Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh - How Kanye Can GET AWAY WITH IT w/ Ari Shaffir

Episode Date: December 1, 2022

Flagrant had to bring on Ari Shaffir to discuss his new special on YouTube, his thoughts on Kanye, his trip around the world and much much more. 00:00 - Ari - Free Kanye 08:29 - Losing My Religion - Hallowe’en was banned 11:50 - Tour of SE Asia - bandits, bus buddies and brothels 43:20 - Shaffir’s special - promoting, fact-checking and future 54:57 - Spiked drinks, Boomers, Ayahuasca - insignificance makes you cherish everything 01:17:06 - Sephardis v Ashkenazis 01:28:56 - Ari’s new hour 01:33:32 - Balenciaga’s new CP advert

You just made songs about it, Kanye. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We'll all be behind you. Make bangers. As long as you're making bangers. Like, we got into Jesus for a little bit. Jesus. Because of one of his bangers.

Yeah. Jesus did walk. Women dance to a song calling them gold-dicking ****. You don't think you can get Jews to dance to this? Yeah, we all dance. It's a new way. Make bangers, Kanye. Get off Twitter.

Yeah. So, not pissed off at all you didn't care uh uh I was just like something's up here I don't know also I asked a crowd about it I don't read the news

I like just intentionally get away from it for two years now so I'll ask audiences like what's going on in the world yeah one of them's like

Kanye's homophobic I'm like what did he say or not homophobic whatever the other one is the other one anti. The other one. Antisemitic. Antisemitic, yeah.

And they were like, he said. Super gay to hate the Jews. Yeah, dude. Right? He said he's super gay to hate the Jews. But I was like, what does that mean? They're like, I think he means his agents. And I was like, oh, I've been saying that for many years.

They're your Jews. Yeah. Yeah, when you're upset, you're like, go talk to your Jews. Tell them to get you a break from the road. You know? And even if they're not a Jew, but they're in the Jew arts. Yeah, when you're upset, you're like, go talk to your Jews. Tell them to get you a break from the road, you know? And even if they're not a Jew, but they're in the Jew arts. Yeah, exactly. They're the Jews.

So he's just saying, I'm mad at my Jews. I'm mad at my Jews. Also known as the dark arts. It's just like, we're good at being agents. I don't know. You're like, I'll get you some money. Like, sweet. You're good at that. Go get it. You can say it. Yeah, I can't know. Where you're like, I'll get you some money. Like, sweet. You're good at that. Go get it.

You can say it. Yeah, exactly. It's not the worst thing in the world to be good at making money. Yeah, I don't think it's a bad thing. Yeah, who's making that a bad thing? I think it's, yeah, when does it get bad? It gets bad when it's like, you're

organizing in a way. They're taking my money. Yeah. Well, that was a funny thing. Be better with your money. Fucking Catholics, fucking goys. I'm loaning your money. I'm not taking it. But that's the thing we were talking about

when it comes to the Jews running Hollywood. It's like, well, they haven't exactly made themselves heroes. Right. If they do run Hollywood, where's the, well, they haven't exactly made themselves heroes. Right. Like, if they do run Hollywood, where's the Jewish superhero? There are none. They're still the villains. Wow, you're right. Like,

Magneto is Jewish, survived the Holocaust, and he's still the bad guy. Wow, you're right. Holocaust survivor, bad guy. He's a bad guy. I didn't even think about that. Isn't that crazy? Wow. Like, the Germans put all the cool stuff in them, so maybe there's something there. You would think he would

just be like, yeah, yeah, yeah. You would think he would just be like, let's get revenge on Germans. But he's like, let's get revenge on all the boys. Wait, wait. His power is to control metal, but is that just like to get the money closer? Because back then, a quarter was worthless. Precious metals, it's gold. He hides it in his helmet. That's the most racist

that's the most racist. That would be the actual Magneto. He's just. He hides it in his helmet. That's the most racist that's the most that's the most That would be the actual Magneto he's just like just collecting chains and he goes go in by wishing well and

Trevi Fallon's just empty. Yeah. Who is this guy? He's like he's just a shitty superhero. He's my lawyer actually. That's crazy. That's how they got him

to unlock his powers by moving a coin. That was the very first thing they made him do. Holy shit. It's crazy. I told you that got him to unlock his powers, by moving a coin. That was the very first thing they made him do. Holy shit. It's crazy. I told you that my buddy Paul, when I was in middle school, this kid, I don't want to say his last name, but he was a Peruvian kid. And there was this kid, Howard.

This is fucked up, but there was this kid, Howard, who was this Jewish kid. And every day during lunch, we'd go to Subway to get sandwiches. And Paul would put a nickel on the middle of the table. He'd be like, watch, watch, he's gonna go for it. He's gonna go for it. Just watch, just watch. And I would come back with his sandwich and Paul would just stare at him. You ever see someone put

a mouse in a snake cage? Yeah, and you're just like... So there is some, I guess, I don't know, real shit there. I don't know. I don't think Kanye's doing anything. It's just like overhyped. Really? Yeah.

People are like, he's just anti-Syndrome. It's like, I'm not seeing it. I don't know. When does it become a problem for you? Are you just kind of like numbed all of it? He's not doing anything. I don't know. He's not doing anything.

He's just like expressing a little disinterest. It's like, it's fine. Same thing. Remember Mike Cannon, whatever his name is? Mike Cannon? Not Mike Cannon. No, not Mike Cannon, whatever his name is? Mike Cannon? Not Mike Cannon. No, no, not Mike Cannon. Nick Cannon.

The older one who looks younger. Mike Cannon does edibles and film specials. Not an anti-Semite. Yeah. Nick Cannon got in trouble for it, too.

They tried to take a show. Like, who gives a fuck? It's okay. Why didn't you get any paranoia? Why, you know? They're not doing anything. Yeah.

It got real bad once. This isn't that bad. It's just us celebrities saying like, Only us. I was going to say that. I was saying. He sounds like a reasonable guy. I've been waiting for this take for three weeks.

Hey, Al. Can't black people say the same thing? It got real bad once. Yeah. Different now. Do you think that there is an oppression Olympics that black people and Jews are fighting for the gold? No, Jews just got involved. They're kind of winning.

Black people got it. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. That's crazy. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. That's a hot take. They're winning in terms of? The oppression Olympics. Jews are winning? Yeah. No way. Blacks are's crazy. Whoa, whoa, whoa. That's a hot take. They're winning in terms of? The oppression Olympics. Jews are winning?

Yeah. No way. Blacks are number one. Oh, come on. Blacks are number one because Asians tried. Stop it. Asians tried. And everyone was like, shut up, dude.

No one cares about you. Yeah, we weren't buying it from the Asians. Yeah. More stories about Jews, but blacks have won the oppression. Why is that? Why? I don't know. I wonder.

Just, I guess, people write stories. Yeah. Write stories about Jews. I don't know. Hey,. People write stories. Yeah. Write stories about Jews. I don't know. Hey, hey. Learn how to write. You think blacks aren't winning the paint Olympics? The oppression Olympics?

Absolutely not. Wow. Absolutely not? Absolutely not. That's a wild take. That's a wild take. That's the wildest take that's ever been on this podcast.

Yeah. I thought... Because he just said, y'all run everything, and he's done. But he's still here. He's still fine. No, he's not.

Yes, he is. Where is he? He's being talked about nonstop. All his money's gone. Not all his money's gone. He's still got $400 million. All his deals are done. Like, he's done.

He's done out here. I just wonder, I think that that's like the amount of people... NASCAR drive guy drops the N-word and people celebrate him. Which one? That's NASCAR though. You gotta think about it.

I'm just saying. Wait, wait, but has anybody, you gotta have an example of somebody who said something bad about black people who's also done. I mean, Megyn Kelly is the example I always use. She asked about blackface and then immediately she gets kicked off the air. And then gets a new show? No, she has her own show.

No, she's doing her own thing. She produces her own show. Oh, she produces? I thought she was on NBC. But it's never, either way, it's not easy to go after either one.

I think what it has to do is how many group, how many of those people are in the industry. So for example, you can't say anything about black people in basketball

because even if black people don't own the basketball teams, they run basketball. They run. Donald Sterling. Exactly. Please just don't take as many pictures with black people.

Yo, that was crazy. In a way, it's even more racist. Like, don't even be in pictures with them? Yeah. That's a crazy thing. That was wild. He was like, you can fuck them. Yeah.

He's like, nothing's all in my film. From a rich white guy, old money country club perspective, he was saying, like, I don't, I'm progressive, but I don't want to deal with my not progressive friends. My friends are not going to get it. I don't want to deal with their racism. It's like the gay at Thanksgiving. He's like, just say you're my friend. It's fine. You know I love you, babe.

Just come on. I don't know, man. I think it's like how many people are in the industry and then you have to respect them? And maybe that's the idea about representation. No, you know why the industry is hella Jewish? Why? It's because you have to operate at a failure level for a while financially. And so like, if you want to be an agent or a manager, you got to work for four, it used to be 450 bucks a week, tons of overtime, no overtime pay. So who can live on that?

You need someone funneling you money. You need a rich person funneling you money. Yeah, we had money, so we were able to be like, go follow your dream. Now, is there ever this feeling like, all right, you know, Akash, for example, being a comedian as an Indian, he should be an engineer, he should be a doctor or whatever. Being in front of the camera, is that looked down upon? Did you ever, were your parents ever? No, they just didn't think it would work. They'd be like, no, what a pipe.

I'm sure for all of you guys, it's like, you can't do comedy. That's like a wild celebrity's in comedy. No one we know could do it. So that, but once I started making a little money or I got my first commercial, they were all like, oh, sweet. And they're 100%. Yeah. Oh, wow.

Were your parents different, though, because you were raised Orthodox? Well, first I had to get out of that. Yeah, so I'm like, what was that like? We did a little research here. You found the Orthodoxy. You weren't, you're like a born-again Orthodox. Yeah, when I was little. But you started out as just regular.

As like conservative. Conservative. And then like in third, fourth grade, my dad's like, let's get religious again. What were you doing in third grade? Oh, you know, two fucking hookers. I was fucking giving it to these babysitters, bro. They didn't even know.

No, but what happens in like the fourth grade? So suddenly it's like, oh, hey, remember Halloween? Fucking try to keep a memory of it because we don't do that anymore. It's pagan. That was the fourth grade. So suddenly it's like, oh, hey, remember Halloween? Fucking try to keep a memory of it because we don't do that anymore. It's pagan. That was the worst one. Yeah, what's the deal with that? I had a Jewish friend growing up

and I wanted to do Halloween with him and his parents were like, nah, you can't. That's the worst one. Costumes are expensive. I just said dress as a Jew. Like, that's perfect. That's scary in my neighborhood.

Exactly. They're coming! They're changing the neighborhood for better or worse, I don't really know. They're buying up the neighborhood. What's the Halloween thing? It's pagan, but I remember switching to a religious school and then the teacher asking, like,

what, some, I guess Columbus Day. She goes, what's this day? And I was like, you know, you know something? I was like, it's Halloween. And she was like, October 20th. And I was like, she's like, no, it's Columbus Day, but also we don't this day? And I was like, you know, you know something? I was like, it's Halloween. And she was like, October 20th. And I was like, she's like, no, it's Columbus Day, but also we don't do that. And I was like, wait, what do you mean? She's like, yeah, we don't do Halloween.

It's pagan. Damn. Like, what's pagan? You guys have your own Halloween. Yeah, poor him. It's great. You're supposed to get drunk. Religious Catholics don't do Halloween. Really? No, Jehovah's Witnesses don't. We break all of them. It's so lame because it has nothing to do with religion anymore. You're not actually

worshipping devils. But you're saying you're devil worshipping or you know. But that orthodoxy is I'm by the book. By the book, yeah. So, you know,

definitionally. Yeah, you can't take a choose. Okay, so how do you get out of that? You go to Yeshiva. Went to seminary for a couple years and then realized I didn't believe in God.

Why? It just wasn't in me. It's just like, why do you not like tomatoes? It's just like, you just think about it and you're like, it's believe in God. Why? It just wasn't in me. It's just like, why do you not like tomatoes? It's just like, you just think about it and you're like, it's not in there. But you were reflecting. There was a moment where you were just... Yeah, I was like, oh, I don't think I believe in this.

Drugs, anything help? No, no, I just, there was this, I wanted to turn off a light on Shabbos once and I didn't do it, but I was worried about people. It's in the special a little bit, but like people going by my window in Jerusalem, and they're like, I'll get in trouble if but I was worried about people. It's in special a little bit, but like people going by my window in Jerusalem. And I'm like, I'll get in trouble if they see my light go off.

But then it just like, for about a year, I struggled. I was like, why would I care about the people seeing me? It's not their law. It's God's law. So he has to take that up with me. Yeah, that's who I'd fear, not these people. And I'm like, and then I'm like, maybe I don't really believe in them.

Like I always say, like if you're jerking off, like if your dad's in the room, you're not just going to jerk off. Because he'd be like, what are you doing? Like, oh my God, like I didn't know you were real.

Like you're positive he's real. So you just, you don't do it, you know? But like if you weren't sure, you'd be like, I don't know, dad, they say, but it's not a real thing,

you know? It had nothing to do with that light. Yeah, and I just didn't believe in it, so I had to, like, I had to make a hard decision to get out. I didn't fade away like a lot of Jews. I was like, I'm done. Did you have friends outside of the community?

Nah. Whoa. Yeah, it was hard. This is why you're comfortable being alone. I was always curious about you with this. It's like, you... No. This is why you're a dork loser.

No, no, no, no. Like, when you went on the track... Just say it, bro. This is why you're sad. No, no no no like when you went on the track just say it bro this is why you're sad no I mean it we've been waiting a long time to have this out

no after after your fucking show which was absolutely brilliant the storytelling show it was not happening yeah thanks so it's like

it was so good and you created a cool unique thing in the stand up space which almost never happens everybody tries to recreate the same thing where like they take your joke and they act out the sketch oh yeah yeah yeah a cool, unique thing in the stand-up space, which almost never happens. Everybody tries to recreate the same thing where, like,

they take your joke and they act out the sketch. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Right? It's the same thing over and over again, but you just, it's a storytelling show

and it's really great and you've got people who weren't even necessarily stand-ups doing it, but the story worked in that space. Like, sometimes, yeah, like, I think Carrot Top

told a fucking story, like. Yeah, there's that NGWK. Yeah. Henry Long sold a great, great one. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Anyway, power storytelling time we can get into that but then after that you go in this fucking you go in this like stella got her groove

back yeah and like you went around and then you will go around the world and i'm like wait what's going on like how do you yeah it was a big fight i got into with comedy central remember comedy central no i don't they were a big network yeah yeah everybody wanted to get on there. Yeah. Yeah, they were like, come on, we gotta start the next. It was eight months of editing. It took forever. And they were like, you don't have to do it. Let someone else handle it. I'm like, ugh. Yeah, they don't get it. No, you don't get it. But you go, and you go alone, and you're on the show. And I was like, wow, it's so weird that you would be able to do that. Yeah, I want to see the world. Yeah.

So you just walked away from the show, and then went and saw the world? No, first I went to see it. I was like, we gotta slow down. And they're like, Duncan Trussell told me. He was like, well, I'm like, I don't know what to do. He goes, well, you want to see the world, and this network television place wants you to not see the world. Yeah. So what do you mean?

What's the question? I was like, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So I was like, guys, I'm out for an hour long. I don't know. What did you want to see? I just want to go out and travel, see the world. Yeah. I did one gig in China.

I did a China run, and I was opened up after that. Yeah. I was like, I want to go everywhere. I remember when I was traveling the last few years, it had been all about trying to see the greatest things that man has created. Like, I want to see the pyramids. Great Wall of China? I didn't fucking see the Great Wall yet, but was it crazy or what?

It's overrated. Really? No, not really. It's amazing. No, no, it looks overrated to me. No, it's so big and so far. It? It's overrated. Really? No, not really. It's amazing. No, no, it looks overrated to me. No, it's so big and so far, it just keeps going and going. Really? Yeah. Okay, fair enough. That shit looked mad

low in some pictures. It is low. You could get over it. Yeah. But you would have to go over the mountains with a giant ladder. And they had these openings for arrows. Imagine coming up and it's just, fuck it, you couldn't get to these people. It's just an arrow hole and you're like, bring it. Oh. Yeah, but how are they going to have people lined up the whole thing? Whatever, it doesn't matter.

Yeah. But I remember just wanting to see all the greatest shit. Yeah, it's China. Now, back in the day, it wasn't a billion. Half a billion. What if they weren't all connected

back in the day? You could see it from space. I don't believe that either. Yeah, you're right. This bullshit, you can see it from space. You can't see anything from space. Yeah, that's a good question.

You're right. You can't see it from space. They make things up all the time. You can see the lights of Las Vegas from space. No, you can't. They say when Flashdance came out, people were dancing in the aisles in the movie theater. And I'm like, that's a good question. You're right. They make things up all the time. You can see the lights of Las Vegas from space. No, you can't. They said when Flashdance came out, people were dancing in the aisles in the movie theater.

And I'm like, that's not true. No, zero chance. You could hear that from space, actually, though. You could hear it from space, yeah. This is what happens when you leave a religion. Everything's like, that's not true. Actually, no. The oil lasted forever?

Not true. But I went through that fucking experience where I wanted to see the greatest thing that man created. Did you go to the pyramids? And I went to the fucking pyramids. They're great, right? That was... It's just like, what the fuck?

You're welcome. Yeah, you touch these stones, and instantly you're like, that's 8,000 years ago. You're touching the same fucking thing. Not redone. It's crazy. And then you go see, and that's where I was,

I was just recently, I was like in Utah and I saw what, I saw what time can create, not people, just fucking time, water and sand. And that was the most profound thing I've ever seen. It was just seeing a fucking 100 million years of just water slowly trickling through sand. It is crazy, man. Yeah, erosion. Erosion, man.

Right. We're here for such a short amount of time. Yeah. You ever do that thing when you go to the beach, like you pour water and it's like a little line

in the sand? Yeah. And then you do it over and over and it actually makes like a little canyon. A little early erosion? Yeah, legit.

Like that shit is amazing. And then we did it one time in the Grand Canyon and you're like, oh. Like it puts the whole shit in perspective. This is so big.

Yeah. And you're here for just a little part of it. A little bit. That's what I could think about. And you're going to spend it fucking arguing with people on the internet.

A hundred. Dude, it just puts things in perspective. It's like, what the fuck are we doing? Like why would I waste a single second of my time? Yeah.

Why would I be bothered by a single thing? Nothing matters in the grand scheme of things. Think about it. 200 years, what can change in 200 years? Forgotten. Completely forgotten. That shit makes me so like,

it makes everything feel useless. But then that's the other thing. It's like, how do you not become like a nihilist? I have to block that out. I'm like, dude, then what the fuck am I even doing? You have to think that, you have to care enough to be the best version, I guess, of yourself

and treat people well. Yeah, it's just that you don't do it for what the stories are going to write about you. Exactly. Because it's like that'll be forgotten. You do it for each interaction right now. Which is why I was impressed when you went away. Because it felt like it was something you were doing for yourself. You wanted to explore. Where'd you go again? Started in Myanmar. Which is...

Yeah, nobody goes to Myanmar. I got a few. I just had I just went, I got a few. I was like, I just had Southeast Asia, and then I got a few of the visas. Can you explain Myanmar real quick? Like, right now, there's a fucking coup going on in Myanmar. There's absolutely no Western influence at all. I can't believe you even chose to go there.

Yeah, it was just, I looked at the weather. What's the weather in Southeast Asia? What is the best weather? That is so Jewish. So, like, two days out, I was like, I'll go to Myanmar. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, what's the Miami of Southeast Asia?

Like what can we do? It's Cuba. What is it about Comedy Central that makes people go crazy? He didn't go to Israel. Also, Asia way further than Africa.

You are more impressed. Okay, so you go to, yo, Comedy Central, you be breaking people. Breaking people. That's crazy. Yeah. Okay, so Myanmar, you go. Yo, call me instead of you be breaking people. Breaking people. That's crazy.

Yeah. Okay, so Myanmar, you go. Yeah, so I went. I fucking called an Uber, and then I put my phone in my drawer, left it there, and just took off. Just left. Wanted to, you know, get, I don't know. Just wander, as someone would say. Got a hotel the first night.

Then I started getting hostels. Yeah. Stayed in Myanmar for like almost four weeks. How much money did you have in the bank at that point? Probably like 100 grand, but I didn't take all that with me. I probably took like 10 grand with me. Yeah. And then like Myanmar to Thailand for a little bit, Cambodia, Vietnam.

Fuck, any hookers? Yes. Is it even a question? Have you heard anything this man has said in the past 20 years? The weather. What if it has? Thailand, dude. Talk to me about the Thai hookers. Okay. The only question is

the one big question. You don't ask. And then you don't ask, don't tell. If you go anal either way, then nothing matters. Yeah, why are you paying for box, dude? You can get box. Dude, it's so weird seeing the shriveled up little bonies. Wait, what? During the ladyboy shows.

Oh. And they'll reveal like... Hold on now. It's like, oh, okay. They'll have their little Ds, but it's like they'll take the, I don't know, the estrogen or whatever, and it's just like the shriveled up, like, it's just like so small. You're like, what the fuck? I thought he was at a barista.

He was like, what? I just looked at him. I went too far. Took a cigar cutter and went, oh, you went too deep, dude. Okay, so the Thai hookers, did you do anything? Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's great. Ladyboy or no?

No. I tried to get into Ladyboy. I really did. I was really trying to go into, this is before this trip, but I figured, because I've seen them and some of them are gorgeous. Yeah. Like on a level of like, yeah, better than the women you'll see. Even like a Hot Girls of New York, that's right there with any model I've seen.

Yeah. So I'm like, I should fuck a lady boy unless I'm homophobic. The only reason not to do that would be if I'm homophobic. And I'm like, I'm not homophobic. So why wouldn't I? They're hot. Why would you not fuck a hot person? Yeah.

This is like a very total reason to fucking a lady boy. Some are like, no, no, beards reason to fucking yeah a lady boy so I went some are like no no beards and like and like like I'm a lady man you know

alright alright yeah that you know okay I'm not as attracted to that but I'm like attracted to these people it's only the idea

that there's a dick there yeah so I found one that was just gorgeous and I was like let's go and you tried yeah and then she

we got to the door and then I my legs wouldn't go in. I'm homophobic. Yeah. My legs wouldn't let me go in. I'm a homophobe. I don't think that makes you homophobic. I disagree.

Do you hate them? No. You just don't want to fuck them. There's a fear, I guess. What's the fear? You're just not turned on. I am turned on, though. Oh, you are? That's the thing. That's a fear i guess but i what's the fear you're just not turned on i am turned on though oh you are that's the thing that's a hot woman so why would you not fuck a hot woman who wants to fuck for oh actually i get your breakdown now you're attracted to them yeah but you're not acting on the attraction because you must hate the act oh yeah something like that yeah interesting yeah if your friend's chick comes on to you, you want to, but you're like, no.

Yeah. That's my friend's chick. There's a reason not to. Yeah. There's a reason not to fuck this hooker. Did you try kissing them a little bit? Or speaking? Did they speak to you? Is that homophobia, by the way? I don't know. What would it be? Homophobia's a weird word. Did you get in the mood? Maybe you just need to be warmed up a little bit. I was in the mood. I went in, maybe. Was it the accent?

I mean, every hooker. Who's gotten hookers here? Yeah. Nice. Married and admitting it. Sadly, no. It's nerve accent? I mean, every hooker. Who's gotten hookers here? Yeah. Nice. Married and admitting it. Sadly, no. It's nerve-wracking, right? When you're like in Tijuana or wherever, you're like, oh. It's like more than just regular sex. It's like, fuck. There's money involved.

There's money, yeah. Am I doing it right? Am I doing it right? I don't know. Yeah. I mean, it'd probably be easier now. I got to strip the lap dance at Norman's bachelor party and just fully jizz in my fucking shorts.

Wow. Yeah, she knew it was happening. I was like, oh, she's like, mm-hmm. She just kept going. I was like, you know. Did you try to play it cool? You were like, mm-hmm. I did because it took out half a song.

And you're like, enough, enough. You don't want to cuddle at the strip club. You're like, can we just hold each other for the rest of the day? She knew what she was doing. She got right at the switch. and then she's like, no. So do you make her keep dancing or just clean it up? You're like, maybe work the knee a little. I don't know.

Yeah, that wasn't the best part of Southeast Asia, though, was not the hookers. What was the best part? Just being lost. It's so different. It's so foreign. And you went completely alone. Yeah. I feel like traveling alone is the best, because then you just. It's so different. It's so foreign. And you went completely alone. Yeah.

I feel like traveling alone is the best because then you just have no excuse not to talk to someone. Traveling alone is the best, but no phone is kind of crazy in a country where you don't speak the language. Like, you're alone, dog. You're fucking alone. You find hostels.

You find other people, other travelers. You meet Germans and Australians and shit. Was it a little sketchy? Germans? You were okay with that? Was there any part that you were like, oh, this is a little dicey? Every dangerous part

was in my head. Every time, like, oh, this is shady as shit. I was in East Timor and they were like, be careful, there's like full-on bandits there.

My brother, my half-brother's in the, captain of the army, he's like, don't go, don't go any east of Dili, of the capital.

He's like, I wouldn't go there at all, but definitely don't go east and go any east of Dilley of the capital he's like I wouldn't go there at all but definitely don't go east and I'm fucking riding a moped by myself like for the eastern most

these two guys pass me with like a fucking overalls and like and I'm like fuck and they keep passing me and they're waiting like smoking cigarettes

and I'm passed by or coveralls you know like work clothes and then I pass no you're right to ask and then they're just watching me pass by. I'm like, fuck. And then they get in their motorcycles,

they pass by me again. I'm like, fuck, I'm in the middle of fucking nowhere. And then they're stopping. Like, where are you going? I'm like, I'm going to this fucking city. Like, one spoke broken English. And he's like, do you want to come with us? I'm like, no.

What? No. And I'm so fucking nervous. And he's like, there's a place to sleep up there. And I just took a chance. And I was like, what is it? No, and I'm so fucking nervous. And he's like, we had, there's a place to sleep up there. And I just took a chance. And I was like, what is it? He goes, it's a family reunion. And they just invited me up with them.

And all these tattoos, all crosses and shit. They're just super Christians who were trying to be like helpful. Yeah, and we went to the top of this fucking highest mountain there. Slept overnight in this weird hut. And then just watched the sunrise over East Timor. It was crazy. It was so cool. But it was all my,

Eddie, like this is dangerous as shit. If you didn't take the chance, you would have been like, I narrowly avoided something bad. Ah. And then you tell yourself the story of how I got away, how I escaped.

Yeah, how I escaped. And you're like, it's just what escaped, you don't even know from what Christian's trying to be inviting. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Oh, that's so interesting.

One of them spoke a little English, maybe two of them. That's historically not that kind of a thing though, Christian's trying to be inviting. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. One of them spoke a little English, maybe two of them. That's historically not that kind of a thing, though, Christian's trying to be inviting. They're usually inviting you to convert. Yeah, exactly. Did they try? No. That was great.

No, they were just really welcoming. Any moment that you were scared, any absolutely terrifying moment where something could have been horribly wrong, narrowly avoided? Yeah, on that motorcycle trip, I remember coming around a curve and the ledge is here

and it's just straight down and I went too far over and I had to put my foot down but there's nothing to put it onto. And I'm like, fuck, and I start tipping and I just hit a root that stuck out and I just fucking pushed it back up.

And I was like, that was bad. I thought of my mom. If she saw that, she'd be like, what the fuck? Come home now. Whoa. And they would have never known. They would have never known she'd be like, what the fuck? Come home now. Whoa. Yeah, but. And they would have never known.

They would have never known. I would have just been in the fucking gully somewhere. In a landmark for a hiker or something. It's crazy. That's what I'm saying. Not even a cross by the side of it. Yeah. Somebody put some leaves on.

Jesus, man. Yeah, but mostly it was just fun. No danger. Were you kind of cynical about humanity before you went and did it change your perspective on people? No, but you get used to a little bit of like the luxuries we have here. Like, don't take it for granted. Yeah. When I got home, the number one thing I noticed, the first thing I really noticed

four and a half months out there was like the toilet paper. Toilet, yeah. The whole toilet situation, it's just a, yeah, yeah, yeah. Phenomenal. You can't get it unless you're out there and you're like, what the fuck are we doing? There's a hole in the ground, and you've got to learn how to fucking squat like this.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Equal abilities, yeah. Yeah, before that, I would, like, fall back. Now I'm like, no, and you're just like, oh. It is kind of better, though, right? Like, you had way better movements, to be honest. They say that, but I don't know. That's why you got the squatty potty.

Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I'm a big squatty potty believer. I've always wanted a squatty potty. Yeah, 100%. If you see Chinese tourists, you'll squatty potty. Yeah. Yeah. I'm a big squatty potty believer. I've always wanted a squatty potty. Yeah, 100%. If you see Chinese tourists, you'll see footprints on toilets. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They just get on there.

Here's how cheap and Indian we are. We don't even get a squatty potty. We just use a footstool. No. Same. Really? Yeah. That is white of me that I needed like a...

Gosh, it's the same thing. Why spend money? Yeah, exactly. I needed a branded product. That's such a good point. Yeah, fuck. Did it change a comedy doll for you? That's what I wanted to Yeah, exactly. I needed a branded product. That's such a good point. Yeah, fuck. Did it change comedy at all for you?

Ah, that's what I wanted to ask, yeah. Hmm. No, I don't think so. I mean, what I found, same thing with COVID. I went away for COVID. Went to Ecuador

for a few months, for six months. I just stopped writing. I wasn't even thinking about it. It was kind of sad. But did it affect your writing when you got back? You have all these

new perspectives, all these new experiences. No, some stories. I got some stories out of it, you know, for sure, for sure. I don't have a show to put them on, but I still do them on stage. Yeah.

Yeah, but just some wild, it's just like, I don't know, it's just like you get a better understanding of like that you have your own cultural ideas of things. Yeah. Even just the street signs are in a slightly different font or, you know, it's just like, yeah, that you have your own cultural ideas of things. Yeah. Even just the street signs are in a slightly different font. You know, it's just like,

yeah, when you get out there, you're like, my world is smaller than the whole world. Yeah. So you just travel to all these countries, no problems. No problems. Are you in the Masai?

What's going on? East Timor was a problem. I couldn't get into East Timor. I had to get a three or four day waiting period to get in. And then I had a Swiss friend, and she was like, no, just walk across the border. And I'm like, doesn't work that way for Americans. Yeah. Americans can't get in everywhere.

Really? Yeah, we fuck with people too much. Yeah. So they have reparations or whatever. Man, you put the call internet in Yahoo. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Good. Yeah, living to have the stories.

It's so much freedom. When you don't care where you're going, like long-term travel, it's like, oh, I'll go from this city. Imagine long-term travel in America if you're not from America. Yeah. You visit Chicago.

You're like, after Chicago, go to Milwaukee. Yeah. And someone says, hey, well, you know, in Fort Wayne, there's this big convention of whatever going on. You're like, no, I'll go to Fort Wayne instead. And it's just like. I pitched this to my wife for Christmas.

I was like, well, why don't we just fly somewhere in South America? And then we'll like figure it out while we're there. Yeah. And it was really hard for, you know, she likes to plan. She likes to, and it's great because we go on these fucking great vacations. I'm not upset about it. But I like the idea of us going to Peru and be like, no, this is nice. Let's stay a few more days in Peru.

Yeah, let's stay. Right, right. Why have to leave? Yeah, yeah. There's so much freedom where you can just stay. You're like, oh, we didn't know this thing was available. Let's go. It is also different when you have four days there as opposed to four months.

100%. You have to maximize. Yeah. Yeah. What was the most interesting impromptu thing where someone was like, hey, do you want to just go do this thing with us? That wasn't, not even in your mind to explore. That probably, the mountain up there,

was up there. Let me think what else. I went, so I just got eventually sick of like backpackers and hostilers and I just like Googled, I was in Vietnam, I was in Ho Chi Minh and I was like, where are there no white people in Vietnam?

And I found some city in the south, Chodok. And I was like, let's go to Chodok. And yeah, it was an overnight, it was like a 13-hour overnight bus. Tried to make friends through Google Translate with this guy.

Yeah. Yeah. What did you do? What did you do? What did you do? We can cut it. We can cut it if it's too crazy, but what did you do? So I met this guy, and I'm meeting him over Google Translate,

which is so cool, Google Translate. I saw a fucking German and a Chinese lady in Thailand hook up, fully fucked, nobody speaks their show's language on Google Translate. It's great. Spreading STDs everywhere. So I'm talking to them. What are you doing here? Can we take a picture?

Like, sure, they love taking pictures of white people in Asia, black people that love a dread. They'll just like, can, they love taking pictures of white people in Asia. Black people, they'll love a dread. They'll just like, can I touch it? Or they won't even ask, they'll just touch it. And you'll be like, excuse me? And they'll be like, come here. But, so we're talking a little bit and it's a sleeper bus. It goes like that, like three rows of it.

But I can't sleep because it's Vietnam size so it only goes up to my knees. So I can't, you know. And there's a row in the back for five chairs altogether, which they wouldn't let anybody sit there. I couldn't get a ticket there. I'm like, why not? I'm like, why can't you go back there? It's not permitted.

And I was like, eventually I'm getting so frustrated. And I was like, fuck it. Everyone's sleeping. I'm like, I'm going back there. And I'm sleeping diagonal over these things. And then the fucking Vietnamese guy, well, they're all Vietnamese guys, but the one I was talking to turns around, looks for me,

and I was just kind of like, hey, I'm fine, I'm here. So he comes back, and he lays there, and I was like, all right. And then I'm kind of laying on my two seats, and he's laying on his two, and then he just tries to jerk me off. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. And then he just tried to jerk me off. And you had to Google translate? What did you do?

No, you don't have to Google translate. No. He was like, uh-oh. What? And I was like, what signs did I give off? Because it wasn't like he was going too fast. Were you wearing this shirt? Because I might have done it.

I was like, give away. I was like, I had no interest in sexual things with him. Yeah. And he just went straight to a fucking handy. See, that's why black people

hated the back of the bus, bro. That's right. Improptu handies. I'm telling you, bro. Yeah. Shit goes down back there. It's like, come on, don't put me back there.

Okay, so you take the handoff. Do you continue the convo through Google Translate? No, I just laid there. It got very tense. And then he's like kind of waited. I bet he was going like, did I read that wrong? I swear.

And he was like, get back here. And I'm like, does he do that a lot? You did wave. I did wave. He didn't even want to jerk you off. He's being polite. He's like, this guy's a visitor. I got to take care of the guest.

He's on the fucking jerk-off seats. I's being polite. He's like, this guy's a visitor. I got to take care of the guest. He's on the fucking jerk off seats. I don't know. Maybe he thought that hand job. That's what he thought that meant. Yeah. Look what it's attached to. Yeah, we lay there for a while. I guess he thought, like I wasn't like, no, no, no, come on.

I was just like, and then he got up, went to his seat. And then I was worried. I was like, what if he steals my shit? Yeah. But then I had to think, like, that's not a gay stereotype. Yeah. Yeah. You turn me down, I'm a thief now.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm like, that's unrelated. And eventually I managed to go to sleep. When I woke up here, he'd gotten off one of the stubs. No. Yeah. Damn. Wait, you stayed in that back row?

Yeah, I didn't want to go back because I was going to be right next to him. You sit next to him. Yeah. So that guy went back, so you got to... Now, if someone else had come back there and was like, hey, I'm like,

this is on me now. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm giving up on that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's just real. That's crazy. Maybe, yeah, that's the jerk-off area.

Yeah, exactly. It might be the jerk-off area. And nothing happened in the sleep? You didn't have, like, a wet dream or anything? Uh-uh, uh-uh. Mm. Wet dream.

They're like a tooth fairy. They could be crafty, sneak up in there. You put a Vietnamese spell on me and it's like, oh, what? What'd you do? Yeah, you're coming one way or another. That's guerrilla warfare. I'm curious. Do you feel like going from orthodox upbringing to then living in a secular world,

was that a similar cultural like exploration as being like an American and going all the way through Southeast Asia? Oh. No, I mean, I knew about secular life. Right.

From movies and stuff. But this stuff was just wild. What was it like when you went back from, like back into secular life? Were you going wild? From Judaism? Yeah, like them fucking Amishes

who go with everything. Oh, yeah. It took a while. Rumspringer? Yes, Rumspringer. I definitely do more drugs than I should because I'm making up for lost time. I'm more of a whore than I should be. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know when you get to a bar and everyone's drunk and you're like,

oh, let me catch up, but then you blow past them. Is that why you don't want to have kids? Because there was so much focus on getting back the six million? Nah, I just think they're disgusting. Germ factories. Everyone was like, Asian hate, Chinese are spreading germs. I'm like, look at every child. Kill them.

Punch them. No, it's just like, there's just so much work. I'm trying to think if there's any tie into atheism and not wanting to have kids. No, you know what I've heard? It's any artist doesn't want kids as much because you're leaving something behind for the world.

You know? You're special, you're special. Huh. It's a great studio. But then artists have kids less because you want your lineage to continue. Dumb fuck thing to think about. Artists want kids less? Yeah. Because you want your lineage. You already have a great painting. Oh, you want your lineage to continue. Dumb fuck thing to think about. Artists want kids less?

Less, yeah. Because you want your lineage. Because you've already left something. You already have a great painting. Oh, you want your legacy to be about you, not something else. No, you just want to leave something to the world. That itch has been scratched where we all want to leave something behind. You've already done that.

People will see this later. Yeah, I see, I see, I see, I see. What about the idea of not living for yourself? Nah. That's what I'm saying. You think it's because you tried living for God. Oh, yeah, maybe, maybe. And it's like, it's what I'm saying. You think it's because you tried living for God. Oh yeah, maybe, maybe. And it's like, it's all about me now.

And it was like, yo, this was, I was completely empty. So I don't want to not live for myself. Yeah, you didn't do anything for you. And now you're doing stuff for you and it's great and it's awesome. And you have financial backing. It's great. But what if you get bored of that? What if you're like, I want to live for someone else?

I'll do like volunteer work or something. I'll go back to God. Then it'd be God. It won't be. Dad. What? Oh, I get it. Yeah, yeah.

Nah. Do you think there's any benefit in religion? Yeah, tons. It makes good people, if you follow it right. The last joke in that special was one of the latest taglines I got, the last tagline was like, there's reasons. Like, God, it's good thought. Like, it was like tying in Noah to like, you know, nowadays where God's like, go get those people back.

Because nowadays, it's like, don't talk to those people. Don't associate with them. Where it's like, no, no, he'd be like, go fucking try to help somebody. Maybe you have a... It's good teaching. We were talking about it before. It's like, there's good, like, all naturally, probably you will too, probably you will too. I don't know about you heathens.

But like, you're going into a store, you just, if you're some old person, you just naturally hold the door. It's just part of your upbringing. Yeah. You're not even thinking about it. I'm not like, I'm not a religion anymore. It's the door yourself, you know? It's just like... Yeah.

So you already have that baked into you, so you can be a good dude. It's baked in. Like a kugel. Yeah, I don't know. What are you? Are you Jewish or not? No. You're not. I knew it. I tell everybody that. I tell everybody. They all say no. So you're wrong. No, no. Not Jewish. But yeah, I think I have a good

example of how to live. I was very fortunate in that regard. So I have my religious example if you know and but i do think i think religion is important especially like now that you're not believing in god and you can like question it you could see the value in the what is spirituality not necessarily but like your connectivity through it right so it's like that's kind of all i always saw religion as i saw religious people that I had encountered in my life. And I was like, oh, these guys treat me really well.

Yeah, the good ones. They're kind. Yeah. They believe in something that's bigger than themselves, which I think is really beautiful. And they're usually not like narcissistic pieces of shit like I will meet sometimes. And it's refreshing to be around something like that. You ever see Jews dancing, like a city of Jews dancing? Yeah.

They go for it. They're so happy. You ever seen one on a city bike? of Jews dancing? They go for it. They're so happy. You ever see one on a city bike? It's the best thing you've ever seen in your entire life. A city of Jews on a city bike? Hitting that Williamsburg Bridge. Yeah.

Going down. They got their fucking feet out to the side. Letting all the air come up. The air is flying. They look like they're going to fly away at any second. It's like E.T.

Yeah. Oh, no, it's fantastic. But yeah, they let loose, man. When did you know your trip in Asia was done? Like, when did you know, like, all right, it's time to go home? I wrote a letter to my friend who started the show with me, Eric Abrams, directed the special, R.E. Schaffer Jew, on YouTube right now. They wanted to do part of the Wild West Comedy Festival,

and they were going to have a show with Third Man Records, which we thought would be cool. It's Jack White's record company. They were going to show there. So I wrote a letter, and I was like, hey, I could check to their homes. I'll check the website. If it's scheduled, if that show's scheduled, I'll be there for it. Otherwise, I'm just staying gone.

And they fucking scheduled it, and so I went, yeah. I went straight there. It didn't get scheduled, would you have just gone for like another two months? I might never have come back. Remember when Delta was kicking off

and people were like, that might be the new big, it might be just as bad or worse. Yeah. And at first, I was like a little scared and then I was like, I'm going to Peru.

I'm fucked. This is perfect. Shut everything down. Take it out of my hands. Did you do Machu Picchu? No, I didn't go. Really? Well, it didn't kick off.

I didn't go to Peru. He said the second wave of Corona. First wave, I went to Ecuador for six months. Oh, okay, okay, okay. And how's your Spanish?

Are you like... It's better, but it's not that great. I just went back to Mexico City. You would try to do South America or Central America.

Necesito mas practica. Yeah, I like South... Mexico City is the shit, dude. It's so cool. That's a world-class city that nobody speaks about. Like, Paris, London, New York, Mexico City is just unbelievable.

Yeah. I did my bachelor party in Mexico City. Really? Yeah. Smart. Yeah, yeah. Sounds like a mezcal.

Yeah. Food is great. Party great. Yeah, it was sick. I barfed hard last night. Last night? Yeah, I just went on a mezcal. Yeah. Food is great. Party great. Yeah, it was sick. I barfed hard last night. Last night? Yeah, I just went on a taco crawl. I just tried to get one taco from every place.

I just kept, I was like, I'm full, but I want more. You got to keep going. Not even alcohol-induced? There was mezcal there, too, but no. A pure food-induced vomit, that's impressive. I've done that. Yeah, just in gorgon? A few times.

Yeah. It's got to come out. It's got to come out. It's got to come out. Your body's like, what the fuck are you doing? All right, guys, we're going to take a break for a second because some of y'all are not getting the sleep recovery you need. And I'll tell you why you're not getting the sleep recovery you need. Okay?

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Yeah, I mean, who's done heavy mushrooms? One. Not heavy. No. I've had a really horrible trip, so maybe that's heavy. I'm interested in macro dosing, though. Macro dosing. Yeah, that's what Huberman called it.

Hero dose. Shouts to Huberman, dude. Yeah, just when you're talking and you're just like, oh, you're just gone for a little bit. Oh, those are fun. But anyway, you get this idea. Same thing with the horseshoe. What is it called?

Horseshoe bend. Horseshoe bend. Yeah. Where you're like, you're just a tiny speck. You just kind of goes out to what the world is and what time is. It's back to this little speck, what you are. Yeah. And even that doesn't do it justice.

Yeah. About how infinite it is. And you're like, oh, this is all meaningless. And then some people go to like that same thing as God. And then I don't. I just go like, I don't know, just give you. DMT I've heard is the one, right? Where you see God.

Something like that, right? Yeah. How do we balance? Yeah, that's the trickiest thing. It's like, how do you balance the nothingness, the comfort in the nothingness and the arrogance you need to create? Oh, right.

There's a certain amount of arrogance you need to create things. Like, I should say this, I should do this, and I should put this out in the world. I made a great thing, and I should share it. And it is for you, even though it's for other people. Even when we were talking about your special, it's like, you were really proud of this thing. Like, this is for you even though it's for other people. You know, even when we were talking about your special,

it's like, you were really proud of this thing. Like, this is something you worked on for fucking, you would say it a lot. You'd be like, I put five years into this.

Yeah. Never put that much time into anything. Dude, and it was really cool. I'll be honest, of all the comics that I've spoken to

about like, you know, how to release a special and that kind of stuff, you were fucking locked in. And you said something funny. You were like, it was also Sober October.

You're like, I'd never be able to do this if I was sober every single day stuff, you were fucking locked in. And you said something funny. You were like, it was also sober October. You're like, I'd never be able to do this if I was broken weed every single day. But you were fucking sober and sharp and exercising, burning 500 calories every day. You helped me so much, dude. I was like, I was right from the start. I was like, hey, is there anything I should know? You're always really fucking good about it.

Even when I had my first stand-up clip, I was like, I think I'll put a clip up. And you're like, well, make sure to put all the things, big shot of your face, big writing. I was like, okay. He goes, you're like, send it to me.

I'll just do it and send it back to you. I was like, okay. By me doing it, one of these guys did it. I just wanted to let you know. Right, right, right. Yeah, yeah.

By me, it's like saying, I put a deck in my house. You're like, don't. You just went like this. Any advice that I gave you on the special

was from this community right here. But yeah, then the special came and I was like, anything I should know? You're like, well, yeah, what's your trailer look like? I'm like, oh, do I need a trailer? He just wrote back, bro. And I was like, what? I don't know. I don't know any of this.

I don't know. What am I supposed to do? You just like walked me through it. But you absorbed the fuck out of it and you went after it and you had your own ideas and certain ones like really worked and they enhance it and other ones

I was like, ah, it's a little bit too much so let's kind of like bring it back but like, you were just really hungry for this thing to be seen

and I thought that was really cool because a lot of people, especially comics, I think that, you know, we feel insecure like promoting our own shit

which is the dumbest thing in the world because if you really believe in something that you've made like, you should want people to see it. Yeah.

If you don't think it's worth seeing then they're not gonna see it at all it's hard you're gonna be like i don't know here but like i don't like the all shucks promotion yeah i i don't like it because if you believe in something get behind it i think tyler the creator said it the best there was a clip that i reposted but he was like yo you put your fucking blood sweat and tears into like this is what you do if you think it's dope let people know it's fucking dope yeah i had a comic uh carla Bove she's friends with Kinnison

he was just like a helpful comic when I started and he was selling merch after a show I'm like don't you feel like a cornball doing that

and he goes no it was a keychain maybe but these are my CDs this is my this is the thing I care about yeah I want more people

to see this yeah that makes sense see but yeah with this special it was like I want people to see it this one especially

and it's especially good when like when the product is good I find it's way easier See, but yeah, with this special, it was like, I want people to see it. This one especially. And it's especially good when, like, when the product is good, I find it's way easier to promote it. Like, when you believe in the thing. I suppose, like, if you're in some shitbox movie, and then they're like, hey, go promote it. And you're like, eh, so it was fun to work with Mila Kunis. Yeah.

And you just know, it's like, ugh. Yeah. Yeah, this one was great. I love how the comics have all gotten behind it. Yeah. It's like, ugh. Yeah. Yeah, this one was great. I love how the comics have all gotten behind it. Yeah. It's been really helpful. Yeah, yeah. And just people seeing it.

Like, I've had a lot of people individually reach out to me and just be like, hey, I saw this thing, and it was cool. It was, like, focused on this one thing, but it's still jokes. Like, non-comics. I'm talking about, like, friends of mine. And their reactions were great to it. And I was like, oh, wow. The special has breached the atmosphere.

Proliferated, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I always look at that. I was like, if my non-comic friends, who all think they're comedy fans, they're fans of comedy, but they're not locked in, locked in. When they start sending the DMs, and they start asking me if I know of a person or whatever,

I'm like, oh, wow, you've gone out. It's gotten out, yeah. There's the Rogan sphere, which we all exist in, and there are people who are not familiar with us through that. When they're watching... I don't have four and a half million people who know who I am.

Exactly. Isn't that crazy? Yeah, yeah. I probably got 130,000, so the rest, 4.4 is on the house. We can go on and on about it, but that's the perfect example of why you do something like this,

especially if you really care about it. Yeah, the best comment is, I've never heard you before. This is great. It worked. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Nah, that was far.

I'm curious, what was the Jewish reception versus the non-Jewish reception? Oh, yeah, did Jews get upset at it? I was afraid they might, but I really tried to cross my T's and down my I's and make sure,

like I was telling before you know how you do a joke about black people you better know and like if there's like two black people in the audience I'll do it this way so it's not about you you just kind of keep your eye on them to make sure it's not like it's racial and so you're like I just want to make

sure it's on the right side of this so you keep your eye on them so those two audience members are the most important audience members of that joke. They're going to define how everybody feels about that joke. Same thing with any joke. You know, women or Latinos or, I don't know, an autistic joke, whatever. You don't want them to attack you. Yeah. So if I'm doing a joke about women in the wigs and I see them in the audience and

I'm doing the joke, I'm keeping my eye on them the whole time. And they're always loving it. They're like, someone's speaking about our experience in a comedy sphere. It's no way. And you know your shit. You've got to know your shit. It's respectful, yeah. Yeah, that's the thing I realize. You ever wish there was a couple black people outside and you're filming that Kobe video?

The what? Yeah, there were black people. Keep an eye on them. Hold this. Keep an eye on them. Yeah, what? Maybe you're a tuxedo. Yeah, but I thought they'd get madder, but they really didn't.

They didn't. Well, it's hard for them because you know your shit, dude. I have had some people go, while I was doing it, some people were like, that's not true. That didn't happen. What parts? Kabbalah parts or like the dropping a piece of ham in soup. They're like, that's not wrong. You just don't know enough.

You're wrong. I was higher up than you were. You just weren't made aware. But did it make you go back and check? Oh, a lot. I had a great closer about Noah, Noah and the flood,

and how his wife had, his wife had 40 kids. And I was like, the real hero of the story is, well, he had 40 kids. The real hero of the story is his wife. Because like,

her pussy must have been so fucking blown out. I couldn't even carry, well, he had 40 kids. The real hero of the story is his wife because her pussy must have been so fucking blown out. I couldn't even carry a baby to term after 30 kids. And I had this whole act out of these kids coming out of the umbilical cord, grabbing human food and then going back in. And it was just crusher. And then some rabbi in Copenhagen was like,

hey man, loved your set, brought it to my students. That was so funny. You know Noah did not have 40 kids though, right? And I was like, no, you're wrong. He goes, listen, I don't care. Say whatever you want. That's fine. It was hilarious. I'm like, wait, are you serious? He goes, yeah, I forget. It was three or four. And I'm like, no.

And I looked it up and I'm like, I gotta drop it. I don't know. It's his childhood memory. So I had to figure out which of these is just like vague memories from childhood that you thought, you know, when you think of something but you're like,

the context was off. Yeah. Yeah, I definitely thought the sheet with the whole thing. I thought that was true. Dude, I learned that on this. I thought that was true. My last religious friend

from Yeshiva came and he was like, great, we don't. Fuck, that's never happened. I'm like, that's not true. Rabbi so-and-so did it. And he goes, that's not true, Ari. It's made up.

And I'm like, no way. Where does Rabbi. So-and-so did it. And he goes, that's not true, Ari. It's made up. And I'm like, no way. Where does it come from? It comes from a stereotype about Tzitzit, about this poncho. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. With the frills around it. Yeah, and it came from the hole in the middle of a poncho. They're hanging out to dry. And they were like, that must be what it's for.

The neighbors saw it. The neighbors. Because you put it over. So the neighbors are seeing it. Yeah. Oh! Yeah, and it must have been from that. Plus, we hate you,

so like, what's there to do? That's a big-ass hole for a dick, though. You know what I mean? It is a big hole. It's that part I'm fine with. But they're cutting off parts of it

so the neighbors are probably like, they must have something to spare. Yeah. I was so sure it was true. Well, I saw it in Unorthodox, which, like, apparently, have you seen the show? I saw an episode or two, yeah. And I thought that that was, like, perfect representation. And I'm pretty sure they do it in the show.

Yeah, I made up. Fuck. That's crazy. Did they? In the show? I thought they did. I think they were trying to have sex just with, like, I don't think there was an actual hole. Oh, it wasn't? Yeah, but they were trying to have sex just with like, I don't think there was an actual hole. Oh, was it?

Yeah, but they were just both wearing shitty gowns. That's how convinced I was of that is that I made it up in the show that it wasn't even in. Yeah. And the rib thing, too. Good for you for fucking taking it out, man. Yeah. Because it's so easy when you get tired. Because that's the other thing. We're not fucking truth tellers here.

We're comedians. And when you get the joke that makes people laugh, it's good enough. But when you're putting it out and calling it Jew, now you have a different expectation. Because I didn't want anybody—I was like, where are they going to get me? And they're going to discredit you for all the other shit. If one thing's wrong, everything's wrong. And it also makes a Jewish person I imagine who's still in the religion feel like, yeah, this guy really does—like, if you had a non-truth in there,

they'd be like, yo, fuck this guy, he's just trying to get laughs. But if everything checks out, and also when you speak about religion, there's no malice. There's no animosity. You're not like some atheists where it's condescending and patronizing. So I think they don't sense any. So it's like, oh, we're just having fun. I used to be that. Oh, really?

I went through a period of fucking idiots. Well, yeah, that's what happens when you feel like you were robbed of your time. Yeah, and then it's like, have a good time. I get it. Did something pull? When you feel like you were robbed of your time. Yeah, yeah. And then it's like, no, have a good time. I get it. Did something pull you back or was it just gross? Just enough time. Doing mushrooms all the time.

Doing mushrooms, yeah. It's not worth being angry about. Everyone's got their own path. Exactly. Like, what are we even doing? Okay, so here's one thing. This is my struggle even now. It's like, with success, less and less things bother me

or I want to complain about less things or I realize that they're not that important. So- What do you talk about? Exactly. Yeah, you need to get worked up over nothing. But I think that's- To be able to like sports or politics or something like that.

Or it's like- Well, that's the value of fucking sports for society. It's like you almost need people to be concerned about a thing. It's give them bread, give them circus. It's like, give them sports. Yeah, pop culture helps a lot. Yeah, but I just don't give a fuck as much. But right, if you don't care,

then it's like, then what do you talk about? That's why the first thing I saw you today, I was like, so how's the new stuff coming? Yeah. And that's me going, is there another thing? You can't be Jewish again. Stanhope said it at some point, where he goes, I've talked about everything

that really matters to me. Bro, I- I've worked it all out. So I was like, what am I going to recover my feelings on abortion? I don't want to do that. I really think that's the greatness of Burr is how many specials he's put out

and how consistent he's been. And even live at the Red Rocks, still fucking. The mental illness of being bothered by everything. Yeah, you stay mad. If you're mad all the time, it helps. You said this about Larry David and Larry David's not even a standup, but he's like, to be that rich.

He's bugged by things. And yeah, I'm bugged by the smallest things. I've got to find a new dentist now. Yeah. You're worth a billion dollars, and you're still bugged by stuff. Which is like an annoying way to live. You want to be Buster Douglas, but he didn't really win again. Yeah.

It's like he just got happy. So that didn't affect you at all? You said you have new now that you're writing. I have new stuff now. Yeah, it's just not. I had all this leftovers. So every time I see a homeless guy shitting on a st new stuff now. Yeah, it's just not, it's just not. I had all these leftovers. So every time I, you know, see a homeless guy

shitting on a stoop, it's like, well, that can't go in this hour, but I gotta talk about it. Are you worried it's not gonna mean as much? Well, who kicked him out of his home,

do you think? Kicked him out of his home and displaced him? No, not paying your bills kicks you out of your home. I refuse to accept. I need to blame on this. Yeah, what's the A's go up?

It's a personal choice. It's a personal choice. Yeah, get a second job. There's second jobs available. Everyone's hiring now. This is where you won the Jews back. When you said Kanye wasn't that bad, they were like, I don't know about this guy. He looked up as almost to say, see you guys? That's what I'm dealing with all the time I deal with this.

But yeah, it's like, what are we fucking... What is that for? Yeah. I'm washing my drink around you. I'm going to put this back in my pocket.

I'm going to put my water bottle back there so we don't... Yo, that is a good point. I asked him, can we get you anything? He's like, no, I brought my own. Yeah. I was like, why are you thinking there's payback? Dude, Kim Condon got me.

No. She does me an asset two years ago at the singing fest. Get out of here. Yeah, she got me good. When did you realize it? She told me. She was like, we were doing a roast, roast of Lewis. Fuck it, who throws himself a roast?

Love you, Lewis. Love you, Lewis. roast of Lewis fuck it who throws himself a roast love you Lewis love you Lewis Alex Media did it too that was a great roast though it was a fun roast that was a great roast it was a fun roast but uh but yeah

Shane fucking murdered on that roast he was great that's on YouTube go check that out Shane Gillis roast in uh oh I got boogies

oh nice but uh you should have left him leave it in there yeah it was bad it was bad thank you let's put a pill in that Shane Gillis roasts in, oh, I got boogies? Oh, nice. She left them, leave it in there. Yeah, I know, but it was bad. It was bad. Yeah, thank you.

Put a pill in that on the way back. Yeah, but she got, and then she went up and she was like, hey Ari, how was that water? I'm like,

fine. She's like, it's awesome. Everybody went crazy. Yeah. People kept texting me like, you okay? You doing okay?

We had these big bay windows, like floor to ceiling windows in the hotels they put us at. So I just opened the windows way, way up and took all the sheets off the bed and just like stared out at Houston. People were like, are you okay? I'm like, dude, yeah, I do drugs. Fucking calm. This wasn't the plan tonight, but like calm down. Yeah.

Just like, I'm on acid. Yeah. She got me good. I'll admit it. I'll admit it. This is like got me good. Hold a minute. Hold a minute. This is like full white boy. This is like full, full white boy.

This is crazy. Getting drunk and being like, oh, shit. He got me good. He got me good. I was like, that's crazy. I've been bamboozled. I mean, it wasn't bad acid,

you know? At least it was quality. Yeah, it was quality acid. It can't be that bad. I mean, that's crazy. How frequently are you doing acid? Not that often. That being dosed with acid isn't scary. Not that bad. I mean, that's crazy. How frequently are you doing acid? Not that often. That being dosed with acid is scary.

Not that often. We were at this festival, Valley Vibes. Bonnaroo got rained out. We're loading up our fucking RV with supplies. And they got the call, like, it's flooded. It's not COVID. It's flooded. I'm like, what?

So we're like, where the fuck can we go? Western Georgia. There's a small, they said three stages. And the stages were, I mean, like this. We didn't realize. We thought three massive stages. I call it a meth festival,

but it wasn't. It was just fun. Country and metal. And yeah, one day we're testing all our drugs because you have to test drugs. We've talked about this.

Guys, there's fucking fentanyl out there. You gotta test your drugs. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So our neighbors were like getting some coke. Like, how was it? Can I test it? Which I thought it meant like let me test some. No, no to test your drugs. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So our neighbors were like getting some Coke. Like, how was it? Can I test it?

Which I thought it meant like, let me test some. No, no, you put it in your... Yeah, I was like, let me try and see how good it is. It's not wasted. Yeah, yeah. It's like, oh yeah, that's good.

I'll take a pound. I don't know. I don't know what to cook with. What a weird follow-up to you've got to test your drugs. Well, I thought that's why. You test them, I stuff them in your face.

This was that same week when those four comics died. So I'm in this festival. So they tested like, hey, that's 100% pure cocaine. Definitely buy from that guy. Great. Then he's got some acid,

tested that. Like that's 100% not acid. Whoa. Like what is it? Like I think mescaline or something and it had just been dipped and the guy was like, he's like,

I fuck it all over my hands and he's like, fuck, I'm starting to fucking fly. And we're like, Oh, because it gets absorbed if it's like, fuck, I'm starting to fucking fly. And we're like, Oh, because it gets absorbed and it's acid. And they just dipped it

and it was still wet. Yeah. And we're like, you're going to be okay? He goes, yeah, same thing. He's like,

I do drugs. This wasn't the plan for tonight, but it is now the plan. I'm at the right place. I'm at a festival in Georgia. Greatest festival in the world, Valley Vibes.

Whoa. Yeah, it was just a good time. And then we're like, oh, we got to start testing. And we got out, it was just a good time. And then we're like, oh, we got to start testing. And then we got out and we're like,

four comics dead. And we're like, we really got to start testing our shit. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Is there any drug you won't fuck with? No.

I want to do heroin so bad. Wait, why haven't you done heroin? It seems too risky. You really haven't? Addiction? No. Why would he lie about heroin?

It looks like a little, a little heroin ass. I see it a little bit. But wait, you never like, snorted it? No. Why would he lie about heroin? It looks like a little heroin. But wait, you never like snorted it? No. Or never as like part of another drug? Meth? You've done meth? Yeah, we've all done meth. Yeah, speedy shit.

Yeah. Oh, all right. Never straight meth. Never straight meth. You've done Adderall. Oh, Adderall is fucking meth. Crystal meth and Adderall, I assume, are different. Crystal meth sounds darker, though, right?

Yeah, I mean, yeah, yeah, yeah. It sounds like cooler. Oh, that's crazy. Heroin is the coolest drug. Why? I don't know. It's just so cool. Because it's bad?

Yeah, it's just like, you know, writers and fucking musicians in the 70s. It's like heroin, dude. Iggy Pop. It seems like it's the coolest drug for sure. Nah. No? What's the coolest drug?

Oh, I mean, I'm sure it's cool for you. No, I've never done it. It's just of like, if you're like seeing someone on heroin. It's gotta be that good to throw it all away. Yeah, I guess. It's gotta be so good. Or, but what are you dealing with

where you are willing to throw it all away? That's the other thing. Yeah, you got nothing to throw away. I think if you took a chance, like, no, no, I'll just try it once. And you're like, this road only goes one place. Yeah, but you've got to be so sad to always go there.

Nobody happy throws it all away for heroin because you're already feeling good. But also, like, you're at a party. Like, I told this to my buddy. Banging it or snorting it? Nobody's shooting at a party. Oh, nobody shoots at a party. But everybody who said, does heroin, they're always like, how'd you do it? Did you shoot it or snort it or smoke it?

They're like, I snorted it. They always have this line in the sand. I'm like, you're always like, how'd you do it? Did you shoot it or snort it or smoke it? They're like, I snorted it. They always have this lie in the sand. I'm like, you're all fucking heroin addicts. You fucking disgusting pigs. Oh, I would never do that. You're fucking doing heroin every day, but you're better than somebody. Fuck off.

Yeah. Yeah. Heroin, it kind of- It would be offered to you. If you're in a circle and everyone's doing it, it's like this people, I told my buddy,

our friend, she has a daughter, and he was like, you think she's done coke? it's like this people. I told my buddy, our friend, she has a daughter, and he was like, you think she's done coke? She's like 20 now. He goes, no way. He goes, well, let me set up a situation for you. Let's call her Sarah. It's not her name.

But I was like, hey, Sarah, you want some coke? Like, oh, no, I'm okay. Okay, a kosh coke? Yeah, sure. Alec coke? Yeah, okay, sure. Ari coke? Yeah, sure.

Sarah, you want some coke? Sure. I'm like, all right, I'll do some. And he goes, fuck, yeah, she's for sure done Coke. Yeah. Yeah, but the heroin one is tricky. It became popular in, like, the hipster scene. Heroin did?

Yeah. When? This is, like, in the last maybe five years. Andrew's got a tie into the hipsters that people don't quite understand. Which is? You're in there, that world. You, like, go there as your, like, B-level. Periphery.

Yeah. I'm in the periphery but I've seen them partying and there's a lot of city kids and it's like, what is the naughty thing? if you're like a hipster not like a hipster like I moved here from Maine so I could be myself I'm talking about someone who genuinely is trying to be

counterculture life is dime square those people if you really want be like counterculture. Maybe we call it counterculture. Times Square? Yeah. Those people? Yeah. If you really want, like you're going to do the thing that is the most uncool drug

and heroin is probably the most uncool drug. All the great writers were on it. Yeah, but they were probably on other shit too. We just don't give it the credit.

Like they were probably drinking whiskey. We're not like, oh, whiskey is what makes you a genius. Remember when that guy was eating that guy's face and like,

it's marijuana. Shut up, dude. I'm sure he had weed in his system And like, it's marijuana. Like, shut up, dude. I'm sure he had weed in his system. Oh, in Florida? Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It was Florida in his system. Bath salts.

Bath salts. What does that mean? Bath salts. What was that? I don't know. What makes your face eat? Yeah, he had some other shit to even eat face. Yeah.

Yeah. Hunger minimum. Bare minimum. Bare minimum. He probably asked the guy for money. He's like, dude, I'm hungry. He's like, I don't have any fucking money. He's like, all right.

Well, let's do it. Yeah, you know that cartoon where you turn into a big chicken wing? You're made of food. This is great. That's a little wild. But you've done like DMT, Ayahuasca, all that shit? DMT once.

Didn't quite get there. Oh, really? Yeah, I saw fucking, I did it in my old backyard on 12th Street. Had this nice, cool backyard. I loved it. Anyway, I went out there with a chick who had done it a bunch. Smoked it off the top of a bowl of weed.

And then, like, just kind of, like, laid back. And I saw on this tree, I saw this big caterpillar. Like, it was, like, five, six hexagons like that, you know? It's a big caterpillar. It comes off the tree. It just looks at me for a minute. I'm just staring back at him, and he's just looking at me.

It was like that long. And he just goes, nah. And then just like went back. That's crazy, dude. Yeah, and I'm like, what? And anyway, that was like... That's how much of an atheist you are.

The seeing drug God was like, nah. The seeing God drug, you're like, nah, nah, nah. It's not that you don't believe in God. God doesn't believe in you are. The seeing drug God was like, nah. The seeing God drug was like, nah, nah, nah. It's not that you don't believe in God. God doesn't believe in you. God came down and he was like, I don't believe in Studio 54. And then I looked over at the girl I came out of it.

I was like, did you get that? She goes, I died and came back. I'm like, fuck! I didn't get it. Very different. Oh, that's crazy. DMT sounds lit. DMT sounds lit. That sounds funny. I was good it. Very different. Oh, that's crazy. DMT sounds lit. DMT sounds lit.

That sounds funny. I was good. Got me there. Oh, really? Yeah. Where'd you do that? In Ecuador? Ecuador, yeah.

Oh, you went for the real ceremony. In Amazonia, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Neil Brennan was like, how many ounces did they give you? I'm like, ounces? I don't know, man. It was a bowl full of fucking shit. They made you tip your head back.

Yeah, a half a coconut. Yeah. Wait, what's, okay, so when you went, is it, okay, you're still a comedian, right? So you're still analyzing this thing, like, is this cliche? Could you get lost in it? Yeah, I got lost in it. It takes you there. Okay.

Duncan said it, said, Duncan's tied to all the psychedelics. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And he said that one of those guys, Timothy Leary, one of those, like, anytime you're fighting, like, trying to hold on where you're on mushrooms and, like, trying to hold on, he goes, you just haven't done enough. He goes, if you do enough of those guys, Timothy Leary, one of those, like anytime you're fighting, like trying to hold on, where you're on mushrooms and like trying to hold on, he goes, you just haven't done enough. He goes, if you do enough of that shit, you're gone. And it's just like,

it's out of your control. Yeah, or like, was it Marnie? Not Marnie. What was that Nicolas Cage movie? Leaving Las Vegas? Yeah, your favorite actor. No, no, no. I love Nicolas Cage.

What? Mandy. Mandy? Mandy, yeah. And he tries the most powerful ass and he just goes like, they do it well. And he tips his finger

and he goes, he's just like, they do it well. He tips his finger and he goes, boom! He's just like in another world. Yeah. Yeah, if you take enough, you're gone. So this was that. It's like, you're not fighting it. But initially,

are you like looking at them in the outfits and you're like, what the fuck am I doing here? It is cool. They're wearing a fucking giant three. You think he's weird with outfits? I'm taking notes. He's a comedian.

We're comics at the end of the day. You know where he grew up? He's good at bust walls a little, but he's upset at all that comedian. We're comics at the end of the day. You know where he grew up? He's good at busting walls a little, but he's upset at all that. And he's looking at the way they dress. I'm taking notes for later. That's all I'm saying.

Okay, well, did you buy that monkey skull? Do you really? Exactly. But write it down, get it all, analyze it later. Is this the convince whitey shit?

That's what I'm going into those environments. I'm like, oh, they really got these people duped. Like, you know, I put the feathers. I haven't seen a single bird in the fucking forest.

Like, where do you get these feathers from? Like, I would go in with that perspective. I'd hopefully get to the point where I completely submit myself. But initially, I'm going to be. You're like, what is this? Yeah. It's natural. It's in the Amazon.

Everyone just does it. It's not a big deal. Yeah, we talked to one guy. We were, like, on a tour of the Amazon. We were, like, there was a serving of something. We were like, hey, I think we shouldn't need pig anymore because we're a week out from this thing. Ayahuasca, he's like, yeah, yeah, sure.

You're okay. Seven days, you're good. I'm like, have you ever done it? He goes, sure, yeah, we all have. Dude, when I was at this hotel, it's on Navajo land, right? So a lot of the tour guides and stuff are in Navajo. Take that shit. Build your fucking nice hotels on their land.

Literally, I went on Thanksgiving. It was one of the most, I didn't even realize it. I didn't even realize it. I'm there on Thanksgiving and got the saddest happy Thanksgiving on the ride to the airport

that morning. She's kicking us up at six in the morning. Happy Thanksgiving. Like literally, shoulders slunked in the front. My wife stole a dream catcher from the fucking hotel.

Like we can't take enough. She goes, you can take this home. I'm like, babe, you can take whatever you want. Follow your dreams. Follow your dreams. They do not fight back. Just take it. So I'm talking to one of our guides, this guy Dylan, who is great.

And I asked him, I was like, yo, what are the stereotypes amongst yourselves? Break down the different tribes and shit like that. And he takes a beat, he goes, all right, I gotcha. He goes, the Utes, they're the idiots. And they just started, and it was like, they're no different than growing up in New York

in the same way we think about fucking Staten Island, Jersey, Long Island. It's the exact same shit on the res. And it was so cool to see. But they all did. The reason I said this is because they all do peyote, and it's a family affair. It's not looked down on.

It's not looked down on. It is when somebody passes, like the family comes together, and the kids do it. They don't look at it as a drug that's for adults. They look at this like transcendent experience that allows you to connect with, I think, maybe the afterlife or whatever it is that they believe in but i thought that that was really cool way to look at drugs like they didn't think it was like fighting yeah they saw an old pre-columbian art

they were all like spiritual fighting yes it's the warriors and the shaman are on the same level of like respect it's like it's all part of like spiritual warfare versus like a literal war yeah interesting but i thought that was interesting right Like you're letting kids do it. Yeah, it's not looked down on at all. It's not drugs. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like, how often are you going to do it? That's the other thing.

It's limited, right? It's limited to these experiences. Like God forbid people die, et cetera. So it's kind of protected. Yeah, the guy told us that he was like all these different experiences and people like fucked with it, which he was like, don't fuck with it.

He goes, you don't eat meat. You don't have sex for this many days. Don't eat meat for this many days. Fish is okay. And then afterwards have sex for this many days, don't eat meat for this many days, fish is okay. And then afterwards, it's this many days. Lists and his wife came to visit me

right then, so they're sober, so I'm like, perfect, I'm not allowed to drink anyway. But he's like, don't fuck with it.

He goes, there was this one couple that it was like six days out, they're supposed to go eight days, they're like, we're good,

you know. And they started fighting immediately, they broke up within a year. Whoa. Yeah. But he's telling us all these different experiences. They're like, we're good. And they started fighting immediately. They broke up within a year. Whoa. Yeah. But he's telling us all these different experiences.

One of them, the crazy, well, one of them was like this guy who was like, him and his chick always had this like every seven months kind of fight. Like, he doesn't want kids, she does. And then, standard story. Put it in the back burner.

It was just going to rear its head again. Put it in the back burner, it's going to rear its head. And they did this the back burner. It's going to rear its head. And they did this ayahuasca together. And they both just stepped back from yourself. And they're just like, oh, we're just not right for each other. And then just broke up. He goes, 10 years later,

he's friends with her family. And she sees her kid sometimes. Because it was just like clear. It's like, yeah, I do love you, but you want all these things. So what do you think this is? It just helps you see clearly. Mushrooms does that too. It takes you out of yourself.

So you get to look at this guy and you don't know a little. You know you make assumptions about people. So you're based on limited amount of knowledge about that person, but you know everything about that person because it's you. And so with knowing everything about this person,

but having no ego attached to it, that's what they call it, where it's like, oh, that guy's just still mad at that chick for breaking his heart. Yeah. Oh, there's been plenty of guys like that. You can't get mad at him for that. Yeah.

Or that guy tried to fuck that guy's girlfriend. Oh, that guy was me. Oh, what am I mad at? Some guy fucking my ex-girlfriend. It's like, I've probably done that too. You can give yourself advice. Yeah, yeah, exactly. And then you're like, you just get calm.

You're like, this isn't new. It's crazy that we need drugs to empathize with what someone else is going through. Yeah. And why those interactions they're having are affecting the way that they're treating us. Yeah. Yeah, it's just like a pause. There's a little bit of a moment where you stop going,

why is the world happening to me? And then you start going, what the fuck could they be going through? Yeah. You're saying not only other people, you're saying you're able to see yourself. See yourself. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Or like you're saying you're able to see yourself. See yourself. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Or like you see like, I'm doing my first big mushroom trips in San Diego with Hinchcliffe and Damadonia and a couple other people. And then we're outside and seeing all these like homeless beggars. I'm like, but then for the first time, I was like, oh, they just got a different drug than I did. They caught crack and I caught weed.

It's like, here's $10. Like, sorry. You know, it's not your, your friends just introduced you to the wrong shit. Yeah. Yeah, you see yourself, like, calm down. I call people and just forgive them. Really? Like, it's over.

It's over. Why? What am I holding on to this dumb fight for? When did you start, what drug changed you the most and when was it? Boomers, for sure. Mushrooms. Okay. Sorry.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Yeah, mushrooms, for sure. Mushrooms. Okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, mushrooms for sure. Did it allow you to kind of like let go of that resentment? Yeah, resentment and all like what am I holding back for? Yeah. And just like little things of like, I remember Chris Fairbanks had a delivery style that I thought was really cool. Where he'd like say something, but he'd make a mistake.

And I knew it well enough because I'd seen him enough times. He'd make a mistake and then he he'd go off on the mistake. He's like, hey, nice who's. I'm like, who's? Imagine if I... And then you just go off, but he'd say shoes wrong on purpose. And I've never really seen that style before. And then I'm sitting

in my car, not able to drive yet, and I'm just like, hey, and there's Facebook. I'm like, hey, Chris, that's a fucking great delivery style. I should tell everybody this stuff more. Yeah. Just be nice to people. Yeah. Help people out.

You know, help them out. Fucking promote their special. Yeah. Get their shit done. It's like, yeah, yeah, I've been there. Come on. And it feels really good. It does feel good.

It feels good. Yeah. Hate also feels good. But a nice love will fucking get you by. Love lasts longer. Yeah. Hates that quick hit. Hates the crack. It's too easy. It's like you get. Love lasts longer. Yeah. Yeah, it hates that quick hit. It hates the crack.

It's too easy. You get it for five minutes. Yeah. Yeah. I'm curious, the first time you did any of these drugs after leaving religion, were you nervous? Were you like, oh, this is the shit I'm not supposed to do. It's going to take me someplace I shouldn't have. Mark's about to leave, bro.

I'm curious, though. I blame his priest, bro. His priest didn't come through on that wedding day. He has one shot, man. You took his line for your caption. I did, I did. You're like, sand and glass and God. Bro, I had a crazy caption.

But I was like, I don't know, something about looking at that fucking horseshoe bend, man. I felt so insignificant in the most beautiful way. It was liberating the insignificance. Sometimes you get caught up in significance and you think you matter more than you actually do. And that thought allows you to create things that are really maybe profound within the time you're living in. But it's also nice to take a break from the self-imposed importance and just look at how insignificant things are and then go, who gives a fuck?

Like, I'm upset if somebody says something about me or they think a way about me. This is gone. Yeah, instantly. So get over that. Get over that instantly. A week? I'm going to be upset for a week?

If a fly is on a piece of cheese, they're not like, well, should I be doing this? I want cheese. There it is. I'm having it. That was the other thing. When we were walking back from Horseshoe Bend,

I tried to take a picture, but it didn't work. There were, I'm looking at this thing that's 100 million years old, right? And there were so many people, and it was sunset, so everything was dark, you could barely see the people. You just saw their silhouettes. And this is going to sound so corny, I don't give a fuck.

We're all ants. We're all ants. And I couldn't see their faces or anything. I just saw these dark silhouettes, just like ants, on this thing that was massive. These tiny little creatures are crawling on this thing.

It was massive. And I was like, oh my God, that's what I see ants doing all the time when they're crawling in a flower bed or something like that. And then that moment, I'm looking at the thing that's already making me feel insignificant.

Now I'm looking at all of us slowly walking around on this thing that it's taken hundreds of millions of years to build. There's no buildings, nothing around us. And I'm looking at all of us slowly walking around on this thing that it's taken hundreds of millions of years to build. There's no buildings, nothing around us. And I'm like, fuck! I cannot let the littlest shit bother me anymore. And I will. And I will fail. Yeah, you'll get back to

it. But I hope I can have moments like that. Were you on drugs at all? No, dude. Not at all. But sometimes I can get those highs without drugs. Like, I felt the highs I've experienced from like Molly and Ec and Ecstasy through, not for as long and not as sustained, but I've gotten there just through, like, amazing experiences. I've had somebody tell me, like, meditation will get you wherever mushrooms gets you, any of those psychedelics. And it's, like, they said, they explained it, like, imagine if, like, someone's knocking on your door. You could get a butler to go open the door for you, or you could just learn through meditation to get up and open the door yourself. Ah, so the mushrooms are the— Or the butler you could get a butler and go open the door for you or you could just learn

through meditation to get up and open the door yourself. Ah, so the mushrooms are the... Or the butler. I like a butler. That's the thing. That's what I said. Just get a butler.

Just get a butler. I'm like, I'm going to take an hour to fire. The door's ringing. What are you talking about? What are you talking about doing for hours? Fuck off.

Yeah, do you want a lighter? You want a lighter or you want a fucking little something lighter? You want to walk to work? We're taking a subway. Yeah. If I read the backstory

in this fucking Fast and Furious film, I could enjoy it more. Or, you know, what are you talking about? All right, guys. We're going to take a break for a second

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slash flagrant to take ownership over your health and pick up the ultimate daily nutritional insurance. Now, let's get back to the show. Also, guys, I need to tell you about some dates I got. December 1st, I'm going to be in Tempe, Arizona. And January 14th, super excited about this, I'm going to be at the Wilbur Theater. We will sell these tickets out. You need to get them now. And January 21st and 22nd, I'm going to be in Vegas.

I'm not supposed to announce that, but I'm going to do it anyway. Who cares? Get your tickets at akashsingh.com. Now let's get back to the show. I am curious about that. You mentioned that in the special, the difference between,

because our only real Jewish authority is Sephardic. Yeah. And so he gives us his Sephardic LA version of Judaism. Sephardi are trash. Yeah. So I'm curious, what's the difference between you Jew and that Jew? Well, he'll never wear his fucking yarmulke out

except on Shabbos. He's fucking half Jews. That's a good point. That is cute, bro. That's a good-ass point, bro. Keep going, keep going. They tear their bread. They don't cut it.

They're animals, dude. They're not like full-on. They are tougher, though. Yeah. Oh, they're tougher. They are tougher. Wait, what? Sometimes he does bacon.

No, no. No, no, no. Well, he's not religious. That's the biggest thing. Well, my dad eats a lot of bacon. I'll be honest with that. No, there's one food that you do. Well, he's not religious. That's the biggest thing. Well, my dad eats a lot of bacon, I'll be honest with you. Oh, okay. No, there's one food that you do.

Our food is better after breakfast. Their food is better. The Lachma Jean and the Kippei and shit like that. Of course. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You don't have to worry about God as much as you do. Ashkenazi Jewish food is not great. No, Sephardi breakfast is fine.

You guys all like Israeli food and it's mainly Sephardic. It's mostly Sephardic, yeah. Ah. So if there's a Jewish Olympics, 100-meter dash, who wins? Sephardic. The darker ones, right? Oh, like, not even a question. No, we'll be managers.

We'll own the teams. No, no, hold on. We're actually good, like, middle distance. But you guys, I mean, some of the— Long game. Yeah, long— I will say, the one thing I realized later, Joe Harari turned me on to this, is that you guys didn't have the Holocaust.

The Sephardic Jews didn't have it. It's Syria and Iran and Jordan. It just never got there. So there's this deep, close historical thing. You know who protected them? Russians. The Muslims. The Muslims protected the Jews. The Ottomans. Well, no, the Ottomans was World War I, right?

But yeah, they were living in the... No, no, no. Moroccans love their Muslim king. Moroccan Jews, I mean. Wait, wait, wait. Oh, my name's Muhammad. Remember, yes are very... Moroccan Jews, I mean. Wait, wait, wait. Oh, my name's Mahomet. Don't do it again. Remember, yes, we did not have anything close to what the Holocaust was,

but then they did also get mainly kicked out of the country. Oh, come on! You got no tears for Palestine, but you talking about you getting kicked out of some place. This guy talking about the Holocaust all the time, you mean go through it. Hey, slavery was rough for me. Tell me which Sephardic Jews are still living... What are we talking about? What are we talking about? Holocaust all the time. You mean go through it. Tell me which. Hey, slavery was rough for me. Tell me which Sephardic Jews are still living. What are we talking about?

What are we talking about? What country are they from? Yo, that's an interesting point. What Sephardic Jews are still living in their country. Hold on one second. Hold on one second. Before he does another one of these gaslighting jokes. It's just Moroccans.

Let's just ask. I just want to ask a question. Hey, you don't know nothing about nothing with gas. Hold on one second. Hold on one second. I'm just curious. Can African Americans, not black people, like Africans that just moved here, can they talk about slavery in the same way that African Americans,

like black people in America are the descendants of slaves? There was slavery in Africa as well. Yeah, but from y'all. I mean, it's not slavery. So they have slavery there? No, but can they talk about this same? No, no, I'll say, hey. They can talk about racism.

They can talk about racism, right? Because they experienced racism in America. Yeah, but racism is not the issue, right? Everybody's going to experience some form of racism. It's if my forefathers didn't get a fair shake, your forefathers did. They got the fairest shake. Your Nigerian got a fair shake.

S-E-G-O-E-I-H. I'll just say, no, Ari, Ari, do me a favor. These unchosen little losers don't like you. Ashkenazis and Sephardis, we love you. They're going to go to hell. He called you an animal.

He's not even Jewish anymore. There was, in the old days, like in Israel, because it was like all Jews for a while. We were almost on a point here. Yeah, and the Sephardis

and the Ashkenazis hated each other. Like, and then my dad said Sephardi was dating his sister and then a bunch of their friends beat that guy up and put him in the hospital. Whoa.

No fucking Asphardy's gonna date my sister. He's like, I don't know what we were thinking back then. That was nuts. That's how white people feel about all of our fucked up shit. Yeah, that's like a fucking Irish Catholic

not in my neighborhood. Like, what? It's just a different time. Yeah. But can they complain about the Holocaust in the same way? Oh, right. That was what we're trying to get at. Well, jurors can complain.

Because their experience is fundamentally different. They can. Maybe that was wrong. You've taken away their ability to exist if you take away their way to complain. That's censorship. But can they redistribute the complaints? I'm just curious. I'm just saying, I'm just saying,

I'm just saying, can they complain the same way? Because they did not experience it. It's not something that they know. They're coming after juice. All of them. Well, not all. Not really. You guys can blend in.

You can go to Mexico and blend in. Yeah. Go to North Africa. You can't really blend in, bro. Yeah, I can't really blend in. I was in Amsterdam in front of Paul Morrison. We were walking to some bar or whatever, and this big Nigerian bouncer, he's just like,

I did whatever. He's like, okay. He goes, shalom, my brother, to me. I'm like, what? Like, sight unseen. Yeah, no, they're going to find you. But that is an interesting point. Yeah.

That is a really interesting point. You can't really complain about the Holocaust. You can't. Technically speaking. Technically speaking. You can complain about interest rates. You can do that? And have.

Are synagogues kind of segregated? If I walked into a random synagogue, is there like a Sephardim and then an Ashkenazi? No, they'll let you in. They'll let you in. What do you say when the Sephardim goes, ah, the Holocaust was so horrible for us? Dude, I love this talk right now. What do you say? It's so fun to be racist. What do you say? When they say what?

When they're like, ah, the Holocaust was so hard for us. Our people. Yeah. What was hard? Reading about it and stuff? What do you mean? Well, that diary was very depressing. Yeah, we had to read it too. Is there any conversation? No, we never really talked about too. I'm just, is there any conversation? This is very interesting.

No, we never really talked about it. To be honest, though. Why wouldn't they want us to be protective of that story? We do our fucking work to do it. That's a good point. Why didn't they come bust down and fuck with y'all and like help y'all out? They should just help us.

Yo, where are y'all? Sorry, my... Forget Schindler's Lift. What about my man's list? My grandfather fought in World War I. Suck a dick. He was in trenches. That was the wrong war.

That was the wrong war. Yeah, yeah. We had one. One was handled. You had a grandpa? You had a grandpa, didn't you? He couldn't fight in World War II? Yeah, what was he doing?

20 years later? Sequel? Just hide. Come on. Son, that's wild. Look how they do you. Look how they do you. Look how they do you.

Look how they do you. Look how they do you. Look how they do you. Look how they do you. Look how they do you. Look how they do you. Look how they do you. Look how they do you. Look how they do you. Look how they do you. Look how they do you. Look how they do you. Look how they do you. Look how they do you. Look how they do you. Look how they do you. Look how they do you. Look how they do you. Look how they do you. Look how they do you. Look how they do you. Look how they do you. Look how they do you. Look how they do you. Look how they do you. Look how they do you. Look how they do you. Look how they do you. Look how they do you. Look how they do you. Look how they do you. Look how they do you. Look how they do you. Look how they do you. Look how they do you. What do they do? Our food is so good. Please roast these little... Maybe enough roasting. See how he can make these jokes? See how insensitive he is to the roasting? This is so crazy.

It doesn't even affect him. He doesn't make the jokes. I'm sorry for his insensitivity. That's so crazy. You're talking to someone who is actually a descendant. Like an actual survivor. I've heard Sephardics say that they survived the Holocaust.

What? I have heard them talk about it. I said I have heard them. My family survived the Holocaust. The whole family. What?

They've said that? Well, we survived the Holocaust. Like everyone. Oh, I'm so sorry. Like I survived 9-11. Yeah, exactly. I was just in California.

Maybe something would have happened had we not been kicked out of Europe in 1492. Thank you again. See, he was complaining. He's got it. Spain kicked you out.

You guys were selfish. Why didn't you go east like them? You guys went south because you wanted to be near the water, you know? Some did. Hey, that you can complain about, 1492. What happened in 1942? You got no complaints.

That's what happens. You know what? Don't worry. I still get the 10%. It's fine. But what is this? I don't know. It's what happens. You know what? Don't worry. I still get the 10%. It's fine. But what is this? I don't know. It's just such an interesting thing.

It's foul, right? It's not even foul. It's just fascinating as we learn more and more about cultures. Like Jews are not a monolith. There are Jews that have experienced struggle and then there are others. And it's fine. That's okay. That's okay.

Eloquently said. I'm learning today. Yeah. Eloquently said. I think that's beautiful. So what's the ranking of Jews? Is there a power ranking? Okay, so after going through this extreme struggle.

Yeah, I mean, Ashkenazi Jews are the hottest ones. But can I ask you to say, after going through this? They make more money. Jordash is all them. But we don't know. All of Deal, New Jersey. All that city that you live in and pay rents are Syrian Jews. Oh, okay.

Yeah, Syrian Jews. Respect to them. Respect to them. In your house. Okay, listen. You live in Deal, New Jersey? Say what? You live in Deal?

No. It's called Deal? Hold on. The city is called Deal? There's no way. There is no way. The city that the Jews own is called Deal, New Jersey. Yes.

Yes. You're not even trying to hide it. I know you're not trying to hide it. You're not even trying to hide it. I know you're not trying to hide it. You're not even trying to hide it. We want to blend in. We want to blend in. I can't. I'm Moroccan.

You've got to be Syrian to be there. Syrian Jews. They even... Yeah, there's some like that. Syrians and Moroccan Jews, I think they're better or worse. Yeah, yeah. It's like all that.

And you guys are like... No, we're too blended. We don't even know anymore. Yeah, yeah. But it was very nice of you to actually finally make Israel for them because they couldn't do it. Actually, we built it. That was really sweet. We don't even know anymore. Yeah, yeah. But it was very nice of you to actually finally make Israel for them because they couldn't do it. Actually, we built it.

That was really sweet. They used us to build it. It was really cool that the Ashkenazis went in there and was like, and you don't get enough credit for that. Right? Do you know what I mean?

They're sitting on their ass making fucking baba ganoush the whole fucking world. Yeah, they're slow cooking their fucking flatbread while we're out there fucking building buildings. No, no, no.

You weren't building. No, we were building it. Okay. But you hired them to build building buildings. No, no, no. You weren't building. No. We were building it. Okay. But you hired them to build some buildings. Yes, they're all Mexicans. You Mexican Jew. You are a couple Mexicans.

Hold on. So, but that, why don't you guys get enough credit? Why don't you guys get enough credit for all that you give in the Sephardim?

Yeah, I don't. Ow. You know what I mean? Yeah. I don't know. I mean, I'll get enough credit. all that you give in the Sephardim? Yeah, I don't. How? You know what I mean? Yeah. I don't know. I mean, I'll get enough credit. And they're really harping on this food shit that they took from the Muslims. If you really want to.

If you really want to. Yeah. What did they do? What did they do? Kanye, get at me. Let's band together. And we're the righteous. I'll go in with you.

I'll rewrite your stuff. I'll spell check. That's a problem. You guys are starting to bang. I will spell check yourself, Kanye. And we can get these fucking parties once and for all. No, he's actually only mad at me. Hey, you know how I say the Holocaust never happened?

But then it didn't. It didn't. Wow. Maybe he's right. Maybe he's just more knowledgeable about our people. Wow. Kanye was honest. I mean, this is just.

You and Kanye need to team up. Start a bank together. I really mean it. Call it the West Bank. That's perfect. Do it. This is West Bank. That's perfect. Do it. This is great. I think we've actually gotten somewhere.

This is beautiful. And I'm glad that you're learning more. Thank you. About your history. Yeah. Yeah. That cush life that you were living in them 40s, man. Wow.

Wouldn't it be nice? Do you benefit from people thinking that you're Jewish? I think you've actually made. Oh, yeah. It's so much benefit. I get all the anti-Semitism and none of the benefits of being Jewish. None of the loans. Yeah, exactly.

Yeah, I've had so many people. I'm like, he's not Jewish. Like, you're wrong. I'm like, I'm not wrong. He's not Jewish. He does not. You know you're Jewish. Yeah.

Listen, I know and I experience the Jew hate. They think I'm Jewish, so anybody who hates Jews will hate me. Right, right, right. But then I don't have, you know, the great Ashkenazis to protect me. You don't have the intelligence. The intelligence of the Ashkenazis.

I just got this goy brain. You've done well for yourself. You've done well for yourself. That's not bad. Yeah. Hey, in terms of what you were saying about, like, it's pompous to create something, if you're an artist and you're like, what am I doing?

I'm just here temporarily. Why do I make something and, like, promote it and stuff? I do believe we should. It's that's your cheese for a fly. It's like, this is fun for me to do. We do need the things. Yeah. It's like, oh, I like this.

Yeah. Someone else wants to build a boat, then go fucking do that. It makes you happy. I think then it comes down to, and do you see how his fucking Ashkenazi brain just moved us away from it? Dradle brain, dude. See that dradle? He got to spinning. Yeah.

I crossed it over with Kobe and then fucking went to the hoop. That's a Mamba mentality that I have. You did. That's a good crossover. That's a good crossover. Great. And what were you doing this whole time?

Just stewing. Which is what you do well. You guys make stews. You make good stews. You guys make good stews. I've got to be honest. He's got his investment app open. Invented by an Ashkenazi. Which is very good.

No, yes, you're right. So if, I don't want to say if there's no point in life, maybe the point in life is to find our cheese. Yeah. And to find the things that make us feel good

and if that's helping other people, if that's helping our families, if that's building cool things, whatever it is. Surfing. You want to surf all day, then do that. Exactly, yeah. Do as much of the thing that brings you joy as you possibly can, without hurting other people, obviously. I've been wanting to ask you a question about your new stuff that you're working on.

Are you scared it's not going to mean as much to you? You put five years into this. It was so personal. It's so tied into your identity, how you grew up. Your new stuff can't be that. It's not. So how do you sit with that? How do you cope with that?

I put everything mentally into this last one. Yeah. Yeah. And like ready to put it out. The Lakers came after me. Couldn't put it out. The Lakers. How are. Couldn't put it out. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The Lakers. How are you guys doing this year?

What a nice dream team you got. That's funny. Yeah, put everything into it and I just can't, I can't think like this anymore. I can't think like in this, it was so much. Yeah.

That this will be back to just like, I'll have a through line, you know? It'll be like media and like, just like. Does that bother you on any level? Are you okay with that? Nah, I'm okay with it. Good. A lot of this was, what? I saw you at the stand a few weeks ago and you were talking on just like, you know, whatever

hot button topics and you were spit firing and it was great. I mean, it wasn't the Jew stuff, but I still think you're funny. Yeah, I'm doing this new thing I'll put up on YouTube sometimes where I really don't, I very much stay away from the news. I won't even like see it once in a while. If I'll see it, I'll see it in an open on a page. I'm like, no, no, no, no, no. I don't want to see anything.

So I'll hear about big stuff like the queen dying and stuff. Monkey pox. What? Monkey pox. Monkey pox. Yeah, stuff like that. But I'm like, what's in the news? And like, let's have some fun.

I don't feel like doing material. And they'll tell me something and I'll just like try to analyze it, hearing about it from the first time. And then I'll just put a clip up. I'm like, I guess this is the news to it, guys. That's the funniest way to hear about the news. It was so good. No.

I'll be honest. I like doing that. I like finding out what they care about because it's a good litmus test to like what the zeitgeist is. Yeah, yeah, yeah. What's everyone talking about? Giant gap I've ever heard for a year.

Exactly. But there's so few things that everybody gets on the same page on. It's almost like even the World Cup I don't even think we're there yet.

Maybe this game with Iran. Maybe. Yeah. Right? But it's like what do we all care about at the same time? Trump did a great job

of organizing everything. He literally united people. He really did. He got everybody to give a fuck about the same thing. It was really kind of crazy. Yeah, yeah.

There was a guy who worked next door to Cafe Wa, black dude. And after Trump got elected, it was just like people were like in this daze. Remember that? Yeah. And he was just going, we did it. We did it, right? And they were like, what? And they were like, Trump, right?

He was like, ah. He was having so much fun with it. I've never seen New York sad in the day after Trump won. You could feel it in the stage. They were staring. Did you guys get, were you guys all here when it happened? Yeah. The way the women would stare angrily at you.

Like you're on the subway and they're just like, you want to be like, I didn't even vote. I didn't do it. I didn't get those things. You didn't get those? They knew who you voted for. Exactly. This guy's jerking off into a MAGA hat. Of course they're going to give him a couple weird stares. Yeah.

He did unite everybody. He did. He organized shit. For the first time in so long. Exactly. Nobody gave a fuck. Nobody gave a fuck. But they cared about being on a side.

Right. So that, yeah, you're right. You'll get what the crowd, everybody's thinking about. And that's what I'm so curious about right now. I think like what often happens to us is, I don't know, how much regular shit you're doing. What do you mean? Like, I don't know, how much regular, how much are like you, are you only hanging out with comics?

Another bad thing. Oh, right. Not living life. How many regular people are you like interacting with? Like all my friends are starting to have kids, which is even more isolating. Now they're not regular. They're not at the bars. They're not complaining about issues like, like dating issues are the most simple things.

So it's like my way of like connecting and finding the pulse. And sometimes people throw some shit out that I don't even, I don't even know that they still care about. Right. And then it's like my way of like connecting and finding the pulse. And sometimes people throw some shit out that I don't even know that they still care about. Right. And then it's also what matters to you. So it's like,

I fucking hate these guys who have kids and don't fucking hang out anymore. If it bothers you, it's like, we're all at a Super Bowl party. Don't show up for your fucking toddler

to a Super Bowl party. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Let it bother you. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You got to spike a bottle, bro. That would be fire, dude. Oh. A little breast milk?

Yeah. A little tab in a breast milk? Spike the breast milk, dude. Yeah, bro. That would be fire, dude. A little breast milk? Yeah. A little tab in a breast milk? Spike the breast milk, dude. Yeah. Or just spike the woman and have her. Breastfeed. Double spike. Dude, have the toddler speak in like full sentences.

I like that. One suck, and it's like, oh, that was pretty good, Mom. You're like, what? What did you say? You're like, you just talked for the first time in a complete sentence? Yeah. First words were complete and not in the correct sentence.

I was like, did you spike my baby? They're like, no, I spiked you. That's why you think he talked. You're like, oh. That's what it was.

That's how they do it in They Might Be Shadows. If you want to get drunk, they just drink drunk people's blood. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. The vampires? Yeah, I'm like, oh, fuck that.

I've heard that shit. It's great. It's great. Best thing to come out of Staten Island. Sal included. It's great. Best thing to come out of Staten Island. Sal included. There's a, it's so funny, man, how little people care anymore. There's this Balenciaga ad. Did you do that?

Oh, yeah. Touch your radar at all? Nope. So Balenciaga put out this ad where they had like a toddler holding a teddy bear that was in like bondage straps. Right? Cool. So, and everybody's coming out if it's their kids oh yeah but usually the kid stuff just kind of organizes everybody everybody can get on the

side of like don't treat kids poorly yeah and i feel like even this kim kardashian felt like she had to fucking address it and even this address it everyone has to address it publicly everyone's acting no one asked but look at this This is what I'm talking about. No one's really upset by it. You might just be a little bit like, mm. I think people are low-key upset. Beyond disturbing. Disturbing's not a good enough word. They're upset because they dropped. It's beyond disturbing.

No, no, no. It's they're upset because they dropped Kanye for being immoral or unethical. And now we're having babies show up with like bonded teddy bears. So it's like, so what is it? Yeah, what are you talking about? And they're mad about the court document that was in the picture. You heard about this?

What? Oh! So in one of the— Yeah, this is wild. This is legit wild. In one of the pictures—I can pull it up if you want—but in one of the pictures, basically, there's a picture of, like, paper that's, like, behind, like, Balenciaga products. And one of the papers is from a Supreme Court trial in, like, 2006, that they gave, basically saying that child pornography wasn't free speech or something like that.

So it was literally like court documents related to child pornography from the Supreme Court. And people were like, why is that? Whose idea? How do we not know whose idea this was? So Balenciaga is now suing the creative agency and the guy that came up with the ad. It's like Nike suing a sweatshop. Yeah, they're blaming the set designer. Like, you know where the fucking shit is made.

Get the hell out of here. Come on. Yeah. You don't just start doing this shit. This is your thing. Yeah. Like, I guarantee we look at this other guy's work, we're going to see some other weird shit with kids in there. Yeah, so, like, this is, like, from the thing.

And basically, if you zoom in and, like, read what this. Oh, no, that's Snoop. Core case is. Wow. That's why it's actually a thing. And then it also confirms all these people that are like,

oh, elites are like, you know, fucking baby blood. Have you tried baby blood? I would. Yeah. Yeah, it's not readily available. I mean, you can make it a bit.

No place. You're close to Illuminati level, dude. You can, if I knew anyone who could get me some. Okay. I know.

We got some Sephardis hooked up to like one of those dairy cows. Fucking avid fans. If someone offered you a piece of human flesh, but it was ethically sourced, would you eat it? I've already thought. We've all thought about this, right? You say yes?

I say yes. Alex says yes. I'm not necessarily against that. Well prepared. We're not talking about street food. Let's say a guy got his leg amputated, and it was his own leg. He's the chef, and he makes— What was the reason for the amputation?

It was purely he just wanted to. Does it affect his ability to cook food? No. I'm in. There's no really reason. Yeah, I'm not against that. I'm not against that. Yeah, I don't even eat cows.

Yeah, yeah. You have a reason to be out. Cow's different. Cow's different. Cow is different. Yeah, no. Humans aren't holy. That's a good point. That's God, yeah. You have a reason to be out. Cow is different. Cow is different. Cow is different. Yeah, no. Humans aren't holy. That's a good point.

I don't know. That's God, dude. We're all God. Okay. Yeah. It's not just the cows. Okay. Do your parents hate that you're on this podcast?

No. My mom fucking loves Andrew. It's so funny. Loves him. Your mom's the best. Talks about him all the time. Texts him on Thanksgiving. She does. She does. She's the best. Shes about him all the time. Texts him on Thanksgiving. She does.

She does. She's the best. She's the sweetest. His mom is genuinely the sweetest. Listen, Ari, I think you put out a great piece of work, man. I'm super stoked for you, and I'm glad that people are loving it. I'm glad that you were able to create something you were proud of, and then people got to see it.

Because I think that's a big barrier. A lot of us want to create things. There isn't a spot for it. And even if we do, we don't know how to get it out to people. And this one, you fucking knocked out of the park, man. It's nuts. You see it. Because I think that's a big barrier. A lot of us want to create things. There isn't a spot for it. And even if we do, we don't know how to get it out to people. And this one, you fucking knocked out of the park, man. It's nuts the way that-

You deserved it. Yeah, thank you. I would like to say the one negative is I am now broke. I put too much of my money into this to make it look sick. But haven't people seen it?

You're getting- People are contributing, right? They're- They're starting to contribute. I did the Edinburgh model of just like, hey, if you like it, after you've seen it, kick me some cash.

Give me a dollar. Yeah, and you can tip on YouTube. You can tip right on YouTube. Yeah, yeah. So yeah, if you guys want to fucking help me not be broke, be able to afford, you know, I don't know, high-level Perrier, just throw a fucking buck in there.

I don't know, throw more in. Somebody give me $1,000. Really? Oh, that's dope. Oh, that's sick. There's Theo Vaughn. Just. Yeah, but other people have done like 100.

Yeah, but like. Go support, man. Go watch it. Just watch it. Share it with your friends on Christmas. Watch it with your friends on Christmas. Yeah. Yeah, go check it out.

And then I'm sure you're going to be touring, and I think that's where it comes in. Yeah, for sure. I'll make my money back that way. And they get to see you. I don't know. I think it's really cool, especially for you're going to be touring. And I think that's where it comes in. Yeah, for sure. I'll make my money back that way. And they get to see you. I don't know. I think it's really cool, especially for you and just knowing you. You were the first guy, I don't know if you know this, but when I was going out to L.A.

The hole. Even before the hole, I asked you if you could get me up at the comedy store. And you made a call to get me up at the comedy store. When Suze said, I asked you, that could have gone any which way. And I'm like, yeah, I was good. No, you were like, yeah. And you got me up at one of the shows at the comedy store, and it was fucking, and this was back before the store was. Yeah, when it was dark.

When it was depressing. Next time I come back, we're going to talk about that. It was a fucking rough place, dude. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But it was really cool that you did that, man, and I always appreciate that. And I'm stoked for you, man. This is great. It's great that people that don't know you get to see this version of you.

Yeah, yeah. I think that is really awesome. Instead of like, I don't like this or that, I'm like, well, I'm just a comic. The rest is all promotion shit. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Any last thoughts before you get out of here? You know, I never really, this is great,

I've never really thought of how shitty Sephardic people were before. Right. So I would like to thank you guys for getting me. Look at the fucking dumb fucking... Overbite. Is there a place you could put them in Israel? Is there another place?

A ghetto? Just a section. Is there a little section we could carve out? Yeah, maybe a third section. Yeah. Yeah, nobody's using Palestine. Nobody's using Palestine. I'm doing shit with it.

Dude, the ideas you have, bro. They're absolutely fucking genius, man. These guys are geniuses, man. Yeah. We appreciate their contributions. See, they're falling in line. They're falling in line, dude. Last parties, it's all done.

I didn't realize you were pimping them out, though. That's so crazy. That is kind of crazy. Just making them do your bidding. That is a little bit crazy, dude. They're so tough. I mean, Mark is scared. He's moved further and further away from me on the couch.

Yeah, I created a partition. It's the first time he's touched a black eye. I know. That's true. I know. It's like the scene of Beethoven. I've got to pick my two fears. I'm like, oh, no.

You know you ain't seen Beethoven. I know. You know you ain't seen that. I know the scene, though. You know you ain't seen that I know I know the scene though You know you ain't seen that goddamn movie He's got to pick his owner You know you ain't seen

the movie You know the scene though What? You had three seconds of that and you're like please nobody call me on it I haven't seen any movie I haven't seen any movie

I'm going to watch that one Guys Ari Shaffir Jew not only who he is but also his fucking special on YouTube go watch it right now I haven't seen any good. I'm going to watch that one. Guys, Ari Shaffir. Jew. Not only who he is, but also his fucking special on YouTube. Go watch it right now. I'll be in Vancouver and Seattle.

And go to AriShaffir.com. Lots of stuff. AriShaffir.com for all my dates. AriShaffir.com. Check out his dates. You'll see him at comedy clubs here in New York and the city. But if you want to go check it on the road. I'll be at the Beacon first time. Whoa, whoa, whoa.

It's not on sale yet. Whoa, whoa, whoa. When is it going on sale? March 24th. I don't know. I got to get it on sale. Yeah, you do. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. When is it going on sale? March 24th. I don't know. I got to get it on sale. Yeah, you do. March 24th.

Yeah. March 24th. We just decided to book it. It's massive. Unbelievable, dude. The biggest room I've played until now is 18 people. It's a high of people. Things are looking up, baby.

Things are looking up. All right, so here. Make sure you go check it out. Hey, here's a prediction before we leave. Yeah. Within, before 2025, Andrew Schultz will play Madison it out. Hey, here's a prediction before we leave. Yeah. Before 2025, Andrew Schultz will play Madison Square Garden. Hey!

That'll be sick. And I will be there taking tickets. Peace!