Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh - God's Favorite Podcast

Episode Date: May 14, 2019

This week Andrew, Akaash, and Kaz discuss: NBA Semi Finals, Joel Embiid Crying, Kawhi's series ending shot, God loves Flagrant 2, CP losing his powers, Flagrant's hottest chick, and much more! INDULGE!!

What's up everybody Welcome to another episode of Flagrant 2 No easy buckets Analysis by assholes Water cooler commentary for your sports needs I'm Andrew Schultz I'm here with Akash Singh Real life cast

Yes sir We got Alex Media and Eden on the ones and twos And this episode has been brought to you by Manscaped Alright The Flagrant 2 push with that lawnmower 2.0 Is the real deal And twos And this episode Has been brought to you By Manscaped Alright The flagrant two push With that lawnmower 2.0 Is the real deal If you guys

Don't know about Manscaped You're about to find out Right now As I tell you All about them And the success That we've had With their product

They are a Male grooming product Okay They shave up your pubes They keep it tight Down there And that lawnmower 2.0 is

According to manscape The number one purchased product by the asshole Army keep up the good work Asshole speaking of assholes if that Area needs a little touch Up you might as well get it over There to the lawnmower extends past the Balls you can get gooch you can get booty hole you can

Do everything you need to do downstairs because you don't want to be mixing that upstairs razor with that downstairs razor. All right. Whatever you got going on downstairs, we're not judging. Don't bring it upstairs and vice versa. If you haven't purchased anything, hurry your ass up. Get over to manscaped.com. Remember, this is brought to you by the Flavor Media Group. Okay. Shouts to my man, Devon, working his ass off over there. Shouts to my man, Jamil, working his ass off out there. Flavor my man Jamil Working his ass off out there Flager Media Group Making moves

Manscaped.com Use our promo code Flagrant You save 20% off Anything purchased And get free shipping Anytime you or anyone You know

Uses our code at checkout That's right You can share with your peoples Tell them to use flagrant as well There's no reason You should be shaving your body Balls or pews With the same razor Or trimmer you use on your face.

So stop that right now. Disgusting. Disgusting. Get that Lawn Mower 2.0 trimmer with SkinSafe technology for a smooth shave every time, everywhere. They have anti-shaving deodorants and moisturizers for your balls as well. They now have a foot spray that smells amazing. That's right. A foot spray protects against sweat and gives you a cooling sensation for up to 24 hours.

Stop offending yourself or the people close to you by not being groomed or smelling bad. Get it right. Okay? Get it for someone you know. Get it for someone you know whose balls or feet need an adjustment. Don't even make it an awkward conversation Just hand it off to them Manscaped.com

They will put it together Promo code is flagrant 20% off This show is also Brought to you by Adam and Eve guys AdamandEve.com Are back

Free stuff is awesome We love free stuff Over here But free stuff To spice up your bedroom Is even better Okay Select almost any one item

For 50% off And then Adam and Eve Loads on the free stuff A sexy item for you A special gift for bae And A three item

Little Sorry A third item That you'll both enjoy okay and you're gonna get six spicy movies there's a lot of things they're giving away plus free shipping just use the promo code flagrant get almost everything for flea over for free over at uh adamandeve.com all right it's flagrant f-l-a-g-r-a-n-t offer code flagrant at checkout at adamandeve.com get what you need over there and if you don't need anything get some condoms everybody is going to need condoms if you're not using them now you will be using them in the future and if you aren't using them now you should definitely make it a habit to do so it was just mother's day all right

you don't want to be celebrating that next year with your girlfriend unless it's planned. So go get what you need to get over at adamandeve.com. Now, let's start the show. What an amazing weekend of content. What an amazing weekend of basketball games. It's important to start with one of the most glorious clutch shots in the history of playoff basketball. I know for a fact Max Kellerman was texting Stephen A. Smith and Jay Williams. He feels vindicated this week. I'm not saying that Kawhi is better than Kobe or more clutch than Kobe, but Max got a couple percentage points back on the power meter after that shot drop for Kawhi.

He did the one thing that Kobe or MJ has never done. Which is? Win a buzzer beater game seven. You already did it in a game five in the first round back when it was best of five, though. Yeah, but game five against Cavs. It was game five first round. So it was a deciding game. against caps was game five deciding game game five game seven the same to me yeah i didn't think that anything could top like the dame lillard

logo three pointer but like the fucking drama of that ball bouncing for it was like you see it in the movies yeah and like you always feel like the ball never bounces that many times that makes no sense like it was the first time i've really seen that happen. The only time I've ever seen that happen on a game-winning shot was when I beat Jay Williams with the Hezzy. It was an almost identical bounce. I wish we need to almost bring it up and put them side by side. They call that a champion's bounce. It's a champion. They call that a champion's bounce.

The shooter's touch, yo. It was amazing. Never in my life uh if you if you look at kawaii i mean i think everybody is in the internet has spoken about this but it was really cool to see kawaii actually show emotion what was hilarious was this if you watch the clip and i know we're not watching with audio or anything like that right but if you watch the clip on tnt right i think it was tnt game tnt yep if you watch a clip on tnt the ball goes in this is not going to be it actually pauses for a second so if you watch the clip on tnt right

the ball goes in now my first reaction is oh my god i'm going to get to see kawai actually emote i'm going to get to see him go crazy right i'm going to get to feel what it feels like when he finally gets excited, right? And the shot is wide. You see Kyle grab the ball and run towards him, right? And the shot goes in close. And right when you're about to see his face get crazy, like Marc Gasol's head goes in front of him. So he switches to another angle. And right when you're about to see him go crazy, then all of a sudden Kyle's head goes in front of him. They should have never shown it.

It would have been better. Like Wilson on Home Improvement. Remember you never had to see Wilson go crazy. Then all of a sudden, Kyle's head goes in front of him. They should have never shown it. It would have been better. Like Wilson on Home Improvement. Remember, you never had to see Wilson's face? Dude, it's a headless horseman. This exactly... No, let's look at it from this angle right here. Yeah, I think this is the angle. Yeah, this is right here.

Okay, so he goes up, shoots, and sits it down. And covered. Good. Wait for it. So now you have no clue what's happening. All right, switch the angle. Covered. And... Now. So now you have no clue what's happening. Switch the angle. Covered.

And now we'll look at the back of his head while he's screaming. Okay? Switch again. Covered. It's constantly covered. You can't for a fraction of a second you'll see him yelling. And then by the time you see him, it's over. He's done.

By the time you see him, he's in the post-game interview. And he's like, yeah, I just. You see him at the very end of this clip. You see him, but he's like done. For a second. He's like, I got it out. He's back to post-game interview, and he's like, yeah, just practice that shot. You see him at the very end of this clip. You see him, but he's like done. For a second, yeah. He's like, I got it out. He's back to normal now. Yeah.

So what was obviously an amazing shot, but what was so clutch about the shot is he missed the free throw to seal the game. Yeah. Yeah. Which I didn't see coming. I mean, like, mind you, I think he had like 15 points in the fourth quarter or something. Oh, he was killing it. He had like nine in the last 12, too.

I mean, it was sad. 40 shots. It was 40 shots. Dude, it's game seven. You put up as many shots as needed. Look at that crouch waiting for the bounce. And it's such a great fucking photo. It's like a fucking Renaissance photo.

Because everybody kind of knows it's going to happen. But they don't want it to. I feel so bad for Joel and B. God, how stupid do rich Canadians dress? This is the front row at the whatever center it is in Canada. The Scotiabank Arena now.

It's not here in Canada anymore. Oh, the Scotiabank Arena. Okay. Here you've got Steven Seagal or what looks like Steven Seagal. Yeah.

Right? I see two John Goodmans to be honest with you. Everybody's a John Goodman. Right? Here's Brian Seagal, Steven's brother manager. These are not actually these people,

but they're horrible. This guy put a lot of money on the Sixers. This guy looks like Hannibal Buress up here. In the top. God damn. Look at these idiots looking on the Jumbotron. They're five feet away. I know. Oh, this is crazy, dude. And poor Jimmy, man.

He almost had his hero's moment right there when he tied the game. It came yeah it came really close but at the same time man like i feel for you we saw oh y'all saw joel and beat cry like a baby afterwards right we'll get into that in a second um god damn it was hyped up like these entire conference semis were hyped up as like quote unquote like the greatest conference semis ever like even as, quote-unquote, the greatest conference semis ever. Even before the games started. You don't need LeBron. You don't need LeBron.

NBA does not need LeBron. Matter of fact, it's even better without LeBron. And let me tell you this. I know this is going to sound wild. Don't need KD either. It is better without the superstars. I'm with you on that, too. Because right now, I was talking to somebody today,

and I was like Yo this is the first time The team's ads constructed I like all of them Everybody can win Everybody can win You know why You know why you might not need

LeBron or KD Cause they might not be The two best players In the league anymore Ooh pump the brakes But make your argument Yeah Okay

Giannis Yep This year Best player in the league Okay We all slept on kawaii yeah but we're looking at kawaii in the playoffs when you consider his defensive contribution yeah is he definitively worse than durant so i i think i'd take durant but it's a conversation let's so let's have that. You've just completely flipped me. So, yeah, we are guilty of not recency bias, but like history bias.

We are calculating the amazing efforts of LeBron and KD throughout their careers and not calculating what Kawhi and Giannis have grown into specifically this year, which continues on your argument, but it's a conversation that needs to be had, which is as great a coach as Pop is, he takes your soul. And you are not as great as you could be if you are with Pop, and we would never see this Kawhi that puts up 39 shots in a game seven and carries a team on his back with Popovich. And we might not see that because maybe Popovich would devise a game plan so good that it would

be an easier victory. It doesn't come down to that. But I think that Kawhi leaving Pop will be the greatest decision that he's made in his career because you will get to see the height that Kawhi can go. You get to see him unleashed. No matter how good he is, it's almost like playing for the Patriots. No matter how good you are, Belichick's always going to get the credit.

Popovich is always going to get the credit. Here's what I would say. The first year Kawhi was the unquestioned alpha, he was destroying the conference finals and then got hurt. Yeah. I do think Pop would let Kawhi shine when everybody else is gone.

It's like, okay, you are the guy now. Sure. I don't deny that, but don't you feel like the game and the offense that Pop operates in is so team-oriented that you don't get to see someone carry? Yeah. I'm trying to think back to Spurs teams. And as great as Tim Duncan was, I can't recall a game where it's like, whoa, Tim really put him on his back. Well, there's two reasons.

I remember one game where, I think the game where Derek Fisher had that fucking 0.4 turnaround or whatever. And I remember that game, like Duncan went nuts that game because right before he hit a fucking falling, banking three-pointer, he had like 40 that game or something.

That was like the only time I remember Tim Duncan like completely offensively. We're talking a guy who has five rings. We had one game where we remember. I remember Duncan having 40 in a game he lost against the Mavs in game seven. I've seen Duncan do it. Now, I think another thing that helped Kawhi is that no one else wanted the fucking ball. I want to get into that as well, but I don't want to leave alone this Pop concept here.

I think what is so great about Pop is that he gets you to opt into team and what is so great about not being with pop is you have to carry a team with yourself at times at times yeah and we saw throughout this series, Kawhi go, we are going to win. Yeah. Yeah. We are going to win, and I will take us to victory. I forget the actual stat, but he scored the most points, I think the second or third most points in a series in playoff history. And I think the only two people who beat him was like Will and like Jordan. And I think he actually beat Jordan.

I think there was like maybe two other series with Jordan in there. Unbelievable. But there was one Jordan. It was like Jordan, LeBron, Kawhi, Jordan twice, and then Wiltz. We would never know how good Kawhi is if he stayed with the Spurs. And I'm not saying this is a knock to Popovich. I think what makes a coach great, to be honest with you, what makes the Raptors so effective is there's a guy like Marc Gasol

that can put up 30 point games That averages 9 points a game Right Cause Marc opts in Yeah That's what he needs him to do

I'm gonna I'm gonna Play my hardest On defense And give everything On defense Against one of the Best up and coming

Players in the league Joel Embiid And that's what This team needs from me Right And Most teams Do not get you to opt in in that way. Right.

But seeing what Kawhi did. Yeah. A special performance. I mean, like, there were times. That's an all-timer. That's an all-timer. Holy shit. Like, we're going to, he gets a statue.

If, like, if they resign him or whatever, and he stays there, he gets the statue, like, right after Vince Carter. I'm glad you said that. Vince is officially buried. Before this, the ghost of Vince Carter loomed over the Toronto Raptors. And I feel like

after this performance, and granted they're just going back to the Eastern Conference Finals, which they have gone before since Vince, but it was something about the way that they beat this Philadelphia team that had monsters on it. We're talking about

four monsters. We're talking about Joel Embiid, Tobias Harris, Ben Simmons, one other one. Jimmy Butler. Jimmy Butler.

JJ Redick. On paper, they are supposed to win this series. And he took them. And he took this series. Kawhi took this series from the Sixers. To your point, the reason people always put Kobe over Tim might be Tim didn't have to

just carry the team constantly. Because Pop is a better coach and he gets the team involved. Also, and I picked the Raptors to go to the finals. And I think Kyle Lowry has found his way to be effective in the playoffs. Yes. But Pascal Siakam. Yep. If you don't learn to take a fucking shot, they're not going to win.

So Pascal's interesting, right? Because there are moments of this series where we saw him flash signs of brilliance, right? We saw him put up, was it this one or last one where he put up 30 plus? Definitely wasn't this one. I think it was last series. So last series he puts up 30, last season he put up. Okay. Last series.

Last series he puts up 30 plus. And I think we sat. Okay. Last series. Last series he puts up 30 plus. And I think we sat here and we were like, this kid just found himself. Yeah. And in this series, it was limiting for him. In game seven in particular. It was limiting. Everybody, the commentators are saying, Greg Anthony is like, yo, this guy is terrified to take a shot.

Well, you got to understand, he's coming into a what? He was just getting his league legs under him. People know who he is. You've got to scout for him now, right? And on top of that, you're going against the Sixers. And if you're a wing guy and you're not an all-time fucking talent like Kawhi Leonard, you've got Jimmy Butler dogging you. You've got Tobias Harris dogging you.

You've got Ben Simmons. These are three 6'8 dogs on defense that are going to come after you. And I can see why he had some subpar games. So I think he'll do better in the next round. I mean, like, if Giannis isn't guarding him, or I think Giannis takes the challenge of guarding Kawhi.

Man, I can't wait for that. And we can start getting to this conversation about what happens next series. You have an interesting matchup right we all know the matchup that we want to see is is jonas and kawai right now if you noticed in game seven kawai didn't really mark butler this series there are times he would mark him but it wasn't the main defender and they said game seven they were like, we need you to turn the water off.

And they turned it off. Butler struck. Now, he had a big layup at the end. He had a couple shots. But the water, it wasn't a lot of water pressure. It was a trippy faucet, right? It was a low-scoring game, yeah. But sorry about that. So the wisdom that you bring into a series with Giannis is like,

and something you've got to think about when you're a coach and a GM is, is we know we have this guy that can turn the water off. How much energy do we want to risk expending? That's the hardest part. That's the hardest part because you need his buckets too. You need them all. And if you're going to burn him Guarding the probable MVP of the league Right

Like I don't know If you wanna do that You know what I mean Like maybe you gotta Tell Pascal Siakam To put his boy pants on And like go guard him You know what I'm saying

Because we need Kawhi To score buckets So what would you do What do you do Listen if it's game seven We already know Who's on top Oh yeah you emptied a clip

In game seven Let's go And I wanna hear From both of you guys What do you do Game one defensive matchups Rapt Raptors, Bucs? What I do is what the Celtics did in game one. Okay.

You let Giannis get his and stop shooters from going off. And they won handily that first game, right? You tell Siakam or you tell somebody. Who else? Mark. I tell Serge Ibaka. It's Serge, Mark, and Siakam. Yo, you tell Siakam or you tell somebody, who else? Mark. I tell Serge Ibaka. It's Serge, Mark, and Siakam. I tell Serge, yo, you follow Giannis, you wear him down or do whatever you can.

Yeah. You tell Siakam and Kawhi, make sure those shooters don't get off. And if those shooters don't get off and you could hold Giannis and let Giannis kind of get his 30 without getting the assist because the assist is where he kills you. Like when he's driving and these guys are getting wide open threes, that's when you're done. But if Giannis gets his 30 and he gets two assists, you could live with that. You're cool with Giannis being responsible for 36 points, not 56 points. Exactly.

Akash? Yeah, that makes a lot of sense. I was going to say maybe just have Kawhi guard him in the fourth, save him until the fourth. But that makes a ton of sense. I was going to say maybe just have Kawhi guard him in the fourth but save him until the fourth but that makes a ton of sense too. Now how did they how did Milwaukee get around

Boston's game plan and let their shooters get off? Well Giannis just dunked them to death that's all. So they felt like

they had to address the dunking. And then once he was just everyone was collapsing on him and he was just you know just fucking destroying them

with paint. Here's the thing. The Bucks have sneaky shooters, man. Not even sneaky anymore? Yeah, but I guess- What's his name? Miritich? They have Miritich.

Ilya Sova. Brooke Lopez. Is Ilya Sova still there? Yeah. Yeah, he's still there. So what they have is they have big guys that can splash. They have Miritich, Ilya Soke lopez right middleton middleton it's like and they build the team really well they have the i think they led the league in

three pointers this year not the warriors not the rockets the fucking bucks led the league in three pointers this year so people don't know that they see yannis and the way he plays and they don't think that there's yeah they think only dunks like no they fucking splash they put the team together well you know that that guy is going to create massive attention you know there's no way to one-on-one guard them so you know there's going to be kickouts and you need guys who can knock down funny they're built like old calves teams used to be built yeah like they're built like that like absolutely they fucking they give the ball to yannis they say, you get to the hole, you drive or whatever, you do what you got to do. And now he's hitting threes, fucking forget about it.

And you got to see shooters. So you have a situation, right, where I'll be honest with you, I would empty the clip immediately. I think you start the series, and maybe this goes against conventional wisdom, but I start the series with Kawhi on Giannis Because I think you want to slow momentum down I think the Bucks are a momentum team Yeah once they get going It's hard to

It's over It's hard to turn that faucet off It's hard to like turn that faucet off Right so Why not Send Kawhi at them early Right and You send Kawhi at them

See if you can turn that false off, see if you can get the guys to at least limit what they're doing. I think Brooke Lopez, Marc Gasol is a wash, right? They're both guys who can get it from outside. Both guys are not going to kill you in the post, but they're kind of effective. Both big, thick motherfuckers. Yeah, and let them bang.

That's fine. But I think you go and turn it off. The one problem is, and Akash said this earlier, But I think you go and turn it off. The one problem is, and Akash said this earlier, is when Kawhi is going to be guarded by Giannis, you're going to have Kawhi limit scoring. It's going to limit scoring.

You're going to limit scoring. So who steps up? Who steps up? Lowry doesn't want it. He's found his game, but it's not going to be contributing with buckets. He's going to be defensive. He's going to get some offensive. Active. Straight offensive. Active. Straight activity.

Yeah. So the question is, is it Siakam? Is it Serge? Does Danny Green start to hit some threes again? Who on that team wants to go, I'm the second scorer. The only one with the ability is Siakam. Yeah. Danny Green holds, and he can knock down threes,

but he's not winning games. He's not going to get you like If Danny can get you 15 points in a game Like Serge playing over He's playing over his head Right now But he's not

Winning games for you Nobody wins games offensively Because of Serge It's gotta be Pascal And if they don't get that I don't think they win Honestly If it's not Pascal too

Like I I give a fucking shot To Marc Gasol That's what I was gonna say Slow the fucking game down Interesting Don't get that

That fucking Like you said They're a momentum team And shit like that Like Kawhi can work In the half court Fucking Kyle Lowry Like you get him settled down

And play the half court game And shit You get the ball to Marc Gasol And see if he can like Bully around Brook Lopez There it is Like spell me Get me like 15 points

If Marc Gasol Can give me 12 to 15 points You're happy You're good I want some big games From Marc If they're gonna win Like spell me, get me like 15 points. If Marcus Holt could give me 12 to 15 points. You're happy. You're good. I want some big games from Mark if they're going to win. But I also want, if the matchup is Middleton, Siakam. If.

Yeah. I want Siakam to bully Chris Middleton. Because I think that's how you take away his shooting. You go at him. That's how you take away all scorers. Right? You make them work on defense. Make them work. You're going at him, going at him, going at shooting. You go at him. That's how you take away all scorers. Right? You make them work on defense. Make them work. You're going at him, going at him, going at him.

Make him work. And then all of a sudden, it's the fourth quarter. You're like, fuck, I don't got the lift. You ain't getting that high of a jump shot no more. Yeah. That was very low. Low center of gravity. It's a very risky.

At first, I was like, I think the Raptors got this. I can't wait for this. Oh, oh. I can't wait for this. You know what it's going to be? It's going to be like, it's not going to be the most interesting series to the casual fan. No.

But if you like basketball. Oh, yeah. I mean. The last two teams, the last four teams left. If you are a basketball fan. This is it. Basketball is a dream. The fucking matchups that you want.

The four best teams in the NBA are left. We never saw Kobe LeBron in the finals. We wanted to see that matchup. Yep. Even though they didn't really matchup. We saw LeBron and KD, but KD had such a good squad behind him it didn't matter. This is the best matchup we've had one-on-one

for as long as I can remember. Aside from possibly the Western Conference right now. That's true. I've been thinking about these two dudes and how they would match up. I'm not even bullshitting years because the Spurs got Kawhi and the Mavs wanted Giannis, so I've been thinking about these two dudes and how they would match up. I'm not even bullshitting years because the Spurs got Kawhi and the Mavs wanted Giannis. So I've always kind of been fascinated by him.

And Kawhi, I just loved. I picked him to be MVP last year. And I thought, man, those two going head to head, I would love to see. For years, I thought that. And now we're going to see it. And it's going to be so fucking exciting. And they're just so built so different. Like there's nobody built like these two guys in the NBA.

They're built similarly. No one else on earth is built like them No one Like Kawhi's like a fucking Massive hands He's like a fucking tight end Great defender yeah That plays shooting guard

Yeah And Giannis is just like a fucking monster And like now he's learning to shoot threes and shit Like he's like a more bralic KD Yeah Like it's Oh boy Like if you're a hoops junkie

This is great This is fucking it right here There's a There's an interesting thing happening when I saw Kawhi go up against Ben Simmons. Anytime Ben Simmons was on Kawhi, did you guys pick up on this, that Kawhi just bully balled him? Bullied him. Bullied him. He didn't even try to finesse him with a move.

He literally gave him a pump fake, and then he got close to the rim, and it was a hard dribble, shoulder in his chest, move him out of the way, lay up every single time. And it was one of those things where I'm looking at Ben Simmons,

and I'm like, this might be the biggest waste of a six-foot, 10-inch body that exists in the NBAba because he is physically strong like when you look at ben simmons you don't look at him as like one of these he's not thon maker right this is a guy who's who looks diesel i call him baby braun like they have the same fucking body at the same age but bullied by kawaii yeah yeah it's man strength it is man strength k Kawhi kind of bullied

man Braun against the Heat. Yeah. Exactly. They won that series in five. Second year. When he got finals MVP so he gonna bully baby Braun

because he's only better than he was then. Yeah. It was like second year third year Kawhi like I think third year Kawhi. That was to me like Miami

to me Miami Braun is always gonna be peak Braun like at his like at the height of all his powers and shit. And Kawhi bullied him. Yeah.

Bullied him for a lot of games. Okay. From game three of that series, game three, four, five, it was like, what am I watching? Yeah. Because a lot of people didn't – I didn't really know who he was. I knew of him from San Diego State, but I didn't think he was like this. I mean, I kept hearing he was going to be great and going to be. And I was like, all right, let's see.

And I started seeing him step up. And then all of a sudden in the finals, he destroyed that team. Like he just took away Brown and they had nothing. Wade is on his last legs and nothing. I mean, it is, it is an exciting situation. I was, I was watching a Ben Simmons shoot a free throw and, uh, and he didn't laugh. And, uh, And I picked up on something. I think there's something structurally, not necessarily wrong, but there's something structurally true about the way his hand attaches to his arm that doesn't allow him to shoot a basketball well. I think his hands, because I was watching him shoot the free throw, right?

I think his hands because i was watching him shoot the free throw right i think his hands are slightly pronated meaning they they tilt out to the right a little bit so anatomically or to the left you just can't because i watched him right and my boy said he was like watching him in practice and shit too and whereas the you know three of us if we take our elbow and we stick it out right our hand lies underneath the ball right right so it's a natural shooting motion to follow through i think his and it's easier to see on the video but his hands are actually angled so when he locks his elbow it's the pinkies tilted up a bit all of a sudden he's tilted up right so i can believe it so how do you adjust for it

you stick your elbow out to flatten your hand. To give it the arc. And then this thumb becomes useless. So you end up just shooting fingertips, and that's why he has no touch. But what does work for him? This hook. Because when you're hooked, you're not bent back at an angle. Your hand is straight.

So you just hook up and i'm looking i'm like just seeing that i'm going he'll never be able to shoot a basketball no i think it's a simpler fix than that i think he's right-handed is this it okay i think he's right-handed and he don't know it maybe now watch watch him shoot the free are we gonna get one okay we're watching by the way anybody's listening right now we're watching the free throw. Look. Okay, look. But his right hand is perfectly fucking square. No, no, no. It's pronated, but on purpose. But watch his left.

Keep going. No, no. Keep going. Oh, God. Look at... Do you see what I'm talking about? Yeah. His wrist is flat.

I think I can see it. But the chicken wing is out. So look. If you took that chicken wing in, I think his hand would still be... I can see that. Yeah, if you tilt his elbow down, if you just bring it down, it still looks like... I can see that. You'd be shooting almost across your body or something.

Yeah, or to the right. So it's fine. Dude, there's an issue there, man. Anatomically, there's an issue. Ken, who got a good plastic surgeon, fixed that up, right? Who? Ken Handel. The weird thing about it is like I watched him in high school

and he used to shoot threes very confidently yeah and hit them I don't know I know he was hurting in LSU he got hurt for a little bit

I forgot what he got hurt yeah I would like to see footage of him in LSU if the release is just as ugly he didn't shoot that much in LSU either but in high school

he really shot them there's videos of old I've seen him in high school he really shot them. There's videos of old Ben Simmons. I've seen him in high school just throwing them up. And I think it's one of those things where it's like we'll just take the clips where he hits some threes. But I'm curious to know the form. I don't remember the form looking as ugly. Yeah, it wasn't that ugly. But there's something anatomically

wrong with it. I can definitely see that. For sure. I really truly believe he needs to... Also, after you were right about Marco Fultz's nerve, I'm just like, yeah, sure. What a random thing to be right about. So why am I going to question this? This is high school we're looking at? This is college.

Oh, okay. Yeah, this isn't. Okay. Okay. Let's see it. It looks more straight. It looks better. I mean, it's still bricks, but it does look better.

Okay, so we're excited about this series. I got another thing about, I want to touch Philly before we move on to the next series. I think this is the best thing to happen to the Sixers and Joel Embiid specifically. You think he's finally going to stop eating like a fucking child? Yo, that motherfucker needs to become a vegan or some shit. He needs to lose some fucking weight. Because I love that he's- Jazz is already pushing his veganism out there.

That motherfucker ain't ate meat in three weeks. No, I mean like get a plant-based diet or some shit. The balls you got. Hey, fuck it, man. The balls you got, man. I'm a month today, baby. I feel good. To come here from Africa, all the starving people in Africa are going to come here and

be like, I'm not eating certain foods. I'm eating garden burgers now, bitch. All it takes. All these starving people in Africa would die to eat a nice slab of meat, a nice slab of pork. Let me tell you, I slipped up on Saturday. My man's skin is kind of glowing. You see it, right?

Oh, that's why you're glowing, because you ate meat on Saturday. This is happiness. Bro, I slipped up it had some fucking ribs oh my girl and that might stomach immediately was like no like how do you slip up yeah what happened chicken in a matzo ball soup I'll rip you have to grab the bone oh youitan I didn't know it wasn't real meat nah it wasn't actually is there a blacker way to cheat on veganism

than a fucking ribs nah cause I was eating with her and like she was like eating like all types of pork and shit

I was like oh man that really looks good and then later today I was like fuck it I'm gonna get some ribs

and then my body like it didn't sit there for like 10 minutes I went straight to the bath and whatever really yeah so I mean

long story short like I think this is the best thing to happen to the Sixers and Embiid because one, there's a lot of people saying they don't like the duo of Simmons and Embiid. Those skill sets don't really complement each other that well. Not at all. One of them has skills and the other one doesn't.

It's really that simple. That team is a much different team if they have a point guard who can shoot the ball and spread the ball out. But in any case, Embi MB needs to lose some weight. Needs to take his health more seriously. I've heard he's like a child. Yeah. And I can see that.

I can see that. That's a popular thing amongst ballplayers on the league. Yeah. Candy obsessed. They play ball all the time. They just want the sugar. They go and play a game and it's like it's out of their system. Also, a lot of these guys, they're not coming from places where your parents are saying,

we're going to eat whole grain foods and vegan diets. We're talking about kids who grow up poor. Your other meat is African, though. Like your parents. You got to understand, he picked the basketball like really late. 19, right? I was 19. Like I think it was, gosh, I think like the middle of high school.

He started playing basketball for the first time. And then he went to Mount Verde. And then he went to Kansas. Then he was out of here. Okay, but let's talk about how ugly he is when he's crying. Because that shit was... Can we pull up that clip? Oh my God, dude. His lip does this weird thing.

It's just so weird. Oh God. Before we pull up the crying, we don't, you know... Pull it up. We get it. No, no, pull it up immediately. Worked hard. I don't want the disclaimer.

If you... Before we... you stay right there don't even press play yet what is that wow you know what he looks like we bay he looks he looks like that looks like it was the first time he's cried we made like he doesn't know how to cry like i don't think he knows how he looks when he cries um Yeah, he definitely doesn't know how he looks. Like, is this what my face is supposed to do? He can never make fun of anybody again. This is a meme now. And anytime he talks shit to anybody on Twitter, Instagram,

this will be brought up and reposted and responded and gift to death. I wouldn't test it, though. Can we play it? I wouldn't test it, though. MB's got a serious clapback game. I feel like he'll come back to something. Look at this.

You can tell Marc Gasol said something real touching to him. He said, stop crying like a little bitch. Like you just lost. Woo! Woo!

The lip quiver right there. Oh man, that's disgusting. He looked like he got, what's that when half your face is paralyzed? Stroke? Oh man.

Yeah, stroke with a cerebral palsy. With a Bell's palsy. Cerebral palsy, yeah, Bell's palsy. He got that Jim Ross. WWE reference for y'all. Oh, man.

That's very layered. Is this the new Crying Jordan? Gotta be. It should be. Crying in bead meme. Because he wasn't crying at first. Marc Gasol whispered some really probably touching shit. His white girl. Why is she Latina? Because he wasn't crying at first like Marc Gasol whispered some like really like probably touch his white girls

Lucky got a white girl some black girl be like, but you don't stop crying over a basketball game you dumb motherfucker She's why I saw her at all. I've made America this year them together. Oh really? Oh, yeah, she's why the shit She's got body Let's bring her Oh, is that a Latin look white? She look she look like a Bad joy. Let's bring her up. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, is that a Latin? She don't look white. She look like a Latin.

I told you. Oh, and the Paula. Yeah, that's my fault. What is her name? Wait, Olivia Pearson? And the Paula. Oh, the Paula, yeah. Oh, no, that could be some Eastern European shit.

Who knows? No, that could be Italian or it could be Latina. The Paula. The Paula. Yeah, she's bad. She's bad Yeah she's super bad Welcome to America bro

Yeah She got a cowboy hat on She's for sure right Look at that shit Latinas put up With that crying shit They're emotional Yeah they're emotional

Latin dudes are emotional Y'all get emotional Ed and you cry Be honest Be honest You cry Latin dudes cry I'm drunk

Oh really You're a happy drunk Like I'll get emotional I'll get like really happy That I'm with my friends I'm drunk Oh really You're a happy drunk Like I'll get emotional I'll get like really happy That I'm with my friends I'm like I love you guys Yeah yeah That's some Lachino shit

Y'all got all the emotions bro Do you have like a go to Like a drunk crying song With your friends Like oh man I love these guys No but if I go in like Three triple whiskeys

Yeah That's where That's nine whiskeys bro I was about to say like I was about three triple whiskeys, so like nine shots of whiskey. You're dead. Damn. Damn, son.

Jesus Christ. You were right at home. Is everything okay at home? Are you good? Next time the episode's fucked up, we know why. Jesus. All right. All right.

Let's stop objectifying This girl man I think Embiid's Gonna come back He needed this moment He needed this moment To know how hard He has to work

To get to that next level And I feel like A lot of stars Bitch can you do that With me in private Bitch there's a bunch Of cameras around Why is he crying

In front of her though That shit is so crazy She's a sports illustrator She's like I'm about to get my shot Hold on It's not even on her But she gotta do Exactly what she gotta do But do this in private That shit in front of her, though. That shit is so crazy. She's a sports illustrator, man. She's like, oh, I'm about to get my shot, too. Hold on. It's not even on her.

But she got to do exactly what she got to do, but do this in private, bro. That's what I'm saying. You can't get her a badge? You know what it is? He don't want her in the locker room seeing them long dick. Jimmy Bucket's got the unit, bro. Jimmy Bucket's got a piece. He's like, stay your ass outside here before you see the truth.

Come on, bro. Jimmy Bucket's got that Jimmy. He earned that name. peace he's like now stay stay your ass outside here before you see the truth come on bro jimmy buck has got that jimmy he got that name he he now he got a james you see the press conference where like uh brett brown was like man he played like james today and then they asked jimmy butler what he thought about that he goes no my name is literally jimmy not short for anything. I was born and they called me Jimmy. Like, I have a friend named Jeff and everyone, like, calls him Jeffrey. Like, that's something.

No, like, it says Jeff on my birth certificate. The best thing about Kawhi is he's never let Drake in. I love it. Like, him and Drake ain't homies. I love it. That's what gives me hope for free agency. I'm like, I don't know, Drake. I wouldn't, you know.

He's just too whack. What's he going to go clubbing with Drake for what? What do they have in common? Mind you, he used to be a Jordan athlete. He's the anti-Drake. Now he's on New Balance. He wears straight back braids. You know Drake gets PTSD when he sees straight back braids.

And on top of that, he just doesn't see. I remember I interviewed him For All Star Weekend And we were just doing this thing On like playlists and shit And he was like You know I listen to Jay-Z

And stuff like Kawhi Kawhi yeah Kawhi gave it up for God You heard that Yeah That was dope Yeah

Kawhi was like I pray every single day You know what I mean He had a big ass cross on his arm Say what He had a big cross on his arm Probably not the first guy With a cross that Maybe shouting out God You know what? He had a big cross on his arm. He's probably not the first guy with a cross that...

Maybe shouting out God, you know what I mean? Yeah, I guess, you know. But apparently... A lot of rappers talking about murder got Jesus pieces. You know what I mean? Poor Jesus, just sitting there like this motherfucker. Don't listen for him. They think God needs company.

Do you think Jesus is up there? Do you think Jesus is up there? Do you think Jesus is up there? Hey, it's empty up there, bro. I got you. I'm going to start shooting. Do you think Jesus is up there when rappers murder people and he's like, I did this for Jesus Christ? And Jesus is like, come on, guy.

Relax, bro. I don't know what Jesus is up to, man. Probably listen to this podcast. Yeah, it's God's favorite podcast. Shout out to you. That's our new slogan's God's favorite podcast. Shout out to you. That's our new slogan. God's favorite podcast. Shout out to God, bro.

Real talk. Hey, flagrant to God's favorite podcast. That's what's up, man. Honestly, if God and Jesus- That's what's up. We are God's favorite podcast. I'm into it. I'm into it.

We're his people. God and Jesus kicked it with sinners and whores and wild motherfuckers. We're his type of people. Technically, yeah. Misfits. God love the misfits, bro. That's why we out here. Trying to fix us.

He don't need to spend time with the fixed people. He was a man of the people. They're good. We're a podcast of the people. You know what I mean? We out here. It works. And we're really just saying God, so you just insert yours.

Yeah. You know what I mean? If it's not Jesus, then we're your God's God. No, no, we're your God's people. Then you're Enos Cantor. Yo, can we talk about, I think we're really overestimating how much Ramadan affects your play. Because, like, real talk, I want to have, like, a press conference where it's like, Ramadan? We talking about Ramadan?

Ramadan? Like, are we really talking about ramadan right now because it seems like every guy who plays during ramadan plays well this was a daytime game though so that's crazy no fucking water during the game yeah but this game was like noon here's the thing though but he's from the desert they They're built that way. It's like when you see a camel walking and you're like, he hasn't drank in two days. He's like, he's not supposed to. He's a camel. You just called him a camel? What?

You just called him a camel. No, I'm saying if you see a camel. He's a canter jockey. What I'm saying is like, look, if an Irish guy is out there playing with no water, you're like, oh, fuck, this is a big deal. These guys need water all the time. They're used to water. They're on an island. But if you're from the desert, right, I imagine you're built to operate without some fucking, what is it?

Without some water. While I'm saying this, I'm questioning whether Turkey is the desert. I was wondering that. I have no clue whether there's sand in Turkey whatsoever, and I'm starting to feel like there's no sand in Turkey. I was wondering that because I know Istanbul is cracking. It's not like a desert. Damn it.

All right, so maybe it's impressive. But they always make it a story with players that are already good. I refuse to believe that Hakeem Olajuwon and Enos Kanter are only two Muslim players who played during Ramadan.

They never make a mention of like... Al-Faruq Aminu. Is anybody talking to him? I guess not because he's already trash. Do you know about Al-Faruq Aminu? I do, but was he fasting?

Do we know if he's fasting? Not every Muslim fasts. Fake-ass Muslim. He might be. Are you fasting? You know what? I'm Fake-ass Muslim. He might be. Are you fasting? I'm eating extra when the sun is up. Hey, look, I got two waters here.

The sun is up. I don't even eat pork. I said, fuck it. From Islam. I refuse to watch Rami for the past two months or whatever the fuck. Jesus Christ.

All right. So apparently not. And I'll be honest with you. The watershed might be real. I did one day of Ramadan last year. Yeah. And by the end of the day, right before we broke the fast, little milk and dates, the way Muhammad did it.

Muhammad. Muhammad. Right. I felt really light on my feet. I felt energized. I felt like I could go. I wasn't weighed down from all these foods that probably are filled with nonsense and are really difficult to digest. I think there might be something to limiting your diet during game days.

And maybe, much like we limit practice during the season, you'll see other players limit what their intake is during a game day. You streamline. You get the shit that you just need to get by. Best diet apparently was Steve Nash. Which was? Like no sugar, no nut, like super strict, super disciplined.

And that guy operated at a very high level at a very old age. Steve Nash was a machine. People don't give him his fucking credit. and super strict, super disciplined. And that guy operated at a very high level at a very old age. Steve Nash was a machine. People don't give him his fucking credit. Before every game, he had the same exact fucking routine. He would go to the practice facility,

let his wife get fucked by his teammate. Oh, God. I knew that's where he was going immediately. You just didn't know how I was going to get there. While he was stretching out, his wife was getting stretched out. It was a beautiful relationship that they had. Hey, sometimes it works, bro.

Hey, it's two MVPs. You got to do what you can, man. Dude. But good for him. You think he would have been able to be MVP if somebody wasn't fucking his wife? Maybe he asked. He's like, man, I need some time. He got to focus on the game.

Yeah. Listen, people find motivation in very strange ways. Real talk. Maybe he needed to be cucked. Can we acknowledge something? Aisha's just trying to get Stefan on BP. He's the third one, though. We're going to have to talk about that, too, because we haven't spoken about that.

When we get into the Warrior Series, we'll talk about it. But there's something that I need to bring up that bothers me. Have you seen the eugenics commercial starring Frank Thomas? Okay. Who pitched this commercial? Because it's basically white wives telling their husbands that they ain't shit in front of Frank Thomas. They're just blatantly hitting on Frank Thomas right in front of their husbands. I was about to say.

Yeah, he looks diabetic. He's just fat. He looks like Charles Barkley I don't even know If he's in good shape Dude me neither Me neither Probably has a cyst

Under his neck We can't even see Bro But he's got great teeth Amazing smile Million dollar smile That's true But it is so uncomfortable

Watching these commercials man Don't play it Because I don't want The audio to get flagged But every single one Is like oh my god Frank You look so amazing Yeah

Like my energy's way up It looks like it And then this poor Cucked out husband Named Dave Is like But every single one, she's like, oh my God, Frank, you look so amazing. My energy's way up. It looks like it. And then this poor cucked out husband named Dave is like, what can I do to get energy like that? Would you like to fuck Rebecca while I watch? Is that a possibility? Look at this poor guy. He's just got to sit there. But you got to realize, this is how, and I love to, I'm going to pull some race in there

anytime I get a chance to. Jesus Christ. This is how you sell anything. Holy Christ. This is how you sell anything. Holy shit. This is how you sell anything, though. Like, you sell insecure... This is how you sell insecure white men on anything. Put a big black guy on it.

Like, oh, man. Frank Thomas looks fat. I'm not going to lie. He looks pretty good. He looks fat. He looks like Alonzo Bowden. How old do they think Frank Thomas is, though? He looks like George Foreman.

George Foreman's all right. That's his dark skin, George Foreman. How old do they think he is, though?? He looks like George Foreman. George Foreman's all right. That's his dark skin, George Foreman. How old do they think he is, though? Nah, he looks great. He looks incredible. What is he, 50-something? He looks unbelievable. I take that back.

But look at this guy. What is that politician that showed his dick? Anthony Weiner. Look at Anthony Weiner. What an unfortunately named guy. Frank Thomas is 50 years old. 50 years old? Oh, 50 is great.

He needs to look better. Good skin. For a black 50, he doesn't look that good. That's what I'm saying. Terry Crews is probably 50. How old is Terry Crews? I think he's got to be 50 plus. Dude, this is so embarrassing.

If my girl ever talked to a guy like this in front of me, then it would be a problem. It would be a problem. Terry Crews is also 50. No shit. Terry Crews looks great. Terry Crews is a good 50. Actually, yeah. Yeah, yeah.

Terry Crews looks younger than Frank Thomas does. Is that his girl? No. Like in life? No, no, no. Girlfriend. It is some porno set up shit. This is definitely a screenshot of a British movie.

He got big dick energy. It makes me uncomfortable every single time I see this commercial. And I just, this commercial and I just I just I just it bothers me man it fucking bothers me and it's fucked up

how these white women are like yeah can't you be built like a former fucking all-star in baseball that was wrong

yeah it's probably the guy that's probably a fucking accountant or some shit it's like yeah why don't you build

like Frank Thomas at 50 years old what the fuck? Yes, bitch. Anyway, back to basketball. What were we talking about? Let's go to the West. Oh, before we go to the West, I think we got to pay some bills. Okay.

Guys, it's 2019. Everyone needs a great pair of wireless earbuds. But before you go dropping hundreds of dollars on a pair, you need to check out the wireless earbuds from Raycon. Yes, that's right, Raycon. You know Ray J? You definitely know one of his conquests. Absolutely.

Okay? Raycon earbuds start at about half the price of any other premium wireless earbud on the market, and they sound just amazing. The company was actually co-founded by Ray J. Support black business. Damn right. And celebrities like Snoop Dogg are already obsessed.

Raycon's E50 wireless earbuds have totally changed the game for me personally because I did get a pair. Shouts to Ray J. Ray J. Ray J. Ray J sent me a pair of earbuds. I was about to drop $179 at the Best Buy kiosk in LaGuardia Airport. Do you guys know those little things?

Those are genius. Yeah. We talked about that. Uniqlo and Best Buy. That was brilliant. Yeah. Absolutely brilliant. So you realize that Best Buy is a waste of space.

Yeah. Because you only want fucking earphones. Yeah. This is the only way they can compete with Amazon. Yeah. Why is Best Buy the size of Costco? I want two items. Because back in the day, you needed all that shit.

Right. Now you don't need anything. TVs maybe. Doesn't matter. Point being, these E50s, right? Wireless earbuds have totally changed the game. All right. Very good earbud.

They actually fit my ears better than the AirPod. Because the AirPod, for me, they fall out. Maybe I have big ear holes or something like that. But when I see people running with the AirPods. Every earbud I've ever had falls out. I don't know what's wrong with the design of my ears. But if the Ray J stays in, I'll cop that. Yo, I'm telling you. The Ray J stays in, I'll cop that. Yo, I'm telling you.

The Ray J stays in, all right. The Ray J is a perfect fit. And if you want Ray inside of you, I mean, let's be honest. Let's be honest. When Ray is inside of you, good things happen, okay? That's true.

History has shown. They are stylish. Mystery is shown. They are stylish. They are discreet. There are no dangling wires, no stems, nothing. Raycon offers the wireless earbuds for everyone in a range of fun colors and unbeatable price. Go to Raycon. Sorry. Go to buyraycon.com slash flagrant to get 20% off your order.

to buyraycon.com slash flagrant to get 20% off your order. That's buyraycon.com slash flagrant for 20% off Raycon wireless earbuds. Remember, that's B-U-Y-R-A-Y-C-O-N dot, excuse me, dot com. And if you've been eyeing a pair, now is the time to get an amazing deal. One more time, that's buyraycon.com slash flagrant. They're good. Oh, I like it. Good. And this is something that's buyraycon.com slash flagrant. They're good. Oh, I like it. And this is something that was important to me. They had this part that fits

inside of your ear, and unlike the AirPods that just kind of sit there and dangle, and they're like, you know, they're just hope. It's just hope. This sticks in your ear, and then there's a part that kind of pushes against a part of your ear

So it's kind of locked there Like I would feel Way more comfortable Working out or exercising these So yeah Go to the buyraycon.com And get yourself some Support black business baby

Support black business Yes sir That's what we do Support black business Support black business Support black business West Coast Akash

The West Coast Playoff games did you witness any of them i did i saw both games on replay unfortunately and i already knew the results and thoughts let's start with wait before we get to blazers nuggets i don't think we spoke on uh the death of the rockets no well that's part of west coast, I thought you were talking about both games yesterday. Oh, no, no, no. Go to the general, West Coast. We were going to talk about the general, West Coast. The Rockets, I don't know how.

I think they're done. I think they're done forever. I don't know what they did. I think so, too. What else? What are you thinking? I think the worst signing, Daryl Morey gets all this credit. And this is the tough thing about being GM.

One bad contract can fuck you. I don't know how you navigate Chris Paul's Supermax contract. I said letting Trevor Ariza go is stupid. I think wing defenders and wings are good, not only for the Warriors, but opening up the middle for Clint Capella if you've got a stretch 3 and D guy.

And I don't know what you do. Chris Paul, if you didn't want to spend $10 million a year for Trevor Ariza for three years, you're going to spend $40 million a year for four years for Chris Paul? That luxury tax comes up to like $10 million a year for Trevor Ariza for three years. You're going to spend $40 million a year for four years for Chris Paul? That luxury tax comes up to like $100 million a year. They went into the luxury tax to get Chris Paul? I think they did. Okay, so here's my question.

We have a guy named Chris Paul who has long been looked at as the premier point guard in the NBA. Many people would say the best point guard of our generation in the NBA, yet he's never managed to translate that skill into winning at the elite level. Do we start to rewrite the narrative on Chris Paul as a player? I've been said this. I've been said this time to have this combo.

Like, for all the shit Mello gets, I don't know why Chris Paul doesn't get the same shit. You know what I mean? Like, they came in at around the same time. Yeah. They've had,

unless, except for those Knicks years, obviously, because they sucked. He's never went to the finals. He's never even to a Western Conference. I have seen heroic, and I'm still giving him shit, but I have seen heroic Chris Paul games in the playoffs.

Last year, he was a fucking hero. And then his body betrayed him. That's what normally happens. Against the Spurs, in the first round, they went seven. I think he pulled his hamstring and still had, I think, the game-winning shot. Crazy game seven on a pulled hammy. He got hurt. His body just breaks down. And we're going to have to rewrite the narrative at some point

because also other point guards' bodies don't break down, and you're shorter and slower than Steph. To that point, being able to play is a skill. The best ability is availability. I knew you were going to say it. Who said that? I always hear that. Some guy on the ticket always says that.

I think he took that from someone else. It's a great take. The best ability is availability. You quoted that. 1984. When your parents looked at you and they're like, it's okay. He made it.

He got you. And look at him like, Victor, the best ability is availability. You're here. Well, he's here. If there's one sentence that summarizes my entire life, that's probably it. Always here first at all times and shit.

He gets it. He fucking gets it. You've carved a nice career for yourself out of availability. Out of availability. For real. It is true. So we go, and Kaz, I want to get your take on this. We go into a situation with Chris Paul.

Let's not take away from the fact that he played good. He played good. 27 points in a closeout game. He played well. But I want to see where we go from here with this because they didn't lose to the KD Warriors. They lost to the OG, the Warriors Classic, like I call them. The Warriors Classic.

Warriors Classic. Draymond, Klay, Steph, Iggy. Took them out. God, did Iggy play well. Yeah. Nobody's talking about this. Him and, like, Rodney Hood are, like, the two, like, you guys are really good. And then he went to teams that were, like, really stacked. And they were like, oh, they're not that great. And now they're like, oh, yeah like you guys are really good and then he went to teams that were like really

stacked and they were like oh they're not that great and now they go like oh yeah these guys are really fucking good now the reason I say he played well is because they schemed to make Iggy beat them and he did and he did they left him open

right they followed Steph on the double team or they would follow Clay on a double team and when you do that you leave one guy open they're like we're gonna leave Iggy open I don't think he'll be able to make those threes and he made him and he made him he was he was the key he hit him okay so so what is the narrative on Chris Paul where do we go forward with this how do we feel about him I think he's one of the greatest point guards of all time I think he's a legend um I think he's in a shit contract because he's he's not getting any younger yeah he's one of the greatest point guards of all time. I think he's a legend. I think he's in a shit contract because he's not getting any younger. He's going to only make more money.

And everyone else, and it's not so much about the Rockets. It's about the entire Western Conference, how everyone else is going to be better than them next year. Like I don't see them being better than the Blazers next year. I don't see them being better than the Nuggets next year. I don't see them being better than the Blazers next year. I don't see them being better than the Nuggets next year. I don't see them being better than the Thunder. Yeah. The Lakers will probably be back.

They'll get somebody. The Clippers are going to get somebody. They'll be back. You have to either. The Spurs will be back. You have to trade for somebody. And I don't know who's going to trade for your pieces. Or you got to trade a shitty contract and then create cap room to get a Jimmy Butler,

Kawhi, Kawhi not going there. So I want to get to that next, which is like what the Rockets can do if they can do anything. Before we get there, I just want to speak on Chris for a second. I want to trash Chris so much because I hate him as a player. He's my least favorite player. I just despise watching him. I hate all his little cheap flops it's like everything that i hate about james harden every time he when he when he flails yeah

so the nice thing about james harden is he only flails and flops when he's shooting right chris paul will do that as his the guy he's defending is just cutting to the basket without the ball right he's a constant James Harden flail flop

he is a fish on the deck of a boat right and it is so annoying to watch him do this just nonsense after nonsense and I get it

that he's doing it because he wants to win so bad and he's mad little and slow now and old now right it's easier when you're younger when he's that he's doing it because he wants to win so bad. And he's mad little and slow now and old now. It's easier when you're younger. When he's young, he's like, wow, what a smart, heady player. What a smart defender.

Look at him baiting these guys. When he's older, it's like, dude, what the fuck? He bought 5'9". They list him as 6. He ain't no fucking 6. And he's such an effective 5'9". And don't get me wrong. He's a wildly competitive player.

I'm trying to be objective. I'm trying to be objective about someone who I truly despise watching. I would even go so far to say that Chris Paul is going to be the type of guy whose grandkids hate him. Oh, my God. Why? For what? And I guess he could be a totally different person off the court than he is on the court. I doubt it.

But he's the type of guy who no one enjoys playing with him. But he's so good that you put up with it. You tolerate. Yeah, you tolerate Chris. You don't enjoy it. You tolerate because he adds so much, right? And eventually what happens with those guys is they stop providing. And your tolerance goes way down it's like if you're you

know a side chick for some rich dude and then he loses all his money all of a sudden it's like why am i with this 80 year old guy what the fuck is going on here and i think that that might be the type of dude chris is i think that chris might be that annoying competitive like he's a bowler like you take bowling seriously when you're already a professional basketball player like you just can't let go of a ball at any point in time and say do you do you really want to bowl with Chris Paul no after playing basketball with him for a season. Like him, he can't call for the screen like this. He's got to go. Like his whole body's got to move when he's, you know,

bullying you into giving him a screen. And I think you're going to see a situation similar to Kareem Abdul-Jabbar where such a skilled player and then after he no longer can offer skill, you're going to see a lot of people turn on him. Now, don't get me wrong. Great man. Incredibly philanthropic. That's the difference between Kareem and Chris Paul.

People like Kareem the man. He treated media people like shit. Right. A lot of people probably didn't like playing with him. Right. But as a man, he's very well respected. Right. And it might be the same thing with Chris Paul.

He's the president of the MBPA and shit. So maybe there's a respect factor there. Outside of his basketball, what he's done community-wise, the guy gives back a lot and he puts his time in. I 100% respect that. 100%. I just know that the second that skill level decreases, you're not going to have someone yell at you like that on the bench. You've seen those moments where Harden, he's yelling to Harden, Harden'm like, fuck this guy. You're not going to have someone yell at you like that on the bench.

You've seen those moments where Harden, he's yelling to Harden, Harden's like, fuck out of here, swipes away. That's him doing that to someone that he respects. Yeah. And the fucked up way kind of reminds me of Carmelo. Once the skill level left, teams were like, I ain't fucking dealing with this demon shit. And I love me some Melo, but we saw people just, they were like, I ain't fucking dealing with this demon shit. And I love me some Mello, but like, we

saw like, people just, they put up with a lot of his bullshit, because he was supremely talented at one point, and then when they didn't have to, they didn't want to. Yeah, I get it. And he's getting $40 million a year. He's got the new Mello contract, matter of fact.

That's the worst signing of the last 10 years. But at least you could trade Chris Paul. He doesn't have a no trade clause. Okay, Mellow's still worse. Mellow's still the worst. I think Chris Paul's no trade clause is the $40 million. That's what makes it worse to me.

That's what makes it the worst contract because nobody's going to want that. You know who I would take? If I'm an organically tanking team team I'd say I'll give you 40 million in contracts Give me five first round picks I'll take Chris Paul And then that comes off the books

In like two years Two years Three years And now I got cap space I'm going to be bad Because Chris Paul Can't carry a team by himself Isn't there a rule that says

You can't Give like Consecutive years You can do every other year So the next 10 years So I mean that's a really interesting That is a really interesting like consecutive years you can do every other year so the next 10 years I get so I mean that's a really interesting

that is a really interesting trade potential because it is all about get rid of fucking Chris Paul and if you're

like if I'm an organically tanking team and I look at a team like the Rockets that's the most desperate team out there because they're so close but they know

they fucked up and they got this is their window it is closing here i can give you a couple years on your window but if i take chris paul i'll give you a couple more years in your window if you sign jimmy butler and i take chris paul now look at you here you go just give me five sacrifice your future for your window but i think first round draft picks i'll take this contract i'll give you some whatever short-term deals i got maybe even one or two of them can contribute do your thing i think it's a great idea i think that i think it's a great idea and we should have a discussion about the future of the rockets um before we leave the chris paul scenario i just want to point out that there are

story leaked yeah um where apparently uh steph curry wanted to shoot around at the rockets facility and then chris paul found out about it and he said you can't do that here now my initial reaction was typical chris paul what a fucking douchebag annoying and i spoke to some folks in the league apparently this is wildly common yeah of course like what i mean of course jimmy butler did it to the raptors of course yeah so there are certain guys in the rapids i guess they want to shoot around and butler was like we're not having it and apparently this is gamesmanship this is not chris paul being the game outside the game floppy guy this is strictly i was wondering why you hadn't brought it up yet i wanted to bring it as cutting the AC on too high or too low.

Same thing as sending old pizza to Michael Jordan's room and he gets the fucking flu or stomach bug. It's the game outside the game. Well, that's poison. That's crazy. Is it poison? That's poisoning somebody. That's nuts.

That's the second theory I heard. You can't shoot free throws? It's a little different thing. Here's poison. That's the second theory I heard shoot free throws it's a little different here's poison if you're Michael Jordan you're in the league 15 years why are you having pizza

delivered to Michael Jordan I don't know about pizza but like that's the second theory pizza haven't delivered to Michael Jordan nobody will fuck with it I think there was

like a rogue delivery guy that was like oh this is going to Michael Jordan's room oh well we've also heard hungover we've also heard all kinds of shit those are the theories delivery guy. I was like, oh, this is going to Michael Jordan's room? Oh, well. We've also heard hungover. We've also heard all kinds of shit. Yeah, those are the theories. That's what I thought it was.

But essentially, this is quite a common thing in the league. So I'm not going to trash Chris anymore. I was ready to fucking lay into him in this episode because of it. But I feel that if it's something every team does

I gotta give him the pass Steph made him pay though Steph made them fucking pay and now it's the game he needed for us to get off his ass so do we jump right to Steph or do you want to talk about

what the Rockets can do to potentially win? Or what can they do? Is there anything they can do? What can they add? I said the only thing I think they can do is try to get rid of that contract. I think they're strapped. I think they're handicapped, man. That's $200 million in your backcourt alone.

And Clint Capella, he's a valuable player, but he's only valuable in that system. Running, dumping, jumping, dunking, all that shit. Getting blocks and shit. Like, they are handcuffed. Unless they're ready to blow this shit up

which I don't think they do. I think they're going to sign everybody back up. They're going to try and give it another shot next year. They're going to probably go out in the second round

again next year. And then that's going to be Harden's legacy. That's what made not re-signing Ariza so weird. Sorry, last point. You are,

everything is right now. But I don't want to pay the luxury tax for a valuable person. Last year when we played the Warriors, him and P.J. Tucker were equally valuable. And they were like, well, let one of them go. We don't want to pay the luxury tax. Here, Chris Paul, here's $40 million a year. I just couldn't understand why you wouldn't pay an extra $10. I'm with you on that. My suggestion for the Rockets, just wait.

I think the Warriors are going to get blown up. And if the Warriors get blown up, I feel very confident that you'll be coming out of the West. You think so? I think that the Rockets have a more bright future than many people seem. We know KD is leaving, or at least feel very confident KD is leaving. There's a chance Klay could leave as well. There's a chance Draymond could leave. There's a chance maybe Draymond could leave.

Things could move around there. Draymond has to leave at the end of next year, right? I think so, yeah. Also, Iggy's getting old. Yeah, I've been waiting on that. Iggy's getting old. And another quiet thing people aren't realizing, Draymond's signed to Clutch Sports now. Clutch, they get their fucking money.

So if the Warriors don't give him the max, he's going to get the max. Somebody's going to get it. And it is an interesting thing where, yes, it's sad to be a Rockets fan right now, but next year you could be the frontrunner. If the Warriors don't give Klay a super max, he might leave.

Yeah, and I wouldn't blame him for it. All right, let's let's let's let's move on let's talk about let's talk about steph big dick steph big dick steph doing big dick stuff things he's back this guy had a fucking back uh a troubled uh week obviously coming to the um defend his wife after she said some questionable things on the red table talks. And he came back and he went, I think, 0 for 9 or something in the first half. Zero points in the first half. Zero points. Zero rebounds.

Zero assists. And I tweeted a picture and I posted a picture of Instagram and I was like, just damn it, Aisha, or something like that. You've got to get rid of Aisha. Then he comes back And scores 31 In the second half And hits two massive Threes

Sorry 33 Jesus' number Shouts to the God He put up 33 bro Stepped on their Fucking neck In the fourth quarter Massive

Like he's supposed to do He did the Steph things That we were used To him doing right He did the Steph things That we were used to him doing Before KD And we had said on this podcast before That the Warriors are way more exciting without KD It's not that it's too easy It's just a more boring type of basketball

We got that exciting basketball back Seeing Steph Launch those step to the side threes Seeing Steph shoot off the dribble with someone right in his face. Shaking motherfuckers. Shaking, going to the basket. Motherfuckers got to go back and guard him at 40 feet. Now he's baking.

There was one of those times where you're like, man, this guy truly is an unselfish player because he could do this every night on his own team and he has chosen to step back and allow KD to be the first option on his team and he got some rings because of it

but it was one of those moments where I was like wow this man is on a different level of no ego that's true. D. Wade, I'm trying to pull up the tweet right now because Dwayne Wade, and this is the best thing about these great players not being in the playoffs right now because you can see them live reacting to these games.

And he had such a fantastic fucking tweet about it, and I want to find it. God damn it. Look for it. Look for it. Y'all better stop disrespecting Steph Curry. Just because he's a team first guy and is willing to sacrifice in moments

doesn't mean he's not still a beast. Boom, right there. Absolute beast. And Hoopers get it. Hoopers fucking get it, bro. Dwyane Wade of all people. He is the number one. If there's anybody more qualified

I feel like Dwyane Wade said that about himself. Yeah. If there's anybody more qualified to talk about people sacrificing for somebody who's like an otherworldly talent. I mean, let's think about it. Dwayne Wade got a ring by himself and then invited two other superstars to his team that

he knew were going to get some of the credit. Most of the credit. Most of the credit. And that's really what Steph did. And then told LeBron after year one, yo, you got to be the alpha. You have to take it. That's how we win. Just share the ball thing and Morgan.

So what are we thinking? Do we think that... I think Steph's back. I think Steph is back. When is KD back? That's the question. If KD's out the rest of the playoffs, I still don't think they win the championship. I think what they said is he will be out this series against Portland, but he can be back

for the finals. I think that's what they said. They said he's doubtful for... Well, he's not playing this game, but he's doubtful for game two. That's what they said. They said he's doubtful for, well, he's not playing this game, but he's doubtful for game two. That's what they said. Oh, he could come back this series? It's possible. But they said they're going to reevaluate it from next week. They're being very vague.

And that makes me think he might be out longer. But maybe not. But he wants them to prepare for potential KD. I think the Blazers aren't dumb enough to not think that they're not going to get KD eventually in the series. I'm not sure they win this series without KD. Yeah. And I think the Blazers aren't dumb enough to not think that they're not going to get KD eventually in the series. I'm not sure they win

this series without KD. And maybe I'm crazy, but they have limited depth. Look at Steph's minutes. 43, 44, then 34 in game six. That's a lot of minutes.

And without KD, it only stands to increase. Dame had a four overtime game in a seven game series, but the rest of his games, 36 minutes minutes 29 minutes 34 minutes 45 in game seven

But uh Blazers got depth though They got depth Seth Curry could spell you For a couple games And you just run The game plan on Steph Is you switch every screen

On to him Yeah And every matchup Is on Steph Make him play D Make him run through screens Wear him out And then Klay and CJ

Is not a wash, but Klay can use a lot of energy guarding CJ too. Not going to hold you right now. If it's Klay versus CJ, I'm taking CJ, bro. I'm taking CJ right now, bro. As a bucket, I'm taking CJ right now. He took over that game

seven. But he wasn't playing against Klay. He was playing against Jamal Murray, who's probably playing better than Klay right now. He's being guarded by Torrey Craig, who's a good defender. Yeah, but he's not playing against Klay. He was playing against Jamal Murray, who's probably playing better than Klay right now. No, not defensively. He's being guarded by Torrey Craig, who's a good defender. Yeah, but he's not Klay-level defense. But I want to talk about the Trailblazers because I feel like the Trailblazers have always been miles into the Spider-Verse. Have you guys seen them? Miles Morales.

Miles Morales. The multiverse warriors. Right? Real talk where it's like We're like Here's this kid Who has all this potential They have all these gifts Here's this team

Who has all the potential And all these gifts They just can't get him To work when they want Right And then all of a sudden This playoffs They figured out

How to use their superpowers The thing that we've always said About the Trailblazers was Man They have two guys That can get a bucket Whenever they want so even if you shut down dame cj will take over and then last playoffs it didn't happen the players before

that didn't happen this fucking playoffs dame's water turns off and cj's like oh i get buckets did you forget i get buckets i mean hit them with the gameinching shot Did the same stone face Like Like hey Splash Brothers We are coming We need a name for them The Night Kings

Real talk Emotionless Like the Night Kings Like they are The White Walkers They are coming for it They want that I like that

And they've been getting Yo Nerkich went down Don't care They are Hood might be down He's like a, Nerkic went down. Don't care. They are. Hood might be down. Ines is like a diet Nerkic. You know what I mean?

Yeah. Ines is underappreciated. He is D trash, but when you think about it, when they're coming against the Warriors, the Warriors have nobody in the post you have to worry about. His D is meaningless. That's why if KD is not there, he's going to be the key to that series because Ines is probably the top three best offensive rebounders in the game. He got to eat up Draymond.

He got to eat up Draymond. Anybody who can get extra possessions against the Warriors, they have a problem defending. If you don't got Boogie, you got old Andrew Bogut. KD's not in there. You got Draymond having to play these guys who, you know, he could probably get in there and spell you for a couple minutes, but

Enos, he's a load down there. And let's talk about it. Steph is not holding Dame. He's not. Clay has a shot to hold CJ, but let's say they make that switch and they go, yo, Clay, why don't you hold Dame? CJ's going to eat, dog. CJ's cooking up Steph.

He's going to eat. And I'll be honest with you, Dame got some D. I'm not saying that it was a – I'm not saying he locked down, but he's not a turnstile. He's not a turnstile, yeah. He could stay in front of you. This is going to be a very interesting series. And he's from Oakland too.

Oh, he wants it. Like, ooh, this is it. He wants it bad. And they got his brother. They've been waiting for it. He got Seth on his team too. Like, this is it right here. This is the matchup I wanted.

Like, everybody's like, it should have been Rockets and Warriors. I'm like, this series is going to blow it out the window. His parents, real quick, the Curry parents rooting one for Seth and one for Steph. If y'all don't both root for fucking Seth, let this motherfucker have something for God's sake. Does Steph have enough? God damn. Steph ain't got enough? You can't let Steph Get a fucking ring mom

Shit I be so fucking heated About Seth Oh dead ass I really get a roof For both of us Really Bitch are you crazy

I respect it God damn Yo that's funny man That's what they said They were gonna root For one One of them is gonna alternate One's gonna root for one brother

One's gonna root for the other And then I guess they switch Or they flip a coin Or whatever the fuck You crazy Steph gets it You gotta root for one brother, one's going to root for the other, and then I guess they switch or they flip a coin or whatever the fuck. Are you crazy? Steph gets it. You got to root for Seth. Steph rooting for Seth on some level. Get his little fucking king son, little orphan ass brother.

He really looks like Alfred E. Newman Steph. Yeah. Who the fuck is Alfred E. Newman? That's the mad magazine. The fucking logo? Get the mad Get the Mad Magazine logo up. That's so funny.

You know, the kid on it. And then get an image of Seth Curry up as well. It's Alfred E. Newman is the name of the kid. But they look fucking identical. Holy shit. I would not have. I would not have I would not have Alright keep that one

Keep that one And then Wait till you get the picture Of Seth Curry That I'm thinking about And that's not the one But there's a Seth Curry picture Oh my god

That's so good Like if Steph Was Alfred E. Newman That would be his brother Wait for it Go Let's wait for it bro

Who do you got Who do you got taking this Here it is Here it is So it is uh so god damn funny and that's a generous pick of of seth if we're gonna be honest with you seth does not look like that that looks like deron williams you gotta get him with that with the headband on yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah right there boom right up there there you go Yeah, right there.

Boom. Right up there. There you go. There it is. Get a smile. There it is. Bro. That's it right there. That's the one.

That's the one. That's the one. Oh, my God. That's so good. Oh, Jesus Christ. Anyway. Poor dude. So who you got?

If there's no KD, no Boogie. Hey, man. I've been riding with Dame since March. Yeah. You have. I'm sticking with Dame. Ride to the wheels for a long time. Hey, man, I've been riding with Dame since March. I'm sticking with Dame. Ride to the wheels, follow me.

Hey, how's that Kyrie looking? We haven't talked about that because he lost so early. He lost on Wednesday, so after we filmed Patreon, it was over for him and we just forgot. We missed it.

It's such old news that Kyrie lost. Kyrie is such a future Nick. He did us a solid by tanking the Celtics for it. He's already won the hearts of Nick's fans everywhere by single-handedly

shooting the fuck out of the Celtics out of the series. We don't want nothing to do with it. I'm good. I'll be mad at it. I got Golden State. I think Steph is going to do Steph things. I think it's going to be the most exciting series

in the playoffs because we're going to get to see old Steph. I think Steph is going to do Steph things. I think it's going to be the most exciting series in the playoffs because we're going to get to see old Steph. I think Steph is going for 30 every night minimum. He has to. I think Klay is going to go crazy on buckets, and it's going to be exciting. It's going to be amazing. I think CJ and Dame show up, but nobody else shows up on Portland,

and I think you'll get some decent big games from role players. Maybe, but I think you get some decent games from role players on Portland. But I definitely put my money in Golden State. They need all hands on deck. And I do think it matters that Golden State got no depth. And Iggy's older. So if Iggy had to play a lot of minutes, five, six, seven games, I think he's going to start to wear down.

I mean, Kevon Looney's been playing well. And I think, what's his face, Jordan Bell? Jordan Bell. Yeah, but they ain't going to change a game. Right, they're's going to start to wear down. I think. I mean, Kevon Looney's been playing well. And I think, what's his face? Jordan Bell? Jordan Bell? Yeah, but they ain't going to change a game. Right, they're just going to be there. You know, I think he has to be somebody to step up and go up against Enos and go up against these big guys that they got.

But do what? It's not like they get buckets offensively. You still need scoring. No, I'm just saying, just keep them off the boards. Give them extra opportunities. Sure. That's what you need to do. No one's counting on Kevon Looney or Bell or any of these guys to get them like 20.

They're not going to be difference makers. Draymond might have to do some work. There'll be a Draymond game. Yeah. I see Golden State. I really see Golden State coming out. But I think it will be a fun, entertaining series nonetheless. I'm rooting real hard for Portland.

Yeah, dude. I'm impartial now. I only wanted the Rockets to lose, so that's why I was rooting for Golden State. And let me tell you guys, all you Golden State fans, you were lucky because it is fun. It's easy. It is so much fun. When your team shoots and it goes in all the time, it's so much fun. What is that like?

I have no clue what that's like. Right? As a Knicks fan, to see things go your way, to get calls, to step out of bounds and then pass it. You wouldn't get sevens on the road? The rest just don't see it. This is an insane idea. Wait a minute. To beat the Rockets?

Do you know how crazy that is for a Knicks fan to experience? So I'm very grateful for that. If KD's not a factor, I got the Blazers taking this. Yeah. I got the Blazers taking this. I think this is Dame's time. I think he's going to take the Steph matchup personally, especially that there's no KD.

He's taking this matchup personally. That is one thing. Denver had an effective game plan to stop Steph. I don't know if Golden State has the personnel to do that. Yeah. And it definitely isn't Seth. That's their plan on stopping Steph is Seth.

You're as unprepared as Cersei because you have a dragon coming at you and Seth is a ship. Yeah, I might have said that. I'm saying I said Denver had an effective game plan to stop Dame. Denver limited Dame. But they got bodies. They got defenders. They're deep.

Golden State don't got depth in defense like that. So I think if Dame goes off, I think that'll, I don't know, I think they can carry us. That's what makes it for a more fun series. None of them are that deep. Like, it's a star-heavy team. Yeah. And it's going to come down to their best players. You know what's the underrated thing about CJ McCollum, too?

He seems to have legs for days. Like, that four-overtime game? They both do. It's unbelievable. Dame didn't have legs for days. Like that four overtime game. They both do. It's unbelievable. Dame didn't have a great series, so I'm going off this last series. But like in the third overtime, CJ McCollum's still getting buckets.

In the fourth quarter, they played 45 minutes each in the last game and CJ McCollum was tearing up the fourth. Warm up. There's that step back, like foul line extended jumper that he hit. Little 15 footer. When you play 42 minutes running up and down the floor

and your quads still have it in you to stop on a dime, push back, and elevate, you're on roids. You're on PDs or something, right? I wouldn't be surprised if all these young guys are, but that is unreal. Unreal cardio, unreal leg strength. Man, I think Portland takes it. I think Portland takes it.

I even think Portland takes it if they get KD. Really? They're not going to get KD 100%. They're going to get a little gimpy KD. And even if he does, I don't think he's going to have that same effectiveness that he did before he went out. You've also said if they make it to the finals, you think Giannis and the Bucks would take him. I do. I do.

Let me tell you what the NBA does not want. Milwaukee. Milwaukee, Portland. You know what? I think it's different. It's where white people go to die. I think it's where a Milwaukee, Portland finals Would be suicide Are you kidding me?

Great food in those cities Say what? Great food in both of those cities But if I think it's different I don't think it's like The early 2000s First of all

The food is not that great In Milwaukee? I've been to both these places They just put cheese on things It's not that exciting That's pretty great Great barbecue That's pretty great

First of all You're Indian You don't know anything about cheese. You have one type of cheese. Don't get excited over cheese. Who knows more about cheese than the people who worship cows? Facts. The people who don't.

The one who eat them. The people who devour every part of the cow, including the cheese. That's why you don't get the good cheese. You're killing them too fast. Y'all got one cheese, paneer. I know. To be honest, I don't even really like it that much. Y'all don't know cheese?

We're completely vulnerable with each other here. That's all they do. I'm telling you, these places where they tell you they're foodies, it's a crock of shit. It's because they have nothing else in their city, and food is the easiest thing to market around. Like, you can put an egg on a hamburger. You're not fucking Columbus. You didn't discover something genius about hamburgers, okay? Every time I go to Portland, or what's another foodie city?

New Orleans got great food. So New Orleans is different. New Orleans is not a foodie city. It's not a city who goes, look at our great cuisine. It's a city who's like, hey, we're going to be just eating shrimp in the back of a yard. You want to come by? And then that becomes, oh, it's a boil. You see what I'm saying?

Portland is like, hey, do you want to have the same meal that you usually have sitting down standing because you got to have a truck? They have a whole center of trucks. I went after my show. It's just four trucks that are parked and never move. Hey, that's a restaurant. You just have an outdoor food commons.

It's an outdoor dining commons. You're not a food truck anymore. You're just making me eat cold and in the rain. And you call yourself a foodie city so that people have a reason to go there. I'm going there for the Nike store and I'm going

there for the Adidas store. That's the only reason. If you got that employee pass at a Nike Adidas store. That's the only reason. If you got that employee pass at the Nike Adidas store. That's all. It's like Wonderland, bro. Stop telling me these tacos are that much better.

60% off discount, baby. That's our Disneyland. It is our Disneyland. I spend every penny I make when I do comedy there at that Nike store. My God.

It's better than a casino. They should have never opened casinos. They should open Nike stores at a discount. If you want guys it's better than a casino they should never open casinos they should open nike stores at a discount if you want guys to spend money at a casino i'll lose 300 i'll feel horrible right at a nike store i'll buy 17 pairs of roshi runs nobody's worn those sneakers in two years i was about to say like roshas i'll buy 17 pairs of roshay runs and i'll walk out of the go why did i just buy yellow roshay runs Because it was there. It was 40% off.

Because it was like $20. It's 40% off. That's all you need to do. Okay. But if you tell me that a taco coming out of this truck is some elite taco, does it have salsa? Check. Does it have cilantro?

Check. Was it served to me by a guy who looks Mexican? No. No. It's by some fucking white guy. And I got to believe this is the right type of tacos? Portland, give it a rest. What's the guy's name?

What's the Flavortown guy? What's his name? I don't know. You know Flavortown. What's his fucking name? Only Flav I know is Flav. Oh, that's Guy Fieri. Guy Fieri, yeah.

I believe Guy Fieri. Anything Guy Fieri says. What did he say? He said Portland's a foodie city. I was like, all right, I guess it's a foodie city. It's a mirage. It's a mirage. I'm mirage all just a flavor town bro do you know what it is this is what it is okay my favorite food cities are new orleans and new york and chicago yo can i be honest with you new orleans delicious food never markets themselves as food they don't need

to they market themselves as like a party they don't need to because you could buy booze in a drive-thru. Like, why the fuck would you talk about the food? You could buy booze while you're driving. It's insane. They have that in Texas too,

to be honest with you. Of course you do. And low-key, Texas, dope food city. Houston. Love Houston food. Dude.

Beautiful barbecue. I almost don't want to give Austin credit because they really ride themselves on that food, but their food, they do have some bomb food. I'm not gonna lie

What Houston got on Austin though Is that like after the clubs Like you leave the clubs And you'll get like a fucking like Fried catfish With like mac and cheese Like in the truck It's Austin with black people

That's what Houston has on Austin Black people You just described it It's the fucking shit It's the black people It's the black people making the catfish And other foods black people eat. So Chicago never markets themselves as food.

They have the pizza thing, which isn't even their best. Not their best shit. It's not their best food. I'm not a deep dish guy anyway. You know what makes Chicago's food good? What? Working class. It's just working class.

No, no fancy shit. Milwaukee working class? Milwaukee. Listen fancy shit. Milwaukee working class? Milwaukee, listen, Milwaukee's, they have good cheese. Wisconsin has good cheese. They won't give it up with the cheese. You can't even give it up with the cheese. I'm not going to knock the cheese. No, they have good cheese.

They can't even get the cheese props? They have the good cheese, but everybody thinks they're special when they put egg on a burger, and it's not that crazy a concept. The other one you said was New York. Yeah. Fantastic food here. Guys. Everybody acts like it's not.

Any kind of food you want, you get the best of that here, pretty much. I don't even want to say it. Maybe not best, top three. I don't even want to say it, but it's true. And there's a neighborhood for whatever type of food you want. Yeah. Literally whatever type. And it's maybe the only bargain in all of New York City.

You can get reasonably priced, high quality food. Can you not? Yeah. Considering it's high quality. I also spent 50 bucks on empanadas yesterday. You can get very expensive dog shit here too. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, no.

Empanada Mama's the spot. Anybody in New York, that's the fucking spot. That's a good one. Solid. First up. I Mama's the spot. Anybody in New York, that's the fucking spot. That's a good one? Solid. First off. I'm off the bread. Okay. I just got really triggered by this Portland has great food thing.

It's the truck. What the truck does is it sets an expectation low because your brain cannot- It's improv. It's improv. It's improv food. I'm eating out of a truck. There's a truck Right?

I'm never blown away by food trucks Except halal That's it Ramadan Mubarak No it's a fire food truck Cause I don't wanna sound like I don't wanna sound like that guy In Atlanta there's a food truck called Slutty Vegan

Oh get the fuck out of here No no no no No no no no Trust me no. This is a Patreon. I'll be talking to you. No, no, no, no, no. Just trust me on this shit, bro. Trust me on this. As a black man, this hurts me to talk to you. Why are you talking like this, man?

This shit is crazy, dog. Yo, and you're going to bust your ass one-on-one, dog. And you're going to bust your ass one-on-one. Well, first off. We should have talked about this at the beginning of the episode. First off, I'm unlocking my vegan powers. Oh, that's so crazy, dog. You can get your ass busted.

So you're going to take a nap halfway through the game? No, see, I won't take naps now. I hate when vegans act like they got all this energy. Nah, I don't. I don't feel that much different. Yeah. I just don't get the itis directly after I eat. That's the only thing.

Yeah, but that's the best part about eating. Eat a big meal, take a nap. Nobody eats a big meal. Yeah, everybody in the world has trouble sleeping. Let me get itis. Yo. Have a meal. This whole time everybody in the world has trouble sleeping. Let me get itis. Yo. Have a meal. This whole time, black people have had a superpower.

And it's the ability to fall the fuck asleep whenever. I've never had a black friend can make it through a movie. Son, I'm not going to lie to you. I still can't. I'm telling you. I just figured out what it is. Son, Jameel has fallen. My boy Jameel.

I've probably spoken about him on this podcast. This guy can fall asleep in any situation possible. Dude, I would be concerned about sending him overseas to fight for the United States Army because there could be carpet bombs going on and this guy would snooze through every single one of them. I was at my friend's house. Fell asleep on his floor using a 35-pound dumbbell for a pillow. Knocked out.

Four hours. Clean. Easy. I respect it. It's unbelievable, the ability to just go to sleep. There's something to it. Listen, it's not going to help you when we go one-on-one, though. Nah, Kaz, you should eat some meat. I'm saying, bro.

I was picking you on some vegan thing. I'm not using no excuse. For those who don't know. We haven't spoken about this on a regular episode. We should have opened with this. Maybe we'll edit. Who knows? Andrew and Kaz, it came up during a Patreon episode.

What would happen if they played one-on-one? Andrew was convinced he would give Kaz buckets. He says Kaz is nothing but a jumper. Kaz says Andrew is nothing but a right hand He says if you force Andrew to his off And nothing happens So the trash talk has commenced And we're trying to set a date For a one on one game

We all agreed I would get crushed by both of them But the two of them That's up for debate I think you give Kaz a run for his money That don't need to be an insult, fam. I don't need to become a part of the trash talk. See how he does you? See how he does you after you stick it up for him?

That's what you get, bro. I was trying to say, look at what's going to happen to you. This is literally. Oh, it wasn't the Kawhi shit. I thought it was about to be the Kawhi shit. But look at Bob, and you're done. It's going right every time. It's going right every time.

It's going right. No, no. Okay, but keep believing that. Okay, so yeah, obviously we're going to play this game. I don't know where Kaz got the idea

that he could compete against me in any physical sport whatsoever. But I'm going to take on the 6-0-40 time Kaz Famuyude. And I'm going to bust his ass.

I think he gets two points tops. So how does it feel like since I ran that 6.040, like, what do you lose to me? Like, how does that? What you're describing right now cannot happen. It cannot happen. All right, Dr. Strange.

Me losing to you in, what is it? It cannot happen. All right, Dr. Strange. Exactly. Like, it cannot happen. I went through every single scenario, and I feel like we've done this on the Patreon app. It's the exact thing. There's no way that I can lose to you in a game of basketball.

What we're talking about, what we're splitting hairs about now is how many points I'll allow you to score. Okay. And I think it's in the window between two and four. Here's the thing this is a game to 11 correct by ones game to 11 by ones i think that i'll let you score between two and four points here's the thing um it's a one-on-one game right so like if you score i get that right yeah but then you have to like stop me and you're too you're too small like I can take my time you don't know I can literally I can literally walk you down seven straight times or 11 straight You have to play defense, too. Kaz the slutty vegan

is going to be backing down Andrew. I need black ass Kaz eating ribs off his girl's plate. Oh, please believe after I bust his ass, he's going to go back to eating meat. Listen, you don't eat my meat, and then you go eat me afterwards.

Wow. Set it up. Set it up. Set it up. Bro, that's all I need to know. Just set it up, bro. You have to play defense. It's you versus... You can't call for help.

You won't get a single shot off around the basket. You can't fucking come and play defense and somebody like off of you? Around the basket, you won't get a single shot off. I can get a shot off of you? You won't get a single shot. The only basket. Off of you? Around the basket, you won't get a single shot off. I can get a shot off of you? You won't get a single shot. The only chance that you'll have to get a shot off is if I let you get a foul line. That means nothing.

It means everything. It means nothing. It means everything. For me, it means something. Listen. Everything. Akash, I want to believe you, but physics does not apply to me. I'm different.

I'm built different. It's a different thing with me. Okay? So you think you're going to back me in? I don't have to outrun you one on one. You know this. We know you're not gonna outrun me ever. I can, but I don't have to. There's no way. There's no way in hell. What's gonna happen is this. You're gonna think that you can bully me.

You're gonna think. That's cookies. Vegan cats barely even moving me on wheels. First off, I'm trying to keep you in the frame. Eat some fucking meat, man. That's cookies. That haircut is gorgeous. Yeah, you got a nice haircut. Very nice haircut.

Except for the bald spot, but it's cool. Oh, yeah. Keep that out. We'll work on that. We'll work on that. We're good. Shout out to him. But, yeah, no.

You have to guard me. Good form. Good form. No, no. Good form. His mid-range is solid. And a winter coat. Mid-range is solid.

Mid-range is solid. And every once in a while, I'll probably let you get a shot off for that. But the reality of the matter is, you cannot do anything to me underneath the basket. There's nothing you can do to me underneath the basket. I've never been so confident in my entire life. This is literally like America going to war with Nicaragua. You will lose. You will lose.

Okay? That's right. Finally, I remember where he was from. There's no way in hell that you could conceive of a situation where it will happen. But I want to play. I want you to. It's a contra war right here. It is, man.

It is. It was what, too? Good looking jumper, man. I think that you'll have to do a couple of those. And it's one-on-one, so I'm assuming we're playing top of the key, which is my zone right there. 18 feet and in, that's a bucket. And if you have to come out and guard me, I have to blow by. Let me tell you, you might get some points, but then you have to guard me.

I'm sorry, blow by. That is the point. Blow by. The point is you have to play defense. How are you going to blow by me? Because you have to come and guard my jumper. You have no arches in your feet. Unless you just want me to shoot. Your feet are flat. It don't matter. It's still buckets. That means you can't accelerate at all. Because you have to come and guard my jumper you

That means you Are they're pretty flat Duncan bro, I'm not gonna You can't This guy making things up I can still dunk you guys you guys

we were gonna do something for one thing but it was raining out but I can still dunk where was it on a court outside come on

it's a 9 foot rim fam you gotta dunk on a 9 foot rim I've played in all these courts my whole life a lot you tell bro what is score prediction it's 11

he does not score more than four. It'll be 11-4. We have to establish stakes. Maybe in the Patreon they can establish stakes. Yeah. Put it in the community. It depends how I want to play.

It depends how I want to play. Well, you should figure that out. Like, if I feel like just J-ing you to death, it'll be like 11 to like five or six. Because you'll get some rebounds or whatever.

But if I just feel like saying fuck this, back down, back down, 11 to like three 6 because you'll get some rebounds or whatever. If I just feel like saying, fuck this, back down, back down, 11 to 3. Maybe 2. Don't matter. It's a one-on-one. I might sit him down. It's a one-on-one. You're checking the ball at the top of the key.

I might sit him down. I already know the move I'm stumbling with. You're not crossing me, though. I already know the move I'm stumbling with, and what we can do is record something afterwards so I predicted it now. I already know the move that I'm stumbling with. You're not crossing me, dog. I already know the move I'm stumbling with and what we can do is record something afterwards so I predicted it now. I already know the move that I'm stumbling with

and he's going to do this. He's not going to fall but he's going to get hit like he's going to do what the mountain did in this last episode when he got stabbed in the eye where he did the

like that. That's what's going to happen to you. I'm going to mountain you. I'm going to mountain you, bro. I'm going to tell you what I'm going to do. I'm going to mountain you. Fast forward. You're going to check the ball up to me. I've already seen what's going to happen to you. I'm going to mount on you. I'm going to mount on you, bro. I'm going to tell you what I'm going to do. I'm going to mount on you. Fast forward.

You're going to check the ball up to me. I've already seen what's going to happen. You're going to check the ball up to me. You're not going to respect my jumper.

I'm going to hit my first jumper right in your mouth. Then you'll be like, oh shit. Akash, what have I said time and time again about him? He did say you had a good jumper. All right, so if you

respect the jumper, then I'm just backing you down. This is objective. This is objective viewership. You are a good mid-range shooter. If I have you on my team, to be honest with you, you are going to get buckets all day because I love penetrating addition. All right, great. You are a great teammate for me to have on my team.

Appreciate that. Absolutely. For real. You would be my Pippen. But remember, you are Pippen, okay? And you're going up against MJ. It's different. All right?

It's different. It's different. All right? It's different. It's different over here. You don't know what Pippen looked like when he dunked. We know what MJ looked like when he dunked like that. I don't know what Pippen looked like when he played. Right? What's this? That's motherfucking Jordan.

That's who you're going up against. You look like Patrick Gill when Pippen put his nuts in his fucking mouth. That's what's going to happen to you. Don't recall it. Youen put his nuts In his fucking mouth And that's what's gonna happen to you Don't recall it I recall You're Nick's friend How do you not recall this? I blocked it out

I blocked that out Do you know what I mean? I did block that out It's gonna be a lot of jab steps Because you're gonna have to Respect the jumper And then once you come up It's just easy pockets

Son, you don't realize my length Dog, I I only need two minutes to beat you This guy has no clue about my length There's 15 feet Like we're not playing football You have no clue about my length like do you not understand what's happening here i'm johnis bro like look at look at this length look at that length i'm blocking you from here i'm across the table your shot is going into the stands by the way fam are you out of your mind

we might need to do this. Real talk? That's all you could go? Come on. That's really all you could go, man? Put your arms, put your shoulders up. Bye! You're in first on this show, you're going way up here.

Bye! Match your shoulders up with mine. Bye! Back up, come on, set it up. Set it up. But that's how you do it. You go like, you both touch. Son, you want to be like that?

No, I'm staying on straight. All right. See how I touch you mad easy? You can touch me. I'm touching you mad easily. I'm touching you mad easily. I mean, I could, like, touch the back of your neck. I could get you in there, too.

He's intimate, dog. I think I know how this game's going to end. I know. They just go, fuck. That's what I'm saying. We don't fucking think. We both go, me when it's that. All I'm saying We don't fucking We both don't be One of those All I'm saying is Real talk man

It's going down You can't wait It's gonna be lit So we gonna We gonna find a place We gonna do it I'm gonna whoop that ass It is what it is bro

Sounds good man I don't think you understand Like Alright I'm just tired of talking I gotta set a date I know So I can start training

For it all out I'm gonna put in a couple hours got to set a date. I know. So I can start training for it all out. I'm going to put in a couple hours. Like Jay-Z said, if you set up a meeting, I'm going to set up a beating. Ooh! That's the first good draft shot live from KFU. I'm excited now. Slutty vegan. Young Hesse.

The matchup of the century. Yo, that's what his name is. Slutty vegan. Kazim, the slutty vegan. All right. I can't wait for it, man. that's what his name is. Slutty Big. Kazim, the slutty big head. All right. I can't wait for it, man. It's going to be fun. We should invite the assholes out too.

Absolutely. We got to do that shit. We're going to make it happen. We're going to figure it out. Continue to talk on the Patreon. Absolutely. Come on over. Matter of fact, yo, thank you to all the new subs on the Patreon.

Appreciate y'all coming through. Patreon.com Slash flagrant2 A lot of A lot of Interesting Flagrant conversations Over there

I've been thinking about And you know This is an open source conversation But I was thinking about Potentially capping The amount of subscribers To our Patreon Oh interesting

Yeah Interesting Because I think that There's i love the intimacy of the community and i love what the community allows and um i think when things grow too big you lose some of that camaraderie intimacy um and you have people that might do things that go against community guidelines it's a little bit harder for us all to kind of like continue those guidelines people who listen to patreon know what i'm talking about right now but it's something i want to talk to you guys about we

can continue talks but um it's something i just i just want to throw out there we'll see exactly what it is we want this to be something that everybody's here for us but we just got to find the best way to to make sure what we got going on can continue it's a sacred thing it is a sacred fucking thing so we got to find a way to keep it sacred um i gotta i gotta i gotta run guys but before we run i want to give some dates and then we have a very special moment to to finish up the episode like very special okay um uh we have the baddest bitch of oh yeah oh yeah but before we do that i just want to let y'all know um nashville this saturday zany's comedy club one of the best clubs in the country i love zany's comedy club uh go get your tickets theandrewschultz.com i'll be there saturday two shows only come on out alex media is out there with me uh we're gonna be filming some content cooking up some great shit um and then next week after that we're gonna be in columbus ohio funny bone remember best chicken tenders in the motherfucking country

okay uh love that club as well and then the weekend after that we're gonna be in st louis missouri so get your tickets to all those. TheAndrewSchultz.com for all the rest of the cities. Make sure you go there. Cop some tickets. You guys? Oh, yeah. May 27th, baby.

Motherfucker. Oh, well, two things. I will be at StarCast at the Sporting News Wrestling with, hold on. Anyway, I'm speaking at StarCast, too. with hold on anyway i'm speaking at starcast too my boy andre is hell willie mac um uh billy ray a bunch of like really dope black wrestlers and speed going on the conference about like diversity and race and gender and pro wrestling for starcast in las vegas and then may 27th at the brooklyn mirage do say palooza new york city yeah we got the homie waji as the headliner it's not just gonna be A motherfucking

I know some people Come in and they're like Oh he's gonna come And like do like 12 or 15 minutes of songs Like T-Pain and Leave Like no YG is doing a full

Fucking show So if you get your tickets To Do St. Palooza You're getting a full Fucking show This is the only show He's doing in New York YG got the best song

I could never sing along to The number one Of all time I mean you could I'm just saying I don't know I'm good And all the Nipsey fans All the West Coast fans song I could never sing along to. The number one of all time. I mean, you could. I'm just saying. I'm good. And all the Nipsey fans, all the West Coast fans, if you really fuck with it, this is the one to be at.

This is going to be a special one. So get your tickets on Dusaypalooza.com, OG Chase B, Steph Cakes, Austin Mills. Everybody's going to be DJing. It's going to be fucking crazy. Go support that, yo. Go support that, yo. Akash? Nothing.

Just if you can, Support the GoFundMe If you haven't already That's on my Instagram It's for a friend of mine Brian Whose daughter passed away At memorial services This Thursday

And thank you assholes For supporting that And he's super thankful To everybody He sent a huge thank you To me Asked me to say thank you To everybody

So appreciate everybody Who donated Hearts and prayers Are with you Brian Okay so let's do it So right now Obviously you guys Have seen this Snapchat filter, which turns you into a chick.

And in true Flagrant 2 competitive fashion, we want to know who the baddest bitch of Flagrant 2 is. So let's get it started. Can I say, I'm not even going to hold you. I know I'm coming in dead last. I'm an ugly woman, bro. Let us say it. Who the fuck is this bad bitch?

Yo. Who is this bad bitch over here? You look like the bitch from The Ring. I don't know why my face is mad small. Yo, you are cute, bro. You're kind of exotic. Yo, you are light-skinned and shit, too. You're adorable, son.

You got nice eyes, bro. Yo, my kids are beautiful, dog. I'm a gorgeous-ass girl, dog. I'm trying to think who you look like, son. You got nice eyes, bro. My kids are beautiful, dog. I'm a gorgeous-ass girl, dog. I'm trying to think who you look like, even. Yeah, you look like Aria, but like a cute Aria. Deadass. You two look like a little cute-ass Aria, man. You look like a real-life anime character.

Yeah. Like you're in Dreadnought. For real. I'm cute. You're all right, bro. You're all right. What was his name? Misty from Pokemon? You look like Misty. Yeah. Like you're adrenaline For real I'm cute Yeah You alright bro You alright What is his name Misty

From Pokemon You look like Misty Yeah Real talk man Nah you Look at the eyelashes Sexy boy She is gorgeous dog

Damn boy Nah you got that You shouldn't have Lived with the best dog You know that What we got next Let's see what we got Alright Yo you look like Let's see what we got Alright

Yo you look like That's a bad bitch Yo Andrew You look like He about to go Ask for a manager Right now Bro

You look like Black Widow bro That's a bad That's what I was about to You look like Scarlet Witch Nah I look like The Olsen The Olsen one

Oh the Olsen Oh um Oh uh Scarlet Witch Scarlet Witch. Scarlet Witch. Scarlet Witch. That's what I was thinking of. Scarlet Witch?

I'm fine, son. Look how fine I am. Say you took everything from me. Yeah. Bro. You're like Marlon and White Chicks. Damn, bro. Now, that's a fine-ass woman right there.

Bro, you look like- You all right. You all right. I'm kind of fine as fuck. You all right. You look like my fifth grade uh teacher yeah i got some some some like assistant teacher vibes going right now no but i fuck me i definitely fuck me they really like they really like fucking like give you bone like female bone structure can we talk about how my lips are bigger than Akash's? Just saying. I'm just saying my lips are on point right now.

Oh, my God. Look at that. Yeah, we look a little related. We look a little related. All right. But his has a little bit more spice. Yeah, Akash looks part rat. You look like a rat.

I feel like you need to curl your hair. Doesn't he look like a rat a little bit? I feel like if you had curls in your hair hair bro You'd be like An even badder bitch You know what would be Good if you had some cheese That you were eating You rat Fucking rat

Dude you look like a rat Get out of here dog You hating Stop trying to flirt with me Alright go back Go back Stop nagging me I'm nagging you

Stop nagging me That shit right there bro That's what's up I look like a painting That came to life I look like some shit That's like chasing around Motherfuckers in painting that came to life. I look like some shit that's chasing around motherfuckers in an old hotel. You legit look like...

Who said I look like the ring? Somebody say that? Yeah, yeah, yeah. You do look like the ring. I look like I could be Asian. I look like I could be Russian. You look white, dog. I don't know what you're talking about.

You straight white. I look white also, but I look like I could be Asian. You look straight white, fam. I think I'm Asian right there Alright let's show Cass Cass you are the ugliest I've ever seen in my life What is the fuck

You look like a character on Martin Bro This is shit So here's the thing right It's fucked up cause they give you like I guess they try to like take your facial hair away. And it just gave me like the mutton chop. Even without the facial hair, you ugly as fuck.

Fam, thank God you're a man, bro. I feel some type of way, though. Holy shit, you fuck. Oh my gosh. That is gross. I don't even look like a discernible female. I look like Harriet Winslow. Who's that?

From Family Matters? The wife? The mom? That's hilarious. I was going to say the bitch from Parks and Rec. What's her name? Retta? Oh, yeah. Oh, no. Not Retta. Not Rashida Jones, dog. Goddamn. Rashida, fine. Kaz, you look crazy right here, bro.

I'm an ugly bitch, bro. I'm an ugly bitch. Goddamn. I don't feel like it did anything to change you. No, you look crazy right here, bro. I'm an ugly bitch, bro. I'm an ugly bitch. God damn. I don't feel like it did anything to change you. No, it changed Akash and I. Y'all look like different people. They just put a fucking wig on me. You look like Tran Kaz. This is slutty vegan for real.

Do not go trans, bro. If I was thinking about being a tranny, this definitely Like took me to the other side bro Oh my lord bro That is insane But you know what's fucked up

Your face Somebody The fucking part about it is This shit is disgusting bro Somebody out there Would fuck that Nah they wouldn't Nobody on earth

Somebody out there Would fuck that Nobody on earth Somebody would Nobody on earth Do you know how much Do you know how much Motherfuckers love pussy?

If I had a pussy, somebody's fucking me. Nah, man. I'm telling you. Nah. I guarantee you. Nah, that shit is gross. Somebody.

You look like you belong at a fucking carnival, dog. What are you talking about? Yeah, dude. That is a crazy looking... Go back to it. That bitch could get fucked.

Go back to it, bro. Right there. Yeah, that shit is... God damn. Yeah, bro. You look like a turtle. Woo! Holy fuck.

Oh my God, bro. You're like the only black Amish person The fuck is that Now can we see the baddest bitch though Alright go Bad bitch Alex you alright

You gotta go Real talk Real talk If Alex didn't have the beard That's kind of showing Alex would be a fine ass bitch Real talk Look at them lips bro

Look at them lips look God damn bro You do got one nostril Mad bigger than the other Yeah you taking it All the breath bro Yo Alex You look like Tina Knowles

Oh yeah You alright Al? I'm a bad bitch You make a decent tranny Real talk Word For real You look like Tina Knowles. Oh, yeah. You're all right, Al. I'm a bad bitch, though. You make a decent tranny, real talk. For real, you better hit up Dwight Howard. Yo! That's probably his bag. You look like a bad PTA bitch.

Damn, bro. You're all right, man. You even got the blush on your cheekbone. Did you put on makeup before you did this? You know it. I had to take some off. You know what you kind of look like? You look like a sexy meter maid.

You ever see them bitches that get tickets to the park cars? There's always one bitch that's like decent looking. That's what it looks like. That was magic. Yeah. Yeah, no, you're a pretty bitch, Alex.

Thank you, man. You're a pretty bitch. Thank you, man. All right, guys. This has been another episode of Flake with 2. Wait, we didn't get Ed? What?

Oh, you had one? I didn't do one? I looked on the thing. I didn't see it. Oh, okay. Ed, guys. This has been another episode of Flakewood 2. Wait, we didn't get Ed? What? Oh, you had one? You didn't do one? I looked on the thing. I didn't see you. Oh, okay. Ed, cute. Okay, cute. Ed looked like a legit woman.

Ed looked the most like a woman. Hold on. I just want to acknowledge something. I didn't say you because I looked at the group text, and I didn't see your picture in it. So I really thought Alex said you weren't allowed to do it. I was thinking that was fucked up, B. But yo, I got to say, I've slept with multiple women that look like you, bro.

Like not just one. I've slept with multiple that look just like you, bro. That is wild. Dude, this makes me uncomfortable. I had a girl that kind of looked like that. Dead ass. Dead ass. A Latin girlfriend that looked just like that.

Teeth and everything. I don't even want to look at you no more. I'm a little uncomfortable now. You make a cute woman. I want to know how your mofongo is. Real talk. I might friendzone you your mofongo is. Real talk. I might friendzone you, but I'll be like,

I'm a little drunk, yeah. I'm not friendzoning you. I'm buying you some tongue clasps. Right? Take you on a nice walk. Take you to DR for the weekend. We could go to Sandals. Nah, you look like a good drunk night hit.

Oh, facts. Selfie drunk night, yeah. You look like you're built like shit. Like, your face is pretty. But there's a good like drunk night hit like oh facts don't be drunk night you look like you built like shit like your face is pretty but you built like shit your face is adorable you built like you selling mangoes on the street you built like you got a sausage stand on hollywood boulevard on Hollywood Boulevard. Oh, my God. That is fucking hilarious. Yo, Ed, you built like your Instagram

is neck up. Damn. She got the fire poop one, bro. The fire poop one. The fire poop one, dog. But her neck up is 10 out of 10. Damn, son.

This is crazy. You look like the bitch up be like i look different looking at your phone like bro damn bro well anyway man i i gotta run out of here but this has been another episode of flagrant two no easy buckets um you already know thank you so much for listening thank you for spreading the word thank you for supporting everything we do we appreciate

you we'll see you on patreon on Friday yes sir and we'll see you non patrons next Tuesday keep it tight