Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh - How To PLEASE A Woman w/ Khalyla Kuhn & Esther Povitsky

Episode Date: February 24, 2022

Flagrant 2 is a comedy podcast that delivers unfiltered, unapologetic, and unruly hot takes directly to your dome piece. In an era dictated by political correctness, hosts Andrew Schulz and Akaash Singh, along with AlexxMedia and Mark Gagnon, could care less about sensitivities. If it’s funny and flagrant it flies. If you are sensitive this podcast is not for you. But if you miss the days of comedians actually being funny instead of preaching to a quire then welcome to The Flagrancy. Join the Patreon Asshole Army: http://bit.ly/2xQwHYf

Did you have sex with your brother? I had sex with a boy who I was told after I had sex with him that he could potentially be my brother. He does look like me. There are whispers in the family. You know what? I fucked my brother. Why not fuck my child?

I think we've got the start of the pot. I quit doing anal in high school. I think it's a high school girls game like i think that's when you do it get it out of the way right same with sex tapes like i did him in high school i'm done now um but yes when i was just talking about yeah al has a friend who filmed a sex tape in high school a friend it was more like a girl's gotten wild tape. Ah, yeah. Okay, so you have these sex tapes from high school. They are illegal child porn now, so they have been destroyed. You don't watch them anymore?

No. But if you did, would it be wrong? We just were having this conversation. Okay, I'm so glad you're bringing this up because- Yeah, we're going to get to anal in a second. I recently came across it on accident. Sure. Disgusting. I'm calling the it on accident. Sure. And.

Disgusting. Yeah. I'm calling the police right now. I accidentally took my DHS and put it into my. I swear there's, I swear I can back that up, but it's not worth it. But basically I,

I talked about it. What were you backing up? I talked about it openly on our show trash Tuesday. And I got all these messages saying that, like, that you can't talk about that. It's illegal. And I'm like, but it's me. I own it. And everyone was like, no, you'll get arrested for it.

So we had it deleted because I was like, is this a... It's weird, though. I felt comfortable with it. It's my body. It's me. But it's illegal. Was it your body with guys? Well, why did you have to say guys?

But it was. Yeah, why was it plural? I had a feeling it was multiple. There was one that had multiple people. I knew it. It was all girls. Oh, it was just girls. But I knew, because it seemed like you like company.

It wasn't even for like sexual thing, but it was more like a slumber party. That is such a friendly way of telling me that I seem lonely. You like company. Yeah. But yeah, I'm not allowed to have which i think is unfair like you and other girls i don't see that as that bad if there was like if you were watching like underage dudes have sex with you like that'd be kind of creepy why is that creepy but because you and like underage girls it's like swimming like i'm sure you have swim meet stuff. That's also because you don't think lesbians are sex.

Yeah, I also don't think that that's necessarily sex. I kind of view sex as penetration. I don't view it as like. It's very biblical of you. Yeah, I'm biblical. Dude, I'm biblical as fuck, dude. So you're saying. Yeah.

If a lesbian was elbows deep in my asshole, but that's not penetration. Now we're back to anal, and I'm glad that we got here. And I'm going to go wash my hands. Elbows deep? Elbows deep. Could you use your asshole as a motor when you swam? I don't know.

Why is there the assumption that I'm talking about myself? Although I did, when I had a colonoscopy at the age of 28 they asked me two questions okay said it might be you think it could be autoimmune or do you get fucked in the ass no yeah your doctor said that yeah because i had proctitis like i had inflammation in that area and i had a colonoscopy because I was there was like I was shitting blood Did you tell them that you were just getting fingered by that tree person? Do the fist of 12 is crazy

I think that's it. I think I want it I think that's it. I think I want it. Okay, wait, for real? They really asked you that? They asked me that. They were like, what are your sexual practice? Well, they didn't explicitly say that, but they like insinuated that it might have something to do with,

you know, my sexual practices. And I, to be fair, I had just been railed in the ass. Really? All summer in Spain. And in Spain even? Yeah, in Spain. This was before bobby this was this was pre my sweet you know love of your life yeah shout out to bobby i love bobby

i'm glad he's healthy yeah he's better he is better i fixed him he fixed him okay good but you are not fixed yet i'm no i'm as broken as broken okay this is good my asshole but from the spanish man right oh yeah. And why ass? What was the deal with that? I don't know. Because they needed a way to heal my asshole. No, no. Why did he just want to have sex with your asshole?

You know what? There was a trend in Spain. A trend in Spain. Spaniards and Filipinos have a history, I think. That's right. A big history. I think that's what it is. This isn't the first time he's talked to you in the ass.

I think it's a colonial thing. Yeah. He colonized my asshole all over again. Oh my God. And you let it happen. I let my people down. You should have pegged him. That's the payback.

Wait. Genius. Maybe I have a misconception here, but I always thought that when anal is on the menu, everyone goes for it. It's just a matter of is it on the menu or not. Don't like it personally. Guys don't like it. Just girls like anal well gay guys like yeah gay guys like but yeah guys don't like anal okay wow we've been bamboozled guys like to get it out of the way

though yeah we want to know we did it just in case there's some other guy out there who did it to you and he doesn't have anything over us yeah like i have to do the most things to you but i don't want to do those things. It's just there's these fucking losers that you let bang you in the ass for a summer in Spain, so now I have to go push shit just so I can feel like I beat him or at least I'm equal. You got to plant the flat.

Literally. You think Russia wants to go to the moon? You put a flag there, so now I'm like, fuck! We got to go there. We got to do it. I don't know if you're the spokesperson for male sex, though. I am. But you only have sex on your back.

I only have sex on my back. So I don't know if you're like the spokesperson for male sex though. I am. But you only have sex on your back. I only have sex on my back. So I don't know if you're necessarily. Have you ever done anal on your back? That takes a strong dick, bro. That takes a strong dick, dude. Yeah. And that's more empowering for the woman. You only have sex on your back?

Mostly. For her. That's what. Yeah. A hundred percent. We would never work. We would just fight over the remote but that's fine

but really you don't do any other position no I back is really where I shine just laying there why is that? lazy you guys are both lazy why is it for you?

for me I can control my orgasm better wait really? yeah oh yeah if I'm in any other position, I like, I'm too like addictive. What, like it's just

going to come out quick? No, it's like, ooh, that feels good. And I'm like, I can probably do this a little longer and then no. You know, like I chase it.

I don't know how to pace myself, but if the girl's on top, she's controlling what feels good for her. Right? So I can't chase it as much. Should we ask them about? Yes. feels good for her right so i can't chase it as much should we ask them about yes will you ask will you ask so on our show we have this theory that like it's a very feminist

movement to be pro skull fucking skull fucking okay what is that what is that i love it come on please take over i don't think it's a feminist movement as much as it's just the laziest move on earth. Can you explain skull fucking for us? I think that blowjobs are an absolute chore and I would rather just sit there and not move my neck muscles and would rather just be penetrated.

Does that make sense? I don't want to do the work. It's a very lazy role. It's the laying on your back a blowjob. Yes We feel like it's really been Branded as this thing where you're like you're destroying the girl, but we're here to rebrand it and be like no This is actually better for us. I think you better for that. Yeah to be skull fucked. Yeah, I don't like it Cuz you're I you know, I understand because you want to be on your

back because i want to be on my but it needs a better name though school fuck is so dude i was getting that's standing up once and uh well you would give it i was getting head standing up once and i started to get tired and put my hand on my hip and there's nothing like literally i was just kind of like this. I had one hand openly like that. And yeah, I just can't do it. It was too much standing. You have blood pressure issues.

I might have blood pressure issues. I don't like just standing in place. It's either I have to walk or lay down or sit down. Sciatica, maybe. Because I spent a whole year in Spain. That'll do it. You've also been colonized. 100%. No, I'm curious about this. So Skullfucking, you guys are trying to rebrand. That'll do it You've also been colonized 100% But the

No no I'm curious about this So skull fucking You guys are trying to rebrand I don't even like The skull fucking I'll be completely Honest with you

I don't like The skull fucking Why? Because you don't I don't like the skull fucking My wife Mark I have a wife You don't want to do the effort

No it's not about effort Yes it is No it's not Yes it is You come home from a long day You come home from a long day You pop a blue chew You lay on your back yeah you want to be serviced i actually do like to be serviced yeah i know like a king treatment yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah that's why

you just get abused on this podcast by these pieces of shit you're getting school fucked right now that's what it feels like the great thing about skull fucking is that if there is teeth involved it's not our fault that's's your fault. You're the operator. No, no, no. It is operation. If there's a nick on that dick, it's not my fault. Interesting. No, no, I think that's your fault because you have to

open up wide. Nope. Don't tell me how to open if you're controlling. I don't want to. You control my mouth. Open it for me. Okay, here's the thing. All of that is terrifying to me that's too much responsibility during a blow job because now i'm worried during a blow job am i skull fucking her the way she wants to be skull fucked it's not for us you just said it's for you no you just said it's the most feminist thing in

the world because we don't have to do anything exactly so we're am i providing you with the skull no we're providing our mouths to you we're like just do what you need to do and then we'll we can all go back to our separate rooms yes it seems very passive yeah this seems like you just ruined skull fucking for all guys who like it maybe is that the trick no no i can't do this i'm not into the skull fucking thing i do i want it to go as far as the skull fuck goes in terms of how deep in your mouths it goes of course of course not but i want you to do that like there's something so hot. Okay. You know, backroom casting couch. You ever watched that kind of porn? Yeah,

of course. I don't like it. I don't like it as much when like he's fucking them. I like it when they are sitting down on his dick. Cause it's like, they're fucking themselves. Feminist. Feminist.

No, no, no, like, like, like, like, like,

like, they're just like, I'm ruining my own life. Do you know are feminists. No, like, who are you? They're just like, I'm ruining my own life. Do you know what I mean? Do you know what I'm saying? Right, like, I'm making the worst decision ever, right? He's not doing it. He's just innocently like, you want to make $1,000, $5,000?

You know what I mean? Right, it's up to you. I don't think it's ruining their lives but it does seem like hard to come back from right is it well would you do it no but that's just me and that's only in high school yeah um would you say that you maybe identify as like being submissive in the bedroom then so here's the thing don't like that i i wouldn't i know i had a feeling i feel like i'm getting fucking cucks right now okay i'm gonna get really angry i'm gonna turn to nate from fucking euphoria dude i'm only two

episodes in i don't know what his character does but two episodes in he's a pretty angry season first season oh yeah it's a wild ride. It gets worse? Yes. Okay. So far, he's just a really protective guy over a girl he really likes. He's just getting dicked down in pools. And he's kind of into the trans shit. Are you a Nate? I don't know what that means. Yeah, he is.

Wow. I don't know what that means. He is. But all I know so far is I don't want to skull fuck you and I don't want to fuck you in my ass. I don't want to fuck you in the ass and I don't want to skull fuck you. And you don't want to be submissive? I don't wanna skull fuck you. And you don't wanna be submissive? I don't wanna be submissive.

He just doesn't wanna label that as submissive. That's also that. Yeah. I'm an aggressive passive. Mm. You're a power bottom. Power bottom! Finally we understand what I am in bed.

Yes. Yes. That is a thing. Is it really? Yeah, you just thrust upward. That's like your finishing move, but it's really boring. Oh, fuck. Not for you.

It's fine for you. That was like the best thing my wife ever experienced in her life. When I hit her with that popcorn. Every once in a while, them kernels start popping. What? No? Just a little pop, pop, pop, pop. Give her that back. You know that little move, right?

Yeah, that's the best. Y'all want to enjoy the popcorn? Take you to the movies? Put a little butter on it? Never? No, I'm down with that. What do girls want? What do girls want in sex?

Ask Esther what she wants. Okay, Esther, what do you want from sex? I'm like, we're the same. We're cut from the same cloth. I want to lie there. Maybe I'll throw in a little help here and there, but I'm like more submissive. Don't.

You and I are not like that. Yeah, we are. No, no, no. Group of men. Group of men. You and I are not like that at all. You like being submissive. i i am a power bottom you're not a power bottom no i'm really not exactly okay because you can't pop i i guess yeah i guess i don't prefer to pop we're currently in a love triangle show the tattoo oh yeah i have palyla's name on my arm now i now i've had a little research done i heard that that tattoo can go away it does go currently in a love triangle. Show the tattoo. Oh, yeah. I have Kalilah's name tattooed on my arm.

Now I've had a little research done. I heard that that tattoo can go away. It does go away in a year, but I probably will re-up. Honestly, I'll re-subscribe. I kind of feel like Kalilah is like a stripper I fell in love with. And I just needed her name on my body. And we would work out because I am not submissive unlike both of you yeah so does that mean

Bobby is yeah Bobby is just tired yeah that's what I am too is this a comedian thing like what's going on he's pre-diabetic and he's tired so Papa's gotta lay on his back

aren't we all pre-diabetic everybody can pre He's pre-diabetic and he's tired. So Papa's got to lay on his back. Aren't we all pre-diabetic? Technically. Everybody can pre-diabetic. You either are or you're not. No, you're just at the border. Then you're not. Yeah, but you're there.

No, but that's like a sympathy thing. It's like a way of doctors. I'm pre-diabetic. You're Russian troops, bro. You're Russian troops. You're at the border. No. Yes, you're about to invade. Is it war or is it not war? But the pre-diabetic thing, I don it war is it not war but the pre-diabetic thing

i don't i don't buy i don't buy the pre-diabetic okay that being said it's a real thing no it's such a real how many does he have he has all his toes right he has what he has all his toes right still yeah but they could get amputated three years from now if he just tips over that you know diabetic line that you say doesn't exist i believe diabetic line exists okay i believe diabetes exists but i don't believe pre-diabetes okay because we're all pre-diabetes if we don't have diabetes i believe you know i'm pre-dead i'm pre-dead right now guys i i'd be very careful because i could die i'm pre-dead okay right same you're pre-dead i identify as pre-dead and not just like the way you have sex but just pre-dead is a state yes that we're all in but you were bringing that up for one specific reason the diabetes no i was bringing it up to explain why bobby needs to be on his back it's

not a choice he needs it just his body requires that he does minimal movement but it's okay like i think that i've um i naturally have the um you know the desire to take over sexually anyway really yeah and how often do you guys have sex um in the last during the pandemic it died i mean it died a painful death nothing happened to anybody everybody was fucking during the pandemic yeah the opposite thing yeah no the pandemic was like a slow period for me too yeah we talked about it on our podcast if something happened um video games happen being home just being like desensitized to each other yeah when you're always there it's just like you kind of need to go out and then come back and do it yeah we were still out that's the thing yeah we

were we moved to miami we're like doing things you guys are in la everything shut down yeah and then we were like so you know super sexualized by miami yeah like i had sex missionary like crazy dude mish like once a week i just get on top it's fire right it's the best there we go now i want to go to miami and get sexualized that sounds fun you gotta chill out you gotta chill out you'll get sold into slavery if you go to miami you can't wait now now now before your, would you have guys, because you obviously look much younger, would you have these creepy older dudes

trying to live out this safe version of a fantasy? I didn't know it until kind of after the fact, but I did have one guy, and I didn't realize this in the moment, but now I know it's weird. He asked me to wear white, plain cotton panties and I'm like that's very childlike I think right it's virginal yeah it's like I was kind of like no I'm not gonna do that what are your thoughts on white virginal panties I need to know the intention because

part of me admires these guys don't't do that. For asserting their needs? No, they're pedophiles, but they're obeying the rules. They didn't choose to be pedophiles. They have to find something that's as close to the sun as they can go, right? To the sun. Right, exactly. And then it's like, hey,

you might get something out of it as well. You're like, oh, this guy loves me in a way I've never been loved. Yeah. No, I think you're right. Pedophiles don't choose to be pedophiles. And if they're finding a way to cope with it by fucking me, like, cool. Right. Sounds good.

It's like Blade. You know that like vampire like doesn't eat people. Like he just has his serum. Yeah. You're the Blade serum for pedophiles. Vamp life, dude. Let's go. It's vamp life, dude.

Yeah, no. I think you're totally right. Now, I don't think that you have to submit your body to that. No. That being said, you could save a lot of kids if you cared about kids more than yourself. Okay.

Community service. People go case by case. Do you ever think about pranking a pedophile like you hook up with them like play a kid and then like start saying things

from the 80s like and like I got you Transformers is crazy remember the cartoon and they're just like they throw up

they're so disgusted just shrivel up inside do you think that'd be a good show for you guys possibly I have a question for you okay she's taking over dude i'm laying on my back i'm chilling go with pedophilia yeah can you

role play as two adults for me why would you know why are you going to me dude as two consenting adults yeah can you pedophilia role play? I always wonder this. Always? Yeah, you would wonder it. No, it's because I recently... Oh, these white panties. I wonder about these panties.

Her fiance is sweating right now. No, no, no. Come on, boys. Hold me down. We've never done that, but I recently got into role play. Okay. And I've had p i talk about in my stand-up but i've had people ask me if i do the young thing and i i'm questioning

is like school girl role play wildly inappropriate what is role play like what what what do people get out of that shit can you guys explain a very submissive thing to say yeah that is super power bottom maybe it is i might be a fucking total sub, but like, come on, what are we playing? What a sub, dude. Well, when you've been in a relationship for nine years, you kind of have to like invent things. And also, it's like make believe.

It's fun. You get to like make a character. I think you guys just love acting. Like you're like Hollywood people. No, we don't want to. Bobby is tired of fucking Kalilah. We want to fuck other people. So we become those other people.

We've been together a decade. What is the shoe one? Oh, yeah. Like I've been he's been an aristocrat and I've been a shoemaker. Like that's a role play that we do. Yeah. It's like I go door to door making clogs for rich aristocrat and I've been a shoemaker. Like that's a role play that we do. Yeah. It's like I go door to door making clogs for rich aristocrats. And he's one of the aristocrats that I size. So what do you say?

What do you say when you show up? Good, sir. You know, stuff like that. That's fine. And then. And you're not dying laughing during this whole thing? What? I die laughing.

Does Bobby have an accent too? He does. He's a very rich, fat Chinese man. He's not even Korean. He's Chinese. That's his dream. He switches.

Yeah. Yeah. But yeah, that's one of the things we do. That's his role play. To play somebody we couldn't tell the difference.

Huge stretch. Huge stretch. Do you just go over there and just bind his feet that just seems crazy imagine if well there's another that's what leads me to my question we have a character he plays which is called virgin brandon that really gets me off age has not been determined but he's likely very young. Okay. And very, very thankful that, you know, older Susan, me, is giving him this chance to. Can I tell you something? Uh-huh. I, if, I'm 100% certain if you were a teacher, kids would get fucked.

I'm 100%. And not in like a, I want to take advantage of them way. In like, you'd see like this like sad, distraughtraught kid and you'd be like I can make him feel better. I can heal him and I can take him under my wing. I know that. But I only. The good molester. I have a kink for old fatties.

I've never been with guys younger than me. I like them old and fat. Why? I don't know. You feel safe? It's a dad thing. Is there a security thing? Old fat and Chinese. But is it a security thing? It's like okay. I'm old old and fat. Why? I don't know. It's a dad thing. Is there a security thing? Old, fat, and Chinese.

But is it a security thing? It's like, okay. I'm old, fat, and Jewish. You're old, fat, and Chinese. But maybe sometimes there's security there. It's like, oh, this guy's not going to leave me. Yeah. Possibly.

Possibly. Although, I was just going to say that he's almost left me several times, so that doesn't actually work out. Why? Why? No, I'm just a crazy person. did why what happened what was the beef no like i just mean that i am usually the problem in the relationship and so like if it were to end it would be be him leaving me i think and what do you do to cause these problems oh you know we started dating when I was in my early 20s. So I was just like a crazy person and, you know, demanded moving in together.

And, you know, I was an ultimatum girl. And I don't think guys like that. Oh, wow. Yeah. Are you an ultimatum girl? Yeah. You got to try role play. I think you would like it.

Yeah. What's your role play? Yeah, role play is fun. I have a few different ones. Just like a heterosexual male? Yeah. You could role play as a dom. That could be fun. Dom um you could roleplay as a repairman and a homeowner so you're a repairman maybe your your wife could be a homeowner okay how would she afford the okay well i guess it

doesn't work if you okay yeah oh no it's yeah it's a fantasy thing you could do cheerleader and football player that could be fun okay you could be a cheerleader okay honestly i can't i can't do it i bet you could i swear i because i was like you i was shy crying laughing i thought it was really funny and sometimes i do get a little nervous and giggle but like it's still hot and you still keep going with it i have a character called neighborhood girl oh and um she's just a girl in the neighborhood who comes by the house. Maybe she wants to fuck you. She might want to rob you.

It's kind of a thrill. That's the role I play. Do you rob them sometimes? No, I've never robbed him. Well, not in the role play, but do you – is there something like that's maybe an extension of you that's just like a little different version of you that you would feel like the chef in the server extra sexy no what if she was something

extra sex what if you were you she can't get sexier oh all right guys we're gonna take a break for a second because i gotta make sure your lungs aren't getting torched okay and the way you're gonna do that is you're gonna start smoking freeze pipe. This glycerin chamber right here, this bad boy right here is going to protect you and make sure that smoke goes down smooth. I remember when we were younger, back in the day, I was living in Spain, not bragging, just telling you the truth. We were creating the first version of freeze pipes. Now, it wasn't that fancy. We didn't have this glycerin right here, which is so much better. We would cut a two liter bottle, cut the top off or the bottom off. I forget stuff, a bunch of ice cubes in there and then smoke it through that.

So it would cool the smoke. It was so much better. This is that times a million. Okay. Honestly, game changer. Freeze pipe is the one, the one that you need to use. And this is what's going to happen. It gets even better.

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to the show but what if you guys are both Scottish I will then that could be good that would be really hot no no what I will say is like

like if we're being if we're being serious if we're being serious he's not having any of this He's not having any of this. You're deflecting so hard. No, I'm not, yeah. I'm not sure you guys are both Scottish.

You're a Highlander, okay? And she's just a nurse trying to heal you after you got your arm cut off in the Battle of Kalata. How are we going to fix you guys? Yes! Now we're doing it! We're role-playing! And then an Italian comes in the room. I'm taking notes

no no what I will say is like maybe this is like an extension of drunk sex so it's like reducing inhibitions and maybe through the character you have no inhibitions because this is what the character is saying so you get to kind of access

a part of yourself that's actually more real you absolutely nailed it so it's like you really want to be these things exist within you kind of access a part of yourself that's actually more real you absolutely nailed it right that's yes right so it's like you really want to be these things exist within you and the character is just the comfortable way to be the neighborhood girl you really just want to go in there and just start taking shit or like seduce him or be fucked up and then anytime that like cringe moment or the embarrassing thing happens you get to go no this is just the character totally i so it's like a safe version of that i just just use alcohol for that.

That works too probably. I've never tried that either, so I don't know. But what I would say is that now I understand it, why people wanna do that. Sometimes we wanna just get out of our heads. And that's what the character thing is. Stone cold sober, you guys will go, well obviously, you're sober, right?

I rarely drink, yeah. Yeah, so okay, yeah, yeah, yeah. I think you gotta try it i mean do you do do you do role play stuff yes no you i pretend to be bobby lee yeah that is true and then how do you how do you do it for you i lay on my back yeah and kalilah comes over and then my wife will do kalilah and then she'll uh she'll dominate me wow yes that's true that's how we do it al do you ever role play that you're sleeping with black women?

No, no. Have you ever done the role play? Because you're pretty adventurous sexually. Like cuffs and swings and things like that. It's not really role play. Unless you role play as a cop. That's jungle gym play, dog. Yeah, I mean, we play.

It's a swing, you know. But yeah, no role play. That stuff i'm very intimidated by contraptions oh it's fun it's just like sex toys yeah why i just think that if i go in that direction i'll always rely on that that's how i felt about um a finger in the butt explain i didn't want to know that I liked it. But did you do it? I didn't do it. Won't do it. You know what? I've never been with a girl. You know me. I've had it licked.

And then when the girl tried to go in, I was like, no. What's the answer? Soup fire. I'm not going to put the thumbs anywhere. I would love for you to just surrender because I've never been with a guy fire. Thumbs up. I'm not going to put the thumbs anywhere. Okay. But I would love for you to just surrender because I've never been with a guy who has, who doesn't like it.

No, I believe that it is to be enjoyed. Yes. I don't want to rely on that because I've never taken off my underwear and there hasn't been shit. So I know what my wife is putting her fingers into. So, and I, and it's not like i don't wipe thoroughly like i actually do put in a good effort and like i really try and it's every single time you could do some like prep work what do you mean by that you know

really just make sure everything what he needs a bidet yeah you're so rich and you don't have a bidet i don't believe in it you like man he doesn't want to feel it yeah he doesn't want to feel he doesn't want to know he likes the bidet yeah dude i spent 45 minutes scrolling on a bidet once water squirting yeah 45 minutes he was floating in the air like a car what is that that's me on top take that esther so you're it's like for the planet. You don't want to waste all the resources. That's what it is. Yeah, I want to get stuff done.

I would do one podcast a week if I had a bidet. And I'd sit on their reverse cowgirl. Multiple wargowns. Just staring at the wall. You also believe that G-spot's a myth, too. Yes. The male G-spot. Male G-spot.

I don't believe it. Really? Yeah. I have been unsuccessful in that arena as well. Really? I've tried to go in and done everything, hit the prostate. It has not. Yeah, it's bullshit.

It has not been fruitful. Wow. And when you cum, it's not even cum that comes out. But then I just blame myself. It's just the fluid. There's no actual sperm in it this is a myth gay dudes invented so they could fix the gay lobby yeah it's the gay lobby 100 i didn't know that i want to be shown shown by step like a play-by-play by a gay man because

i think that i just probably don't know how to do it i blame myself you should blame yourself personal accountability only way to make change yeah um now, I want to ask you guys about a very important story. There's a teacher that's being arrested because she made cum muffins. Yeah. Now, I'm assuming that the both of you have ingested probably billions of sperm in your life. No. One load of it is billions. Oh, really?

Yeah. So you probably no comment trillions like so like between the two of you it's possible what's after trillions bagillions gazillions gazillions no so between the two now that's just by proxy of how many sperm Are in a load Is that a big deal That there were some cum in muffins

That's pretty Not okay yeah It's not okay but are you also like get over it Like that's whatever No if someone fed someone Unwillingly sperm That is like death penalty That is horrible now have you ever had a guy not tell you and then came in your mouth no no no no this is not i no i'm the girl that's

lying on my back i'm this is not nobody's no you want to get skull fucked but politely yeah but Politely. Yeah, but like, a guy's skull fucking you, going, I'm going to cum. What? What? No. Yeah, what is right? You can't just cum and like anywhere you want without warning. That's absurd.

I can't help it if my dick is smashing into your tonsils. You're gonna have to help it. What? No, there's no just like surprise cum in my life. What?

Ever. Do you share this sentiment towards surprise cum? And look. Every cum is surprise. I would just like someone to honk the horn. So I can just prepare my tonsils. That's all I want. It's usually, uh, uh.

I don't mind if you just blast in through my uvula. I just need you to honk the horn. What's a uvula? The thing that moves when you do that. I thought that was tonsils. That's a uvula? Yeah, the dangly thing in the back of your throat. I thought that was tonsils. I thought they'd take that out. No, the thing's on the side of the...

I did not know that. What? I thought that that was tonsils. Oh, no. I thought that was tonsils the thing in the back of the throat you thought that was two things yeah I thought it was tonsils but it's only one thing

like a road scholar like I thought it's just tonsils like not multiple it's just like that's a tonsils oh pants is one pair of pants yeah I see yeah but I wouldn't even call it a pair of pants I just like that's a tonsil. Oh, pants is one pair of pants. Yeah. I see.

Yeah, but I wouldn't even call it a pair of pants. I just thought that's a tonsils. Oh my God. Yeah, dude. That's not true. You don't believe this. Honestly, I've asked girls. I'm like, do you not have tonsils?

Like that's crazy. Where were we? You girls are talking about ingesting cum. I was trying to make it more of a biology lesson here. I'm just shocked that like surprise come is acceptable to everyone except like i to me that's like do you like me if you're like surprising me esther can i ask you a question yes is it that much of a surprise like you know it's at the end of this journey right again honk the horn i've just never had i've never had that be a surprise but is it maybe i'm not good at sex i don't know i just don't know i mean it's maybe the polite thing

to do but i don't know if it's necessarily that rude like we we all know what's going on here it's like if you're in the river looking for gold and then some gold gets into the pan you're not like well why didn't anybody tell me but right you're digging for the gold and then it's there. Cum and gold are not things that I usually comp together but I hear you. I hear you.

I think they can be comparable. You know, depending on the cum. I mean, the right person comes in you with some gold. So if you ate

one of those cum-laced cupcakes, you would be like, no big deal. It's just a hair. It would be like equivalent of having like a hair. Honestly, yeah. Are you serious? No yeah you would be like no big deal it's just a hair it would be like equivalent of having like a hair honestly yeah no are you serious no it would be the equivalent but he sends hair back immediately and gets mad no i don't care about hair you don't care about hair

i don't know anything i eat anything really i don't give a fuck he picks the hair up with his hands and then puts on the side and what if you find a sperm in your food you're not gonna send it back a singular sperm yeah you pull it out and you go, what is this? Okay, I'll do you one better. When I first started jerking off, I didn't know if I was coming or not. And then I would just pee. And then I'd like put my finger in front of the stream. And then I'd taste it to see if I was peeing or coming. I respect that.

I want to know what the difference was. You're a scientist. Thank you. Dr. Schultz. I'm Dr. Schultz. And I had to figure out. I was like, I know the flavor of pee. So had to figure out I was like I know the flavor of pee So if I taste this

How do you know the flavor of pee? That's probably Similar to what it smells like Right? So And then if it tastes way different Then that's probably cum And then I actually

Came for the first time I was like Oh no that's not pee Like I actually felt it I think You are weird bro Why? I'm a young kid

Dude I'm like coming back from school Just sitting on the toilet Taking a shit And then doing two days Vaseline Blumpkin in yourself? Blumpkin

That's crazy You know Because it's in the news I'll share this I had my first orgasm To the Pam Anderson And Tommy Lee porn I watched it on my iPod video

And I just thought I would share that That was your first ever Orgasm in your life? Yes Oh oh oh not the new hulu series no no the actual like old school when i downloaded it on my parents mac and i uploaded it to my ipod video and i watched it and i was like because i had been having sex yeah and

i was in that period of like i think a girl's life where it's like am i having one i don't know and then it wasn't until I watched that porn. I was like, we did it. And you were delivering this orgasm to yourself. That's right. Okay. And that was your first time ever trying? Yeah. Maybe.

I don't know. That's the thing. Sometimes you try and it doesn't go there. Yeah. Sex didn't do it before that. But then I learned it on my own. That's kind of the thing for women I hear though. Yeah.

It's like you have to learn your own body first. You you can orgasm easier with guys yeah or whoever true true very true why do you think that information isn't shared with women i think it is now okay like i certainly tell like i have to give sex advice to my nieces who are teenagers and that's the first thing i say it's like discover yourself just like in a very coded way just be like look just do whatever you have to do you can't figure it out for yourself no one's going to figure it out for you so but it is true because it's like a guy could be could really there's no one guy that just for instance when a guy says he's like a god in the bedroom it's probably just with that one person that he's consistently having sex with because

that doesn't apply to the next girl yeah just like it's different for everybody it hits us little parts or feel different have you ever been with a girl where you're like oh this you're like you have sex with her and like you're like oh she's like following the playbook from the last guy this is interesting go on that that's meaning like she's doing moves that she knew worked for this other guy yeah and then you have to you're kind of like whoa no like we're not let's read we got to start over here okay tiny little cheat code because i'm a super sub right but there is an advantage to like being on your back especially when you're with a newer girl is because they're in a position where they can control what they enjoy they enjoy it more usually because you don't know their body yet

but they do so they if they you they orgasm with their clit, then they can just kind of sit on it and do a lot of rubbing. If they do it through penetration, they can do that kind of stuff. So I think maybe outside of being completely lazy and just enjoying to sit down, I think my people-pleasing thing made me gravitate towards it. So you're a thoughtful feminist. I'm a feminist and very thoughtful, 100%.

But no, in all seriousness i think just going okay how will they enjoy this experience the most if it's the first time we've ever had sex probably if they can control where it goes i like that okay would you think though if you can for all women what do you think the position is where they come the most? It's not. Your mouth. Wait, really? Yeah. Really? Yeah. How do you, how do guys do it to where that happens?

Miles. I muck barn, I muck barn. I muck barn. Why are you not, are you not into, are you not a... Giver, you're not a... Giver? Are you not a giver either? I'm a giver. I give dick.

Okay. Same question for sex. How about that? I honestly feel like guys who love eating pussy got either small dicks or don't have confidence in their dick game. That's so not true. 100%. 100%.

No guy with a big dick is like, I just want to eat pussy all the fucking time. There's no way that's real. I'm telling you. Find the big dick guys who are like, I just want to be all here eating's no way that's real i'm telling you find the find the big dick guys who are like i just want to be all here i'll even fucking pussy all day we know them who i'm not naming them name them i can't do that i yes and no um which one is it I give the guy what he wants

but it's never for free at the end when he comes it's like look I'm gonna get on all fours and you're gonna eat my asshole

finger me and touch my clit at the same time do the trifecta and you're gonna finish me off and I demand it after

after the guy comes yeah not a chance no no no no no no no. No, no, no. Not a chance in hell. I've never been turned down. Wow.

I would run. I'll call the police. That's right. Then we're never fucking again. That's right. What are you going to tell the police? She's waving me. She's on all fours

and she's backing up slowly. That, no, no way. But it doesn't take very long. Do it before. Before. Before I come. If you do the trifecta, it's a 20 second job at most. Yeah, so let's do it before. Let's come if you do the trifecta it's a 20 sec 20 second job at most yeah so let's do it before let's get you out of the way that's the goal

get you out of the way but then it's that same feeling where it's like i've already come now i just have to be like yeah but women can't you come multiple times there's a period right after we come where it doesn't necessarily feel good. It's a little sensitive, right? Yeah. Yeah. Get over it. You're going to squeeze a baby out of there. High traffic area. There you go. The high traffic area. High traffic area.

No, no. But I feel like it's probably, and again, you guys could not know what it is like to have an orgasm and then continue to do sexual stuff after that. It's tricky, like for us. But for you guys, yeah, there it is like to have an orgasm and then continue to do sexual stuff after that it's it's tricky like for us but for you guys yeah there's that moment of sensitivity so i've heard but then you can get back into it sometimes it's just harder for us i believe that i i yeah like i would rather do everything for you take a little time chill watch some Euphoria. Eat some Taco Bell. Hell yeah.

Yeah. Get it back. Taco Bell. Just blowjobs and just burping in the middle of it. Yeah. Be hot. That was my high school routine. I don't know.

Where'd you grow up? Skokie. It's a suburb of Chicago. Oh, Chicago. Yeah. And then when'd you go to LA? I dropped out of school, out of college when I was 21 and moved there for stand up. Oh, Chicago. Yeah. And then when did you go to L.A.? I dropped out of school, out of college when I was 21 and moved there for stand up. Oh, fuck.

Yeah. So you went through it. What do you mean? I mean, just you spent some a decade in L.A. Yeah. Yikes. Yeah. Chew you up a little bit.

I, you know, the saying never meet your heroes. Yeah. I like to say that women in comedy say never meet your heroes because they'll try to rape you. Really? Have they? It's a joke. But. We'll just leave it there.

No further questions. Really? But that is true, though, about the don't meet your hero shit. Yeah. And especially like you don't have a lot of like friends or family in town. Yeah. No. When I moved to L.A. I was 21. I didn't know anybody.

And I showed up at the comedy store and I was 21 but looked 14. And yeah, it was like it wasn't like it was now. And whatever. Unsafe. Probably. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, even if you're 21, look 21.

Yeah. L.A. will chew you the fuck out. Totally. Yeah. Yeah. It's, even if you're 21, look, 21. Yeah, totally. LA will chew you the fuck out. Totally. Yeah. Yeah. And I've seen it happen. Even New York, too. Like, you see it happen.

Like, people go for these big dreams, and then they end up being, like, Pilates instructors and shit. And it's like... That's okay, too, though. It is? I love my Pilates instructor. Yeah, what's wrong with Pilates? She's very pretty.

There's nothing wrong with Pilates. But? I mean... You have big fucking dreams totally you moved your whole family out there you could have done Pilates and Skokie totally yeah no I heartbreaking when I moved to LA I was very I was very delusional about how this industry worked like I literally thought I'm gonna move to LA I'm gonna live there for one year and if I don't become as famous as Will Ferrell by the end of the year, I'll just move home and work at Walgreens. And then I realized that's not how it works. And I just started doing standup. Yeah.

Did you feel like, was there this, this, this tricky thing, like, especially with any job you work in a restaurant, you're going to end up like hooking up with the people that you work with right you're not gonna start to but you don't want to necessarily like rise up within the restaurant you're like i'm gonna work as a server make money here so that i

can go do my passion somewhere else but with stand-up and i always wonder this with like female comics specifically it's like you're working with these people non-stop you're spending so much time with your peers you start to probably I imagine, crushes on them. Oh, totally. Yeah. I mean, coming up in college. But don't you also worry like, oh, God, if I hook up with this guy, is that going to make things awkward for me in the business? If it doesn't work out, are they going to hold it against me?

I never had that phase really because, you know, keep in mind mind i was halfway through college when i came out here so i kind of came out to la so i was kind of at that college age and i of course there i was surrounded by guys and i had like i dated a couple comics they were my boyfriends you know for a couple years and but it was that's to me so healthy and normal it's not like there's nothing wrong with that to me yeah no i think, I think it is healthy. Yeah. You just have the extra little bit on top, which is like, if this doesn't go well, could that person try to not get me spots at a certain club or like. Yeah, that's scary. But that's.

Yeah. But I dated nice people. So that didn't happen. But yeah, that is totally, I think, a valid fear, especially when we learn like that Harvey Weinstein was like not only sexually assaulting women, but like going behind people's backs and saying like, don't cast her. That's so scary. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. That is something to weigh. And you like tied into your dream. Like I have so much empathy for those girls who like they love acting. They their whole dream, their whole life is is going. I just want to be in this movie and maybe win an oscar and then it's right in front of you the guy who makes the movies that win the oscar is going hey i'd like to put you in this movie and i want this other thing and if you don't

and you gotta weigh your fucking dream horrible that's terrifying yeah yeah that's terrifying yeah i actually don't feel bad like it's weird like i don't question why a lot of them did it I actually don't feel bad. It's weird. I don't question why a lot of them did it. I think most people would probably make their morals a little bit malleable for their dream. Yeah. Right?

Do you find that that's specific to comedy? Like with the whole don't meet your heroes thing? Or is that just most industries and entertainment? This is the only industry I'm in, so I don't know. But I think, I mean, mean yeah what do you think is that in nursing school should you not meet your heroes when you were there my nursing professor I'm kidding um I don't know I don't know I think that you know I I circle the comedy scene i only do podcasts i don't do stand-up but from where i stand you know it it it's scary for for cute little girls like you thank you do you have like would you say never meet your heroes like does that does that relate to you i want to meet

them but oftentimes it is underwhelming i think and like they don't try to rape you though they don't try to rape me that's good uh thank god but like uh no in general i think because we build up these people to be something that they're not you know it's oftentimes what happens like when your parents get old and you start to realize like they're humans yeah and you're like oh shit like you suffer from like depression or bipolar like you have all these real issues in your life and i just thought you were my mom and dad. I thought nothing could possibly affect you. And I think the same thing happens

to meet your heroes. I mean, I was fortunate enough, the comic that I think is the greatest ever, I said hello a few times and then that's it. So he's passed away, but it's like, he never got to be mean to me, he never got to shit all over me or one of my friends like there was never this bad experience where it could really like taint who was it what

patrice oh cool you know and like i've heard tons of crazy stories with patrice specifically so like i'm kind of lucky that that didn't happen that is that's special yeah but yeah just i don't know just meeting anybody in general like especially that you built up totally yeah it never it's never never really works out. It's almost better to meet somebody that like you've heard from like in the periphery and then they blow you away and you're like, oh, that's why you're successful. You know, like I don't care about like Jeff Bezos or whatever. I don't really care about, but it'd be nice to like meet him and then like have him kind

of like analyze things and like say really interesting and impressive. And I'm like oh i get it you should be the richest person yeah and i feel like i feel like right now like probably with a guy like elon musk it's so built up like he's got to be so smart like if i have a conversation with him and he's you know he's not making a new microwave or something like i'll be like okay yeah yeah yeah, I guess. Yeah. Isn't Jeff Bezos your celebrity crush? A little bit, yeah. I'm just very fascinated because his girlfriend, Lauren Sanchez, is like my hero because she's a woman in her 50s

who broke up a billionaire's marriage. And that's like something to live for. Or were to because I'm 33 and, you know, like growing up, it's like, oh, and once you to because I'm 33 and you know, like growing up, it's like, oh, and once you're in your thirties, you're like old news.

But like this is a 50 year old fucking bad bitch who got the richest man in the world to leave his wife for her. A hundred percent. That's a Cinderella story. That's called a gorilla grip pussy. No, fire pussy. And also something I think a lot of girls don't realize,

like all these guys, they're sleeping with girls that are probably 25. Wifing? Not a chance. And the smarter you are, the smarter the partner you're going to need to have is. I love that. So there's no way these, I mean, I don't know,

maybe these Victoria's Secret models are also smart and beautiful or whatever. But the reality is, what is Jeff Bezos going to talk to a 23-year-old girl that walks straight with wings? What could he possibly talk to her about? That Lauren Sanchez girl, on some level, he's like, you spotted me, found a way to get to me, and got me? You are as diabolical a business person as me. You wanted to take over, and did it yeah like he can talk to her about deals and she can look and be like motherfucker i got you that's a bad idea like i

don't know for me i look at that i'm like that's fire that's great totally i think that's what guys especially at that age want they want we want a partner we want to share something with we want to have like like even with his last wife you know we make fun of her and all that other stuff but like they started that business together he'll get all the credit but like they did start together yeah they're having conversations about how to build that thing together yeah you think he wants to go from that to some fucking 25 year old that has no ideas about anything and she's like taking like selfies and shit yeah that sounds like hell it is yeah and that's something that women uh don't understand about men thank you for teaching us we we enjoy personality and intelligence too thank you

thank you for teaching us that we don't have a shelf life you do i didn't i didn't say that if you're five six and bald you'll go for a lot of girls yeah yeah if he still had his full head of hair he's gonna be banging those victoria superpowers he's leo all of a sudden he's fucking leo i always wonder when someone is that rich do they ever just i mean is that the look he's going for is he ever like i have so much money i could put extra hair on my head. Yeah. But it's just refusing to. All right, guys, we're going to take a break for a second. Now, I mean, this is even foul to say, but it is the reality. There's going to be a lot of people making money off of war or almost war or not war. But people are scared.

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of the owner of the site and are intended for educational material. Now let's get back to the show. I think he's like baked into baldness. I think if it was like, I think like Elon started to lose his hair and then got plugs. And he's like, I'm gonna ride this shit out.

Because now it's a choice. You guys know this. Right. Like you just get on the Pro shit out. Because now it's a choice. You guys know this. Right. Like you just get on the Propecia and it stops it from going away. Yes. And I know a lot of girls have been saying this, but I am not allowing balding in my life anymore. I think that there are a lot of options for men.

I think that us girls do so much upkeep, nails this and that you can do a little bit to cough up the 10 grand for hair I have a different take on this which is that I think that it's such a power move for Jeff Bezos to look exactly how he looks and to not give a fuck it's like like I just think that's hotter it's like why because why? Because to me, and I get it, we do a lot of it. Well, you do. I don't do that much upkeep. I need a bikini wax. But like, I think that it's hot when a man is like, this is just what I am.

And they're like, okay, that's confident as fuck. You're right. But that only applies to Carlos. Carlos, take your hat off. Let's see it. Wow. Modest Yahoo dude Wow

No you need hair bro Objectively more handsome with the hat on I think the opposite No he's a handsome guy And you look like you have this full head Of like Bradley Cooper hair When you have the hat on I think full bald you could pull off though

Yeah you could pull off full bald Jason Statham like shave it down but this middle thing where you're like a scientist We love it. No way, dude. Me and Kalilah love it.

Don't listen to this. I think it's quite the opposite. These are toxic women, bro. These are toxic fucking women. They're going to make sure that you can't leave them. That's what they want to do. They want security

and their security is you not leaving them. If another girl enters your life that you're gonna love and lust over you're not gonna be answering their text at two in the fucking morning they want to keep you right busted 100% dude 100% no this is the way that they're asserting their dominance over you keep you undesirable so you don't leave them for another flavor to podcast we're gonna glow you up bro that's what we're gonna do dude 100% I've been under the impression that I'm like cool looking.

Oh, fuck you both for this. This is disgusting. You know what we tell him? You're gaslighting him. This is gaslighting. We tell him, it's like, Carlos, this is the big dick energy look. Oh, shit. Who does she date? No, they don't care about big dick energy.

They don't care about this. This is security. That's your thing. You need security. You know what? You might be correct. I think you give Bobby the drugs. I give Bobby the drugs?

I think you give Bobby the drugs. Every time he starts to build up that self-esteem, it's like, let's go blow a line. Let's have some fun. I think you might be enabling it. And I need to find out who your fiance is. I need to see what's going on over here. I think we're getting some real issues. You think Munchausen? I think they might have it.

Wow. I'm very familiar with Munchausen. What is that? Is that dairy, bro? What is it? Have you never heard of Gypsy? Yeah. Mommy Dearest. Mommy Dearest. No.

Mommy Dead and Dearest or something like that. Yeah. Mommy Dead and Dearest. That's what it is. It's basically this girl who was made to believe she was sick her whole life by her mother, right? So you're saying- The Eminem thing.

Right. Right. Yeah. The Munchausen. Yeah. By proxy. Yeah. The Eminem thing?

Eminem had that. I guess his mom was always saying he was sick and that kind of stuff there was a popular hulu show where they did a story about it it's like the mom told everyone that the girl had cancer yeah and she believed it yeah yeah she killed her mom she did kill her that's right what her boyfriend helped out yeah yeah that's a ride or die yeah that's fire i never made it to the last episode. Yeah, the last episode it gets wild. She's just standing over her mom's dead body like, you're not dead.

Like, get up. Yeah, what are you talking about? This is total munch on me. Dude, I'm telling you, bro, you got to shave that hair immediately. The guy's got a great smile. He's a handsome guy.

Don't do it, Carlos. He could be Bezos tomorrow. He literally could be. Can we shave it on the pod? I think Bad Friends already want to give me a haircut oh dang okay we're not going to compete I don't really care that much but I do

think that you will go up like literally two points minimum by just shaving your head I'll tell you this I was married with a shaved head now post marriage COVID and everything I just let it go maybe if I shave it

I'll get married again how tall are you? 5'7 you need to shave it you can't be 5'7 and look like the bad guy from Sonic you need you need to have you need to be like literally

he's not on the literally he's a nice guy he's a nice guy he's got a blazer i'm telling you he's a handsome fucking guy and these girls are bullying him you're like abusive to him you're abusing him oh yeah you saw mommy dearest what happens when you push your munch house and child too far it might yep yep yep take out the trash. So we're going to do that. We're going to shave that down, glow you the fuck up. All right, let's do it. I think I got it. Yeah, 5'7", you got to be fucking clean.

Clean. It's the same thing. 5'7", or like fat guys, they got to be clean. Smelling good, looking good, everything on point. And then people look at you like, yo, what the fuck? Is he a producer? That's the L.A. thing. It's like you just look a little mysterious, and they're like, I think he's a producer.

What's funny is I already am one around LA, but no one's giving me fucking attention or anything. You're going to get all the attention, dude. I can't wait. It's scary. Huh? Like this, when I go into the supermarket. What? With your hair like that?

Just the hair like this and sunglasses. It's a little like, you know, like kids aren't like running out right now. Yeah, that's probably a good sign though. Yeah. You don't really want kids running out. Yeah, I don't know what's going on right now. But we're gonna save you.

Okay, Carlos? Yeah, you're gonna be Bezos, we're gonna get you a Lauren Sanchez. That's the goal. But speaking of which, do you think she has ever had an orgasm with Bezos? Yeah, 100%. Do you think he lays it down?

100%. Richest man in the world? 100%. Richest man in the world. Why? Let me think. Why would he lay it down? He's the richest man in the world.

But he still wants to satisfy his woman. All guys want to satisfy their woman. I think that he probably wouldn't care about making a 25-year-old come. But she would demand it. Why? Do you think he comes fast? He looks like a rapid comer. Like same day?

Yeah. Too pumped, Chuck. Okay. Before you guys go, because I know you guys have a very busy schedule. We didn't even get to the swimming. I feel sad it i just want to get to the swimming um do you think do you think this trans half oh yeah that's what i'm talking about no no uh do you find it interesting that guys all of a sudden are really invested in women's sports now that trans athletes are

competing were they not invested before because i think that women's mma is probably the most exciting like when i watch an mma card i always think the women fights are so much better sometimes and as far as i know outside of one there isn't a trans woman fighting in the mma besides that one the ufc has done an unbelievable job of getting people to be interested in women's uh fighting and nobody's been able to do that before outside of like maybe wwe and obviously that's rigged right the ufc's done that or the fact that these female fighters are just fucking amazing i think it's a ufc okay because i i'm not really paying attention to like other female fights that exist outside of the ufc okay right like there's like boxing superstars right female boxing women's boxing has never been

like that great and i think that the ufc is like an amazing marketing model and they can get us interested in these people like they can get us interested in fighters that the UFC is like an amazing marketing model and they can get us interested in these people. Like they can get us interested in fighters that are kind of like journeymen and they can make them superstars. Whereas with boxing, you've got to be like Mayweather, never lost. Okay, we're going to lock in. And that being said, it's like a brilliant idea because you're missing out on 50% of the population. You know, like I'm sure you guys know from podcasts and like you probably have a lot of female listeners, right? Yeah. Having female listeners is super valuable right there's all these pods

probably a majority guys listening and i bet if i'm an advertiser i'm like how do i get girls like oh my god there's a girl podcast where girls are actually listening that's not about like a serial killer shows or like unsolved crimes or something like that like that's massive how do i tap into that yeah we have we actually have like 50 50 men yeah women for our audience really we started heavy with the men because you're coming over from yeah male podcast podcasts yeah so we actually had to build a female audience but but it's happening faster yeah than we thought it would which is like you know we're really happy about because there's happening faster yeah than we thought it would which is like you know we're really happy about because there's so few yeah and we we have a lot of couples too

like at shows it's usually like couples which is fun it's cute date night are you giving like advice to them no no we're just spilling like our deepest darkest horrible things about us we're just like ourselves and i think that's what people relate to because we get a lot of messages that are that are like you've like helped me with self-acceptance and i'm like what do you mean by that like it's like because we're so accepting of how fucked up we are yeah i feel like that's the most effective way to make change like once people take on the responsibility of like i am your leader and this is how you must live your life it's it obviously it's effective you can create a cult but like it's it's way it's way better yeah and to just do it and then people

go oh they're themselves i guess i can be myself yeah and i think that it also like at least for me and i you know there's this idea that well i'll just put it out there like a lot of bad things happened to me like i was very sexually traumatized and abused and you know but i never like we're able to laugh about it surprisingly just the three of us were able to just like cry laugh about yeah our rapes you know what i mean yeah and make digs at each other about being molested or like miscarriages abortions like we just joke about that stuff because we're not victims word word right yeah but you've all all been raped esther except esther well i don't know i don't know but annie letterman and i definitely like we we've been yeah yeah is like even my face is like i'm i'm

so like shocked does that make you feel uncomfortable no saying it out loud yeah no not at all like that has nothing to do with me like that happened that's something that happened to me it is not me it's just something that happened when i was younger and a lot yeah yeah i grew up in the philippines i had weird you know uncles family members, family members and things like that. Really? Yeah. So but, you know, it's like I've been therapized a lot over the years. So I'm able to talk about it in just now.

And we are not like the kinds of people we don't want to like hide in shame about things because that makes it always makes it worse and always feel so much better. Like when I had a miscarriageriage i had to have an abortion last summer and the whole time i was texting with her because she's had like a hundred abortions and so she's like i shouldn't laugh about that so hard i'm so sorry if you guys are sensitive about that stuff wait why why yeah but i've definitely got a hundred not a hundred no she's had a couple but i have a couple yeah so it's like oh i know my bobby with bobby yeah really yeah two with bobby oh wow yeah your decision his decision yeah we were a month into dating when i got pregnant yeah

i was on the pill and i got pregnant wow and i wasn't taking it at the same time every day and we were just like wait we barely know each other and so i'm like no i can't do this i'm sorry and then the other one and the other one i had just gotten out of heart surgery i had a an ablation done and again i was on the pill what's it what's in a ablation um they burn off abnormal tissue because my heart was um the electrical conductivity of my heart was improper so it would beat like 250 beats a minute while i was like sleeping whoa so it felt like a heart attack so they had to burn off the tissue in there but i got pregnant after that and i was like oh fuck like that's gnarly you think the doctor like while you were under never mind

wait there's a movie about that what the doctor what came inside you oh my god oh my lord that's how you made me say it oh it is wasn't it in kill but wasn't that happening there's a movie called talk to her where i know the nurse joke was so much more fucked up than my joke i stopped myself from saying a joke because i was like this is maybe a little insensitive she's like i had an ablation and i had all these like beats and i was like that's weird that ablation would be like off rhythm. You'd think it would make black and Asian. Okay guys. That's 10-7 Esther. 10-7 Esther.

Esther won that round. Do you think you're getting cummed in by your doctor? No, if that was the case, you would have kept it. Right. That's a doctor's name. My mom cares about tall jeans like your parents would be like a doctor what are you doing yeah trap is a not that comic doctor yeah you're actually awake

okay so so you had these fucked up things. Yes. You feel comfortable talking about them, not because you're ignoring them. You think that you've went through and processed them enough where you can discuss them. Correct. It doesn't happen for everybody. Right. It's, you know, I am just one person who has, who's okay with it and I don't have too many sexual, like, I don't have any weird hangups about sex with men, given that I've been assaulted a lot.

But do you, because you would always see this, like when we grew up watching Howard Stern, like they would always say a thing like, oh, you know, if you're a stripper, you don't have a relationship with your dad or you've been touched or something like that. Did it warp sex for you? A thousand percent.

How so? I was hypersexual because I was, you know, diddled when I was young and I didn't know what sex. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. That's not the joke. And you can't laugh at that. Just calling it that.

You're hard. You're hard she didn't even make a joke I love this why is that funny I love this you're crazy you're crazy I want to say something though that I relate to Al you're fucking crazy

when I'm uncomfortable that's when I laugh the hardest. Like my grandfather's funeral, I literally laughed harder. Bro, you guys are the same. Just like submissive, crying. We were on the bed. Just chilling, dude. Yeah. Totally.

I get it. Yeah, that is so true. It's how we process discomfort. Yes. I will laugh harder at those things things than anything else and i'm like i'm obviously not don't think it's funny my grandfather died but yeah i'm laughing because everybody here is so serious yeah and that tension is crazy yeah okay you just using the word diddle for you i've never seen that happen like i've heard i've heard people be like oh that person was doing i've never heard somebody

be like i was i was dittled up yeah i was dittled the fuck up revolutionary This is her trauma. Don't laugh. What's wrong with you? Don't put it on me. Put it on him. I'm not sure their face is looking at you laughing at them. Jesus. Honestly, I don't like it. I'm not going to laugh. I don't like it when people get serious

when I talk about it. It makes me uncomfortable. So I'm so glad you're laughing. Don't laugh, Andrew. She's being serious. She's explaining trauma. No. Ow. Ow.

Ow. You need to show the fuck out here. Ow. Ow. Okay. All right. Just start over. You're not allowed to laugh.

I'm not laughing. Say your little ditty, and then you can't laugh. No. I'm going to take it like this. You're not allowed to laugh. I'm not laughing. Say your little ditty and then you can't laugh. No, I said don't laugh. I'm going to take it like this. You're not allowed. This sounds to you like a funeral and you're laughing hysterically. That's what I think is happening here.

Yeah. The Dill story is a funeral. Don't. And. Stop. Wow. Wow. You're leaning into the frame now so I can see you laughing i'm sorry i'm sorry

okay go go go that's it i got diddled i know the story's over the story's over okay but you're also saying the way that you process it. Yeah, I started therapy at 14. But no, I guess what the real question was like, you were over sexual or? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. You removed any of the stigma of sex? No, I was hyper sexual after. Okay, so here's my curiosity. Are you and other people in your situation more sexual, meaning like you're more horny,

or does sex not mean as much as a coping mechanism for the awful thing that you went through? So here's what I treated sex as never a pleasure thing for me in my twenties and early years. It was more of a way to get what I wanted or, or to reclaim, to kind of feel like it was my relationship with sex was very dysfunctional when I was younger.

It had nothing to do with pleasure. It had something it had everything to do with, oh, a boy deems me worthy enough. And maybe I can have a warm body next to me for whatever, three minutes, whatever. So it was very warped. You're correct. What happened, though, in my 30s is that my libido just evaporated. Like it was as if I had like fucked to death. Like I was just like, it was dead.

Like I fucked my libido to death. And I think that this is in your twenties when I started to process those things. Truly, I, I didn't want to have sex anymore because I then realized that I was doing it all wrong. So I had to kind of reframe it and say, wait, this is the thing for me. I, that's why I demanded at the end now where I'm like, you cannot come. You don't come unless I come. That's the rule now. So now it's a pleasure thing.

It's not anything else but that. And then did the appetite go up yes back to the level it was before um the level it was before was unhealthy it was i was very promiscuous so so that's my curiosity is i think what often this is just my assumption if i went through something horribly traumatic that was in like the realm. My way of processing it would probably go, I'm gonna remove the societal value of sex so I can remove how horrible that experience was. For some girls it's that way.

Right? I think that they go that direction and other girls do, you know. And if sex isn't deemed as a potentially naughty thing for girls, you would have the sexual appetite of a dude. Like if you look at gay guys, they're just sucking each other's cocks at the gym. It's just not a big deal.

Like there's no stigma attached. Stigma kind of keeps your sex drive at bay. We always have to, there are so many checks that we have to kind of go through. There are so many implications. You know, men don't have that attached. It's like you can just stick your dick in and call

it a day for us it's like there are just too many implications for being with a man or at least that's what i thought of now when i took that out then you could then it's like pure floodgates yep then i could be a shoemaker you know what i mean i just want to clarify, I was not diddled, but I also have the same rule as Kalilah, that if you come, I also have to come. Hold on one second. Ow. She said diddled, and then that's... Get the fucking camera off of me.

Miles, Miles, take control of the camera, please. You can't. Ow, you're not... This guy is crazy. You can't say diddled. You can't say diddled on this podcast. I have a question. Have you been in a thruple?

I was told that. I have been. How? Wait, you lived with them? Yeah, my last relationship before Bobby was with two men. I heard this is fascinating. Is it though? Yes, how did it work?

How did the guys not have any ego? Oh, they did. guy would be crying in a corner because he came and now he has to watch the other guy hell yeah so in the beginning it was very testy but i think that ultimately it was one of those situations where um um fix your face bro I just can't believe guys. Do I know these guys? No. One was a very cute math teacher and the other is a pediatric nurse.

You don't know them. That makes sense. That is some loser shit. Which one was crying the most? Which one was crying the most? Be honest. No, I'm joking. No one was crying.

I think that, you know, like... You're going to share? Yeah. No way, dude. Look, if the girl is that special. Yes, queen. Obviously, very special. Okay.

Yeah. You don't think you can handle two guys? I can from hearing the stories. To be fair, it was fucking exhausting from the emotional end of it because we shared a home. We shared a life. We traveled together um the sex part was just a you know a tiny thing in that relationship because like you still have

to have a relationship with these people and that's two people's emotions you're taking care of did you start with one i started with one so oh this is heartbreaking for asking this question an hour in al let's see how it developed go ahead yeah this is i was with one for about two and a half years i met the other person he became a friend of the both of us one day it turned into a hey you know let's see if you know we could just have i asked i asked I asked him, I was like, would you be down if he like joined? Was he in the room? He was, he had spent the night, he was in the shower and we were having Sunday morning sex. And I remember just saying like, I was a little manipulative in the sense that he was already inside me when I asked. A little. You know,

I didn't ask beforehand. He was a crier. Carlos. I'm going to bank I asked. A little. You know, I didn't ask beforehand. He was a crier. Carlos. I'm going to bank on this. Pay attention. Pay attention to what's going on right now. Wait, that's so smart. I've never asked for something when they were inside. Yeah, you did.

To not come. This is crazy. So he's inside you. You go. Yeah. You say, what if we asked Fred? What's the guy's name? Fred. Fred. To have sex with us right and then he thought that that was a good idea um probably not like but he had

cum brain you gotta ask what you want for no when a guy has cum brain. He didn't question the last two and a half years of your relationship. No. No. So that's where it started. Wow. You guys are dumb when you have cum in your brain. No, we're smart. No.

I would have pulled out and covered you with it and then said, hey, come on in, Fred. Do your thing. Mop up. That is crazy. But then it kind of... How did you ask? Did he know that you kind of had a crush on him

did you guys discuss that at all no i knew that that guy thought i was attractive i just know i mean it's like he was a friend of all of ours but it's like i was a little cocky in a sense i'm like he's not gonna turn this down i don't know why i thought that i just thought that and from there it became this sort of, yeah, this friendship. And I lived with you guys. And I broke up with them at the same time. And how the fuck did he agree to this? Can we call him? He.

We have a joke on our show that every time Kalilah calls an ex, they answer like they were sitting by the phone waiting for her to call. Hello, princess. they answer like they were sitting by the phone waiting for her to call hello princess um yeah but it really wasn't as big of a deal as you would think it was very you know it was a regular it felt regular for me nah that's how a dom is right i know that's right there nah yeah that man is broken broken but are you the kind of guy that like yes really bothers you yes whatever the That's boss ass shit right there. Nah. Yeah. That man is broken. Broken. But are you the kind of guy that like, it really bothers you?

Whatever the, whatever the question you're asking is, you're asking it as if you don't know the answer already. No. Are you the kind of guy that like, is upset when other guys come in your girl? No, no, no.

Are you the kind of guy that like, it really bothers you knowing the previous partners of the woman you're with? Are you? I don't even, I don't even know they exist nobody has come before me so you can so but that's so that's that's a good answer if that's true that you're like you can just block it out and don't give a fuck or do you have to know no no i i want to know nothing really that's i think that don't tell me anything that's great you and me we start this thing and i don't care what happened before me i don't care what happened because while the

things that happened in your life before not just like partners you've been with but like the things have happened you're like i'm not judging you for any of those things we start now those things are going to inform your behavior in our relationship and when that kind of stuff comes up tell me so i understand what i'm dealing with but But I'm giving you clean slate. I don't want to enter this relationship with you and then have all these preconceived notions because of what you've been with. Let me accept you for you. And let's build some shit. And then when you see my fucked up stuff and then I tell you, hey, this is probably why I do that.

Then you go, okay, I understand that. That's fine. That's not about me. That's your thing. But let me learn. Don't give me all the messed up things that you've got going on. And then I'm going to be looking for those things every time we're in a fight. Oh, you're just doing this because.

What about if I'm gathering intel and I'm asking and I'm prodding and I'm prying into your life. Hey, who did you date here? What time? You're not telling me anything. Nope. Wow.

I dated them all. You don't want to go here. Yeah, that's role playing. This is bad. Yeah. No, but yeah, it's bad. Nothing't want to go here. Yeah, that's role playing. This is bad. No, but yeah, it's bad. Nothing but harm comes from this. Yeah, I think you're actually right about that. Stop asking the questions.

And as a man, I think we have to know which questions you don't really want to know the answer to. Oof. That's delicate, Dan. It's delicate. Who did you fuck? Yeah. Who of these people did you fuck? I didn't fuck anybody.

I'm a virgin. I fucked them all or I fucked none of them. Yeah. And it's simple as that. And you don't want to know because you want to know like we want to have dessert. Afterwards, you're going to feel shitty that you did it. And that's the same exact thing. So I got to go.

We're not having dessert. I could not relate to this more. I ordered rice pudding to my room last night and I don't feel good. But during it felt pretty damn good. It was, it was phenomenal. Yeah. Yeah.

But yeah, no, don't ask those questions. Do not ask them. How many guys have you slept with? How many girls have you slept with? No, no.

Like, like that. My wife, I was like, I'm not, I'm not telling you. Wow. So you would never live with two women that you

like that's not a thing that any man thinks kalilah live with two women live with two women have sex with two women be in a thruple look at look at the look at the people on the planet that do that culturally they blow themselves up mormons and mormons don't really do that. Mormons don't really do that. They did. Sister wives is a literal Mormon term. But they don't do it. There's like one of them that does it. No, they did for a while.

There's like freak little communities. For like 100 years they did it. Say again? For 100 years they did it. You don't know that, Mark. I do. You don't know that, Mark. I do.

You don't know that, Mark. I do. Maybe I'm just a Mormon woman. No, no, no. In all seriousness, I could, I would never want that. I don't think any guy wants that. Because like you said, the majority of the relationship is managing the emotions. That's hard enough to do with one person.

Right. Imagine adding on another, another, another. You're going to have to, I don't want to disappoint my wife or my partner. I feel horrible when I do it. Imagine disappointing four of them. Yeah. And I think that when people think about a thruple they immediately just like go into like oh what was it sexually that's all they think about is like

the sexual nature of a relationship and it's not that if that's only like five percent of it what is it just more bags yeah split rent three ways though it's a little better get a roommate that doesn't fuck you wait where do you sleep with a thruple do all three people sleep in the same bed no i had one the the original boyfriend was who i slept with and the other guy had his own room but occasionally like post-sex they would make me sleep together in the same bed and that's fun did they ever touch each other never i wanted them to so badly why i don't know i just you know was one of them bigger kick it up a you know. Was one of them bigger dicked? Kick it up a notch. Oh. Wasn't one of them bigger dicked? One of them was a black guy. What does that mean?

So he was well endowed. Was that the guy you started with or the new one? Started with the black guy. I was with him for like five years, yeah. And then the second guy was? He also had a good size dick, but he's Filipino and, yeah, Filipino. Good size for Filipino or good size? Good size. Just good size. Okay. Husband filipino and yeah filipino good size for filipino or good okay husband dick husband dick husband dick what does that mean like you can spend the rest of your

life that is neither too big nor too small you can just have every day and consume goldilocks yeah yes okay it's good for everyday use yeah everyday use okay the the black guy was the guy that you were dating originally he's probably more comfortable having a smaller dick being brought into the relationship. Yeah, it was racist that he said yes in the first place. Yeah, because he's like, I'm not intimidated by that little dick you're bringing around. If the guy's dick was bigger, forget it. No way in hell. Why is the dick size so at the headline?

The reason why it's important is because you girls don't understand the volume of your pussies. Right now, you girls are sitting here and you're both in your head going, I got the tightest pussy. Because you haven't heard anybody tell you that your pussy wasn't tight in your whole life. We say your pussy's tight because it's a reflection of our dicks. Right. When we're going, oh, your pussy's so tight, we really going oh my dick is so big right so so you're tied into like your tightness is tied into our ego right so every girl thinks they have the same size pussy and it's the tightest because every girl's been told they have the tightest pussy when you're at the gym you're not peeking into each other's pussies right so

you have no clue everything's internal guys when we're like fucking peeing at the airport you might walk and then there's a guy and he's holding his shit you're like yeah that's the best what country is he from right are you saying more like because you're so exposed to other men's penises that it's on your mind more okay you just see it and it's like it's just naturally you're just naturally competitive because it's in it's you see it you see it and it's in porn you don't see internally what's going on in there like there are pussies they're like tight and then they open up on the inside but i guess what i was trying to get to is like dick size you've never seen a little rugby football you can be a better lover yeah you know and it with like the guy with the not as big dick could have no i want you to

keep saying this lie this is adorable keep going are you serious it's the motion of the ocean it's not i'm not saying what it is i'm just saying like there's it's not that that's not the end all be all because no it's really not no that's been like the worst sex of my life like the bigger dicks i've had but you're you're like a tiny thing that's true you know thank you so that's the thing so you probably don't need as much totally fair but a bigger girl she's gonna need to get filled the fuck off let's go right let's go right she's gonna need some fucking campbell soup you know chunky maybe right so your idea of what it is is gonna be different and your idea of like vagina size is gonna be different yeah i have no concept of vagina size because i don't care

i only have one to be concerned with yeah well, well, we also have that, but you haven't been told anything to concern you. Like, no guy's in there like, oh, the fuck. Yes. But there are girls that have different sized pussies. That's a fact. Also, by the way, girls don't walk around thinking we have the tightest pussies. Yeah.

I give myself a very fair assessment, I think. I'm not like, oh, God, you know, I don't think I have the grippiest pussy. I think I have strength. Like, my kegels are real strong, and I know how to time it with the undulation of a man. What does that mean? When he thrusts in and out, you time when you squeeze, right? You squeeze and suck.

It's a timing thing. If you're just constantly doing this, there's strategy involved. But I don't think that i have the tightest pussy in the world no i think i just know how to do it and that's how i feel that men should also look at it because there's no i also but i'm very anti-body shaming like i don't like i just don't see a reason to talk about dick size and better or worse because I've had sex with different sizes and different people and there's not a correlation to the good time that I had.

Yeah. That makes sense. If the motion was good, is there a size that you would like the ocean to be? Husband dick. Husband dick. is there a size that you would like the ocean to be? I husband, Dick husband, Dick husband, Dick is where it's at. Yeah.

And that might be different for everyone, but husband, Dick is really the goal. You might be husband, Dick for your wife. I hope so. Hope she can handle a little alpha brain. Okay.

Before we leave anything else that we need to share with the people, guys? Al, do you have any more brilliant questions that you should have asked an hour in? Yeah. Okay, go. Did you have sex with your brother? Oh, God. Possibly. But I did have sex with my stepbrother.

He has since passed away. He killed himself. R.I.P. He was a very sweet boy. I had sex with a boy who I was told after I had sex with him that he could potentially be my brother. He does look like me. We're never going to do the DNA test because I don't think I'd be able to handle that. Got it.

But there are whispers in the family because our families are very close. Whoa. And we sort of grew up together so a lot of filipinos are related though back to the original point thank you that you said so i don't want to know and this is like you met as adults or this was during like a child no we grew up together my his gram his dad my dad and his grandpa were best friends in the philippines i don't know what they were doing in the 70s, if they were swapping partners. But somehow I have a family friend who looks exactly like me.

And I had sex with him when I was 19 for a whole year. And then only later to find out through his grandma, she was like, wait, like, you know, there could be a chance. All the while, everyone's like, you guys look like each other. And we're like, yeah, that's what happens when people date. They end up looking like each other, but we really do look like each other. I really want to see what he looks like. I know. Is that bad?

And worst of all is that, like, there was something about him even though I found him attractive you know they say you are repulsed by your own DNA it was not a pheromone match I remember feeling I didn't like the way he smelled a lot of things about him

was that like a third world thing though? I don't know the way he smelled he was born and raised... He was... No! Andrew! That's racist.

I don't know. Not everyone from the Philippines stinks. You're shitting a hole in the ground. I don't know exactly how... You're being racist. Do we have indoor plumbing? Yes. Depends.

Where? It's a metropolis. Yeah, Manila's one of the biggest cities in the Western world, Andrew. That's a good point. Have you ever smelled a girl's breath and either been super attracted to it or super unattracted to it yeah that's like what we're kind of yeah but that's mostly if they if they've uh cleaned their mouth or or it's just not your biological match i don't know if that's breath yeah i think that's a little

bit more like the body odor i think is so do you like some women's body odor and some you don't know if that's breath. Yeah, I think that's a little bit more. Like the body odor, I think, is a little bit more. So do you like some women's body odor and some you don't? I don't want to say like, but like it's more tolerable. It's like more like fun. Guys who literally will put their nose and just take the biggest whiff because it's a pheromone match. Yeah, I get that. You want to go? No, not on you.

I'm sure it's flowers or daisies or whatever. Do you, do you, have you spoken to him since? Um, yeah. Okay. Another question. I've always wanted this. Was it like a, like a Lego? Oh, there's that.

There's husband dick. And then there's brother dick. Brother dick. Brother dick might be. Is it like exactly the amount? Like, did you guys lock in and go, oh fuck. Like we are. Like avatars. Yeahars yeah honestly he did kind of fuck like me he did fuck like you yeah a little bit in what way and i didn't like it he just like there was the clashing of energies there it's like it wasn't because it

wasn't a biological match and i remember like yeah getting the feminine the jingies after. Did he also get on all fours after until you did? Yes. Okay. Any more hard hitting questions from our audience? Have you two ever hooked up? Because isn't it an ongoing thing that you are going to slip together one day? We have not hooked up, but I am attracted to Kalilah. Have you ever hooked up with a girl before? No comment. but I am attracted to Kalilah. So that's...

Have you ever hooked up with a girl before? No comment. Oh, really? Yeah, no comment. I got super hetero vibes from you. Like never would hook up with a girl. That's interesting. Yeah.

Everyone else gets the opposite vibe from her. Yeah, I get like... No, I get that too though like i get that from i get that type she has carla's name tattooed on her yeah but like i could see you this is again i don't know uh i could see you finding her beautiful and like objectively attractive and very comfortable to be around totally when it comes to actually like i am turned on and i want to have sex with this person i don't see it why not you're just you're just a fucking hetero dude so you don't snail trail for me after all i i would take my it doesn't drip dude it doesn't

matter it doesn't drip dude what your take is. So I'll just say that. I think that you're like holding on to this identity that you're like a little half dyke, but nah, dude. Nah, dude. I don't think. You know what? I don't think, dude. My parents will like your take,

so I'll go with this take. Dry. It's so funny you guys have that because Andrew and Dove have the same running joke. What? Yeah, that eventually they're going to smash. 100%. Oh, then maybe you're projecting onto me that yours is a joke.

We're the same fucking person, Esther. We've been saying this the whole podcast. Maybe we just acknowledge it right now. Then maybe we need to have a side convo about how we really feel about the person sitting next to us. About the off-white people around us? You and I. About the slightly more tan than us people

that we're attracted to? We should be comfortable. We'll privately talk and see how we really feel. No, am I crazy off to say that in terms of you finding and appreciating someone's beauty, but then actually going, I want to scissor that person? I felt it from her.

What? The thing. I see it as almost like a motherly thing. That makes me feel great. I totally hear what you're saying. What, is that wrong? You know what? I fucked my brother.

Why not fuck my child? That's good. That's a good point. I think we've got the start of the pot. Okay, do you have any sexual attraction to women? I have been with women. But because sex didn't really mean anything to you? I would probably lean a lot more hetero.

I'm kind of a straight bitch in that way. I really love penis. And I can be with a woman i i'm not into pussy and i have tried i have really tried to you know to be there like during three i can't do it yeah it's not what i'm into i don't see either of you as even half very hetero energy from both of you that's very very interesting. I have trauma around, you're making me realize, I have trauma around being ashamed of being gay when I was in elementary school

because I experimented with other little girls, which I've learned is child on child sexual abuse. Yeah. So I wonder why, I wonder if there's something subconsciously in me that's trying to be hetero seeming and that's what you're picking up on, but I might just be making that up. I don't know.

It's, but I, I just don't want to discount your take, but I disagree with it. Discount it. I guess I will. It's all good. Yeah. You can eat my pussy, Esther. Thank you. I mean, I didn't get this name on my arm just because

she's my friend yeah that's a good point you have plans but she also has commitment issues it's gone in nine months oh i know if she did the real link i'd be like nah this girl's full fucking bull well that would be mentally ill i think wait what do you mean If I got her name tattooed forever, that would be mental illness. Really? I think so. Why? I just think that that, would that make you uncomfortable? Well, she presented it as a birthday gift to me on my birthday. She was like, for your birthday, look what I did. And I remember calling Bobby and Bobby's like, what the fuck is wrong with you?

Yeah, Bobby was mad at me. And Dave, my fiance fiance was mad at me. It's a love square. It's a love square. I don't think there is the thing is there's no answer here. We're all weird. You're getting a little gayer I'm not gonna lie.

You're getting a little bit gayer dude. She's warming up a bit. I'm kind of seeing it now. Yeah she just said it was a love box box I mean that's That's the gayest thing ever Pretty lesbian It's a love box Yes

Okay well guys Thank you so much for coming out Make sure you check out Their podcast Trash Tuesdays And I'm sure that you explain All the delicious stories That you've told us today In further detail over there

Right And for the record Yes We do have more in the tank Than just Dick and pussy talk I didn't want to talk about this. I started talking about trans athletes.

I was ready for Ukraine. I'm prepped for Ukraine. Did you really? And then I got brother fucking. Okay, go, go. What do we got for Ukraine? That's okay. No, that's, you know what?

It has escaped my brain. And we really want to have you on our show when you're in LA. Bullshit. Are you kidding me? I want it have you on our show when you're in la bullshit are you kidding me i want to come on so bad i think bobby's starting to be between you he's this is what he said yesterday okay he's like they're not gonna know this but i'm gonna plant the seeds he's trying to tell akash he's like akash you're the star don't you forget he's right akash is but he's starting just so you know i'm trying to undermine the beef right yeah i'm trying to pacify the potential war after all i did for him right getting him into rehab to try to destroy everything that's mine he's russian dude and you can't snitch on your husband no but this is what this is they're made for each other

we really are they really are so broken yeah we cannot find any other people yeah carlos you be careful okay bobby's trying to disrupt our podcast which is kind of a metaphor for russia and ukraine so in a way we did talk about we did talk about it so there you go kalilah i got what is there anything else you want to talk about i didn't want to talk about sex with you guys at all. You guys forced this. I did. You forced it on him.

You literally forced it on him. He said no over and over. It's funny. It's okay. Look, I like talking about it. I don't give a fuck. I have a podcast called Tiger Belly 2 with Bobby and I. And so go listen to that.

Yeah. And our show, Trash Tuesday. Is there an episode you'd recommend from your show that people should go check out if they want to get a uh a first taste I would say any one of the episodes with you on oh Tiger yeah Tiger Valley and people should watch oh with Trash Tuesday yeah um oh god um there's we always say this when somebody comes on they recommend a podcast right it's kind of daunting for someone who's never listened that's smart so I go what is the podcast that you think would be the best entry point what is the one episode for your podcast maybe we just had chris di stefano on that was really fun we all dressed in goth i saw the pictures yeah will you do a theme with us when you come

on our show okay shoemaker we should all do a role play fantasy outfit actually I love this I will role play with you guys first yes so I can practice it you can be an F1 driver for my wife I want to be an F1 driver yeah and everyone can be in the pit crew take the tires off I'm just gonna have Emma sign off on this first

on us all doing role play okay perfect that works something tells me she's hot and doesn't care incredibly incredibly i'm a good friend to guys because they usually like the wives are always like yeah or you can hang out with her that's fine no yeah why you think by me i don't know no because why because you don't look, you have trusting intentions. Oh, thank you. Like, yeah, I don't think that you're out there to like steal somebody's husband.

Yeah. Maybe their wife. Oh. Now. Bobby needs to. Maybe you gave Bobby the drugs. Oh, no. No, I love Bobby.

He's my papa, too. Yes. Two. Two. Meaning you're mama. Oh, I love Bobby. He's my papa too. Yes. Two. Two. Meaning you're mama. Oh, no. No, no, no. Guys, go check out Trash Tuesday.

Thank you guys so much for watching. I appreciate you guys being here. Thanks for having us. Thank you. Absolutely. Bye.