility for one another like if you're doing a documentary right you're still a human, right, you're still a human being. Right. And you still have a responsibility to people around you. Right. We just allowed him for months, maybe years, to film all these people that he knew were doing horribly illegal shit. And he didn't in any way step in because he was a documentarian. I don't understand why that makes – like if you're – if you know a murder is going to happen, right,arian i don't understand why they make like if you're if you know a murder is going to happen right and you don't do anything can you say oh no i'm not a

documentarian yeah that's true there is some kind of thing if they're actively breaking the law you should report it yeah you are complicit i think that's the term now yeah not to play devil's advocate i think you please do so i can understand you have to have i think if you see someone breaking the law you have to report it as a documentarian i think he saw them breaking the law what did he see he saw them so he saw them breeding the cubs they're not allowed to breed the cubs he saw them um we saw them breed the cubs that's number one doing meth he must have seen people had to see him do the meth yeah i don't know what the what is that because i was going to say doing meth probably He must have seen people doing drugs. He had to see him do the meth. Yeah, I don't know what the, what is that? Because I was going to say.

Well, doing meth probably isn't illegal, but buying it is illegal. I mean, he saw him basically like capturing people. Like he knew the other guys weren't gay. He knew they were taking advantage of them. I don't know if it's illegal to do that kind of stuff, but it is unethical to know that shit is going on and the whole time go, I'm a prophet off of this. You got to be a scumbag, bro.

Like, you're not trying to save people. You don't care about fucking animals. You're doing this because you're like, I can profit off this and I can make millions of dollars potentially. You know who's probably the biggest insight into what a documentarian really is? What? The reality show guy who wanted to do the Joe Exotic reality show. Because remember that guy who I actually thought was full of shit as I was watching, but I think an insight is when he was like, Joe Exotic wanted me to do his internet show if

I could do a reality show on him. And I was like, yeah, fine. I'll do your little piddly ass internet show. I own all this. Who cares? And you look at him like, oh, you're like, you're an asshole. Yeah, you're a fucking leech. Yeah, you're an asshole.

And you're like judging this guy and you're just going to profit off of him and exploit him. You're an asshole. Yeah, you're a fucking leech. Yeah, and you're like judging this guy and you're just going to profit off of him and exploit him. You're an asshole. That might be an insight into a documentary's mindset a bit, which is like, all right, you're a fucking idiot. Oh yeah, they're both equally bad.

Yeah. Like the guy who's doing the documentary, Kirkman, I think his name was, right? Yeah. And this documentary. I just don't know where the ethics come in because I'm fascinated by a documentary. I loved it.

So I play a part in this. Like I can't go, the drug trade is fucked up, and then sit back and be hitting the weed. Yeah. Because I know who dies for me to get high. Right. Everybody's smoking weed right now. Right. Unless you're getting your shit from the government.

And even then, I'm sure there's some way that like government is involved in the drug trade or cartel shit. Probably, right? There has to be some kind of you know feedback with that we're complicit we're complicit so it's easy for me to point the finger even though i'm the reason why that guy's making it because you can make money off a guy like me yeah go mark do you think it's different for journalists this is the thing that journalists they have like the code of journalistic integrity yeah we're like they're taking pictures of starving

kids in africa and they don't give them any food they can't feed them like national geographic like they're doing these crazy shits and they can't intervene you have to be a complete bona fide psychopath like when i watch these these these documentaries on discovery channel and it shows the polar bear slowly dying and you just videotaping this motherfucker slowly die you're like not allowed to help i think but i don't know why come on it's not against the law it's some code or something it can't be illegal to be a doctor you know what that is that's them trying to carve out their immoral life into a moral within the morality we all live in. I'm not allowed to help. Says who, motherfucker? You going to jail for feeding a starving kid?

Nobody in their right mind would send someone to jail for feeding a starving kid. Yeah, that's a great point. They're trying to give themselves an out. They're trying to give themselves an excuse. Because you can't help all these people or we'll go broke. So let's carve out a little place where it's like, well, what we do is cool making money off of them.

But there's a code of ethics that you can't help them we would love to but you can't they're probably going to say this Akash they're going to go

if I make this documentary it's going to reach so many people who are then going to donate money and by donating money we'll help way more of these kids

now what I would say to that is cool that's a great point what you could also do is take the proceeds from your documentary and donate it to them in addition to whatever aid they get.

So would you do that? Now we're getting to this tricky thing where it's like, does capitalism help more people in the long run? Where it's like, if we incentivize people with financial gain,

do more people actually get help? So I'm going to incentivize you to make this documentary with financial gain, do more people actually get help. So I'm going to incentivize you to make this documentary with financial gain. You can become a millionaire off of this. But you know what? If it's popular, people are going to donate tons of money to those starving kids.

It's a tricky thing. And that's why I'm trying to bring it up and just trying to get to the bottom of it. It's like, what are the ethics of making a documentary about some fucked up shit? I've always thought this about Vice. Vice is talking to all these terrorist leaders

and shit like that, right? Yeah. They sit down, they have these documentaries where they're like, hey, we talked to an ISIS leader in a cave in Afghanistan. Tell motherfuckers where that is at! Do you know what I mean?

You fucking hipster with your shaved sides of your head and your koi fish tattoos. Yeah, I don't trust Vice at all. motherfuckers, where the leaders is at. And keep this in mind. You're not getting that meeting for free. Oh, yeah. You think that they're getting that meeting for free?

You think that Afghanistan knows what vice is? Yeah. No, you're coming to them with the bag. Hey, we'll give you 50 grand cash if you let us talk to one of your leaders. Where do you think that money's going you think that money's going to to what to buy some kites for the kids to play with build a school no that's going to bombs to blow motherfuckers up yo i never trusted vice ever they always acted like they were above journalists and like more. You're a billion dollar corporation. What's the name, bro?

Vice. Great point. Fucking great point. Sometimes you hide in plain sight. Fucking great point. So what are the ethics? Mark, you look like you're looking this up right now. Yeah, well, this reminds me of a story.

There's this famous photographer, Kevin Carter. You ever heard of this dude? No. So he took this famous picture of this starving girl with a vulture behind her oh they won a pulitzer prize like 1993 and then after coming back from nairobi where he took this picture killed himself because he was so like depressed and like sad that he couldn't do anything to help well he could go like this to the vulture You know how easy it is to get a bird away? You couldn't do that?

That's against journalistic integrity? This? Us fucking stomp? You couldn't hard stomp, son? You couldn't do a little Matt Barnes to Kobe? Paul fake. Matt Barnes to Kobe. Come on, bro. what are the ethics man

I really why do we never question it why do we see these documentaries like son you remember that show we would always watch Intervention yeah

Intervene you're just falling around this bitch running around shooting meth in her arm and sucking dick yo you right and there's a producer and a camera make sure you get the camera make sure you get You're just falling around as bits, running around, shooting meth in her arm and sucking dick. Yo, you right, yo. And there's a producer and a camera.

Make sure you get the camera. Make sure you get... Sweetheart, could you stop injecting? Just give us a second so we can set this shot up. Can you actually... Can you shoot up again?

Because we didn't get it clean that time. Don't worry, we'll pay for it. Just shoot up again. There's a lot of noise in the background. If you could just do that again. We didn't get it clean.

Neither did she. Neither were the needles, but the shot mostly is more important but what are the fucking ethics man like is information more valuable do do we just do we just do we basically sit back and go these people don't need to subscribe to the morality the rest of humanity does because they're giving us information that we would not have without that goes out to the masses. And then the masses can do something.

I think the way they rationalize it would be it's unethical for me to intervene in any way for good or for bad. My job is to report on the actual things that are happening. But again, a woman who's about to get eaten by a vulture, you got the picture. Now do something.

Instead of just killing yourself yeah son i mean what a cuck thing i don't why can't you intervene i don't under oh wait a minute because you can intervene in the negative way you could intervene in negative and two this might be it. Journalists have immunity in war zones. Not complete immunity, but they can go to the bad guys. They can go to the good guys, whoever the bad guys or good guys are. We don't know, right? But they can go around to both sides. And generally speaking, they're taken care of.

They're like, hey, I'm a journalist. I'm not doing anything for any – I'm just here to document what's going on. They're not killed. Once they start intervening, their protection is out the window. Now, when we're going to some tribal warfare zone

in fucking the Congo, and the journalist is just there to ask questions, they got to kidnap the journalist because they're like, yo, the last one that came here, he intervened when some girl

was getting her arm chopped off for stealing a diamond. So you might be here to intervene as well. Or he's feeding our enemies to go, fuck yourself. You're not getting anything out of me. Maybe I'll kill you, whatever. So maybe the honorable thing for a journalist to do is protect other journalists by not intervening. That's interesting. I don't think it applies to like a vulture eating a bitch.

I mean. It's a girl just call a starving nine-year-old a bitch bro yo i gotta keep that same energy you know i mean do you would anybody would anybody be listening that sentence at home going oh you're not gonna call the starving nine-year-old been eaten by a vulture, bitch. Oh, you soft. Can I say one thing? All right, go.

You right. You bring up a valid point. I can't argue with what you're saying right now. What you just did, I've been hoping my girl would do for about a year right now. Just interrupt me and go,

you right. Oh, fuck, man. You got to be a straight sociopath to go into those environments knowing you can't intervene at all. You have to be a straight sociopath. Getting your perfect shot. Oh, yeah. It's gross. It really must do something to you.

It has to. We have to interview. You know what? We know someone. Isabel, the woman who interviewed me for the French newspaper. She was a journalist for War Zones. So she would go to, like, North Africa during their conflicts and that kind of stuff. And she'd literally just survive out there by going around.

stuff and she literally just survive out there by going around and she said that oftentimes these like tribes are were really um excited about having journalists there that you know there's there's an ego to them they want to like right people to know and shit so they treat them pretty well but uh like she was in uh gaddafi's mansion the day after it got raided whoa yeah and uh but we should talk to her like what are the ethics did you see anybody struggling and you just couldn't help them yeah

oh I would love to talk to her yeah we're gonna have to get her on 100% she's not doing shit nobody's doing shit we literally should start FaceTiming people in huh yeah

FaceTime the most famous people you know and just see what happens yes you know what I mean just set them up just burn every single connection i have no no no just ask them if they want to do it but just you know just facetime at a random time and just be like

hey you want to you want to be on a podcast right now no okay cool and we don't need to tell them who they are unless they say yes ah so they say yes then we put them on the screen if say no, it's just a fun game of who said no. That's a great idea a lot. Yeah. That's a great idea. And you could probably mute their voice whenever, you know what I mean? Yeah.

And we could also see how many people don't answer my FaceTime. Which would be so funny. It'd be so funny. Nah, this is my boy. It's potentially an hour of content right there. And then you get back down to Alex. Hey, how's the editing coming? Oh, what a lingon good to see you man glad to have you on actually you know what it was better getting rejected by people let's hang up let's get the fuck out of here oh fuck guys what how much time are we on

mark um where are we at a A little over... Like hour 20? Hour 20, around there? A little over that, yep. Okay, cool. So we got a couple more tings that we have to discuss. And then... I had one question. Yes, please go.

Well, one question, two questions, I guess, for you. I've been enjoying these combos, right? This is a nice, meaty combo. Oh, this is beautiful. Okay, go. This is beautiful. James Dolan, how'd you feel about it about it dude i did a long rant about it it was um it's it's weird it's like you don't want anybody to die from this shit i don't mind james dolan i'm not even a knicks fan

i just know how i feel if jerry jones got it and died i would feel bad because i wished it but i wouldn't feel bad that it happened yo that's that's interesting that's the thing i don't want to feel responsible but i'm not yes but you're not responsible but you feel like by wishing it there's something immoral about it right yeah yeah yeah no it is here's the thing if the knicks got a new owner that's awesome yeah by any means that's awesome that the knicks have a new owner if james Olin died before he had to, that's fucked up. That is fucked up. And I don't think being a shitty owner of an NBA team is worth

dying. I'm about to shit my pants. We might need to pause because I am about to shit my pants right now. I gotta go. You got 10 minutes or no? I'm back in five because I got half of it out before the pod. And I knew there was a little bit more.

And you know what's a really weird feeling? To wipe with gloves on. Oh, yeah. Because you don't know if you break through. So let me ask you this. I got to pee. Do I take the hazmat fully off? Come with me.

Or do I just unzip in the thing and make it work? No, you just unzip and pull that fucking big old meaty Indian cock out. Martin, you want to come? Fifteen minutes later. And we back, baby. And we back. I'm going to be honest with you. We were actually back before, but we didn't want it to be jumpy,

so we fake walked back into the frame. That's what just happened. So you guys know, no smoke and mirrors whatsoever. This is real. It's not no documentary bullshit. No smoke and mirrors like Drake's IG. Oh, shit! All right, so while we're taking some dumps, some simultaneous dumps.

Wait, did you dump? No, I pissed. Just making a pips? Yeah. You making a pipi? You sucking a dick? Sucking a dick. Sucking a dick.

God damn, bro. Sucking a dick. You're the roadrunner. Yeah. Second headache. Second headache. God damn, bro. Second headache.

You're the roadrunner. Yeah. So, apparently a flagrant to asshole army member sent Mark a picture of Champagne Poppy. Drake is out here photoshopping his images, bro. It is embarrassing. And you know what? It's one thing to go get the surgery. It's one thing to get makeup.

It's one thing to dress get the surgery. It's one thing to get makeup. It's one thing to dress in all the coolest clothes. It's another thing to Photoshop your images to make it even more unrealistic than your already unrealistic life, man. Yo, it's crazy, dude. It should be almost illegal. It's like, do one or the other, bro. You either get the surgery or you get the Photoshop. So for clarity, someone showed us a picture of Champagne Poppy's Instagram and then a picture of Sophie. It's Champagne Poppy.

And if you're watching the video, you can see it. If you're listening, we'll describe. So it's Champagne Poppy, Sophie Brasucks, whatever her name is. I like Brasucks. Brasucks. And then their kid. It's all three of them. He posted a picture and she posted the same picture.

Now, her picture has been photoshopped. Blatantly. Or his. Well, we know hers has been photoshopped. At first glance, her picture is overtly photoshopped because they both have blonde hair like Adonis. So go to that picture real quick for us, Mark. So it's Drake and Sophie with blonde hair to match Adonis' hair. That's the joke.

This kid is blonde. He looks like our kid now. So now they made Drake kind of look like Eminem with the bleached blonde hair. She with blonde hair to match Adonis' hair. That's the joke. This kid is blonde. He looks like our kid now. So now they made Drake kind of look like Eminem with the bleached blonde hair. She has blonde hair and the kid has blonde curly hair. They're a big happy family. Everything's fine. But then if you look closer to the image, you notice that the hair is not the only thing that's been photoshopped. And we don't know who's doing the photoshopping

it might be both of them now click back quickly to drake's image the exact same image but drake's version if you notice and we're going to do a back and forth click i want you to pay attention to something you're probably already looking at the tits look at the tits right now and now click back to sophie's version her tits are noticeably what smaller noticeably smaller her stomach is noticeably um flatter but in drake's image it actually goes even further in so yeah it's like concave it's concave so one would one would believe either she made her tits look smaller in her version yeah or drake made her tits look bigger in his version. And here's why I think Drake did the photoshopping.

First of all, I'm a Drake hater. I acknowledge that. Yeah. But also, if you look at Drake, and you go back and forth between picture and picture, if you look at the Drake picture, Drake looked brolic. Posture up, shoulders high, traps looking huge.

And then if you look at the Sophie picture, suddenly he looks a lot skinnier. Not that he's in bad shape, but he don't look as a brolic. His shoulders sit lower, got a little more slouch, less trap. So I would assume she's not going to Photoshop Drake to look less swole unless she's spiteful. So you're saying Drake Photoshopped himself to look more muscular, have bigger shoulders, bigger traps, and made his Sophie Brassux look like she had bigger titties and a slimmer waist.

Yes. Whoa. That makes more sense to me than her making her titties look smaller, her stomach more natural, and him look skinnier. I want you to, I'm hoping that this is they're not true what i'm thinking right now switch images real quick go again go again go again okay you're looking at adonis i'm looking at adonis fortunately they photoshopped adonis i don't think they touched him up they did his hair his hair that's the joke i think that they made his hair more blonde yeah for hers i think she like bleached everybody's hair blonde but wow man she significantly reduces the size of her right titty

i mean i wonder i really wonder if every single picture that they post or that Drake posts, he basically sends somebody. He's like, yo, make this picture the best picture it can be. Because I have a friend who will remain nameless, but he has somebody who Photoshop's his images before they hit Instagram. He has just a kid who just – Say again? That's hysterical. It is hysterical. It would be even funnier if you knew who it was.

That's hysterical. It is hysterical. And it'd be even funnier if you knew who it was. But basically, before they hit Instagram, they get Photoshopped to basically bring out the color. Not like to make the physique or anything look different, but to bring out the color. And he needs it. So, shouts to you, F.A. So basically, if you're a famous person and social media is so important to you, you would think that there is a vetting process for every picture. It's not they're just throwing a picture up like me and you. They're sending it to their social media guy who makes sure that their skin looks immaculate, that their face looks even, everything looks perfect.

Wait, real quick. Is his watch cut out of her no it's just the image is cut okay yeah i mean but i mean everyone's doing this though that's the thing everybody is fucking doing it every instagram model because they're doing it though because it behooves you because if you photoshop i don't know you photoshop your photos it costs you 100 bucks a pic you make 10 times that by being hotter yeah yeah no i understand it for instagram hoses only talent is to be hot drake is even from the biggest drake hater supremely talented yeah what do you need to do this for can we bring up her porn is that weird

to look at a kid and then go can we bring up her porn but her porn how was that it was i don't think it wasn't even porn right she just like rubbing oil on her body or something right i had no idea back in the day i watched it go back again go back again i just can't believe it dude come on drake photoshop his face shape is a little bit more full too in the photoshop one his face looks a little bit skinnier in the in the in her version a little more like stretched out yeah i don't know i mean what a shame i can't be the case fellas please stop photoshopping your images like yo rappers auto-tune not face to come on man you can't do this man just stop it you realize how much harder you're making it on

yourself you know we can't do what women do right like women had this women had a perfect they're the only ones with pussies and we had to fuck them yeah and they got so competitive they started shaving their pussies and waxing this and adding fucking eyelashes they're just making their life more difficult trying to have a competitive advantage versus each other right yeah it's like free market capitalism hit pussy and then it never looked back you know and now they have to go through all this bullshit that they put on themselves if we stripped, everyone went back to normal, you're going to get the same guys. Yeah.

Right? It's like that girl that puts on all the makeup when she goes out, you're not going to trick a guy for more than a night. Yes. Right? You're going to trick a guy one night, the next morning he's going to see your face on his face and he's going to be like,

okay, i'm not gonna holler at that girl anymore right so you're still gonna end up with the guy you're supposed to be with the guy that accepts you for who you are because at the end of the day you're gonna have to wake up with who you are so cut the shit out if everybody just goes yo we're not doing anymore and it's done nothing changes you know all we ever had to work on before is our personality that's it be funny be charming that's not that hard yes that's not an hour in the gym four times a week and eating fucking steamed

broccoli and chicken breast that's just shitting on each other to the point that you sharpen your tool sharpen it that's it it was so easy stop thinking ugly girls don't get laid there's Irish people born every day why you're gonna get laid you're gonna find someone that appreciates Irish people born every day. Why?

You're going to get laid. You're going to find someone that appreciates you, respects you, loves you. We're all holding ourselves up to this ridiculous fucking standard. We got to stop it. Maybe that's one thing the coronavirus helped. Yeah. There's no more makeup. No, you're done.

Ain't no point. When you're masked up, there's no more makeup. Mask on. And we're going to, there's no more makeup. Mask on. And we're going to be so fucking excited to see one another. We're not going to care if you have extra long curly eyebrows. Oh, yeah. Or fucking mascara or any of that shit. We're not going to care.

But this is a girl's opportunity. As soon as we're allowed outside, they're all going to get dolled up. They've been waiting. They have been waiting. They have been waiting. But we don't have to feed into that that we don't have to recreate that on our end as guys i know when fucking crunches all the whole time we're in quarantine no we're gonna look like shit coming out but i guess what i'm saying girls is like we we're fucking hungry hungry hippos bro we are ready to go yeah it's literally you could walk outside in the exact same thing you've been wearing the entire quarantine we're gonna take it 100 we're starved for it you don't gotta do you think post-quarantine

the the pussy levees will open do girls want to get fucked like will it be wild if you're a single guy right now 100 you think game's gonna be new level new level but i also think women are gonna understand the importance of a relationship like those girls they're just like i'm gonna fuck whoever and like i'm gonna be a whore and being a whore is fun and all that kind of shit like you can do that when society is great and money is great and your job's guaranteed and all like free sex and frivolousness sexually yeah weasley bored in luxury yeah like all these hoes are bored out their mind now. What's Weezy doing? Bored.

Nothing. Chilling. Nah, she might be in Mexico or some shit. But if not, like all these girls who are like single but they're hoeing, they're bored out their fucking mind right now. Whole life only works in the first world in luxury. If you got any sort of struggle whatsoever, like if a hurricane comes and tears apart your fucking house every year,

you can want a man to help you put that shit back together. Ain't no hoes in the fucking Caribbean, yo. Yo, relationships are great in crisis time. Fat. And most people live in crisis. Yeah, you're right. Like all these feminists mad quiet now, huh? Oh, you're right.

Real quiet. Real quiet. All these bitches proud that they can't cook. Where you at now? You know what I mean? Besides being a nuisance to your fucking man. Your man is finding out exactly how useful you are when shit hits the fan. Bruh.

Bruh. You know what I mean? Bruh. And that's true. This is most of human history Is just struggle And trying to survive That's why monogamy Was important back in the day

That's how you survived That's how the kids survived Yeah Hey bro You both gotta protect this kid Hey bro You got multiple families and shit From different women

That might be hard to handle Yeah You can only rebuild one house at a time It's a wrap right If you got multiple families in quarantine It's a wrap Son Shelter at home Which home? Which home? You better know Shit time you'll wrap right if you got multiple families in quarantine it's a wrap son shelter

at home which home which home you better know guys in utah shitting their pants right now i for real i think we might come out of this a little different bro people might women might get like a reality check out of this they might be like whoa this whole life is not for me whoa this free sex shit oh that that's only works when things are good oh it absolutely sucks oh i understand the value of monogamy you want to have someone even if that someone isn't the person you're going to marry it's nice to have someone right now you self-isolated years ago you built this hey hey man we need to call a hoe. We need to call a hoe and see if she wants to be redeemed, bro.

If she's done with this life. Go and do a whole food shop alone to cook for nobody. Yo, fighting off fucking animals in the grocery store alone? Hey, hey, you're not going through your toilet paper. It's just you. You know what I'm saying? You order in from Sugarfish a couple times That's exciting Eventually you just eat Sugarfish alone

Come on now y'all Come on now Did you already talk about how all the sugar daddies are gonna die From Corona Oh fuck So now their sugar daddies are dead Now Now you just sugar, huh?

Yo, these IG thoughts, they're going to be taking a lot of domestic pictures all of a sudden. Here's Cincinnati. You literally. We got a great zoo. You are flued out. Yo. You know what I'm saying? All these bitches are flewed out bro

Yeah You're not getting Flew out You got flewed out You flewed out Of your lifestyle bro Yo It's a wrap for you hoes

It's so true It's over The gig is up These hoes Gonna be taking pictures With baby tigers And the tiger behind a cage And they just

Geotag Zoo San Diego Zoo That's it bro Oh man It's gonna be hard out here We gotta call some hoes And ask how they're coping

Through this shit man Because it's lonely In these streets A lot of FaceTime You know you can't FaceTime That married guy You were fucking Cause he's with his wife

Who knows how to cook He ignoring you He probably blocked Your fucking number by now Block My chin out I mean dude This is absurd is this shit in my eyes the covid mask even smaller i think it's for kids i think i got a kid covid mask

you got that that shit really don't fit me dog i mean you got to respect bane a little bit what this guy endured what this guy endured bro wearing this guy endured, bro. Wearing that dumb shit over his fucking face this whole time. Anyway, man, prayers out to you hoes, man. Hopefully you change your life and realize the value of being with a man and cooking for him and looking after him and nurturing him. And loving somebody. And loving on somebody. Besides yourself. Besides yourself, man. cooking for him and looking after him and nurturing him and loving somebody and loving

on somebody yourself besides yourself man that is what you're here for literally what you are put on this planet to do what you've evolved to do for millions of years are all those things so you might might not realize why you know you might realize and matter of fact maybe take this time learn how to do all those shits that you shun. All you lonely feminists out there, take this time to learn how to be a woman again. It might be hard for some of you. Why? Well, no, their hair is growing out. You know, I know you got a little short ass haircut like me.

Let that shit grow out. Be a woman again. That's all COVID is doing. It's just letting the feminist march bitches bitches letting all that pink hair grow out where are you marching bitch you can't go nowhere exactly you in the house march to the kitchen bitch learn how to cook some pancakes bare minimum pancakes eggs bitch start with one meal yeah you better take up bacon hey you know the least you could do you got time on your hands get your life right man get you a man to bring home the bacon and you cook that motherfucker let's go guys it's been another

episode of flagrant 2 uh we love y'all i'm andrew schultz akash singh mark gagnon um we'll see you on patreon man love you all over there on patreon um we'll see you on Patreon, man. Love you all over there on Patreon. We'll see you this Friday. Episodes come out a little late because we're doing them day of. Yeah. That's why these episodes are a little late. We do them day of so that we can react to anything that happened the day before at night.

So they come out a little bit later, but they're more up to date. They're more up to date, man. And you know we need that hot take on Carole Baskin. You know what I mean? Robert Moore might be out there tweeting some hotness that we need to share with y'all. I'm going to be back next week. I'm going to wear a baseball mitt.

I'm going to attach a motherfucking Velcro to a baseball mitt because I think that's the only thing that's going to cover my face. Figure out how to rig that COVID mask, please. I might figure it out. I'm going to make a longer COVID mask. I'm going to figure some shit out. I out how to rig that COVID mask, please. I might figure it out. I'm gonna make a longer COVID mask. I'm gonna figure some shit out. I'm gonna be ready for Patreon, though. Real talk, all right? Everybody pray for Akash and his girl

because they about good as dead. Mark's girl is literally a nurse, right? She a nurse, so Mark about to get this shit. Listen, they trying to take everybody out, okay? They trying to take everybody out. I? They try to take everybody out. I was too cavalier this whole time

being like, everybody gonna get it, what the fuck can you do? Yeah, you were a little too cavalier. You were a little too cavalier, but they taking your ass out and they taking your ass out. You know what I mean?

But let me tell you something about Flagrant 2. Let me tell you something about this movie. The black man ain't the first man to die in this movie. Okay?

I got him safely quarantined for when these motherfuckers die. Alex will come back and save the day. Oh, fuck. Anyway, bro. We love y'all, man. We'll see you on Patreon. Patreon.com slash flagrant2 if you want to join in and see what's going on over there. Continue the flagrancy on your Fridays because you know you ain't got shit to do on a Friday anyway.

So come fucks with us. Continue the conversation. We love your Fridays because, you know, you ain't got shit to do on a Friday anyway. So come fucks with us. Continue the conversation. We love y'all. Peace.